Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL: Would You Wear Underwear That Played Christmas Jingles?

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

One of our listeners did... after she was gifted them from her partner. Who even knew those existed! We also caught up with THE HIPPO (Chris Hipkins), one of our fave people & the front runner for NZ's quote of the year. Finally, you know that noise you hear when your child winds down the window slightly in the back seat of the car? VERY ANNOYING NOISE! Jono did more research into why this happens. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, brought to you by Rosene, New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi made since 1946. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Hi there, it's Jonathan Richard Pryor, Benjamin Ross Boyce, coming at you. Is there a full version of Ross, or is Ross just Ross? Well, yeah, I think Ross. Some of these Ross go. I don't know if that's...

Is Ross go a full name? Yeah, I don't know. Mine's just Ross. As I say, there's no real family connection to that. The Ross-tacular? It was my dad's middle name. I don't think he was particularly like... He wasn't fond of it.

He wasn't like, he was like, oh, but he decided to continue it. Yeah. And that's where it stopped. You didn't name your daughter Ross? You didn't name your daughter Ross? Middle name Ross? No, I didn't. Indy Ross.

Yeah, I'd love to do that. You should have done that. It's a tradition, guys. We've got to keep this tradition going. It would be, because it's a middle name, so it doesn't affect your day-to-day, does it? No, no. But it's a niggle. It's a niggle on you when you have to fill out a declaration form

and you're like, oh, my middle name's Ross. Ross. You know, look, I'm not taking it. I know some great Rosses. You don't look like a Ross, though. It's a Ross.

I wouldn't pick you for... Ross Taylor's one of my favourite cricketers. It's not a Ross of friends. It's a great name, but it's just, there's no connection. I don't have a connection to it.

That's my thing. What was the connection to Ben? Why Ben? Well, that's, yeah, I think it was apparently because my mum had a C-section and she was very not with it.

And they hadn't even talked about it. And Dad was just like, hey, it's a boy. And she was like, oh, Benjamin, boy. And that was what she said. And they were like, oh, okay. They'd not even had a preview. They talked about names and that wasn't even on the list. And so they were like, oh, yeah. And then he woke up and said, what did I say?

He also said Ross with the middle of the name. What did I say? Probably. Wild night. Wild, wild night. Wild night, yeah. Anyway, we've got a little Benjamin Ross here. So there you go.

BRB is Be Right Back, so that's quite, you know. That's cool. It's great initials. But, you know, that's about it. Yeah. That's good. What about Jonathan? Jonathan? I guess your dad's John. Is he John? He's not a child. But I don you know, that's about it. Yeah. That's good. What about Jonathan? Jonathan.

I guess your dad's John. Is he John? But I don't know if that was a true. I don't actually know why that ended up in the brainstorm of Jonathan Richard Pryor. Or JR. I've said it before. There was a show, Dallas. Gosh, who shot JR?

It was a big storyline. Yeah, it was a huge show, right? And my mum was stationed in Seattle at the time that I was fossicking around inside of her. And that's where she got it from. She was a big fan of Dallas. So there you go. You could have been Dallas. Dallas could have been your name.

That's a cool name. That is cool. There are some names that you just instantly respect, don't you? Shooter. Yeah, I don't know many shooters. I feel like that's more of a nickname, don't you? Yeah. Shooter. Yeah, I don't, yeah, well, yeah. I don't know many shooters, but if you like. I feel like that's more of a nickname, but maybe I'm wrong.

Yeah. What do you think is the most, okay, let's Google the most respected names. Most respected names. Boys and girls names. Most, we'll start with girls names. Most respected girls names. Oh, okay. The most respected girls' names are probably based on

success, I would say, professionally and personally as well. Olivia. Who's saying this, though? Because, I mean, there's a big part of the world that's not all... The internet, mate. You're going to question the internet? I'm going to question the internet. Billions and billions of people

threw over the... Because we allude about the most popular name the other day, and I keep forgetting. Was it Maria for a female? Wasn't that one of the most popular names? Popular girl's name. Olivia. Is it?

Is it? Yeah. Is it really? What is the number one most popular girl name? 2020, Olivia. Oh, yeah, but overall, yeah. Rank two, Emma. So I see why Olivia would also be the most respected

because there's so many of them. It's just a numbers game. Yeah. But that's in 2021. I'm just talking of all time, number one seed. Of all time. Of all time. Most popular girl's name of all time, Mary.

Ah, Mary. I feel like this isn popular girl's name of all time. Mary. Ah, Mary. I feel like this isn't what your brain wanted to remember. No, I'm sure we, anyway. 50 most popular girl's names in the last 100 years. Is that going back far enough for you? Yeah, because we were talking the other day about the most popular, you know, Mohammed's obviously a very popular name throughout the world as well. Oh, there's some great names out there, don't get me wrong.

But yeah, Karen's at number 11. Yeah, well, Karen, you'd think nowadays has been tarnished. Big brand damage for Karen, wasn't it? Which is a shame, because I know some lovely Karens. Who? I'm not going to say last names on the thing, but I do love the Karens. What do they do? They're lovely things for people.

I just actually got my wife a gift the other day, you know, because it was something they'd been talking about. Was it an apology gift? No, I couldn't find... That was to the point of my wife going, she came over and she was like, I couldn't find this thing, I've been looking for this in a shop. She went and bought it for her in the shop without even...

Unprompted. They saw each other at the school gate, she gave that. But you didn't see what sort of scenario she created in the shop with the store assistant. She demanded it. See, this is the problem. Let me talk to your manager. No, I do know some lovely Karens

as well. Karen Carpenter. She's a good singer. Yeah, she was a great singer. No, but Karens are, yeah, I don't know why Karen was plucked out of thin air as a complainer. Imagine if that was just the, oh, you're such a Jono. And everyone's like, oh, Jono. You know, imagine if that was your name and you're like, oh. Everyone's like, oh, go on, you're being a Jono.

You're like, oh, you know. That would hurt. That would hurt. Yeah, so I feel for the Karen. Mind you, I've probably done that to the name Jono. Yeah, true. I'm probably the result of that. Yeah, I'm responsible for that.

Jono is you, pretty much. Yeah, you're right. That would hurt. So let's stop hating on Karens. No, I think so. I mean, yeah. Okay, and we didn't get around to what's the most respected boy's name of all time. Most respected boy's name.

Ready? What do you reckon it is? Oh, I don't know. Liam. Liam? Okay. Nothing more to add? No, no, no I feel like you're fading out on this

Have you checked out? He started clear emails He no longer wants to participate in the podcast intro Hey, enjoy the show today Ben Boyce is going to be listening to Michael Bublé That's going to be one name he's not going to forget Non-stop, over and over and over It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

And also We've got $6,000 to give away not going to forget, non-stop, over and over and over, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. And also, we've got $6,000 to give away with that Rosene Paynton, if you think you know what's inside it. Have a listen to the podcast. Warning, this show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hits, with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Tomorrow around about this time is when I'm going to start listening to Michael Bublé's It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Over and over and over and over again and hopefully this will capture the attention and the imagination of Michael Bublé and he will complete his charity work for the year and call you, because you've always wanted to talk, well not always wanted to talk to him, just over the last three weeks you wanted to talk to him. Well I have always wanted, he seems like

a great dude and I'm like, it'd be great to talk to and then I was very jealous the other radio stations got to talk to him including Well, I have always wanted. He seems like a great dude. And I'm like, hey, it'd be great to talk to him. And then I was very jealous of the other radio stations. Got to talk to him. Including our own radio station, The Hits. You know? No, just not us. So, yeah. They chose a better show.

Stace, Mike and Anika. They're like, you know, Bublé's going to like them more. And I understand. Good decision. Good play. Yeah. But yeah, so Bublé, hopefully we'll hear this call, this cry for help from this desperate radio announcer in New Zealand and

Ben Boyce, I've done some more googly on the boobily and you probably know this information if you're a fan. Did you know he was in the X-Files, the TV show? He still dabbled in acting for a little bit Yeah, he was like an extra in the X-Files and

he got sacked because he was so hungry, and they don't feed extras on Hollywood sets. And so he went to the catering table and took a hot dog. And he had a hot dog, and you know, the lady said to him, you'll never work in this town again. He got a you'll never work in this town again. I've dreamed of saying that to someone.

You'll never work in this town. Yeah, you'll never. And then you're like, well, what form of employment? Like, I could get a job at a petrol station. Yeah, that's right. It's a big town. Yeah. You'll never work in this town again.

So he got sacked from the X-Files, which is quite interesting. And his job, how he became a singer. He was performing as a 25-year-old at the Canadian Prime Minister's daughter's wedding. Yeah, I did read this. He was singing away, crooning away, and Gigi Hadid's stepfather, I think, he was there. He's like a record company mogul. Right.

Bublé went up to him and was like, hey, baby, let's sign. And he's like, you're going to need $500,000 to get into the record business. This is what this guy said to him. Sounds like a fob-off. Yeah. And he raised the money and got into the record business. I don't know why you need $500,000. Surely you just need a good voice. Why does he need to raise $500,000?

Definitely a fob off. He also had to get approval from that lady who said, you'll never work in this town again. He's like, can I get this job? Is this alright? Is this a new jurisdiction? So yeah, interesting facts about Michael Bublé. Many layers And you can talk about all those layers with him if he calls you

If he does, that is going to be my Christmas present From you to me But of course you're making me listen to a song on repeat What greater Christmas present Because we don't buy each other presents So I found a loophole where I can still give you something From the generosity of my big cold heart Okay

Oh wait, hold on to the hats though. This is what we want to open up. This could turn out to be an inappropriate Christmas present, especially if you're still here on January 4th or something. Yeah. What is the most inappropriate Christmas present you've learned, you've had over the years? Yeah, a Christmas present that you maybe brought for someone that maybe wasn't quite received in the way that you thought it was going to be.

My friend in Wellington this year is buying his wife a water blaster. No. And I'm like, has she blasted water before? Does she like blasting water? Does she like? And he's like, no, but he sees it and I get his logic. It's a gift for the household.

But if you open up a water... It's just a wasted gift. Yeah, I've made a similar mistake before we've much publicised pan that fries amongst other items but everything focuses around this one item oh you got me a pan

this will be the thing he's creating a very high pressure situation for himself not only with the water blasting but also the social interaction. But that's the thing. And he's like, well, she said that we need a water blast for the house.

So he's like, well, I've been listening. I've done my listening. That's what I did. I did the same thing, but don't do it. Don't. No.

No. No. Anyway. That's an out of Christmas. Just buy it. Just a water blast for the house. You've been listening. Great.

Not on Christmas Day. That's our advice. It's not a present. Yeah. Oh, under the hits. 4487. Every caller that gets on the air gets a Christmas ham. The most inappropriate Christmas presents you've received or maybe given.

We'll take both. How are you blowing out at Christmas? We'll do that next. Rated M for mildly amusing. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. Now it is Christmas time we know it's Christmas thank you Band-Aid

and we want to know this morning on 0800 The Hits the most inappropriate or the present that you bought for someone or maybe received that hasn't gone down

as well as you expected Sometimes you do miss the mark don't you Ben Boyce you just mentioned your frying pan frying pan saga

of circa 2018 where you gifted a frying pan to your wife. Don't know what you're thinking. In amongst other presents. But anyway, I was like, have I talked about this a bit too much? And you're like, no, no, not at all. And then you found this montage of me talking about it way too much. I bought a frying pan.

It was one of many gifts for my wife, but the frying pan's all we remember. But it turns out, no matter what the circumstances, a frying pan is not a good gift to buy for your wife. About how I brought a frying pan a few years ago for my wife. A few times. As part of a few presents. We should be saying how we need a new frying pan, we need a nice one and I'll, oh great, I'll put that in amongst

all these other presents. Yeah, I got some jewellery, I got something else and I got a frying pan and you know, this was part of a trifecta of presents. I try to justify it every time. It's all part of all the presents. This is the thing. You boil it down to the, yeah, well not boil it,

fry it down. Is the frying pan still in circulation? Was it a good frying pan? It was top of the line frying pan. It doesn't matter how top of the line it is, it's still the base problem is it's a frying pan. That's the issue. So inappropriate presents. What have you got for us, Nathan and Hamilton?

Welcome. Yeah, hi. I got my fiancée at the time a steam mop. Oh, dear. I thought it was a great idea because we just moved into a place that was all tiled. But, yeah, no, she didn't. It wasn't a good idea. You made the mistake that I made.

And you said fiancé at the time. Did this relationship go on to marriage or did it end? It went on to marriage, but yeah, it didn't end. It ended. Oh, it ended. Who took the steam mop? Who took the steam mop? What happened to the mop?

I think we were in Australia at the time. I think we just left it there. Mop couldn't mop up that mess it didn't get used much oh jeez thank you for sharing that with us we're going to send you out a ham for Christmas alright oh awesome thank you

here we go with the learnt steam mops aren't an appropriate gift here that's all thanks to Farmland Foods Farmland's hams, let's get Rebecca on from Tauranga morning Rebecca, inappropriate Christmas presents, what have you got? I've got a doozy Thanks to Farmland Foods, Farmland's hams. Let's get Rebecca on from Tauranga. Morning, Rebecca. Inappropriate Christmas presents. What have you got? I've got a doozy.

My husband thought he would buy me a Victoria's Secret G-string that came in a little Christmas ball that you hung on the tree. And the special bit of this was it had a little button in it, and if you pressed it, it would play a little Christmas song. So I thought I'd be a little bit naughty and we went to Ikea and we were coming down the elevator with our two small children and a stroller

and my son, who had seen his dad push the button several times, decided to play everyone in the elevator some Christmas music out of Mummy Sundays. She was like, is your crotch playing? Needless to say, they went in the wash and mysteriously broke. Yeah.

Your genitals playing with you on Merry Christmas. Yeah. That's so good. So good. We're going to send you out a ham for thanks to Farmland Foods. You'll enjoy that. Thank you so much. It was such a great story

Merry Christmas thank you thank you long live those underpants I want to get you some of those they're great yeah

so good like a jukebox for you Jenny's beautiful well thank you very much for your calls they're proud of New Zealand go New Zealand if only New Zealand was proud of them They're proud of New Zealand Go New Zealand

If only New Zealand was proud of them Jono and Ben New Zealand's breakfast On the hits The New Zealand quote of the year Well the competition for the quote of the year Is hotly contested It's out this week at the moment

You can vote at Massey University And we are one of the ten finalists For a little song that we wrote about Judith Collins To celebrate her leadership as National Party leader. The only time we'll ever be associated, our names, with Massey University. Yeah, true. So that's a wonderful honour already. But the frontrunner, you'd have to say the frontrunner for the competition,

joins us on the phone right now, Labour MP, Minister Chris Hipkins. G'day, how are you going? Doing well, mate. How are you? You're good, Tink, you're good. Are you getting time off over summer? I mean, how's it all working? Yeah, mate. How are you? You're good, Tink. You're good. Are you getting time off over summer? I mean, how's it all working? Yeah, hoping to have a little bit of time off. Hoping to spend a bit of time with the family, with the kids.

I saw one, I think it was a press conference, probably a couple of months ago, and you're like, I was meant to have a day off with the family, and you got called on to work again. Yeah, there haven't been many days off over the last year, I'm afraid. Oh, Jesus. You're going to get a bit of pressure on at home now, Chris. Like, hey, can we just stop with these press conferences? Yeah, no more press conferences over the holidays unless something goes wrong. So there better not be any.

Yeah, right. Now, we understand you're all on a bit of a shift system over the summer New Year period. The Prime Minister covering Christmas Day, she's taken the hit. Oh, yeah. So the Prime Minister and I are going to be on COVID duty between now and the 2nd of January. And then Grant Robertson and Aisha Vero will be on duty from the 2nd of January through to the end of the summer break, which is about the 15th of January for us.

The Aucklanders, they're escaped. As of 11.59 last night, they were accused at the border. 20,000 people, I think, going through the Auckland airport today to and from the city. I have no follow-up question there. This is a great stats. What do you think of those stats? Do you like those stats?

Good stats? I think it shows that Aucklanders, after a very difficult couple of months, are dead keen to get out there and spread themselves around the country. Well, thanks for saving that weird question. It wasn't a question, but you pulled through. Thank you. Yeah, now, Chris Hipkins, we've got you on the phone because you have been nominated for one of the quotes of the year

in the New Zealand quotes of the year, which is not surprising, really. Yeah, well, it's one of those moments where, you know, like if you watch the video, I've clearly figured out that I'd said something that I wasn't supposed to, but hadn't quite figured out exactly what it was that I'd just said. And I have to confess, it did take me a few minutes to realise what I had just said.

Well, Bloomfield picked up on it early. You could tell by his, he had a wry smile and then it's one of those things where you're

just talking. You just have to say words don't you and you think I think I've landed in the ballpark there. I have to tell you

though if I'm ever in a poker game I want Ashley Bloomfield to be on the opposing side. He is a great poker face. This was of course

the moment, have a listen to this okay it is a challenge in higher density areas for people to get outside and to spread their legs so at that point you're like that that's not quite right is it but you've embraced it you were you had a coffee mug that i i saw you a couple of days later at a press conference oh you said there's coffee mugs there's t-shirts there's everything. I've inspired a whole range of merchants. That's something to aspire to. This is a career highlight. At least there's a good spin-off post to their political career, too.

You can do the Spread Your Legs Tour. I can see money to be made for years to come, Chris, off this. Nick Minnett, we traded off that for years. Yeah, true. But there's some other finalists in the Massey University quote of the year as well. There was the little girl who saw the goat on her front lawn. It's just a goat. No, it's a

f***ing goat. I mean, that's pretty good. That's tough competition for you, Chris Hipkins. Well, I have to tell you as a parent, you know, with the kids in the backseat of the car, they hear everything that you say. And it's when they start to repeat it to you that you're kind of like, ooh, something awkward there. Your kids say back to you,

that's the effing COVID number for today. How the eff did that get so high? But we are actually in the, I don't know how we made the top 10. I don't know if you know this as well. We made a wee parody song for Judith Collins when, you know, just to celebrate her time as leader. And we got a line in there as well,

which I'm not sure how it got. I think we're just making up numbers, Chris. Oh, yeah. No, I haven't heard the song. What, you haven't taken time out to listen to our... What else have you been doing this year, eh? To our Judith Collins parody? We won't punish you with it right now.

I feel like I've missed out. Oh, hey, Chris Hipkins. I want to thank you on behalf of New Zealand for, you know, these are long hours, nonstop days that you're all doing there, and you're just trying to do the best thing for the country, navigate us through, well, you know, these unprecedented times, as we keep hearing. So thank you for all your service.

It is appreciated. Well, thank you, guys, and I hope you have a great summer. I hope everybody listening has a good summer holiday too. Quickly before you go too, have you had any change? Last time we spoke to you, I tried to pitch some nicknames. I said the hippo off Hipkins. Have you had a change of heart on that yet? No, I have to say none of them have quite stuck.

Okay, all right, okay. He's the spread your legs guy now. That's why he had to do the spread your legs thing. All right, well, get out there and spread your legs today, Chris Hipkins. Thank you very much. All right, cheers, guys. See you, mate. New Zealand's Breakfast.

This is Jono and Ben on the hits. Good morning. Welcome along to the show. It's good to be with you guys Wednesday morning. Freedom Day, the 15th. The borders are open. The Aucklanders are out. The COVID is spreading.

Welcome along to New Zealand's Breakfast. Yeah, that looks like it was 12,000 people going through Auckland Airport today. What's that compared to other just average airport days? I guess compared to yesterday, it was probably 12,000 more. It's probably up 100%. Yeah. No, I imagine there was a few flights, but yeah, like huge. So a lot of people going through the borders.

I don't imagine it's going to be a mass rush, like driving today, because people are still working Christmas, but I imagine it'll start picking up from now, people leaving. Apparently there were people waiting at the border in their vehicles, waiting for midnight or 11.59 to go. Oh, really? Yeah, just so they could gun it. And it's not like being in a prison.

It's a big city. There's stuff to do. But you can't leave. I mean, if you haven't seen family or friends and loved ones, you know, I can understand. That's the thing. Well, more on this, more on Aucklanders infecting the rest of New Zealand. We'll cover this today. But, Julia, you were saying last night your sheets got blown off.

I thought you were going to say got blown off your bed. It was so windy. But they got blown off the washing line. They got blown off the washing line with pegs. Like, I put the pegs down to hold them down, and they still came off. And that's not something that you want to face at quarter to five in the morning. Now, it's been torrential rain since Sunday. At what stage did you hang your sheets out?

Do you know what? Our sheets are kept under shelter, which is the greatest thing. If you are ever building a house or renovating, put your washing line under cover. It's so good. Oh, well, there you go. That's a little bit of advice for you. A little life advice. A little lesson I've learned. Hey, we got a big

prize thanks to Rosene. Around about $7,000. You've got to guess what's inside the Rosene paint tin. We're trying to get the attention of Michael Bublé as well before the end of the week. And $5,000 cash. That is up for grabs. And don't forget, every caller wins a ham. It is a huge show. Jono and Ben, heading into

Christmas. Two dads just trying to fill some air time. Some may say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some air time for us. That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Now the kids have come up with a format they'd like me to test on the radio with you, Ben.

It's a game show. Right. To see if it has any legs. It's called It's If Ben. It's a game show. Right. To see if it has any legs. It's called If You Think You're So British where you put on British accents and you ask British-related questions related to everything in the UK. Okay.

But you, as the contestant, you have to keep up a British accent. Oh my God, I love this. Have a listen. This is Oscar, my son. He's explaining the game. If you're so British. How does it work? to keep up a British accent. Oh my God, I love this. Have a listen. This is Oscar, my son. He's explaining the game. If you're so British.

How does it work? So here's how the game works. I ask you questions about British things and you answer in a British accent and try and get them right. So there we go. We need to sneak this in before it becomes offensive to do a British accent.

Yeah, true. Okay, so hit the music producer, Juliet. Hello, Giza. Welcome along to If You're So British. Today we have Boney Ben. Hello. From Big Ben. We have Big Ben.

Hello, Giza. G'day. I know, they say g'day, don't they? That's Australian. Hello, hello, hello. I'm not good with accents. I'm not, you know. Well, you have to keep them up, mate. It's cause as if you're so British. Hello there, Juliet.

Hello, how are you? Oh, she's very good. You're very quaint British. All right, first question. What does bottle and stopper mean? If I was saying I've been caught by the bottle and stopper, what would you say? Would it be a copper? Hey, well done. You're so British. Can I get a bit more posh British? Can I change my... Yes, I like a posh British accent. I like your accent.

You're sounding like Boris Johnson. Now we have a different contestant. I've just swapped in there. There we go. If I was to say to you, oh, I'm carrying a bit of a crowded space round here, what would you say to me if you were so British? Crowded space?

Oh, I'm not sure I'm aware of that dialect. Must be regional. You'd be carrying a suitcase, geezer. Going on holiday. The common people would be And finally, I want to say to you Congratulations You're so British That's it

You win a lifetime of being stereotyped For poor oral hygiene And being quite quaint and charming In personality You're so British. There you go. Yeah, you're so British. I don't know if that's going to fly.

Well, it's interesting. I watched it. It was on the other night on TV. I think it's TVNZ2. There was a game show hosted by Dame Helen Mirren. It was all about Harry Potter. Oh, yes. It was like a Harry Potter game show.

And I thought, this will be interesting. But, jeez, the people on that, incredibly knowledgeable. Nerds? Yeah. Nerds. Yeah, that's what he wanted to say. Yeah. It's just like, you're like, oh, this will be like, in Dumbledore's office in the movie,

which one of these items is not in his office? Oh, wow. Like a whole thing, and they'll be like, oh, it'd be there. Oh, I think it's the clock tower, the model there. Oh, my gosh. And it's like, yeah, that's right, and they clash away to the movie. And it's just incredible how much they know about the movies and the books. Yeah, well.

But playing at home, you're like, I have no idea. Like, like literally no idea it's far easier to win if you're so british now there's a big joseph parker fight it's happening in the uk on sunday heavyweight boxing at its best it's going to be on from seven to midday in new zealand time sunday you can watch it on sky arena or sky sport now and fighting on the same fight on the undercard is David Nika, who recently, you all know him, he won a bronze medal for New Zealand in the Olympics. Yeah, and he's almost too handsome for boxing. I don't think we should be risking that face. Put my face in the ring.

I can take a couple of hits. Not that face. And he joins us from the UK right now, David Nika. Good morning. How you doing, buddy? Oh, what's up, man? I'm good. Long time no speak.

You been well? Yeah, I've been really good, man. Really good. So whereabouts in the world are you right now in the UK? I'm in sunny Morecambe. Yeah, in the UK. It's getting cold, man. Is it living up to its name?

No. It's not sunny. Apparently, it's really beautiful in summer, but obviously I came at the wrong time of year, so yeah. Well, you've been doing some intensive training. You've been training with Tyson Fury, the world heavyweight champion, camp with Joseph Parker

as well. I mean, we were just watching something. You were in the ring and you had someone was basically throwing a medicine ball towards your abdominals multiple times. Basically punching you in the stomach with the medicine ball, like not softly either. Yeah, I mean, what is that like to experience? Yeah, that was John Fury, so that's Tyson's dad.

And it's a really heavy ball too. I think it's like a 10-kilo ball. So you look like you're in a world of pain, you poor bugger. Oh, dude, it's been a surreal experience so far, Like a 10-kilo ball. You look like you're in a world of pain, you poor bugger. Oh, dude. It's been a surreal experience so far, but I've just lapped it up. It's been cool to be around the likes of the Furies, Joseph Parker. It's crazy, man. My life feels like a movie.

I was just going to say, because these would be your training every day with, I imagine, your heroes. Absolutely. Yeah. Joe's been like a big brother. Then there's Tyson Fury, who's just like the biggest character there is in sports today. So, yeah, I feel like I've got the best of every world right now. If you had spoken to, you know, 2015 David Nika

and you said to him, guess what, you're going to be training with Tyson Fury in 2021. By the way, there's also going to be a pandemic as well, but don't worry about that. you're going to be training with Tyson Fury in 2021. By the way, there's also going to be a pandemic as well. But don't worry about that. You're going to be training with Tyson Fury. You wouldn't have believed it, I imagine, David. Yeah, I don't know. 2015 feels like a long time ago now.

But I've trusted the process until now. And it finally seems like it's paying off. I've done a lot of hard graft behind the scenes. It's paying off you know i've done a lot of a lot of hard graft behind the scenes um it's paying off now and i've got a really a really good team back home that i can that i can thank uh for that oh it's so awesome to see you doing so well and uh yeah fighting on the joseph parker undercard uh at the end of the at the end of the week but obviously we're just watching on the news the uk are having some you know restrictions with covid i mean is it going to be a socially distance

fight now do you have to keep sort of a metre, two metres away? Or how's it work? Dude, I have no idea. I have no idea. I think worst case scenario, I don't even want to talk about worst case scenario. That's my best case scenario is a socially distanced boxing fight. If I was a boxer.

You stay in your corner, I'll stay over here. We'll just look like we're fighting. Should we talk it out? Hey, now what happens with you, because obviously you represented New Zealand at the Olympics and we're all so proud of you and your efforts over there.

What happens now? Because I know there's some rule around if you're a professional fighter, you can no longer compete at the Olympics? No, so I can have up to five professional fights and still go to,

so I'm still heading towards the Colner-Ross Games, which is just down the road in Birmingham. That's still on the cards, and I've still got backing from high-performance sport, which is amazing. So I can go about my business without worrying too much about, obviously, financial. So you can have five professional fights in between games? Different with every that five financial you can have five professional fights in between games different with every country but i can have five professional fights and still fight at the major amateur tournaments it's it's very new it's very new i think since 2016 they've started introducing professionals back into amateur boxing right it's a terrible word to be honest

like you shouldn't be it shouldn't be boxing. Yeah, it doesn't look amateur at all. Yeah, I've been a professional amateur boxer for seven years now. It was just like they found you just outside. They're like, do you want to fight, mate? You're like, oh, yeah, I'll give it a go. You've been training hard for years. But it's going to be a little bit different, I imagine, with this pro fight that you're doing coming up.

Do you have to pick a song to walk out to? Is that something you've done before? I love it, man. It's like my favorite part of the professional boxing scene so far is just the hype around the event. Because I had a look online. There's a website, BoxRec, and there's also Reddit forums about the worst songs to walk out to as a boxer.

Oh, yeah. So obviously there was Why Can't We Be Friends? The Simpsons used it. Why Can't We Be Friends was one. It would really throw your opponent off, wouldn't it? Yeah. And another one I thought was quite good for the wrong reasons was Wham! Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.

Because that's probably saying you're going to get knocked out by the opposition. I like the Why Can't We Be Friends. Yeah, I like it. Last minute change. The other one was, do you really want to hurt me? From Boy George, the culture club. So basically you're walking out to the soundtrack

of the Breeze FM. Well, David, congratulations on everything you've done so far, everything you've achieved, living out your dream, training with Tyson Fury, with Joey Parker, and good luck for the fight. We know you're going to go well

and we'll keep in touch. Jono and Ben, just like family. The family members you're ashamed of. We've got free ham. Ham to give away just in time for Christmas, all thanks to Farmland Foods. If you want a free ham, Jono,

you're basically making people work slightly for it. Well, Ben, we are putting food on the Christmas table. Yeah, right. This is stuff that people would otherwise have to pay for, but this is going to be Christmases on J&B, baby. And Farmland Foods, actually. Probably more Farmland Foods than it is us, thanks to Farmland Hams. Hit the music, Juju.

What is the music? One of these? I want to hold your hand. I want to hold your hand. I want to hold your hand. What was the music you were wanting? Is that it? Is that it? The music was something.

All right. You've got 10 seconds to impress us. We're going to kick it off with Dave in Roto-Roa. Morning, Dave. How are you? Good, mate. Good. 10 seconds to impress us for one of these hams.

Take it away. Well, you know the TV show that you guys used to have? Yeah. You were doing it at the Cambridge Raceway when the Greyhounds were racing. And us as trainers got told we're not allowed to go up to the stands because of it. Oh, so we kicked you out of the stands, did we? Yeah, so you guys kicked us trainers out of the stands. We didn't have a clue who you guys were.

Oh, jeez. And I had to reprogram, and so I watched it, and I thought, yeah, yeah, no, I wouldn't go up there. Don't want to be on that show. Oh, Dave, I'm sorry for kicking you out of the stands. Unintentionally. I had no idea that was going on, so apologies about that. But we'd like to repay you with a ham.

How does that sound? That sounds awesome. That's an apology ham. Oh, is it? Yeah, sorry ham. Do you reckon you could take a dog out to the track as part of your TV programme? Oh, well, the TV programme, unfortunately, it's gone. You didn't watch it, though, so I don't expect you to understand.

You're probably the reason it's gone, Dave. Have a good Christmas. You keep good Christmas Have a great Christmas mate Yeah you too mate Have a good one Hit the music Juliet No piggity That's right Let's go to Brenda in Whanganui

Welcome Brenda How are you? I'm good and you? You wanted a ham You got to impress us in 10 seconds. Well, I've got a different one this morning. I'd like to say thank you to you guys, Ben and Juliet included, for a fantastic show on and off air. Oh, she's played to our egos, pandered to the egos.

Good play. It was lovely. We don't hear compliments too often, so it was unusual, but lovely. I felt like there was going to be a joke at the end of it, but it didn't seem to be. No, no, no.

Just a plain old thank you. Oh, well, Brenda, thank you very much for listening. A thank you back, and we want to say thank you with a free ham thanks to Family and Foods.

That's even better. Oh, well, you have a great Christmas. It's really cool. It's really cool people get up in the morning and spend part of their morning because it is a busy time with us, so it's really cool, actually, so I appreciate it. Yeah, thank you, Brenda. You have a great Christmas. That's really cool. It's really cool people get up in the morning and spend part of their morning because it is a busy time with us.

That's really cool, actually. So I appreciate it. Yeah, thank you, Brenda. You have a safe Christmas. Thank you. Emily, you're on from Taranaki. Ten seconds to impress us for a ham. Good morning.

Take it away, Em. Well, I am currently walking around with a broken foot. Well, that's impressive. What'd you do? I have no idea. I rolled it multiple times, so it was sore, found a lump,

went to the doctor, he goes, you've broken it. Oh my goodness. How long have you been walking around with it? Maybe a couple months. I don't know. You're like one of these ladies who's like, I didn't know I was pregnant

when I gave birth nine months later. It's like one of those stories. Well, kind of.'t know I was pregnant when I gave birth nine months later. It's like one of those stories. Well, kind of. I was like five months when I found out I was pregnant. Oh, you got that as well. Gee. You need to pay more attention to your body. I think so.

Maybe work less. Hey, we're going to send you out a ham. Thanks to Farmland Foods, all right? Fantastic. Thanks, guys. Hit the music, Juliet. Because it's Christmas day And the oven's cooking my

Slow hams Slow hams, that's right We've got more hams to give away throughout the morning It is a hat you've got, shut up Ben Scrolling through your feed Here's three minutes of us pretending to know what we're talking about Scrolling through your feed, Ben Boyce It's heading into Christmas

And gifts have been given all over the place, including some from the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern. Now, throughout the year, she's had question time after the many press conferences that she's done. She's had a few heated exchanges with some reporters, including Barry Soper. Now, Barry Soper works for Newstalk ZB, same building as us.

Well, he's based in Wellington. He's a veteran of the halls of Parliament, isn't he? Barry's been there, I think, for about 79 years in Parliament. No, he's actually legitimately been there for about 30. In a long time. He's a legend. He's a legend. But what happens when the question time, it always seems to be Jessica and then Tova.

So one news, three news, and then it goes to maybe other reporters like Barry at the moment. And there's been lots of tense discussions over questions like this. I will come. Jessica, then Barry, and then Jenna. Barry, TVs are on deadlines as well. Jessica, and so did you. Barry, I'm going to ask for a little decorum. Jessica, and then Barry.

That's like a primary school. I'm going to ask for a little decorum, Barry. Have some decorum, Barry. It's like a primary school. I'm going to ask for a little decorum, Barry. Have some decorum, Barry. Yeah, he got really upset about whether he could go bathroom inside as well. And alfresco dining he kind of got fixated on, didn't he? Every press conference. He was like, when can we dine alfresco? But he got a gift from the Prime Minister for Christmas yesterday,

a face mask that you can wear, and it says on the side, the then Barry. From the Prime Minister. That is good. Yeah, so it's Jessica Tova, then Barry. He's got then Barry, so she knows when to come to it. So it's quite good to see a bit of a sense of humour going on there, and he posted that on his social media.

And tomato prices. Tomatoes have fallen by 49%. I don't know about the housing prices, are they going to be falling, but tomatoes have gone down by half. You can live in a tomato now. Yeah. Well, yeah. Broccoli, strawberries, and potatoes have also fallen at the moment.

But the prices have gone, yeah, pretty much halved for tomatoes of late. Wow. Don't know about your avocados, Juliet. Avocados are cheap as chips at the moment. I always find that fruit and veggies are just always so much cheaper in summer. Like courgettes, eggplants, just everything. Even broccoli. My broccoli chips have gone up

in price though. That's the only thing. Jeez, the strawberries are enormous too at the moment. And we had a sweet spot there when the whole world was in lockdown. A lot of our produce that we would ship off overseas. The good stuff. Like when you have guests around and you're like, bring out the good... The good china.

You can take the plastic off the sofa and that sort of thing. We've seen all that overseas. But we got that here for a while. And we're like, wow, where is all this stuff? No wonder they even think New Zealand's so great. Making ourselves look good for the rest of the world. And that is scrolling through your feed. Don't forget, after 8.30

this morning, guess what's inside the Resine Paint tin in the studio? The summer-ish item. What is that? I still haven't worked it out. If you can work it out, you get about $7,000 today on the show. It is the hits. We go.

It's AJR. Bang, it is the hits. John O'Ban, 648. Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. All right, time now for some spy with producer Juliet. She's got out her binoculars, her trench coats,

and she's ready to do some spying. So Chrissy Teigen and John Legend's eldest daughter Luna lost her first tooth, which is very exciting for any kid because they know that they're going to get some money from the tooth fairy. But the tooth fairy left a note saying that she had accidentally dropped it down the sink after she picked it up. And so Chrissy had to then call a plumber to rescue the tooth. And so she posted on her Instagram story the plumber coming around.

They must have put a camera down the drain to see where this tooth might have been dropped. And they did see it there on camera. So that's a bit of an unfortunate mistake from the tooth fairy there. Well, yeah, you know, the tooth fairy, dealing with a lot of teeth. Yeah, that's so true. You unfortunate mistake from the tooth fairy there Barca well yeah the tooth fairy dealing with a lot of teeth yeah that's so true you know you ever drop some balls along the way

yeah but she does have a lot as well she makes a house out of them doesn't she apparently she must have a mansion

by now maybe she's making she'll probably develop a maybe I'm not sure putting a lot together I remember my daughter Sienna when she cottoned on

that she could make money from losing teeth she would go to the bathroom for hours at a time. Try and pull them out. And just come out and be like, what has gone on? Oh, my goodness. Come out and be like, I've got another one. They're like, just wait for them to be ready.

You know, like, are they ready? It was wiggly. I was like, what? You know, like, just. It's so funny. More money could be coming my way from the tooth fairy. You had to get your seven-year-old some dentures. Yeah. Very early on.

I had to wait quite a while, I think, to earn some money from the tooth fairy because I was a late bloomer in losing teeth, and all my friends would be getting money, and I'd be like, oh. I was probably a little bit like Sienna, like, hurry up and get these out. What's the going rate for a tooth nowadays? I don't know. It used to be $2 when I lost my...

I don't know if it's increased in price now. Probably has inflation. Sometimes it's tough. You know, sometimes it's... I think it was a dollar recently in our household. True. But I think the tooth fairy sort of pays on quality, doesn't she? So she'll pay top dollar for a year.

If you clean your teeth, then she'll pay more. Although, you know, there's a lot of building demand. You know, the prices have gone up for building houses at the moment. So maybe things for her. The supplies. Yeah, you're right. There's a supply chain issue. Maybe Sienna can pull out some more teeth and help that.

And another star has revealed that they had COVID, Billie Eilish. She had COVID and she went on the Howard Stern Show and explained how horrible it actually was for her. How bad was it when you got COVID? It was bad. It was bad. I mean, I didn't die and I wasn't going to die, but that does not take away from how miserable it was. I mean, it was terrible.

I still have side effects. I mean, I was sick for like two months almost. Jesus. And this was in August August and she said that she thinks if she wasn't vaccinated she probably would have died

so she was this was even after a double shot yes wow yeah so but she said the vaccine essentially saved her because without it

she would have been so much worse off that's the thing you know you lose your taste don't you apparently you can't taste anything. That's so sad.

I would hate not being able to taste anything. Yeah. We wouldn't even taste that disappointment we have in our mouths every morning bed. That's right. You'd know it'd be there, though. Yeah. You just couldn't taste it. That is Spy for the South.

More you can enter the hits.co.nz. And you wanted to start it. He always wanted to start up Billy Eyelash, didn't you? Billy Eyelash. That is so smart. Eyelash tinting't you? Oh, that is so smart. Eyelash tinting chain of shots. Yeah, might be a copyright issue. I don't know.

That is so smart. Sort of like professionale, but eyelashes. Billy Eyelash, yeah. Yeah, have them in the malls. Oh, my goodness. Billy Eyelash. He's got no experience with eyelash tinting. No, you wouldn't want to come to Billy Eyelash if I was there,

but the name's great, isn't it? Yeah. He'd be the eyelash person going, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, uh-oh, uh- name's great. Yeah. He'd be the eyelash person, go, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. You want an unconfident eyelash experience, then go visit Billy Eyelash. Brought to you by Ben Boyce.

The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben. Ben Boyce was desperate to have a conversation with the King of Christmas, Michael Bublé. A lot of shows got that opportunity, but you didn't, Ben, and you made it known publicly multiple times, and so this week we're making you, I think this could be the start of a new tradition, Ben Boyce listening to the same Christmas song on repeat.

It's going to be Michael Bublé's It's Beginning to Look Alike. Oh, so you think we do this every year? Annually. This could be our Christmas tradition to get a... If it works with Bublé, I'll consider doing it again with, say, Mariah Carey next year. No, you have to do it with Bublé again every year. That's what a tradition is.

It has to be the same thing over and over. Okay, I'll consider it. But that's going to be happening Thursday, Friday. He's going to be listening to It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas on repeat until hopefully Michael Bublé puts him out of his misery. Or maybe not. But I was looking. I got into an internet wormhole of Christmas traditions around the world.

Hit it, Juliet. Jono's internet wormhole. Yeah, that's right. He's gone grotto. He's in a North Pole hole right now because there are some unusual traditions around the world, Ben Boyce. In Japan, do you know, for most Japanese, the traditional Christmas dinner is KFC. Really? KFC.

Now, this is thanks to, obviously, small apartments, tiny ovens, cooking facilities aren't available. You actually have to book to get into a KFC restaurant on Christmas Day. Really? And you have to pre-order weeks before if you want to get a bucket of chicken takeaway. In Japan. Wow. And they've put it down to a lot of clever marketing as well and they've sort of advertised to the Japanese.

They've convinced the locals that fried chicken is the traditional American yuletide food. Wow. Maybe they haven't checked the internet.

Yeah. But the KFC, there you go. It seems like a good meal to have on Christmas. But yeah. In Norway, they have the arrival

of evil spirits and witches. So every household in Norway hides their brooms before they go to sleep. In case a very disorganized witch who hasn't had a broom turns up, she's like, oh, I've lost a broom. She gets there on foot, knocks on the door, looking to fly out of the room. Gosh, you don't have a broom, do you? Sorry to wake you up. My bad.

Hide your wives, hide your brooms. The week leading up to Christmas in Venezuela, they all go to early morning church services, but the only way you can get there is via the mode of roller skating. Really? The entire country roller skates to church, which seems... That is so cool. It's like an ACC nightmare waiting to happen.

Like even grandma on roller skates. Yeah, you're right. They all roller skate to the church. In Austria, they've got an evil counterpart to Santa Claus. His name is Krampus. Have you heard of Krampus? No. Basically, it looks like Santa who's been on a 10-day bender.

He's the evil Santa. Santa was a gang member. This is what Krampus. Have a look at Krampus. Oh, really? See what he looks like. And so the tradition. Oh, wow. He looks like a. at Krumpus. Oh, really? See what he looks like. And so the tradition. Oh, wow.

He looks like a. He's got horns. Oh, my gosh. That's scary. Yeah, he's definitely the black sheep of the Claus family. That's for sure. But what they do, the night before Christmas Eve, men dressed like Krumpus, they roam the streets carrying chains looking to abduct children.

Bad, just the bad children. Oh, right. So people are straight and narrow. Yeah, a bit of a drive to stay on the nice list there. Jeez, I mean, that was created in Austria. Jeez, okay. So it's crazy, isn't it? There's some unusual Christmas traditions there.

So why don't we find out if people listening right now have got any sort of, I guess, unusual traditions listening. Yeah. You know? What have you got? Well, I guess nothing that can be too unusual. We do things like, you know, the elf on the shelf arrives. We always watch Elf the movie, Home Alone. You know, we've got some ugly sweaters.

But they're probably things that are probably more, you know, the more traditional sort of things. Yeah, Annie Pryor, my mum, she always gives us sweaters every year, but they're not conducive to the New Zealand Christmas climate. And I always get quite a rashy neck. Do you get a rashy neck thanks to Christmas sweaters? Yeah, but I do love it. I can persist through it because it looks good.

Do you wear it all day? Yeah, I try to. You're a whole fam? Yeah. That's so cute. We got matching ones, yeah. Your body must be working hard in those afternoon hours. Yeah. So 0800 the hits. We do have hams to give away. Everyone we get on here this week wins a free ham.

What is your Christmas tradition? You can text 24487 and get a hold of New Zealand's breakfast. The more unusual, the better. We'd love to hear from you next. It is the hits. Broadcasting live and mostly awake. Jono and Ben

New Zealand's Breakfast on the hits. Heading into Christmas and we want to know about your Christmas traditions every caller wins a ham. I was just reading something actually really interesting last night

my sister sent it to me. A guy who grew up in a Muslim family and he can't go home this Christmas lives in australia because of obviously restrictions so he's never really celebrated christmas before so he's celebrating with his flatmates and he had a few quick observations about christmas that i thought was really quite interesting he's like uh just quickly christmas is a part-time job you have

from november to the end of december it pretty much is he's like people like i've got to get a tree i've got to put the lights up i've got to get the presents i've got to get the food sorted it's like a part-time job that ends with Christmas kind of when it's all wrapped up. And this is why we wonder, why do we get so stressed at the end of the year? You're dead right, because you're already maintaining your day-to-day. Yeah, he said, your gift budget doesn't matter. Your perfect gift will always be $10 more expensive than your budget. He said, the riddle is just aspect to Christmas.

It's optional. It's optional. You can go for it. You can not do it. You cannot do it. It doesn't stop me from celebrating Christmas. And he said people have very strong feelings about their traditions. If someone suggests a certain food they have on Christmas morning because it's a tradition, do not suggest anything different.

They will stab you in the neck. This is what we have because this is what we do. There are a few holes in the pot line to Christmas, aren't there? When you think about it. So it's very clever. Let alone the miracle of the birth, too, that took place in the Virgin Mary. Still branded as a virgin. It's all optional.

It's all optional. Yeah, that's right. Well, we're going to kick it off. What's your Christmas tradition with Kylie in the Bop Bay of Plenty? Welcome, Kylie, to New Zealand's Breakfast. Hello. Welcome. Thank you.

Hello. Welcome. Thank you you too. And your tradition? For 25 years, my mum blackmailed me, cried, and made myself and my four brothers and sisters have a Santa

photo. Even when you were 25 years old, on Santa's knee. 25 was my last photo. Oh, and you weren't a fan of Santa photos? No. Well, not past the age of probably 12, maybe? I think, yeah, after 12 it kind of seemed a bit wrong.

But what was Santa like? Oh, how are you, little girl? Yes, several times. And my mum would stand there and be like, they're just here for the photos. And so would you have to assume a role on Santa's knee? Yes.

We would also have to have matching t-shirts. Matching t-shirts. I love us at 25 years old. And now when you look at all the 25 photos, you can see when we've gone through stages in life, you know, like the golf stage and the wearing makeup for the first time

and all of that, so all the head styles. And slowly the look in your eyes, you just become dead as the years go on. Please don't make me... Well, every time we talk to a caller this week, going to win a ham thanks to Farmland Foods! I want to hold your hand!

Enjoy that, alright? Yeah, cheers, thank you. Thank you for listening to the show, have a Merry Christmas, okay. Enjoy that, all right? Yeah, cheers. Thank you. Thank you for listening to the show. Have a Merry Christmas, okay? You too, guys. See you, buddy. Hey, doing Christmas traditions. Someone's texting,

I have a tradition where I pretend I'm not full enough, so I just keep eating for 12 hours. That's pretty much it. Let's go to Chris in Temaru. Welcome, Chris. How are you? G'day there, mate. How's things?

Oh, you crazy Christmas traditions. Chris, what have you got? Oh, ever since the kids have been little, we sit down and watch The Polar Express. Oh, good movie. Oh, yeah, that's a good movie. It's a beauty. Is that Tom Hanks?

Yeah, Tom Hanks. It's an animated movie, though, isn't it? But yeah, you're right. It's a good movie. Yeah, that goes away with the Christmas decorations every year. So when we put the tree up, it falls out. It goes straight into the old DVD player. Oh, what? DVD that lives on the tree, as such. put the tree up, it falls out and goes straight into the old DVD player. Oh, what?

DVD that lives on the tree, as such. It's that old, mate. We're still using the DVD player. Love it. Gee whiz, Christmas in the 90s for Chris. That is wonderful. It's a wild train ride, too, that Polar Express. Hey, Chris, hit the music, Juliet.

Biggie, biggie, biggie, can't you see? I want to win, you just phone me. You've got a free ham ham Thanks to Farmland Hams Alright Oh spot on boys Thank you Someone's texted in too Saying we've got a tradition

Of always wearing those Flimsy paper hats From the crackers They just don't They've got no No structure to them What's the point And everyone looks miserable in them

I know they're meant to bring the party But yeah Yeah you're right They don't suit anyone No Not even Justin Bieber or Kim Kardashian Could pull off a paper

You're right yeah Let's go one more really quickly They don't suit anyone. Not even Justin Bieber or Kim Kardashian could pull off a payback. You're right, yeah. Let's go one more really quickly. Mel, you're on from Te Puki. Hello, how are you this morning? Oh, listen, I'm doing well. You want a free ham? You can tell us your Christmas tradition.

Okay, so ever since my children have been born, and they're now 27 and nearly 29, I've done a Santa sack for them. And when they got older and they didn't need Santa sack stuff, we put things like toothpaste and hair gel and shampoo and sunscreen and stuff like that in there. So all the essentials that they need for summer. Oh, that's nice.

So when they're too old for actual Santa, you step in. That's great. Yeah, that's it. So, yeah, I still do that now. And now that the oldest is married with children, the daughter-in-law gets a Santa sack too. Oh, wow. Now, to be honest, Melanie, I know Santa's sack,

sometimes it does fall upon the parents for the present giving and the sack side of things. Did this just come one year when you were like, damn it, I haven't got them anything, and you were at the supermarket and you ended up getting practical items? Yes. Yeah, pretty much. Thanks to disorganisation, it became a tradition.

Yeah, it did. And so now it is a tradition that we still do. Oh, there you go. Even Santa for the adults. I love it. You can have a ham on us. That would be fantastic. Thank you so much.

That would be ham-tastic. There was that too, yes. Gee whiz, we've used up all our ham puns this week. I think it was the last one. It is the hits. You got Jono and Ben. Mmm, coffee and bread. Jono and Ben, the hits.

Listen, Ben Boyce, this show, it's just not all fun and games, is it? It was fun and games until someone lost an eye. And we apologise to one-eyed Wendy. But she was a good member of the team. She was a good member of the team. But sometimes we like to delve a little bit deeper, don't we? And I know a lot of people, the borders are open now, today. As of today, a lot of people will be travelling in their vehicles across the country. A lot of Aucklanders just spreading, just getting out there and spreading their legs.

A lot of Aucklanders probably sitting there as well in traffic, waiting to get through the borders too. Well, there were people waiting at the border last night for 11.59 to take over just so they could, boom, gun it. Get out of Auckland. Yeah, but as you mentioned, you said earlier before the show that a lot of people haven't seen their whānau, family, for a long time. So you can understand why. So yeah, there will be hordes of families in vehicles today. They said also too, sorry, just jump in here. If you are travelling, be prepared.

They're saying, you know, as far as drinks, snacks, something for the kids, if you've got kids in the car today, because you could be waiting in queues a lot longer than expected. A little bit of advice from the government. The government's even telling us how to pack. Well, no, I don't think it was for the government. Don't forget to take a bottle of water. Thanks, government. If it wasn't for you, I would have died of dehydration.

But one of the greatest moments, one of the greatest things about traveling with a family is you've got the parents up the front, you've got the kids in the back. And the kids in the back, they like to wind down the windows. But then what this creates up the front is an age-old problem. Your dad's done it, my dad's done it Where the dad is like

Put the windows up, I'm getting You know that wind noise I always thought it didn't exist Can you only really hear it from the front properly As far as I know, I've only ever heard it When I've been in the front two seats The two in the back, they're just getting wonderful wind flow There's a great tunnel going through there

But it feels like Tyson Fury himself Is punching your eardrums up the front. It does. It normally happens when your windows are closed at the front and the ones in the back are open. And back in the day when you had the windy window things, it was a lot harder for your dad or mum to kind of stop you from winding things up and down. And the process is always like, oh, I might be able to ride this out. You know, that's what you think up the front, but it's a slow builder. For some reason, it just gets to that point

where every parent screamed into the back, wind the bloody windows up. But I was driving home the other day, same thing happened. I said, did the wind the bloody windows up? And I was thinking, why is this even a thing? Why is this noise? How was it created? So I went in association with

my partner's google.com onto youtube.com and found this. That sound is created by the same phenomenon that causes an empty beer bottle to vibrate when you blow on the rim. When air hits the front of your car, it bounces off, creating little eddy currents. Put simply, when you roll down one window, those eddies push air into the cabin. The air inside the car has nowhere to go, and it gets pushed back out. When the timing of the air going in matches up with the air being pushed back out, you get resonance, also known as 14 to 30 hertz, the lowest bassiest sounds humans can hear. You are basically sitting inside of a giant subwoofer. It's called buffeting.

Right. That's the name of it. It's called buffeting. So it's basically, as the guy said, it's the lowest bass in air a human eardrum can actually process. And that's why it drives everyone absolutely bonkers. Gotcha. And it does, because when you wind down your window in the front a little bit, it does

seem to stop that sound, so I guess that's why he's saying that the ear can't get out you know, sort of. Wow! Yeah, really interesting. That's so random. I understood about 10% of what that guy said. Just pretend you understood it all. I was the same. Just pretend Ben, we're on a good, a little educational

for you. Don't pull the rug now baby. $5,000 up for grabs very shortly. Don't wind down the window too far. Five words, 5K, it is that. Five words for 5K on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It is our game of word association. We play it every morning on the hits.

Yesterday there was high drama because there was one of the first times we've had to call out the careless whisper rule, which can happen when someone's listening to one of us do the answers and they can't whisper anything over the phone line. It happened by accident yesterday, but that meant, sadly, there was no $5,000 given away. Sesame. Treat.

Oh, no! No! There's been a careless whisper. Oh no! No! There's been a careless whisper! Oh, Tracy! Oh no! High drama! Yeah, poor Tracy.

In prisons, snitches, they get stitches. In five words, whispers get politely hung up on. Yeah. That's as far as it goes. It's not that dangerous. It's a shame because we were matching quite well. You were four from five. That was a 50-51 too, but it's how it works in the game.

It happens. Yeah. Danny, let's get you on from Welly. How are you in the capital this morning? Hi, I'm good. How are you? Oh, good. Thank you very much.

It's great to have you listening. Looking forward to the break over Christmas? Oh, yeah, Thank you very much. It's great to have you listening. Looking forward to the break over Christmas? Oh, yeah, definitely. All right. Well, let's match words like a disgustingly cute couple would match outfits. Who do you want to send into the soundproof booth? Ben. Okay. What do you do, Danny, for a job? I'm a travel agent.

Oh, yeah. 5K would go towards what? Probably a trip to Queenstown with my whole family. Oh, that'd be nice. That'd be nice. Where are people travelling at the moment? What's the hot destination? Yeah, Queenstown. Yeah, is that the place to go, is it?

Yeah, definitely. Oh, good. Well, Danny, the travel agent from Wellington who wants to go to Queenstown, let's try and get you there. The first word that comes into your head when I say freedom. Writers.

Freedom what? Sorry, writers. Yeah. Listen, I'm going to help you out here, Danny. I don't think he's going to say that. We'll come back to... Oh, Jacinda. Oh, yeah.

That's not a bad one. It's not a bad one. Have a think about that one. We might leap back to that at the end, give you one more chance on freedom. Deodorant is the second word. Oh, fighters. Freedom fighters. That's another good follow-on.

Deodorant. Sweat. Melted. Chocolate. Picnic Bar Tail T-A-I-L Not as in tail, not as in arrest

Cat Cat, good work And you happy with freedom, Danny? Freedom fighters? Lockdown. Lockdown? You want to do lockdown? Fighters, yeah. You're going to lock in freedom fighters.

All right, let's unleash the boys. From the soundproof booth, we let them out like a mad dog, a rabies-laden pit bull. Ben Boyce, you really want some cash, you mad dog. Yeah, I'll try. I'll try my best. You're not a mad dog, eh? He's not a mad dog sort of person. Danny did pretty well.

Danny did pretty well. There's one word for me which I think could be the big hiccup, but you might fight your way through it, so to speak. So we'll leave that word to last. Okay. So I'm going to start with deodorant. First word that comes into your head, Ben, when I say deodorant. Sweat.

Ooh. Ooh. Melted. Chocolate. Oh, good. Picnic. Basket. Oh, good. Picnic. Basket. Oh, I was out.

Danny, what did you lock in for picnic? I said bar. Picnic bar. Yes. I just said chocolate. I should have been thinking chocolate. True, true. What was I thinking?

Tail. Tail. Jeez, that's opposite. Wind. Tail wind wind And freedom Was the first word Day Freedom day

No Danny locked in freedom fighters Listen it was a gallant effort Danny Sorry Danny But you do get a ham Oh yeah Yeah You do get a ham

And you get a fun ham parody song I wanna hold your ham I wanna hold your ham. I want to hold your ham. And Danny, you'll be holding our hams this Christmas. Thanks to Farmland Foods and Farmland Hams as well. We're giving away hams to everyone this week. Too much ham.

Yeah, a lot of hams. Another chance to win tomorrow. Same time, same place. It is the hits. Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. Right now, we're going to talk about some famous people.

And if they were in the room, they'd probably tell us, well, that's none of your business. Here's Spy with Juliet. So Russell Brand is celebrating 19 years of being sober, which is blimmin' awesome. He posted a video explaining. On the 13th of December, 2022, 2021, 2021 still is, I'd like to say thank you to all of you.

And I'd like to say to any of you that are suffering from addiction or know anyone that's suffering from addiction, there is a way out. It is possible. If someone is crazy and hopeless and lost, as I was, can become a father and a husband and a member of various communities committed to service and change, then there is hope for all of us. Very cool.

Since 2002, he's been sober? Yeah. Geez. Unreal, eh? I didn't even realise he had an addiction. Well, probably because it's mostly been most of my life that he has been sober, so... Here it is.

He's suffered from alcoholism and a debilitating addiction to heroin. Yeah. Good on him. Scary, eh? But so good that he's, like, actually gone addiction to heroin. Yeah. Good on him. Scary, eh? But so good that he's, like, actually gone nearly two decades. Yeah, and he's had a wonderful career, hasn't he?

I know. Russell Brand. Don't you worry about his career, mate. Don't you worry about that. Oh, yeah, no, I haven't spent much time worrying about Russell Brand's career. It's gone, he's fine. We've got to stop worrying about it.

Yeah, no, no. We've got to stop worrying about ours. Yeah, we've got other things to worry about. Brand's doing fine. He's doing fine. He's created a good brand for himself. But he was married to Katy Perry. He was.

Married or engaged? I think they were just engaged. I think they were just engaged, but they were kind of one of the Hollywood couples for a while. Have you seen the Katy Perry movie, Pardon Me? And there's a shot, I remember seeing, I'm watching the start of it. Oh, she's crying.

Yeah, she's crying. Now, there's problems in the relationship. I can't remember if they'd just broken up or something like that. She's crying. She's down the bottom of a stage. She's crying tears. And they're luring her up to start the concert as she's crying. And then she sort of has to transform into, like, show Katy Perry.

And you don't even notice. Small face. And then to perform for a crowd, sound like a crowd. You're like, oh, my goodness. What's going on behind the scenes? Yeah, I do remember that. Compared to what she's having to portray for a crowd sound like a crowd you're like oh my goodness what's going on behind the scenes compared to what she's having to

portray for her job and I remember seeing that scene and looking at her once she came on stage and you would not know that she had been crying moments before

really iconic little scene oh my gosh I remember that transition of going to work yeah where you have to kind of leave your problems behind

they're real people you know there's stuff going on behind the scenes you know I was at a concert and we were going oh god I think we're bad problems you know behind you know yeah they're real people you know there's stuff going on behind the scenes you know they're not just at concerts they're going

oh god thank you man Russell's moving his stuff out of the house yeah yeah here's uh

Kirsten Gould Kirsten Gould who was there California Gould yeah no you're right you did right and yesterday the

Golden Globes nominations were announced and they got Snoop Dogg to help with announcing some of the nominees but I think help with announcing some of the nominees. But I think his pronunciation of some of the names has possibly gone more

viral than the nominations themselves. Thank y'all so much. Good morning. Best performance by an actor in a supporting role in any motion picture. Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck. My fault. Sorry about that, Ben. Ben Affleck Ben Affleck my fault sorry about that Ben Ben Affleck

the tender bar Karan no Karen Hines Belfast work with me now so do we do a balake for Blake

yeah right of that video there's a good sketch on that. Key and Peele. It's very funny. But I think that they were announced quite early in the morning. And so B Humps was like, oh, maybe he probably just rolled out of bed. Well, he hadn't done a pre-read of the script.

No. You know, he's got into that situation. Boris Johnson was in the same situation a couple of weeks ago. We went on a weird Peppa Pig rant. Oh, yeah. Mid-speech. And he hadn't pre-read the speech that was in front of him either. Yeah, you fumble your

way through it. You think if there was a you know, you were announcing the Golden Globe winners might have just a quick peruse over the list before you. Just a quick one. But that kind of makes me love Snoop Dogg even more. I'm like, oh yes this is a wonderful little news story for me to tell on Spy. Also good to hear someone as disorganised

as us. Yeah, love it. Razine, your home of Kiwi-made paints and colours this summer, presents Jono and Ben's $10,000 Mystery Colour Mix. Guess what is inside the Razine paint tin in the studio. So far we know it is a summer-ish item. It's an item you'd take on a... Well, producer Bee Humps, you're the only one that knows this. You'd take it on a road trip, you'd take it away, you'd pack it

for summer? Yeah, you'd pack it for your summer holidays, exactly. You could use it all year round though? You could, yeah. There's no rules. There's no rules. You're not the boss of me. Would I pack it on a winter holiday? You could do, yeah. Right, so it's not a

summer item as such? Yeah, not as such. But it would definitely be in the suitcase for summer, your summer holiday. You can't beat it on a good day was another clue. I don't know what that means. We're thinking maybe Wellington related, but we're not entirely sure. Yeah, $7,100 we have left. We started with $10,000.

Every incorrect guess, $100 comes off the prize pool. And the other clue was you throw it away once you're done with it. Okay. Let's go to Jodie. Welcome. You're on the air. You're in Albany and you're about to win $7,100 thanks to Razine with what, Jodie? Okay.

Is it a mini portable fan? Ooh, you do pack it. That's a good guess. Well, I've never packed a portable fan to go with. But you could for summer. You could. Windy. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Wellington. Windy city. Yes, Jodie. I see where you're coming from. I see dem angles. You're hitting dem angles, Jodie. I like this. I like this.

Show her the money. Show her the money, Bee Humps. Yeah, Bee Humps. Has she got the money? It's not, unfortunately. Oh, butter. But you do win a free ham thanks to Farmland Foods. Oh, that's great.

That's great. It's not $7,000, but it's an amazing ham, so there you go. It'll work. Thank you. Yeah, exactly. Good on you, Jodie. Appreciate it. We'll get Lizzie on from Picton.

Welcome, Lizzie and Picton. This is the first time I think we've spoken to any listeners in Picton. Oh, well, we listen to you all the time. Oh, well, it's great to have you on, Lizzie. It's a paint-by-numbers competition. Unfortunately, those

numbers are decreasing as each guest goes to air. But what do you reckon is inside the Rosine paint tin? Okay, so I would think it would be perhaps

a Bic lighter so that you can light your barbecue. Oh, Lizzie. Surely. Explain to me. Don't shake that too hard.

It could explode. Oh, yeah, GC. Unfortunately not, Lizzie. I'm shake that too hard it could explode unfortunately not Lizzie I'm looking forward to the ham I haven't bought a turkey or a ham and I'm just

sort of being holding off and holding off so I'm really excited about that well Lizzie can we play your little song

you're going to enjoy the ham alright lovely bye bye thank you so much for listening appreciate you listening wherever you're listening all over the country can we do one more yeah we'll do one more we'll go to Hayley Can't you see I want to win Just for me Enjoy that, Razine Great, yeah

Can we do one more? Yeah, we'll do one more We'll go to Hayley Our old mate in the Waikato Welcome, Hayley Oh, good morning, guys Good to have you on What's your guess

For the Razine tin? Um, I'm sort of Gone away Yeah, I was thinking Maybe an ice cream scoop Oh Mouldy ice cream scoop The old rolled ice cream

scoop spoon. Yeah. Is that what you mean? Yeah. Is that inside the resin painting? Seven, or 6,900 up for grabs right now. Unfortunately not, Hayley, sorry. Strike it off the list. Listen,

I'm going to go out on a, Hayley, guess what, we'll send you a ham though, okay? Oh, thank you guys. Thanks to Farmland Foods. Now, I'm going to go out on a haze. Hayley, guess what? We'll send you a ham, though, okay? Oh, thank you, guys. Enjoy that. Thanks to Farmland Foods. Now, Bee Humps, can I be so bold to maybe present a clue? Should we get a clue? $500 will pay for this. Are we willing to knock $500 off $6,000?

Yeah, I think we'd do it. What would this leave the total at if we spent $500 on a clue? We'd be down to $6,400. $6,400. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of cash. And I feel like we'll really narrow it down to... Okay.

Are we all in favour of a clue? Yeah, I think so. Okay, true? Yeah, I am. All right, here we go. It's Flash. I've got it. It's Flash.

You reckon you've got it? Yeah. I think I might do as I... If I mailed it to you, do you think it's the same? You think it's a flash you reckon you've got it yeah I think I might do if I mouth it to you do you think it's the same you think it's that yeah I thought it was I potentially thought

it could be that as well no it's not what you think I don't think so mouth what you think it is to me it's like hey

you guys can do this off air it's not good radio you guys can do this we're going to play a song we've got Chris Hipkins joining us he's one of the quotes of the year for spread your legs do this. We're going to play a song. We've got Chris Hipkins joining us. He's one of the quotes of the year for spread your legs up against us.

We're going to start some beef with Chris Hipkins. Actually, we're not. We're going to have a polite conversation with Chris Hipkins next. It is the hits. You've got John Owen Ben. John Owen Ben, breakfast on the hits. Hey, tomorrow I'm going to be listening from about 8 o'clock to Michael Bublé's It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas in the hope that Michael Bublé will hear about it and he will video call us.

He will Zoom us and then I'll be able to stop and we'll get to chat to Michael Bublé. Is it wrong there's a large part of me hoping that he doesn't? Yeah, I can see that. Not a large part, almost all of my parts. For comedy reasons, I feel like. Every part you think of a part of my body is hoping he doesn't reach out. You can see it's my funny. But we're just reflecting.

We've been, you know, we've been lucky enough to talk to some pretty cool people this year, haven't we? Yeah, that's right. And to prior Boyce Productions presents Moments We Would Rather Forget from a year we would rather forget. We have spoken to a few high-fluting schlebs, Ben Boyce, you're right. Yeah, Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt. I've got a tattoo, you know, to say I heart Dwayne Johnson. There's a common theme here of you just trying to get the attention of celebrities to fill some sort of empty void in your life.

Yeah, and it works because they had not only heard about the tattoo, but he had a video, Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, had a video of my bottom and tattoo on his phone that he'd sent to Emily Blunt. Show them the cheek. I'll show you the cheek. Let me see it. Put your pants down. Show them the cheek. I'll show you the cheek. Let me see the tattoo. Put your pants down. Oh, my God!

There you go. I wonder if he's deleted that off his photo stream yet. Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Also, Steven Spielberg, acclaimed director, too, spoke to him. Well, I toast you, and, you know, great meeting you guys. I've heard about you. Your reputations have gone all the way here to Los Angeles. i'm really happy to meet you for the first time oh that's lovely i don't know if you're making that up or not but we haven't got time to ask you

he's like yeah i know who you guys are i mean and we're like oh i wonder how he heard about you we vaguely we vaguely know who he is so you know yeah Sven? Yeah, anyway, one of our favourites to catch up with is Ed Sheeran and we got him to enter a karaoke competition in Porirua

at Legends Sports Bar. See if he would have the chops to enter the Thursday night comp and so we called Wellington. Hello, Legends Sports Bar.

I'm speaking. Oh, Legends Sports Bar. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. How are you doing? Oh, hey. I'm good, thank you. Now, you guys have a karaoke competition, we understand.

We do, we do. Now, we've got a dear friend of ours. He's a bit nervous about entering, and he's like, I'm not sure if I've got the chops to enter. So we have him here. His name is Edward, and we're just wondering if he could audition. You just say whether he could make it into the comp if he'd make the count Absolutely. Okay, alright over to you

Ed. So honey now take me into your loving arms kiss me under the light of a thousand stars place your head on my beating heart I'm thinking out loud maybe

we found love right where we are. Wow. What do you think? That was a really good attempt. But I'm pretty sure the participants surely give you a run for your money. Oh, a run for your money. I wrote the song. This is Ed Sheeran.

Really? Yes. It legitimately is but thanks thanks for your confidence what would he win if he

well it doesn't sound like he's going to win but what would he win well we have everything from bar turds and even some little gift packs

that we give to our participants even for trying and things like that oh you get one for trying you yeah I would love I would love a participation break.

Absolutely. I'm sure we can arrange something. I love it. There you go, Ed Sheeran. Now we're going to be back tomorrow on the program from 6 o'clock. Looking forward to being boys listening to Michael Bublé on repeat. And hopefully we will give away $6,300 with what's inside the Resine paint tin. You think you've actually worked it out?

Well, I said it to Juliet. We're both on the same wavelength. Whether it's the correct answer or not. We'll find out tomorrow. Have yourself a great Wednesday. We'll catch you tomorrow from 6. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Brought to you by Rosene, New Zealand's most trusted paint. Kiwi-made since 1946.