Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Hidden Voice Memos: Pee and Khloe Kardashian!

Episode Date: December 25, 2024

In Hidden Voice Memos, we’re digging through the archives of our most embarrassing voice notes. In this chaotic episode, Ben relives the moment a monkey peed on his wife (yes, really), Jono spills the bizarre details of his childhood habit of peeing on other kids, and Megan shares the behind-the-scenes scoop of her unforgettable encounter with Khloé Kardashian!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This John O'Bien podcast brought to you by HelloFresh, the experts and tastes that Kiwis love. We'll get it one of these days. I feel like we need a proper intro for this. I just went, ah! Yeah, this is the You're The Voice memo where we're trying to clear some space in the new year from our phones. I feel like there's one period of my voice memos where I obviously have cleared a lot of space. It just jumps by a couple of years. Oh, yeah.

In a productive time. Yeah, I must have gone, you know what, I'm going to clear out the voice space. It just jumps by a couple of years. Oh, yeah. In a productive time. Yeah, I must have gone, you know what? I'm going to clear out the voice memo. It sounds like you. And then I obviously haven't gone back to it. So this is what this is all about. We get to each play a voice recording on our phones, and then we get to delete it afterwards.

Okay, so this, I'm just going to plug this one in. It just says monkey. Hopefully when I hear it, it'll bring back some fond memories. I actually know this. Oh, wow. That's at the zoo. The Orangutans? Is it?

I've just labelled it monkey. I can't. Is it the one that swing across that cool section there at the zoo? The gibbons Oh it might be the gibbons With the big throats They dangle on top of you now with big power pylons

Really amazing I remember going to the zoo once and or was it you telling this I can't remember if it was me or you. You got peed on. I got peed on. Yes, you. I got peed on by my dad.

Oh, it might have been Jono peeing on me. We've heard about Jono peeing on people recently. I've been accused of peeing on people from treetops. I was a young, so the timeline could always work out. When he was a kid, he used to pee on people. But you stopped just then to say, I got peed on by my dad, and then we stopped. No, it wasn't my dad. My dad got me and my sister to take a photo.

He's like, stand up. The Wellington Zoo, remember it vividly. Stand up next to where the monkeys are behind. And then one of the monkeys, I felt this warm thing on my neck. Oh, my God, it was peeing on your neck. It was peeing on me, yeah. Great move by the monkey, though. For a monkey in captivity, that's the only joy they get, really.

Oh, my God. Sorry, I don't remember that. I remember quite a stench. I imagine, too, yeah. I was like, oh, well, hey. How far through the zoo day were you? I think we're probably early on, too, which is not ideal zoo conditions. No.

It's like, drink some water, monkey. Yeah, but Jono was a prolific pair of people on people with lids. Now, see, if you don't know the backstory, I bumped into a primary school friend a couple of weeks ago, actually, and he said, do you remember peeing on me from a tree? He's like, you probably don't remember. I was like, I have no, really, zero recollection. He's like, ask your mum, Annie.

So we called Annie live on the radio to see if she'd corroborate his story. She said, well, I can't remember Cameron's story, that's his name, but you did pee on your cousin Nicola From a tree Again from a tree Yeah so the tree pee Pee on one Yeah I can't believe you Can you believe you peed on people from a tree

I don't know But I was thinking about this over the weekend It's really sat with me How does that work Because I need two hands to hold onto the tree So am I going You brought one hand up Well you don't need two hands.

You can take one hand off. But that's just standing on a branch. Imagine you're standing on a branch, you're holding up like that. I don't imagine you're wrapped around a tree. I imagine you're standing on one of those big branches. And I'm like, look at this. Yeah, being on down the... Just a show off, eh?

What a knob. Is it offensive that I'm not that surprised? No, I'm not surprised either. Like, out of all the people that would potentially as a kid... But also the aim for that. Like, if I'm up high, you know, there's branches that get in...

Don't try and make it cool. I just don't see how it happened. I don't... Well, it certainly happened. Your cousin Nicola says... Otherwise, two people, separate people, they have...

Accused me of the same... And your mum has gone... Your mum has not... She can't verify one story, but she's got another one. Yeah. I mean, things are... Hey, verify one story, but she's got another one. Yeah. I mean, things don't look good for me at the moment.

How many other people out there? One of those Hollywood scandals where more and more people come forward. I got peed on by John O'Toole on a tree. I didn't want to admit it first, but here we go. I hope you've grown out of it. The tree peer. I would actually like to take you two and we reenact it and I will show you how physically impossible it would be to do. I don't think it's impossible.

Banks not. Just takes a lot of risk associated with that. Don't make it sound like you're saying it's an extreme sport or something. You can stand on a branch and still pee down to people on the ground too. It's a bit of a watery defense but this is impressive you're not tom cruise in mission impossible whereas later stunt he's gonna pee on someone from a tree all right who wants to plug this into the dongle look i've gone here and i know what this one is and this gives me great joy

um and this hopefully my wife won't hear this. Okay. So this is Ben's voice memo. We're clearing. I can clear the monkeys off. This is Amanda, my wife. Now, she loves to laugh. And there's a show that she loves most of all. Out of all the shows, I've never heard her laugh as much as when she's watching Mr. Bean. If you think of anyone who would love Mr. Bean, no one could love Mr. Bean more than Amanda.

We were watching as a family. We were like, oh, my goodness. She just loves Mr. Bean. And, no one could love Mr. Bean more than Amanda. We were watching as a family. We were like, oh, my goodness. She just loves Mr. Bean. And this is her. That explains so much. What do you say? Do you think he looks like Mr. Bean? I don't.

He kind of looks like a young Rowan Atkinson. Okay, so this is Amanda, my wife. Genuine laugh. Just like no TV radio show that I have ever done, no joke have I ever done ever ever got this reaction from amanda my wife have a listen oh sorry oh sorry Is she banging something? Sounds a little bit Gibbon-ish, doesn't it? Two.

She just loves Mr Bean. I think there's more. There's just like her just loving it. You've got a whole library of Mr Bean reactions. I'm guessing she's probably seen that before as well. Oh, yeah, totally. It's not the first time she's seen it. I think it might have... I'm not doing a good job of not laughing.

She loves Mr Bean. You know this is going on the radio again, eh? He's just so funny You're crying enough He's very physical in his comedy, isn't he, Mr Bean? Yeah, he'd pee on people from a tree, wouldn't he? He'd get a good laugh Yeah, but yeah, Mr Bean, she just loves it Yeah, so that's, yeah, she doesn't like, she's like

I sound like a witch cackling away, but she loves it Yeah, she loves Mr Bean, she just loves it. She doesn't like, she's like, I sound like a witch cackling away, but she loves it. She loves Mr Bean. Well, hey, he's had a great career. He's great. You're right. For someone who doesn't say anything, it's pretty incredible, the comedy. To pull the laughs like that. There's nothing better than hearing someone really laugh.

Like a genuine laugh. Like really enjoy themselves. Last time watching anything, I've genuinely laughed like that. Oh, you've been? Can you admit that hard? Yeah, all the time. When?

Probably yesterday. Did you? Yeah, find things funny all the time. Plug your dongle in mate. Maybe it's too much

radio over the years of pretending to laugh at stuff. The love of laughter. I set my bar low I think. Yeah, okay,

so we're plugging in Megan's phone to clear something from her voice memos. Which one do you want me to play, mate? Chloe 1? Yeah. Is this Chloe Kardashian? It is.

Is it? I actually can't remember how this interview went. She was the lead with the monkey, isn't she? This is the headliner. Yeah, we should have started with the zoo thing, then we went to Mr Bean, and now we're going to Chloe Kardashian. This was when I walked into a hotel room and they were filming for the show. Oh, really?

Yeah. There's a lot of people there that you have to go through. Hi. I'm good. How are you? Good. Everyone's got these crews and it's just me from New Zealand. Oh, no.

I like just you. She likes just me. It was nice. It was a nice thing for a thing. Nice friendly start. And you have to sign all these pieces of paper before you go in. You said everyone had big crews and stuff, was it just you turning up with a phone? Yeah. Is that how you record the interview, just on the phone?

Yep. Not a good look for New Zealand? No. No, but they had a camera set up and they gave you that footage too, but it was just me. And I was like like what's it like sitting in the room with the Kardashian

she is one of those people you see in magazines on TV but then you suddenly get to see them and you know she's way taller than me

her butt was big I hope you didn't say that to her this was like Chloe of like 15 years ago and she was tiny then she was tiny

like her waist was tiny but like she was so kind to me because her and her best friend malika were there and they asked me malika was ordering room service and she asked me if i wanted anything oh nice come out of my time if i was like okay they were getting soup and i was like my people oh you love a soup don't you love a soup but mind you that would suck up valuable time you get get back to the radio station. How's the interview? The soup was great. Follow trends, but in moderation.

You still have to dress best for your body style. Do you not like jumpsuits? Do you know what? If I'm honest, every time I've tried one on, they're like, give me a Ouija. Yeah. I think because you need, it's like too short of a torso for you. Just kidding. You're getting a fashion advice.

Fashion advice. Fashion advice on how to avoid a camel toe. Because I'm so long or tall. And so I feel that way too will be a little short in like the crotch area. So I buy a size bigger and I might tailor it. What is it like working with your sisters? At first we would fight a lot. But now we definitely know our strong points and who's better at what, and we kind of let that person take the reins in that area.

So definitely with age comes maturity and we're definitely learning our roles, but, um, or we've learned our roles and I love it. I could not work with someone else. Cause you can't be as honest with someone else as you can with your sisters. So for us, it works in our favor. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for talking to us. Um, all the way from new

zealand there were so many people that were like say hi to her just say the whole country says hi oh and hopefully you get to come down under soon she's in new zealand she knows we exist that's all you want you always want to know these celebrities know she was very that's very cool what a cool experience even off camera she was very kind out of 10 your experience with chloe kardashian 10 no complaints no. That's very cool. What a cool experience. Even off camera, she was very kind to me. Out of 10, your experience with Khloe Kardashian? 10. No complaints. No complaints.

That's very cool. Terrified, but she was lovely. Yeah. Did you have to show your moose knuckle to her when you were talking about it? How did you get into the camel toe conversation? They had these jumpsuits in their fashion line or something. Oh, I see. And then we started talking about camel toe suits.

Yeah. Oh, very cool. There we go. That's another edition of us clearing our voice memos. We'll be back again tomorrow with three more random bits of audio on... Memo! Hey!