Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Highlights: Jono Judged A Speech Competition...

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

Jono judged his old school speech comp Why was Ben hanging around a mall.. Madonna is sick :( See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. I was asked to judge a speech competition at a school yesterday, Ben. Now, I can barely speak, let alone judge other people speaking. Well, you've done a lot of public speaking, in fairness. You've stood up in front of a lot of people over the years. Yeah, but what I realise is it doesn't, you know, well-crafted speeches. I don't know what happened to speeches, i remember when you and me are at school you bloody capture some

praying mantis put some glad wrap over the top of the jar rubber band go on in and say oh this is a praying mantis that i caught it's got minimal amount of oxygen flow with some pins i put on would you do that sort of thing for a speech yeah that was that was a speech when i was nowadays gee i tell you what they're uh sounds like a science fair project what you're describing maybe that's why everybody sounds like i was like i've never had a history of speech competition in the school of career ever seen anyone go go this is a that feels like show and tell or something like that maybe maybe i missed the memo yeah maybe but hey i don't know i didn't go to the same school as you well i failed the speech competition but uh yeah geez they were they were very all great six speeches that were fantastic

you know the future of ai uh all this how we can save the planet and the ocean and things like that but i'm like half time they had some kid playing a concert on the piano wow it was like listening to bloody Beethoven. A 10-minute piano piece. And then you get to the end and then you have to pick winners. Now this is where you and me, we... I don't like the judging part of judging. No, that's a tough part, isn't it? Because when people have been all amazing,

it's really hard to go, well, this one is slightly better than the other. They're all incredible, yeah. And then the principal's like, you know what I don't like? I don't like equals. I don't like first equals, second equals. I like clear winners. Oh, so you've got to give clear winners. So they know you've had the acid put on from the leadership team as well.

Was there other judges with you? Yeah, there was. But so it wasn't all on you, I guess. Yeah, there's a wonderful guy, Mark, whose company is teaching people how to public speak. So I lent on him a lot. Mark, you read these results out. Decision-making stuff.

Yeah, but it was at my old school, actually read these for lots of... The decision-making stuff. Yeah. Yeah, but it was at my old school, actually. The primary version of St. Kendigan's. Yeah, gotcha. Now, I've never been asked back for an inspirational speech at the college version.

They've never publicly acknowledged my existence. You've got to judge inspirational speeches, so that's close enough. Yeah, but I didn't go to the primary version. I saw this as a stepping stone

to maybe get my inspirational speech to the kids. You know, some great... All blacks have gone to that school and that sort of stuff. A lot of people, yeah. Yeah, they've never gone, come and inspire the kids. Look at this. I scream inspiration, Ben.

You're looking at me right now. Every morning you do. Dressed like a homeless man out of a clothing bin. Well, maybe next year as well. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Cirque du Soleil back in New Zealand. It's been in Christchurch and now coming to Auckland as well next week. Great for the school holidays. It's called Cirque du Soleil back in New Zealand. It's been in Christchurch and now coming to Auckland as well next week. Great for the school holidays. It's called

Cirque du Soleil Crystal. All the tickets you can get from ticketmaster.co.nz and it's all performed on ice this time, which seems wild. And if you want to tell us your favourite thing to add ice to, you can win yourself a double pass. 4487 on the text so far. We've had ice bath, rum and

coke, coffee, lemon jello, they're all coming through. But Christine from the team at Cirque du Soleil Crystal joins us. Thanks for hanging out. Thank you so much for having me. Now Cirque du Soleil Crystal, but we've got Cirque du Soleil Christine with us right now to tell us about

Cirque du Soleil Crystal. So Cirque du Soleil Crystal is Cirque du Soleil's first show on ice. So it's the acrobatics that we've become known for worldwide, that people know and love, but it's added with the extra element of the ice. I was going to say, I've been to Cirque du Soleil before. It's incredible, right? It really is.

And it seems like ice is an unnecessary hazard you're adding to the performance. Well, you know, Cirque du Soleil loves to push the boundaries of creativity. So they saw the ice and they thought, why not? I've seen some clips online. You've got basically speed skaters. You've got people doing backflips on ice. You've got people balancing chairs and they get up the top of the chairs. Now, all this is happening on ice.

Oh, geez, the bloody insurance policy must be a nightmare for Cirque du Soleil. I mean, we have shows around the world and we are very grateful to be able to do what we're doing um so you know it takes a certain kind of person to be able to to travel and to do this every day so there's 97 people on tour 44 were our artists and the rest of us are support staff uh we come from i think 27 different countries and we speak 21 different languages collectively on tour um but we all speak english to each other um it's honestly like traveling with like a un sort of circus you kind of meet people from all over around the world do the artists because they know what they're doing you know they're like oh i've got to you know juggle fire with my toes or

whatever i know what to do do they have to still rehearse and try and practice we do so at least once a week we have something called validation day where we'll validate all the acrobatic acts so just making sure that it's safe before we actually have the show uh so they spend the morning doing that and then once they're ready to go they basically validate and make sure that the safety checks are all good um and yes there's lots of training involved even though they're doing you know nine ten shows a week uh they still have to train, still need to make sure that the show looks great consistently night after night. Cirque du Soleil's Crystal, it's going to be in Spark Arena from next week. Great for the school holidays, Tuesday, July 4th to July 9th.

It's been in Christchurch as well. Now, I've been to Spark Arena, you know, many times, and there's never been ice in there before. So how does that work? Like, do you have to turn the temperature down really cold or you bring the ice? I mean, what happens? How do you get ice in an arena? You know what?

Yeah, I mean, we bring our own ice. We have an incredible ice team that travels with us as well that sets up something called Tank Ice, which is, it's real ice, but it's artificially made. So being able to travel the world with an ice show means that we need to have the capability of doing that because sometimes we go to places that don't quite have the temperatures to sustain it. But it's a whole science that goes into it.

She didn't have to come here with your own ice makers. There's people making ice out west. Different sort. You know, you freeze it, does it? It gets cold, you know? Yeah. I mean, is it the kind of ice that they can do flips and acrobatics on, or is it kind of the kind of ice for sort of playing and having fun?

We've got those things at the petrol stations too, those big chests. Oh, you can buy bags of ice at the gas station or something like that. That's incredible. This is Cirque du Soleil at the end of the day. I was reading about a former British gymnastics person there who performs and saying, every night I drop headfirst towards the ice and someone catches me and that's like a huge amount of trust for your work mate yes uh that artist Emily McCarthy is incredible she's been dropped headfirst on the ice for about five years and counting

well and never and never dropped actually never dropped always caught been very very very lucky and being very safe it is a big trust relationship between her and the person that captures her yeah geez you don't want to have a barney with them before the show starts do you well make sure because what we like to do when there's any event on at spark arena make sure you get the team to do this as a tradition okay you ready okay one two three ben You ready? Okay. One, two, three, Ben. Hey, Spock Arena. Okay. You know what?

I'm going to do that. Are you familiar with the Macarena? The Macarena song from a few years ago. Of course I do, but I think I need to hear you guys do it one more time. Okay. So what we've done is we've changed it from Macarena to Spock Arena. Okay. One, two, three. Hey, Spock Arena.

I love it. There you go. Oh, I love the fact that you're in New Zealand. Thank you for bringing your show here. It looks incredible. If you need a couple of clowns that can't do any artistic stuff whatsoever, you hit us up, all right? You're hired, yes.

We'll see you there. That's Christine from Cirque du Soleil. Crystal running next week in Auckland for the school holidays on ice. You can get your tickets from T ticketmaster.co.nz. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Over the weekend, I went to the mall

with my daughters and I do, I love the mall. I do love the mall and I think, I was thinking about it over the weekend, it's because I was from Masterton

and going to the mall was such a big thing because we didn't have a mall. So if you had to go to Palmerston North or the hut to go to the mall and that was,

I was wowed by the mall as a kid Bamboozled by the bright lights of the Palmerston North mall I know I find there's a time limit for me though I don't mind going but I'm like you're set that's at 35 minutes

Oh see we'll go all the time we'll just go we'll just go to the mall What's the most amount of time you've spent in a mall? How many hours? A couple of hours we've probably spent at least an hour

sort of going around. My kids really like it, but they've gone from that age where it was toy shops and stuff now because they're sort of tweens and into their teens. They've gone to the next stage of shopping. So I was hanging out with them in the weekend. Vaping. Vape shops. Not in front of me.

But they're going to like Glassons or JJ's or going to farmers to try the moisturizer. And that's cool. I can kind of hang out with them and do their thing. But what I've noticed. Your face is looking very moistened. Thank you. Thank you. I was hoping you'd notice.

Most of it is moisture pumping out of that skin. But I was thinking about it in the weekend while I was hanging out with my daughters. It's kind of like that ad. Do you remember the ad for, I think it was for Trumpet, but about the undies, undies, togs. You know, and when the guy was wearing the speedos when you could see the water they were togs but when you couldn't see the water they were suddenly underpants and i was thinking it was the same when i'm in glasses with my kids and you can see the kids no not my underpants where's his headache but when i'm in glasses with my kids and you can see the kids everyone's like oh that's

great that's cute oh that's nice he's with this kid but as soon as you can't see me and the kids together, they go try some stuff on, suddenly you're the creep walking around in glasses, instantly, just like that. You can tell the CCTV cameras are just keeping an eye on you. And it's just like moments ago, my kids, they were with me. I was the cute guy. Yeah, I was the guy.

I was the guy, oh, that guy, he's out there with his kids, whatever, but suddenly they're in there, and everyone's looking at me going, can help you you know that sort of reaction you know and i'm like well and then the worst thing is when you're waiting for people in a changing room yes yeah can i help you you're like no i'm just waiting for someone and then you know what that sentence means yeah what are you doing here you sleazeball and you don't want to pull out your because normally your phone is a good distraction you're not looking at not looking at your phone but you don't want your phone in that situation because a phone... I guess where's

when you slide it under the doors? I think you pushed the boundary a little bit there. I had a similar situation where I had to go shopping for some brassieres for my wife. I was like I'll go to farmers and I'll buy them. But I was alone.

Lone wolf in the lingerie section here we go and i had to because i didn't know what i was you know sizing or how it was all working so i ended up facetiming so i'm filming the lingerie just tell the story to the police mate i don't need your explanation i just need you to be my alibi. Yeah, yeah. And back it up. FaceTime me, which was weird. What do you think of these? No. No, but yeah, I found that very lonely in that situation. And I've got a can I help you.

And I understand why I've got a can I help you. If I'm filming in an lingerie section. You know, even as I say it out loud now, it doesn't sound good. A lot of questions, that's for sure. Spilling the tea on Hollywood's A-listers. Kardashians. I have met every single one. Exposing scandals.

She's not a good person, but either is he. Digging the dirt. Is she a diva? Yes. And finding out what's going on behind the scenes. Yelling at cast members. Yes. It was a script.

No. His identity is a secret. But his stories have been proven right time and time again This is Enty Alright, he comes to us from Hollywood where the faces don't move but his lips do Enty That's a good one And sometimes the lips don't move either

Yeah Now Lady Gaga I was following your Instagram account, Enty You said she's pushed the boat out a little too far on the plastic surgery And her face can't move. Yeah, but this is kind of standard for Lady Gaga. She does this with the fillers and she goes overboard. She's afraid of getting old and she's doing the whole actress thing. I think that that's what it is, is the fact that it's about the acting more than anything else. And also, you know, she looks at her role model like Madonna. Madonna has overdone it to a horrible extent.

And, you know, there's very few actresses who have really, really good plastic surgery. I was going to ask you. So most, let's just say, most actors, actresses, musicians, most of them would have had plastic surgery, right? Or Botox of some sort. Not necessarily musicians. Not necessarily musicians. Lady Gaga, I think female musicians,

because remember Madonna also wanted to act. And so I think if people, if there's any kind of acting or modeling or something like that, then you will see it. Like you can tell with like Gwen Stefani. I saw a photo of Gwen Stefani. You wouldn't wouldn't recognize her now no you won't at all and it's because of all the work that she said had done however she has a good plastic surgeon to me more has a really good plastic surgeon but then there's some that i don't know for whatever reason maybe they heard

something oh this guy's supposed to be good or whatever no take you know before you go to a plastic surgeon celebrity look at other celebrities and go, God, I can't even tell they had any work done. I really need to find out where they went. Kardashians must have a gun, plastic surgeon. You know, according to the Kardashians, none of them have had plastic surgery.

Well, geez, I mean, there's a fine line, isn't it, between looking natural and looking like someone's asked to see all of your internet history. Were you looking permanently surprised i could do a couple of jabs here and there chuck some poly filler in these cracks on my forehead i'm lathering i'm lathering that uh anti i always get bought uh for christmas anti-aging moisturizer for fine lines and wrinkles and i tell you what the anti-aging moisturizer i think is starting to question its uh question its promise oh you know some of them work really well um but the thing is

that's the other thing like celebrities i remember chrissy teigen one of her pregnancies she was like oh my gosh you guys i use this stretch marks cream or whatever to keep them away and and it was 400 dollars an ounce jeez so i know so it's like okay great it's fantastic that you're able to do that But you know it's like Why are you shilling to people $400 an ounce stuff It just And then you want to come across as being relatable

To people $400 an ounce We all get to pick one part of our body we'd get plastic surgery on I'm going to go with my pectorals I get the finely chiseled pecs. I'm going to go with my pectorals. I'll get the finely chiseled pecs. What are you going to go, Ben? Oh, well, I mean, yeah, abs would be great.

Abs. Yeah. How about you, Enty? I'll probably do the whole pec thing. I get all my moves going. Yeah, pecs and abs. We're going to have some wonderful cores. Enty, always a pleasure, never a chore, and we'll catch you soon.

All right, talk to you guys soon.