Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - How a d*ck pick went bad...

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's Wild Wild Web!  On this edition we talk all about d*cks, after a lady gets revenge over an unsolicited d*ck pick...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this episode of the Wild Wild Web, a lady got revenge on someone who sent her a picture that he'll definitely be regretting sending. Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's wide web. A swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle, Jono and Vienna are your fearless guides. Leading you through the wildest parts of the wild, wild web. This is the wild, wild web. The wild, wild stories from the wild, wild web. Real stories that have captured our attention.

Now this one is a lady got sent an unsolicited dick pic,-hmm basically to someone she got seen and now the the person this I don't know why people do this anyway they seem to slim to a DM so just like taking taking a photo and throwing it out there taking the gamble so this is what well this guy in the neat I think cause himself mr. lay I was something of all caught himself a ladies man she said he sent me cost possibly one of the worst dick pics I have seen seen. So she's obviously seen a few of them. He went to a bit of effort. He scribbled happy birthday on a piece of paper and poked two small eye holes out and

one larger hole and then stuck his penis through the larger hole to act like a nose. Creative. Love it. And also taking a gamble on the birthday too. You don't know if it's going to be that person's birthday. Now she apparently, she responds back to a lot of people and will sometimes share her responses. Right. And her response is back.

What she did to this, this guy sent a stick back, which no one is standing behind. Anyway, she sent back, Megan, should we do a bit of role play? Okay. Okay. I could be the guy. Here we go.

And so I've sent the picture and I put happy birthday on. And then this is how she responded in the DMs. Greg, I have a degree in dermatology. I've seen these. Oh, sorry, sorry. Let's stop there. Greg. Sorry.

Take two. Take two. Take two. I thought the role play was going to work. Why don't you just do a little bit of rehearsing first and then we'll go to. Okay. So Greg, I've sent a picture. I've put my thing through a piece of paper.

Anyway, send it away. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Greg, mate, that's great and I appreciate the effort, but I'm distracted by what appears to be a dangerous red mark on your stomach. And then he replied with, what?

It looks tiny. Probably a small spot or rubbing against my clothes. She replied, Greg, I have a degree in dermatology. I've seen these before in that position and it's often a sign of something more serious. And then he replied, what do you mean in that position? It's just a spot. It doesn't itch. I've never noticed before in that position and it's often a sign of something more serious and then he replied what do you mean in that position

it's just a spot it doesn't itch I've never noticed it before how can a spot be serious you've never had spots before it doesn't itch oh shit okay stay calm for now

why is that bad it doesn't itch don't understand itching is a bad thing it's just a spot I was calm you're not making me calm has he still got his dick out

at this point I don't know so basically he's replied back she convinced him that he was going to die with a mole with a mole because they always say

if it doesn't itch that's a bad thing like itching means it's like you know pretty alright obviously freaked out she told him to stay calm oh there's more

if you want to keep going it's quite a long play we'll save it for the second half it's half time but they keep going as well and he keeps saying I'm feeling fine. You've explained everything.

So he's the end of the day. From an innocent, well, maybe a not so innocent picture of his genitals, he's ended up thinking he's cancerous. There's even this response right at the end of their correspondence. Look, I've shown my cousin the pictures, as you really stressed me out earlier. We're not an expert like you, but she agrees with me. We can't see anything, especially in the second picture. Oh, no, that's me.

That's me. I thought she was ready. She can't see anything. I'm like, where did your dick go? Yeah, so he's gone. Sorry, I've gone and shown my cousin. This is a really sloppy reenactment, guys. It's a press rehearsal.

I don't know. Wait, he's shown his cousin what? I don't know if we'll be taking this one to the RTS. You know what I mean? Maybe. If you rehearse it, learn it. You might be able to. Well, it was impromptu. We hadn't planned it.

He gave it to me like it was my bit. Improv, improv. Doesn't always land. I was pointing at that like it was your bit. And I was like, do it. And then I went. So he then shows the picture to his cousin. Yeah, yeah, sorry.

That wasn't you. I showed it. But she's not replying, right? She's just left him now. Yeah, so she's left him as well. She's dropped the grenade and left. Love it. But she's not replying, right? She's just left him now. Yeah, so she's left him as well. She's dropped the grenade and left. Love it. So that's what happens, but she's also put it out on social

media as well. How do I say this nicely? He also, like you can't see his face or anything, and you can see a blurred out image, but from what I can see, it doesn't look like a penis that I would want to be showing the world he's got trucker guts too didn't he big old hairy trucker guys i don't want to say it

yeah someone else will send one to us with a picture saying wake up becky it's clock was that the same i don't know yeah let's just say the blurred out part of that image is very small. Yeah. Oh, jeez. Why do people do this? We're having some fun, but really when you boil it down, it's not called for. Unless it is cock-a-clock. Unless it is.

And that's fine. If it is, that's what you want to do and it's all consensual, that's fine. But on this occasion, it's not. And it's just weird. It's like getting pamphlets in your no circulars, isn't it? It's just the new age version of. I'd rather have a real estate pamphlet than that, that's for sure. Yeah.

I heard a podcast and some actress was saying the first one that he'd ever seen was from an unsolicited dick pic on the internet. That would happen often, I reckon, which is sad. Is it quite a common thing? Yeah. I don't think I've ever had it happen because I wasn't in dating app time. With the end results, what? It's probably one of those things

when people will whistle or honk a horn. Never in the history that I've ever known has anyone ever gone, oh my God, this is the person for me. I've always wanted to stop and be like, oh my God, you're right. You are my soulmate. Let's go on a date.

That's just, yeah. I mean, you're not going are my soul mate let's go on a date like this just yeah i mean you're not going it's clock o'clock this is this guy's this penis is marriage material i've never heard of anyone getting an unsolicited dick pic and then it going any further so i don't know like going into a relationship yeah or even okay yeah let's let's meet up knock it on the head really poor choice of phrases, but yeah. Guys, don't. Have a look at yourself. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Even if you just want one night of fun, there's better ways than just sending a... Well, you don't know where the people live either, do you? No. Yeah. You're taking a gamble on that front as well. I guess maybe because, yeah, maybe she's known to him.

I don't know. You'd think so, maybe. Generally, they're not attractive things either. No, they're not. It's just really like a mole. It's generally not that attractive. And especially just to be filling up the whole photo as well, too. Send a pic of your face, maybe.

Yeah, that would be good. Might be more appealing, yeah. So you've never in your whole dating marriage life sent a DP? I'm terrified to take a photo of genitals on the internet. But you don't put your face in it. That's the rule. No, but everything goes to the bloody cloud

and all sorts of, you know. I don't know. That's all the worry. Then your daughters will use your phone. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We're somehow connected up through some family network as well. Oh, Yeah. I don't know. We're somehow connected up through some family network as well. So I'm like, I don't know.

I don't understand it, but I know our Wi-Fi syncs stuff up. Hey, we'll take a quick break from the Wild Web. We'll be back very shortly. Welcome back. Everyone comes around to your house one day and there's a slideshow of all your pictures on the TV. We heard about that. Someone who found out their partner was cheating on them

through photos that they'd taken away on a weekend and uploaded onto the family, just to the screensaver at home. A photo of him and her in a bed. Yeah. Oh, no. And taking the photo and straight away it gets saved onto that.

First rule of a fairing. Don't take bed photos. Yeah, yeah. Just don't take photos. Why is everyone obsessed with taking photos? Oh, no. And images of stuff Yeah, yeah. Just don't take photos. Why is everyone obsessed with taking photos? Oh, no. And images of stuff. But yeah.

Have you ever received a unsolicited picture? Not an unsolicited. Have you had a solicitor? Yeah. Have you? You've solicited photos. How did you solicit? In relationship.

Oh, right. Did you just message someone and go, it's cock o'clock? Status, Megan Puffy status. Half past cock o'clock? Status, Megan Puffy status. Half past cock o'clock. Oh, Megan needs it. Okay. Can I do it here or go to the bathroom? Status just flooded with them.

150 of them all at once. And so how did you solicit? Well, no, you just like. It's just a flirtatious thing. It's not like, hey, you know what? You're not like, hello. Yeah. See me.

I don't know. But that puts a lot of pressure on the person taking the picture as well. You're like, lighting has to be good. Yeah, you're right. Temperature has to be great. Temperature does. Angles. You can do a lot with angles, I imagine.

Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to ask any more questions, do you? No. I don't want to. No. And I feel like the person doesn't want to ask Any more questions No I don't want to No And I feel like The person doesn't want

Yeah It could be anyone Could be anyone Could be anyone Those faces are weird Could be anyone Like I've slut shamed you there To say could be anyone

I wasn't meaning All of my many relationships Yeah I wasn't trying to So yeah But yeah It's an interesting Fascination

With just I remember when Was it Chat Roulette Oh my god I saw No I did see Penises on that Yeah you would have That was just like Interesting fascination with just, I remember when, was it Chat Roulette? Oh, my God. I saw it. No, I did see penises on that. Yeah, you would have.

That was just like, you just went on to this. Is that still a thing, Chat Roulette? I don't know. I don't know. We were doing it as part of like the radio show, and we just, the very first one we went on to was the guy sitting there naked. Oh, really? Yeah, very first one. So that's how it worked out.

You just basically, you didn't know Where it was going to pop up Who was going to be Popping up with you And it was meant to Probably connect people To have a chat You know Creators would probably

Start it with very authentic Wholesome Ideas And then immediately Day one We're all just chucking Penises on there It's you guys though

Like You tarnish everything There's like something new Like how can we embolden our penis You're right I won't lie Every time I see Some cockaballs drawn somewhere

On a toilet wall It brings a smile to my face You can't not Especially when you see people Do them in big fields and paddocks Or a pilot flies like that you know that's the yellow they've gotten a lot of trouble there or someone goes for a run and that's their running you know yeah map my run yeah it does bring you a lot of joy but yeah i don't know why we have to ruin everything with

yeah and like all that guy got from us there was a group of girls We just screamed And clicked next So he would have just got Ah And then gone We used to do a radio version Of Chat Roulette on The Rock And that was wild too Remember that?

We'd like Chat Roulette And we'd just like Whatever you want to say We're going live Oh that's right Yeah Did you? Oh yeah

It was I think we had to stop it in the end Because you know You could do that on the hits And everyone would be like Oh you guys are great We have a great day You know

Do you reckon You'd find I'm sure someone would spoil it Someone would ruin it Yeah It's like opening the prison cells You can't Well you just can't

Trust muntins You can't trust us You can't trust the human race And I guess that was Probably the Going live What's going to happen That was probably

It was probably good listening But at the same time It would get to a point You're like oh god That's why we have producers the calls are live but we get producers to screen them

it's like yeah we learned that lesson a couple of well I think probably once the hard way it's like that roasted Tom Brady you know

it's all someone steps over the line at some stage so it's all fine and then someone sees something that they think is funny and then someone else goes

oh you've gone a bit far I wonder if we could do it on the hits a roast no a chat roulette chat roulette yeah is funny and then someone else goes, you've gone a bit far. I wonder if we could do it on the hits. A roast? No. Or a chat roulette? Chat roulette. Yeah! Well, let's try it. We could try it on Friday. Live, whatever

you want to say, you can say. We could do it early. No, early is more dangerous. You've got to hold a more friendly audience after, you know, sort of seven or eight. But then if it goes sour, we get in more trouble if it's later. That's the thrill of it. That's the thrill of it.

It just takes one person. We're saying it now. If it doesn't happen on Friday, it's because management stepped in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's scary. In Australia, we hear that some of the radio stations have got a sensor button that they'll push. So there's a time delay, yeah. That's when you need one of those, that's for sure.

Because you don't, some people can give it a go. If someone said to you, call up, you're going to go live on the radio, you can say anything, what would you say, Jonah? Yeah. Yeah. But no, I wouldn't say anything bad now because I know the repercussions, but if I

had nothing to do with the radio industry. But there's no repercussions to the person saying it. The repercussions fall on us. For us broadcasting it. Yeah. We'll talk to Matt, our boss, and I reckon I know the answer to this. Well, hey, thanks for listening to the Wild Wild Web.

Do appreciate it. And don't forget, Megan and Ben's two-person play will be on tour throughout the country. We've got a few notes for rehearsals, but we'll come back again tomorrow. Don't forget the mantra, never put your face in your dick but there you go. Words to live by.