Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - How we have ruined Italian cruisine

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's Wild Wild Web!  We're diving into the topic of how we may have unintentionally altered authentic Italian cuisine. And guess what? Our very own Italian producer, Tayla, is joining us to set the record straight. It's going to be a deliciously informative conversation!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on the Wild Wild Web, if you see this dish on the menu in Italy, you're in a tourist trap. Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's wide web. A swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying, and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle, Jono and Vienna are your fearless guides. Leading you through the wildest parts of the wild wild web this is the wild wild web welcome along to another edition of the wild wild web where we uh stumble across something that we find wild on the internet and get to talk about it yeah you you just read something which uh could spell the fact that we've been bastardizing an entire cuisine of a nation.

Yeah, well, this is from the New Zealand Herald today. Producer Taylor sent this through. The headline is, as I said before, if you see this dish on the menu in Italy, you're in a tourist trap. And when it comes to pasta, which, you know, Italians love, do amazing pasta. Apparently, if you see chicken in it,

any pasta with chicken in it, it screams tourists. They don't do chicken in pasta. What about chicken fettuccine? I don't know. I'm going to get produced. I think that's like a butter chicken kind of vibe. Is it?

Yeah. Is it like us putting bacon and egg in sushi? Yeah. Yeah. I tell you, we've taken sushi and we've rolled with a whole other group. Chicken seems to be a very New Zealand thing from the few places that I have experienced sushi outside of New Zealand. Yeah. It doesn't seem to have, like, a chicken.

What, chicken in there? Some legion, some chokan in there. Yeah. To be fair, I mean, I'm not, you know, I'm not cultured or anything like that. I feel like it works. But, hey. Maybe we just like to chuck chicken in everything. We do.

Chuck it on up. Producer Taylor Dow joining us. We're just talking about the chicken in pasta. Yes, I did see this article. So is this a no-no in Italy or is this more of a, it's very touristy? Yeah, I can safely say I had never had chicken in a pasta until I met my husband and I was appalled. It's bloody tasty though. No, it's not though.

Great combination. It's disgusting. Especially if most places put chicken breast and it's so dry. You're not a fan of chicken? Not chicken fettuccine or mushroom. And like the fact that most chicken is in like carbonaras and stuff, the fact that you have to put cream on top is telling you something. No, but that's...

Oh, I love it. Yeah, with all the beer, the sauce and the... No, but most people don't know how to make a carbonara. It doesn't include cream. It's not a creamy sauce. The sauce of a carbonara is egg and cheese. Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't know what this dish is that's been created,

but I bloody love it. Love it. Yeah, it's a say. it's unheard of in Italy. Yeah, chicken and pasta. Also, they find it hilarious that we put so much on our pizzas, right? We put like a million toppings. You go to Italy and they are the most delicious thing. Just cheese and tomato.

It's just like sauce and cheese. What about meat lovers? We've got 29 different varieties of meat piled onto a super thick. So you have to use two hands, otherwise the breed buckles with the weight of the topping. The meat sagging. Obviously they do it in Italy, but just for the tourists. Just for the tourists, yeah.

My dad or mum would have been caught dead eating at one of those places. Really? Yeah, no way. Would you have a meat... No, never. Not a good old stock stand? No pineapple, no meat lovers.

I always order a margarita and I'm always laughed at. It's like a margarita is where it's at. Yes. Don't mind them. Don't mind the old margarita. Even, you know, like lasagna. Yeah. You know how you guys have bechamel sauce on it?

The white sauce on the top. Lovely, yeah. That's not a thing. Right. Is it more just the... It's just like how my parents cook it in my non-nut just like a tomato sauce made from scratch obviously um with just maybe a sprinkle of parmesan on top there's no bechamel cheese well i don't know how you're doing over in italy mate but over here

cheese it's a white bloody obese over here it's something quite cool about that you know when traveling through italy it's just how you just how the food was pretty simple but amazing. You go to the markets and stuff and you buy tomatoes and a recruitable. They live off the land a lot. And even coffee, right? So I think I've said this to you guys before. You can't get a cappuccino or a latte past midday in Italy. Or if you do, you're judged.

And I love in Italy, they don't often have like sit down cafes. Getting a coffee, you get like an espresso and it's like a stand up bar. Yeah, it's like a little shot. Yeah, you shot it and then you just carry on. So they have like big leaners where you just stand. Yeah, we've really developed a coffee culture here, haven't we? Like sit down, have a scone, have a slice. Have a bowl of latte and a panini.

Don't get me wrong, I can get around. Do you love paninis in Italy? Do they do those in Italy? Yeah, yeah. On the bread. Oh, my God. That's the legit stuff. I do remember the pizzas everywhere too, which is pretty cool.

You walk past in Italy and you're like, oh, they'd just be selling them. You just go, I'll get a slice. Just get a slice while we're going. Yeah, you can buy a slice. Yeah, and you just keep walking. Then you go, oh, I'll get another slice. It was kind of a cool way of doing it. And you're not bloated.

Sorry, you are not bloated after you eat carbs in Italy, depending if you go on the legit places. Because if you go to the right place, the pasta should be made from scratch, so there's no reason why it would bloat you. And even the pizza, it's so thin, the crust. Yeah, the bread's so thin. What do you reckon about, you know, we're chucking bloody frozen peas and corn and spaghetti polonaise.

You are? Well, just New Zealanders in general. I've had a chuck of this. Yeah, I've had time to time. I think my grandma used to put peas in a lasagna and things like that in my family. No thanks. I didn't say it was me. Creative license.

Just adding some stuff. There was a pizza outlet that once was doing It was like an exception A Mexican pizza So like nachos On top of the pizza Well doesn't it help pizza Do like a burger pizza At the moment

Yeah All for multiculturalism Yeah But we shouldn't mix Cultures on pizza Right I feel like the Mexican Cuisine too

We've kind of taken And Yeah Run by that right Yeah Done some interesting stuff. I'm sure if you head to Mexico, I'm sure their food is pretty simple, straight and very delicious. We're doing all sorts of wild stuff.

Flat based taco shells. Oh yeah. Those are genius though. They are. They are bloody good. They were giving me shit today about how I make stuff from scratch, but you sound like you do that too. I do, yeah. Would you use like a bolognese sauce?

Like a pre-made one. Like a jar from a jar? No, no, no. My mum taught me how to do it from scratch. It's not like it's weird. It just feels like when it's go to the week, you know, like if I was going to make a nice pasta meal, like I would definitely make it not from, well, from scratch.

But if it's just like stock standard Tuesday night there we go I'm just like it doesn't take that long it's half an hour and it tastes so much better so much better you don't know what you're missing you feel healthy

well maybe not if you made it yeah it's like you put everything on bread I made a roast last night so I don't know I can't really talk and that took a long time

yeah that's a Sunday meal I know exactly it should have been a Tuesday night it took a lot of effort for a Tuesday night, and I regretted doing it, even though it was nice. Did you roast the veggies too? Yeah, roast the veggies.

Beans, just beans, just potatoes, some kumara. You know, add it all there. How good is roast kumara? There's a lot going on. Now, Taylor, you've lived here for a while. Yes, two years. I don't think we've ever quite put our finger on it What would you say is New Zealand cuisine?

What is the quintessential New Zealand cuisine? Maybe a roast? Meat pies? Yeah, pies Oh my god, that's real sad And also, actually, I've had the best croissants ever in this country Oh, really? Yeah, your guys' croissants shit on Aussie's croissants

Really? Yeah, but what about really? Yeah, your guys' croissants shit on Aussie's croissants. Really? Yeah, but like, what about France? Yeah, France. Well, I haven't been there. I'm sure they've got the edge over us here. But yeah, obviously like the bakeries and stuff over here are incredible. Okay. We'll take a quick break from this food chat and be back shortly. Welcome back to the Wild Wild Web.

Yeah, but we put wild stuff in croissants as well. Yeah, again, we probably are like... If you went over to France, you're like, what, bacon eggs? Yeah, like a matcha croissant. The other day I saw matcha. Really? Like, you know, tea, green tea matcha. Yeah.

You can get matcha croissants now. You have an amazing, like, croissant bakery in Australia that I follow on Instagram. Oh, what's it called? I can't remember. It's one in Melbourne, isn't it? Loom or something, isn't it? That's the one? Yeah, Loom. Yeah, I went to go there. It's in Melbourne, isn't it? Loom or something? That's the one? Yeah, Loom.

Yeah, I went to go there. It's incredible. So long. Really? They make fancy croissants. Yeah. Okay, you can only eat one. What about the chop and dip that we do?

Oh, yeah, the onion dip. Oh, I can't get around that. I'm sorry, guys. I hate that kiwi onion dip. Oh, mate, get out. Get out. Take your passport and get out. When I moved here

and I could taste it for like three days. Who made it for you? Two Hegs, the intern I saw it with. Did she do it right? I don't know. Megan makes it from scratch.

I grind the onions to a powder. She grows the onions first. She's so sickly. What about a buddy's... The potatoes come from the garden. It's just a whole thing.

What about a good old-fashioned sausage sizzle? Would you say that was New Zealand? Oh, Aussies love it. Yeah, because Bunnings as well is iconic in Aussie. It's probably Aussie-New Zealand day. We could share that. Pavlova. I feel like we put a lot of...

That's controversial, isn't it? We want it. Australia wants it. It's a Kiwi thing. Is it? Okay. But in the end, does it really matter? Not really.

I don't like it. Is it even that good? No, it's yuck. But then again,, does it really matter? Not really. I don't like it. Is it even that good? No, it's yuck. It's just egg. But then again, making that from scratch, you can do, but just buy it from the supermarket. Oh, that's a lot of admin. I wouldn't make it, Pav. Yeah, see?

I just don't like them. Put some cream and some fruit on top. You don't have to go in the oven and turn the temperature. Real temperamental. Not when you buy it from already made, but just put the cream and fruit. Joy's cow cows, Pav. Yeah, but for a dessert, which is kind of I'm indifferent to. Joy's cow cows, Pep. But for a dessert, which is kind of indifferent to,

I'm not really. I think we can give that to Australia. I love it at Christmas time. I feel like it's a real summer thing, but it's not like I eat it once a week. I'd rather a fruitcake. But that's sad. No, get out of here with a fruitcake.

The depth of flavour in a fruitcake far surpasses the eggy sugar of a path. The fruitcake is so heavy. Yeah, it's dodgy and it lasts for like... Oh, okay. Yeah, that's great. It's a weapon and a dessert and you can have it with tea. Still eating Jesus' fruitcake in the freezer.

You feel full when you're eating it. It's been around for that long. Have you guys ever had panettone? What's that? Yes, that's the Italian kind of version of the fruitcake. It's kind of like a bread thing. It's way better. Yeah, and there's actually air inside.

You can breathe when you eat it. Scotchie, my grandma used to make, oh, it was kind of like a fruitcake sort of thing, but she'd put coins in it and cook it in the oven, which I think is really bad. Like money? Yeah, like money. But you're supposed to boil the coins first, right?

Yeah, I don't think she did all that. I don't think you're now meant to do all that sort of stuff. Yeah, and that would be the thing. You'd always want Extra slices Because even though I didn't like it Because you get more money Out of these things

That's amazing That's so cool You could put like Pennies and stuff But I don't think You're allowed to do that For some reason For coins and cooking

And stuff I feel like a coin In an oven Could be a dangerous Maybe she put them In afterwards I'm not sure But whatever

You just want it How much was in that one We bastardised that. We're putting coins in it. Johnny, you had a question. Yeah, sorry. Oh, what was it? If you could eat something.

Oh, yeah, one cuisine for the rest of your life. Italian. Yeah, same. Italian. Covers everything, as Taylor would say. That's great. Mexican's great. I really love Mexican.

Mexican's good, yeah. Japanese is a hard one to pass. Yeah, you've got some options there. I'm going to go Indian. Yeah, yum. Mexican's great I really love Mexican Mexican's good Japanese is a hard one to pass That's really good You've got some options there I'm going to go I'm going to go Indian Yeah yum The rest of your life

I mean it's great It's rich It's rich Good vegetarian options I like a garlic naan Garlic cheese naan Oh See butter chicken's another one

Yeah I feel like again That's just for the western You know I feel bad ordering a butter chicken, but it's so good. It is good, eh? It is good. How local does it? Like, oh, so good.

Do you order other stuff to get cred? Yes. Cred with the Indian waiter. You pick something really odd and you're like, and a butter chicken. A mushroom saag or something like that. You're like, yeah, it's great. Yeah, it's good. It's good.

I'm good. I'm good. I know what your cuisine is, but she and I love butter chicken. It's like eating pad thai And you're like pad thai And a tom car or something Yeah And make up

Thai food's awesome too Yeah No actually I might have to Thai or Italian It's a great food Oh I don't know I guess everyday I'm starving

Yeah I suppose Italian Italian offers you a lot of variety Yep There's options for lunch And dinner Even breakfast I suppose the Thai people Would go Hey well we've eaten

Our cuisine for Our entire lives We've done pretty well True What's Australia Because obviously You know

You're from Australia What would be A traditional Australian meal Like you would go Or just not I don't really A barbie Like

Tablover I thought Yeah right What probably is You know Yeah something on the barbecue Probably no huge difference From New Zealand Kangaroo A barbie. Like, half lower, I thought. Yeah, right. What problem is, you know? Yeah, something on the barbecue. Probably no huge difference from New Zealand, right? Kangaroo. They do a kangaroo, right?

I've had kangaroo before. It's quite nice. It's very lean. It's very good for you. But can you eat that everywhere or just certain states? I think you get South Australia. Yeah, I think certain states it might be illegal to catch and kill. Seafoods.

What if you see it on the road? Yeah, I don't know. What about seafood? That would be very Australian. Oh,. Seafoods. What have you seen on the road? Yeah, I don't know. What about seafood? That would be very Australian. Oh, yeah, prawns. Prawns are really good. Mussels, oysters, yeah. They love their seafood, don't they?

Yeah. Our country is just not old enough to have like, why don't we have like hard and fast cuisines? We've got good seafood. Yeah, we've got great seafood, yeah. Yeah. But you're right, and great bakery stuff. Yeah, and lamb here is incredible.

We export our lamb and beef. Yeah, lamb's bought all the good stuff. Am I not even eating the good stuff? No, you probably did in Australia. We get left with the drinks. And salmon. Salmon's really nice here. It's very rich and red.

Yeah. There's probably a radio show in Thailand right now going, So what's our thing? Just Tom Car soup. Oh, they're probably mocking their own cuisine. You know, you probably get sick of what you're surrounded by. Sticky rice. My daughter

asked me this question I didn't know, speaking of cuisine, the kiwi fruit. Obviously the name kiwi, we do grow it here, but it's not originally from here. It's like from China and stuff. It's a Zespri, isn't it? Why have we claimed that as kiwi? Why has it become kiwis?

Isn't it the Chinese gooseberry? Am I making that up? Oh, you're cancelled now, mate. And then we were like, nah, it's kiwi fruit. Yeah, but it's, yeah, I don't know. But over in America,

it's obviously called, they always talk about the kiwis, eating the kiwis. Yeah, Chinese gooseberry. Yeah, yeah. There we go. So I don't know. But over in America, it's obviously called, they always talk about the Kiwis, eating the Kiwis. Yeah, Chinese gooseberry. Yeah, yeah. There we go. So I don't know why. So it was theirs first?

Originated in China. Yeah. Apparently my daughter was looking at it at school and then I was like, but we've really claimed it as a name for us. And then overseas it always annoys me when they call it Kiwi. Yeah. Like, no, that's what we are. We have a bird. But we've named it fruit.

Somehow we got to name it. I don't know how we got to name that. But anyway. Chinese, another bloody good cuisine though. Yeah. No, that's what we are. We have a bird. But we're named fruit. Somehow we got to name it. I don't know how we got to name that. But anyway. Chinese, another bloody good cuisine though. Yeah. Dumplings. Oh, I hate. Chinese, they know what they're doing.

I fed my kids steamed pork buns the other day and they loved it. Yum. It's like pillows. Make them from scratch? No, I didn't. Oh, that's disappointing. But I did cook them in my bamboo steamer. Oh, nice.

Nice. The other day, actually, I've just got a quick story. I completely forgot this happened. Because my husband was away and I was cooking dumplings. From scratch? No, just the packet. And I put it in the fry pan, steamed it first, and then did a pan fry and got them off.

And then he FaceTimed me. So I'm eating and FaceTiming. Half an hour passes. And then I get off the phone and I'm like, oh, my God, why is the room filled with smoke? And then I looked over. I had left the fry pan on the stove. And these are new pans.

And it's charcoal black, so I threw it out so there's no evidence at home. You're lucky that it didn't catch fire. I know. And the smoke alarm did go off because there was that much smoke and we've got barely any windows. So I was like, oh, God, this is how it ends. How did you catch on so late? When I FaceTime someone, I give them all my attention.

And your sensors? They've got all your sensors. And I should have realised because Louis had passed out and I didn't even realise. Oh, my God. Oh, well, hey, that was the Wild Web today, traversing the course of cuisine, American good cuisine, too. Nah.

Oh, I love it over there, mate. Yeah, that's all right. Fatty, cheesy goodness. Remember when we went to Hooters? Woo! I'm sure it was the food that was so good. It actually was. We loved it there.

It was great cuisine. There's actually not that many Hooters, to be honest. Just like normal, hard-working people. I feel like I had to dress in a Hooter's outfit. One of the Hooters we went to one time for something. They're like ribs and burgers. Hearty food. They know how to do it over there.

Thank you for listening. Have a great day. God, I'm hungry.