Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - How you can be invisible!

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome, hello, and this episode of the Wild Wild Web. Uh, Harry Potter's invisibility cloak. Well, it's closer than you think. Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's wide web. A swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying, and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle, Jono and Vienna are your fearless guides. Leading you through the wildest parts of the wild, wild web. This is the wild, wild web.

These are actual news articles that spawn some interesting conversations from us. Now, J.K. Rowling, now she's written some interesting things, some controversial, some people agree with, some people don't. What is she? Is she transphobic? She's, oh, what do they call it? Yeah, sort of, yeah. I don't know. I just know that sometimes she says

stuff that polar. I mean, that's, yeah. Anyway, let's not go there. Controversial. She's dancing a line of cancellation. Yeah, but anyway, the Harry Potter books are much loved that she's written. Ben's like, move on, quickly. I should have started on a... There were no trans people in the Harry Potter books are much loved that she's written. She's like, move on, quickly. Yeah, I shouldn't have. I started on a...

There were no trans people in the Harry Potter books, were there? Did you even notice that? I started on bad footing, didn't I? To be honest, I don't know enough about what's going on there. Maybe I should. Maybe I should research because a lot of people are very fired up about it. But something that she has... She talked about the invisibility cloak in the book.

Harry Potter had those right, hid under the cloak, became invisible. And now scientists have developed a six-foot invisibility mega shield that can hide multiple people by bending the light. Now you can buy one for 699 pounds. That doesn't seem... That's about, what, 9 million New Zealand dollars? Yeah, well, it's actually not as bad as you think. It has kind of like a shield uh so you can kind of have a look here obviously

i'm holding it up there um a picture so it's almost like you're carrying around a bubble oh yeah and you can get a couple people hiding in behind um you see there's people riding away so you could it kind of looks like something is there and if you're carrying around a shield people gonna know something is up but you can kind of hop in behind, it kind of looks like something is there. And if you're carrying around a shield, people are going to know something is up, but you can kind of hop in behind it and kind of not been seen. That is the ideal tool for your, your humble suburban pervert, isn't it?

Well, yeah, it does feel a little bit that way, doesn't it? But can you see through it? Well, no, I don't know if you can.

I don't even care. Oh no, you might be able to, because here it is here against the corrugated iron wall, and... You definitely tell if something's there. Yes. Like, you know something's up. Yeah.

It looks like a sort of, like, a Perspex doorway or something, if I could describe it. We'll put it on the Hits Breakfast story. We'll chuck it up so you can see what we're talking about here. Or you can probably just Google it yourself. You know how to work the internet. You're clearly here. If you are standing behind it, that's what I'm wanting to know.

Can you actually see through it? Or are you kind of blocked as well? Is it like a hiding thing? Because there's a photo right here of two people because you can see their hands above it. But you can't see them, but you can see the fence behind. I don't know how it works. Yeah, it's reflecting what's behind them. So it looks see-through.

You must be able to see back. Yeah, it's reflecting what's behind them. So it looks see-through. You must be able to see back. Otherwise, what's the point in it? It's like obviously you just put a wall in front of yourself. Oh, yeah, so you can see through. I'm invisible. Great. Why can't you see nothing?

Well, you could have just hidden behind the brick wall and had the same effect. Couldn't see that truck coming towards me or anything like that. Interesting. I mean, yeah, the first thing you do that you think of is why would you need one and what purposes okay let's try and think of purposes

that don't involve perverts yeah okay hide and seek oh great hide and seek yeah

your average game of hide and seek that is a powerful weapon yeah when people don't want like if you went into a store surprise you want to go surprise

surprise party surprise party great you went to a store you didn't really want like that saying you're buying a present for someone you're like oh I don't want, like if you went into a store. Surprise, you want to go surprise, surprise party. Surprise party, great. You went to a store, you didn't really want, like that's saying you're buying a present for someone. You're like, oh, I don't want them to see me pop out of the store. Oh, yeah. Walking out of a brothel.

A brothel, yeah, I was trying not to make it sexual, but that was the other. Yeah, you're right. No one ever wants to be seen walking out of a brothel. I'm cheating on my diet, you know, and you're like, hey, you don't want to see me walk out with this burger. Yeah, right. I want to hang around after work and see if people bitch about me. Can someone hear Ben breathing? Just standing in the corner with a wheel. I wouldn't want to know.

Yeah. You think you want to know. Imagine all of the shops you could walk out of and buy items and not be seen walking out of them, Megan. All the clothes that you could buy. Yeah, no, that's not good though, is it? No, you'd end up like a I thought you meant like

All the shops you go into Like you can look at Lingerie or whatever You could go into Look at lingerie I could Yeah I could do that anyway though

Yeah We could go to a sports game Maybe not pay I mean for yourself Yeah I could go I'll go do it That's true too Yeah

No shame If you want some lacy undies Do you want No I'm not I'm not judging They make me feel nice Special yeah I like the Yeah, I could go. I'll go, dude. That's true, too. No shame. If you want some lacy undies, do it. I'm not judging. They make me feel nice. Special, yeah. I like the feeling on my inner thigh.

Good on you. Of a lacy underwear. But, you know, I feel like this is obviously a lot of R&D's gone into this thing. Yeah, it kind of reflects the light or bends the light. Maybe, like, let's get a cure for cancer, shall we, guys? You've obviously got some great brains to come up with this. I always think that. They're like, scientists have been working on this.

I'm like, why? There's serious stuff going on. Yeah, but maybe they're not scientists that are good at that. Right. I don't know. I'm just saying.

Or maybe even scientists need a break from, you know, trying to work out cancer. Yeah. You need all different types. It's like all different types of entertainment. Yeah, they need serious broadcasters

and then they need us. Do they need us? You can probably look at us and go, well, wait, you're doing something a bit more serious. You know? It's more meaningful with your time. Well, we're curing cancer. Yeah, exactly.

Why are we reporting on, you know, like things that Mike Hosking's reporting on? Because that's what he does. Well, we tried to at the beginning of this. Remember with the old... Oh, yeah. We didn't know enough about J.K. Rowling. So we gave it a bash.

We should. Maybe we should, definitely. Because, yeah, very polarizing. But, yeah, would you buy one? Okay. If you had all the money in the world, would you buy one? Well, it's not that expensive, but I don't know what I'd... You buy a lot of stuff.

You do get swept up in pop culture moments. And I'd probably buy... One of the people that would probably buy it because I'd think, oh, that would be funny for a video or content or something. I feel like that would be funny. So they played into my sort of sweet spot,

but I don't know how the average person is really going, yeah, what do you want it? I literally have no idea what I would use it for. We'll just take a quick break

from the Wild World Web and we'll be back after this. What would be one thing you would invent? Have you ever thought about one invention that would be your retirement plan? No, because most... You think most of the things are invented, but then you hear new things. Things, yeah.

And you're like, damn it, why didn't I... Why didn't I think of that one, right? I just like the being able to click my fingers and be somewhere. Oh, yeah, teleport. Time travel. Teleport, yeah. I mean, that's not happening anytime soon, is it? Wow. but the only time i really want to use that is when i'm on the couch and i want to be in bed and i've got to like go through that whole like shower or like

all of that admin i'm like just put me in bed i'm ready i reckon that won't be far off that won't be far off oh so you just want to go straight to like no admin straight to bed yeah but have all the admin done just take me to bed okay No admin, straight to bed. Yeah, but have all the admin done. Just take me to bed. Okay. Admin and eliminator. Do I need to do the pitch to Elon or something? That's a great invention. We're working on other things though.

What you've got to do is you've got to think of something that people find troublesome, i.e. preparing themselves, and solve that problem. And then that's your invention. Easy. What do people not like doing? Going to work. There you go. AI.

AI kind of took a good job of that, right? Solving that for us. Yeah. No, it's not bad. I mean... Exercising. Yeah. Or Zen pick.

Yeah, well, yeah, you're right. There is a lot of things that have already been invented for the things. What else don't we like doing? A lot of things. Humans don't like doing a lot of things when you think about it, right?

Oh, this was my one that you could take yourself back 10 minutes or forward 10 minutes just to avoid. I would just constantly be going back, though. Yeah, cool. You can undo things you've done. You can fast forward what's coming up. If you're a bit nervous about something, that would be a powerful tool. But if everyone was able to do that would we ever get going forward?

Yeah, we would. No one would be offended. You wouldn't offend anyone. No. Unless you intentionally wanted to do it in the moment. Oh, I see what you mean. So Megan pops back 10 minutes from now. Yeah, does that mean we all pop back?

Yeah, I guess we do, right? And you've dragged us back 10 minutes. Ben's like, actually I didn't like how that went. I've got a meeting. I didn't know enough about the JK Rowling situation. Our show would never end. And he'd go, pop back 10 minutes here. Our boss would bob in and go, hey, guys, just pop back 10 minutes.

Something that you didn't do. Yeah, you're right. Well, they've got that function on radio. They're taught back dump, don't they? Oh, yeah. If anyone phones up, like J.K. Rowling phones up ZB and starts mouthing off. And you're like, oh, dump. They can dump her, and it puts her in a 60-second delay.

Yeah. And it resets the whole broadcast they've kind of got that on some level but having that in real life well no you couldn't bring

everyone back 10 minutes because then you know we really put out everyone's schedules but maybe you just go back 10 minutes and you've got to

play catch up yeah can I go 10 minutes back now and tell you what JK Rowling's called they call her a TERF oh alright

which is a trans exclusionary radical feminist really yeah that's right that was the word I was trying to so is she called. They call her a TERF. Oh, alright. Which is Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist. Really? Yeah, that's right. That was the word I was trying to search for. So is she of the belief that a trans person shouldn't be able to use female toilets, for example? Yeah. And like how

calling a trans woman she's like, well they're not a woman. These are not my views, these are JK Rowling's. And so she wouldn't be a fan of them entering Olympic sports? No, I don't think so. Well, those are the beliefs of JK Rowling and so she wouldn't be a fan of them entering Olympic sports no I don't think so yeah right I don't think so

well those are the beliefs of JK Rowling yeah you think she'd buy invisibility yeah she could buy one of those when she makes comments

and then hide behind the shekels who said that who said these offensive things against trans people what's that weird bubble against the wall

yeah well use for anything, you know, JK Rowling, so. Did we sell an invisibility clock? I think you did, didn't you?

Yeah. Oh, that's right, years ago, yeah. You know when you could put funny items on trade and make news? Yeah. There was like one,

recently one of their like top picks. Was it? Yeah, the invisibility clock. Did you do that? Yeah, it was a prank. Yeah, obviously it didn't

work, but people just, you know, like, yeah. Well, people kind of do that from time to time. They put out a silly item and they just say, oh, yeah, you know, so. Yeah, but then you're like, well, you're really breaking all the rules, T's and C's of Trade Me's auctioning system, aren't you? Because don't you actually have to have the item to tangible good? I think technically you're meant to. I think that we ran into some trouble when we did the joke item

with the Prime Minister's plane that kept breaking down. We put it up as an actual thing, right? And then they were like, gosh, you don't own the plane. Also, how long ago was that? Because that plane still breaks down. It still breaks down.

It's embarrassing, isn't it? Luck so had to take Air New Zealand to get to Australia. It is kind of embarrassing that the plane breaks down for New Zealand, isn't it? Yeah. We've got one, but if you just tuned into the Wild World,

we probably cast, we have like New Zealand's Air Force One. They probably cast, we have New Zealand's Air Force One. They like to say it's New Zealand's Air Force One. Don't compare it to Air Force One. No. Have you seen Air Force One? There's two of them. Have you seen inside our plane?

Oh, no. Yeah, I've seen it's not Air Force One. It's like a cargo plane, isn't it? Yeah, it's very uncomfortable. Yeah, I saw a wonderful video. You went inside when pregnant, didn't you? I went inside the Hercules. That's a rough ride, and it smells like, is it diesel or something?

It's very rich. I'm so surprised they put you in close to giving birth. No, I was seven months pregnant. Maybe more actually. And I had to carry an oxygen tank because at that altitude, you can lose consciousness and stuff., what is it? Consciousness and stuff. Where were you going? We were jumping out. Well, they were jumping out the back of the plane.

Okay, gotcha. Really felt like you could have sat on the sidelines for that one. Yeah. Yeah. No, they did. The Air Force gave me like, they have their own doctors and stuff, and they gave me like a full-on health check and gave me my own oxygen tank. Again, you could have saved all that time and just gone,

hey, I'll just watch it run skydive down. Because the whole plane opens up Did you really want to go on it? Was that the Yeah It sounded like you did Yeah Because the Air Force was like

Gee last thing we need Is a bloody papu Bloody Yeah Pregnant lady There's a lot of admin for them Yeah That was lovely

And would you do it again? Jump out of the plane No just go on the Hercules Yeah Yeah It's a wild ride It stinks But it's crazy.

Because, you know, you're sitting high in the sky and the whole back of it opens up. And you just like see the clouds and stuff. So you didn't go anywhere as such, like just kind of circled around? No, just circled. Not a great thing to tell everyone because, you know, like it costs a lot of money

every time they take it up. You're just burning fuel. Tata Swift. Just parachuted out of the back of it for fun. On an aerostore. But yeah, it was a crazy ride. Mind you, what else are the Air Force up to? I honestly don't know.

Yeah, I mean, it's great that we've got one. They do a lot more around the islands and humanitarian things. Yeah, they do actually. As so does the Navy. Yeah, they pitch in and help out with these disasters and stuff. But I live around the Air Force

and they're constantly just flying around and around in circles. And I'd love to be like, what put you in to help out with these disasters and stuff. But I live around the Air Force, and they're constantly just flying around and around in circles, and I'd love to be like, what are you doing? I think they protect the waters around New Zealand too. No, but I mean literally like a very tight circle around my neighbourhood. Oh, well, obviously protect the borders of your neighbourhood too. It's like the Eagle helicopter, but a big Hercules. Yeah. Well, there we go.

That was the Wild Wild Whip today. Did you have anything more to add, B? No, no. No, it's all right. No, I was just going to say, the only thing I was going to add, which wasn't important, I thought it was good the Air Force, they put ads when I went and saw Top Gun in the movies.

They had their ads beforehand. Oh, that's good product placement. You know what you're about to see. Just think of the opposite of that, and you can come and hang out with us. Don't expect there's this calibre of plane. But if you want to get there, guys, this is the closest. It's a good stepping stone.

I thought it was good. I mean, it was like you go along there. You could have been too because you walk out there and go, wow, that's, you know, fight, you know. You know how each of these guys have got to fight a plane for, you know, themselves? Yeah. We'll share one. We'll put you on a roster.

A roster system Also hassling the plane Not the Air Force Because the Air Force people Are lovely But they could do With some better planes The prize

Very rich history Of the Air Force My uncle was in there And my dad And I remember My uncle When I started in broadcasting His first question was

They pay you To do that He did You know Old school Who don't see this As an actual vocation Which is fine You know Which makes was they pay you to do that. He did it, you know, old school, who don't see this as an actual vocation, which is fine, you know. Well, it's fine.

We were saying paying the scientist to come up with a shield, you know. Exactly the same thing. Well, there we go. That's the Wild Wild Web today. And we'll head off. You're going to have a wonderful day.