Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Jack Black cheats on the Warriors!

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

Show Highlights:  They are trying to keep kids off the street and into... the roller rink? You'll never guess how much Bens wife spent on sunglasses! Jono is the laziest kiwi! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Kate Middleton went public with her cancer diagnosis. Stephen Colbert, the talk show host, is one of the latest to say, hey, sorry for making jokes about it. He did a whole monologue about it. He did, about the affair that everyone was talking about. So now he's sort of said, hey, I make jokes that, you know,

about what people are talking about. And on this occasion, I made some jokes that I kind of regret now because obviously he didn't know what was going on behind the scenes. I think that'll make everyone a little bit gun-shy in the future, won't it? Yeah, yeah. About stuff you don't know that's happening. Which is kind of good, I guess. It's kind of a good thing. Is it? Make people very scared. It'd be hard to do's kind of a good thing Is it?

Make people very scared It'd be hard to do stand up comedy Wouldn't it? Yeah At the moment Some people plough on with it Don't they? Yeah you're true

Yeah there are some people Yeah they really like The Jimmy Carr type comedians They're like oh I'll just say it If I get cancelled He does well like Pointing the finger at himself And take the mickey out of himself

I suppose if you've got the attitude of like Well if I lose it all I'm comfortable with that. You can keep on going, I guess. But jeez, I got road rage yesterday. Hilarious incident though. So it was one of those situations where I'm at the front of the queue.

Hey, was I looking at fun stuff on Instagram? Maybe, maybe not. Who's to say? Some people are very quick with the toots sometimes. I know. You're like, all right, it's just changed. It's like fast and furious who can honk

the hardest edition and within probably 1.5 seconds it bang behind. Not even a friendly toot. No, arms,

you know, flailing arms behind as well in the rear vision mirror and as I kept driving on I noticed that the person

behind me was a parent from the kids' schools. It always adds a layer of jeopardy, doesn't it, when you figure out that you know the person. They knew that they worked out that it was you or not? Oh, yeah, because the next intersection we pulled up right beside each other. To his credit, he wound down the window and he said,

well, this is awkward. But you do need, I think, an apology version on the horn of like, you've got your aggressive one. And then maybe just like, if you can select another mode, you're like, babe, babe, sorry, mate, didn't mean to. Or like just a polite little, you know, the lights change rather than aggressive. Because sometimes you go for a light tap and it goes, I didn't mean to be so aggressive. Yeah. There's no, yeah, there's no real middle ground, is there? I know you're very, very hesitant to honk the horn in any situation.

Yeah. It's not really for me. My mom drives my wife bonkers. She does what I do, right? She sits in the passenger seat and leans over. She'll go lean over and then I'll go, it looks like I have the two digits. Yeah, good. It's the best kind.

So what? You got your car going, but you're going, sorry, mate. It's in the air. And everyone's like, oh, this guy behind me. Very conflicting messages. And then Amanda, like me, is looking around like. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast.

Megan's been looking into Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift. They're holidaying in the Bahamas at the moment, and this will make you jealous, right? She's really pumped the brakes on their coverage, didn't we? Every voice break we were talking about them, it felt like. I wonder if it's because a lot of it had to do with Taylor being in this side of the world, you know? Yeah, and then like the Super Bowl and...

A break from it. Yeah, break it. There's no season. There's no football going on. I think she's on a break from her concert, obviously. So, yeah. Yeah. So they went to the Bahamas, and, I mean, that's pretty spinnies as it is.

But the place they stayed is called Rosalita House, and it's a place that celebrities go to. It'll cost you $18,000 US per night. This place is huge as well. It's got its own maid butlers, security, chefs. It has multiple bedrooms. It's a whole like villa. It's a mansion.

Like imagine there's the biggest mansion that you can imagine in your head and that's it. But as far as we know, it's only the two of them going there. So there's a private pool, there's gardens, a fitness centre, not to mention all of the staff, five bedrooms, eight bathrooms. Do you reckon they're splitting the bill on that one or is that going on Taylor? Because she's got a net worth I've just googled according

to Forbes, so an official documentation, 1.1 bill. If you're Travis Kelsey, what are you doing there? What are you doing? Yeah, I mean, because he's obviously earning good, I imagine, good money. You know, he's one of the best footballers, but not Taylor Swift money. But doesn't her cat earn more than Travis Kelsey? I think so.

Travis Kelsey net worth, what's he? Oh, they reckon he's got a net worth of 50 mil. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, so her cat earns more than him. What does her cat do? Like all the movies and TV shows and music videos and endorsement deals, Instagram things. Honestly, that cat makes bank. And it obviously goes to Taylor.

Is the cat influencer? Yeah. Really? It's Olivia Benson. She's got a couple of cats. I think that's the one that hurts a lot. Well, yeah. I mean, Travis Cowell's 57 mil, which is an enormous amount of money anyway.

Nothing to sneeze at. But, you know, you put that up against 1.1 bill,'re going hey tay you can you can you take this one yeah really interesting i was reading the other day about her you know because obviously her concerts really long like three and a half hours or something like that but she trained she trained for like six months and she would like run on the treadmill and sing the whole the whole time videos of christine and just try and sing the whole the whole concert and sing so she didn't sound like she was puffed, I guess. That was the thing to get the fitness. Because it's one thing to run for three and a half hours,

but also you just need to add singing on top of that. It's like when you go for a walk with someone and there's a little bit of an incline and you're trying to have a conversation. You're like, sorry, hang on a second. I made a fatal mistake with Tony Street's husband, remember? Ran into Matt, who's Tony Street's husband, over Ran into Matt Who's Tony Street's husband over New Year's One time and I was going for a run and bumped into him

And he was running and I was like well let's run together And I just talked and asked him I basically interviewed him the whole time Interviewed him about his job, his career His five year plan While running? Yeah How did you have the break? At the end of it I was like Oh that was great, we should do this again

He's like, maybe not. He literally said, maybe not. At least he was honest about it. Probably likes his run zoning out. That was his alone time. His punishers punished me for 40 minutes. You're like, who wants to talk when they're on a run? The hits.

The Jono and Ben podcast. There was a clips a couple of days ago. It's kind of like orangey too. Yeah. Wasn't it crazy yesterday? You said there's a new planet discovered by a young gentleman at NASA. I need to be working there like a week or something.

Three days. 1,300 light years away. And then we figured it's 4,000 or something days to travel one light year. Yeah. So it'd take you a while to get there. It's crazy that he found it. It's like that episode, again, The Simpsons predicted it.

Didn't Bart find something in the sky when he was hanging out with Seymour? Did he? Skinner? Yeah, I think so. Oh, my gosh. You're just like, what is out there? I know. And are they looking back at us going, what are they doing?

Are we like the dinosaur ages right now compared to where they're at? Yeah. It makes you feel insignificant. Tell you what, ages right now compared to where they're at? Yeah. It makes you feel insignificant. Tell you what, it's too much to think about this time of morning. It is. A lot to think about. Well, we're going to put some more thinking on now right now with a game that we like to do called NSYNC.

Yeah. So Megan tries to get us all to sync up with answers. It's kind of like synchronized swimming with less water up your nose. We all do it at the same time. You can play along as well, see if you can come up with the answer that most of us try to come up with. Yeah, so if you sync up with anyone, you get a point. So you want to come up with something that you'd think people would commonly say.

Yeah, but you also only have three seconds to do it. I know, sometimes it's a bit of a fluster, but anyway. All right, first question. All right, producer Taylor's in as well, playing. Name a fruit that would be hard to j it. I know sometimes it's a bit of a fluster but anyway. Alright, first question. Alright, producer Taylor's in as well playing. Name a fruit that would be hard to juggle. Banana. Banana. Pineapple. Carrot.

No. Grapes. Carrot. Carrot would be hard to juggle. I don't know if it's a fruit though, is it? That's nice seeding, carrot. It would be hard to juggle but you're right

grapes they'd fall apart as you're trying to grab them oh this is going to be a long day at the office I'm sorry

okay alright no one gets a point second question what is the best room in the house lounge bedroom

oh there we go yeah I said bedroom too. Yeah, sorry. All three of us get a point. What did you say? Lounge.

That's a nice room. Yeah, you would. Lazy. Yeah, I would. Why would you say the bedroom? Because all the fun stuff. Sleep. Because you get to sleep.

Yeah. Yeah, and other things. Not in my house though. Anywho. More sleep? Pretending you're asleep? Saying you've got a headache? Okay, so we're all on one point.

Jono's on nothing. Third question. What is the best way to cook an egg? Scramble. Sunny side up. Ah, it's a bit of Ben. Poached? Poached, yeah.

Cute. Sunny side up. Yeah.rambled whole carrot boy over here Have a good shocker That's such a kid answer Scrabble's delicious Do you add milk to it? Yeah Yuck I hate that

Those are watery and dribbly Do you make them? No not in my culture What's your culture? What do they do in Italian culture? We just do eggs, olive oil, and vegeta. What's vegeta? Oh, I'm going to change your life.

It's like a spice. It's amazing. How have I never heard of it? You add it to everything. Vegeta. It sounds like something you'd say to your downstairs if you're trying to encode around the kids or something. You might say that in your bedroom in between when you're sleeping.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. What to watch with Megan. Megan likes to do this. Tell us what she's been watching. You watch quite a lot of streaming service options, don't you? Yeah. Try to.

But I'm obsessed with Netflix at the moment because Drive to Survive is on there's six seasons they just dropped the sixth season this year

and that's when I started so I had a lot of catching up to do So it's essentially a documentary season by season on Formula One racing and the teams

associated with Drive the hot drivers I always hear about you talking about Carlos Sainz sounds like you would love for him to take you for a drive somewhere. Carlos Sainz. Sainz, sorry. You know a lot about them.

I do, I do. For someone who doesn't, you know, you don't follow a lot of sport, you know so much about the drivers in this particular sport. Yeah, I am a bit of a petrol head from back in the day. I used to follow the V8 supercars. But this is like... We heard she was a bogan from Nelson back in the day, yeah. This is like a sexier, more expensive V8 supercars. Very expensive

cars, hot European men. It's got everything you would want. This is like going from the bogans to the businessmen. Yeah, exactly. I think we've got some audio of Drive to Survive. A driver's career has a finite amount of time to it. We owe it to them to provide them with a good car. You can be here for 20 more years. I can't.

In the end, if you love racing, this is what you want to do. Oh, they even sound hot. Oh, that's good that he's not so do. Oh, they even sound hot. Oh, that's good that he's not so hot. Oh, really? Oh, he sounds hot to me. He's lovely. Keep your eyes shut, he's hot.

The accents, there's all the accents. So my best friend put me onto this. She was like, you have to watch this. I was like, why? I've never been interested in Formula One. This is like a reality show, but it's dramatic. The guys, the bicker, there's like fighting between them. It's like a reality show with hot guys and fast racing and crashes as well.

I imagine he's running a big ego. You know, whoever that person was we just heard speak there. No, he doesn't have a big ego. He's lovely. He's the a big ego, you know. Whoever that person was we just heard speak there. No, he doesn't have a big ego. He's lovely. He's the sweetest guy. Christian Horner was the first voice you heard. He's married to Gerry Halliwell, the Spice Girl, and he's the head of Red Bull Racing.

So that's Max Verstappen and all those guys. He has a big ego. Now there's a Kiwi driver, Liam Lawson. Who's actually part of Red Bull Racing with Christian Horner. So he's a Kiwi driver, Liam Lawson who's actually part of Red Bull Racing with Christian Horner. So he's the reserve driver and I'm going to meet him tonight. Yeah, you're going along to an evening with Liam Lawson.

Are you taking your husband? No. He's to look after the children. Why would you take Andrew? I'll look after the kids. Yeah, yeah. He's not as into it as I am. That's fine. It would be quite nice for Andrew to go along. Yeah, I think so. If you guys, you know.

Honestly, like, there was a crash. Like, one of the guys, like, blew up in the car. And everyone literally thought, like, he was done for. And it's so dramatic. And then finally, after ages, he walks out of the car. They called him the man on fire. And I was, like, almost in tears. I was like, I don't know if he's going to make on fire. And I was like, almost in tears. I was like, I don't know if he's going to make it out.

And Andrew's like, what are you doing? Who is this person? Did he make it out? He did. Incredibly, just with burnt hands. But then he left Formula One. Oh, he's done. He's done.

Wow. It's a big crash. I reckon that would be. Catching on fire is a bit of a downside, isn't it? Yeah. So Drive to Survive, you can catch all six series, a season, sorry, on Netflix right now. The hits.

The Jono and Ben podcast. Newly released a survey onto Kiwis' coffee habits. The most popular drink out of coffees, you know, that people order in New Zealand. Flat white. You would have thought flat white, right? Is it not? Apparently the mocha.

Oh, mocha. The mocha. I was surprised. Not saying, you know, like, if you want to have a mocha, right? Is it not? Apparently the mocha. Oh, mocha. The mocha. I was surprised. Not saying, you know, like, if you want to have a mocha, I won't mock you. But I wouldn't have thought, yeah, I would have thought flat white would have been just your standard one that most people would have had. I thought in the barista industry the mocha was the mockable drink. Behind their backs you would mock people who order mochas.

Yeah. What is it? I've never had a mocha. It's just a flat white with a, like, chocolate in it. Yeah, it's got some chocolate. Yeah, chocolate. You'd probably like it. Tell you what, if you want to get moccad,

order a piccolo like I do. But you persist with it. I do. No, a piccolo is a great coffee. It's a tiny, tiny little thimble, but it comes with a very powerful, you know, few millilitres of coffee. Yeah, well, it's the same shot as a flat white,

so you're getting the same amount of coffee, it's just less milk. But yeah, it comes in these tiny little cups, and then when you're carrying them, Ben Boyce, I know your big issue is they spill over your fingers because they don't have lids for the tiny cups. You do look a bit pretentious. I'll take it on the chin. The cappuccino is the number one espresso shot around the world in 24 countries.

That's the most popular one. Because the flat white doesn't exist in a lot of countries. It's a New Zealand, Australian. But there's different culture, too, I found, in traveling overseas. Like, you know, you go through Italy, it's all very small, smallish, so kind of similar to what Jono's saying. Yeah, and you don't sit down and have a coffee in Italy. They have those bars and you just, like, hit back your shot and then you leave.

Yeah. It's like we're walking up to a bar. coffee in Italy. They have those bars and you just hit back your shot and then you leave. Done. It's like we're rocking up to a bar. Jenny Boyce Ben's mum loves a giant five litre bowl of latte. Single shot. Single shot. What? Like a milk bowl that coffee sneezed into. Maybe I'll hang out with her now. I've been off the coffee. Tea all day baby. Dilmar all day.

Still off the coffee. Well since I've been sick I just haven't felt like enjoying coffee and I've been tea and I'm like I'm past the I'm past it now do you feel different yeah I don't feel

I don't feel like yeah maybe a little bit I don't know it's hard I'm still on antibiotics so they're still you're still on antibiotics

still going through my system so yeah so I'm just Ben had an infected elbow that's right it was an orgy that went bad

yeah really bad elbow deep why is the elbow You just told us Ben had an infected elbow. That's right, yeah. It was an orgy that went bad. Yeah, really bad. Elbow deep. What was it? Oh, my God. Don't bring it again. Get my hands dirty. Stop.

Now he's giving up coffee. It was a hell of a night. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We like to do this once a week where we trawl through our phones and our comms with our partners and just read them in a slightly saucy tone to add some spice to the morning. It does get a little bit spicier than a bloody lunchtime vindaloo in January. Yeah, these are texts that maybe weren't spicy, but we're going to spicy them up just a little bit.

We've got some sexy music. Texts from our partners. Do you want to kick things off, Megan? I can start. This is from yesterday. Can I meet you at the gym? Sure. Are you in the park across the road? No, just in the car park here.

Oh, you're next to me. I didn't even notice. So there's some parts of that felt like it could have been like a little secret liaison hookup. Should we meet at the gym? Are you in the car park? That sort of thing. Some parts of that felt like you could have just looked to your left and seen that your husband was right next to you. No, that was him.

He didn't know that I was next to him. So I didn't even notice. I was like, wow, cool. Do you go to gym together? How does that work out for you? No, I usually go first and then I meet him there because we have to share our swipe card. Ben, you'll know about that. Oh, yeah.

So I go, do the handover, and then, yeah, leave. So we're not even there together. Yeah, you said the times you had been with him, he tells you you're not working hard enough and things like that. I know, and he's like, do you want me to help you with your workout? I'm like, no, bugger off.

Leave me. Two things couples should never go together to do together. Go to the gym together and put flat back furniture together Yeah Okay Ben Boyce, from your sexy texts Very short sexy interaction from my wife Amanda and I On the sexy texts She texts me

Do you know anything about my pot plant being knocked over in the bathroom And I replied Yes And it was me it was me I knocked over the bathroom but I wasn't going to get into that over text yes I know something about it

she didn't ask the right question that's right I do I know a lot about that pot plant when I was over in the bathroom I tried to clean it up but obviously not good enough so yeah

that could have been a sexy metaphor you knocking over her pot plant pot plant in the bathroom can I just say a bathroom pot plant is just right for a You're knocking over her pot plant. Can I just say a bathroom pot plant is just right for knocking over. Loves her pot plants.

So I unfortunately knocked over that one and didn't put it back in properly. I knew a lot about it. Was there dirt all over the floor? Well, I cleaned up

all the dirt but I think because you can tell if you know about plants if you haven't put it back in properly. Push it in properly. Yeah, exactly. Well, this is about plants if you haven't put it right back in properly. You just jammed it back in. Push it in properly. Yeah, exactly.

Well, this is actually going back. This is a vintage sexy texty between my wife Jennifer and myself, Jan, 23. It was me. I set the scene, a very lonely position, on the toilet, okay? Yeah, with your phone, of course. And then I discover there's a lack of wiping material. I send it. We a lack of wiping material. I send it.

We're out of toilet paper. Radio silence. Get nothing. Then I follow up. Can you please bring me some toilet paper? Now the message falls on deaf ears. And I send again. I'm really not in a position to retrieve any.

Four hours later. Sorry, just saw this. Hope all is good. I tell you what, it wasn't all good. I saw the bathroom. It was a hunched over walk, praying that no one would see me on my way

to the cupboard. Yuck. That was the sexy texties this week. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. And this Sunday, we want you

to be the hit of Parama's Jono and Ben's mascot race. We did this last year, it's back again, halftime at the Warriors. You can catch it if you're at the game or on Sky Sports. It's going to be broadcast live.

It's a mascot race. 20 mascots taking part over a race that's doubled in length now, 200 metres. There's some amazing mascots taking part. Perina's Oscar the Cat's going to be there. Penelope Pineapple from Dolls. Even the Life Education Trust Harlord as we're put on the thing

everyone's like who's Harlord? I think it's Harold's brother Harlord Harlord Harlord the giraffe he'll be there as well we've got two drafts we've got the longest milkshake in town draft as well there'll be a draft of two cats there

it's going to be one heck of a race. But we just found out yesterday because we were doing a bit of a run through. It's really important, you know, because it's in the middle of an NRL game. It's a big game. You want to keep the hype up, don't you? And they said, well, what music are the mascots coming out onto the field of? And we were like, oh, dear God, we haven't thought of this. No.

It's been the last thing we've been thinking about. Ben's been thinking about taking all the urine samples of all the athletes, obviously. Yeah, there's a comprehensive drug testing going on. Well, you seem to send them off to the lab, but I've never returned from a lab with these samples. So, you've come to the party with how many? Half a dozen that we can choose

from? There's five songs right now, and we're going to play a little snippet to them, and then you can decide, 4, 4, 8, 7, which song should the mascots walk out to. So here's the first one. Imagine this should the mascots walk out to. Okay? So here's the first one. Imagine this, 20 mascots walking out to this. You know? But you're probably on the beginning, but don't you?

Bam! Yeah. Bam! Bam! Bam! Yeah, probably not the chorus of that one. I mean, the chorus is nice. Are there any tigers in the mascot race?

Oh, no, you're right. No, I don't actually think so. Not even in Easter Bunny for Easter Sunday as well. So we've got Eye of the Tiger, but you're right, it'd probably have to be the start of that one. That's the real part of that song.

Our final countdown. Oh. It's the final countdown. Do-do-do-do. You know? Also the start of that song. The start of the good is bad.

Grace and I should have coordinated on which part of the songs we wanted to use, but that's all right. The hook's good to get your head around it. But if people could imagine the beginning part of the first 20 seconds, the mascot's walking out. We could go with a Kiwi one. We could go with some David Dallas.

Some running. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Great tune. Also used in an Adam Sandler movie. Running. Was it? Yeah, it was. I have a question.

Do we have to pay for the rights to play the song in a public stadium? Is that covered? I think the Warriors have got that covered. Okay, great. Because they pay that. We've got this one as well. Could be a good one. Picking Rick Roll.

Rick Roll. And finally, this one as well. Seems appropriate right now. Oh my God, please. Just to wind Jono up. Maybe Winston Peters could be our mascot in the race too. Well, please. Just to wind Jono up. Maybe Winston Peters could be our mascot in the race too. Well, true. Hopefully no one gets knocked down and gets back up again as well.

So maybe we won't do that. If they get knocked down, you want them to get back up again. Exactly. Yeah, true. Now, so we're going to open up the text votes. 4487. Out of all those, which one do you think is the most appropriate song for the mascots to walk out on? Bearing in mind

we're going to be like barking stuff over microphones at the time so you don't want anything too distracting I'm thinking not the chorus not the chorus

of the time of course yeah and I think you're right the start of that song definitely it seems to be the favourite one

and then what else have we read never going to give you Up to choose from. David Ellis running. I would like to put a vote in for Chumbawamba. Okay. Oh, God. I shouldn't have put it in there as a suggestion.

Okay, let's try and beat Chumbawamba right now. And as another suggestion, is it too late to get the mascot race in for the 2024 Paris Olympics? When did we have to submit the papers for that, the paperwork for that? Commonwealth Games, we might be able to get it out no one wants to host that I think so 4487 which song should the mascots

walk out as you say you can catch you can catch it on Sky Sport this Sunday night when the Warriors take on the Knights at Go Media Stadium the hits the Jono and Ben podcast but I think you were talking about the other day Jono you were saying you were at the stage of your relationship with your wife that you know if you earn you yourself um general laugh

you know yeah brings you much joy and i think we're also at the stage of my relationship with my wife amanda where you can just try to wind each other up just a little bit for your own satisfaction it feels like you know you don't need to do it but you just know that you that you say something you'll get a reaction out of the other person yeah this feels like it's the gateway the gateway conversation to you know how you end up with the bickering boom appearance yeah my wife over the weekend uh got herself a pair of sunglasses now backstory on sunglasses because both of us have been frustrated that you know sunglasses you lose them you break them that sort of thing we're, we need to not spend lots of money on, because you can spend hundreds of dollars on sunglasses.

We're not going to do that. We're going to spend no more than $100, but try and keep it around $50, you know, like $50, $100, that's the sunglass, that's our budget. You know, let's do that. You know my rules. My rule's $5 under. $5, yeah. $5 under.

I swear, if you buy expensive sunglasses, you never lose them and you never break them. Well, I think that's a theory that we don't agree on because but you do look after them like a newborn baby for the first six months a little bit and then like a baby like oh you can fall on the ground yeah so anyway my wife came home with sunglasses yesterday she goes what do you think of sunglasses i'm like great how much that's my question you know she's like number one do you think and i'm like yeah great how much and then she's like less than three hundred dollars and i'm like 300 bucks and that so that's the reaction for me 300 bucks you know our rule we've been saying a lot and then she who came up with the rule was it both of you brainstorming we agreed on the rule and when

you say we yeah who started the conversation yeah and was it just you talking feels like less than 300 300 bucks yeah this is 300 bucks and 295 and then she laughed and she goes when i said less than 300 bucks i mean 49 dollars oh yeah but in that whole time i'd gone from zero to a hundred on it's cheap she troll Yeah, I know. And just to get a reaction out of me. I'm like, you could have just come home and go, look at this pair of sunglasses. It's cheap, under our budget, what we thought, you know? Yeah, yeah. But no, she had to do that just to wind me up. And it did. It worked really well. Voice went up a couple of boxes. Yeah, that's 300 bucks. Just coffee, just repeating the price. Yeah. I remember that because I couldn't go to the auction when we bought our house many years ago. And Amanda was like, we've got the house.

And all I kept saying was, how much? Because, I mean, anyone can win the auction if they want. If they're determined enough. You've just got to just stick around. You might not be able to afford it. But I keep going, she goes, we've got the house. How good? I'm like, how much?

We've got the house. And she wanted a reaction. So anyway, she got the reaction out of me. That's for sure. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Saw a thing on Fair Go the other night. We've got the house And she won a reaction So anyway She got the reaction Out of me That's for sure The hits The Jono and Ben podcast Saw a thing on Fair Go The other night

This poor lady Who's been driving around With her licence plate Karen Has received a Message from Waka Kotahi Who said They've got a complaint

They had a complaint From someone Saying the licence plate's offensive Because of what The Karen's The association of Karen as a complainer Sort of thing.

Yeah. And that particular Karen joins us on the phone now. Good morning. Good morning. What would you like to complain about this morning? Actually, I haven't got very many complaints. I've got a cup of tea and I'm still in bed. Oh, very nice.

Now, Karen, we saw your story on Fair Go the other day. Now, you've had a personalized plate with your name on it since, what, 2006? It was a gift from your husband. Exactly, yes. So I've had it a long time. So it's got your name, Karen, on it. And it means a lot to you because, what, the same day that your son-in-law proposed to your daughter, you got the plate as well?

Yes, it was. So it was an amazing Christmas, and we had all the family there as well. It doesn't have to be special. It could just be the fact that your husband bought you a plate that is your name. Got your name on it. That should be enough. You've been driving around for, what, 18 years pretty much with this thing. Or my maths is good on the fly.

And now all of a sudden you've got a contact. Is it someone who complained and said it could be offensive? Yes, exactly. They did. And apparently it was an anonymous call. And so they complained to Waka Kotahi. Yeah. I always think that if you can't put your name to a complaint,

then don't bother. You put your name to a plate. Yeah. And they were complaining that the uh the license plate karen given all the connotations i mean karen karen has really had an unfortunate uh damage to the brand hasn't over the last couple of years you know i think maybe more than what adolf did to the name adolf uh poor karen's really suffering suffering as complainers, which you sound lovely, Karen. Well, I'd like to think I'm lovely, but anyway, I'm definitely not one of those Karens. There must have been a party because you went to Fair Go.

There must have been a party of you going, is it a good look for a Karen to go to Fair Go? Possibly not. I was getting frustrated. And why does it take so long to give this anonymous complaint so much airtime, if you know what I mean, two to three months? Because you imagine, so they've complained to Waka Kotahi, you'd imagine they'd laugh it off, but they've got in touch with you and are they upholding the complaint? Yeah. What do they want you to do?

Yeah, they say, well, that's my name. I've been driving around with it and surely that's the end. Yeah. What do they want you to do? Yeah, they say, well, that's my name. I've been driving around with it, and surely that's the end of it. They wanted me to explain what it meant. Look at my records there. You might be able to connect the dots. Oh, jeez. All right. Well, hopefully you get to keep this plate as well.

What do people say when they see the plate over the last few years? Nothing. Nothing? No few years? Nothing. I've never had a thing. Since then, I sort of feel a bit conscious of driving around. Oh, you shouldn't. It's your name.

I know it's my name and I'm very proud of my name and most of the Karens I know and it's amazing how some people have come back to me and said well I've got a Karen I've got a Karen they're all lovely. Yeah absolutely the same. What about our mates? She's a Karen, she's awesome. Maybe we need to stop using it. We need to stop saying the name Karen. Sometimes if that person who did complain about your license plate

anonymously sometimes it's nice for us here in New Zealand to remember there's wars going on in the Ukraine and Gaza. Oh, God. And the cost of living. Exactly. There's a lot more important things to be worried about. Well, Karen, thank you so much for joining us this morning. I hope it gets all sorted out for you. Yep.

Well, there you go. Got it sorted for me. Oh, you can keep it now. Oh, that's great. Oh, yes. Did you not know? Did you not know? Yeah.

Oh, good on you. Oh, you can keep it now. Oh, that's great. What was Fair Go? Did you not know? Did you not know? Yeah. Oh, good on you. Oh, Fair Go. Well, on the day of Fair Go, I got a phone call, and they were so excited to tell me, and I thought, oh, okay. So they spoke to Fair Go. Good old Garth Bray at Fair Go, he got in touch with Waka Kotahi, and he sorted it all out for you. Yeah.

Exactly. What are we going to do without that TV show? Yeah, if it goes going as well, eh? That's really sad. Yeah. Well, it is, isn't it? Glad there's a happy ending, Karen. You look after yourself. Yeah, I will. There's Karen there. I hope for what? Sounds like

she's getting to keep her plate, which is a good thing, right? Great news. Into a long Easter weekend, the weather looking a little messy with the South Island looks to be the Great news. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Into a long Easter weekend. The weather looking a little messy, but the South Island looks to be the place to be over the weekend. A bit of a chill around the country. And breaking news too. Diddy.

P. Diddy, the rapper, had multiple names over the years. A dozen or so. Hard to keep track of him. And maybe he's been changing his name for a good reason as well, because the feds have been raiding both his homes in Los Angeles, mansions in Los Angeles and Miami. Allegations of human trafficking. Yes.

Wild allegations right there for Puff Daddy. And they have to have some kind of grounds to raid his home. And if we've learned anything from the Princess Kate debacle over the last two months, that's all we'll be saying on that matter. Allegedly. Supposedly. Yeah, right. Let's wait for that to go through the court system and for that to play out before we make any comment uh yesterday

we're talking after the show megan about your career your 24 month stint is a roller derby babe what are they called babes what are you called skater roller derby skater i use career very loosely but I did it. I was there. You watched the movie and you were inspired by the movie and you were like, I want to take up roller derby. That movie, Whip It, Drew Barrymore, I think is in that. Yeah.

And it was really inspiring and I wanted to be a roller derby girl. And you were Chloe Carbac, because they've all got great pun names. You were one of the Kardashians. What were you? Chloe Carbacian. Great pun. I got great pun names. You were one of the Kardashians. What were you? Chloe Carbaccian. Great pun. I like it. Love it.

Yeah, good pun. Who had the best pun name on the team, you think? Oh, Napoleon. Oh, can I say that one? Napoleon Vaginamite. After the movie Napoleon Dynamite. Yeah, get that part. I love the second part, though.

That is... Woman's explaining it to us. After the movie Napoleon Dynamite? Yeah, get that part. I love the second part though. That is... Woman explaining it to us. That is brilliant. They're doing some great things. Well, yeah, Ben and I were saying, you know, we kind of dabbled in it just for stupid TV sketches and things, but you said that we saw a lady broke her collarbone when we were filming.

Was it collarbone or wrist? One of the two. You said someone's chin. They fell on the floor. Their chin came off. Clean off. Yeah, we were skating on a place that had, like, tiled flooring, like plastic tiles.

But she hit the deck with her chin, and the edge of the tile just tore it. So she had – I said, move your hand. She moved her hand, and a flap of skin just popped out. I was like, move your hand back. Hanging off her face, the poor thing. So I went home. Yesterday I was like Googling just roller derby stuff, you know, and then you get fed algorithm.

They're like, this is what this guy's into, roller skating. And then this ad, this very unusual ad for a roller skating rink in the US was fed in my algorithm. Now they've come in. I'll just give you from what I assume has happened here in the brainstorm room. They've come in with an angle. How are we going to get kids into the roller skating rink? I know.

Let's say we're keeping them off the streets, lingering on the streets and all the temptation that comes with hanging around on the street. So that's the angle they've gone with. Okay. And they've got a whole bunch of kids doing sort of affidavits to camera about how much the roller skating rink means to their life. Have a listen. I'm going roller skating. I want to be addicted to roller skating, not crap. Because we roller skate today, we will go to college tomorrow. Prison is full of people that have never roller skated. I'm Brad Armstrong, owner of Roller Kingdom in Reno, Nevada, keeping your kids off the streets since 1999. I say no to drugs.

I say no to gangs. I say no to unplanned pregnancies. I say no to meth. I say no to reaper. I say yes to roller skiing. Wow, what a sport. What a sport. I can do all that.

Yes to roller skating. No to crack. Pretty much sums it up. You can be a virgin who doesn't take drugs if you continue roller skating. That's the... That's heavy. I mean, maybe we'd be further up the life ladder if we did roller skating. More roller skating.

Pinning a lot of importance on roller skating there, that place. Yeah. If I don't even go to prison. It would ruin his ad. Yeah, true, actually. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Of course, we're trying to make some money for Kids Can. And next week, a really great organization helping out Kiwi kids

that really need our help around the country. One in six Kiwi kids right now, they do things like rain jackets and breakfast and feed the kids up so they can learn and, you know, like... Concentrate. Hang out and have shoes and not get wet and stuff like that. Just basics that you just think is not happening in New Zealand. So if you can donate, and Megan, you've set up a keyword. Yeah, just text KIDSCAN to 4487.

It'll give you back all the details you need. It'll take you to that website. And you can just give as little as a couple of dollars. If you can spare it right now, it would really go a long way to helping Kiwi kids. Yeah, well, there's a lot of them on the waiting list, and those kids can't service them at the moment, so hopefully this money will go towards that.

Now, maybe that's a really good excuse, is I'm saving my legs, Ben. Right. Saving my legs for our big handball marathon next week, because we've got a new place where we park our cars now at work previously we were two or three blocks away from where the radio studio is, now it's a simple block, it's a very

quick 90 second walk from emerging from the car park to the radio station. Yeah you're right you pretty much cross two roads one set of traffic lights, it's not far and you're there previously I was using my electric scooter to get from the car park to work, saving valuable minutes in the morning.

Every minute counts, you know. And so now I've also taken to using the scooter from this new car park location. How long? What's the scoot duration now? Now, 30 seconds. Jeez. Walking 90, probably. 30 seconds.

Now, Producer Taylor, you can come on in, Taylor. One thing, we haven't worked for Taylor for not even a year, 30 seconds walking 90 30 seconds now producer Taylor you can come on in Taylor one thing we haven't worked for Taylor for not even a year

but her brutal honesty has really come to the forefront she's a good friend she'll tell you exactly what she thinks

beautiful Sydney Italian honesty and you said to me earlier in the week I was like don't tell me you're still riding your

scooter to work it's literally like you guys just said maybe 90 seconds still riding your scooter to work. It's literally like you guys just said, maybe 90 seconds. It would take longer to get it out of the car boot than it would. It's like,

God, you're lazy. It's not what you said. It's not what you said. It's quote unquote, you lazy inserts any swear word, the worst word you can think of. I'm not going to say that on air.

Correct. It was the sentence. And it's really sat with me because it is quite possibly the laziest thing I've ever done. Yeah. Maybe if I've got an option not to use my legs, I'm going to pick that option. Maybe that's the favourable option.

Like, honestly, everyone with this new car park, everyone's just raving about the accessibility. Yeah, going on and on about it. The close proximity. It's like the best thing to happen to us. Megan parks in the building yeah I park downstairs well we're not all that lucky

I'll admit using an electric scooter from there is like taking a jetpack to your fridge from the lounge exactly absolutely no need for it

stop using it be grateful save on the electricity too yeah exactly so I'll wait this is what we want to open up this morning laziest thing you've done.

Have you, I don't know, ordered a pizza from the pizza shop delivery, which is at the end of your driveway? I can imagine that would have happened before. My friends in a flat used to have a pool cue to change channels on the TV. They lost the remote and then someone stole a pool cue. They used to just use that to try and hit the TV. Didn't work that well, to be honest. And then the effort and time to get the aim right yeah what a great story yeah exactly the hits the Jono and Ben podcast we're going to be doing 24 hours of a handball it's not the

laziest thing we're going to be doing it's actually a lot going to take a lot of effort mental and physical even though handball doesn't require much um running around we say that we say but then after 20 minutes of just playing it for social media videos, we're like, oh, this is going to be a long 24 hours. And I've been labelled the laziest man in New Zealand radio after taking a scooter probably about 100 metres every morning, an electric scooter.

And I'll admit, it's maybe a little bit excessive. But we're just after the laziest thing you've done on our 800 The Hits. Megan, what's the laziest thing you've done On our 800 The Hits Megan, what's the laziest thing you've done? I don't know I'm not I don't have anything that I like Well aren't you just fantastic?

I mean I do park like downstairs So I just catch a lift up That's pretty lazy Can't help it though if you've got a great car park I remember I was in Ben knows this story I was lying in bed once And I removed something From my nostrils

That was in there And I was like A booger Yeah what do I do with this I was like What do I do with this I don't know what to do So I put it

I put it back in What Has anyone ever Put a booger back Well I did One of the others Was like wiping it So we're like

You don't want to do that. That felt like the most appropriate place to leave it. I'll come back for you later. I'll deal with you later. We're going to get Sasha on. Welcome, laziest thing you've done, Sasha. I was wanting a cup of coffee and

I would probably have phoned my husband, but his phone was in our bedroom and he was downstairs. So I was thinking, it's too far to yell. So I created a video that said I wanted a cup of coffee and I cast it to the living room TV. Oh, so it played on the TV that you wanted a cup of coffee. That's genius.

Some of these things are not lazy. They're actually just really smart. That's genius. That wasn't just really smart. That's genius. That wasn't my laziest. Oh, wow. Let's go there. Let's go to your laziest. Another one was years ago.

I had a hard week at work, and I was in bed on a Friday night having a glass of red wine. And I went to put it on the bedside table, and it spilled on the carpet. And I just sort of figured it out I just spent about five minutes figuring out if I could because it's obviously going to stain the cream carpet so I would have to move the bed maybe get different bedside tables because these ones had legs and then possibly buy a mat to cover them in minutes figuring this out I thought I know I should probably just get up and clean. That's probably the best option right now.

I really appreciate you sharing this morning, Sasha. Thanks so much for your call. No worries. You're going to have a great one. We'll text here, 4487 from Amy. I rang downstairs to tell my mum to turn the TV volume down instead of getting up and walking down and telling her. That's kind of smart though again, isn't it?

Yeah. Catriona, you're on. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Laziest thing you've done. Good morning. Hello. Hello, Catriona. Hi.

Hi, welcome. Is it Katrina? It's Catriona. Oh, Catriona. Catriona. It's lovely to have you on. I thought Jono was stuffing it up. No, as you were.

Just trying to make Katrina sound a little bit exotic. Laziest thing you've done? I drive my daughter to kindy and it's three houses down. Three houses down. But when I pull out of kindy, there's a car behind me and the same car has to stop

when I pull into kindy. It's quite embarrassing. Three houses. I know. It's quite embarrassing. Three houses. I know, it's really bad. I'm not going to throw stones. It would take longer to get her in the car, surely. She's pretty good at getting herself in. Oh, yeah.

That's impressive. Donna's texting as well, just to make you feel a little bit better about life, Catriona. She's like, I drive to the liquor store, which is next door to my house. You ought to get the bottles home, right? I appreciate your calls and texts. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Of course, Jack Black, you would have heard him on the show, surprised me over the weekend.

And you would have seen him probably on social media as well. We gave him a New Zealand Warriors top, and he did a little video wearing the top. It went viral. It was crazy. Yo, what's up? I'm Jack Black, and I'm here to say up the waz. Good on him.

Good on him. He didn't know what he was saying. He didn't know what it meant. That's true. He put the top on. It was pretty cool. He seemed really happy. To get the top as well, you can catch him in Kung Fu Panda 4,

which is in cinemas just in time for school holidays. You've got some double passes if you want to win one. You can text us through right now. Now, we've just learned of a trans-Tasman shirt scandal. Now, this is dating back to, you remember when we invented the Pavlova? The Aussies rolled in. They claimed it as their own. Do you remember when we invented Russell Crowe?

He was made. He was made here. Our precious parts. They clanged together and produced Russell Crowe? He was made with our precious parts. They clanged together and produced Russell Crowe. They stole him. Now, Ben, what have you just seen? Oh, okay. So Jack Black jumping off the Warriors bandwagon, maybe.

Wearing a Penrith Panthers top from the NRL. Now, Penrith Panthers player Scott Sorensen interviewed Jack Black about Kung Fu Panda 4 and gave him a Panthers top. Have a listen. We'd love to present you with that. Is it triple XL? I'm a big boy. Chuck it on.

I'm a big boy. So he's wearing a Penis Panthers top. Yeah. Now hold on, this is very similar to when we handed a Warriors top. The catchphrase is up da wars and we'd love to give you a Warriors top. Are you kidding me? Is that okay? That is so sweet. I'm putting it on. I hope it's triple XL. The catchphrase is up da wars And we'd love to give you a Warriors top Are you kidding me? Is that okay?

That is so sweet I'm putting it on I hope it's XXXL Are you going to chuck it on now? I actually think it is Jack Black Beautiful He's in a Warriors top Up da wars

Yeah, so Jack Black, he's Do we have a timeline? I'm not sure Has he cheated on us? Or was it prior to? I need to investigate that Because I don't mind if he's cheated on Penrith with us. I think he might have cheated on Penrith with us.

Oh, that's fine. Yeah, that's fine. I think Penrith, they haven't released the video until just recently. So it feels like it's just happened afterwards. Are we the new girlfriend or are we the exes? I feel like we're the new girlfriend. He's up to us. The younger, better model.

He's up to us all day. And to be fair to Jack Black, he probably has no idea what other team he's got. No. He'll put on a top. He's up to us. The younger, better model. He's up to us all day. And to be fair to Jack Black, he probably has no idea what other teams do. No. He'll put on a top, he'll promote a movie, whatever you want him to do, mate.

Yeah. The Warriors and Panthers do play May 19, so they're just saying in the New Zealand Herald, gives them a few months to decide which team he's going to go for

in that big game. But he's got a top for both teams. And he's living here, isn't he? He's filming Minecraft. Well, then he's going to favour us. Well, if you want

those Kung Fu Panda tickets, check Kung Fu Panda 4487, eh?