Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - January 19 - Bucket Hats, Russell Howard, What Are Your Predictions For 2021?

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

Nau mai haere mai ki tēnei kōnae ipurangi - welcome to the podcast! Today we chatted with British comedian Russell Howard, who is currently in managed isolation ahead of his tour in Aotearoa this month. It was a hilarious chat and definitely a taste of what to expect on his tour. He also revealed what it's like on the frontline of the Covid-19 fight in the UK, with his wife working in the medical sector over there. It's also day 2 of our brand new game 5 words for $5,000. Will Sandra score the $5K by matching her 5 words with Jono's in our word association game?! Jono slept through a riot over summer, so we want to hear what you've slept through!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Day two back for 2021 for us and it was a fun show. Russell Howard joined us, UK comedian. Very, very funny guy. He's in quarantine in New Zealand at the moment. I think he gets out today. And he's been two weeks in quarantine. I like

talking to people, because we've talked to a few people who've been stuck in hotel rooms for a fortnight. I like getting them at the back end. Because you're like, they've been through the rollercoaster of emotions. I imagine day six, day seven, you'd be thinking, you know, you'd be like, well, there's still a long way to go. I was reading a story before, a poor lady in Australia. She got to the end of her two weeks and then there was a little bit of a COVID outbreak within her hotel.

She had been given chocolates from the hotel. She'd done five COVID tests and been negative. She was all ready to go out day 14 and then like, ah, sorry, there's been a bit of a COVID break in the hotel. Everyone's going to have to get re-quarantined. But she's like, I got departure chocolates. I know. I was given a box of chocolates. Two more weeks, she had to go back in another facility.

And she found this out on the last day. On the last day, like an hour or so before she was about to go out. You're like, oh, the poor thing. You'd be like, just end it. End me now. So that's a month of your life you have to spend in a hotel. And it's, I haven't done it, so it's hard to say what it would be like. But you're like, it's only a hotel. And it's, I haven't done it, so it's hard to say what it would be like,

but you're like, it's only a month, it's only two weeks, but I imagine when you're doing it, it probably feels like the longest, it'd be like when you're sitting watching a sexy saucy scene in a movie with your parents. It's the longest possible time

that can be on offer. Ben Boyce, day two. You said you've had a couple of awkward interactions around the office with people. Yes, I want to talk about that tomorrow. Just, you know, the Happy New Year's back to work. And in friends as well, you know, when you haven't seen them for a while,

you're like, Happy New Year's. And the sort of, you know, are we hugging? What are we doing? Is there a kiss on the cheek? I want to talk about that tomorrow on the show, actually. And there's an order of events that you need to, you know, check off your list of conversation how'd you go

where was you did you go away when did you start back and when do you stop saying happy new year you know like when when does that stop

like can we because people say oh it's the first time you see the person well what if I don't see someone until like September what happens then

but we've been doing this we've been working for a while and I'm sure a lot of people listening to have been working for a while and every time you go back to the office you have the same conversation at the beginning of the year it's like do we have to doing this, we've been working for a while, and I'm sure a lot of people listening to have been working for a while, and every time you go back to the office, you have the same conversation at the beginning of the year.

It's like, do we have to do this dance again? It's the same dance. I'm just trying to keep it to a minimum at the moment. And leading into the holidays, it's the same dance. Same conversation. Oh, what are you doing in the years? Oh, I've got plans for this. Oh, you're doing it. We bookend December, January with the exact same conversations. Every year we do it, New Zealand.

Now, enjoy the podcast. Go and have a great day. Look after yourself. And remember to stay safe. Don't do anything dangerous. All right. Okay. Keep it safe today.

That's great advice. Enjoy the podcast. Two dads just trying to fill some air time. Some may say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some air time for us. That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hats. Now, we've spoken a little bit in the past about the bucket hat. Now, I tell you, the two things that have had a lot of lip service on this program

has been an ill-thought present that Ben bought for his wife, a frying pan. Yeah. That's had a lot of air time. Yeah. And, yes, this bucket hat, which... Now, they used to be trendy sort of back in the day, and then they sort of weren't as trendy, and now they're fashionable all over again.

You'll see a lot of people out and about wearing bucket hats. Children, usually. Yeah, yeah. My daughter loves a bucket hat. Her friends will go off in bucket hats. At the 660 concert, we just played 660 then, but over the weekend, a lot of people wearing bucket hats. Bucket loads of bucket hats.

Bucket loads of bucket hats. Bucket loads of bucket hats. And I always like to declare that three to four years ago I turned up at our old place of work in a bucket hat. This was in the non-fashionable bucket hat era. Listen, I'm not Kanye. You know, he came out with those

ugly Crocs last year. We'll be wearing them in about six to twelve months. But I got Ben Workplace bullied me out of a bucket hat. He mocked me mercilessly. I only had one day on my head. It was a denim one. Millennial Max is with us right now so you're a lot more trendier than we are.

It was a denim black bucket hat and when he wore it with headphones it was sort of just... They're not conducive to headphone wear. Down over your face. You look like a farmer an urban farmer and it didn't go well

and from that day forward my head has not donned Oh you've never seen it again since My dad actually uses it when he comes up Oh he's still got the bucket He uses it for gardening I mean John Pryor he's a boomer

he'll put anything on his head he'd wear curtains on his head so he's got the bucket. He's now the owner of the bucket. Yeah. But I have to, and I have apologised to you because, you know,

they've got quite trendy. With your bucket hat in hand, you've apologised. And I was in the mall at the weekend with my daughters and one of them, in particular Sienna, she loves, you know,

she loves the bucket hat and she's been wearing a lot of them over summer and she's like, can I get a new bucket hat? And I was like, all right, well maybe we can get a bucket hat. Good for sun coverage a lot of them over summer and she's like, can I get a new bucket hat? And I was like, all right, well, maybe we can get a bucket hat. Good for sun coverage too, sun protection coverage, 360 degree coverage. They're also

vision impaired though when driving. Just be careful, it can slip down over your eyes. So I've got the bucket hat with us right now. This is the bucket hat that I bought for her at the moment. It's a black bucket hat with sort of yellow smiley faces all over it. There's still like emoji sort of thing. And I was like, maybe I could get a bucket hat too. Oh, did you give it a road test? Yes, I was like, maybe. Please don't.

Back in the day, I was like, I could pull off a bucket hat. And I put this bucket hat on in the store and I was like, uh-oh, no, no, no. Please put it on for me now. He's got it in his hand now. But it's like, all of a sudden I was like, I thought I could do it. Where you've gone wrong is there's too much design.

Oh, dear God. Like, I was thinking today, I was like, I can wear a bucket hat and look cool. And now it just looks like an overgrown lampshade or something. It does. Well, take a photo and put it up on the... And I was like, what happened to me? Put it up on Instagram.

Well, I don't know. Wear a bucket hat. The internet needs to see that. That's great. You look like a 40-something party pill dealer from Rhythm and Vines who's trying to blend in with the kids. So, bugger that. It's not for me. Hey, guys.

What are you guys doing? Do you want to do some planking with the headphones? It's so much worse. I'll try. Put the headphones on. Come in. I don't want you to take that hat off your head all day. I want to see it on. I don't think I can.

It's kind of stuck. Hey, next on the show, what Jono slept through. Hey, Max, can you just turn that light off in the corner, mate? That lamp? Oh, no, it's Ben. Just standing awkwardly in the corner of the studio with my arms down looking like a lampshade. Experts in semi-accurate, half-remembered information.

Vaguely known information, but maybe not correct. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Now, 2020, as I said before, very unusual year

for the world, to say the least. Who could have predicted what happened in 2020? So many things happened. In Jan, you know, it also started with Australian bushfires

and we're like, this is the craziest event ever. Yeah. And then COVID rolled out, then Ellen DeGeneres started bullying people. I can't stop. Megan dragged Harry away

from his grand, his family. We had elections, the crazy elections in the US and New Zealand. I thought we were all going to be stoned in December. That didn't come through. Yeah, well, yeah,

through the referendum, the President of the United States got COVID. It's such a crazy year for the world. We were talking to the editor of The Herald, Shane Currie. Wonderful man. John O'Meara on the hits. John O'Meara on the hits.

We were meant to start on another radio station. But he was like, I got to the end of 2019 saying, you're never going to see another news year like that. And then 2020 happened. And he's like, I don't know what's going to happen in 2021. And neither do we. So that's why we got the rock solid advice of a psychic. Yeah.

A phone psychic. One that you pay a dollar value with that ends in 99 cents per minute. And one of those phone lines. I haven't heard this. Producer Humphries, B Humps, came in last night and recorded this. How are you going to explain this 0900 number to management? Late night call to an 0900 number from the studio. How many psychic lines did he call?

There's like nine numbers here. They all last for about, you know, two to three minutes. Yeah, you've got to get very short advice and predictions from the psychic. Anyway, here's a bit of a montage of Deborah. Is it Deborah, Producer Humphrey? Deborah's predictions for this year. I do have a feeling there's going to be another little lockdown. It won't be a big one.

It may last maybe two weeks at the most because of the new variant. But I think they'll close it down quite quickly. I have seen with people's readings that this year's a lucky year. It doesn't mean we're all going to win the lotto. It just means that it's going to be a lot better, a lot easier life than last year was. Think if I can imagine who is going to win the America's Cup. I have a toss-up between England and New Zealand,

but I think that international travel is around October, November, December, January for sure. Well, there we go. Some sweeping statements. Some of those you're like, yeah, I can see that happening. But I always get to the end of a psychic reading, and you know, if you're into tarot cards and psychic readings, then good for you if that makes you happy and content.

But I'm always like, they just hand out such vague information that it could or could not happen. Yeah, but they've sort of, yeah, I guess you're right. But they have said it, the lockdown. She's a lockdown. She's committed to a lockdown. You know, in this period. So, yeah, so we thought we'd today give everyone the chance right now

on 0800THETHATS to make some predictions for New Zealand, for the world, for whatever. And at the end of the year, we can play these back and go, oh, yay, Carol was right. It did happen. And ourselves, we'll put it on the air right now. We can say some predictions as well. And we can rub this in anyone's face when it happens later in the year.

Listen, I'm going to make a bold prediction. I am going to predict that Ben Boyce isn't going to see out the full term of his contract. You going to roll me? Due to HR reasons. He's a hands-on employee and it's going to get you in trouble, buddy. It's going to come back to bite you. Oh, there you go.

We'll find out if Jono's right. Jono Pryor, I'm going to predict this is the year he gets a hair transplant, guys. The bull jokes, is that enough? It's all got too much. Yeah. I'll go a couple more, slightly more serious ones,

or ones that I think, you know, without being joking, I reckon a major international artist is going to come here to New Zealand, quarantine for two weeks, and then do concerts all around New Zealand. I'll go, let's go Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber. There you go.

I'll throw it out there because it's one of the only places in the world they can perform. Maybe they could come over here, quarantine for two weeks and then have big concerts, you know, in every one of the big markets.

How cool are you going to look if this comes off? Like you are going to be, we'll just play this audio over and over and over and be like, he predicted it. Yeah, well that's,

yeah, I'm like, but you've said it with confidence too. You've said it with such, almost an air of arrogance that he knew this was going to happen. No, I don't. I'm just like, you're putting something out there. Okay, But you said it with confidence, too. You said it with almost an air of arrogance. No, I don't. I'm just like, I'm putting something out there. Okay, 0800 the hits.

What are your predictions for 2021? Actually, Gavin's on the phone with an early one. Morning, Gavin. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Kick it off. What have you got? Well, my prediction is that Joe Biden will stand down within six months, put in the Fox president to be the first female black person up for presidency.

Oh, Kamala Harris. Or Joe Biden might be dead in six months. Those are the two options. Let's head to Alice in Auckland. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Alice. Your 2021 predictions. Thanks for having me, guys. I reckon that Stuart Ireland is going to link up with Tasmania

and create a little bubble. Oh, Stuart Island and Tasmania. Yeah, a little travel bubble between the two. A specific breed of traveller. Yeah, the nine people that live at Stuart Island all fly over at once. I was driving into work this morning. I saw an ad on a bus shelter for Tasmania. They're advertising it as a tourism destination already. Really? Yeah, I was driving into work this morning and I saw an ad on a bus shelter for Tasmania they're advertising

it as a tourism destination already. Really? Yeah, there you are, you're on it. And it's called the Arts End of the World.

Come to Tasmania, the Arts End of the World. Oh, because it's quite artsy. Yeah, I thought that was clever. That's good. Good on you,

Alice, thank you so much, you have a great day. Thanks guys, you too. Mike from Tauranga, welcome Mike, lovely to hear your voice in Jan.

Yeah, and happy new year to you guys. Hope you've been safe. Oh, good. I'm surprised you came back in 2021, Mike, and so are we. We're surprised we're back as well. But what's your prediction? Well, I predict houses will go down about 20%. Houses will go down 20%.

Oh. And I predict that the Bitcoin will go a little bit crazy. And to all the people that are out there buying these houses, I don't think it's anyone else but first-home buyers. I think first-home buyers have been sucked in with the low interest rates, and I've got to remember, if it goes up 2%, that's probably what you're paying now. So, you know, it wasn't like that when I was growing up,

and I'm not that old. My first house was $13,000 in Auckland. In Auckland? $13,000? Wow. That was in 1982. It's a wild time, the 80s. It's a wild time.

You got a house in Auckland for $13,000. I also had a house I bought in 1992 in a place called Point England for $90,000. I sold it in 2003 for $265,000. Jeez. So I think the young ones have just got to stop panicking and buying. It's the first time buyers is causing all this chaos. So once they stop, it'll all get back to reality and something's only worth what someone will pay.

Well, listen, there's some sound financial advice from a guy called Mike in Toto. I love it. That's some really good advice. Appreciate your call this morning, Mike. Have a great day. There you go. I'm investing all my money in Bitcoin now.

He's into Christchurch. Mike told me to. Julie, you're on the air. What are your 2021 predictions, matey? Good morning, boys. investing all my money in Bitcoin now. He's heading to Christchurch. Mike told me to. Julie, you're on the air. What are your 2021 predictions, matey? Good morning, boys. My predictions is that Harry and Megan are going to split and Harry's going to have to move back to the UK, but he'll have to move in with his grandma

because he's going to have a five-month cottage. Back with grandma, I love it. Come back with his red bushy tail between his legs. Thank you very much, Julie. And we'll head to Eka Tahuna. Take one last call. Mark, it's 2021. What's going to be happening before December?

By mid-November, I think the only living things on Earth will be myself and the viruses, and I've got this from a very reliable source that I cannot reveal the identity of. Oh, see, okay, that's, wow. The reliable source was a bottle of Watties. That was the source. No, it's a much stronger source than that.

Heinz. Sriracha. I can't reveal the nature of what it was. No, fair enough. Okay, well, interesting predictions. Okay, Mark's going to be the only one. No one will ever know either, except for me and the virus. Well, true, you'll be like, I was right, but I can't tell anyone.

Just be you, that bottle of sauce and the virus. Yeah, we'll be fine. We'll be fine. You'll be fine. Enjoy it, Mark. Have a good one. It'll be the last time we speak. You have a great year.

No, no, we've got to, no, Ben. Oh, OK, no, that's good. Plenty of time, yeah. From stealing Mike Hosking's car to stealing the hearts of New Zealand. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Actual hearts being not bestowed. Now, we're very excited to be talking to this guy, Russell Howard. He's one of the UK's most successful comedians.

You would have seen him on TV in New Zealand or on Netflix. He's got a massive UK show at the moment called the Russell Howard Hour where he makes jokes about the news, including things like conspiracy theories about the Queen being the cannibal. There are people out there who actually believe that the Queen being the cannibal. There are people out there who actually believe that the Queen is a cannibal. Of all the theories, how can that be true? How can you be a cannibal and knight somebody?

Imagine that, just holding a knife. Oh, God. So tasty. Must not eat that flesh. God save this man for tea. He'd be nice with gravy. Nom, nom, nom. Yeah!

Russell Howard is very funny. He's quarantining right now in New Zealand for two weeks to perform his show Respite nationwide, Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch, Tauranga and Dunedin. I think he's on Zoom right now. He's on Zoom right now. It's a pleasure to see you, Russell. Mate, I'm so glad of the company.

I've been in a hotel room for 13 days now. Every single moment like this is an absolute blessing. You look a little frazzled, if I could say. We haven't spoken face to face before, but you look like a man who's spent nearly two weeks in a hotel room, Russell. Yeah, well, I can only show you this shot. This is all I'm wearing. Just a T-shirt.

Just a T-shirt. I'm walking around in a T-shirt with socks on like a French artist. Winnie the Pooh. He's painted the wall with feces. Is that all? But, weirdly, in two days' time, I get to do a gig. So this all dissipates. All this is kind of gone.

But clearly, I'm going to be a bit too much for the crowd. Because they just want a show. And I'm going to come with, like, an intensity of a man. In a hotel room for two weeks. The whole idea of just being in a hotel room for two weeks. The whole idea of just being in a hotel room for two weeks, it's like this,

it's like the ultimate theme park. You know what I mean? It's like, kind of like, and it's like I'm stuck on, you know when you're about to get on the roller coaster?

I really hope this country doesn't disappoint you when you get out. You've really built it up. Oh, New Zealand. Oh, this wasn't what I wanted. We've got Russell Howard

with us, one of the UK's biggest comedians. It's really awesome to have him in the country. He's just about to hit the road when he gets out of quarantine, which I think is later today or tomorrow, or right around New Zealand on his tour called Respite, which is nationwide.

Now, he's over here. Russell, you're over here, but your wife is still back in the UK, and I understand she's in the medical fraternity. Yeah, my wife's a doctor. She works on a COVID ward. Yeah, she's an absolute saint. And yeah, she's in the thick of it.

Interestingly, she was meant to be taking a sabbatical from work to come on the world tour with me last year. And yeah, this is how great she is. She was like, I'm going to have to go back to work. So she didn't have to, but she kind of knew she had to run back into the fire. It was pretty amazing. And you went and lived at your parents' house, right?

You guys sort of like, no, separated for a good reason. Not actually, you know, just so she could have space to kind of work and be safe, right? Basically what happened is we had two friends of hers both live with elderly relatives and right at the beginning of the pandemic there was that kind of super fear that if anyone got it and it got near anyone elderly you could sort of kill them so they came to live with us and they then i went to my mom and dad's for like five weeks just so that they would have a place where they felt kind of secure and they could all talk about medical stuff

without having a moron comedian in the corner. Have you tried bleep? So I then went to my mum and dad's and then I got a TV show that I was doing in my childhood bedroom whilst that was going on which was fun but bleak because normally when you finish a TV show there's a green room and you have a few beers and you chat with the guests and you chat with the people you made the show with I would end my show and I would leave my room and my mum would be there with shepherd's pie

sit there so I would instead of a green room i was watching a 65 year old woman eat mashed potato and that is a poor second i imagine being married to a doctor so it would constantly put your profession in perspective you're like oh look you're saving lives i'm just i'm doing jokes out here yeah that's what's so funny about it is that you that you when we were at home together like if you were a carpenter or you were a software designer at least your partner can then look and go oh he's he's making something like when you're a comedian and you're being watched you just sort of sat there going oh yeah i'm probably going to say that, probably say that thing I just thought of. What, is this it?

And you're like, yeah, yeah. So I just thought of another one. But you've had a couple of massive shows. You've got one at the moment, Russell Howard Hour. I was reading Ed Sheeran was a guest on your show and you had to get him wrapped up nice and early for a very unusual reason. Well, he kind of went, oh, I'm a big fan of your show.

I was like, oh, thanks, man. I said, do you want to come and do it? And he was like, yeah, all right. Well, what about Tuesday? And I was like, fine. He goes, yeah, can I come a bit earlier? I was like, yeah, fine, whatever you want to do. So we snuck him in early because he had to get back because his wife was making pasta.

You could sort of see he had that lovely look in his eye of like can we wrap it up there was something so lovely about it that you just don't it doesn't matter the level you get to do you know what i mean that that even like you know the biggest pop star in the world is going mate seriously because she's got some pesto on the go there was something so sweet it's a lovely bloke, man. I do love how Ed Sheeran is that prepared with his weekly meal times. He's got pasta Tuesday booked out four days before.

He's got concerts for 100,000 people to do. Yeah, exactly. Hurry up, she's making a chicken ticket. We need to really do shape of you. I can't, mate. She's actually made the naan bread. She's actually made it. Russell Howard with us about to hit the road across New Zealand.

And I tell you what, you are going to some really interesting places, Russell, some of which may question whether you should have spent two weeks in a hotel room for. But regardless, you're going to them. And it's a great time of year to be driving around and travelling around the country too with the weather. This is it mate to be honest we had so many kind of like people getting contacts

saying I'll come and do a gig come and do a gig here so why not there's nothing to do in the UK do you know what I mean so I just thought I'd just have a wonder about

the idea of just being able to be in a pub and talk to a stranger and have a degree of kind of just everyday normality almost yeah yeah but but you know what i mean it's not even anything specific it's just like i don't know the potential of the everyday i was thinking about what i missed i remember i was in sweden last year with my mate and we were in a restaurant and he's got a a five-year-old daughter and he goes i'm just gonna go to the toilet i was like okay cool and um he went to the toilet she hadn't said a word

to me and then she sat right next to me and then she just looks at him and goes would you like to see me dance and i was like no no she jumped on the table and started dancing he comes back out of the toilet and it just looked terrible but the point is it was just that funny moment that happened and then I could just talk about it on stage

in Sweden that night and do you know what I mean it's sort of you realise that we're so devoid of real experience because everything is going through

avatars yeah I can't wait. I'm getting slightly evangelistic about it. No, I imagine you would. Just so you know, just in case when you get out too, we do frown upon underage tabletop dancing in New Zealand. I'm making up with that. Just so you know.

Russell Howen, it's so good catching up with you. We're so thankful that you're here in New Zealand. Have a great time out of quarantine and around the country. I hope everyone comes and sees you. It's going to be great. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hex. The Hex. I've just gone 7.45 which means we need to play this.

Five words for 5k on the Hex. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It is for Jono and Ben's five words for $5,000. $7.45 each morning.'s five words for $5,000. $7.45 each morning, your chance to win $5,000 cash. Choose which one of the two of us you think would think similar along the same lines as you. That person will go into a soundproof booth.

We'll tell you five words to you. You say the first five words that pop into your head, word association, nice and simple. If those five words match up with the person who comes out of the soundproof booth, you win five grand. Sandra, you're on New Zealand's breakfast. I bet this is a dream come true for you. Isn't it?

Absolutely. Woohoo. Wouldn't that be nice? Five grand. 2021 goals already set for Sandra now. Oh, no. Second day back at work. It would be lovely.

I can plan my next holiday. What do you do, Sandra? I work at a little children's hospital. Oh, good on you. Good on you. Doing far better work in this world than Ben and me who just spout off our opinions and meaningless words into a microphone. You make us laugh, so that's one good thing.

Oh, thank you, Sandy. You're playing to our egos. You're playing to our fragile egos. But there's no way really that we can help you out here. Hopefully we're connected. So who are you going to pick, Sandra? I'm going for Jono. Ooh, second day in a row.

Now, I let down poor Mandy yesterday. Oh, should I change to Ben? Option's yours. I don't want to sway you around. No, come on, Jono. Okay, Jono. Okay, so Jono's going to... We can do this.

I'm off to the soundproof booth, which has just been installed in the studio, and you can only imagine what despicable things are going to take place in the soundproof booth during the Christmas party. But for now... But quietly take place too. So John

is making his way to the corner of the studio where you have a box, a proper soundproof booth there. He's shutting the door right down behind him and we can actually lock him in there if we want. There's probably no point because we do need to get him out. Unfortunately, we do. If only Lee Hart or a better broadcaster could come in right now.

Okay, so, Sandra, I'm going to say five words to you. You just say the first thing that pops into your head after each word, all right? Okay, hot. Dog. Okay, hot dog. Tea. Spoon. Spoon. Dog. Okay, hot dog. Tea. Spoon. Spoon.

Saturday. Night. Skate. Board. And movie. Theatre. Okay, so there are your five words. If those five words match up with Jono,

where I get them out of the soundproof booth, you will win $5,000. All right, Jono, you can come back out. I'm waving towards you now. Come out, come out. You can come out. Okay. Tell you what,

there is a serious lack of oxygen in the soundproof booth. I was starting to lose consciousness. But yes, well, how did Sandra go? She went great. Do you feel we could be seeing, we're going to sync up like two flatmates? I feel like a couple you will, but I don't know.

It'll be interesting to see if we get that far. I don't know. I don't know. All right. Okay. So, okay, I'm going to go through. $5,000 on the line here, Sandra. Here we go.

Come on. Hot. Cold. No. No? No. Hot. Potato? Potato? Potato? No. No? No. Hot potato? Potato, no.

Hot bottle? Hot water bottle? No. Hot weather? No. Hot chili? Hot dog? Yes.

It was hot dog. Hot dog. Sandra, I'm so sorry. Never mind. Go through a couple of the other words. Okay. Tea? Coffee?

No. Spoon? Saturday? Sunday? No. Skate? Board? I'm so sorry Never mind Go through a couple Of the other words Okay Tea Coffee No spoon Saturday Sunday No Skate Board Yes And movie Star

Oh Sam I'm shocking at this game No it's not It's just the way you think But it's hard It's $5,000 on the line This is just quickly Turning into

Jono disappoints Listeners Daily at 7.45 Never mind Thanks for the chance. You almost won, but pretty much you didn't. Another person's chance tomorrow. Have a great day, Sandra. Cheers, have a good day. See you guys.

Alright, five words for 5k. It's harder than you think. A simple game of words association. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now listen, I've done something three times as of late and I've just been informed by Jen, my

lovely wife, that I'm committing a social crime of sorts. Oh, okay. What are you doing? And I feel really bad about it. And I just wanted to get your opinion on this too. So 0800 the hits is the telephone number and you can text 4487. Love to get your calls and texts. Is this where you

make a prediction of what if it's a boy or a girl with babies? Because I've seen you do that one before a couple of times and get it wrong and that's awkward. Oh, what do you mean? Who's this little fella? They're like it's a girl. That's always it. Who did that happen with? Oh, Josh Thompson.

Was it Josh Thompson? The comedian? We met his middle-aged man. Hello, little fella. He's like, it's a girl. Yeah. There's no worse moment, is there? No, he's just like a cute baby. We were talking at the end of last year about a friend of ours

who went up and started rubbing some poor lady's belly going, oh, no, no, no. And she wasn't. That happened to another mate who his wife works with him. She said it to one of the customers, got another one on the way? And she's like, no.

Oh, God. Have you done anything like this? No, nothing like that. I hope it's not as bad as that, but this is why I need your opinion on it. I'm turning up uninvited at someone's house. Like I don't text or pre-call, I just turn up. They live nearby.

They're a street away. How well do you know these people? They're friends? They're friends. Yeah, they're friends. But I just turn up. I don't go, hey, I'm coming round. Nothing's pre-organised.

I'm like, hey, I'm in the neighbourhood. I'll just turn up and have a conversation. And I quite like it because, you know, nothing like the startled look of someone's eyes when an uninvited guest turns up. Can you turn up uninvited to someone's house? Yes. You can, Millennial Max?

I would be happy with you turning up to my house if my house was clean. That's the thing. I feel like you need... Do you need prep time? I would like some prior warning from Jono Pryor. Yeah, just something to start, you know. Pretend I put some pictures up of you

or something in the house or things like that. Take the darts out of the photo each year. Yeah, things like that. But maybe in a flatting situation, I wouldn't have cared. Maybe it's your life stage. Maybe you're late teens, early 20s. You can just turn up.

Everyone coming around, people bowling around. And there's certain types of people I feel like at a group of friends that would be fine with that. But others would be like, oh, no, I couldn't do that. Oh, no, they would need some prior warning. So I'll wait on with that. Can you turn up uninvited to a friend's house? Ben, have you done it before?

Have you uninvited yourself? I've done it a couple of times, awkwardly. Like a few years ago, obviously, in mornings of late, you know, like when you've had bigger nights when you're in your 20s and stuff, and then you turn up in the morning, and that's always an interesting one. You're like, hey, I thought you'd be up.

They're like, no, no, we're, okay, that's, you know. So that's an awkward situation. Yeah, Millennial Max, last time you turned up uninvited in someone's house? Probably not that long ago, like last week. Yeah, but you'd bring over a bottle of kombucha or something, some avocados. You know, millennials, they've got an open door policy. At some stage you get all finicky about people turning up uninvited.

I dropped my car at a friend's flat, just turned up, dropped the keys in their place. Yeah, I've done that quite often. Do you find the people get a little bit rattled when you show up or not? I do, yeah, actually in hindsight now, the three times I've done it, they've been like, oh, oh, hello. They've given that, oh, you're here. And then, but then they've sort of, oh, I suppose you want to

join a drink or something. Like, I feel like I've inconvenienced them. During the conversation, you can see in their eyes, they know they could be doing more important things around the house, but instead they're having to converse with me. And many texts coming through going, it's a complete social crime. No one turns up

uninvited. Oh, right. It's 100% no according to the listeners of The Hits. Oh, don't do it. Okay. They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on The Hits only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits.

This is some spy entertainment news. Spy. The what's up. Spy.co.nz. It's a pleasure to be back. We're hanging out with you guys. And Ben's fingers, I tell you what, they've been working overtime this morning. Not only keeping me happy, but also using them to copy and paste celebrity filth from trashy gossip websites.

Here he is with Spy. Now this morning TVNZ have confirmed some exciting news for Drag Race fans, the fans of RuPaul's Drag Race. It's a big show, huge, a great show. 13 seasons on Netflix. It's also on TVNZ On Demand and a new season is coming

to TVNZ as well as Netflix and it's going to be filmed here in New Zealand. It's RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under, and it features queens from Australia and New Zealand, and it's all going to be filmed actually in New Zealand. So how cool is that? He's currently quarantining in New Zealand, just about to film the show.

So it's awesome. That's incredible, because New Zealand's probably one of the only countries that they could film TV shows in situation. I know a lot of the chat shows are doing things over Zoom, etc. But, you know, to have a studio and contestants all in the same room, you wouldn't be able to do that in America at the moment, I wouldn't imagine.

No, you're right. Or am I just making that up? Oh, no, you're probably... There'd be very strict conditions as well if they could. You're right. And there's always, I guess, the worry it's going to shut down at a moment's notice. Oh, we spoke to Sam Neill, didn't we? And he'd just got back from filming Jurassic

World in Europe. And he got tested. He got a rot up his nose like 49 times or something during the whole. He said the protocol was ludicrous. Yeah, they spent millions on just basically creating their own bubble so they could film this, you know, this movie in.

So yeah, it's amazing the lengths you have to go to this year. Spoiler alert, I reckon those dinosaurs are going to be up to some shenanigans in Jurassic World. They're coming back again. And Matt Damon, he has landed in Sydney for Taika Waititi's brand new movie, Thor Love and Thunder. He's got a role in this movie.

No one knows exactly what he's going to be doing but he's landed there and he's quarantining for two weeks before he can start filming there. Is Hemsworth still Thor? I would imagine so. Or has he been swapped out for Matt Damon and awkwardly it's all being filmed in his country? Well, you know. Oh really? You have to do it here? Not only do I get recast.

I don't know if that's quite the case. We were lucky enough to talk to Matt Damon once. We had like one of those interview junkets where you had three minutes. We were in LA, and normally there's only one person that would interview someone like Matt Damon, so there was only one chair,

and you, old mate, you just sit straight down in the chair, and I had to stand behind you. You were left awkwardly hunched over, weren't you? Like the hunchback of movie junkets. It looked like we were sort of connected together, which Matt Damon enjoyed because he was in that movie,

Stuck on You, which was a movie about Siamese twins, and he had this to say. Okay, come back. I really feel like I'm tacked on to the end of this. Now you literally look like Siamese twins. When was that? Stuck on You? Stuck on You. You did that movie.

This is Stuck on You, too. Look at us. This is not an interview. It's actually a pitch for you, Mark. I just had to lurk in the background like was that guy meant to be there or not? If he was a true gentleman Matt Damon would have stood up and given you his chair.

He's the movie star. Turns out there's only two chairs in Los Angeles and we had them both booked out. That's why RuPaul's in the country filming the show. Sure, a chair shortage. Let's not worry about the pandemic, let's get America some more chairs. Sure, a chair shortage Let's not worry about the pandemic Let's get America some more chairs Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone It's New Zealand's breakfast

Jono and Bam on the hits Now over the holidays You slept through something It was quite a big news event It was a big news event I didn't even know it had taken place I just woke up the next morning And go oh this seems like a little devastation

That took place overnight Didn't think too much of it. But it turns out there was a riot outside my window where we were full-blown riot. You know, police cars, there was a helicopter, it was all go. It was a helicopter? I didn't wake up once. Slept through it.

I pride myself on narcolepsy. Could fall asleep at any moment. I'd be a great member of the Avengers. Alright guys, time for a nap Nap man It was all over the news right? It was yeah it was some riots that they had in in Whangamata

Well I was tired you know I don't wake up for much. No. It turns out I don't even wake up for a riot but it was literally probably I'm saying outside my room 10 to 20 metres So all this commotion right there Sirens, probably, I'm saying outside my room, 10 to 20 metres. So all this commotion right there. Sirens, helicopters, loud noises, screaming. You name it.

Did anyone else in the family wake up? Like, what was going on? Or did everyone just sleep through it? Everyone just slept through it. The whole household. Sleep like babies. Get up in the morning and you're like, wow. A lot went on over the last few hours.

So we want to check this open 0800 the hits 4487. If you need to text us this morning on New Zealand's Breakfast, what have you slept through? Have you slept through the birth of your child? Did you sleep in for a wedding date? Maybe you missed an important job interview because you slept through. Give us a call right now. I can't imagine you're much of a sleeper, Ben.

No. He's always on edge, ready to pounce. I'm like up in all sorts of, like, the door creaking. I'm like a meerk edge. Ready to pounce. The door creaks. I'm like a meerkat. Ready to go. Just looking around. Always worried. Andrew, what have you slept through? We'd love to hear from you this morning. I think we've got some

hell pizza to give away for some of our favourite calls. Let's head to Jessie. Welcome, Jessie. Lovely to have you on the show this morning. You slept through what, matey? I was off to Waiheke to meet some friends for a wine tour and was meant to be up at 4.30, but I slept three hours over and I slept through a couple of texts,

49 missed calls, and they ordered some Ubers to come and knock on the door to wake me up and I didn't wake up. Mind you, who's getting up at 4.30 to go on a wine tour? Yeah, we were meant to get on the 8 o'clock ferry and I woke up at 7.30 to miss that.

And so honed up to Auckland, got a speed ticket on the way. I was an absolute catastrophe. But yeah, slept through 49 missed calls. 49 missed calls. You're like, oh, okay. So your phone wasn't on silent or anything? It was ringing the whole time? No, it was going for like every minute.

Wow. Wow. You're like a sleeping giant. I love it. I know, ridiculous. I'll ask if I need to go to

a sleep counsellor or something. That's wonderful, Jessie. You go and have a good day. Thank you, you too. All right, Katie Moreno,

welcome from Timaru. What did you sleep through? So, I slept through the neighbour's cattle getting out, destroying our fence and our whole backyard

and garden and I woke up, there were no cattle left in there destroying our fence and our whole backyard and garden. And I woke up. There were no cattle left in there. It was just the messy backyard. They just caused devastation. It was a riot with cows in your front yard. This is the thing. This is how robbers get away with it.

None of us wake up. I don't think I'd wake up if someone was in my house. I know. They rob my roses. Love you, Katie. Have a good one. You too. Was that weird that I just said love you, Katie? Yeah, a little bit. We'll gloss, Katie. Have a good one. You too. Was that weird that I just said love you, Katie?

Yeah, a little bit. We'll get over it. We'd only just met, but anyway. Off to a fire start. Let's go to Fiona. Welcome from Hamilton. What did you sleep through, Fiona? Are you there?

Yeah, mate. What did you sleep through? It wasn't actually with me. It was my husband. So he slept through, unfortunately, the neighbours. Someone got stabbed. Oh, dear God. Yeah.

Oh, my God. He didn't die or anything. But, yeah, I woke up because I heard all this, like, the police and stuff. Because it was, like, right next door. And I was, like, he slept through the whole thing. He woke up in the morning and there was like caution tape and obviously the tent was up next door and he was like, what happened? And I was like, I told you.

There was like police outside and yeah. So he slept through a lot. I didn't, but I was just like, yeah, that's what, yeah, he slept through. Well, that's what, and so the person was okay in the end? Yeah, the person was okay. Well, that's what, and so the person was okay in the end? Yeah, the person was okay. Oh, that's good. It was just some random street kids that decided to, like, break into a car, and the kid had been drinking, so he was sleeping in his car,

seeing this fat kid not driving home, and then, yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, but he's all right. He's fine. Oh, that's good. And he's a polite stab victim as well. He didn't make too much noise. You don't want to go too loud.

I heard the noise. Like, it was that, like... Oh, jeez. Oh, mate, hey, good on you, Fiona. You're going to have a great day. We'll take Michael. What did you sleep through, Michael, in Wellington? I slept through the first part of war games

when I was in the Army. Oh, you were in the Army and you slipped through a war. Yeah. You're the way of a guy, sir. Oh, just World War I. I just woke up and started, you know, the gunfire. The enemy party had found us and started shooting. And my mate next to me goes, where have you been?

I just woke up and started shooting. He goes, we've been fighting for like 15 minutes. What a mess, guys. You've got to come off the bench like an impact player. You do. We'll never take Michael to war with you then. I love you, Michael. Have a great day.

Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Shona and Ben, breakfast on the hits. It's time to look at some big news. Big news. Small Town. Town, town, town, town, town. This is a story.

A lady in Goa, Megan Whitehead, has just broken the solo woman's nine hours of sheep sharing record over the weekend. Finally, a positive story

involving a New Zealander and a sheep. I bet those filthy Aussies were rubbing their hands when they saw this headline. Yeah, it's amazing. An incredible feat, right? It is. It happened four days ago, but that's how we like our news. Four days delayed.

That's how we do it on this show, and it's a pleasure to be joined on the big news right now by Megan Whitehead. Welcome. How are you? How are you? We're good. How are you? Yeah, I'm not too bad.

Back into sharing for my boss down home here, and it's good. Well, you're back into it. We're back. Yeah. When did you get back? Because you were sharing sheep for, what, nine hours to break a world record, right? And then when were you back sharing again? Last Thursday was the record, and my first day back today.

I just took four weeks off off and all I do for a job is say words out of my lips and you're back to it within three days after having a world record. This is incredible. Now, was this a long-term goal or was this just like on Monday, you're like, I'll give that a crack? The record?

No, we've been planning that since the start of the year and I started training on mid-July. So near seven months I was training for that record. But you do it for a job, so aren't you training every day? Yeah, yep, but I don't usually go to the gym every night after work. Because I also saw on the news as well, they were saying that you cut out sugars and alcohol from your diet.

Alcohol and bread and sharing seven days a week and going to the gym six nights a week after sharing. Oh, my God. Your commitment to removing hair from sheep is unparalleled. Yeah, that's amazing. So it was 661 sheep over nine hours, right? Yeah, yeah. I was concerned for you, like, you know, because everyone says counting sheep will go to sleep. So, I mean, that's literally what you're doing for nine hours.

Now, you didn't doze off or anything? No, you're that focused, and the adrenaline kicks in as well, and no time for sleeping, no time for a cup of tea. Do the sheep know what prestigious event they were part of? No, they sat pretty well for me. I've been washed the two days before, so they're all groomed up and fluffy. I was going to say, do you have to prepare them or do you pick

sort of well-managed, calm sheep? Yeah, we did pick them on their temperament and Dad bred them. That helped a lot. And then we had to get them all washed up so they calmed nicely. These are record attempting sheep bred from day dot to be part of a world

record. I don't know if they're bred to be part of a world record. And someone's, well I don't know if they're bred to be part of a world record, but I love the fact that someone was out there washing sheep for a couple of days before you did the record. Yeah, that took them seven hours to wash those 760 lambs we washed up for it. Is that a record? Is that a world record?

The most washed sheep. Yeah, the sheep room. You might have broken two records. Did you think about stopping at 660, like a 660 sheep, and get like an endorsement deal from the band, or was 661 always your goal? 700 was a goal, but... Oh, hang up on it.

Hang up on it. Didn't reach your goal. We don't talk to people who don't reach their goals on this show, Ben. She broke a world record. It was incredible. I had to break the record was the goal, but it was the main focus, but my goal was

700. And so those 39 freshly washed sheep who didn't go without a shearing, what are they doing now? They'll be probably going to be shorn soon by the contractor that usually shares the farmer's sheep. They'll be feeling like a million bucks at the moment, won't they?

They'll be looking good too. You could eat your dinner off those sheep. So what was the sorest parts? Because I imagine there's a lot of bending down, obviously, your shoulders, you're sort of hunched up. What's that, sorry? You bent over that whole time, so you can't feel your back. But that's the least of your worries when you're that focused. No, that should be your main worry.

You've got spinal issues. That's a pretty concerning situation. Have you got another goal, another record you want to break? Because Jono, he shaves his own hair, you know, like not much of it. Could you shave me? Shave me. Could we do nine hours of haircuts like Jono or something for a world record?

I shaved three shepherds that night after the record at the Walsh Shed. Three clean-shaven shepherds. The three wise men. They wanted the top notch off. You got rid of it. You're like, all right, I'll do a couple more. Will this shaving madness stop?

Hey, lovely chatting to you. Congratulations. Yeah, you too. Look after yourself. See you. Broadcasting live. And mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast.

On the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Yeah, he lets the journalists do all the heavy lifting while he takes all the credit when he reads out their stories on the radio. Bad voice with scrolling through your feed. Yeah, he lets the journalists do all the heavy lifting while he takes all the credit when he reads out their stories on the radio. Bad voice with scrolling through your feed. This is something that New Zealanders are discovering, that Maggi two-minute noodles,

I mean, a staple of flats and diets. Kids love, I mean, everyone loves some two-minute noodles. Healthy, nutritious. From time to time, two-minute noodles. But in the UK, Maggi two-minute noodles are called Maggi three-minute noodles. Are we undercooking them by a minute? But there's the same packaging.

And so the label there, instead of saying two-minute noodles, says three-minute noodles. Now, comedian Alice Bryan, who's a Kiwi, we know, she lives in the UK now. She was like, what the heck is this? Is it like COVID? She thought, we've gone hard, we've gone early. With noodles

and also with COVID. But according to Magi, they've now made a statement because it's blown up over Reddit to say that there's a slight difference in ingredients used in the UK, which means they have to be cooked slightly longer.

Oh, for the noodles. For the noodles, yeah. Oh yeah, so we don't like ours medium rare as someone else said on Reddit as well. What are those noodles made out of? No one's ever asked. No, but they are.

Nor should we. No, it got me through many, many, many a month when I was a student. Oh my gosh. It basically is the official cuisine of every 19 to 24 year old. Exactly. Two minute noodles.

And then you don't eat it for the rest of your life. Yeah. I haven't had two minute noodles since I was at radio school. Oh, but the kids love them. You know, like the kids, they love it. Yeah. Who was I talking to? This guy who was next door to us at New Year's.

He's a chef at a hotel, a Frenchman. Frenchman. Okay. Okay. Makes it more sophisticated already. You said that three times. A Frenchman. When he talks in an accent

and he says, let me do it. He cooks two minute noodles and puts spag bowl on top of them. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Restaurant.

Not in the restaurant. At his French cuisine restaurant. Takes an Italian dish and puts it on top of it. And use your two minute noodle bed. Yeah. And a Californian man was arrested this weekend after he'd been living

in a Chicago airport for a whopping three months. Now he'd been living in a secured area and he was found by United Airline employees. He'd basically

got someone's credentials like their swipe card. Swipe card, yeah. And he'd been living there in the secured area just off people had been giving him food and money, other passengers from time to time.

He was just too scared of flying because of COVID, so he'd just sort of stay in the airport. Where did he come from before the airport? I don't know. Why didn't he just go back there? Yeah, because he's from California, and he was in Chicago. So yeah, anyway, I don't know why he decided to live out.

That's a lot of questions. But hasn't that gone through everyone's mind when you're walking through the airport? Oh, I could do it. I could see if I could live here. You could survive in an airport. There's a lot of stuff. We were talking about this yesterday, you know.

Yeah. You've got your food, you've got your luggage shops, you've got suit shops, you've got other sandwich shops. I mean, it's all there. Dunkin' Donuts. Vodafone. Oh, yeah. Everything.

Your parents, we actually spoke about it yesterday I love that gang dropped off Very early So man they could do it Three to four hours At the domestic airport They do love it I had a friend who

When we were probably about 22 He signed up to The Kauru Lounge And This was a wild The wild west of Kauru Lounge That Kauru They've kind of

Become stricter on the rules They're stricter now. You can do anything. He would go out to the airport and preload at the lounge because you didn't

actually have to prove that you had a ticket to fly anywhere. And then when they bought that in, he would just buy the cheapest flight so he'd get a $30 flight

to Hamilton, go out there. And never fly? Never fly. Oh, just basically. No, that was his night out at the Kauru Lounge. Mrs. Flight getting that camp.

Fueled up on club sandwiches and champagne. And then it's scrolling through your feed this morning. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Did you know, I was just reading an article, just online we were talking about it, that swearing, you know, swearing. I don't know how to spell it out for you,

because if I do I'll lose my job. Yeah, please don't spell it out. Is becoming, according to this article, and according to the Broadcasting Standards Authority, more culturally accepted. Thanks to the likes of Benny dropping some F-bombs in her song 660, they drop a couple of F-bombs. Oh yeah,

and there is a couple of songs like that, yeah. It's only number eight on the most offensive word list in the Broadcasting Standards Authority, the F-bomb. Oh really?

There's a whole lot more in the big place. Shall I give it, I'll tell you what, I'll read out the top ten. Shall I give it a go? Shall we read out the top ten after eight o'clock?

We'll see at what stage you lose your job. Who knows? I don't know. I haven't seen the list. My daughter had a good question the other day. She said, what age are you allowed to swear? At what age?

That's a very good question. I was like, what? I think when you're an adult, you probably, but then as an adult, there are certain occasions that you're not allowed to swear, you know? Well, you get a good gauge on, you know, when you meet someone, you're like, you're a sweary person.

I'll kick it off and we'll see where this goes. Yeah, but even now and again, you might, outside of things, you might drop it at a swear word and you see the person sort of like double-tap. I tell you who's the sweariest person

I've ever come across. John Campbell. John Campbell is the mouth like a drunk sailor, doesn't he? But then on TV, he's just the most prim and proper and wonderful. He's a lovely gentleman off screen as well.

But every second word. Maybe he just picked you for a swear. Maybe he's a swearing guy. He's a swearing guy. Here I go. Now, of course, Benny and many artists like 660 are on tour at the moment.

Benny's playing in Western Springs in a few weeks time. 660 on tour all over the country. There's a lot of music festivals going on. New Zealand artists playing, even Dragon, I saw they were quarantining and playing in quarantine,

playing at April Sun in Cuba. They'd set up the whole band and kit in the hotel. Oh, in the hotel. I was like, oh, that's loud. Well, they don't go out in the rain, so they need to stay inside. And so we played a little game yesterday. We thought we'd chuck it on air again

because it was fun, wasn't it? It was a lot of fun. Where Ben holds up signs on bits of paper of New Zealand artists and I had to try and work them into an everyday casual conversation. You did really well, actually, and we'll hear a ding every time you get one right. Good morning, Bondi. Oh, hello, Sailor.

How are you? Good. Listen, me and the dudes were keen to get out. It's a crowded house at the moment, so pop down for a meal. Yep. Do we need to make a booking? Depending on what day planning on coming. Yeah.

So if it was Friday... I'm just putting the feelers out there. Yeah, Friday. What time are you after? Oh, about sort of 10, brunch time. Actually, do you do an eggs, Benny? Yeah, we do. We've got spinach, bacon or salmon.

Praise the Lord. Thank you very much. And so what have you got price-wise on the menu? Anything around sort of $6.60? $6.60? Big breakfast is $20, well, $19.90. Yeah, that makes sense. And the cheapest is the muesli at $10.90.

Now, I've just come back from holiday, and I did go to a place where they used to charge for this, but the toilets, are they free to use? Like I don't have to pay... Of course they are, yeah, free to use. I don't have to pay pee money? No, not at all. And can you describe the cafe?

Describing it? It's an older cafe. Lovely, yeah. Yeah, kind of. And have you got fire extinguishers? We do Good because I don't want a place to catch a fire The other thing I've been doing Just as a bit of a New Year's resolution

Sort of situation I wanted to teach myself The alphabet this year Now I've got I, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K. Do you know what comes after that? L, M, O, P. And I've got a mate, Fat Freddy. Can I drop him at the door?

I don't see why not. He can't stand Walker. Oh gee, I've got to stop you there. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. You probably picked something was up. Yeah, I did. Jono, I gave him the task of trying to insert as many New Zealand singers or bands into a conversation. Yep.

So that's why the weird questions, I apologise for him and for our show. Apart from the alphabet thing, I am teaching myself the alphabet this year. You're a good sport, Dee. Hey, we'd love to send you out something for basically taking up your time. That'd be great. Ben's just called you a good sport. Are you good at sport? Equestrian sport.

Oh, okay. You're a good sport. You literally are a good sport. You put up with us and that's all we can ask for. Hold the line. We'd love to send you out something. Thank you. You have up with us and that's all we can ask for. Hold the line. We'd love to send you out something. Thank you. You have a great week, D. Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters

worth of a normal dad. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. We've got producer Humphrey and wonderful producer Humphs and his lovely lady lumps, producer Humphs. Not ones that we just saw in animated form on the internet. But you had potentially the bleakest Christmas day ever,

you poor thing. It was a bit unfortunate, and I was really looking forward to it. I was going down to spend Christmas with my mum, and I hadn't been down there for a long time. So she had a big list of chores and activities for me to take care of while I was down there. What were the activities?

Mainly chores. When I think back, it was cleaning the gutters, cleaning the hedges. But sometimes that's fun work, isn't it? It's rewarding. Yeah, totally fine. But a day after arriving, I got sick and just a terrible head cold.

And I just thought, oh, look, I'll just tough it out. And I did a few of the jobs, but I was pretty lazy around the house. And then on Christmas Day, Mum woke up and she was not well. But she fought on. She got your head cold. She did. Yeah, she did. And she fought on, though, and prepared a lovely Christmas dinner.

And just as we sat down for Christmas dinner, we said our prayer and she said, right, I'm off to bed. And she went to bed, not eating any Christmas dinner and slept till Boxing Day. She's like, no one disturbed me. At which point I got on a plane and left. Oh, then you left on Christmas Day?

So yeah, I ditched her with the flu. I left on Boxing Day. So were you the only one eating the Christmas dinner or was there other people there? No, there was. Oh, right. Okay, so what did you do?

Sadly, carving a turkey, shedding a single tear, meal for one. She slept all Boxing Day. Pulling your cracker. I lost again. I lost again. It sounded like

something else, didn't it? You can do a magic trick with that. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. The home of yeah, nah. She'll be right, and at the end of the day... Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits.

Time for this. The A to Z. The A to Z of New Zealand. That's right. Working our way through the entire alphabet. Every location, every town and city in Aotearoa, we're going to foam over the next two and a half years. And we've hit the Ks.

Hit the Ks. K is a very special letter. K-Mart. K is for Kim Kardashian. Yeah. K is for cat. Yes, John. K is also for Kaoro,

which is a little town with a heart of gold. To be more specific, their hearts are made of aortas and arteries, but it's located 100 kilometre... Another K word. Kilometre, kilometres. From Tauranga and located inside all of our hearts. It's known for its thriving paper industry

and amateur surgical industry as well. Mayor Malcolm Campbell. I think we've got the mayor. Have we got the mayor, Millennial Max? We're going to phone the mayor. First thing in the morning. His name's Malcolm. We'll go through to the mayor of Kawaro.

Hello, Malcolm Campbell. Hello, Malcolm Campbell. It's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Hello, Jono and Ben. How are you radio station. Hello, Jono and Ben. How are you? Welcome. The mayor of Kawarau. That's right.

The official voted in mayor because you know how sometimes the small towns are like, oh, you've got to meet old Gripper. He's the mayor of Tuatapuri or something, but you're the official mayor. No, no, no. It's an official. Official mayor. You've got chains? Of course we've got a chain.

Oh, sorry. Sorry, yeah. We've got a chain and we've got all the works here in the town. Oh, lovely, mate. And listen, I've just Googled the District Council website here, Malcolm. He's not lying. He's got chains. He's got a photo with chains on.

Oh, yes. I tell you. And I scrub up pretty well every now and again. You do? I'm actually the butcher in town here, too. And I've been here for, my wife and I, we've been in business for 46 years. You're the mayor

come butcher. Come butcher, yes. Come butcher, the fashionable drink. I don't think they have kombucha in Kawaroa. No. What's good?

Why should we go and visit the place? Well, I'll tell you what, we've always got huge, hugely high temperatures here in Kawaroa. If you see Dan talking about it,

always Kawaroa comes on the news. But we're sitting in the middle of, in the heart of Whakatane District, which is now the sunshine capital of the world. But I think it's of the world. Let's go to the world. The world sounds awesome. You haven't overshot the mark there. Kawaro, the sunshine

capital of the universe. Yeah, I love it. We're actually right in the middle of the eastern Bay of Panty. Lakes are 10 minutes away. Beaches, 20 minutes away. We were the first motorhome-friendly town in New Zealand. Who are the unfriendly motorhome towns? Yeah, well, there are a few of them.

But that sort of made us pretty famous, to be honest, and has brought a lot of people here. And, of course, while we are very famous, you may have seen us every now and again, rolling the dogs running across the park here with a toilet roll hanging out of his mouth and that. So we're pretty famous for that too, because we make toilet paper. Oh, is that where it's from? Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. And all you people that are using imported toilet paper, shame on you. Shame on you. But your butt cheeks should feel guilty. Yeah, they should. I tell you, they should. I mean, look at all those poor old rangitangs

having to jump out of the trees so you can wipe your bum. It's just ridiculous. Not here, not in Colorado. There you go, okay. Why don't you stimulate the economy by stimulating your bottom with some locally made toilet paper?

That's for real. Yeah, come and visit us. Good on you, mate. Great. Lovely talking to you. Yeah, and thank you for contacting us. Brilliant to talk. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone.

Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Let's do some spy entertainment news. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. Listen, you'll notice a lack of producer Juliette Mildew, Millennial Juliette we call her who claims she's had a wholesome outward bound experience For three weeks? discovering herself

I just think she hasn't come down from Northern Base She did go to that round to USA I don't think her Northern Base experience has ended The base is still pumping That'd be right, three weeks I'm off the grid for three weeks She went to Northern Base. I don't think her Northern Base experience has ended. The base is still pumping. That'd be right. Three weeks. She's like, I'm off the grid for three weeks.

Anyway, she's not here. So Ben's filling in for Spy. What have we got, mate? Some quick entertainment headlines for you this morning. All Black Aaron Smith is rumoured to have got married over the weekend to his long-term partner, Tegan. A secret wedding near Hotwater Beach in the Coromandel. So congratulations to them. They've already got a little baby as well, the two of them.

And now rumoured to be married. Imagine the magazines we wanted to get photos of. Love a secret wedding. We had a Sharon who we used to wear with on the edge. We would always wind her up. She went to an all-black wedding. I can't even remember which all-black it was. Oh, it was a high-profile one.

It was very high-profile. I won't even say what it is because I don't want to get her black wedding. I can't even remember which all black it was. Oh, it was a high profile. It was very high profile. Yeah. I can't, oh, I won't even say what it is because I don't want to get her in trouble. But it was under such tight security. We weren't allowed

to talk about it. But we were just eager on. We're like, what did you do on the weekend, Sharon? You look like you're fresh from a wedding. And she would stare

daggers at us. But you know, she never spoke about that. You're not allowed to talk about the secret wedding. That's why we don't get invited to secret weddings

is that what they do because magazines have purchased the rights to the photographs well maybe you might be right or maybe they just want to have a wedding

not in the public eye I don't know but yeah the other big wedding news in New Zealand news hub news reader Samantha Hayes

she got engaged yesterday to her partner again they've also got a little kid as well, so she's getting married as well. Was it leading the news last night? I'm not sure.

Why do you keep shaming these people who've had children out of wedlock? Oh, no, I just thought it was going to... Oh, no, there's no shame in that. Shotgun winning? No. There's no shame in that. I'd show you commitment before you have children, would you?

They had a child. They already had a child. I wasn't. I was just mentioning. There's some background information. You're like, oh, how long have they been together? Oh, they've also got babies. They've got kids together.

You were saying they met in a hostel and he's Dutch. Yes, I think they met in a hostel in South America on their travels as well. Is that all right? Or was that shaming them? To me on the surface, and I know Sam, lovely lady, Sam Hayes, that sounds like a relationship that wouldn't have lasted the distance. You're meeting a hot Dutch guy in a hostel.

But hey, they've seen it through. That proved us wrong. Now they're getting married. Congratulations, that's great news. And overseas, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Bale, you'll know them from being big international celebrities. Well, they've announced the name of the new baby boy. When did they have their baby?

Out of wedlock? They've got a first... No, I don't know, actually. They might have done it the right way around. No, no. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Announced the baby of the new...

Their second baby, the baby boy, they announced it on Ellen's show yesterday. His name is Phineas. He's awesome and he's so cute and nobody's sleeping. But we're thrilled, you know. That's awesome news. Actually, speaking of Ellen, she's just back to work after she had COVID and

she slept for 16 hours a day at the start of it. That's how tired she was when she got it and got a lot of back pain, which apparently is quite common with some of the symptoms. Well, when you're bullying your work, when you're bullying your staff, it takes it out of you.

You need some me time. Have a rest. Oh, jeez. I can start making fun of her now. She's recovered. No, you can't let her. That is our show for a Tuesday. Fun one today.

We've got a little bit of a ritual there. After every show We shout each other a coffee But we do it on alternate days And I don't know where we left it last year So whose turn is it today? I'll say it's yours We'll catch you tomorrow

Five grand to give away then Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys Weekdays from 6 on The Hits And via the iHeartRadio app Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast Friends of Skinny Happy, happy, happy, oh

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