Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - January 25 - Jono's Out Of Control Party, News In Beeps, Using The COVID Check-In App

Episode Date: January 24, 2021

Happy Monday e te whānau, and Happy Wellington Anniversary Day! Today 5 Words for $5,000 was back with Ben and listener trying to match their 5 words. We also talk about times when you or someone you know broke Wedding etiquette. Who had the biggest breach of wedding etiquette?! Jono also took his kids to town on the weekend and the kids got on the karaoke machine. The result is RIDICULOUS!! 😂See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings, friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Hello, welcome to the podcast. This is Monday, the 25th of January, 2021. It's wonderful to have you here, Ben Boyce.

I got a message actually during the week last week from someone who's binge listening to all the podcasts and they're only up to the episode where you gave your wife a frying pan as a present. Oh, gosh. And it's coming for the first time and there's going to be many more mentions of it. Yeah, we do.

We talk a lot about that. You thread that storyline through quite a lot. And even at home, too, it still pops up. Because our frying pan, the frying pan, the famous frying pan, you know, sometimes they lose the non-stick part of it. And it starts to stick. Oh, it starts to peel off. Yeah.

And I was like, and my dad is actually saying it at the moment. And he was like, oh, it looks like you guys need a new frying pan. And my man and my wife goes, well, I've got a birthday coming up. Uh-oh. And he didn't quite get the reference. Those are two words that you don't need mentioned in your household. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah.

There we go. But wonderful to have you here. We woke up first thing this morning. We got talking just after 6 o'clock about the wake-up routines of celebrities. You know, you Jennifer Anderson's getting up at 4.30. Well, that's what you said. You said, I've got all this information about celebrities. You know, you're Jennifer Anderson's getting up at 4.30. Well, that's what you said. You said, I've got all this information about celebrities,

current celebrities, Dwayne The Rock, Johnson, Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Anderson, Mike Gray. And then you spend a lot of time talking about Winston Churchill. I became fascinated with Winston Churchill's daily regime. Now, bearing in mind he's Prime Minister of England, the war's going on. Yeah. One of probably the most important jobs in the world at that time, Winston's waking up at 7.30am and sitting in bed till 11am,

just dictating stuff to secretaries and eating breakfast. What a wonderful easing to the day that is. Wouldn't you just love to wake up and just sit in bed till 11? Then he goes and has a bath at 11am. Between 11 and 12, he's having a bath and a whiskey. Oh, you've got to get the day... I don't know. Different time, isn't it?

Different time. If this was Donald Trump, we would be going in on him. What? He's having a bath and a whiskey at 11am. Then from 1 till 5, he's got lunch. He's playing backgammon with his wife. He's having another whiskey. Once it hits 5 o'clock, he likes to get another hour of napping. Just an end of day nap.

And then from 6 o'clock through to midnight, that is dedicated to dinner socializing drinking and smoking for hours it's interesting i'm just googling as you're talking about uh winston churchill uh they're saying this article that i'm reading is saying that uh some athletes uh some successful people some uh top artists as well do work their day almost like three bursts of a work, a little bit of downtime, another burst of work, a little bit of downtime, and then another burst of work.

So maybe they're going starting earlier and finishing later, but they're having this sort of downtime in between, almost like bursts. And sometimes they're saying it can be more productive than just working the whole way through where you kind of get your lulls. I can't work at night. I lose it. You can. You're a bit of a night owl.

I probably do get bursts. I your lulls. I can't work at night. I lose it. You can. You're a bit of a night owl. I probably do get bursts. I get lulls. During the afternoon, I get a lull, and then I go do a workout or something, or do some exercise to try and get back up. Literally, when we used to go away for work, you and Bron, our boss, you night owls, you'd be sitting there on your computers,

and I'd have to be there at the meeting. My eyes are rolling back up my head, but I'm like, I've got to be part of the gang. But I'm literally... This is before we were doing Breakfast Radio. I'm literally sitting there asleep, but my eyes are open. Obviously now I've changed my ways. Like I used to go to the gym at 10, 11 at night.

That's when I used to go to the gym. But now obviously I can't do that because I know I'm getting up around 4. You know? So I can't do that anymore, but that was my routine. That's the key to life. I'm here, guys. I'm here, but I'm not really here. I'm not.

I'm just sitting here in body, and I digest nothing of what's being said. And you made quite some important decisions later tonight. I'm like, John, you agreed to this, didn't I? Yeah. I was in a bath with Winston Churchill wearing a whiskey. Here's a mental image. I would definitely lean in between his legs. I would lean back into Winston and have him cuddle my torso.

Oh, lovely. There we go. And we'd share a whiskey together. Anyway, lean back into Winston and have him cuddle my torso. Oh, lovely. There we go. And we'd share a whiskey together. Anyway, the podcast today, Five Words for $5,000 is back again. It's a really, really fun game. We're enjoying playing and hopefully we can give away some money at some stage soon. Yeah, and we talk breaches of wedding etiquette. Have you been to a wedding and seen a huge breach in etiquette?

One lady whose bridesmaid hooked up with the bass player of the wedding band. What she was disgruntled about, you'll find out on the podcast. Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office, those two. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Now, I caught up with my father-in-law, with my wife Amanda in the weekend and Tim. And now you might remember Tim on the program, we played this great bit of phone audio. This is what he left on Amanda, my wife Amanda in the weekend and Tim. And now you might remember Tim on the programme, we played this great bit of phone audio. This is what he left on Amanda, my wife's phone.

Oh, this is a wonderful voicemail. This makes me happy on my inside bits. He got a new phone and he was struggling to really work out how to use it, but he managed to make a call and then he didn't know how to hang up and leave a message. Have a listen to this.

You have a message received yesterday at 8.53pm. Hi, Princess. 22.3. Oh, it's a good day for you. Catch you later. What do I do now? Have you cut it off? I haven't done anything.

No. Just stopped. I'm trying to ask you to end the call by hitting the red button. I didn't hit anything. Right. Oh, I was... Yeah, see, it switched off again. Oh, really?

No! And that definitely needs to be on a show, World's Best Voicemails. I'm so good at it. I haven't done anything. I've just stopped. I've just stopped talking. The whole conversation on the message. Hit the button.

I didn't hit anything. And it's a classic. For that generation, it's a classic to give the time. 3. I've just stopped talking. The whole conversation on the message. Hit the button. I don't know how to do it. And it's a classic. For that generation, it's a classic to give the time. 322. Oh, yeah. Even though you got a message received today at such and such. The last time I actually spoke to you before Christmas, I was on the phone,

and you sounded like you were in a happy place helping Tim move. Oh, he was moving, yeah. You were relocating, and boy, you sounded happy. You sounded like you were loving that. Oh, there's nothing like moving. Nothing like lifting. You see when it's not even your stuff? We did it though.

I dug it in and did the family thing and it actually was catching up with them over the weekend with the family and he was talking about the dog show because we hosted a dog show for TVNZ last year, Dog Almighty, and it was a lot of fun. But I loved it. He was brutally honest about it.

And again, you know, anyone over the age of 50, you're sort of like a toddler with their feedback. There's no filter. They're going to give it to you straight. Exactly. When I first saw it advertised, the dog show, I was like, what did they call it? You know, when they're trying to fill in, you know,

the fill-in, I was like, fill-a-content. Yeah, I thought it was just fill-a-content. I was like, this show is just fill-a-content. I was like, oh, okay. That's actually the name we're going to say to this radio show. is going to be called the filler content and so i was like okay but obviously this is he's telling me this obviously this goes to a good place this you know so he's like then i watched it i'm like oh here you go you enjoyed it he's like but i watched it i was like the first episode i was just like and then he made the the little hand in the mouth like vomit sort of thing. You know, when you're like, and I was just watching it go.

And it was like, I was like, oh, okay. And I was like, but I stuck through it. I stuck. I persevered

only because of his connection to you. Anyone else he would have tuned off. And he said, you know, a couple of episodes later, you know, it was all right. It was all right.

I watched it and kind of got into it. It made him less nauseous. But I was like, you didn't have to go through this whole process of like what the show made you feel, the vomit-inducing show, to get to like, oh, the show was all right. Amanda just looks at me and goes, you know this is going to be on radio on Monday. And I'm like, yeah, definitely.

This will be on radio. They could have told you all this in a voicemail. Yeah. Leave me a message. Leave me a phone message. So that's what we do, even to my own family. Morning. This show contains traces of Jono and Ben.

The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. A couple of earthquakes this morning and some breaking news in the Bay of Plenty this morning. A 4.9 and a 4.5 earthquake. So hopefully everyone there is doing okay. Yeah, well, I hope you're safe, guys, and Rotorua there. Now, obviously, big news over the weekend. There was a case of a confirmed COVID case in Northland.

And hats off. I will take my hat off right now to the wonderful lady who used her app and scanned in everywhere she went. I would like to say I would do the same, but I'd be one of those people that Ashley Bloomfield would sort of say, oh, listen, they haven't been scanning, and he'd be disappointed. You know his disappointed voice? He had his happy scanning voice on yesterday. It's all the same voice, though, isn't it?

But you can tell when he's disappointed with those that haven't been scanning, should have been scanning. Yeah, well, she did everything right. I mean, she got released after two negative tests in isolation and quarantine. And then she just managed to get, you know, got a positive later, but she's been scanning everywhere she went.

She went and got tested as soon as she felt a bit sickly. Yeah, there's a list on the Ministry of Health's website too. All the locations she's been to, if you've been there, there's probably advice on there, what you should do. I'm not going to tell you what to do because I don't know. I don't know. I'm not going to spell it off false information. Are you a scanner?

I need to be a lot better. I'm trying to be as good as I have. And around Auckland, around work, but just over summer, every now and again, particularly when you're on holiday, you'd leave your phone in the car, you wouldn't take your notes. So now it's a good example. It's a good wake-up call for all of us, New Zealand, particularly when you're on holiday you're like, you'd leave your phone in the car you wouldn't take your notes, so now it's a good example, it's a good wake up call for all of us New Zealand to scan a lot more. I'm not a good scanner either, mainly because I would be embarrassed

to be like, oh he was at a McDonald's at 7.30, then he went to KFC 8.30, Pizza Hut at 9.30 routed off with the Burger King too and I've done that before, remember when I went to all those fast food restaurants in one house? You did the trifecta, I think on the way home. I did, yeah I went to McDonald's and then I was like, oh I've never that before. Remember when I went to all those fast food restaurants in one house? You did the trifecta, I think, on the way home. Yeah, I went to McDonald's and then I was like,

oh, I've never been to Carl's Jr. So I was eating McDonald's. Well, we're on the same street. And then we went to Carl's Jr., the next one. And then you had one more for dessert or something. Yeah, it was like I can't remember what dessert shot up I hadn't been to. So, yeah, I did the trifecta, the artery-clogging trifecta. So what we want to do is we want just having a conversation pre-show about scanning.

And we want to take 10 calls and predict the number of those 10 calls of who's scanning. Because I'm going to say 8 out of 10 of them are not scanning. Not scanning. I don't reckon many people are scanning. More should be scanning. I think now you've laid out this challenge, we're going to get people that have been scanning to call up and go, I've been scanning all the time. So I reckon I'm going to go six out of ten have been scanning.

Are you a scanner or a shammer? All the time. We're talking, you know, blemish free. 0800 that hits the telephone number. Prove us wrong or prove us right. We'll take ten calls. You just tell us if you're a scanner or you're a shammer. Jane is on the phone from Auckland.

I am going to make the assumption that Jane, not knowing you or even hearing your voice, Jane sounds like a sensible name. I'm going to say you're a scanner. I'm going to lock in scanner as well for Jane too. Not a scanner. Jane, you need to lift your scan game. Unsensible Jane, I'll call you.

I'm doing it now, 100%. That's right, we're all doing it now. We're doing it now. What's the reason you think you've been a bit relaxed? Just laziness, I think, to be honest. Yeah, and that's what I put mine down to too. And it's the ultimate, it's the height of laziness. It's just pulling your phone out of your pocket

and holding it up to something. And even if you forget afterwards, you can go back into the app and go, oh, I was there and put it in a manual entry. Here's something you can do. Oh, Jane, you've let me down, you've let Ben down, you've let New Zealand down, most important. Appreciate your call. Thank you.

Thank you. Okay, Julie from Auckland, I'm going to say that's a sensible name, but you know, Jane's really throwing a cat amongst the pigeons here. I'm going to say you're not a scanner, Julie. I'm going to say you are a scanner. No scanner. No. None from two with the scanner.

And I don't like hanging around for phone conversations either. Alright, we don't know further questions on that one. Okay. Head to the Wairarapa. Olivia's on the phone and I wouldn't imagine there's been much COVID in the Wairarapa so I'm going to say Olivia, non-scanner. I am a scanner.

Oh, good work Olivia. Well done. It's good to see Yep One from three And do you Do you force others To scan as well No but they see me

Do it first And maybe Follow You take the lead That's the thing You set an example Because as you walk Into somewhere

If you see someone Doing it It kind of reminds you To get into the habit Of like doing it Yeah that's a good idea Or you look like A lesser human being

If you don't do it And they do do it Or you can jump in front of them at the cafe if you don't. We'll head to Valerie and Nelson. Valerie, you sound fast and loose. I'm going to say you're not a scanner. I'm a definite scanner. Oh, she's a loyal scanner.

Three scanners come through out of the six. And I tell you what, I'm even so good that I actually comment to other people and I ask the stores where their code is. Oh, good on you. Oh, you're a scan shamer. Yeah, I think it's so important. It is.

It is. Well, especially now we can track down everyone. It's been in close contact so much easier. Yeah, I think you're nuts if you don't. And being on holiday is no excuse, guys. No, you're right. Well, I feel like you're too good on you, Valerie. And I tell you,

but it is harder for Ben to hide his affairs, though, because he's having to... I've still got to do it. I've still got to do it. The affairs and the scanning. I've got to do it. You know, you're right. You're right.

It keeps him busy. Keeps him young. And on edge. Good on you, Valerie. Well done to you. What an upstanding citizen. Now, she's the team of five million. That's what we want, you see.

And we'll take one more in Taranaki. Annette, you're not a scanner. I am a scanner. Very proudly so. A proud scanner. Yep, yep. I spent two weeks in Brisbane recently. Well, three weeks, actually.

And in New Zealand, we've actually got it so easy. We have one single app that we can use to scan in. Why not? Why not? Good on you. And four out of six hit listeners, hits listeners are scanners. And that's a good hit rate. I tell you what, you go over to MoreFM,

none of them will be scanning. Crazy audience. If anything, I think they actually launched COVID, didn't they? More if you know it was a promo. I'll wrap you up now. We apologise in advance. Sorry about that.

Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this. Sorry you've been dragged into this. Shono and Ben, breakfast on the heads. The heads. Lucky to be here today, actually. Wild, wild weekend. Oscar, my son, uh had his 11th birthday

cheesy guys quick what a cliche it is but it is you look back at old photos when your kids are little and then suddenly they're you know they're rolling your eyes at a joke you say you know okay cliche o'clock i'm quickly getting into the uh embarrassment stages and i'm enjoying it i love embarrassing my kids it's one of my parents did it to me. It's one of the joys you get as a parent. It's like, I can say anything right now and really embarrass you in front of a group of your peers.

And that power is in my hands. It can happen at any moment. But no, I've really enjoyed hanging out with them, especially over the school holidays. We finish work here and hang out in the afternoon with the kids. It's been lovely. So anyway, he's like, i want to play mini golf for my birthday party you know take his friends to uh play miniature golf and there's a place in town so i thought what a better place to take 12 kids jacked up on uh sugar artificial sugars into the middle of the city a

busy city at the moment there's amer America's Cup going on. Road works. It is wild in town. It was basically a tiny stag do. It's a tiny stag do that you're trying to control. No one's listening to the leader. So you hired a van, didn't you, for this, to get them all down there? Oh, no, actually, we took three different cars.

I was going to hire a van, but then, you know, I won't get into the van. You don't need to hear about the issues of the van rental company. They had rented it out to someone else who needed it. So the van was no longer. Anyway, now I've gone into the issues. Okay. The van was not there.

Okay. So we went three. And it's also a bad look for a bald white man in a white van packed with 12 children. Okay. Fair enough. So, you know, we went into the city and went to the miniature golf place. Did you choose this place because you could have a beer at the place as well? Did you direct the kids into this particular place?

And you're like, this is the place we should go, rather. Yeah, I mean, there's other places that aren't in the city. But yeah, hey, one of the collateral benefits was that, hey, there might have been a bar and icon. It was great, yeah. Yeah, no, it was wonderful. And so on the way there, they covered off some politics. Did you hear that Tiger King? So he was so confident Donald Trump would release him on his last day

that he had a limo waiting outside for three days. And then Donald Trump didn't even release him. You know, I was recording that. And I started recording. And that lovely little boy in the back came in. He was like, what are you recording for? This isn't consent. I haven't consented to this room.

I'm like, shame on you. I was like, kids these days. Yeah, mate. You can't get anything past them. And so anyway, I dropped them off to the mini golf and then they walked upstairs to the room, the party room that they were in. And I walked in and the lovely waiter, Dan,

he's like, okay, so I've got four ginger beers, three Cokes and you wanted a flaming pink flamingo? I was like, what? What are these drink orders that you're taking? The kids are just coming and just all over the place. I just planned water for everyone. He was like, just so you know too, guys, you're in the karaoke room. I'm like, why on dear God?

Why on earth? What have I done to you that you would put me in the karaoke room? And so then he hands them microphones. They don't need microphones. They don hands them microphones. Oh, they don't need microphones. Oh, they don't need. Oh, my God. Something bass. Something bass.

And I'm like, I don't know why this man would punish me like this. I was like, you didn't need to say this was a karaoke room. No one knew it was a karaoke room. Hide the microphone. Do not give screaming children microphones to amplify them no that was going across like it's battling across over the viaduct and it just kept going a bit of a freestyle there and i was like jesus 20 minutes into this. It's a long 20 minutes. But the thing I liked and the thing I like about

seeing kids grow up to is you can pick their personality types can't you? You're like, you're going to be a CEO, you're going to be a real estate agent, you're probably going to be a drug dealer. Can't you pick the personalities though?

I guess you kind of know that what, yeah, you think you've got a good idea of what sort of line of work they may end up in. Yeah. In five years time, Ben will probably be buying things off the guy I mentioned. Just to get you through. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the

hits. US President Joe Biden now he's quickly moved into the White House and he's changing a few things that Donald Trump had. Obviously some policies, some bigger stuff, but also there was a button on Donald Trump's desk and people wondered what this little red button does. Do you hit it and does it send a bomb? Nuclear weapons.

Yeah, nuclear weapons or something like that. But no, in fact, it was a Diet Coke button. So he would press it and he was doing an interview with some press a while ago Donald Trump when he was in there and he was like

watch this it's a diet coke button and he pushed it and someone would come in with a tray a silver tray and a diet coke and give it to Donald Trump

a diet coke butler so the only role of that position is just to come just to be ready on hand with an icy cold Diet Coke. Now, I read an article on this.

He would have 12 cans of Diet Coke a day. A day? Yeah. A dozen. Despite the fact that in 2012 he called Coca-Cola products garbage in a tweet, he's had 12 cans a day. And he loves McDonald's too. Like he eats McDonald's and drinks Diet Coke all day.

Now you could not get a more American diet. Just, that's the food pyramid over in the United States. He had a sports team at the White House once and there's that photo of him and he'd ordered McDonald's for everyone. He's like, look at this wonderful spread. It was just Big Macs. Just a huge boardroom table of Big Macs and McChickens.

Yeah. So. You heard a rumour a few years ago. You used to work with Robert Taylor, and he used to think that Obama, when he was president, he had a button, but not for Diet Coke, but to shut down the internet. Yeah, the internet was under the desk,

so that if Obama was looking at any embarrassing websites or anything like, oh, you know, how to be a president or something, really embarrassing, you're the president. How to be a president. And, you know, Michelle walks in or one of his aides walks in and he can go bang, push the button under the desk,

shuts the internet down worldwide. I don't know if it's actually... It was a panic button for the internet. Imagine how useful that would be. We'd all love it, but we wouldn't necessarily... It's the ultimate deleting of cookies. Just closing the internet. Now that is a powerful button. Oh no, I just wanted to have a Diet of cookies. Just closing the internet. Now that is a powerful button.

Oh no, I just wanted to have a Diet Coke. I shut down the internet. Sorry. Oh no, that was the nuclear button. Oh God. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook.

Five words for 5k on the hit. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It is our brand new game. It's a simple game of word association. We give you five words. You say the first words that pop into your head. If those words match up with our five words, you win $5,000.

Ben's a little put off because producer Humphrey has got a camera on his face with extraordinarily bright lights. It's almost like you've got the sun in your hands there. Wow. It's really quite bright, isn't it? It's blinding. Blinding by the lights there. It's almost like you've got the sun in your hands there. Wow. It's really quite bright, isn't it? It's blinding. Blinding by the lights there.

Yeah. But yes, thank you very much for listening to the show. And we would like to welcome from Auckland, Jordan, Morena to you. How are you? Hi, guys. I'm good. How are you?

You're doing well. A student, a struggling student, they tell me. Oh, yeah. Yes, a struggling student. What are you studying, Jordan? My last year of law. We need lawyers. The world needs lawyers and no doubt a mounting student debt.

Yes, a very big student debt. So this cash would go towards that. I feel like you were saying all these things. I feel like Jordan's going to pick me. I feel like you know that she's going to pick me. Jordan, who would you like to try and match words with? I'm going to go with Dan. I knew you must have known that.

Heaping the pressure on me, Jordan, I will do my best for you. Have you played along with this game on the radio already? Yeah, I have. It's a game. When you're playing, you're driving the car you hear it, you know, you do play along, but it's interesting to see what other people say with the same word.

They call that passive. Yeah, I thought the petrol prices was a weird one. Oh, the other day. I said petrol prices. Yeah, I know, but I'm saying it. Okay, all right. And you also, if you're playing along in your car, they call that passive listening, I think. Oh, do they?

Yeah, where you're engaging with the program, but you're just in your own environment. Okay. Okay, so you get into the soundproof booth, my friend. And it is airtight, lack of you get into the soundproof booth, my friend. And it is airtight, lack of oxygen, and the soundproof booth, I don't know what happened over the weekend, but we gave it a good detour, wiping down office drinks, got out of control

on Friday. Jordan, okay. You think you're on the same wavelength as Benjamin Boyce? I hope so. He can't hear you right now. He is in the soundproof booth, so... Millennial Max plays the intense, unnecessary music just to add the pressure. I'm going to name five words and the first word that comes into your head or the first word you'd like to lock in. Number one.

And you can think about it. You don't have to rush. Okay. The first word. Palm. Palm. Palm, did you say? P-A-L-M. Palm. Three. Biro. What was that for?

Biro. B-I-R-O. Biro. B-I-R-O. Biro? Mm. I don't know what a biro is. You don't know what a biro is? No. It's sort of used for... If I say something, it might give you an advantage.

Can I explain, Producer Humphrey, what a biro is? You're looking at me, Bamboozled. I'll explain what it is. It's a pen. Okay, I'm going to go pen. That was my fear. On to the third word. Forward.

As in going forward. Backward. Backward? Yeah. Light. Switch. Basket. Ball. Which? Basket Ball

Those are your five words. Are you happy with all five of those, Jordan? Yep, hopefully. A little bit confused with the biro one, but I think you've chosen the best option. I've never heard of that before. Never heard of a biro? Well, that screams millennial to me.

Let's bring Ben Boyce out of the soundproof booth to see if he can match five words with your five words. The old latch on the door's a bit sticky, isn't it? You sometimes feel you're going to get locked in there, Ben. I know, you get a bit worried going in. Am I going to die in this booth? Is this it? Is this the end? Now, Jordan, I feel 75% confident that you will match words with Jordan.

And actually, while you were in the soundproof booth, Ben, Jordan also mentioned not only does she want to pay off her student loan, also her cat, desperate to get a new leg for her cat. The cat's leg went missing last Wednesday, and they've been looking for it ever since. Currently, the cat doesn't have a leg to stand on, so they need to get... Some more pressure on me right now.

There's a leg on Trade Me. The auction closes at 5 p.m. tonight, and that cat leg is $4,500, isn't it, Jordan? So this is for Jordan Stenloan and the cat. Are you going to be funding the future of New Zealand law? Hit the Music Millennial Max. Matching five words. Palm.

Tree? Jordan, he's one from one. Oh, in my head I was like palm is a tree or palm is in your hand. Palm tree. I thought the same thing. We're off to a good start and this is why you're the people's choice. Stop making me do these. This is why you are.

I don't know what you're doing, Friar. I don't need the pressure. Second word, biro. Oh, biiro as pen. Pen. Yeah. He went pen, Jordan. Can you believe it?

There was a little bit of confusion about Biro. I'll tell you afterwards. Okay, I don't know. It means nothing to me. Forward. Back. She went backward She went backwards Oh but that's the same

She went backwards Oh it's just a verb It's pretty much the same This is back and Oh I'm sorry I've been told by management The words have to be exact

There's 5,000 on the line Jordan Solid effort mate Solid effort The words have to be exact. There's 5,000 on the line. Jordan, solid effort, mate. Solid effort. Let's just try the last two words to see how far you would have got. Light. Shade. No, she went switch.

Basket. Shopping. Ball. Oh, basketball. Okay. A complete letdown. That made me feel a bit better. Yeah.

If we got the other ones, you'd be like, oh, it was so close. I'm so sorry, Jordan. Well, Jordan, you keep continuing to become the world's greatest lawyer, and thank you so much for listening, eh? Thank you. Back tomorrow morning, 7.45, five words, $5,000. Oh, it's a fun game. Yeah, you did that.

Yeah. Nah. Yeah, nah's a fun game yeah yeah nah yeah nah the home of yeah nah she'll be right and at the end of the day Jono and Ben breakfast on the hits

weddings yeah we all have them some people have multiple weddings they love them so much my wife went to one on Friday had a great time

yeah were you not invited no but that's alright you go to weddings you haven't gone through a wedding you never expect to be because it's so hard to whittle down. And this

person works with my wife and them work together. It's like, well, I feel like if I went, I'd be taking the place of someone else they'd probably rather invite. I'm with you. Yeah, I never get disgruntled if I'm not invited to a wedding. And did Amanda enjoy the wedding? Yeah, very great time. So her feet are sore the next day. Too much dancing.

I was like, you should have sat down. She's like, oh, no, but at the time. Full respect, though, to the high heel wearers in the community. Yeah. That is not a comfortable piece of footwear. I'm busy to dance it as well. You're on the D floor. I love it.

That takes some skill. Well, I hope you bathed and tended to those sore, sore, swollen feet. Yeah, definitely. As you would the good husband. But I was talking to some friends on the weekend who they were saying when they got married, they suffered a huge breach of wedding etiquette.

What are you doing mate? Sorry, I'm just counting. See I need some money here. Old money bag Scrooge McDuck over there counting his coins. Goes back to his big pool of coins. That Scrooge McDuck guy swam in those pool of coins. It would not have been a comfortable swim.

No, you're right. How are you going to pull? You've got no money. He dived into them too. It'd be like diving onto concrete. Anyway, we know how to talk about that. But yeah, so they had their wedding a few years ago. But they had invited a couple to the wedding.

And the couple turned up. But they'd brought mates along. Uninvited mates. Uninvited mates. Four mates. Who brings mates to a wedding? It's not like a barbecue. You're like, oh, these guys showed up.

They wanted to come along. You're like, uh, no, you can't come in. It's not a flatwarming. So then they had these other people that they had to kind of. So they kind of let them, I guess. Well, they didn't kick them out. They had to find extra seats for them and stuff. They hardly even knew them.

Have you ever gone, hey, go, I'm going to this party. What is it? Because you'd turn up and you'd be like, oh, you didn find extra seats for them and stuff. They hardly even knew them. Have you ever gone, hey, go, I'm going to this party? What is it? Because you turn up and you're like, oh, you didn't know the party was a wedding.

How awkward would those four people have felt? Oh, no, no, no, it's all right. They won't mind. I know, I love them. So, yeah, that was a big breach

of wedding etiquette. So I want to check this open this morning. 0800, that hits the phone number if you want to get a hold of us. Have you witnessed a big breach

of wedding etiquette a friend of ours she was at a wedding remember and she was behind the looking at the bar and they were like waiting on drinks she's like oh that bottle of that flash champagne let's drink that it looks awesome and they didn't realise till later that that was for the bridal party and so they were

drinking and they were like oh what a great wedding this is look at this flash champagne and looked around no one else is drinking the flash champagne. And they're like, uh-oh, it's the bridal party special bottle that was up behind the bar.

They're like, yeah, that's a bad breach of wedding, the kiss. So this is what we want. 0800 the hits. Did your wedding MC not turn up? Did your auntie French kiss

one of the best men? I don't know. What is the New Zealand version of French kissing? It's just a pash, isn't it? Yeah, a pash. A pash is always alright. We're not a romantic society,

are we? Yeah. French kissing sounds a lot more exotic and a lot cooler, eh? We're just a no-hold-barred pash on the D4. Alright, Wedding Etiquette.

What have you seen? Love to hear from you this morning. 0800, that is the phone number. 4487 is the text. We'll start off with Rachel from Taupo. Welcome to the programme, Rachel. Good morning. Good800 the hits is the phone number. 4487 is the text. We'll start off with Rachel from Taupo. Welcome to the program, Rachel. Good morning.

Morena to you. What happened? What was the breach of wedding etiquette? So my mother-in-law wore all white to our wedding. We have quite a tense

relationship, so I wasn't really surprised. Oh, ouch. Now, was this your first wedding like Ben mentioned or were you tainted, stained?

So you had to wear another colour? First and only, but it wasn't her first, was it? Oh! The beef is still sizzling. I love it. So was this a strategic move or just like a coincidence? Definitely strategic. Yeah, right, trying to mother hen you.

Is that a thing? I don't know. It is now. Good on you, Rachel. Thank to mother hen you. Is that a thing? I don't know. It is now. Good on you, Rachel. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate your call. Remember Dunk?

We were saying he went to a wedding on the Gold Coast and the best man was making a speech. He was in no condition to make a speech. No, no. He was probably having an 85% better time than everyone else in the room. And his jaw looked like it was surgically detached from his face while he was making the speech. And he was sweating.

And it was an air-conditioned room. I think he had to be pulled aside and halfway through the speech he had to sit down. It was like, I love you all. We're going to do heaps of fun stuff after this. Tomorrow we'll go mountain hiking. We'll go to Sarah. Welcome.

How are you? Good to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast. Morena, tell us, what was the breach of wedding etiquette in Palmy? Well, my bridesmaid ended up hooking up with the bass player from the wedding band. On the bass? But the biggest breach was that I had paid for them to be playing, and he definitely was not outside. He was on stage. He was on stage.

He was on stage. He's on your doll. Were they meant to have a bass player in this band? Exactly. There's no bottom end to this music. He was getting his bottom end attended to. Oh, jeez. Well, thank you very much, Sarah.

Appreciate that. And thank you for your calls for Breaches of Wedding Etiquette. Another text here, 4487. I'm brided to wait an hour and a half for the groom's mum to turn up. Oh, wow. For the wedding to kick off. Hour and a half. That's a long time.

That beats your wait time. It does. It doubles that. Thank you for your calls and texts this morning. We appreciate it. Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Spy.

The What's Up. Spy.co.nz. All righty, producer Juliet, she's away, and Ben Boyce is walking a mile in Juliet shoes, and they look magnificent on you too, by the way. So do the leggings and the crop top too, Ben. You've got a wonderful figure, my friend. Thank you. New Year's was very kind to you.

Take it away with Spy Entertainment News. Actor and director Olivia Wilde and singer slash actor Harry Styles, they're currently dating and they're working together on a movie. Now, she's directing the movie. He's one of the lead roles. And sources, I love it when they say sources say, but sources say they've been keeping things strictly professional on set. Off set.

Wildly unprofessional. Should see all the shenanigans they're getting up to. Depraved action. But it probably makes sense when you think about it. I bet you keep it professional on set. Wildly unprofessional. Should see all the shenanigans they're getting up to. Depraved action. But it probably makes sense when you think about it. Of course you keep the professional on set. They're not going to be hooking up with each other and drink, you know. She's the director. She's in charge of the whole film set. He's one of the actors. They're keeping

things very professional. He does like the older. That's what I was going to say. Yeah, he does like the older ladies. Ten year age gap. Not that it matters at all, but just if you're... Yeah, he's 26, she's 36. Didn't he date Dame Helen Mirren or someone? They did briefly date for a while. Didn't keep things so professional on set, though.

That was the problem. That was the problem. So now he's learned his lesson. Oh, good on him. I actually saw it when I was saying the other morning I was flicking through women's magazines at the, not women's magazines, magazines. Not just for women.

Thank you. For everybody. It's 2021, mate. Yeah, pages for everyone to flick through. By women you mean like Women's Weekly, Women's Day. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. Not a sexist comment from you.

No, I love them. Some of my favourite magazines have women in the title. Okay? But I was flicking through the back, the back pages where there's photos of celebs being papped and unnecessarily age-shaming all of them too. It's like, Harry Styles 28 dating

Olivia 36. And that's how I know the age difference between them. But they were at a wedding together for his manager. Oh, they were? And Harry was there holding a whiskey in a robe, like a dressing gown, a hotel dressing gown. Was that what he was wearing to the wedding? He was in the wedding photos.

I feel like he just turned up at the wedding rather than actually he was invited. I know you, mate. I know you, Harry. I know you're fresh off a breakup with Mirren, but pull yourself together, Stiles. And Kim Kardashian West and her family

have gifted the Keeping Up With The Kardashians crew 30 Rolex watches to celebrate the end of the show. They handed over the $10,000 timepieces each

to 30 members of the crew. And Kim admitted she was sobbing as Keeping Up With The Kardashians wrapped up. What a wonderful gift. Well, 30 Rolexes cost a lot of money.

No wonder she's sobbing. 15 years of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I think they a wonderful gift. Well, 30 Rolexes cost a lot of money. No wonder she's sobbing. 15 years of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I think they pretty much, and I'm just making this up to be honest, but I think I've heard that they've had the same crew the entire time. Because that was what I was wondering. Because we've worked a little bit in the TV industry. Some days you get people that just, you know, they're booked in for one day. So what if a sound guy just turned up that one day?

Did I get a Rolex? That was the only day that that worked. And then we're like, hang on, everyone else is getting a Rolex. So lovely, lovely gesture though. It is a lovely gesture.

Millennial Max and producer Humphrey, you'll be getting a time piece as well at the end of this year. $10 warehouse. We will not be stipulating what's time.

You'll be able to tell the time on it. Yeah, that's the main thing. And that's the function of a Rolex. Is it a Rolex or is it a clock that you bought from Briscoe's? They both tell the time on it. Yeah, that's the main thing. And that's the function of a Rolex. Is it a Rolex or is it a clock that you bought from Briscoes? They both tell the time.

Exactly. And that's the important thing. Broadcasting live. And mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. It's time to look at some big news from a small town. Big news, small town, town, town, town.

Now, Wine and Cheese Festival is very, very popular over summer. And Marlborough, we know the region's got some amazing wines, but they've never had a Wine and Cheese Festival. They have been ripped off for years until this moment right now with the debut Cheese Festival to hit the region. Yes, the first South Island Cheese Festival is set to be held on Waitangi Day. And we've got the Marketing and Sales Manager of Cranky Goat, Hannah Lamb, joining us right now. Welcome to the big news, Hannah.

Hi, how are you guys going? We're going good. Thank you so much for talking to us. No worries. Now tell us about the Cheese Festival. To be honest, we hadn't heard about it, but we want to know more. We're cheesy. Awesome. Yeah, we set up the cheese festival to be a part of the Feast Marlborough Summer Feast series that is going on in Marlborough, and we thought, why not hold a cheese festival

in Marlborough, you know, the wine region, and it's on Waitangi weekend, which is going to be a great one. Wild. 1,800 different cheeses in the world I'm looking at here. Wow. So how many hundreds of cheeses are going to be available to taste at the festival? We've got around six to seven cheese companies coming now. Yeah, we're super excited.

You know, it's worked well that a lot of them are from the South Island. And we're really lucky at Marlborough. We've got, in the Marlborough and Nelson region, we've got four or five spread around. So we've got a good cheese population up here. Okay, on the count of three we all name our favorite cheese one two three either i didn't say anything i can't choose there's so

many great cheeses you went eat them too like you went i love eat them are you a friend of an edam i'm not do we know the edam joke what's the oh's the, oh no, please tell us. Okay, here we go. What cheese is made backwards? Oh! That's really good. Solid gear. That is good. You know, I was just thinking that, you know, when you talk about

going to a festival, over summer, everyone's talking about Rhythm and Vines, Rhythm and Alps, you've got Bage Rooms, but we've got a cheese festival and I'm actually quite excited

about the cheese festival. I find there's only so much cheese one can consume in a single session, though. Otherwise, you just get... It can be quite a lot to take on, can't it? It is, but you often find that because you're eating too much of the same cheeses.

Like, if you're eating too many strong cheeses, you cut out quite quickly. It's like drinking too much tequila too quickly. We had a night, some friends of ours, we had a wine and cheese festival. We wanted to have it, and everyone had to bring... You had your own festival. Yeah, we had to bring our own bottle of wine that you thought no one had a night, some friends of ours, we had a wine and cheese festival. We wanted to have it and everyone had to bring... You had your own festival? Yeah, we had to bring our own bottle of wine that you thought no one had tried before

and everyone had to bring in the company cheese along. But by the end of the night, we'd had eaten so much cheese. Like too much cheese. Yeah. Yeah, it was too much. You do get used to eating cheese once you eat a lot of it. You consume quite a lot. And the poor, you know, your poor old run-of-the-mill cheeseboard

at a barbecue really gets left behind, doesn't it, after sort of an hour or so. And by the end of the night, it's all melted and... It's sweaty. It's all sweaty. It looks really appetising at the beginning of the evening. By midnight, it's just like, you've just got drunk Barry sitting there munching on

nine-hour-old camembert. Now, I want to play a game with you, Hannah, if you don't mind. Yeah. We have a cheese-off, okay? All three of us. Ben, I'll name a cheese, you name a cheese, and we go around. Oh, well, no. Have you Googled anything?

I haven't Googled anything. Whatever. No Googling. No Googling. Okay, I'll go Google. Shut your laptop. Have you shut your laptop, Hannah? Yeah.

Hannah from the South. This is an honesty system. Hannah could be Googling right now. Okay, we'll let you take it off. You're our guest, Hannah. Okay, so we'll go for the simplest one, fatter. I'm going to go blue vein. I'm going to go a camembert. Pulumi.

Tasty. Ooh, a brie. Wait, does tasty count? Because that's actually just a name of a tea. Am I out? He's gone. I'm out. He's out. I'm going to go brie. I'm really going to win this one, Hannah, but anyway. Oh, I'm getting close to running out. I'm going to go Brie. I reckon you're going to win this one, Hannah. But anyway. Oh, I'm getting close to running out.

We'll go for the Tom De Savoy. Have you said Gouda? No, no one's said Gouda yet. Someone could have said Gouda. Gouda. No Gouda. Okay, Gouda. Okay.

Oh, running out. I've got heaps, actually. We've got a Couton, which is a French style here. Oh, okay. Chesedale slices. I could really just make them up and you'd believe me. Yeah, I know. You're just saying some French words. Listen, to be honest, your last three ones I haven't understood.

Has anyone seen Blue Vein? The Blue Vein cheese? I'm going to go with it. I see Blue Vein. Oh, did you? Okay, I'm out. I'm out. Well, no surprises that Hannah won our cheese off.

She made it up. Now, Hannah, you're the marketing manager of Cranky Goat. I was just reading as well. Now, what is Cranky Goat? So we are a small, we're a family-owned cheese, goat cheese company, obviously, in the Marlborough town. Is the goat so cranky because you keep milking it? No, we came up with the name because my father, he was in the military for a very long time

and he's always cranky. So he's the cranky goat. So if people want to go along to the Cheese Festival, where's it going to be? Yep, so it's at the Clawhonry Vineyard on State Highway 63.

It's from 10 till 4 and it's totally free. It's, you know, family friendly. We've got lawn games for the kids. We've got juices from Drop the Beat.

And yeah. Sounds like it's going to be a fun day. You look after yourself, Hannah. Keep safe. Awesome. Will do. Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Shona and Ben, breakfast on the hits. I'm Rachel

Jackson-Lees and this is the F***ing News. This is a fun game to start the week on. It's New Zealand's favourite game show behind We'll Love You When You're Coming Up but We'll Hate You When You're Successful.

A game you can play along at home, in your car or anywhere else. You might be listening to the radio right now. Yeah, you play anywhere at all. We've got newsreader

Rachel Jackson-Leese to read out or Rachel, as you like to call her. You called her that last week. Have a listen. First of all, we want to welcome Rachel.

Rachel. Rachel. Is that what we're calling her? Rachel. Rachel, our new newsreader. John hasn't taken time to learn your name. No. But he'll get there.

Maybe by tomorrow. I found that the wonderful Rachel at that moment was like, I better not be known as Rachel from this day forward. And you're making it a thing. You're turning it into a thing. I don't know Rachel that well to go, I can't start a Rachel relationship.

We've just met her. We're a week into our friendship here. She's done a wonderful job. But these are actual news headlines. Producer Humphries, B Humps, you've tracked these down over the weekend, actual news stories. Just scouring the websites. Yeah, right. In a last, late minute

11pm panic hit on Sunday night when he forgot to do it. What's the first headline? Confused pigeon filmed guarding box of at Tesco. So we have to try and work out what this is. I'm going to go confused pigeon had a box of favourites chocolates

with just the cherry ripes left. I'm just going to go box of tissues at Tesco. I'm just going to go for a good, honest... Yeah, well, the pigeon might be guarding a box of tissues. What's the actual use? Ben is close, but let's hear the headline. Confused Pigeon filmed guarding box of Cadbury chocolate eggs at Tesco. You're right.

So close. He was right. Not quite. He said cherry rice. I said caramel eggs. It's still chocolatey, you base. Cadbury too. Oh, wow.

So the pigeon had made their way into Tesco, and whether it's nesting season, I'm not too sure, but it had climbed up onto the box of caramello eggs and was protecting the eggs. Oh, like bird eggs. If you were doing a bit of Easter shopping in January, you're out of luck. A pigeon was holding onto its eggs.

I was saying a couple of weeks ago, my daughter walked into her room, screamed, and there was just a pigeon sitting there in her old house. Oh, at home, yeah. And I took it out. I don't know if that was a phone or a pigeon. I can't remember. And I carefully took it out and placed it on the deck outside. And I was like, that'll be...

Don't finish the story. It'll be fine. Don't finish the story. And the neighbours can't. I know. It was a bloodbath. A bloodbath. I know.

It's horrible. Why do you keep bringing this up? Okay, let's go to the next news story. Actual news story from around the world. Oklahoma Bill would establish a **** hunting season. I'm going to say a pigeon hunting season just to continue. Did I tell you about the time I walked into my daughter's bedroom? I'm going to go bargain hunting season.

I don't know. I don't know what other hunting we've got. No, you're both wrong there. Oklahoma Bill would establish a Bigfoot hunting season. And this is a true headline. So an Oklahoma State representative introduced the bill to establish

a hunting season. Now this just seems like an absolute travesty. The council is just taxing because you're going to of course have a licence so there'll be fees attached to it. So it's just revenue collecting, isn't it? Is Bigfoot in the region?

Is that where Bigfoot is located? There's been sightings, you know. So if you want to go hunt it, you've got to have a licence. A licence. You've got to pay your fee. Why do you want to shoot Bigfoot? Let the guy just... Let that Bigfoot galoot wander around and be happy. Yeah, that's a good one.

He doesn't need to be hunted. Yeah. Well, if the neighbour's cat came over, though, you'd never know what's going to happen. I'll tell you what needs to be happy. Yeah, that's a good one. It doesn't need to be hunted. Yeah. Well, if the neighbour's cat came over though, you never know what's going to happen. I'll tell you what needs to be hunted. Pigeons. Get those. The final headline. Parrot returns to owner speaking **** four years after disappearing. I'm going to say

speaking some truth bombs about the owner's sloppy parenting and losing the parrot. Okay. I'm going to say maybe it didn't speak. It was just tweeting everything. Being a bird. Here we go. Parrot returns to owner speaking Spanish four years after disappearing. Wow. So get this.

A guy in California, an English guy in California, had a grey African parrot. It went missing. Four years later, it returned and had it lost its British accent and it's like, hola! Speak fluent Spanish. Wow. That's impressive.

That's incredible. Very impressive. There was that wonderful story out of the UK too where one lockdown last year that a lot of people were buying pets, you know, to keep them company. It was probably a good time to train pets and whatnot. And parrots were adopted by many households,

but then they came out of lockdown and they sort of ended up going to a zoo. But a lot of people during lockdown had just taught their parrots to swear. So kids would turn up to the zoo and they'd just get abused by foul-mouthed parrots. And thank you very much for News and Beats. It was a lot of fun.

Want more Jono and Ben? You I grew up with a very dear friend of mine Kevin who was from South Korea And kimchi Really It's a staple in the Korean diet Kimchi and for many years Because I had a shocking incident which involved kimchi not agreeing with my digestive system

at his household. And long story short, my mother had to come around with a spade and sort a problem out. I feel like you should connect some dots, but anyway, I know the story. Very stinky farts. What I did was I went to the lavatory and

it wasn't a textbook trip. What had happened is the system had obviously malfunctioned and I panicked and what was in there I scooped out and threw out the window and then my mother had to come up with a spade and sort the problem out. And for many years

I pinned that on kimchi, but it wasn't kimchi. And it wasn't. We later found out it wasn't. No. So I apologise to the kimchi-loving community. Anyway, wonderful time of morning to be awake, isn't it? And celebrities, they're just like us.

They like to wake up. They're a better class of person, but some of them are waking up way earlier than we are. And I just, mainly I looked at this because I was like, we get up at a disgusting hour. Are there other people out there who have a worse schedule? The Rock. Oh yeah, he loves getting up early, right?

Highly publicised routine, The Rock. He's up at 3.30 every morning. He's on the elliptical, what's the trainer called? The elliptical. The elliptical. He's getting up into that. Is he doing cardio? He does cardio. I just thought he'd straight hit the gym.

No, he does that later in the morning. Get them gains? Yeah. He gets up, he only gets three to five hours sleep a night. Dwayne The Rock Johnson. That's not healthy. That is, well, I guess some people can survive on minimal sleep. He's always constantly working. His thing is always be the hardest worker in the room.

That's his thing. So he always wants to be that person that's working harder than everyone else. And when you're up at 3.30, you're the only one in the room, so you win by default. So congratulations to Dwayne the Rock Johnson there. But he says he likes to get up at that time because that's before the kids get up and before the animals get up. Yeah. So he has his alone time. Barack

Obama, he's a quarter to seven guy. Okay, that's a bit more reasonable, isn't it? Reads a few newspapers, eases into the day. Now, is this Obama now? This is obviously not him as president. This is presidential Obama. Oh, presidential Obama. Presidential Obama has breakfast with the family.

I would have thought they'd be up earlier than that. And begins work just before nine. But maybe you're working late at night, so maybe that's... He does. He goes till 10 or 11 at night. Yeah, right. But always makes a point of having dinner with the family. Okay.

When he was president. Here's one for you that you'll enjoy. The psychopath Mark Wahlberg. Oh, yes. I've heard about his schedule before. It's an unusual schedule. He's in bed by six o'clock at night. He's up at two, working out. at night. He's up at 2 working out.

2 a.m. 2 a.m. I can't help but feel if he just bumped his schedule by a couple of hours, he could go to bed at 8. Yeah. He could be up at 4. And then you'd still be like, oh, he's up early. But it's not, yeah, okay.

Jennifer Aniston, up at 4.30 meditating every morning. And here's a favourite one, and it's quite topical, Winston Churchill. I was going to say Winston Peters. Same era. We went to school together. Winston Churchill. I just found this intriguing. So this is when he's the Prime Minister of Britain,

in the middle of wars, up at 7.30, stays in bed till 11. Just reading newspapers and dictating to secretaries from his bed. Oh yeah, because on The Crown, the first series of The Crown they have all that and he's always in bed like he's talking and doing his things. I think he wasn't very well later in life, but he was just kind of running his operation out of bed.

11am, he has a bath for an hour with a whiskey. Pre-l lunchtime whiskey this guy's in the middle of a war running a country okay 1 till 3

lunch little bit of work then playing backgammon with his wife this is from 1 till 3 you gotta take time to you know

to rekindle the romance 5pm just a cheeky hour long nap oh okay well he's worked out he's had a whiskey and a bath Two Bitty Squibs. A romance? Yeah. 5 p.m., just a cheeky hour-long nap. Oh, okay. Well, he's worked hard. He's had a whiskey and a bath.

It'd make me anyone sleepy. 6 p.m., another bath. Another bath. Oh, hygiene's good. With a bit of dinner, some socialising and smoking for a few hours. Wow, what a heck of a schedule. And then in bed at 12.30. What a schedule.

That's my kind of guy. Yeah, he's sort of leading the life of a university student, but a well-funded university student. And that's what time celebrities get up and some celebrities from this year as well. Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits.

Scrolling through your feed. All right, if you wanted a news update of half-truths and very little research, well, then you have come to the right pace. Ben Boyce, what's been happening overnight, baby? Well, the talk in New Zealand this morning is around COVID. After two months without COVID-19 in the community, it seems New Zealand has its first community case since November. We've done so well for two months.

Ministry of Health has revealed the locations around Northland that a woman who has tested 10 days after being in quarantine, she's tested positive for COVID-19. She's done all the right things. She's scanned in everywhere she went. And those businesses now, they're saying if you were there at the business during that time, maybe get a test and isolate until you get your test results. But they're not, no cause for panic at the moment.

I mean, we've beaten COVID-19 in the community before, so fingers crossed we can do it again. I like panicking. It's one of my favourite three hobbies. I love how that goes. Along with gardening. Chris Hipkins is like, don't need to panic. The supermarkets, he's like, oh, now you're putting it in our heads. Yeah, as soon as you say don't panic, it makes me panic. You're like, the supermarkets?

Are they not going to be? I can't even get to my house, it's just full of toilet paper. Just panic toot paper that I've purchased. But good on her for scanning everywhere. I can't even get to my house. It's just full of toilet paper, just panic tot paper that I've purchased. But good on her for scanning everywhere. I can't say I have been the safest pair of hands when it comes to scanning. How about you? I'm pretty good around Auckland. But I struggled a little bit during the holidays because sometimes you'd go places, you know,

without your phone or you're popping in and, you know, so you're like, oh, yeah. So it's a good wake up call, I think, for New Zealand in general, just to everyone we need to scan. Yeah. The thing is, too, and I'd be one of those people that you get the pitchforks out for, and the numb nuts didn't scan anywhere. I'd be like, oh, God, you know?

I would be slagging myself on the radio. I'm one of those people. I need to pick my... You've got a chance to do it, you know? Let's start from now. Let's do it, all right? It's a scam. New year, new me, new scanner. This I found

really interesting. The Queen has at Windsor Farms, there's a shop and it's selling a cannabis infused energy drink and it's apparently flying off the shelves. Now, it's a legal drink. It's an energy drink called Trip and it's made from marijuana

compound and it comes in different flavours. It's made from marijuana compound. And it comes in different flavours. It's for sale in the Queen's shop. And it is going out the door. Oh, the Queen. She loves a high tea. High tea with the Queen. There you go.

Literal high tea. Can you go and tour through her residence, can you? Well, the farm. I think the home park, which is near Windsor Castle, opened in 2001. So there you go. Yeah. I don't imagine at the moment, because obviously things are quite locked down in the UK with COVID, so I don't imagine you can just wander through

as much as you could have maybe a few years ago. It sounds like a prank Harry did before he was dragged away kicking and screaming from his family. Well, there we go. That was a lovely update, Ben Boyce. That's scrolling through your feed and now you can go to the office,

stand around the water cooler, have a bit of chit-chat with the colleagues. That's right. They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand.

Something we do every day on the show we call a different town or city in New Zealand. We do one a day. We do it alphabetically, and we like to learn about each place that we call up. Today we're heading to Kinloch, which is located near Taupo. And Kinloch, did you know, derives from the Scottish Gaelic, Cianloch, meaning the head of the loch.

So I just did that so we can just say we're a mildly factual programme. But loch, obviously, being the Scottish word for lake or sea inlet, the land was originally named Whangamata Station, but was renamed to distinguish it from the beachside town in the Bay of Plenty of Whangamata. Some of the most Googled questions about Kinloch include,

can I retire in Kinloch? Is it legal to ride my mobility scooter on the road in Kinloch? And does Kinloch have good reception for Newstalk ZB? And we're about to head through to the local store now. Hi there, this is the Kinloch Store. You're speaking with Chloe. Chloe from the Kinloch Store. Yes.

Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Mate, I'm sorry to bombard you with this on-the-spot telephone call. Very rude of us to turn up unannounced, but we are calling every town and city in New Zealand. Oh, okay. We're deep in the Ks right now, and I don't know if you know, but Kinloch starts with K.

Yes, it does. And we like to learn about each place that we call up. We surprise someone with a phone call, and they're unprepared, but they fumble their way through it. So now it's your turn to tell us about Kinloch. Oh, Kinloch. Yeah, so it's like a little village, like 20 minutes out of Taupo.

Yeah, it's like a holiday place. A lot of old people here. So in the winter, it's pretty much just old people. So it's right on the lake in Taupo as well, right? Yeah, yeah. It's like just, there's a nice little spot on the lake here. Oh, beautiful. One of my favourite parts of New Zealand around there.

It really is. Yeah, it is nice there. It's a beautiful place. Nice in the summer. My only fact, and Ben will know what I'm about to say, and I want to see if you know my only fact, if you don't mind. Do you know my only fact, Ben? Oh, this is the one about how big the lake is. Yeah, yeah.

Do you know how big the lake is and what could fit into that lake, Chloe? Oh, um... No, maybe... I'll stop you there. It's the size of Singapore. Oh, wow. Yeah, so the whole of Singapore could fit in Lake Taupo.

I didn't know that, no. There you go. But yeah, the population, we're not talking about putting all the people in. Well, I guess you would be putting all the people in, but you're right. Yeah. I've got another fact, too. I've right. Yeah. I've got another fact too.

I've got a joke. I've got one joke. Does it relate to the Kinlock? No, it's not Kinlock related. Well, that's not a show and tell. I've got stories about my childhood, but I'm not going to talk about them now. Unless it relates to Kinlock,

let's just talk about Kinlock. I'll call you back another day and tell you a joke. You're at the store at the moment? Yes, yeah. You guys do pizzas and burgers as well too, by the look of it? Yeah, yeah, we do everything, takeaways, coffee, pizzas. That's good.

Now, I always wonder when you work at somewhere like a cafe or a McDonald's or a Burger King or whatever, do you get to eat the food on your breaks? Yeah, we sometimes eat a bit more than we should, but we do. And so the money in the till, can you take that as well? Yeah, as long as no one's watching. That's another perk of the job. Well, thank you so much for talking to us today and we'll have to come visit you if we're ever down in Kinloch.

Yeah, sounds good. Can I just stop you there, Ben? Do you know how many times he has said that to people on this journey? I said we'll have to. He said, we'll come by and visit you when we're ever in Kinloch. Now, he drove through a place. I did think about it. He drove through a place in Northland that we had called previously

that he had again told that we'd come in and visit. And I went, oh, that's the place that I was going to go in and visit. And then I went, oh, that'd be a bit awkward, me coming in going, hey, I'm the guy from the radio. So it's a baseless comment from him. You should come to the store, though. Okay, well, there we go. Oh, hey, I'm the guy from the radio. So it's a baseless comment from him. You should come to the store, though. Okay, well, there we go. Will you?

Will it be too awkward, Ben? It might be awkward. Have I made it awkward now? You've made it awkward. Chloe, do you want to do an ad for Kinloch? What do I do? You don't sound fully confident. What?

So we've written the ad. You've just got to fill in the blanks, okay? Okay. Welcome to the beautiful, tranquil in the blanks, okay? Okay. Welcome to the beautiful, tranquil... Kinloch. There you go. When you come to visit, you simply must check out the... Kinloch store. And as the locals always say...

Come to Kinloch. Are they always saying that? No. I can't imagine anyone's walking to wander around Kinloch. I don't like it when everyone goes, yeah, yeah. And are you saying it to each other? You're like, well, I'm already in Kinlock. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When it comes to Kinlock. If you haven't visited this beautiful location, it will have you saying... Get right here to Kinlock right now. And once those words have left your mouth, believe it or not, further words will fall from your mouth. Don't go to Topol.

Come 20 minutes and come to Kinloch. A lot of conversation around coming to Kinloch. But be sure to pop in so the locals can tell you the town slogan. We're all happy in Kinloch. I love your work, mate. You can look after yourself, Chloe. Yeah, you too. See you, buddy.

Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben Breakfast on the Hits The Hits by thewhatsupby.co.nz alright strap yourselves in and get ready for a wild ride of defamatory celebrity gossip presented by Benjamin Ross Boyce come on in

and our US Senator Bernie Sanders you would have seen him all over the internet after the inauguration of Joe Biden. So he was sitting there because it was social distancing going on. So he was sitting there. It almost looked like a fold-up chair. A fold-up chair? Is that what they are?

Fold-down chair? Fold-up chair? A camping chair. Yeah, a camping chair. He was sitting there. He had mittens on. He had a face mask. He wasn't quite dressed for the occasion.

And he looked a little bit like he was over the day. He was wrapped up warm, wasn't he? He'd been taken out by the family. They're like, come on, Grandad, we'll take you out for a day. I don't want to leave my warm room. Come on, we'll go to the park. And he's sitting there all disgruntled in the middle of the Cornwall Park. Yeah, so that photo has been photoshopped into movies and TV show scenes

from Sex and the City, from Deadpool. We even did it on Jono and Ben. We played the game as well. Oh, we got suckered into it. We love a hype. And everyone wanted to know what Bernie Sanders has thought. Has he seen the photos? Has he seen the memes?

He was on a US talk show and he had this to say. Were you aware that this photo was immediately sort of became the meme of the day? Not at all. I was just sitting there trying to keep warm, trying to pay attention to what was going on. Does your staff show them to you? Here you are with the Sex and the City girls? Yeah, I've seen them.

He's trying to keep warm and trying to pay attention as to what was going on. Good on him. That's your job, isn't it? As a guest at an inauguration? Many people said he was kind of dressed, he kind of looked like the inauguration was one thing to do on his list of things that day. He had to go get milk, he had to go to Joe's thing, he had a whole lot of things to do that day. That was one

stop at his day. So the internet will remain undefeated as far as that goes. Bernie Sanders ran for president, didn't he? That's right. He was going to be the Democratic nominee, right? That's right. So it could have been him up there. Have they got anyone under the age of 50 who could be a president?

Not currently. Anyone? No. And as well as that, actor Eva Mendes, you'll know her from the many movies she's been in over the years, as well as the fact she's married to Ryan Gosling. Well, she's revealed why she's been silent on social media lately

because her daughter shamed her. She said, Mum, you're spending too much time on your phone. You're not being in the moment. So now she's like, Oh, you're right. So she's now putting her phone away and trying to be more present.

Oh, doesn't that suck when the kids make you feel bad like that? Yeah. Shut up, kids. I'm doing a put it. No, I'm not actually. I'm doing TikTok videos here. I'm making Bernie Sanders

into a meme and I'm putting it everywhere. Oh, you want to spend time with me? I want to get some likes on the internet. Yeah, I think you can all

kind of relate to that, right? I find that sometimes when you have to come home and work on your computer, you feel so guilty and they're like, Daddy,

come and play Sylvanian Families. I'm writing some silly jokes to say some silly defamatory things to say about being here. But then give them the phone and they'll be like, they'll be gone for hours. Yeah. Do you know what? Oscar, we pulled him off his iPad, off the iPad

for the last three days and jeez he's so much more engaged. Yeah. Instantly. Yeah. It's kind of like the old days we used to find things to do, you know, rather than just a screen. He was like talking and stuff. I haven't spoken to you in years. We've reconnected our relationship.

That is Spy Entertainment News. From stealing Mike Hosking's car to stealing the hearts of New Zealand. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on The Hits. Actual hearts being not bestowed. Why is today going to be a good day? We'd love to hear from you on 0800 The Hits. Tell us, big or small, why today's going to be good for you. Justin Bieber, did you see over the weekend that he put something up on Instagram?

I thought it was actually quite lovely. He said he put a photo up of seven years ago, which was pretty much to the day that he was arrested in Miami. And he said, seven years ago today, I was arrested. Not my finest hour. Not proud who I was in life. I was hurting said, oh, seven years ago today, I was arrested, not my finest hour, not proud who I was in life. I was hurting, I was unhappy, I was confused, I was angry, and I was also wearing far too much leather for someone in Miami.

It was like leather shorts almost, but long leather shorts. But anyway, he said how he's turned his life around through encouragement. He said, don't let your past be a reminder of how far you can go. It was very sweet. Yeah, it was, yeah.

Well, leather, yeah, a full leather suit would be, you know, not conducive to a hot climate. No, can go. It's very sweaty. It was, yeah. Well, a full leather suit would be, you know, not conducive to a hot climate. No, no. It'd be quite clingy. Yeah, yeah. He regrets a lot of things and obviously he's got

a lot of faith in God at the moment and he reckons that's helping turn things around. Well, he runs to the altar like a track star. That's what I've heard. Good on him.

Good that pop up as a Facebook memory for him. Oh, that's right. Yeah, he probably did, actually. There's probably a few grim Facebook memories. Remember the bucket? The bucket. Oh, he peed into a bucket.

Oh, well, good on him for changing his life, man. Yeah, that's awesome, eh? Positive stuff, eh? That's what we're doing right now. We're going out on a... We're trying to change our wayward ways as well. On a positive. Ben was peeing in a bucket this morning.

We'll look back on that. Not anymore. Not anymore. He's changed now, three hours later. Let's go to Joe. How are you in Christchurch this morning, Joe? Are you doing well, mate? Am I having one of those things

where I have a conversation with someone and they just can't... I feel like you can hear him, but I can't. Maybe you've made Joe up. Joe, are you there? Joe's not there. No, Joe's not there. And Joe's 38 weeks pregnant as well.

Oh, wow. So Joe's a female too, Ben. Yeah. Yeah. So you said, I feel like you can hear Joe. Oh, well. So Joe's a female too Ben. Yeah. You said I feel like you can hear Joe. Oh right. I feel like you can hear him. Congratulations Joe that's fantastic. We'll go to Jason in Auckland. Why's it going to be a good day for you? Jason. How are you mate?

Please start talking and save this thing because it's quickly diving into a shambles. Why's it going to be a good day for you mate? It's going to be an awesome day because at 10 o'clock this morning we're going to put an embryo in the girlfriend. So it's going to take. I'm positive.

I'm going to have a baby. You're going to have a baby? Oh, you're doing IVF this morning? That's awesome. That's wonderful news. Thank you. Good luck for that. You can name the baby The Hits or Skinny Mobile. Why don't you name the baby Skinny Mobile, our fine partners?

If this one takes, I'll name it Skinny. Oh, yeah. I've got two more in the freezer. Yeah, Skinny will be happy with it. Good luck with them. Oh, good luck. Good luck with that big, yeah, hopefully life-changing moment today. It's very exciting.

Hey, we'll give you some hell pizza to munch on while that's happening, okay? Good stuff, guys. Thank you. Thank you for listening, Jason. Appreciate it. Appreciate all of you listening really do, and thank you for being part of a good day. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from six on the hits.

And via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on the hits breakfast. Friends of Skinny.