Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - January 26 - Matt Chishom, Big News Small Town, Your Lost & Found Stories...

Episode Date: January 26, 2021

Our BIG competition of the year 5 Words for $5,000 went crazy today as Hayley scored herself $5K after matching 5 Words with Ben! Today we caught up with Hannah McQueen who gave us some hot tips on saving some quick cash. We talk about things you have lost and found, and chat to TV personality Matt Chisholm about a dramatic tale after he lost his laptop (which also had the only copy of his half-written book on it!!). On a side note, make sure you listen out for the moment when Ben takes the completely wrong end of a story. It ends in spectacular fashion... 😂😂See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Two dads just trying to fill some airtime. Some might say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us. That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Hey, thanks for hanging out with us. We appreciate it in this wonderful studio of ours. Very busy studio at the moment. We've got a bloody chemist's warehouse display going on.

We've got Countdown products which are delivered daily. Flowers which have arrived from Countdown. The soundproof booth. It is busy up in here. It is busy. A lot going on this morning. I've got Ben's beautiful smiling face looking at me. Couldn't be better.

Couldn't be happier. Although last night it was a straw that broke a camel's back in our household for, I would say, even years, probably safe to say. A passive-aggressive confrontation's been going on between Jen, my wife, and myself. Right. And glasses. And this is something that I'm sure you're listening and you, I hope you're listening too, Ben, just across from me. Are you listening?

Yeah, I definitely am listening. You'll have an opinion on glasses, your standard drinking wear glasses. Yeah. Do you go face up or face down when you put them in the cupboard? Oh, I see. All right, yeah. You're a glass half full type of guy, so you'll have an opinion on this. I'm going to say you're probably a glass up person.

Yeah, we do. We have our glasses up. But I have been to other houses where they will put them down. Yeah, I'm a glass up guy. And, hey, I'm fully aware of falling debris. You know, falling debris that can happen with a glass up situation. When she's over at your house and she's a little drunk, she falls all over. Who, falling debris?

Debris, debris. She's always falling down. I'm going to stop inviting debris over. Always falling. So clumsy. But then I would say the argument is that, you know, how clean is the thing? Face down, you've got a compromised rim, don't you? Yeah, you're putting the rim on where your lips are going to go on,

that you're going to drink from that, and you don't always, that's not always clean. Falling debris, could it already fall on that? So what has been happening is, Jen, she says she doesn't mind a glass half down, I'm glass half up. So we've ended up with a cupboard of 50-50, depending on who's emptied the dishwasher, as to where the glass is.

Oh, so it's kind of a race to kind of get in. It's a race, yeah. And so that's why I want to open a text poll, so I can bring you into my marital discussions, 4487. Are you glass up, glass down in the cupboard? Yeah. It's also like the forks up, forks down, and knives up, knives down in the dishwasher, isn't it?

Yeah, but then I think there's some safety issues about some knives up. Oh, knives up. Yeah, knives up. Again, Jen's knives up. I'm like, you're just creating a stamping environment when you want to clear the dishwasher. Because you've got the dishwasher open too.

I mean, you know, again, a falling debris's around. Now she could fall down on the knife that's facing up. Now these are the sort of arguments that make you realise COVID isn't the most important thing in the world. It's stuff like this that we need to get to the bottom of. You say this is what really matters. This is what Ashley needs to be talking about. These are the numbers we want to know.

Who's putting the glasses up? Who's putting the glasses down? 4487. We'll collate the data. It'll be like a Colmar Brunton poll and I'll give you the results. Okay. And I'll take it home, print it out. You want it to sway your way, though, don't you?

Because you're not going to take the results back if everyone's like, put the glasses down. Well, the good thing is I've got this team on my side, don't I? You're all on my side. You don't have me. I'm really sorry. Are you glassed down?

I'm glassed down and I'm knives up. Has it been a tradition in your family to be glassed down? No, actually, my family are glassed up. I think it just looks neater. Well, you tradition in your family to be glassed down? No, actually, my family are glassed up. I think it just looks neater. Well, you've disappointed your family, and you've disappointed me. The team of five million are very disappointed by that. Experts in semi-accurate, half-remembered information. Vaguely known information, but maybe not correct.

Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Now, just continuing on with the glass debate. Glasses up or down in the cupboard. Just another follow-on text. You've given us so much time. There's some big issues going on in the hits. Now, just continuing on with the glass debate. Glasses up or down in the cupboard. Just another follow-on text. You've given us so much time. There's some big issues going on in the world. Another text here. I mean, it's the sort of thing,

this could drive a couple to divorce. Yeah, true. A disagreement like this, Ben. You don't come to the show for those big issues. You come to the show for this sort of stuff and winning money. So, yeah, it's good. Yeah, just two desperate guys

trying to fill in three hours of radio show. But a text here. I worked in a bar for many years. We would be told to store the glasses down, but if they weren't used in two days, no oxygen flow meant for quite the smelly glass. However, they did have glasses up on one occasion and asbestos fell in the glass up. Oh, jeez.

So maybe sideways is a good call. I love the classic scene in the movie where the bar person is always, you know, always rubbing the glass, polishing the glass. It's always the thing to do. I've never seen a bartender polish a glass. I was there with a little tea towel doing the, G'day, guys, how you doing?

The only thing I've seen bartenders do is ignore me and serve 30 other people instead of me. You're in front of the line. You'll be like, oh, no, the lady over there. Okay, she's getting served. Oh, no, you. Now, yesterday we were talking about the Queen. She's got a new, she's selling an energy drink at her farm,

at Windsor Farm. There's a store. She's not there actually selling it, but they are selling one that has cannabis and it's a legal form of cannabis. And I was actually talking to some of my family. High tea with the Queen. We said that should be the name of the energy drink.

Yeah, and I was actually talking to some of my family and they were saying about a neighbour there, an elderly neighbour that we used to have back in Masterton. She had a wee incident a couple of years back with actually marijuana. She owned her house and- Now, for a guy who vehemently denies any association, you know, with Acapulco gold,

old Snoop Dogg over here. A lot of his content, Max, you'll notice, Millennial Max. A certain theme developing. This elderly neighbour that we used to have, she had her house and she also had a rental property. And she loved gardening. She loved spending time in the garden. And when tenants moved out of the rental property,

she found some seeds in the shed. And she was like, oh, hey, these seeds, I'll plant these. And so she planted these in the backyard. It wasn't until she had family coming around. Go, do you know what plant that is? And she goes, no, I don't know what it is, but it's going great. Look at it. It's going really, it's really flourishing.

And they're like, yeah, that's a marijuana plant. You're going to have to get rid of that. She's like, oh, really? And especially because another family member was just starting to see a police officer who was going to come over for like a family tea. And she panicked. She was like, I need to get rid of this. And she burnt it into like an outlandish bag.

And then she burnt it. A panic burn. But they got quite woozy apparently from the fumes. It was like a panic burn of marijuana burning in the neighbourhood. The only weeds that the elderly should deal with is the Japanese honeysuckle, the noxious garden weed. But they're so cute. No one ever cast any suspicion on an over 80. Do you? They can get away with anything. They could even rob a bank. Like if you saw an 85 year old with a balaclava on, you'd be like, oh, you look so cute and vulnerable.

Get in there. Get in there. The police would be like, we'll turn a blind eye. Get in there. Help yourself. Hop on your scooter and be on your way. From stealing Mike Hosking's car to stealing the hearts of New Zealand. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits.

Actual hearts being not bestowed. Now, we want to open up the phones for epic tales of lost and found. When you've lost something and you manage to find it later. My mother in law Joyce, 30 years she threw a ring, a wedding ring out the window at her old house and this was in a fit of rage

this was like the marriage was done it was done. This was Adele, this was Adele and her ex-husband, this is when it was getting you know. She's like I don't need this anymore it's out the window and then had been in the garden many times over the years and then found it 30 years later in a different part of the garden. It was just one day we were doing some gardening and I was like, what's this down here?

Oh, there's my wedding ring. And it made her even angrier. So she threw it again. It's like the ring that keeps coming back. It's amazing, isn't it, when you lose? I mean, Ben, you lost your virginity. Right. And then you found it again when you purchased a Velcro wallet from Smiggle.

I love my Velcro wallet. But I lost my wallet. Remember I lost my wallet? And I couldn't find it anywhere. And you ride it out a bit because you don't want to go and replace the cards and all the contents of it in case you do find it. Maybe it'll turn up or I'll find it where I left it. Yeah, and now I've got new driver's licence,

new credit cards, EFTPOS cards, new coffee loyalty cards, Bunnings loyalty cards. And then I find it literally about three days later. So you've got two of everything now, right? Two of everything. I look like an international man of mystery who loves a bargain coupon. TV reporter and presenter Matt Chisholm,

he's got a pretty epic tale of lost and found. It's been in the news the last couple of days. You know, Matt, he was a host of Celebrity Treasure Island and Survivor. Now, he was in Queenstown at the airport returning home and he put his laptop, his laptop bag on the roof of his car and then drove away. And on his laptop was a book he was writing, like 70,000

words that he hadn't backed up. It was an autobiography, wasn't it? Yeah, so it wasn't until we got to the place that it was going that I think he got home and he was like, oh my goodness, I realised that my laptop is not there, it's on the roof of the car. Long gone. And it was eventually found, but Matt is on the phone now. First thing

that was going through your head, Matt Chisholm, when you discovered it was gone. Oh! Ah! Rout! Called my wife because she always knows what to do in a situation like this. And she's like, mate, you've got to go back. There's no hope.

You've got to go back and just drive and just walk along the bloody side of the roads, roundabouts, all that jazz. So I go to the police station. No one there. And so I'm heading back to Tracement Steps and I'm all over the road because I'm trying to get onto iCloud because apparently you can trace your MacBook or something. Anyway, I was going over the wrong side of the white line. Someone reports me to the cops.

The cop brings me up. I thought it was a hoax. He's like, hey, mate, is that you, Matt? And I'm like, yeah, it is. He goes, you driving that black VW? Yeah, I am, mate. He goes, we just had a call. You're not on booze, eh?

I said, mate, I've been sober for 10 years, but I am probably driving radically. Here's why. I've just been to see you, actually. He gives me a drive around, can't find anything. And then I start walking along the side of the road again, and I see some speech notes in my laptop bag. So I'm like, must drop that here.

It's 2.2km away from Carth Park at Queenstown Airport. And it's 10.30 at night, and I get a message, hey, this guy's found that he's on Queenstown Trade. He's saying, he's got your laptop. No way. I message him, he's in Cromwell with my laptop. And it works, so it wasn't damaged badly? It's bunged up on the

sides when it hit the deck at 80k an hour so I get to his place at quarter past 11 at night in Cromwell reunited with my working laptop. Oh my god. And here's the thing, you are writing a book at the moment and... 72,000 words you'd written towards this book on that laptop.

That's right and I'm pretty sure I only had, because I'm not very smart, right? I only had, I think, 25,000 words backed up onto a hard drive. Oh, so you hadn't saved the other 35,000-odd words? Yeah, no, I think, yeah, I hadn't saved, I think it might even be 45,000. I'm going to show you maths up on the wireless.

Hang up on him. Ben, I said, what was the one condition to interview Chisholm? Don't show Jono's maths up. It's the prerequisite for any interview. No one calls out my mathematics. Now, do you know, when we were being told this story, I said, why hasn't he got it on a Google Drive?

And Ben said, don't say that to him. Yeah, I was like, because I didn't realise you'd found it at the time. And I was like, no, he doesn't need to hear that. That's the one thing you don't need when you lose something. He's like, why didn't you back it up? Why didn't you? I don't need that right now. Oh, mate, yeah.

Mate, because I'm a numpty. Good on you, Matt Chisholm. Thank you very much. You're a good man. Thanks, fellas. Go well. That's a remarkable tale. And now we want to hear yours.

What did you lose and how did you find it? When all hope was lost, where did you find the thing you lost? I'd love to have you in this morning. 0800 the hits is the phone number. Hannah, you're on New Zealand's Breakfast. It's lovely to hear from you. How are you? I'm good.

How are you guys? We're doing well. What was your lost and found? I lost my house key at a house party of a friend of mine, and four years later we started dating and moved house, and I found my key in his couch. It was meant to be.

Oh my goodness. It was meant to be. Wow. Yeah. I've got no follow-on comments. That's just a wonderful story. That's a wonderful... And then he also unlocked the key to your heart.

Exactly, yeah. That's a wonderful tale. It was meant to be. There you go. I always, how do you, now what happens when you lose your house key? Because it's not like you can take your door to Mr. Minute in the mall to do a cut of the key.

Well, I was flatting at the time and I was really nervous about telling my flatmates that I'd lost the house key because we lived in like a busy place in Glendon and it's a small town. And yeah, we just cut a new one and wrote it off because we didn't think we'd find it again, but we did. There you go, Hannah and Picton.

Wonderful tale of lost and found. You have a good day, eh? You too, guys. All right, we'll head to Sandy. Welcome in Wellington, Mortena, Sandy. Lost and found. Well, actually, a couple of years ago, we were holidaying up in Castle Point,

took the cat with us. Um, couldn't find the cat when we were leaving Castle Point, devastated. Um, two months later down in Wellington, he just turned up. Two months later? Yep. Wow. That's quite a big distance from Castle Point to Wellington. That's incredible.

Yeah. Yeah. It took a lot of work out what happened there, but we never know. Might've jumped in the car or someone else's car. I don't know. No, cats can't talk. They can't regale the tales of their journey. Here come my last couple of months, guys.

Let me tell you about it. They can't. You're right. They must have like a beacon, animals, eventually tracking their way back, you know? Yeah. You hear these stories quite often, hey, of cats when people move to a new place

and the cat walks back to the old place. You also hear stories of cats being run over as well. Well, yeah, but they're not quite the sort of stories we want to talk about. Yeah, good on you, Sandy. Have a good one. We'll go to Rochelle in the Hawke's Bay. How are you, mate? Good morning. Lovely to have you on. What was your lost and found? So, I'm quite notorious for forgetting where I've parked my car. So, one morning after a few lovely beverages, I got up and I was like, oh no, here we go again.

Here we go, we're on this journey again. Here we go, yeah. It's you and Ashton Kutcher. Yeah, exactly. All my friends are giving me heck and I'm like, guys, no, this is getting serious. It's been an hour and a half now. I can't find my bloody car.

Turns out, get a call from a cop. Someone's taken it for a hoon around the corner into a bank and parked it up there. Oh, so someone had actually taken it. It wasn't just you being forgetful. No, for once, it wasn't my peanut brain forgetting where I parked. Somebody actually took it. Was that person you taking it to the bank?

Hey, after that night. Good on you, Rochelle. Look after yourself, eh? Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hits. The hits. It's just gone 7.45, so it's time for this. Five words for 5K on the hits.

You're only five words away from a massive payday. It's a game of word association. It's amazing the people that come up to you and go, I've been playing along with this, trying to see if I get the same words. We give you five words. You tell us the first word that pops into your head after those five words. If they match up with our five words, you win $5,000. This has got everyone on the edge of their seat,

which actually makes for quite the uncomfortable driving experience on the edge of a seat. But that's where we're at right now. The excitement level's building. Hayley Morena, how's Hamilton this morning? Good. I'm starting at a new work and I'm quite butterfly-y already. What are you doing?

Physio. Oh, Hayley, we've spoken before. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm talking, Hayley. Are you still staying in the physiotherapy industry? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry.

It's not a new job. It's a new building. Oh, awesome. Hey, well, good luck with that. Good luck with that. And I tell you what. I think 5K would make it feel so much better. Oh, it would.

You know, you're keeping the pressure on us right now. Which one of the two of us do you want to go to the soundproof booth and try and match up with you? Can I please play with Ben? Oh, he's the guy. I'm messing with you, sounding like we're going on a date booth and try and match up with you? Can I please play with Ben? Oh, he's the guy. I'm matching with you, sounding like we're going on a date. I mean, match up with the words, you know, just to be clear.

This is not a dating show. You're not after a long-term relationship, are you? No, no, no. I'm going to the soundproof booth. I'm going to go there. Good luck, good luck. He is the people's choice, the safe pair of hands. He's the Kamala Harris to my Joe Biden.

Hayley. Five words. First word that comes into your head. You know how the game works. Have a think. You don't have to rush these words too, mate. Okay?

Just breathe. Lawn. Have a think. You don't have to rush these words too, mate. OK? OK. Just breathe. Just breathe. Just breathe. Lawn. Mower. Peanut. Butter. Rubbish.

Bin. Bin. Right. Left. I guess the other one you could go there is... Oh, wrong. Wrong, yeah. I mean, if you want to change it, you can change it. You just sit with that for a bit. If you want to go left or wrong,

what do you think my skinny, bony friend would say? I'll stick with left. You're going to stick with left? Can I change? I'll go wrong. You're going to change it to wrong? Yep. You'll lock that in? Yep. Right, wrong. And the fifth and final

word. Hayley from Hamilton. $5,000 on the line. Mittens. Hand? Hand. Yeah. That's a weird one. Yeah, it is an odd word. It's an odd word.

I would have gone gloves. Ah. Mittens. Okay. Change to gloves. You're going to go gloves? Yes, please. Okay, change to gloves. You're going to go gloves? Yes, please. Okay. You're happy with those five words?

Yeah, I don't think those number four or five is going to... They get a bit more difficult there. Okay, all right. Let's bring them in from the soundproof booth. Ben Boyce, come on out, Producer Humphrey. With his wonderful legs. You've got great legs, Producer Humphrey. Well-defined calf muscles, my friend. You bring them out of the soundproof booth.

Benjamin Boyce, welcome back, the people's champ. I don't know why I'm the people's champ. So far, I haven't managed to match up all five words. You're the Ashley Bloomfield to this competition, my friend. I get so nervous. I can't even sit down when I come out of the soundproof booth. Now, what Hayley didn't actually tell you before you went into the soundproof booth. Here we go.

You didn't realise this, and you'll agree, Hayley, too, is that her dad doesn't love her anymore. Right. Is that correct, Hayley? Yeah, he stopped loving you, and he actually just messaged her at 7.30 this morning.

This is made up. He said, one way I would have considered loving you again is if you paid me $5,000. This is fake news. This is a father-daughter's love on the line here, Ben Boyce. Okay, Hayley, I'm going to do my best for you. Okay, having no idea what the words are coming up. All right?

Yeah, do it for my dad. Do it for the love. She's just a daughter that wants to be loved, my friend. Okay. Hit the music Millennial Max Five words Matching with Hayley's

You could be our First five thousand Dollar winner I hope so Any words of advice For Ben before he Embarks Hayley Um

Do you have anything Warm on your hands I'll tell you what He has got on his hands. Litres of Purell hand sanitiser. Yeah, I'm a little bit clammy, but anyway, all right, let's get into this. I don't know what that means. First word. Lawn.

Mower? One from one. Oh, I see grass there. I was like, oh. Only four words, Sandy, between you and $5,000, Hayley. Here we go. Peanut. Butter.

Oh, two from two. Oh, it's funny in your head to go through that. It could be like, should we go for a cashew? Should we go for the, oh. Oh, this is when parts of my body start to tense up. I won't lie. I'm just trying to pause, reflect. Take your time.

Rubbish. Bin. 60%. Hayley. You could be walking into your new job with $5,000 hanging out of that pocket in the love of your father. Right. Oh.

A couple of options. What's going through your head? Oh, there's two options right now. What's going through your head? Okay. Well, the first thing that popped into my head was wrong, but the second word that popped into my head was right left. So both are good options.

I'm going to go with the first thing popped in my head, which could be wrong, is wrong. Yes. Oh, did we get it? She initially said left. She initially said left and then thought about it. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Hayley, here we go. She initially said left And then thought about it Okay Here we go

Here we go Hayley here we go Can I say here we go anymore Oh god We are down to the wire The fifth and final word $5,000 Hayley

For the love of my father Okay Oh jeez Mittens The love of my father. Okay. Oh, jeez. Mittens. Okay, well, the first word that popped in my head was to do with a meme that's floating around, but I'm not going to go with that. Gloves.

Gloves. We got it! We got it! We got it! We got it! We got it! We got it! We got it! We got it! We got it! Oh my goodness! $5,000!

I almost said Bernie Sanders. Oh, because of course the mittens he's wearing and the beard. That would have been very random and unusual. Thank God he didn't lock in Bernie Sanders. Because Hayley... I don't even need to go to work. Call your dad and let him listen to you say some words about their love, whatever. Well done.

I didn't think that was going to happen. $5,000 is all yours. Oh, my God. I love you guys. Our first winner, our first winner for Five Words 5K. Don't fear. Don't fret. It's going to be back tomorrow.

It keeps going? It keeps going, baby. Five Words 5K. You could be winning just like Hayley won there. We're going to need a cup of tea and a lie down. Well done, Hayley. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. It's time to look at some big news from a small town. Town, town, town, town, town, town. I'll keep saying town until Ben finds his notes. Town, town, town. Now, this is an amazing story. A kid, seven years old, was swimming in Christchurch in the ocean, and swimming alongside him was a $5 note.

He took it out of the water. It was a little bit tatty, but they decided his dad... I haven't even heard the word tatty in years. Is that an actual word? No, I like the word tatty. Is that a word? Wonderful usage. I just threw it out there.

I just, much like Ashley Bloomfield using the word, whatever word he used the other day that we all Googled. Assiduous. Assiduous, yeah. Searchers for tatty have shot through the roof on Google right now. So this cross-church boy found a $5 note, a little bit tatty, but they put it on Trade Me as a bit of an experiment

because he wanted to buy a motorbike. His dad said, maybe we could get $10 for this $5 note. It's now sold for $1,000. How incredible is that? Incredible. And the adorable child in question,

Zane Hinton, is with us now on the big news. Zane Morena. Hi. How are you, mate? Good. Oh, you, mate? Good. Oh, you're a cute-sounding, adorable thing. And this is what the show needs,

is a bit of cuteness. It does. I've said that for a while. I look like a giant baby, but I really don't have the cuteness, Zane. Now, how old are you, Zane? Seven. Seven years old.

Now, you found something pretty cool in the ocean in Christchurch a few weeks back. What was it? An old five-gallon ice. This is now your champagne surred. Yeah, surred. It's a red surred, isn't it? A red surred and the older version, not the plastic

money that we've become accustomed to now. Yeah, so the $5 note you found in the ocean, and that must have been pretty cool when you found it, right? Yeah. And then you decided, your dad decided to put it on Trade Me and to see what it could sell for, thinking you might get $10. But how much did it sell for? $1,000. Wow. $1,000. Jeez, you must have given yourself a high five

after that. Oh, jeez. And then I got a new motorbike with my money. Oh, you did, because that was what you wanted to get, right? Can I just stop proceedings here? Zane and I have moved on. Can I stop proceedings here? Zane, I just said you might have given yourself a high five after that. Yep. Okay, now you can move on. Now it's been acknowledged.

Hasn't he got the same reaction? That's pretty awesome. $1,000 for that. That must have just blown your mind. And you've got a motorbike saying. Yeah. Who are you whispering to, mate? He's like, these guys are shocking.

They're doing bad puns about high fives. A lovely story. The guy that bought it for $1,000, his name is Mark. He's from Carterton. Now, his wife passed away, sadly, to cancer in 2020. And he thought he'd spend some money because she was always doing lovely things. So he's kind of done it in her memory to help out a New Zealander

and a young kid. So how amazing is that? That's pretty cool, isn't it Zane? Yeah. Oh mate, that is a lovely story. That's a lovely story. I didn't think I was going to get that much. I only thought I was going to get the 700.

You've been talking to radio stations, TV stations all over the world, right? Yeah. That's pretty cool. Who's been the best one? The news. The news. You can't compete with the news. I was going to say, who's been the best one, Zane? You two.

Yeah. What a guy. What a guy. The news is way more cooler than us. That's so cool. Well, lovely to talk to you, Zane, and you enjoy your motorbike. What motorbike did you get? A two-stroke. Oh, a classic two-stroke. It's a race bike. Oh. Is it like one of those little mini ones that you'll

take around on the dirt track? Yes. Awesome. That's what we're doing today. Oh, are you going to do it today? What colour? What colour is it? It's pink and orange. Oh, are you going to do it today? Ngah, ngah, ngah, ngah, ngah. What colour? What colour is it? It's pink and orange. Oh, that sounds like it's going to go fast, mate. It does.

And it's a 50cc. It's a 50cc. Have you ridden a motorbike before or this is your debut? I have ridden, but it hasn't been a two-stroke or a four-stroke. Oh, four-strokes. You hit the two-strokes now in the big leagues. That's exciting. Can you do jumps?

Yeah. Can you? It's a whole lot bigger, this one. Yeah, let's just ease into it, eh? Let's see it. Get out there. Do a backflip, mate. No, no, we'll get there.

We'll get there one day. Do a Superman. Lovely talking to you, buddy. And well done on finding this money that turned into more money. I did. I was just wrapping it up. Again, who was your favourite interview, Zane?

You. Yeah. You are an adorable little champion, mate. Well done. Congratulations. Enjoy that motorbike and have a great day. I saw you on TV. Did you watch the dog show?

Yeah. Oh, you're a fan of motorbikes and dogs. Fan of both. Well, listen, you were fantastic, mate, and you keep up that good attitude. You're a fan of motorbikes and dogs. Fan of both. Well, listen, you were fantastic, mate, and you keep up that good attitude. You're a little champion. Thank you. All right, Zane.

Keep safe, buddy. They're proud of New Zealand. Woo! Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits.

Very eventful show this morning. Just after 7.45 this morning, we played our new game, Five Words for $5,000. A simple game of word association. We say five words, you say the first things that pop into their head and if they match up with our five words,

you get five grand. And it happened today. Five grand was given away. We are down to the wire. The fifth and final word, $5,000. Hayley. For the love of my father. Okay. Oh, jeez.

Mittens. Okay, well, the first word that popped in my head was to do with a meme that's floating around, but I'm not going to go with that. Gloves. Oh, my God! We got it! We got it!

We got it, Hayley! We got it! Oh, my goodness! $5,000! I almost said Bernie Sanders. Oh, because, of course, the mittens he's wearing and the... That would have been very random and unusual.

Thank God he didn't lock in Bernie Sanders, because Hayley... I don't even need to go to work. Call your dad and let him listen to you say, let him have some words about their love, whatever. Well done. I didn't think that was going to happen. $5,000 in all yours.

Oh, my God. I love you guys. Oh, it happened today. $5,000 back again tomorrow, 7.45. Hayley got rich quick. Yeah, that's what can happen. I mean, we just spoke to little Zane, too. Put an old $5 note on Trade Me and got $1,000 back.

He got rich quick. I can't help but feel if Zane was an adult, we would have all online bullied him. Because he's a child, he's done a wonderful, cute thing. If it was an adult, he'd be like, what are you doing, you idiot? So what we want to do right now, quick cash. What's your idea for getting some cash real quick?

And please, if possible, if they don't involve balaclavas, that would be ideal. First rule, 0800, that hits the telephone number, 4487. We're going to get a financial advisor on too, Hannah McQueen from Enable Me. She asked about things like Bitcoin. You hear about Bitcoin on the internet? Yeah, what is the best way in 2021 to make some money, you know, like to do with your finances? Is it to invest?

Is it to not spend? Quick cash. I know Ben on the weekends, you perform at hen's parties, don't you? Yeah. Wonderful little routine going there, little tragic mic over there. So make some quick cash that way. I'd love to hear from you this morning. What do you have for us?

What do you have for the nation? 0800 the hits or on the text 4487. We've got some hell pizza to give away. So give us a call this morning. Love to get your calls and texts. You can text 24487. We'll head to Kate in Auckland. Welcome to the show, Kate.

Hey. What are you doing? Quick cash. What have we got? So I run a business that uses dropshipping. So I import a whole lot of stuff in bulk, like clothes, fashion, makeup, and they store it all for me, and then I sell it on Facebook. Where do they store it?

They have warehouses, so I literally never see the product. So when do you pay for it? Once I've sold it on. Oh, right. So do they send it all out for you, did you say? They do. They hold on to it. I never see it.

This sounds amazing. So you're like the middle person for the whole thing and making it logistically all happen, but you kind of don't have to deal with any of the big admin. Exactly. And it's surprisingly easy. So you'll get your... How much are we investing, Jono?

I'm in. I'm in. Dragon's Den we're in. Is your name Charles Ponzi? Put everything in. So what you could get, for argument's sake, a pair of trousers, and you would get them to bring the trousers to New Zealand, would you? Yep, into New Zealand.

And then they will ship them out for you across the country. That's incredible. And so then once you've sold, you give them whatever you, the cheap price you purchased them for and you keep the profit. Exactly.

Well, there we go. Why have I not heard of this? You're telling everyone your financial secret, but we appreciate that. Thank you so much. Help pizza coming your way, all right we appreciate that. Thank you so much. Help eats are coming your way, all right? Thank you.

Drop shipping, a bit different to this type of shipping you're bringing in from South America there, Ben. It's more sort of secretive shipping, isn't it? We don't like to talk about that on the bottom of cargo ships, if anyone's listening. Let's go to John. Welcome, you're in Macedon. How are you? Good, good.

I love John, 13-year-old John from Macedon. We've spoken previously. Yes, we have. Okay, let's get some quick cash ideas from, 13-year-old John from Marston. We've spoken previously. Yes, we have. Okay, let's get some quick cash ideas from a 13-year-old. What have you got, mate? Sell your stuff. Eh? Sell your stuff that you don't want.

Sell your stuff? Sell your stuff, huh? You've all been selling that stuff that he's... Oh, yeah. What have you sold, John? I'm selling my squash gear at the moment because I'm just going to do summer cricket and winter rugby. Because last year I made it into the first 11s and I couldn't do rugby because rugby was...

I mean, I couldn't do cricket because... I mean, squash because squash was on rugby training nights. Right, so you're selling all your squash gear now? Yeah. Oh, well, that's a good idea. Let's see what happens. People like... you're selling all your squash gear now? Yeah. Oh, well, that's a good idea. Let's see what happens. People like... You're hoards, don't you?

You end up putting it in the garage, but you're right. You could just put it on Train Me. It's a great suggestion. Sell your stuff. And if that doesn't work, you can put all your faith in bad radio stations. Hey, mate, we had a textbook call.

We wrapped it up. Why is this kid still on? Get this 13-year-old off the phone. stations. Hey, mate, we had a textbook call. We wrapped it up. It was all going so Why is this kid still on? Get this 13-year-old off the phone. I love it. I love it.

No, you're a good job. We're going to send you out some pizza arrive, my friend. Love it. Get mastered and safe.

You'd be very foolish to invest in this programme and NZME with the fools. We are the Charles Ponzi to NZME, our parent company. Paid to talk words

and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits. You know what I'm saying today? Jono just says that song was playing 38 degrees. It's going to get to in Canterbury today. 38? Yeah.

Wild temperatures. We're getting a bit of a heat wave over from Australia. They can give us their heat wave, but we can't go over there. I see how it works. And you send our criminals back as well, but we can't send ours over there. They were letting us come over, like not quarantining, you know.

It's like, yeah, well, fair enough. They're putting pause on that just for the next three days. And speaking of pause, actually someone texted in, and I'm hoping you can get this message out on the radio, guys. With these high temperatures today,

most people aren't aware that the footpaths and roads are going to become extremely hot and be careful when walking your dogs as the pads on the bottom of their feet do burn. That's a good suggestion. Don't say we don't do heartwarming stuff on this show.

That's a great suggestion. Early in the morning and later at night is probably a good time, optimum time to walk your dogs today. Yeah, and I tell you what, an optimum time to learn about getting some quick cash this year is right now. No better time. And we're joined from Enable Me by the one and only financial advisor, Hannah McQueen.

Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you? I'm good. Good morning. Good morning to you. Thank you for chatting to us again. Always lovely to hear from you. Thank you.

I'm saying this like we regularly catch up. Yeah, I was like, how often are you talking to her? Are you getting financial advice from Hannah on the side without me, Jono? Now, Hannah, first question, Hannah McQueen. Can we call you Hannah Lightning McQueen? You certainly can. Great. All right.

That's a great name for our financial advisor. The show's financial advisor. Lightning McQueen, come on down. Hey, mate, we've just got some questions. Getting rich quick. Quick cash. Is there such a thing? What are the options?

Well, I think there is such a thing, but it's less obvious or not as readily seen by people. The fastest way to have more money is to spend less, which you think is kind of me being smart but in lockdown right a lot we couldn't spend money most of us saved 40 percent of our income which is the equivalent of a 60 percent pay rise just through not spending so that is always the fastest way to contain the cash the second uh way is to get a side hustle going, which basically is code for you need to do something else and get a bit more money coming in. We know that that's popular,

but not everyone has the time or the inclination. Is Bitcoin a legitimate thing that we should look at? It's one of the options that you can invest in. Not everyone acknowledges it as a valid option, but I know that PayPal are now letting you pay for things in Bitcoin, so that kind of affirms that it's here to stay. And anyone that's had Bitcoin knows that it's doubled in the last couple of years. So it is a thing, but because it's, I guess, an untested market, it's new,

you've got to be prepared to lose that money as well. And most people don't have money that they can afford to lose if you're just starting from a standing start. I was reading that the first Bitcoin was sold for $0.08. Now, one Bitcoin is worth $11,000. Oh, wow. One Bitcoin. So you buy fractions of Bitcoin, I understand, do you?

Yeah, you can. You can buy like a part of a coin, three quarters of a coin. I've got a friend whose dad gave her seven coins like a few years ago and now she's sitting pretty, right? Yeah, and I bet you're all laughing and like, you're crazy, Dad.

This crazy cryptocurrency. So as a financial coach, one way to save money, would you recommend not paying tax? Well, if you can legitimise it. I think with some side hustles, you know, a little bit of casual income on the side, it's kind of of a hobby nature that it falls outside of the tax net to start with. But if you actually get good at your side hustle, then by default, it's going to be caught by tax. The thing with the side hustles is, and I don't know if this is a sweeping generalisation,

you always hear about the success stories. You're like, oh, Baz out of the office, he's bringing in T-shirts from China, he's making a fortune, but you never hear about the failures. And I'm sure there's many failures. There is. And I think sometimes the side hustle highlights

that your actual job, your main job, isn't paying you enough. So that's kind of the first thing. And people who follow their passion into a side hustle normally get sick of it. So you can lose your passion as well. There are success stories, but kind of one in a thousand really kickstart or can transition from their main job into their side hustle. For most people, it's actually just trying to supplement the income and it's just another name for a second job, which is a good thing, but it's still a second job.

Now, I have a friend who, she is all about the garage sale, making hundreds of dollars, buying items, and then selling them for almost double their value sometimes on Trade Me. Is that an option to go through your attic? You might have stuff up there that is worth thousands of dollars that you don't know about. There is. I had a client, and this is kind of a bit gross,

that she was trying to get as much money as possible, so she sold everything, including used lipsticks. And she made a couple of grand in one weekend. And I'm like, is this a health and safety issue? Who cares? There's a market for second hand lipstick. Evidently. So the main takeaway

from our little financial advice conversation is to save more. That's the first thing we can do, right? Sorry, easiest way to make money is to not spend it. Save more. Earn more on the side if you can. Make it sustainable though. And maybe reflect on your actual job to see whether you need to create a different career path if you need to earn more money.

And then get the money working harder. The best form of investment, if you can afford it, is property, only because you can leverage. Second to that is business. And then you've got your shares and you've got kind of those weird and wonderful things like crypto if you're going to go off the reservation a bit. There you go.

I tell you what, you're in the right job. Hannah McQueen, Financial Force founder and director of Enable Me. Thank you so much for your time this morning. Thank you. Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Shona and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Jeez, tell you what, Millennial Max,

you made me look like a fool in front of my family last night. I just remembered this. Yesterday we were talking about the COVID app. You know the COVID app? Am I making this up in my head or not? But did Millennial Max go, oh, it's so easy, you can just open it up by tapping on the back of your phone three times? Did you say that to me?

I did. Oh, I didn't hear this. Was this some sort of millennial hoax on the old boomer? I hate to say it, but your phone's a bit old. Oh, you've been writing out the phone for way too long. Because I was like, look at this, guys. The app's so easy, you just tap on the back of your phone, and then Oscar was like, oh, maybe it's because you've got old fingers. So he was trying to tap on the phone. Old fingers. Old withery, arse-rightus-laden fingers.

I was like, sure, Millennial Max told me this. And I was almost going to text you, but it was 9.30. Watch me. My old fingers can't text. Oh, it does work on your phone. See, I need to film this and show this to my family.

So is that the first thing that pops up? Yeah, you've got to set it up, though. Michelle Dickinson. You told me none of this. Nano Girl. Got a wonderful video on it. And so you've got to set it up. You just tap on the back of it, and then you don't have to scroll through and find the COVID app.

Exactly. Yeah, if you're really lazy, can't find your app, just tap three times, but you've got to set it up. I'm almost wanting to call them right now and wake them up out of bed just so you can explain that to them. But anyway, I'll prove my point later in the day. Now, in my household last night, I got some family staying. I've had my sister and her daughters have been staying over the weekend, and my dad and my step-mom were staying. That's a full household.

Yeah. Is it too many people? No, not on the radio. I'm definitely not going to say that. They won't be up. They won't be up. Well, but last night, a little bit of drama. Dad was outside playing with our dog, Bo.

And Bo, we've talked about him. He's a big, white, fluffy Samoyed. Quite a big dog. I keep saying it's too much dog for you. The dog weighs three times the amount of you. Well, yeah, because that's like, so Dad was outside playing with the dog, you know, and, you know, sort of playing with the toy,

and then Dad went inside, and then the dog didn't probably realise that the game had finished. And then Dad, for some reason, decided he was going to jog down the end of the hallway, despite having a bad... Like a Joe Biden, a Joe Biden-style entry. Yeah, and I was like, why is he jogging here?

But the dog was like, oh, the game's still on. Here we go. So the dog ran after dad, and then dad obviously stopped hearing the dog come, and the dog stopped as well and just slid on the, because we've got wooden floors. So he slid on the wooden floors, the dog's too many limbs, all going everywhere, and just took out dad's legs from underneath. Oh, did he go like, shoop go Like shoop Back down on the ground

I was like Uh oh Uh oh First Your first instinct Is to laugh Yeah Second instinct

Was like Damn it Why couldn't I Tap three times At the back of the phone And film that Why do you Have to film that

You've got to set that up And then you know Your fourth or fifth instinct Is sympathy Yeah Oh yeah There's a few other emotions That go before sympathy

Fortunately everyone was alright But it was like Jeez this is high drama You're like We're going to have to go To the A&E What's going to happen here How go before sympathy Fortunately everyone was alright But it was like, jeez, this is high drama You're like, we're going to have to go to the A&E What's going to happen here? How was Kevin Boyce? He was alright He took a moment

You know when you sort of sit there And sort of reflect on what sort of happened Why is he jogging down the hallway? Who jogs down a hallway? I'm like, here I go, I'm off I go I don't know either Sprightly young thing he is. So yeah,

a little bit of drama last night in the household. Not quite as big as your COVID app drama, but hey. Thing is, you can't tell dogs when a game's over.

Can you? They just do not get it. Yeah. When we were filming Dog Almighty, the dog that won, Cruz, as soon as you put that rope

and ball in his mouth, tug of war, oh, it was just, it was relentless. He would follow you to your changing room. He'd be knocking on the door. Leave me alone! I'm hoovering drugs in here or whatever we do.

Whatever us TV folk do in our dressing rooms. Broadcasting live. And mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. A lot of people were getting COVID tests again. I know, sir. But nine hours someone waited.

In Whangarei. Yeah, up north, someone waited for nine hours in a car. So if you are going along to get tested, they're saying, you know, bring some snacks, bring some water. Make it an event. Bring the whole family along. Plenty of parking. Fun for the whole family.

Yeah, sitting in the car. So you'd have a sausage sizzle or something there, couldn't you? Oh, you probably could along the side. Yeah, make it an event. Make it an event. Don't share it with people. Maybe a sausage sizzle is the absolute wrong cuisine to have on offer as people are getting tested for COVID.

But let's do this. The A to Z of New Zealand. This is something we do every day on the show. We call a different town or city in New Zealand. We call one a day because we want to learn about every town and city in New Zealand and we want to be the show that's spoken to every town and city in New Zealand. Now we haven't yet hit the W, so we haven't called Whangarei just yet. But today we're heading to the South Island, Kirwi.

Population of 1,200. It's located west of Christchurch and in Kirwi. It's where conversations are two syllables and where they eat concrete pills for breakfast they have a slab of concrete for lunch and do you know what they have for dessert? Rocky Road, but it's the literal road

they are eating and we're going to go through I think to the local taxidermist right now in Kirwi Andrew speaking Andrew the local taxidermist right now in Kirwi. Andrew speaking. Andrew. Yeah. Big game taxidermy.

Yep. Morning to you. Kirwi, have we got hold of? Yep, we have. John Owen being here from the Hits radio station. Apologies for this unplanned phone call. No worries, mate. Nice to talk to you, though.

Yeah, yeah. Now, do you talk a big game at Big Game? Oh, we try. What game do you want to talk about? Yeah. We talk about stuffing shit, you know? Oh, you know, taxidermists must be quite a confronting job, I imagine, when you first start.

Yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah, well, I guess you've got to know what end of the animal's the right one. How did you get into it? Literally. Well, I was actually sick of panel beating, so I thought I'd find a new profession. We borrowed a taxidermied cat from a costume hire place, and we got into a bit of a scandal with Dave Dobbin, of all people. Sir Dave Dobbin now.

Sir Dave Dobbin. Yeah. And he wanted to keep the cat and we gave it to him not knowing we'd hired it and then we had to ask for the cat back. And he would,

for many months, he was like, I don't have the cat, I don't have the cat and we kept chasing him. We're like, you told us you'd taken the cat. We said you could.

And then eventually, after three months, he came clean. He's like, I lied, I've had the cat the whole time. Yeah, yeah,

no, we don't do pets or mother-in-laws. So whereabouts in New Zealand are you located? We're in Kui, just west of Christchurch. Oh yeah, John, I was saying before, your mum is from near there. She's from Darfield. Yep, only seven minutes up the road.

Yeah, they still talk about the Great Annie Pryor, do they? Is her name still bandied about? Oh, I think so, yeah. Yeah, for sure. I don't know her, but yeah. They're still saying. They're still saying the Great Annie Pryor once lived here. No, she was a journalist for the press newspaper.

She would commute from Darfield every day into the city. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. She always says Darfield every day into the city. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. She always says it was a wild time in journalism. You're smoking in the office, drinking. It was debauchery, she said. None of that nowadays in Kirwi. No, except for the taxidermist.

What's there to do? What other stores are in the town? There's not a lot of other stores. The pub burnt down, which was a bit of a bummer. You know, it's just a small rural community. It's getting bigger. A lot of people sort of commute into Christchurch to work

now. There's a few sort of new subdivisions coming up. Yeah, right. Okay, now I've got the five best things to do in your area. Yeah, right. Okay, I'll read them out. Wash pen fools. Are they worth a visit?

Yeah, they're pretty good, actually. Okay, all right. You sound surprised. You're like, actually, that's not a bad one. Actually, what would you give them out of five?

I'd probably give them a four out of five. Oh, okay, all right. The Middle Rock Farm Tour looks like hundreds of sheep and beautiful, idyllic surroundings. Yeah, that would be about right.

I haven't actually been there, but I've heard all about it. Yeah, give that a what? What's that out of five? I'd probably give that a four out of five, not being there. I haven't gone there, but yeah. Bit of a pattern developing here. And one that I think this will be right up your alley, the lovely, bubbly, scrumptious Soap Shop.

The Soap Shop. Well, I think the missus might have been there, but I haven't. And you're locking a good four out of five for that? Oh, definitely. Oh, good. And finally, this call. What are you giving that out of five? Well, we'll give you five out of five.

Oh, wonderful. Do we be there or miss out? Good on you, Andrew. Look after yourself. You're a champion. No worries, mate. Good on you, Andrew. Look after yourself. You're a champion. No worries, mate. Good on you. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Scrolling through your feed. Listen, I know you're just waking up. You're easing into the day and while you've been asleep, he's been busy plagiarising journalists' hard work and ready to read it out as his own.

He's been voiced with the news from overnight. The daily press conferences seem to be back with the latest case of COVID in the community. And Dr Ashley Bloomfield back on the TV every day. And we've missed him. Now, I haven't seen the recent press conferences. Are they in? Because sometimes they hold them in the bleak

Ministry of Health office. Or are they back in the sometimes they hold them in the bleak Ministry of Health office or are they back in the podium? They're at the Beehive. Oh, they're at the Beehive. The nice theatre with the nice wee podiums. They booked out the big suite. The big suite, yeah, because sometimes they're in the toilets of the Ministry of Health and stuff.

They've got a lady who fronts those ones. Then Ashley's rolled out for the proper setting. The proper setting, the big show. Well, Ashley Bloomfield said something, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield said something during a press conference the other day that caused, as I said before, not a huge spike in cases for corona,

but a huge spike in Google searches because no one knew what he was talking about. Have a listen. She was extremely assiduous in using the NZ COVID Tracer app. Assiduous? Big word. Never heard that word before.

I know, but it's one of those situations where you pretend you know what the word means because you think everyone else around you knows what the word means, but no one in the room understands what the word means. According to Google Trends, at four o'clock on Sunday, there was a huge spike in the amount of people all over New Zealand searching going, what does assiduous mean? Because most people would be like,

was she useless? Was she good? What did she do? Did she forget? Was she forgetful? What do you got? I don't know what it means, but let's take a stab

and then, because none of us have looked it up yet, I'm going to say it means attentive. Yeah, you think it'd have to be good, right? It'd have to be

she was responsible in using the app. Yeah. Have you looked it up now? Well, right? It'd have to be she was responsible in using the app. Yeah. Have you looked it up now? Well, I have, but I haven't. I've copied and pasted that part of the article. So have a look here. Oxford Dictionary says,

assiduous means showing great care and perseverance. So there you go. Oh, well, that was none of what we said. It was kind of responsible. You know, like it's along those lines. And in Central Wellington today, residents have been asked to only flush their toilets if essential. So after a pipe burst yesterday in the Wellington CBD,

a sewerage pipe burst causes big delays for traffic, not only yesterday, but also today. And residents in Central Wellington, if you go into the bathroom... What's deemed essential? Like when do we hit essential? Yeah. Yeah. What if you're getting audited?

The IID, you need to flush some papers, you know? Uh-uh-uh. Is that essential for the business to survive? Do you know over New Year's we were saying on holiday, my sister-in-law, she flushed... She just flushed one single wipe down the toilet and she's like, I know I shouldn't have done it because it's highly publicised, don't

flush wipes down the toilet. And it clogged. Uh oh. And there's nothing like the thrill of flushing a toilet and it's just rising above and it's sort of, it sat right on the perimeter of the toilet. Like it was it was like parts of it would dribble

over but it was just sitting at the top. And then the plumber came up, because we were trying to flick it. I went to Bunnings and got this wire that was shoving down the toilet that was meant to unclog things, plunged it, and nothing was happening.

That was the plunger, not just you getting in there. And the plumber, we had to get the plumber in, and he pulled out this, so it must have been happening over a number of years. He just pulled out this giant ball of wipes

and he's like, have you guys seen the news? Like, don't. Just don't flush these. They turn into a giant ball. And they obviously just don't go through the pipes. Yeah. They don't break down, I think. Because your neighbour was very generous with his time, wasn't he,

when he came over to you to fix an issue? That's right. We had a blockage as well. And put his hand up into the toilet. No glove. Put his hand in Ben's spout. Yeah. And pulled out. It was like a nappy had fallen off, you know, like a folded up.

It's not used, but it had clogged up the toilet as well and fallen in. This was in the haze of, like, when we first had Sienna. So we were, like, in a lack of sleep. And so he'd just roll his sleeve up and be like, mate, I'll get in there. That is neighbourly love. He was very assiduous with his attention to that toilet. I hope you would show the same respect back to him when he was

backed up. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning. Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. These are actual news stories from around the world but we're beeped out of word. We have to guess what they are. Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is the F***ing News.

Yeah, first thing they tell you, day one of journalism school, never beep the news. And we are going against the grain. We've taken world headlines. Producer Humphrey has taken world headlines and beeped out certain words and we have to try and figure out the story. Now, Producer Humphrey, if I can, just before we get into this. Yesterday we had someone in the studio

and they didn't know Ben's name and they just called him Boat Shoes. Boat Shoes. Producer Humphrey. Because he's wearing boat shoes. Yeah, they were like, I'll get boat shoes to do it. And we're like,

oh no, it's Producer Humphrey. I like the boat shoes. They're great shoes. They're great shoes. It's topical, the yachting's on. Yeah, exactly.

No. I'm getting ready. Yeah, and you stay with those boat shoes. Stay on the water? Beautiful. Yeah. I like it.

I know, but Bear's out in the office always, he's always having a go at your boat shoes, isn't he? Well, he can't talk to anyone about fashion.

So what have you got today with News and Beats boat shoes? All right, let's hear the first headline. Sleep expert shares s*** trick to put an end to your partner's snoring. I reckon the divorcing trick is the one way to put an end to your partner's snoring. You just divorce them. I was just going to say a light pillow smothering trick to put an end to your partner's snoring. I hope it's not that one, but we'll find out what the actual news

headline is. Here we go. Sleep expert shares tennis ball trick to put an end to your partner's snoring. So what they reckon is that you snore more when you're on your back, so what you do is you stitch in, into the back of your partner's pyjamas, a tennis ball into their back, so that way it's too uncomfortable

for them to lie on their back. Oh, when they roll over they're like, oh, I can't do that. But won't they go, why have you sewn a tennis ball into my pyjamas? Surely questions are raised. What are you doing? Can you please take the tennis ball out of my pyjamas? I guess you need to

probably be honest with them and say, this is what I've done. Have you sewn a tennis ball inside my sleepwear? Yeah, I can. You monster. I wonder if it actually works. Hey, look, it's better than daggers. It's better than daggers.

That's right. And better than the pillow smothering technique. Yeah. Okay, good. Are you a snorer? Yeah, lately I have been. The thing is, you don't know you are. No.

But lately my wife has been like, geez, you know, you're really... Yeah, so maybe I could try the tennis ball trick. Get that in, yeah. Sometimes you wake yourself up and there's a moment of guilt of like, gee, if I'm waking myself up, yeah, so maybe I could try the tennis ball trick. Get that in, yeah. Sometimes you wake yourself up and there's just a moment of guilt of like, jeez, if I'm waking myself up snoring, how bad is this?

All right, the next actual news headline with the word beeped out. Man spends $400 to find out dog was imitating owner. I'm going to say his property developing dog. Imitating his owner. He's like, oh, I see what job you're doing. I'll get into that profession. Oh, I'm going to go with Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg was imitating a property owner. He's like, oh, I see what job you're doing. I'll get into that profession.

I'm going to go with Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg was imitating a property owner. Was that what it was, Alan? No, you're both incorrect with that one. Man spends $400 to find out limping dog was imitating owner. So this guy took his dog to the vet because the dog had a bad limp. But the owner had a broken ankle and was on crutches. So there was nothing wrong with the dog. It was just, but the owner had a broken ankle and was on crutches, so there was nothing wrong with the dog.

It was just imitating the owner's limp. Dogs are so loyal, aren't they? They're like, if you're doing that, mate, I'll go as well. There was a story in the news I was reading yesterday about a dog, someone had been in hospital, and the dog waited outside the hospital for days and days. Everyone was feeding it outside the hospital, but it wouldn't leave because its owner

was inside nothing more loyal than a dog is there and Ben Boyce that's what I say we'll have a chat after the show

I've got a few things anyway we'll talk about that not for now not during show time could be my last

show but anyway next headline four strangers all with the same **** form a band all strangers all with the same

instrument form a band I'm going to say all with the same... Form a band. All strangers, all with the same... Instrument. Form a band. I'm going to say all with the same passion for a certain genre of music. That could work. Form a band. Four strangers, all with the same name. Form a band. Wow.

The Paul O'Sullivan Band. There's not a good reason to start a band. Surely musical ability is the... Yeah, do any of them have musical ability? They're all in lockdown over COVID. They've all got a passion for music. Oh, great. And they're all named Paul O'Sullivan. Oh, right. Because you

turn up to see the O'Sullivans, you're like, none of you guys can play music. But our names all the same. How amazing is that? I've actually got a clip of them. Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road. I'm gonna ride till I can. Any defamatory comments I made towards the Paul O'Sullivans, I take back.

All recorded over Zoom. Wow. They've never met face to face? Never. They've been on news channels all over the world. And now the hits breakfast. And now the news and beeps. Wow, that's impressive.

Really interesting. And that is today's actual news stories from around the world. We didn't get any right today, but they're really interesting stories. And it saves you going to the odd stuff section of the internet as well. So well done. Thanks, Boat Shoes. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah.

Yeah, nah. The home of yeah, nah. She'll be right in at the end of the day. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hits. Spy. The what's up. Spy.co.nz.

Ah, yes, Producer Juliet, she's at Outward Bound So here is the Inward Bound Benjamin Boyce with some celebrity gossip Straight from his sweet, sweet lips Delivered at pace to your waxy ears There we go, this is what's in the entertainment news this morning Now singer Adele, she's saying hello from the other side I'm being married

There's the line I came off Hold on, I couldn't hear it, the music was too loud What was the line? Hello from the other side of being married. There's the line I came off. Hold on, I couldn't hear it. The music was too loud. What was the line? Hello from the other side of being married. Almost two years after the singer announced her split from husband Simon Konecki, Adele has reported to have reached an agreement on the terms of her divorce with Simon, meaning she'll go back to her maiden name, which I don't know what it is, because everyone just calls her Adele.

Yeah, she just goes off one name, doesn't she? Be a nightmare at customs. Surely you've got a last name. No, I'm a one name person. Do you know that the details of the divorce settlement have been kept secret

because I think she's got a lot of $190 million to her name. And they also have a seven year old son. Yeah. Who knew they had a seven? Angelo, yes.

Who knew they had a seven? They've been keeping him secret as well. What I found interesting as well reading in this article, they used meditation to assist them in reaching an agreement in regards to the assets and properties. So I don't exactly know how...

Now, hold on. Mediation. Mediation. That's nowhere near it. Now, everyone, breathe deeply. You are in the moment Now breathe in And out He will take 90 million in

And out He will not budge What I find not interesting at all Is that they use mediation It's nowhere near But what would be interesting is if they used meditation. That would be

a far calmer process. It's certainly a divorce, wouldn't it? No. I was like, that's unusual. I'll put that in there and now I should have

pre-read that properly. And they finished the meditation divorce with a downward dog and everyone walked out fully. Hey, just try it. Maybe I'm onto something.

And singer Halsey, you know, Halsey, she was in Closer. She's had many singles herself. Like this one. She bought a haunted mansion from One Direction star Liam Payne. Now, the mansion is in Malibu. She didn't have to use meditation to buy the mansion.

They made the exchange via the mean of meditation. So Liam obviously went in one direction. That was the hell out of that house. Yeah. So he bought that for $10 million, and it was on the market. This is US dollars, obviously. It was on the market for $14 million,

and he's brought it back to $10 million. So he really didn't make any money on it, but he reckons it was haunted. His previous partner, Cheryl Cole, Cheryl Cole, she thought she wouldn't sleep upstairs. She was like, Cheryl, Cheryl Cole. Cheryl. Cheryl Cole. She thought she wouldn't sleep upstairs. She was like, lights would go on and off in the middle of the night. Taps would turn on and off.

And so they'd sleep downstairs in the cinema room. Lovely in the cinema room. I hate it when you have to sleep in the cinema room. So frustrating. What I found really, really interesting, and this is not to do with meditation or mediation, but was the home had five bedrooms and 7.5 bathrooms. What was the half missing?

I don't know. You have a.5 of a bathroom. You get a toilet seat but no bowl. Okay. So there you go, Horsies, and a nice new Malibu pad. Remember she came to New Zealand once and she had pink hair at the time, and we're like, oh, we want pink hair like you, so then we went and got some hairspray with her.

And she let us do her hair as well before she was going to a, we want pink hair like you. So then we went and got some hairspray with her. And she let us do her hair as well before she was going to a concert in New Zealand performing. We're like, oh no, it was meant to be us doing our hair. But she's like, no, just do it. And we did a shocking job. She looked like Mayor Rudy Giuliani, you know, when he was sweating after that being grilled when he was trying to defend Trump. It was all dribbling down

the side of her forehead and stuff. And then she went on stage with it. Lovely lady. She was awesome. And that is some nearly correct entertainment news this morning. Now, if you don't mind, we're going to take a break for some meditation, and we'll be back after this.

To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Big news overnight, too. Adele has settled with her divorce with her ex-husband now.

The divorce is official? Yes. We talked about this earlier and everything, all the details were correct, right? All the details were correct. The details of the divorce have been kept secret and also her son, I didn't know she had a son, seven-year-old son.

And Ben, you did a really good job of reporting the story, I thought. I didn't like, yeah, I got all the details. I just read it for the first time out loud on the radio, trying to do what producer Juliet normally does I think she's back tomorrow, Spy Entertainment News. Yeah, so this is, you know, this

is what you won't get on Breakfast TV with the John Campbells or on the AM shows with the Duncan Garners and this is what you'd only get here on the Hits with John and Ben. What I found interesting as well, reading in this article,

they used meditation to assist them in reaching an agreement in regards to the assets and properties. So I don't exactly know how... Now, hold on. Oh, no. It's mediation. It's mediation. That's no idea.

It was a very mindful separation. Breathe in. You're an arsehole. You're going to get the dog on the couch. So it was mediation, not meditation. There we go. Hey, we all learn stuff, don't we? Why don't we end the show on a good note, eh?

0800 the hits. You can give us a bell. Why is it going to be a good day? We do this every day. You tell us. Why is it going to be a good day? We do this every day. You tell us. Why is it going to be a good day for you? Tuesday, get in touch. We'll give you a hell pizza voucher.

Lucy, why is it going to be a good one for you? Because I signed up to Skinny and I love Skinny. Okay. All right, we'll catch you tomorrow. And hug out. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. And hug out.