Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - January 28 - The World's Fastest Talker, News In Beeps, Do Girls Like Guys Shopping With Them?

Episode Date: January 28, 2021

Kia ora! Today we chatted with the world's fastest talker (he's even in the Guinness World Record book), John Moschitta. And my word, him saying the Peter Piper tongue twister is NEXT LEVEL! Ben also shared that his wife has a new song that whips their kids into shape when it comes to cleaning, and it's rather catchy. Finally, do women like it when they take their partners shopping? We delved into this too! Enjoy the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Here we are back again, Ben Boyce. Gee, it was a busy, busy morning after the show today.

It's been a busy morning. Just relentless. We almost left without doing the podcast intro. We did, we walked, we literally put our laptops in our bags, our headphones were unplugged. So relentless people. We almost left without doing the podcast intro. We did. We walked. We literally put our laptops in our bags. Our headphones were unplugged. So we're done. We're like, the podcast intro. We cannot leave the people without a podcast intro. Someone's like, oh, we could just start the podcast.

We're like, no. People won't know it started. Yeah, this is the commitment we have to the podcast. You wouldn't believe it. Ben right now would be driving down the road, wouldn't you, with your arm out of your car. But then I imagine one of us would have called the other one and going, oh, we didn't do the podcast intro. I would have turned around.

If I was going one way on the motorway, I'd stop in the middle of that motorway and turn and reverse back. Would we have? Yeah, okay. Just to do this podcast intro. But, you know, it's lovely to be here doing the podcast intro. Thursday. Feel good about Thursdays.

What I'm finding my system is once I'm over that Wednesday I'm feeling good about life you're feeling good about yeah getting over that so they do call it the hump day don't they Wednesday right yeah

waking up earlier though and sort of finishing you know around about 12.31 you you don't realise how hard it is not to drink on a sunny afternoon

that's what I'm battling with at the moment I'm like no beers between Monday and Thursday those are my notes those are my notes that's what I'm trying to implement the moment I'm like no beers between Monday and Thursday those are my notes those are my notes that's what I'm trying to implement but every day this week

I've failed how about you do you struggle with alcohol issues well I know I get quite busy in the afternoon it's probably when it gets

to early evening when you're having dinner time and the summer time too when you get friends come round like last night you had friends the friends came over

for dinner so you're like yeah yeah I know it's hard not to drink this is this job's getting in the way of our no the job's actually probably controlling it it is because you're like i've got to get up early so i won't go i won't go wild but yeah lovely weather at the moment and very hot at night gee whiz i know we spoke about this on the podcast a couple of days ago uh what are you doing to keep cool uh well yeah i'm now and again, my feet get really hot. Have you discovered that lately?

Like, the feet get more hot than everyone else. Sometimes I, like, the other night, I had to run my feet under the shower. It was just to cool them down a little bit. Stop bringing about your hot feet. My feet look hot. If you check out my OnlyFans account, you can see more photos of my hot feet.

See some grotty, hairy man feet. Hotfeet.com. We had a fun show today. We caught up with a guy who was a world record holder for the fastest talker in the world. He was an interesting chat. He used 11 words per second, this guy talks. Pretty incredible.

As well as our new game, 5 words, 5K. Five grand could be all yours. So make sure you go check that out. Two dads just trying to fill some air time. Some might say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some air time for us. That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits.

Now, Jon Machetta, he's also known as Motormouth, and Motormouth, he's the fast-talking guy. You might remember him from the 80s in New Zealand with the Micro Machines commercials. He's a voiceover artist. He's been in movies like Transformers, TV shows like Family Guy. He's acted in Saved by the Bell. He's been recognised by the Guinness World Records at one stage

as the world's fastest talker. And he joins us on over Zoom right now all the way from America. John, thank you so much for hanging out with us. How are you doing? I'm just doing dandy and a half. I can't believe I'm talking to the other side of the world. It's really great to talk to the other side of the world. Sometimes you don't get to talk to the other side of the world. It would be great to talk to the other side of the world. Sometimes you don't get to talk to the other side of the world,

but today I get to talk to the other side of the world, so that's pretty great. Now, this is going to be fantastic. Our boss is going to be happy. It's going to be the first time we've actually done an interview under a minute. Yeah. Nice talking to you.

Let's wrap it up. That is an incredible talent. When did you realise at what age you could talk at such speeds? Well, when I was 12 years old growing up on Long Island, there was a cerebral palsy care. I had to relax away from my house and they announced they would donate $2,000 to cerebral palsy care for anyone that broke a Guinness record. So first I wanted to ride the roller coaster to Coney Island.

So I called Coney Island and they said, hey, kid, take a hike. You're 12 years old. We're not going to let you start. Just strap yourself into the cyclone for two weeks straight. So I went home and I started flipping through the book and decided I wasn't going to eat a car, so I had a lead pipe. So the next best thing was to lock myself in a room and teach myself how to do the fast talking.

I also had five sisters, so to get a word in edgewise was a little bit of silver. So I think I got 80% of that. So you were 12 years old. You wanted to get in the Guinness Book of Records, and this was the way that you thought you could get in by teaching yourself how to talk fast. Yeah, they wouldn't let me ride the roller coaster

at Coney Island because the record was two weeks straight, and I was only 12 so they wouldn't let me do that. That feels like a recipe for a long-term brain damage doesn't it? A roller coaster for two weeks? Yep two weeks. Wow so you took the sensible option for a world record and did you have to practice lots and lots and lots to get as quick as you are? Well you know when you're 12 years old you're so obnoxious you set your mind to something you do it 24 hours a day so at the time the record was set with the to be or not to be soliloquy. So I just did it over and over and over again.

I used to torture my sisters. I'd make them come in the room and I'd do it. And I'd say, what did I just say? See if they could hear what I said. And of course they couldn't because it was Shakespeare. I had no idea what I was talking about. So impressive. So you know, if you slipped up on a word there, we can't tell.

But you're obviously your brain, you can tell? Well, you know what happens when I work and I'll screw up a word and I hear it but nobody else does. So I keep going because they don't stop me. But my brain says, you can't get away with that. You didn't say that word right. So about two sentences later, I totally fry and my head explodes. What did you stop for?

And I said, well, back four sentences. I said, you know, blah, blah, blah. What is the, like, mentally, do you have to kind of almost switch your brain into autopilot? Because I imagine the connection between mouth and brain, it wouldn't be able to keep up. It kind of does go into autopilot because, well, first of all, I have, you know, I'm a child of the 60s and 70s,

so I have very few brain cells left. And a lot of children. Yes. That's an amazing skill. And you got discovered at a party. Was that right? You were at a party and someone went, hey, this guy is the world's fastest talker.

And that's how it led to you being on TV and many movies? Well, I had been doing it for a while, but I was at a party when I first moved to LA. He called me over and I did one of my little party routines. And a guy walked up to me. He says, that's incredible. I'm the producer of That's Incredible. I want to put you on the show.

And I thought, well, you know, I'm an actor and I don't think it's going to help my career if I go on a show where I follow a man who swallows a 30 foot python. So I said, no, I wasn i wasn't interested well they kept calling that uh that's incredible aired on thursday and by the following monday i was booked on the johnny carson show the merv griffin show the tony tenille show i started negotiating for the federal express commercial and i started negotiating a talent contract with abc and like two down every time i picked up the phone, it's like, this is the Tonight Show. This is the video.

It's like amazing. That's incredible. And I love the guy, the producer of That's Incredible. I can imagine him just going around parties going, that's incredible. I'm the producer of That's Incredible. Would you do us the honor of doing the Peter Piper one, and we will then slow it down with our time compression

expansion machine. Okay. Yeah, I don't even know if we've got one of those machines. I don't know if we have either. It made us look good in front of you in America. Yes, it's a beautiful thing. You know, you're way ahead of the game down there. Exactly.

The amount of time we have expanded and compressed expansion. Oh, my God. Okay, take it away. Peter Piper picked a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, and a pickle puff picked a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs,

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a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs,

a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs,

a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, a pickle puffs, There we go. It's 129, baby. Well, you know, I need to tell you, that's incredible. I can't put a sixth-round time expansion compression machine. Hey, listen, mate, thank you so much for hanging out.

It was wonderful meeting you, and congratulations on teaching yourself such an amazing thing and giving yourself such longevity in your career. It is what it is. So you have a great time. It was great talking to you guys, and take care. Experts in semi-accurate, half-remembered information. Vaguely known information, but maybe not correct.

Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Let's look at some news and beeps. I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees, and this is the F***ing News. Now, this is where producer Juliette hunts out obscure news headlines from around the world and beeps out certain words, and we're trying to figure out the story. But you won't see the proper news beeping out words from headlines, would you?

And that's because they're the proper news. That's right. This is what we have to do on our show. It's quite fun trying to work out what the actual news headlines are. Let's hear the first one. Texas Zoo offers to name cockroaches and rats after f***. I Zoo offers to name cockroaches and rats after...

I'm going to say after... Jono and or Ben. Yeah, I was thinking similar. Radio announcers. They call radio the cockroach of... Of media. Of media, you know. It just sort of hangs around.

It should be gone, you know. Why is it still here? It shouldn't be, technically. You know, all the odds are stacked against it, but here we are. Yeah, so I reckon... Yeah, I reckon this has something to do with radio announcers. Oh, not quite. Texas Zoo offers to name cockroaches and

rats after visitors' ex-partners. Oh, shit. And then the theory is that they feed those cockroaches and rats to animals like snakes. So if your ex was a bit of a snake, then you can feed them to a snake, figuratively. Quite a good idea, though, then you can feed them to a snake, figuratively. Quite a good idea though, eh?

Yeah, quite a violent end to the relationship. But it'd be quite therapeutic, I think, for some. Do you get along with your ex-partners? Yeah. Do you have an ex? Yeah, some. And then, but others you don't keep in touch with, you know? Yeah.

So kind of like, yeah. I haven't seen them. I'm sure if you did, you'd have a fine conversation, you know? What about you, Juju? Yeah, I mean, I don't really see them, but I feel like, like you say, so kind of like, yeah. I'm sure if you did, you'd have a fine conversation, you know. What about you, Juju? Yeah, I mean, I don't really see them, but I feel like, like you say, Ben, you kind of, it's all civil, so it's fine. Life's too short to like to hold grudges. Yeah, exactly.

Life's too short, so you can go and name them after cockroaches and or rats. Maybe if you are holding your grudges is the way to do it, right? Name them after a cockroach. Exactly. And the next one. Mali tourists are being forced to do **** for not wearing face masks. I'm going to say being forced to catch COVID-19 after not wearing face

masks. I'm saying the tourists are forced to carry weed and boogie board bags in Bali. Mali tourists are being forced to do push-ups for not wearing face masks. So if they're caught without one, they have to either do, I think, 50 push-ups or it's a $7 fine.

So if you'd rather pay the money, you can pay the money or do 50 push-ups. I don't think I could do 50 push-ups. That's not a lot. I struggle to do 10 push-ups. I know. It's kind of brutal. So you probably, it's more of a brutal punishment than you probably would think. Unusual punishment though, eh?

For COVID. Yeah. I saw a police officer do that to a teenager in Whangamata over New Year's and he wasn't wearing a helmet on his electric scooter and he pulled him over

and it was busy too and he made him go down and do like 20 push-ups and everyone was standing around. It was probably, he was like, probably would have been

better off to arrest me and charge me. Less embarrassing. Trying to, yeah, he's like, I can't do 20. And final news headline,

actual news headline where the word beeped out. School boy doing Zoom lessons is labelled a genius after... After figuring out how to turn the sound on first try.

You never nail it first go. No one can do that. No. Anytime we do a Zoom interview, we're like, oh, hang on, we've just got to connect through. You see the picture and they see our picture.

Both parties have to, yeah. It's so awkward. I'm going to go with that as well because that is the, you know, it's very hard to do. And if you can do that first up, you're a genius. Schoolboy doing Zoom lessons is labelled a genius after tricking teacher for weeks. And this trick is literally genius. So he changed his name on Zoom to Reconnecting and just had a black screen so that the teacher wouldn't ask him any questions

and wouldn't pinpoint him in the middle of the class. Isn't that so good? So clever. I remember during lockdown and you'd watch the kids doing their lessons over Zoom and things like that. And you could just mute. I just watched Oscar just like if the teacher was talking,

it's like, just mute and go and do some other stuff just watched Oscar, just like if the teacher was talking, it's like, just mute. Go and do some other stuff. They have so much power. What an age. I know. You can just mute your teacher. Yeah.

And check out. And another trick that I saw, some students would rename themselves as other kids in the class. And then they would write rude comments in the chat, in the little chat room. So that the teacher would be like,

oh mate, Ben, why are you writing rude comments? But it's actually Jono who's changed his name to Ben. So good. That was really good. That's the news and beeps, actual news headlines from around the world. From stealing Mike Hosking's car to stealing the hearts of New Zealand.

Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Actual hearts being not bestowed. If I can just pull you up on something you said while Rachel was reading the news there, Ben. You mentioned yesterday you went shopping with Amanda, your wife, for three to four hours yesterday. Climbing shopping.

Yeah, we were probably wandering around, didn't we? That's a hell of a stint. I'm 45 minutes max at the shopping centre. Oh, really? You get so, you're very impatient.

I just find the process of shopping agonising. Put on pants. Take off your pants. Take off find the process of shopping agonising. Put on pants. Take off your pants. Take off your shoes. The pants don't fit. Take off those pants. Put your pants back on.

Put on the shoes again. Get new pants. Take off, you know. But you need to do it. You need to do it. Otherwise you get like, you take it home and you haven't tried it on.

I do that now. I just go, oh, that'll do. And that has really set me poorly on many occasions. I've got pants right now that are about five sizes too big for me that I purchased on Sunday. And now you've got to go and take them back, take back the pants.

Does Amanda even like it when you go shopping with her? What use are you? It's quite a fun activity that we can do together, but she probably would prefer that she was going with her girlfriends or something, people with a bit more fashionable advice than me. But it's a nice thing we can do together. I truly believe that I have no place in offering any fashion advice to Jennifer in a shop. I mean, what good am I? I can't tell you what sort of chinos to purchase.

No. Do girls even wear chinos? I don't know. Yeah. So I went out with that. So I want to check this out there. Do you like it if your boyfriend or husband or partner or whatever goes shopping with you? Do you take your boyfriend shopping, Ju?

No, I wouldn't. Have you got a boyfriend, Ju? No, I don't. No, you don't have a boyfriend. I wouldn't, but it's because I like shopping by myself, and then I just go to the shops that I want to go to, you know? Yeah. And then I feel bad making him come along, because boys hate shopping, don't they?

Oh, 800th of Hits. Well, not Ben. He's in there for three, four hours. No, I'm not doing it, my chubby. You're making a little bit of an event. You're making a little treat of it, you know? True. Yeah.

It's a speed exercise for me. And every other shopper's just getting them away. You've got to sidestep. Yeah. In and out. You're one of those guys beeping in the car park and stuff. Oh, this person. You're like, why did this person even come here?

Why are they doing it to themselves? Oh, 800, this. Help us out. Girls, do you like your partner coming shopping with you, or is it just a hassle? Kay, welcome from the Wairarapa. Do you want your guy coming shopping with you, or is it just a hassle?

How are you, Kay? Is it me? Sorry, I didn't hear the name. That's all right. Love to have you on, Kay. Yeah, I'm good. Do you take your man shopping with you? No.

Well, he's an ex now. But he only went shopping with me once because it was 45 minutes while I tried on bras at the warehouse and we left and I didn't even buy one. That's a hell of a lot of time to try on. What was one? 45 minutes?

How many bras did you try on in three quarters of an hour? Over 20. And was he like, I am out. I cannot go through this again. And then came your ex. He had lots of patience.

Oh, that's great. He never took me shopping again. And did you ever get that bra at some point in life? I can't help shopping for mine now. Look, good on you, Kay. You and your bra go and have a lovely day.

All right, thank you for listening. Cambridge, we'll you, Kay. You and your bra go and have a lovely day. All right, thank you for listening. Cambridge, we'll head to Melissa. Do you want your boyfriend, husband, fiance, whatever, going shopping with you? Oh, I can't stand it. Honestly, I'm like a get in, get out kind of gal, but he has to walk around. He dawdles, he slow walks.

He has to pick everything up and show it to me. He's like actually taking a child. Oh, right, he's the slow pace. Julia, you're a get in, get out sort of gal as well. Yeah, I try to be everything up and show it to me. He's like actually taking a child. Oh right, he's the slow pace. Julia, you're a get in, get out sort of gal as well. Yeah, I try to be. But then I end up taking like two hours anyway because I just go to every single shop. But I go through them fast.

I've seen you out at night and you run at high pace. High pace at night. Talking fast, all sorts going on. I'm an efficient human being. We'll end on Rochelle. Do you take your man shopping with you or does it become a burden, Rochelle?

Hi. Well, we actually have a joint bank account and we have this little rule that if we do things together, it comes out of there. So I won't exactly say no if he wants to come. Oh, that's quite a nice idea. So yeah, so that's a good excuse to do something together like this. Yeah, exactly.

And then we both pay for it, so I'm not paying for all of it. Oh, okay, so it's a light manipulation. Yeah, like a little bit, but not quite, and like a nice way. A nice manipulation. Yeah, yeah. You come and you can half pay for everything I want to buy. That's very smart of you. Absolutely.

Okay, look. And I get to look nice. And on the text, about 56% of people saying, yeah, they don't mind their partner coming shopping with them. Many offering great advice. So maybe I should just calm down

and be a bit patient. Take a breath. Take a breath. Take your hand off the horn that you're about to honk because someone's taking your bark. Sometimes I don't even go into the mall. She just goes,

and I'm just sitting in the car park with my hand on the horn. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hits. The Hits. Five words for 5K on the Hits. You're only five words away

from a massive payday. The radio shows, they say words, but we're the only ones putting money where our mouth has been. Literally, aren't we? A simple game of word association. As we keep saying,

we give you guys five words. You say the first thing that pops into your head after we say those words. If those five words match up with either Jono or my five words, you're $5,000 richer. And Hayley, a couple of days ago,

won five grand. So it's possible. It's doable. Olivia, welcome to the show. Morena, to you. Thanks. Good to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast. Nervous?

Anxious? I'm very nervous. I'm really poor. Oh, don't put, don't, don't, don't come in. Don't lead with I'm very poor. That puts extra pressure on us. Oh, no. Why don't you say you're wealthy and rich?

I don't really need the money. Don't need the money. I'm just phoning up to fill in some time. Yeah. What do you need the money for? I'm really wealthy. What do you need the money for? A new car.

My car broke. Oh, no. She can't get from point A to point B. Oh, there's the pressure already. Well, it's still working, but it's like on its wit's end. And do you know, Ben, she told me she doesn't have wheels. She's been driving around with no wheels in the car. I don't know if you know motor vehicles.

That makes driving very difficult. She's like the Flintstones using her feet. Okay. So I'm guessing it's me again, is it? Who are you choosing? It's Jono. Oh, no. I'll give you a go. Okay. So I'm guessing it's me again, is it? Who are you choosing? Jono. I'll give you a go.

Jono. I love it. I haven't done it for about five or six days. He needs to play so hard. I've got faith in you. I've got faith in you too. I don't. Okay, well, Jono, you've got to make your way across.

Why did you say you were poor and you need a new car? Don't start with that emotional blackmail. Jono, I don't have to make up anything too. She's already given you the actual thing. All right. It's the soundproof booth. Jono's making his way across to the soundproof booth. And he's struggling a little bit at the moment.

I can't play the game until you actually get into the soundproof booth. Oh, jeez. He really, really. Okay, so you know how the game works. I'm going to give you five words. You say the first thing that pops into your head, and if they match up with Jono, you'll win $5,000. He's in there right now.

Okay. First word is close. T-shirt or shirt. Okay, you said a few things there. Just shirt, just shirt. You want to go with shirt? Yeah, T-shirt. No, T-shirt, yeah. Oh, T-shirt.

Okay, clothes, T-shirt. Okay. You can change these before Jono gets out of the soundproof booth, but at the moment we'll lock in clothes, T-shirt. Just shirt, actually. I'll go with shirt. Okay. Yeah, that's the final one. Yeah, that's the final one.

Okay, that's the final one, Olivia. All right, here we go. Cammon Mile. Pardon? Cammon Mile. You have a Cammon Mile? What's that? I feel like if I'm going to say it,

you're going to say what it is. Well, you might drink it. Like a Cammon Mile tea, perhaps? Maybe tea. Yeah, okay, all right, let's go tea. Okay, strum. Strum? Like guitar?

Okay, are we going to lock in that? No. These are hard words. I'm matching with the other ones. Okay, we'll just go strum. I don't think that's a bad option, though, but I don't know. Yeah, we'll go with guitar. I'm matching with the other ones. Okay, we'll just go... I don't think that's a bad option, though, but I don't know. Yeah, we'll go with guitar. We'll go with guitar.

This is the first thing that pops into your head. All right. Yeah. Okay, map. Google. Map going places like driving, travel. You've given us so many words. All three. Oh, you're going to lock in all driving. Travel. You've given us so many words. All three.

Oh, you're going to lock in all three. We'll go travel. I'm not feeling very confident with these answers. Some of them there are multiple options with, aren't they? That's quite tough. And last word is whale. Ocean. Ocean. Okay, so are you happy with your words quickly

before we get Jono out of the soundproof booth? No, but I don't know anything else, what else to put. So we'll just go with those. Okay. I'm not feeling confident though. You never know. You never know, Olivia. We're going to get Jono out of the soundproof booth.

We'll wave to him right now. Okay. He's really lost in there. Olivia, we're going to get Jono out of the soundproof booth. We'll wave to him right now. He's really lost in there. He's coming back out of the soundproof booth. We have Olivia's five words, Jono. Your chance to win, Olivia, $5,000. I know we've been constantly complaining about the lack of airflow in the soundproof booth, but now they've installed some air conditioning unit in there.

It's like you're in the middle of a hurricane. Very noisy in there. How did Olivia go? Olivia's not feeling too confident at the moment. That's what I like. Those are hard words. They've sucked me up with the words. Yeah, she's got complaints already about the words.

Stop your moaning. Olivia wants to get a car. She's very poor, she says. She wants to get a car. Also, she's very generous. She said she was going to give you some money towards hair plugs as well, too. What a lovely lady. Yeah, so she was going to spend it with you as well.

So there's more pressure on you right now, Jono. He is reveling at this moment. Okay, right now. Okay, five grand. Okay, if these words match up, if all five words match up with Olivia's. I know how the game works, mate. Olivia will win five thousand dollars. I know how the game works. I've been doing it since last Monday.

Okay, I'll just try't book some drama here. Okay, the first word is clothes. Line. Oh. I knew my words weren't going to be clear. I knew I was going to be clear. I'm a shock. Don't choose me.

No, clothesline was a good thought. Olivia had shirt. Let's go through the rest of them and see how. I just thought about it too much, I think. I've got two on my head. You had a lot of options for some of them. We had to narrow them down with Olivia. Okay. Cam and mile. T. Yes.

Strum. Guitar. Yes. Map. Book. Oh, we had travel. And finally, whale. Tail. No. Ocean. We got two out of five. Olivia, thanks so much for playing. Unfortunately, we can't help you out with that car.

Thank you. You're going to have to keep pushing your car along with your feet. You keep safe. Okay, thank you. Hold there. We'll sort you out something, okay? Okay, thank you. I always say that.

Nothing gets sorted out, but we'll sound like good people. I'm sure we can sort something out for Olivia. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Our boss, Todd, he's got a bugbear around the office that he's mentioned a couple of times this week because we haven't worked through the summer months with Todd as of yet.

No, true. We started a bit later, didn't we? Yeah, last year. Through the winter months. And he has got a real issue with people wearing jandals to work. He doesn't see it as an appropriate piece of footwear for the office.

He's like, if you're wearing that sort of stuff at work, what are you wearing at home? Like, what is it, you know? Literally, Todd can't handle the jandals. I can understand. I understand where he's coming from. I don't think I've ever worn jandals to work, but only because we work in the middle of the city, and I feel weird wearing jandals in the CBD for some reason.

Yeah, no, fair enough. It feels like, yeah, jandals outside the beach. That's what we want to know. Is it okay? Because over summer and, you know, when you're at the beach, it's a great piece of footwear. And it's all relative to your job. Like if you're a surf instructor

and you're turning up in formal dress shoes, then I'm going to look strangely. Or, you know Like if you're a surf instructor and you're turning up in formal dress shoes, then I'm going to look strangely. Or, you know, if you're my defence lawyer and you turn up to the High Court in jandals, I'm going to start to think less of your credentials as my defence lawyer. Yeah. Radio we've checked out. But we shouldn't now. I don't reckon

it used to be, but we shouldn't now because every day there's photos and videos. That's the thing now. I reckon radio's changed. So the radio used to be, but now we't now because every day there's photos and videos. That's the thing now. I reckon radio's changed. So the radio used to be, but now we're in a more grown up station. See them? They can wear it. Do you reckon they can wear jandals? Yeah, they probably can pair it. Julia, do you wear jandals to work?

Nah, I'm always in boots. I'm always classy, you know. Okay, I'll 800 this. Jandals. Appropriate footwear for work. J-Mo, you're on the air. Welcome. Hey, how's it going? How you going? Yeah, not too bad, mate. Ah, good jandals. appropriate footwear for work. J-Mo, you're on the air, welcome. Hey, how's it going? How you going? Yeah, not too bad, mate. Ah, good jandals, yes or no?

Office work. Ah, that's a big yes. I mean, but what you've got to think about, right, is the criteria that the jandals will meet. For example, I've got quite skinny feet. You've got skinny feet, yep. I've got jandals that are fitter than skinny feet, so they've got to be quite skinny themselves.

Also straps. Straps are a big one. You don't want to get in corners or something, so you need a skinny strap to go between your toes. You've had a lot of skinny base calls this week. Yes. Another big thing, depending on where you're working, you may be working around the trades,

so you need a colour. You need hivers. So now you need orange. Okay, okay. I feel like the skinny... Orange colour. Hang up on him. Skinny is trying

to sabotage... Our spots, our friends at Skinny, they're trying to sabotage the show with people saying skinny.

Listen, a wiser program would vet those calls. But we've let every one of them pass the goalie this week. I guess we don't

know what's coming up. Okay, well, there we go. There's one call that we won't take any vote for.

No void. Alice, welcome. You're on the air, Morena. Hey, guys. Are you a Jandal wearer? Absolutely not. Getull void. Alice, welcome. You're on the air, Morena. Hey, guys. Are you a Jandal wearer? Absolutely not. Get them away.

I don't want to see them ever. Honestly, they're probably one of my biggest pet peeves. Oh, yeah. That's a classic bit of football. What about at the beach? You're okay with that at the beach? Yeah. The beach, I can understand.

And also in a camping ground shower. That is the only place I'll accept. The only piece of skin you want to see from your colleagues is their neck, face and hands. Yeah, that's all. Everything else fully covered. Fully covered. There we go. That's Alice's thoughts. A lot of people on the text machine sharing

the same thoughts. There's a guy at work who wears jandals almost every day of the year and we all talk behind his back but no one's said anything to him. Oh, really? Narelle, welcome. How are you in Cutter Pinto? Hi.

Good to have you on. Are you a jandal wearer to the office? Not to the office. I'm a judging instructor when it comes to jandals at the office. I understood about 70% of that because of your phone line. I think you're saying you judge people, you're judgy. Yeah, hang on. Hang on. She should be on skinny. Oh, now you're saying you judge people, you're judgy. Yeah, hang on. Hang on.

She should be on skinny. I'm not skinny, I'm having problems. So you judge your colleagues when they wear jandals, Narelle? I do. What do you do for a job? I work in an office. Yeah. I work in a financial sector.

So it's been decided, pretty much 100% of the votes, no to the Jan. No to the Jan at work. Yeah, well, Tony will be happy, won't he? Shamed people out of their thongs. Now, tomorrow, is it appropriate for Ben to turn up in G-strings to work? G-string Thursdays is something he's trying to kick off, and we're all like, I don't know, me and Juliet are against it, but he's a big campaigner.

I'm really pushing hard for it. They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of that. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Now, I love this part of the show.

It's the part of the programme. It's also acting as the world's longest audition for Ben Boyce to embark on the next stage of his career as a respected journalist. Until then, though, here is the disrespected Ben Boyce. Now, two New Zealand restaurants so far are offering diners who use the COVID Tracer app who scan in a discount. That's kind of cool. So there's one in Auckland, one in Otago. One's offering 5%, one's offering 10%.

And if you scan in to the restaurant before your meal or while you're there, you get a discount. And you get COVID for free as well. Do you know the two new cases that popped out yesterday from Auckland? Really good advertising for the BBQ King.

What was the name of the restaurant? Sounded delicious. What was the name of that restaurant? The BBQ Barbecue King. It was the name of that restaurant? The Barbecue? Yeah. Barbecue King. It was so good they went to it like two or three times these people. It must be a delicious menu. It must be amazing. And actually speaking of COVID in Chile, 10 people

got COVID after attending a party for a cat. A birthday party for a cat. Someone decided to celebrate the cat's birthday, invited a whole lot of friends and unfortunately sadly some people got COVID from that. They're like babies though, animals, aren't they? They don't know that the soiree's for them.

You know, when you turn up to a one-year-old's birthday, it's like you're all standing around here dressed in pink or blue and handing presents to a baby that has no idea what's happening. They're not going to remember those presents either. And out of all the animals in the kingdom, the most unappreciative is the cat.

At least if it's around for a dog, the dog will be like, thanks guys, this is great. He'll be smiling away. But a cat will just sit there like Bernie Sanders at the inauguration, just wanting it to end. When's it over? End me now. And nearly a quarter of baby names in New Zealand that have been declined

by the Department of Internal Affairs feature the word royal. Now the top 20 rejected New Zealand baby names. These are the names that people have applied for to call their baby in New Zealand. Please name all 20, but do it really slowly. No, I'm not going to go for 20. It's too many for 20. Okay, he doesn't like a list,

so what do you narrow it down to? A lot of them have royal in them. People like royal, royal blue, royalty, spelt different, royal rain, royal blue. But other names included things like bishop, justice, King, Prince, Princess, Queen and Saint. Which I thought Saint was quite interesting because that's one of the Kardashian children's names, right? Yeah, I think it's Kim's, I don't know. So you couldn't have it in New Zealand.

Those aren't funny. Where are all the funny ones like Blue Powerade and Vending Machine, Holden and Tarana? I like those lists. When it's like the parents have just like literally looked at the first thing they've seen once the baby's been born. Recycling bin. Stapler.

Little baby stapler. And that is scrolling through your feed. A4 copy paper. Oh, God. Now we've got to start. It's just got to keep naming things. Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast.

Jono and Ben on the hits. Ah, geez, exciting time in my household. Poppy, my youngest, got her stationery yesterday. Oh, that was always a fun day in your childhood, wasn't it? Yeah. And I notice now there's no Duracelling, though. No! I don't understand why,

because it was probably a plasticky thing that you put over the books, but that was a big thing. What's going to kill the dolphins in the ocean now? No Duracell. No Duracell. It was always sad to know that there's going to be a generation of children

who won't know the immense frustration of Duracelling your books and then getting a crinkle in it and then having to iron it out with a ruler. It's almost like you just wanted to, the year was over. If you had that sort of bubble and the crinkle. I've got a crease.

No, no. I'm not going to pass social studies. No, it's not going to happen. Prima one, prima two. And then you get your stressed out parents who would have to duracell the books. You know, there's a couple of years where the kids can't do it.

And mum and dad are trying to do it. It's like committing an open heart surgery or something, isn't it? It's a very tense process. But the other thing that I noticed too is Poppy is like neatly writing on the cover and the first page, and that's that you start with all good intentions. It's like when you get a new phone, isn't it?

And you just carry it in a blanket to your phone, and you push it around in a pram. Then six months later, you're using it as a doorstop and a hammer. Eventually you start to get it. It's like with school books and stuff. You start so neat and tidy, but it just slowly fades over the months, doesn't it? The kids, though, you're right.

Things are changing, though. Google Docs seems to be a big thing for my kids. My kids are all on the Google Doc thing for school. That's so sad. They've got their own emails in the Google Docs. Didn't Indy do Santa's list? Yeah, she had a list for Santa. Santa's like, what do you want for Christmas?

And we're in the mall, and she's like, well, there's a Google Doc. I can share it. Share it on the Google Doc. And you sort of see Santa looking like, what? Oh, you need to sign up to Gmail, mate. Santa at Gmail.com or I can share you into this Google Doc. Share you on the Google Doc.

You can make suggestions, edit notes to my list if there's too much. I can't get that. Oh, that looks good. It's the future. Actually, speaking of books and things, this is a debate I've had over the summer with my wife. So she loves reading books, but now lately she's been listening to them,

the audible books. But is that reading a book? Because she's like, oh, I read three books this week. I'm like, well, did you? No, it's like saying- Do you listen to three books? Yeah, you listen to three books. You listen to three podcasts. Yeah. I mean,, well, did you? No, it's like saying, you listen to three books. Yeah, you listen to three books. You listen to three podcasts.

Yeah. I mean, it's still great that she's doing it, but you didn't read the, I still read the books. Well, it's like saying you're going for a bike ride on an electric bike.

You're cheating. The electricity's doing half the work. Or like say, I went for a bike ride, but I just watched the Tour de France. It's like, I went for a bike ride today, so I just watched the Tour de France.

No, it's still a biking thing. That was in the America's Cup. I just called the Fullers Ferry over to, yeah. It's like, I went for a bike ride today. So I just watched the Tour de France. No, it's still a biking thing. That was in the America's Cup. I just called the Fullers Ferry over to, yeah, there's easy ways, but I would much rather

have someone read a book to me. Wouldn't you? Oh yeah, I mean, it's the preferred option. It's a great option. I'm not saying it's not a good option.

Do the authors read their own books? No, I think, oh, someone else we know wrote a book. Oh,

Dom Harvey? Yes, Dom. Yeah, it was Dom, wasn't it? And he couldn't even. He he's like I'm a radio announcer I can voice my own

book and they're like nah mate your voice doesn't suit the story and it was his story it's my story that is savage

that is savage hey mind you the voice they did get was amazing yeah so I ran a marathon oh there we go wouldn't that be a pain in the arse job, having to read books for audio?

All day you're just reading books for people. They're actually reading a book, aren't they? Yeah, they're doing the heavy lifting. That sultry, smooth voice, that's the one you need to thank. Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Mmm. Shono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Spy.

Know what's up? Spy.co.nz. What's got two arms and can copy and paste the hell out of a celebrity story from the internet? It's Juliet with Spy. So the first photo of Kristen Stewart as Princess Diana has been released. So it's a new movie that's coming out called Spencer. And it's a movie that's focusing on one weekend of Princess Diana's life where she kind of realised over the Christmas break

that her marriage to Prince Charles wasn't going to work out. Oh, I thought it was going to be like just a normal weekend. Went to Kmart, swung by Bunnings, dropped the kids off at a party, picked them up again. Yeah, well, the... It's funny that they didn't focus on those sort of weekends. It's the same as that show 24. They always focused on a very eventful 24 hours

of Kiefer Sutherland's life. What about the bloody boring ones? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that doesn't make for good movies, does it? Had to sleep in, mowed the lawns. Yeah, watched a little bit of Dr. Phil and then it was about it. But yeah, so when it was announced

that she was going to be cast as Princess Diana, people were like... I think there were a bit of mixed reviews, kind of like, does she look like Diana? Does she not? I think people could see the potential.

But when you look at the photo... I'm creeping over on your computer right now. I can see the photo. She does, hey? She does. But then I'm kind of like, she still looks like Kristen Stewart.

I mean, I mean, she is... Well, she still looks Kristen Stewart. She's an actor, Juju. Give her... Cut her some slack. Like an actual facelift to look exactly like Princess Diana. I have high expectations for royal movies.

So if it's not Diana herself, I'm not happy. No, I'm just kidding. Loves the royals. Now, wouldn't it be unsettling for the likes of Will and Harry to go, oh, this lady looks eerily like our mother, to see that photo? Wouldn't that be an unusual thing to experience? I wonder if they had an input in who they wanted to potentially play Diana.

Oh, they were the casting directors? Well, no, I don't know. No. No. Yeah. Imagine that. I wonder if they had any input in these sorts of things. Well, who's making the movie?

I don't know. I imagine they wouldn't. Probably wouldn't be involved. This isn't William and Harry Presents. Kristen Stewart is dying. In that case, yes, they would, but you're right. William and Harry Productions. I wouldn't be surprised, though, because Harry's now got a podcast.

He could go into movie direction. And he had all of Netflix. Hasn't he got a big deal with Netflix? Yeah, a big deal with Netflix. Wouldn't put it past Meghan Markle. Meghan Markle, would you? She's out there. She's hustling. I know, Markle. Megan Markle, would you? She's out there. She's hustling.

I know, I know. And Jared Leto, so he played the Joker in Suicide Squad, and he's also the lead singer of 30 Seconds to Mars. He was on Jimmy Fallon and revealed that last year he went on a two-week silent retreat. Oh, like you. Kind of like what I just did, and came back to learn the world was in a complete lockdown.

When I went away, there were about 150 cases. And when I came out, there was a shutdown, a state of emergency, and the whole world had changed. But when we were in there, they didn't tell us. So we didn't have our phones. There was no talking, of course. No TV. No eye contact.

So imagine coming back to... You would think that information's relatively important. Even if you are at a silent retreat. If there's something to come... Hey, let it out. Shut up. It's a pandemic. Shut up.

You're not meant to talk. No, no, no. It's a pandemic. And then like mouthing it with your lips. Pandemic. What? Although nothing stops them from writing. Surely.

True. Just do it on a piece of paper. Oh, yeah. Slide that across the table. Hey, mate, there's some stuff going on in the room. You'd be like, what? Yeah. Oh, by the way, you're no longer the Joker, too.

It's gone to someone else. And you've been kicked out of 30 Seconds to Mars. He was a good Joker, Jared Leto. He was, actually. Yeah. A bit of a shame that movie didn't quite take off. Yeah, they're doing a second one. They're doing a... Ohoker, Jared Leto. He was actually. Bit of a shame that movie didn't quite take off. Yeah, they're doing a second one.

Oh, well then maybe it did take off. But he's not in it. No, he's not in it. Oh, really? So he did get kicked off. He's not in it either again. 80% new cast.

Is Margot Robbie still in it? I don't know. I don't think she's in it either. Oh, savage. Still according to the picture I saw, but yeah. Yeah.

Oh, well, the more you know Let's hope it's better than the last Well Juliet Given recent conversations Around the office There's going to be an 80% new cast On this show as well

You know about old Old man over there Can't tell them where we are We're being silent It's a sign Be quiet You're going to lose your job Ben What?

Yeah Bye Ben Two months And that spy Ben's leaving the No I'm kidding That spy for more You can check out the Hits.co.nz

Broadcasting live And mostly awake Jono and Ben New Zealand's breakfast On the hits Now getting kids to do stuff You know to do some jobs around the house It can be tough

Especially in the holidays Where you know there's distractions There's games they want to play There's screens that they want to probably watch More than actually doing jobs There's Charlie D'Amelio's They Need to Watch Dancing in 15 Seconds. It's a busy life.

It's a busy life. But Amanda, my wife, she's, for the last, I think, probably six months, a year, when she wants our daughters to tidy up, she sings a bit of a song. She's got a little song, a little routine that she does

and the kids sing along with her to get them to tidy up. It's like the tidy up song. Oh, so it's also like mind effing the kids into tidying up the house. Clever. And it's quite a catchy little song, but I feel like it's too catchy. I feel like that she has stolen the, you stole it from somewhere else. Like the.

With the melody. Yeah, like the National Party did to Eminem. Like I feel like we're getting there. I don't know what it is. Plagiarism case. It's quite catchy. Now, yesterday when she was, you know, we were trying to get the girls to tidy up their room,

the mess that they made with some arts and crafts. She sang the song. Have a listen. Who is responsible? I am responsible. Tell me who is responsible. I am responsible. Let's tidy it up.

Yes, sir. Let's tidy it up. Yes, ma'am. It's almost like an original song. It's so original. Oh, yeah. So it was me at the end going, oh, it's not original.

What a hater. The troll in the background. It's not original. Well, thanks, buddy. What are you doing to Tanya? Arresting us from the back seat? Hey, stack fake. Fake news.

Play something we all know. Yeah, you got your kids like a miniature military there. It's very good. The good thing about that song is it would not get irritating the more it's sung. I think you would love it more and more. Isn't it the Molenberg ad? Oh, no, it's not.

It's similar, though. It's that similar sort of vibe to it, isn't it? So it's something you can try because it is tough. Are you responsible? I love tidying up. I love tidying up. I love a cluster in my household. Ben is responsible.

I am. I tidy it up. To the point that too much tidyingying up. Like, I love tidying up. I love a cluster in my household. Ben is responsible. Tell you who I am. I tidy it up. To the point that too much tidying it up. Because Amanda, my wife, like, I'll just like, I'll put things in piles and then I'll put them in a cupboard. Out of sight, you know, out of sight. Because I don't like clutter. And she'll be like, we didn't pay this bill to the power company.

I'm like, oh, you're probably going to be in the shelf in a nice pile with a whole lot of other stuff. But isn't it funny you do end up just creating these piles that grow, grow and up until a point, you know, six months and you're like, oh, we've got to get rid of that pile.

Yeah. You either just chuck it out or put it somewhere. But for some reason it justifies staying on your table for half a year. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, it's one of those things that happens, right? Okay, tell me who is responsible. Who is responsible? I am responsible. Do you want me to play the audio again or are you just wanting to sing? I don't know Jono, what were you going with? I was just wanting to fade out.

I want to play a song. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now if you've got a space in your home that can do with a wee bit of a redecorate, we're running a competition right now with Resene.

It's called Colour My World, and you can register at the hitstockco.nz. You can get your selected room painted by a Resene professional along with new decor, but there is a bit of a twist going on. Oh, we don't just do things straight up and down here. It's not fun just painting a room half Spanish white, is it, Ben? No. That's why we welcome to the program Zoe. How are you?

I'm good, thank you. How are you? Oh, we're doing very well, Zoe. What part of the country are you in? Oh, we're in Gisborne. Gizzy, gizzy, gizzy. Yeah, I'm very hot. I thought you'd go on with oi, oi, oi.

Is that a thing? I don't know if that's a thing. It's an Aussie thing. Oh, it's Aussie, Aussie, Aussie. Now, you want to get some renovation done at your house? You want a room redecorated, repainted? Yes, definitely. Not long ago, I ripped off

all the wallpaper in the laundry. Oh, okay. With the foresight that you were going to paint it at some stage, or this was in a fit of rage at how much laundry had to be done? Both. So you want the laundry repainted, but you know that the twist is

that one of your children has to come up with the colour, the colour scheme. Now, are you prepared to go through with this if you win this competition? Yep, certainly. Yeah, well, kids are very sensible nowadays. You might choose an appropriate colour. Have we got Shay there too?

This is your child? Yep. Have we got Shay? He's nine. He's Yes. He's nine. He's yours? He's nine. Oh, nine. He's mine. No, he's nine. And also hers, yes.

I'm glad he's yours. And he's nine. Welcome, Shea. How are you? Hi. Hi. Turns out you're Zoe's. Yeah. Yeah, good. We've gotten to the bottom of that. Now, what colour are you thinking for the laundry? Green. Oh, green. Okay.

What sort of colour green are we talking? Toxic green. Toxic green. Oh. Okay. I like the way you think at the moment. Is it all green or would you like to add some more colours in there? Maybe some purple.

Oh, some purple. And purple as well. So what? Is this all just mixed together as one big, ugly, toxic, nuclear looking colour? Or you've got like a purple roof? Yeah, do it. I feel like you put no thought into this.

I think, what about the washer and dryer? Maybe we could paint those as well. What would you like to paint those? Red. Red? Okay. That would be a wonderful laundry. Green and purple paint mixed with red washing machines and dryers. I love it. You can paint the floor too, Shay. What colour should we paint the floor?

Golden. Oh, wow. Well, you are in the drawer. We could be painting your laundry, all those amazing colours. We're the paint professional from Resene. Go to the hitstockcode. They probably your laundry, all those amazing colours. We're the paint professional from Resene. Go to the hits.co.nz. They probably want to

put their name to it. And it's about now Zoe regrets entering the competition. Good luck, guys. Thank you so much for talking to us today. Thank you.

Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal van. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. A little bit of a chat this morning going around

about COVID back in the community again. Do you know what? Can I spout off what I heard yesterday? Right. This is fair. I have this on very good authority. That the government knew about the two cases before they went out and did the press conference.

Well, yeah. And then they lied to us, Ben. They lied. But no, but I did read that they would come back weak positive, the first test. And it wasn't until 11 o'clock last night that they confirmed it was positive positive. So maybe they just didn't want to say until they got the official, you know, otherwise they're going to go out and probably scare everyone if they go, oh, it's a weak positive test.

Interesting, like they didn't want to tell us on the afternoon of the election that there were more cases. We'll hold on to that till the next day, eh? Don't want to spoil the election night. Get your tinfoil hat on. Don't trust 5G as well. You sound like you're really... Be kind!

You sound like you're getting crazy and everyone's got theories about everything at the moment. I know, I know. And listen, at the end of the day, they're just trying to look after us, aren't they, the government?

And fear mongering is probably not the right thing to do in this situation. So you're right, they probably want to wait until everything's confirmed. It could have been, because I was saying

it could have been a historical case that they could have had it like a month ago and It could have been, because I was saying it could have been a historical case that they could have had it like a month ago and it could have been still in their system, not something that they got recently. Did I say fear mongering? Isn't it scare mongering? It is scare, yeah, but it's kind of fear mongering. It's the same thing. I know what you mean. As long as you know what I mean.

I was driving to work this morning and there was a person, a guy commuting on a unicycle. Unusual. What an inconvenient mode of transport. And this is what, at five o'clock in the morning? Five o'clock just down Hobson Street here. It's a busy street too.

It's four lanes. It's dark. And no one ever looks 100% confident on a unicycle. No. Like, you know, there's a 10 to 25% chance that you're coming off. And you're always teetering back and forth. Unless it was a clown commuting to work,

I don't see any reason why you would need to go on one wheel. You really have to be passionate about cycling, don't you? He's heard of the handlebar. You know, like I'm sure he's aware that there are bikes with handlebars and they're a lot more solid. We did the Santa Parade. We followed a family of four for the whole time. On unicycles.

On unicycles. The kids, too, because they were amazing. No one stumbled. No one fell off. That was just too little. But that's what you want to see. You want to see someone fall off the unicycle. The kids would have been under 10 as well.

The parents as well. The family just, you know, was like, wow, this is impressive. The core strength is, because, I mean, you're holding it all in with your stomach, I imagine, with your balancing. But, I mean, just to go two wheels. No one's going to think any less of you riding to work on two wheels. Particularly at that time of the morning, but impressive. I could tell you because he had a, you know, pants and shirt and a backpack on.

So I could tell you as an office worker, old unicycle turns up, he's always here early, burn in the midnight, get up late, you know, he's working hard. What happens in those bike racks? You know, like, do they fit into, you know, you put your bike or front tyre in for a thing. Can you put your unicycle in one of those? I imagine him just walking into the office slow motion, slinging the

unicycle over his shoulder. Yeah. And they're like, oh, unicycle's here. And you're not going to have to lock it, padlock it, because no one's going to steal it, are they? Because no one's going to go, oh, I'll ride this away. Maybe that's the reason. No one will ever steal that bike. We'll get two of them and we'll make a bigger bike, a proper bike. Oh, then shout out to the unicycle guy.

I don't know if he's tuning in this morning. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. The home of yeah, nah. She'll be right. And at the end of the day. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits.

Thursday morning. The A to Z of New Zealand. Something we do every day on the show. We call a different town or city in New Zealand. We're calling one a day. We're slightly making our way around New Zealand alphabetically, learning about each place as we go. And today we're heading to the west coast of the South Island,

Kokatahi, the rough and rugged west coast where not only the scenery is rough and rugged, so are the children. They'll eat the city children for breakfast. Do you find that, Ben? I found that with my cousins who lived on the farm in Angiura. I'd go down and... Oh, well, I didn't blend it.

I was like, you could eat me for breakfast. And they tried to one morning. You have friends that are farming people and they just wear stubby shorts all year round. It doesn't matter what the temperature is. They're just wearing those. You're like, that's impressive. And you talk to the kids on a farm

and it's like you're talking to a 55-year-old, isn't it? But they're only seven. Anyway, Kokutahi is located 15 kilometres from Hokitika and five kilometres from, you're probably not hard enough to live here. And we'll go through right now. Millennial Max has organised Adrian. G'day. G'day.

G'day. How are you? Good. I tell you what, I have not made this phone call a smooth transition. I started awkward. And you know what started me awkward, Adrian? Yeah.

Is the g'day on the phone as an answer. That's how you answer the phone on the West Coast? Yeah. Just a g'day. Even if you're a pom. It's through me. I'm just used to your stock standard boring hello, but g'day's great.

How are you? I'm fine, thanks, mate. And we've got a hold of Kokutahi. You have. What do you do there? At the moment, I'm on ACC. I've done something to my hands, and I don't know what.

Just waiting to see a specialist. All the bones have separated. So, oh well, such is life. What do you mean the bones have separated in your head? Like your fingers have come away from your hands sort of thing? No, the bones at the base of my thumb have separated. There's no cartilage growth or anything. There's just a big gap.

Oh my gosh. That must be very painful. It's painful, but oh well. Painkillers are wonderful things. That's right. So we're talking to a guy brought to you by Tramadol this morning. It's wonderful to have you with us. Now, Adrian, Kokatahi, 15k from Hokitika, I understand?

Yep. And famous, I see here, for the Kokatahi band. Yeah, so they say. Yeah, I've got some of the band on my computer. Oh, really? Oh, so they say. Yeah, I've got some of the band on my computer. Oh, really? Oh, that's cool. Everywhere you go, everybody knows the Cockatai Band. Apparently they've been around for years,

and they just replace the members as they fade out of life. I think you've got to be about 85 to join. Which is, you know, longevity of the band then. You know, they need to start them younger, maybe 75 or something. Yeah, yeah, when they retire. I could do that with the US presidents as well, start them a little younger, but anyway.

Just 30 years younger, guys. Yeah, or maybe got a female or something, you know, mix it up. Yeah, absolutely. So, Kokutai, if we ever come there, apart from seeing the band that are clinging on to life, what are you getting a house for in Kokutahi? Price-wise?

Yeah. It's an embarrassing thing to say, really. I'd pay just over $30,000 for it. No! You're kidding. How many bedrooms is it? Four. Four bedrooms, $30,000.

Wow. That is incredible. I paid cash for it. Did you? Yeah. That is a wonderful story. So things obviously would have gone up slightly since then. Yeah, they would have gone up slightly since then.

Oh, mate, the capital gains on that property would be enormous. We've done a heap of work to it. It was going to be burnt down. We saved it. Oh, that's awesome. Well, good on you guys. It looks like a lovely river there. I'm looking online.

Beautiful river, beautiful valley. Yeah, it is a beautiful valley. I'm standing in my lounge looking at the Alps with snow on them as we speak. Oh, magical place. Well, listen, Adrian, it has been an absolute joy talking to you. It will let you get on, and I hope your hand gets better, buddy. Look after yourself, and thank you for your time. I'm sure it will. All right, buddy. Have a good day, boys. See you, mate. See you, mate. Nice talking to you. It'll let you get on, and I hope your hand gets better, buddy. Look after yourself, and thank you for your time. I'm sure it will.

All right, buddy. Have a good day, boys. See you, mate. Nice talking to you. All right. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Now, three New Zealand comedians have been hitting the road,

doing shows and jokes about small New Zealand towns as they travel their way around the country. The comedians are called Frickin' Dangerous Bro. They're very, very funny. Yeah, the show's going to be on TVNZ On Demand and Pax, James and Jermaine join us in the studio. Now, let's be honest, you must have gone to some crap holes.

We wanted to sell the places as lovely. And I think we've done a good job. I do as well. Considering how much work that was though, they are crap holes. And there's some beautiful parts of the country, but you know, let's call a spade a spade. And so we all know that in the show,

when you refer to a town as lovely, it's a polite, passive aggressive way of saying it. Can you not pull back the curtain on this? This is an industry secret. All right. We genuinely loved the people in every place. Everywhere was great.

Everyone was welcoming. We always had fun. But man, can I tell you, Ash Burden is boring as hell. There was just nothing to do there. The Everywhere was great. Everyone was welcoming. We always had fun. But man, can I tell you, Ashburton is boring as hell. There was just nothing to do there. The people, great. The place, boring.

So do you learn about the place and then do you perform as well? Yeah. And the audience at home gets to see that. They get to see the live performance. Yeah. And we kind of, yeah,

talk about the place. Oh, so you cater. It's a bespoke comedy show for the town. It is a bespoke comedy show It is a bespoke comedy show How long do you give yourselves to write the show Before performing it? Not enough time

It was like we'd film all day And then we'd stay up for like three hours after that Writing stuff for the live show And it was just like We would just get loopy Our go to gag every single time we'd end up writing this gag Was Your town is beautiful Only because it's next to Our go-to gag Every single time We'd end up writing this gag Was Your town is beautiful

Only because It's next to Insert town next to that It was either that Or I'm not even joking It was either that Or ah Ashburton

The Hamilton of Christchurch Make it the Hamilton That's it next Or Kaitaia The Hamilton of Fargaday Like you're just choosing And just like Plug in the joke

You know what's sad Those are the jokes That crush on the night. People love it. If we come up with like a beautifully constructed joke that they've never heard, they just look at us. Yeah, they're like, what did you say? Whatever.

But then you're like, Grey Mouth sucks. And they're like, yeah. Yeah, Hawkinson could have lost their mind in that joke. It was like a full two-minute applause break for Great Mouth Sucks as well. Very exciting. It's great to see you guys on TVNZ On Demand this week. Now, I was doing a little bit of research on some of you guys.

Why do you guys have a confession booth, by the way? It's a soundproof booth because we do it. Oh, this is a fun game. We'll play it with you. Oh, okay. Okay, well, why don't one of you go into the soundproof booth. Oh, okay, you do it, Pax. It's five words, five grand.

Okay, so what we'll do is we'll send Pax into the soundproof booth. Oh, okay. You do it, Pax. It's five words, five grand. Okay, so what we'll do is we'll send Pax into the soundproof booth and we'll ask James and Jermaine to name the first word that comes into their head. I love this game. This is like the game that you throw at couples who are about to get divorced to see if they should get divorced. I have questions on you guys. Should freaking dangerous bros stay together?

We're about to find out. Okay, first word is up. Down. Okay. Oh, both of you.. Okay, first word is up. Down. Okay, both of you locked in. Okay, okay. Teddy. Bear. Oh, my God.

You guys are in sync. Okay, remote. Control. What? This is the easiest game in the world. Petrol. Voucher. Diesel.

Oh. It's because I get paid a lot of petrol matches instead of money And bark Dog Cat What? Okay, we'll bring Pax out from the soundproof booth Was Pax locked in?

Like if there was a fire, would he not be able to get out? There's a severe lack of oxygen in there too We forgot about Pax in the fire drill Oh my god, he's struggling to get unlocked. Is he locked in the cell phone? Oh, there we go. Is he locked in the cell phone? I love that.

I couldn't hear him yelling either. Boat Shoes over here was trying to open the door. He was panicking, yo. Don't call him Boat Shoes. I live here now. I was like, I live here now. This is my house. When he refers to Boat Shoes,

he's actually calling producer Humphrey Boat Shoes. He's wearing Boat Shoes today. I'm on a nickname for him too. Boat Shoes. Here we go. Okay, so we asked them five words. The first word that pops into their head. Do the same for you, Pax.

Up, down. One from one. Did both of you? Yeah, they did. Teddy. Yeah. Do the same for you, Pax. Okay. Up. Down. One from one. Did both of you? Yeah. Yeah, they did. Teddy. Bear. Oh, yeah.

Two for two. I thought you were going to say pain. Remote. Place. Oh. They win control. Yeah, control. That is the obvious one.

Yeah. He does a lot of kidnapping. Yeah. Let's see who we get with the, yeah. The most secluded area. Petrol? Voucher. Yay! That's what I said.

You know why? Because we're comedians and we get paid. That's exactly it! No joke. The first three years of our career is petrol vouchers. They're even in sync with their follow on answer. The final one. Frigging dangerous, with their follow on answer. The final one for Frickin' Dangerous Bro.

Bark. Dog. Oh, well done. You and Jermaine are most synced up. Oh, that was very fun. That was very fun. Always good hanging out

with you boys. You didn't even get to ask your question. That was way more fun. Frickin' Dangerous Bro this week, Wednesday, come out on TVNZ

on demand. Thursday. Today. It's out now. Well done, boys. Always fun hanging out with you guys and best of luck.

Thanks very much. We apologise in advance. Sorry about that. with you guys, and best of luck. Thanks very much. We apologise in advance. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this. Sorry you've been dragged into this. Shono and Pam, breakfast on the heads. The heads.

The heads. Buy the WhatsApp by doco.nz. Listen, thankfully she's here to bring the average age of this show down and let these two old dogs take a breather for a second. Starting to get on top of us. It's all right, it's all right. So in celebrity gossip today, Liz Hurley, who we talked about this yesterday a little bit,

she posted a photo, or there was a photo released of her in the snow, nearly topless, with kind of like a fur coat covering most of her... She had her snow globes out, didn't she? Yeah. That's great. Appropriately covered. It was tasteful.

It was like a body shot. And you and a few other people around thought it might have been her son who took the photo because he has taken photos of her in the past for Instagram, right? Yeah, so apparently her son's got a really good eye for photography and is the one who usually takes the photos. And so when this photo came out,

I think it was Piers Morgan, who's kind of like the UK Mike Hosking, like a big sort of television star. He slammed them, basically being like, why would your 18-year-old son take a photo like that? And then the whole world started talking about it. Now, Liz Hurley has tweeted saying it wasn't in fact her son that took the photo.

It was her 80-year-old mother instead. I get lesser of two evils, I guess. You're not ruining a childhood. But in turn, very impressive that the mum can use the... The technology, that's a great issue. She took a good photo. I think she even put a filter on it as well. Really impressive, Really impressive.

Really impressive. The son, we were just looking at photos of her son. Wow. He's a good looking guy. He is immaculate. He's got a very, very model look about him, eh? Yeah, if he's not a model, he should be. He looks incredible, eh? For sure.

Luscious hair. Very luscious hair. John, I'm sorry, can't relate. No, I can't relate. He's everything I'm not. Although we do have something. I do remember when I took Annie's first nudes. My mum. They went wild on

the net. Did they? They were tasteful, Ben. They were tasteful. If that's what people want to do and they're not hurting anyone. It was a Christmas theme. Sprawled under the Christmas tree. Okay. Can we move on to another story?

Appropriately placed presents. Yeah, let's move on. Now, I saw this story yesterday. Mum listens to the podcast. Don't listen to that bit, Mum. Hi, Annie. Too late now. And there's this man named Jake Williams

who has lived in the forest in the States slash off the grid for half of his life. He has his own gardens, but he eats roadkill off the side of the road. Now, he's got a goal to marry a Kardashian. And he's made headlines because he is kind of like, well, I want this place to share with someone else. I want to have kids so then they can grow up in this place. Oh, so he wants to take them to the bush.

Yeah, so imagine the Kardashian kids in a then they can grow up in this place. Oh, so he wants to take them to the bush. Yeah, so imagine the Kardashian kids in a bush. Imagine Kim K marrying this guy. I don't know if he's quite their type from other relationships, but maybe, who knows?

Now listen, Juliet, you've come back from Outward Bound. You've come back from the bush. Are we just going to get bush-related news? You're like, well, this is interesting.

This guy's... Yeah, I'm a... Bush and survival-related news. I'm a bush lady now. Like, it's... You and this guy don't get along. You should marry

the bloody bush man. I'll track him down. That'll be good. That'll be good. Possums that have been run over by 18-wheeler trucks. Oh, delicious. How do you...

What... Is it actual food that has been run over? Is it what he's eating when they say road cook? Yeah. Well, you need to find protein somehow.

Bear Grylls eats bugs, you know. You know, you can do it. You guys are looking at me like, gee. Yeah, well, you'd do it. You and this guy, yeah. The dark things you did in the bush, we can't speak of them again. Spy Entertainment News,

thank you so much for that. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. It is with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. It is wrapping up our time. Time to wrap up our show with why is today

going to be a good day? Whether you're in your car on your way to work or you're brushing your teeth and you've got all the foam around your mouth like a rabies laden dog or maybe you're lying in bed

scratching yourself or you've already done all those things. Call us right now. 08 the 100 the hits. Why is it going to be a good one? Kitty,

in Christchurch, you're on the air, go wild. Well, apart from listening to you guys, how else can you have a good day?

Oh, that's very kind of you to say that, thank you. Lovely, have you been listening to the... Really,

that's not it. Don't be silly, I wouldn't say that, yeah. She thought she found the breakfast club. No, I'm in Christchurch and we're a bit overcast today and we're only going for 21.

Now, they tell me 37 degrees over the last couple of days. Oh, look, I tell you, your clothes literally stick to you and you can't open your windows. It doesn't matter if you're in or you're out and you can't turn a fan on.

It's just going to blow the whole wind around. It's crazy. Just blow're in or you're out. You can't turn a fan on. It's just going to blow the whole wind around. It's crazy. Just blow your clothes off, Kitty. Yeah, wow. Oh, no, that visual's not good. Yeah, I was saying I slept on top of the bed last night and it's great. You don't have to make the bed the next morning. No, it's

perfect, isn't it? Yeah, well, you keep cool, Kitty, and we'll give you some hell pizza, eh? Great, thank you, guys. Thank you so much for listening. Really do appreciate it. Head to the Waikato. Good on you, Kitty. and we'll give you some hell pizza, eh? Great, thank you, guys. Thank you so much for listening. Really do appreciate it. Head to the White... Good on you, Kitty. Waikato's Paul is on the air. Moreno, Paul, why is it going to be a good day for you, mate?

Well, today is my son's birthday. That's why it's a good day for me. Oh, that's lovely. What's his name? Christopher. Happy birthday, Christopher. And what does he want for his birthday? Oh, well, wouldn't it...

Well, he wants to go to the beach and play around on the quad bike and waste petrol. Oh, right. Well, I hope he wanted a half-hearted birthday message from all of us on the radio. Yeah. Because he's got that. All his dreams have come true.

I think so. Well, I hope you and your son have a great day on the beach. Okay, Paul? Cheers, mate. I'm jealous of them going to the beach. It does sound nice. I don't have a body for the beach, though. Right.

You've had a few tog incidents as well. Yeah, see-through togs. They get quite clingy, you can see. Julia, don't look at me like that. She's like scrunching her face up. No, no, that's what we're all thinking. That's what we're all feeling. Tomorrow on the show, Five Words for 5K.

It's back again. It's our brand-new game show. A simple game of word association. You say five words. If they match up with our five words, you're $5,000 richer. It didn't happen today, but hopefully it happens tomorrow from six. We'll see you then. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can wake up with the boys weekdays from six on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.