Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Jono & Ben's Wild Wild Web!

Episode Date: February 25, 2024

In this brand-new daily podcast, we explore the wildest sides of the web... and end with Ben exploring a bidet in Japan!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's wide web. A swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying, and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle, Jono and Vienna are your fearless guides. Leading you through the wildest parts of the wild, wild web. This is the wild, wild web. Oh, I don't know if anything we do can live up to that intro That is a big intro for a show that we have no idea what we're doing Welcome along to the first episode, the inaugural episode of the Wild Wild Web

Joined by our wonderful Megan Puppers and our wonderful Ben Boyce and our OK Jono Pryor. Yeah, we're internet explorers in this little podcast where each day one of us brings a wild, wild true story that we've seen from the internet. So you can basically go along and, I was going to say, talk around a water cooler, but do officers even have water coolers anymore? No, we don't. We've got a tap that's quite cold. You can talk around the tap, the cold tap. There you go. And we're going, did you hear about that thing?

And they're like, nah. Oh, yeah, I did, and that'll be it. I don't think I've ever had a conversation around the cold tap. There you go. And we're going, did you hear about that thing? And they're like, nah. Oh, yeah, I did. And that'll be it. But, you know. I don't think I've ever had a conversation around a water cooler. Have you? No, we're not there for that. I mean, maybe filling up one of those Frank Green drink bottles or something that my daughters carry around.

That takes a while. You could cover a lot of ground. Maybe you could cover a wee bit, but you're right. But this is a new podcast. Who knows? This could be, imagine, this could be the start of something very special. This could be, watch out, Joe Rogan. I think he's fine.

Is he going to watch out? I think he's worried about too much, to be honest, Joe Rogan. You'll be getting AI ads soon of you trying to pimp off everything. Yeah, that's when you reach the lofty heights of superstardom on the internet, isn't it? When you've been ripped off AI. Matty McLean,

new host of the Afternoon show here on The Hits. He had that where he's voiced over using his voice. Sounded like 90% like him. What was it hawking off? Some sort of diet plan. Yeah, pills and stuff. Yeah, it was really impressive. But today I'm going to bring something to the party.

Now this is some audio. Bear with me. It's a little long, but I will also disclaimer, this guy has the most soothed, sexiest, deep voice you'll ever hear on the internet, okay? Now, this is about how the Japanese raised their children. Have a listen to this. Very interesting. This is why the Japanese people are considered among the wisest and greatest nations in the world you'll be quite surprised by the end in japanese schools the

students don't take any exams until they reach grade four the japanese believe that at this age there are far more important lessons to impart to children than those found on tests first there's teaching proper behavior and respect for all people regardless of their financial status. Second, it's about fostering independence and simultaneously the ability to work in a team. For example, there are no janitors in schools. Students share responsibilities and take full charge of cleaning. Third, students learn the importance of valuing and conserving the environment. Fourth, education is pursued truly for knowledge, not for grades. In the lower and middle grades, students aren't given grades.

Fifth, politeness and punctuality are emphasized As a result, children's interest in their studies is so high That attendance rates are nearly 100% And the overall development of these children ranks among the most advanced What do you think about this? What do you think about this? Isn't that really interesting? Because you hear about these Japanese football fans who came here for the FIFA World Cup.

That's right. And they were staying behind after the game, cleaning up the stadiums. That's right. You go to the movies here in New Zealand, everyone just chips their stuff all over the floor and walks out. Sometimes I just buy popcorn so I can turn it upside down and leave a mess. Isn't that really interesting?

So just put that in perspective, because they said they do no exams or tests until grade four. That's age nine or ten. So up until age nine or ten, they're just teaching them about life lessons. There's more important things to be learned than you can learn on a test. Yeah. That's great. Isn't it?

And you're not going to be making a mess, right? Like you're not going to do anything gross in the bathroom because you're going to have to clean it up. It does feel like, and I don't want to pick apart the education system. I mean, far be it for me, but it does feel like there are some things that you learn at school that you never, ever use again. I mean, trigonometry and things like that. I mean, not once have I ever used it. But no one taught me to do my taxes.

That's the thing, though. You almost need that life lesson sort of curriculum as well that everyone kind of learns. You're like, do your taxes, understand the things you like. How much of a fright when you get your first proper paycheck and then half of it's like, well, not half of it, but chunks gone out to the government.

You're like, does this happen every time? Oh, I know. Jeez, the amount of free-flowing conversations I've had in Latin. Yeah, yeah. So that's done me well over the years. I had to explain tax to one of my daughters

after she did an acting job and you could just see her little heartbreak. She went, what? The government? What are they taking this? What do they take it for? Do they take it every time? What are they take it for? Do they take it every time? What are they spending it on? Are they giving it back if they don't

spend it? I was like, ah, no, you thought you got that, but some of it's going away. But do you enjoy driving down that road you drive down every day? Yeah. Interesting, isn't it different parts of the world and different ways they approach society? What's been the most exciting thing you've seen overseas?

Going to Japan, i had a great time with the family in japan is that really one everyone seems really respectful lovely you know friendly people even you know when there's the language barrier people would come up to you they'd just see a confused me at the subway station trying to work out where to go and someone would come over even when we were meeting a friend of ours in japan who didn't speak very good english a guy came over and grabbed the phone and he just kind of had a conversation with me and translated it for me going oh she's on this platform platform i was like oh thank you so much just like a guy who just saw me in need which is pretty cool actually and you uh you saw

the world's most futuristic toilet that would talk to you or give you a pep talk yeah you can do it just breathe all sorts of simple buttons you don't know what the buttons meant and every now and again you get one that sort of shot a bit of water up oh you're like oh family would just hear me because i record it for radio and they'd just be like are you recording yourself on the toilet again for radio just just with the functions yeah again for radio and i'll be like oh they. Giggling away there as I was doing it. How many times did you need to record it for radio, Ben? Wonderful toilets.

Like, just warm and just lovely. Yeah, lovely. I like the people. How do you enjoy the bidet system? I feel like we could employ that over here. Yeah, I think that was great. You feel clean. Yeah.

I had a bidet growing up. Did you? Did you? Yeah. I was like, I didn't. I'm the only person I've ever met in New Zealand to have a bidet. Good on you. I love, every time I've used one, I've gone, man, I didn't. I'm the only person I've ever met in New Zealand to have a bidet. Good on you. I love, every time I've used one, I've gone, man, you couldn't get any cleaner down there.

Like I feel. It feels like it's a great idea. It feels like you're smudging with what we use. You're not smudging it around. Having a separate one is weird though, because those toilets, they have a built in. The problem is you go into the toilet, right? And then you have to get off the toilet. Oh, is this what you had to do?

And then get on the bidet, yeah. To then clean. It's like. Would people come to and then get on the bidet. To then clean. It's like. Would people come to your house and confuse the bidet for like a urinal? No. Or like another. Everyone wanted to try it though. Of course you do.

It's kind of weird. How long were people in the bathroom for? A long time. And then at parties like friends in the toilet. Most of the time mum only used it to like soak the plants. Right. It's like a water blaster for your butthole. It is.

It is. And then do you have to towel yourself off, do you? It wasn't like you're dripping weed or anything like that. No, it wasn't. It's just like, do you hold it down for how long you want it to go for? A little burst of excitement. Ben knows. It's just like you did it all the time.

I really do. I came back just talking about the many tales about the futuristic toilets. And I was like, man, they are onto something. Have you still got the audio on your phone? No, I don't. If you search up toilet. Yeah. I have a lot here.

I've never been to Japan. You've been to Japan, Megan? No, I've never been. That's awesome. I've always wanted to, though. Yeah. What's the population? Jeez, 125 million.

That is a bunch of people in a pretty small island really, isn't it? Is it the same size as New Zealand? Have you got it? Plug it in, we'll get the dongle. I can't wait to hear Ben going, oh! Okay, I'm in the bathroom in Japan and there is

a lot of options to choose from on the toilet. You sound creepy. I sound like you're trying to be that guy. Okay, so that just gives you a nice sort of noise. There's the privacy noise. So you put it on as well and that would just

like sort of white noise sort of thing if you didn't want your nose. That was just a background noise. Obscuring any natural noises. Yeah, so that was one of the options nose. That was just a background noise. Obscuring any natural noises. Yeah, so that was one of the options, but I was just discovering this as I went along. It's also good if you're sobbing in the toilet as well.

That's right. It's something you do often. I do it a lot here at work. Two different flush buttons. Some buttons that look like either they're going to shoot someone out of the toilet or maybe water towards your bottom. Wish me luck.

I'm going to push one of them to see if it'll wash my derriere. I don't know. Nothing so far. Waiting. This is that toilet button roulette. Ooh, there you go. There you go. Is that blasting you now?

Yeah, it was just giving me a little bit of a laugh. Okay. You're talking in a higher tone. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. So that was a live butt cleaning on Ben Boyce. I've listened to you while you've had your butt cleaned.

Yeah, there we go. There we go. Yeah, and it was wonderful. Classic New Zealand, so you go over to Japan and be like, no, the toilet. So cool. I mean, the country is amazing. For the bits I saw, just a real mix of culture

and just future robot fighting shows. Do they have, I've heard a lot about random ATM dispensers. Yeah, all sorts of stuff as well. Even before like sushi train places where you just ordered on an iPad and it would come to you. Or before, they're getting that sort of stuff here now, but yeah, we went to a Pokemon restaurant as well. So all the food just kind of made into the style of like Pokemon characters and things.

I kind of thought to probably the detriment of the taste of some of the food, you're like, oh, we need something brown here. So, but you know, like it was, but it was cool. It was cool for like, it was great for the gram. And then halfway through they brought out the chef, which was a giant Pikachu mascot with a chef's hat. And everyone applauded the chef. I was like, he didn't cook any of that.

But anyway, it was honest, some of it was bland. But it was cool for the experience. Didn't you say there was someone there with an entire Michael Jackson themed shop? Oh, there was a shop. Yeah, all based around. And this was around the time of the Michael Jackson doco just afterwards. Oh, okay. It was still going on.

And I was like, oh, this is interesting. Controversial. Just nothing but Michael Jackson fan stuff. You know, like t-shirts. Were there lots of people in store? It wasn't a lot. It was probably at the peak of all the allegations. But I kind of felt like maybe he'd just bought a lot of that stuff.

He was like, well, I'm just going to keep selling this stuff. I'm going to write it out. Hopefully he's not guilty. Write it out. So, yeah. Did you know, here's another fun fact about Japan. At five years old,

the kids are bloody catching the subway by themselves, walking themselves to school without any adults. Oh, really? That's how safe the society is. Five years old. Good Lord. Wow. Some of them travel, uh, says 10 kilometers from their house to school. Safety aside, like, that's quite an achievement.

That's my son in two years. There's no way he'll be ready. You'd let him in two years. There's no way he would know how. And you see that show on Netflix where they send the kids, I think it's filmed in Japan, and they send the kids down to the shops and they film them all. And most of the time the kids know the shopping list better than I would. You know, that's pretty incredible. Hey, Japan, nailing life.

And how did we feel the first episode of the Wild Wild Web win, guys? Well, I didn't think we were going to start. I didn't think we were going to play my butt cleaning audio. Let's be honest. Irrigation. There was no planning about that. But hey, you know, this is what the Wild Wild Web is all about. We're going to play something and or talk about something.

And who knows where we're going to end up. You might just hear Ben going, oh. Plenty more recordings of that came from, guys. See what leads me into it tomorrow.