Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - July 02 - Reception Reception, Messaging The Wrong Person, Producer Juliet Is Parking Illegally At Work!

Episode Date: July 1, 2020

Good morning good evening or goodnight for whenever you're listening. Today we sprung a pop quiz on an unsuspecting New Zealander and she took it like a champ! We also played one of our favourite games Reception Reception - where we leave messages for each other via other receptions to see if they'll pass it on. Also Ben told a story about how he found some cannabis frozen in a hotel room... Juicy stuff! Enjoy the podcast.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Ben Boyce, he's back for another one. He's back again like DJ Khaled. Back for another, what does Khaled say? Another one, yeah, and we're back for another one, another podcast intro. We have a lot of debate on the podcast intro, about the podcast intro, whether we should be doing it. I did a little bit more research just then. Because you're anti-podcast intros.

Yes, but this is from the audacitytoppodcast.com. So great tips for a great podcast intro. So you go, imagine someone starts listening to your podcast on the way to the grocery store. That's what they've said to do. Imagine that. And be unique as early as possible. So I guess by talking about the podcast intro, that's unique.

It's slightly unique and you're researching how to do a podcast intro. Yeah, I mean, it's quirky, I guess. Summarize what the episode contains. Identify yourself and your co-hosts. I'm Ben. I'm Jonathan. Yeah, probably should have done that at the start. But anyway, and explain your purpose for new listeners.

Why are we here? We've got mortgages to pay off. Yeah, management are probably wondering why we're here as well, but anyway that's some effective podcast introduction for you and after that, enjoy the podcast. Yeah, well you haven't seen what's coming up in it though. Today we tested out our game

Reception Reception where we leave messages for each other via receptions to see if they'll pass them on. Also had to speak to a really interesting guy, a New Zealand guy who's going viral on the internet, Bogan, for playing the piano. Oh yeah, it's very impressive actually. And you have a go at me about my online shopping. Yes, I think you'd do something that a lot of people would also do.

Yeah, and Ben finds two ounces of weed in a freezer and claims it's not his in Los Angeles. Alright, we'll get to all of those things and more on the podcast. Enjoy. The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, rapper Snoop Dogg, all the way over there in the States, he's weighed in on New Zealand's cannabis referendum that's happening in just a couple of months about whether cannabis should be legalised

in New Zealand. Snoop Dogg, obviously a big fan of cannabis. I was just Googling. Didn't we say something about him the other day about how much 81 blunts a day he smokes. He's got someone that rolls it for him. His job is to roll cannabis. No one's working harder than Snoop

Dogg's blunt roller. 81? 81 a day. It's surprising he gets anything done. How did he take time to even write something to New Zealand? So there was a poll done online and it said that in this poll, an independent research poll by a therapeutics company that does medicinal cannabis.

But anyway. There's no connection. There's no agenda here. 56% of people, according to this poll, vote for legalising cannabis. And Snoop Dogg. And all of them were their staff.

Referenced Gandalf. You know, of course, Lord of the Rings in his New Zealand post. I love Lord of the Rings. I'm from New Zealand. He said, Gandalf smoking you know, of course, Lord of the Rings in his New Zealand post. I love Lord of the Rings. I'm from New Zealand. He said, Gandalf smoking that good good

is what he said and put a little article saying New Zealand about New Zealand supporting cannabis. Were they like, did they go back to Snoop Dogg and go,

oh, have you got anything else you could add to that sentence? It feels like you've just half finished a sentence. Well, mate, he's got 81 blunts to get through. He's having a busy day. We've spoken before on the show how it's legal to smoke marijuana.

It's fine in California now, but before it wasn't, when it was illegal, I went over there for a work trip. Now, I'm going to ask Juliet before he tells the story. I just... Everyone needs their facts. This is the time we had dreadlocks on his head. This is his dreadlocked ears. We had to shave them off before we came to the hits

We thought it might divide the audience No, it wasn't good But anyway This was before The truth be told It was before that it was legal over there Okay, Bob Marley Whatever you want to say

I was staying in a hotel At the director of mine Not a very flash hotel But in LA And we'd been staying in this room for about three days And then as we were getting our stuff to pack up to leave, we were still looking in the fridge, did we put anything in the fridge in the freezer and in the freezer were

two big bags of marijuana. They'd been there the whole time. The whole time Juju? The whole time. Now we, no no, no. And so we're like oh my God, well you know, it's not ours, we're going to leave this here, you know, leave this. What did the Doobie Brothers do?

How did you get out of this one? We were going off to film somewhere else in the States. We were leaving. And then, but a few days later, we came back to that hotel for one night before we went home. And then I got a knock on the door from the manager. And he was like, hey, did you stay here a few nights ago? And I was like, yep.

He's like, you left something in the room. I'm like, no, no, no, it wasn't ours. He was like, it's drugs. I was like, yeah, I know it's drugs. It was just left in the room. And like no no no no it wasn't ours he was like it's drugs I was like yeah I know it's drugs you just left it in the room and I can imagine your voice would have been getting higher and higher

it's not ours it's not me it was in the room we probably shouldn't in hindsight we should have reported it to you guys but we didn't

we just kind of left and he was like well it's in here and they put it aside for us which was lovely in the room with the towels they were like where are you going

did they thaw it out because it was frozen obviously I was like look it's honestly not ours whatever you do with it it's up to you but yeah clear your name

you've got to fly back to New Zealand great cover up great cover up it's so funny people storing weed in the freezer then forgetting about it

like there couldn't be any more irony in that so much but we know which way Ben's voting in the referendum

this year then we don't actually I don't know I don't know actually either honestly I don't know how I feel about it no I'm torn

especially as a parent now I'm like I don't know if I want that yeah I don't know I don't know medicinal seems like a no brainer

but that's already a thing that's a thing right so this is just a purely legaliser yeah I honestly don't know how I feel about it which is weird because the government is trying to stamp down on tobacco and stuff, but then saying, hey, please.

Where you going? Get some of this in you. Blaze up the Don Juanita. It'd be very interesting to see how things go in September, not too far away. Remember to double pump the boogles. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, the reception reception is a wee game that you like to play. Me, not so much, Jono.

Yeah, no. Is this workplace bullying? I don't know. But we use other people's receptions for our own good because we don't get to use a reception. We're not in a job where, you know, this is a low-level job. We don't go to a receptionist, hey, any messages for me? No.

No, do we? So what I do is I find a place. Ben, I send you out of the studio now. You go. Okay, I'm going. I'm going to leave a message with Main Freight today, and we'll see if the receptionist will pass it on to Ben. Let's call through.

Welcome to Main Freight, Thomas from North. You're speaking with Amber. Hi, Amber. How's it going? Good, thank you. How are you? Yeah. How's it going? Good, thank you. How are you? Yeah, no, I'm doing well, thank you. Listen, I was just going to leave a message for Ben,

if that's all right, if you can just take a quick note. For Ben? Yeah. He gave me this number. He said, leave a message with you, Amber, and when he calls, you'll be able to pass it on. Ben, I'm not sure who Ben is.

Well, I'm actually his doctor, and I had a note to pass on, so I can't patient confidentiality. I can't give his last name. But he gave me this number. He said if you leave a message with Amber, he will then call you and you'll be able to pass the message on. But you've rung main freight,

and you're going to share his information with me? Yeah, yeah. Is that all right? What is it? Well, if you could just take this down. He sent me a photo of it. He sent me a photo of it. And no, it's not meant to be that inflamed.

Oh, okay. And if you also could just tell him, if the ointment hasn't worked in two days, and he still can't sit down. Yep. He will need to come and see me again. Okay. I'll pass that on, but yeah, I'm not sure.

Hey, thanks, Amber. You are a hero. All right, not a problem. What a lovely lady. Thank you. You have a wonderful day. There was Dr. J, by the way. All right, cool.

Okay. Thank you. Bye. Thanks. day. There was Dr. J, by the way. All right, cool. Okay. Thank you. Bye. Thanks. There we go. It was the doctor. And it's time to bring Ben Boyce back in for the soundproof booth. How was it in there?

It was quiet. Quiet. Got to think about my life. Yeah. Some of the choices I've made, they're not good. Yeah. Question yourself as a human. Yeah.

Yeah. But anyway, I'm back now. I know you sound sad inside. Like commercial radio fodder. So what... So you just need to phone back Main Freight here. Okay. And hopefully Amber will answer the phone. Amber, okay.

Amber will pass on the message that you've left for me. Okay, I can't wait. Amber. Welcome to Main Freight Palmerston North. You're speaking with Amber. Oh, hi, Amber. My name's Ben Hi

Hi Yeah Are you the one His doctor just rang? Your doctor just rang? Maybe I don't know why I gave him His number to my doctor

But yeah What is the message that might have left Is there a message for me? Yeah. So I assumed it was one of our storemen. Right. Because we've got a storeman, Ben. Oh, sorry, it's not.

It's me. It's, yeah, I don't actually work for you guys. I work in radio, but anyway. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, yeah, but he just said, he's ringing this number and someone's got a message for me. Yeah, so it's...

Yeah. If you're not able to sit down... Yeah. If I'm not able to sit down, because I'm standing right now, so yeah. Yeah, you'll have to go back and see him. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, and if that's if the oinkman hasn't worked.

Okay. I don't know what I'm laughing about. Sorry, this just seems really bizarre. No, no, fair enough. It's all right. It's unusual the way we get messages to people these days, but that's all right. Yeah, absolutely.

Okay, so don't sit down. Go back and see anything else? No, just not meant to be that inflamed. If oinkment hasn't worked in two days and you still can't sit down, go and see the doctor again. Amber, you're amazing. It's Jono and Ben calling for the Hits radio station.

Hi. Amber, we play a game called Reception, Reception to see if a wonderful receptionist such as yourself will pass on a message. He hasn't been passed on any messages from an actual doctor. Okay, that's good. That's good to know. And he's sitting down right now.

I am actually sitting down uncomfortably too, so you know, Amber. And I can vouch it's certainly not that inflamed at all. No. Okay. And I put the cream on myself. He does. I don't know why he does that, but anyway. Amber, you're a great sport.

We thank you for your time. Hold the line. We'll find something for you, buddy. All right. Love your work, Amber. Serving bowls of lollies for breakfast. Actual lollies may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads.

Now, Jono, something I've noticed that you do in the mornings here on the radio show. It's a high standard of broadcasting. I haven't noticed that. High quality of broadcasting. Breaking fashionable trends. Well, you know that. Being the most likeable guy in the office. So, particularly, Juliet, you'll notice too that he's often, you know,

tapping away on his laptop. Yeah. One finger at a time, eh, typing away. Sometimes I see you're looking through some websites, some clothing websites, some fashion websites, which is fine. You know, you're looking, you're looking. And you're putting stuff in your cart. I notice you put a lot of stuff in the cart,

in the shopping cart. Yeah, I do, I do. Yeah, well, that's how the process works. Yeah, yeah. Where are you heading with this? Well, I notice also that you don't actually seem to follow through with the fashion choices you've made and put in your cart.

No, no. Well, one of my favourite hobbies on the internet is just chucking a whole bunch of stuff into a cart, getting to the point where you're about to pay and then deciding not to. So I guess, you know, the real life equivalent would be going around Kmart, filling up a whole trolley, going up to the counter saying no thanks and walking off. Would you like these? No, no, good thanks.

You can go and put these back on the shelf. True. At least you're doing it online. Well, that's a little less inconvenient for them. But I'm a shocking shopper. At least you're doing it online. Well, that's right. I mean, less inconvenient for them. But I'm a shocking shopper. I'm a high impact shopper. I can imagine your patience is very low.

Oh, I'm in and out of the mall 25 minutes. Yeah. And I'll just go on a show. If I need to get something, I'll be like, that looks like it'll fit.

Those look like they'll fit. Oh, so you don't even try it on? No. Oh, what? No. Trying on clothes is... But how often has that gone wrong, in the way that you put on something you're doing?

I'm saying it like I'm doing it so well, but I get how you wouldn't have believed the amount of times I got home and I'd be like, damn it, I've got my guts out on this T-shirt. It's like a crop top. I can't get these pants over my knees. All these shoes don't fit. It's happened multiple times.

And so in hindsight, as I say it now, it's probably not the best shopping method. Maybe I should take those, just those couple of minutes to try on the clothes. I loved it when we were doing the TV show. We got, we were lucky enough to get a few matching suits from one of our sponsors. Helen's Son Brothers were sponsoring the show at the time. And you are in a fluster on the way to a

wedding and like down south in Queenstown you went and grabbed a suit from the office and ended up not knowing It was one of Ben's ones designed for a seven year old boy so then I had nothing like I was at the motel just before the wedding was about to start in 20 minutes I was like I've got no other option

so I pulled these things on it was like squeezing the meat into the sausage skin as I was pulling the pants up my thighs were pouring over the top of the trousers and I could kind of get them just up to my groin. Because you'd do them up?

No. So I went to this wedding unzipped. Completely unzipped. And so I just spent a lot of time sitting down and stuff. And I don't know

if there are any moose in Queenstown, but there were certainly moose knuckles. Well, there might. A mice knuckle, yes. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, a Kiwi tradie, he's gone viral for the most surprising thing. There's a video of this Kiwi tradie playing piano. It's a piano strapped to the back of a muddy work truck. He's a bricklayer. He's got a beanie on. He's got a hoodie. He's got gumboots on. And he's playing Metallica Fade to Black on this piano.

Have a listen. Very cool. It's amazing, because you wouldn't expect, I guess you're stereotyping, you wouldn't expect it, and he's dressed like he's, you know, just done a hard day's work as a bricklayer, and it's amazing. Bogan Chopin,'t he yeah it's awesome

it's always impressive I always like it when people play instruments that you don't think they would play like Lizzo plays the flute yeah

and it's always really impressive it's always quite impressive you've got a recorder in the studio the world's most you would never expect me to play the recorder

world's most annoying person with the world's most annoying instrument you can't play the computer the recorder stop okay annoying person with the world's most annoying instrument. You can't play the computer. The recorder. Stop. Okay.

You can't play. I don't know why you own a recorder. It's a beautiful instrument. Yeah, we'd play perfectly. Now we're going to go through to this Kiwi tradie that's going viral. His name is Ryan Allen. He's a bricklayer. Let's give him a call. Hello?

Hello, is that Ryan? Yes, it is. Ryan, the piano-playing bricklayer. Yeah, Ryan, the Metallica piano-playing bricklayer. Oh, he's trying to add some credibility to his piano playing. I love it. It's Jono Jono and Ben from The Hits here. Mate, how are you?

Oh, is it really? Oh, yeah, good, thanks. Nice to talk to you, buddy, and congratulations on going viral on the internet. Mate, how are you? Oh, I'm good. Oh, yeah, good. Good, thanks. Nice to talk to you, buddy. And congratulations on going viral on the internet. Yeah, thanks. I haven't really seen it because I don't look

at the internet much and I don't watch TV, but I appreciate it. What do you do then? You don't look at the internet or watch TV? He's a bricklayer, aren't you?

Yeah, I just look at my emails and the other thing, oh, banking. Oh, you do some banking and that's as far as your internet. Have you never seen a cat video? Oh, no. Oh, you do some banking. That's as far as your internet. Have you never seen a cat video? Oh, no. No, mate.

Some cat videos. We could show you some cat videos. It'll blow your mind. Oh, my God. There's this baby. There's this baby. And Charlie bites his finger. We'll have to send you that.

There's a whole lot of stuff you need to catch up on. Oh, yeah. I look forward to it. You haven't felt the joy of skipping a YouTube pre-roll, lad? Oh, so much there. Oh, my God. So how did this all come about? Were you doing a job and then there was a piano

there? Yeah, I laid bricks for a living but a mate of mine had to get rid of a piano and I tried to give it away to other people and no one wanted it so I thought I was just going to have some fun with it and I said to a builder mate, check this out and video this and I showed him some Metallica and I didn't think it was going to get so many views and all that. I've tried doing that myself

but it doesn't work like it does when Duncan does it for me. Well, you're sitting there on the back of a truck. You've got your gummies on. You're sitting there, the piano's tied onto the back of the truck. You're just playing away Metallica. It's pretty awesome. Yeah, I was on my way down to the mountain. I sat at the base of the mountain for two hours

and played for about, I don't know, 50 people. Watched and recorded and clapped after every song and cool little concert. Oh, wow. But you don't even know how viral you're going because you don song and cool little concert. Oh, wow. But you don't even know how viral you're going because you don't look at the internet. No, I don't. Oh, let me tell you,

we've been looking at the internet for you, Ryan. It's going well. You're going well. Okay, yeah. I don't have a smartphone. That's how basic my life is. It's good. Hey, no, you know,

how are you operating in 2020? I've got a laptop computer for all that stuff, but yeah, I don't want a computer in my pocket all the time. So where did you learn piano? Like back in school or what? Yeah, I learned from the age of six, private lessons. Mum took me around to the music teacher every week and passed all my exams, got a theory diploma under my belt.

And yeah, it's quite a handy skill to have in life. I'm really thankful. I imagine it's a great party trick pulling out a piano. I imagine that when you were a kid, going to piano must have been just like busting your balls. Oh yeah, no one would believe me that when I say I can play a Metallica song on the piano, I've got to actually do it.

Oh, well, that's great, Ryan. Well, Ben, I know Ben's wife, Amanda, she accepted a piano and it's been the bane of your life, hasn't it, Ben? Yeah, we got a free piano. We're like, oh, great, free piano. But we've got a couple of young kids and when they've got friends and a free piano in the lounge is not that great when no one can play it.

Obviously, if you came over, it'd be great because you can play, but they can't really play. Yeah, you can put the headphones down when I come over. Yeah, that's for sure. Oh, jeez. Oh, well, well done on going viral on the internet, even though you don't know. Yeah, this is well done on going viral on the internet, even though you don't know. Yeah, this is my first time going viral.

That was awesome. Ryan, the piano-playing bricklayer, he's doing big things on the internet. We should get that on our internet. Oh, yeah, we should check it up on the Jono and Ben Hits Breakfast Facebook and Instagram. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, we want to talk about the right message, but sent to the wrong person. And we'd love your calls on 0800THEHITS or on the text 4487. Because a friend's mum in a new relationship, she sent a text to what she thought was her new partner of, you know, a bit of a provocative sort of text. What are we talking, Ben? I'm a details guy. Quite a lot of details I'd have to explain in this one.

Yeah, we'll keep going. Tell me. Thinking it was just to her new partner, but send it to the whole family on the head of like a text. Like a WhatsApp sort of group situation. Oh, my gosh. There's nothing more disturbing than a naked boomer turning up on your text. Especially when that boomer gave birth to you. Yeah, you're like, mum! Oh, yeah, they were quite

mortified. They don't really, it's one of those situations that he's like, I don't know if I could talk about this. You know, like, I don't want to bring this up with mum. Oh, so no one's said anything. But mum knows. She needs to front foot it. Surely. I just sent this text of myself with a picture to the whole family. Yeah, it's a boom and nudie blunder, that one. Shocker. The right message.

Obviously, she wanted to get that message to someone, but she sent it to the wrong person. I find the cloud has really opened things. Yeah, it's the wild west, the cloud. It's almost like leaving your life savings in a bus stop. Going, oh, some people will walk past it. Other people will look at it and inform you. And then others will just go and take it and do what they want with it.

I imagine many a relationship has been ended because of stuff that's happened. They've taken a photo and it's been uploaded to the cloud. Oh, like people having affairs and things. Yeah, you know, like, oh, we'll take a snap and then the family at home go, hang on. Like, and if you're having an affair, just don't take photos of yourself. Surely that's the first rule of Affair Club.

Chapter one on a book of how to have an affair. Try not to take photos of yourself if you can. Yeah, well, I suppose that's a good thing. But we're not here to coach people

through affairs, Ben. No. That's not what this show is designed to do. We're just here to vaguely tell you the time in the morning. That's what we like to do. So 0800, the hit's 4487.

It was the right message you sent to the wrong person. Love to get your texts this morning. I know, should we get Producer Humphrey in? Yeah, Producer Humphrey was talking about a very unsavoury instance where this happened, right? Yeah, good filling in, Ben, boys. Because Producer Humphrey was running through from the next room and I think flawlessly covered

there. Thank you. Thank you. The time, just if you're wondering, just ticked on to 7.34, guys. Now what happened to your friend? Yeah, so I had a friend who was doing her OE over in the UK and she was part of a database for someone that sold party supplies.

Right. And he was a part of it. The streamers, poppers, balloons. Yeah, I mean, he had big wheels on his car for you, if you get my drift. Big shiny. Party business is going well. He had big wheels on his car. And anyway, he was taking some annual leave from his party supply business.

As you do. I mean, you all need to take time out. Even party supply people need to take time out. You want work-life balance. Hey, guys, I'm booked a me annual leave. And so he put it on his out-of-office, and he'd sent a group text out to his database on WhatsApp. But what it did was it didn't send the message out to each individual one by one.

It put them all in one group and sent it out. So there was 300-odd people on this text message, all with their numbers of clients to the party supply. And she said that literally she just sat there and watched it and it was names just leaving the group, leaving the group, leaving the group. John O'Prior has left the group. Bad Boys has left the group. Bad Boys has left the group.

He's like, all this party supply dealing is taking it out of me, guys. I need some time off. Just a convenient message for you all.

One message for all. How many body parts simultaneously shrunk up inside of their bellybuttons? Oh, that's so good. So, 0800 the hits, 4487, right message,

wrong person. When did you see the text or an email that you thought was the right message, but it ended up going to the wrong person? Love to hear your calls and texts this morning. Let's head to Christchurch. Philippa, welcome to the show, mate. How are you?

Morning, good. How are you guys? We're good. Great to have you on. How's Christchurch this morning? Very cold, yes. I've got lots of layers on. Geez, old Gary McCormack would be warming up, wouldn't he?

Don't you want to start some beef with Gary McCormack? I want this show to have, old Gary McCormick would be warming up, wouldn't he? You don't try to start some beef with Gary McCormick. I want this show to have beef with Gary McCormick. Anyway, I was just saying Gary McCormick

might be the warm-up, that's all. Anyway, Philippa, I don't want to drag you into our McCormick beef. It's getting ugly. Anyway, what's the right message

or wrong person, mate? So I was having a bit of a complaint about one of my bosses, even very embarrassed, actually. So I said that he was as useless as a white crayon. I just really needed to vent it out to one of my workmates. And a white crayon is the most useless of all the crayons. And so what did you say? A white crayon?

Yeah. You just can't see it on a paper. Yeah, I suppose you're right. Yeah, I suppose it's, yeah. That's in the day. And I was thinking about my boss, and so I accidentally sent it to him. Uh-oh.

And, yeah, just got a, you know, dot, dot, dot, wrong person, I think. And I've been meeting with him the next day. Oh, no. And this is, we've spoken about it before, I want to invent the suck back feature for the text system. So you've got 10 minutes to suck a text back. Yes, that would be very helpful.

Yeah, because you've got like a delay on your email, don't you? On my email, a 60-second delay because I send out for that same reason because I send out something going, oh, I can't believe they're charging us this much. What a rip-off to the person. And then I was frantically trying to Google how I could suck it back. And everyone's like, there is a way you could do it,

but you need to have set up the software beforehand. I'm like, oh. It wasn't the first thing, remain calm. Yeah, remain calm. Which is like, when you're wound up like that, the last thing you want to have is someone going, remain calm. Just tell me what I can do. Philippa, you're an absolute angel.

Have a great day. You too. Enjoy Christchurch. Janine, also in Christchurch. Hi. Here it's cold down there. McCormick better be wrapping up warm. He's got it too good for too long there, McCormick.

We're coming for you. Very slowly. Let's not promise anything, Joe. Janine, good to have you on the air. What was the right message, wrong person? So I had a friend who lives back in South Africa, and we were friends with benefits. And we were sending, it was a text relationship,

and I had recently gone through a really bad marriage and I had another friend who was sort of helping me fixing up the house and stuff and I accidentally sent a text to this friend who lives here in New Zealand and it was all about a scene

from Fifty Shades of Grey and it was meant for the friends with benefits and I only realised I sent it to the wrong person an hour later. Well, that was an arse-breaker, and a year later, myself and this chap in New Zealand are still together. Whoa! So the text you sent to the wrong person

ended up being a relationship starter? Yeah. She said it was an arse-breaker, Ben. That was a Fifty Shades of Grey scene, I think. It was an absolute arse-breaker, Ben. That was a 50 shades of grey scene, I think. It was an absolute arse-breaker. Oh, that's a wonderful story, Janine. I'm really happy for you. What happened to the other guy, poor guy?

He's still waiting for that text. We're still very good friends. He's still tied up in a basement, is he? No, he's in a relationship with someone else. Oh, good. I'm bad at this Not with benefits anymore Julie you're a good You hold the line my friend

We're going to find Something for you We appreciate your call This morning alright Okay Thanks Julie Just like a chocolate Milk shake

Only white And disappointing It's Jono and Ben On my heads Spy No what's up Spy.co.nz She's our matriarch

Of mundane gossip Producer Juliet And with this episode of Spy. And Benny has gone and done it again, so she started off on Jimmy Fallon, and now she's gone on Alan for a performance. Hey, Alan, thanks for having me. It's just amazing, eh?

Like, she's incredible. And, yeah, she's filming them all from here, obviously. Can't travel to the States at the moment, and just taking the world by storm from the comfort of her lounge. Oh, yeah, that's the thing that you're so amazed with. She doesn't have to leave the house. She doesn't have to. She hasn't left her lounge.

Yeah, so she's been on Jimmy Fallon. She's been on Ellen today and two huge international talk shows. And we found something on the internet. I was like, oh, my God. Ben found something on the internet. And this has only got how many views? 12 views. This needs more views than it's got.

So I was like, this is the thing. It's Super Lonely sung by Ellen and Jimmy Fallon.. It's Super Lonely sung by Alan and Jimmy Fallon. So it's Benny's song sung by Alan and Jimmy Fallon. I was like, how did this happen? They've put all their differences aside. They're competing talk shows and they've joined together for a duet. What does it sound like? What the person's done is obviously got little bits of Alan and Jimmy Fallon,

but just very random bits. Have a listen to this. I love it though. I do. You love it. It makes no sense on any level. And, you know, I go back to something we've always campaigned for,

a good old spring clean of the internet. That needs more than 12 years. It does, yeah. That needs to be going viral. That's amazing. Hopefully someone from the Herald's listening to this. Put that on the Herald. Let's get some traction for that video.

It wasn't even ours, but I love it. I know. Make that bigger. Well done, Benny, though. So proud of you. For sure. And a singer named August Alcina has claimed that he had an affair with Jada Pinkett Smith and that they had the blessing of Jada's husband, Will Smith, to have the affair.

And then they've come back and is like, no, this is not true. But he is adamant that it happened. And there have been rumors going around that Jada and Will had an open marriage. That's the thing, hey. It's been for many years. People said they've got an open relationship. They've denied it. Well, if it is open, why would they deny it?

Because then so many people would know it was open. True. Yeah, you're right. Maybe they've admitted that they've changed from being, they label their relationship as a life partnership. So maybe they can go off with other people if they choose to or if they allow each other to. Ben and me have an open relationship.

Yeah, we've got a life partnership, haven't we? Yeah. You can go off and do whatever you want with other people. Oh, thank you. Lee Hart. Oh, come on. Better bald guys than you. Yeah.

And I'm absolutely fine with it. Yeah. Yeah, nothing wrong here. Don't you stay away from Jeremy Wells, all right? You know he's better than me. 4487, are you in an open relationship? If it works for you, it's

sweet, right? As long as no one's getting hurt and everyone's happy, it's fine. Yeah, fine. Give us a text to tell you when we'll get you on air and quiz you next. We can change your name if you want. To what? Jeremy Wells. There we go. Maybe we To what? Jeremy Wells. There we go. Oh, no, maybe we can't say Jeremy Wells is an open relationship.

Yeah, it might be defamatory. We'll change your name. We'll think of something else. We'll think of it, depending on the person, we'll think of that. To buy us this. Okay. Oh, interesting. All right.

For more Spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz, and I'd just like to end on this. All right, that, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep. All right, that's enough of that. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Now, Producer Juliet, are we going to talk about this? Because I feel like we should. Well, you started now, and if you pull out,

it'll be weird for the audience. If you went now, it's the hits 8.35. Here's some more pink. If you did that now, that would be weird. It would be a half-finished idea. Yeah, you're pink. If you did that now, that would be weird. It would be a half-finished idea. Yeah, you're right. So you've committed now. Okay, we have.

So Producer Juliette's been getting away with absolute car parking murder. Yes. So, yes. So during lockdown and Level 3, I was still required to come into the office to make sure the radio show was still going to air and everything like that. Essential worker. Hashtag essential worker. Yes, hashtag essential worker.

Front line. Love it. And noag essential worker. Yes, hashtag essential worker. Front line. Love it. And no one else was really in the office. So we have a car park downstairs and it was just empty. And I was like, well, usually I park five minutes around the corner at Sky City. And I was thinking, oh, well, I can just park underneath because no one's here. Now, this is a car park usually reserved for, you know, the likes of Mike Hosking, Newstalk ZB host, the CEO, the executive team. And water people. You know, there's not many car parks in the car park usually reserved for, you know, the likes of Mike Hosking, Newstalk ZB host, the CEO, the executive.

And water people. The big bangers. There's not many car parks in the car park. No, no. But the important people get car parks. Yes. And so I started parking. There are a few visitors' car parks.

I started parking in there. And every day I drove to work and then level two happened and then level one happened. And I was like, these car parks are starting to fill up, but I'm still going in this visitor's car park. Still to this day, and I really hope, you know, the big dogs aren't listening, but they probably are, and I'm probably going to get kicked out soon.

But yeah, I've been parking in the visitor's car park below, and I haven't got towed. Meanwhile, Ben and me are out here on the streets with the people. Every morning I get urinated on by a homeless man. Every morning. My pants are soaking. I almost get out of the car now and just hold my legs out for him. Just because it's part of the morning

routine. Moving our car so we don't get tickets. You know, all sorts of things. Juju's down there. Her Toyota Starlet's in there with the Maseratis. I literally park next to Mike Hosking every day and I'm like, he's got a new car today. How bougie. Alright, 0800 this is what we want to throw out there this morning.

4487 on the text. What are you getting away with that your work doesn't know about? Now, maybe this is your new work if you want to be gutsy like Producer Junior. Or maybe it's your old work that you got away with something for a while. Like a guy that I know that he's actually still doing it at the moment. He's overseas working for a big banking corporation and they pay for his accommodation. He's been there for 800 days. They think he's in the moment. He's overseas working for a big banking corporation. And they pay for his accommodation. He's been there for 800 days.

They think he's in an apartment. He's in a hotel. They've been paying 800 days of a hotel. He's like in permanent quarantine. Yeah, so there you go. So just like that, what does your work or your old work, what didn't they know about? Let's go to Palmy.

Steph, you're on New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you? I'm good, thanks, guys. How are you? Good. Bloody good to have you on, thanks. Guys, how are you? We're good. Bloody good to have you on, mate. What doesn't your work know about? Well, for the past couple of years,

probably about once a week, I take a couple of bottles of milk out of the staff fridge. Yeah, workplace there, baby. I imagine that gets done quite a lot around businesses around New Zealand. Jono, you seem like the sort of person that would do that. Oh, yeah. I'll make note. I haven't stolen anything from this workplace.

Didn't you almost take a water cooler many years ago? Yeah, I did. Yeah, from the old workplace. It was a different time in my life where I thought I could sell water coolers on the black market, but it turns out there wasn't much need for them. Plus, the old work... I dumped so much rubbish at our old workplace.

Every day you'd have your car full of something. But dumping rubbish is the bane of my life. You need to start recycling better. You're like, yeah, you always have got so much rubbish. I don't know. Excess of rubbish. You got told off once. I remember we were filming outside the back of a store.

Yeah. They're like, you're dumping. Well, she said it was worse than dumping animals. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I was outside. I saw their waste management bin and I was just waiting for the work team to turn up. And so I just started dumping stuff in the waste management. I've just got a lot of stuff to dump.

And then the lady came out the back of her shop. She's like, you're a monster. This is worse than dumping animals. And it's not. No. And it was the wrong time to question that with her too. And I did. And I was like, really?

Worse than dumping animals? Come on. And that only inflamed the situation, which wasn't too good. Steph, thank you so much for your call. You have a wonderful day. Thank you, guys. Sorry about our weird dumping thing here.

You keep stealing that milk, Steph. Keep those bones healthy and strong with calcium. Charlotte, how are you? I'm good, thanks. How are you guys? We're good. What have you been getting away with that your work doesn't know about? Well, so I left my job about three years ago now,

and they're still paying for my phone bill, but I've got no idea. Oh, so good. That is so good. You must be like, oh, one day they're still paying for my phone bill but I've got no idea. Oh, so good. That is so good. You must be like, oh, one day they're going to find out. Oh, I don't know. Playing the fire a bit, we'll see. Making calls on borrowed time. But you imagine how many people have changed positions

in management since you left. It's just, it's fallen between the cracks. You've got a phone for life now. Well done. Alright, we'll end on that awkward silence there Hey thank you Charlotte Love your work Thank you You have a great day

New Zealand's breakfast Just don't eat them They're chewy It's Jono and Battle the Hits Hey just to talk about what you were getting away with That your work doesn't know about Someone texted in 4487 I send all of my Trade Me sales

Via the work post room. Free postage. Oh, that is so good. You're one that, you did that at our old business, didn't you? Couriers. Yeah, couriers. Yeah, couriers. Not just postage, couriers.

High-end couriers. The most expensive couriers you could imagine. And I just send them down the road. Just for a laugh. It's time for our brand new game show. Well, you don't call us. We call you. It's called Don't call us. We call you. It's called Don't Call Us.

We call you. Basically, it's where we ambush people not expecting our call and we surprise them with a game show with the world's easiest questions. Let's do it. Hello? Uh-oh. Who's this? Memory.

Oh, you know, I'm going to play you this music and you'll know what this means. Good morning. I know what this means. What's that good morning, Memory? Do you know what that means? Yes. What does it mean?

It means I won. Well, you have won something. You've just got to answer four quick questions and you can win $40 hell pizza. Okay. Do you know this is Jono and Ben from The Hits here? Yes. Good morning.

I'm quite surprised that you actually knew. We're doing that as a gag. It makes the radio show sound very popular. It does. It makes it sound like people are listening. Well, you know, because I used to watch your guys' show, you see. Oh, well, listen. We'll chop this up and put it in a promo. It'll make the show seem popular beyond It does. It makes it sound like people are listening. Well, you know, because I used to watch your guys' show, you see. Oh, well, listen, we'll chop this up and put it in a promo. It'll make the show seem popular beyond its years.

This is Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. It's just like The Chaser with less IQ. So I'm going to ask you four questions. If you get all four right, you start your day with $40 worth of hell pizza. Woo-hoo! Okay, David Seymour is the leader of which political party? A. Yes. Spall. A? You just can leader of which political party? A. Yes.

Spall. A? You just can't say. I just said A. Yes. Correct. Correct. Well done.

I love that. Get it in before the options. Okay, I'll give it to you. It's A. Dick Frizzell is a famous what? A. She's waiting for Dick Frizzell is a famous what? A. She's waiting for it now. Con artist.

B. Rap artist or C. Artist. B? A famous rap artist. Dick Frizzell. No. No.

He was an artist. Oh, that's all right. You've lost 10 bucks, but we'll keep going. What is the name of Dr. Dre's company? Is it A, Prescriptions by Dr. Dre, B, Beats by Dr. Dre, or C, Implants by Dr. Dre? B!

B, well done. She's back if she's back. If I was doing planks, lunges, and burpees, what would I be doing? A, hating life, B, working out or C, both of the above? Oh my God.

C? Yeah, well done. Yeah, yeah. That was anyone. Any one of those answers would have worked fine. Thanks to Hell Pizza. You've got,

I'm going to give you $40. It's just easier for our admin. Your $40 is all coming your way. Yay, cool. You're a great sport. You have a great day. You too, thanks. coming your way. Yay! Cool. You're a great sport. You have a great day. You too. Thank you.

Hold the line. We'll grab your details. All thanks to Hell Pizza. Try their plant-based chorizo on any pizza right now at hell.co.nz. Can I just say,

when he says, we'll grab your details, he's never once grabbed details. He hands them on to... So I said, but I was helping out with the admin.

We'll grab your details as if you're at the coal face. Yeah, I know. You've got people. I'm not. Producer Juliette's now working on that right now. You have a great day.

Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hips. Shocking weather all over the country, and that's when many stations aren't out and about, but not us, because we are the... The year's commercial radio stations have claimed to be your official summer station. Your summer radio station.

But no station in the history of radio has ever claimed to be the official station of the most miserable time of year. Until now. The Hits is now officially your official winter station. But like Jono in a shower, it's wet and depressing. It's dark outside and even darker on the radio with your official winter station, The Hits. That's right, we are your official winter station. We need to lay claim to something.

The summer market, very crowded. We were trying to be the official COVID station. I was outvoted on that one. Yeah, no. The official station for alcoholics. Ben was like, oh, no, we can't promote ourselves with that. So we're locked in winter. Yeah, it. The official station for alcoholics. Ben was like, oh no, we can't promote ourselves with that. So we're locked in winter.

Yeah, it's our time to talk about winter. Everyone loves talking about how cold it is in winter. It's like it's a surprise that every year it gets cold. This is one of the coldest days of 2020 so far.

Oh, some negative temperatures but Wellington seems to be hit pretty hard by some strong winds and rough seas across the Cook Strait. So we're going to go to Hayley who does the day show in Wellington.

Yeah, you're about to start on air at nine o'clock, Hayley. Welcome. Hello. Thanks, guys. Now, I just, just awkwardly, when you say I'm out and about, yeah, no, not just comfortably sitting in a heated studio. You're inside and comfortable. Your role was to be out and or about.

No, no, you guys don't pay me enough to stand out there and 120k win. Well, that's what they do on the news, on breakfast. We're just watching. They see all the reporters out there and the conditions. Yeah, but they get given those little swanky raincoats. You gave me nothing. You gave me a face mask. In all honesty, it feels like we have 900 Hits puffer jackets

hanging on a coat rack out there. We do. I can see them out there. And they should be in better parts of the country. Yeah. Not singing. Exactly. Yeah, no.

Well, there we go. It's quite a delicate balance on that coat rack because you take one over and the balance gets off, so they need to be all on there, I think, Jono. And it's important that all of those jackets stay here and not go to the colder regions of the country. And you guys have all the beanies as well. We've been asking for them for about two years.

All right, hang up on Hayley. You can catch Hayley from 90.1 here in Wellington. Love your work, Hayley. Good on you, mate. Thank you so much. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram.

Scrolling through your head. Stop there. What did you say? Nothing. I think I said it. You mumbled something and it felt like a... I'm your friend. Oh, thank you. Thank you say? Nothing. I think I said it. You mumbled something and it felt like a... I'm your friend. Oh, thank you.

Thank you, JJ. I'm your friend, mate. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm just a friend you get paid to hang out with. Now we are scrolling through your feed, all the things that have happened over the last 24 hours, and Benny, New Zealand's pop star of the moment,

and she's doing so well. Not only did she play on Jimmy Fallon a couple of weeks ago, well, today she's playing on Ellen's show. How's that? And all from the comfort of her living room, I noticed, as well, because can't fly to America, obviously. Yeah. So she doesn't have to go anywhere.

She's taking over the world from probably her flat, her skungy flat that she lives in, like all Kiwi musicians, but she's a good sort. She's so level-headed for a young person. I know. She's blowing up big on TikTok. She's blowing up big all over the world. We actually spoke to her a couple of weeks ago.

She's too good for the show, so I don't know why she came in, but we spoke to her about her old job. She used to work at a pizza place, and did they ever ask her to come back and work now that she's a big star? Now, you used to make pizza. Did you work in a pizzeria? Yeah. But not very well, you said, right?

Eppolitos. Well, I mean, I couldn't, like, flip them or anything. Have they tried to call you back for a shift now that you're, like... Actually, she did. She was like, we need help this weekend. I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm on Jimmy Fallon.

No. No. So catch Benny on Ellen today. I'm not sure if it's on New Zealand TV today, but I'm sure it'll be all over the internet. Yeah, it's great with Benny. What we do, what we tend to do historically through our careers is you get them when they're on the way up,

and we'll get them when they're on the way down. Yeah. So we've lost her now. No, she's gone. We'll never get her back again, and that's fine. I'm at peace with that. But if she makes a slippery slide in, say, 20 years' time, and we're still around, which we probably won't be, we'll...

We'll take her. Yeah. We'll take her. That's when we get them back. But good luck to you, Betty, for the next 20 years. We wish you all the success. You can delete our contact details. New Zealand also waking up to freezing temperatures around the country.

High winds and snow all over the North Island, really, but particularly around the Taupo, Taihapi region. Negative degrees this morning in some of those places. Freeze the nuts off a steel bridge, wouldn't it? Which you're right.

Desert Road closed. They reckon it's going to be closed until about one o'clock today. Yesterday, the Cook Strait was also closed as well. So close. Well, the ferries didn't go on. It's not like they put up a big close sign.

They put out orange road cones out in the middle just so you know. You're like, oh, I can't go over there. There's some poor bugger out there with a stop-go sign. But we are the station and the show right now that we want to embrace winter. Yeah, because everyone claims to be your official summer station, and yeah, I won't argue. That's a fun time of year to lay claim to. But there's an open market, open slather for the winter.

The winter game for radio stations. The year's commercial radio stations have claimed to be your official summer station. Your summer radio station. But no station in the history of radio has ever claimed to be the official station of the most miserable time of year. Until now. The Hits is now officially your official winter station.

But like Jono in a shower, it's wet and depressing. It's dark outside and even darker on the radio with your official winter station, The Hits. I thought it was safe to cry in the shower because the shower hid my tears, but clearly not. The promo guy's been watching me. Yeah, so stay warm, New Zealand, today. It is cold out there.

On your official winter station. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on The Hits. I forgot to say, you say we're over halfway through the year. Of course. So this year has been a tough year. What's going on? Jono and Ben on the hats I forgot to say you say we're over halfway through the year of course so this year this year's been a tough year what's going on

well there's been a lot of stuff going on so well done we've got to over halfway yeah so that's nice it is really it's gone quick

it's good when stuff happens because it makes stuff go quicker some of the stuff yeah I don't know I'd love another pandemic makes time go quicker I don't know yeah

hey uh that's a bad thing to be pro--pandemic, isn't it? Yeah, no. It's a controversial stance to have. Reception, reception. This is what we do on New Zealand's Breakfast Year. Once a week we do this where we use other companies' receptions

and we leave a message with them. And then, Ben, you try and retrieve the message to see if the receptionist will pass it on. And so now we send you to the soundproof booth. Okay? Okay. Get out of here. What do you think about in the soundproof booth?

It's nice. It's nice. It's quite quiet. But what do you think about when you're in there? Oh, what do I think about? Yeah. What do I think about the booth? No one's going to hear any of this anyway.

I'm way off. So now Ben's out of the studio. We'll go through to main freight. See if they'll take a message. Welcome to Main Freight Palmerston North. You're speaking with Amber. Hi Amber. How's it going? Good, thank you. How are you? Yeah, no, I'm doing well, thank you.

Listen, I was just going to leave a message for Ben if that's alright. If you can just take a quick note. For Ben? Yeah. He gave me this number. He said leave a message with you, Amber, and when he calls you'll be able to pass it on. Ben? I'm He gave me this number. He said, leave a message with you, Amber, and when he calls you, you'll be able to pass it on. Ben? I'm not sure who Ben is. Well, I'm actually his doctor,

and I had a note to pass on, so I can't patient confidentiality. I can't give his last name. But he gave me this number. He said, if you leave a message with Amber, he will then call you, and you'll be able to pass the message on. But you've rung Mainfraid

and you're going to share his information with me? Yeah, yeah. Is that alright? What is it? Well, if you could just take this down. He sent me a photo of it. He sent me a photo of it and no, it's not meant to be that inflamed. Oh, okay. And if you also could just tell him, if the

ointment hasn't worked in two days and he still can't sit down, he will need to come and see me again. Okay. I'll pass that on, but yeah, I'm not sure. Hey, thanks. Thanks, Amber. You are a hero. Alright, not a problem. What a lovely lady. Thank you. You have a wonderful day. There was Dr. J, by the way.

Alright, cool. Okay. Thank you. Bye. Thanks. Ben, back in from the booth. From your dark, dark thoughts in your head, welcome back in. Alright. Okay, now Dr. J was my name. Oh no, so you made a doctor's thing now, okay. And we'll dial back through. Hopefully Amber. Amber? Okay, Amber. Alright.

Amber. Welcome to Main Freight Palmerston North, you're speaking with Amber. Oh hi Amber, my name's Ben. Hi. Hi. Yeah, hi, Amber. My name's Ben. Hi. Hi. Yeah, are you the one, has Dr. this rung? Your doctor this rung?

Maybe, yeah. I don't know why I gave him his number to my doctor. Yeah, what is the message that might have left? Is there a message for me? Yeah. So I assumed it was one of our store men. Right. Because we've got a store man, Ben. Oh, sorry, it's not.

It's me. It's, yeah, I don't actually work for you guys. I work in radio, but anyway. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, he just said, ring this number and someone's got a message for me. Yeah, so it's...

Yeah. If you're not able to sit down... Yeah. If you're not able to sit down... Yeah, if I'm not able to sit down, because I'm standing right now, so yeah. Yeah, you'll have to go back and see him. Okay. Yeah, and if the oinkment hasn't worked. Okay, I don't know why I'm laughing. Sorry, this just seems really bizarre. No, no, fair enough. It's all right. It's unusual the way we get messages to people these days.

Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so don't sit down. Go back and see. Anything else? No, just not meant to be that inflamed. If Oikman hasn't worked in two days and still can't sit down, go and see the doctor again. Amber, you're amazing.

It's Jono and Ben calling for the Hits Radio station. Hi. Amber, we play a game called Reception, Reception to see if a wonderful receptionist such as yourself will pass on a message. I haven't, he hasn't been passed on any messages from

an actual doctor. Okay, that's good. That's good to know. And he's sitting down right now. I am actually sitting down uncomfortably too, so you know, Amber. And I can vouch it's certainly not that inflamed at all.

No. Okay. And I put the cream on myself. He does. I don't know why he does that, but anyway. Amber, you're a great sport. We thank you for your time.

Hold the line. We'll find something for you buddy alright love your work Amber okay she was awesome she was great

not a morning person sadly neither of these two it's Jono and Ben on the hits okay now what I am about to say maybe deems

you know I might divide people divide the audience you'll probably have a firm opinion on it Ben right one way or the other but little

tiny old ladies... Stop. Stop. Do you want to carry on with this? Oh, yes, I'd like to. Little tiny old ladies in tiny little Toyota cars, like the Spackios and things like that, are ruthless on the road.

Ruthless. They'll just pull out without looking, reverse out of a car park, and you're just required to stop. You just have to deal with it, right? And then wait for them to do a 29-point turn. It'll take 25, add 25 minutes to your journey. I love how low they sit.

Boy races in there. You can't even see them over the headrest. They're just sitting low, low riding. And they're just cashing in on the fact that they're sweet and old, that all the other motorists will go, oh, okay, I'll ignore this. I'll ignore this. Well, I guess you get to that stage where you're closer to the finish line, you've got less to look.

You just pull out. I'll give it a go, see what happens. This is the way I go, this is the way I go. What's the point? What does it matter? She died doing what she loved, backing out of a countdown car park. Out of 100 miles an hour.

What would you be if you were a car? What would Ben Boyce be? You'd be like a sleek looking black jag or something, wouldn't you? I don't think I'd be something, I don't think I'd be anything cool, really. Maybe like a Prius. A quiet, timid little Prius.

He sneaks up on you. G'day, guys. Just trying to do my best. Trying to save the environment. The funniest old lady story there, I think I've told you this before, Jono, but our old neighbour in Masterton, so she had to get, she was in her 80s,

she had to get her licence because her eyes were starting to fail. So she went to the optometrist, failed the test, was all really annoyed about it and went So she went to the optometrist, failed the test, was all really annoyed about it and went to back out of the optometrist in a hurry, probably like the old lady there. Yeah, just reverse out, what's there to live for? But put her to drive

instead and went through the window of the optometrist. That is so ironic. And on the way there she just bought some alcohol for a week too and that all smashed. So when the police arrived her car stunk of alcohol. She was sober but she just drove in straight through the optometrist but this is the thing she sweetened out I bet there were no

repercussions I was like oh sweet old lady just reverse out of here and get on your way drive 15 kilometres an hour home there we go well there we go just watch out for the old ladies on the road yeah does that not watch out for you like starting your day without your

morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling every town or place in New Zealand. We're doing it one a day. We're doing it alphabetically. It's going to take us over two years and we're still about seven, eight weeks probably and we're still in the B's of New Zealand.

Who invented the alphabet and why did they make it so long? That's my question. Well, yeah. Who did come up with the alphabet? The Egyptians, apparently. Based on the idea developed by the Egyptians was the alphabet. People that lived near Egypt, the Semitic people living near Egypt, apparently, saw what the Egyptians were doing and were like,

hey, we can do our version. And that's how the alphabet began. Apparently. Oh, that was some wonderful on-the-spot research there, Ben. Yeah, so I hope I got that right. Apologies if I didn't. If you didn't, I don't care because you said it with such confidence. But today we're going through, as we call every town and city in New Zealand, to Burnt Hill.

Burnt Hill is part of the Waimakariri District. It's named after a very small extinct volcano that resides in the township's southeast corner, the Burnt Hill. Isn't it Burnt Hill Vodka? I don't know if there's any correlation, but you'd know that, old boozy McGee pants. There you go, New Zealand's premium vodka.

It's from Burnt Hill. According to this. We're going through to Burnt Hill. You know there's not much to do in Burnt Hill when there's literally only one number you can call. Going through to... Hello, Jan speaking. Hello, Jan speaking.

It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh, hello. How are you? Jan, Jan, we understand you're a Burnt Hill local legend. No, not me. Okay, we've got the wrong... It's the wrong Jan. Sorry.

Sorry, I don't even know what you're talking about. No, not me. Okay, we've got the wrong... It's the wrong Jan. Sorry. I don't even know what you're talking about. You sold a house recently we just saw online for Burnt Hill? In Burnt Hill? I sold two houses there. Two houses there. Oh, two houses. So sell us on Burnt Hill. Why would we want to go to Burnt Hill?

Good property prices. Good property prices? Quite affordable. Affordable, yep. Your caption was, enjoy the good life for the house that you sold. So the good life must be at Burns Hill. There's, if you like, lifestyle and animals and lots of green open spaces. So it's basically nothing.

An area of nothing. But that's if you enjoy the good life. Yeah, people are always... It depends what you're after. Yeah, don't... Anyone's after different things in life. Yeah, it looks really nice and peaceful there. Sorry, just going back to the office.

Oh, Jan, how's the market nowadays, Jan? We're very busy at the moment. Oh, it's picking back up? Home buyers and investors. Time to sell or buy at the moment, Jan? I'd say it's a buyer's market at the moment. Oh, it's picking back up. Just home buyers and investors. Time to sell or buy at the moment, Jan? I'd say it's a buyer's market. Oh, it's a buyer's market. How's your indoor-outdoor flow, Jan?

It's very good. As much as it's been lovely talking to you, I've got to fly. I've got one more question. Is it an entertainer's paradise? It depends on what you're buying. Entertainer's delight.

I love the ones with their're Entertainer's Delight. I'm like, oh, that looks good, doesn't it? Yep, absolutely. And I tell you what, you've been an absolute delight, Jan. I'd let you entertain me any day of the week. Nice talking to you. Well done on selling two houses in Burnt Hill. Thank you very much.

You must have come back to the office and high-fived everyone that day. Okay, then. Okay, Jan's wrapping us day. Okay, then. See you, mate. Nice talking to you. See you. Jan from the Baileys, real estate agent. Who sold two houses in Burnt Hill. A while ago, but she did a great job, and she was great to talk to. So there you go.

Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, help support Plunkett families in need at the most through Pledge for Plunkett. The hits, we're all getting behind this tomorrow, aren't we, Jono? Yeah, because we love babies. And if you don't love babies, you are a monster. That's true.

Who doesn't love babies? Well, I don't know. No, you don't. I mean, you do. I do. You love babies. Don't say I don't, because I do. And that's why we're helping support Plunkett tomorrow.

Go to grabone.co.nz if you want to get your support in early. There's some great stuff to help out Kiwi families on there, grabone.co.nz if you want to get your support in early. There's some great stuff to help out Kiwi families on there, grabone.co.nz. If you want more info, text 4487. That's our number. Text PLUNKET to 4487. You know, my father-in-law, John, never changed a nappy. Never changed a nappy.

That was the old school. And, like, when their wife was in labour, it was almost an inconvenience for them to have to leave the pub. Oh, I'm with the boys. Having a couple of jars. Let me know when it's done. But, you know, it was a different time. Actually, I've had a few.

You might have to drive me home. Yeah. It was a different time, wasn't it? Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. But it's the time that Ben wishes came back, isn't it? Your misogynistic ways. No, I'm only joking. Hey, man. Hey, welcome to Spy.

This is producer Juliette who has been up all night scouring the internet fresh from shoving her hand inside the gossip trough. What have we got, Juju? So Sia, at the age of 44, has become a grandmother

as one of her two sons welcomes two babies. Now, she adopted someone last year. Yeah, she adopted both of her sons sons welcomes two babies. Oh, now she adopted someone last year. Yeah, she adopted both of her sons. They were 18 at the time, so they're 19 now. And one of them has just had two kids. So she's 44 and she's a nana. That's a young grandma. Yeah.

I don't know if you get a younger grandma. 4487 if you're younger than Sia as a grandmother. Yeah, true. Only four years old. She seems to be photographed a lot more now because it was the time you never saw her face, right? She did the backwards wig. Yeah, and she was always wearing a wig. It seems like she's okay to be out in public now.

I think she was trying to keep herself quite private. Now, obviously, she's okay with it. It was a nightmare. She just kept walking into lampposts and stuff. It was an absolute nightmare. I've always wondered that. I was like, how are you navigating your way around? Yeah, that's a good point. See, of course, they've got cheap thrills.

A lot of people think it says, I love sheep tails. That's the internet at the end of it. Wow, I'm going to play that again. Sheep tails. Oh, when you hear it. That's the New Zealand version. Yeah. I love Sheetals.

The New Zealand remix. The docking season on the farm. Love it. And Kim Kardashian, she has been slammed online by an old employee. Not online. Oh, my, damn it. People are making fun of the Kardashians, aren't they? It's a rare thing.

So by an old employee who struggled to buy food due to low pay. So Kim posted a photo of her daughter North's brand new horse and then said they have 13 other horses on their ranch. And this lady replied saying, I had to buy groceries at the 99 cent store, only store, when I worked as an editor for the Kardashian-Jenner official apps, Loveheart, passive aggressive Loveheart. And I got reprimanded for freelancing on the side. How do you know it's a passive aggressive Loveheart, Passive Aggressive Loveheart. Ina got reprimanded for

freelancing on the side. How do you know it's a Passive Aggressive Loveheart? No, she's millennial. She knows when it's a Passive Aggressive Loveheart. It's the lingo. And then someone else replied saying they had me do a 10-page edit test on Christmas Eve and then ghosted me. So, you wouldn't want to work for the Kardashians, would you? I probably would, to be honest.

Yeah, I would. You would? Yeah, I would. I think it'd be local. What would you like to do for them? What skills do you have that the Kardashians would you? I probably would to be honest. Yeah I would. You would? Yeah I would. I think it'd be local. What would you like to do for them? What skills do you have that the Kardashians would want? I could laugh along

at jokes that aren't funny. I could be morale you know that's what I do every morning. Oh he's a morale guy. You know that's me. I could do that

I could say some stuff I could laugh away. They've had a couple of shockers. I remember when they were first on the scene because what's the mum's name?

Chris. Chris Jenner names all her kids with a K at the beginning, and they had Chloe, Courtney, and Kim, and they had their makeup line KKK for a while there. Kagan, at no point, there was many stages they went through to get their marketing out there. At no point did any one of their many underplayed employees

say, hey, this could be quite damaging to the KKK brand. No, it also, their brand, anyway, yeah, yeah. And that is just by Entertainment News. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. What we do on this radio show is we just throw stuff at the wall and we see what sticks.

You threw this out there. Yeah, and Jesus. You're like, I might mention this as a text. And you're like, okay. We'll see what we get. And you got stuff. Juju and Spy just said that Sia at 44 has become a grandma.

And I was like, I think we'd struggle to find a younger grandma. Boy, that was a challenge accepted, bald idiot. Yeah. And the text has been flowing through. We'll go to Leon who's... Sorry, Michelle who's in Whangarei. Welcome, Michelle.

Good morning. Morning to you, Morena. How's it going in Whangarei this morning? It's cold, I suppose, like everywhere else in New Zealand. Yeah, it is chilly, isn't it? Being bush, I can see his nipples through his jacket. He's doing things to me. Anyway, I won't reflect on that.

It makes stuff weird, won't it? We're looking for the youngest grandma in New Zealand. How old in your family? I was 38 when I became a nanny, a proud nanny at that too. Six years younger than Sia. Congratulations. Were you happy to be a nanny? Absolutely.

Every birth is a blessing. It is a blessing. And that's right. As a grandparent, you don't have to do any of the heavy lifting or the admin. You come in. You're a high-impact player. You are. You're off the bench.

Do the gifts. Do some playing. Hype them up. Leave the house. Yeah. Absolutely. But I don't mind babysitting where I can. Oh, good on you, Michelle.

What a lovely... I bet you'd be a great grandma. I wish... You know what I wish? I could be reborn and that you were my grandma. It's getting weird now, Michelle. Anyway, have a great day, Michelle. Thank you for your call.

Thank you. Bye-bye. All the best. Yeah, Leon. Leon, how old were you when you became a grandma, Leon? I'm definitely not a grandma. Right. Okay, okay.

Want to make that clear. However, my grandma was 36 when I was born. Oh, okay. Want to make that clear. However, my grandma was 36 when I was born. Oh, wow. Yeah. 36. Yeah. Wow. How old was your mum at the time?

18. 18, right. And my mum gave birth at 18. Yeah, I imagine that having a young mum and a young grandma, they would probably be obviously mum and a young grandma, they would probably be obviously your parents and your grandma, but you'd have quite a good relationship with them. I imagine almost sort of friend-like.

Oh, definitely. And all my uncles and aunties are like a sibling as well because of the age. You know, we're so close in age. Yeah. You know? It's good. I'm glad you're happy. I'm glad. You know what we're so close in age. Yeah. You know? No, it's good. I'm glad you're happy. I'm glad, you know what?

I'm just glad everyone's happy. That's all I want to get out of the bed in the morning. The old you would be like this, but I like this new you, Jono. The family-friendly Jono. Everyone just needs to be happy. Okay, good on you, Leon. You look after yourself, mate.

Thank you so much for listening. Thank you. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, thanks to Destination New South Wales. Thank you. trips right now. These are amazing. They are phenomenal trips and a hell of an experience that I don't think anyone would pay for themselves. You're right. You never get to do these things in most people's lifetimes. So thanks a lot to Destination New South Wales. They can't

wait to see you. And let's give someone a call right now who's going to win the outdoorsy couple. Yesterday we gave away the holistic. The ones who are in touch with their over reasoned things on the inside. Yeah, okay. And then we did the foodie couple the day before.

We've done the adventurous couple. Hello, Kayleigh speaking. Hello. Hello, who is this? You're late for work. Where are you? We've got a meeting. We've got a meeting.

Everyone's waiting for you. We're talking through the end of year sales figures. Oh, you're going to be in by now. There's two of us on the phone, by the way. We're all here. Oh, my God. Is this Jono and Ben? It is Jono and Ben from the hoods. Oh, you're going to be in by now. There's two of us on the phone, by the way. We're all here. Oh my God. Is this Jono and Ben? It is Jono and Ben

from the Huts. Oh my God. I'm like starstruck over the phone right now. Well, we're ringing to tell you that you have won a trip to New South Wales. Oh my God.

That's awesome. It's really awesome. You're the outdoorsy couple. So you're going to spend, I'll talk you through, you're going to spend a night at Steel Point Cottage in Sydney Harbour National Park. So it's perched on the edge of a cliff.

You're surrounded by views of the city. From there, you're going to travel to the breathtaking, beautiful Blue Mountains. You're going to explore that with bushwalking, stunning waterfalls. And then you'll spend two nights at the elegant Hydro Majestic, a perfect place you can experience the whole region. So how about that? Oh, that is so amazing. You've just absolutely made my day my whole region. So how about that? Oh, that is so amazing. You've just absolutely made my day my whole year.

It's nice when it's cold and horrible in New Zealand. You can think that at some stage you're going to enjoy that trip. Oh, finally when the borders open, that will be amazing. You'll love it. By the way, you are quite late for that meeting too. Your boss is howling. Sorry, I'm already at work.

I am the boss. I am the boss. Okay, that didn't work then. Sorry, I'm already at work. I'm already at work. I am the boss. I am the boss. You are the boss. Yeah. Okay, that didn't work then. Oh, that backfired. Yeah. Well, well done.

Enjoy that trip. I will. Thank you so, so much, guys. Have a great day. And have a good day. Yeah, you too. Thanks for listening to the show, mate. Really appreciate it.

There is one more trip to give away. Register right now at the hitstock.com. That's for the Metro couple tomorrow. It's thanks to Destination New South Wales. You can visit their website. Visit nsw.com. Next, we are going to go and get a coffee because that's what we do at night.

Yeah, let's go get next. And move our cars. Move our cars. But we'll be back tomorrow for six. Big show. Raising money for Plunkett. Yeah, pledge for Plunkett. It's all happening tomorrow.

So why don't you join us from six o'clock? It'll be a fun Friday. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from six on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app.