Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - July 03 - Pledge For Plunket 2020

Episode Date: July 3, 2020

Kia Ora podcasters! Today was Pledge for Plunket day at The Hits - where we try and raise money for Plunket so they can keep doing the epic work they do for families and babies in New Zealand. To celebrate, Jono dressed in a nappy (see the pics on our social media @thehitsbreakfast) and Ben had to call our CEO and speak to him in a baby voice... It was weird! We also threw it out there to see if we could get anyone on who had been bitten by either a snake, shark or croc and we had some good stories. All that & more on today's podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are we rolling? Yeah. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. This is Julia. This is a podcast intro. We've just been told something.

Just as we're about to start. Oh, God, now my dad's calling. Answer your dad's. Put him on speaker for the podcast. Hang on, I'm in the podcast intro. Put him on speaker. Sorry, Dad, I'll call you back in two minutes. Okay, bye.

Okay. What does your dad want? I don't know. I just said I'd call him back in two minutes. So we're in the podcast intro. Put him in speaker. Sorry, Dad, I'll call you back in two minutes. Okay, bye. What did your dad want? I don't know. I just said I'd call him back in two minutes. We're in the podcast intro. Put him in the podcast intro. Well, I did. We've already got too many people in the podcast intro.

Producer Juliet's coming. Hello, hello, hello. How are you? No, the podcast intro for me is not my favourite part of the podcast. I always find that we waffle on too much. I just want to get into it. But every day I take part because I'm a team player. But now you've said something, you've thrown me. Just moments before going on the much, you know, I just want to get into it. But every day I take part because I'm a team player. But now you've said something, you've thrown me.

Just moments before going on the podcast intro, you've said what? So basically Al, who edits together the podcast. Al's here, come in here Al. Oh Al, come on in. It's an open forum. So we've done something else wrong with the podcast intro. What have I done? So I just told Jono to re-record over the little podcast intro file thing that we've got

so that Alan can find it easily each day. I was recording them into separate things. It was making the... Hard. Very hard. Hard to find the podcast intro. I did spend half an hour looking for it every day. There we go.

Who's calling now? I'm with a bunch of professionals. Yeah, I should put my phone on silent. But anyway, okay. There's so much going on. I can't take all this in. I know. We've got interviews.

We've got Alan, Julie. Your phone's going. You've spoken to your dad. Who was that calling? It was my wife. Oh. Yeah. You're in hot demand.

Wowee. I tell you what. I've set it up already. Let's get into the podcast. The podcast hasn't even started. Make sure you save it in the right place. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Of course, today we're doing Pledge for Plunkett, supporting a fantastic organisation that offers free services to Kiwi families around New Zealand. And joining us on the phone right now, Jono. We've got Nin Roberts, the partnership and brand manager from Plunkett and head of fundraising, Kevin Broome. It's a conference call, four-way conversation going on. Welcome to the Pledge for Plunkett and head of fundraising, Kevin Broome. It's a conference call, four-way conversation going on. Welcome to the Pledge for Plunkett day.

Thank you. Hi there, champs. I really started strong there and lost breath. I lost quite a lot of breath. He did, actually. But you're quite excited about it. As are we. We're quite excited about today because we're hoping to raise a lot of money for your charity.

Look, we're really excited too. I think this is the third year we've been running Pledge for Plunkett and it's nice to have you guys leading, you're starting the race, I suppose, in terms of the day ahead. And yeah, it'd be really interesting to see where we're at at six o'clock later on this afternoon.

Now, Kevin, just tell us, you know, what is, for those that maybe don't know the intricate details about what Plunkett does and day-to-day, what do they do, mate? Oh, thanks. Yeah, so we offer a sort of the well child run the well child services for children from sort of zero to five years which is a sort of a check-in seven times over those five years and then the work that Nin and I do is really in the community service area so things like parenting education courses, toy libraries, coffee groups.

They wrap around the sort of health checks to provide a full service model. It's an amazing free service that you guys do provide for Kiwi families and Kiwi parents. It's a pretty unique service. It's a service that is not only our clinical checks and our community checks but we also have Plunkett Line which is 24-7 as well which I'm sure you may have called, John and Ben, during your time as parents. Yeah, many panic calls. When you first have a baby, you're like,

oh, I'm just doing, you know, I'm doing everything wrong. They're not breathing right. So you panic about everything. You're checking their breathing, you're checking the things, the car seat's put on right, all those things. There's a lot to sort of worry about and get your head around, right? Oh, no, I love babies.

Some of my best friends were babies. That's a fun fact. What do you think for a new parent going in? Heidi, our producer, is just about to give birth in a couple of weeks. We're hoping secretly that she does it on the radio. But she hasn't agreed to that just yet. No, no.

But what, you know, for new parents heading into it, those that haven't given birth, what are the advantages of Plunkett? Right, I guess, you know, it crosses over. So once you've had your baby, then your midwife will then move you across through to a Plunkett nurse. And any time between when baby's born

and the first six weeks, our Plunkett nurses will be in touch. And they'll come along and what they're doing is they're wanting to make sure that you're okay because there's a lot of mums that suffer from postnatal depression so we want to make sure that they're okay with you know with all these changes because it's huge changes in your life and then also making sure that baby's sleeping okay that they're feeding okay and just I guess it's those key essential stuff that you want to make sure that that baby's doing well during that

time and then what we do is then um if they need further support that's when the wraparound services of the community work that we do like our chiapenas or community community health workers will come in and make sure that families are supported um so it really varies depending on what your needs are as a as a first-time parent yeah and i know you mentioned postnatal depression i know a lot of mums actually go through it without even realising they've got it because they're so tired and fatigued from being up all night and stuff.

So that's a very important thing to touch on. Yeah, and I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do everything right. And I think that's the cool thing about Plunkett is that we're there for everyone and we just want to make sure that you're doing okay because it's not easy. There's no handbook that says to us

this is how you raise your baby and so it's a learning on the job kind of thing and it doesn't have to be perfect and I think that's what we try and emphasise when we're out there in the communities talking to families is that you've got to do what's right for you. I think even between having two kids,

you know, what we did for one doesn't necessarily work for the other one. You know, every kid is different. So as a parent, you're like, oh, we did this the first time, but it doesn't necessarily work the second time. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. And it varies too, right?

I mean, I know I was home with my two children and my husband went to work, but, you know, there's dads that even stay at home. So, you know, roles are reversing. So it's a really interesting time for us as Plunkett because sometimes we're dealing with dads, not just mums. Now, Kevin, would you agree with me, the greatest moment in any parent's life

is when your children learn how to use the remote control or operate an iPad. That's when I've checked out of parenting. I think you're absolutely right. You lose complete control. Send them on their way. Let the internet raise them. That's what I say.

Maybe they won't agree with that one, Jono. But in all seriousness, Kevin, so the money we're raising today, what does it go towards for Plunkett? We're looking to raise basically final bundles, which is an extension of the work we've done with the warehouse over the last two years. So essentially the money that we

raised today will continue to help us to provide essential families in those in most need of support. What a fantastic organisation and you can donate all through this morning. Nin Roberts and Kevin Broome from Plunkett, thanks so much for teaming up and thanks

for making us look like better human beings than we actually are and helping you fundraise this morning. You guys are awesome. Thank you. Thanks, guys. That is a fantastic organisation, Plunkett. And if you want to make a pledge for Plunkett,

right now we've got some teleoperators standing by. 0800 90 10 30. 0800 90 10 30. You can go straight through and make a donation. Whatever you want, $10, 20 bucks, 50 bucks, whatever you can manage right now, because I know times are tough, but we really want to get in behind the support blanket this morning.

This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating, still pending. It's Jono and Matt on the hits. The Director General has accepted that the protocol wasn't being followed. He has accepted responsibility for that and has set about putting it right. Now, that was David Clark of course, the famous quote where he

threw Ashley Bloomfield under the bus and David Clark, as of yesterday, has gone. He's resigned, or very confusing when you see this written down. This is my problem, because it's like, is it re-signed or resigned? Because it's written the same way. If someone re-signs for something and they put the headline, it also looks like

David Clark re-signs his health... Oh, you're like, oh, he's doing another year, is he? Yeah. Yeah, true. You could really get that... Always. It really irks me, that one, right? It does.

But the other thing that annoys Ben is ASB, the ASB bank, but it's saying bank twice because you've got Auckland Savings Bank Bank. Yeah. And like TSB, Taranaki Savings Bank Bank. It's like the unnecessary extra... There's a double banking. He doesn't like the double banking. It puts you off your day, doesn't it?

I've ruined your day already. I know. I'm not thinking about this. But Clark was, I think the problem was, is David Clark was tarnishing the Labour Party, much like I do to this radio show. And he was making Jacinda look bad. And no one makes Jacinda look bad.

No. Okay, no one. All right, bad. No. Okay, no one. All right, you hear me? Okay, it's quite threatening, isn't it? It's quite threatening. But it was becoming, to be honest, I think the Labour Party's a bloody shambles apart from Jacinda and Grant Robertson.

What are the rest of them doing? How are they even turning up to work every day? Well, David Clark has resigned, not re-signed. But I reckon the toughest job for Jacinda, one of the things I've witnessed firsthand, is her security. I went to Snow Planet, which is like an indoor snow park one day,

and I turned up and there were cop cars. I was like, ooh, what's going on here? This is quite exciting. Maybe the white stuff isn't snow. Yeah. They've got to call out for some different white powder. Ah, Snow Planet again. We thought we found New Zealand's biggest shipment.

Oh, damn it. Not again. Third time this week. It's just snow. When will we learn? But I went in there and I went tubing with my kids down inside. It's really cold inside there and you're going tubing down there. And Jacinda Ardern was tubing with Clark, her partner,

and I think they were taking a couple of her nieces on the day there, and they were also tubing. But, you know, her security, so there was a security guard standing at the bottom of the slope, standing there with an earpiece in, looking like, trying not to look cold, and another one at the top. I was like, man, that's a tough job. You're standing inside, negative whatever, 10 degrees.

Who's going to go over a snow planet? Who's going to have a crack at a snow planet? I was so nervous not to take out her or the security guard with the tube. I'm like, I don't want to be that guy that comes,

you're like, rah! Was it just you and her in there? No, there were other people as well, but I was very nervous. Why couldn't he just

look through the window? Well, that's what I thought. I'll just wait in the bar. I can see you through the window. But he's standing at the bottom of the snow and another one

up the top as well. They would never not be there, the security. What if Clark and Jacinda are having a couple's discussion of a tense nature? You don't put the forks in that way in the dishwasher. I said down, not up. I cut my hands.

Stuff like that. And the security guard's there. And it's like, what I would do if I was Clark, I'd bring him into it. Greg, what do you think? What do you think? Because you're a guy'd bring him into it. Greg, what do you think? What do you think? Because, you know, you're a guy.

You would get it. And then Greg would go, oh, yeah, I'd put them in down. Yeah, yeah. I'd bring them in. Actually, it wouldn't be a bad thing. You've got a third person to get on your side. I remember we were hosting the Music Awards, and Jacinda Ardern was there on stage during the award.

And one of the security guards was offside the stage just holding her handbag. That's right. We were talking to him. Yeah. Like, is this your main role? He's like, no, not normally, but no, I'm doing it right now. Just the role of a husband. And then he wouldn't let us back on stage until Jacinda had got off.

And we're like, well, we kind of need to get back on there because we're hosting this thing. He's like, no, no, you're going to have to wait. You're like, okay. And you can hold this handbag too for a couple of minutes. We're like, no worries. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits.

Now we've got producer Humphrey in the studio. Yesterday we were just talking about shopping habits. And Ben Humphrey, you have quite an unusual approach to your work wear, Monday to Friday work wear. Yeah, well, I just got so sick of wearing the same clothes day in, day out. So basically I created myself a work uniform. So you don't have to make too many choices in the morning. You know what you're going to wear.

I know exactly what I'm going to wear. And also I can just order it all online and it just turns up and I know it fits. I know it works well. And yeah, so I've got two pair of boots, a black pair and a brown pair. I've got Wrangler jeans and I've got that in every colour they come. The style is stomper, size 30.

So you buy the stompers. How many stompers have you got? Four. Four pairs of stompers. So you'll be wearing one for a couple of days, sort of thing? Yeah. Okay. And then I get the Barker's shirt.

I think it's called the Collins. Right. So you've got stompers and the Collins. Yeah. And then a Marino, Barker's Marino knit jumper. Jockey undies, stance socks. And so this is pretty much your uniform day in, day out during the week. Every day.

Every day. You're like Simon Cowell with his V-neck T-shirt. Yes, he is. He's apparently got like 500 V-neck T-shirts. But I've got different colour combinations. So basically I say, oh, they've brought out a new colour. I'll grab one of those,

put that in the cart. And this is just purely because of the fit of the clothing. You just know it's going to sit well on your body. And I don't have to go to the shop.

I can just order it online and yeah, it's just easy. I don't have to think about it. I like not thinking. And then on the weekend, I get to wear nice clothes on the weekend. I get to, you know,

get dressed up and wear something a bit different. Right. And feel good. I know how you feel because I've worn the same clothes since 1993. You have. You have. And the same holy black T-shirt since 1993. For a guy who got given clothes when we did our TV show,

I don't know where they went to. I still persisted with these clothes. Yeah, he did. My Guns N' Roses T-shirt is being held together by two threads. And it's good just not, you know, you're not having to guess what to wear every day. And that's what I like. And Producer Humphrey, you're a man after my own heart.

Well, he's actually dressing nice, though. He's making an effort for work. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. If you've just joined us, a little bit of a story arc going on this morning

for Pledge for Plunkett. We're raising money today on the hits for Pl you've just joined us, a little bit of a story arc going on this morning for Pledge for Plunkett. We're raising money today on the hits for Plunkett, the wonderful organisation. If you want to donate, 0800 90 10 30 is the telephone number to donate now.

You can just do what you can. Do what you can. And Ben has issued a challenge. If I dress like a baby, nappies, dummy, bottle. Because you look like a big baby. That's what we think. Bib, bib. What disturbs me on this?

Where did you get this from? Like, look sharp or something, did you? Yeah, I definitely went out and shit for that. This seems like the type of heavy lifting you do. Yeah, it's me. I'm always the commitment to this show, you know. The cartoon drawing of the fully grown man on there, it kind of looks like an Elvis impersonator.

It does. With a dummy in his mouth. Looking very suggestive, isn't he? He's very comfortable. I don't know how comfortable you're going to be if we get to, I just thought $100 because I know it's early in the morning, so if we get to $100, I don't know if we're there yet. No.

But on 0800 90 10 30, help me help Plunkett by getting Jono to dress up like a baby. I noticed on this cartoon drawing of this man who's lying on a bed looking very like. You're spending a long time talking about this cartoon. His pictorials are going down to his belly button. You can take it home

if you want. Well, I love that picture. Really, really getting involved. Well, I blame this on you. I didn't buy this. You bought this to the show. Yeah, sorry. Okay, let's go through

to the Plunkett line now and see how close we are. Here we go. It's Harriet out there. We could probably just walk out because we can't see them through a window. Literally. Just figuring out how to answer the phone. Hello, The Hits. Stefan speaking. Oh, Stefan. Welcome. It's

Jono and Ben literally three metres away from you through the window. There we go. Turn around. There we are. How are you, mate? I'm bloody good. How are you? How's the vibe over there? It's great, actually. We've got a bit of chat going on out here it's all go. And Ben wanted an update on his $100 challenge

to make me dress like a baby. Do you think Jono's going to be dressed like a baby before 7 o'clock? Yep I do think he will be. Oh Jono, you hear that? Is that what you wanted to hear Jono? Yeah I did, I've got headphones on But just in case we don't get there Is that what you wanted to hear, Jono? Yeah, I did. I've got headphones on. But just in case we don't get there, 0890 1030,

that's the number. Please, for Plunkett, help out Plunkett. Keep up the great work out there, Stefan. Thanks, mate. Hey, good on you, bud. Save all those credit card details too, buddy. Yeah, I've got them in a spreadsheet down there. Yeah, good on you. You forward those on to me after the show.

This is all a front. No, no. Oh, jeez, no. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Spy. The WhatsApp.

Spy.co.nz. All right. Producer Juliet, fresh from slamming some greasy gossip in the deep fryer, what have we got for Spy? So Paris Hilton, she has set the standard for the most pointless face mask. So she's been paparazzi'd, snapped out in LA wearing a Diamante mesh face mask. So it's completely see-through, no protective wear at all. I saw it.

It looks like a unicorn exploded on her face, like a glittery unicorn. Oh, yeah. So it's mesh, did you say? Yeah, it's like Diamante sort of sewed together on a mesh fabric. I know, it's like, mate, what are you doing? Is it that one or is that another one? That's a different one. Oh, I'm looking at a different one where she's

got like a... It's all colourful. Oh, right, maybe she's got a range of them. Yeah, well she has her own, she's been wearing different ones, but then she also has her own range of face masks with like her like catchy slogans that's hot well stay in your lane Hilton

because we've got our own we've got our own catchy slogan face mask haven't we thanks to kindface.co.nz actually if you want one I think we've still got a few around

hit us up on the hits breakfast just would like to clarify no diamantes no or diamonds or anything attached to this I mean what price

do you put on those quite a lot quite expensive aren't they yeah high demand give them away and I think the other day I mean, what price do you put on those? Quite a lot. Quite expensive, aren't they? Yeah. High demand. We can give them away. And I think the other day or yesterday, I mentioned that Christopher Nolan

apparently didn't allow chairs on set. So Anne Hathaway said that people weren't allowed to sit down because if they're sitting, they're not working. But his team, his people, have come out and said that that's not true. The chairs that Anne was referring to are the director's chairs that Christopher Nolan doesn't like sitting and that people can sit wherever and where never. But the only things that are banned are smoking and phones.

Oh, that's like an airplane. Yeah. He's employing the airplane strategy there. True. Same with Quentin Tarantino, another famous director. He doesn't do cell phones on set. He doesn't even have a cell phone in real life. No, we spoke to Zoe Bell.

Yeah, Zoe Bell, his dear friend and New Zealand stunt woman, Zoe Bell. She said he doesn't check his emails, doesn't have a phone. So he's got someone on set that goes around and collects everyone's cell phones and they'll even charge them. They'll charge them if you're low on battery, but if you're caught with a cell phone, if it goes off

during the scene, that's it, you're fired. Gone. So, yeah. So if anyone doesn't hand in their phone, and if someone, apparently once through one of the movies, I was just reading before, it went off and everyone was like,

uh-oh, uh-oh. Did he go loose? They couldn't find out who it was. That person would have been like, oh my God, it's me, it's me. If that was me, I would put that phone inside my body. I'd like,

I'd squeeze it up somehow. I don't know. I would use brute force. Like a prisoner going into prison. Was that you? No. No. It's still ringing.

No. No. It sounds like your bottom's ringing though. No. Not at all. I can't sit down now. I think there's no chairs on this set. Please,

please continue on with the film. For more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on The Hits. Jono dressed like a giant baby in the moment. Yeah, is it doing things for you? It's doing some things.

Good things? What sort of things? Is it invoking any emotions? I don't know. I don't know how to answer this one. How do you feel about it, Juju, producer Juliet? I just look, well, the screens are covering most of you, so you just kind of look shirtless.

Yeah. As a millennial, is it great to see a middle-aged man dressed like a baby? Honestly, I've seen better sights. I pay top dollar for this normally on the weekends. Just getting in early. And if you want to pay top dollar, you can now help out Plunkett.

Pleads for Plunkett. Barb just text, pledged $100. So thank you, Barb. That's amazing. Now is this the same Barb who threatened us on week one saying, she didn't know about us. We talk a lot of nonsense,

but we said, just stick with us, Barb. And she's sticking with us. She's donating for Plunkett. So 0800 90 10 30, whatever you can donate, all money will go towards Kiwi families to help our community.

So it's awesome. But speaking of families, a lot of reporters overseas, particularly in the UK, are in lockdown and having to do those live reports from home. Oh, overseas, they've been in lockdown for so long. Again, my mate, an update from Santiago, Chile, 16 weeks. Wow. 16 weeks him and his partner have been in lockdown

in a tiny apartment in Santiago. So there's been a couple of instances of kids interrupting their parents on live crosses. So it happened first on BBC. This is live on the news. So a reporter was doing her cross to the studio. Her daughter was in the background trying to put a unicorn picture up on the shelf

and came in and interrupted. Now, quite honestly, this should have happened a long time ago, in my opinion. But here we are in this situation and... What's his name? And do stop me if you need to crack on. Do tell us. What's his name?

My name is Christian. His name is Christian. What's your daughter called? She's called Scarlet. Scarlet, I think it looks better on the lower shelf. And it's a lovely unicorn. Just deciding where it can go. Where Mummy wants it to go.

Oh, right. Where does Mummy want it to go? I think just on that shelf is great. Thank you. I'm so sorry. This is the most informative interview I've done all day. Now, did the little girl interrupt her cross or did they interrupt her placing up her unicorn picture?

You're right. This is the argument. That's a very good point. And then it happened, not only there, that's once, but twice in the same 24 hours in the UK. So on Sky News, there was another reporter reporting from home and her son came in with some biscuit negotiation, wanted a biscuit and had to find out if he was allowed one

right then and there. David Cameron was talking about, oh, I'm really sorry, that's my son arriving. Sorry, really embarrassed. Sorry. Hold on one second.

Can I have two biscuits? Yes, you can have two biscuits. I'm really sorry. Yeah, okay, well, we'll leave Deborah Haynes in full flow with some family duties. Great time to come in.

Can I have two biscuits? Great time, because your mum's always going to say whatever it is. Great time for negotiation. Whatever it is, you take it now. Yeah, he's got her in a weak point. Actually, can I have four biscuits? Whatever, yes, just get out of here.

Just take the whole packet, I don't care. You struggle. I think kids are probably clicking on to when to negotiate. Just wait, wait, we're live and we're in. Very cute when kids do it. It's annoying when adults do it though, isn't it? When adults bombard News Crossers, everyone's like, oh, come on.

Come on. Grow up. You're right. Gee whiz. You know, like the back of football games and stuff when they're like going, doing their hands and things. But when kids do it, it's fine.

It's fine. Hey, that was wonderful, Ben. Thank you for bringing that content to the show. It made me smile. And I'm dressed like a baby right now and hating life. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand.

Yes, we are calling every town and city in Aotearoa. It's going to take us two and a half years. We're doing one a day. And by the end of it, we would have affected every part of New Zealand, just like binge drinking. You're right. It's been really fun. It's been a fun journey so far.

It has been a fun journey, and I just love the people we speak to. They're all so positive and happy, aren't they? Yeah, and today we're going to a place that was crowned New Zealand's most beautiful large town. That's right. We've hit the seas, New Zealand. Woo! Woo! Woo!

Hold on, Juju. We won't dial just yet, because we need to just say we're going to Cambridge. We'll just hang up on that person abruptly right now. We're going to Cambridge which is in the Waikato. 24K's from Hamilton, Cambridge.

And I went through Cambridge Run so you know what happened? What? I used the public toilets and they were hands down the most hygienic

public toilets I've ever been. You could eat your breakfast off those public toilets. They were so clean. Wow. Yeah. You wouldn't but...

No, you wouldn't, because that would be irresponsible. Yeah, but okay. And there was a lovely, in the cubicle on the wall, it said, for a good time, call 021 blah, blah, blah.

And I was like, oh, I feel like a good time. So I called them, and we went out for a wonderful lunch, and I had a great time. It was a good time. It was a good time. We went on a roller coaster.

I had a great time. There's a lot of things We went on a roller coaster. I had a great time. There's a lot of things to do in Cambridge that are good times. You know, you can cycle, you can row, you can ride horses, lots of beautiful things. We'll head through to Cambridge now for the A to Z of New Zealand. Good morning. Welcome to Leamington Spa Motel. Lynn speaking.

Hello, Lynn. Jono and Benno from The Hits here. How are you? I'm good, thank you. You're from the Leamington Spa Motel. Do you have spa pools in the rooms? No. We have spa pools out in the pool area.

Oh, nice. I always get a little concerned sharing a spa with strangers. You're like, I don't know. You have a good conversation. I can watch it from the kitchen window, though. It's entertaining. Oh, you're pairing through your window in the smith. Am I on radio?

Well, we're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day, and we're doing it alphabetically, and now we've gone through the A's, through the B's, and now we've got to C in Cambridge. Nice. 270 towns and cities in New Zealand. It's going to take us two and a half years. Well, that'll keep you employed for a while then.

That was the plan. Yeah, that's kind of our plan. They can't fire us until we've gone through the whole A to Z. Ah, nice. Excellent. Well, it's all about making ourselves, keeping ourselves gainfully employed at the moment. That's true.

That's right. Even if you are looking through the window, it's strangers, spa, pool. She's monitoring. She's monitoring. Oh, monitoring. That's what you do at a hotel, right? You've got to keep an eye on all the guests.

Health and safety. Health and safety. So what can you tell us about Cambridge? Ah, Cambridge is just the most beautiful town in New Zealand, I think. Well, it was voted that. Well, there you go. So it's not just my opinion. It's the truth.

It's fact. New Zealand's most beautiful large town. Didn't get the small town, got the large town. So that's pretty awesome. It feels like a village, but man, it can be busy. And it's just beautiful. It's lovely. They love a horse, don't they?

You love a horse. I love a horse. Love a bike. Have you stewed straight all the horses and gone for a ride? I reserve the rights. No comment. Okay, no comment. Okay, what about cycling?

Do you like cycling around in circles? because they like that there, right? Yes, absolutely. Lots of people cycling around in circles here, yes. I have been known to ride the occasional bike myself, yes. Okay, and do you like rowing because Carapiro's nearby? Rowing likes our motel. Do a lot of the rowers come and stay with you? Yes, they have done, yes, in the past.

Closest motel to Lake Karapiro. Right, okay, and so you're looking through the window at the chisels. High-performance athletes. In the spa pool. Sometimes. I see why you're looking. I might have to come down and look as well.

Jono was saying about the public toilets in Cambridge. Very good, very high-quality public toilets. Hygienic, yeah. Oh, was saying about the public toilets in Cambridge. Very good. Very high quality public toilets. Hygienic, yeah. Oh, okay. Never used them myself. That's really good to know. You should give them a crack. Yeah, leave my house toilet and go down to the public ones. Yeah. That's always a prefer.

Sometimes you're sitting on yours at home and you're like, jeez, I wish there was more people in here. People I didn't know. Yeah. I can't say I've ever had more people in here. People I didn't know. Yeah. You know, I can't say I've ever had that thought. Yeah, you know. So go give that a go. Sometimes I like just sitting down and the toilet seat's already warm and you don't know whose butt cheeks have been on here before you.

Yeah, well, that's right. You're sort of lulled into a false sense of this is really nice. Yeah, it's nice but disturbing at the same time. In a disturbing kind of way, yeah. Oh, you're a good sport. Thank you for telling us about Cambridge, and well done on having a lovely, lovely little town, city? What are we?

What are you? Town. Not a city. Yeah, beautiful place, and nice and busy, and very close to other lovely spots like Raglan, and mountains not far away. I think it's a fantastic little place. Well, it's been fantastic talking with you.

Leamington Spa Motel. Go and stay there for all your spa needs. Oh, you're wonderful. Thank you very much. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. All morning we're helping. Pleads for Plunkett.

If you want to raise some money to help out this fantastic free service for Kiwi families under five, then 0800 90 10 30 is the number. 0800 90 10 30. Give us a call right now. I know you were saying in a meeting when we were planning for this to your mum, Jenny, big backer of Plunkett. Oh, yeah, back in the day, I don't think she could have got through, you know, like without Plunkett.

You know, they've been there and they're still there for Kiwi mums and dads right now. Like a guiding light. Yeah. And you want to call Jenny? Well, you do. You do more than me. But all right. Okay, let's call Jenny and find out you do. You do more than me. But all right.

Okay, let's call Jenny and find out. Let's see if she's got some great things to say about Plunkett. Hello, Jenny speaking. Hello, Mum. It's your son here along with Jono. Hello, dear. How are you doing? We're doing well.

So can I ask a question, Jenny? This might be a personal question. Oh, gosh, yes. What? How often does Ben call you, and how often am I always involved in these conversations? Because I feel like this is the only time he ever calls you. This counts.

Well, it's probably half truth in that. So I feel like you should call your mum off the radio more often. We enjoy our chats. Look, I'm an open book. Whatever chats we have, we have with the country. Okay, well, Jenny, is there anything you need to say on a personal level to Ben? Oh, well, I just hope he's fine and eating well. Come on.

Are you eating well? I'm eating all right. Mum always thinks I'm, you know, oh, you're wasting it. You know, Mum always thinks I need to eat more, so I'm trying to eat more. My mum always goes, you're wasting away, but I'm wasting up. I'm doing the opposite, Michelle, you're wasting away. Oh, right.

It'll be nice to see him then again. That would be nice. He could suggest that, you know, visits to mothers are always on the card. There we go. Maybe you should go and visit your mother up north every now and then, Ben. This wasn't the point of the call.

The point of the call was to talk about... No, now hold on. What do you want to say to Jenny, personally? Oh, it's lovely to talk to you, Mum. Oh, that's true. I love you to talk to you. I do like hearing your voice. I'll get my people to get in touch with you.

We'll arrange a time at some stage. No, I'm kidding. We've got an ulterior motive, Jenny. Yeah, we want to talk about Plunkett, because today's the big pledge for Plunkett Day, and of course, we're all Plunkett babies, right? You were, absolutely. I couldn't have coped without Plunkett. Because today's the big pledge for Plunkett Day and of course we're all Plunkett babies, right? You were, absolutely. I couldn't have coped without Plunkett.

They were absolutely fantastic. This is the sort of gold we wanted. Because we are helping raise money for Plunkett today. This is the sort of gold we're after. Thank God. This is why he phoned you, Mum. Get this gold out of this mine for the radio.

Well, it's a good organisation and there absolutely should be more government funding for it. That's why we're helping out today. So, yeah. I noticed, Jenny, well-publicised collector of things. You've collected a lot of things and saved a lot of things in your house. You must have Ben's Plunkett book there

and can we have a couple of chapters, a couple of excerpts? I think you gave it to me, didn't you? Oh, look, I gave it to him because when he had his first child, I thought, oh, he'd want to share all these lovely things. I mean, he was just such a cute little boy, and he spoke beautiful English right from the word go, apart from a lisp. I don't have a lisp.

Do you have a lisp? Jenny? Oh, well, when he had his special teddy bear that he called Mitzel. Okay, mother. No, no, keep going, Jenny. Mitzel. Little Mitzel. He was an excellent baby.

Oh, he was a great baby. One of the greatest. One of the top ten babies of all time. He just had trouble sleeping. I was not a great sleeper. I was quite a lot bigger back then when I was a baby very you know chubby bubba

oh chubby could have Michelin man for a while you were bullying a baby now Jenny I can imagine he had just the cutest little bottom

oh absolutely stop John I stopped around the lounge yeah what do you run naked around the lounge he's still doing that do you run naked around the lounge? You're still doing that around the office.

All right, wrap it up, Mum. I love to talk to you. We'll catch up in two to three weeks. Probably on the radio. We'll probably call you in another week or so. Okay, well, great organisation. I'm glad you're supporting Plunkett. Oh, good on you, Jenny.

All right, love you, Mum. Love you. Bye. Bye-bye. If you want to help support Plunkett, 0800 90 10 30 is the phone number. Operators are standing right by. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

We're pledging for Plunkett this morning. Jono is dressed like a giant baby in a nappy. You've got a little dummy and a bottle. And it's time for a change, Ben. Okay. This was one of the T's and C's when I signed up for this. Now, we're here at the Hit Studio and we've got a change, Ben. Okay. This was one of the T's and C's when I signed up for this. Now, we're here at the Hit Studio, and we've got big glass windows. Huge giant window, which looks directly into an auditorium.

We're in a building. It's a five-story building with lawyers. All sorts of other businesses upstairs, you know. Respected professions. Stock investors, fine cigar importers. The New Zealand Herald, of course, upstairs. New Sox ZB. And everyone's coming into work now

and looking through to you dressed like a giant baby. I mean, Lisa just walked past before and she saw me and she said, hello, looked at my face and then looked down. Literally jumped back and gasped, gasped. Yeah. I think it was too much sexiness for her at this time of morning.

Yeah, definitely that. That's the problem, isn't it? Now, on 0800THETHATS right now, or 4487, we want to know what sayings you've been saying wrong throughout your life. Because Producer Juliette, a friend of yours, has been saying on this.

So bad. I was having lunch with her, and I can't remember what we were talking about, but she was like, oh, yeah, that really tickles my fanny. And I was like, wait, what did you just say? She's like, tickle my fanny. And I'm like, are you meant to say tickle my fancy? And she's like, oh, what did you just say? She's like, tickle my fanny. And I'm like, are you meant to say tickle my fancy? And she's like, oh, is that it?

Is that it? So how long has she been saying that? Oh, I think, I don't know, but I assume for a very long time. I'm like, surely, surely that's not what you think it is. Technically on a logistical level, it kind of works. Depending on how you feel about tickling in that region. You're like, oh, that's, yeah, I guess. Are we talking American or New Zealand?

Anyway, let's not get into that. She must have said that to so many people, but no one's ever gone, you know, it's like when you've got something on your face, you want people to tell you. You're like, why did no one tell me this? She's like, she'll probably flashback into all the times she's used. And meetings going, hey, well, that idea really tickles my fatty.

And they were like, oh. You're like, is anyone going to tell her? Great. Well, that's great. She's on board. I know. So we wanted to know what other sayings, what sayings have you gotten wrong throughout your life?

Yeah. I think we mentioned last week our old boss, Brad. Wonderful man. Boss of the Rock. He was a stickler for it, wasn't he? Oh, you took him wrong all the time, right? Yeah, he would go balls to the floor instead of balls to the wall, which is for an aeroplane.

Yeah. So when, you know, the stick when the pilots use that. Yeah, we actually researched it to find why it was balls to the wall, and that was about the, you're right, the planes. Yeah, but it did result in a lot of us sitting down in meetings. Balls to the floor, guys. Okay, I guess. Well, he doesn't want to use chairs today.

Producer Julie, I noticed you say off the fly. Yeah, I didn't realise. I was like, oh yeah, we'll just do that off the fly. And you were like, you mean on the fly? Yeah, well, I guess it kind of works. Yeah, I don't know. I was like, you know how Antipodean, I think it's the Europeans and the British, that's how they refer to Australia

and New Zealand, the Antipodes. But for many years, I was like the Antipodes. That was the exact same. It's very confusing, isn't it? And I remember in California for work, and there was the people wandered around with T-shirts that had Kelly in the big letters, then underneath for, and then underneath NIA.

So where are we? We're in California. Yeah. And I went up to someone and I was like, what? I'm seeing these t-shirts all around. Is it like some campaign? Is it like a political drive?

Like California is for NIA. Like is it a gun thing? And I was like, what is Kelly? I went up to someone, what is Kelly for NIA? And she looked at me going, are you okay? It's California.

And oh, I felt like a right bozo that day. So, i100, that's 4487. Love to hear from you. Call us and text us on a Friday. What sayings have you or someone you know been getting wrong? From Auckland, welcome, Leon. How are you? Great to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast, mate.

Good morning. How are you? Yeah, we're doing well. It's wonderful to have you here. What's Breakfast, mate. Good morning. How are you? We're doing well. It's wonderful to have you here. What sayings are you getting slightly wrong? Well, I've spent around 25 years mispronouncing Siobhan as Siobhan. Oh, I can see how you've done that, though.

Because there's the S-H-A-V-A-U-G-H-A-N, Siobhan. Yeah. Yeah, Siobhan. Yeah, exactly. I did the same with SeN, Siobhan. Yeah. Yeah. Siobhan. Yeah. I've done the same with Seen, which is Sean. Sean is sometimes spelt with S-E-A-N. I'm like, G'day, Seen. How's it going?

I'm like, Sean. How have you been doing that? I did that when I was younger, but I was like... When I was six. Yeah, I was like... Leon's been doing it until his adult years. Yeah, I guess. What was the day you found out, Leon? Oh, when I met someone called Siobhan, I guess.

And you were like, Siobhan? Yeah, yeah, exactly. How many... It just clicked, you know. I was like wondering how do you spell that name and then it just clicked when I saw it written down. How many Siobhans have you knocked off through your time before you discovered?

Hopefully none. Thank you, Leon. You have a great day. Let's go to Wellington, New Zealand's breakfast. We welcome Lau. Good to have you on. Yeah, good to be on. What are you being mispronounced? What sayings have you been getting incorrect, Lau? So when I was a young fella, I used to have a tendency on

listening in on adult conversation. And anyways, I used to hear the old saying, eavesdropping being dropped in the combos of my parents and stuff. Yeah. And so I just picked it up and started going with the eavesdropping. Oh, which makes sense. Yeah, I can see how you got there.

It does make sense. It reminds me of those people who put those discs in their earlobes, droopy ears. Oh, right. You've seen those people? They've got in their earlobes, droopy ears. You seen those people? They've got fire poise at like spore and stuff. What happens to their earlobes after that? Are they sagging their whole lot? Are they like holes in their earlobes?

I imagine they'd still have a bit of a hole. Or is it a disc that goes over the top? Maybe you've got droopy ears. We'd love to hear from you. Ears dropping right now. Yeah. Same with, well, the kids used to say glutec, which I thought was quite clever, instead of Blutac. You know, because it is kind of essentially, it is Glutac,

but it's like, well, actually it's Blutac. Yeah, apart from on the packet it says Blutac. But we need some more Glutac. I was like, why don't I stick things in the wall? I see how you got there. Let's go to Levin. Michael, welcome. Hello.

How are you? I'm good. How are you? Yeah, we're doing well. It's lovely to talk to you. Sayings you got wrong? So, I never knew the saying, easy peasy lemon squeezy, and it wasn't until I said to someone,

stressy, depressy, lemon zesty, that they looked at me and they were like, what the hell did you just say? How have you mixed up easy peasy, lemon squeezy for, what, jessy, depressy? No, stressy, depressressy Lemon Zesty. Lemon. Wow. You missed the memo on that.

You did. Completely. But I love it. But lemons aren't easy to squeeze either. It's actually quite a... No, you're right. Do you know, as someone at a life hack, you can punch a thing in the bottom of the lemon.

You can get a stick, put it in the lemon, and just squeeze it out the hole. Oh, that's very clever. Don't get the pips. That's very clever. That does make it easy peasy lemon squeezy there. Yeah. Fun fact there. Hey, cheers Michael. You have a wonderful day in Laverne, eh? Have a good weekend. Yep, you too.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. The South Island will be laughing, but for Auckland, it's the coldest morning of the year for Auckland. Negative one degrees. There was a little bit of ice on my windshield

as I went to drive into work this morning. I had to scratch it off with my fingers. Aw, you poor thing. Colder than my cold heart out there, isn't it? It is bloody chilly though, isn't it? And a great day for Ben to decide to dress me up like a baby in nappies. Yeah, you are. On the coldest day of the year.

It's for Plunkett and I know very soon you're going to set me a challenge. I'm going to get pneumonia for Plunkett. That's how much I love Pumpett. Pumpett? Plunkett.

I also love Pumpett as well. 0890 1030 is the number if you want to pledge for Plunkett. We've got some operators standing by all day today at the Hits. Yeah, we do. More on this after 8 o'clock

because you've made me dress like a baby and I'm going to set a little goal for you. Oh God, I know. This is not going to be fun. But I know that I enjoyed seeing you like a baby

so I know I have to pay that price after 8 o'clock. But right now... Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz Here's producer Juliet with some Spy.

So Bernie Ecclestone who was the former CEO of the Formula One group has become a dad again and guess how old he is? 89. Yeah, damn it. I shouldn't do that.

Sorry. No, you should do that, but Ben should play the game. He should say, I don't know, how old? How old is he? He's 89. Oh, wow. There you go. Really old.

So he's a dad at 89. How old's his partner? 44. Oh, yeah. So they's a dad at 89. How old's his partner? 44. Oh, yeah. So they've just welcomed a son. He's already had previous children from previous marriages. But 89, how old would he be if the baby turns 18, when the baby's 18?

God, I don't know. I'm bad at maths. I shouldn't ask that on the spot, should I? Yeah. Another rule of radio. Don't ever ask radio announcers to do on-the-spot mathematics. Do you know he would be doing, at 89 years old, he'd be doing no heavy lifting in the procreating process.

You would imagine. Oh, okay. I hadn't thought about that. Yeah, no. He would just lie, wouldn't he? 107. 107 he'd be when that happened. 107?

When the child is 18. Oh, damn. He might be. Might be. Might happen. Hey, who knows? A friend of mine's father was relatively old when he had a baby, a little baby in Samoa. Really?

I think he's probably about the same age. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. He's got, my friend found out he had a little half-brother, half-Samoan brother. Cute. Yeah. How old is your friend?

Like, just recently. He's my age. Right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And they didn't know you kept it a secret the whole time, the dad? They didn't know. Well, they didn't know. He wasn't living with them at the time. Wow. But age. Right. Yeah. Okay. And they didn't know you kept it a secret the whole time, the dad? They didn't know.

Well, they didn't know. He wasn't living with them at the time. Wow. But yeah. Okay. Who's to say you should stop in your 80s? Exactly. Who's to say?

Who's to say? Not for us to say. It's not for me to judge. If you want to keep making babies until you die, do it. I'm not here to stop you. You're right. You're a grown adult. Quite a grown adult.

Almost. It Almost too grown. But if that's what you want to do, if that's what makes you happy, then do that. That's what I say. And Bowdoin Barrett has reportedly signed a $3 million deal with a Japanese club. And it's apparently meant to be for just one year.

He'll only miss the 2021 Super Rugby season and not any international rugby report of it. Yeah, apparently so. So it's one year of the Blues, it's looking like. Then he'll go off and do that and come back. Move to Japan in December, apparently. Oh, well, I'm glad something's working out for Bowdoin Barrett. What do you mean?

The guy hasn't led a perfect life up until now. Yeah, he's got it. He's a star all black and so handsome. He deserves that. He does deserve it. He seems like a nice guy. I've never met him. Have you ever met Bowdoin Barrett?

I have met him once. What did you say to Bowdoin Barrett when you met Bowdoin Barrett? It was, oh, hello. Hello, I'm Ben. Good start. Then what did you follow up with? Big fan, big fan. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I was like, you know, it's one of those moments where you just try and play it cool. Yeah. You try and play it like a little shit. What did you talk about? Did you try to talk about anything apart from rugby? Yeah, but it's very hard not to because you just want to go. So anyway.

So what topics did you cover off of Boat and Barrett? Non-rugby topics. I can't remember what it was at the time you try and talk about some other stuff. We did a photo for the TV Guide being Boat and Barrett and a couple of people once. What? Yeah.

Where was I? Mate, they didn't want you. Where was I? The TV, what, a cover? Were you on the cover of the TV Guide with Boat and Barrett? Yeah, the end guy? Mate, I didn't want you Where was I? The team, what, a cover? Were you on the cover of the TV guy with Boat and Barrett? The end guy, Williams, I think What? Where was I?

Yeah, well, mate You left me, we do everything together I was Boat and Barrett Cheated on me with Boat and Barrett I was Boat and Barrett I wasn't going to say, hi, can I bring my mate Jono? But I'll dress him up like a baby Go off and take the great Boat and Barrett gigs I know, good stuff, thank you, Juliet my mate Jono. But I'll dress him up like a baby.

Go off and take the great boat of barricades. I know, good stuff. Thank you, Juliet. No worries. For more spy, head to the hits.co.nz. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I don't know if this is a problem that people will relate to or not, but you know how you can have iTunes or whatever on your phone.

Yeah, you can have all your music stored on your phone, yeah? Yeah. It's a wonderful function. Who would have thought, you know, Juliet, oh, now I'm going to sound like an old man dressed as a baby, because I am dressed as a baby for Plunket Day today. Here we go. You know, back in the day if you wanted to hear your favourite song,

you had to listen to the top nine at nine, at nine o'clock at night, stay up with a tape recorder, and record it. And then some annoying announcer would talk over the start of it, like us, you know? I'm doing it now. You've ruined the start of the song, because I'm recording this. I remember the first time I bought a CD

to one of my daughters, you know, it was like, we got a CD, it was like, and she was like, how do I get this in the phone? Like, because that was the thing, they only know music comes out of the phone. You're like, oh, actually, CDs are there, you can play music drop. How do I get this in the phone? Because that was the thing, they only know music comes out of the phone. You're like, oh, actually CDs, you can play music from. How do I get this in the phone? How do we connect this into the phone? Oh my goodness.

Now, do you know what a cassette tape looks like? Maybe. I don't know. Jeez. Is it the big one and you put the CDs in it? No, that's called a Walkman. Cassette was like, before CDs it was a... It was a tape. Oh, and it put the CDs in it? No, that's called a Walkman. Oh, okay. Because it was like, before CDs, it was a... It was a tape.

Oh, and it would like, in together? Yes, yeah, you put one of those. Wonderful, wonderful technology. It was, yeah. I said to Julia this morning, I come to work and I just feel like a miserable old man. What did I ask her? I said, oh, have you heard of Three Doors?

Oh, Three Doors Down. It was another song by Three Doors Down. No, no, no. No idea. Sorry. Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Dad. Anyway,

what was I talking about? My Alzheimer's is kicking in. You bloody millennials, you got my thought pattern off track. Yeah. Get off my grass. Say I'm alone.

Oh, that's right. iTunes. Gee whiz, we took a good dog leg there. Wonderful. All right, iTunes. Yeah, iTunes. Back on track, Dad. Yeah, come on.

Sorry, I get a bit dithery. You're too slow. We go to the mall. Also, the iTunes, whenever my phone is in range of any of the Bluetooth devices, you know, I'm hooked up to, whether it be the car or the speaker at home, it automatically syncs up and starts playing the first song on the list.

So A, and it works alphabetically. I'm not sure if it's the same as Spotify. It does, but you plug it in with my phone as well. And so I am just, I feel like an absolute monster because I'm growing a deep-seated hatred for Ed Sheeran, the nicest man in the world. Yeah.

Because he's got a song that I've never heard before, The A Team. And... So this is A. Oh, this song, yeah. Do you know this? Yeah.

And I just, after 10 seconds, I'm like, turn it off! Turn it off! The song is the bane of my existence. Ed Sheeran the A-Team. I've never even heard the whole thing.

I've heard the first 10 seconds and it gets me into such a fit of rage. I don't know why. Because I feel bad for hating Ed Sheeran. He's starting to haunt me. I know your pain. I know the first song on your phone can come out

alphabetically. For a while there, the kids had loaded in a very funny song from Chris Rock from Madagascar. I think you've got it here. Oh, my God. Afro Circus, great song from Chris Rock. But every time I flag my phone in, we're going... So I had to get another song to put in. What did you put above it?

Some song for a band. I didn't even know what the band was. What did you put above it? Some song for a band. I didn't even know what the band was. Just so you didn't have to hear. Every time you plug it in, you were like, oh, yeah. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. The Hits pledge for Plunkett. Today we are helping out the fantastic charity that is Plunkett.

It gives such great, amazing support for parents with kids under five, and we want it to be around. And so today we're pledging for Plunkett. Anything you can give us right now, and we know these are difficult times in New Zealand, but anything you can give at all, 0800 90 10 30 is the number. 0800 90 10 30 would be greatly appreciated.

We have a team of actual babies out there in the office taking your credit card details for the fundraising drive, which is great. It's a baby thing, so they're quite handy. You're dressed like a baby today, and everyone that walks by... Ben's made me dress...

No, let me just clarify, if you've just joined us. I haven't come willingly... Someone's taking photo of you. I haven't come to work willingly... Dressed like a baby. But the problem being, the jeopardy in this, is Ben's made me dress like a baby. He got someone to donate $100 to Plunkett.

So I'm in nappies. Shirtless, shirtless. And I love the fact that all our social video videos from the studio today are just going to be you shirtless with no context. No explanation. And I don't want any explanation going out. It must have been hot in the studio on the coldest day of the year. But the problem being, we've got a giant window which looks out to anest day of the year. But the problem being we've got a giant window

which looks out to an auditorium of the building. It's a five-story building, so it's not just the radio stations in there. Hordes of people streaming in. Upper management just shaking their heads. A man just walked past. I've never seen the man before looking at me in disgust. He did that whole thing when you vomit,

but you don't want to let your... Enough? Yeah. So that's the world I'm living in at the moment and it seems only fair that prank retribution happens. Okay, what I need to do. Because you're like, if I do this then I'm going to make you do something.

Yeah, and you're refusing to feed me like a proper mother or change my nappies. You're like, breast is best, you keep saying it, don't you? I do, yeah. Nothing was coming out though, was it? It just got awkward after a while. I was like one of those fish sucking on the window. Nothing was coming.

But anyway, what the team and myself have conjured up here is a baby-themed phone call. So, yeah, I know you're quite good at the baby talk. Oh, what, like the patronising voice? Boozy, boozy, boozy. Why do people do that to babies? Babies must be freaked out by that. Yeah, it's quite condescending, isn't it?

That sort of stuff. Yeah, so it's a baby-themed phone call to our Chief Executive Officer, Michael Boggs. No. Now, I know you've had limited interaction with Michael Boggs. No! I mean, you signed a contract with Michael Boggs to come here. He's the boss of not only this radio station,

all the radio stations, ZB, the New Zealand Herald. He's the boss of not only this radio station, all the radio stations, ZB, the New Zealand Herald. He's the boss of everything in the building. I mean, you could probably count on one hand how many times you've spoken to Michael Boggs. Yeah, I like Boggs. He's a great guy, but I'm not at Baby Boy's stage with him. Yeah, and I'm not au fait in CEO communication,

but I'm not sure if baby talk is the preferred option. So I'd like you to, maybe has he got you a car park? Some more annual leave? So I want an adult-themed conversation in a baby voice. Producer Julius redialed the number in. Ready to go? No.

Okay. Okay. I'm so nervous about this. Hopefully he doesn't answer. He's in the waiting. Are we just going to straight into it? Baby voice?

Just straight into it? Michael Fox, good morning. Is there a mucky wucky? Oh, who's this? Is it Boxy Boxy Boy? Okay, who is it? It's Benny Winnie from the Hitsy Witsy. Are we still up for our meaty-wheating this afternoony-woony?

What are you on, Ben? Are you at work today? Who's a cute little boxy? You're a cute little boxy. Just want to boop you on the nose, boop. Have you got a parky-warky for pity boy? In the building welding? Is Jono there with you?

Jono may be here as well, Bogsy. I'm going to ask a couple more things. Sorry, just to put you through this. Can I get two more weeks and you'll leavey-weevy? You've been practising this. Daddy loves you, Bogsy. Okay, that's weird calling him Daddy. Okay, can we hang up on them?

I don't really know what the hell. I'll probably see you in the office later today, I'm sure, Michael. This was all Ben's idea, Michael. I'm just coming down, Pete. You're in trouble now. Okay, hang up. Thank you, bye.

Have a great day. See you, Michael. Pretend this never happened. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, a friend of mine is working from home. Yeah, there's a lot of people out at the moment and doing a Zoom video call the other day.

He's sort of got like a little office out next to his house, like a little outsource sleep out area. Oh, in the shed. Yeah, sort of in the shed. Don't try and make it sound flashier than it is. He's in the shed. He's in the garden shed. He's working away.

He was annoying everyone in the main house and so he's been shunted out to the shed. Yeah, so he's working away. He's doing a Zoom message and he felt a little something sort of on his neck and he was like, oh, okay, this is weird and sort of was doing an important thing. Meeting.

And he was like, ow. And he smacked down on his neck and it was a spider. He'd been bitten. He was like, oh, sorry, in the middle of this, I've just been it was a spider. He'd been bitten. He was like, oh, sorry, in the middle of this meeting, I've just been bitten by a spider. Was it a white tail? Quite a lot of panic.

I was trying to work out what sort of spider it was. The meeting's kind of going on. Fortunately, he was fine. Did they set a new agenda for the meeting? Let's figure out what Michael got bitten by. Yeah, yeah. So that's what happened during a Zoom video call. I was like, jeez.

Don't you find when you think you see a white tail that everything looks like a white tail? Oh, yeah. Because a lot of them have the white dot on the end, but I don't know if that's... It's a white tail! Get away! Get away!

And it's literally the most dangerous thing in New Zealand is a white tail. We've got nothing else apart from white tails, and we are petrified of them. Any other country, that would be just a domestic spider. Yeah, because we don't really get bitten by anything like, you know, that impressive. I didn't realise my son Oscar was telling me,

Daddy Longlegs, the most poisonous spider in the world, but just doesn't have the grunt to get the poison out. Oh, really? Jeez, how annoyed would you be? He's like, I'm packing so much, but I just don't have the punch to get it out. I could end you right now. Oh, I could. I could, oh, if I could end you right now. Oh, I could.

I could, oh, if I could get you. Go on then, oh, I can't really. So we thought we'd throw it out there this morning. Jono, you've come up with Jono's big three. Yeah, the big three. Have you been bitten by the big three? We're talking sharks. We're talking, what else?

Snakes. What else are we talking? Alligators, crocodiles. Sharks, alligator, crocodile. I'll chuck in oneators. Crocodiles. Sharks. Alligator. Crocodile. I'll chuck in one more. Lions. Okay.

Have you been bitten by a lion? Any of those. We're not expecting you to get bitten by all of those. No, because that would be a phenomenal story. Maybe if Dr. Doolittle's calling right now, that would be fun. Or Noah from Noah's Ark. I imagine he encountered a few bots. That would have been a shambles on that ark. On his boat, wrangling all the animals.

Some wild animals he got on there. And they all just conveniently went along with him. Oh, what, you just want us in pairs? Oh, yeah? You just want us to walk up the ramp? See you guys. See you guys. See your family.

We're just going up here with this guy. I've seen Tiger King. It's hard to control animals. Okay, so, oh, Andrew, the hits. Have you been bitten by any of those animals? We'll see if we can get anyone on next. I don't think we will. We're talking crocodiles.

We're talking sharks. We're talking snakes and a lion. I threw in a lion. I don't see if we can get anyone on next. I don't think we will. We're talking crocodiles. We're talking sharks. We're talking snakes and a lion. I threw in a lion. I don't know if we'll get a lion bite, but let's find out. 4487 on the text too. Let's welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Nick. Have you been bitten by any of the big three slash five?

Morning, guys. How are you? Yeah, what were you bitten by? Well, a shark. Back in February, yeah. This year? Yes, yes. Yeah, I was hit just in Pawanui off the windsock there.

Oh, I think I've read about this. You were out surfing and the shark basically attacked you and you had to fight with it to get rid of it. Is that right? Yeah, I had to punch it. It was sitting, you know, it was chomped. It was more of a hit and a glancing blow by a couple of stray teeth. One sliced through my wetsuit and didn't go all the way through to my skin,

but the other one sliced through the wetsuit and into my arm and cut along my arm. The teeth are super, super sharp. They're just kind of like a router or something. And full credit to you because, you know, everyone thinks about what they would do in that scenario, and it's like, oh, you punch him in the nose. You punch him, you stab him in the eyes with your fingers. I don't know if I would have the composure to do that in that situation,

but you punched him. Where? Yeah, I punched it. I was aiming for its eye, actually. It was this great big head on the front of the board. It was targeting the front of the board more than me, luckily. So, you know, they go for the kill shot of seals and kingfish or whatever. They're going for the head and neck area, so the pointy bit was where it chomped down, but it just came up and hit me on the way.

This big eye was staring back at me, so I took a shot at it and told it to go away in two fairly blunt words. Did you swear at a shark? Yeah, well, it was just the first two words that pumped into my head. Swearing at a shark. He's like, you know I don't speak English. So what, it just went away after that? Well, it did.

The first punch was, you know, like one of those James Bond movies where you whack the big mean guy and nothing happens. You know, it just looked back at me. I sort of missed the eye, hit a bit behind the eye, pulled my fist back, and then nothing. It just looked at me. It's going like, what the? So I just shouted again and went wham, and took another shot

and got it right smack bang in the eye. The second one, and then it sort of rolled up, this protective coating on its eye. You know, they have this kind of just whitey, yellowy, grey bit, sort of rolled up. Because normally when they attack, I think they roll their eyes up to protect them, someone told me, but anyway. Then it slowly started disengaging

its teeth from the board where it was chomped down. Luckily my arm was kind of back while I was paddling when it hit. If my arm had been forward, it would have pinned my arm to the front of the board. That would have been a bit messy. Terrifying. And so on the way back you must have been going,

back to shore. Definitely, I was paddling as fast That would have been a bit messy. Heck of a terrible situation. And so on the way back, you must have been going, ah, ah, ah. Sucking back to shore. Oh, yeah, definitely. He was paddling as fast as I could for sure. And there was a German surfer out there as well who heard me shout and saw the second punch. And he was paddling in as fast as he could as well. He was giving some good encouragement to go faster.

I would be. You just make inhumane noises in that situation, don't you? Fighting for your life in that situation. Well, yeah, you're just paddling as fast as you can. I got a hit on the middle of the board when I was about halfway back in. Came back for another look and went donked into the bottom of the board. What damage to you now? Have you got any scars or anything like that?

Oh, I've got a bit of a scar on my arm. It wasn't really deep enough for stitches. I just put some plaster on it and kept it dry for a while. But yeah, I've got a little linear scar on my forearm. And yeah, there was some people reaching out to me on Facebook. You've heard of Fight Club. There's a Facebook support group called The Bite Club. The Bite Club.

Well, I tell you what, you may have long-lasting scars. You've also got great stories for our desperate radio shows in the morning. Thank you for talking to us today. We really appreciate it. No worries. Glad you could live to tell that tale. Let's go to Jodie in Auckland. What have you been bitten by?

A tiger. Oh, no. No way. Where? In Thailand. We went on a trip to a tiger sanctuary, my husband and I, on our honeymoon. And there was two options. One of you had to feed a tiger cub a tiger sanctuary, my husband and I, on our honeymoon, and there was two options. One of you had to feed a tiger cub with a bottle,

and the other one had to wash an adolescent tiger. And my husband was too scared to do that, so I had to do the adolescent tiger. And while I was busy giving a wash to this tiger, the one behind me got loose and bit my butt. Oh, my God. I love it when you're like, you had to do it. I don't know why you had to do it. And your husband was like,

I'm not doing that. Way you go. He also didn't dive with sharks on that trip. You know there's options not to do stuff. And I can imagine, as much as I love the tie, their health and safety regulations. Well, you don't know, baby. Were they quite relaxed?

Very relaxed, yeah. We were playing with tigers with toys on the end of a stick in a river and there was no safety whatsoever. Oh, the tigers were in the river and you were just holding out like a dangly toy for them.

Well, at least they're not caged up, I guess. They're out there. Yeah, they can do what they want, including biting you on the bottom. What was the damage on your bum, if I can ask? Well, I've still got

a triangle-sized scar on my butt. Oh, jeez. That is great. Well, Ben actually did that last Friday at work drinks, didn't you, to someone? Yeah. I don't know. Are you still dealing with the full out of that?

Yeah, there's a bit of damage for that with the HR kind for me. That's incredible. Hey, well, thank you, Jodie. And great story to tell, too. The Tiger Queen. No relation to the Tiger King. Yeah, no, I don't think anyone wants any association with him. Thank you so much.

Marie, with us on 0800, the hits, you were bitten by what? I was bitten by a scorpion. Not even on the top three slash five, but we're going to add another one. Scorpion bite. What happens when you're bitten by a scorpion? Well, I was on the holidays in Thailand as well. Thailand, bloody Thailand. Great things for tourism, Thailand here.

Can't wait for those borders to open up. No, I was actually trying to, I was staying in a as well. Thailand, great things for tourism, Thailand here. Can't wait for those borders to open up. No, I was actually trying to, I was staying in a little village out of Chiang Mai and I was living with the locals

and I was trying to mop the floor. I decided to dry mop the floor with my hands but there was a scorpion in the mop and the scorpion bit me.

Oh my God, so what happens in that situation? Is it poisonous? The local woman took me to the chief of the village, the local dispensary, to give me some medication straight away

and told me that never happened. Yeah, no one's ever been bitten? No, never. Not in the village. What does it feel like when you're bitten by a scorpion? What happens to you? You have a fever and you can't feel your arms and you can't feel your arms or you can't feel your limbs for a bad couple of days.

Two days? Wow. Can I just say, the most adorable accent we've ever had on the radio show. Thank you so much, Marie. Actually, I spoke to you not long ago because I'm the kind of person that really gets well with animals. If you remember, I was on your show not long ago because I had a couple of cockroaches on my well with animals. If you remember, I was on your show not long ago

because I had a couple of cockroaches on my face and my chest. Yeah, that's right. I do remember. Yes, you're right. Oh, it's our old friend Marie. You really had some

insect-based incidents. You love to share us and we love it. Yeah, it must be my accent. Oh, that's incredible, Marie. Hey, thank you so much for listening to the show, mate. You go and have

a wonderful weekend, okay, buddy? You too. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Before we go, thanks to Destination New South Wales, we've got to give away our final trip to New South Wales.

These are amazing trips. They are. We've given away millions of dollars of trips this week, multi-millions of dollars. If you want to find out more, you can visit nsw.com. It's called visitnsw.com, and you can see all the amazing things you can do in New South Wales.

Hello, Sarah speaking. Oh, Sarah. Hi. Hi, I'm not going to muck around. I'm not going to muck around. We've got 60 seconds. I'm all muck around. One of the two. He's mucking around now with his mucking around. Listen, Sarah, John, I've been here from the hits. Oh, hi, guys. Guess what, mate? Oh, you're joking. Yep, I am.

See you later. No, no, you're going to New South Wales. Oh, my God. Are you serious? No, we're deadly serious. You've won our Metro Couple Pack. It's amazing. Three nights in Sydney. You're right there in the city.

You can check out the amazing attractions, the shopping. You're going to stay at the old Clare Hotel. We're going to put you, you're going to climb up the Harbour Bridge as well, climb across that. You're going to eat a koala. No, not that. But there's amazing things you're going to do. It's're going to climb up the Harbour Bridge as well, climb across that. You're going to eat a koala. No, not that. But there's amazing things you're going to do. It's just going to be an incredible three days.

Oh, my God, I'm shaking. That's nuts. Thank you so much. Listen, it's all us. It's just Ben and me. We'll take the credit. No thanks to visit nsw.com, destination New South Wales. It's all on us.

We're paying for it ourselves. Yeah. You'll enjoy that. It's a great thing to look forward to while the weather's so horrible in New Zealand Wales. It's all on us. We're paying for it ourselves. Yeah. You'll enjoy that. It's a great thing to look forward to while the weather's so horrible in New Zealand. Oh, it is. And, you know, I'm in Dunedin, so it's freezing cold,

so this will be amazing. Oh, listen, you couldn't have gone, couldn't have a better winner. You're an absolute legend. Go and have a great weekend. Enjoy Australia, eh? Oh, thank you so much. See you Monday from 6.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app.