Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - July 08 - Don't Call Us We'll Call You, The A To Z Of New Zealand, Have You Been Scammed?

Episode Date: July 7, 2020

On today's show, we chatted to Barb who has NEVER BEEN ON THE INTERNET! Well actually she kind of has, but she hasn't seen Charlie Bit My Finger and all the other great viral videos! So we're going on a mission to narrow down the best videos on the internet to show Barb and it's going to be great! Jono also brought some more car chat to the show but today it was all about honking horns. Also, we talked to someone whose mum has been married TWELVE TIMES! Enjoy the show!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Okay, podcast intro. Ben Boyce, I've been sent a package that you've handed me. Oh yes, I know what this is. This is a little something I just need you to take out of the country. It's in a brown bag. Very, an unsuspicious looking brown package. Where would you like me to travel this to? No, it's for my dad. We were saying the other day

that he was, it was a bit of fun during lockdown. He made a little bit of a book, Little Kids. He's a retired school teacher and so he set one up

for your kids. So there you go. Oh, that's lovely. And he's a man of his word. I know, surprisingly he's a man of his word.

There you go. Magical moments with Mr. Bear. Yeah, there you go. It's nice of him. Oh, he's written something

on the inside as well. Poppy, enjoy Mr. Bear. Yeah, there you go. It's nice of him. Oh, he's written something on the inside as well. Poppy, enjoy. Mr. Bear, off from Kevin Boyce. What a lovely thing to do. Oh, there you go. Oscar, I hope you enjoy it. Oh, signed by the author. The author himself.

Because he does music with it as well, like the Winky Wonky Donkey, doesn't he? Yeah, we like that, but not quite as successful. Minus the millions and millions of sales. Yeah, but that's good. He's keeping them busy. He's enjoying it. And that's what it is. I mean, you get to an age in life

where you just need to keep yourself busy. I mean, my dad's doing that in retirement. He's playing a lot of solitaire. Your dad, isn't he? You love solitaire. No one would beat John Pryor in a game of solitaire. Computer solitaire. And he's even taken to mowing the berms

of the entire street. I wonder if he will do that. Because I don't mow mine, you know, like for ages. And I'm like, just waiting for the neighbours to do it. Yeah, no, he does that. He does their whole street in St Albans. And I'm like, you know, you don't have to do this. Oh, well, it's just not the place looking nice.

But what, the entire street? So, yeah, the people of St Albans should be very thankful Mr Pryor's mowing their berms. Today on the podcast we talk to A listener of the show I think we're growing on her Yeah Barb, Barb She's a bit off us to begin with, big fan of Laura, Sam and Tony The previous show

We're slowly turning Barb Like a rotisserie chicken Aren't we? Just a slow burn on Barb But we've got her and we've found That she's never seen videos from the internet And so we've set ourselves a mission, haven't we? Just a slow burn on Barb. But we've got her and we've found that she's never seen videos from the internet. And so we've set ourselves a mission, haven't we, Ben? Yeah, playing her some videos, the best viral videos. So if you want to get in touch with us on our Facebook or Instagram,

the Hits Breakfast, and tell us what videos we need to play someone who hasn't seen viral videos. Yeah, so we're going to do that with Barb. Also, if you want to get in touch with Ben, 021-748-9... Okay, all right, let's wrap it up. That's all right, wrap it up. Okay, okay, okay. The Songy Cornflakes of Radio It's Jono and Ben on the hits

Most people do don't they these days Sucked into the internet But there are very few who have never felt the joy Of going online And being harassed By lots of lonely singles In your area Do you always get those ads?

No Yes you do This is another one of those things where I'm going to look like an internet pervert harassed by lots of lonely singles in your area. Do you always get those ads? No. Yes, you do. I don't. This is another one of those things where I'm going to look like an internet pervert. I honestly don't. I couldn't tell you the last time I've had a lonely single in my area. Oh, yeah, no, me too.

Me too. I wonder why they're always so lonely and always in my area. Maybe they should go to other areas. I get a lot of people giving me grief on social media. That's fine. Yeah, if you've never felt the joy of cyber bullying, Ben Boyce, well then we want to give you the chance to do so. So we have been on a mission over the last couple of days

to find someone who has never been on the internet with the long-term goal of playing them some of the biggest clips as voted by you from the internet to get their reaction. Because this is a part of their life that they've never even experienced, explored. And someone reached out after the show yesterday, Ben, someone who I think you will know when we call her.

Right. Who has very limited experience with the internet, and I think is a perfect candidate for this. Producer Juliet will go through to her now. Oh, I'm excited. Morning, the'm excited. Morning, this is Barb speaking. Oh, it's Barb, Ben. It's Barb.

Oh, hello, boy. Our dear friend Barb. We've had a rich history with Barb over the last few months since we started the show. Bit shady on us to begin with. Said we hadn't quite won her over. Said we were on borrowed time. But then last time we spoke to her, you'd warmed to us slightly without going all, Bit shady on us to begin with. Said we hadn't quite won her over. Said we were on borrowed time.

But then last time we spoke to her, you'd warmed to us slightly without going all, you know, full tropical heat. That's true. I'm slow to be won over and really, you know, this internet stuff, I don't know. Yeah, we haven't gone full Fiji yet with Barb. No, no. Where are we sitting?

It's a lukewarm, you know, best. Upper North Island, maybe. Yeah. Now, Barb, we understand you have hardly been on the internet. Well, yes, within reason. I do email. Oh, you're a closed book, Barb. Haven't let us into your life yet.

No, do I want to hear all the crap you want to share? Sorry. No, fair enough. This is a lot of crap. You're right. Some people post things like, you know, those Christmas letters that families used to do? Oh, Bert's still looking for a job. He's trying really hard.

And look at Susie. She's done so well with her dancing this year. And here's another shot of her. And there's another shot of her. And I think, I just haven't got time for all of that. Barb, that only happens once a year. And you know you can just delete it. Yeah, but that was when it was letters.

Now it's on the internet. I mean, on Facebook. People will post that sort of rubbish all the time. Too self-indulgent, Barb. Okay, well, listen, you sound like the perfect candidate. Have you ever witnessed a dog reuniting with a soldier fresh back from war?

No. Have you ever witnessed a panda sneezing, Barb? A sneezing panda? No. Have you seen Charlie when Charlie got his finger Charlie bit the finger? What's Charlie? Oh, Barb, I was so much ready to show you.

Barb, we are going to see you. Have you got time to sit down with us, Barb? Can we meet you in the flesh? Oh, well, I don't know about that. You might not are going to see you. Have you got time to sit down with us, Barb? Can we meet you in the flesh? Oh, well, I don't know about that. You might not like what you see. Oh, listen, have you seen us? You'll definitely not like what you see. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have. You're a bit like my boys, so that's

okay. I can cope with that. Okay, so potentially, if you're okay with it, have a think about it next week. We'd love to sit down with you and show you maybe the top five internet videos that you've missed out on seeing in your lifetime. Okay, I didn't know there was a top five.

That would be good. There's not, but we need to make one, Jono. I'm just making this up on the spot, Jono. Yeah, no, we're going to compile it. He's the boss, Barb.

I'll have to follow him. He wears the pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, top five. That's right, Greg. Top ten, top five. No, five's good. Your first idea was great, Greg.

You're awesome. All your ideas are great. And we know how you're honest because you first idea was great, mate. You're awesome. All your ideas are great. And we know how you're honest because you're honest with us, Barb. We appreciate it. You know, you told us you weren't sure about us. You're still not sure about us, so that's good. All right. All right, guys.

You know what I can smell, Barb? What? I can smell a classic commercial radio story arc brewing here. Oh, now I'm getting nervous. Now, if you were in my house, you could smell that lime marmalade I've just made. Do you want some lime marmalade? Bring in your marmalade.

Bring in yourself. Bring in everything. We'll show you some viral videos. We'll maybe make this one into a viral video. You won't ever see it because you're not on the internet. You will take our word for it. Yeah, great.

In exchange for some barmalade, Barbara's marmalade. You bring a jar of that in, okay? Yeah, alright guys. Alright, we'll keep in touch. Barbara, we're going to show her the internet. Yes. Yes, yes. What was that about the soldier? That's a soldier and a dog. We're going to wait till you see this video.

It's going to make you cry, Barbara. Oh, alright, so no mascara. Love your word, Barb. Oh, so right. So no mascara. Love your word, Barb. Oh, so it's happening. We found our person to show some internet videos to. If you want to text us now, 4487, what's the best viral videos of all time? I'm going to compile the list.

I always feel like we're on the verge of a severe telling off when we're talking to Barbara. Yeah. I really enjoy speaking with her. This is great. Next week, we're going to play these videos to her. After eight, we'll take your submissions. But yeah, in the meantime, 4487, what does Barb need to see on the net?

The best internet videos of all time. It's tough. It's a pretty wide, wide open question, isn't it? But we'll get to that after eight. Remember to double pump the vogels. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We want to compile a list of the best viral videos ever. It's pretty hard to think of them when, think of them when you've got so many options.

But when you start listing them off, you're like, oh, they're so good. Yeah, so nailing down the top five is going to be, we're going to have to create some sort of format for this, Ben. Yeah. Or else it's just going to be wild. Wild. We won't get any sleep between now

and when we need to show our listener, Barb, who's never seen any internet videos. We're going to do this next week. It's on your shoulders to come up with the top five internet videos. And we're just going to collate a pool of them now. Then we'll break them down, and we'll have a tournament knockout session between now and the video viewing session.

Let's go to the phones. Ali, welcome. Good morning. How are you? We're doing well. How's Kapiti this morning? Yeah, a bit soggy and wet. Yeah, Ben, you're a Kapiti. You're around those parts.

Oh, my dad, yeah, my dad lives in Rao Mati Beach. Yeah, lovely part of the world. It is. We're in Palo Palomo Beach. Oh, lovely. Oh, all right. A little bit of light banter there to start the phone call. Yeah.

What internet video does Barb need to see, Ellie? I think the one that stuck with me is the Irish one when they're trying to catch the bat in the kitchen and he's going, catch it, Derry, catch it. And I just, it's funny. Catch him. Catch him, Derry. Derry, catch him. There's a

bat. Get a bat. Get a bat. Get a bat out of the house. Mom, will you get out? It sounds like Browns boys. It does. It was very good. I do like that one. We'll put that on the house. Mom, will you get out? It sounds like Mrs. Brown's boys. It does. It was very good. I do like that one. We'll put that on the list.

Thank you. See, thank you. Didn't your mom's friend not believe that Mrs. Brown's boys was a man dressed as a woman? Yeah. And you got into quite a heated argument with her.

She's like, and they tell me it's a man. I was like, yeah, it is. I think they kind of reference it in the show. I had to Google it. She's like, nah. I is. I think they kind of reference it in the show. I had to Google it. She was like, nah. I'm not believing it.

She refused to look at the screen. And you're like, here is the evidence. Whoever they is, they are right. It is a man. Yes, so keep them coming through. Text 4487. A list of videos that Barb has to see. There's some Kiwi classics as well.

Oh, no. I'm beached through. Beach stairs is a good one. My scooter outside the dairy. Neck minute. Neck minute. I mean, some of these you're kind of like. Sneezing Panda I like.

I like. That's one of my faves. One of the old Sneezing Panda. Charlie bit my fingers. Getting a lot of texts coming through. You got that one? Charlie. Charlie bit me.

Oh. Ouch. Ouch. Charlie really. Ouch Ouch Ouch Charlie I saw that last night He really locks jaw He really does lock in on that finger Charlie You gotta do it I'm gonna bite it

And he's like an evil genius He starts smiling like an evil genius afterwards Daniel welcome Hello Good to have you on Videos that Barb's gotta to see from the internet. Yes. Just pick it up when you want.

I'll hand it over to you now and you can run with the ball and tell us the video just when you want. I love the E-Y-E-S ones. What is E-Y-E-S? E-Y-E-S. E-S. How do you say yes? Y-E-S. E-S. How do you spell yes? Y-E-S.

How do you spell E-Y-E-S? E-Y-E-S. So what does that spell? E-Y-E-S. What does it spell? E-Y-E-S. I can see how they got it wrong. It's a confusing game.

E-Y-E-S. We had him on our TV show a few years ago. He was a great guy and he saw the funny side of it. We should try and get him on. E-Y-E-S. E-Y-E-S indeed, Ben, we shall. So keep coming through, 4487. A lot of text coming through for multiple girls surrounding a cup.

I haven't seen that. I don't know. That's something we want to show Barb. Is that one of our top five? No, I don't know if it'll get into the top five, but we'll see how we go. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served.

It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Yesterday, it was in an article, and you know, down the bottom, they get you with a bit of clickbait. And this one was... Oh, yeah, like, you won't believe what the cast of Friends looks like now, and you're like,

yeah, oh, no, I want to believe it. How do I get... And you go through 39 websites. One of those, but I had celebrities who'd been married multiple times. And I love it how

we have to put on the voice. Oh, and I got clicking away and then they kept building up through the celebrities that got to, you know, some of the, James Cameron,

five times. Has he been married five times? The director, five times. Kenny Rogers, five times. Knew when to hold him and walk away and all those sort of things. Billy Bob Thornton, five times as New Wind to Hold Him and Walk Away and all those sort of things.

Billy Bob Thornton, five times as well. And then they got to the Big Bangers. Larry King, who hosted CNN for many years, had a show on CNN eight times. And Elizabeth Taylor, very famous, eight times. I mean, you're more surprised when a celebrity couple stays healthily married for an extended period of time. I'm only just going to be a one marriage guy. You know?

It'd be quite controversial if you like. Actually, I'm thinking of switching it up. I don't think people come out and say, you know what, I'm going to... Maybe these people... You know, in six months' time, I might look for something new. Mainly because I know no one else will marry me.

I caught Jen at a very weak moment. But let's check it out there. Has anyone been married more than eight times is the record? Yeah, that's, well, eight's too much so surely we can't beat eight. Maybe we can't. And if we can't, well then I'll flail around and try and fill in the next

voice break. 0800 the hits 4487. We'll do a song to find. We do this once a week where we give ourselves a song to find someone. Have you been married more than eight times? Alright, we'll see if we find anyone on 100 The Hits next. We could be flailing around. We just threw

something out there and gave ourselves a song to find. Anyone out there who'd be married more than eight times? I thought this would get no one. No, I'm with you because divorce, it sounds like such a rigmarole, isn't it? Aren't you just better off living a life of passive-aggressive arguments and disdain for the person you're staying with?

No, you're not. No, you're not. No, we've gotten to this deep physical. No, you're not. If you're happy, be happy. I think it's the best way to go. Take it from me. Okay.

0800, that's a telephone number. It's a fact. We've got Kate with us on the phone. You know someone who was married multiple times? I do. My mother was married 12 times. 12 times? A dozen husbands?

Yes, a dozen husbands. And that's just the actual marriages. That's not the engagements or the live-ins. So she's had other relationships that didn't result in marriage? Yes. Oh, okay. Your mum, she's a lover, not a fighter. Absolutely.

So how many siblings do you have? I have one sibling from, I was from the first marriage, and I have a sibling from the fourth marriage. Wow. Okay. And does everyone know about, all the husbands knew about each other? It was all happening, none happening, overlapping or anything like that? It was all happening one by one?

Yeah. Some of them were aware of the past husbands. I'm not sure. I think a couple probably weren't. I mean, how did number 12 feel? He would have been like, oh, you've had 11 before me. How long is this going to last? He was actually okay with it.

He was a lovely man. Oh, that's cool. And so what was the shortest marriage that your mother had? Three months. And the longest? Do you know? About five years. Oh, well, there we go.

I mean, look, she's happy. And sometimes we're talking about this yesterday, people stay in marriages when they're not happy and they seem to think they're meant to for some reason. So as long as she was happy, that's the main thing, right? That's the main thing. It feels like your mother was treating marriage just like a normal relationship. She really leaped forward to the marriage part quickly.

She loved the wedding part and didn't go too well with the continuing the relationship part. The important part. She would have spent quite a lot on weddings over the years, then, I imagine, in her lifetime. Yes, I think she did. Would she have a new dress each wedding or just recycle? No, no, she had a new one each time.

Oh, yeah, that's got to mean many people say it's the best day of your life or she got to do it 12 times, so there you go. She certainly did. Is she still alive now? No, no, she passed away about 10 years ago. Right, okay, and she passed away married, or she divorced her 12th husband? She was divorced from her 12th husband when she passed away. So you're looking for number 13?

Yes, I think so. How old was her, so like, when she married her 12th husband, how old was she then? Oh, mid to late 60s. Right. So the weddings would have taken place from over like 30, 40 years, I imagine. Yes. That is incredible. And did it affect you?

Were you like, mum, can you just stop marrying people? No, it was an interesting life. I often got phone calls in my later life when, you know, are you sitting down? I've just got married. And you're like, the more you get married, the less surprising this is, mum. It was sort of like love Christmas, Hated Father's Day.

Oh, well, thank you so much for showing that. That's really interesting. Yeah, it was interesting. There was a few here in New Zealand and a few in America. And, yeah, it was an amazing experience, put it that way. She must be the New Zealand record holder for most amount of marriages. You're never going to beat 12. I don't think you'd beat 12. No, and so would she get the divorce settlements, would she get half of obviously what they'd come into the marriage with?

So she must have been well off. No, she tended to go from one to the next one rather quickly. When you're running those stats there's going to be a bit of overlap, isn't there? There has to be, yes. Oh, well, there we go. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. We really appreciate it. That's okay.

You're welcome. You have a lovely day. Thank you. Thank you. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. Now, we're filming a TV show for TVNZ2. It's coming soon.

It's called Dog Almighty. It's looking for New Zealand's most talented dog. $100,000 prize money for Grabs, which is pretty awesome. What I'm learning is we're shocking reality TV hosts. Don't say that. Don't say that publicly. Let the people decide that and tell us that online when it comes out. That's the best way to find out, isn't it?

You guys are terrible. I thought we were good. I think we might be the only hosts to get eliminated from the show before the season's finished. I keep waiting for that to happen mid-season. And they're like, in a shock elimination. What's this? Dominic Bowden. Here we go.

He's out and he's hosting this now. But there was a contestant early on that was auditioning for the show. And we have to have banter with him. And he was from Brazil. And Jono, you asked him how you say dog almighty in Brazilian. Yeah. To which he knew the answer, which was great. How do you say it in Spanish, right? You said how you say dog almighty in Brazilian. Yeah. To which he knew the answer, which was great. How you say it in Spanish, right?

You said how you say it in Spanish. Yeah. And he knew the answer, which was pretty awesome, but then he also pointed out that in Brazil they speak Portuguese. So just being... This is, you know, just the latest in a long line of gaffes we've had on the show. And to be fair, I don't know much about Brazil.

I know they have a popular waxing regime, the Brazilians. Don't they? They love a G-string and a sequin at their fun party they have. And they speak Portuguese. So there you go. And nuts.

They've got the big nuts, which I think are filler content for a pack of nuts. Oh, Brazil nuts. Yeah, Brazil nuts. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of Brazil nuts. And that's all I know. And now I know that they speak Portuguese as well.

But it's always like, you feel like such an idiot, don't you? I had a mate of mine, he came back from Italy and he was very, very proud. He'd learned Italian because he'd been there and we went to this cafe

and he's like, it's an Italian cafe and he was talking to all the staff in Italian and they weren't giving him much back. And then I was like, you sure it's an Italian cafe? And we looked over there and it had French. Like, one of the things was like, maybe that's why they're not giving you anything.

He's so cocky. They love this. Bonjour. Watch this. They're like, who's the crazy Italian guy talking to us? He's like, I'm speaking fluent Italian. Watch this. You're like, oh, you're not giving me much.

My old man, John Pryor, since his retirement, he's taken to learning Italian. Oh, he's been learning Italian. Yeah, which is awesome. Because they were going to Italy. So he's like, well, I need to speak fluent Italian. I was like,

well, you can get away with not doing that. But anyways, we're all filling in time before we die. Yeah, that's a good thing to learn another language, isn't it?

And we went to an Italian restaurant for dinner and the whole time the waiter's like, hey, a ciao. You wanted a pizza? You don't have to put the voice on. People won't know otherwise. They don't know what Italian sounds like.

You're not doing good things for yourself after your Brazilian comment. And dad's like Oh wow, I will spend the time ordering the food in Italian to get some practice in. So dad's like going, bonjour, bonjour, no, no, fiat. And a bar star and another coronavirus.

Mamma mia. Mamma mia, thank you, Juju. And then eventually the waiter, he stops talking Italian and he breaks character. And he's like, mate, puts on a Kiwi voice. He's like, I'm just a uni student. They just get us to put on this accent. No way.

Just for the whole vibe of the whole restaurant. I don't actually know any Italian. And I was thinking, well, surely first rule of Italian waiter club is don't drop character. But obviously your dad bamboozled him with his knowledge. Because you could tell he was like, I don't know what you bought him, mate. So he dropped it. But then he's tried to pick character back up again.

And we're like, oh, well, we know you. We know now. We know your dark secrets now. Anyway, enjoyed his commitment there. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We want to know, have you or someone you know been scammed?

There's a bit of a public service message for people out there. What to watch out for. 0800 THE HITS is the phone number. And we have an Abiko prize pack up for grabs worth $250. Natural skincare. Yeah, because Bryony, who works in the office here at the HITS radio station, she got scammed last week. She's in the studio with us now.

Bryony. Hello, thank you. A serious scamming took place. Yeah, I never thought I'd fall for one. No, because you're a millennial. You guys, you've been raised by the internet. I know, yep and they got me. So how did they get you?

How did it happen? So I was at the rugby on Saturday and they had this like text to win a Samsung TV. You know how it comes up on the screen? You're like, I like TVs. Yeah, our whole flat was like, we could do with a new TV. So we were all texting.

And then come, I think maybe Wednesday morning, I get this email saying, you've won a Samsung TV. And I was like, I've won. I never win anything. So I was like, yes. And then they were like, just fill out these details. Put your bank account in for a dollar delivery. And I was like, cool. Which is an were like, just fill out these details. Put your bank account in for a dollar delivery. And I was like, cool.

Which is an affordable delivery. Oh, it's a great delivery. Yeah, a dollar delivery. It said the TV was $290, which I should have been a wee bit like skeptical on then because I'm like, aren't they a bit more expensive than that? It's quite a cheap new TV. Yeah.

Cheap delivery, cheap TV. Oh, you're like, this is too good to be true. Yeah, can you tell I've never bought a TV before? So I was like, oh. So I put all my card details in and then as soon as I pressed submit, I was like, how did they email me?

Because I text to win the TV and I was like. It was all coming back to you. Yeah, I was like, oh no. And then like, I just knew. So you put in all your credit cards?

Yeah, everything, like the date, the little three digit number and everything. Yeah, they had and everything. So they had full control pretty much. Just coincidence that you did text for a Samsung and then that emailed you

about a Samsung. Yeah, completely coincidental and I was just like, too good to be true. Yes, it was. So got into work and I was kind of talking to everyone about it and they were like, it's definitely a scam. And I was like, oh really? And then rang the bank and I was like,

I think I've been scammed. And she was like, oh, 100%. I'm going to cancel your card now. And I was like, oh my goodness. I have so many automatic payments coming out the next day

and I was like, I need a card for this. It was just panic city and I was just like, having to get a new card. It's a stressful thing, isn't it? Yeah.

So obviously none of the money has gone out of your account? No, got them. For me once. When you came into the office, when they're like, it's definitely a scam, where you're like,

oh yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely a scam. That's what I thought. I've been onto it since the beginning. And I'm definitely not calling the bank right now. Yeah. I was just like, please pick up, please pick up. Have you been scammed?

Well, the only time I did, because I love basketball, and LeBron James a couple of years ago signed for the LA Lakers. And I was like, that was very exciting for me because he's my favourite player. And there was a website that was like, the first Lakers LeBron jerseys. I was like, I'll buy one of those. Bought it. And then a couple of days later, I was like, I'll check back up.

That site had gone. Like, it's just gone. So then obviously you just put it up to scam people like me. Because I read an article going they're not on sale for another month. Like a legitimate article. I was like, oh, hang on,

I've already bought one. And then we went back to that site and that site had gone and I had to do the same thing as Brian and I had to cancel my credit card

and all sorts. But the banks, even if they take money from your credit card, I think they pay it back to you. Oh, who do? The banks. Oh, do they?

Yeah. Oh, really? That's nice. So you can basically hand your card out to anyone you want. Oh, yeah. I don't know if that's? So you can basically hand your card out to anyone you want. I don't know if that's a common... No, I don't know that Jono's financial advice is that good there.

Because don't they, like, if a certain amount of money comes out that's quite suspicious, they're like, did you take out $5,000? Are you in Istanbul right now? Yeah. Maybe I am. Buying 900 pairs of Nikes. Yeah, well, let's throw it out there.

Thank you, Bryony, for sharing your story with us. No problem. Oh, 100 the hits. While you're there, actually, can you just write down your number on here? Yeah, we do it after every interview. We do it. There's a payment coming your way, actually.

Yeah, just that little digit. No way, really? Yeah, yeah, great. Oh, 100 the hits. Oh, 4487 on the text. Have you ever been scammed or someone you know been scammed? Love to hear from you this morning. Let's head to Sheridan in Auckland.

Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, matey. How are you? I'm great. How are you going? Oh, we're doing well. Lovely to hear from you this morning. Let's head to Sheridan in Auckland. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, matey. How are you? I'm great. How are you going? Oh, we're doing well. Lovely to have you on with us. What happened to you? Look, I run a busy chiropractic practice

and I got an email through to my practice address of which my practice manager scanned over it and said, oh, yeah, yeah, and forwarded it to me. And I had five minutes up my sleeve and thought, oh, yeah, I'll take care of that. And it was from the NZTA. And they had basically copied everything saying your car registration is due and click on this link. And I thought, oh, and I don't have time to run out and check my car.

And I thought, oh, yeah, yeah, probably is. So I clicked on the link and it took me all through to, yep, you're halfway done. You're nearly done. And basically, total scan. They got my driver's license number. Credit card details. They got the little CVC. They got it all. Oh, jeez. Once they got your CVC, they got you by the... Wow. Something to watch out for.

Did the bank pay you back the money they stole? Well, they didn't steal any. So thankfully, as soon as I kind of... What I did was I... Once I paid it, I thought, I like to go into my bank and just check that it's gone straight out because any time I've paid anything

via a government kind of website, it shows up straight away on my credit card. And so when I went to my bank and jumped on my credit card, the cost wasn't there. And I went, oh. So I had a room full of people and I was absolutely stressing, but I managed to ring the bank immediately and just say, look, I'm pretty sure I've been scammed,

and they blocked my card straight away. Oh, that's good. And I loved it. We had the story with the sound effects as well. Yeah. The thought-provoking sound effects. We're going to flick you out a Nabico Prize Pack Natural Skin Care and Supplements Package worth over $250, all right?

Oh, my God. Amazing. And actually, just as a side note, if you go to the NZTA website, they actually do have a warning there. So for anyone who's worried about their car rego, just go to the website and check it out. Oh, thank you very much. Appreciate that, Sheridan.

I mean, if you're a scammer, it's a numbers game, isn't it? It's a number. You do enough of them, eventually you're going to land. It's like going to the seafood buffet enough times. One day you're going to get food poisoning, isn't it? It's a numbers game. Thank you for your call, mate. Appreciate it.

Let's head to Wanganui. Jack, you're on the air. Welcome. You got scammed. Your you for your call, mate. Appreciate it. Let's head to Wanganui. Jack, you're on the air. Welcome. You got scammed. Your credit card got stolen, Jack. Yeah. And then what did they do? Oh, Jack.

What happened to Jack? Apparently his credit card got stolen and someone was pay-waving all over town up to $80. See, pay-waves increased during COVID too. Like, I think the limit's up to $150, $200 now. Oh, really? Well, because they didn't want people touching the terminals. Pay wave is dangerous if you own the card. But you've seen me just flashing my phone all the time.

Bang, bang, bang. It's like, hey, look at me with the guns out spending cash. Aaron, how are you, buddy? From New Plymouth. It's good to have you on, Aaron. G'day, how are you? Yeah, good. Now,mouth. It's good to have you on, Aaron. G'day, how are you? Yeah, good. Now, we spoke to Bryony just before he works in the office,

got scammed after she text-entered for a TV competition, then got an email saying she had won the TV, and you're saying they're connected. Yeah, so, I mean, I haven't been scammed, but we've had it happen at work where we'll be sitting in the smoker room chatting about something, and we had a classic one day

where we were talking about spiders, just something random. And that night when we went home, three of us on our Facebook posts, you know when you get those ads flashing up, they're all about spiders. No way. And I was like, what's that? And then so a couple of weeks later we were there again, and we had some weird conversations.

We were talking about alien eggs. And the same night, another three guys had stuff come up on their Facebook about alien eggs. And it's like, what's going on here, you know? So your phones are obviously somehow listening and recording what you're doing all day, every day, you know? And that's how she's been scammed with the link. She's typed in, obviously, some link to that Samsung drawer, and they've just picked up on that. So it's a bit weird, isn't it? Oh, and I tell you who the only winner out of this scam topic is,

Samsung, who's had multiple mentions, haven't paid a cent for this advertising. Well, some of the advertising they may not want in regards to the scamming. Scamsung, more like it. Well, they're not still the scamming, though, are they? But that's a very good point. You're not the only one to say that.

Many texts coming through saying the spyware on your phones is always listening, and so maybe they heard Briony talking about the TV. That goes to some scammer who's hacked into it, and then they send the email. Boom. Boom. Wow.

Thank you for your call, mate. Appreciate it, Aaron. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I was driving with you in the car the other day, Ben, and we were stuck behind someone at traffic lights and the light phasing had turned green. And they hadn't noticed the light turning green

and it had been, you know, a few seconds. I was like, honk your horn. You're like, no. I was like, honk your horn. It is your God-given right to honk that damn horn right now and do it aggressively and long. I'm not an aggressive person and I don't feel like,

I feel like they'll notice and if I do, I feel like I just want a little, just a little, hey. Ben's, he's not that horny. He would rather sit through four light phases

than have to honk a horn. I hate people that aggressively honk horns like that. You know, it's like, all right, that's what they're there for. No, you're a,

I just drive around just waiting to aggressively hold on. You get so impatient. We were, like, going out of the car park building yesterday, and there was someone, obviously, who had a problem with their ticket, and I was parked there, and John was behind you, so you see him go this lane, and he goes, oh, no, he's reversed out, and he goes in the next lane,

and then that person had a thing, so he's back in the other lane. You're such an efficient driver, aren't you? Oh, yeah, I'm such an impatient human being. Sometimes I just, like, I love honking horns so much, sometimes I just drive around, I've got nowhere to go, I'm such an impatient human being. Sometimes I just like, I love honking horns so much, sometimes I just drive around and I've got nowhere to go

just waiting to honk my horn at someone. They should have two options. I reckon they should have an aggressive horn option on your left hand side and a little, oh mate,

you know, put your phone down, the lights have changed. A polite little reminder. Yeah, you're right. Like a suggestion horn, like, hey mate, you might not have known

but the lights turned green. Yeah, or like, hello to someone, you know, hello Like a suggestion horn. Like, hey, mate. You might not have known, but the lights turn green. Yeah, or like hello to someone. You know, hello, rather than. You know, we are real aggressive. Because you need like precision control with your hand to get a good little doot-doot, isn't it? Otherwise, you're like, sometimes you want to do a little polite. And it's.

Yeah. It really gets away on you. Sorry, sorry. They're like, all right, all right. And the people get really annoyed, you know. People are pulling their fingers back at you and all sorts. You're like, sorry, I was just trying to. So for people like Ben who are a little timid,

don't want to push the horn. You need a calm mode, a suggestive mode, and a full-blown road rage mode. Imagine you're one of those people too, that you'd lean over and use the horn, even if you're not driving. There's nothing worse than that. I've done that.

I'm the driver. Don't come in. Everyone's got to think it's me. That's caused many a marital discussion. When you're trying to leave a concert or something and Gene's driving, I'm like, just don't do it. And then the people look back at you driving. You're like, was it me?

Was this guy here? But they don't know that. They just think, oh, you're aggressively trying to get a bar. Imagine if there was a passenger side horn. Oh, no, that would be useful. My favourite moment is when you're at a traffic gridlocked intersection and someone's found themselves stuck in the middle of the intersection in the light phasing changes.

And they're in no man's land. But that set of traffic that's got the green then, they're just waiting to honk their horn. And then some of them, Paul, literally just drive up right to them just to go, hey, buddy. I can't go anywhere. I know you can't move.

I'm going to put this extra acid on you just because I can. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. The country woken up to a cold snap. Snow, expected heavy snow in several parts of the country today. It's a very cold one.

Are you a skier? I can't imagine you skiing on the mountain. No, I wish I did. It wasn't something that my family ever did. No, we weren't a skiing family either. I would have loved to have learned how to ski, but I haven't really had that chance. Producer Juliet, you look like you're from a skiing family.

I sure am, buddy. You hit the slopes. Are you a skier or a snowboarder? I'm a skier, but I once learned how to snowboard and I looked like a kid on Christmas when I managed to turn the board. It's really hard to learn how to snowboard. Skiing looks easier than snowboarding, is it?

I think there's a saying where skiing's easier to pick up and harder to get good at, whereas snowboarding's hard to pick up but easy to get good at. It looks really fun on movies and TV shows, but then I imagine like the cold or just snow would get in your underpants and... Yeah, especially if you bail.

But as a kid I grew up, I had toe warmers so they're little sachets that you put in your socks and they keep your little tussies all warm. Oh right, there we go. What a pampered life. Toe warmers. And she changed from her ski suit and put on a wetsuit and dived into the ocean of celebrity gossip.

Came up with a couple of crabs and some juicy gossip. What have we got, Virginia? Yeah, so Gordon Ramsay on his TV show Uncharted, he is going around the South American rainforest, and the latest thing that he's eaten and caught in the wild is a tarantula. You pull off that first little leg. Man, it's this firm, sweet, almost crab meat stroke chicken wing texture

and really tasty. Just forget the word tarantula. Close your eyes and think chicken wing. Well, that's probably the thing. Half of it is probably the mental thing going into it. If it's something that they cook and eat over there and if he was told it was chicken, he probably would have gone,

oh, that's nice chicken. True. Ramsey's one episode off eating like an HDMI cable. something that they cook and eat over there, and if he was told it was chicken, he probably would have gone, oh, that's nice chicken. True. Yeah. Ramsey's one episode off eating, like, an HDMI cable. I'm in Peru where they marinate USB sticks, so I thought I would try. He's going to run out of stuff to eat. Yeah, exactly.

Every week you're, like, coming with a new crazy Gordon Ramsey eating feat. Yeah, and once he ate, like, a swamp rat, which was the size of, like, oh, probably a dog or something. They actually, like, the name sounds worse than they look. They look quite cute, sort of gerbil looking. Oh yeah, we did look it up, didn't we? Yeah. We ate a tarantula once.

Did you? It was dried. Yeah, it was a kiwi company actually that were drying insects and stuff. Good for protein and stuff. Yes, and they cover it in chocolate sometimes as well. Yeah, I don't know if this one was particular. I think you're right though. Yeah, and it was, yeah. I was chewing it and it was like,

the legs were poking out of my mouth. I was chewing it. Mix of saliva and tarantula leaks. And the US and Australia are considering banning TikTok. So India has banned it. And it's all because of security concerns and they claim it's sharing user data with the Chinese government, communist government.

So they're thinking, well, do we ban it? What do we do? Because you obviously add in all your details and who knows where that's going. Chinese government collecting intel on all those catchy 15-second convulsive dance routines. There's obviously something to it. If Australia and the USA and India are all like,

oh, it could be going. Imagine that outrage in America, though, because a lot of big TikTok stars are from there, oh, it could be going. Imagine that outrage in America though, you know, because a lot of big TikTok stars are from there. Charli D'Amelio. If they actually get rid of that app.

What would happen to her? Oh no. All of the TikTok stars? I think Charli D'Amelio would be right on top of her billions and billions of dollars. She'd probably move

on to another app. But man, I was saying that a few weeks ago and you're like, you can't say that. Can't say that about the Chinese

communist government. You know, they're listening. But the theory being, I think there might be microphones in this room. They could have hacked this room. But the theory being that they collect intel on these people now,

young kids, in many years to come. They'll be the future leaders of the world. And they'll be like, hey man, remember I had you in a video gyrating your pelvis to Jason Derulo, and now you're the president. Well, you don't want that kid to get out. That's a very good point. For more spa, you can head to the hits.co.nz.

New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's John Owen Battle the Hits. Hey, don't call us, we call you. It's a game show where we phone people at random and bombard them with questions in order to win a prize. Basically, it's the easiest game show ever invented.

If you've got a mouth and can pick up a phone, well, then you're going to win this game. Let's try and call someone at random right now. Amber Court Motel, New Plymouth, Raewyn speaking. Oh, Raewyn. I haven't talked to a Raewyn, Raywin speaking. Oh, Raywin. I haven't talked to a Raywin in a long time. Oh, really? And I love a good Raywin.

Never met a bad one. And you're not going to let us down, are you, Raywin? It's Jono and Ben from The Hits here. We've got a quick game show we want to play with you. We're going to ask you four questions. You get all four right, you'll win a prize. Oh, really? What's the prize?

It's called, it's $40 worth of hell pizza. Oh, God, what happens if you don't eat pizza? Who doesn't eat pizza? They've got the chicken tenders, they've got motorbites, they've got all sorts of other stuff as well, if you want. Nah, not me. None of that... What? But I've got a whanau that will definitely eat it.

Oh, good, OK, we'll find you. Give that one to someone else. Have you never had the joy of pizza in your mouth, Raewyn? I don't like white bread or white flour. What about chicken tenders? No. Yeah, it depends if they're coated in white flour. They've got lovely ribs as well.

Raewyn, we can get into the menu later. You're like, she wants to know the Ts and Cs of the prize before even embarking on the game show. Yeah, I know. I know. Fair enough.

That's my priority. It is. I thought it was going to be another trip to Paris or something. Well, what's better than a trip to Paris is a trip to Hell Pizza.

It's only down the road. Yep. This is Don't Call Us. We'll call you. And by the way, Paris is quite a long way away. The convenience of Hell Pizza just 10 minutes away.

And it's riddled with COVID Europe. You don't want to be over there at the moment. Raewyn, here's your first question. Grant, who is the head of Team New Zealand? Dalton. Oh, jeez. Well done. No wonder she wanted to know what the prize was. She was so confident she was going to win the game. Well done. You didn't even have to wait for the multi-choice.

Well done. Timaru is in which island? South. Oh. Raewyn, spade to spade. There's no mucking around with you, Raewyn. I like Raewyn. You got $20 health pizza.

Here we go. Next question. Gordon Ramsay is a celebrity what? Chef. I love you, Aaron. All right, last question, Raymond. We'll get this over and done with quickly. This might be one that'll stump you.

Post Malone is a what? Oh. A what? Is a what? A post. A person by the name of Post Malone is a what? Post Malone. Is he a musician?

I have no idea. Probably. That's good enough. He will goone. Is he a musician? I have no idea. Probably. That's good enough. He will go, yes, he's a musician. Well, that's good enough for us, Raewyn. You're going to Hell Pizza, $40 worth. We know you don't even want the prize, but now we've burdened you with it. You're welcome.

Thank you. You hold the line. We'll grab your details from you, Raewyn. It's all thanks to Hell Pizza. Time is running out to try Hell Pizza's Reuben Pizza loaded with... Raewyn doesn't like pizza, Ben. Loaded with beef brisket pastrami. You won't want to miss it unless you're Raywin.

Hold the line, Raywin. Thank you. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hips. We call a different town or place. Well, we do it one a day on this show. It's going to take us over two years to do this. And we call it the A to Z of New Zealand.

The A to Z of New Zealand. That's right. Two and a half years it's going to take us to do this. And I tell you what, already we have been around more towns than the top twins on this 73rd nationwide tour. You're right. We've covered a lot of New Zealand. A lot of New Zealand.

Today we're heading to Southland. Chatton is located in the eastern Southland region. Ironically, being in Southland, I don't think much chatting will go on at Chatton. Only two syllables max per conversation. If you want to say anything more than that, well, then it's not worth being said in Chatton. And there's not much online about Chatton except for the long-range forecast.

I can tell you today a high of nine degrees, currently four degrees. Next Wednesday, would you like the forecast for Chatton? Next Wednesday. No, I'm okay, actually. Let's just call Chatton and find out a bit more information than your long-range forecast. Hello, Jamie speaking.

Hello, is that the residence of the Smith residents? Yes, it is. The Smiths live in this residence? They do. How long have the Smiths enjoyed residing in this residence? For a while now. It's a good residence to reside in. It sure is.

It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh, how are you? We're doing all right. We're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing it one a day. Yeah. And now we're calling your town, and this is the number we've picked at random. Oh, cool.

So tell us about chatting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get chatting about chatting. Give us the big bangers. What should we do in Chattin'? Well, if you are in the farming industry, that's probably what you get up to. It's a farming place?

Farming place, a bit of sheep and beef, a bit of arable farming. And is there any shops in Chattin'? Like, if we come to Chatton, what should we do? You'll probably blink and miss it, but... Oh, so there's not much there, really? No, not at Chatton. At Atama, we've got a school, a church and a hall.

Yeah, right, no pub? No. You can go to Waikaka, you could go back to Goa, or you could go all the way to Riversdale. You know, it amazes me. We've been doing this for a few months now. It amazes me how many towns in New Zealand just have a school and a pub. Some of them have school pubs.

No, well, we've just got a church and a school. Yeah, right. And how long have you lived in Chatton? Well, my family have been on this farm for 100 years. Oh, wow. So I've lived here for 10. Oh, jeez. So what do you do in your spare time?

You obviously just hang out on the farm. Hang out on the farm. I've got two wee kids, so we do that. I bet those kids are hard kids. They've got to get thrown into everything. Are they the sort of kids that will walk around in winter in shorts and bare feet, that sort of thing? Yes, I've got one in shorts today.

And how cold is it in Southland at the moment? Today it is it's meant to be a high of nine where paddocks are soaking wet because it's been raining for three days. It's almost too balmy, isn't it? I can see why the kids are in shorts. She's pearler. So we're up here in Auckland and we're wearing puffer jackets in our air-conditioned studio.

That's our software. Oh, no, well, we've got the fire going. So Chatton, Chatton, you'll blink and you'll miss it. That's the town slogan. If you blink, you'll miss it. Yeah, well, it's probably more, yeah, Chatton is probably just the area. Right, so you could actually, if you just shut your eyes for a minute, you'll miss it. Yes, pretty much.

But not driving, though. No. Not recommended if you're the driver. Hey, you've been an absolute superstar. That's all right. You look after Chatton for us. Hopefully one day we'll get to meet. Well, we will one day.

You never know. It probably won't happen. If you are having porridge for breakfast, you most likely, it's come from Chetton. Oh, really? Because that's where we grow lots of oats down here. Oh, see, that's really interesting. Yeah, most of the oats that come from this area go to Harroways.

Oh, effing oats. Bloody oats. I was going to say, yeah, we're racing to that gag, but you went for the heifer. All right, well, that's good to know. Thank you for chatting about chatting. Awesome. Bye, have a good morning.

Go look after your hard children. Have a great day. Bye, you too. Bye. Bye. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram.

The A to Z of New Zealand. We're phoning every town and thank you for playing that in time, Juju. I didn't know if you had that. You had panic in your eyes. Did I? Yeah, did I have panic in my eyes? I don't know, you just stared at me. I enjoyed watching that because you put quite a lot on Producer Juliet without telling her what you were going to do.

I was like, oh, what's this guy? How's this going to play out? But it played out well. I just have to pre-empt what you guys are thinking. Yeah, well, you do well at it. You do well at it. You played the music correctly. Sometimes we just point at Producer Juliet and just see what she plays off the computers. Oh, well, you do well at it. You do well at it. You played the music correctly. Sometimes we just point at Producer Juliet

and just see what she plays off the computers. Oh, that's when I get panicked. Yes, this is the ADZ of New Zealand calling every town and city in Aotearoa. It's going to take us two and a half years. Ben, I don't even know if we'll be together in two and a half years. We're only staying together for the kids.

For the ADZ. Until we complete the ADZ, then we're done. Okay, that's the rules. But today we're heading to Chattin'. Chattin's in the South Island. And ironically, being in Southland, there's probably not much Chattin'. It all involves one, maybe two-syllable conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. There's as much Chattin' that goes on there. And if it's not worth being said in two syllables, well, then it's not worth being said in chatting. There's not much intel online about chatting except for the long-range weather forecast. Would you like that? I would, actually, yeah.

Today's high. It's going to be about nine degrees. A lot of rain in chatting. And I can tell you the weather for next Wednesday, if you want to know. Oh, I'm a good, thank you. Let's just make a call to chatting and find out a little bit more

than the long-range weather forecast. Hello, Jamie speaking. Hello, is that the residence of the Smith residents? Yes, it is. The Smiths live in this residence? They do. How long have the Smiths enjoyed residing in this residence?

Oh, for a while now. Oh, good. It's a good residence to reside in. It sure is. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Hi, how are you? We're doing all right. We're calling every town and city in New Zealand.

We're doing it one a day. Yeah. And now we're calling your town, and this is the number we've picked at random. Oh, cool. So tell us about chatting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get chatting about chatting. Give us the big bangers.

What should we do in Chattin'? Well, if you are in the farming industry, that's probably what you get up to. It's a farming place? Farming place, a bit of sheep and beef, a bit of arable farming. And is there any shops in Chattin'? Like, if we come to Chatton, what should we do?

You'll probably blink and miss it, but... Oh, so there's not much there, really? No, not at Chatton. At Atama, we've got a school, a church and a hall. Yeah, right, no pub? No. If you go to Waikaka, you could go back to Goa, or you could go all the way to Riversdale. You know, it amazes me.

We've been doing this for a few months now. It amazes me how many towns in New Zealand just have a school and a pub. Some of them have school pubs. No, well, we've just got a church and a school. Yeah, right. And how long have you lived in Chatton? Well, my family have been on this farm for 100 years. Oh, wow.

I've lived here for 10. Oh, jeez. So what do you do in your spare time? You obviously just hang out on the farm. Hang out on the farm. I've got two wee kids, so we do that. I bet those kids are hard kids. They've got to get thrown into everything.

Are they the sort of kids that will walk around in winter in shorts and bare feet, that sort of thing? Yes, I've got one in shorts today. And how cold is it in Southland at the moment? Today it is it's meant to be a high of nine where paddocks are soaking wet because it's been raining for three days.

It's almost too balmy, isn't it? I can see why the kids are in shorts. She's pearler. So we're up here in Auckland and we're wearing puffer jackets in our air-conditioned studio. That's our software. Oh, no, well, we've got the fire going. So Chatton, Chatton, you'll blink and you'll miss it. That's the town slogan. If you blink, you'll miss it.

Yeah, well, it's probably more, yeah, Chatton is probably just the area. Right, so you could actually, if you just shut your eyes for a minute, you'll miss it. Yes, pretty much. But not driving, though. No. Not recommended if you're the driver. Hey, you've been an absolute superstar. That's all right.

You look after Chattin for us. Hopefully one day we'll get to meet. Well, we will one day. You never know. It probably won't happen. No, we won't. If you are having porridge for breakfast, you're most likely, it's come from Chetton.

Oh, really? Because that's where we grow lots of oats down here. Oh, see, that's really interesting. Yeah, most of the oats that come from this area go to Harrowways. Oh, the effing oats. Bloody oats. I was going to say, yeah, we're racing to that gag, but you went for the heifer.

All right, well, that's good to know. Thank you for chatting about chatting. Awesome. Bye, have a good morning. Go look after your hard children. Have a great day. Bye, you too. Bye.

Bye. That was really interesting. Oh, she was great. We just phone these people at random. They don't expand their call. And she just, they always step up to the mark. She delivered. That was that with the oats bit of information.

More painful than your alarm clock. It's Joddo and Ben on the Hats. Yesterday I was pouring down with rain and I found myself stranded in between the dairy and my car. It was about a 25-metre distance. Oh, yeah. And it was the middle of the pouring rain and there was nowhere to shelter

apart from a Spark pay phone box spark why are they still around yeah who's still using spark pay phone boxes you're right at all yeah it's a great place to shelter from the rain are they just like a wi-fi sort of connection now or something nothing but sure no there was still a phone in there it still looked like you could use it um do you remember phone boxes produced have you ever used a phone box I think maybe once and like

it didn't work but I just remember going in there and it just smelt like urine and it was tagged

it was also a public toilet and it's a great place for like I imagine millennials to

vape and tongue kiss maybe get to second base third base maybe if they're feeling like it it was a great

place for unsuspecting superheroes to get dressed as well. I don't know what else they're used for now. But then I went on to, because I got home and I looked on the Spark website, they're still making 300,000 prepaid cards for them. So people are still using the phone boxes. Really?

Yeah. Probably just boomers, wouldn't it be? There's 2,500 of them across the country. 2,500? Yeah. Probably just boomers, wouldn't it be? There's 2,500 of them across the country. 2,500? Yeah. Great. I suppose people who are having like torrid affairs might use them. Yeah, that's true.

Untraceable. I mean, there's still got to use them. Some sort of deals around town, unsavory deals maybe. Although, would those calls be recorded? Oh, you might be right. You know? You know? Because they're public property, I guess you could say.

Or owned by Spark. I thought they just left them out because they're public property, I guess you could say, owned by Spark. I thought they just left them out because they were just too problematic to take down. So we'll sort that out another day. What do we do with them? We might as well just leave them up. They're part of the landscape now. Okay, 0800 the hits.

Can anyone call us from a Spark payphone box this morning? Apparently they take credit cards too, I was looking, on the Spark website. There's a whole lot of information about them here. Okay, you want someone to call us from why? Just to see if they're still going? Still hanging in there. Can you put your credit card in?

You can't call them though, can you? No, we wanted to do a thing on the radio, didn't we? We'd call it the payphone and we'd phone the boxes and if someone answered them, they'd win. If you answer them within a couple of rings, it could be anywhere in the country, if anyone picked it up. Would have been a great radio promo. It would have, the payphone.

Yeah. We could still pitch it. Hey, consider this the pitch. If someone sparks listening, what do you reckon? How about it? Yeah, I think it's a great idea. I'm on board. Oh, someone's calling us right now on 0800 The Hits.

Are they calling from a payphone? I have no idea, but Heidi's speaking to them. Producer Heidi. Are they from a payphone, Producer Heidi? I can't hear her. She's in a soundproof booth. I can see her lips moving. I can try and lip read.

Oh, yeah. Here we go. I think she's a goer. Okay. Well, 800 of that. Sarah, are you calling from a payphone right now? No, I'm not. I was listening to you this morning.

I was saying the only reason they can use them is because people in prison use them. It's the only way they can get people's contact to the outside world. Oh, are their payphones in prison? That's all they've got, yeah. The prison is all they're allowed to use. Oh, I think that's probably fair enough, isn't it, to have them in there? Yeah, it makes sense.

Oh, unless they stick their mobiles in, I suppose. Oh, well, we all know how they do that. Is that true? Do you know someone in prison, Sarah? Yeah, I suppose. Oh, well, we all know how they do that. Is that true? Do you know someone in prison, Sarah? Yeah, I do. How do they get cell phones in? Is it the traditional way that we all joke and laugh about?

I really don't know. I just know people use boat cards and stuff. Oh, right. Some prisoners do have them out. Oh, there you go. There's still a need for them in prison?

Yeah. If not, keep them going for the prisoners, I say. Yeah. Do the prisoners still use them for the prisoners, I say. Yeah. Do the prisoners still use them when they get out of prison outside as well? I don't really know. Hey, thank you for your call, Sarah.

Appreciate it. Fine chat this morning. Here we go. Not a morning person. Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Oh, this is called synchronised answering. Synchronised answers.

Fun game where you phone up, you win a prize, and our mission, Ben, is to steal that prize off the fine listener by synchronising up our answers. A lot harder for us to do than you would think. Yeah, it is quite difficult. Now, here's just speaking of things that are in sync. I saw a video yesterday. My daughter Poppy played me a video of a goat on the internet with two heads.

What? A legit goat? Yeah, it was a legit goat. Wow. It wasn't an illegitimate goat. The parents wanted the goat. But two heads. And she had a good question.

She's like, if one head eats a meal, is the other head full? Because there's two brains operating. So if one goat head eats the meal, supposedly, I don't know the biological makeup of the goat, the stomach could be full. Would that stomach be connected to the other brain as well, wouldn't it? Yeah.

Would they both be thinking two different thoughts? They'd have to, yeah. Well, I want to go that way, I want to go that way. They'd have to go, all right, mate, well, you go that way now. There'd be a lot of inner turmoil, wouldn't there, with a double-headed goat. Yeah, stuff to think about this morning. There we go.

It's quite early in the morning for that stuff. Too much to think about, actually. Let's welcome Josh from Christchurch to New Zealand's Breakfast. Your thoughts on the double-headed goat, Josh? Double-headed goat? I'm sure that'd be pretty legitimate, right? Yeah, it's a legitimate thing. Legitimate?

It's a legitimate thing. That was my first question. Illegitimate goats on this show. All right, Josh, so far you've got a double pass to Reading Cinemas, but we could take that off you if we synchronise our answer. Producer Juliet, what's the first question? All right, name for me a water sport. Surfing.

Ooh, water polo. Yeah, well, that's true. Quite a violent sport, water polo, isn't it? They look so innocent above the water, but what's happening underneath? Apparently, someone was talking to me about it the other day, apparently there's all sorts of kicking and all sorts of shenanigans going on. Grabbing and dropping. Illegitimate stuff, John.

You play water polo, Josh? I do not. No, it's a very specific sport to play, isn't it? And I would have been very surprised if you do play water polo. So far, the tickets are still yours. Next question, though, producer Juliette. An element on the periodic table. Iron.

Well done. Sink and iron. I think. I don't know. Science, I really tapped in. Ben was like, I don't even know any elements on the periodic table.

I hope I got one right. You still got the movie tickets, Josh. Next category, Juju. An app that you'd find on your phone. Instagram. Oh, so close. Teetering in the same field. Should we go one more?

Let's go one more category. All right, name for me a pink song. Oh, jeez. Play enough of them. Raise your glass. Oh, there you go, Josh. You have the tickets. Congratulations, you're going to the movies.

Thank you. Good on you. What are you up to today in Christ you go, Josh. You have the tickets. Congratulations. You're going to the movies. Thank you. Hey, good on you. What are you up to today in Christchurch, Josh? I'm just here to pick up one of my guys and then hopefully head back to work and not get too wet. Nice one of my guys. You sound like a mafia boss. Got to pick up one of the guys.

We're going to do it. You're going to have a wonderful day, Josh. Thanks for listening to the show, mate. And you. Thank you. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed.

Yeah, this is, while you're waking, we're breaking the news. You're waking and breaking the news this morning. This is what the news would sound like if it was made up as they went along. All the news stories from overnight. Nearly correct information. That's what we like to provide in this segment. We sort of teeter. We mention a topic and we teeter around it. And hopefully we don't make anything up along the way. So Melbourne and Australia, Victoria,

it's going into lockdown for six weeks after a spike in COVID-19 cases. Have they been in lockdown previously or a form of? Yeah, like a form of lockdown and they're going back into that same thing again. So hospitality businesses, for example, will return to takeaway only. Visitors will not be allowed in homes

and public gatherings are limited to just two people. So pretty strict sort of lockdown again after having done a sort of lockdown already. The only people happy about this are the owners and operators of Zoom who are like, we're back, we're back, baby. It's crazy. So six weeks is a long,

how long were we all in lockdown for? It was about six weeks, wasn't it? I think it was five and a half, we're back. We're back, baby. So six weeks is a long... How long were we all in lockdown for? It was about six weeks, wasn't it? I think it was five and a half, maybe. Yeah. My friend, I keep mentioning him. He's in Chile. 17 weeks this week in lockdown. Still in lockdown.

In an apartment. You forget about that, don't you? Because you kind of feel like life's kind of got back to a bit of normality. Well, for us. Yeah. The rest of the world's a catastrophe. Well, I feel sorry for the people of Melbourne,

but hey, it's probably better than the virus spreading. Yeah, exactly. I'm also back home to do it with coronavirus. National Party MP Hamish Walker, he's in a bit of hot water. He's leaked confidential information about patients who had COVID-19. He's known now as the leaker. I'm also known as the leaker around here, but that's my prostate issues. That's why we had you get a nappy on Friday, not to do with bra plunker, just because you're known as the leaker. here, but that's my prostate issues. So we had you get a nappy on Friday, not to do with bra plunket,

just because you're known as the leaker. I'm a bit leaky. I have to really, Juju, I have to use every muscle in my body to keep liquid in. Really? Wow. The older you get, it just sinks. It's like my dog right now. It was easy for him to do a breakfast show because he's up nine times during the night. And speaking of coronavirus-related content, Ben,

see, Air New Zealand aren't taking any more bookings on their flights at the moment. Yeah, for three weeks coming home, people can't book on Air New Zealand, although I did hear that other airlines are still offering flights, which seems a bit rank. So this is to keep up with the hotel room demand. We don't know if we can house everybody, right? Yeah, I think so, yeah. And also, I guess it's costing quite a lot for the government as well.

We've got to stop forking out these five-star hotels. Many bar bills and all sorts. Next year's budget. Okay, so we spent about $390 billion on five-star hotel rooms for people who just came back and stayed and left again. And finally... Is there anything stopping you? If you're a dual Australian New Zealand citizen,

is there anything stopping you flying between the two countries non-stop and just staying in nice hotels? Probably not. Probably not. You could say two weeks here, two weeks back there, two weeks here. Yeah. I don't know how long you could do that for,

but you might have found a loophole in the system. The leaker, he's found a loophole. Speaking of which, make this quick. I need to go. And finally, in scrolling through your feed, things that have been happening in the last 24 hours. Usain Bolt,

the fastest man in the world, he's had a baby girl a couple of weeks ago and they didn't announce the name until today. So the first name, Olympia, which is pretty cool

because he's an Olympic athlete. But have a guess. If your last name was Bolt, Jono, what would be the middle name that you would go for? Lightning. Exactly. Well done. Oh, it should be a Lightning Bolt. Oh my God. I thought you'd get it.

You did. You didn't let me down. So yeah, a pretty cool name. A very cute baby. Congratulations. But they've gone with Lightning Bolt. That is a great name. Didn't you have a friend whose Danger was his middle name? He wanted to. He got so close to it. He was about to change it legally to Danger. Yeah, I was like, Danger's my middle name? He wanted to. He got so close to it. He was about to change it legally to Danger. Yeah, I was like, Danger's my middle name.

Oh, my God. Was he wanting to name his kid? His kid, yeah, his kid. But his wife didn't quite see the funny side of that. My name's Dick's, my middle name, Richard. And that probably is quite appropriate. It is very. Ben, you're Ross.

Oh, Ross, yeah. Ross. You couldn't get a more boring middle name if you tried. Nothing more fun. Nothing fun about that. There's no correlation to Ross. Oh, Ross, yeah. Ross. You can get a more boring middle name if you try. Nothing more fun. Nothing fun about that. There's no correlation to Ross. No, my dad had it, and for no reason, no family connection, he decided to pass it on to me.

He wasn't a huge fan. He's like, I've lived with this Ross burden for my life. I now bestow it on you. Apologies to any Rosses listening right now. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy. No, what's up WhatsApp spy.co.nz. All right, ready to kick the royals right up their bucking and palace.

Have you got any royal news, Juju? No, no royal news today, unfortunately. But I'm very excited to announce, personally, Harry Styles is the latest person to be the voiceover on the app Calm. So Calm is basically an app that helps you with meditating, falling asleep, relaxing. And he's going to be reading a bedtime story. And I'm so excited. And they've only released

this. Hello. I'm Harry Styles. Oh, amazing. Sorry, I'm just living for this. It sounds very sexually charged, doesn't it? Out of the gates. Off for the walk. That's what people are saying. They're like, oh my gosh, make sure you don't sexualise it.

And then also people are saying, sorry, calm in advance if the app crashes because there will just be so many Harry Styles fans just downloading the app now. Having him seductively. What does he seductively read? Books? Yeah, I think it's going to be like a bedtime story, children's books type thing. Yeah, very relaxing. I should get like All Blacks or something to read them. What would Richie McCall's be?

Because you know, sometimes they talk a bit sort of, you know, some of them, not all of them, that's a generalisation, but some of them don't like speaking too much.

Out of the gate and off for a walk with Terry McClary from Donaldson's Dairy. Now, bedtime stories are quite interesting. You know, as a parent, it's sort of, you know, for whatever reason, your duty to quite interesting. As a parent, it's sort of, for whatever reason,

your duty to read stories to children. Yeah, because you're hanging out with the kids, teaching them about books and stuff like that. So anyway, Poppy, I still read a book to Poppy. But then Oscar, as I've said before, he's the oldest one. He reads Harry Potter to me. But then I just lie on his bed and I fall asleep within about 30 seconds. And he's like, wake up, you're falling asleep again, idiot.

And he gets about half a page into Harry Potter. So he reads it out to you? He does. Wow. And it puts me to sleep. It puts him to bed. Good night, Dad. Roll reversal.

It gives him his bottle of Heineken and then it puts him to bed. But that was the other thing too because sometimes I'm like, man, these books are long. I'd miss chunks of pages. So you go dot from one page and like fast forward through the story just paraphrase the story

nothing wrong with that well that's why these audible books are doing a job for you maybe I'll play sexy Harry Styles he can read to the kids now that sounds great

and David Beckham's his latest hobby is beekeeping so in lockdown he installed a beehive in his garden and now he's posted photos of him

with the full kit he's got all these bees and heehive in his garden. And now he's posted photos of him with the full kit. He's got all these bees and he's finally making honey and he's stoked. I know he's still only in his 40s, but it's like a 70-year-old retired man. Well, he is retired, isn't he? Yeah, if you retire from football early, you fast-forward your life to mid-80s. Exactly, he really

is. And he's got his old... They live in the Cotswolds, which is this part in England out in the countryside. And they've is this part in England out in the countryside and they've got this huge property there. I'm pretty sure I drove past it when I was there last year. Anyway, beside the point. Why? Just because you knew it was there? We were doing the Cotswolds tour

and you can go through and everyone sort of knows it's the Beckhams house but it's obviously fully, you can't see really into it but you can kind of see the tip of the house and you're like, oh my god, hi Beckhams. Well, that's what I did anyway. But yeah, he's got a full garden, full set up out there and that's what he's been up to in lockdown. Very

wholesome. Love it. I love how you went to England and did a tour of all that space. You saw Beckhams' tip just at the top there. Famous people's houses. Yeah, I know. I know one of those in LA and I went around there and it was quite frustrating because they would park outside a place and then she'd go, remember from the movies, blah, blah, blah,

blah, Frank Starcher? Yeah, and then she'd drive off and then go, well, that was his house. You're like, oh, back there. But it takes so long that it often's explained after you'd left the place. Yes. So you'd have to take a photo first up and go, do I know this person? Oh, no, I don't know. It's just some guy from Spider-Man I don't know. Do they come out and go, uh,

you don't see anyone. Oh, you're right. Do they come out and go, can you please stop? Oh, right, you just see fences. Yeah, fences and bush and shrubbery. The wonderful bush and fence tour of Hollywood. Yeah, exactly. They could just make it up. Oh, totally. Robert De Niro's house there.

He lives by that big bush, yeah. All right, on to the next bush. I actually know someone who, he's a tour for the Rootburn track and he literally just makes up the facts to the tourists. He makes it up. He's like, oh yeah,

that bird is that, that bird does that, that tree's that. I'd do that too. You get over it, eh? Yeah, that's the kākāpō. Kākāpō,

did you know, can do 29 backflips in a row. Wow. Not today though, obviously not in the mood. On to the next one. Here's the Kiwi.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We'd like to end the show on a good note to get you ready for your day, whatever you're doing. And we thought we'd do all right now.

Today's going to be a good day. Yeah, it's like an above-board shoulder massage, isn't it? An office-friendly shoulder massage to send you. Shall I massage you while we're doing this bit, Ben? I can massage your shoulder. Just on your microphone. You don't like being massaged. No, I get more tense when people talk about massages

than actually having a massage. I just not, I don't know. It's just not something I really enjoy. Someone's like, you know, someone comes like, oh, I massage you. You're like, all right, that's it, thanks. You know, like I'm around like, hey, yeah. It's like at no point is this relaxing me.

In fact, it's making me less relaxed. The more you even, I even think. Your fibres must be under such tension. Even if we're right now, it's just like, oh, I'd rather not. I'm more relaxed you not touching me than you touching me. Let's go to the phone, Zoe, don't ruin the hits. Why is it going to be a good day, Carol Ann and Nelson? Yeah, hi.

It's going to be a good day, Nelson, because it's always warm during the day and at night it's cool. And God, thanks to God, I woke up to see it and to make new memories. Oh, that's beautiful. It was making new memories saying she's given us a weather forecast, the structure of the day and night. Oh, Carol Ann, we're going to send you off to the movies, Reading Cinemas. Oh, cool.

Thank you very much. Make some more memories at the movies. You're good on you, Carol. You too. That's nice. Make new memories too. I like this segment. It's positive, isn't it? Maybe we should do more of this stuff on the show. Yeah, you too. That's nice. I like this segment. It's positive, isn't it?

Maybe we should do more of this stuff on the show. Yeah, right. Less than the niggie stuff, eh? Yeah, yeah. Make us look like better human beings. Zane, how's Taranaki this morning, my friend? Oh, she's wet, mate. But it's going to be a good day, you know, down here on the farm.

What's happening on the farm today, buddy? I'm not too sure what the boss has got in store for us today, but mahi hard as always, you know. Mahi, put in the mahi. We were on a farm on the weekend, and I tell you, two people who deserve never to be on a farm, Ben and me, we wore oil skin jackets. Yeah.

And certainly, we didn't look the part. I'm sorry, Zane, you sound like a person who would be at home on the farm. Yeah, nah. Bit like that, eh? Yeah, I tried milking a cow and Ben, didn't I? It didn't work out. Neither of it worked out. I don't think you've had to milk Ben.

We're going to give you a double pass for the movies, my friend, Reading Cinemas, all right? Cheers, thanks, mate. All right, enjoy your day. There you go. Let's head to Waihi. Lana, sorry, welcome. Hi, how are you? I love Waihi.

It's got to tell you, you drive down Waihi, it's got palm trees. You feel like you're in Waihi. LA. It's almost like LA. Yeah, right, Hollywood, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. Why is it going to be a good day in Waihi, mate?

I think just waking up and being alive is a bit of a privilege. So it's just going to be a good day. Hey, God bless you. Let's change the tone of the show. Let's just do this every voice break. Just people giving us motivational quips. You're like, wow. I'm ready for the day now.

Thank you, Lana. Oh, wow. Listen, if you go and have a bad day now, there's no saving you. There's no saving you. We've done our part. You enjoy the movies, all right? Double pass. You enjoy your day.

Very positive. Thank you. Good on you, Lana. Reddingston. Oh, jeez. I see why other shows do that now. Yeah. You know, the past,

we're like, why are they doing that? We're like, oh, it's anyway. Simon Barney has traded off it for years. He's done a great job. Yeah, I can see. Well played. And now we're cashing in on that. We'll catch you tomorrow.

We've got Andy Allen from MasterChef and a whole lot more surprises. We'll see you then. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.