Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - July 09 - Reception Reception, Jingle Bells, What Did Your Kids Ruin In A Shop?

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

Reception Reception is back! This is one of our favourite prank segments where Jono calls a random receptionist, asks for them to pass on a message to Ben, and then Ben has to call them up and receive that message. But the thing is, the message is awkwardly embarrassing. We're also on a mission to narrow down the greatest viral videos of all time to show to one of our wonderful listeners Barb who doesn't use the internet, and in the meantime, we chatted to the man behind "What day is Father's Day? Sunday!". Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast intro. I almost started singing a song there and then didn't commit and backed out into normal talking mode. Ben, it's lovely to see you. It's nice to see you too. Producer Juliette's with us right now. You're just telling us about a funny meme that you read.

Is this what these are coming to now? Juliette reads funny memes. Okay. All right. If 2020 was an alcoholic drink, what would it be? Vodka in a water bottle when you're expecting water. That's very good. Oh, that is a great meme.

It's a funny meme. So true. That's a great meme. What would 2020 be if it was a food? I would say... I was going to ask this to come up with funny memes on the spot. I would say, referring to something that happened to me, it would be the taste of sour cream out of a pottle when you're expecting strawberry yoghurt.

Oh yeah, that would do it. It happened to me. I feel like you've just taken what Juliet said and made it food related. I would say for me, if I'm really... That's exactly what I've done. I'd say I actually once drank something out of a water bottle and it ended up being old cheese mixed with water. Someone had chucked a bit of cheese in there

and it had been sitting in the car and I drank it and it was the most disgusting thing. So I'd actually say it was that. How do you end up with cheese? I don't know. I really don't know. At no point in my life have I ever gone, this cheese needs to be inside that water bottle.

I know. Bizarre. Funny memes aside, we've got a great podcast for you today, we hope. On it, we look for the best viral video ever made, so we ask you guys what it is. And we talk to the guy, the mastermind behind Father's Day Sunday,

the original artist. Yeah, as well as that, Jono, leaves a very embarrassing message for me on another person's reception. And will they pass it on to me? Well, you'll find out in the podcast. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, great to hear in the news, Ash Thomas, they spoke to a health expert who said the guy, the 32-year-old who escaped isolation, who had coronavirus, was most likely not to pass on the disease. He didn't engage in any conversation. Well, that's the worry, right, that it could get back into the community.

So hopefully that doesn't happen. But in Australia, they're in lockdown over there in Victoria. And yeah, there was a guy on the news who's our new hero of the day, right? So hopefully that doesn't happen. But in Australia, they're in lockdown over there in Victoria. And yeah, there was a guy on the news who's our new hero of the day, right? He is. He walks into the middle of a news cross holding a can of VB. I think probably his 13th or 14th of the day. And he wanted to have his say with the reporter.

But he also almost started blaming the reporter for his situation. Yeah, have we got that there? Not really good. Sir, I don't really give a ****. Yeah, have we got that there? Not really good. Sir, I don't really give a ****. Okay, good. You know, I'm in lockdown. Yeah. Now, what do you reckon?

Yeah. Hey? Yeah. Mate, mate, I live here, and you try to lock me out of Wally Wodonga and Albury? How am I supposed to get to Centrelink? Yeah, no, that's what I'm really worried about, you know? Yeah. So you're going to essentially get Albury? How am I supposed to get a Centrelink? That's what I'm really worried about. You know?

It's Centrelink and Albury. Of course I do. Where else do I go? Where do I go? No. There's not. No, that's very bad. I don't know why he's telling the reporter off. It's always great having a conversation with someone holding a can of BB. That was live on the news in Australia.

How amazing is that? You know, I want to go there and see the boy. Actually, it's time for me to go out of the studio right now because you're going to leave a message for me at a random reception around the country and see if they will pass on the message. Yeah, this is our game, reception, reception. So I'm going to go through to a business up north,

see if they'll, A, take the message for Ben. So let's go through, Producer Juju. Kia ora. Kia ora. Yes, g'day. Yeah, g'day, mate. How are you? All right, yeah. Yeah, good. Listen, I was just phoning up leaving a message for Ben.

For who? Ben. Ben who? He gave me this number and he said I can leave a message with you and you'll pass it on to him. Oh, yep, yep. Are you all right to do that for me, mate? No, I'm not sure. I haven't got... Who's Ben? He was a customer of mine, customer he said, if I phone you,

you'll take down the message and he'll call you and retrieve the message. Okay, yep. Is that all right? Yep. Yep, all right. Well, just tell him, Darren from Dastardly Darren's Dastardly Den phoned.

Oh, yep. You got that? From Darren's phone. Darren from Dastardly Darren's Dastardly Den. Oh, yes, yes, yep, yep. You got that? Yep. All right.

The products he ordered have arrived in? Okay, yep, yep. The leather pants? Yep, okay, yep. I'll give it that. Yes, yep. The mask? Yeah, okay, yep. I'll give it that. Yes, yep. The mask. Yes, yep.

The whip. That's the lead in, yes. And the handcuffs have arrived in too. Okay, yep, yep. And you got all those there, thanks. Yep, yep. And sorry, what was your name? Frank.

Frank. Yep, yep, yep. And so you can pass that on to him, Frank? I name? Frank. Frank. Yep. Yep, yep. You all good? And so you can pass that on to him, Frank? I'll do that, yep. Tell him, too, the leather pants were the ones without the, they were the arseless ones. Oh, yep, yep.

All right, Frank. Okay, then. Yep. Yeah, thank you for taking that message. Okay. Good day. Thank you. Thank you, Dave.

Good day. Bye. I love Frank. I love Frank. we'll get Ben in back next we're in the middle of our game reception

reception where we phone a business talk to the receptionist and see if they will take a message and then pass subsequently pass

on the message to Ben we phoned a trucking company in Northland we'll just tell him Darren from Dastardly Darren's

Dastardly Den phoned. Oh, yep. The products he ordered have arrived in. Okay, yep, yep. The leather pants. Yep, okay, yep. I'll give it that.

Yes, yep. The mask. Yes, yep. The whip and the handcuffs have arrived in too. Okay, yep. So that was Frank. And let's bring Ben back in from the sound poof, poof. How was it in there, mate?

What's that? How was it? Oh, it was all right. It was a long time it was in there, actually. Longer than usual because we played a song. Yeah, sort of like solitary confinement for just the length of one commercial radio song. A little bit of quarantine, so there you go. So listen, we've left a message with a lovely gentleman called Frank.

Okay. Okay, and you just need to say, oh, it's Ben here. Did my friend leave a message? And hopefully, all going well, Frank will pass it on. All right. Let's give a call. Frank. Frank. Okay. Your name's Ben. Okay. Thank you. Good morning. Oh, hi. Is Frank there? Yes. Oh, g'day, Frank. My name is Ben. Oh, yes, yeah. A friend of mine apparently left a message here for me that I need to collect. Yeah, just this minute ago. Two seconds ago, yeah. Oh, yeah, do you know what the message was?

He said that the clothing you've ordered has arrived. Oh, the clothing I've ordered has arrived. Oh, great. And the mask. And the mask. Oh, yeah,. And the mask. And the mask. Oh, yeah, okay, the mask. And the arse suspense. Oh, I've been waiting for a while

because Korea's been quite slow recently because they're quite busy. Oh, that's good. I'm pleased that it's arrived. Yes, yep, yep. Anything else? Was there? Was there any other thing else?

Not 100% sure. Okay, I was just expecting a few more packages, so I just wondered if they arrived. He said whatever he's written has arrived, yep. Oh yeah, so someone's just saying handcuffs, was it handcuffs? Yeah, yeah, that's right, yes. They were there? Yes, yep, you did mention those. Oh, he did. They were all there. Frank, it's John or Ben from the Hits Radio Station here. Oh, yep, yep. Nothing phases you.

I like you, Frank. You're great. Jono was just seeing what message he could leave for me at a random reception around the country because we don't have a reception of our own and you are a champ. Yep, yep. You passed us on but don't worry.

I thought those pants might be for a politician. Oh, Frank, you are a Kiwi hero. Oh, Frank, we're going to find something for you to give you a prize because you're such a good sport. Yeah, no, that's great. Yep, yep, good, yep. Thank you, yep. Frank, hold the line, my friend.

I'll get it. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jorgo and Men on the Hits. We're on a bit of friend. Hold the line. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating, still pending. It's Jorowyn Manomahet. We're on a bit of a mission at the moment. Barb, who's one of our listeners, has never experienced internet videos. She does emails.

Yeah. She just does a bit of WhatsAppping, but hasn't enjoyed an internet video. So we're making it our life mission, well, for the next five days or so, to show Barb the top five internet videos. So each hour

today and tomorrow we're going to put some big heavy hitters up against each other right? And you're going to choose one

I'm going to choose one and you guys are going to vote on 4487 or 0800 the hits which you think is the best one that we need to play to Barb. Well my good sir

in a polite battle fashion I'll let you go first. Okay, well, I'd like to take the, it's an Irish family, a father and a son, and they're trying to get the bat out of a house. They've got a runaway bat that's been all over the kitchen, and they're trying to get it out. It's very funny if you haven't seen it before. And you've got one, it's a Kiwi classic, right?

Here we go. Gone Viral Video Challenge. It's a Kiwi classic, right? Here we go. Gone viral video challenge. What day is Father's Day? Versus Irish family tries to get bat out of the house. So you're back in the Irish bat. Yeah, have a listen to this. Catch him. Catch him, Derry.

Derry, catch him. It's a bat. Get a bat. Get a bat. Get a bat. It's very funny. I love that bit. I mean, there's nothing better than the Irish accent in full panic mode. Trying to get a bat that's going around their back. It's very funny. I love that. I mean, there's nothing better than the Irish accent in full panic mode.

Is it? Trying to get a bat that's going around their kitchen. This is one of the greatest things to happen to Ireland since Bono released his coronavirus song. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah, that is better than that. A lot better. A lot funnier.

Actually, probably better is funnier. You're right. Father's Day Sunday. This is the one I'm back in. February 1st trivia answer tonight, Sunday. What do you reckon the question might be? Father's Day Sunday this is the one I'm back in February 1st trivia answer tonight Sunday what do you reckon the question might be Father's Day

it's become New Zealand folklore we all know what day Father's Day is now and you know we spent how many billions of dollars did we spend on

Lord of the Rings and that is the greatest thing to come from New Zealand in the world of entertainment so you need to vote now what is Barb going to see what's making the top five?

0800, the hits telephone number, 4487. Social media blowing up. Yeah, we put it on our story as well at the Hits Breakfast Instagram if you want to vote. So it's either Father's Day or Irish Bat. Those are the two things you can either text us or call us on right now. We're trying to find the best viral video. We want to play five of them to Barb who's never seen

any viral videos before. We want to do this next week. So we're putting some of the big viral videos head to head as voted by you. Today's battle. Gone viral video challenge.

What day is Father's Day? Versus Irish family tries to get bat out of the house. Yeah, Ben, you're backing the Irish bat. I like these both though. I like these both. But I'm going to go with the Irish bat.

Today I put that in the Irish family trying to get a bat out of their kitchen. Catch him. Catch him, Derry. Derry, catch him. This makes me laugh. It's a bat. Get a bat. Get a bat.

Very, very funny, that one. What I respect is people in those sheer moments of panic also having the self-control to bring out a phone and start filming. That's what always amazes me. I would never think of that. Although in that situation, I'd rather be filming that than trying to actually get the bat.

So well played to that guy. So Ben's backing the Irish bat in the kitchen and I'm backing a Kiwi classic, a New Zealand folklore classic. February 1st trivia answered tonight, Sunday. What do you reckon the question might be? Father's Day. What about Father's Day?

Father's Day is on Sunday. I just need it in a question form though. Maybe like what day is Father's Day? What day is Father's Day? Sunday. Yeah, so what would the question be? Father's Day is on Sunday. Oh, I love that.

I love that lady. She should be on like the $20 note or something. She should win an Academy Award for most confused lead actor or something. Oh, yeah, she's awesome. So keep the votes coming through. They're steaming through on 4487. Split at the moment, 50-50. Oh, really?

What does Barb need to see? You can also vote on social media as well, the Hits Breakfast Instagram. It's on our story. But in a very special treat, it's like an E! True Hollywood story, minus the illicit behaviour and substances. We have the mastermind behind Father's Day Sunday, Gareth Lishner.

He's a friend of the show. Always a friend of the show. You're in the same building as us, so I feel like we just dragged you in for this. He's contractually obliged to be a friend of the show. Yes, I've got nothing else to say. Friend of the show. Friend of the show. I love it.

You were part of a very iconic viral video. Well, yeah. It wasn't intended to be that way, but it was just the way that it played out, wasn't it? Now, talk us through the Father's Day Sunday piece of audio because I understand it was never on air. No, it was never a bit of radio. It was just an off-the-air recording

that was recorded off-air to try and find a winner for a competition, which we kind of struggled to find a winner. And then it was the days before YouTube and the internet, and it was the days when viral was sending emails around your mates, and you'd get an email, oh, check this funny thing out. And then

I think it just kind of became spam through people's emails, and then made it to the internet once YouTube caught up. Oh, it's become a thing for New Zealand. All New Zealanders seem to know the Father's Day Sunday. Yeah, well the great thing for me is I always know when Father's Day is because people start texting me about a week out going, do you know what day Sunday is?

Do you know what Sunday is? Sunday, Father's Day Sunday. How many millions of views has it had online? I reckon it must be sitting at least a billion now. The other funny thing is I know when it's Father's Day in other parts of the world because it starts to go off like, you know, around like America and this and then like, oh, Father's Day.

Oh, yes, because people will suddenly from the US go, hey, is this you? And it's because it's Father's Day in the US. And it's easy. Did you monetise it? No. Now, in all honesty, you made it quite confusing. I thought the question and the answer,

I got bamboozled by it. So I could see how we got there. Well, I thought it was quite easy. It was kind of like Jeopardy, reverse trivia. You give an answer and all you needed to do was come up with a question. So I thought it was simple at the time. And now everybody's just confused. But, I mean, the great thing, as we know, is that Father's Day is on a Sunday.

Now, Guy Williams, when we were doing the TV show, John and Ben, he tracked her down, and she had a great laugh about it, which is good. I was pleased to know that she was enjoying it as much as you are, and she's also dining out on it. Yeah, well, Solly. Solly was her name. She's probably still wandering around, and people probably still refer to her as the lady that couldn't quite work out what day Father's Day is. She's well famous.

What did she win? Well, in the high budgets of radio, that won her a pizza. So that's great. For international stardom, she got a free pizza. Well, I mean, that's a great payment. That is great. Yeah, that's right.

And so on air, was it just like, here's the question, and then she just gave the answer when you edited out everything in between? Yeah, we edited it all out. So those that were listening just thought she knew what day Father's Day was. She nailed it. Yeah, she nailed it it all out. So those that were listening just thought she knew what day Father's Day was. She nailed it. Yeah, she nailed it. She's an expert. Well done.

You're one of our top five videos that we're going to play to Barb. We'll see what she thinks of it. Well, I'm sure once she's seen it, she'll know what day Father's Day is. Keep the votes coming in. Which one is better, Father's Day Sunday or Irish Bat? You can text us, 4487. I'll go on the Instagram, Jono and Ben, the hits breakfast, and go on our story there.

Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben, the hits breakfast, and go on our story there. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Went to a birthday party yesterday. One of the cousins was having a birthday, so I took Oscar along and Poppy, my children. So it was a kid's birthday? Hey. It was a kid's birthday, obviously.

It was a kid's birthday. Yeah. Yeah. There's not many adult midweek birthday parties, is there? They need more adult midweek birthday celebrations. Get them a done, get them over and done with. Yeah. But I went along and I realised something that I've obviously handed on

just through pure genetics to my son, Oscar. He loves leading the hip-hip-hooray at the end of the birthday song. Oh, yes. You know? There's always one that loves it. There is, but the problem is when there's two of you in the room or more and there's a passive-aggressive competition going on

because you know a hip-hip-a-raya when you see a hip-hip-a-raya in a happy birthday sing-along, don't you? There's the pack. The pack are there. They're happily singing, but then you can see the look in someone's eyes of like, I'm leading this.

It's a race to the first hip-hip-a-raya after the happy birthday song. You're right. A happy birthday song is the most unhappy song for a happy occasion. Everyone's like, happy birthday. You know? Oh, and it's like, when it's your birthday in the office, and the office is you're sitting in that swivel chair holding a miserable cake,

and everyone's singing. That's why you need the hip-hip-a-ray at the end to sort of lift things back up. It feels like a half an hour rendition when it's getting sung to you. I hate it being sung. Come on, guys, let's get through this. Do you like happy birthday being sung to you? No, not at all. It's one of life's things that you just have to do, isn't it?

Yeah, happy birthday. No one ever sounds happy when they sing happy birthday to you, even though the song says happy many times. Everyone awkwardly stares at you and you're like, where do I look? Where do I look? And then someone after the hip-hip-a-ay, like Jono, will start the clap. You're like, oh, please don't do this. Oh, she's a jolly good.

But yeah, yesterday I realised that now me and my son, he's of an age, we were both competing to lead the hip-hip-hooray. So I came in, happy birthday to you. And I'm hip-hip-hooray, but the song's still going. You have to strike early if you want to lead it. It's like a standing ovation. Sometimes you want to be the first person up to stand, you know, but the song's still going. You have to strike early if you want to lead it. It's like a standing ovation. Sometimes you want to be the first person up to, you know, the crowd. But it's a lonely place if no one else follows you.

Have you ever done, I did a standing ovation on my own once at like a circus we went to, and no one else stood up. I was like, this man nearly killed himself on a motocross bike. Give him something. But you're not also a fan, speaking of birthdays, of the birthday cake.

No. You don't like the cake, but mainly for hygiene reasons. Yeah, I just, you know, when someone's having their birthday, particularly a kid's birthday party,

they spend, you know, a good three to four minutes blowing everything all over the cake. Give it another go. You're like, no, don't.

The hygiene person's immediately like, please, please no. I love all of my birthday cake covered in a top layer of saliva with bits of like burger rings and gummy bears just sprayed all over the top of it. I wonder now after

coronavirus, serious question, are we going to stop the blowing out of the candles? Yeah. Do you have to use a leaf blower or something? I saw a video. Someone took all the candles out of the cake and held them away from the cake for the person to then blow out. There you go. I'm down with that.

I'm happy with that. That takes away the joy of a disease-laden cake. That's a live-on-thrown cake. PC madness, I say. PC madness. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Of course, it is school holidays at the moment. I was in a shop yesterday, the same shop that I'd been in many years ago when the girls were little. And, you know, you return to a shop and you're like, oh, we've been here before and we've broken something accidentally in the shop.

Oh, no. You've probably got your pictures up in the staff room. You felt bad at the time. It happened when my daughter Indy was young and she picked something up in the shop. And as a parent, I'm like, don't touch that, drop that. And she did. She dropped it. She just dropped it.

She let it go and it went down to her credit. She followed the instructions. Exactly what I told her to do. She went, drop that. And it dropped straight down and smashed. And you're like, uh oh. And everyone looks around at the shop and you're trying to pick it up and you're trying to talk to the people. The people

were lovely in the shop actually and they were like, ah, don't worry. They didn't charge you for it. I was like, I'll pay for it and they said, oh don't worry, it's okay, it's okay. So it was really lovely but now going back into that shop, you're like, oh here we are back here again. Here's the McDroppersons. When you go shopping and I love watching

other parents just going, put that down, don't drop that, no, we're not getting that, come on, we're going in the car, no, no, no, no. That's the soundtrack of a show. I've been to a shop called Sonny's in Whangamata, which is just an emporium of highly affordable goods. And the kids are just grabbing it. No, no, no.

You just hear it through the aisles. Put it away. We're going. We're going to the beach. Yeah. Well, they do have stuff about the height of a kid, so the kid picks it up. I know.

It's their fault. It's their fault. We're sucker consumers we buy into it like one of my greatest joys was walking into you know how

there's those shops with like blown glass they blow glass and turn it into like waves and cool statues and stuff

and there's usually some guy with dreadlocks and you know hemp pants no shoes on. He's running the shop. So we went into his... So the whole store's full of glass.

Full of glass sculptures. Uh-oh. And I went in with the kids. Oh, my God. I could just feel his anxiety. Because they were, like, picking up waves. And I was like, just no, no, no. This is not a good time.

But we didn't end up smashing anything. So there was nothing to that story, really. We just walked out. The story was we walked into a shop. A man and kids walked into a shop and walked out. That's the story. You know, sometimes on radio, they're like, bring something personal to the thing.

You did. You did, but then you realise halfway through, it's got no ending. It wasn't ever done. Could have gone bad. They can't all be winners. I don't think any of mine have ever been winners. But it didn't go bad.

Actually, the chemist the other day, I saw kids on Monday push over the sunglass stand while their mother was at the counter. She wasn't focusing and maybe as the adult me watching on, I could have stepped in. But I didn't. I watched the thing tip over in slow motion. But you feel bad telling off other people's kids, don't you? Oh, yeah. So it wasn't my place to say, don't push that over.

It was my place to enjoy it, talk about it on the radio, and have a backup story to the one I told before. So it is school holiday, so we thought we'd throw it out there today. What have your kids damaged in a store? Oh, 100 The Hits, I would love to hear from you. Oh, maybe you as a kid damaged something in the store. Did you have to pay for them? Let's go to the phones and welcome to a New Zealand's mocking breakfast.

Rebecca, do you want us to mock you? Well, I think you're going to anyway. Oh, we're going to. What happened in the store with you? It wasn't really a store so much as it was a car dealership. Okay. Uh-oh.

Oh, no. I was obviously in the market for a new car and they let me take... Sorry, I'm just looking at a car in front of me that's got duck eggs and it's back windscreen. This is live radio at its finest. I agree. Yeah, and they let me take it for the weekend just to see if I'd like it.

And on the way to the gym in the morning, I curbed it and burst the tyre. Oh, no. And I thought, how am I... I have to either buy the car now or return it and say I tyre Oh no And I thought, how am I, you know, I can't I have to either buy the car now or return it and say I'm really sorry, but I thought Or burn it, burn it's just another option No, I thought what I'm going to do, because I had a really good relationship with my mechanic

is I said to the, I took it up there and he said, did you get a new car? I said, uh, not yet He said, oh good lord what are we going to do? I said, well can you stick this to Burrow's number plate on the bill? And therefore, Dad will think that I've just needed two new tyres on my Subaru because they were directional.

Oh, right. So you're basically using your old car. I see what you're doing here. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so we paid the bill based on the fact that, you know, Dad thought it was a registration for the Subaru. He didn't realise that I'd burst the tyre on the car that we didn't even own yet. And did you get away with it?

Oh, yeah, I took the car back, and they were like, so did you like it? I said, nah, it's not for me. But I haven't replaced two tyres for you, just because I thought I would. I didn't even tell them. Some person drives around in the car and has two brand new tyres on.

Oh, Rebecca, great call, mate. You go and have a wonderful day following that duck egg car, all right? I will, you too. See you, buddy, Rebecca. Great call, mate. You go and have a wonderful day following that duck egg car, all right? I will, you too. See you, buddy. Thanks for your call, mate. Listen, to Matamata, Richie's on New Zealand's Breakfast.

Welcome, Richie. What did your kids destroy in a shop? We went to an embroidering, like a, we had like a trophy that a horse had won, so we took it in

to get the, you know, they'd put like our name on it. Oh, the engraving? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my young fella, get the, you know, they'd put like our name on it. Oh, the engraving? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my young fella, he died. He possibly could have had a frozen coke or been a bit hyper, who knows.

You never want to take a kid jacked up into a shop, do you? Yeah, yeah. Well, I normally get the grandparents back. They do it to me, so I generally do it back to them, you know what I mean? But, yeah, so he was in there, I don't know, mate. He was like dancing around and I do it back to them, you know what I mean? But I, yeah, he was in there, I don't know, mate, he was like dancing around, and I was trying to tell him, you know, settle down, mate, and he's spinning around, and anyway, he hits

this trophy, and it hit, and it was just the domino effect in there, and we slowly just watched it, like. All the trophies in the store, brrp, brrp, brrp, brrp, brrp, brrp. Yeah, started doing that, eh, and it was quite ironic, eh, that, like, the guy was delivered, and because I was getting something done there, he sort of just had to, you know, you had to cop it, so, but I that, eh? And it was quite ironic, eh? Like, the guy was delivered, and because I was getting something done there, he sort of just had to, you know, you had to cop it.

So, but I did, I did, when I got the trophy back, because our surname was Locke, L-O-C-K, and I felt it quite ironic when we got the trophy back that Ella'd gone and it was misplaced with a C. Oh, and a wonderful hour gag there. Oh, we can't do it again. What a great call, Richie. Thank you very much.

I love it. You have a great day. Kylie, what happened to you? Well, I wasn't quite destroying, but I had my daughter, who was about five at the time, in a shop that was full of vases and everything, and it was a material shop.

Oh, this is like taking a bull into a literal china shop. So, yeah, we went in there, and she says to me, Mum, I'm going i'm gonna be sick and I said are you serious? And she says yeah and all I could look around at the time with these vases No Throw into it and i was thinking what am I going to do now because I did not want to walk up to the counter with a bath. Form it. So we quietly crept all the way around to the store until we found a toilet.

And we went in there and we tipped it all out and we washed it. And I was going, I don't really want this bath because it was horrendous at the time. Don't tell us you put it back on the shelf. Absolutely, I did. Oh, God. We took it and we did dry it.

It still looks brand new. It still looks brand new. Oh, so good. You have a great day, Kelly. Appreciate your call, buddy. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook.

Bye. No WhatsApp. Bye. Docco.nz. She's got all the gossip on all the celebs if they've had a torrid affair or changed their hair.

Juliet is in with Spy News. Thank you very much. Now Kanye West, he is serious about running for president. The name of his party will be the

Birthday Party. Which, that screams seriousness. The Birthday Party is a good name though, eh? It's really good. And his slogan is

going to be Kanye West, yes. So that's what he's going to be campaigning with. He's running independently, and he said if it weren't for Trump, he'd run as a Republican. So his party will be Republican-leaning. Right, so he is still a Republican. But he's not a supporter of Trump, he said. No, no.

Well, I guess he probably just wants himself to win, so he can't be a supporter of Trump if he wants to win himself. Yeah, he's probably got a really serious chance. Biden, the Democrat candidate, is 77. Trump's 74. Kanye's coming in young, youthful. He's standing for a lot of stuff people are upset about at the moment. Has he left it too late, though?

Because there's a few big states like Texas that he can't actually run for because he's missed the deadline. Yeah, he has. That may play against him, but you're right. He might have a good chance. Both the coasts, New York and California. I don't know why I'm all of a sudden an expert. Thanks, CNN.

Thanks. Back to you in the studio, Anderson Cooper. But yeah, no, very, very happy for Kanye West. And hey, who's to say he wouldn't make a great president? He's got some interesting views, but anyway. I mean, in the scheme of 2020, it would seem reasonably fitting that he would become president

because this is the weirdest year we've come across. Not that I would want him to be president, but it wouldn't surprise me. The next instalment of this year, it probably seems like the most sane thing that could happen this year is Kanye becoming president. Yeah, true. And I just appreciate that a guy,

every time I see him is in some track pants and some Adidas shoes and just a ripped old hoodie, can become president. Well, that gives hope to people like me, Ben. If he can do it, I can. John over Prime Minister. And Gwyneth Paltrow, she's revealed that in lockdown, she bought her son, Moses, who's 14, who she shares with Chris Martin

the lead singer of Coldplay a cartoon boob puzzle just for fun so it's a big puzzle and it's got all these cartoon drawings of all these different types

of breasts on it obviously for him to enjoy in some regard and it's a slow enjoyment because you have to put the puzzle together true

isn't it painful so hold on give me half an hour I'll figure this out my mum's always a stickler for accidentally giving me because you have to put the puzzle together. True. Isn't it? Painful. So hold on, give me half an hour. I'll figure this out. My mum's always a stickler for accidentally giving me inappropriate things. What do you mean? Accidentally.

Well, like, she doesn't read inside birthday cards. I told you about this before, didn't I? Oh, yeah. And I got one, like, a few years ago, which was like, to my special birthday boy. Which, you know, on the surface seems like a lovely card. Yeah, special birthday boy. A mother to give her son

but then you opened it up and it had like these vouchers that you could cash in like use this if you want a two person bubble bath and I was like

oh dear god so good you cashed it in of course because it's a voucher you don't want that oh that's right exactly it's like a visa present card

you never let one of those expire so I didn't let that expire another one was like have him a full body massage without any hands oh dear I was like I didn't let that expire. Another one was like have him a full body massage without any hands. I was like I don't even know how that works

but it seems like an odd massage. Share a cooked meal made for you in my underwear. Did she learn from that? Oh well she cashed I cashed them in.

Thanks Rob. It was weird sitting down having dinner with mum in her underpants but you know gotta make do that's my present

you gotta cash in. Love it. For more spy you can head to make do. That's my present. You've got to cash in on it. Love it. For more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We are in the middle of a bit of a journey. We've got Barb, who is a listener to the show. Lovely lady, Barb.

And she's many things. But she is not a person who has watched videos on the internet. No, she hasn't seen viral videos so we thought we'd play her the best viral videos ever made and so she can experience it for the first time. And we're a team of 5 million, that's what Jacinda keeps saying. And so we want you

to help us combine the top 5 videos that will debut Barb with on the internet. I've given her a new nickname Barb Wire Less Internet Connection That can be her full name now. I like it. So her a new nickname, Barb Wire-less internet connection. That can be her full name now. I like it. So what have you got for Barb Wire-less internet connection?

Well, last hour we had What Day is Father's Day? taking on the Irish family that tried to get the bat out of the house. You know the tune. Feb 1st trivia, answered and I Sunday. What do you reckon the question might be? Father's Day. What about Father's Day? Father's Day is on Sunday.

That was Father's Day taken on this Irish bat flying around a kitchen. Catch him. Catch him, Diddy. Diddy, catch him. It's a bat. Get a bat. Get a bat. Get a bat.

Get a bat out of the house. Very funny. Big bangers to start off. Oh, there were two big players, big dogs there, Giorno. But as funny as the Irish family was, they didn't take it out. So Father's Day Sunday with 84% of the vote. There's one of the videos. The patriotism came through on 0800.

Yeah, I think so. Patriot. We're all so proud of that clip, aren't we? That and when celebrities say favourable comments about our country. Okay, so the next, let's go to round two. Gone Viral Video Challenge. Neck Minute versus Allen Allen Steve.

Two more, but I mean, where do they stop? I don't know why we're acting surprised like the first round's so great. Of course, it's going to be great, but yes, Neck Minute taking on Allen Allen Steve. You're a Neck Minute fan, Ben. I am. I'm a fan of both of these again, Jono. Both of these are some of my favourites, but Neck Minute, I mean, you talk about iconic Kiwi moments.

Well, leaving the scooter outside the dairy is one for me. Left my scooter outside the dairy, Nick Minnit. Oh, jeez. Brought me so much joy and also brought me joy for many years afterwards where I'd walk around with Jono and people would go, oh, you're famous. And Jono would go, yep, big smile. You're the Nick Minnit guy.

The amount of autographs I've signed as the Nick Minute guy. Oh, wow. It brought me a lot of joy as well. Levi, who is the Nick Minute guy, great guy. He's a wonderful guy, and he helped us out of many a comedic sketch hole, Levi appearing in those. But he's a wonderful man.

And so Nick Minute, and when that took off, it spread through New Zealand like Captain Cook's venereal diseases he came with. Oh, and it went, I think, overseas as well. Like, it went to Australia. It was massive. So, Nick, if that is your favourite, 4487 on the text. You can vote at the hits breakfast on Instagram.

Now, I'm going to champion in this round. Alan, Alan, Alan, Steve. What was the creature in the... It was actually called a... It was like a rodent thing called a marmot. I think we Googled before. A marmot. So, the marmot's mouth's moving and someone's voiced over it. And it's a quick one. It's 30 a rodent thing called a marmot, I think we Googled before. A marmot. So the marmot's mouth's moving and someone's voiced over it.

And it's a quick one. It's 30 seconds max, high impact. And geez, it went well on the internet. Alan! Al! Alan! Oh, it's just not Alan. Thief!

Thief! Thief! Thief! Thief! Thief! Oh, you've got to see the video if you want to check it out. You can do it at the Hits Breakfast. And we'll put those two up against each other.

Sometimes when you play them in audio form, you really need the company visual. They're not quite as funny. Yeah. And we're just starting to realise that now. That's why they're viral videos, not viral audios. That's right. Maybe we should do them viral for audio.

But anyway, we're here now. 0800 The Hits, what do you want Barb to see? What's going to get through this next round? Nick Minute or Alan, Alan, Alan, Steve, Steve, Steve. 4487's the text as well. Give us a call. Let's go to the phones. The Hits, what do you reckon?

Definitely got to be that Alan one. It's one of the funniest things I've seen. My husband's actually replicated it as well. A big crossing in Sydney. Oh, really? He's gone out there going, Alan, Alan, Alan! And then he's gone, and then somebody else started shouting Steve.

Somebody just answer him, please! Oh that's so good. Poor Alan who works here at the Hits is Alan in our office and poor Alan, every time we yell out for Alan it's Alan, Alan, Alan! So it was like, it was seven years ago. Yeah.

Thank you very much Fiona, you have Alan. Yeah. So it was like it was seven years ago. Yeah. Thank you very much, Fiona. You have a good one. Andio, cheers. Let's go to Alyssa. Who are you going to vote for? Is it Alan, Alan, Alan or Nick Minute? Nick Minute. Oh, Jesus.

So split down the middle. The text is saying the same thing. I don't know. How do we come to a decision? Oh, I guess we keep voting, don't we? Do we keep voting until we get a winner or do we get Winston Peters in to decide who wins? Is that how MMP works?

That was in the last election, right? So whoever Winston decides to take through will win. We'll keep the votes coming through. 4, 4, 8, 7, 0, 800 to hit. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the Hatch. Yesterday I bought some tickets to take my daughter to Benny. Hey, Sparkarina.

And Sparkar Arena, yeah. Sorry, I went early. You meant to say Spark Arena. No, but Benny, the concert in October. Whereabouts? Spark Arena. Hey, Spark Arena. We're trying to get that to take off, aren't we?

That little Spark Arena thing. And I'm a bit nervous about going back to Spark Arena. Say Spark Arena. Because the last time I was there, many months ago, because obviously it's been in lockdown, was a Breakers basketball game, and I was so close to walking into the wrong bathrooms. You've done that a couple of times.

Well, yeah. It's starting to become habitual. No, this is where I did it. This is, yeah, because I don't know if you've been to Spark Arena, but it is quite confusing because you look up and there's the signs above the doors, but the doors kind of have entries one side, and then five metres later they have the exits

and they're really close to each other. So I was looking up there at the men's sign, but walking towards the woman's exit of the toilet. And as I was walking to the toilet, I just remember a guy going, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, they were looking at me. And I was like, that's a weird thing for someone to be saying to me. And as I looked at him and then looked back, I walked straight into a lady who was walking out of the toilet.

So she was like, oh, what are you? And I was like, oh, my God, this is the woman's bathroom. There's nothing more embarrassing as a man walking into a woman's bathroom. That could actually go through there and in there. But I was in the doorway looking like I was about to when I walked into her. Sometimes I've ended up in there just in an office situation. I'm like, well, it's empty. I may as well.

Have you ever gone that far? Have you ever committed? No. Have you never fully committed? I'd be so nervous to do that. Oh, the thrill of committing. You're like, someone could walk in at any moment. I've never been caught.

It's just something I like to do. Oh, God. It made me think, though, about the most unusual bathroom experience happened to a mate of ours at our old work. So he'd had a few drinks at a work function and he was standing at the urinal and he kind of slipped and he hit his head on the basin.

Oh, yeah, this is our friend Duncan. And he knocked himself out. Wow. While he was sort of peeing. And so another mate of ours walked in the mic afterwards and noticed him on the floor unconscious with his... With it all hanging out. And he didn't know what to do, so he panicked, didn't he?

He called 111, obviously, to get them to, you know, to sort him out. But then he also went, I'd better help him out. I'd better put the thing back in there, the mouse back in the house, so to speak. And he got his phone, I think, and he... He was prodding it in with his phone. He was going...

Just to put it back in. I guess what was the other option? Use the end of the toilet brush? The stick end? Just like jam it down? I didn guess what was the other option? Use the end of the toilet brush? The other stick end? Just like jam it down? I didn't know in that situation what to do. But he wanted to have some dignity before the ambulance arrived. Before the ambulance arrived, I wanted to tidy you up a little bit.

Yeah. But I don't want to fully commit to it. So I'll just use the line of defence. That's right. I remember. And then he went back to the bar the next day, Doug, didn't he? I think so. Because we had a bar tab across the road that needed to be spent.

And boy, did he spend it. He went to hospital and then came back the next day. In a hospital gown. Like one of those league players that go off, get checked out by medics, and then go back on in the second half. Yeah, nothing like a true boo New Zealand binge drinker, eh? Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Being New Zealand's breakfast, we thought that there was only one way to hammer that home, and that's by doing this. The A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling every single town or city in New Zealand. We're doing a one a day. We're doing it alphabetically. It's going to take us over two years,

and after about eight or nine weeks, we're still, we're just in the seas. We're just in the seas, but we've visited more towns than a baby-kissing politician on the campaign trail. Yeah, you're right. So many babies to be kissing. And we were just saying before, it's really cool because you learn a lot about New Zealand by doing this.

Oh, yeah, you figure out where everything is, don't you? Yeah. I mean, you can ask, you asked me something. I don't know what you want me to ask you. What am I trying to lead you into here? I don't actually know. I'm very confused. I just said ask me something.

Doesn't it necessarily have to be an agent? I'll ask you who we're calling today. Oh, that's a good question, Ben. Today, Cheviot, which is located on State Highway 1, Cheviot, known most to being as a great place to stop on your way to or from Kaikoura. Yeah, I remember going there as a kid between you would drive from Picton to Christchurch and stop at the Cheviot, maybe have an ice cream, go to the bathroom, that sort of thing. Well, that's the thing.

It seems like the perfect town to have a pee in. Or if you're feeling stop at the Chevriots, maybe have an ice cream, go to the bathroom, that sort of thing. Well, that's the thing. It seems like the perfect town to have a pee in. Or if you're feeling car sick, have a vomit maybe. Yeah. In between extracting liquid from your system, why not visit some of

Chevriots' fabulous places to eat, drink, get supplies and fill up your car? It just sounds like a town you drive through. Oh, we'll find out. I'm sure it's much more than that. So let's give someone a call.

Chevriot Hardware. Put on a voice, Ben. Like a Hardware voice. Oh, yeah. Shibby at Hardware. Yeah, g'day, Phil. How we doing? Ben and Jono here from the Hits radio station.

Oh, hello. How you doing? We thought we'd put on these voices because we're not hard-weary people. So is this how we can talk? Yeah, yeah. Is this how everyone talks in Sheffield? Absolutely. What about that? Including the kids, the women, the men, everyone.

A whole lot of us. Stand with your arms folded talking like this. Hey, Phil, lovely to have you on the show. We are doing the A to Z of New Zealand and we're phoning every town and city in New Zealand and Cheviot,

congratulations, is 58 on the list alphabetically. Number 58. We're right up there. Right up there in the seas, baby. Sounds good.

What's good to do in Cheviot? Oh, there's a lot to do good in Cheviot. Close to rivers, close to mountains, close to ocean. She's all going. Now, a lot of people stop off to and from in Cheviot. Close to rivers, close to mountains, close to ocean. She's all gay.

Now, a lot of people stop off to and from Kaikoura. You welcome people to come and have a pee in your town? Absolutely. We've got the flashiest public toilets you ever hope to see. You ever hope to see. How long have you lived in Cheviot? All my life. Bloody near 50 years.

It was getting a bit embarrassing, but never mind. Sheesh. So what is in Cheviot? Obviously the public toilets, but what else have you got there? We've got a pub, we've got the main hardware shop, which is where you're talking to now. Oh, good. Tea rooms, butchery, magnificent

volunteer fire brigade, St John Ambulance, medical centre. You're just reading stuff out of the Cheviot phone book now. It doesn't sound like I know what I'm talking about. It does. Now, would you know everyone in town, pretty much? Just about, yep. Okay, your top three Shevetonians.

Oh, no, I couldn't do that. Oh, you can't? There's too many good people there. There's just too many on us, fellas. And so you're not far from the coast, obviously. No, we're 8km from Gore Bay, magnificent surfing beach. I saw the pictures of it. It looks fantastic, but jeez, it would be cold.

Yeah, this time of year, definitely. Is it a summer beach? Do you go there and swim at summertime? Yeah, yeah, yeah, great, safe summer swimming beach, yep. And I imagine a lot of crazy sea life you would see. You had whales and dolphins and things. There's a ton of dolphins and all that sort of stuff out there. You see whales out a bit further occasionally, but yeah.

Seals? Yeah, there's lots of seals. Far too many seals, to be honest. You sound sick of seeing dolphins and seals. Well, seals in particular. There's a lot of salmon fishermen around here and they tend to eat all our salmon. Oh, really?

Okay. Well, we are learning a lot about Cheviot and a lot about fishing as well. One of the Cheviot originals. Hey, thank you so much for your time today. No worries, team. Good as gold. Good on you, mate. Good on you.

Bloody good. All right. Good on you. Love your work. All righty. So good. The A to Z of New Zealand continues tomorrow with a new town. We're just meeting some great New Zealanders, Ben.

We are. We sold the earth. We thought we could call ourselves New Zealand's Breakfast without talking to everyone in New Zealand. Well, every town in New Zealanders, Ben. We are. We're sold to the earth. We could call ourselves New Zealand's Breakfast without talking to everyone in New Zealand. Well, every town in New Zealand. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Ah, yes, this is the fake news that Donald Trump keeps going on about.

Ben and me find some stories overnight and report on them first thing in the morning so you don't have to look. You can save your finger. Yeah. You know all the energy you spend swiping your look. You can save your finger. Yeah. You know all the energy you spend swiping your index finger up and down your phone? Uh-uh, not today. You don't have to do that.

You save that lovely index, you know what I'm saying. Well, not really, but I'll move on. Now, a Kiwi who was in quarantine in an Auckland hotel, he's making news today because he escaped through a gap in the fence and was gone for like 70 minutes. He went to the supermarket. He was in the supermarket for a long time, and everyone understandably quite worried about the fact that he,

the next day, tested positive for coronavirus, so he was out and about in the community. Worried's the word. I think everyone's worried. And as New Zealanders, we are calm and level-headed about this. I haven't seen any anger online. Have you, Ben? Yeah, there is a little bit. And, you know, anger online. Have you, Ben? Yeah.

There is a little bit. And, you know, you understand that. You understand people's frustration. I was ropeable. You ropeable? I think it's a very selfish thing to do, right? That's as ropeable as Ben gets. Oh, it is, you know. In this situation, yeah, he went to the supermarket

and obviously he's potentially put some other people in danger. There's only one form of punishment, and that is tickling till he can't stand any more tickling. Okay. It's up for six months prison, and a hefty fine is some of the things that potentially could happen. Well, the thing is, you know, if you're returning to New Zealand now,

you know the deal. You know what you're coming in for. You know what's required of you. So if you try and break out of the hotel, it makes no sense to me because you're like, well, you knew what

situation you were getting into before you landed back. Don't come back if you don't want to do that. Simple as that, really. 0800 8010 80, your thoughts,

Newstalk ZB. That is the big news this morning. As well as that... Where do you reckon he went? He went to Countdown. Yeah, but where? 70 minutes.

I don't know. He spent a long time in the health and beauty aisle in Countdown looking along there. And sometimes it is a hard aisle to find the stuff you need. Oh, I agree. Yeah, to find the correct moisturiser, I'm in there for half an hour, 40 minutes some days. And the correct exfoliant, too, Ben. You wonder why I have this blemish-free skin.

Well, it's not by rushing through that aisle, my friend. It's by making careful, educated choices. And also, as I mentioned before, Kanye West, he's been the talk of the world, saying that he may be running for president. He has confirmed to Forbes magazine yesterday that he is. He is going to be running, but he's going to run his own party called the Birthday Party.

And he's no longer a supporter of President Donald Trump. Yeah, because they were quite tight, weren't they? And he was a well-publicised Republican, Kanye West. He would meet with Trump in the White House. Kim Kardashian, I think, had a couple of negotiations with him in terms of letting prisoners out for her prison reform

campaign. So he's starting his own party called the Birthday Party with the guidance of Elon Musk, of course, the founder of Tesla. And he's also got a running mate for vice president as a preacher for Wyoming or something that is going to be his vice president if he gets voted in. This is going to be a wild party. We'll have floating cars by the end of 2021.

We'll all be wandering around in those trendy Crocs he released last week. He's never voted in his life, Kanye West. Never once. But then... So you say he was a supporter of Trump, but he never actually voted for Trump. He might have gone and met up with him,

but he never actually voted. That was Alice, our friend, because I was born in the States, so I can vote, and she pins the blame on Donald Trump and being in office squarely on me because I didn't get around to voting. She was horrified that I didn't vote.

Probably you and a few other million people might have helped things out there. Oh, it's such a mission to go and vote, though, isn't it? Well, not really. No, it's not. You've got to decide. You've got to go into this. If you really want it, you're passionate about it, then do it. You've got to go to the school day and all that stuff.

And finally, an Australian man in Melbourne, Victoria They are back in lockdown Yesterday announced for another six weeks And he busted into the middle of News Cross Holding a can of VB Straight out of the pub Have a listen to this legend Not really good

Sir Sir, I don't really give a f*** You know, I'm in lockdown. Yeah. Now, what do you reckon? Yeah. Hey? Yeah. Mate, mate, I live here and you try to lock me out of Wally Wodonga and

Albury? How am I supposed to get to Centrelink? You know, that's what I'm really worried about, you know? You know? It's definitely temporary. Well, mate, of course I do. Well, where else would I go? Now, where do I go?

No, there's not. I love it how he's asking, like, pinning the blame on the reporter as coronavirus is the reporter's fault. Now, that sounds like me on a Friday afternoon, doesn't it, Ben? Hey, you know one other thing Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime

Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram Hey we do a thing called Jingle Bells Because you know New Zealand is the backbone of our economy A good jingle, isn't it? I don't know if it is, I just said it But you could sing a jingle about anything You were responsible for a few jingles, Ben, in a previous life as a copywriter.

Yeah, I wrote a couple of jingles back in the day. Only one of them still gets used, the Novus Shows You Crack one. Yeah. I mean, you could write a jingle about hemorrhoid relief, couldn't you? And then you could make it the catchiest thing and just get stuck in your head,

and that's the key for the client, isn't it? That's right, and that's why we like to ring up businesses that have great jingles and see if they know them as well as we do. Yeah, so we're going to go through to Tuck's Pet Food, a jingle that has been around since the 1930s in New Zealand. You love it, you love it. I do.

Tuck's keeps him full of life, fit as a fiddle, sharp as a knife. For whatever reason, I know every word to this. And there was a period in the New Zealand jingle history books where jingles would have a full-length

three-and-a-half-minute version. Like a song, yeah. With four verses, a hawker breakdown. Like the Inter-Islanders, I think the full-length version is longer than Stairway to Heaven.

Longer than the ferry trip across the Cook Strait. So Tux did have a full-length one and I knew all the words. I don't know why. I had nothing else to do as a child.

I was a very lonely kid. But we're going to go through to Tux now. Thank you for calling Purina Pet Care. Good morning, Purina Pet Care. Sophie speaking. Sophie, it's Jono and Ben from the Hits Radio Station, New Zealand's 14th favourite radio breakfast programme. Oh, hi.

How are you? We're okay. Are we 14th? Maybe 17th. I don't even know if we're in the top 20, to be honest. But we like playing a wee game with people that have great jingles. And you guys, you guys make Tux pet food? Oh, yeah.

And you've got a great jingle. We do. It is a good one. This is called Jingle Bells, where we phone businesses with their jingles to see if they'll sing along. You're like, please don't make me do this. I'm at work. Well, we're here now, and we're in deep. Alright, let's do it.

Hey! It's too late to pull out now. Now, coincidentally, I know all the words to this. Jono knows, yeah, like, Jono doesn't know too much. He forgets a lot of things. This is a true story, but he knows every word to the tux jingle. Oh, God, okay. Now, I forgot to put on trousers this morning. Yeah, but we won't do

the whole thing, because it takes about three minutes, but we'll do the main chorus, shall we, Jono? Okay, yes, and Sophie And I forgot to put on trousers this morning. But we won't do the whole thing because it takes about three minutes. But we'll do the main chorus. Shall we, Jono? Okay, yes. And Sophie, you ready to go? I'm ready. Okay. It has a fiddle sharp as a knife.

It eats him full of life. Lead him in an overdrive. Go, Jono. Yerning the cattle or shifting the mob. It's the feed for the hungry dog. To the bluff. Only one dinner that's good enough. And it's Tux.

Keeps them full alive. Fit as a fiddle, sharp as a knife. Oh, that's very good. Sophie, you're the best we've had so far at this game. This is great. Yes. I hope you get a promotion for it. It's not up to us. But if it's up to us, hope you get a promotion for it. It's not up to us,

but if it's up to us, you'd get a promotion for it. I'd make you CEO of Tux. Is that overshooting the mark? The ducks of Tux. Not at all. Not at all. Sophie, have a great day.

You're a good sport and keep up the great work, not only with pet food, but also with the jingles. Oh, thanks, guys. You too. That was fun. She's a lovely lady.

She was great. She was probably the only one who's actually sung along with Jingle Bell too. Oh, it was fun. She's a lovely lady. She was great. She was probably the only one who's actually sung along with Jingle Bells. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Just want to pull back the curtain a little bit of the radio industry.

You may notice some things inside commercial breaks that we play on the radio. It could be your average lovable radio announcer voicing a commercial in a more relaxed fashion as compared to the other commercials that are in the break. Yeah, just like we're chatting right now, sometimes we chat about

some of the products and businesses around the country. Just natural conversation, isn't it? And it can range from anything from discount car yards to human trafficking. We can cover it all. We'll advertise anything on the station. I have no morals.

I will talk about anything. Do you know how many products we've put our faces on over the years, Ben? We sold our soul years ago. Yeah, we did. So they're called AdLibs and you kind of get given a script to read, don't you, to promote the product. Yeah.

And we've had some beauties over the years. But one yesterday we really enjoyed doing, actually. It was a lot of fun. It took the cake and it was a first for both of us. We could get through it. We didn't know if it was legit or not, but this was to do with advertising yams. Yams.

The vegetable. Yams. I don't think I've ever eaten a yam. Oh, not when you were little. I used to have yams all the time. Jenny Boyce made wonderful yams. The vegetable. Yams. I've never, I don't think I've even eaten a yam. Oh, not when you were little. That was, oh, I used to have yams all the time. Jenny Boyce made wonderful yams. She's got wonderful yams. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And roasts, back in the day, they were very popular. So now, obviously, we're going to need to get yams back on the market, back into people's thoughts. So that's why yesterday we had to talk about yams, but we couldn't quite get through it. Ben, you know how a song can take you back to a moment in life? You know how that happens?

Yeah. Yeah, well, I was in the supermarket the other day, and I saw yams. Yeah? And you know what yams? You know what yams reminded me of? What's that? Winter roasts as a child. Oh, you're always part of our family, winter roasts.

Talking of roasts, have you tried honey roasted yams? You've got to hold it together. You can't, you can't. You know how you hear a song and it takes you back to a moment in life? Well, I was at the supermarket the other day and saw yams. Yams. Yams take me back to my childhood. I haven't even thought of a yams for a long time.

Yams. Reminded me of a child. Yams. Yams. Yams is not. You're right. They need to advertise because I'm not thinking about yams. And now I am.

I've never given yams a second thought. You know how a song can take you back? You're going to have to come back to this. You can't. I can't pull that off. Ben, you know how a song can take you back? You're going to have to come back to this. I can't pull that off. Ben, you know how a song can take you back to a moment in life? I'm going to come back to this.

It took us an hour. It took us one hour to get a 30 second yam commercial. I feel like yams though, so it's working. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Play a fun little game called Reception Reception where we test out Aotearoa's receptionists to see if we can leave a message and they'll pass it on.

That's right, because we don't have a reception that we can leave messages at, so we like to leave messages at other people's receptions. And as you say, Jono, pass it on to one of us. So what you do, you ring up someone at random, you leave a message, normally embarrassing for me, and then I ring up and see if I can retrieve that message. Yeah, and it's been a 100% hit rate so far.

Yeah. Some great receptionists out there. I was, when you first started radio, you do any job, and they put me on reception. I was a shocking receptionist. I'd like, people keep calling back going, oh, you keep hanging up on me, and I was like, yeah, because I just can't, I don't know how to transfer.

Nothing's worse as a receptionist. You transfer a call through to someone, they don't answer, and it comes back to you. So you're going to leave a message at a random place for me now. I'll go out of the room, and then I'll come back in and see if I can get that message. I'll hear it for the first time. Off to the soundproof booth.

Here we go. Let's go through, Juliet. Kia ora. Kia ora. Yes, g'day. Yes, g'day. Yeah, g'day, mate. How are you? All right, yeah. Yeah, good. Listen, I was just phoning up leaving a message for Ben.

For who? Ben. Ben who? He gave me this number and he said I can leave a message with you and you'll pass it on to him. Oh, yep, yep. Are you all right to do that for me, mate? No, I'm not sure. I haven't got who's been. He was a customer of mine.

Customer of mine, and he said if I phone you, you'll take down the message and he'll call you and retrieve the message. Okay, yep. Is that alright? Yep. Yep, alright. Well, just tell him Darren from Dastardly Darren's

Dastardly Den phoned. Oh, yep. You got that? From Darren's phone. Darren from Dastardly Darren's Dastardly Den. Oh, yes, yes, yep, yep. You got that? Yep.

All right. Hey, the products he ordered have arrived in. Okay, yep, yep. The leather pants. Yep, yep, yep. The leather pants. Yep, okay, yep. I'll give it that. Yes, yep. The mask.

Yes, yep. The whip. That's the lead in, yes. And the handcuffs have arrived in too. Okay, yep, yep. And you got all those there, thanks. Yep, yep. And sorry, what was your name? Frank. Frank.

Yep, yep, yep. And so you can pass that on to him, Frank? I'll do that, yep. Tell him too that leather pants were the ones without the, um, they were the arseless ones. Yep, yep. Alright, Frank. Okay then, yep.

Yeah, thank you for taking that message. Okay, good day. Thank you. Thank you, Dave. Good right, Frank. Okay, then. Yep. Yeah, thank you for taking that message. Okay. Good day. Thank you. Okay, then. Good day. Bye. Ben, come back in from the soundproof booth.

How was it in there? All right? It was very quiet. Very quiet. I see a lot of laughter from everyone's faces in the studio. I don't know what about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so now you need to go back.

Frank, he runs a trucking and haulage company. Right. Okay, in Northland. And just say a friendly message for you. I'm just here to collect it, but you need to say your name's Ben, okay? Okay, well, that's my name, so let's go. Frank.

Frank. Okay, your name's Ben. Okay, thank you. Good morning. Oh, hi, is Frank there? Yes. Oh, g'day, Frank. My name is Ben. Okay, thank you. Good morning. Oh, hi, is Frank there? Yes. Oh, g'day, Frank. My name is Ben.

Oh, yes, yeah. A friend of mine apparently left a message here for me that I need to collect. Yeah, just this minute ago. It was about two seconds ago. Oh, yeah, do you know what the message was? He said that the clothing you've ordered has arrived. Oh, the clothing I've ordered has arrived. Oh, the clothing I've ordered has arrived.

Oh, great. And the mask. And the mask. Oh, yeah, okay, the mask. And the arseless pants. Oh, I've been waiting for a while because Korea's been quite slow recently because they're quite busy. Oh, that's good.

I'm pleased that's arrived. Yes, yep, yep. Anything else? Was there? Was there any other thing else? Not 100% sure. Okay, I was just expecting a few more packages, so I just wondered if they arrived.

He said whatever is written has arrived, yep. Oh, yeah, so someone's just saying handcuffs? Was it handcuffs? Yeah, yeah, that's right, yes. They were there? Yes, yep, you did mention those. Oh, he did. They're all there.

Hey, Frank, it's John or Ben from the Hits radio station here. Oh, yep, God. Yes, yep. You did mention those. I did. They're all there. Frank, it's Jono and Ben from the Hits Radio Station here. Oh, yep, yep. Nothing fazes you. I like you, Frank. You're great. Jono was just seeing what message he could leave for me at a random reception around the country because we don't have a reception of our own,

and you are a champ. Okay, yep, yep. That's right, yep. Yep, yep. You passed us. Yep. Yep, yep. You passed us on, but don't worry. I thought those pants might be for a politician. Oh, Frank, you are a Kiwi hero. Oh, Frank, we're going to find something for you to give you a prize because you're such

a good sport. Yeah, no, that's great. Yeah, good. Yep, yep, good. Yep. Thank you. Yep. Frank, hold the line, my friend.

I'll get it. Oh, you're so good. Thank you, yep. Frank, hold the line, my friend. Hold the line. Oh, that was so good. How good is Frank? Oh, yep, yep, yep. I want to get Frank back every day on this show. I didn't know you could hold a conversation just by saying yep. Oh, beautiful. Like starting your day without your morning coffee.

It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. At a very young age, in her teenage years, she sold her soul to the gossip devil in exchange for a goon sack and a shoeie. Producer Juliette is now dedicating her life to scandalous news and spies. So accurate.

Now, Billie Eilish, who you may know from this song, she's a very, very big one. I think five Grammys at the most recent ones. Her mum revealed that she almost sent her to therapy back in 2012 because of her infatuation with Justin Bieber, and I can relate. Oh, you're a massive Bieber fan, as we talked about on the show before. Paid $500 to meet and greet him, also go to the concert, but also $500 for the greeting and the meeting.

Yes, it was. Yeah, and I don't even think he said a word to me. It was just a quick photo, and then you had to leave. You met him through his troublesome, snotty teenage years. I feel like if you met him now, he'd give you a lot more time. Yeah, I think so. But do you look back at that period of your life and go, wow, that got away on me? Kind of.

I actually look back on that period of my life and I go, if my future daughter wants to skip a day of school to wait outside her favourite celebrity's hotel, I'm going to let her because that was once me and mum did not let me do that and I'll never forget that. So, that's convenient. Oh, you wanted to go and stalk him outside the Langham or something, did you? Yeah, I wanted to miss a day of school, she didn't let me.

So then the next day I went after school and that's actually when he came out. So, it actually worked in my favour. So, you saw him walk out of the hotel and what was the reaction? Just fever, a frenzy. Honestly, there's a video on YouTube of it all captured from behind and you can just see me sprint out to him.

It must be the soundtrack to his life. Oh, I know. Bebe everywhere he goes. He's staying in a hotel just hear screaming fans outside. Yeah, I know. You'd need to go into soundproof hotels just to block it all out.

We don't get any of that. We just get abused. Are you bored, idiot? Are you sorry? That's the soundtrack to our lives. And Tesla's website has crashed, well, crashed for a period of time. After Elon Musk, he launched his own range

of short red hot pants with the word sexy on the back. They sold for the red satin with the word sexy, but the E is a three in gold letters. 100 New Zealand dollars you can buy them for. Sold out and it crashed the website because everyone's just in hot demand. Do you have to take them to the

charging station like this car? Every couple of hours? Charge your pants up. Charge your pants up. We hopped in a Tesla once, remember? And they had their party mode and stuff where the doors would go up and down and lights would flash. There was all these cool little functions on the car. They even make blowing off noises as well and all sorts of stuff you can do. That's cool.

They had scientists and people that had worked on that. Can you make my Tesla do a fart noise? Yeah. That was his first request. Yeah. And it does. We didn't believe that it did, but it does. Really?

Does it actually do that? Wow. There's a whole lot of other random things you can make the car do. Oh, you can, it goes, it choreographs a dance to the symphony to an orchestra. Wow. And the doors go up and down and the boot comes out and it goes, it reverses back on two wheels and starts bouncing up and down. Yeah.

Some of that was made up, but a lot of it's true. A lot of it's true. Wow. And all completely necessary functions for a motor vehicle lot of it's true. A lot of it's true. Wow. And all completely necessary functions for a motor vehicle. Exactly, exactly. Game changing in the car is true. If your car's not passing wind,

you don't know, you haven't lived. True. For more SPAR, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, we've been doing this for the last couple of days and I've really enjoyed it, actually. Ending the show on a high note, why it's going to be a good day. Here's an example from yesterday. Yeah, hi. It's going to be a good day now, Sam,

because it's always warm during the day, and at night it's cool, and God, thanks to God, I woke up to see it and to make new memories. There we go. Lovely. Making new memories. Making new memories. I've never heard anything so lovely and adorable. So this is... You should be on a Hallmark card or something, you know? Every day is making new memories. new memories I've never heard anything so lovely and adorable so this is a hallmark card

or something you know every day is making new memories wonderful saying I might get that printed on a G string or something get a tattoo

making new memories yeah I'll get that on a tattoo on my lower back but get memory spelt wrong yeah just for a laugh memories with a Z

or something yeah just for a laugh just for a laugh that's what you do so it's thoughtful but also thoughtless you know at the same time but yeah I walked

down over here yesterday with a pep in my step. Did you? Yeah, I did actually. Lasted 25 minutes? No. Yeah, a guy was giving us a parking ticket. We abused him, but we abused him in a positive manner. No, I really do enjoy this.

So why is this going to be a good day? 0800 the hits is the phone number. 4487 on the text. We've got some Reading Cinemas vouchers to give away to some of our favourite calls. Just $10 movie tickets you can get right now at Reading Cinemas. It's going to be a great day for me because I cleared all 2,000 of my emails this morning.

I just selected all and deleted them and I feel great. I tell you what, it's going to be a good day for me. Last night, I went to bed, slept for a bit and I woke up and I thought, oh no, it's going to be close to the alarm and it was only like 12.55. I was like, I saw you a few more hours ago.

It's better than anything else you can do in bed, that. I think so. Honestly, waking up and it's still midnight, you're like, oh, jeez. Yeah, we just think the alarm's going to go off. But let's go to the phone, shall we? Why is it going to be a good day in Glen Eden, Chanel? Hello. Hi, my kids have gone off to spend the day with their great-grandparents who are 90 years old.

Oh, their 90-year-old grandparents are looking after your kids? That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. At least you don't have to look after them, Chanel. I must say they're supervised by their 65-year-old auntie. Oh, that's good. What a special thing to do, right? It is, and they do lovely things

like play on the recorders and sewing, and I get there to pick them up and they bake me scones. Oh, that's awesome. Well, you enjoy your day to yourself, and we're going to give you a double pass to Reading Cinemas, all right, so you can go to the movies. Awesome. Thank you so much. Good on you.

It's going to be a good day unless you're going in for an operation and they mess it up and attach an arm to your forehead or something. Still, that's a good thing. Handy to have a trunk arm, isn't it? Let's go to the phones. Abby, Christchurch, it's going to be a good day. Why? Because today's my Friday.

I've got six days off. Oh, Abby. Well played, Abby. What are you doing right now? Right now, I'm actually standing at the window looking at the torrential rain in Christchurch. Oh, she's standing at the window. Well, you can go to the movies. There's a Reading Cinemas at the Palms in Christchurch, so you can go along there and enjoy.

Wicked, thank you. You enjoy your six days off. Yeah, I will. I see why James Corden is such a lovable persona, isn't he? Such a nice guy. We should do more nice guy things, Ben. Yeah, I know. This is good.

This is good. I like this. Hey, Carol Ann phoned yesterday. She's back again for some more positivity. Yesterday she explained the basic structure of a morning and night. What have you got for us today? What insightful quip today, Carol Ann? Well, it's the same as yesterday. Beautiful weather here,

but I'm ringing on behalf of my daughter, Kieran, because she lives in Auckland and she's been unwell yesterday and today she's feeling a lot better. She's gone back to work. And she manages a coffee shop in Queen Street. And you know the best thing of all that helped her out? Her boyfriend, Benjamin O'Leary, who is the guitarist for Drake's Project,

rang her up and made her feel good about herself. Oh, I enjoyed that. We'll pass to the movies for her. Thank you so much for listening to our show. We'll catch you tomorrow from six. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from six on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.