Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - July 10 - The A To Z Of New Zealand, $20 Karen, Where Have You Fallen Asleep?

Episode Date: July 9, 2020

If you're a Kiwi and you don't know who $20 Karen is, well, have we got the podcast for you. A voice message she left for someone went viral a few years ago, and we had her on the show - you'll love it because she is such a classic Kiwi character. Jono also had a new addition to his "look" that the rest of the team hadn't noticed so he front footed that! Finally, Ben fell asleep in an interesting place so we threw it out there to see the strangest place our listeners had fallen asleep, and there were some beauties!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Hey! Welcome to the podcast. It's good to have you with us. Lovely, lovely intro there, Jono. I thought I'd be a bit more upbeat because I've listened to a couple of these and I'm like, alright, here's another podcast, you know?

Yeah, you're right. Bring a bit of zest to it. It's a fun Friday and it's a fun Friday podcast for you today. A $20 Karen. She is someone who became famous in New Zealand for a viral video. She wanted to get back her $20 that someone owed her and she joins us on the show today. She's very funny.

Quite an aggressive debt collecting method she employs for $20 as well. But I suppose if you're a debt collector and you're needing your money back, a dollar's a dollar. Yeah, $20 is $20. That's right. $20 or $20 as well, but I suppose, you know, if you're a debt collector and you're needing your money back, $1 a dollar. Yeah, $20 is $20. That's right.

$20 or $20,000, you've got to get your cash back. As well as that, All Black Richie Mwanga joins us on the phone today as well. Yeah, it was great to have him on ahead of the weekend. Okay, what are you doing this weekend? Well, I'm with you. Oh, you were working. Yeah, I know. We've got two days of filming this weekend, haven't we, for a new show that we're doing. So that's what I'm doing. Yeah, it's non-stop, isn't it? We're seven days a week at the moment, you were working. Working all weekend. I know. We've got two days of filming this weekend, haven't we, for a new show that we're doing.

So that's what I'm doing. Yeah. It's non-stop, isn't it? We're seven days a week at the moment, you and me. Non-stop. It's not real work, though. You can't moan about it. But I like to moan about it.

There's people out there doing real work. Yeah, I know. But I like to moan about my easy job. Don't moan about it. Let me moan. The hardest thing you're doing right now Is trying to sound positive Going into our podcast And that is a mission My cold dark heart Isn't used to this positivity

Alright enjoy the podcast And we'll keep battling on with this job We're on the cold face Doing God's work The soggy cornflakes of radio It's Jono and Ben on the hits We are on a mission To treat Barb to some of the greatest

Videos on the internet Yeah Bill are on a mission to treat Barb to some of the greatest videos on the internet. Yes! Billions of videos. My favourite video. Billions of views. Panda! Oh my god! But what are the greatest?

That is adorable. This is Gone Viral. Who's Barb, I hear you say? Yeah, that's what I was just about to explain. Barb is a listener of the show. She hasn't seen any viral videos on the internet, so we thought we need to play her the best viral videos as voted by you guys.

So each show, we put a couple up against each other and 4487 on the text, you vote for your favourite. Here's the next round. Gone Viral Video Challenge. Karen wants her 20 bucks back. Versus Ain't Nobody Got Time For That. Okay, Ben, you want to champion which one today? I'm going to go with Ain't Nobody Got Time For That. All right, Ben, you want to champion which one today? I'm going to go with Ain't Nobody Got Time For That.

This was basically a few years ago in the USA in Oklahoma City. A lady by the name of Kimberly Wilkins, she was interviewed on the news after having escaped a fire in her apartment complex, and this is what she came up with. I said, oh, Lord Jesus, it's a fire. Then I ran out. I didn't grab no shoes or nothing, Jesus. I said, oh Lord Jesus, it's a fire. Then I ran out. I didn't grab no shoes or nothing, Jesus. I ran

for my life. And then the smoke got her. I got bronchitis. Ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time. I couldn't figure out if she, ain't nobody got time for having a fire in your house or ain't nobody got time for bronchitis. All of it. Both are very inconvenient.

Both are very inconvenient. Then they turned it into a song. Ain't nobody Got Time for Bronchitis? Oh, all of it. Because both are very inconvenient. Both are very inconvenient. And then they turned it into a song. Ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time. Ain't nobody got time. Ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time for that.

That's a very catchy song. So if you like Ain't Nobody Got Time for That, if you think that's the video that we need to play, Barb, then 4487 on the text. And next up, another local flavour. $20 Karen, the fiercest debt collector in the game. She's so fierce, she won't even let $20 go. I tell you what, I'll get my $20,

or she's going to get $20. Who knows why Karen was owing $20? I don't know what something would be the retail value of $20 in the market. I can't think of a bet. Who knows why Karen was Owning $20, I don't know what something would be The retail value of $20 in the market I can't think of a bet This was in Stokes Valley a few years ago This was a message that Karen Left on somebody's phone trying to get her $20 Back and she's going to join us next

On the show to explain more about it But if you want to vote for Karen, $20 Karen 4487 Remember to double pump the vogels It's Jono and Ben on the hits We're trying to find the best viral videos to play to a listener of the show, Barb, who's never seen any viral videos, so you

can vote for your favourites on 4487. This is one of the ones you can vote for. $20 Karen. It's a Kiwi icon. Hello, this is Karen. Rachel thinks she can ignore me and hide from me for her $20 lousy dollars.

She won $600 at the pokey at the Stokes Valley Bar. And she said to Jade and Dion, don't tell Karen you've seen me because I owe her 20 bucks. I'll tell you what, I'll get my 20 bucks or she's going to get 20 f***ing whacks. Not my fault she's a mental crazy lady. Not my fault your daughter's all f***ed up. Okay? I want my money. No one's got more

fired up over $20 than $20 Karen. She really kicked it up a gear there. Move through. Oh, I tell you what, it doesn't get more Kiwi than that. It's a piece of New Zealand history like the Treaty of Waitangi. So we're going to go through to our old friend, $20 Karen, who we've spoken to a couple of times before.

We said we'd send her out some prizes. Oh, at other radio stations that we used to work for, right? So, yeah, we'll see if she brings that up. Let's go through, Producer Juliet. Hello? Hello? Is this our old mate, $20 Karen? Yes, it is.

It's your old mates, Jono and Benjamin here. Jono and Benjamin. Blimey got my prize. Oh, yeah, we did. I knew you were going to hit us up about this. So we promised you a prize. We didn't send it out, but then we did. I think it was Nando's vouchers or something.

Yeah, it was, and it was lovely. I took my friends' sons with me. Yeah, we patched up our relationship. We've had a rollercoaster of a time together, Karen, you and us, haven't we? How's your guys going now anyway? Oh, we've got a new job, Karen. We're working at the...

Yes, you're being family men, aren't you? You're being family. That's right. Good on us. So you be careful about what you bring up from our past together, Karen. What films are you going to say about us? I feel like a politician who's got some skeletons in his closet and Karen could expose them at any time.

Oh, bloody Ann. You know Hamish Walker? Take the L out and put a bloody N in. I don't know who he is. You know Hamish Walker, take the L out and put a bloody N in. I don't know who he is. Well, I didn't know who he was until he decided to elect poor patient's private information. Oh, the National MP. And that Michelle Boe, well, I always knew she was a badass.

Oh, God, we're really going to fight her. We're getting into politics with Karen. We're going to go on my channel, though. I didn't think we'd get into politics. Now, who do you think is going to win the election, Karen? Well, I hope it's my girlfriend, Jacinda. You think she's going to romp in? National don't look after beneficiaries.

A bit paved, they stick beneficiaries in motels and they stick returnees to New Zealand in hotels. Oh, OK. Oshwan's at that. Karen, you could run for Parliament. You've got some opinions and policies. I've got some opinions and policies. That's why I've got my own channel. Yeah, OK, Karen, do a pitch.

Why should people vote for Karen in this election? Because I say it as it is. I don't beat round the bush. Like Todd effing Muller. Who the hell is he? Get rid of the R and put a T in. It's hard when you do those spelling ones because it takes us about five seconds to figure out.

I think I have to work these out later. And find out if we can play these later on on our family-friendly station, Karen. Family-friendly? That's definitely not me. Have you got a family? We'll be friendly to you, mate. Yes, I've got a family.

That's why I moved to Christchurch for them. Oh, lovely. You're cautious now, Karen, are you? You would be a wonderful slash terrifying grandmother. But I'm not. They love me. I'm sure they would. They come to Nana's house when they're not supposed to.

Yeah, you wouldn't want to be caught in the playground bullying one of Karen's grandkids, would you? No. I've already had to go to somebody for that. Look, you're only half his height because my 14-year-old grandson's 6'4". Oh my God. Oh my God, alright.

I keep telling him to get his hands around a basketball, but he doesn't. He plays guitar and piano and drums. He wants to play piano. Get your hands around a bloody basketball. You're tall enough. Get around a basketball, grandson. $20, Karen, the famous call where you wanted your $20 back.

Did you ever get $20? Before it went out on YouTube. Oh, did you? On the Wednesday. It was put out on the Friday, yeah. And everybody goes, where's the Stokes Valley bar? Oh, yeah. Valley's a place.

Oh, and so who was the person that owned you? Dion and Jade are two guys. Oh, Dion and Jade, they run the bar. No, they just came to my house, crashed the night, and told me the next morning about it all. Oh, you became... And then I had a few drinks and had a few spews. I decided to leave her a message,

but she'd lost that job to somebody else's phone because it was a work phone. So they put it on YouTube. Oh, it got put on YouTube and then you became famous. Well, not really, sort of, eh, see me? Yeah, no. Long came Guy when I slipped off to Christchurch. He found me. Oh, yeah, Guy Williams, he did a big story on you and it went gangbusters me. Yeah, no. And then along came Guy when I slipped off to Christchurch. He found me.

Oh, yeah, Guy Williams. He did a big story on you and it went gangbusters again. Yeah. I went to a stag. Have you looked at my YouTube channel? I haven't seen Karen, $20 Karen's YouTube channel. What's the channel called? Have a guess.

$20 Karen. 20 f***ing wax. Karen, mate. And I've got an Instagram. Mate, remember we started this thing going family friendly yep

but anyway it's called 20 f wax thank you and I've got an Instagram and it's that's the title as well

on Facebook 20 okay oh listen $20 Karen it's always a pleasure talking with you and guess what

we started this conversation with you moaning about something that we hadn't sent you, and we're going to send you something else now. I think we've got some Hell Pizza vouchers this time around for you, all right? Oh, wow, awesome. I haven't had Hell's Pizza for a long time. Well, there you go. We'll send those out, and hopefully we will,

because we know what happens if we don't send the prizes out. That's right. You'll be getting on my YouTube channel. Outed on YouTube. Shamed on YouTube. You've got to have a look at it. You'll love it. I went to a stag do.

I went to a stag do and gave the guy, the groom, 20 f***ing wads. It's all on my YouTube channel. Kerry, can you stop swearing? You need to stop. I can't help it. I know. It's her thing.

Our poor sensor next door is working know. It's her thing. Our poor sensor next door is working overtime. It's her brand. Oh, Karen, it's good to catch up. You take care of yourself. Yeah, good to catch up, guys, and I'll be looking forward to my vouchers. Stay there, Karen. Love your work.

Okay, love you guys too. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Now, it is school holidays at the moment, so yesterday afternoon, my wife and I took, we ended up taking four kids to the movies because each of our friends had kids,

had friends, you know, over there. So it was, you know, six of us went to the movies in the afternoon. It's a big movie group. It's a lot of people to keep in charge of. Yeah, and, you know, since doing this job on the Breakfast Radio, you know, we've been getting up early,

a lot earlier than we're used to in the mornings. I'm not really a napper. I haven't napped once in the afternoon. He's not a massage or he's not a napper. I just like to keep going. He's not a cake eater.

He doesn't eat chips. Just get up and just keep going and don't stop. But yesterday at the movies... He's running on pure fear, this man. Yesterday at the movies,

it was, you know, I kind of stopped because you're sitting there and you're having to sit there for sort of two hours. Yeah, now's the time to relax. And I was relaxing. I was like, hey, this is good.

I was really enjoying the movie. I was seeing Trolls World Tour. I was enjoying the movie, but then I stopped and then slowly I just started to sort of drift off. And apparently I was snoring. Well, apparently I was snoring. Go, I was, because this is what my wife recorded. Because there's audio evidence.

My wife recorded it right up next to my nose. Thank you. Like a lot, lot, lot, lot bigger. Well, that's a deep snore too. You're tired, baby. So a wonderful sleep and enjoyed the movies as well. I love how your whole family's

first reaction is just recording anything that goes on in your life. Even your wife's picked up the ball. She was like, you were snoring? Did you record it? Yeah. Oh, great.

Now I'll go back to sleep. I went to the movies once and Sonny Bill Williams was there and he must have been very tired as well because he started, he was dead asleep. I was like, Sonny, Sonny, can I have a selfie? I took a selfie anyway when he was sleeping. It was a little bit creepy. I'll find out next Sunday.

So we thought we'd throw it out there this morning to make me feel a little bit better. Where have you fallen asleep? Oh, you know, probably the strangest place in my younger years, I'd sleep anywhere. In cars, in beds, under the motorway. Some great options. Dumpsters.

I was basically homeless, no. But I think the most unusual one was when I was first starting out in this job, you do everything, you know, and so I was working on reception. And during the lunch break, they just put up a sign that said, Reception's closed for lunch.

And I was a bit tired. So then I went under the desk and slept on their giant mail sacks that they had under the desk. And I slept on them. And then I woke up with a shocking rash. A rash all over my body, which I pinned on chisels because I ate a bag of chisels afterwards and I was like, chisels have given me a full

body rash. Definitely the chisels. Because I went back on reception and people were coming up to reception and they're like looking at me like, oh, you okay, buddy? And then I caught myself in the mirror and I was like, dear God, I look like a cast member from the Avengers or something. Wow. And, yeah, so that was, I put it down to chisels, and so I've had post-traumatic stress disorder from chisels ever since.

But it was the mailbags. I don't know what was on those mailbags. I'm confused. How did the chisels give you a rash? Yeah. Well, like he's making an excuse. I'm a sensitive person. Okay.

Sensitive wee soul. Mate, there's so many jokes I'd love to do right now but I'm not going to I'm just going to say yeah it was definitely the cheesles It was cheesles and all the mail bags Anyway You're focusing too much on the cheesles He seems to be putting the slander towards

Anyway Anyway You came to work with pink eye the other day You came to work with Pink Eye the other day. No, I didn't. You came to work with a pimple. Oh, jeez. Everything. The wheels are falling off

on a Friday. I under the hits is the phone number 4487. Where have you slept? We're not looking for things like beds. You're not looking for that.

You know, we're looking for more... You're not looking for Jono's mum's house. We're not. We're just looking for the more obscure places that you have slept.

Neil, how's Christy this morning, mate? How's it going, guys? Good to have you on, buddy. Where'd you fall asleep? I fell asleep on a public bus and woke up at the prison out at Papamoa. Oh, okay.

Would you fall asleep on a prison bus? Were you sentenced to prison, or was this just... That's just where the bus ended up at service at the time. It was quite a few years ago, but yeah. I just fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I was at the prison. Oh, right, OK. You ended up doing 10 years.

You got out of five from good behaviour. Well done. Good on you, Neil. Appreciate that. Laura, on 0800, the hits, where'd you fall asleep, Loz? I fell asleep on the back of a motorbike. Hopefully you weren't driving. No, I was pillion.

I was pillion. But, yeah, I fell asleep on the back of a motorbike. My dad was driving me back from an orthodontic appointment, and I was exhausted, and he felt my helmet tapping against his helmet and pulled over, and I was down to sleep. How fast was he gone? At least 100.

Oh, my God. Seems like an unusual mode of transport to take someone back from an AP, and I was surgering. Hop on the back of the motorbike. I've just had surgery. I'm a little groggy, but all right. I've just amputated my arms. Hop on the back, mate.

It's all good. We're going to send you out a Beco Natural Skincare and Supplements package, all right, worth over $250. Thank you so much. Look after yourself, Laura. Thank you for listening. And Whangarei Joel's on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast.

Where'd you fall asleep, mate? Hey, orthodontics chair while they were wrenching my mouth with the pliers. Oh. How did you manage to fall asleep in that situation? Oh, it was just reclined, had a big lunch, you know, and I got used to it after five years of appointments. Yeah, and there's the sun streaming

through the window. It's a relaxing environment. The dentist can be. Well, can be, but then sometimes they can do things to your teeth that aren't so relaxing. So you've done great there. Someone texted in, actually, you might appreciate this, Joel. I'm a dental nurse and literally fell asleep in the patient's mouth with the suction tube down their throat.

Yep, yep, that's me. How are you doing? Thank you very much. Kimbo. How are you, Kim? Good, thanks. Glad you pumped. It's Friday, eh?

Oh, yeah. Where did you fall asleep, buddy? Well, it wasn't me per se, but I'm bloody pumped. It's Friday, eh? Oh, yeah. Where did you fall asleep, buddy? Well, it wasn't me per se, but I'm a kindergarten teacher, and I happened to check in in the children's bathroom, and one of our little boys was sound asleep on the toilet. Oh. Do you know, a friend of mine sent me a photo of his son who had done what you do in toilets, but hadn't flushed?

Right. But what he had done is gone to get a bit of paper and written Steve on it, his name, and then put that on the toilet seat just to go, hey, just so you know. Like a picture, you'd write your name on the picture. Yeah, no, he's like labeled. This is mine?

I've done this. Just left it there. Didn't flush it. Just to go, hey, just so you know. Like a picture, you'd write your name on the picture. Yeah, no, he's like labeled. This is mine? I've done this. He just left it there. He didn't flush it. Now, Kim, if you don't call yourself Kim de Garden, there is a crime against puns. Rebrand the Kim de Garden. Kim, because you had to put up with that terrible joke, we're going to send you an Abiko natural skincare

and supplements package worth over $250 as well, right? Awesome. Thank you so much. That's what you get for politely laughing at partners, mate. We reward you. An indulgent pack of Abiko Natural Skincare and Supplements. Sure to look after you inside and out. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now,

in Australia, in Melbourne, Victoria, the whole state has gone back into lockdown again, and we thought we'd catch up with a Kiwi friend of the show over there. You'll know her from Jace and PJ. They used to be on ZM here in New Zealand. They're now the Kiss Breakfast Show in Melbourne. PJ Harding, we've had you on hold.

How are you going? Guys, you just played Dave Dobbin while I was on hold. Way to make me cry in home, though. I think every New Zealand basically hold line has to have Dave Dobbin playing. It's a contract New Zealand signed with Dave Dobbin. Welcome home. What was it? What was the song? It was Loyal.

Oh, Loyal. You can call me loyal. I'll just sing Dave Dobbin songs. Hey, PJ, you're in lockdown, mate. Oh, seriously. I can't believe we're here again. I feel like it was like a truck and everyone knew it was coming but they were kind of in denial

now we're in lockdown for six weeks and it's just, I can't believe we're here again Where are you living? What are you doing? So I live by myself, I've got my cat which was the best spontaneous Isaac Hurch's last time so she's going to give me company

but yeah, I live by myself, sort of in a city, suburbs kind of. Are you in an apartment? Yeah, yeah, you'd say that. It's a little two-bedroom apartment. I've got a little courtyard. I've got a set lot of plants that I bought last time as well.

This might seem like a weird line of questioning I'm asking here. It feels like you're really delving deep here, Jono. What colour are your couches? Do they go with the other decor in the house? My duvet? Do you want to know what kind of duvet? Yeah, no, yeah.

What are you running there? Or a dirty laundry, literally dirty laundry. How is it going? Feather pillows? No, the reason I ask, the reason I ask is because six weeks is a long time and I want to know what sort of environment. Why don't you just ask that rather than the weird sort of, I want your gate pin.

I don't have a gate. Oh, okay. Just walk straight in. You want my key? Yeah, where do you leave that? In the power box out the front. Oh, yeah, great, great, great. So PJ, explain to us, because obviously lockdown in New Zealand

was quite strict, but in Australia, from what we understand, doesn't seem to be quite the lockdown that we experience. Is that right? Yeah, well, so we, I guess the main difference is that we get, we can get over-eat, you know, we can get takeaway food, you can go to cafes and do the takeaway stuff, but you've got to be in and out. And basically the directive is, you know, it's back to essential stuff.

So you can go out exercising, go to work if you are an essential worker. So disheartening too for the business owners. That's, you know, that's the, I mean you find yourself sort of getting down and out and then you're like, look, I've got a job. I'm one of

the lucky ones. These businesses are literally just hanging in there after what's just happened. They're just getting back on their feet. Even just lucky ones. These businesses are literally just hanging in there after what's just happened. They're just getting back on their feet. I've just been out in country Victoria and you see those businesses. It's a fucking big year with the bushfires.

That put them out for a few months and now it's gone into this. People are just literally at the end of their tether. Hopefully. We had a fright yesterday. Someone who was in isolation went literally at the end of their tether. So hopefully. We had a fright yesterday. Someone who was in isolation snuck out of the hotel and went all over the place,

up to all sorts of shenanigans. And then they found out they had... Did they go to Countdown? Yeah, they went to Countdown, you're right, and then they found out they tested positive for coronavirus. So yeah, we're a bit scared in New Zealand that things could go back to kind of what you guys are unfortunately having to do.

What are you, what's the current sort of number of people? Oh, so I think we've got 22 cases at the moment, but I think they're all kind of found at the border, so nothing in the community, I think. I've got a theory that we all put them on a barge and just get our foot and push them out to the ocean, and then they're, you know, they're not our problem. I don't know if that's a good way. Our numbers go down instantly. No.

Sounds like such a good idea. Yeah. Facemaster thing over there in Australia, because I was thinking, PJ, you could bring out your own line of PJ masks. There's many business opportunities. She already got my... Hey?

Now, what Ben was referencing there, he's an older gentleman. I've got young kids. He's got young kids. Did I miss you, Joey? Yeah, PJ Masks is a great little kids' show that's on Disney Junior, I think. Yeah, and that obviously landed like a beauty. Come on, Ben.

Thanks, PJ. Thanks, PJ. It's got a theme song as well. PJ Masks. PJ Masks. That's what we talk about on the hits, PJ, is stuff that relates to kids. Okay, mate?

You guys really have settled down, haven't you? Oh, yeah. No more downtrowing for us, mate. Family-friendly fun right now, PJ. Oh, good to talk to you. In fact, we've talked to you long enough. You might say something filthy and shocking. We can't handle that.

You're going to have to keep safe over there. Yeah, well, I'm not going to be that person who makes banana bread this time around. I think we all learn a few mistakes. I'll stop talking to my cat as much. I've actually just started watching the Kardashians. What have I done? Oh, you did that. I disappointed myself.

Oh, jeez. Disgusting. Don't tell Oh you did that I'm not going to support it myself Oh jeez Disgusting Don't tell me what happens I'm only up to season two I don't know what happens with that family There's a whole lot that does happen It's a rollercoaster PJ stay safe

Love to Jase And lovely to talk to you Yeah you do See you matey That's PJ from Jase and PJ Oh she's still there Wrapping her up a bit early There for a moment

Let's move on with the show, that's what I say. Even when the guests are there. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We like to play a game show, which is quickly becoming New Zealand's favourite game behind Drink Out of a Shoe and Who Wants to Marry a Sheep?

It's called Don't Call Us, We'll Call You, where we just ambush people going about their day with the world's easiest questions. Yeah, they don't call us up. As the name suggests, we call them. And right now, let's make a phone call and surprise someone with a game show. We're heading through to Huntley in the Waikato.

Afternoon, it's Giles. Hello. Goodbye. How are you? Good until you run. You don't even know who it is. Wait until you find out who it is, then you'll be really upset. Yeah, I know.

It's Jono and Ben from The Hits. Yes. We're playing a game. It's called Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. Do you know it? Yeah, I've heard it. Oh, yeah. We just want to ask you four quick questions and you can win some Hell Pizza.

Yep, whatever. I like you. You're like the most disinterested game show person ever, and I love it. How come you're not surprised in any way at all that we've ended up calling you? Nothing surprises me. Nothing surprises you?

Are you just worrying about it, eh? No, that's right. What's your name? Kevin. Nothing surprises Kevin, and Huntley, he's right. What's your name? Kevin. Nothing surprises Kevin and Huntley, he's seen everything a human needs to see.

Are you ready to answer for a pretty low... I can try. Okay, Kevin, you know the format. Don't need to explain it to you. Nah, I don't know nothing. Best way to be.

Drake, the rapper. His real name is what? A, George Constancellus, B, Aubrey Graham or C, Barry Berenson?? A, George Constancellus, B, Aubrey Graham, or C, Barry Berenson? A. Not George Constancellus. It was B, Aubrey Graham. Oh, I missed out.

$10 where the hell pizza goes begging. Tawa and Karori are suburbs in which city? Wellington. There we go. There we go. He's back on the board. The Golden Labrador is the world's most popular what? A.

Retriever. Golden retriever. Oh, he's so good. He's jumping in. And finally, your final question. Kingswood and Cortina are types of what? Cars. Oh, Jesus.

Because you're so good on the other ones, we're going to give you $40 Hell Pizza. Oh, thank you very much. $40 Hell Pizza. There you go. You can enjoy that. I will. He will. You sound equal pizza. There you go. You can enjoy that. I will. He will. You sound equal parts suspicious.

He does. Yes. Happy at the same time. I love it. I love it. Yeah. Hold the line and we'll get your details. We'll flick you out a pizza voucher.

No problem, sir. He was awesome. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Yes. Billions of videos. My favourite Yes! Billions of videos. My favourite video. Billions of views. Oh my god! Oh my god! But what are the greatest? That is

adorable. This is Gone Viral. We are looking for the world's best viral videos. We want to play it to a listener of the show, Barb, who has never really been on the internet and never seen viral videos. So we're like, you need to see viral videos. This is our conversation with Barb.

Have you ever witnessed a dog reuniting with a soldier fresh back from war? No. Have you ever witnessed a panda sneezing, Barb? No. Have you seen Charlie when Charlie bit the finger? What's Charlie? Oh, Barb.

Oh, there's so much we need to show you. So we're on a mission to collect the top five things to you. We're putting them up against each other so that only Barb gets the creme de la creme of internet videos, viral internet videos. And today's round Gone Viral Video Challenge. Always blow on the pie

versus Sneezing Panda. Now, Ben, you've brought Sneezing Panda to the table. Explain further. It's quite hard for radio, quite a visual one. Yeah, I'm starting to wonder about this one. But it is about showing videos to Barb, so you've got to bear that in mind. Yeah, and it's not about great audio.

Because, you know, radio's not about great audio. The medium's not about that. No. So this is, of course, a video that's been seen millions of times around the world. Mother Panda, I think it was at a breeding centre in China, chewing away on some bamboo, a little baby panda next to it, and what a sneeze from the little panda. Have a listen.

Now, this is funny because it gives the mother a fright. I'm going to explain a viral video on the radio. I realise this is not great radio, but it is a great video, and that's what you need to bear in mind. Yeah, and a great pun because it's got pandas in it. When we're playing this for Barb next week. You know, we don't want something that just sounds good. We want to be able to watch something that's good.

Yeah, he's really pushing something up a creek there. Okay, let's have a listen to that sneeze again. Oh, what a sneeze. Now, just imagine everything else you explained. The mother gets a fright. We get a fright. Oh, it's so good. There was a time in life when I thought that was just cute,

but now, given the current climate, all I fear is that Panda has COVID. Yeah, true. That's my only concern now. You can just sneeze into the elbow, right? Okay, so sneezing Panda is up. Taking on another Kiwi icon. It's up there with Father's Day Sunday.

It's this. Three o'clock in the morning, you're buying a pie from a BP station. What must you always do? That pie's been in the warming drawer for probably about 12 hours. It'll be thermonuclear. Always blow on the pie.

Safe for communities together. Wow, who would have thought on Police 107 that a deadpan cop offering food safety advice would go gangbusters? Oh, yeah. What a great little phrase he came out with. It's become iconic in New Zealand. Always blow on the pie, right?

Not only did he blow on the pie, he blow up the internet as well with that. So those are the two on offer in this round. 4487 is the text. Which one do you think deserves to get played to Barb, the internet viral video virgin? Sneezing Panda or Always Blow on the Pie. Those are your two options. You can text us on 4487. We'll open up the phone lines this hour and we'll decide

which one goes through to play to Barb. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Yeah, this is where we like to hit you with the facts that Mike Hosking won't talk about mainly because he's above this information that we're about to share with you this is the news that's broken overnight

yeah these are some of the things that we find quite interesting and I realise today it's a little bit of a light news day and you may know that because the wonderful Ash Thomas that reads the news for us on the hits she padded out the news bulletin with us this morning the creators of Candy Crush are developing a version of Crash Bandicoot for iOS and Android phones. There's no word yet on when Crash Bandicoot on the run will be released.

Filler content. No, I love Crash Bandicoot. It's a great game. Is it a news story? I don't know if it's a news story, but anyway, we're here now, so we're talking about it again. I shouldn't really throw stones about filler content. We do three hours of filler content a day.

We don't really do important stuff. But in the news today that we found interesting, flying cars could be a thing in the not too distant future. In New South Wales, they're going to spend, it says just over a million dollars, which doesn't seem like a lot when you're looking at a state-of-the-art testing facility. That doesn't even buy you a house in Auckland.

But they reckon they could get cars that reach up to speeds of 300 k's an hour and get driverless as well. So they don't even need a driver. This seems insanely inappropriate. And six people will get inside these flying cars apparently. So no one's piloting them? No one's piloting them. They go fast. I mean, that's a bonus

because I can't even trust myself to drive a normal car. You've been in the car with me. Yeah, I know. Imagine if I was in the air driving a 300 k's an hour. And I was thinking like the elderly community, you know, the old deers and the Toyota Spackios

and you can't even see them over their headrest, head, their seat. How are they going to fly and drive a flying car? Well, it's driverless, yeah. And what are the rules? What are the air rules up there? We all go, wouldn't we? The Wild West.

So, yeah, Back to the Future kind of predicted this. By now, I think, Back to the Future movies thought we'd be having flying cars. Oh, yeah, the movie's in the 80s.

We were meant to be doing some pretty cool stuff by now. We haven't quite lived up to their expectations, have we? Well, that's good. And a million dollars seems like that's wildly... It seems like they came up with that in the 80s.

They go, and it'll cost a million dollars. You're like, wow, that's a lot of money. Now you're like, it's actually not that much. Oh, there we go. That could be happening very soon. Penguins on Zoom. If you want to Tinder date with a penguin, now you can do it. Oh, God, we were just bloody having a go at Ash Thomas about Crash Bandicoot. Now dating penguin. Now bestiality to the forefront.

Now the National Aquarium have taken up an offer. This is a napier that basically if you want to have a private, they're calling it a Tinder date. It's basically just a Zoom session with a penguin. For 15 minutes, you can get a bit of a behind-the-scenes look. One of the zoologists will explain some stuff about the penguin. You get 15 minutes and you pay $150 for that. For that privilege

to have one-on-one and Zoom with a penguin. Or you could go there and pay $20 to see them in the flesh. Yeah, but I guess if you can't travel at the moment,

like they've said the people in Utah and Hollywood have paid $150 to have a look at that. $150? Yeah. Have they seen Nat Geo?

They could watch YouTube. The people who are paying $150. This is a one-on-one with a cute penguin. They always look dressed up. They always look smart. They don't have the penguins in their little tuxedos. There's always those rumours back in the day that someone stole a penguin from the zoo.

Did you hear that one? Oh, in Christchurch? Oh, it was Wellington where I was from. So I think every place you go, there was someone put it into a backpack, a school kid walked out of the zoo with a penguin. So I think every place you go, there was like someone put into a backpack, a school kid and walked out of the zoo with a penguin. And I think every town you go to, there was a rumour that it happened at the zoo.

Did you hear the Christchurch one where there was some mad dog who had a backyard zoo with like wild animals from Africa and leopards and panthers and things. And the council were riding him like a racehorse, understandably. And he was like, oh, I'll just let them go. And then he one day released them.

And they just ran off into the wild, hence the Ashburton Panther. Oh, is that how they got that rumour? Which galloped from Christchurch to Ashburton an hour and a half away. Because someone had it as a pet and just released it. And now it's roaming the hills of Ashburton. But it's been roaming the hills for a very long time. An ageless black panther. It was like Christchurch's Joe Exotic,

so there you go. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them, they're chewy. It's John Owen Battle the Hits. Now, yesterday police officer Matthew Hunt was farewelled in an emotional and stirring funeral service at Eden Park. As we know, tragically, the 28-year-old police officer was fatally shot at a traffic stop

in West Auckland, June. Really, really sad. It was. I saw it on the news last night, and it came back to Mike McRoberts, who had tears in his eyes. It was so powerful. There's like hundreds of police officers on Eden Park giving him a haka. Oh, I didn't watch that one!

Very powerful send-off. And then the commissioner, obviously, was tearing up during the service as well. Matt was loved and respected by colleagues is very evident. He lived the police values and he seized the opportunities the job gave him to serve his community and make a difference. There's no higher calling than to serve, protect and care for others. Policing is defined by service to the community. Like his colleagues, Matt was an ordinary person doing extraordinary things.

Part of the satisfaction of policing lies in dealing with the unexpected. However, the unexpected also makes our job inherently dangerous. Yeah, there's Andrew Costa, the police commissioner. Very sad. Yeah, his family have said that it was Matthew Hunt's lifelong dream to be a policeman, so we're sending a lot of love out to his family and friends right now today. And to all the police every day, they're out there

sacrificing their lives for our safety, aren't they? And that's enough of a sacrifice, let alone a tragedy like this. So thoughts with the family, thoughts with the police. You do a wonderful job. Morning! It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. Producer Juliet's got some spy breaking news. Yes, so overnight, Glee actress Naya Rivera, who played Santana, is missing. So she went out boating with her son yesterday in a lake in California.

Someone found the boat with her son sleeping in it, and she wasn't in there. And when the son was asked, he's only four years old, when he was asked where mum is, he said that she went swimming and hasn't returned. So they're searching for her. They halted sort of last night just because it went too dark for them to continue the search,

and they're kicking it back off today. So they think she might be dead, but here's hoping. Very sad story. Yeah, here's hoping she's all right. All right, time for some lighter stuff. Yeah. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. Woke up this morning and brushed her teeth with salacious gossip.

Shocking for her teeth. They're all rotting to pieces. But I'll tell you what's great for this. Spy. So Trump has spoken out about Kanye West running for president. So you may remember back in 2015, Kanye announced that he was going to run for president. You probably could have guessed by this moment,

I have decided in 2020 to run for president. I don't think anyone in the room guessed in that moment he had decided to run for president. It was quite a surprise for everyone, right? It was. It was at the MTV Music Awards, right? It was. It was. That was at the MTV Music Awards, right? I remember he just went on ad libby rants for like somewhere in the middle of 20, 25 minutes during that awards ceremony.

So he covered some ground. Yeah. Maybe he forgot he had said that and was like, oh, I better live up to my promise. There was a great tweet the other day that I saw that someone said, well, imagine if he won and then he's getting inaugurated and he's just about to get, you know, sworn in as president. And then Taylor Swift gets up and grabs the mic. Oh, that's so good. That would be great. She's like, I'm going to let you finish.

But Obama had the greatest inauguration of all time. Yeah, that would be a lovely way to round that out, right? Yeah, for sure. But Donald Trump has spoken out about Kanye running for president. So he said that Kanye does have a real voice and can influence people, but that he'd probably have to use this election as a trial run to run properly in 2024. So obviously Donald Trump is not threatened at all by Kanye.

And I don't know if he should be. That's a very sensible answer from Donald Trump. Surprisingly, isn't it? Well, they used to be mates. Well, I'm pretty sure they probably still are mates. Ben, you're a big fan of Kanye. You purchased the vision-impaired Kanye glasses from the Bigger, Better,

Stronger era. Oh, yeah, that was a few years ago they had those glasses, yeah, and they had little Venetian blinds, basically, with glasses. Shocking for driving. I had those, too. Shocking for sun protection as well, too. Go to the beach with those. They're not doing anything. You just get lines on your face from the bin. Yeah, it makes it harder to see things.

So, really, I don't know. High rate of crashes, car incidents, so when those glasses came out. Maybe that'll be, you know, Kanye West if he wins. He might have those as his, like, equivalent of Make America Great Again hats. Yeah, maybe. And presidential Crocs.

He's released some Crocs last week, didn't he? He did, and they were horrendously ugly. But most of all, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram.

Now we need to bring in one of the team, producer Heidi, who is rolling her eyes, shaking her head, dipping her head back, giving all signs she doesn't want to participate

in this on-air radio break. Heidi's off to have a baby. Yeah, it's very exciting, Heidi. Yeah, thanks. Congratulations. You're going to have to give us more than that. I don't know what you're doing here. Oh, no, nothing. We just wanted to have a little chat with you because we're going to miss you. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. We can do that. Okay.

We won't take the credit for that, Producer Humphrey. You can hand that over. Producer Humphrey's come in with a gift from the team that we still need. Oh, guys. We actually still need to deposit money into Producer Humphrey's account. That's so nice. Thank you. But you're off to have a baby. And so my dream of an on-air birth is quickly diminishing. Yeah.

It looks like you're not going to give birth on air. How long have we got? We've got 40 minutes. 40 minutes. If you can pump it out in 40 minutes, that'd be fantastic. Is that what you say? No, I don't know if that's what you say. Yeah.

And I'm going to miss you, Heidi, because Heidi every morning comes charging in with her phone in front of her face, just filming us, catching us off guard, ambushing us. I'm going to miss that. For social media. Yeah, it's great content. Yeah, so what's...

No, you're bloody good at your job. We only work with you and the team for a few months, but we are going to miss you. Yeah. And you're going to be a great mum when you say that, and sometimes you don't mean it, but in this case, I mean it. Yeah, I don't know if you're going to be a great mum.

You might be a shocking mum. No one knows. You might accidentally drop the baby. Hey, well, if Jono and I could be parents, yeah, don't know if you're going to be a great mum. You might be a shocking mum. You might accidentally drop the baby. Hey, if Jono and I could be parents, hey there, you're going to do a great job. That is true. It's been wonderful working with you and I'm sure it's been an absolute highlight of your career. You can say that.

We'll leave that. The floor's open. It's up to you. Over to you. Great. Love touching words. You know I was with Tony Street before this. Yeah, you had a lot of before this yeah yeah one bit of advice I will give you is when you have a baby what you can use it as

is a passive aggressive argument portal okay so you can argue with your partner through the baby so if you're like

I think it's time for daddy to change the nappies and then he can respond and go does mummy know I've been at work all day? And then you come back with, do you call what I'm doing not work?

I've changed the nappies three, tell daddy I've changed the nappies three times today. And then he can come back and go, tell mummy I've been working today. And you can go. Okay, all right, stop Jono. I've noted that one down. We got the idea really probably about the first time you said through the baby, and then we got nine examples of a hypothetical conversation that obviously had happened multiple times at the bra house.

It's a therapeutic fear. Yeah, it is. We're going to go right through a precession. If you could press record on babies and play back what they've heard. Oh, yeah. Oh, mate. That's great. Hey, well, Heidi, well done.

Thanks. Congratulations. It's been real. Good luck luck Thank you When you're in labour Think of us Or not Or not

I don't know What do you think of When you're in labour Do you think of your colleagues I don't think you do right No I won't be Sorry guys No

Okay To be honest Hey go and raise a child good You've done a great job Thank you Thank you very much Oh there we go Producer Julius

That was so appropriate Justin Bieber There's always time For Justin Bieber Julius. That was some appropriate Justin Bieber. There's always time for Justin Bieber. Well, thank you. You playing that Justin Bieber actually gave us an out because I didn't know how we were going to get out of this. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jotterwood Band on the hats.

This is the A to Z of New Zealand where we phone every town and city throughout Aotearoa. We're doing one a day. And I tell you what, I feel like we're two calls away from being dragged into upper management to explain our exorbitant toll call bill. Aren't you? Yeah. It's supposed to be costing a day. And I tell you what, I feel like we're two calls away from being dragged into upper management to explain our exorbitant toll call bill. Aren't you? Yeah. It's supposed to be costing a fortune.

We're not paying for it. No, but it's a fun little way to get around the country. Yesterday, we were in the South Island town of Cheviot. Now, a lot of people stop off to and from Kaikoura. You welcome people to come

and have a pee in your town? Absolutely. We've got the pleasurest public toilets you ever hoped to see. So, today, where are we heading? The A to Z of New Zealand. We are calling a different town or city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day.

We're doing it alphabetically. And today, after about eight weeks of doing this, we've moved on to one of the biggest cities in New Zealand. Have you heard of Christchurch? I have heard of Christchurch. A little up and coming town, which is doing great. Now,. Have you heard of Christchurch? I have heard of Christchurch. A little up-and-coming town, which is doing great. Now, you spend some time in Christchurch. Spent a couple of years down there studying.

Really enjoyed Christchurch. It's a great city. One of the, we don't need to say what's in Christchurch because it's beautiful. You've got Hagley Park, and I said we don't need to say it, and then I started saying stuff. The Garden City, they call Christchurch. Beautiful gardens.

Annie and John Pryor, my parents, they live there. They love it, don't they? He walks up and down the street mowing all the berms. That's one of his hobbies now, is he mows. Some of my favourite things to do at Christchurch were food-related things. When I was a student, Dimitris made amazing souvlakis at Christchurch that you couldn't find in many other places in New Zealand. You couldn't even travel to Athens, which is in Greece,

and find a better sivilaki. And another place called, I think it's called Dumplings. They had $2 rice. I've hit you up about $2 rice before. As a student, $2 rice. They had this beautiful rice with this lovely sauce. And as a student, $2 rice. I was right, my sweet spot.

Beautiful and lovely, and $2 do not go in the same sentence. It was so good. It was so good. You've heard of me. I've talked to people in the office that have experienced it before. And they all rave about it. So that's called a place that does $2 rice. See if they still do $2 rice.

Because I imagine with, you know, with things being the way it is, maybe it's $4 rice now and that's fine too. That's still affordable rice. I feel like you're getting overly defensive about this rice. I am. You're starting to say as I'm already enjoying that rice. That rice pulled me through some times. Some times away from home, that rice was the rice. I am. You're starting to say I've already enjoyed that rice. That rice pulled me through some times. Some times away from home,

that rice was the only friend I had. Now, they used to be in the centre of town. I think they've moved to Rickerton. What's the name of it? It's called Dumplings. Dumplings, okay. Dumplings. Hello.

Dumplings, I love that answer. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Really? It is, really. We're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day, and today it's Christchurch's turn. Oh, yay.

Now, I'll just jump in here because Ben Boyce said dumplings raised him on that $2 rice of yours. Oh, yeah. You guys used to do $2 rice? We still do. You still do? Yep. Oh, it was so good. I studied in Christchurch.

You guys were in like Cashel Street Mall for many years, and I lived on $2 rice. Which is a shocking diet. I know, it's great. It's delicious. It's delicious. It is a shocking diet. She agrees.

She probably needs a mix of that. I've been brought up on it, so I can't complain too bad. It's so good, isn't it? $2 rice. $2 gets you a long way. It does, but I feel like it's too cheap. It's too cheap for what you're getting.

But $3.00 rice doesn't have the same ring to it. You're right. I know, but... $2.00 rice. It makes you more money. I know it does, but people would get angry.

What's the sauce on $2.00 rice? It's a gravy, but that's all I can tell you because it's a secret recipe. It's a secret recipe? Yeah. It's a secret recipe. You can go,

well, Colonel Sanders isn't going around telling everyone the... Exactly. Mate, once you're on's a secret recipe. It's a secret recipe? Yeah. It's a secret recipe. You can go, well, Colonel Sanders is going around telling everyone the 11th. Exactly. Mate, once you're on to a good thing, I'm going to take you to Christchurch. Next time we go to Christchurch, John, we're coming to $2 rice, all right? We're not open Sundays, by the way, so don't come in on a Sunday. Don't come in. Oh, we were. Okay, well.

Sunday's our Christchurch day. Yeah. Okay. Good to know. Good to know. Opening hours as well, just so we know. Just so we get it. I'm going to be there about 10.30 to about 4.30 Good to know. Opening hours as well, just so we know. I'm going to go about 10.30 to about 4.30 Monday to Sunday. I only like going to Christchurch between 10.30 and 4.30 on a Sunday.

So I don't know if this is going to work out. No, this is going to work. And I'm very suspicious you won't reveal what the ingredients are. Why would they? Why would their competitors? You don't want their competitors knowing about this $2 rice. It's beautiful. It's so good.

I might undercut us and do like $1.80 rice. Hey, listen, you and your $2 rice and your mystery sauce go and have a lovely day. Thank you so much. Nice talking to you. We'll see you for some $2 rice. Not on Sundays. Not on Sundays. Between the hours of 10.30 and 4.30 at some stage, Monday to Saturday.

Yeah. All right, see you, mate. Bye. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Howda Dad, the funny internet dad who creates internet videos that are hilarious,

has teamed up with all-black and crusader Richie Moanga to make a very funny video for HelloFresh. So, HelloFresh called the other day, and they said, can you make another episode of that Howda Dinner thing? So, my special guest today is Richie Moanga. How good is that? What is this?

It's gone gangbusters, that video this week. And right now we're joined by Crusader and All Black, Richie Moanga, welcome. Glad. How are you, mate? You've lowered your standards to appear on our radio show. Thank you very much. Hey, I'm just going to say, this is my first time ever talking to you guys. So it's actually quite a cool moment.

Oh, it's a bloody cool moment for us. We really appreciate it. No, thanks for having me. And loving the skit that you did with How To Dad for Hello Fresh. Very funny. Yeah, I will say I was carried by Jordan. He did a lot of it and yeah, he made it pretty easy for me and I'm

sort of glad it came out the way it did and a lot of laughs and it was quite cool. I know you did a fantastic job. Stop talking down your comedic efforts. You made it look too easy. That's my problem. Yeah, you play a confused looking guy in front of camera for a lot of it. Is that a role that comes easy to you?

Yeah, I guess when I'm in a situation where I'm sort of out of my comfort zone or I'm a bit uncomfortable, I just act a bit weirded out and I just sort of put my hands up and say, what is this? That's a good shtick to have. Now, HelloFresh, obviously, are you getting free? I hope you've got a free HelloFresh deal. Are they sending free food to your house Richie? I'm lucky enough

to be getting some meals bro so I'm actually really happy with that which is awesome are you a cool head in the kitchen because I get flustered there's too much stuff

going on for me in kitchens bro to be honest I'm horrible in the kitchen I'm a bit the same I get flustered but I think mainly because my mum she was such an awesome cook. I never had to do anything growing up.

And my wife, she's awesome too. So I've just really stayed in my lane. That's what I do as well. When it's my turn to cook for the kids, I'm just literally putting Kranskis in a microwave. In a microwave. How's that? He's not even putting them in a fry pan.

We've got Rishi Moanga with us on the phone, a New Zealand rugby star. Now, you're about to have your first child shortly, is that right? Yeah, bro. About six and a half weeks away from due date. So, last couple of nights, you know, I've been building courts, been building bassinets.

I've put a plan together. So, I feel like Bob the Builder at the moment. I found that the most stressful part about becoming a parent was having to do it like car seat and stuff. You're not giving Richie a very good you're like you're stress cooking dinner, you're stress making things. John is just stressed 24 7.

Wait till Christmas Day Richie when you have to start putting batteries in toys and you travel down to BP on a Christmas day. I'll have 39 A20 batteries, thank you. Yeah, I'm an uncle of 14, so I always give them back to their parents. I've had enough of them,

so I can't do that with my little girl when she's born. Are you more nervous about being a dad or playing your first all-black test? Because you played some amazing all-black tests for New Zealand, but what are you more nervous about? I'm not really nervous. I've grown up around kids. I've had heaps of nippies and nieces. I was an uncle when I was

like 10, so I've sort of changed nippies and done all that, but I'm more just excited and I guess just more hopeful that the baby's really healthy when she's born. And, I mean, you've got the get out of jail free card.

I've got to go to training. I've got to go to training. Training seems to take a lot longer than it used to take now. I've just been talking about that to her. Because at the moment, most of our days are half days. But she goes on maternity leave next week. And I said, oh, I think next week we start doing full days. Yeah, full days of training.

Non-stop training. Scott Robertson's really making us Crusader boys work hard this year. On a serious note, you must be kind of, you know, a bit of a blessing that the domestic competition is happening at the moment. You don't have to travel over to South Africa and things like that. Oh, for sure, for sure. And we've been, you know, even lucky just to be playing footy again. You know, when all this was going on, there was talk about,

hey, look, we're not going to get any rugby in this season. So the credits are the work, you know, New Zealand had done. But one of the boys, he had his baby just before lockdown, so he spent all lockdown with his newborn. And if you're a footy player, you just don't get that sort of time. But, you know, I want to be there for birth and anything else is a bonus. Now, Dan Carter, of course, back playing for the Blues, surprisingly, as a first five yourself.

Were you a little bit stoked they didn't choose Canterbury? Yeah, I know. He could have easily come in and taken my spot. So I'm really happy he didn't come to the Crusaders. But, look, it's just really awesome to have someone like him. He's world class and you don't get these players come back and

being able to give back to New Zealand rugby, so someone like him can add heat to the Blues. As a footy player and as a fan, it's good to see him. I'm just happy to see people turning out to Eden Park. Oh, it's great. The Blues haven't played in front of 10 people for about five years. What is all this noise?

It's called crowd cheering. It's amazing. It's amazing for New Zealand rugby. It's so good to see the support. And Richie Moanga, quickly before you go, I know before big All Blacks games and all games, actually you're walking in with headphones. What are you listening to?

And is it the hits breakfast on iHeartRadio? Just a quick question there. It'd be good advertising if it is, yeah. You know, something like Forever Now, Cold Chisel, or that awesome Bob Marley. Oh, there you go. We'll give the podcast a go, mate. We're just trying to boost some numbers.

I don't want to put him off his game. I don't want to be the recently all-blacks that play well. Richie Milngo's not coming out tonight. He's asleep in the changing room after listening to the John and Ben podcast. Hey, Richie, good to catch up with you, buddy. And great work on the HelloFresh viral video that you did with How To Dad. Very funny. Cheers, lads.

Thanks for having me. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's John and Ben on my head. Kia ora. I'm Ash Thomas, and this is the B***ing News. Cheers, lads. Thanks for having me. for us and have Juliet beep out certain words that we have to guess. Yes, exactly. You're ready for your first news story. Okay. All right, let's do it. Turkish paragliding instructor takes **** into the sky. Okay, so... Paragliding instructor. I reckon Turkish paragliding instructor took paraglider into the sky.

You hope so, right? That makes sense. I'll go with pie. It's a pie in the sky idea, guys. That's what I'm going for. All right. Turkish paragliding instructor takes couch and TV into the sky. Yeah, so he rigged it all up to a parachute.

So he's sitting on this couch and he has another connection to a TV hanging out in front of him. Brings up some snacks, watches some cartoons, and there's a video of it. And he's just chilling, paragliding while sitting on a couch, being a couch potato up in the air. So did they also have parachutes on the couches and stuff as well? Yeah, it was all connected, so there was extra safety. Yeah, because paragliding is different to a parachute. It's like the big wing, so it's all connected to the bars and everything like that.

Wow. Why? I don't know. Why? So we could talk about it. Yeah. For Radio Fodder, have you seen that video, actually, of this paragliding instructor and he's got a customer strapped on underneath him,

but the customer comes disattached. No. And so then the paragliding instructor is having to hold him with his arms as they land. And you can't get the thing down any quicker. But you've actually literally just got to hold on to the guy. It's like five minutes. Oh my gosh. And it's all from his helmet camera. just got to hold on to the guy. It's like five minutes. Oh my gosh.

And it's all from his helmet camera. And the guy obviously knows, the guy. The guy knows. He's like, his legs are hanging down so he's hanging vertical

and the other guy's hanging flat holding him. Wonderful core strength. They survived? He survived? Yeah, but he was like definitely dropped him probably about 10 metres

from the ground. He was like, I've got you no more, mate. It's terrifying viewing. I know. Next headline Juju. Liam Gallagher used a c*** to spy on band

The Stone Roses during middle of the night. Oh Liam Gallagher used a certain set of skills he acquired over a very long career to spy on Stone Roses. I was going to get

his going with a newspaper with the eyes cut out. You know the classic spy. One of those you know. Would that work? How did that method work for so many years and no one clicked onto it? I know.

I swear it was only a thing in movies, wasn't it? Yeah. Maybe not the MI5 and CIA were using that tactic, but who knows? Movies would lead us to believe they did. What was Liam Gallagher doing? Here we go. Liam Gallagher used a combine harvester

to spy on band The Stone Roses during middle of the night. So if you don't know what that is, it's basically a massive, huge tractor thing that makes so much noise, huge headlights. I think you need to climb a ladder to get up it. Well, the one that he did. And so he and another band shared a studio in the countryside and he wanted to spy on him, spy on them.

So he got this massive farming machine and like in the middle of the night just went down to the studio, got caught and then the band did the same thing to them the other night, the next night. But you said it's quite noisy.

Yeah, I know. So I don't know. He probably better off just walking down there, wasn't he? Yeah, true. True. But he probably hoped

to be disguised as a farmer of some sort. Yeah, I suppose that makes sense. I used a pervert camera to spy on Ben over the night, didn't I? Yeah. Hi, Def.

I've got you in all angles. Oh, God. Yeah. Good to know. I know what you're up to, mate. Neighbours' petty... Act sparks fierce debate online. Neighbours?

Petty? I don't know. I just think petty sex act, but I don't know. I'm not one of the pitiful sex actors. Yeah, well, maybe... It's probably just me. I just think petty sex act, but I don't know what a pitiful sex act is. Yeah, well, maybe it's just me. I reckon it's some sort of debate between putting rubbish in their bin that wasn't theirs because that flies people up in the neighborhood.

It does. It does. Not quite. Neighbours' Petty Lawn Mowing Act sparks fierce debate online. So you know how if you share a front lawn with someone, one neighbour decided to mow his side of the lawn but not the others, but the other half of the lawn, it's not even really half, it was like one metre wide of the neighbours that he just chose to not mow.

One metre. Whenever you see people doing those berms, like they've just gone to their fence line, you're like, come on, come on. My old man, I see yesterday, he's mowing the whole street's berms and grass. He does everyone's, doesn't he? He's got nothing else to do.

Oh, bless him. He's like, I just don't want the place to look shabby. I was like, mate, the whole street's berms and grass. He's got nothing else to do. Oh, bless him. He's like, I just don't want the place to look shabby. I was like, mate, the whole street. Who cares about the whole street? Yeah, no, but are you a lawnmower? I don't imagine you're mowing lawns. No, I tried.

I had one for a while. I put the wrong picture on it. It started smoking. Oh, damn it. Damn it. Nothing more embarrassing than taking it back to the shop and going, hey, it's smoking quite a lot. They're like, yeah, you put the wrong picture on it. Oh, no. Damn it. Nothing more embarrassing than taking it back to the shop and going, hey, it's smoking quite a lot. They're like, yeah, you put the wrong pitch. You're like,

oh, no. Damn it. You're almost better off just throwing it away and buying a new lawnmower before you even have to go back into the shop and ask the question.

That's what I wanted to do. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Big weekend of sport coming up. Auckland taking on Canterbury. Blues Crusaders. We've got Richie Moanga

from the Crusaders joining us after 8 o'clock. Yeah, it's a massive game. Auckland taking on Canterbury. Blues Crusaders. We've got Richie Mwanga from the Crusaders joining us after 8 o'clock. Yeah, it's a massive game. Yeah, all black Richie Mwanga. And the Warriors playing, of course, they had a win last week and they're playing in the Swan Dry yellow bush shirts this weekend.

The Warriors' first game in those. They got roasted for putting them up on the internet. Those tops, have you seen them? Oh yeah, the yellow and black ones. Checkers. Yeah, first time they're officially going to play in those tops. So good luck to them

they're like oh well better dust these off take the hit on those it could get any worse so there we go no I love the Warriors they had a good win last week

so hopefully they'll go alright this week now listen I'm not much of a sporting person don't really you know you are Ben

you're a big sporting fan I do like my sport like my Warriors like my Breakers like my Cricket yep but the UFC do you like the UFC no I no but it's very Ben, you're a big sporting fan. I do like my sport, like my Warriors, like my Breakers, like my cricket. Yep. But the UFC, do you like the UFC?

No, but it's very big. It's not for me. Not for you. You don't like the blood and violence? It can get a bit brutal, but the people love it. Yeah, well, from what I've seen of the UFC, you can literally do anything. You could rip a man's nose off, dip it in aioli and continue fighting. He would still fight without a nose this man. It's the ultimate fighting leg, right? And it seems like

it's a combination of, yeah, it's mixed martial arts so all sorts of martial arts categories. Yeah, and so Israel Adesanya, the New Zealander, does very well in that. And I wanted to pass, if we can organise a conversation with him, because I want to give him some advice. Okay. Because I have never, I've watched a bit of UFC,

but I've never seen any of the fighters adopt a tickling maneuver. Like no one, no matter how many abdominals you have or how many men's noses you've eaten, no one likes being tickled. No one. You could tickle to someone into submission in the UFC audience. And they'd be like, oh, this is unorthodox, but he's got it. I'm pretty sure David Ferrier made a documentary about this. Very specific fetish of tickling.

Yeah, I suppose he might. Because anything goes in the UFC in the octagon. That would really... Why not tickle? It would bamboozle your opponent, wouldn't it? Yeah, because you'd put them off their game. Yeah, I've also thought that why not the realistic approach when you just start going, ow, ow.

No one ever says that. If you started crying, you know, like if you started crying. Like someone hits you in the nose. That would probably throw off the competitor because no one wants to hit anyone that's crying. No, everyone takes it really well, don't they? Like being punched in the face 23 times in a row when you're lying on the ground.

A ref! Stop it! Stop it! It hurts! Yeah. So, yeah, let's try and get Israel on the show and I'll just pitch him this tickling technique. The TFC, the Tickle Fighting Championship. As I say, I think David Farrier made a documentary about that.

Yeah, I pay for that website. Another thing I thought in the sport of boxing, you know, because you're not allowed to hit below the belt in boxing. They're like don't hit below the trunks. So why don't you just come out to the ring in pants that go all the way up to the top of your head with eye holes under your arms at the side. I'm like Dr. Seuss.

So you're just a pair of pants but they wouldn't be able to punch you anywhere apart from in the arm. So you come out as a pair of pants. Yeah, with your eye holes cut in the pants. Massive pair of pants. And you've got your arms out through the things. And you're just pants. You wouldn't be able to hit below the belt.

Yeah, I mean, this is probably why we'll never make it in the world of boxing or UFC. Well, smart. I know it's done. Trying to find comedy alternatives to get out of fighting. Well, anyway, we'll try and get Israel on the show and pitch that to him. Want more Jono and Ben? UFC just because we're trying to find comedy alternatives to get out of fighting well anyway we'll try and get Israel

on the show and pitch that to him want more Jono and Ben you can catch up with the boys anytime just search Jono and Ben on Facebook I have come to work today

and I've made some adjustments to my machine okay no one's noticed anything your machine me my body

the machine have you yeah what have you done same hat. We've seen that hat before. We've seen that, obviously, the swan jar we've talked many times about. Yeah, Producer Juliet.

Nothing. And new shoes or something? No. No one has noticed the zit in between my eyes. The pimple. Oh, actually, I did notice that, but I didn't say anything. It's not something you bring up, though. You go, oh, he's a wee mate.

Yeah, no, it's a bit of a... He's still a wee mate. We've got another cast member to the show now. It's a mother effing P though and go, oh, he's a wee mate Yeah, no, it's a bit of a he's a wee mate We've got another cast member to the show now It's a mother effing P-I-M-P It's 50 Cent Woodside No, but what happens See, I'm a popper Are you a popper?

I'm a popper I'm a popper One of my favourite hobbies is watching pimples being popped on YouTube You do like that You've got quite a squeamish stomach in some aspects of life but you love watching pimples

It's the satisfying You know, it must be so satisfying when you, but you love watching pimples. It's the satisfying, you know, it must be so satisfying when you see a grotty old cyst on someone's back that's been... I can't do it. I can't watch it. I'm always like, how have these people let these get away on them? Yeah.

Like, yeah. Anyway, like some of the stuff draining out of... There's a lady who started a show, Dr. Pimple Popper. Have you seen her? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, she's made a whole series on them. But anyway, so I saw it there.

And it's a gamble when you pop a pimple, isn't it? It's either going to go really well, and you know immediately. You're like, uh-oh. It's so true. But I never learned from previous experience, because I'm like, uh-oh, this is not working. The only solution is to dig deeper.

Just keep going. Maybe I can get through this. You're right. Maybe some of the pimple gods are going to look down on me and all of a sudden it's going to come out. But no, I spent like 10, 15 minutes. I can't stop looking at it now. Same.

I'll tell you what it looks like. It looks like a... But I didn't think it was that bad. No, honestly, I didn't think it was that bad. But now I just can't stop looking at it. You're not even looking at me. You're keeping your eyes open. Oh, no, I feel bad.

Look at my third eye. Because I try and look at you in the eyes when you're talking. It's right there. It's right there. I'm like Cyclops. It's like a sniper's got a permanent shot on me in between my eyes. It's not that bad at all. Like, honestly, I didn't, you know, it's there, but it's...

It's there. Now it's a thing. Now it's a thing. Now it's a thing. You made it a thing now. Yeah, no, I'm sorry. Now both of you can't even look at me in the eyes. Need a bit of concealer. I should have brought some in for you.

Yeah, well, this is when I reckon. Why is he wearing sunglasses or something? Why is he wearing sunglasses in the office? I think he's quite cool today. Hey, guys. He's either very high or he's got a pimple he's covering. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jon very high or he's got a pimple he's covering. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Bitterly cold morning around the country. Negative 2.5, sorry, negative 4 degrees in Twizel. Negative 4? Negative 4 degrees. 4.2 degrees in Twizel, the coldest place in New Zealand. But then surprisingly, Stewart Island, 8 degrees, and Kaikoura, 9 degrees this morning.

Tropical. Yeah, so tropical. How does that work? It seems like there was basically a cold freeze, they call it, through the belt. The witch's belt buckle is what they've said today. Oh, the witch's belt buckle. That's a manoeuvre you get me to do on a Saturday night

when we've had a few, don't you? It's time for the witch's belt buckle. I'm not limbered up yet, Ben. He's like, put on that deflam, or put on your anti-flam time for the witch's belt buckle. I'm really, I'm not limbered up yet, Ben. He's like, put on that difflam or put on your anti-flam or witch's belt buckle and boy.

Difflam. Alright, let's get into this. Spy. No, what's up? Spy.co.nz Diffno, take a throat lozenger. We're doing the witch's belt buckle.

That's what it is. I was trying to think what difflam was. Yeah, it had nothing to do with limbering up my lungs. I was like, you're not a sore throat. Do you know if you're going to do those things?

He likes me to have a minty fresh breath. All right, producer Juliet, one of her favourite hobbies is dogging on the celebs and long bushwalks, isn't it? Those are her two favourite hobbies. Yes, absolutely. She's here for Spy Entertainment News. Amy Schumer, so when she announced she was pregnant,

the next day a bunch of paparazzi turned up at her house and she was like, right, well, I don't want them to bombard me after I've announced I'm pregnant. So what she did is she got her sister-in-law to dress up like her, carry her dog, she was in a big hoodie, sunglasses, walked out with her dog and her husband, so the paparazzi all thought it was her. They followed her for hours while Amy Schumer,

the real Amy Schumer, got to sneak out the back and get away with her day peacefully. Oh, decoy. Decoy. If I was a celebrity, I'd be lapping up the paps, wouldn't you? But you'd get over it, wouldn't you? Oh, no, I wouldn't. I'd be taking it, come out, take it, do anything. What do you want me to do?

You'd be taking a Sherman prior. You want me to do the witch's belt buckle? I'll take a deflam, I'll do anything. Oh, really, whatever you want. to do? Give me a showman prior. How do you want me to do the witch's belt buckle? I'll take a deflam. I'll do anything. Already, whatever you want. Just get it on camera. I remember hearing Matt Damon talk about how he got bombarded by paparazzi for a while and every day just go for a run.

And they'd be there and every day go for a run. And he did that for like a few weeks. He's like, guys, this is all I'm going to do. You can stay if you want, but I'm just going to get up and go for a run. And then they slowly lost interest and went and found other people. There's only so many times you can take a photo of. Take a go for a run. Maybe unless you're quite interested to see if he's going to beat his time from the previous day.

Oh, yeah. Shaved a minute off that one. And Ed Sheeran, he wants to buy out the owners of three houses that sit on the edge of a $7 million estate in Suffolk. So he can neaten up the area because apparently their gardens are infiltrating onto his. So he's like, well, I want to buy you out. His property is already the size of a country. Have you seen the size of it? It's huge, eh? And so he can see them like 29 miles away.

Oh, their bloody pittosporums are coming over the fence line there. I know, pretty much. Also, I've read that he owns 27 properties now. Like, that's insane. He's slowly going to just take up the whole of England. We call it Edland or something. He's quite sensible with his money, isn't he?

You said he doesn't take jets. He hardly takes private planes. I remember him saying that if I gave you $100,000 to wait two hours in the airport, you'd probably take the money, right? Rather than, you know, that's the same thing for him.

He's like, why spend $100,000 on a private jet? When you can fly, jet star Rather than, you know, that's the same thing for him. He's like, why spend $100,000 on a private jet? When you can fly, Jetstar. Yeah, why do that? True, that's smart. So you put it like that, you're like,

yeah, I guess it does make sense. Go Ed Sheeran. And that's how you end up purchasing three quarters of England. Yeah, exactly. Well done, Ed Sheeran. Exactly. For more SPAR,

you can head to the hits.co.nz. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. That is our show for a Friday. We want to end on a positive note. A feeling good. Yeah, I like doing this, ending on positive quips, idioms and cliches,

like every day above ground's a good day, and it makes up for all the horrible things we've said over the last three hours. Yeah, it makes us feel good, especially heading into the weekend, so let's take one quick call. Jessie, why is it going to be a good day for you, mate? Because I'm going to physio this morning and they'll be able to tell me if I can go back to work. Oh, she's

going to physiotherapy? And they're going to massage your what? My back. Oh, your back. I've got a bald desk and a pinched nerve. Oh, well listen, I hope your back's okay. Because back pain... Yeah, I'm alright. Yeah, good. And hopefully you can get back to work and it's going to be a great weekend, Jessie,

and you go out and you go and give life a good old smack on the bottom. Sure thing. We're going to give you a double pass to Reading Cinemas. Thank you so much for listening. We appreciate it. Oh, thank you. Good luck today and we'll catch you Monday morning from 6 o'clock. It's going to be a big show then.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.