Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - July 14 - SOL3 MIO, The Referendumb, The A To Z Of New Zealand

Episode Date: July 13, 2020

This morning we caught up with the boys from SOL3 MIO. Ben's mum loves them so we decided to call her and put her "on hold" (when in fact it was just SOL3 MIO performing) to see if she would notice! Ben also explained how his wife absolutely put him to shame (once again apparently). Finally, we caught up with Tammy Wells (AKA the Briscoes lady) and discussed the way we should fold towels, because of course nobody other than the Briscoes lady would know the correct way! Enjoy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Oh, welcome back to another one of the podcast intros. Ben Boyce, lovely to see you. Yeah, a little bit surprised and startled that we started the podcast, but I'm here now. You're looking good. You've got a white denim jacket on, white hoodie. You're looking like... I've got a little white. It's very... I like it, but I'm also quite nervous every time I have like a hot drink or eat something. I'm like, this is going to go wrong at any moment.

You don't want to spill any sriracha sauce or anything like that on it, eh? It's like your first day wearing white sneakers. That's a nerve wracking day, you know? You're taking a risk? Yeah, I'm taking a risk. It sort of reminds me of Justin Timberlake, you know, when he broke out solo from Insync. Oh yeah, we're sort of talking 90s, early 2000s sort of thing, you know? Yeah.

I want it that way. No, that was Backstreet Boys, but that's a reference. What did he do? He brought sexy. You're bringing sexy back in there. Oh, thank you. I can't do white because I've got very pasty white skin. You can.

You've just got to go with it. Oh, no, I can't. Why don't you ride it out? It's fine. It looks like I'm naked if I wear white. White pants and a t-shirt. We've got an exciting podcaster for you today. Solomio.

They're Kiwi pop opera stars. They're very funny. They've got a great story about Jay-Z and Beyonce. Yeah, they stole something from Jay-Z and Beyonce. Yeah. And Ben Boyce, your mum, a huge Solo Mio fan. Yes, I think we surprised her with a call to see if she can work out who we've got on the phone. Yeah, that's on the show today.

Plus, we talked to the mastermind behind Beached As, the viral video, because we're on a mission to teach Barbara, show Barbara, our listener, some viral videos. She's never seen any of them. We talk to the creator and the mastermind, the mastermind behind Beached As. The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, my wife, Amanda, in many facets of life, puts me to shame. She's better than me in so many things. She's the handy one of the house. She's out there painting the fences, fixing anything wrong with the property. Yeah, she's doing all that sort of stuff. What are you doing? What's your role? Morale.

Morale. Morale, keep it up, keep painting, keep fixing. Fixing lunch and stuff like that, you know. Making sure everyone's got sunscreen on, those sort of things. Worrying. My main role is worrying. I'm the worrier. I'm the worrier.

I'm always worrying about it. Not practical. Not serving any real purpose. Worrying if the bills have been paid. I haven't paid them. Worrying if the fence is going to get painted. I'm not going to paint it. Just worrying.

These things need to be done. Not actually doing any of them. In a flat. That's what I do. But yesterday we were taking our dog bow for a walk and the dog had wandered off in the dog. It was one of those parks

you can unleash the dog, let them run off the lead and he's not well trained at the best of times so off he went. Is it a dog park? Yeah, dog park. Is there a lot of thrusting going on in a dog park? Sometimes. Yeah, I imagine there would be. It of thrusting going on in a dog park? Sometimes.

Yeah, I imagine there would be. It's just a free fall. More from the dogs than us. But yeah, sometimes. That's disappointing. Sometimes, yeah. But the dog had gone away around the corner and I was like, well, maybe I should call to get the dog back.

And then I thought maybe I should whistle. And I was with my wife Amanda and I attempted to whistle. We did it once and then she whistled really well because she can whistle great. Oh yeah, I mean she's got the mouth of a... Careful, careful,

how you word this. A South Island high country sheep farmer. Yeah. Doesn't she? And then I got to do it again and as I do with everything else in my life,

I recorded it and I recorded me whistling and then her whistling. Bye bye. Okay, okay, you do it. Bye. Listen, it is like a high country shoot.

It is. She whistles and dogs in Bangkok, they're pricking their ears out. They're like, oh, what's going on? I've heard her whistle before. She does the fingers in the mouth too. Yes, she does. Then we got home and I was like,

oh, for radio tomorrow, why don't we just record and see how loud you can actually whistle. Now, this was in our hallway, and it probably doesn't sound quite as loud as it does. It did on the night, last night. Have a listen. We're inside now.

Do it again, Sivinder. Do it again. Loudest whistle, go. Wow. Sorry. It was like a burglar alarm. I got some power behind that whistle. Wow.

Gee whiz. My ears were hurting. Yours is just like gently releasing air from your mouth. Like. Yeah. Just like blowing out a candle

on a birthday cake. That's what I'd liken yours to. But I was like man it's just another thing. Yeah. You got whistle shamed. I did. Now you're whistle blowing

on the whistle shaming. I am. I can't whistle either. I shouldn't throw stones. They asked us in the weekend when we were filming, like, any of you guys can do like a dog whistle?

Because we're filming this dog show for TVNZ too and we're like, no. Sometimes I just like, because I suck, I don't blow when I whistle, which is a controversial whistling technique.

I'm like, but that's me sucking in, not blowing. Okay. But then sometimes just to look cool, I put my fingers in the mouth and they're not doing anything.

They're decoy fingers, right? Decoy fingers. Oh, God, you're listening to the lamest radio show in New Zealand. We can't do anything. At least you know you're better than us. Remember to double pump the virgles. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

A referendum. That's something we like to do once a week on the show. Have a sort of dumb debate about something that seems to divide the nation. Yeah, we hands down settle the most serious issues affecting society today. And this is what we do once a week. And today we're talking towel folding techniques. This is something Gary McCormick wouldn't even dare go near. Don't try and start your beef with Gary McCormick on More FM. You really are. You're starting to come from McCormick wouldn't even dare go near. Don't try and start your beef with Gary McCormick on More FM.

You really are. You're starting to come from McCormick. Why? Yeah, firing shots at McCormick. He's had it too good for too long. It's a great show. It's a show that we hope to be like. Stop being too nice, mate. We're trying to start a radio show, B. You can't have one of the show going watch out McCormick and the other one going

oh no, Gary McCormick's nice. They do a good show. Send mixed messages, mate. Alright, we're at unity. We're coming from McCormick And the other one going Oh no Gary McCormick It's nice they do a good show It's a great show Send mixed messages mate Alright we're at unity We're coming for McCormick I'm going to go to this car park And pull up his windscreen wipers That's the sort of revenge I'm extracting on McCormick

But anyway let's not get focused on that We'll talk about this after the show I'll send you the spreadsheet Of my detailed Gary McCormick revenge plot. Revenge for what? He's done nothing to you. Anyway, sorry, sidetracking here. The referendum, towel folding.

Now, we got into a debate yesterday in between Gary McCormick plots. Yeah, we had a debate about whether we should be sabotaging Gary McCormick or not. We haven't settled that one, but we want to settle the towel one right now, right? Now, Ben is a towel folder. Yeah, I like folding towels. So he's folding like a square. Yeah. It's one of his hobbies, his folding towels, whereas I am a towel roller.

So I roll it up like a burrito of some description, like one of Ben's jazz cigarettes. I roll the towel up tight, and I feel you can pack more towel into the towel space if they're rolled up. I just feel like the folding, it looks better. It's easy to put them on top of each other. It's easy. I don't know. Producer Juliet, what do you do?

I'm a folder. You're a folder as well? Just for the fact that when you roll your towels, sometimes they become unrolled if you're not rolling them tight enough once you put them on the shelf. Oh, yeah. And listen, don't get me wrong,

once upon a time I was a folder. I was just then introduced to the art of rolling and I was like, oh, this is nice.

Okay? I don't know if I'm getting angry about this. Oh, 100 of the hits. Are you a folder or are you a roller?

And we're going to get an expert on this topic next as well. Someone I think you will know, Ben. Yeah, 100 of the hits is the phone number

4487 on the text. We might check out a movie ticket, a couple of passes to Reading Cinemas for our favourite text or call. Belinda, roller, folder, where are you with this towel debate? A roller. Yeah, why? Because you fit a lot more on the shelf,

and you can put two or three on top of each other and still have room in the cupboard. This was my argument to Ben, but he's like, I'm folding folding and I'm not changing for folding. Thank you, Belinda. Tyrone, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Morning. Good to have you on. Why does everyone sound so confused

when we come to them this morning? Do they know what they've done? They've called a radio station. What? Hey, hey. Hey, Tyrone, are you a roller or a folder? I'm 19 years in the military, I roll everything. Oh really? If you know what I mean.

You're talking about all your clothes and things. Everything. Yeah, that's what I knew what you mean. If I pack to go anywhere, everything is rolled. Nothing's folded. Ben's wife, she rolls the suitcase packing, doesn't she? Yeah, she's very good at that. Gets everything nice and tight. She sometimes puts little rubber bands around them sometimes. The t-shirts all together. Okay, Ben's wife, she rolls the suitcase packing, doesn't she? Yeah, she's very good at that. Gets everything nice and tight.

She sometimes puts little rubber bands around them sometimes. The T-shirts all together. Okay, that's psychotic. Thank you, Tyrone. You've got to look after yourself. Have a great Tuesday. You too. To finally settle this folding, rolling towel debate for the referendum this morning,

we're joined by a lady that you'll know. And a lady who probably doesn't know why she's on the air like the rest of the callers this morning. The Briscoes lady. Tammy. I saw you two walking down the road the other day because I was in Auckland. Where were we walking?

You were very near the TVNZ building. Oh, yeah. We're trying to hang around there to get back on TV. They won't let us in the building. Hopefully on the day that someone doesn't show up, they're like, oh, you guys come host this thing. But it hasn't worked out so far. Come in quickly, guys.

We need you. Yeah, Simon and Wendy haven't turned up to do the news. Come on. How are you, Tammy? I'm really good, thank you. I'm really good. I'm reading a very sad book at the moment, and I've been sobbing.

But at least I don't sound like that's what I've been doing. So that's really good. Yeah, my wife does that. She reads books. She gets very emotional and very connected to them. She'll be crying in the corner of the lounge. You're like, you alright? Oh, really? It's very exhausting. Yeah. Sometimes I do that with Auto Trader magazine.

It brings me to tears. Now, Tammy, we've called you up because we're having a bit of a debate to do with towels and we thought you were the best person to talk to. Oh, merci beaucoup. Here's the debate. I roll towels, Ben folds them.

I feel like you can pack more towel in if you roll it. Now, you're going to be the decider here, Tammy, the Briscoes lady. What is the official line from Briscoes and you? Well, I would say both Briscoes and me because that's where I will have learned all this stuff. I'm really sorry, but it is flat to be folded, not rolled. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah. That's the way they roll. You roll them and you make the edges really tidy. And then you stack them on top of each other so that when you open the cupboard, it's like being in a Briscoe store. It's amazing. I just imagine your house is a Briscoe store. No, you should see. I'm standing in my lounge and there's magazines everywhere because I'm trying to get rid of them.

No, I have a lot of Briscoe things, but I'm also a bit of a hoarder, so I have lots of stuff. You're like Ben's mum. She collects everything. Oh, yeah. Yeah, including cake crumbs. Cake crumbs. She loves keeping the crumbs from cake.

She keeps it. If you have sushi and you have those little plastic fish soy sauce, she keeps those and puts mouthwash in them now when she walks around just because she can't bear to throw anything out.

So I don't think you're that bad, are you, Tammy? No, I'm not that bad but my gosh, I can be bad but no, I don't do that with them. But they are very cute. They are cute. She's just like I'm going to find a use for those one day. She has. If you've ever wondered what to do with them, you can store two drops of mouthwash in them.

Or you could store water in them and then freeze them and then put them in your glasses. Oh, little ice. Oh, yeah. Little tiny bits of ice. That's a good idea. Oh, jeez. I see why you are the Briscoe's lady.

Better living everyone. Is that a thing? No, well, that's someone else's thing. Oh, Tammy, always love talking with you. Thank you so much for joining us today. And you look after yourself. And you have a glorious day, guys. See you, mate. See you, Tammy, always love talking with you. Thank you so much for joining us today. And you look after yourself. And you have a glorious day, guys.

See you, mate. See you, Tammy. There you go, Tammy. Bye. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. If you haven't seen Solomia perform, you need to question your life decisions.

They mix amazing voices with trademark humour. They deliver opera in a way you've never experienced before. They're very funny as well. They've just announced a special concert in Auckland at Spark Arena called the Spark Sessions. Solo Mio, just walk into the studio right now with us. Thanks for having us. Good morning.

Always good to see you guys. Last time, I think a couple of you guys were at our leaving, weirdly at our leaving function at the Edge radio station. I was there. You were there. I was there. Oh, you were all there? Yeah.

It was my chance too, but it was nice for us to feel like you guys had turned up for that. It was quite emotional. Oh, you did? Yeah, we did. I think you were hanging around for another interview and then the station probably didn't really want to give us a farewell. It was all a bit awkward, so now we're here.

And here's Solomil. Now, Penne, you just got back from overseas, and you've been in lockdown. Oh, man, you know, it's great, man. That's a good reason to lose weight, you know, just that food. Was the food no good, Penne? Oh, it was great, guys.

Can you see my eyes? They can't on radio. Just, it was great, guys. Can you see my eyes? We can't on radio. Can you order like Countdown online? You can. You can. You can order Uber Eats. Get food in. But I was just like, you know what?

I'm just going to stick to this food. That way I've got a good regime going. Did it seem like a long time? Two weeks? Yeah. At first I was like, you know what? It'll be fine. I was like, hey, man.

Living the life. Watching Netflix. Yeah. Nah, man. By day 11, i was like you know what it'll be fine i was like hey man living the life watching netflix yeah nah man by day 11 i was like yo you know you know those things you're like it's raining outside and you're sitting by the window and you're like and do they like let you out of the hotel you're allowed to go for a walk and do it. Well, you can't go beyond the walk, you know. Yard time, yeah. It's yard time. So you guys are back together now for the first time and you're going to be performing together in August in New Zealand. That's quite exciting.

Yeah. August 13th, we're performing at Spark Arena. Tickets go on sale on Friday, this Friday. And it's our first concert since the Christmas shows. Yes. Because it's the first time we've seen each other since Christmas. Yeah, we're actually, yeah, because I just got out yesterday. Just got out.

Just got out. It's a hard time. I just got out, man. I need my time, man. Just 10 kids, 14 hard days in the Novatel. It's like prison with less shankings, isn't it? Moses, you're saying this gig, you're claiming is a world first. It's a world first, yep.

We're doing the first concert that's being streamed worldwide. So we're taking the geolock off and everyone around the world can watch it. So it's an arena concert. We've got orchestras, we've got choirs. It's the first of its kind. So we're very lucky here in New Zealand to be able to do this. You guys have done some amazing operatic songs, but also covers of artists like Ed Sheeran and Coldplay

and even old school No Diggity as well. That's right. Have you ever heard from any of the original artists? Have they reached out and gone, oh, that was an awesome version? No. Oh, sorry for bringing that up. We've had some funny requests.

We had one old lady came up to us. She said, oh, I love that song you sing. What is that song? No Dignity? No Dignity. No Dignity. Thanks. That's our theme song so the artists don't go oh each year and doesn't get in touch with you and go oh geez you actually recorded a better version of my song yeah you know i wish i wish honestly that one of them reached out and was like hey man i heard

your version now you got the name uh solomia from a famous operatic song. Is that right? Yep. Is the first song you sung together? Is that the true story? Yeah, it was actually. This was done at the Whanganui Opera School. And Pene here was actually supposed to be performing solo, but he had a big night the night before.

Hey, hey, hey. And he decided to like... Hey, hey, hey. I was sleepy. Five in the morning I got a gig tomorrow I kid you not though everything that we did

on that stage we did we practiced 5 minutes before yeah because I pulled them in as they were walking into the concert and I was like

boys you got to sing on my behalf man like oh there is no voice there man trust me what are we going to do what are we going to do I was like

just grab a guitar and let's sing and it's recorded. It's on YouTube. So it came pretty naturally, you guys, together as a trio. Yeah. I mean, we had sung at Molly's hotel when they were doing... There was a boutique hotel there.

Yeah. And we used to sing there. I think Jay-Z and Beyonce stayed there. They did. It's a funny story. We stayed there on the last night of Molly's because they sold it, right? We were very close with the owners. And so she gave us a room, a bedroom that we could sleep in for the night

And and we kind of had full reign of the hotel And so we were like yo, this is cool. Everyone went to bed except us We went down to the bar and there was this bottle of cognac It was sitting right at the top and it was the bottle that Jay-Z and Beyonce had gifted Oh really? Did you know that? We popped it open No one knows this story but you guys are gonna get it had gifted to those oh really did you know that no one knows this story we popped it open and we took a swing straight out of the bottle passed the bottle along and then we put it back on the shelf

it was good and we jumped the fence to come back we went to some random bar that night. We left to go out to have a bit of a boogie. And we went to this place called The Pyramid. And it was a bit of a dive. So we came back home, back home, to Molly's Hotel. And the gates were locked. We went to jump in.

We're staying here. We were driving past, going like, look at those boys. Those two island boys jumping into Molly's Hotel. Not many people can say they preloaded on Jay-Z's Kanye. Kiwi pop opera stars, Sole Mio have announced a one-off concert. It's called the Spark Sessions.

13th of August at Spark Arena. Tickets on sale from Friday. It's going to be live streamed as well. Sole Mio, such amazing voices and Christmas albums that my mum, Jenny, she thrashes every year. Now, Moses, I'd say you got a free puppy a few years ago that turned out to be not exactly what you thought. That's right. So I picked him up in a place called Murchison

and I was driving through this little box on the side of the road saying free puppies. So I picked up this little dog and he was six weeks old, size of my palm, and he just kept growing. Four years later, it was his birthday last week, we threw a big party. Four years later, he turns out to be a Labradain which is a Labrador Great Dane

oh jeez so he's 50kg he's got a horse I got a miniature horse he is a bit he's a big dog he's more chipped in the house than I am

so it's lovely to have him around we're joined by Soleil Mio in the studio announcing the Spark Sessions going to be broadcasting live on Facebook 13th of August.

And if you're in Auckland or nearby, you can come along to the show as well. It's going to be mad. Tickets on sale on Friday, as Moses said before. Before you go, we just want to try something. My mum is a massive fan. I'm aware we're massive fans, but my mum's a huge fan. Every Christmas, the albums, they're cranking, the CDs.

So I thought we might try and ring my mum right now. And if I could have a conversation, I might try and put her on hold, pretend I put her on hold and see if you guys can sing along as the whole music and see if she works out that it's actually you

and not whole music. It has to be a song that she knows then. It has to be like a really... What are we singing, like Three Little Birds? No, because she doesn't associate that song with... It needs to be a song that...

We can put her name in it. Oh, okay. Jenny's my mum's name. You're going to put Jenny into it. I think you might have signed Jenny's chest at one of your concerts. Trust me, to be honest. Okay, should we give it a go?

I don't know if this is going to work. We'll give it a go. I'll try and get it on hold a couple of times. What's the name? Yeah, play through, little British. If she recognised the harmonies

or the sound, you never know. Hey. Oh, hey, you never know. Hey. Oh, hey, Mum. Yeah. Hey, how's it going? Sorry, I'm just ringing from work. My cell phone's died.

Okay. That's all right. I was just going to ask you before. No, I'm all good. You still think you're coming up later in the week? Oh, hang on. Sorry. How's your mum?

Yeah, that's all right. I'd love to come. Sorry, my boss has just come in for a second. Can I just put you on hold? Sorry, Mum boss has just come in for a second. Can I just put you on hold? Sorry, Mum. Oh. Rise up this morning Smile at the rising sun

Three little birds Pitch by my doorstep Good morning, Teddy. Singing sweet songs A melody's pure and true Sorry, sorry, Jenny. Singing sweet songs. Melodies pure and true. Sorry, sorry, Mum. So you think you're coming up later this week?

Yeah, if that suits. Yeah, it should be. Oh, sorry, Hound. Sorry, I've forgotten about another meeting. Hound, I'll just put you on hold for one second. Sorry, Mum. Say, this is my message for you, Jenny. Say you don't worry about a thing.

Don't worry, Jenny. Because every little thing is going to be all right. It's going to be all right. Say you don't worry. She's singing along. Mum, do you realise who we've got on the phone right now? Do you realise it's Solomio? I know, I know. It's going to be all right, Jenny.

Good morning. Oh, my God. They're going good. They've got a concert coming up in Auckland in August. Oh, really? Yeah. You want to come along, Jenny? I just would love to.

Oh, my goodness. Mum's been, like, sucking on a salve watching you guys up there in Kirikiri. And then concert. Yeah, she loves going along to that gig. Oh, you know, look, I'll go anywhere. Easy, Mum. Easy, Mum. I'll do anything for Sala Mio tickets.

How low will she go? Okay, got to wrap it up, actually. No, I'm not putting on hold. I'm going to hang up, Mum. Okay. I think your mum's hitting on Sala Mio tickets. How low will she go? Okay, I've got to wrap it up, actually. No, I'm not putting it on hold. I've got to hang up, Mum. Okay. I think your mum's hitting on Sole Mio. I'll hang up. Okay.

Love you, Mum. All right. Love you. Bye. You guys are such great sports. You tried to end that quite abruptly. Can I call you Dads? Love your work, boys.

Sole Mio, always fun to hang out. Go see them. If you haven't seen these guys in concert, they are amazing. Not only amazing voices give you chills, but also very entertaining as well. So go see them in Auckland in August. They're so much fun. Thanks, guys. Eggs for breakfast.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're on a quest to find the world's best viral videos on the internet. We want to play them to Barb, who listens to the show and has never seen a viral video. And right now we want to talk to someone who could be one of the finalists. He's a Kiwi guy by the name of Don Eddles. He's also known as the ES guy.

More on that in a moment. Don, thank you so much for joining us this morning. How's it going? Oh, you're good, thanks, guys. Oh, bloody good to hear from your wonderful voice again. And it is a wonderful voice, Don. Thanks, man. You're too kind. How's things going? Oh, you're good, thanks, guys. Oh, bloody good to hear from your wonderful voice again. And it is a wonderful voice, Don. Thanks, man. You're too kind.

How's things been for you? Oh, hectic and busy since the lockdown. There's just no sign of slowing down here. Now, you're a digger driver. Yep. Yeah, we cut all house sites and everything, foundation. Well, Don, you were very famous on the internet a few years ago. Millions of views.

Do people still recognise you? From time to time, yep. Randomly. Put a smile on my face, that's for sure. Now, Don, in your defence, it was baiting you, wasn't it? It was leading you down the path. I mean, it was your wife, was it? Yes, it was my lovely wife that decided to prank me one weekend

when I thought I'd do something nice for her and she came out the laundry. Yeah, and she knew what she was doing. Yeah, she knew exactly what she was doing. Have a listen to this.

What is E-Y-E-S? E-Y-E-S. E-S. How do you spell yes? Y-E-S. Oh. How do you spell? Don's like, don't play it again.

Yeah. So obviously she pranked you, and then did she tell you she was going to put it online? No. I'm not partial to the old social media, so I've got nothing to do with it. Jesus, remember when it came out one evening and there was a three-year-old jumping around the aisle saying,

yes, yes, yes. I was like, what the hell saying, E-S, E-S, E-S. I'm like, what the hell's going on? Oh, like pointing at you? Yeah. So you didn't even know you were on the internet and the way you found out? I didn't even know we stupidly called it viral. So what's going on?

I'm looking my wife sideways going, what is going on? Oh, it was viewed all around the world. Millions of people have seen it. So you are viral. You're internet famous. Oh, gee, that's hard to... It still doesn't seem to overreact. Well, Don, because we have a dear listener,

friend of the show, Barbara, who's never seen a viral video. And so yours is one of the videos that we're going to play her. Okay. Oh, I don't know where I feel... I don't know how that makes me feel. I don't know whether I should good. I don't know how that makes me feel. I don't know whether I should take it as a compliment or...

I hope she takes it in good humour. Oh, I'm sure she will. Like you have. I really appreciate how good-humoured you are about the whole thing, Don. Oh, yeah, it's all good. It's good for laughs. Well, that's the thing, because I was reading in an article that way your wife was talking to someone

and she wanted to make it clear that you're not dyslexic, you're well-educated, you have a good job, you just fall for pranks. Oh, I think I'm selective. I can be dumb when I want to be. Oh, yeah, I can just be dumb the whole time. That's without trying. Now, Don, we want to test you, OK?

Cool. We have a list of some of the hardest words to spell in the English language, and we're going to hit you with them right now. Awesome. This is Don's spelling redemption. Don, your first word. Sacrilegious. Oh, sacrilegious. Sacrilegious. Sacrilegious. Oh. What's sacrilegious?

Sacrilegious. Sacrilegious. S-A-C-R-I-L-E-legious. G-I-O-U-S. Bang. One for one. Wow. Well done.

Jeez. Minuscule. Oh, jeez. These are hard. Minuscule. Minuscule. Minuscule. M- jeez, these are hard. Minuscule. Minuscule. Minuscule. M-I-N-U-S-C-U-L-E.

He's on fire! Oh, let's go one more. E-Y-E-S. E-S. E-S. He's got it right. Onomatopoeia. Oh, that's tough.

This is tough. Onomatopoeia. Onomatopoa. Oh, that's tough. This is tough. Onomatopoa. Onomatopoa. O-N-O-M-A-T-O-P-O-E-I-A. Oh, Don, internet redemption. Well done, my friend. Change, change a lot. Oh, you've done that too much.

Change a lot. I tell you what, we'll get this on the internet. We'll be like, remember that guy? Well, check this out. Check this out. The greatest speller in the world. Don, thank you guy? Well, check this out. Check this out. The greatest speller in the world. Hey, Don, thank you so much

for your time this morning. You're a wonderful, a great Kiwi, a great New Zealander and we wish you all the best. Hey, thank you guys. Keep up the good work, eh? You guys are awesome.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Good news just dropped. Breaking news. Todd Muller has quit as the National Party leader only a couple of months after taking on the role, right?

Yeah, 53 days as leader, Todd Muller. So just a couple of minutes ago decided to step down effectively as National Leader. He said it's become clear to me I'm not the best person to be leader of the opposition in the National Party. And the role as leader has taken a heavy toll on him.

He's spent the weekend just reflecting, I suppose, from his point of view. He's probably on a hiding to nothing. I'm really sad to hear him say that about a heavy toll because no matter which party you vote for, you know, it must be really stressful

to be a leader of the party. You've got to have sympathy for them. You know, they can get hounded by the media, they get hounded for everything they do. There's probably been a barrage of calls, there was family and all sorts, you know, so I can imagine it's pretty tough. Yeah, I'd be shocking at it. Imagine me. I can't even organise

the ability of how to leave here today. You can't even reply to our WhatsApp group. Let alone managing a whole political party. Two days late every time. I'm sorry. I am sorry. I don't know. The WhatsApp group

moves at a rapid pace. Much like politics probably does. I'd be like, hey guys, you said something about two weeks ago. I've just caught up

on those emails. Yeah, so that's the big news here. No word yet, obviously, about who will be taking over as the National Party leader.

I reckon Nicky Kay. Jono. Yeah, Jono. Nikki Kaye's not a bad thought. I reckon Nikki Kaye's his right-hand woman at the moment. And she was Central Auckland Nikki Kaye and would regularly beat Jacinda in Central Auckland elections. That's right.

Before Jacinda was obviously leader of the Labour Party. So, yeah. So maybe she is a good one to chuck forward. But who am I? Why am I even saying words right now why are we having political chat look at me i i'm dressed like i'm from a clothing bin offering political advice uh but hey well todd listen i'm sorry it didn't work out for you mate i'm sure this i'm sure he'll be listening no no yeah in all seriousness yeah you never you'll never want

anyone to step down from a job that obviously they aspired to and obviously they wanted uh i don't think he was prepared. I felt like he wasn't prepared. They were like, yeah, let's roll him. Obviously, internally, the party backed him. Yeah, they obviously thought he had the credentials to do it, right, because he was the guy they backed to take over from Simon Bridges. But maybe he was like,

well, this onslaught of media and all that. It'd be a heavy toll, as he said. So really sad to hear that he's bowing out. Bridges will be bathing in a spa pool of smugness now, won't he? Oh, Simon Bridges will be sitting there. He'll be doing that one when you get both hands and put them behind your head and then chuck your feet up on the desk as a power play.

Oh, yeah, OK, I see. 53 days. But our favourite moment with Todd Muller was when he went to his old rugby club and actually launched his campaign officially. And the speech, it wasn't even from him. It was from someone, a member of the rugby club. The other little fella said,

hey, is the Prime Minister coming? And the fella said, yeah, it's that mullah fella. He's coming. The mullah fella should have been his campaign slogan. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, a couple of sad spy stories.

So, John Travolta's wife, Kelly Preston, she has passed away after a fight against breast cancer. They had been married 29 years, and it was a two-year battle with breast cancer. So, John Travolta, yeah, so sad. And so, John is taking some time off, obviously, to be with his kids during this time. And also, a body has been found in Lake Peru

in the search of missing Glee star Naya Rivera. So last week she was missing after her four-year-old son was found on a boat and she was nowhere to be found. This is in California. And they finally found a body and there'll be more info later today. Spy, know what's up, spy.co.nz.

All right, she's a newshound shoving her nose straight in the crotch of celebrity gossip. Here's producer Juliet with Spy. Now there's a segue. Let's get into the entertainment news. Okay, okay, so Demi Moore, she posted a photo

onto Instagram of her in her bathroom on her laptop and she, when you first look at it, you think she's in a lounge. She's sitting on a couch. There's carpet on the floor. It looks decked out like a lounge. And then you look in the background, and there's a toilet seat and a sink and a spa bath. So everyone's like, wow, your bathroom is kind of merged like a lounge.

And it's a really bizarre way to have a bathroom, don't you think? Is her lounge in her bathroom or her bathroom in her lounge? Exactly. That's a good question. It looks like she's in a sort of one-bedroom flat that doesn't have any rural bedrooms. It's all in the one thing, right?

Yes, that's exactly how you'd actually put it. That's a really good description of it. You know when you go to someone's house and go, can I just borrow the bathroom? Yep, no, second on your left. There's no instructions that need to be given. Just there. Just grab a seat, it's fine.

Okay. I wonder if that's the future of bathrooms if they'll start turning into more of a you know a lush sort of area to be in I remember there was a bar in town

and you'd walk in through like the gentleman's door to the ablution block and then you'd walk in and you'd be like oh oh okay

there's you know there's girls in here as well and then they would do the same. They would walk through the female door. It was like a communal sort of hand-washing area and stuff, right? So they'd have two separate doors, but then you'd walk into one big giant bathroom.

Bizarre. I tell you what, stage fright max. Totally. Have you ever tried peeing at a urinal next to a girl also standing up peeing at a urinal? That's what was happening in there. I have not. And Johnny Depp has revealed that he

is broke after losing $650 million in his movie fortune and racking up $100 million in debt. So this has all come out because he's in a current court battle with his ex-wife. Very toxic relationship, obviously. Very toxic. And so he's revealed that he's gone broke

because his former business managers hadn't paid the government tax. So he's like, well, I don't know. I don't know what you're doing in that situation.

He must spend an astronomical amount of money on scarves. Oh, he would. His scarf collection is just endless, isn't it? And sunglasses. He always seems to be

wearing sunglasses. Scarves and sunglasses and free-flowing, frilly clothing as well. I mean, you take that out, you might save a bit of money. Yeah. No one likes paying tax. I do.

I didn't pay tax for many years and they come knocking. Yeah, you're right. No one does like paying tax. No. And more spy. You can head to the hits.co.nz. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Demi Moore, Bruce Willis' former wife and actor Demi Moore, posted a picture of her online. Sitting in what you thought was a lounge, but then you survey the rest of the photo and you're like, she's either got a lounge in her bathroom or a bathroom in her lounge. There's a toilet there. Yeah, it was just kind of next to the couch, right? Just behind the couch, they're tucked away,

but still in the same room, no doors, was this toilet. Convenience factor. Incredible. You can just roll off the couch onto the toilet. I mean, those valuable 10 to 15 steps that most of us have to take to the toilet, Demi Moore doesn't even have to worry about that. Very unusual bathroom set up, doesn't it? Yeah, I was talking to her before, right, about that unisex one that I went to in a

nightclub, which is surprising. And there's no, like, I don't think females should go into a male's bathroom. It is the wild west in there, isn't it? It's one of the grimmest places. It's hell on earth, isn't it? I wouldn't wish that upon any female. So I don't think they should have to experience that. Whereas I imagine yours, Juliette, is a wonderful oasis.

Yes. Pot puri. Have you got pot puri? What even? Oh, what? What is that? Potpourri. No.

Is potpourri a thing? I'm guessing not as much anymore. I've never heard that before, but my bathroom's still pretty nice regardless. It's more, you know, candles these days. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. You've got a coir candles or something?

Yes, I do. I've got one in there. Makes it smell nice. Haven't lit it in a while, but it still makes the aroma of the bathroom quite nice. I reckon there's probably quite a smoky mist in there as well, just looking like heaven. Not our bathrooms, eh, Ben?

No, no. The work bathroom's a very grim place. My grandparents, speaking of unusual bathrooms, they used to have a full bookcase with books in their bathroom, just right in front of the toilet there. Now, was this separated from the actual bathroom? Was the toilet in the bathroom?

So they had the bathroom and then there was a sliding door to the toilet. To the library slash toilet. Yeah, and all there was in there was a toilet and a four-shelf bookcase full of books. Which is, I was like, oh, okay. I suppose over a number of years

you'd mow your way through the bookshelf. Yeah, but there weren't books you ever wanted to take out of there. It wasn't like, oh, I'll take that out to the lounge and read them, because you're like, oh, no, I'll just go. How much matter is on these books? I'll come back to these tomorrow, I guess, if we go to have a look.

C.S. Lewis. Another disturbing thing we were just talking about is carpeted toilets. Remember, that was a fad for many years that you had full. It was like the carpet layer had excess carpet and thought, oh, I'll try this. So, yeah, quite absorbent, I imagine. Yes. Imagine all the stuff that's been soaked up in that.

Yeah, that's disgusting. There'll still be the odd carpeted bathroom out there, carpeted toilet, wouldn't there? Remember that thing? We went to Taranaki and we stayed in the spa motel. Oh, yeah. And there was a spa pool next to your bed. Yeah, in every room.

Wow. Yeah. So, I mean, for the times you've ever wanted to roll out of bed and maybe drown in the middle of the night into a spa. Yeah, far out. That was confusing, wasn't it? It was like we got the honeymoon suite or something. Yeah. And we had a wonderful evening.

He never called me the morning after. We took full advantage of it, though, didn't we? We did. And that was on carpet, too. It was. It was a spa was on carpet too. It was. It was a spa pool on carpet. Very old school. Yeah, so there you go.

I suppose when you call yourself the spa motel, you've got to deliver, don't you? Even if it is a giant, inconvenient spa pool in the middle of your bedroom. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

We're trying to collate the list of the best viral videos of all time to play to Barb, who's a listener to the radio show, who's never seen any viral videos. And one of the ones on the list is the Beached As cartoon that came out a few years ago that seemed to be mocking New Zealand, but with a seagull and a whale.

Oh, no. I'm beached, bro. I'm beached as. Hey, bro. Oh, hey, bro. What are you doing, bro? Dude, I'm beached as. Hey, bro. Oh, hey, bro. What are you doing, bro? Dude, I'm beached, Dez. Oh, shit.

And we're joined by the creator, the mastermind behind that video from Australia, Nick Beauchamp. Yeah, welcome. Doing good. How are you? Nice to talk to you. We really appreciate it. It's a real delight. I really appreciate you having me.

Hey, Nick, so correct me if I'm wrong, but it feels like from our side of the fence, our side of the Tasman, you might have been mocking our accent. The New Zealand accent. No. No. No? No.

No, absolutely not. Okay, I'll take your word for it. I'll take your word for it. It was a homage. Paying tribute to one of the most wonderful accents in the world, right? Totally. I'll have you know that a lesser-known website in America voted New Zealand's accent as the top 20 sexiest accents.

Sucksiest accents. Sucksiest, yeah. See, I wouldn't take it as sexy, personally. It's not... But I'd take it as being quite kind accent and also just funny. You guys could just talk about the ingredients on the back of a label

and I'd find it pretty damn funny. We were just talking about this before. Do you think everyone all around the world thinks their accent is boring? Like people in Paris are going, ah, bonjour, this is boring. That was kind of Italian and French at the same time. But do you think, like you as an Australian,

do you think you've got the world's most boring accent? Because we do. When you're in your own country, like, you as an Australian, do you think you've got the world's most boring accent? Because we do. When you're in your own country, yeah, you've got no relative scale, so therefore it's not that interesting. But when you go abroad as an Australian, certainly to America, certainly 10 years ago, you'd be like, oh, hi, how are you? And they'd

be like, oh my God, where are you from? And it'd be so interesting. But now, it's just, yeah, it's pretty damn boring. Yeah, Crocodile Dundee did a lot of heavy lifting for you guys in America. He did, didn't he, Josh? Didn't it do some good work? I'm over the moon about that, really.

But it's now, it's gone. Those days are gone. Well, tell us about Beach Stairs because we understand you and a couple of mates made it for just $16 back in the day. Yeah, $16 may have even been a slight stretch, really. We, yeah, we just came up with a concept back in the day. Yeah, $16 may have even been a slight stretch, really. Yeah, we just came up with the concept and I'd never made anything before,

never been creative or whatever before and we kind of slapped the cartoon together. I'm like, geez, it's quite a surreal, cool thing. And we were really proud and then we released it and there we go. Yeah, it's so weird. Talk off over here. I mean, it doesn't take much for New Zealanders to get fired up over something,

but when Australia, when Big Brother comes knocking. Yeah, you're like, what's come from the big smoke? Millions and millions of views. It's gone all over the world. And you created a couple of short-form TV series out of it as well in Australia. We did. Yeah, we did two 10 part short form series with the ABC here in Oz and it went down a treat.

Like it was just so lucky that it happened. It was just a tiny little moment that my friend was like, I wonder what would happen if, what would a whale think when a whale gets beached? And I just went up from nowhere. I was like, oh, they'd probably think, oh, beach days. And then that's it. That's where the cartoon came from.

And it's created, yeah, many series and a few little, yeah, a few things. Well, do you know what? It's hit our top five viral internet videos of all time because we came across a listener, Barb, Barbara, who's never seen any viral videos. So we've taken it upon ourselves to collate the big bangers from the internet and Beached As has made the top five. So congratulations. Oh, what an honour. I genuinely am very grateful for that. That's such good news. Now, as a person who's made a living, an extraordinary living of making content on the internet,

can you believe that there is a person out there who hasn't been on the internet? So, is Barb... Let's just clear this one up. So, Barb has completely never been on the internet ever before. Well, she's done some emails and she's seen some Facebook, but she's not really into it, so she sort of would rather not see it, if that

makes sense. I want to hang out with Barb. Yeah, no, she sounds better than most of us. I love that idea. Hey, Nicholas, lovely talking to you, lovely meeting you and waiting with bated breath to see what Barb thinks of your video. Yeah, same. Let me know. Yeah, we'll pass it on, buddy. Hey, thank you so much for your time and

you go have a wonderful day. Yeah, likewise. Thanks so much for having me. Morning! It's Jono and Ben on the Hats. Kia ora. I'm Ash Thomas, and this is the B***ing News. This is where producer Juliet gets the respected journalist Ash Thomas to read headlines, and then you beep out a word, and we have to guess what the word is from the news story.

Yeah, quirky headlines generally, isn't it? You search the odd stuff sections of the internet, and I mean, that's the backbone Yeah, quirky headlines generally, isn't it? You search the odd stuff sections of the internet, and I mean, that's the backbone of any commercial radio show, isn't it? The odd, the quirky news. Exactly, exactly. I have a tab full of weird news sites to go to. Before we get into the weird news, though,

can we play an actual thing that was beeped out for good reason? This came from Crosschurch Schoolboys Cometry. This was on Sky Sport over the weekend. So St Andrews College was playing Crosschurch School Boys commentary. This was on Sky Sport over the weekend. So St Andrews College was playing Crosschurch Boys High School on Saturday night before the Crusaders Blues game. And this is what the commentator said. We've had to beat this one out because there was a swear word.

Wow. He f***ed that up. Completely kicked it dead. I'm sure James White's got a few other words for that one to be fair, but he'll be really disappointed in that. So he actually said he... It's like he's sitting at home on the couch talking to his mate. And no one referenced it, did they?

No. They just carried on. You'd be like, hey, FYI, you remember what job we're doing right now? And he even goes, I'm sure he's got a few other choice words. It's like, yeah, well, yeah, and you use one of them. So you've covered the base? We had to be about, but these ones we didn't have to be about. No.

Anyway, weird stories. Should we kick off the first one? Boy sent the Queen a... in case she was lonely during lockdown. Ooh, Boy sent the Queen a... step-by-step how-to guide to get rid of Prince Andrew in case she was lonely during lockdown. I'm going to go with male escort.

Boy sent the Queen a happiness word search in case she was lonely during lockdown. Isn't that sweet? And she wrote back to him as well. Oh, did she? She did. She sent him a letter saying thanks for thinking of me and for sending me this personalised handwritten little word search. Super cute.

That's very nice, isn't it? It's my life goal to get a letter from the Queen. I know, you're obsessed with the royals, aren't you? I love them.

I love them. So that's why I chose that story. Which one of the royals would you like to meet the most? Kate Middleton, for sure.

She seems like the most boring. I know. I want to meet the boring one. You shook Meghan Markle's hands, alright?

Yeah, shook her hand, saw Prince Harry, didn't actually like shake his hand or anything but I would also like to meet Prince Harry because he seems a bit all right. Yeah, shook her hand. Saw Prince Harry. Didn't actually shake his hand or anything, but I would also like to meet Prince Harry because he seems a bit of fun. Well, was fun, but then, you know, the wife happened. Could you feel the vindictiveness through her hand

when you touched her? I felt, I actually almost felt like she knew she was above me and I was like, oh, you little sneaky. She running on a nice hand, clammy hand, soft hand. What's her name? Very soft. Soft hand. Very's her name? Very soft. Soft hand. Very petite hand too.

Very small. Yeah. Good to know. Anyway, enough about the royals. Here's the next one. Kids have a new hand gesture for *** and it's making some feel very old. Kids have a brand new hand gesture for something

and it's making some feel very old. Up yours? That's all I can go for. Julian, sometimes it's too early in the morning to come up with answers, please. I've said it before. Hey, sometimes you can't find funny words to insert with the beeps.

All right, here we go. Kids have a new hand gesture for talking on the phone and it's making some feel very old. So you know how the traditional way of gesturing talking on the phone is almost like you shakka with your pinky and your thumb out? Yeah, like the hang loose thing your thumb out. This video has gone viral on TikTok of a man asking

his daughter to indicate how she talks on the phone and she just puts a flat palm up against her ear and her cheek because that's what phones are like nowadays. It's a flat phone. It's not so much the hook piece now. There's no receiver and listening, but yeah, that makes sense.

I wonder if you tested it out on your kids, what they would do. Because the old sort of call me, you know, when you say to a friend, I'll give me a call later, you do that, you know, but now you're like, call me. Were you alive when you had to like put your finger in the thing and then turn it around? I never used one of those personally, but we had a really old one that we ditched by the time that I sort of realised what it was. But I know what they are, yes.

Yeah, in the 1920s, I had to Morse code when I was growing up. You're like, call me, and you just sort of wave your hand up and down like tapping. That's how you used to do it, right? That's right. All right, last one. Athlete Noah Lyles beats Usain Bolt's 200 metre record, but turns out... He forgot to time himself. No.

He cheated. No. I'm going to say he cheated. Not quite. He's half way but half way. Athlete Noah Lyles beats Usain Bolt's 200 metre record, but turns out he only ran 185 metres. Oh, he didn't even get the full 200.

I know, and it wasn't even his own fault. He finished the race thinking that he had bet it, but the officials, turns out, put him at the wrong starting block. So he had finished. He was like, yes, I bet Usain Bolt's record. And then it was stripped away from him. Turns out the official was Usain Bolt.

Back a bit further, mate. Back a bit further. Hey, thank you, Julia. That was the news and beeps. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. I was talking to a guy from sales yesterday here,

and he said, oh, I've just got off. I've just been messaging my cousin in Sydney who's about to go to prison. All right. And I was like, oh, you know, what for? He's like, he's a high-end car thief. So the reason he's going, he's been in and out multiple times, but the reason he's going this time is,

so his deal was he would go into like Ferrari in Sydney. Right. And he'd wear like a fancy Armani suit or something. So he looked the part and- So he'd go to the car dealership sort of looking flash. Go to the car dealership and he would rent an escort as well, just for the hour. But not do traditionally what you'd do with an escort, just go, hey, can you play my

partner? Oh, so this is like an acting role? Yeah, like an acting role. She's like, okay, well this is unusual, but yeah, sure, don't have to do any heavy lifting here, I'll go walk into Ferrari with you. And so they would walk in as a glamorous looking couple. And then he would go to the sales person. He went to the sales guy. Oh, listen, can I, you know, just sit in the car, get a feel for it? And he's like, yeah, sure.

Because I guess that's not out of the question. Oh, yeah. If you're buying a Ferrari. Yeah. Well, yeah, true. You'd probably be allowed to have a test drive if you had the money and put down something or, you know, security. And he's like, oh, can I just, you know, see what it feels like,

the engine, and just turn it over? You know where this is going. Yeah, I feel like I do. And the sales rep's like, yeah, sure, yeah, try it. Feel the rumble. He's like, oh, yeah, good rumble, good rumble. He's like, can I hear like a rattle in the exhaust? And the sales rep's guy's like, I don't know, I don't think so.

He's like, just go check back at the exhaust pipe if there's a rattle. So the sales guy goes back. He's like, just duck down, see if there's a rattle. He's going, ring, ring, ring. And he just puts it in first gear and drives straight out of the showroom. Gone. Gone in 60 seconds, like the Nicolas Cage movie. Wow.

But then apparently where he came unstuck was he knew there were GPS tracking systems on those Ferraris. So he had some device that could override it. But then what he hadn't factored in is that when those systems run out of battery, they start pinging off a signal. So within three days, his place was raided by the cops and they're like, you've got a Ferrari in your garage. Well, also cameras,

I imagine, in the dealership as well. You know, would have seen his faces. Yeah. Crazy, eh? So that's what he's going to prison for this time. But what would you do with a Ferrari? Like, what are you going to do with a $300,000 car? I guess you'd try and sell it, wouldn't you? Yeah, I mean, you're not taking it

down to Packingsins, are you? Doing your Saturday morning shopping or going to Bunnings or picking up a petrol line trimmer from Bunnings. I would be so anxious driving a Ferrari. Imagine like parallel parking a Ferrari. I curb my tyre all the time, you know, trying to park in a close thing,

a Ferrari. The stress of a Ferrari in front of it. I know you get nervous in front of a cafe parallel parking. Imagine a Ferrari trying to're like the stress of a Ferrari in front of you. I know you get nervous in front of a cafe parallel parking. Imagine a Ferrari trying to parallel park. Nothing more stressful than that. And then if you'd purchased a stolen one

as well, Ben, you would not be sleeping. No. You could not handle yourself. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben

on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. Best wedding from Whakatane to Whakamaru everywhere in Aotearoa, aren't we?

Yeah, this is where we call a different town or place in New Zealand. We do one a day and we're trying to getakamaru, everywhere in Aotearoa, aren't we? Yeah, this is where we call a different town or place in New Zealand. We do one a day, and we're trying to get through every town or place in about two and a half years. Have you regretted doing this, Ben, or are you enjoying it? I actually have been enjoying it.

Yeah. Because you learn something about a different town or city in New Zealand every day. Yeah. Don't ask me to remember everything I've learned over the past sort of eight weeks, but I do from time to time go, oh, now I know where that is, and I know a little bit about this place.

Yeah, a lady was bummed into a lady on the street, and she was like, I'm from this place that you called it. I can't remember it, so this is a great example. And I was like, I know where it is. It's up north. And she's like, yeah. And so that was fun. Today it is Clevedon, not far out of Auckland.

No, it's a rural town in Auckland, so lactose intolerant soy latte-sucking Aucklanders can take their Range Rovers and get a little bit of mud on the tyres. It's always nice. You're playing to the hardened South Island audience there, aren't I? With that little Auckland dig there.

The South Island will appreciate that, Ben. Famous for its farmer's markets on the weekend and also famous for its illegal human organ selling markets on Wednesdays. Yes, this is where you make things confusing because you say something that's true and then you say something that's not true and then people don't believe any of the things we say. Or do they believe it all?

Well, that's the thing. You make it very confusing. Auckland Mayor Phil Goff hails from Cleveland. See, I don't know if that's true or not now. See, because you just made up a fact before. And sells his kidneys on a Thursday. Yes. And the Mia Organ Salon.

It's got someone from Cleveland who may actually know something about that place. Good morning, Acorns. Just speaking with Carol. Oh, we got Carol, Ben. Oh, we got Carol. We got Carol. They said we'd never get Carol, and we got her. It's Jono and Ben from The Hits here, Carol.

How are you? We're doing the A to Z of New Zealand. We're phoning every town and city in Aotearoa. Well done, Cleveland. You're number 59. Welcome. Thank you. You seemed a little surprised, and I understand why,

because you weren't expecting this phone call. But what can you tell us and our radio listeners about Cleveland? About Cleveland? Um, about Clevedon? Yeah, Clevedon. Oh, it's the most beautiful little country town

in New Zealand. Oh, well, there's a few other beautiful little country towns on the phone right now saying, ah,

ah, ah. Oh, God. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Carol, the Hitch radio station,

why is Cleveland so amazing? Carol's being thrown under the bus here. Carol's like, I didn't expect this either. We've got the most beautiful florist here in the world. Oh, in the world? In the world. Yeah, exactly.

Congratulations. And that's not overshooting the mark. No, it's not overshooting the mark at all. And I'm looking online here. There's buffalo bred in Cleveland. Yeah, buffalo, absolutely. And they make beautiful cheese, buffalo cheese. And they have it at the farmer's market.

We have a fantastic Clevedon farmer's market on a Sunday. I've heard about it. Never been, but I hear it's a great thing. Yeah, buffalo. There wouldn't be many buffalo in New Zealand, would there? No, there's not many. I think there's a few farms, but not a lot. Do you eat buffalo like a more aggressive cow? They do a little bit, don would they? No, there's not many. I think there's a few farms, but not a lot. Do you eat a buffalo like

a more aggressive cow? They do a little bit. They're like, hey, don't mess with me, buddy. Yeah. I'll let you milk me for some cheese, but that's about it. That's all you're getting. More than likely. Apart from buffalo cheese, what's one other thing we should do if we come to Cleveland? One other thing you should do when you come to Cleveland? Sorry, I keep saying

Cleveland. Ben keeps wanting to promote Cleveland in America. I'm like, mate. I'm a big LeBron James supporter of the Cleveland Cavaliers back in the day, so I keep saying that. I apologise. It's all right. It's Clevedon. So if you come to Clevedon, you need to walk up Hempsteadon,

which is a beautiful forest walk up the hill. Beautiful walk. I think if Clevedon didn't have an official tourism spokesperson, they've got one now. And it's you, Carol. Thank you. That's you. Alright, I'll give you a little sash. I think I'll be pretty right.

Cancel the sash, guys. Do you still want the crown, John? I ordered the crown. Cancel the sash, we've still got the crown order. You go look after yourself in Clevedon and go milk a buffalo or whatever you do. That's lovely. Thank you for your call.

Nice to see you, mate. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Yeah, well, you've been sleeping, dreaming of fluffy unicorns eating candy floss. We've been out there in the woods

chopping down the news trees, doing God's work, and gathering the news that's broken overnight. It made it sound like it was a real tough job to Google a few things and check on some news sites. But it was a tough job for you this morning. You're like, there's nothing. There's nothing. Oh, because normally we like stuff that we can banter a bit about and have a bit of fun with. That's what this show is about. That's all we want. We just want to have some fun, Ben. Yeah. And today we had to look far and wide,

but we have found a couple of things that we thought were interesting for New Zealand Field Days. Now, that happens every year in the Waikato, but because of COVID, they couldn't have enough time to organise it this year, so it started online yesterday. So the online Field Days, it's an online platform. You can still see exhibitors, webinars,

live videos and sales. And Prince Charles welcomed everyone. He had the opening message. I have such fond memories of attending my first Field Days some 50 years ago now. That event in 1970 was, I believe, just the second occasion on which Field Days was held. He remembers going to Field days 50 years ago. He does. Fond memories.

Fond memories. Oh, the times I reminisce about going to Mystery Creek in Hamilton. Oh, we send them to some shoddy places, don't we? Field days is fun, though. Field days is fun. Harry went off to Stewart Island. Yeah, that's it. Awful crimes he'd done in a previous life to deserve that.

But yeah, we've been down to field days a couple of times. Fond memories. Yeah, that's it. Awful crimes he'd done in a previous life to deserve that. But yeah, we've been down to field days a couple of times. Fond memories. Fond, fond memories. 50 years time will reflect on those fond memories. So my dad, Kevin,

he's staying with us at the moment and we actually saw that Prince Charles thing. It was on the news last night. Oh, dad just segues into a story. He was like,

you know, I won a quiz competition by guessing Prince Charles' day of birth. Then he went into a five minute story about how he was won a quiz competition by guessing Prince Charles' day of birth. Then he went into a five-minute story about how he was born on the same year as Prince Charles, and he worked out his birthday, and then he worked out, oh, man, they won $1,500. That was the story. Hold on, so your dad didn't actually know the answer.

He just calculated. If they figured it out, someone else had been born on the same, oh, yeah. Anyway, I zoned in and zoned out of the story, much like people do with this radio show. I've zoned in 10 times, zoned in and zoned out 10 times since we started this. Anyway, field day's a fun time. And, you know, for a lot of farmers, it's the only time of the year they actually get out off the farm. So it's a bit sad, isn't it?

It's really sad that it's not. It's only online this year. And also in other news, overnight. They always do this every year. It seems like Durex, the condoms, do a survey. Oh, they do a survey to just market their new bloody ultra-thin connies, don't they? Look at this. You won't even feel it on you. So they said more New Zealanders in this year's survey, so more New Zealanders would give up sexy time, we'll say, for three months

than sacrifice their phones and technology. But 51% of New Zealanders would prioritise Netflix, television or their phones over, you know, those sort of times. Well, those, you know, Netflix lasts a lot longer, doesn't it? That's true. Tiger never lasts the length of a Tiger King episode. Yeah, well, that's probably a very good point Yeah

It's Jury's that's so well with those surveys, don't they? You're right, it's good marketing for them Well it is, because I mean look, we've just lapped it up, haven't we? Yeah, we have We're like, oh here's a fun survey, a quirky survey we could fill some air time with And here we are right now And we're doing it And usually they send in some free goods, don't they?

But the amount of lube I've got from Jury's is crazy. It was in my underpant drawer. I'm like, why have I got so much of this? I've never used it. But if you need to be

lubricated, Ben, I can douse you. That's good. I've got some squeaky doors at home, so maybe we can use it on that. Yeah, I might need to find alternative uses for it.

And that is scrolling through your feed this morning. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. No one knows more about the people you couldn't care less about

than producer Juliette. Here she is with Spy. Thank you very much. So rapper 50 Cent and Will Smith have come to blows. So after the whole drama that Jada Pinkett Smith had an affair with a young American singer during her separation to Will Smith, 50 Cent checked in on Will, DM'd him, asked him why they sat down and filmed it for everyone to see,

and he said, you know, she did her and I did me. We decided it was the best decision. And then 50 Cent kind of wound him up and sort of, how would you describe it? He sort of. He sort of said a term for them making, you know, having sex. But it was in a bit of a sort of derogatory way, I guess. What did he say?

Oh, we can't really say it. Is that why you're kind of like meandering around us? Yeah, it feels like something you probably shouldn't say on the radio. Right, okay. Yeah, so it was a bit awkward. And Will just responded saying, you know, screw you, Fitty Cent. And then Fitty

reposted the messages. Which I thought was a really interesting move to make. Yeah. You're privately direct messaging someone and then you post it publicly

going, what did I do? And you're like, well, hang on. And you kind of wound them up a bit. I'll tell you what, it's quite embarrassing having your private conversations in such

a public setting. They now know the shame of hosting a breakfast show on the radio, don't they? Yeah. And who's going to take love advice from 50 Cent?

Yeah. Yeah, but it was interesting because it went from him reaching out and going, hey, everything alright over there to, and a couple of messages later, sort of offending Will Smith and him saying F you.

Maybe it was kind of like a hook, line and sinker approach. Like, oh, I'll be nice and then I'll attack, you know? Not often you get to troll your favourite celebrity straight to their phone. Well, yeah. Gotta fight slow for them. Yeah, I agree. And

Ben Stiller, he has revealed that people have been asking him to edit Donald Trump out of Zoolander after he made a cameo in it. It was literally only a five second cameo. Here it is here. Without Derek Zoolander, male modelling wouldn't be what it is today. So it was literally just that

and Ben's like, well I won't edit him out because it happened whatever and there's so many other films with Donald Trump in it where he makes cameos. And it's quite the process you'd have to take it back to the sound, get that remixed. Are you going to re-release it or what? Yeah.

All you Zoolander without Donald Trump. And the three seconds he's featured. Isn't he in Home Alone as well? Yeah, Home Alone 2. He's been in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Sex and the City, the Drew Carey show, The Little Rascals. So many cameos over the years. And you were saying, Jono, that one of the requirements

for filming in Trump Towers back in the day was you had to have a Trump cameo in the movie or the TV show. Yeah now yeah that's not the actions of a narcissist is it? In any way. But I hear they're also going to try and edit him out of The Apprentice as well so people are just going to be competing to win a job with a guy in a suit with a pixelated face. They suddenly just leave for no reason you're like why didn't they get up and leave the board meetings? Imagine if he was removed from all those films. He would just be on a Twitter rampage.

How dare you remove me from those films? They're trying to edit him out of the White House this year, so we'll see how that goes. Exactly. For more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It is the hits. Jono and Ben wrapping up our show on a positive note. Hey, feelings.

Maybe some words that may make sense. Maybe not. Well, this is wow, wow, wow. I'm just saying words too. We like to end the show on a positive note. We walk out of here with a pep in our step, and then our boss Todd rips our guts out and puts them through the hits paper shredder.

Yeah, he does. Which has been used to rip up many incriminating documents here at the station. But let's go to the phones. Dave-O, it's going to be a good day. Why? Mate, I don't know why, but it's going to be the greatest. Oh, it's going to be. Very vague.

You never know what the day's going to hold. Thank you very much, Dave. We'll send you out some hell pizza. That's why it's going to be a good day, all right? Mate, thank you. Love you. And let's go to Alaska. It's going to be a good day, right? Mate, thank you. Love you. And let's go to Alaska. It's going to be a good day.

Why, Alaska? Because we're driving to Tauranga to see our cousins. Yeah, you are. Cousin time. Some conversation and some playing.

You're going to have some hell pizza as well. Enjoy your drive. Drive safe, all right? We will. Thank you. Hey, good on you. We're back tomorrow morning,

six o'clock. Very special guest on the show tomorrow, Josh. 685. you know him from TikTok He's blowing up all over the world Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from 6 on The Hits And via the iHeartRadio app