Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - July 15 - Judith Collins, The A To Z Of New Zealand, Ben Gifted His Wife A Frying Pan

Episode Date: July 15, 2020

Hey mates! Today we spoke to Judith Collins, the new leader of the National Party, as well as JAWSH 685 who collaborated with Jason Derulo on Savage Love which is topping the UK charts! Finally, we talked bizarre birth stories and Carol-Anne went into a loooot of detail about her birth!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Hey Ben, welcome to the podcast. Good to have you on. Producer Humphries. Producer Humphries come barging in. What did you want to say, mate? What do you want to say?

It looked like you're coming with a laptop open. You're coming with an importance. What's going on? Oh no, it's just checking in. Are you guys all set for tomorrow? Yeah. What's tomorrow? This is where we play Barb the videos, the viral videos.

Oh, you were just checking. Yeah, right. So this was off air logistics because tomorrow we're playing, yeah, the top five viral videos as voted by you to Barbara. No, I'm chewing gum here. My question is how long do you chew gum before you should stop chewing that particular piece of gum? When the flavour goes out.

But I always end up with this. Well, no, but you do chew it for longer than the flavour goes out. You ride it out for at least another half hour, don't you? At least. You do. I've seen you, though, mow through a pack. You just keep adding to the gum. I do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just ends up like a giant snowball in my mouth. You always have, like, airwaves as well, don't you? Yeah, like a 75-year-old man. Clearing out the airwaves in your nose. Whenever you have airwaves, well, don't you? Yeah, like a 75-year-old man. Clearing out the airwaves in your nose. Whenever you have airwaves, it's like an initial, whoo-wee, here we are. Here we are.

I've got the mouth of a grandma. Why is it always designated to the older people, airwaves? It doesn't need to be. I'm sure the people there, they want to market to all people, all lovers of chewing gum, and you love it. What's your favourite flavour of chewing gum? I always go with the PK, aren't you? No, no. Oh, extra. You like

extra teeth whitening. That's your one. It's the bubble mint. It's got the bubble mint. It's got a nice sort of... Bubble mint flavour? Yeah, it's the white. Is it the teeth whitening one? It's got extra white. I don't know why that... Oh, you're sugar free? Bubble mint. There you go. So, yeah. It's my favourite. It's not sponsored.

When was the last time you had a Hubba Bubba? Oh, tell you what the kids got the other day was those ones. You remember they come and they were all looped and they rolled up? Oh, and they were about three metres long. Yes. Yeah, they got one of those. Sometimes as a child I'd just end up with all of that in my mouth. It doesn't

surprise me. Like I was about to, and it looked like I was about to vomit. You know, your mouth's so full but you're trying to hold it in. Yeah, or three metres of chewing gum in your mouth. Yeah, and they say the swallowing thing, the seven years digestion thing is just... Oh, what if that's true? No, apparently it's not. No.

Apparently it just passes through. Okay. It doesn't get stuck in your intestines or anything like that? No, no. I mean, out the other end, you could end up blowing a bubble, maybe. Enjoy the podcast today. Bubblegum chat aside, we've got a good show today. We chat to Judith Collins.

She's the new leader of the National Party. She joins us, as well as the Kiwi teenager with the number one song in the world, joins us on the show. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Judith Collins? Oh, yes, it's me. Oh, hello.

It's Jono and Ben congratulations Oh thank you very much You must have had a lack of sleep but you must be feeling pretty good I was so excited for the challenge but I really couldn't sleep for ages and ages and ages Last night you said

you were going to go and have a good old drink You did We had not that much, actually. It was, you know, when you've got a lot of adrenaline going and you don't need much. We had a drink in the caucus room last night to celebrate and, you know, the team was there and we had a few old yarns and things

and I went off quite early. But, gosh, I couldn't go to sleep. I bet. Well, I mean, it wasn't probably the night to lay the hammer down. You couldn't have woken up this morning all dusty and hungover. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Yeah, don't start it like that, I thought.

No, no. So the meeting yesterday seemed to drag on quite a lot. Was there some tense conversations going on? No, it was pretty good. Look, a normal caucus takes about two hours normally. So the one last night took about two hours, and that's fine. We were great. I mean, we had two big things to do.

One was the leadership and the other deputy leadership. And I thought it was fabulous. We got the whole thing done within a day, not even a day, really just a couple of hours. And it came out a big, fat, united team, and we came out of Big Fat United team and we turned up all together actually backing each other. Was the meeting catered?

Because I'd be like, if I was a backbencher, I'd be like, oh, you need me to turn up to this thing. Can we get some hell pizza or something? No, we didn't cater it. And I've always found with these meetings, if you want them to last forever,

cater them. If you want them short, get them moving. Right. Strictly, Collins has got a no catering policy. Yeah, keep them hungry. Are you ready for the job? And I don't mean that in a rude way,

but I mean, you know, it's going to be, you know, it's stressful, there's a lot of media, you know, it's going to be very busy up until now in the election. Are you ready for it? You've got annoying interviews like our one. I mean, you ready for this? Yeah, absolutely. I've been ready forever.

That's a good answer. I feel a bit sorry for Todd Muller. Have you spoken to him? Yeah. I haven't spoken to Todd yet, but I have had someone send me through a message last night that he was absolutely thrilled with the result, and I will try and speak to Todd today. I just think he's a great guy and I

have enormous respect for him and I loved working with him and I'm going to continue to love working with him because he's part of our team. Who's texted you, Judith Collins? I'll list some names, you just tell me if they've texted you. There's so many. I have to say I haven't replied to them yet.

I've got so many to reply to. You haven't got that seen function because sometimes people have seen on their text and they know if you've seen it, you haven't replied to them yet, but I wish they may have replied to me. You haven't got that seen function, because sometimes people have seen on their texts and they know if you've seen it, you haven't replied. So hopefully you haven't got that. No, I hope not. I don't hear anything like that, no. Has John Key texted you? No, John Key rang me, actually, before the boat, you know, the caucus last night,

and he said to me, he was backing me, and we had a little chat and stuff and I said have you heard me for a long time John? Oh I always had your number. It was great and I really appreciated it and I just feel fantastic. And has Jacinda texted you? No I haven't

seen one here from Jacinda but I do have a nice one here from John Hart the former coach of the All Blacks. He's not calling me out for the All Blacks, although when I was a child I wanted to be an All Black. So, you know, it's all cool. You're a big Chiefs fan, aren't you? You're a Warriors fan, I've seen.

Look, I support, in league, I support the Vodafone Warriors. I support the, in rugby, I support the Chiefs. I support the Blues now that they're actually starting to win a bit. And I absolutely always support the All Blacks. Okay, now, Judith, I know we were reading an article and you didn't like the nickname that was bestowed upon you when you were threatening to crush Boy Racers' cars, crush your Collins.

You didn't like that? Well, I thought, oh, gosh, why would you want to call me that? But, you know, hey, it's better than being called a wimp No one says wimp Collins They say Crusher Collins or Judith Collins Judith Collins is really me because Trouble with Crusher it's a bit one dimensional It's like it's pretty flat and one dimensional

But hey Better than wimp We were saying it's a great name for a UFC fighter Or something Crusher Collins We're going to come up with some alternatives for you Judith Hey, better than wimp. We were saying it's a great name for a UFC fighter or something. Yeah. But we're going to come up with some alternatives for you, Judith. Okay, you just tell us if you like these nicknames. You go first, Jono.

Okay. You go first. Rudy Judy. That's not bad. Not bad. She likes Rudy Judy. Okay. What about the dictionary?

Because Collins is a famous dictionary. You don't have to explain that one, but it's very knowledgeable. Oh, that is very knowledgeable. And, yeah, I like that. Okay. Or what about Ludi Judy? Yeah, maybe not Ludi Judy. No, no.

I don't think that's the one. I've never been a Judy. Rudy Judy was the other one. Hey, Judith. That one, the Hey Jude from the Beatles. Hey Jude's okay. Jude's okay. Okay.

Auntie Jude. Auntie Jude. Hey, Judith Collins, congratulations Jude from the Beatles. Jude's okay, Jude's okay. Okay. Aunty Jude. Aunty Jude. Judith Collins, congratulations on your new posting. You've probably got far more important things to do right now than talk to us. We appreciate your time. Good luck. And hey, always welcome on here for a chat if you want. We're always desperate to fill airtime, so you just call us whenever you want to talk.

You know, guys, I'm always here for you. Oh, very nice to talk to you and well done again. Okay, thank you. Bye-bye. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jorowyn Manomahit. In Ohio a couple of days ago, this is remarkable.

One in 50 chance, one in 50 million chance of this happening. Three Ohio sisters gave birth on the same day in the same hospital with the same obstetrician. Was it a C-section? They were all induced. Yeah, so they were basically induced to have slightly earlier, but the chances of it all lining up in the same sort of 24 hours was still unlikely. And then you take that back nine months and they were all at the same time.

Yeah, and the chance of the pregnancy as well. Or at the same exact moment. Yeah, so three sisters, same birthday, same hospital, same obstetrician. That's incredible. That's a great way. One in 15 million. It felt like they were hunting for a record though, didn't it?

Yeah. Let's induce us all and get this done. We'll have one obstetrician. I'd do it too if I was in their position. But I can't. No. We can't get pregnant being you and me. No, we can't.

No, it's the law of nature. It doesn't allow us to. What was your birth like? I reckon you, Jenny, would have had a wonderful, calm birth with you. No, I was all coming out the wrong way and all sorts. Which way were you coming out? Out the back? Mum's got a scar up because, you know, back in the day, you know.

Scar on her chest? Yeah, through her stomach when I was sort of taking. Were you stuck? Yeah, I was sort of stuck and taken out apparently. And mum always says that they never talked of Ben or Benjamin as a name. But when dad came in and goes, oh, you've had a boy, she was so like on medication. She goes, oh, boy, Benjamin apparently.

And he was like, okay, sweet. Oh, so you were picked under a drug-fuelled haze. Yeah. So yeah, afterwards it was like, oh, really? I named him that. Last time I spoke to your mum, Jenny, she baby shamed you. She fat shamed you. She was like, you're a real chubby baby.

We used to call her Michelin Man. And I was like, all right. I was like, thanks, mum. And, well, that's probably given you a lifelong eating disorder and why you're a menorexic now. So, let's check this out there. What was crazy about your birth? Were you born on a pool table of

the Delta Tavern in Ngaruahia? Because that would be a wonderful story. Were you born in the back of a car? Were you born on a plane? Oh that must happen a lot. Yeah because I guess up until, you don't let people fly too close to the pregnancy but maybe it has happened. I don't know.

Yeah. My mum had me in Seattle. I was born in Seattle in America. That's right. You were too. Yeah. They were up there. Dad was in the Air Force.

Mum was up there, and they had a wonderful, passionate embrace. Lasted for hours. Didn't stop. It was almost like, you know how Sting from the police practices? Oh, yeah, the tantric stuff. Yeah, went on for weeks. And then I popped out. This lovely little thing.

Lovely little ball thing. Let's all look at the same. It's just a few more tattoos. So, 800 of the hits. What was special about your birth? Were you born in an unusual location? Was it newsmaking, like these three sisters in Ohio?

Let's go to the phones. What's special about your birth? Natasha, you're from Hokitika. Welcome to the show. Where were you born? Where were you born, Tash? I was born in Fiji. In Fiji?

At the back of the car, yeah. Oh, in the back of the car? Yes, and by the cemetery. You're in the back of a car, by the cemetery in Fiji? Wow, were you on the way to the hospital? I think, yes. Because I was, me and my brother, we were just one year apart.

And then I think we were living in a rural area. And I think when my mom started having contraction pain, my dad was taking her to the hospital, but, you know, they couldn't make it. Wow, so there you go. So your dad had to deliver you? Hey? So your dad basically helped deliver you?

No, no, my dad's mum, so my grandma. Your grandmother pulled you out? How do you cut the umbilical cord there in that situation? You might have to wrap it around the bloody gear knob, do you? Yeah, I don't know why about the umbilical cord, but then I was taken to the health centre, and then we were transferred to a hospital after that. That's an amazing birth.

Yeah, I asked my mum who cut my umbilical cord. Oh, in the back of the car in a cemetery. I got to third base with Ben. He's never talked about it since. Thank you very much, Natasha. And Carol Anne from Nelson, you gave birth to your daughter where? In the toilet, on the toilet floor,

because the midwife sent us home and said I wasn't in labour. Oh, you got sent home? Yeah, I got sent home from the hospital to say that I wasn't in labour. I got home, my honey went to sleep, the children went to sleep, the boys. And I needed to go to the loo, so I went to the loo and bam, she came out of me and slipped down my leg. Bam! That's what I say every time I go as well.

Honestly, God, it was that quick. Bam! Yeah, and honestly, God, with my first son, I was in labour and I went to the hospital. And this was Robert. And they turned around to me and they said, oh, you're six centimetres dilated, you're going to have to pay. You're going to get quite dicked.

And I went, no I'm not, because it's Christmas and I hadn't got my honey his Christmas present, so I discharged myself, went back later on, told my honey I was in labour, didn't believe me, rushed me to the hospital,

15 minutes later, Robert came out. How many centimetres dilated were you then? I was 16 centimetres dilated. Okay. Caroline, here you are. Oh, wow. Love you, Caroline. Bam! It's not the end of it. Please make it the end of it. I can't stand anymore.

I've got second son, Michael. Play a song, Juliet. At the supermarket. It's too much detail. I said to my honey, I'm in labour. I can feel the baby. So we got to the hospital. 13 centimetres dilated? No, the doctor didn't make it.

My honey birthed Michael. Oh, there you go. Your honey birthed Michael. Well, that's a wonderful story. Wow. I am truly traumatised. Carol Ann, you're a wonderful human being. Thank you for phoning through.

You're welcome. Have a good day. You too, buddy. Oh, my goodness. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. We've got a special guest in the studio. It's the hottest song in the world right now,

and it's created by someone from New Zealand. It's an amazing story, and he joins us in the studio. Josh, 685. How's it going? Hello. How are you? It's good to meet you. Congratulations on your success.

Thank you. I appreciate it. It's an amazing story. Now, can we slowly work our way through it, if that's all right? So you made a beat. Now, whereabouts did you make this beat? I made it at home, like one day coming off the school. I spent like two, three, maybe four hours just playing on my laptop.

Only four hours? Yeah. Do you know how long I have been battling away making average radio for 20 years and Josh comes home from school for two hours. Four hours. Four hours, does some stuff and blows up internationally. So you made this beat, you made it at home

and then what did you do with it? I put it up on YouTube and I just left it there until like up until April and then that's when everything started getting bigger and like so how does like how did it go from your bedroom to to blowing up on tick tock did you push it to anyone was it right timing did someone pick it up and roll with it or i think it was like um because there was this lady that posted it up on tick tock and she's like it wasn't me she just pushed it to tick tock and then um someone made like a catchy dance to it that goes along with it and then from there it started just blowing up because

of the song itself. People love the song. That's awesome. All over the world, so many countries and even people like Jennifer Lopez, Lizzo, all dancing to your song. How crazy is that? Ultra crazy. It's like just overwhelming. Still up until now. Jason Derulo,

obviously international pop star. He gets in touch and then he sings over your song. Yeah, luckily we went big for a collab and now look, we're hitting big on charts in there. It's not the number one song in the world right now. It's like number one on iTunes. It's crazy. Yeah.

So what's it like when Jason Derulo sends you a message and says, hey, I want to sing some music? That must be crazy. Yeah, it was because I I was only, like, I was just boxing at the time, just hitting, like, the bag outside, and then I got a notification on my phone, and I just ran inside.

Just started, like, getting crazy, like, in my brain, I was just getting crazy, but I was just trying to act chill, just showing my family. Was it Jason Derulo actually messaging you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so what did he say? Oh, he was just, like, complimenting, saying,

oh, nice beat, and he would, like, love to work. Yeah. All righty, and you're like, sorry, man, I'm just in the middle of boxing. I'll get back to you in half an hour once I've had my cardio workout. Yeah, I just started working on stuff from there, yeah. So he's kind of taken his version of the song, I guess he added his lyrics to it, right? But it just seems to work so well.

It's like catchy-ass and like on almost every radio station and that. Yeah. And so when you see it like going to number one in the UK and Germany and things like that, you must be just, it must be unbelievable. Yeah, because I'm only 17 and I just got it all at my age. That's amazing. This is the only reason we can talk to Josh is because it's school holidays. It's the only number one artist in the world

that you have to work around the school holidays to have interviews with. What is it like at school? Like, obviously, the kids, the teachers, they must know about this, right? Oh, yeah, heaps of the teachers. I think all of them, most of them know

because I saw them all dancing to it on like a little grid where they're all just dancing to it together. Well, geez, I tell you what, if that doesn't get you

some NCEA credits on a number one worldwide hit, I don't know what will. What Ben and me wanted to do is we wanted to take your song because on Savage Love, Jason Derulo did Savage Love.

He put his own lyrics over the top, right? Yeah. And we wanted to have a bit of a battle, Savage Burns. So we each gave ourselves, we went to the studio here and we were allowed to record something. I haven't heard Jono's

and Jono hasn't heard mine and we wanted you to judge which was the best version. Is that alright? So he's like made your own version of it. Yeah, so. I haven't heard Jono's and Jono hasn't heard mine and we wanted you to judge which was the best version. Is that all right? So he's like medium version of it. Yeah, so basically I get to mock Jono and he gets to mock me. As savage as we want, okay?

You're like, pull no punches, go hard. Pull no punches, we'll go savage. Now, quickly, just before we do play it, are we in any trouble with copyright issues? Will you sue us? I don't know. It's just for fun then. It's just for fun then. It's just for fun. Okay, so should I go first?

You go first. Okay, so this is me mocking Jono with some Savage Burns to your beat, alright? Savage Burns, Jono's head's a giant thumb. Savage Burns, I really like his mum. Savage Burns, like his career, the song is done.

So obviously focused around his bald head, which you can't see under the hat right now, but there you go. So there's a lot of bald burns there. So Savage Burns, what did you think? Out of 10, what are you going to give me? It was alright, but then when you said something about his mum... Oh, you're like, okay, alright.

Mums are no go-to. I love your mum. I said I really like your mum. He's always going there with my mum. Josh, this is. Josh knows. Me and Andy go, okay, so not a good start. All right, Jono, you get to mock me right now. Okay, prepare yourself. Check yourself into the Burns unit. I'm nervous, okay.

Okay, Josh. Savage Burns, I love my friend the talented Benjamin. His heart is kind, he's generous to everyone. There's really nothing mean that I could say about him. He's truly a sophisticated gentleman. Oh, so you've taken the high road. You haven't mocked me at all. Now I look bad.

Oh, it was just kind to you. Yeah. I was just kind and generous. So who wins the battle, Josh? Oh, me? No. You do, you do. I think we've just ruined any credibility your song had.

Hey, mate, in all seriousness, congratulations on your success. Thank you. Awesome. Can't wait to see what the future holds for you. See, the problem now is you're going up like this. You are not going to want to talk to us for about 10 years. And we'll catch you at the other end of your career when you come back to New Zealand.

So we'll see you in about 10 or 15 years for another interview. Congratulations. No, in all honesty, it's an amazing story. And New Zealand's so proud of you, so well done. Thank you. I appreciate it. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them.

That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hit. Hey, I got told off yesterday in the supermarket. Do you, I don't know if this is just me, but do you find yourself making your way through the fruit and produce aisle just like massaging and molesting all the produce and fruit? Do you do that? I try to do less of that now, especially around the COVID.

They were saying, don't touch any of the fruit, just grab it and put it straight in your thing. Yeah, I'm touching all of it for some reason. I'm tweaking the grapes. People love doing the avocado little stem, right? They're up and down, go, oh, it's ripe, it's ripe. Do you do that, Juliette? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you love avocados, don't you?

Yes, if at home Dad opens an unripe avocado, my gosh, does he get it. Like, he is in trouble with me. Now, apparently the trick is with avocados, the little knob needs to be loose. And if you push it in and it pushes in quite nicely, then you've got yourself a winner. Oh, I didn't realise that. Anyway, I end up squeezing them and just sort of perking them. And

a lady came up to me yesterday and she was sort of a lady who probably caught the bus there for free. Had a gold card. Right. Yeah. I don't want to stereotype a certain age group. You have. Boomer. I didn't want to say a certain age group. You have. She's like, Boomer. Boomer. I didn't want to say that. Those are your words, not mine. I just asked you as a question. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was. And she's like, what are you doing? I was

like, checking if the Avos are ripe, mate. And she was like, yeah, can't you put in your filthy fingers all over the fruit and produce? I was like, well, that's why you go home and wash it. So we got into a little bit of a heated debate. But it's funny when you think about it, how many random filthy fingers have been on your fruit, aren't you, when you take them home? Yeah, because in the case of an avocado, you probably wouldn't wash it as much as you would some of the other fruit because you're just kind of using,

you're cutting it open and using the inside, right? Yeah, yeah. Now you're like, how many random fingers have massaged my zucchini? I remember when Ben used to massage my zucchini. Massaged it in ages. Because you don't go supermarket shopping with me now, do you? No, you're right.

You don't help me check the firmness of the zucchini. But yeah, so that's my thoughts on it. Touch any fruit and produce you want, okay? Well, no, they say not to after COVID. Oh, no, take it all back. Don't touch any fruit and produce you don't want. Well, no, they say not to after COVID. Oh, no, take it all back. Don't touch any fruit and produce you don't want. Just choose it, grab it, and put it in. Good luck to you.

Well, my mum actually, after coming home with some fruit and veg during lockdown, she would literally put all the fresh fruit and veg in a sink of hot, soapy water as if you were washing dishes and scrub it. And I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah, we were doing that for a while there as well, but we were sort of slowly phasing out of there. I was washing singular grapes and going, what am I doing with my life? Surely there's better things I could be doing right now.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We want to know what you do all by yourself or have done all by yourself. You don't want to know the dark things I get up to by myself mate. All that sort of stuff. I was talking to someone in the weekend who he likes rock music. His wife doesn't like, isn't a big fan and

he's like it's too much trouble to ring around people you know and try and talk them into going to the groups that I like so I just go to concerts all the time by myself. By himself? And he says I love it. I go along you know there's heaps of people there. They all share the same love of the music and you chat to people. You have a good time and he's like I do it all the go along, you know, there's heaps of people there. They all share the same love of the music. And you chat to people. You have a good time.

And he's like, I do it all the time. The good thing is you can't lose anyone. Two of you turn up by yourself. Because you spend half the time going, Ben! Ben! Where are you, Ben? You know? So you're eliminating that.

It's good because you always, when you bring someone along, sometimes you feel a bit like, oh, if they're not their thing, you're like, are they going to have a good night? You're not worried about that. You're just going along for yourself and having a good time. So I'm like, that's a cool thing you're doing by yourself. I suppose you could do that with films as well. Because not everyone's into the same movie genres.

Yeah. I know you like a specific type of film, Ben. Oh, there we go. I see him sometimes go to a little boutique theatre on his own. You always walk in with a moustache and a trench coat. So you're like, I don't like anyone recognising me. I'm like, what's so embarrassing about the movie? Is it like an Adam Sandler movie or something?

There you go. There you go. If that's your little joke, are we ready to move on with this? Yeah, you can move on now. The boss Todd goes to legitimate movies by himself. Oh, does he? Yeah. What, in a trench coat?

No, legitimate. Oh, legitimate movies. They're all legitimate movies, mate. It's all art. It's all just? Yeah. What, in a trench coat? No, legitimate. Oh, legitimate movies. Are they all legitimate movies, mate? It's all art. It's all just how you perceive it, isn't it? Now I say legitimate makes it sound very illegitimate. But he goes to the movies a dozen or so times. He wants to go see a movie.

He's like, oh, just go along. Now, that makes absolute sense. And some good me time as well, isn't it? Well, because you go to the movies anyway. I always thought it was a bit of a strange place to go for a date as such because you end up not talking to let's catch up let's hang out

and you sit there quietly for two hours and not say anything and then say goodbye to each other and walk off to your cars at the end yeah true

everyone goes shh you know so you're like oh you have to be quiet okay let's do this 0800 the hits should we check this out there 4487

what do you do by yourself? yeah what do you do by yourself? have you travelled? have you I've been away for work many times you know know, like by myself, New York, LA, you know, places around the world and stuff like that. I know you and Amanda, you did, she went off on her OE by herself. She did for three months.

This is your wife? Yeah, she three months went by herself and I caught up with her three months later and then we went travelling for like six months, but me and her stayed with her mum. Joyce. Yeah. I love to do this. Ben and Joyce. Oh, that was great. Isn't that just lovely? for like six months but me and her stayed with her mum Joyce yeah lived at her house Ben and Joyce oh yeah

it was great isn't that just lovely we had a great time watching sport home cooked meals washing was oh it was amazing it was like a

just an older flatmate you know it was who did all your washing and loved you like a son-in-law yeah so nothing like a flatmate.

Okay, 0800 The Hits, what do you do by yourself? You can text 24487, get in touch with New Zealand's Breakfast, love to hear from you. Alice, welcome to the show. It's great to have you on, matey.

How are you? Good, thank you. How are you guys? Yeah, we're good. What are you doing separately, mate, on your own? Well, you know when you're going out with your partner

and you can never, it takes like an hour to decide for a restaurant? Yeah, yeah. To decide on a restaurant. Yeah, yeah. To decide on a restaurant. Yeah, we don't really like the same food. So he goes out for like a curry or, you know, Italian and I'll head out to the seafood or something.

Oh, so you dine separately? We dine separately, completely different places. We never bump into each other because it would be a bit weird. Do you meet up afterwards? I mean, yeah, we meet back at home and we're like, oh, how's your dinner? Oh, you good? And then he's got some irritable bowels.

You're like, yeah, you wouldn't have got there with a seafood buffet. Yeah, yeah. You guys need to go to more food courts together. Yeah, true. There's a good, there's a middle ground. Yeah. Staring at each other across the room, maybe. Yeah, that's interesting.

Do you go with, like, other friends friends or sometimes you just go on your own? It's just nice to go out by yourself sometimes because we come home to each other every night so it's nice to have dinner separately sometimes. It's a me time. It's an unusual place to have me time but who am I to judge? Thank you, Alice. You have a great day.

Let's head to the North Shore. Hannah, how are you? Hello. Welcome to the show, Hannah. It's lovely to have you on. What are how are you? Hello. Welcome to the show, Hannah. It's lovely to have you on. What are you doing by yourself? I go on holiday by myself. I've actually just been down in Queenstown for a week by myself. Oh, nice.

And why do you do this? Just to get away, have some me time? Well, I like to relax and my partner's more into his adventures. Like, he wants to go biking, all those sorts of things. I'd rather just lie on the beach and read or sit at home and, you know, chill out. No, it's a great time of year to lie on the beach in Queenstown, I'll tell you that. Lovely time of year.

Well, Ben, you're quite an active holiday guy. This sounds like my relationship as well, apart from the mountain biking. I'm not quite the mountain biking type, but I don't like sitting still. I like to do stuff. He's up at six o'clock, he's got a spreadsheet, they've got a timetable. My wife would,

you know, she's happy to sit down in those times and holidays to relax, read a book. Well, generally, that's what holidays are for.

And they're not for getting more wound up. You're not meant to come back from a holiday and be more stressed out than you were before you left. Let's do some stuff, guys. Come on.

We were half an hour late. For burning daylight. For the boat which had the glass bottom to look at the tropical fish. And I haven't really... We did that enough. I swam back to shore.

This was taking too long. I had more stuff to do. Hey, you're going to have a wonderful day, Hannah. Appreciate your time. Thank you. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. 0800 the hits.

That's our phone number. If you want to win some hell pizza right now, that could be yours. Unless Jono and I synchronise an answer. Synchronise answers. It's a fun game where you've wound up and you've won the prize, but in some sick ploy, it's our job to try and steal the prize off you

by synchronising our answers. This is how it works. And name for me a 660 song. Don't forget your roots! Yes! Yes! Yes! We're very excited about that. Whenever we have actually won this game, the prizes

have never been sent out to me. Ben, have you ever received any of the... No, you're right. No. Well, the help eats the could-be-ours. Who do we pin that on? If we get it wrong, though, there's punishment by way of public shaming from our CEO who strips one of us naked and shames us in reception. Very unnecessary, but it teaches us a lesson.

Let's go to the phones. Dan, welcome. Hey. Good to have you on. Dan, how's Wellington this morning? Not so good. Not so good. Hopefully no rain.

Everyone we talk to from Wellington's like, oh, not good today, mate. Oh, she's blown up. But on a good day, though. You can't beat Wellington. You can't beat it on a good day. I'm hoping for snow. Oh, you're hoping for snow?

Oh, yeah, that'd be right. Oh, OK. It does get cold. I spent six very bleak months in Tawa, and boy, it gets cold there, doesn't it? Oh, absolutely freezing. The wind cuts through you. But anyway, let's not focus on Wellington's wind.

I think that'll be around for years to come. Let's try and synchronise up an answer. Well done, first and foremost. You've won Hell Pizza vouchers, $40 worth, Dan. Oh, sweet. That'll be good. Unless we sync an answer up, Juliet. All right, name for me a mountain in New Zealand. Taranaki. Oh!

Oh! Oh! I was going to go cook, and I thought, hey, I'm going to cook. I'm going to go Taranaki. No, no, I didn't, Dan. Oh, we took him off, and I tell you what, the elation. Some would say it far exceeds what we've managed to achieve. I'm sitting around the studio.

It's a great moment. I'm wide awake. Oh, Dan, I'm sorry. We've stole them off you. No part of me feels bad about that, but I really do. I feel bad about it. Hold the line. Don't you do this.

Hold the line. No, no. Don't say anything on air. He always gets the guilt and he's like. Off air, I'll give him the pizza, but on air, I won't. No, no. It's not the game. The pizza's not coming your way. Off air, hold the line, I'll give you the pizza.

No, Ben. He phoned up and he knew. All good, all good. It's not all good. No, no, no. Hold the line. Hold the line, hold the line. What's the point of it?

What? He knew the rules. Hold the line, hold the line. And then off here he'll be like, it's okay, man, we'll send him out to you anyway. I'll just put you on to the bin, I'll help you out, producer. He'll get your details.

Hey, thanks for listening, mate. Thanks. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy the WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. Stop talking to me. Stop asking me questions.

No follow-up questions. Listen, if you cut producer Juliet, she would bleed out gossip and then pass out due to blood loss. But that wouldn't matter. She would still deliver this. Spy Entertainment News. What have we got, Juju? Thank you very much.

Now, Kanye West, some polling numbers have come in for his run for president. So, take a guess. What did you guess? 15uju? Thank you very much. Now, Kanye West, some polling numbers have come in for his run for president. So, take a guess. What did you guess? 15%? I said 15% would be... I thought that was on the lower side and you said it was too much, so I'm going to go 9%. He is polling at a whopping 2%,

baby. This wasn't a very big survey, though, was it? No, it only surveyed 2,000 people. Oh, out of the whole of America? Yeah. Oh, right. Donald Trump dropped a percent. He's the one that Kanye's hurting, not Biden. But, out of the whole of America? Yeah. Oh, right. And it was like Donald Trump dropped a percent. He's the one that Kanye's hurting, not Biden. But it was only 1% from Trump. Yeah, exactly.

So I don't know how much you can read into that, but TMZ were all over this this morning. Oh, there's a hot political source, TMZ. Yeah. That'd be within the margin of error too, wouldn't it be 2%? You'd think so, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, particularly. They would have done a bit better than that anyway. Maybe. And I did read an article that they were saying this whole campaign might hurt Trump more than it would have hurt Joe Biden. Yeah. Oh. What? That Kanye may take more votes off Trump than he would Biden.

He might do. I thought it was the other way around. No, that's what I would have thought as well, Benjamin, man. I went, oh, okay, I'll use that little bit of... You back-wiseled me with that. I was like, what? Yeah, so there you go. Maybe'll use that little bit of you've beckwuzzled me with that I was like what yeah

so there you go maybe it'll be a bit of both and Jada Pinkett-Smith after the whole cheating affair drama with Will

Smith she's been offered two million dollars to represent and be the face of an affairs

website which is basically a website that you go to to have an affair

which is really bizarre no word whether she's taking it or not she's probably not going to take it

which is a good decision oh well listen if you're the face of an affair, which is really bizarre. No word whether she's taking it or not. She's probably not going to take it, which is a good decision. Oh, well, listen, if you're the face of an affair website, you take some money where you can get it. $1 trillion is pretty good. That's good cash.

I mean, Ben, you're like, oh, yeah, I'll bulk front an affair website. Do I have to have one? No? Okay, I don't care.

I haven't had one, but I'm thinking about it now thanks to this website. Yeah, true. I'm going to be a Ben Boyce spokesman. I haven't had one, but if I could,

I would go to I'll use his website. Not for me, but hey. Affairs.'t had one But if I could I would go to Who uses his website? I don't believe it Affairs.com If it's your thing Then go to this site Surely it's just You know if everyone's

Having an affair on the website Surely it's just Everyone's profile Is just a pixelated face Yeah Probably Because you don't want to be like Hey here I am

Happy with wife and kids But boy I could get Some bit on the side Yeah true Well I think it's like The people behind the website Must get all the information, almost like a blind,

maybe like a blind date situation. Oh, this seems risky. I know, really. Risky. We'll just take all your photos and all your information. Trust us. We'll be fine. And we will match you up with the appropriate scumbag

who also is having an affair. Is that true? And then you're like, I want to opt out of this. And they're like, well, do you? Oh, do you? Because we've got your photos. You went on that date with such as a, yeah, you'd be like, oh, I want to opt out of this. Oh, do you? Because we've got your photos. You went on that date with such and such.

Yeah, you'd be like, oh. I love it how they talk like this too. The guy who runs the affair website. Wasn't there one in all the information? Ashley Martin. Ashley Martin. What? Oh, sorry.

Ashley Madison. Madison. Sorry, apologies to Ashley Martin. That was not intentional. But yeah, Ashley Madison, I think all the people, that same sort of thing. It was a website where you'd want to go on and have an extra relationship.

And all those details got leaked on there. Really? Imagine how many bloody sphincters were going. And that came out. That's so true. The most fire into the hits.co.nz. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

We've been on a mission to get the best viral videos from the internet to play to our listener Barb, who's never seen any viral videos. And one of our favourites is the Scottish grandma who's reading a Kiwi book, The Wonky Donkey by Craig Smith, and is just loving it. I was walking down the road and I saw a donkey.

Yo. He's a stinky, dinky, l honky tonky winky honky. And she joins us on the phone right now via Zoom in Scotland. Janice Clark as I live and breathe. Good morning. Nice to talk to you. Thank you for taking the time. No worries. You're welcome. It's lovely to hear from you. Thank you for taking the time. No worries.

You're welcome. It's lovely to hear from you. How's the haggis? Just as good. And the proclaimers, they're still walking 500 miles? Oh, my God. They've gone now. Oh, they've gone now.

They're too old. They can walk five miles these days. That's about it. Lovely. Now, you became very famous on the internet for reading a book from where we're from in New Zealand. Yes. You were loving the crap out of that book, Janice.

Yeah. I had never read it before. It was, we actually, we picked it up at a recycling market and I had just been running to the daughters for a cuppa and that and I thought, oh, I'll read this to the little fella and it just cracked me up. I understand about 15% of what you just

said there. So the author, we spoke to the author of the book, Craig Smith who's a New Zealander a while ago and he was saying that the book was very popular in New Zealand, but your video helped it get worldwide success. I know.

It's amazing, isn't it? Like, how did it go viral? I'm always really interested to understand what was the process or the journey the clip took to reach international stardom. So who filmed it? Was it your daughter that filmed it? Is that right?

Yeah, she was videoing it on her phone because she knew what the book was about and she knew that I would laugh. So she started filming it just to put it on her Facebook. Yeah, and it just went by there. And then, so when did you realise that, uh-oh, millions of people have seen this?

Oh, the minute she put it on Facebook, I said, you didn't, did you? And she went, yep. And I went, oh my God. And then she came to me, I think it was a month or so later, and she goes, Mum, she just went viral. And I went, what?

Do people recognise you? Do they go, that's the lady that was laughing lots in the donkey book? No, no. I'm stuck. I can still walk about incognito. It bothers me. Okay.

Still got your anonymity. You know the word I'm trying to say. Janice, you know the word I'm trying to say. Have other authors tried to send you books now too to go, geez, she's a great marketing tool? Look, the little fella has benefited so much out of this. We've got books coming from all over the place. Wow.

And it's hard to get through them all, like, because he doesn't want you to sit still now. There's only so much reading I can do here and so much laughing. Yeah. But, yeah, I've read quite a few. I've read quite a few of them, so. And I've still got a heap to go through. Now, we're joined by Janice Clark,

who went viral on the internet after reading the wonky donkey. Now, do you get paid? Is there some financial kickback from going viral, Janice? Please tell me there is. No, not really. I get a little bit for them, but it's nothing to brag about. Nothing to brag about? No.

Your voice is adorable. What an amazing thing to have happen in your life, and thank you very much for talking to us. I really do appreciate it. Before we go, Jono wanted to try one thing. I'm going to throw this all on you, Jono. Now, what I've collected is some of the best comedy jokes, okay? From the internet. And I'm going to read them out to you and see if they land with you. I mean, you've got a

rich history of laughing at things. You don't have to laugh though. Remember, you can use your discretion. Are you ready? Yeah. Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? I don't know. She had bad blood. Nothing. Nothing. Not good.

Not good either. This is the lady who laughs at everything and has just died. Okay. Well, you picked a reference. Maybe she doesn't know Taylor Swift as well as maybe the catalogue of songs that Taylor Swift had.

By the way, Jenna, she had a song called Bad Blood. Oh, did she? I should have laughed. It was popular a few years ago, but anyway, that's fine. Here's the second one. I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out. Nothing.

That's lame Nothing That's lame That's lame Nothing Janice That's lame Give me something babes You got nothing You got nothing

Okay here's the third Oh this is the last one You've got to work in threes I can't take any more of this Please What I'm going to do is I'm going to take that laugh you just did there And I'm going to edit it into one of my

No we're not We're not going to stitch you up. We're going to stitch you up in the edit, Janice. All right, here's the last one. I'd never let my children watch the orchestra. There's too much sax and violins. Yeah, you got a lot. I feel like it might have been a pity laugh, but you'll take it.

It sounded more like a chesty cough. Janice, the wonky donkey laughing grandma who went viral, thank you so much for your time. We really appreciate it. And thank you for bringing so much joy to us with your viral video. You're welcome. Thank you. Low in calories and low in laughs.

It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Now, yesterday, a very controversial, contentious item in the boys' household was removed from the house because it broke. And, Jono, you know this story, the backstory behind a frying pan. Oh, yeah, I've heard about this frying pan. It almost ended your marriage. A few years ago, it was our wedding anniversary,

Amanda and myself, and I, you know, look, I'd been trying to listen for things that Amanda had been talking about leading up to the wedding anniversary, Amanda and myself. And I, you know, look, I'd been trying to listen for things that Amanda had been talking about leading up to the wedding anniversary. I mean, that's a big thing in a relationship. Why don't you listen to me? And I remembered the wedding anniversary as well. So that was good because the previous year I'd forgotten and it's hard

when the date's tattered on your forearm. It's a really hard thing to go, oh, I forgot about that. Have you got it tattooed on you and you forgot? Yeah, I know. So it was like, yeah, so anyway, I forgot about that. Have you got it tattooed on you and you forgot? Yeah, I know. So it was like, yeah. So anyway, I forgot previous year. How did you come back from that? Not great.

When did you realise it was your wedding anniversary? The day after Amanda was like, hey, you know what yesterday was? I'm like, yeah, yesterday. Oh, she waited till yesterday. She might have been like, oh, maybe he's going to do like a flim flam. So he thinks he can't remember. And then she's like, oh, no, he definitely forgot. So the year that I remembered.

The one year. The one year I remembered. He's she's like, oh, no, he definitely forgot. So the year that I remembered. The one year. The one year I remembered. He's a real catch, ladies. I'm surprised he's still taken off the market. I was trying to listen, building up to the wedding adventure, things that Amanda wanted. And there was a pair of earrings she'd seen in a shop, you know,

and I was like, oh, cool, I'll buy that for her, you know, so I was listening. There was something else I bought for her. And then there was a frying pan. And this is... Juliet's like, you idiot. We should be saying how we need a new frying pan. We need a nice one. And I was like, oh, great.

I'll put that in amongst all these other presents for the wedding anniversary. I'd heard that you wanted a frying pan. I splashed down on a fancy frying pan. Surely I'll get some credits. Was it a T-fil or something? I don't know. It was a top of the line frying pan.

Was it one of those ones that you see on TV and they unnecessarily cook rocks on? You know, they're like cooking the pebbles in there. Well, you could have cooked rocks in this thing. It was so good. Yeah, there's an amount of times I've wanted to wake up and have a big plate of rocks. But it turns out, no matter what the circumstances,

is a frying pan is not a good gift to buy for your wife. No matter how much they've talked about needing a frying pan. Even on the anniversary. Yeah, and even if it's not the only present that you bought for your... Oh, so it came amongst others. Oh yeah, it wasn't like, here's your frying pan. I'd bought everything. And if you think that's where it stops,

here's an apron as well, love. Yeah, I realise. But I was, yeah, I bought earrings, I bought something else, I bought, you know, I bought a few things. Yeah, right. And the frying pan was part of the collection of things that I thought I'd listen to, but oh no. Ben was like, she can wear the earrings while she's using the frying pan was part of the collection of things that I thought I'd listen to, but oh, no. Ben was like, she can wear the earrings while she's using the frying pan in the kitchen.

It's a multi... So every time we cook with this frying pan, it's like a constant reminder of the worst gift that I had purchased. And now it's broken, so it must have been that good. It was only a couple of years ago you did this. Three years, I don't know. For a high-end frying pan, they meant to last forever.

Yeah, well, I feel like it was probably a good thing that it broke, because now I got to put the to last forever. Yeah, well, I feel like it was probably a good thing that it broke because now I got to put the frying pan out. Yeah, that chapter is close. Shaky chapter of the boys' marriage. Shut the door on that. Wrap that up in a bow and call it done. Yeah, exactly.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. A game show where you don't call us, we call you. Sorry, I wasn't concentrating. Let's go again, Ben. Take two. Don't call us, we'll call you.

You just phone people at random and put them in the middle of a game show to win. And what better way to start the day than two nasally radio announcers balking questions at you down the phone. All right, well, let's do it, eh? Hello, East Bernard Motor. How's Gillian speaking? Oh, Gillian, is it? Yes, it is.

Gillian, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits. Morning. Good morning. Welcome to Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. Okay, what does that all mean? We'll go again. I'll bring in the music and we just want a bit of a like a yay from you. Okay, take two.

Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. So you haven't called us. We've called you. That's how the name works. The game, basically we ask you four quick questions. They're pretty easy and you'll win $40 Hell Pizza. Oh, really? Do you realise that you've rung a motel? That's a bit interesting.

It's a little bit interesting. Well, we feel like you guys are always up at this time and ready for a call. Oh, Jesus, I'd hope so. Yeah, well, you're working hard, you know, you're out there doing great things, so we thought, yeah, we'll give you a quick call. As you say, you've just got to tolerate us for a minute or two

and then you'll get the hell pizza. Oh, okay. Righto. What do you need to ask me? Oh, well, here we go. Question number one. If I was in Cape Riega, which part of the country would I be in? Top, bottom or middle?

Top. Well done. There's one from one. Yeah. Testy nice hell pizza. All right. Kim Kardashian posed nude in the December 2000 issue of what? A, Ben Boyce's Instagram account,

B, Playboy magazine, or C, New Zealand Home and Garden magazine? Wouldn't be New Zealand Home and Garden. No. There was some garden on display. Okay, yeah, I think we know the answer to that one. The lovely lady garden. Okay, moving on, you got 20 dollars how pizza?

Kim Jong-un is the supreme leader of what? A. The Titarangi Lawn Bowls Club B. The Gore Country Music Club or C. North Korea I think probably North Korea. Are these questions too easy? I don't know, Ben. I don't know.

We've got to make them easy this time of the morning. Donald Trump owns and operates 18 what? A. Dor oil factories, B, mask factories, or C, golf courses? Golf courses. Yeah, he does.

$40 worth of Hell Pizza, that is all yours. Right, so where do you deliver Hell Pizzas in Gore? Well, listen, now you're going to get into logistics, aren't you? We're not logistics, guys. We just come in here. We're the high-impact players. We come in. We do some light banter.

We hand you off to the people that really matter. Oh, okay. Right. They'll work it out. When you ask us on the radio these sorts of questions, it gets quite awkward. Good. And we don't know the answers.

We fumble around. I'm trying to Google something right now. Very good to hear from you. Hey, listen, one question. You own and operate a motel. What's the craziest thing you've had to collect from a room or scene? I can't think of anything that's crazy, but I tell you what, every second or third person leaves their cell phone charges behind.

Oh, yeah, because I imagine that. You just plug them in. The people who are onto the case, they get those coloured ones so they can see that they're yellow or pink or orange or whatever. Oh, that's a good hack. Okay, not quite the filth I was after. No, but it was a good tip. No, no, no, we won't go there.

It was a good tip. I was sort of more thinking like suitcases full of unmarked bills left there by international con men. No, but I like the tip. It was great advice. No, the only other thing I can say is that we've pretty much only got New Zealanders here at the moment and they are very tidy.

Are they stimulating your economy? Yep, they are. That's good. That's what we need to do. Buy local, spend local, travel local, keep it local. Yep, most definitely. God bless Aotearoa

and God bless you for asking us about how you're going to get this pizza. Okay. Hold the line. We'll put you're going to get this pizza. Okay. Hold the line. We'll put you on to the important people. Hold up. Rightio.

Thank you. Good-o. Bye. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, one of the world's most famous circuses, Cirque du Soleil, has filed for bankruptcy, which is really sad, actually.

That is so sad because, jeez, that was probably the world's most famous circus. No animals. No. Animal-free circus. And they travel all around the world. Yeah, they come to New Zealand many times, residency in Las Vegas with many different shows. So they did the Beatles one and the Michael Jackson. Did they stick with that even after the doco?

I don't know. It's a bit controversial. No, we'll plough on through. Anyway, Cirque du Soleil, I know times I've been, I've been a couple twice when they've come to New Zealand. It's amazing, eh? Oh, it's incredible. But you get to a point in the show where you're like,

oh, he's only bloody swallowing a knife on a ball standing on one foot. You get less impressed as the show goes on, and you shouldn't because everything's phenomenal. Yeah, I always thought they should have half the stage and they had the amazing performer next to it, just some punter from the audience trying to do something,

just to show how hard it is. Put it in context. Oh, he's falling off the tightrope. This person's still up there. That's good, yeah. Because you become numb to it, don't you? Yeah. You're like, oh, what, only 32 backflips in a row?

Oh, I landed that one. On a motorbike? Oh, jeez, come on. But our dear friend Guy Williams, who we used to work with, remember we sent him? Yeah, Cirque du Soleil was in New Zealand, and so we sent him along to get an interview, you know, like for our TV show.

And they're like, come on, we'll get some exposure on the television. So we sent Guy along as our intrepid reporter. Oh, God, it was funny. He came back to the office and he looked like ghostly white, didn't he? And we're like, what's wrong, mate? He's like, oh, I kicked a circus performer in the face. And he looked quite sad about it. Oh, yeah, he was.

It was an accidental kicking. So he'd been on one of the, they sort of had, kind of like pink, she goes on sort of like a hula hoop that's lowered down from the ceiling and you spin around on it. Yeah. You sort of hop in there. Well, he hopped in there and he was spinning around

and the guy who was showing him what to do got a little bit too close and Guy's leg sort of stretched out and smashed him straight in the face. Broke his nose. Broke the French guy's nose. You could tell, he couldn't speak English, but you could tell he was furious. Oh, you would be. It was all on camera.

It would be. We could play it, understandably. The guy got banned from Cirque du Soleil worldwide. He wasn't allowed to return. Just purely from that incident. Well, I guess he was probably being a little bit of an idiot before that. This one was, this moment wasn't idiotic. He wasn't trying to be silly, but I guess that didn't play well.

So the only person happy with the bankruptcy of Cirque du Soleil is probably Guy Williams right now. He's like, well, that's good because I couldn't idiotic. He wasn't trying to be silly, but I guess that didn't play well. So the only person who were happy with the bankruptcy of Suit to Sol is probably Guy Williams right now. He's like, well, that's good

because I couldn't go anyway. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling a different town

or place in New Zealand. We're doing one a day and it's going to take us over two years to call every single town and cities in New Zealand. It's the A to Z. We're doing one a day and it's going to take us over two years to call every single town and cities in New Zealand. It's the A to Z. We're doing it alphabetically. Yeah, yesterday we went to a

rural part just outside of Auckland called Clevedon. We've got the most beautiful florist here in the world. Oh, in the world? In the world! Yeah, exactly. Congratulations. That's not overshooting the mark. No, it's not overshooting the mark at all. The most beautiful florist in the world.

And I haven't done any fact-checking on that, so I'm going to take her word for it. That's probably best not to. But today we're heading to the South Island, deep South, Clinton, which is a small town in South Otago. It's located on State Highway 1, approximately halfway between Belclutha and Gore.

And the section of the State Highway 1 between Clinton and Gore is known as the Presidential Highway. Is it really? With Bill Clinton and Al Gore as vice president. It's nicknamed the Presidential Highway. That's very clever. Population of Clinton. These are just actual facts today.

That's the most interesting thing you've said so far about it. I questioned it, though, because normally the facts you say are made said so far about it. I questioned it though because normally your facts you say are made up. Yeah, no. So that one was really good. I'm not that clever to make that up. That was really good. The population of Clinton is 282

so let's phone one of them. Food for thought, Laura speaking. Laura, guess who? Damien. It's Damien. How are you? It's not Damien. It's Jono and Ben from the It's Damien. How are you? It's not Damien. It's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station.

How are you? Good, thank you very much. We've phoned Clinton in the South Island. We're doing the A to Z of New Zealand, phoning every town and city in New Zealand. Well done, Clinton. Alphabetically, you're number 60. Wow. What can you tell us about Clinton?

There's not much here. Five horse town. Five horse town. Five horse town? We are the five horse town. You've got five horses there? We have. And how many humans? What's the human to horse ratio?

Oh, I couldn't honestly tell you. A couple hundred? Oh, so there's more humans than horses. Yeah, yeah. Okay, good. That's a good answer. So what else is Clinton famous for? I don't actually know.

That's a tough question. I'm sorry about that. She's like, we're literally in the middle of nowhere. I'm looking at your, the reason I called you is because I liked the name of your store, Food for Thought, and you're a food proprietor. Yes. I'm looking at, on Google Images here, a photo of one of your burgers. Oh, yes.

It almost looks too big for my little city-slicking mouth. King Burger. It looks like cheese, egg, mushroom, onion, bacon, patty, lettuce. Yeah, that's the one. That is a lot. Have you just thought of every ingredient you can squeeze into a hamburger? Pretty much, yeah. It's pretty famous in Clinton.

Do people finish those burgers? They look enormous. Yeah, I don't know how, though. I certainly couldn't get my mouth around one. What does it cost for a burger that size there? They are $12.50. Oh, that's a bargain. It's a big burger, though.

Yeah. It is a monster. That's a bargain for a burger that size. And what else do you sell there? We do takeaways. We've got a wee cafe, and we just do general grocery items. Oh, so hold on.

You're making burgers and you're a supermarket? Yeah, pretty much. How much are you getting a pack of smokes for nowadays? Cheapest pack is Taylee's. 20s is $28.90. $28? That is ludicrous. It's gone up.

It's a good thing, right? It's gone up. Back in my day, you could buy a pack of 10s for about $3. Oh, really? Back in my day? That was the 30s, 1930s. It was the 1930s. He'd ride his penny-thrubbing down to the store with a thruppence.

I was dressed like Oliver Twist. But yeah, no, that's 28. That's a hell of a... Is that for 20 cigarettes? Yeah. It's a good thing. Well, anyway, we've talked about five horses. We've talked about smoking.

We've talked about big burgers. I think we've done our dash. We're going to leave you to get on with your day. Rightio. If we come to Clinton, should we come see you? Yeah, of course. Sounds like we've got no choice. Sounds like you're the only thing in Clinton.

Just about. Hey, well, we'll let you get back to making your enormous burgers and selling your expensive cigarettes. Okay. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. This is the news that's broken overnight,

and if you don't feel educated and informed after this, then I don't blame you. You should be listening to a more informed radio show. Yeah, exactly. Now, Judith Collins is the new leader of the National Party. Yesterday, around about this time, 24 hours ago, Todd Muller, shock announcement that he was leaving as leader of

the National Party and Judith Collins has now been announced as the new leader. Do you think this was all part of the plan? Because Todd came on and everyone was like, who's Todd Muller? No one knew who he was. You reckon Judith was sitting back and just waiting to see what happens? Or if it was the grand plan of the party. Because remember

this is about the same time, same length of time until the election where Labour switched out Little for Jacinda. So maybe it was the tactic. We've got Judith after 8 o'clock, we'll ask her. Conspiracy theory. There was a very long meeting to decide yesterday. Too late. What time did it

knock off? About 9.30? 10 o'clock? It seemed like a very long one. I guess they were sort of locked in the room until they made a decision. If I was in the National Party, I'd be like, oh, late Tuesday night meeting. They all want to have to fly there as well, get a last minute flight. It's going to be a nightmare, guys. You know what New Zealand's like. They're trying to make money back.

They're going to be charging through the roof for these last minute flights. Can you Zoom me in? Oh, OK. I guess I'll be there. Can you Zoom me in? Can we just all do it by Zoom? They could have. Well, do an Instagram story poll or something,

who you want later. I was just like, yeah, tap once for Judith, tap two for Simon Bridges. Well, at least you're ordering some food in. Well, it must have been a long meeting because afterwards, Judith Collins wanted to go get something. Do we have that audio, Producer Juliet? It might be time for a drink.

What do you think, T? That's what she wanted to do. She wanted to get on it. Good old New Zealander. Have a bit of a binge. I love that. Tuesday night binge. Yeah, I'll have a drink.

Good on you, Judith. Yeah, look, it'll be exciting to talk to her after 8 o'clock. I've never spoken to her before, so yeah. She looks terrifying, doesn't she? She has got that persona as well, but then you've got lots of stuff. She looks lovely as well, and a lot of other stuff. I think if you get on the wrong side of her, you'll get told off. But if not, I think she's lovely. She looks like one of your friend's mums that. I think if you get on the wrong side of her, you'll get told off. But if not, I think she's lovely.

She looks like one of your friend's mums that you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of. But if you had her respect, you had her respect for life. You're right, Ben. So let's try and earn her respect today, OK? Don't you mess this up for me. If I don't have the respect of Judith Collins by the end of this interview, I'm pinning it all on you. And also in other news from the last 24 hours. So in New Zealand there was

Antikawiri. A lady played a lotto as she normally does and she put the numbers, some of her favourite numbers in one line and then she'd forgotten that she'd put them in and she put the same numbers in again so she had double the same numbers and she won twice. Won over a million dollars basically doubling

what she would have originally won with the one ticket. She won $500,000 extra dollars just from a mistake that ended up getting her $500,000. When you play lotto, do you pick your own numbers? No, the few times I do play lotto, I just get lucky, lucky day. Yeah. I know my mother-in-law,

she's had the same numbers for 20, 30 years. And never won? Never won. No, but you get those people who stick with their numbers. You know, it's like your kid's birthdays and your first house address. Sentimental things. It's never paid off for it. But then one day you hope it will, right?

You've just got to keep going with it. Yeah. Do you play lotto, Producer Junior? No, I don't. I don't even know how it works. I'm quite embarrassed to say that. Well, you go to the dairy, you buy a ticket, and you wait to see if you... I don't think I...

And you pretty much lose every time. Sounds wonderful. Yeah, then you take it back and it's just not a winning ticket. Sometimes you get a bonus ticket. They're a bit annoying, to be honest. And that's Lotto. That's Lotto. I'll stay away from that then, probably.

Remember, we told you we got hypnotised by Lotto? No. That's right. Yeah, we had to do some ad for Lotto. We won Lotto and hypnotised. And John, you said you'd share the money with me. Yeah, no, we had to do some ad for Lotto. Like, that we won Lotto and hypnotised. And John, you said you'd share the money with me. Yeah, I said I'd share the money, but then I was also like, I didn't think I was hypnotised

to be honest. Oh, really? I was playing along, because I was like, well, I want to get paid for this. So I'll just pretend to be hypnotised. So don't tell Lotto that. Well, you have. Well, they paid me anyway, so it's fine. That is what has been happening,

scrolling through your feed over the last 24 hours. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy, the WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. Sounded like you wanted to say more there, Ben. What else did you have there, buddy?

I hit the button too early. Producer Juliet really wants to get to her spy, so we've got to get there. Yeah, this is Spy where Producer Juju panics searches celebrity stories on the internet and we fumble our way around the topics. That's exactly how it rolls. Can we get into it quickly? And that's what I like about this segment. No mucking around. He was about

to say the greatest thing ever said on commercial radio. What were you going to say? I'm curious. I just thought it was actually very interesting what you were just saying before. Because we've got Judith Collins joining us after eight o'clock on the show. Now, she's the new leader of the National Party and you were saying about the political reporter on News Hub. Oh, yeah, Jenna Lynch was watching News Hub last night

and she was in the studio with the wonderful Mike McRoberts and he was interviewing her and she's like, I was sitting at a batch this morning with my boyfriend and then I started getting texts from Tova O'Brien, the other Newshub political reporter. And so she had to come back from day one of her holiday. Holiday over. Because of Judith Collins. Yeah.

And surely her first question she'll ask is like, could you have left this for another week or so so I could have got my annual leave in? Annual leave, yeah. But anyway, that was probably not worth what we stopped at. That's what I was going to talk about anyway. So let's do some spy. All right. Alanis Morissette. You'll know her from this song, obviously.

So the song Ironic. So when she released it, she's recently said that when she released it, she was worried she was going to be viewed as stupid or uneducated because some of the lyrics don't actually match the definition of irony and she thought she was going to get absolutely roasted by everyone. Is it ironic that she's left it so long to explain this? Yeah. Probably.

I don't know. What is it? 2009? Is that right? Is that when it came out? I think it came out in the 90s. Oh yeah, sorry. 1996. 95, yeah. She made $45 million off that song. Wow. That yeah, sorry. 1996, 95. Yeah, 95, 96. Yeah. She made $45 million off that song. Wow.

That album, Jagged Little Pill. She didn't want to actually release it at first because she was like, I'm not a fan of it. The lyrics don't, you know, really work.

And then they were like, nah, you should release it. And then she's probably quite glad she did, isn't she? James Corden and her did a wonderful sketch and he had written

the version of it now was 2020 and how technology's changed. And no smoking sign when you brought your vape. It's 10,000 male late night hosts when all you want is just

one woman, seriously. Singing the duet of your dreams and then Alanis Morissette shouting at you. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think? A little too ironic. And yeah, I really do think. It's like a ghost.

Very funny. Yeah. Very funny. We played a lot of that there. We did. You should go and visit it on the internet. It's a great place, the internet. The internet is a great place.

It's a horrible place as well, too. It's probably more horrible than it is great, to be honest, the internet. I think we're using it for everything that they didn't want the internet to be used for. It could have been a great place. It could have, yeah. True. But then you started sending me news and it's all snowballed from there. Oh, wonderful, wonderful internet.

And Zac Efron, so after he was spotted quarantining basically in Byron Bay, he said on his new Netflix series that Hollywood is just not a place to live a happy life and he's not really keen to live there anymore. So everyone's like, oh, are you going to come down under? Are you going to live in Australia? Come to New Zealand? Well, I think he should come to New Zealand. Come to New Zealand, Zac Efron.

We interviewed him in Byron Bay, wasn't it, Jono? In Australia for Baywatch. Did you? He did publicity for Baywatch and we went over to Australia for a day and interviewed him there on the beach. I don't know how I felt about that.

I don't think he... Yeah. Because he was obviously really ripped for the movie and we were like, oh, mate, you looked amazing. He goes, yeah, to be honest, that was hard work.

Yeah. Because obviously not only the working out but he couldn't eat anything. He was like... No carbs. He seemed pretty miserable the fact that he had to...

Oh. What he had to put his body through to look amazing. But yeah. I don't think he liked us, Zac Efron. Oh, really? Did you? I walked away going, I don't know if we won Zac Efron over.

Well, it's probably, you've got four minutes, you sit down and you start, you know, throwing jokes and you probably sit there going, what are these guys about? You know, trying to work it out. But he's not the, you know, a lot of people don't like us, Ben. Have you seen the internet?

Yeah, I tried. It's a wonderful place It can be a good place It can be a bad place For more spy Head to thehits.co.nz Want more Jono and Ben You can catch up

With the boys anytime Just search Jono and Ben On Facebook Boy is it going to be A good day We want to know right now When I win 100 of the hits This is the way

We've decided To end the show And we can guarantee It's 100% going to be A good day after you hear this, and if it's not, well, then you can pin the blame squarely on Benjamin Ross-Boyce, who will repair the situation with non-traceable cash payments, won't you? Yeah, it's going to be a good day for me because I just went, I whipped off.

I had time. I bought a coffee and, like, a five-minute song ad break came back. But the good thing for me was, you know when you swipe your card, your EFBOS card swipes it the right way. First time. That never happens. That never happens. I was like, oh, it's going to be a good day today. I always find myself trying to do pay wave

and then you look down and then the machine clearly says no pay wave. How many times has that happened? You feel like an absolute schmuck and then they're like, no pay wave. Read the sign, numbnuts. Well, that's not a positive thing to focus on, is it? No. That's not what this is about.

No, it's about positive things. Why is it going to be a good day for you? It's going to be a good day for us today. We're going to go and film a commercial for the show. Yeah, looking forward to that. Get some marketing out there in the market. Yeah, that's what we need for the show, some marketing. I tried to release your intimate video.

That got no traction, did it? I know. I was a little disappointed about that. The one-man love story. The lighting was bad. It was the lighting and that was my bad. Too much lighting, I think, was the problem. I could see too much.

Let's go to the phones. Ashley, welcome. Why is it going to be a good day in Wellington? I've just resigned from my job and I'm going for a new position. Got a new job lined up for me. Yeah, you do. Leave one, start another. Is that how he treats his relationships?

I don't know. I don't care. But he's got a new job. Well done, Ashley. You go and have a great day. That's got a new job. Well done, Ashley. You go and have a great day. That's awesome. Thank you. Well done.

Well done. San from Mochiwaka, welcome. Why is it going to be a good day for you, San? San? San! Oh, don't get angry. Don't get angry.

It's not the time to get angry. I'm just getting messages that it's San's payday today. It's always a good day when you get pay, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It's a nice feeling, isn't it? Yeah.

Big show tomorrow coming up. Ursula Carlson, comedian, is breaking international waves. Is that even a saying? I don't know. She's breaking the waves. She's got a Netflix special that's going all around the world. She'll fill us in on that tomorrow. But you have yourself a great day for a Wednesday,

and we'll catch you tomorrow from 6 o'clock, same time, same place. We'll see you there on The Hits. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app.