Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - July 17 - Anne-Marie, The A To Z Of New Zealand, What Have You Not Done In A Very Long Time?

Episode Date: July 16, 2020

Happy Friday friends! Jono brought back three way calling (does anyone remember that!?) and tested it out on Ben's wife Amanda... HILARIOUS. We also got to chat with singer Anne Marie as well as NZ Olympian Valerie Adams. And Ben's daughters proved they are the future of journalism - he played some adorable audio of them doing the news. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Ben, welcome back to another podcast. Wonderful to see you here. Yeah, I've been here all day, but it's nice to see you here as well. I feel like it's a new day every time we do a podcast intro. Well, I guess we are introducing the podcast to a brand new audience, so here you go. I mean, we've been battling away at the coalface all day. Getting our hands mucky, haven't we?

You always make it sound like it's a tough job. It is. It's God's work. I've said it before and I'll double down on it. Oh, God. We are doing God's work. Hey, we've got a... Oh, sorry.

You're still going? You're going. Yeah, I'm still going. I'm still going. If I put a glass of water in front of Ben, he would turn that into wine. You're still going. If I took Ben to the beach, he would walk on that water. Okay.

Ben would wash a prostitute's feet. Okay, all right. That's why Jesus was a feet washer. Did you know that? Was he? Yeah, it was his thing. It was a sign of going, hey, I care for you. So he'd go find a prostitute who frowned upon in those days.

Right. And be like, hey, I'm not above washing your feet. Okay, that's nice. What if the prostitute was like, I already have pretty clean feet. It's a weird guy. He's like, it's my thing, so I'm going to do it anyway. It's a weird guy with a foot washing fetish. Yeah. I'd like to it's my thing, so I'm going to do it anyway. It's a weird guy with a foot washing fetish.

I'd like to do this for you. Okay. You've got to pay me? Anyway, enough about that. Let's get into the podcast today. Really fun show for you today. Dame Valerie Adams joins us. She's an awesome person.

Olympian, also got a really cool thing going with Barbie. That's worldwide, so it's really cool. Yeah. And also Anne-Marie. Famous musician Anne-Marie who sings, Ooh, I got 99 problems singing ba-ba-ba. And she also sings F-R-I-E-N-D-S. You spell friends.

She also sings rockabye. She's got a new single out she talks talks about she's lots of fun, actually. You won't believe what her granddad does every day, like about 80 times. So enjoy the podcast. Here we go. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. This is very exciting.

You'll know her from her smash hits like 2002, the song Rockabye, Friends with Marshmello. She's quickly grown to become one of the globe's most loved and successful music exports. She's got a brand new single out today. It's called To Be Young featuring Doja Cat. And she joins us over Zoom, Anne-Marie. Hello. Hello.

Oh, wow, we'reMarie. Hello. Hello. Oh, wow, we're Zooming. Yeah. I know, the future. What are you looking at right now? I'm looking at the screen. Oh, that makes sense. That would be good.

It'd be weird if you're looking off outside a window or something, but disengaged from the Zoom meeting. Now, you've been to New Zealand, where we're from, a couple of times. And last time you were here, you got a tattoo and you tattooed someone else. And did you spell something wrong on the tattoo? Yeah, I did, but never mind. Anyway. Okay, let's not talk about that.

Never mind, you don't have to see it. No, I actually feel so bad about that. But it's a good memory, you know. You've always got to just see the positives. Yeah. What are the positives? Oh, there's a tattoo from Anne-Marie, international pop star from someone. Yeah.

It's wrong, but it's great. Please don't tell me you spelt your own name wrong on them or something. No, I didn't. I said, so basically she said to you or something like that. And so she said to write to you. So it was something like that. And she said to write to you so I it was something like that and I wrote the number two and she was like no that's not what I meant

but here we are it's all fun memories isn't it yeah just ruined her life hey now I didn't realise this about you. Three times karate champion. Yeah.

Yes. World karate champion. Yeah, I know. It's amazing. Yeah. What? I'm f***ed with me. I'm taking it.

Oh, well, funny you say, because that's what I was just about to do. I actually heard a story that you said you punched your mate Ed Sheeran in the arm because he didn't believe that you could hit hard, and he had a bruise that came up for quite a bit. Well, to be fair, he does bruise like a peach, so I can't take all of that. A bruisey complexion, doesn't he, Ed Sheeran? Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah, he does. But he didn't believe me, and I did it one day, and he never asked me again. Didn't he get sliced in the face too? Why is he doing this to himself? By a sword or something? I know. Basically, he just needs to be wrapped in cotton wool

and just kept away from him. Tell me, is this a stereotype about karate that you can all chop wood? Because my son Oscar, all he wanted to do was karate and then I took him to his first class and it was just them air punching for about an hour. And he's like, where's the wood chopping? That was his major concern.

So can you chop wood? I've definitely tried and I've done it, but I didn't learn it in karate. So, I mean, there's definitely styles that do do that, but Shotokan, which is what I did, I didn't do that. It feels like quite an unnecessary thing to do to yourself. It does. Yeah, like what?

What is that? We've got Anne-Marie with us right now. Her single's out today. We're going to play it for you very shortly. Anne-Marie, your granddad drinks a lot of cups of tea, I understand. Yeah, honestly, right? He doesn't drink anything else apart from cups of tea

all day long, like one after the other. So how many a day? Let's say he drinks like one every half an hour. Oh, my God. So what, is he like 80, 90 cups of tea a day sort of thing? Yes. Wow.

Jeez, he must be quite leaky. I know. To be honest, I don't know where it goes because I don't see him go to the toilet a lot, so I don't know. He doesn't drink anything else. No water. No water, no nothing. Now, Anne-Marie, I went to your concert.

I took my daughter along in New Zealand. She's a massive fan when you were here last time, and I got her to ask you a question right now. Are you all right if I play that to you? Yeah. Hi, Anne-Marie, I'm Indy, and you're my favourite singer. Two questions. One, what's Marie. I'm Indy, and you're my favourite singer. Two questions. One, what's your favourite song out of yours?

And two, do you want to come and play at my birthday party in December? It's a sleepover, but you don't have to stay. You don't have to stay, but you're welcome to go to the sleepover. And you are a monster if you say no. Listen, if I can fly by then, I will be there. Thank God COVID gets you out of that, baby. Yeah, they're locked down. They're locked down.

Unfortunately. No, I understand. First question. First question. What's your favourite song out of yours? Oh, this is hard. I think it's probably Friends. Good song.

It helped me spell the word Friends too, which is quite good. You spell it in there, so it's good. It's handy. It's basically a teaching session as well. Because he was going E before I, and I was like, mate. No. Yeah. So thank you, Anne-Marie Marshmallow.

Now, we'd like to play a game with musicians to see how well you know your own music, Anne-Marie. So what we're going to do, this is called Hold On A Second, and we're going to play you a second of one of your songs, and you have to figure out which one it is. All right. All right. 2002.

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Yeah. How did you get that? Even over Zoom audio, you got that. Amazing. All right, let's do another one. Friends.

Yeah. Basically, I'm just proving how obsessed I am with myself. Yeah, true. And one more. Let's go one more. Rockabye. Oh, my God. Three from three.

The other side of the world. Sloppy internet connection. She nails it. Hey Anne-Marie, this has been very fun. Light hanging out with you. We should do it again. I'll keep your email. I'll keep your email.

I'll send you many Zoom invites. You can pop into some of our work meetings. You're awesome. You're a lot of fun. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating, still pending. It's Jono and Mano Mahez. Now, Producer Juliette, you're a millennial.

Yes. And I was just talking off air about three-way calling that we had back in the day, or back in my day when communications began. It was, the preferred method was carrier pigeon that we used, didn't we? And then it sort of moved on to Morse code. Morse code was a good one, wasn't it?

Yeah. So there was a period there. Fax machine. Now that changed the game. I remember fax machines. You remember them? Yeah, very vaguely. Very vaguely.

Some people are still operating fax machines. We talked to actor Kimberly Crossman the other day. She said it's in Hollywood they're still using them. They fax scripts and things like that and contracts. Between agencies which seems like an unusual form for Hollywood to be gum. Anyway. No one tell Hollywood about email. All I remember about the fax

was my dad just getting like uncontrollably stressed out. Like the phone would ring but there would be a slightly different ring for a fax and then I'd go to answer and he'd be like, no! It's a fax! Oh and if you picked up that fax and then I'd go to answer and he'd be like, no, it's a fax! Oh, and if you picked up that fax, oh my gosh. Because I think it meant he had to go back

to the person to get the ring. It was a rigmarole. It was the cause of many arguments in the prior household, but we had a period there where Telegram, previous Spark, would offer extra services on your phone line so you could pay a bit extra for like call waiting.

So if you're on a call and someone else phones through, you would hang up and then they'd be on the other line. You could hang up again, go back to the other person. And there was also another function. I managed to convince John and Annie Pryor that we needed three-way calling. So, you know, you could talk to more than one person. So you could have a conversation with me

and Producer Juliet could listen in. She'd be part of that. Yeah, I could tap you in. Or you could actually all talk to more than one person. So you could have a conversation with me and Producer Juliet could listen in. She'd be part of that. Yeah, I could tap you in. Or you could actually all talk to each other, right? Yeah, but then what had happened was I sort of slowly over a period of time acquired a certain set of skills that made me sort of a prepubescent undercover agent. Oh, really?

So if there were any concerns in the playground, oh, Tiffany McCondrick thinks that Gavin McStiltonson is three-way two-timing with Jehanson Scalantin. Please don't make up names on this one. I'm no good at making up names on this one.

Then she would call me. So Tiffany would call me and be like, hey, you call Gavin and we'll see if he's... Oh, so you'd have to do the dirty work. I would do the dirty work. So I'd phone up Gavin and be like, hey, Gavin. He and be like, hey, you call Gavin, and we'll see if he's... Oh, so you'd have to do the dirty work. I would do the dirty work. So I'd phone up Gavin, I'd be like, hey, Gavin. He'd be like, hey, why are you calling? No reason.

How's your relationship with Johansson's content? And then he would eventually come clean. Oh, he revealed to you, Lee. But the whole time, Tiffany was listening on the other line, and she would come in, I'd back off and that's how I acquired the name The Heartbreak Kid. Right. Who called you The Heartbreak Kid? It was a brand. It was a brand around the playground. I'd walk in and they'd be like,

there goes The Heartbreak Kid. If you need him to sort out anything he'll sort it out. It was my thing. I had cards and everything. So what, there's anything going on that you wanted information on in your relationship? You were the guy. I was the guy to come to. Alright. Through a conversation, you would manage the guy to go to. I was the guy to come to. All right. Through a conversation, you would manage to get the information out.

I would extract the information. From like zero to 100 from a random call, they're like, oh yeah, but then they'd spill their deepest, darkest secrets to you. Oh, I mean, questions, kids ask less questions, don't they? They're just more open and honest kids. So I can sort something out in your life right now.

I'll see if I've still got the skills to do it. Because, you know, you can sit there in silence and I can phone. I'll call Amanda, my wife. Yeah, I'll call Amanda, your wife. Is there anything you want to know? Oh, let's not go

with the cheating angle. That's probably, I don't want to find out anything on the radio. It might be too dark for this Funlight Radio program. Actually, there is. I,

this is a bane of contention, a bane of contention in the household because I have some cartoon figurines that were in the shelf in the lounge. Some Disney characters, Simpsons, Deadpool, Woody from Toy Story. They're out there.

And they have been reduced to only a couple now. There used to be like dozens of them and they're gone. I'm sure I had more. She's like, no, no, you didn't. I know she's hidden them away, but she hasn't admitted to them. So yes, if you can get her to admit to that, because she hasn't admitted. I was like, I'm not stupid. Well, she's probably like, I'm not married admitted to them. So yes, if you can get her to admit to that because she hasn't admitted. I was like,

I'm not stupid. Well, she's probably like, I'm not married to a seven-year-old boy. I'll get rid of these things. They're a bad look. Well, yeah, well, okay. Well, this evening,

all right, heartbreak kid. I'll find. We've still got it. I'll find out where those figurines are, my friend. Thank you. Okay, and I'll do it next. Get her to admit to it

on the radio next. Okay. Jono just claimed before that he was known as the heartbreak kid when he was younger because he had a three-way calling function. He used to get information out of people over a phone call. Yeah, if anything was going on in the schoolyard, no one was being openly truthful about it, then I'd be sent in.

The person who was questioning it would be listening silently on the other line and I'd extract the information out of the third party. And Ben, I think we need to rebrand the show with The Heartbreak Kid and Ben. I think we'll remarket the programme. We'll take that up to the marketing department and do that after the show today because now I'm going to sort out a problem in your life. Yeah, I'm going to put you to the test because at home, my wife Amanda, I know that she's moved some of my cartoon figurines from the shelf in the lounge.

I know that. I'm not stupid. There wasines from the shelf in the lounge. I know that. I'm not stupid. There was a lot more there. There was a Deadpool one. There was a Woody from Toy Story. There was some Simpsons characters that have gone missing. How many did you have? There's quite a few now.

There's only like, there's a couple there now. She's like, that's all you had. I'm like, I know I had more. One by one, they're disappearing. Yeah, they're going. They're going. And I don't know where they are. I've looked for them.

I haven't been able to find them anywhere. But I know she's taken them. She's like, no, no. I think she donated them to the local kindergarten. But anyway. So if you can get her to admit that she's taken these figurines and put them somewhere, given them, that would be a real win for me. Well, the heartbreak kid makes no judgment.

Okay. It feels like you were quite judgy. This is purely business. Very judgy. No matter the case, I take it on professionally. You're not. That's really a bit what made me feel bad. So you need to sit back silently now.

Okay. I can't say anything. You can't say anything, and I'll go through to Amanda. Good morning. Amanda speaking. Oh, hi, Amanda. This is Jono here, how are you going mate? Oh good, hey man, good, are you alright? Yeah no, good, good, good, hey sorry this is non-radio related I was just phoning up

We were just needing some figurines for something that we're doing next week When I say it's non-radio related it's actually for a radio that we're doing next week. When I say it's non-radio related, it's actually for a radio thing we're doing. So it is radio related in a roundabout way. Okay. We were needing a bunch of cartoon figurines. Ben, he can't call you right now. He's just chatting with the chicks in accounts.

He goes up there, wants a show, and just likes to talk to them. He's like, hey, babes, how about you do the numbers on this? He does that sort of thing. See if you can balance these sheets. Anyway, I won't get into that. We even need...

What are you doing? And then he goes up to the sales team, and he's like, do you reckon you can sell this body? What are you doing? Do you reckon goes up to the sales team and he's like, do you reckon you can sell this body? What are you doing? Do you reckon you can sell the pants off these legs? Anyway, I won't get into that. Now's not the time. He's shocking around the office. Hansy.

Anyway, next week we're next week Next week we need some cartoon figurines for a thing we're doing on here. Did you have any? Because he said he had some but he's like you call her I'll go up and do my office flirting thing you call my wife do you know where the figurines are?

are there figurines in the house? he said he had some do you start at 9? there are a few figurines. They are the bane of my life. Yeah, well, because he said they were all on a shelf. Are all of them on that shelf? Most of them are on the shelf.

Some have accidentally fallen and the dog ate them. Boom, got a fish on. Catfish, come in, Ben. Come in, now you come in. I was here all along. I wasn't upstairs flirting. I was here all along. I wasn't upstairs flirting. I was here all along. He was listening to everything.

I heard that whole weird slander about me around the office. I sat through that. This is like to catch a predator with less predators. So the thing is, she knows she's hidden the figurines. She has. I thought you had. Oh, half of them are downstairs in the garage. Honey, you've just got too many.

It's ridiculous. I've been living at Disneyland. Yeah, honey, you're a grown man. You don't need cartoon figurines. Well, okay. It's hard to grow up. It's hard to grow up. He'll probably come home and go,

see if you can figurine this or something. Does that even make sense? No, no, it doesn't. All right, we got to the bottom of the mystery of the figurines. Thanks Amanda. Long winded. Some people skip breakfast, the meal and also this show. It's Jono

and Ben on the Hits. Now Olympian Dame Valerie Adams is with us in the studio right now. She's got a new Barbie doll out. She's teamed up with Barbie and as strange as it sounds Valerie, I'm actually holding you. I wish you were holding me but hey, we'll save that for another day. So this is a very cool thing that Barbie

are doing, an initiative around the world and you're the official role model here in New Zealand. Yeah, so I'm a 2020 She-Ro for this year and I'm very honoured and obviously quite excited about it. I've never had a Barbie growing up so I get to have my first Barbie as myself. So they've made a Barbie doll

version of you and it's awesome. Yeah I think she looks pretty cute I do like the freckles on it as you can if you look up closely you can see the freckles You've got freckles, you've got hoop earrings you've got even your training straps and everything as well. You're ready for shot put? I am pretty much and there is a shot put to go with it

and a duffel bag so it's quite well detailed. Do they come in to like take your meal, like mould your body in steaming hot plastic? Like melting, you're like, this is really inconvenient. I might not survive that. However, the whole design of this has been, I've been working really closely with them to make sure that all the details are quite legit. They've even got my tattoos.

Oh, they've got your tattoos as well. They've got my tattoo on the back here. Wow. So I thought that's pretty awesome. And even the ones on my ankles. Wow. Check it out. Double, double.

Oh, yeah, you're right. Yes. So the retention to detail is incredible. So this is something they're doing all over the world and you're the person they've chosen here in New Zealand. Yes. That's great. So I get to enjoy being the shero for 2020.

Obviously, the campaign that we're in is trying to empower girls around the world to be the best they can be and also, you know, let them know that they're worth it and we can give them the time to be amazing. That's really cool. What a fantastic campaign. Do you now just take that home to your family and they start playing with you? Is that how it works now? Let's just hope my daughter doesn't

break me in half first of all. Is she going to end up chewing that or something? Most probably. But it's something that like this will be her first Barbie which is awesome because she can see something that's in her likeness which for me is quite important. You've got the black hair and the

hoops and all the rest of it and also my skin tone so that's pretty awesome for her to see something that she looks like And you didn't have a Barbie growing up as well No, it was too expensive My parents couldn't afford it But I did know of Barbie Watching it on TV and all the ads and stuff However, I never got one growing up

But that's alright Well, that's fine Listen, I think you turned out alright Thank you I think you've clocked life You've done well I've done alright Yeah you are a mum and an Olympian

you train as well. How do you balance the two because it must be really hard. Yeah it is quite hard however I've got a great support network around me. My mother-in-law has been nothing but fantastic she looks after the kids while I'm away and also stays with us from Monday to Friday so that's been pretty awesome. I've got a one and two year old so as you guys know

I know parenthood is pretty intense, but I'm able to live my life and enjoy athletics and training and continue on my journey towards Tokyo. Do you ever mix the two roles up and accidentally end up shot putting the kids? Has that ever happened? No, but I did see you in a video

sort of lift your baby up and down. Yeah, I lift it. Yeah, it's like during summertime in the pool, I throw them around a lot. So they love me because I'm like the sea, so I'm like the mum that can throw them up in the air and catch them quite safely. They're like 20 metres up in the air.

Dave Valerie Adams with us, joining us in the studio. Got a new Barbie out today, which is a replica of her likeness. Amazing. Cool. Now, you spoke about the Olympics. Obviously, it's postponed by a year. How does that affect your training for that?

Let's just say this is my fifth Olympics and I'm a lot more mature than other athletes. So, I had to do a lot of digging. However, I've committed to this journey and I've committed to Tokyo 2020, which is going to be in 2021. Yeah, it's confusing.

And I have something that I'd like to pitch to you, Dame Valerie Adams, is the Zoom Olympics. We can't do it this year, so basically just pitch it all over the world. We've got athletes, they're ready to go, in their bubbles. I'm with you, I'm filming you.

I'm like, okay, you're ready for it? Yep, sure, put it here, we'll go. Okay, Dame Val's going to go. That's kind of quite an honesty system, though, isn't it? It is an honesty system, 100%. Oh, that was about, I don't know, 80-odd metres, I reckon. And then it's all based on honesty. All done at Zoom at the same time.

How honest is the world going to be? Come on, like, how honest are we going to be? Come on, 2012 wasn't the greatest experience for me. Oh, true, yeah. Now, you were made a Dame, which was an amazing honour. Is that, though, behind the scenes a bit of a shambles or having to change your driver's licence, your passport and all that sort of thing with your name?

I haven't done any of those things. Okay. But, you know, the only thing I think that has changed is my passport. However, no, nothing's changed as far as my legal documents, although it is my name, my government name now, or whatever, my legal name now. So on your customs declaration form,

are there enough squares to fill in Dame Valerie valerie adams you obviously don't travel too much because there are actually two lines like first name surname you know i've got criminal convictions don't let me travel overseas we can't focus on those we can't go to the us so let's not go there uh well dame valerie adams is with us she's got a Barbie doll out. Amazing initiative they're doing. Official role model for Barbie New Zealand this year. You must be like, Stephen, do you have a Barbie doll? Have you heard me text you? It'll be an ugly Barbie doll if you ask me.

Oh, your brother. I don't want to sound like a personal question right now. But go on. You're going to ask it anyway. Yeah, you were training and you were squatting an enormous amount of weight. How much can you actually squat when you're training? Over 200 kilos. Yes, but can I just remind people it is my job

to be strong. Yeah, well yeah. You're trained to get to there obviously, but it's incredible. Can I say that was such a shockingly personal question. How much do you squat? Oh, I've had worse. I wasn't meaning it to sound personal. I just didn't know it was okay to ask that. Could you teach me to squat him?

Sure. Yeah? Oh, what, to me? Yeah, I'll squat you. So you can put him on your back. You go on the back. Yeah, so tuck him on your back, across your back. Yep, jump.

They'll stand up. Oh, Jesus. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. There's your hips. There's your hips. There's your hips. Hey, do you want my hips? He's still here. Extend your hips. Extend it. There we go. Good job. Now go back down. Back up. Back up.

Go, go, go, go. He's not here. Do not leave your day job. Did you pull the muscle? Yeah. Did you ring up the physio? I think I blew something out of the back end there, LVL. Thank you very much for coming.

Thanks, guys. Yeah, she's wrapping it up. Thank you for coming. It was really nice to catch up. And congratulations again. Very cool. Thank you very much for coming. Thanks, guys. Yeah, she's wrapping it up. Thank you for coming. It was really nice to catch up, and congratulations again. Very cool. Thank you very much for having me. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them.

That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I've been meaning to mow my lawns for about five months, and I just haven't got around to it. And, you know, it's like now it's got to a length, it's such a length that you drive past that house and go, gee, that house has let itself go. One of those stages, right?

Much like the owner. Much like I've let myself go, the house has let itself go. Like it's so long and I don't see myself doing it. I can't be bothered doing it. I'm like, should we just let it grow over the size of the house? I lost the kids in there for two weeks. I don't know, I found them like foraging on an old football or something. They were just chewing

an old football. That's how they were surviving. It does get to that stage, eh, where you're like, oh, this is going to be quite hard to mow it. Well, you just leave your berm. Ben doesn't even touch it.

He waits, he just hopes that someone will come along and mow his berm. And they do. It's because people around you are like, this, ah, this guy.

I can't even say the word I was going to say. And they come and do the job. Or the council, don't they? I've got a very small bit of lawn at the front. I need a small bit. So it's really like, for all the effort, I was like, can't somebody else do it?

It's a wild forest in my backyard. If there are any missing persons, you might want to have a look for them in my backyard. I think MH370 might be hidden in there somewhere, if you have a good look for it. So five months, you reckon? Five months, probably. Wow.

Yeah. And it's weird, because you're always like, mate, just been over your house mowing your grass, and then I get over there and the lawns aren't cut. And so that's why I'm talking about this right now, Ben. I'd like you to explain that. Well, I don't want to talk about it. You say, I've been over your house mowing your grass.

I don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to confirm or deny that. Well, I don't want to talk about it. You say, I've been in your house mowing your grass. I don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to confirm or deny that. But let's throw it out there this morning. What have you not done for a long period of time? For me,

I was thinking about this morning. I don't know the last time I had a McDonald's burger. I couldn't think. It would be years. Years? Years? Years since I last had

a McDonald's burger. I probably had McDonald's for breakfast. McDonald's is part of the food pyramid. I'm not like I'm like anti, you know, like I'm just kind of like burger. I probably had McDonald's for breakfast. McDonald's is part of the food pyramid. I'm not like, I'm like anti, you know, like I'm just kind of like, oh, everything in moderation, things like that, I have burgers, but I just-

What's your moderation? Five to 10 years? Oh, treat myself to a Big Mac in 2027? Like I've had burgers. I've had plenty of burgers recently over the last few months, but I haven't, I was thinking today, as I drove past McDonald's on my way in, I was like, I can't remember the last time I had a McDonald's burger.

Can't remember. It'd be at least two years. No, he's got hummus running through his veins. He's got hummus running out of his eyeballs. I haven't been to a hair salon in... Yeah, well... It goes without saying. It does go without saying.

So, it's 4487. What have you not done in an incredibly long time? Juju, you got anything? Yeah, I haven't watched Netflix or any of those streaming sites for a very long time. Oh, really? I don't really watch much TV. No,, you got anything? Yeah, I haven't watched Netflix or any of those streaming sites for a very long time. Oh, really? I don't really watch much TV.

No, because every show we talk about, you're like, oh yeah, I'll get around to watching that. Oh yeah, I should get around to watching that. So what do you do?

I don't really know. I waste time on my phone. Right. I sometimes read. I'm boring. I'm really boring. I'm such a nana. And then,

but then I also live with a very entertaining bunch of friends and flatmates. So we just kind of yarn. We play knee rugby with a tiny little ball. We've got a foosball table. Oh, right. So you're quite active. Yes.

That's cool. I like that. But I just don't watch TV much. I don't go to the movies. I don't go to the movies. They're where his wine's been up. I haven't seen so many movies. I know.

I've seen a lot of trailers. I like watching movie trailers. You do like watching trailers. And the movies you have seen are ones that, you know, they're okay, but the movies have gone, they've got better and better. Or, you know, there's ones that have been nominated for Oscars and all that. You're like, I like Soul Plane. I do like Soul Plane when Snoop Dogg's the pilot.

You know, and he's probably, obviously workplace drug testing wasn't, at Soul Plane here wasn't a thing because he was freely just piloting a plane full of people while smoking weed at the same time, too, which is a controversial piloting decision. Yeah, well, what have you not done for a long period of time? I'd love to hear from you this morning. Producer Humphrey's got something he hasn't done in his house that will astound you next as well. 0800 THE HITS, 4487 on the text. What have you not done for a long period of time?

Producer Humphrey's in with us right now. What have you not done for a long period of time? Producer Humphrey's in with us right now. What have you not done for a long period of time? Well, I've actually never done it. And I've never used our en suite bathroom ever for anything. I've been in there. When we first moved into the house, I showed people the en suite. It's a bathroom I never use. My partner uses it.

It's got his and hers basins and it winds her up. What sort of palace are you living in? You've got an en-suite you don't even have to use. So what do you do? There's obviously another bathroom you go to. Yeah, because we get up so early. I leave the bedroom and go into the main bathroom. All my stuff's there.

And so, yeah, but it winds my partner up. The fact that we've got these his and her basins, she'd like to brush our teeth together. Like the movies. Like in the films. But no, and so I just refuse. And I just never. So you ever thought of just going in there

and just leaving a toothbrush in there so you can brush your teeth together, no? No, it's all in the other bathroom. It's inconvenient. It'd be like a movie with Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck, who've been, they're in a marriage, they've got some kids and they're like, oh, let's brush our teeth together.

Whoever brushes their teeth together. Oh yeah, people in like, oh, let's brush our teeth together. Whoever brushes their teeth together? Oh, yeah, people in the movies. Only people who brush their teeth simultaneously. Let's go to the phones. What have you not done in a very long time? Kate, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, babes. Hey. Sorry, weird way to start the convo. Yeah, it was a bit weird. What have you not done

in a long period of time? I haven't driven a car. I've had my licence for about 12 years, but I just didn't like it and gave up. Not for you? Okay. Not for me. How do you get around?

Do people drive you? Yeah, or I walk or I catch the bus. So, yeah, I haven't driven a car in a very long time. So how long would you say you haven't driven for? 12 years. She said 12 years. Oh, 12 years. Okay, sorry.

I didn't mean to say that. She just stipulated that. Oh, she didn't get 12 years. Oh, 12 years. Okay. Sorry, I didn't say that. She just stipulated that. Oh, she didn't get a licence. Okay, alright. Hey Kate, so how long has it been since your last drive? 12 years. 12, okay. I wrote a question for Kate. No, I won't answer that.

Love your work, Kate. Thank you for coming on the show and us half listening to you. Appreciate it. Thanks. 12 years? 12 years, yeah. It's quite a long time to not drive. Sometimes when I'm driving, I don't think driving's for me

because sometimes I make myself car sick driving. Really? Which is unheard of. You're quite erratic. I am quite erratic. I'm quite erratic on the roads. Ben doesn't like driving with me.

No patience. No patience. Yeah, no, he gets quite scared driving with me. He's like grabbing the side of his seat as he drives with me. We've got Liam on the phone. Long time not doing something? Yeah, no, he gets quite scared driving with me. He's like grabbing the side of his seat as he drives with me. We've got Liam on the phone. Long time not doing something?

Yeah, hey, guys. Yeah, my longest time, I think it's probably been about 15 years since I had a haircut. 15 years? What was the reason behind not cutting it for so long? When I was younger, I just always liked dreadlocks, so I thought I'll start growing when I was about 13 years old. And after a few years, kind of lived like a wee bit of a hippie, and they kind of just matted together.

So yeah, then they had dreadlocks from then and just looked after them a bit better. Oh, so hold on. So your dreadlocks, they weren't professionally manicured dreadlocks. They were just due to the fact that you hadn't brushed your hair, so they kind of just clumped together. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. That was the start. And then after a few years of having them as just mats, I got a wee bit tidied up just to make it a bit nicer for my partner.

And I understand you've just cut them off recently, our producers are telling us, and for a very lovely reason. Yeah, yeah. I just shaved my head in the weekend just for cancer. Recently lost my uncle to cancer. He was fighting it for 18 months. He never gave up and stuff. Yeah, just thought I'd see how much money I could raise

and thought it would be towards a good cause. Oh, good on you. Did you raise a bit of coin? Yeah, last time I looked I was over $5,500. That's amazing. How long were your dreadlocks after 15 years of not cutting your hair? They were down to my thumb. So, you know, sitting down and stuff, you'd sit on them quite a bit.

Could you pull it down back behind and under and then through your legs again and be like... Yep, yep, could do, could do. What a lovely initiative. And can I just say, Liam, on behalf of a man who has no hair, I'm talking about me, you know,

why do you have to have so much of it? Can't you just spare me one dreadlock? You know, the things like... I might be able to give you one,

you know, so you get a wee little wee like single rat's tail going on. Yeah, a rat's tail. I'll glue one, a single dreadlock to the back of my head

and look like, you know, something I could whip around you. Something from Mulan, a single dreadlock to the back of my head. And look like, you know, something I could whip around you. Something from Mulan, a character from Mulan or something. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now, there's school holidays all over the country.

Fact. Yeah, parents are having to deal with that. You know, how you entertain the kids, particularly on wet days. And my two daughters... I leave them out in the rain. Or in the car park at the casinos, my other great parenting tip there. But Sienna and Indy, my two daughters, yesterday, they were off in their room playing together.

And I was like, that's nice. I could hear some giggles and laughter and stuff going on. And I kind of went in there and I was like, what's going on? What are you playing? And I don't know if I was, you know, as someone who works in TV and radio, I don't know if I was proud or a little bit like, oh, this is the game you've chosen to play because they were playing newsreaders. They were playing News Hub.

They were playing News Hub as if it's like a childhood game. Oh, the old Kiwi classic that we all remember, playing News Hub. They'd written a script. They'd written some news. So what, Kiwi classic that we all remember playing News Hub. They'd written a script. They'd written some news. So what they were like Mike McRoberts and Samantha Hayes. Yeah, they were doing the news. And they're like,

yeah, I'm here and now the guys are strip reporting live from war-torn zones. And I recorded it. You know, I recorded it. I said, well, give us your bulletin. I'll record it and let's break it down.

Let's break down their bulletin. This is Sienna and everything. I mean, this doesn't become a surprise. You record everything in your household. So here we go. Kia ora, good evening. This is News Hub Live News. I'm Sienna and everything. I mean, this doesn't become a surprise. You record everything in your household. So here we go. Kia ora, good evening.

This is News Hub Live News. I'm Sienna Boyce. And I'm Indiana Boyce. So there's the start. There's the start. Now, firstly, I was like, well, great, but also I had to tell them I've now moved companies. I'm no longer with MediaWorks.

Maybe One News would have been a better choice, but anyway. It could have been Simon and Wendy. Yeah. But anyway, so they carried on. Leading the news, we have a school disco on Thursday. And in breaking news, there are no parents allowed. Hold on. Why is that leading the news?

We've got some stuff going on in the world at the moment. But they've gone with the school disco as the lead story? I guess it was important in their life. It was also leading the news and then breaking news. All of a sudden. It felt like the news was already being written. Breaking news. At that moment, they're going,

oh, and by the way, no parents. That was breaking news. What is this Wild West disco you're sending them to? A parent-free disco. In other news, I brought some roller skates at the mall. I wore them to school and fell on my bum, but it was fun.

Again, do they know we are in the midst of a pandemic? They've backed it up. That was the second story. The second big story on the bulletin was roller skates. And not even like school. School hasn't been going for almost two weeks. I mean, that story's not current. If that's the second story in the news bulletin,

that's about falling over at school a couple of weeks ago. And finally, we had a weather report. And in weather, it was really cold today. Brr. Vague. Brr. But with a sound effect as well. I mean, I'm proud of my girls and I love them, but I mean, you know.

Well, I don't know. You're savagely taking them down on the radio here. And I was like, oh, you know, they're doing a bulletin and they were having fun. But I was like, oh, you know, a little more information in the weather. My kids just play News Talk ZB. And I just walk into the room and I can just hear them brutally taking down Jacinda Ardern and her left-wing agenda. And then finally, the happiest news sign-off that you'll ever hear on the news. And that's News Hub News.

I'm Sienna. And I'm Indiana. Good night! Good night! Sloppy bulletin, girls. Sloppy. Sloppy. Got nothing out of it.

Be dying in the ratings. You would. I'd watch it. I'd probably watch it. You have to. You're contractually obliged to watch something like this. It's fun. It's news that you want to hear. Oh, that's interesting.

What, you want to hear news about a disco? Yeah, there's a disco. And roller skate accidents. Well, at the moment, definitely. I'll take that over. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. She's been in an intense gossip-fuelled labour

and ended up having a C-section. That's C standing for celebrity. Oh, my goodness. She's birthed out the spy bulletin. That is probably my favourite intro that you have given me. Reducer Juliette was fine.

So Billy Idol, a video has come out online and it's doing the rounds. So he was driving along in New York on his motorbike and saw a piano on the side of the road,

stopped off and... This is Billy Joel, side of the road. Oh, he's the piano man. This makes sense. This is good. Just needs tuning the road. Oh, he's the piano man. This makes sense. The lesson is good. Just needs tuning. It's a perfectly good piano.

It's a shame to throw it out. Who's he getting angry at? Just gruntled that someone was throwing out a piano. It's a perfectly good piano. What he didn't know, he was outside Elton John's house. I reckon it was quite nice in the article I was reading. It was like it's his first gig first live gig

since the pandemic for Billy Joel the piano man I love Billy Joel he's just like roaming around the streets doing the inorganic rubbish collection

just to see oh hold on here see what I can pick up it's a pretty cool way on his motorbike he's stopped off and played a little song imagine being the person

just filming it it's a one man show your own show with Billy Joel but then you get kind of yelled at like that's not my piano that's a one-man show. Yeah, true. Your own show with Billy Joel. But then you get kind of yelled at. That's not my piece. That's a perfectly good piano. Why are you throwing it out?

Like a boomer telling you off. Just it's churning. Exactly. And Kanye West, so he is in fact proceeding with his presidential race. There were reports that he dropped out. But no. He's in. He's in.

He's out. It's like a dinner date that he can't commit to. Exactly. So he's paid the $50,000 fee to appear on some of the ballots. Oh, he has. Wow. And he is going to be called the Birthday Party, shortened BDY Party.

And when he was asked why he chose that name, he said, because when we win, it's everybody's birthday. Oh, that's a good line. That's a really good line. That's a good line, isn't it? And the debates will just be rap battles now. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

He'll have some good on the spot thinking, isn't it? And the debates will just be rap battles now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He'll have some good on-the-spot thinking, won't he, during the debates? But I don't know if this indecisive behaviour is a trait that you need in a president. A guy who's in one day, he's out the next. Well, to be fair, I don't know if he actually said he was out. No. I think it was just like sources. Reporters. Yeah.

Oh, those sources. Yeah. They'll get you. I know. The mayonnaise and the sriracha every time. For more, spyheadtothehits.co.nz. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits.

Now, for the last week and a half, we've been looking for the world's best viral videos. It's voted by you, the best of the best, because we wanted to play it to a friend of the show, Barb, who listens, and she's never seen any viral videos. Yeah, next week we're going to do the worst of the worst videos, the darkest videos, stuff from the dark web that will play to Barb,

but we'll tackle that for Monday. And, yeah, thank you so much for all your votes. Thank you for collating the top five. Yesterday Barb came into the studios and Barb now joins us on the phone. Welcome, Barb. Morning, guys. Morning.

Lovely to see you face to face. Wonderful person, Barb. Oh, thank you. I had a great time. I mean, who wouldn't? Sitting on lounge chairs and entertained by three gorgeous guys. It was just really good. Oh, that was a lot of fun hanging out with you, Barb.

And thank you for the baking. We've got, like, marmalades and cookies and everything. Are you still alive? Have you tried them? Yeah, I was there at the conference. Why? Have you poisoned them or something? I was there at the conference. Why? Have you poisoned them or something? Well, what's the current referendum?

Barb's got some alternative marmalade she's selling on the market. That's why I've been seeing unicorns all morning. It makes a lot of sense now. Yesterday, we did sit down with a couple of lazy boys. We had a screen in front of us, and we played you some of these viral videos you've never seen for the first time. Here is a quick highlight of the top five that we played you.

Your top five gone viral videos. I was walking down the road and I saw a donkey. The wonky donkey Scottish laughing grandma. Oh, that one? Yeah, dude. That was a good one. Always blow on the pie. Safe communities together.

Always blow on the pie. Safe communities together. Always blow on the pie. That's it. That's still good, eh? What are you doing, bro? I'm beached as. Beached as bro. Too long. Too long?

Too long. Could have had one. Yeah, they could have had that. Oh, Charlie. Charlie bit my finger. Oh, you stupid kid. What do you reckon the question might be? Father's Day.

What about Father's Day? Father's Day is on Sunday. What day is Father's Day? I was aghast at that. What day is Father's Day Sunday, Barb? What? So they were the top five as voted by the listeners. And Barb, you weren't too happy with the beach stairs one.

No. Well, look, that is the epitome of why I don't watch those videos. Sometimes people will send me little ones like cats being stupid or something and yeah, I can watch them for 10 seconds and go, that was cool, now I'm over it. Yeah, this was Barb's instant feedback

after watching the Beach Dads whale video. Barb's shaking her head. Barb, you're not happy. Honest review. They're mocking us. Too long. Too long. Could have had one.

What would have been an appropriate time? A 15-seconder? And was it like a pelican? We don't have pelicans. I think it was a seagull. I was a seagull. I think it was a seagull. So I think the first, give it 30 seconds max,

and I'll end it with this one. You haven't seen any viral videos, but you're already acting like the internet generation. Too long! Barb wasn't happy it was too long. Sorry about the obnoxious popcorn eating dream. We could hear Ben chewing his popcorn and surround sound there.

I couldn't even hear that. That's fine. That's maybe the old age. So Barb, that was your least favourite. What was your favourite? The blowing on the pie was my favourite. She liked the blowing on the pie. The police officer always blow on the pie.

Three o'clock in the morning, you're blowing a pie from the BP station. What must you always do? That pie's been in the warming drawer for probably about 12 hours. It'll be thermonuclear. Always blow on the pie. Safe for communities together.

That's very good. Barbara, so we've been on this wonderful journey together. Have we turned you? Are you going to watch viral videos from this day forward? Well, only if you provide them for me. We're going to do like a six month sort of sit down. Here's what you've missed. So we have to

collate them and sit you down in our boardroom decorated again on Lazy Boys and present the six month's worth of internet videos to Barbara. Well, I was thinking the next school holidays would be fine. Okay. Okay. Just the three months, sort of thing.

Three month update. Three month internet. Okay. We'll take that upon ourselves, Barb. Lovely meeting you, Barbara. If you want to see the video, you can head online to the Hits Breakfast Facebook page. You have a wonderful weekend, Barb. Yes, you too, guys.

Thanks a lot. It was a lot of fun. It was great fun meeting you. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Kia ora. I'm Ash Thomas, and this is the B***ing News. This is where producer Juliette has got Ash Thomas,

our newsreader, to read news headlines that have actually happened in the world over the last couple of days. And we've beeped out some words, and Jono and I have to work out what those words originally were. All righty, your first news story. Crazed peacock put in bird prison after blocking

the doors of apartment and Ooh, a crazed peacock went into an apartment and blocked the doors. Okay, so I'm going to go first home buying crazed peacock put in bird prison after blocking the doors of apartment and not being able to get through

because of his giant flamboyant backside. Oh, that's quite good. They do like spreading out their back, don't they? I'm going to go blimmin' crazy peacock. I would have gone with a swear word, but I can't say that on radio. And I reckon it went into the apartment and flipped the bird.

Ming a bird. Very creative answers. Sex crazed peacock put in bird prison after blocking the doors of an apartment and terrorising residents. What? Nothing would be more frightening than a sex-crazed peacock. It created its love nest at the entrance of this apartment block and it attacked an old woman who tried to get into the apartment

because it's like, you can't stop me from, you know, impressing all these females with my big feathers. And so the bird just attacked all these people that tried to get in. Peacocks are so arrogant. They are. You would be too if you had that. Imagine you looking bald and then all of a sudden you had a wonderful

hair here. Halfway down my back. Like an Italian supermodel or something. You're like, ah, here I am. People are like, wow. It's like going to a party wearing a rubbish bag and then all of a sudden, next step, you're in a tuxedo or something.

A friend of ours got pinned down by a dolphin and it was diving. Really? Yeah. It's a common occurrence when diving. Dolphins can pin you to the ocean floor and really be quite a little bit. Wow.

Yeah, it happens. That happens. That'd be quite terrifying. Sex crazed dolphin. to the ocean floor and really quite a little bit wow that happens that happens that'd be quite terrifying a little bit sex crazed dolphin alright next story frustrated in lockdown

Iceland offers to release your s*** over land oh okay frustrated in lockdown Iceland threatens to release your

internet history over TikTok oh the Chinese government. I reckon they can release your family overnight. Get rid of that. Not quite. Frustrated in lockdown,

Iceland offers to release your screams over loudspeaker. So the way that it works is you can record your scream. I don't know, they'd be quite disturbing for all your family members. And then you send it to this, you put it to this website and these people play it over loudspeaker

in Iceland. But I don't know if that would really work because you don't get to hear it. You know what I mean? It's just playing out in the cities. No, it's in like

the vast empty areas. Oh, okay. So you have that effect of screaming to, you know, release any... Right, just to release the sort of tension

and frustration. Yeah. That seems like filler content, doesn't it? That seems like this whole radio show. And finally, the last story in News and Beeps. Pizza shop owner thwarts robbery by tossing... at suspect. Tossing grated cheese at suspect.

Salami, I'm going salami. That's what you want to toss, a big sort of roll of salami? Pizza shop owner thwarts robbery by tossing pizza at suspects. You'd have to fly it like a frisbee, wouldn't you? Yeah, you would. The person came in holding a blooming machete and he threw the pizza at him

and that's what made him run. Just a simple pizza. Won a battle against a machete. I suppose if you're going into it, you'd be pretty confident heading into a shop with a machete. You're like, no one's going to have a go at me. So I'd probably just throw you off your game,

wouldn't you? Just a little bit. Put you off the game plan a little bit. Hey, well done, Juliet. No worries. Use your beeps, another successful episode.

Thank you. Thank you. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Yesterday, our great drive show

here at the Hits, Stace, Mike and Anika, were talking about something that I... Why can't you be more like Stace, Mike and Anika? I wish I could be, hey. Yeah. I wish we were more like them. and Anika, were talking about something that I... Why can't you be more like Stace, Mike and Anika? I wish I could be, hey? Yeah.

I wish we were more like them. But anyway, they were talking about something that I found very interesting in relation to you, Jono. If you could go into battle with only the things tattooed on your body, would you survive? If I had to go into battle, I've got a lot of things tattooed on my body.

I've got... Oh, look, there's a lion. So I think you're pretty much sussed with that. I've got a tiger. Lion and tiger. She's already thought of it. But Stacey, you are up. I'm going in naked in the battle.

Are you going to smack them with your boobies? I just, I have nothing. So, yeah, what would you take in? Because, you know, I've got a few tattoos, but you've got a lot more than me. Well, to be honest, I think my tattoos need to have a battle with a laser tattoo removal machine. That should be the next battle.

But I think as far as battles go, you'd be well prepared. Listen, I'm well covered now. And the thing with them is you start with one, you're like, oh, now that looks uneven, so I'll get another one, another one. It's just a snowball effect. But what would you have? All of a sudden you're tattooing a a dragon fighting a serpent on your chest.

Well, you've got a tiger, you've got a serpent, a snake. They're involved in a grapple on my chest, the tiger and this. So that'd be great in a battle. You've got those animals. You've got a ship. They'd all be coming together on a ship, so they fight on the water. They fight on land. I've got my spider webs on my elbows.

I could fling those at your face. Yeah, you've got a dog wearing a hat. Yeah, he could come in. He could be there for morale. He's got to stop for a cigarette break every now and again. I've got my, on my back, I've got two panthers with wings. They could come flying in on top of the boat. It would be almost like a Game of Thrones-y style entrance

into war across the ocean. You'd do all right. And then I've just got a cute little butterfly down above my pubic region. Thronese-style entrance into war across the ocean. You'd do all right. Yeah. And then I've just got a cute little butterfly down above my pubic region. Get out of my face. The butterfly's flapping around. Just a distraction in battle. It'd be, you know, the butterfly would be quite good.

I choose my, like I don't have, I don't think much about them. I don't know if you can tell me. Yeah. I go in there and it's like I choose them in a rush. I'm like, what's the meaning behind that? You're like, I don't know. I saw it in the book in I go in there and it's like I choose them in a rush. I'm like, what's the meaning behind that? You're like, I don't know. I saw it in the book in there. I quite liked it.

Yeah, I liked it. I choose them like when I'm in the line at Subway and choosing my ingredients. I feel pressured from the next customer to just make it happen, go quickly, which maybe is not the best theory. No. When getting a tattoo which stays on your body for life. No, yeah, I think you'd do all right. I mean, I've got, you know. You've got some shambles on you, don't you?

I have. I've got a bit. You know, I've got a Pegasus and a Lion, which would go all right in battle. Flowers, not so much. Stuff on my kids. But I've got Lorde. Lorde's signature.

So how would she go in battle? Well, she could sing the theme song. And quite distracting again to have Lorde. You'd be like, is that Lorde? Is she here? And I've tattooed your backside before. Yeah, true. Badly.

In a commercial radio stunt. Not that we wouldn't do that sort of filth on this station. It was a previous life. It's a dark period of our lives, Ben. You could take my stick figure on your bottom into battle as well. Yeah. Oh, wonderful. Lots of fun. Yeah. If anyone knows of a good

laser removal after this conversation, sitting in this moment right now. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Scrolling through your feed. Yeah, these are the news stories that broke overnight. Nothing says up-to-date information like Jono and Ben talking about the hard-hitting topics.

Now, obviously this year, a lot of industries have been disrupted by COVID-19. We went into lockdown for eight weeks and the schooling system is no different. And now there's new guidelines that will let New Zealand students, NCEA, accredited,

basically credits, for helping out at home during COVID-19 lockdown. So this is causing quite a lot of controversy. But the NCEA is just trying to work out ways to, you know,

kind of recognise that eight week period. Oh, what, so handout points for stuff the kids were doing at home? Yeah, things like buying groceries. This is not a joke. This is legit.

Buying groceries for the family, working part-time, voluntary community work, identifying and managing stress. You basically have to prove that you did these things and you can get credited for it. How do you prove it? How do you prove you went to the supermarket? Yeah, I went to the supermarket. Did you?

Yeah, take my word for it. I went twice. Shopped for nine different households. Now that deserves NCEA credit. Shopping for multiple households. Oh, you did that, didn't you? I did that. Most stressful thing I've ever done in my life.

Because you're like, oh, you never know where to go. You know, when you're doing your own thing, you've got your systems. But then a whole other household comes up to you all over the supermarket. All over it. It'd be nice to be recognised,

maybe not for us being NCEA, because we're no longer at school, but if we got work credits for things that we did, like maybe putting pants on for a Zoom call, you got extra credits. Resisting the urge to drink before lunchtime. Thinking about exercising and then actually exercising. Not just going, I'll do that tomorrow.

Teaching your parents how to use Zoom. Yeah. I mean, that should be the most credits of them all. Producer Juliette, what did you learn over lockdown? Did you learn any new skills, Producer Juliette? Oh, I learned how to make dumplings. That was fun. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I made food quite a lot at home. That could be another point system. Dumpling credits? Yeah. You deserve that. You'd never done them before. Thank you. And also, in the last 24 hours of news,

now, Ursula Carlson, very funny lady, great comedian here in New Zealand. She's doing really well in Australia as well and there was rumours going around that she was going to take over, replace Lindsay Lohan, the actor, as a judge on a TV show in Australia, The Masked

Singer. And we had her on the show yesterday and we put this question to Ursula Carlson. I was reading yesterday there was rumours you might be taken over from Lindsay Lohan on a reality show. I mean, that's pretty cool to be mentioned all over Australian media. Oh yeah, I mean this is wild speculation and rumour.

I'm sitting in West Auckland at the moment and the borders are closed as far as I know. I mean, I could never take over for Lindsay Lohan. The wardrobe feels combust. I don't think we're the same bust size. And not but 24 hours later, Ben Boyce. What information? It's confirmed.

She's taking over. She blatantly lied to you? You asked the question. I did. She lied. The trust is gone. I can imagine. Can we believe anything this woman tells us from now on?

I can imagine she wasn't allowed to say anything, so that's why. He made that noise. When Juju said this morning, he's like... No, but in all seriousness, it's very, very cool that she's doing that. It's great. It's a great gig for her.

She's going so well. We spoke to her yesterday about her stand-up special being on Netflix, worldwide Netflix. Yeah. I'm still a bit up. Next time she comes back here, we'll be having some words. Yeah, she's too good for us now. You know that.

Scrolling through your feed. Basically, you don't need to scroll through your feed. We've done it for you. That's right. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand.

Finding every town and city in New Zealand. One a day. We're doing it for two and a half years. And thank you for joining us on this journey of discovery. We've learnt a lot about each other, haven't we, Ben? Yeah. Yeah. I think we do.

Have we? Yeah. Have we learnt a lot about each other? We've learnt a lot about New Zealand. Yeah. I've learned that you always go towns and places and then you're like, oh no, can I say that again? I want to say towns and cities. Because people go, oh, such and such is a place.

Graylands a place. And I'm like, oh no, it's not. You need to stipulate. It's towns and cities. The trolls will come and get you. But yesterday we phoned Clyde, which is in central Otago. Famous for our takeaways, our blue cod people are saying consistently

we're the best in the South Island. Blue cod, I reckon, is the best fish. It's thick and plump and juicy and gorgeous and ours comes from the Chatham Islands. Oh, there you go. Just like me, thick, plumpy and juicy. And today, where are we going, Jono?

We're heading to Coatesville today. Now, contrary to its name, Coatesville is not a town laden with a surplus of Coates, Ben. That is not to say there aren't any Coates in Coatesville, just probably not enough to justify naming the whole town

after a vast supply of Coates. No, that's fair enough. Coatesville is an effluent... Is it effluent or affluent? I think it's affluent. Effluent's waste, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, affluent rural community,

30km north-west of Auckland. The area was originally called Fernley until 1926 when it was renamed after Gordon Coates, the Prime Minister of New Zealand at the time. Okay. And let's head through to Coatsville now. Good morning, Coatesville. It's Andy speaking. G'day, Andy. It's Jono

and Ben here from the Hits. Mate, how are you? Not bad, not bad. We're phoning every town and city in New Zealand, and guess what, Ando? What? Coatesville's next on the list, buddy. Is it? Yep. Oh, okay. That's why we're calling you right now? Yep. What can you tell us about Coatesville? Oh, I don't know. That's why we're calling you right now? Yeah. What can you tell us about Coatesville?

Oh, I don't know. It's a little, you know, it's got a couple of cafes, a garage, you know, sort of like a couple of really good cafes, and then my workshop that's here, and then we've got a lovely old settler's hall with some lovely fields and grounds that people can walk and go around. The other thing is to maybe, you know, drive around and have a look at the mansions and all the other places here, because we've obviously got the old dot-com mansion,

which is now Fernie Lee Mansion. Oh, I was going to say. Yeah. Yeah, that was the Kim dot-com famous mansion. That was in Coatesville, right? Yeah, that is in Coatesville. It's now called Fernie, I think they called it Fernie Lee Mansion. It's the guys who own the toy company now.

Zero Toys. Zero, Zero Toy It's the guys who own the toy company now. Zero Toys. Zero Toy Company. Yeah, they own the mansion. I'm just looking at a Google image of the mansion. Yeah. It is obscene. It is.

It is very much so. It's a big piece of land. It was originally built by Crisco's. Oh, the Crisco hamper people. The guy, Richard, whatever his name was. And I think he had about a $30 or $40 million budget on it or something. Oh, just a cheeky $30, $40 million. Do you think he can work within the $30 to $40 million budget? I remember, actually, we used to have an old job

and we went out and filmed at the Kim.com mansion with Kim.com. Oh, you filmed out there, didn't you, Joe? That's right. And he had in his kitchen, I don't know if it's still in there now, had a fish tank which went from the floor to the roof. I'm sure it's probably still there. Yeah, the world's most exotic fish. I think there was a great white shark in his kitchen or something like that.

Yeah, maybe I was hoping that the Americans would jump in there where they're trying to get him. Yeah, that's true. It was like an evil supervillain's lair. I've seen his little, I saw his little area there because when the new people brought it, I saw where he was hiding. And it's quite funny, eh? It's like a little secret doorway.

It's quite, yeah. Well, he had a hideout house, did he? Yeah, he had a hideout house because that's where they originally had to try and find him, you know, because when they broke into the thing, he went into his little hideout. And, of course, they were going through and, you know, some of my customers that I had, you know, they were watching the helicopters fly over and bits and pieces and they wondered what was going on. So, yeah, it was quite interesting, actually. Well, hey, listen, we've learned a lot about Coatesville. Yeah.

As I say, it's not a bad place, you know. I mean, really, it's probably a destination for, you know, the cafes and stuff like that. And, you know, it is really just a lifestyle area. There's, you know, pony clubs and bits and pieces around and, yeah. Oh, listen, you have taught us a lot about Coatesville. You should be the official tourism spokesperson for Coatesville. Well, you know, I mean, when you

get here, when you've been here for a while, you sort of know a little bit about it, yeah. Lovely to talk with you, mate. We'll let you get back to work and you have a wonderful weekend. You too. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Bye. Julie, it comes spy.co.nz.

Juliet comes from a long line of gossip mongers. Been peddling gossip for centuries. I think it was your great-great-grandmother, wasn't she? She was dogging on Winston Churchill during the war. Yeah, very accurate. You're continuing on the family tradition. What's in Spy? Thank you.

So Charlie's there on. She terrified a restaurant valet with a rubber axe in her car after filming you. So Charlie's there on. She terrified a restaurant valet with a rubber axe in her car after filming a new movie she's working on. So for the movie called The Old Guard she had to learn how to wield one and her director just said just keep the axe with you,

practice when you can. And so she turned up to this restaurant, had the axe in the back of her car. It was a rubber axe to be clear. And the valet picked up her car and was kind of like, why do you have an axe? And she was like, oh, my gosh, I'm sorry. It's rubber. It's for something I'm working on.

And the guy just absolutely freaked out initially. It's a serial killer plot I'm working on. Trying to get my numbers up. I just keep it handy when I need it. I like axes. I've got an axe at home. I'm probably not a safe pair of hands with an axe. No, I can imagine not.

Yeah, no, I quite like chopping wood. Yeah. It's quite good. You can just never take your eye off it. You just keep looking at the direct place where you want to hit. Otherwise, you end up cutting off toes. You don't have a fire, though.

No, when I did. I still just chop wood now. For fun. Chopping down people's fences. Chopping down trees. Yeah, throwing the axe into cars and things like that. I just like swinging the axe now. For fun. Chopping down people's fences. Chopping down trees. Yeah, throwing the axe into cars and things like that. I just like swinging the axe around. Fair enough.

It's a wee hobby that you get up to. I'm always worried that the head's going to come flying off. You know when you swing it back? It's quite heavy, isn't it? They're quite heavy, aren't they? Yeah, it all depends, I guess, which one you use. Yeah, true. But yeah, no, axes are fun.

They're really fun. Kids, fun for the whole family. Axes. You can get a little acts for the kids, you know? Maybe not. Are you endorsing acts for children? Yeah, I feel like you are, and I'm going to say no to that. And in a more light-hearted

story, Carol Baskin, so she's been cashing in on Cameo, which is an app where you basically pay celebrities to film a video message for you. And her latest video, my gosh, it's a birthday shout-out to a fan. Hey, all you cool cats and gosh, it's a birthday shout out to a fan. Hey, all you cool cats and kittens. It's Carol Baskin and Howard Baskin

at Big Cat Rescue. And we are here with the Cripmates to wish Charlotte a happy birthday. Go Charlotte, it's your birthday. We're going to party like it's your birthday. We're going to sip Bacardi like it's your birthday. And you know we don't give a fudge that it's your birthday. We're going to sit Bacardi like it's your birthday. And you know we don't give a fudge that it's your birthday.

Oh dear God. I know. White people didn't need that. We did not need that. Wow. It's like my parents singing it. It's your birthday. We don't give a fudge, too.

It's a lovely little... Bacardi. It's your birthday. Not too much Bacardi, though, because you've got a big day tomorrow. Yeah. It's not your birthday, too much Bacardi though because you've got a big day tomorrow. Yeah. It's not your birthday but still a reasonable time into bed.

Oh my gosh. For more spy, head to the hits.co.nz. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're wrapping up our show and we like to do it on a positive note.

Yeah, we like to sprinkle some goodness powder in your coffee which sounds a little bit illegal, doesn't it? It does. Well, you're not looking when you're doing it. No. So why is it going to be a good day? Why are you going to have a good day today, Ben?

Oh, well, I think because at risk of sounding like I'm drinking the company Kool-Aid, we started a competition today. Live free of your food, petrol and power for an entire year. We got our first entry in just after 8 o' for an entire year. We got our first entry in just after 8 o'clock today for that. Janet was the first entry in. So that was good.

It felt good that we're doing something that could really change someone's life by giving them a whole year worth of stuff. Okay. Yeah.

How's it going up there, mate? What's that? In the boss's bottom. Oh, okay. Listen to this, Greaser. Why is it going to be a good day? Because of the station promo. Yeah, it's great. It's a great thing. It's a good thing. That's why it's going to be a good day? Because of the station promo. It's great.

It's a great thing. It's a good thing. That's why it's going to be a good day. I saw Boss Todd walking before us. I better give that another plug. Charlotte's with us. How are you in Wellington, Charlotte? Hey, I'm good.

Thank you. Lovely to hear from you. Why is it going to be a good day, Shaz? Hey, I've skipped work for half the day, and I'm going to go see this gorgeous little baby girl. Now I'm just outside their house now. Oh, you're going to go see babies, random babies. She's skipped half a day of work.

Let's hope the boss isn't listening and you have a wonderful baby meeting. Well, he's up north on a holiday, so I doubt he can hear this. Oh, good on you, Charlotte. You have a great weekend. We're going to give you a double pass to Reading Cinemas, all right?

Oh, awesome. Thank you. No, you have a great day. We're going to give you a double pass to Reading Cinemas, all right? Oh, awesome. Thank you. No, you have a great day. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back on Monday with Delta Goodrums. Joining us next week as well is Stan Walker. We'll see you then. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app.