Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - July 22 - The A To Z Of New Zealand, Jono's Weird Body Wash Combinations, Where Did Your Pet End Up?

Episode Date: July 22, 2020

We spoke to someone yesterday who has 19 nieces and nephews and wanted to see if anyone could beat that, and WE DIDN'T REALISE HOW BIG SOME FAMILIES COULD BE!! Our famous wonderful listener Barb came on the show again and told us how her car exploded... And Ben had an awkward encounter with a courier driver. Enjoy today's poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast Ben, it's lovely to see you today and you have a, you suit clothes. Can I just say that? Yeah, I'm not good without clothes, I don't suit not wearing clothes. No, but you pull off clothes and today you've got a magenta hoodie on. Is it magenta? I don't know, It's very bright.

A lot of bright days. Cold day out there. And I'll tell you what, speaking of clothing, coming back, because we park our cars after the radio show and then walk back, there was a guy out there, it's raining, there was a guy, t-shirt, shorts and jandals, standing on the corner of the road. I'm like, what are you doing? There are some people out there who just refuse to cover up the second half of their legs. Yeah.

All year round. There's probably listeners in the South Island who, you know, if anything, their shorts get shorter over wintertime. Just to prove a point that they can survive 12 months without any coverage on their legs. They're aware of pants. They've heard of pants, haven't they? They're popular. Maybe they haven't. Just so you know, if you're listening to this and you haven't heard of pants, they're a thing.

Yeah, they're a thing. You can wear them. They keep your legs warm. But some people choose not to. They're just like really long shorts. Except from your knees down, you just feel a little bit warmer. I can understand the professions. Like if you were a rugby player or something, you know, you want to run around on the field,

you know, you've got to wear shorts. Pants could be restricted. But a lot of other day-to-day wear, you can wear pants. It disturbs me when I see, there's a guy we work with, he's worn shorts. We've been filming the show every weekend. Oh, yeah. I'm like, put some pants on me. He's like, I don't do pants.

I wear shorts. Yeah. Lovely calves, though. Great calves. Wonderful calves. Those that do wear shorts all year round, you're right. Their sculpted calf muscles are just, they haven't skipped leg day. That's for sure.

Today on the show, we talked to someone who has 120 cousins. That is a lot. Like, I don't know if their family's heard of contraception. You know, we're talking about people who haven't heard of pants. Maybe we should send a link to about contraception to this family. Maybe they need pants. Just keep them up. Keep the pants on.

As well as that, we want to find out where your pets have gone to. The remarkable tales of pets ending up in other cities. That's on the podcast today. Enjoy. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We want to know, have you got the largest family? Yesterday we spoke to Sina,

and she was going to the birth of her 19th niece or nephew yesterday. Great numbers. Great statistics. So we're off to the birth of her 19th niece or nephew yesterday. Great numbers. Great statistics. So we're after the great statistics. You can finish the rest of the word. You know where I was heading. Thanks. Laura McGoldrick, host of the Pick Up 3pm Pick Up text through.

How many nieces and nephews? No, she's got 23 cousins. 23 cousins. Her dad is one of eight. Big line up. Yep. Okay, let's go to the phones. We've got a full board.

Big, big, big, big numbers, Benjamin Boyce. Amanda, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you, mate? Amanda, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you, mate? Hey, no, don't worry. You're all right. You're concentrating on getting to work.

That's the important part. I am. Just spotted a child. Didn't want to run it over. No, no, that's good. It's always good when you don't hit them. Yeah, it's good. So what's your impressive family number?

So I was just trying to do the math in my head because it's my husband's family, but I'm pretty sure we counted, I'm just doing the math in my head, it's about 26. So he's one of eight, and he's the baby. So his eldest niece is a year younger than me,

so she's one of my good friends. So her daughter is the same age as my daughter and they're actually second cousins so that's only the immediate nieces and nephews and then you've got all their children as well you've lost me in your web of nieces and nephews there

do you struggle to remember all their names and birthdays? oh birthdays no right off birthdays anniversaries no important dates they go out the window Struggle to remember all their names and birthdays? Oh, birthdays, no. I don't know. No, no. Right off birthdays. Anniversaries, no important dates. They go out the window.

Hey, Amanda, you keep driving to work and try not to hit people, okay? Have a lovely day. Yeah, will do. Thanks. Thank you for listening. Let's go to Mohammed, who is in Auckland. Welcome to the show, Mohammed. Biggest family, what have you got?

My dad's got nine brothers and seven sisters. He's the youngest out of 16. 16? Wow, that's impressive. Yeah, man, I don't even know how many cousins. And, oh, man, yeah. You can't even keep track of them. Now, your grandmother must have been pregnant or recovering from pregnancy for about 15 to 20 years.

I mean, she cred till about 85. She's cranking out babies till 85? No, I mean, she lived till 85. I mean, health-wise, she wasn't in bad shape. No, that is incredible. My granddad's still alive. He's coming up 95 at the moment. So he's still walking about.

Man, you guys have got powerful genes. I feel like I'm pregnant just talking to you through the phone. You're going to have a wonderful day, Mohamed. Look after yourself. Thanks for listening. Thanks, man. All right, see you. Appreciate it. This next number, Ben, you don't know what this next number is.

It's cousins. Diane, you're in Christchurch. How many cousins have you got? There's at least 40 of us in the family, 41 including my three brothers. No! 40! My mum was one of 10,

and my dad was one of four, and they produced a lot of kids, my aunties and uncles. Wow! They were active, Fit and healthy people. And trying to remember everyone's names and things is always difficult. I bet it is. I bet it is.

You'd be dreading Christmases and family. No one would want to host Christmas Day at their house. Imagine the clean-up on Christmas Day. Well, we didn't always get together like that, but my mum and dad were both the babies of their family, so my cousins were always quite a bit, you know, we were the youngest ones. That is incredible, Diane. You go and look after yourself today, and thanks so much for listening to the show. Appreciate it.

Text here, 4487. Just like that. My granddad had 24 children. He had a dozen to his first wife, and then he backed it up with another 12 with his second wife. 24 kids. Wow. And I'll finally take you out another 12 with his second wife. 24 kids. Wow. And I'll finally take you out on this on 4487 The Text.

I have 120 cousins on my dance side. Did you make that up? No, 120. Oh, my goodness. New Zealand, stop procreating. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, New Zealand is one of the few countries in the world

that are currently making movies, and so because that's happening, we thought we'd see if we could get a story from someone listening and make it into a movie trailer. Yeah. Yeah, that's the idea. It sounds like a fun idea. I'm a little nervous.

Do you want my honest opinion on this? A little nervous about doing a live movie trailer, Ben. Why's that? I think there's a reason that for decades Hollywood have pre-produced and carefully written and crafted their movie trailers and haven't just shoddily slapped them together live during a radio break.

But hey, who am I to say? We're about to find out if this is an absolute disaster because our old friend, not old friend, our friend, just our young friend, I didn't mean to mean old friend. Yeah, no, the friend that we've had for a while, you mean. Correct.'t mean to mean old friend. Yeah, I know. The friend that we've had for a while, you mean.

Correct. Barb on 0800. Welcome, Barb. I'm Marina, guys, and I don't mind being called old because I am in that baby boomer age group now. Oh, no, but you're... No, I didn't mean... I'm a young, sprightly Barb. Lovely to hear from you again.

How are you? Yeah, pretty good. Been chasing cows in the dark this morning. It always gets your adrenaline going. What, is that just a hobby of yours? No, the neighbour's calves are in our paddock, but they decided to come wandering up the drive with me when I was walking the dogs.

How do you herd cows? I imagine that's a mission. Well, when you've got a dog the size of mine, it's not too difficult. Oh, yeah, well, you still find those in your dog. Very big dog, yeah, that you a mission. Well, when you've got a dog the size of mine, it's not too difficult. Oh, yeah. Well, you still find those in your dog. Very big dog that you've got. Yeah, he's 65 kilos and 1.2 metres long just from head to bottom.

So he's about half the size of a cow. This sounds like a joke, but that is the exact same body weight as Ben Boyce, your dog is. Oh, my goodness. 65 kgs. So, Barb, you reckon you've got a story that would be good for a movie? What's the story about? as Ben Boyce, your dog is. Oh my goodness, 65 kgs. So Barb, you reckon you've got a story that would be good for a movie? What's the story about? Well, it's about,

it's one of those things across the ditch, you know how we have this, always have a rivalry across the ditch. Of Australia and New Zealand? Yes, Australia and New Zealand. And on a regular basis, because my sister married an Australian, we go to Aussie or they come here for rugby matches.

It's real enthusiastic, and my husband was a rugby referee. So on this night, I think it was a Bledisloe Cup night, we were coming home. We'd been to the old members' club, which is where the refs go after the game. It's about midnight, coming down the hill, and Ray, that's my brother-in-law, said, have you got your blinkers on?

And John said, no. Who's John? Oh, sorry, John's my dad. John's your dad? John's my dad, my husband. John's your husband, okay. John's your dad, husband? No, your husband.

I'm just talking about my dad. John's shooting daggers at me. John's driving the van. Jill is my sister, who's beside me. John's driving the van. Jill is my sister who's beside me. Ray's in the back seat. We're all in the back seat. And so we go down the hill and Ray said, I can still see flickering lights.

So I said, well, pull over and I'll have a look. So we go around the corner. John pulls over. I get out of the van. I look down and there is a stream of liquid fire pouring out of the bottom of the van. No. In the out of the van. I look down and there is a stream of liquid fire pouring out of the bottom of the van in the centre of the van, right where they're sitting and it's making this pool of fire as the fuel is spreading. So I yell at them, get out of the van, it's on fire. Oh my goodness.

It was really scary. Yeah. So I'm yanking the door open and getting them out of the van. Of course, seatbelts don't release in a hurry when you want them to, do they? So we whizzed up the road one way, couldn't get a cell phone connection, had to whizz past the van the other way, running, because we thought the van was going to explode, called the fire brigade. And when they arrived, they made us stand back and wait.

They said the fuel tank wasn't an issue because it was nearly empty. But what was the issue was the gas strut for the back door because the gas struts go like rockets. And he said, I won't let my men come into here until they've gone off. So we waited. And he was right. They were incredible when they went off. The tyres had exploded, no worries.

But these things went off like rockets, so fast and so high. I mean, look, 100 metres down the road, just bang, away they went. Oh, they had a fireworks display in the street. Jeez. That is an incredible story, Barb, and a hell of a front for the insurance fraud scam you pulled off too. Oh, yeah, well, I have to say that the van was on it.

It was getting there up there in years, let's say, but it did entertain a lot of the young hoons that come around our way to the burnout because they thought we were setting fire to the van for the fun of it. So there was a whole lot of cars there just cruising by watching the flames. Well, this is as close as New Zealand will get to Fast and Furious. Yeah, this is impressive. All right, so we're going to turn this into a movie trailer. We're going to give ourselves a song.

It's already a movie script. I can see it playing out. Yeah, okay, Barb. We're going to write a script. We'll email it to you. And back next live with a movie trailer. Now, this is either going to go tremendously well or depressingly bad. Those are the only two options here.

Yeah. It'll go well because I'm about West and that's the home of movies, isn't it? That's where they make a lot of movies. Barb's got the expertise and credibility in the movie game. We'll be back next with a live, on-the-spot movie trailer for Barb's story on the hips. We are in the middle of trying to turn a story

that we got from Barb, one of our listeners to the show, into a movie trailer. We gave ourselves that song to do it. We've written a script. We've got some sound effects and music, and we're going to try and put it together live. That's right. Barb joins us back.

A harrowing tale you told of an exploding van that you were a passenger in, Barb. We've sent you the script. You're not entirely happy with the script, I understand? No, I've changed it a wee bit because I thought we can just take a step up from the teenager level

to a wee bit more. So script problems, there's creative differences already. I knew the movie industry was going to be like that. I'd heard those stories. I didn't think it was going to happen so quickly. This is the harsh reality of it, Ben. Okay, so we're going to do a little... So you realise we had a song to write a script

and you're already changing it because you're not happy, Barb. Yeah, as well. And I haven't even negotiated pay. Oh, Jesus. Oh, it's okay. We'll be back after the next song when we negotiate Barb's salary. With her agent live on the radio.

All right, Barb, you've got your lines. We've got our lines. Juliet's got the music and sound effects. Okay. This is a movie trailer of Barb's harrowing tale. This is a true story. Based on a true story, right? Okay, here we go.

They were an ordinary couple with an extraordinary van. That's when you come in, Bob. That was a great rugby game, guys. I love it when we beat you out this way. But nothing could go wrong tonight on this journey home. Or so they thought. Hey, John, I forgot it's legs day. I never miss my legs day.

Can you just pull over and I'll do some squats and calf raises? Yeah, just on the side of the road. But what she didn't know Was calves weren't the only thing about to raise So was the temperature An action blockbuster 18, 9, 8, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, explosive explosions. Everybody run! Explosive catchphrases. That's one small step for Van, one giant leap for Van kind. And more explosive

catchphrases. You're a Van after my own heart. I'll say it with a bit more enthusiasm. Anyway. She's lacking performance. I'll say it with a bit more enthusiasm. She's lacking performance. I heard another pun. Explosive romance. Is it just me, John?

Or is it getting a little hot in here? Oh no, it is me and the man on fire. With explosive performances from Oh no, it is me and the man on fire. With explosive performances from... Barb. Starring alongside... John. Which is Barb's husband.

With an explosive supporting cast including... My sister Jill from Melbourne. Joined by... Jill's husband Ray, also from Melbourne. Like an exploding van, it's about to go off. Oh, no, I hope the insurance is going to cover this. Time waits for no van. Out now.

End scene. Oh, I think the while we go. If Sir Peter Jackson's this thing, you know... James Cameron's this thing. Yeah, give us a a call we can make that into a movie I used to work with Jane Boyan

a few years ago okay I love you Barb you go and have a great day yeah you too guys lovely to talk to you bye

she's such a good sport we apologise in advance it's Jono and Ben on the hits news just before in the bulletin at 7 o'clock Ash Thomas was saying

that the SPCA in Auckland are looking for the owners of a cat in Palmerston North that jumped underneath a truck and rode it all the way from Palmy to Auckland. Yeah. How many hours? Is it a five hour trip? It's a big trip. Yeah. And the cat's

fine. What a wild ride for that cat. It started off in Palmy and got into the truck and ended up cat's fine. What a wild ride for that cat. So it started off in Palmy, it got into the truck, it ended up in Auckland. That's a heck of a place for it to go. Cats always look, there's a photo of the cat there. Cats have a permanent look of just being startled the whole time. They're on edge. They're just ready to strike or pounce at any notice.

They're ready to go. Someone's always coming to get their cats. So we thought we'd throw it out there this morning. Where has your pet ended up? 0800 the hits is the phone number, 4487. I mean, I've got nothing quite as spectacular as that cat that's gone from Palmy to Auckland. I've got a dog that's ended up in creeks. He's dragged me into a creek walking along a boardwalk because he's fallen off.

He's ended up at the neighbours stealing a bra from their washing line. Still sticking with that story, are you? Consistency is the key, mate. He's ended up at the neighbours stealing a bra from their washing line. Still sticking with that story, eh? Yeah. Consistency's the key, mate. You keep it up. You ask Falloon about that. Oh, jeez. Okay.

All right. Anyway. So where has your pet ended up? We'd love to hear from you. Have you got a tale that can rival the cat that snuck away in a truck from Parmy to Auckland? Maybe a cat snuck into business class on a plane and flew to Los Angeles. Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

That's a bit out there. Let's welcome Alan from Christchurch to the show. Morena Alan. How are you? Oh, listen, we're doing really well, mate. Lovely to talk to you. Your pet ended up where? It wasn't our pet.

It was a cat around the area. It ended up under my mate's flatmate's bonnet. And he used to work at the yoga factory and he got to work and when he got there he could hear a cat meowing and he was like

wondering where that was coming from and he finally realised it was coming from underneath his bonnet. Under the bonnet? So what, it had crawled up

under the car and up through the motor sort of thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, somehow, you know, and the cat was fine. He put it in the car for the day

and brought it back. It was a friendly cat too, you know? So we don't know who it belonged to. Yeah, so he put it in the car for the day and brought it back. It was a friendly cat too, you know. So we don't know who it belonged to. Yeah, so he stuck it in the car for the day and when he got home, he just let it go. Wow.

And tell me about this yoga factory. What do they do there? It's closed up now, but they still do yoga. Oh, yoga. I thought it was like a factory of people doing Bikram yoga or something. Oh, sorry.

No, no, no, no. Yoga. They used to be on Carbon Road, I think it was. Oh, okay. I thought you had a very bendy, flexible friend who ran a yoga factory. Thank you very much, Alan. You have a wonderful day, mate. No problem.

Georgia and Lower Hutt, welcome to the show. Your pet ended up where, Georgie? Oh, fun story. Ended up at the fish and chip shop. In a deep cry. What's your pet? What's up here? What's up? No, my sweet little guinea pig was running around the lawn one day

and somehow got out. Still don't know how. But, yeah, a couple of days later, I was just getting my fish and chips and there she was, just kind of chilling out by the car park. Oh, so you didn't, you were just like, oh! I thought I'd lost you. Well, I mean, it was quite upsetting because I had that guinea pig for years and I was just, you know, it was quite upsetting.

I couldn't figure out how she got out. But then, you know, there she was, you know, a couple of blocks down the road at the local fish and chip shop. I guess she kind of knew that we go down every Friday, I guess. And it was a guinea pig. That is an incredible story. Could you tell if the guinea pig was happy to see you? I don't know.

Do they show much emotion, guinea pigs? Yeah, I like to think that she was. They look like cute rats, don't they, being guinea pigs? Rats, if you want to up your game, look like a guinea pig. You've got to be let into the house and patted a bit more and look a bit more like this guinea pig.

Hey, good on you, George. You go and have a wonderful day, eh? You too. And Catherine, we'll head out on you, New Zealand's breakfast. Welcome to it. It's lovely to have you. Where did your pet end up?

Hi, yeah. This was quite a few years ago. I was living in this one part of town where there was lots of quiet roads and stuff. When I went to head off to work one morning,

my cat was on top of the car and that was cool. I got him down and when I did a couple of things, put my stuff in the car and didn't realize he hopped back up on the roof of the car. And I drove the couple of streets around and there was this bump in the road, fortunately. And there was, went over this bump and I saw him slide down the front window. Oh shit. He was coming in on for dear life at the top.

So what? And um, so I jumped out of the car and grabbed him and drove back home again with him and um which was really good that there was this bump in the road because like two more turns and we would have been on Brom Street which is like a 60k

two lane road in cross check.. But some wonderful core strength from your cat to hold its position on the roof for that long as well. The balance for not put that cat on a surfboard. Yeah, yeah. A happy ending. Would have been a very dark ending

if you'd said it turned out any other way. Yeah. And we would have been awkwardly trying to get out of this piece right now and throwing to another pink song. Well, thankfully that was a happy cat story. Appreciate your calls this morning. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jodo and Ben on the hits. I've been banging on about the water shortage in Auckland for many, many months now.

Oh my God, he's back again. But you know what? I thought it was a good thing the water care people sent out. I don't know if you got these in your mailbox. They arrived at a little timer, a four minute timer for your shower. So it's like a little timer where the sand goes through. You put it on with a suction cap

on your shower and it's four minutes. And it's money well spent. I thought it was good. It was like to get people to stop using so much water. It was great. I'm very passionate.

I don't know why I'm so passionate about this, but I'm passionate about it. It's unusually passionate. I am. Are you finished your rant, mate? Yeah, I am. That don't know why I'm so passionate about this, but I'm passionate about it. It's unusually passionate. I am. Are you finished your rant, mate? Yeah, I am. That wasn't in the sheet.

He didn't tell us about that, did he? No, no. He didn't tell us about this because he knows we would have vetoed it pre-show. I just thought it was a good idea. There you go. Speaking of showers, actually, this is a lovely... Oh, now you want to talk about showers.

A lovely tie-in, Ben. Because I like to, as I've said before, I like to turn my shower on at night, go to bed and just have a running all night. You say that for me because it winds me up. Perfect temperature when I get into it first thing in the morning. But secretly, now this is a secret

that I'd like to share with you and please don't let this get back to Jennifer, my lovely lady partner. I've been secretly using all of her potions and lotions. Can you tell? Can you tell my flawless complexion? Yeah. Yes, that pimple you once had is now gone.

Yeah, thank you. I had a sniper dot in between my eyes last week. You didn't know? Yeah. I'm moisturising. I'm exfoliating. I'm shoal foot scrubbing. Do you get in there and you're like,

ooh, what's this? Oh, I do. Yeah, I mean, there were parts of my body that were incredibly wrinkly. Now they're wrinkle free. Don't show us. Purely from using these creams.

But then, like, yesterday I got a little, I guess, guilty because I was like, I've been using so much of her, secretly using so much of her lotions and potions that I should go and buy some body wash. Well, you can't use the shampoo and conditioner. No, she saves a lot on shampoo. So, you know, I can see why you want to treat yourself. Sometimes I put it on just to be part of the club.

You're like, oh, this is what this is like. So I went to the supermarket to buy some more body wash. And I tell you what, the bloody body wash people have gone experimental. Really. A lot of different fragrances, right? Like they used to just be soap flavour. Yeah.

Remember just soap flavour? Yeah. Or they would go maybe like a raspberry or a strawberry or a vanilla or something. You know, kind of like milkshakes. They were kind of like chocolate, raspberry, strawberry, vanilla. Those were your options back in the day. Hokey pokey if you were feeling experimental. But now I was like, I want to play a game with you.

Is this a body wash or is this not a body wash, Ben? Okay. Have we got some game show music, Juliet? Yeah, yeah, here we go. Okay, here we go. No, I'll do this one. Here we go. All right, here we go.

There's not much difference between the two. I'm going to go with the first one again. That's how you like it. Okay. Manuka honey and giraffe droppings. Oh, no, it's not a body wash. Well done. You know, these are going to be one of these ones where they're all made up.

No. Well, don't make a game where they're all made up. You've done this before. Okay. Marmalade and pina colada. Ooh. I might go with the actual body wash. No, it's not a body wash.

Damn it. Apricot extract and Mediterranean dolphin blubber. Okay, well, not a body wash. Well done. It started as a body wash. Vanilla-scented meat patties and sticky date pudding. Not a body wash. Well done. And that was, is this a body wash. Well done.

And that was, is this a body wash or not? One of my favourite games that we play on the radio. It'll be back same time next week. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Spy, no what's up? Spy.co.nz

Well, our wonderful producer, Producer Juliette, whether it's Kanye running for president or Ben Boyce running for paternity payments, she's got it all in this gossip update. Thank you. And speaking of Kanye running for president... But not me. Not me running for payments.

No. Just want to clarify. The next bulletin. Yeah. So he went on a big Twitter rant yesterday. So basically, apparently, Kim Kardashian, his wife, was not happy with his rally speech that he did. And he went on a big rant on Twitter saying that Kim tried to lock him up

with a doctor, that if he gets locked up like Mandela, you'll know why. And he shared screenshots of his text messages to Kim's mum, Chris, Jenna, being like, why aren't you answering my calls? Ready to talk when you are. All this drama going down and everyone thinks that he is going through, because he's been open about his bipolar disorder. Everyone thinks that he might be going through

a sort of bipolar episode at the moment. So hopefully he can get through it. I think you said yesterday, Ben, it's quite hard to watch the speech isn't it too? Because you're like, well, there's a lot of people around him, so someone needs to step up and take him to a safe place. Yeah, because if he really wants to do this,

then that's fine, and if this is the way he feels, then that's cool, but you have that sort of doubt that maybe this is just all part of this, and he needs a bit more support, but I don't know. And there are rumours going around that Kim might divorce him and all this drama, so we'll see how this unfolds. I always want to know who these people are.

It's like, Kim's not happy. I was like, well, Kim hasn't said she's not happy publicly. So who is this person going, oh, Kim's not happy? Yeah, good point. Someone like Jono in our office. Yeah, I tell you what. Jono's the author of TMZ. Oh, Danelle in Accounts is not happy with you, Ben.

Didn't file your invoice correctly again. And Adele's music manager, he paid himself £10 million last year, even though Adele didn't release any new music. So he's the owner of this particular management company. They only made £2 million last year, and he was decided, yeah, I'm just going to pocket £10 million of that and run away and spend it however he likes.

What a wonderful situation to be in to be able to pay yourself £10 billion, I say. So is Adele filthy about this or this is just par for the course? Well, sources haven't said if Adele's filthy about this. What should I say? What should I say about this? Adele is filthy about this

and I tell you who's also upset, Kim Kardashian is not happy as well. I can tell you that for a fact. And so Adele did make, obviously, some particular amount of money last year, but that's what her manager got. And there's going to be a Grease prequel called Summer Lovin'. So that's been confirmed,

and it's going to focus on Sandy and Danny's summer romance from when they first met. Oh, I tell you who's not a fan of Grease and who won't be happy about this. Kim Kardashian. Kim and everyone else. So hopefully that'll be a good one and no

no word on who's going to be playing Sandy Are you a Grease fan producer Juliette have you seen Grease Yes I have I have

and they've made a remake they made a remake of it at some stage which wasn't as good but Grease came out when I was kind of a kid so I sort of just just caught the brink

of the hype of it you know you know every high school in New Zealand is obligatory. It's part of unwritten New Zealand law that you do a Grease musical. Yes. Yeah, I was like a tree or something in Grease.

Were there trees in Grease? Because I was told to play one. Outside, though not on stage. You're like, okay, I'll get into this role. Yeah, so I put on a tree costume and it was a wonderful performance. You could play Danny in this prequel. I'd pay to see that. Does Danny have hair?

Yes, he does. Yeah, no, I can't. Lost the gig. What did you play? Did you do a musical at high school, Ben Boyce? No, I didn't do any high school musicals. I might have in primary school. I think it was Wizard of Oz or something like that as part of that.

You did a wonderful Michael Jackson performance, which this was actually post the documentary as well, which was controversial. It wasn't. Yeah, I kind of burnt down some of the gym floor, but that's all right. That's all right. We, which was controversial. It wasn't. I died. Yeah, I kind of burnt down some of the gym floor, but that's all right. That's all right.

We live and we learn. It's art, isn't it? And you know, if a building sacrifices for your Michael Jackson performance, then who's to say it's right or wrong? Some more spy head to the hit start kind of NZ. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Yesterday, 24 hours ago, we started a little bit of an experiment, but we also took a bit of a tangent thanks to Jono. And Jono, you started not just an experiment but some radio beef. Have a listen. So we want to do

a little radio experiment. You know, this is a fun radio experiment. Like, you know, can Gary McCormick make it through another show? Stop getting beef with Gary McCormick. The answer is yes, you can. You're not going to start beef with Gary McCormick.

He's a lovely, lovely guy and they do a great show. Yeah. Marinating beef with McCormick. That's what this show's doing. We, not me, we. We have beef with McCormick. No, we don't. Not at all. But anyway, yesterday the experiment that we got on to do was involving your phones. We, not me, we. We have beef with McCormick. No, we don't. Not at all. But anyway, yesterday the experiment that we got on to do was

involving your phones. Now, are they listening to your conversations? Are they picking up on this and are they sending you ads and products based on these conversations? There's a lot of conspiracy theories out there about it. Yeah, there is. It's a hot topic at the moment and so we had

a conversation yesterday about a particular topic. So 0800 the hits. If you were listening yesterday and you had your phone near the radio or near the speaker, whatever, did you get any ads pushed to your social feeds about this particular topic? Okay, pet insurance. Are you looking into pet insurance? You've got a dog. I have been looking into pet insurance, actually, because currently I don't think we have pet insurance. Affordable pet insurance? No, of course I want affordable

pet insurance. You don't want overpriced pet insurance. Unaffordable. I've got a cat recently from lockdown and a dog. I wonder if there are dog and cat pet insurance packages available. Yeah, well could you tell me about pet insurance? I need to know. Just a natural free-flowing conversation. Yeah.

We even spoke to Chris Keel. He's the New Zealand Herald tech expert about whether phones are actually listening. It's definitely a thing that Google and Facebook and others can hit you with stuff that you haven't even typed or at least not that they'll admit. Okay, so following the pet insurance discussion,

did you get anything? Did you get anything in your phone? No, I didn't get any ads the pet insurance discussion, did you get anything? Did you get anything in your phone? No, I didn't get any ads around pet insurance. I got a lot for the Breakfast Club on More FM. Gary McCormack in the mornings. Thank you for that, Jono. So maybe my phone just picked up on that. Maybe all our audience just got ads for that show.

Let's go to, oh no, 800 ads. We've got Olivia joining us. Welcome from Christchurch, Olivia. Good to have you on. Hi. Now, did you get ads for Gary McCormick or did you get ads for anything pet insurance related? No, so I don't have a pet, but I thought I'd participate, right?

So I got ads for pet food. Pet food? Oh, wow. Coincidence? I think not. Indeed. So you don't have a pet, there's no reason for you to be looking up pet food?

No, not at all. No, obviously, Ben. Unless she has a penchant for dog roll. Oh, yeah, true, sorry. Or cat biscuits. No further questions for me. She has a bowl of cat biscuits in the morning for cereal. Well, thank you, Olivia.

So I guess it's halfway there, isn't it? Yeah, I think you're right. Oh, yeah. Just get us a text for 487 if you had a better thing than that. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. I had an awkward door encounter yesterday. Oh, I love doors.

The amount of doors I've walked through over my career. They're so good. They open, they shut. They're normally helpful, aren't they, doors? They're so fun. You can open them, you can close them, you can prank people from behind them, you can do anything.

You can slam them in anger. Yeah, well, because yesterday my mate came over, a good mate of mine, and he's a builder, so he was helping with a little job outside. And this is his forte. This is not my forte. We've talked on the show. What's your forte?

Well, I know what my forte is, to be honest. But I sort of, for a while, my mate was doing this little thing. I was like, oh, do you want a hand? He was like, look, I know you. You're no good at this. Why don't you just do what you need to do? Why don't you go and Google what's my forte and try and find a forte? So I went inside the house while my mate was out there just doing this little quick job.

And I was like, oh, maybe I'll do like a home workout, you know, one of those YouTube things, the exercise regimes that I like to do off YouTube. Yeah, you do Joe Wick's body coach. Yeah, I do, 20, 30 minutes sort of thing like that. So I did one of those in the lounge. I'm hot and sweaty. You know, I'd done a good workout.

Have you ever thought about doing another one to sort of just bulk up a bit more? Just try another routine. So after the, I'm ignoring that. So after I'd done that, I was sort of took my T-shirt off, went down the hallway, I was going to hop in the shower and then I just heard a little plight knock on the door and I thought, oh, it's my mate finishing up the job.

So I opened up the door. I'm hot, I'm sweaty, I'm panting, I'm shirtless and it's a courier with a package. And he's standing there. And you feel like that situation you need to over-explain, even though I was doing nothing wrong. And I'm just there, I'm shirtless. I'm just like, he's just been doing homework.

And in my head, I'm like, what does he think I've been doing? Yeah, no, again, when you're hot, sweat, and panty. Hot, sweat, and what? I kind of said three words there. That happened to the other courier thing when you were at my house, sweat and what? Panty. I kind of said three words there. They'd have another courier thing when you were at my house, remember? We were having a coffee. Now this, we were having an innocent coffee.

Here we go. Okay. And Ben spilt, oh no, I accidentally spilt some coffee on Ben's trousers. It's not good when you, you've got to get it right. And knocked the coffee onto your trousers. So what had happened, Producer Julian,

it was your outside table and it had little holes in between the wood and you had a coffee on there. You knocked the coffee onto your trousers. So what had happened, Producer Julian, it was your outside table and it had little holes in between the wood. You had a coffee on there. You knocked the coffee and so some of it spilt through the hole down onto my trousers under the table. And a little bit on my trousers. So I was like, hey, mate, whip those off. Whip those off.

I'll whip mine off and we'll put them in the wash. You know, I'll get some nappy sand. You want to strike with the nappy sand quick or not. Straight away. Or else it's a long-lasting stain. So the two of us there, just the two of us in the house, we both washed our pants off. And we're putting them in that thing.

Which is right by your sort of back door. Front door, yeah. So the courier in that moment had actually come up the driveway and walked around and caught us both with our legs out. Both in our underpants, standing there watching our pants wash in the washing machine. Just two guys

all on board. Love it. But in that same situation you feel like you need to explain. You need to explain. Oh this must look a bit weird.

It's like whatever you're into I don't care and then when you say whatever you're into it's like no! Whatever I'm into there's a legitimate reason here.

And it's fine if we were. Whatever you're into and he walks off I feel like you just over explained that story to us as well. Yeah we probably did as. And it's fine if we were. I thought whatever you were doing in the walks off as a... Oh, my God. I feel like you just over-explained that story to us as well. Yeah, well, you probably did as well. But it's fine. It's fine.

There's nothing wrong with that. It's fine. Anything to cover up the bromance, you know? It's all good. Just in this situation, this was what the story was. That's right. Whatever we're into. This is your new breakfast.

Health Star rating still pending. It's Joro and Mano Mahit. It's time for us to give away a prize, but we might take that prize back off the person. Synchronise Odds. Not like a radio station that gives you a prize and then tries to steal it back off you. But that's what we do. It's unorthodox, but we call it synchronised answering.

Ben and myself need to synchronise up our answers. Sync up like a MacBook with an iPhone. Syncing like devices. And Juliet, you chuck out the categories. You give us three seconds to answer. And Nikita, you've done a wonderful job of using your fingers to call up the show this morning. And how are your fingers this morning, Nikita?

Yeah, all right. Yeah, all right? Feeling fit and healthy? Yeah, no, farming out in Lipperton in Taranaki, so it's a bit chilly. You're in Taranaki. You sound confused at the moment. You know you've run the radio.

It's too early. I have four children to get to three different places by 9am. Oh, man. That's busy. Well, hopefully you can have this double pass to the movies, Reading Cinemas, but we could take it off you if we synchronise and answer.

We've got three attempts. You just stay there and see if you win the prize. I love it how you've had to drop four people in three different locations but still had time to phone up for a competition. This is multitasking at its finest. Juliet, what's the first topic? Alright, name for me a planet in our solar system.

Pluto. Pluto. He went Jupiter, I went Pluto. Nikita, that means you've still got the tickets. Madea, let's go on to the next one. Madea? What is this, the 1920s? Name for me a type of pie.

Bacon and egg. Chicken and mushroom. Now, see, Nikita, I just want to, are you still there? Yeah, I'm here. Ben tries to sabotage this because he doesn't like stealing prizes off people. So he comes up with obscure answers that will never synchronise

up with mine. Chicken and mushroom. Yeah, well it's a lovely pie. Oh, it's a good pie. Yeah, thank you Nikita. I bet she's going to say anything at the moment to you. Okay, our last chance to take the prize off you. Name for me a member of the National Party.

Andrew Falloon. Oh, not former. Yeah, oh, yeah. Well done, Nikita. You've got the double pass for the movies. Oh, yay. Thank you. Yeah, continue on with your busy morning.

Thanks so much for listening to the show, mate. Mate, appreciate it. Thank you. I, continue on with your busy morning. Thanks so much for listening to the show, mate. Mate, appreciate it. Thank you. I'm having a shocker this morning. I'm just bummed. You know, through that whole game, I just spend my time looking at your juicy plump lips. Just trying to... They get quite quivery at times, don't they?

Those quivering lips. All right, let's move on. Beautiful lips, bed boys. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. These are the news stories that are broken overnight and might be popping up in your feed,

but don't bother using your index finger. Save that index finger energy because we're going to do the heavy lifting for you. Us news hounds have shoved our noses into the crotch of the news. Yeah. Now, one is quite light news, the other one a bit more serious, but we'll start with the light news and yesterday was World Lamington Day and

it was all over the media. Oh, an unreasonable amount of coverage it got as I was just saying minutes ago. Ben Boyce, you were one of the perpetrators of this Lamington propaganda. Passionate about a World Lamington record New Zealand was trying to set for the world's biggest Lamington. Can I cast your mind back to yesterday's broadcast?

There was a claim made by you. I won't sleep until I know that we have taken this out, guys. Why don't you go down there and stay there the whole time? Oh, I might do. Got some stuff on, but if it works into my schedule, then I will. You said you would not sleep. Now, I'm looking at you this morning. You look well-rested.

You look sprightly, even. I'm picking you to have a good six to seven hours of sleep. Juliet? Yeah, I reckon he had a good six to seven hours of sleep. Juliet? Yeah, I reckon he had a good snooze. Did you sleep? I knew you would sleep. I slept. I did.

I'm sorry, guys. My word is a lie. I slept. But I was pleased to know when I woke up this morning we did break the world lamington record yesterday. And all the lamingtons were going to the city mission. So there is a homeless all over New Zealand dining out on novelty lamington.

What, did they go the red or the chocolate? Did they go strawberry or chocolate lamington? They seem to be more of a chocolate one from the pictures I saw online. They weighed 2,770 kgs, 13,000 eggs, 650 kgs of sugar and 500 grams of kgs of flour as well. So a massive thing they made yesterday. How did they bake it?

Did they bake it in... Individually and they sort of put it together in Sylvia Park. So a massive thing they made yesterday. How did they bake it? Did they bake it in... Individually, and they sort of put it together in Sylvia Park. So yeah, there we go. So well done New Zealand on that. I can sleep tonight. I slept last night.

I can continue to sleep. Hold your head high, Aotearoa. Well done to you. A record that we didn't even know we needed to break, we broke, and that's the main thing.

And yesterday in Parliament for the first time, they had question time. Judith Collins, she's the new leader of the National Party, as we know. She faced off against Jacinda Ardern, the Prime Minister, for the first time. It was billed like a pay-per-view UFC event, wasn't it?

And it was disappointing. It was. The best sort of comment was made by Jacinda Ardern when she was talking about, she took a jab at Judith Collins about how she waited for a long time to be leader of the National Party. When it came to light rail, she managed to get that in there. To the Prime Minister, does she believe that she has upheld her commitment for, quote, more emphasis placed on public transport and light rail? Mr Speaker, yes.

I know the member is probably going to reference light rail to the airport. I would say to the member that, as she will well know, sometimes it takes a little longer than you'd like to get what you want. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Sort of a positive burn, wasn't it? Like almost going, hey, congratulations, you've got what you want, and you waited that distance and that time to get what you want. Yeah, you're right, actually. But yeah, no, that was... If I watch the Parliament TV, there's a lot of... Their quads get a good workout, don't they? Because whenever they want to speak, they'd stand up,

then they'd sit back down. True, sometimes they'd go, hold on, on my turn. You're doing squats, basically, for three hours. Yeah, that's a good point. But also at the same time, trying to think of quick retorts to what people have said on the other side of the chamber as well. I imagine quite a workout. But then the others just sort of sit back and relax.

I imagine it's quite a sleepy environment. Yeah, you feel like the back benches are always nodding off, right? Yeah, those big green lazy boy looking chairs look very comfortable. So that is scrolling through your feed this morning. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. The A to Z of New Zealand.

This is where we call a different town or city in New Zealand. So we do one a day. We do it alphabetically and it's going to take us over two years to do. Yeah, we phone literally everyone in the New Zealand phone book, don't we? Remember that time we prank called the same lady twice? That's right. And she was like, you've already prank called me. We're like, geez.

But like two years apart. Yeah, we need to widen the gene pool of this country. It's too small, but it's a wonderful country. There's no disputing that. 570 towns or cities that we need to call on this journey. And today, Cooper's Creek. If you're a fan of creeks, whether it be Dawson's Creek or creaky door hinges that need some CRC,

you'll just love Cooper's Creek. Named after a narrow, sheltered waterway, Cooper's Creek is in the rural north of Auckland and it's one of two Cooper's Creeks in New Zealand. The other one being in North Canterbury. Oh really? Which goes to prove we do need to get a little more creative at naming our creeks. Oh so we've got two of them

okay. We've got two. So we're going to go through to the North Island one today and it's a vineyard called Cooper's Creek. Good morning Cooper's Creek, Good morning, Cooper's Creek. Nuri speaking. Oh, we got it. Is it Marie, is it? Nuri, yes.

Nuri, it's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Welcome to the A to Z of New Zealand. We're phoning every town and or city in New Zealand. Cooper's Creek is number 63 on the list alphabetically. Welcome. Thank you. That was a mouthful. It was.

You really did well. Take a breath, John. Did you digest all that information? I think so. Yeah, it was a lot. 63 on the list. Yeah, well done. A lot being barked down the phone at you.

Now, Noree, we're phoning Cooper's Creek. Yes. What is this wonderful slice of paradise? We are in North West Auckland. Oh, yeah? And we are an operating vineyard and winery. You're the winery named after the area. Yes, that's correct.

Okay, and what about the wine? What sort of wine are we talking? A cheeky, a cheeky? I don't know why people always say cheeky. Why does it have to be cheeky? I don't know why it has to be cheeky. You know I have a cheeky Chardonnay. Yeah, they do.

A cheeky Chardonnay. A cheeky Sav. Why does it have to be cheeky? A cheeky, a sneaky Pinot Noir. What are you making there? We have all sorts, actually. We've got a huge range. So, yes, we do Sav, but we also do lots of unusual varieties like El Brino and Marzahn,

Anais, Montepulciano. Have you got a Randy Cab Sav? Yeah, we have an Ice Cab Sav. I don't know. You know I don't drink wine. Neither do I. And I live in a winery. Really?

Oh, that's interesting. Ben, you're a bit of a wine connoisseur. I wouldn't say I was a wine connoisseur, but I do enjoy sitting around and having a wine. You're talking about sophisticated stuff. As long as you're having a wine with no H, it's all good, right? Yeah, wine. I'm having a wine.

What's sophisticated? Hold on, Noreen. Apologies. Would you like to ask him what's sophisticated things? No follow right? Yeah, wine. I'm having a wine. What's the first thing? Hold on, Noreen. Apologies. Would you like to ask him what sophisticated things? No follow-up questions, please. What sophisticated things are you talking about? Just say my word for it. I sit there and I talk about stuff, you know?

Like, yeah, you guys wouldn't understand, you non-wine drinkers, you. Are you eating the finest cheeses in the world? Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you what. We had this the other day. It was quite fun. But we had a wine and cheese evening at a friend's place,

so we all had to bring a bottle of wine and accompanied cheese along. Oh, fair enough. Oh, my God. Noree, could you get anything whiter right now? It was like a wine and cheese evening, but by the end of it, it was like six or seven blocks of cheese. That was the hard thing. I had never eaten so much cheese in my life. Because everyone brought out cheese.

Oh, jeez. it was like, yeah. Well, that's the collateral damage when you have a wine and cheese evening. No one can bring anything else. Oh, listen, this has been an absolute joy. We've learnt that there's not much in Cooper's Creek apart from a vineyard. And what do you want to say to the rest of New Zealand, Marie? I don't know, enjoy the winter. Oh, those are touching words.

Touching words. Lovely words. All right, you have don't know. Enjoy the winter. Those are touching words. Touching words. Lovely words. All right, Ellen. You have a great day. Thanks very much. See you, mate. Bye. The A to Z of New Zealand

will continue again tomorrow as we slowly make our way through every town and city in New Zealand. The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We had a little bit of an interesting morning

yesterday morning after the show. The company here, they had sort of like a propaganda morning where all the radio stations, it's all a big conglomerate of radio stations, got wheeled out and we got to talk to everyone in the business, Ben. It's the first time we've been to one of these. Producer Juliet, these have happened before in the past, right?

Yeah, yeah, occasionally, maybe once or twice a year. They're not very often. So everyone from the other radio stations, whether they're ZM or Newstalk ZB or us here at the Hits here, we've got to say, you know, this is what we are. This is what our station's all about.

Yeah, all the sales team are there, the management there. It's a big turn. It was a lovely affair. It was great. That's all right, mate. That's not what you're saying off air. Oh, no, he's stitching me up.

No, this is fair play. Touché, boys. Touché. But we got wheeled out, Ben, you and me, after Heather Duplessy-Allen on News Talk 7. Oh, I did a wonderful job. She's up there giving her hot takes on the National Party fiasco. She's doing well.

Oh yeah, I was just watching it going, well, this is great. Every question they asked her, she talked about the election, she talked about the National Party, it was just like this. That's how it's done. Then we get wheeled up there and I'm like, well, this is great. Every question they asked her, she talked about the election, she talked about the National Party, it was just like this. That's how it's done. Then we get wheeled up there and I'm like, oh, God. I'm always quite wary of my crotch in those situations because we're sitting on a stool. Yeah, true.

And you're like, you want to show a little bit, don't you? But you don't want to be too much. Do you? You want the audience to see a little bit but not too much. You want it to be sophisticated. Okay, right. So, yeah, you need your legs at sort of a 35-degree angle apart. But anyway, Boss Todd, our boss here, he gets on the microphone and he's like,

well, I'd love to introduce you to a couple of great dads, Jono and Ben. And I've noticed this is a common thing with Boss Todd. He keeps introducing us to people and groups of people as a couple of great dads. No, I see why he's doing this because in the past, you know, we're dads, we're proud dads, but we haven't always, you know,

talked about it as much on the radio and in things and some people are surprised. They're like, oh, you've got kids. Yes, we do have kids. We both have young kids and we love them dearly. But I think Todd's like,

yeah, they're dads. They're a couple of dads. He's really ramming that home. You know, I love Toddy, but he doesn't know how good I am at being a dad. I might be a shocking father. I'm more a guy who managed to have babies and hasn't lost his kids.

That's the category I'd put me in. I feel like Todd needs to come over and just watch. I try my best. I try my best to be a great dad, but I feel like Todd can't really make that statement without saying it. If he comes over, he'll just see a dad shoving iPads into his kids' hands and letting YouTube raise his children. Now, is that a great dad, I ask you?

I always find those things where they have, around Father's Day and stuff, they have the world's greatest dad mugs and the world's greatest dad. So you've got socks that say number one dad, don't you? Yeah. Yeah. And that's some number one seed dad. So you've got socks that say number one dad, don't you? Yeah. Yeah. And that's some number one seed dad.

You're not even top 20. Again, I try and be a great dad. Yeah, I try and be as good as I can, but I realise I'm not top 100, maybe not even top 1,000. Oh, in the world? No. There's great dads. I mean, Barack Obama, for one, the top of the head,

he'd be a great dad. Clooney, George Clooney's the father of twins. I want him to be my dad. He'd be a great dad. He's top 10 dad.'s the father of twins. I want him to be my dad. He'd be a great dad. He's top 10 dad. Yeah, I don't deserve to wear number one dad socks. And the manufacturer, ironically, is probably in China, made by children, these socks.

Making the number one dad socks. They're printing millions of them. Knowing farewell, that not everyone could be a number one dad. They only need one pair of these socks, and every year they hand them around to the world's number one dad. That would be the only fair way to have number one dad. They only need one pair of these socks, and every year they hand them around to the world's number one dad. That would be the only fair way to have number one dad socks. You pick the number one seed every year,

like the National Geographic person of the year or the Time magazine person of the year, the number one dad of the year. Todd could come in, our boss, and go, hey, that's a bloody great dad. They need to have some evidence to back it up. I mean, I forgot the names of my kids yesterday. So shocking of being a dad I am. You're not helping. I'm trying

to say that we try our best. I let my kids smoke. No, you don't. They're only seven. No, you don't. It's like, take up smoking. It's a great hobby. No, you don't. Alright, move it on. Remember to double pump the vogels. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Time for Don't Call Us, We'll Call You.

This is a game show on radio where we phone people at random and ask them four questions in order to win $40 worth of Hell Pizza. What price do you put on that? Well, as it turns out, it'd be $40. Yeah, well, that's true. Shall we make a call now? Let's do it. Valoranzo City Apartments. You're speaking with Janelle.

Oh, Janelle, it is always an absolute treasure to talk to you and hear those dulcet tones down the phone. Lovely. And from my mate, who's speaking? John, I'm Ben from the Hits Radio Session. Oh, hello. Nice to talk to you. How can I help?

Yeah, you have to say that now because I butted you up hard at the beginning of this, didn't I? Yeah, you did. Now you're too polite to hang up on us. That patience might run out. Okay, all right. We're borrowing time quickly, Jono. Say, hit the music, Janelle.

Okay, hit the music. It's time for our game show. It's called Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. Okay. Four questions. You weren't expecting this, were you? No, I was not. I'm just at work.

Oh, yeah, well, four quick questions were you? No, I was not. I'm just at work. Oh, yeah, well, four quick questions and you'll get $40 hell pizza. It'll be quick when I don't know the answers. Oh, okay. Hey, don't talk yourself down. I'll be fine. I reckon you're going to be one of the best contestants we've ever had on this show. You'll be surprised.

Okay. Just go for it, though. Why not? The classic New Zealand thing. I like this. I like this. Don't go in with too much confidence. This is how we like to approach the Olympics. Yeah, low expectations.

Yeah, exactly. You don't trip and fall. Who is the leader of the National Party? A. Judith Collins, B. Rudith Collins or C. Nudith Collins? I'm going to go with Judith. Well done. One from one. And you said you were going to be bad at this. Which of these is not a US presidential

candidate? A. Donald Trump, B. Kanye West or C, Tom Hanks? Tom Hanks. Oh, well done there. Two from two. Tom Hanks would make a great president. He would be really good actually. You're throwing me the easy balls first, aren't you?

Yeah. The name of the Auckland rugby team is what? A, the Auckland Traffic Jams, B, the Auckland Lattes, or C, the Auckland Blues? Auckland Blues? Oh, my God. I always thought there'd be a good name for the break. It's the basketball team, the Auckland Traffic,

and then they can go for the Traffic Jam, you know? It's a basketball thing. Well, there's so much explanation that has to go with that, though. The Auckland Traffic. And they'll be like, oh, you know, because everyone says Auckland Traffic, you know? And they'll be like, oh, the Traffic Jam. Jam, of course.

Anyway, we'll get into that later. Kate who is married to Prince William? A, Kate Middleton, B, Kate Toppleton, or C, Kate Bottomton? Kate Middleton. Oh, my God. There you go. $40 health pizza is all yours Prince William? A. Kate Middleton B. Kate Toppleton or C. Kate Bottomton? Kate Middleton. Oh my God. There you go. $40 health pizza is all yours. Just like that.

Just like that. Just like that. Did you want me to find the instant replay of you saying you were going to be shocking at this game because you were anything but? Yeah, well, you gave me

an easy go. That was very kind of you. Oh, we're a very basic radio show. So we pride ourselves on being accessible, low level. Yeah, obtainable. Well, when you call to terrify workers who aren't expecting anything, then it's good to be nice and easy.

Oh, that's right. You hold the line, we'll get your details, and we'll send you out that pizza. Oh, thank you. Look at the show's tagline, join on being nice and easy. I like it. Thank you, Janelle. Thank you, bye.

That's all thanks to Hell Pizza. Time is running out To try their Hell Pizzas Reuben Pizza Loaded with Beef brisket pastrami You don't want to miss it It's an old collection

Of words there isn't it Beef brisket pastrami Yeah Always trips me up I always try and get it right But I don't quite But it's the show Serving bowls of lolls

For breakfast Actual lolls may not be served It's Jono and Ben On the heads Spy The what's up Spy.co.nz. Johnny Depp's not the only one who goes on benders. She's been on a bender of celebrity gossip over the last 24 hours.

And what have we got, Juju? So Natalie Portman, Serena Williams and Eva Longoria are launching a women's football or soccer team in LA. So essentially they're going to be the owners. There will be professionals playing for the team. But imagine if you were in that team and you're like, yo, Eva Longoria and Serena Williams basically own me. Football's taking off in America, isn't it? Or soccer, as they would call it

over there. Doesn't David Beckham own a football team? I think he owns a Miami team or something, yeah. Because he played in LA for many years for the Galaxy over there. And LeBron James I think is part owner of the Miami team or was at some stage. So you're right.

It's kind of the new sport on the rise. Yeah, obviously a great investment. We spoke to Eva Longoria once. She used to work in Wendy's. Did she? The fast food chain. That's right. No, no.

I knew I'd be successful, but I didn't know I would be in Hollywood. Because even when I was 13, I stole my sister's ID and I went to get a job under her name. One week I was there, I was like, how do I be a manager? I think you committed fraud. Yeah. I did. A little bit. Just admitted it on camera. She was a 13-year-old manager

at Wendy's. Imagine having to answer to a 13-year-old. It's not surprising she's got a soccer team now. Yeah, exactly. You're slacking off. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, boss. And KJ Upper, so he shared a video onto his Instagram. He had to pull a

shard of metal out of his eye, Jono. Oh, my God. Jono. You know I'm not an eye person. Thoughts? Oh, this is traumatic. It's a two-minute long video of someone trying to get a shard of metal out of his eye. Oh, he's posted the video of the removal? Yeah. Oh, God.

With a little cotton bud thing. It's so close to doing, like, permanent damage. Oh, gosh, yeah. Yeah. What happened? They ended up getting it out. But, you know, when you get something out of your eye and you still sort of feel like it's in there? He was convinced for so long that it was still in there.

But they got it out. We don't know how he got it in. But, yeah, ouchies, ouch but yeah ouchies ouchies ouchies do you remember we were filming something for the TV show once and you had one of those

confetti cannons you know those little things you buy from the stores and you fired one off towards you know like thinking

it was further enough away from me but a sharded metal came out to the side and hit me in the hand that's right I was like why was a sharded metal

inside this confetti cannon and I think I was holding. That's right. I was like, why was there a shard of metal inside this confetti cannon? And I think I was holding, at the time I was like, sheesh. What an innocent... I know, you think confetti. I was like, what did you do? It's the best surprise party ever. Surprise!

You've got a giant shard of metal in the middle of your forehead. A single drip of blood comes down between your eyes. Happy birthday! Wonderful birthday party situation. I'm pretty sure somewhere on it, it probably says don't fire them at people.

Well, you weren't even that close to my face or anything. But yeah, but you wouldn't have thought metal would be inside the confetti cannon. I put the metal in as a prank. Did you like it? Oh, well, great. Great stuff. Great prank.

For more Spy, head to thehits.co.nz. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Is it going to be a good day today? We like to end the show on a positive note I'll tell you why it's going to be a good day for me because yesterday we broke the world Lamington record Jono

The world record for the largest Lamington I didn't even know it was a thing until yesterday but I got quite passionate about it Yeah but a little too passionate like you overshot the mark you said I will not sleep until we get this Lamington record and then you came to work today looking vitalised and refreshed from a full eight hours sleep. So your commitment to oversized novelty Lamingtons, not as much as you led the public to believe, Ben Boyce.

But we got it. We got it. 150 kgs heavier than the Australian Lamington that they had the world record for. So well done, New Zealand. Hold your head high, New Zealand. It's a good day. And we want to know why it's going to be a good day. We end the show injecting you with a bit of positivity.

And to the anti-vaxxers, we won't inject you with anything because that goes against your beliefs, although they're controversial. We will respect them, won't we? We won't inject any positivity into you. It's not about negativity right now, John. It's about positivity. So why is it going to be a good day for you?

Let's go to Duncan. Welcome, Duncan. How are you, mate? How are we going? We're doing well. Well, why is it going to be a good day for you? Let's go to Duncan. Welcome, Duncan. How are you, mate? How are we going? We're doing well. Why is it going to be a good day for you, buddy? Because today is my birthday.

Oh, now we have a special song from Carole Baskin, a.k.a. the lovely lady who fed her husband to the tigers, allegedly, just for you. Go, Charlotte. It's your birthday.

We're going to party like it's your birthday. We're going to set the party like it's your birthday We're going to party like it's your birthday We're going to set the party like it's your birthday And you know we don't give a fudge that it's your birthday That's just for you Duncan Duncan, we're going to give you a double pass to Reading Cinemas, alright my friend? Awesome, cheers Have a great birthday

Love your work Yarning's in Auckland, why's it going to be a good day in Auckland there Yarning? Because I have the day off Oh, don't you love it when you have the day off. Oh, don't you love it when you have the day off? You go in and enjoy doing literally nothing. Don't get out of your pyjamas. Don't brush your teeth. Personal hygiene. Throw it out the window

today, okay, Yarning? A radio. A double pass for your radio. She's not going to follow through on that, but a double pass for the movies, all right? It's yours, Reading Cinemas. Thank you. All right, and finally we've got a Sia. Welcome, Sia. Why is it going to be a good day? Because Cross Country

is cancelled. Oh, don't you love it when Cross Country is cancelled. No one likes traipsing through the mud. Oh, that's great. Sia, we're going to send you off to the movies. Reading Cinemas, okay? Okay. Alright, we'll awkwardly back out of this convo.

It's going to be a good day. Thank you. That is our show for Wednesday. Thank you so much for tuning in. It's been a lot of fun over the last few hours. We do enjoy doing the show, don't we? And we've got a very exciting morning. We're heading off to a meeting discussing the rules and guidelines

surrounding broadcasting in 2020. So many of which I'm sure have been broken over the last three hours, but that's going to be enthralling. Probably should have the meeting before the show, but anyway, we've done that now. Don't forget your next chance to live free of your food, petrol and power bills, 10 o'clock today, another one at 2 o'clock and 4 o'clock,

and back again with us tomorrow at 8 o'clock. This is an awesome prize. You have yourself a great day. We'll catch you guys tomorrow from 6 o'clock for more of whatever we do. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app.