Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - July 23 - Heather Du Plessis-Allan, Reception Reception, Is Ben A Bad Dad?

Episode Date: July 22, 2020

You know how all the Karens in the world are getting flak on social media? How they are portrayed as whiny and obnoxious? Well we wanted to prove that not all Karens are like this, by getting one of our favourite Karens on.. TWENTY DOLLAR KAREN! And my god did she deliver. She also gave her two cents on the current political dramas and we're now considering her to be our new political correspondent! We also played Reception Reception where Jono called up a receptionist and left an embarrassing message about Ben for her to pass on. Have a wonderful day!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast, wonderful to have you here, Jono and Ben. My name's Jono. And my name's Ben. It's wonderful to hear you. No one ever knows which one of us is which, and that's fine. I just answer to Jono and Ben.

Yeah. People down the street sometimes go, Jono and Ben. And I'm just like, hey. Yeah, you answer to book, don't you? It's fine. I don't care. The amount of horrible, despicable acts I've done under your name over the years. That's when you do go, oh, by the way, I'm Ben.

When I'm parked in a disabled car by whistling, yeah. You know, we're just at an age now where fashion is looping around. Yeah. Stuff I was wearing is now coming back into fashion. But the stuff I've always worn, I've never dipped out of it. It's now just thankfully time's passed and my fashion from the 90s is just now becoming relevant again. You've ridden it out, haven't you? It's been a long ride. It's been a lot of mocking from you. Yeah. But I've battled on through it. I've put on my suit of armour and knocked off your insults

and here we are. Jerry Seinfeld, he says that basically dads dress in the clothing of the last good year of their life. And they just hold on to that and they just sort of ride that out. And you might be right. Very good observation. Yeah, that's his observation. I was like, yeah, that's how they dress. Yeah. So now, you know, Levi's jeans, big wide-legged Levi's jeans are coming back.

Yeah. And do you remember, it always used to be quite a thing, did you have an orange tab or red tab on your Levi's? And the old Levi Strauss is going, you dumbasses, they're the same jeans, but I'm selling one for $50 more than the other. Yeah. Mum would never buy me red tabs, always orange. I was like, Mum.

You've got to have the red tabs, yeah. Yeah. You would never buy me red tabs. Always orange. I was like, Mum. You've got to get going. I've got to have the red tabs, yeah. Yeah. You're right. It's probably the same jeans. Did you have a fad of, in Masterton when you were growing up, of mustard-coloured origin jeans from, like, Shoe Rites or Helen's Soys.

Yeah, yeah. And maroon and forest green. Yeah. And then my mum, Jenny, went to the States. She went to the States and I was like, bring me back a pair of Jordans. I want some Jordans, Nike Jordans. That's all I wanted.

And she came back with shoes. I was like, oh, this is exciting. And they were British Knights, a brand of shoes. She was like, the guy in the store said they were better than Jordans. I bet he did. Oh, you've got... He got employee of the month, didn't he, man? I was like, oh my God.

Anyway, I won't digress. It's a fun show today on the podcast. Jono gets me again with reception, reception. Leaves an embarrassing message for me that I have to ring up and collect from a receptionist around the country. As well as that, Heather Dupas-The-Allen, she does a Newstalk ZB show. There's a whole lot going on in New Zealand politics, so we try and get into that as well. So enjoy the podcast. The soggy cornflakes of radio.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're just talking about the name Karen. It's been tarnished as a name. It basically means on the internet an entitled sort of middle-aged woman. And we felt bad for the Karens around the world and here in New Zealand. Oh, geez, and also if your name is Ian Lees-Galloway or Andrew Falloon, you've had a hard week as well on the name front. Exactly.

So we thought we'd call the most famous Karen that we know and give her the chance to defend herself, defend the Karens. This is $20 Karen. Don't. Hello? Is that our friend $20 Karen Yeah It's John Owen Ben calling

Yes I recognise your voice Well why did you sound so standoffish Because on my phone and you go into things and you get those ads because you're into things and you get those ads because you're into stupid competitions that aren't even real and next thing you've got all these people ringing you from charity.

Did you think we were a niggly charity phoning for a donation? Yeah, that's the one. Oh, well, sorry to bug you, Karen. You're a charitable person. Yeah, I know I am. You've got a heart of gold. Now, Karen, the reason we are phoning you, there's an agenda here. Yeah.

Karens, I'm not sure if you're aware, have been getting a hard time on the internet lately. Apparently. Apparently. You've heard of this as a Karen, and we wanted to say not all Karens are like this. We know $20 Karen, and she's great. It's the one I am for the real Karen please stand up

now Karen what we wanted to do is we wanted to give you 60 seconds 30 seconds 60's a long time I won't let Karen talk freely for 60 seconds

on the radio I don't know what she'll say even 30 makes you nervous 4 to 5 seconds 30 seconds to say why you're a lovely Karen because we Even 30 makes you nervous. Four to five seconds. 30 seconds to say why you're a lovely Karen. Because we want to defend the Karens this morning. Yeah.

Karens are kind. K for kind. A for agreeable. R for being right. E for everything lovely. And N because I'm never, ever wrong. That was off the top of your head. That was amazing.

Was it like a haiku? No, I don't know if it was a haiku. Was that a haiku when you put the name down and you write? No, I think that's something different. But that was very impressive, Karen. Oh, that's good. I like to aim to please. That's what Karen does.

That's why she gets out of bed in the morning. Well, I actually get out of bed to moan a lot. What should we moan about today? Who's pissing me off? Oh, no, it's crush a **** bullet. Karen, you own my video. Have you been watching my channel? Oh, your YouTube channel.

You keep plugging that. Yeah, bloody hope I do. Karen, you'd be... my video. Have you been watching my channel? Oh, your YouTube channel. You keep plugging that. Yeah. Bloody hope I do. Karen, you ought to be... I got over my thousand subscribers. Oh, good work. Congratulations, Karen. A thousand subscribers. To 20 F'ing Wax, the YouTube channel.

I got the big congrats from YouTube. Oh, did you? Yeah. Rains down confetti and everything on your phone. Congratulations on 1,000 subscribers. Now, tell me, Karen. My YouTube, you should watch it. I tell you all about Crusher Collins.

Yeah, I bet you do. Now, what do you reckon about Crusher Collins and how she's had to deal with the wayward National MPs over the last seven days? I'd say she's got what she deserves. Wow. OK, OK. The Nationals had a great big shambles, didn't they?

Just like Labour was last election. Yeah, you're right. Jacinda came in and then seemed to sort that out, didn't she? I don't think Crusher Collins can do it. I don't think she's really hard enough to beat Jenny f***ing Shipley. Karen, could you be our political correspondent? I was just about to say, can I? I can, but I'm really into my politics.

You're definitely not impartial, though. That's the thing. Yeah, I know. You've got to be impartial. I'm Labour. I'm red. Yeah, I know. We guessed that.

We guessed that. Can we pitch something to you, Karen, that you become our official political correspondent once a week we catch up with you? I think that's a bloody good idea. You can plug your YouTube channel, whatever it is we're plugging. And about what's going on in this politics

and why we don't vote national. Well, we're going to have to balance that out somehow, aren't we? As an impartial radio station. I mean, I'd rather vote for David bloody Seymour. Oh, there's a bit of impartiality. Okay, you have. Nice work. Love your work, Karen.

We will talk next week. Yes, we will. Take it on from there. We'll see what left-wing propaganda you need to spout off next week. Yeah. I don't know. I'll think about it between now and then. Okay, love you. $20, Karen.

Love your work, Karen. See you, mate. Love you guys. Bye. Remember to double pump the vogels. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Producer Juliet, who works with us on the show, you get ready in the quickest possible way.

Yeah, so I am at work by 4.45, and I have my alarm set up for 4.25. So I'm awake and at work in 20 minutes. Oh my, so this is dressing, showering, eating? No, you don't eat till after the show, right? No, I don't eat before I come to work. I shower the night before. I lay my clothes out to the point,

because you've got to save time. You want to maximise your sleep. I lay my clothes out in the order that I'd put them on. So like I'd have my pants on the bottom and then I'd have my underwear and then my t-shirt and then my bra and then underneath my pants will be my jacket. So it's all in order of when I put it on.

Oh, those are valuable seconds. Valuable seconds, you're saying. Exactly, yeah. Well, we must remember Juliet also is a millennial. She's still got a spring in her step. Mind you, I'm also a millennial. Yeah. There's an article about Andrew Falloon saying he was a millennial. She's still got a spring in her step. Mind you, I'm also a millennial. I'm still a millennial. There's an article about Andrew Falloon saying he was a millennial.

If it's good enough for Falloon, it's good enough for me. So we want to know if you can beat producer Juliet. Can you go from getting up and getting to work in less than 20 minutes? Because I don't know if you could. The only person getting to work quicker than you is Garth from Sales, who is having a bit of trouble at home and he's living in the bathroom here at work. Yeah, well, he's beating your time.

He's up and he's at work. In fact, he's never left. So, oh, 100 of the hits is the phone number, 4487 on the text. By the time you get up and the time you get to work, how long does it take? Can you beat 20 minutes? Let's go to Wellington.

Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Sarah. Hi. I'm at work within 15 minutes. From the moment you wake? Yes, so I have everything already lined up. I know what I'm wearing. It's all laid out. I just get changed. I don't

really wear that much makeup and I get to work and I have breakfast at work. Do you shower? No shower? No shower at night times. Ah. See, now someone's texting saying eight minutes. Cut the shower out of your day.

Eight minutes? Eight minutes from waking up to work. The work's just at the end of his road. Oh, my goodness. Eight minutes. Jeez. It almost becomes a thing you want to shave time off, doesn't it? That probably works down from half an hour.

A competition with yourself every day to see how fast you could be, I reckon. Well, I can imagine there's people that live at the back of a dairy or maybe they're truck drivers that they wake up and they just walk straight to the truck and technically from walking out of the house into the truck is going to work. Now, Sarah, I'm just going to ask you a question. How often do you just dream about just waking up when nature intended? Just sleeping in and just opening your eyes and just

going... All the time. I love sleep. So that's why I go to bed early and I just, you know, as soon as that alarm goes off, as close to my start time, I'm like up and ready to go. I don't snooze. I'm not a snoozer. That's my stuff at the moment, just dreaming about just waking up. When my pasty white flabby body wants to wake up. Don't you dream of that? Yeah.

Just easing into the day. Yeah. I bet this is really doing some stuff for people now, me just talking about it as you drive into work. Hey, thank you for listening to the show, Sarah. I really appreciate it, mate. No worries. But the people that like the snooze function, don't they?

And then they negotiate. I think they negotiate with themselves. If I give myself five more minutes, I won't do this. Or I do this and you end up going to work naked without brushing your teeth. You're like, oh, but I did get 15 more minutes in the morning. Serving bowls of lollies for breakfast. Actual lollies may not be served. It's Jono more minutes in the morning. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads.

Now, there's a little game that Jono likes to play. We call it reception, reception, where Jono leaves a message on a random reception for me. I go out of the room, and then I come back and see if I can retrieve this message, normally an embarrassing message, and I hear it for the first time from the receptionist. Yeah, and we have discovered over the five or six weeks we've been doing this,

there are some exceptional receptionals out there, aren't there? Yeah, there is. Just really helpful people at the front. And the person at the front desk of any business, that's the front of the business. That's what they say, isn't it? Yeah. They say something like that, don't they? Yeah, something like that, yeah.

What do they say? Manager of first impressions? Yeah, it's kind of like that is the first impression. Yeah, that's the first thing that the person will see. There is probably a better saying than what I've just fumbled through. But yeah, 100% hit rate from this. Some wonderful people. So Ben, take your bony little sweet little butt to the soundproof booth.

All right, I'm gone. And I'll place a call through here to Nelson. Good morning, Nelson SBR. We're speaking with Clara. Hi, Clara. How are you today? Not too bad. How are you?

Wonderful day out there, isn't it? Every day above ground is better than a day not above ground. That's what I always say. Exactly. How can I help? Clara, I was just phoning up to leave a message for Ben Who runs the baby product website I think you pulled the wrong number He said you might say that

He said just leave a message with Clara He'll phone up in a matter of minutes And then retrieve the message Ben? Ben, yeah Okay What's the message? message. Ben? Ben, yeah. Okay. What's the message? I was just wanting to make, place an order of some

of the products on the website. Are you sure he said Clara? Yeah, he did. No, no, he did. Who am I speaking with? My name is, uh, Johansson. Johansson. And I would, if you could please note down

that I would like to order a dozen cans of the fake tan for babies. That's a practical joke. I don't get that. I tell you what's nothing to joke about. My pasty white baby. I have no idea what this is about.

So a dozen cans. The product's called Tanned Babe, and it's fake tan for toddlers. Okay, yeah. I've got a child, and the skin is so white you can almost see through it Oh really? It's a nightmare That's no good, that's no good at all We named our baby Albino

Oh did you? Right, good name for it So we're just wanting to spray the baby with fake tan in preparation for summer. Okay, yeah, that's fair enough. Understandable. 12 cans of that, thank you. Also, if I can order, please, half a dozen of the G-strings. Who is this? Please tell me more.

Who's playing a joke on me? Six baby G-strings, thank you Gosh, you can tell you keep a straight face You're good at this Six baby g-strings Yes, please That's what you're after? Okay And also some of the protein powder for babies as well

The gym supplements Protein powder? Yeah Okay And how much of that would you like? protein powder for babies as well, the gym supplements. Protein powder? Yeah. Okay. How much of that would you like? I'll get three kgs worth, thank you. Three kgs? Yep. And is it Ben

that's ringing up for this order? Yeah, he'll collect the order off you, Ben. Definitely Ben. Yeah, it's Ben. Okay, no worries. You look after yourself. Yeah, you too. Bye. Thanks, Clara. Bye. Let's bring Ben back in from the soundproof booth

where he's been alone with his dark, dark thoughts. How are you? I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm nervous about what the message I need to retrieve is. Okay, now you're just a, you're the owner and proprietor of a website. Okay.

And I have just placed an order. Yep. And you just need to retrieve that order of Clara, is her name. Okay. Okay I have just placed an order. Yep. And you just need to retrieve that order of Clara is her name. Okay. Okay, let's go back through. Good morning, SPL. Groupie speaking with Nadine.

Oh, hi, Nadine. Is Clara around? Ah, yeah, yeah. I'll just put you on hold for a minute. Who can I say is calling? Ah, it's Ben. Ben? Yeah. you on hold for a minute. Who can I say is calling? It's Ben. Ben? Yeah.

No problem. Thank you. Hold the line. Hello, Clara speaking. Oh, hi. My name's Ben. Hi, Ben. How are you?

I'm doing all right. Apparently one of my customers has left an order at your business, a bit odd, but anyway I was just wondering if you could pass on that order to me. Yes, definitely. So, have you got the details for Joe? I haven't got, no I haven't got many details. What was the name, sorry? So Joe, Joe Hanson. Okay, Joe Hanson, yes. Yeah. Yeah, okay. So he'd like to order. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know what he's going to order,

but it's making me smile. Sorry, it's just Nadine. I've just come back on the phone. He wanted to order 12 cans of spray tan. Yeah, 12 cans of spray tan, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Six baby G-strings. Six baby G-strings, yeah, okay. Sorry.

When do you normally take orders like this? That's all right. I understand it's a bit odd you taking my order, but that's good for my business. Taking longer and the economy stimulated, if you know what I mean, but not too stimulated in those G-strings. Okay, good to know.

Is Clara there just quickly? I just want to thank you for your time. Hello. Hello, Clara. Hello, sorry about that. That's all right, that's all right. You're busy just repeating the order. What was that again?

Oh, you want me to repeat it? Yeah, yeah. 12 cans. 12 cans, yeah. Like she said, we're not used to taking orders like that. No, no, it's sad, it's sad, that's right. It's all in my line of business. 12 cans of spray tan.

Yeah. Baby spray tan. Six baby G-strings. Oh, baby G. And three kgs of protein powder. What's a... All for babies. All for babies.

Okay, this has been unusual. Yeah, did you not know that? I didn't know I diversified into that line of work. Clara, Clara, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Have you haven't worked it out? Are you frigging serious? Oh, my goodness. I can't believe it.

We wanted to see if Jono could leave me a random message at a reception and see if they'd pass it on, and you passed the test. Oh, what do I win? You've got to win something. You're a champ. How do you feel about fake tan and baby g-strings? Oh, what do I win? You've got to win something. You're a champ. How do you feel about fake tan and baby g-strings? Oh, God, I don't know. Not good.

I do not know. Not good. Oh, my goodness. That's awesome. Hey, Clara, we're going to sort you out something. We play a game called Reception Reception to see if receptionists will take a message for us and then pass it on. And you nailed it.

Well done. Awesome. Yeah, that's so cool. Thank you. You'll be pleased to know it's not an actual business, a legitimate business. I was like, what is going on here? I didn't even know what it was.

I don't know what it is until I have to call up. That's why I have to see if I can get the message. So hold the line. We'll send you something awesome, all right? Awesome. Thank you. Thanks for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

58 days out from the election and it's been a shambles of a week in politics. A whole lot of dirty politics going on so we thought we'd find someone who actually knows what they're talking about. Heather Duplessy-Allen. How are you, lads? How are you?

We're doing all right. Thank you so much for talking to us. Shambles of a week in Parliament. You used to be based there. Are affairs and extramarital activities, are they the norm around the building? I don't want to say they're the norm, but let me tell you that you are always aware of some shenanigans going on. And even right now, I can tell you that I'm aware of some shenanigans going on. And what has just cost Ian Lee Scalaway his job, he is not the only person doing it, and even right now I can tell you that I'm aware of some shenanigans going on,

and what has just cost Ian Lee Scalloway his job, he is not the only person doing it, right down to the whole business of, you know, is it in your office type job? I think it goes to people's heads, you know, they get excited, they were doing boring jobs beforehand, then all of a sudden they've got a flat in Wellington, and everybody goes out drinking the whole time,

and it's all in New Zealand flights and stuff. And, you know, before you know it, they're kind of misbehaving. It does happen. But Heather, there's nothing legally wrong with an affair. I mean, morally, I'm not going to stand here and say that it's right. But it seemed like an interesting thing for Jacinda to get rid of someone for that. Look, I totally agree with that. I think this is really problematic.

I also, I mean, I want to say I'm not condoning that. I think this is really problematic. I also, look, I mean, I want to say I'm not condoning affairs and I think that they're really damaging and what happens to a family in that circumstance is terrible. But I think, my goodness, you know, the problem here is that what it does is all of a sudden opens up the private lives of MPs, right? So beforehand

you couldn't, it was just a thing you didn't do. You didn't throw that stuff at them. Now, if you can throw that stuff at them, and we've just been told that that is a sackable offence, having an affair in your office, now it's open slather, right? So every single one of those MPs who've had affairs, who've

had affairs in their offices will be terrified because all you need is the other guys to find out, and I don't want that to be what politics is about. I don't care about that stuff. I don't want that stuff to be aired, even on behalf of their families who have now lived through it. Yeah, you feel just awful for that, don't you? You feel that for the families and everything else that gets dragged through.

It's such a public sort of thing. So do you think this should not be in the media, this sort of? No, I don't think this should be in the media at all. And the fact of the matter is as well, can I tell you guys, look, senior Labour MPs and staff starters have known about this for weeks, if not months. We've all known about it for months. I know that they've been told and they've done nothing about it.

It is not, they don't actually have a problem by the looks of things with the actual events. Otherwise, they would have fired them ages ago. It is simply a political thing because Judith handed the Prime Minister some information and because Judith had acted when the PM gave her information and fired somebody, then the PM had to fire somebody. That's all that's happened here. Heather, I was listening to you. You had a very good afternoon show on Newstalk ZB yesterday. You had a correspondent on and her suggestion was putting all the MPs into basically quarantine, like

a lockdown individually until the election. I thought it was a great idea. Well, you know what? At this stage, it feels like it, because I just looked at the list of people who've been fired. I mean, like, it is extraordinary. Not just fired who've resigned as well, but we have lost seven MPs and ministers in the last 21 days.

That's one every three days. I mean, isn't that extraordinary? If they're going to carry on this way, I think we may have to just self-isolate them for their own good. Yeah, it's just going to end up Judith and Jacinda are going to have to form a coalition, mainly because they're going to be

the only two people left in the building. Now, another question. This wouldn't even be a thing if he wasn't married. No, okay. Well, here's where it gets tricky, right? Because, I mean, I think the Prime Minister knows this looks ridiculous to fire somebody

over having an affair. So what she's done is she has made it a little bit more complicated and she's fired him over the fact that he is the workplace relations minister. Right. So apparently, you know, he's taken this literally and put the relations into the workplace.

He's like, oh, sorry, I misread the job title. Yeah. So that's not okay. So he's gone because of that, because he should be setting an example. And the other thing is because at some stage, this woman did work within his office. So there's now the power imbalance thing. So actually, can I just remind you, though,

David Lange had an affair with one of his staff members and went on to marry them. That's right. He was fine at his job, wasn't he? Yeah, so you're saying this is the start of, well, dirty politics up until the election, 58 days away? You know what, I reckon it can go one way or the other, right? Because this has been so destructive.

It's like mutually assured destruction now between the two of them. I think that they need to make a decision, the two major parties, that it's either gloves off and we just go hard in this direction, or they realise how many MPs each of them can still lose if they carry on throwing dirt at each other and they pull back, and it's hard to know which way they're going to go. Are there some nervous MPs quaking in their pinstripe suits at the moment? Saying pinstripe suits does narrow it down a wee bit to particular people so I don't want to be like defaming anybody.

Okay, just plain no stripes, no patterned suits. Pant suits, full suits, tuxedos. Lots of suits. I have a very sweaty armpit at the minute. Wow. Heather Dupacy Allen, thank you so much for your time this morning. You can catch her every afternoon on Newstalk ZB.

I really appreciate you coming on. and lowering your standards to our show. See you here, though. You're welcome. Bye now. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. The A to Z of New Zealand.

Something we do every day on the show. We started it a few weeks ago, and well done, Jono. We're still doing it. Yeah, I thought we would have pulled out. Yeah, we have committed to nothing in our lives apart from our marriages and this. Yeah. And this is going better, this segment, than my marriage.

No, I'm kidding. The A to Z of New Zealand, we call it different town or place. We do it one a day. It's going to take us over two years to do it alphabetically. We are still in the seas. Yeah, we are. Today we head to Corrigley, which is on the Coromandel Peninsula, 18km away from Whitianga and 26km northwest of Tairua

and 3km northwest of our hearts. Yeah. Coromandel, Corriglen. Corriglen, there's not much to do there. In the early 1900s, it was named Gumtown. It had three stores, a bakery, a butcher's and a bootmaker. Now it's got a tavern and a school. Somehow over time, it has miraculously decreased the amount of stuff in the town.

So we're going through to Corrigal Inn now. Hello? Hello, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Pardon? It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Pardon? It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Yeah. How's it going? Good.

Hey, we're just calling every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day, and today we're calling Corriglen. Yep. Okay. We just wanted to know if you could tell us about the place. Yeah. Just a minute. Hello, Wendy speaking.

Hello, Wendy. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. From which radio station? The Hits. The Hits radio station. Oh, yes. We're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day, and today is Corriglen's turn.

Oh. Yeah. And we just rang your number at random and we thought you might be able to tell us about Corrigland. What would you like to know about Corrigland apart from the fact that we're having massive rainfalls? Oh, yes. Well, that's good.

That'll be good for the farmers, for the livestock, the grass, the greenery, your garden. It is. It's very good for the livestock and the grass. Absolutely. Have you been running around in the rain in your underpants? No, I have not. Okay.

That's one of life's joys. Do you want to go and do that later on today? Probably, yes. Now, correctly, I know about the tavern. They have a famous tavern that they have lots of bands playing at, right? Yeah, that's about four kilometres up the road from where we live, yes. That's on the main highway, isn't it? That's right.

27? 25. Oh, sorry. 25, John. Sorry, not 27. And what should we do? One thing we need to do if we come to Corriglen. Well, there's always the tavern, of course.

Okay. You just mentioned that, Ben. It's a pretty quiet little area. I've been to a concert at the Corriglen Tavern and they have the camping ground directly across the road, across State Highway 25. Well, that's actually a farm. Oh, a farm. People park on there and they do

despicable things at that campsite. Can I just tell you that? Oh, you probably aren't aware of them. No, I run a bed and breakfast just down the road, so I get all the nice people who go to the tavern. That's a lovely place to go and stay. You don't want to go and stay with the ferals at the camping ground,

do you? Absolutely not. Hey, what about Hot Water Beach? Oh, that's very famous. That's close by, right? About 20 minutes drive from Corrigley. It's lovely. I remember once digging a little hole

and sitting in it and there was hot water that would come in. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's what happens. And what do you, have you got like a lovely farm sort of thing? Are you milking anything there?

Are you doing any? No, we're not milking anything. We have steers and alpacas. Oh, cool. Oh, alpacas. What do alpacas eat? Grass and hay. Oh, there you go.

Hey, do you want to come for a picnic? Where? Alpaca the lunch. Oh, God. It was an alpaca joke. That's not a very good way of saying it. I usually get, from the farming community, I usually get the neck chop one, you know?

What's the neck chop? I haven't heard the neck chop alpaca joke. I don't know if it's all right for a family-friendly radio show. And now tell me, are alpacas the ones that spit in your face? No. All the camelid families spit. Oh, do they? Oh, okay.

Have you heard some alpaca spit in your face? Absolutely. Have you? That's all part of the fun. Okay. That's degrading, isn't it? Well, no. I mean, they really spit at each other more than anything.

But I just happen to be in front of them all the time. Oh, right. You've got your collateral damage. Are they spitting out of anger or out of joy? No, just warning each other, you know, that... Stay back, stay back. Get out of my face. Yeah, fair enough.

Hey, you've been wonderful. You have a lovely day in Corriglen. Lovely talking to you. Well, thank you very much. And I'll come and stay next time there's a concert at the tavern at your house, not at that filthy camping ground across the road. That's a sensible thing to do. It's a very sensible thing to do. We can both go

and see your llamas and get spat in the face. Or the alpacas. Alpacas. Love your work. Bye. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Now, our boss Todd, we spoke about this yesterday. He's been telling, introducing on the hits. Now, Boss Todd, we spoke about this yesterday. He's been telling, introducing us to everyone as a couple of great dads.

Couple of great dads. Just a couple of great dads. And we are shocking dads. Oh, no, I know. No, you keep saying this. And I do, I try my best. As I said yesterday, I was trying to say yesterday on the radio that, you know, like,

I'm definitely not perfect, but I try my best. I try, you know, like, I love my kids and I try and do a good job. I can vouch for that. He leaves the kids with a packet of chips in the car when he goes into Calendar Girls to pick up his annual calendar. No, it's not what happens. That's good parenting. Other dads would leave them without any food. Not you. I try my best. You don't help the situation because I do. And I know you try hard as well.

You just don't want to admit it for some reason. You try to be cool on the radio. Because yesterday, you're like, you're making little lunches, you're doing all that stuff. Oh, I am. I'm a pussy cat. And yesterday, you were like,

again, you were trying to look cool on the radio. I mean, I forgot the names of my kids yesterday. It's so shocking of being a dad I am.

You're not helping. I let my kids smoke. No, you don't. They're only seven. No, you don't. I was like, take up smoking. It's a great hobby.

No, you don't. Stop're only seven. No, you don't. I was like, take up smoking. It's a great hobby. No, you don't. Stop trying to be cool on the radio. Didn't you used to hate it when your mum would be like, oh, she's just trying to be cool. You're like, oh. You can't come back from that. Oh, he's just tired was another one. Oh, he's just tired.

I'm not tired. You knew deep down you were, but that would just really roll you up. But anyway, there's something I'm doing as a parent, and I just realised in the weekend that it's coming from a place with love but it sounds like it might not be the right thing. We've got friends of ours, you know

them as well, they own a bar and they run a bar and they've also got a kid around about the same age as my daughters. So we will go now and again maybe a Sunday afternoon, we'll go down and visit our friends and my daughters will get to play with their friend for half an hour, say hi to their mate as well, so they get to hang out at four o'clock in the afternoon. In a bar. In a bar.

So what I noticed in the weekend, it was about three o'clock in the afternoon, I said to the girls, my girls, I was like, hey, should we go down to the bar? And for them that means they get to hang out and play with their friend who they haven't seen for a while. But both my girls were like, yay, the bar! Woo, the bar! And I was like, uh-oh, hang on. This is not good. I mean, if they go into school and they go,

yeah, we went to the bar. Why does it have to be the bar, though? Why can't you go to Lollipop's Playland? Well, we could do that. We do do other things as well, but it was just like catching up with them because they're working and, you know, we'd go down and...

It just happens to be a bar where we can get intoxicated and the kids can drive us home. And you're not a bad dad, Ben. Thank you. After hearing that. And it's all relative to who you compare yourself to, isn't it? I mean, like, I compare you to Michael Jackson

when he hung his baby over the balcony. I'm like, well, you're a better parent than him in that particular moment. No, I do try my best. Exactly. You're better than Michael Jackson, but you're not better than Susie Cato. Okay? Or no one's better than Susie Cato. It's all who you compare yourself to. Okay, so don're not better than Susie Cato. Or no one's better than Susie Cato.

It's all you compare yourself to. Okay, so don't compare yourself to Susie Cato. Just don't look at better people than yourself. And look at the worst. And you make yourself feel better. That's been my theory all through life. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads.

She's chucked another fatty, filthy, sweaty, greasy ball of celebrity gossip into the deep fryer and get ready to clog your system. Here's producer Juliette with Spy. Thank you very much. Now, One Direction have posted on their Instagram for the first time in four years with their anniversary of, 10-year anniversary is today of them becoming a boy band group. And they just posted, you and me got a whole lot of history.

Hashtag 10 years of 1D. So everyone's like, oh my God, is it going to be a reunion? What's going on? And if it is a reunion, will Zayn be a part of it? Because he left the band. Sorry. You are so into this. You have not literally, you haven't taken a breath.

I know. Do you need a breath? Zayn is like the Victoria Beckham of One Direction to the Spice Girls you know like he's the one that ditched and there was a little bit of beef there and he didn't come back

or he was the first to leave the band oh jeez and then did you hear from her oh my god oh my god oh my god so One Direction reunion

might be happening guys and I'm quite excited by it. Oh, you can't tell. You can't tell. Smart move, though, because they were on X Factor, right, originally. And they all applied individually. And then they put them together. Yeah.

Yeah, so created a mega group out of that. And boy, yeah, they managed to buy Simon Cowell all of the V-neck T-shirts he desired for the remainder of his life. That's how he only wears one style of T-shirt, doesn't he? Yeah. And I think he has about 50 in his closet of the same exact T-shirts. He just rotates. Which makes, you know, cuts out the decision-making in the morning for him, which is great.

Yeah, I think some people are like that. They're just like Steve Jobs from the Apple founder. Well, he was the same. Sneakers, jeans, black skivvy. Yeah, and that was the thing. He's like, I don't want to need to waste time on what I choose in the morning. I've just got a uniform and put it on and I do that.

Simon Cowell threw away his cell phone, didn't he? He did. A couple of years ago. So no one can get a hold of him. And so it seems like he's rich enough that he doesn't need people

to get a hold of him. Yeah, exactly. People getting a hold of him would be a niggle for his day, I think. That's when you've clocked life, when you can try out your phone because you're just getting sick

of people contacting you all the time. And one of the reality show contestants, you may remember a show, it's called I Want to Marry Harry. Basically, a bunch of girls were conned into believing they were dating Prince Harry back in 2014. That's right. Yeah, and so...

Was it a lookalike or something? It was a lookalike, yeah, yeah. So these American girls were flown to England and they thought they were just going on a general dating show, like The Bachelor or something. And one of the girls has come to England and they thought they were just going on a general dating show like The Bachelor or something. And one of the girls has come out now and said, given all the details and what went on behind the scenes, so they arrived at this house.

They had no communication to the outside world and there were all these tabloids, like fake magazines and things saying that Harry had said that he wanted to find his princess and all these little things. And they had to see a psychologist before they went on the show and they planted the seeds. So they manipulated basically them into thinking that Harry was there.

Yeah, and one of the girls said that she tried to challenge one of the producers and be like, this isn't Harry, I know what he looks like. And the producer basically brainwashed her into thinking, nope, this is Harry, like basically tried to convince her that she was going crazy. Some of those shows, have you seen Unreal on Netflix? Which is, it's not actually a reality show. It was written by a producer who worked on, like, The Bachelorette or something. And the manipulation that goes on behind the scenes with the producers,

they don't feed them, they're tired. The contestants, that is. Wow. And they really care. Like, it's almost torture. Yeah. Some of those shows. They manipulate stuff that goes on. Well, whether half of that's true or not,

I don't know. But yeah, in that show, which is scripted, you definitely go, oh, I guess some of this might happen. The links they go to to get reality TV interesting. Are you guys doing that for your dog show?

Oh, mate, the soulless things I'm doing for this dog show. The thing with dogs is dogs will just do what they want to do. Yeah, true. But I'm getting iness things I'm doing for this dog show. The thing with dogs is dogs will just do what they want to do. Yeah, true. But I'm getting in there, I'm lifting up their little ears

going, hey, mate, do you hear what that other guy said about you? Yeah. Dogs just want to run around and sniff some things. That's all they want to do. The biggest scandal

is crotch sniffing gate, which happens to Ben quite a lot. They go up to your crotch quite a bit, don't they, the dogs? Yeah, yeah. A lot of those airport dogs that I keep some stuff

in my pocket, you know. Yeah, he's got some explaining to do. We're going to have to pixelate half the season due to that. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's John Owen Bear on the Heads. A very cold day around the country,

particularly in the south. There's a lot of snow falling the deep south of the island today. So very, very cold. You know, the disturbing part about that is at least half to three quarters of the population in the South Island are still wearing shorts. They persist

with shorts, some people all year round, don't they? For no reason. They just need to be taught about pants. Pants are just like longer shorts. We dropped off our cars yesterday just up the road and it was pouring with rain and there was a guy out there in shorts and jandals and a t-shirt and it was freezing yesterday in Auckland and I was like, some people just don't road and it was pouring with rain and there was a guy out there in shorts and jandals

and a t-shirt and it was freezing yesterday in Auckland and I was like, some people just don't roll with it. It's like, it's what I do. You're putting the bottom half

of your legs through some unnecessary trauma. Yeah, but you're right, there are people that just wear shorts all year round and I know they've heard of pants.

Yeah, I know, pants are a thing. They know it's a thing and they know they can keep their legs warm but they still resist. Farmers, truck drivers, full-time leg models.

Yeah. These are the people who wear shorts all year round. Rugby players, I guess that's another one as well, you know. Tell you who wears shorts around here, quite a lot wearer in a building with other radio stations. Jeremy Wells from Seven Sharp and breakfast host on Hauraki. Shorts all year round. He's got great calves though.

Wonderful brown legs. They go all the way up to heaven, those legs. Yeah, I know. We had a group meeting yesterday with all the radio stations and I was sitting next to him. He spent the whole time smelling me going, oh,

what is that fabric softening he has? He didn't even go away and then he'd come back like 30 seconds. Like there's an important meeting going on. I'm trying to concentrate. That's quite important. And then he'd come back again and he'd be like,

is that frangipani? And I was like, this is not helping. I'm trying to concentrate here. And then his legs as well. I mean, he's a dish. He's a dish there, Jeremy Wells. But this is a public service announcement.

To those wearing shorts, you're no lesser of a human being if you wear pants. I feel like people are like, oh, it's my thing. And then they go out there in the arctic conditions and they're like, you know, I'm fine. And you're like, you're not fine. And then they get horrid tan lines as well. Yeah, exactly.

Just think, like, if you are in shorts, just think if you put on pants, they're just like extended shorts, and then you'll be no worse off mentally speaking. You're right, shorts will go all the way down to your ankles. I'm still wearing shorts. Morning! It's Jono and Ben on the Heads.

Scrolling through your feed. Yes, just like Ian Lee's Galloway, we've been focusing on our fears overnight. These are the news stories that have broken in your feed. Scrolling through your feed. 58 days to the election in New Zealand, and it's just been like a wild ride over the last couple of days. Ian Lees-Galloway, Labour Party MP,

sacked yesterday over an affair, and National Party MP Andrew Falloon, a couple of days before that, resigned over allegations of some unsavoury text that he'd sent via text, obviously. So, yeah, a whole lot going on, a whole lot of dirty politics, it seems at the moment. And listen, if you're up to any shenanigans in Parliament, you'd be quaking in your pinstripe suit right now, wouldn't you? It seems like anything's fair game. Gloves are off. Well, in the case of Ian Lee Galloway, he did nothing legally wrong.

Morally, yeah, okay, but nothing legally and has lost his job, so that's an interesting play. It's an unsackable offence. I guess the bone of contention was, did he use his position of power? He was having an affair with a staffer who was working in his department, so I guess that could morally as an MP,

maybe any other line of business that would probably, you know, be not forgiven, but certainly not taken into a sackable offence. Yeah, but it's very interesting. Someone said, corresponded on Newstalk ZB yesterday, I thought it was quite interesting. Her theory was that we should put all the MPs into quarantine just until the election. Like, isolate them, Put them into quarantine.

They can just focus on their jobs and only their jobs. And then after that we can... But then we'd have nothing to talk about on the radio. Yeah. Is it a stereotype? Is it always the powerful men that are doing stuff like this? Never hear of Collins ramping off and having an affair or Jacinda or anyone, do you? Any of the powerful women across the world.

It's always the dumbass guys. I don't know what that says. Oh, guys, aren't we idiots? Yeah, well, there you go. They'll watch the space with the election just 58 days away. And Qantas, the last 747 flight in Australia with a Qantas plane happened yesterday. And as they said goodbye to the planes,

the pilot flew in the shape of the Qantas logo, a kangaroo. So the flight path, you can see it online, we'll check it up on the Hits Breakfast Instagram on our story, but flew in an actual kangaroo shape through the flight path. Jeez, if you're a passenger on that plane, you're like, mate, take the direct route. I'm running late for a meeting. You're doing a quirky Qantas logo

out in the middle of the Tasman. But no one knows, it's just a cargo plane. No passengers on board the plane. Oh, well that's sensible. So we go, what are we doing? Oh, hang on. Are we making the shape of a kangaroo here? We flew Qantas, remember we flew to Melbourne once on Qantas.

Hoo-wee, it was tight. I had a man eating his dinner off my back. I had my legs wrapped around the person in front of me. Remember it was so tight. Oh, it was quite a, yeah, for some reason, it definitely wasn't a 747 we were flying. No. Even compared to Jetstar, which runs a tight regime,

this was like you had your legs up by your face. It was a wonderful flight. Ben and me got very close there, didn't we? We did. I think we joined the mile-high club from our seats. And not by, you know, just because we're sitting on top of each other. And that is Scrolling Through through your feed this morning.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Synchronise Obses. This is a fun little game that we play and if you want to play it with us, 0800 the hits, that's our phone number. Hell Pizza

up for grabs. That is all yours. $40 Hell Pizza. Yeah. But we is all yours $40 Hell Pizza, but we could take it off you. Yeah, this is the proudly, unashamedly, the only game on radio where we give you a prize and then blatantly try and steal it off you by synchronising our answers Basically Juliet, producer Juliet will throw

out a topic, she gives us three seconds to both come up with an answer, if we come up with the same thing, same time, we win the prize off you, I need to get up all up inside Ben Boyce and see what he's thinking. It's hard reading your lip. I try and focus on your mouth. Oh, do you? Yeah, that's my little, but it's hard. It's, you know. Well, sometimes you can only think of one answer to one of Juliet's questions because

we only give ourselves three seconds to come up with an answer. Now and again, we've synchronised. Here was one of our favourite moments in radio. And name for me a 660 song. Don't forget your roots! Yes! Yes! And you can tell that was one of our favourite moments in radio. I love reliving that. I'll play that till the end of my days.

Welcome to the show, Marianne in Auckland, Morena. Good to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast, Marianne. Hi, how are you? Oh, good. You sound awake. Oh, wide awake. What do you do, Marianne?

I work in packaging. Oh, nice. Oh, okay. Okay, well, $40 Hell Pizza is all yours unless Jono and I can synchronise one of our three answers,

all right? Okay. Okay, so, producer Juliet, the first question. Alright, name for me a talk show host. David Littleman. I knew it was going to go old.

Bob Hope. I do try and go a bit more obscure so I can give the prize away. He doesn't like stealing prizes off listeners, which makes this whole game redundant. Okay, so so far the prize was yours. Get some fire in that little belly of yours. Okay, next question.

Name for me a Mexican dish. Quesadilla. We did it! We did it! We've got a new favourite moment in radio. Here it is. I thought you'd go nachos. I thought you'd go...

Cassadere. Marianne, it's been an absolute pleasure. You have a wonderful day packaging stuff and thank you so much for listening to the show. See you later. Oh, I'm so sorry about that. Anyway, that's how it works. He feels so bad that we've taken that prize off Marianne.

You can tell because he's all... Give me the prize. No, don't give me the prize. No, no. Ben, it's just a humphrey. Give me the prize. No, don't give her the prize. Ben, it's just a Humphrey. Give her the prize. No, don't. Hang up on her. This is the game. She knew the T's and C's. On the radio, we're not giving the prize away. Definitely give it to her.

More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's snowing in Dunedin this morning. Snowing. Jeez. And you're complaining about the cold up here. You're trying to make me feel bad? I will never And you're complaining about the cold up here. You're trying to make me feel bad? I will never feel bad about complaining about the cold weather in the North Island.

You come climatised to where you're living though, I find, don't you? We've got some dear friends who came from Invercargill and I'm like, oh, this would be summertime to you. And they're like, no, no, it's freezing. They find it freezing. And when they go back home, they're like, jeez, they can't handle it. You just get used to your environment, don't you? Yeah, you're right. I remember going to Fiji and seeing

a guy in a hoodie. It's like 40 degrees. Yeah, it was like, oh it's cold, it's winter. And I was like, oh, okay. So I'm walking around in board shorts and jandals. That's all relative, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Now speaking of being relative, people are busy, aren't they?

That wasn't even a segue in any sense of the word, but kind of tied in. People are so busy and a lot of people, thousands, hundreds of thousands of New Zealanders every day take public transport. Yeah. Buses, trains, you know the forms of public transport. You don't need me to spell them out for you.

I like it when you list them off. But there might be some single people on there and we lead such busy lives now that we don't have, you know, some people don't have time to meet significant others and have a relationship with them. So this is what I'm proposing. Public transport Tinder.

So you get on the bus. You don't know who's up for it, do you? Because everyone's just sitting there hating life on their way to work looking out the window. But if you had an app and be like, oh, okay, seat 34C. Okay. And you match with them, you go and sit with them, and you could spark a lifelong

meaningful relationship on a grotty, filthy, disease-laden bus on the way to work. What do you think about that, Ben? And on planes? Planes as well? On what? You can end up sitting... Plane Tinder. What?

You match with someone on plane Tinder and you spend the whole flight sitting next to them talking to them. Get to know each other. Yeah, what do you reckon? I mean, you're a business guy. So how am I investing in this? What do you want me to do?

This is a way to trick you into investing into this app. Yeah. What do you think, Producer Julie? No, no, don't deflect. I've asked you. I've asked you. I don't know how I feel about this, to be honest.

Why? It's really unusual. I think your heart's in the right place. It always is. Yeah, but... My question is, with Tinder, you can choose an age range, right? But what if you go on this bus Tinder and there's only members of the elderly?

And I go on and I'm like, well, I don't want anyone from that generation. Oh, no one's forcing you. You have to stand up. No one's forcing you to do anything. And not take a good seat because you don't want to sit with someone that could be matched with them. Oh, and it's not like you walk out of the bus and you have to put out. It's like everyone can make their own choices. Yeah.

But like on Tinder, you don't have to meet the person, do you? True. It's almost just seeing the profiles of who's on the bus. Yeah. So you can make a choice. The only thing is in this environment you have to awkwardly sit in the same capsule as the person you've just denied. Anyway, there's a lot of logistical

things about, I've got to go to work over here, I work at the city, but someone else works over there, but I match. You've only got to match with people that work within your On your bus route. Yeah, exactly. You know, like... But you can hit third or fourth base by the time you get off your stage.

Yeah, I always wonder about, you know, they talk about the Mile High Club, we mentioned it earlier before, about 10 years ago, someone I knew was a steward, and she was working there, and she announced it over the loudspeaker when people came out of the bathroom. Congratulations to these people that have just been in the Mile High Club and everyone clapped. She thought it was a great joke, but they went back to their seats next to their partners. Oh no!

That happened. Really? Yeah, apparently overseas is what happened. See, this wouldn't have happened with playing Tinder. You would have known who was up and available. They would have been able to play their own game. Unsanctioned playing Tinder. Yeah. Oh, there we go.

Just put that out there. We'll see if Auckland Transport pick up on it. It's a great initiative. You could also have it, it could extend to people who don't like people sitting next to them. Or if, like, warning, you're about to sit next to a talker.

You know? That's you. I'm a talker. He's definitely a talker. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Kia ora, I'm a talker. He's definitely a talker. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Kia ora, I'm Ash Thomas and this is The Beeping News.

Yes, Juliet searches for the quirkiest headlines around the world and cons our respected newsreader Ash Thomas into reading the headlines and beeping them out. Do you remember the beep test from school? Yeah. I was thinking that'd be a great name for this, the beep test. Oh, the beep test, yeah. I used to despise the beep test from school. Yeah. I was thinking that'd be a great name for this, the beep test. Oh, the beep test, yeah. I used to despise the beep test.

It was just your fitness. No, Bronco Test is apparently the new one they do now. What's that? It's similar to that, but without the beeps. It's like running on a rugby course. All the rugby players do it and some of the sports teams and stuff. And didn't Bodie have a really good time or something? Yeah, and everyone tried to beat it.

Every radio station in New Zealand tried to beat it, except for ours, because we're like, well, we couldn't beat it. Who wants to put ourselves through that punishing exercise? Welcome to the laziest radio programme in New Zealand. Proudly. Unashamedly the laziest. No, we can't do that. We'll just sit back.

Yeah, we're realistic. We don't know what our thing is that we're good at, but we know what we're not good at. In reflection, what radio hosts thought they were going to beat Bowdoin Barrett? True. Did anyone beat him? Three radio stations did it, attempted to do it. Oh, but didn't beat him.

No, no, no. But three of them gave it a shot. I'm a slobby radio announcer. I can give that a crack. All right, so our first story. Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton says his bulldog Roscoe is now... Now a fully licensed Formula One driver. I'm saying he's running for the election of the Labour Party.

That wouldn't be surprising. Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton says his bulldog Roscoe is now fully vegan. So he doesn't give his dog any animal products. And apparently his fur is softer, his arthritis is better. But Lewis Hamilton himself is a vegan as well, so he's probably just getting the whole family, all of his pets vegan.

Interesting. Yeah, I know. No, the pet will think it's above all the other ones now. I know. Condescending. You have to mention every time a guy says that. No, I'm sorry, I'm vegan. You're like, all right, I get it.

It's a vegan-friendly restaurant. Yeah. Next one is... Student begs to retake exam after... falls onto keyboard and logs her out. After fingers fall onto keyboard

and log her out? That probably is the real story. I'm going to say a drunk Jono Pryor. Student begs to retake exam after meatball falls onto keyboard and logs her out. What? She was eating a meat exam after meatball falls onto keyboard and logs her out. She was eating a meat sub, meatball sub,

and while she was sitting this online exam and then it fell on the keyboard and she had to email her professor and say, look, I've dropped a meatball on my keyboard. Luckily, she took a Snapchat as it happened, so she had to send that through as proof, and then she got to reset the exam. So what a good excuse. They'd carry a bit of weight when falling, wouldn't they?

They'd pick up a bit of velocity of meatball, wouldn't it? But walking out is not just a simple one key thing normally, is it? No, you need to go command, power. No, two meatballs simultaneously fell and then one other meatball fell on the space bar. Can I just go back to your answer? Why am I drunk over at a student's house? Please.

You're not painting me in a good light, mate. Yeah, sorry. I'm not falloon, okay? All right, yeah, fair enough. Man blames cat for getting wife... Covered in cat hair. A fry pan for anniversary present like I did. Man blames cat for getting wife pregnant.

Now, I don't know, it sounds weird. It sounds weird. Well, yeah, it does. Basically, the cat got into the bedside table and got its claws into the protection. And what happened is the wife was pregnant and they were like, why, how did this happen? What the hell?

And then he rummaged through the drawer when it was light during the day and was like, what's going on? And saw that... The cat's claws. Yep. They were all pricks and holes in them. And so... Had poked holes into the contraception.

Yes. Yeah. So that child will be thankful for the cat to be alive later on in life. Well, there we go. There's some of the quirky news stories that'll be happening in the world. We didn't get any. Once again, we didn't get a single one right. We never have. And we still keep persisting with this game.

One day we'll get one. And the beep test, as you now call it. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. My daughter Indy, eight years old. Wonderful eight-year-old. Yeah, she's great. But she does a thing which I really enjoy.

But I also don't know if it's quite correct. She will make a list. Like I'll say, put a jumper on. She'll say, well, one, I'm not cold. But then that'll be it. She'll never go to two or three. You need to at least have three or four examples if you're starting a list.

She will do that. She'll often go around going, can you do this thing? And she goes, well, one, it's not happening today. And that'll be it. And I'll be like, what's two? What's three? And she'll say, well, that's it. I'm like, I don't know if you could list off a list by going, well, one, it's not happening today. And that'll be it. And I'll be like, what's two? What's three? And she goes, well, that's it.

And I'm like, I don't know if you could list off a list. But I go, well, one, because you expect more. Yeah, well, you can't start a list and stop it, can you? But she was like, well, it's not a list. In my head, it's just like, this is my thing. Well, one. Well, then don't say one. Just go, it's not cold outside.

That's what I said. Yeah. But she's like, no, fine. I'm just saying the things. And I go, well, one, that's not happening. She is an eight-year-old inside a 48-year-old's body. She puts herself to bed. Oh, I know, she does all the time. Oh, better turn in,

getting a bit tired. She'll do that. Oh, like, we'll be sitting and watching a movie on Friday night or whatever and she goes, alright, I'm off to bed. I'm like, but you can stop. You don't have to get up in the morning. She's like, yeah, I'm tired. She's like, no, Dad, one, I'm tired. And then walks off. I'm like, okay.

Away you go. Does she voluntarily do her own homework and everything like that? Is she very like an angel child? Relax, relax. She'll wake up in the morning, make a bed. She's like, I've done a workout in my room. I've done this thing.

I'm like, okay. It's like military pursuit. One, she's up and ready to go. And two, I haven't made her do it. What a diligent child. I know, it's like just chill but she's good. Yeah, great. That's a hell of a deal. You're sort of like a North Korean child you're raising there for the

military. You put her in the military, the New Zealand military. Coming up after 7 o'clock A to Z of New Zealand, we're phoning every town and city in Aotearoa. Yesterday was Cooper's Creek. We are in North West Auckland and we are operating a vineyard and winery. You're the winery

named after the area. Yes, that's correct. I don't know, you know I don't drink wine. Neither do I. Really? Ben, you're a bit of a wine connoisseur. I wouldn't say I was a wine connoisseur, but I do enjoy sitting around and having a wine. You're talking about sophisticated stuff.

You never really drill down on what that sophisticated stuff was. You're like, we're just talking about sophisticated stuff. You're just like, Gucci, Armani. Yeah, those sorts of things. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. She's had her vitamin C tablets my heads. Spy. No, what's up? Spy.co.nz.

She's had her vitamin C tablets this morning. Vitamin celebrity. Her immune system's a train wreck, though, but that doesn't matter, because here she is with the latest spy, producer Juliette. So a lot has happened in the last 24 hours regarding Kanye West running for president, kind of going on a lot of Twitter rants.

So he went on Twitter yesterday and basically said he's been trying to divorce his wife, Kim Kardashian, ever since she met with a rapper named Meek Mill because he thinks she was having an affair. But in fact, they were actually discussing prison reform. It was a business meeting. I think Meek Mill was in prison, wasn't he? He was wrongly incarcerated.

And Kim Kardashian's actually lobbied with the White House to get people out of prison, wrongly incarcerated. And that's something she's passionate about. He also referred to Kris Jenner, Kim's mother, as Kris Jong-un. And so everyone's kind of thinking, is he okay? What's up? And Dave Chappelle, American stand-up comedian, after he went on Twitter, he's flown to Kanye in Wyoming

to be with him and give him support because I don't think he's with his family. Not sure. And then Kim Kardashian has spoken out about Kanye West's bipolar disorder for the first time. She's never mentioned it before. And she said, which can be relevant for anyone who knows someone with bipolar disorder,

those that understand mental illness or even compulsive behaviour know that the family is powerless unless the member is a minor. People who are unaware or far removed from this experience can be judgmental and not understand that the individual themselves have to engage in the process of getting help no matter how hard the family and friends try.

So that's kind of what's been happening in the last 24 hours. It's constantly changing. Kanye's also meant to be releasing an album tomorrow, so it's all happening at once. We were just talking about this during the song. It seems as though, and who am I to say anything, but it seems as though these episodes

come about when he's about to release an album or has just released an album. These crazy sort of manic states. And is it something to do with the creativity of making that album? He just put so much into it because he's a genius. There's no two ways about it. Right.

And that takes so much out of him that then this triggers his bipolar disorder. I don't know. Exactly. And he has been open in the past that when he takes his meds for his bipolar disorder, he says it sort of deflates his creativity so he doesn't want to take them. So maybe he's off the meds to make the album and then this

is the snowball effect. Exactly, exactly so really hope he is getting a lot of support from family and friends and hopefully he can come out on top of this. Well it sounds like he's kind of isolated himself a wee bit. So it's good that Dave Chappelle the comedian's over there trying to help him out at the moment. Yeah, it sounds like he's kind of isolated himself a wee bit. So it's good that Dave Chappelle, the comedian's over there trying to help him out

at the moment. Yeah, yeah. So hopefully it'll be only positive from here and obviously wishing him luck and healing. He really sticks with Twitter though, doesn't he?

He does. There's Instagram now, there's TikTok. He's been loyal to Twitter. Yeah, well him and, I was going to say him and Trump not together, but Trump, he's another one.

Trump loves Twitter too. He loves Twitter. Everyone else has gone off Twitter. Yeah, well, him and, well, I was going to say him and Trump not together, but Trump, he's another one. Trump loves Twitter too. He loves Twitter. Everyone else has gone off Twitter. Twitter's dying apart from those two who are keeping it afloat. Keeping it alive, aren't they? Yeah, if it weren't for Kanye or Trump, it would be gone.

For sure. For more spy, head to thehits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Why is it going to be a good day? A beautiful day, as you two would say. We want to end and Ben on Facebook. Why is it going to be a good day? A beautiful day as you two would say. We want to end the show on a positive

note and find out right now what's going to be a good day. And we guarantee it is going to be a good day and if you find a better day, we'll beat it by 15%. That's our guarantee. Why is it going to be a good day for you today, Benjamin Boyce? Because as a Warriors fan, there's a chance we might sign Sonny Bill

Williams. A chance. He's probably going to go to the Roosters, but there's a chance. And that's why today we've got a chance. fan, there's a chance we might sign Sonny Bill Williams. A chance. He's probably going to go to the Roosters, but there's a chance. And that's why today we've got a chance. Well, let's go to Tauranga Tony. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. It's wonderful to have you with us at the end of the show. Why is it going to be a good day for you? It's going to be a great day for me today.

I'm helping people going through oncology treatments, helping them get rid of some of the pain and discomfort in their bodies through massage. And it's also the last day of my 40s. So I'm a decade more older than I was when I went through the treatment. Oh, what good are you? Oh, so you had cancer? Yes. And now you massage cancer patients?

Yes. What a lot of... Giving back. That's awesome. That is beautiful, Tony. Jeez, I feel like a horrible human being when I talk to people like you. You're not.

You keep us up in spirits. That's a wonderful thing that you're doing and enjoy your last day in your 40s and we're going to see you double pass to the movies, Reading Cinemas, okay? Awesome, thank you. I have a question. Do masseuses get sore hands? Well, I actually, okay? Awesome, thank you. I have a question. Do masseuses get sore hands?

Well, I actually, through the treatments that I have for cancer, I have osteoarthritis in my thumb, but I treat it myself so that I can do the work that I do. Oh, what a lovely lady, Tony. Thanks so much for listening. You go and have a wonderful day. Also in Tauranga as well. Jeez,

our Tauranga audience phoning through in droves this morning, all two of them. Kimbo, welcome. Hi. Good to have you on.

Why's it going to be a good day for you, mate? I'm officially 1,000 days clean from alcohol, drugs, and sex today.

1,000? 1,000. Well done. That's impressive. Were you addicted to all three because you had the three-peat going on000? 1,000. Well done. That's impressive. Were you addicted to all three? Because you had the three-peat going on there. Not so much the alcohol, but I was definitely addicted to drugs and the other one. Yeah, right.

And so you sought treatment? Yes, I did, yep. From a nice clinic here in Tauranga. That is amazing. You must feel really good about yourself. Yeah, I do. And today I'm also going to be videoing my story to help others who are going through the same thing see a better life. That's amazing.

What a heck of a journey you've been on. A thousand days. Well done. That's a huge effort. Huge effort. And it's not only obviously it's reaped huge benefits in your own life, but I imagine your friends and family must be much happier as well. Yeah, definitely. I didn't have my kids at the start

of this journey and I do now. That's amazing, Kim. Well done on turning your life around, mate. That's great. Thank you. A double pass to the movies. Reading cinemas is yours as well. You have a great day. Well done. That is our show for Thursday. Thank you so much for listening. What a show. I'm going to make like Todd Muller and have a cup of tea and a lie

down. Taking it out of me. On the show and continue out the day on the hits, your next chance at 10 o'clock to live free of your food, petrol and power bills for an entire year, which is an awesome thing.

That is. Tomorrow on the program, Crusaders coach Scott Robinson, breakdancing Scott Robinson joins us on the program as well. Never spoken to him. He seems like a good guy. No,

head of the big super rugby games that are happening this weekend. Looking forward to that and we're looking forward to being back in tomorrow, 6 o'clock. Aren't you, Jono? Aren't you? I'll see you then. What more Jono would bet?

You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app.