Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - July 30 - News In Beeps, Reception Reception, What Was Your 'Oh Oh' Moment?

Episode Date: July 29, 2020

Mooooorning! Or afternoon or evening... whenever you're listening. So we towed Mike Hosking's car yesterday and then realised we don't have a set of keys to use his car... whoops. We called him and verrryyyy politely asked if he could give them to us. Fair to say if he didn't think we were idiots before, he does now. Reception reception made a comeback and we called a lovely lady whose name also happens to be Lovely! Finally, what was your "uh oh..." moment? If you missed yesterday's podcast, comedian Paul Ego told a hilarious story about how he accidentally swallowed a dental instrument. That was his biggest "uh oh" moment and we had some bloody great callers who shared theirs too. Happy Thursdeeeee!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast on your Thursday. It's great, isn't it? Although it's not a Thursday everywhere in the world, Ben. We always go happy Thursday, but you know, sometimes if I'm in Mozambique, for example, it might be a Wednesday or a Tuesday. Yeah. It would never be a Tuesday. How far away from... Oh, that's good.

The time zone. What's the furthest away time zone? Because New Zealand is the first country to see daylight, isn't it? I think it's one of the first. Yeah. I think we like to claim it, but... We shouldn't have fished it. Well, we've been trading off that for years.

Do we not own the first daylight in the world? Well, yeah. So we claim, just looking online, we claim we're the first country in the world? Well yeah, so we claim, just looking online, we claim we're the first country in the world to see the sunrise. Right. But the first country to ring in the new year is actually Samoa. So Samoa get to the new year beforehand, but we see sunrise

before them because of the curved shape of the world. Oh, so it's a bit of a contentious win that one, isn't it? Technically speaking, Samoa should lay claim to that. Yeah, well, they get the first New Year's. I don't know, New Year's here before anywhere else. It's dark.

Yeah, well, we get the sunlight. Look at us over here with our sunlight. We're number one, baby. We're number one. And then I'm just looking because I asked how far behind is the last place day and time country in the world. Oh, yeah. And so no one is more than two days behind us. There's a few sitting on Wednesday.

So as far as I can see right now, Seattle in America at 2.33 p.m. Wednesday is as far away from where we are as you can get. Oh, so everyone's just having their Wednesday or their Thursday. Wednesdays or Thursdays at the moment, but we're enjoying it. We're looking forward to Friday. We're already thinking about Friday.

If you're in Seattle, you're like, jeez, I'm in the hub day. I'm in the balls deep in it this week. Yeah, well, there we go. Enjoy the rest of your Wednesday, if you've still got that going, and your Thursday. I've made this quite confusing. Anyway, enjoy the podcast today. Whatever day it is.

Yeah, we take Mike Hosking, respected broadcaster in New Zealand. He hosts the number one show on radio, the Newstalk ZB Breakfast Show, and we take his car, his reaction today on the podcast. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jotterwood Band on the hits. Now, for the last week, we've been talking about Mike Hosking,

who does the Newstalk ZB Breakfast Show, respected broadcaster, the top radio show in the country. Producer Juliette parks her car next to Mike's normally in the garage here at work, and he's got a fancy European car every day. Every week. Switches his European cars like he changes his European fancy loafers on his feet.

But Mike works upstairs at Newstalk ZB. But down here in Losertown, we've been planning over the last few days to tow his car from the car park and then lend it out to you for whatever you may need it for. You can book it. And so yesterday, Ben, you and me, we had an appointment in the garage,

not our usual appointment of siphoning petrol from people's cars. No, this time we had a tow truck booked and we took, while Mike Hosking was on air, we took his car. Into the tow truck goes our hero. I'm nervous. And out of the garage goes the Jaguar. This has been a successful towing, New Zealand.

Thanks to Dane at Super City Towing for getting rid of it. So that was just before nine o'clock. Mike finishes his show at nine. Yeah, that's right. And so he came down to the garage. We had some cameras and some recording devices rolling to get Mike Hoskins' reaction. Otherwise known as microphones.

Yeah, or recording devices. Sounds a bit more high tech, you know, stealthy. And we got Mike Hoskins' reaction when he noticed his Jaguar I-Pace was missing. Hi, Mike. G'day, mate. Where the f*** is it? Mike's reaction. Yeah, he didn't look happy. No'day, mate. Where the f*** is he? Mike's reaction?

Yeah, he didn't look happy. No, he didn't. He looked taken back. Well, as you would be. I mean, you'd be like, where's my car? We've got a couple of goofballs coming over. G'day, mate. Are you a fully grown man still pranking?

Yeah, what are you doing, guys? So, yeah, but we didn't just take his car and leave him with no option of getting home. We're not monsters. No. We provided a temporary vehicle for him, a rental, if you will, a loaner. Yeah, and now we've got Max, who works here with us on the show. One of his mates had a red car that they weren't using.

And so we thought, red, you know, labour, let's make it into a labour vehicle. Because Mike loves labour. Yeah. He loves Jacinda Ardern. Yeah, I think so, right? And then we put Labour signage all over the red car as well. Is this yours? This is yours.

We've got it for you. Yeah, yeah. Where is my car? This one's just as good, right? The car's safe. It'll come back. The car will come back. So what are you saying?

You've stolen my car and this is all I know? No, we've borrowed your car. Where is it? It's in a secret location and it'll come back eventually. Have you filled the tanker? Filled the tanker. Yeah. A man of the people.

Doesn't need premium either. 91's fine. Saving money. Everyone's happy. And that was him. He almost ran over the camera operator. Speeding out of the garage. Yeah. And so that was He almost ran over the camera operator Speeding out of the garage Yeah

And so that was it The successful towing We have Mike Hoskey's car It's definitely not in Ben's garage Definitely not No It's not It's in a secret location

Somewhere around That's not Ben's garage That's not my garage I just want to clarify that So that secret location Is not my garage You're right Johnny So if you want to win the car

Well first we need to get the keys. Yeah, and awkwardly we had to, after he left, we had to call him and ask if we could have the keys. We'll play that for you later in the show. But at this stage, we have Hosking's car. You can borrow it. What a win. You can live like Mike. Not a morning person.

Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Let's look at some of the big news from around the world. Yes, these are the big stories that have broken overnight, and we lightly dust over them to sort of inform you, but maybe you leave more confused than you came. That's right, and one of the biggest news stories going around here in New Zealand, a man arrested for trying to smuggle $2.2 million of cigarettes into the country.

That's a lot. Well, mind you, they're very expensive now. One of the highest prices in the world in New Zealand. Yeah, you're paying $35 a packet, so quite profitable if you get them through, I imagine. It's the largest ever tobacco seizure. He tried to evade $2.72 million in duty in GST, so that's what he's done for. Where did he have them?

I don't know. It seemed like a lot. In suitcases. A weird time to do it, because there's what he's done for. Where did he have them? I don't know. It seemed like a lot. In suitcases. I had a weird time to do it because there's hardly anyone coming into the country. But you remember years ago when your parents or whatever would be going overseas and they'd be like, you had to bring back a case of cigarettes for someone? Oh, even the children

did. You'd give them to your kids and they'd put them in their little Dora the Explorer backpacks and you'd bring back cartons of cigarettes. Because it was so cheap, everyone was like, you've got to bring back a carton. Who wants a carton of cigarettes? Just come back in the country. So cheap it was almost worth taking up smoking, wasn't it? It became such a big thing.

I remember my parents talking around with their mates, we'll bring you back a carton. You want a carton? I can get you a carton. Did your parents smoke? No, no, not at the time. But they felt like it was like they had to bring back a carton just because it was so cheap.

You weren't getting your money's worth. I used to smoke like terribly. We'd go through, like we'd go overseas and go through a carton in two weeks sort of thing. Yeah. But then I'd end up

with very yellow fingers from all the nicotine. Yeah. And I'd have to bleach my, I'd dip my fingers in bleach. And one time I left, I left the glass of bleach on the bench at home

and mum thought it was just a glass of water and drank it. And I just heard, in the kitchen. She's like, why would you do this? I was like, why would you drink a random glass of water? Yeah, I feel like you're both at fault. Yeah, we're 50-50 equal.

Yeah, you shouldn't have left it out there. She should just go around and go, oh, this looks good. I'll just chuck that. I didn't pour this glass, but I'll drink it. Very trustworthy. Yeah,'t pour this glass, but I'll drink it. Very trustworthy. Yeah, as well as that, NASA in America have been spending a lot of money developing a perfume that smells like space.

When you said this, I thought it was going to be like the smell of the inside of an astronaut's spacesuit. Yeah, well, it's not far from it, really. It seems like a weird mix. Because they'll be trying to work out for other astronauts going over there to what the smell of space is like so they can go, oh, that's what it's going to be for some reason. Oh, so they're used to it when they get there.

Yeah. And it says it's the smell of seared steak, raspberries, and rum. Which are three things that you wouldn't pick out as an odour. No, you're right. But that is the perfume that's been backed on sort of a Kickstarter fund as well. There's a lot of money going into that. So you could be able to spray on the smell of space on your skin. I tell you, we towed Mike Hosking's car yesterday because we're going to give you the chance

to borrow it. And did you smell Mike Hosking? No. Oh, my God. Yeah, he smells pretty amazing. Did you smell him, Judy? No, I didn't get close enough, unfortunately. No, he doesn't let you get close to him. That's why. Yeah, he doesn't. No, no. But he just smells magnificent. He smells like a. Do you smell him, Judy? No, I didn't get close enough, unfortunately. No, he doesn't let you get close to him.

That's why, yeah, he doesn't. No, no. But he just smells magnificent. He smells like a better class of person. He does. He does. I smell like a homeless person compared to my husky. I always love that story.

Apparently it's a myth, but in the 60s, you know, the whole space race, and America was looking at, and they spent apparently millions on designing a pen that would work in space because they were worried that pens wouldn't work. And then the Russians used a pencil. That was the big story that was going around. But apparently it's a myth. Yeah, because I've been told that.

I always thought that when I was at school. I was like, oh, they spent millions on this. But now they're just spending millions on inventing perfume. So there you go. Well, that's a well worth, it's a worthwhile investment. We'll be living in space soon. You reckon? Well, no, I'll be dead before we live in it. I'm dying in a couple of years, but

you know, Juliet, you might live in space. Yes, I've always wanted to go, so winning. Because they're just sending rockets up all the time now. New Zealand's firing up. Yeah, we are. We're part of the space race, so. We're coming last in the space race, but we're part of it. We're still part of it. It's like the it it's like the Olympics we're giving it a go

we're participating and that is the news from around the world over the last 24 hours like starting your day without your morning coffee it's Jono and Ben on my heads

nearly 250,000 Americans investigating whether they can qualify to come to New Zealand that's leading the news today the answer's no me and Winston Peters have said it

I was going to say alright all right, Winston Peters. But in some other headlines, we need to work out right now. Kia ora, I'm Ash Thomas, and this is the B***ing News. Yes, producer Juliet takes some of the quirkiest news headlines from around the world and inserts a sound which holds a consistent pitch over some of the words and makes it very complicated for us to decipher what's being said, Ben. Yeah, a beep. A beep noise.

Yeah, otherwise known as a beep in the industry. Yeah, she beeps out a word and we have to try and work out what the news headline was. These are legitimate news headlines from around the world. Yes, here we go. Woman quits job to earn six figures a month acting as a d*** on OnlyFans. Acting as a something on OnlyFans. Woman quits job to earn six figures a month acting as a something on OnlyFans. Acting as a something on OnlyFans. Woman quits job to earn six figures a month acting as a female who finally got the pay equality she deserves on OnlyFans.

That might be good. I reckon she's like acting as Mike Hosking's car sales agent, you know? Oh, yeah. Someone selling that or Sonny Bill's NRL agent or something. Woman quits job to earn six figures a month acting as a dog on OnlyFans. Okay, well, I wouldn't have guessed that in 100 years. That's a niche market, isn't it? Yeah, and if you don't know what OnlyFans is,

it's basically a site where if you're a content creator, you post things that your subscribers will pay you to post. So it's kind of turned into a service where people post a bit raunchy photos. Oh, there's a lady here at work we know. Lovely Athena, she's doing it. She just doesn't post loads. It's just photos of her feet. She earned three grand last week. Three grand?

I'll put my manky corn-laden feet up there. Earn a couple of bucks. So yeah, there are apparently some people who like girls acting as dogs on OnlyFans that they'll pay to see. I was just reading about that, OnlyFans. Do you know they have 200,000 new users every 24 hours, this website? Really?

By 200,000 new people signing up to it. Not to create content, but to find. Just to find things that they're interested in. And they've paid out 750 mil to all the people that make content on the website. Wow. So they're obviously doing quite well. We need to find a niche market, Ben, you and me. Maybe they do better in these times with coronavirus and lockdown.

People are like, hey, you know, where can I get my shots of people looking like dogs? Maybe there's a market for people who enjoy heads that look like light bulbs. I could get in there. Good. Yeah, you'd actually make quite a lot of money from that, I think. Or naked mole rats, producer Juliet, as you've called me before. Oh, wonderful. All right, next here's news headlines.

Australian pub bans *** for bad behaviour. Australian pub bans Elf and Irene from Home and Away for bad behaviour. Well, there's so many choices. Is he right, though, firstly? No, you're not. Oh, damn it. I've never been right. I've never once got this game correct. So many drunken choices in Australia,

bad behaviour. You've got Russell Crowe, NRL players, Shane Warne, but I'm going to go the Wiggles, just for a surprise. Oh, okay. Here we go. Australian pub bans emus for bad behaviour. Now, what? When are we going to get this game right? This is my bugbear with this game.

We've been playing it for six weeks now, and emu's been banned from the pub. Yeah, so in the Australian Outback, there were a pair of local emus, and they'd often just come in and just wander around, but then they started eating people's food, doing their business on the floor for the humans to then clean up afterwards,

and so they were like, no, we have to ban them, so they had to fence it all up and whoosh them away. That's why they're like, we've got Russell Crowe in here already doing that. We don't need emus adding to the mess as well. Exactly. You can imagine the emus like putting on different shirts like you would or you'd try and sneak back in after you'd been kicked out of the... No, it wasn't me. I'm wearing a different shirt.

I went around the corner and put on my mate's shirt. Now he's wearing my shirt. And we thought we'd bamboozle you at 3 o'clock in the morning. A sober bouncer going, look. Guys, come on. Surely you've got more respect for me than that. Hey, thank you very much, Juliet. That is the news in beef.

Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben on the hits. Yeah, Jono and Ben on the hits. The home of Mike Hosking's car, which we now have in our possession, and we'll be giving away to you more on that very shortly. Ben Boyce, I have Venetian blinds at home. Now, I've decided over a number of years,

having to navigate Venetian blinds, that they are a scourge on society. They're very tough. We were trying to do some, I was trying to open some for work. We were trying to do some filming in the weekend, a couple of weekends ago, and I just could not nail it. No, and no one can. No human can actually nail it.

I don't know why there's two strings, and I don't know what human ever in the history of humankind has ever wanted just one side of the blinder. Yeah, yeah. Who's like, actually, today I won't open the whole blind. I'll just go, Just the right hand side Just on an angle There you go Just put all the way up to the top

And the rest can just hang down Because that looks good You're right It shouldn't just be one Why is that even a function Of the Venetian blind You pull it up You pull it down

Because I was I was trying to do it It took me like 25 minutes The other day I was filming you And it was bringing me much joy Because I have battled With Venetian blinds

You've got to get the right angle You've got to like I don't know what we've done To the Venetian people That they've put this On the rest of the world They't know what we've done to the Venetian people. They've put this on the rest of the world. They're from Venice, the Venetians. Right.

And they have a very, like, what was wrong with just a piece of material that you pulled to the left or right? They did well. Curtains. Yeah, I don't mind the fact you can kind of turn it and they kind of give you like the Kanye glasses you used to have, the shutter effect. I don't mind that. You like peeking.

I don't mind peeking through. Iing. I don't like peeking through. I quite like the little feeling of peeking through and you're looking through. But you're right, as far as the angle up and down. You need a master's in civil engineering to negotiate a Venetian blind. Yeah, you do. Yeah.

Because I have video evidence. It will replay of Ben Boyce who was getting very frustrated. Do you mind if I put that on social media? You can put it on social media. You can. Because honestly, I was trying my hardest to do this thing. And then you did it first pop. And they're impossible to clean.

They get all dirty too, the Venetian blinds. Oh, yeah. Just what's wrong with curtains? Yeah. Why are they there? Someone actually 4487 on the text, you probably can tell us. There's probably a really good reason why they exist. Yeah, I was just thinking, you know how you said they were hard to clean?

I'm pretty sure there's like a device now that's got lots of different, like, it's almost like a hand thing with... Claws. So you can just... Rub right along them, yeah. At all at once, so you can nail like five at a time, if that makes sense.

That's probably a very bad description. Yeah, I know what you mean. If I added up all of the minutes of my life that I've spent navigating Venetian blights, I've probably knocked 10 years off my life in frustration. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram.

Hey, Paul Ego, we had him in the studio the other day. Actually, tonight, Stand Up Aotearoa at 8 o'clock TV2. They're doing a live stand-up show for the essential workers. Yeah, very cool thing they're doing tonight. So check it out. Rhys Darby, Ursula Carlson, Paul Ego, as you mentioned before, a whole host of funny people. And when Ego was in the other morning,

he shared the story of when he went to the dentist. This is amazing. So I needed to get a root canal done, and they have these tiny little files and as they were filing out the inside of the tooth, he lost hold of it and it dropped into the back of my throat. And because my mum I'd always been raised to eat everything that was

put in front of me, I coughed and swallowed it. And I tell you what, the last words you want your dentist to say are, uh oh. So yeah, I drove to hospital and had to wait in the A&E for five hours. There's people coming, a guy come in who'd smashed his thumb with a hammer

and he was just bleeding all down his wrist. There was a guy come in and had fallen off his skateboard and had fractured his ankle. It was out of the wind. And I'm just sitting there and the guy had smashed his thumb and it was bleeding everywhere. Turned around to me and he said,

what are you in for, mate? And I went, I swallowed a dental instrument. Such a great story. So we wanted to know off that, what was your uh-oh moment? Like, I remember Jono and I, we went fishing one time. We were not fisher.

Fisher people? Yeah, fisher people. That's correct these days. In 2020, they're fisher people, Ben. We're not really people that should be out there doing nautical things. And you and I were filming. We were on a boat and they put the boat in the water and then jonah went uh-oh and you had in your hand the bung yeah i didn't really yeah i know we see to the guy who owned it matt watson

who's a well-known fisherman we're like a fisher person sorry uh we said hey is it meant to be water coming in and he was at the top of the he ramp. And he went uh-oh. He was sprinting down the boat ramp, dived into the water like something of Baywatch or Bondi Rescue, and had to swim out to us. And he's like, you mean to plug this in? I was like, no one told me. I just thought I'd pull it out and play with it. So that was our uh-oh moment.

Oh, my goodness me. Let's head to Christchurch. Tony's with us. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Tony, what was your uh-oh moment? How you going, guys? Well, when I was 15, I'd just got my Zealand's Breakfast. Tony, what was your uh-oh moment? How you going, guys? Well, when I was 15, I'd just got my learner's licence. You know, as a 15-year-old, the first thing you want to do is get a car.

So I went and seen a mate of mine who I knew was selling an old Hillman Hunter and took it for a test drive and picked up a couple of mates, went thrashing on a gravel pit. And as I come around this corner, I ripped on the handbrake, which had come off of my hand, and I was looking at it as we hit this gravel bank and went rolling off to the side. The handbrake came off. Yeah, literally, as I ripped it up,

because they're on the right-hand side in the old Hunters, and I ripped it up, and it just literally come off my hands. I was like, oh. Oh, that is a great moment. Uh-oh. That's a beauty.

15 is so young to be driving. Yeah. I mean, I shouldn't have been driving at 15. moment. Uh-oh. That's a beauty. 15 is so young to be driving. I shouldn't have been driving at 15. 15? Thank you very much, Tony. Appreciate that. Sarah's just texted saying my boss sent out a big group email to the whole company. I was meant to

forward it on to my friend and I said how the hell does she still have a job? What a douche. But accidentally hit reply all. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Let's go to Michael. Uh-oh.

What happened to you in Wellington, Michael? What was your uh-oh moment? Kia ora, boys. So, boosted up to the coast and my boss bought like a $6,200 jet ski. Me and my other mate jumped on and we boosted over to Kapiti Island just for a look. Just as it hit dark and then the uh-oh came in when we stopped. Couldn't see the island. Trying to decide what we wanted to do.

And no one else put the bungs in so we capsized. He uh-oh'd then. That was a big old F word. We had to swim it 200 meters to Kapiti Island and stay there the night. With the jet ski? Oh my goodness. Yeah, we made like a massive bonfire. No one saw us.

The next day, we got, like, one text message, like, bro, you coming to work? Like, no one gave a S at all about us, you know? Why did you not end up on the news? Yeah. I know, bro. We had to, like, give a little koha to the island, and they made us, like, bacon and, like,

vinegar-less poached eggs. That's incredible. But it's also humbling to go, no one cared about us. No one gave a shit. Thank you, Michael. Appreciate it. Welcome, brother. Have a good time, my friend.

Take a last one. Let's head to Hamilton. Mike's on the phone. What was your moment, Mikey? Yeah, so me and my wife decided to spice things up with a bit of bondage. So her hands were tied behind her back. Anyway, as she's play fighting and fighting me off, she tripped over and as she bounced off the corner of the couch

and then the floor. And I heard the crack. My first thought was, uh-oh. Took her to the hospital and broken shoulder in three places. Because she was hanged up. Find her back. Oh, yeah, yeah. When you started this, I was like, oh, they tried a curry night or something,

spicing things up. Yeah, that's exactly what I was doing. Bit of a hot tikka masala. Yeah. Oh, wow. Exactly what that was, Jono. And so have you been back to that realm again, Mike? Oh, a couple of times, but yeah, sort of not quite to that extreme.

You had to resign. Had to retire from that. Oh, jeez. Okay, well, yesterday, thank you for your calls. I appreciate it. Wake up full of shame. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Mike Hosking's car, it's long gone from the garage, the work garage.

He works in the same building as us on Newstalk ZB. Respected broadcaster Mike Hosking. Yeah, he's upstairs right now eating sun-dried tomatoes and bruschetta and biscotti and other Italian things as well. Yeah, so yesterday, around about quarter to nine, while Mike Hosking was still doing his show, we took his car from the work garage. There we go. There goes the Jaguar.

It's happening. It's going. It's going. We've got the car. We have got Mike Hosking's fancy Jaguar, and we're taking it out of the garage here at work. This has been a roaring success, probably a highlight of my radio career, Ben Boyce.

It might also be the end of your radio career, too. We're quite shouty, aren't we, in the garage? It was very exciting. Yeah, it was very exciting. I don't know if you could tell because we were shouting. So the car was on a tow truck. We took it out of the garage. We've got it in a secret location,

Mike Hosking's Jaguar I-Pace. Yeah, that's definitely not Ben's house. Definitely not. We took it out of the garage. We've got it in a secret location. My Croskings Jaguar I-Pace. Yeah, that's definitely not Ben's house. Definitely not. We just need to clarify that. Yeah, no. If anyone's looking for it. It's not at. It's not my place.

Look anywhere else apart from there. Definitely not in my garage. But the problem is that we, well, we don't have the keys, do we? No. And this is something you raised Friday, I think you raised this. Yeah. And then you raised it again Monday, Tuesday. No one, I was like, No one was listening to me.

I was like, we're going to get the car, but how are we going to drive it? Yeah, so then we, once we, because we replaced his car with a red Labour car, didn't we? Yeah. Is this yours? This is yours. We've got it for you. Yeah, yeah. Where is my car?

This one's just as good, right? The car's safe. It'll come back. The car will come back. Where is my car? This one's just as good, right? The car's safe. It'll come back. The car will come back. So what do you sign? You say, you stole my car and this is all I know. No, we've borrowed your car. Where is it? It's in a secret location and it'll come back eventually. Have you filled the tanker?

Filled the tanker? Yeah. Why of course you don't. I'm mad at the people. Doesn't need premium either. 91's fine. Saving money. Everyone's happy. So he took off in our old red car with Labour signage on it.

His favourite political party. Exactly. You can catch the full video at the Hits Breakfast Instagram and Facebook. Check it out right now. It's actually very funny. His reaction is brilliant. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Now, I was just reading, global travel

not expected to recover, they reckon, to pre-COVID levels until 2024. Really? They reckon it could be the state that was before when people were flying freely between countries and people want to travel and all that. I suppose it'd be the confidence in knowing that you can

travel overseas safely for most people, right? It's still a long way off. They're testing people this week in the States, I saw, too. They're doing... The vaccine test? Yeah, they've injected some people with what they think could be the cure and others with, like, a placebo thing. So they're running tests now.

Oh, fingers crossed. But we'd be down the list to get that, surely. New Zealand. We definitely birth the fact that we've got it kind of under control, right? Maybe it's like the 11 secret herbs and spices. They hand out the recipe and we can cook up our own batch. Yeah, it might be true. Apart from handing out the recipe, because they don't do that, right?

Yeah. Have we got 10 of the secret herbs and we just guessed the last one, do we? Someone's just working on the... No, in New Zealand, we're probably just sprinkling weed into it or something. Spy. The What's Up by Docco.nz. She stuck her hand in the gunky gurgler of celebrity gossip and pulled out another pile of gossip news.

Here's Juju the spy. So I very much enjoyed watching this video. It's Princess Anne, the Queen's daughter, teaching the Queen how to do a Zoom call. Good morning. At Windsor. Good morning. I'm very glad to have been able to join you.

Can you see everybody? You should have six people on your screen. Yes, well, I can see four anyway. Okay, very well. Actually, you don't need me. You know what I look like. Oh, that's brilliant. So good, eh?

Why does she talk to her daughter like it's a United Nations meeting? Well, other people were on the Zoom call. Oh, so they were professional. Oh, that's brilliant. So good, eh? Why does she talk to her daughter like it's a United Nations meeting? Well, other people were on the Zoom call. Oh, so they were professionally. Oh, right. So it wasn't just a family catch-up. No, unfortunately not. And the Queen was like, she looked so small, like the camera was so far away, and she was like,

hello, I can't see. It's very funny. She's probably like, I'm nearly at the finish line of life. Why do I have to learn how to do this? I know. This is a burden on my day. She probably just sat there very patiently while all her people were just setting it up and probably just as much trying to figure out how to use it as she was.

Well, she was a bit late on Zoom too, wasn't it? They're out of lockdown now, aren't they, the UK? Yeah, they are a little bit now, aren't they? Yeah, they're moving around a bit more freely. We'll do Zoom now that everyone's allowed out. Yeah, exactly. And Madonna, she posted a wild conspiracy theory about coronavirus and Instagram deleted it. So she has 15 million followers, bear in mind.

She said that a vaccine has already been found, but it's being hidden from public view to let fear control the people. So that's a bit bizarre. It's kind of like, is she going to be another Pete Evans? I don't know. Didn't she say she had it? Didn't she say she caught it? She did. That's right. She did, but she didn't have any symptoms. She just had the antibodies, I think.

Is that what they're called? Oh, no. So yeah, she was like, take what you can out of my body and cure the world. Madonna was saying that you could go in and extract anything from her body to help with the vaccine. Yeah. I like Madonna. She still dresses up in the costumes and stuff too.

Is she still rolling with that? Do you reckon her kids are like, Mum, can you take your space-coloured hot pants off? That's kind of her thing though, wouldn't it? Yeah. Would you want to see Jenny?

My mum? Yeah, with some cone. Well, I have seen it. Mum, I'm my mum. Mum, take your cone bra off. The people of Northland don't need to see this. Jenny and her cone bra. On the beaches up north.

Dangerously, I take someone's eye out. For more spy, you can hit the hits.co.nz. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's time for reception. Reception, we do this once a week where I phone up and leave a message for Ben

at a random reception around the country. And then, Ben, you have to try and retrieve that message to see if the front desk will pass it on to you. So I go out of the studio. I don't hear that message until I ring up and try and see if they'll tell it to me. So far, we've had a pretty good track record with it. People have delivered on the message,

even though they've been quite embarrassing for me. 100% hit rate on this game. Some talented receptionists out there. Have you ever worked on a reception? No, you did it once. Remember, you got a rash from Cheezels for some reason. Yeah, no. You talked about that.

Well, I ate Cheezels for morning tea and I broke out in a full-body rash. Juliet always finds this very funny. But it was traumatic at the time. Very traumatic. We're like an old married couple. I know your stories. I know.

That time he's going to talk about the Cheezels. So cute. But you've got so much to juggle at a reception. There's calls coming in. There's people. I'm not a good multitasker. So I'd just hang up. And people would phone up because it was a radio station.

And there'd be old ladies who'd wonder, like, where's my bunion cream? I want off Ewing Stevens on radio. I was like, I'd just hang up on them. I was like, I don't know. I'm not in the right space to handle this. Where's my Michael Bublé Christmas CD to hang up? Yeah.

We must have got, oh, sorry, we got disconnected. Yeah, but then when they'd call back, I'd be like, oh, something went wrong with the phone line. Oh didn't hang up. Yeah, we must have got, oh, sorry, we got disconnected. Yeah, but then when they'd call back up, I was like, something went wrong with the phone line. Oh, shocking. But these ones, these ones have been great so far. So Ben, boys,

you go to the soundproof booth. We're going to call a trucking company in Northland here. Let's go through, Producer Julie. Hello, lovely. how are you? I'm good, how are you? Are you having a lovely day? Yeah.

I'm leaving a message for Ben. He gave me this number. He said if I phoned up Lovely, you would pass on a message for him. Okay, yeah. Is that all right? Yeah, that's cool. Listen, if you just tell him it's Jonathan from the T-shirt shop. T-shirt shop, yeah.

I run a T-shirt printing business where you can get things printed on T-shirts. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's called What a Load of Shirt. Oh, cool. So he just got a couple of, ordered a couple of T-shirts, but I couldn't print everything on them. So if you were just able to tell him which T-shirts I was able to do. Yeah.

Okay. The first one that he wanted printed on a t-shirt was, my love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. Cool. So, yeah, he wanted that on a shirt. Yep. Another one he wanted was, damn girl, are you cake? Because I want a piece of that.

Yep. And the final one, hey, girl, I wish you were a poster. Yeah. So I could pin you up against the wall. Oh. So I've got those available. Okay. Did you note those down?

Yep, I put them all down. Okay, great. He might call up and just ask if they're around or not. Yeah. Okay, then. Okay, thank you. Cool. Thanks, Jonathan.

Bye. Bye. So that's lovely. And it's time to bring the lovely Ben Boyce back in from the soundproof booth. How are you going, double Bs? I'm going okay. I'm always a bit nervous about what I've been involved in, what you've been besmirching my name with with someone else,

and what you're dragging some poor receptionist into. So today the role that you need to assume is a customer who has purchased some T-shirts, but I know how much you're a fan of slightly misogynistic T-shirts. Not at all. He loves the babes. He loves the babes, this guy. Oh, no. So you've got some slogans printed on the T-shirts.

Oh, great. So I have to ring up and try and retrieve the T-shirts. Well, just send the message, because the T-shirts are ready. I don't want these T-shirts. Whatever, great. So I have to ring up and try and retrieve the t-shirts. Well, just send the message because the t-shirts are ready. I don't want these t-shirts. Whatever they are, I don't care. I love how you're getting wound up

about imaginary t-shirts. They don't actually exist, do they? I'm like, I don't want them. I don't want to do it. All right, mate, let's make a call.

I'm over t-shirts. Lucky. Manfred Transport, lovely speaking. Oh, hi, lovely. My name's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi. Now, hi, Lovely. My name's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi.

Now, I had some T-shirts apparently that I've ordered. Yes. And I'm thinking they might be in with some slogans on them. Jonathan called and said that he could only get three of the four shirts printed. Oh, only three of the four. Yeah. Which of the slogans were on those ones? I don't want to say this.

But they're awesome. Awesome slogans. Oh, they're great slogans? Yeah. But you just can't say them. Because I... I've got a foot full of people looking at me. You can tell me because I should know, but I don't know what business I'm into.

You tell me. Just one of the slogans. What was that one again? I just don't remember which one. I've got a lot of T-shirts ordered around the place. Oh, okay. Yeah. Look, Jono, I don't think Lovely wants to...

Oh, yeah. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh, hello. Hi, Lovely. We do a game called Reception Deception where we phone places. I leave a message for Ben. He then phones up to see if you'll pass on the message. Oh, okay.

You didn't want to tell him that he had a T-shirt ordered. My love's for you like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in. Yeah, yeah. That was an awesome one. Or do you support National because you're ticking all the right boxes? Oh, Lucky, you're an absolute star. I guess she gets a pass.

She passed. Yeah, you did. You did. You did. And you did the right thing not telling me. Hold the line. We'll find something for you, all right? Oh, thank you. All right.

Oh, good. It was lovely. It was lovely. I apologise to her for dragging, for Jono dragging you into that. Oh, replace me with Lovely on the show. Oh, good. It was lovely. It was lovely. I apologise to her for dragging, for Jono dragging you into that. Oh, replace me with lovely on the show. I think so. More lovely.

I'll resign. A lovely day. That could be it. Start the show with a lovely day. Lovely day. Lovely day. Lovely. We've got more stuff.

Yeah, I can see why she didn't want to repeat those now. I don't even want to repeat them. Says the man who towed Mike Hosking's car yesterday. Oh, that's true. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I want to repeat them. Says the man who towed Mike Hosking's car yesterday. Oh, that's true. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We took Mike Hosking's car from the work garage here at NZME yesterday

because Mike Hosking works in the same building and does the Newstalk ZB breakfast show. And we thought, well, we thought we could get his car, borrow it and hopefully loan it out to people, use it ourselves, have a car, Have a flash car for a change. Yeah, and when he went down to the garage after his show yesterday and his car was missing and we'd replaced it with a red car with Labour signage all over it that he could run around.

Get him made to be. This was his reaction. Hi, mate. G'day, mate. Where the f*** is it? There's a little taken back. Yeah, we've towed the car. It's at a secret location, which is not my house.

No, we just need to be clear on that. Don't go looking at Ben's house. But we had towed the car, so we got the car. Yeah. But I've been saying for a few days, we need the keys. Yeah, so once Mike drove off in our Labour red car, we gave him a call back in the studio to see if he would be ever so kind

to hand over the keys. Hello. Hello, Mike Hosking. Hello. Hello, it's your friends Jono and Ben here. What do you want? Is that Michael Noel James Hosking V? Yes.

Full name? Yes, it is. According to Wikipedia. What do you want? Well, we've borrowed your car, and we appreciate you loaning it to us without really agreeing to it. Can I just put it down on the record? I didn't agree to it.

I didn't loan it to you. You've stolen it. and i've been on the insurance company already and they don't know whether i'm covered anymore katie's furious with me for leaving it unlocked and you guys are a bunch of bastards okay so this is all for the courts to decide by yeah this is all yeah in the meantime just a little favor we forgot to get the keys oh yeah because we towed the car and we haven't got the keys. You want me now to give you the key

to my car? That was our first option. Second option, we don't know what that is. So what are you going to do if I don't give you the key? That's a very good question. Have you thought any of this through? No, clearly not. You're a smart man, Mike Hoskey.

What are you going to do with the car? Where is it? Is it all right? Have you cleaned it yet? It's fine. It's likely to be cleaned every day. Yeah, I can imagine it's used to being cleaned every day. No, it's fine.

It's in a secret location. It is safe. It's in a garage. We just thought maybe we'd loan it out to a couple of people here and there. Maybe we'd have a weekend away with it or something and, you know, just have some fun. Like who? Not you.

Well, we can... No, but the people. The people. The people. You're a man of the people, Mike. Yeah, that's what I've always said. You're going to give my car to the people. The people.

He's a man of the people. You're right, Jono. Am I ever getting it back? Yes, you'll get it back. We haven't taken it forever. Will I get it back in one piece? Yes. Yes.

And any damages will be covered by someone. Sheesh. So you want the key? Oh, that would be easier for us. Yeah. Yeah, hang on. Why would I agree to that? I was just thinking the same thing.

What if I agree? You stole my car and now you want the key. What do you want me to do? Sure, guys. Have the key. What else do you want me to fill it up with? This feels like a conversation we can take offline. The man of the people is going to give us the keys.

Mike Hosking. What a guy. I don't know if he agreed to it, but that was Mike Hosking yesterday. Hopefully we'll get the keys today. Hopefully. Hopefully. We'll see. And you could be driving it this weekend, New Zealand.

Mike Hosking's car. We have got it. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, for the last nine, ten weeks, we've been working on this TVNZ show, filming in the weekends. Been a lot of fun.

A dog reality show for $100,000. It's coming soon. We're not getting paid $100,000. No, no, no. Just to clarify, that was not our salary. We got $100,000. Four or five times more. Yeah, plenty more than that.

No, the prize money is $100,000. And so, you know, working seven days a week, and I'm sure many people out there right now know what this is like. My wife works as well. She's a teacher. We've got two kids. We've got a dog. We've got a cat.

We've got a full household. You've really stacked the odds against you for some reason. Is the marriage going to make it? I don't know. Oh, that's the cliffhanger. That's the story. Stick around. Find out if it makes it.

We make it. But, yeah, so things have sort of been piling up. Literally, the washing pile has been piling up. Oh, that's the problem. You let your washing get away on you. It's like emails, isn't it? You let emails get away on you. And then it gets to a point where you're like,

oh, this is too far gone. I can't get on top of this. See, I've been trying to wash and get the clothes dry. I've been trying to do that part. That's the important bit. But just the folding and putting it away, it's just got too much. And so we've now got in our bedroom, we've got four washing baskets of washing.

And it's been building up over the last sort of eight, nine weeks. Just a mountain of washing. He's lost three children in that mountain of washing. There are explorers from Tibet in that washing right now. I don't know what's in there, but every morning now, instead of like going into their wardrobes or cupboards or whatever to get their clothes out,

every one of the family just walks to this washing pile, finds their clothes, gets dressed, and the next day, if one of us manages to do a load of washing, we put it back there. And I'm just like, well, maybe we don't. The mound of washing. Every household just has a giant mound because there's nothing quite like the panic of trying to find,

you know, matching socks first thing in the morning. Yeah, socks are a little stressful. Where's your digging for your underpants? Yeah, the kids are like, where's my clothes? Oh, know, matching socks first thing in the morning. Yeah, socks are a little stressful. Where's your digging for your underpants? Yeah, the kids are like, where's my clothes? Oh, no, no, it's in the mound. It's in the mound. So now we just go into the mound and we just, you fish out whatever clothes you want to wear in the morning.

So I'm like, well, maybe this is the future. Maybe you don't need cupboards and drawers and all that sort of stuff. Maybe you just have mounds. Well, I mean, how long, how much of our lives do we spend folding clothes, washing them, getting them crinkly again, washing them, folding them? Why fold? You're out.

Cut out the folding. The mound is the logical solution. Next week there's going to be a small little tribe of mountain people from Nepal living on your mound of washing. I mean, sure, it doesn't look good. It doesn't look tidy. But hey, it's convenient.

Imagine the minutes it's knocking off your day. I also have a, it doesn't look good. It doesn't look tidy. But hey, it's convenient. Yeah. Imagine the minutes it's knocking off your day. Yeah. I also have a bit of a bugbear with folding washing because if you've got a nice sort of silk shirt or silk pants or something and you go to fold them, then when you unfold them and put them on, they've all got the convenient, just harsh creases on them because you've folded them. Not in a mound. Exactly.

Not in a mound. Not in a mound. Waggling in a mound. Not in a mound. I'm wagging my finger around. The mound people employ the mound technique. If you are missing anyone, friends or family, you might want to go looking

in Ben's mound. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the edge. The A to Z of New Zealand. Calling every town and city in New Zealand and Aotearoa.

And if you think this is dragging on, then blame whoever invented the alphabet. That's who I pin this on. Why's the alphabet so long? We're almost at the end of the C's though, aren't we? Yeah, tomorrow we hit the D's, Ben. Because we're doing this alphabetically, calling every town and city in New Zealand. And honestly, it's been months and months getting through the A's, the B's and almost the C's. And we're still at the bottom of the mountain.

Yesterday, Colverdon. Oh, is there a hemp farm in Colverdon? Yes, there is. Oh, yeah, I was just reading about it online. Yeah, hemp processing plant that's up there. Oh, do you smoke the devil's compost? No, no, no, no. No, not for you, not for you.

And today, Cust. Have you heard of Cust, Producer Juliet? No, I've never heard of it I hadn't heard of Cust until now Had you heard of Cust, Ben? No, I've heard, but you wouldn't know exactly where it was Well, it is in North Canterbury, a rural village in North Canterbury Named after Sir Edward Cust Who was a world famous pimp in the 1920s The official town anthem is Cust, who was a world-famous pimp in the 1920s.

The official town anthem is Cust the Magic Dragon, Cust's official cuisine is custard, and their official pastimes are swearing and cussing. Some of that may or may not be true. I'll let you decide as we go through to Cust. Critch style roses at Custard speaking with Lynn. Lynn! Who is it?

It's Jono and Ben from The Hits here, Lynn. We're doing the A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling every town. Oh, okay. Guess what number Custard's on the list alphabetically. I bet you won't be able to guess. Number one. 65.

65. Oh, 65. I've got number one in our hearts today Today Tomorrow it'll be Dairy Flat when we hit the D's Oh Dairy Flat How are you Lyn? Aren't you lucky?

We're very good, we're working hard here Can you tell us a little bit about Cust? Cust is a small town between Rangiora and Oxford And we have lots of little community things happening here. We have lots of lovely shops. And I work at Rose Nursery, which is where you're ringing. And it's a lovely little town. High rate of adultery in Cuss, they tell me.

I don't know about that. You're one of the good ones. I was actually reading it used to be one of the places for Grand Prix of motorcycling back in the day. It was, yes. There's a historic place just down the road on Mill Road and Terrace Road, and it's where they had all the bike racing and things in the early 30s, et cetera. 25,000 people used to go there for the motorbike racing. How's that?

It was very, very well known. And now the population of Cust is around, what, 400 or 500 by the looks of it? Something like that, yeah. Lots of small farmlets and stuff around here plus the town itself. Yeah, do people cuss in Cust? Have you got a potty mouth, Lyn?

Yeah, what's your favourite cuss word? No, no, no, no. We're all very genteel here. Oh, lovely. Would you advise people to come to holiday and cuss? You can use it as a base, that's for sure, because there's lots of mountains and hills and sort of valleys, et cetera, around here,

and there's the Ashley Gorge, which is really pretty. It's not a destination, it's a location. It is, exactly. Okay, that's a nice way of saying it. We've read that before. I don't know, I just made it up. It's quite good. It's not bad, yeah.

It's good. Yeah, not bad. Yeah. Hey, Lynn, you know what? If I was there, I'd give you a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, Lynn. Okay. Oh, thank you so much. Well, you should come out to Cust and have a wander around.

Yeah, we will. We will. Just have a wander around. We will, Lynn. We will. Love your a wander around. We will, Lynne. Good on you. We will. Love your work. Thank you.

Bye-bye. She was a lovely lady. Have a good day. Good on you, Lynne. Thank you. There we go. Lovely Lynne and Cust. It's a great place to wander.

Just stretch your legs in Cust. That's what you can do there. The A to Z of New Zealand continues tomorrow as we head into the Ds. Slowly making our way through the alphabet on that one. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Synchronise Oddsers. Oh, this is a fun game where we give you a prize, but we can steal it off you. It's New Zealand's quickly becoming New Zealand's favourite game behind how much food can I stick on my plate at the buffet. Maddie's with us from Te Awamutu. Welcome to the New Zealand's Breakfast.

Thank you. Hi. Good to have you on, Maddie's with us from Te Awamutu. Welcome to the New Zealand's Breakfast. Thank you. Hi. Good to have you on, Maddie. So have you heard this game before? Yeah. It's pretty simple. Juliet, producer Juliet, throws out a category, and Ben and myself have to get the same answer

to steal the hell pizza off you. Yeah. All right. Your first question, producer Juliet. All right. Name for me a brand of phone. Nokia. Oh, you went Huawei.

I went Nokia. Are they even a brand of phone or maybe just more of a brand? I don't know. Still works, doesn't it? All right, name for me something you'd find in a bathroom. Flannel. Oh. Hair down the drain.

Jono always talks about how you have to do that at home. Oh, that's my role, Matt. Did you unclog the hair from the shower drain, Matty? No. When was the last time you did it? I didn't do it. I let Mum do it. Oh, good.

That's what mums are for, unclogging hair drains. That's why I had one. So far, we haven't synchronised an answer. We have one more question. If we can't do it, the Hell Pizza's all yours. Over to you, Producer Juliet. Name for me a New Zealand celebrity. J.B. Seymour.

Oh! These were tough categories today. Well, three down. You've held on to the pizza, Maddy. We couldn't steal it off you. Oh, these were tough categories today. Well, three down. You've held on to the pizza, Maddie. We couldn't steal it off you. Oh, thank you. Damn it. It'll feel so good when you take prizes off people.

But then off air, Ben just goes, oh, get them, send them out. You don't like me doing that, do you? No, it's not the game. Send them something out here. Send them something nice. He's always like, send them something nice. Get something nice. He's like, hands it off to the lesser people.

Send them something nice. So you would have got something regardless, Maddie. Well done. Thank you. You've got some Hell Pizza. It's coming your way, okay? Yeah. Go on, yeah.

Have a lovely day. Free range ingredients, plant-based, vegetarian, and gluten-free options available now at hell.co.nz. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Buy the What's Up by doco.nz. You spend the last 24 hours peeping on the hits. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz She spent the last 24 hours peeping through the bedroom windows

of the rich and famous. It's a little bit creepy but very necessary for her to deliver. Spy, Juliet, what do we got? So Meghan Markle and her agent have been accused of setting up paparazzi shots back in 2015 before she met Harry when she was trying

to raise her profile and her image in the UK. So she was photographed going into a restaurant. And now this is a little bit interesting because if you remember before the royal wedding, it came out that her dad did the very same thing. He set up paparazzi shots of him, I think, getting his suit fitted for the wedding. And he got absolutely slammed. So what do you mean? They're just basically photos that look like he was being papped.

Yes. Photographed, right. He was in like Frank Casey, wasn't he? Getting his waist measured. Suit high, yeah. Suit high. Yeah, exactly. So people aren't...

And then did they release those photos? So those photos, do you mean of Megan or of the dad? Yeah, either or in this situation. Yeah, so those photos didn't actually sell until... Oh, they're trying to sell them. Yeah, so until the romance with Harry was announced, then they sold like wildfire. I've been taking shots of Ben.

We've got many nudes. And none of them have got any traction on the market, have they? No, but if I get with Prince or something like that, you know? Yeah, we'll hold them. We'll put them in the Google Drive. Yeah, thank you. They're ready to go whenever we need them, buddy. And also, Meghan Markle, it's sort of come out as well

that her Wikipedia page, days before her romance with Harry was revealed, changed from actress, fashion model, and spokesperson to actress, activist, and humanitarian a few days before the romance was revealed. So maybe the royal people, you know, were like oh gosh, this is going to come out. We need to make her look better than she is. Apparently also

because she was on Deal or No Deal the game show and she was one of the suitcase people that held up the suitcase. Apparently that was erased from Wikipedia at the same time as well. Really? The fact that she was opening up the suitcases with the money. There's nothing wrong with opening up suitcases. I thought as well,

but maybe they were just giving a bit of a spring clean. Yeah, it's a good profession. It's a hardware suitcase opener, professional suitcase opener. Now, what does it say on Wikipedia about us? Oh, yeah, Jonathan, Jono Richard Pryor, is a philanthropist. Oh, whatever.

Hey, I didn't write this. Whatever. Philanthropist, humanitarian. Oh, whatever. I didn't write this. Whatever. Philanthropist, humanitarian. Oh, whatever. Respected radio and television personality in New Zealand. No, it's not. Ben Boyce. What does it say about Ben Boyce?

Oh, whatever. Let's see. Look, Ben Boyce, Wikipedia. Oh, get out of here. Oh, you're not going to like this. Ben Boyce has a checkered past full of a criminal history and dreadlocked comedy.

Yeah, true. That's probably quite true to be honest. But can't anyone just jump on Wikipedia and write what they want? Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can. Yeah, you're right. I think it has to get approved.

I've never tried it myself, but yeah, anyone can kind of contribute to it. Wikipedia is 75% nearly accurate information. Yes, exactly. And I base everything I know on Wikipedia. I know, right? And Kanye West, an update, he's still going for presidency.

He's beefed up his staff and he's now bringing in all the professionals who know how to campaign, basically. And also, a former candidate in New Jersey is challenging Kanye and saying that he's forging and his team are forging signatures so that he can get enough to enter the ballot of New Jersey if that

makes sense. So they're trying to challenge Kanye and be like a lot of these signatures are fake and you don't actually have enough so what's going on there? Well because Kim went out there yesterday didn't she? There were shots of her crying. They were at Wendy's having a big Baconator or something, which we're talking about.

And she, I imagine, was probably trying to talk him out of running for president. Yes. And he was like, no, I've committed to this now. Can't pull out now. You can pull out. No one would think any less of him if he pulled out right now. Exactly. No, not at all. No, he'd be like, I gave it

a shot. But he can't win anyway, can he? That's what you're saying. I don't think he can because he's not in every state. No, it's probably very unlikely that he would win. I would just say he's probably giving this one a go so that in 2024 if he is serious, he has a better shot. Like the National Party?

Yeah. They're looking to 2024. Give this one a shot. I hope that the next election they might do better. Judith Collins is Kanye West. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating, still pending. It's Jorowyn Manomahit. Why is it going to be a good

day? A filling day. If you haven't heard this part of the show before, we like to wrap things up on a positive note, like engineers laying the foundations for a good day. And we like to wrap things up on a positive note, like engineers laying the foundations for a good day. And we're going to make it a good day. It's going to be a good day unless you're driving to work and you realise you left your phone at home and you're having to turn around and go and pick it up. Oh, yeah.

You did that the other weekend and that's frustrating. Oh, no. You're like, oh, should I go back? You're like, no, I've got to go back. I'm going to need it. I've got to do that. Can't live without it. Technology, eh? Hashtag 2020. You were saying the other day a really good point. What did we used to do before phones? Even like when you were

trying to avoid someone. You know, like, you know, there's just someone coming your way and you're like, uh-oh, Juliet's coming. I better be checking my phone or pretending to be on a call.

I guess you just had to suck it up and say hi. Yeah, there's a lot of sucking up back in the day. Not now, not now. You can ignore it with the phone. Kirstie, welcome to the show.

Hi, how are you? Now, before we hang our headphones up and kiss these gross disease-laden microphone pop socks goodbye for another day, why is it going to be a good day for you? It's going to be a good day for me because every day that goes by is close to me opening up my home business. What is your home business?

Well, this is Greedy Christy from two weeks ago. Surely you remember me, the RSPP girl. Oh, Greedy Christy from two weeks ago. Surely you remember me, the RSPP girl. Oh, Greedy Christy from two weeks ago, the RSPP. How would I forget Greedy Christy? Yeah, I heard that on the radio. So funny, guys. So funny, loved it. Hey, well, we love you, Christy.

You go and have a good day and you go and open up their business. Thank you. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Yesterday we told Mike Hosking from Newstalk ZB his car from the work garage

and fellow Newstalk ZB host Kate Hawksby, who's also married to Mike, responded with Mike Hosking this morning on social media with a cute animal filter on their faces and voices. If you want to see a brazen car thief, jump onto the hits page My Poor Husband. So, John and Ben

took your car? Yes. Well, that's theft. Yes. Were you upset by it? A little bit. I told them it was your car though. Are you going to retaliate? I'm going to get them back. What are you going to do? Get the bastards back. I'm going to say now, like publicly, because then they'll expect it.

But when you least expect it, good given. Sounds very cute. But that was Mark Hosking this morning. Have a great day. Thanks so much for listening. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app.