Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - June 03 - Synchronised Answering, The Best Thing You've Won, What Are Your Relationship Arrangements?

Episode Date: June 2, 2020

We're sending cardboard cutouts of ourselves around the country!What's the best thing you've won?Synchronised AnsweringSpyBig News Small TownJono's kids bought an app on his phoneWhat are your relationship arrangements?Rude AwakeningScrolling Through Your FeedThe A To Z Of New ZealandSpySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Yeah, I'm good to go. You're good to go. Is this it? We've been recording the whole time. Raw. Honest. Well, we don't have to put this part, but you know, we can edit this. We're here now.

Yesterday I started and said welcome to the podcast on June the 1st. It wasn't June the 1st. We left that in. It's good to have you here though at the podcast, isn't it? It is. It's always fun. It's the nuts and bolts, the raw. No, sorry. This is the raw version. Now you want to say sorry.

You want to edit that bit out? Well, you can't. I'm sorry. You know the rules. No take backs. No edits. That's the podcast laws, my friend. Everything you say right now goes directly on the podcast, for good or bad.

Very exciting, though. Very exciting show. Talk to a lady who refuses to live with her boyfriend, and he refuses to live with her. But they're happy. Yeah. They're happy somehow. Ben, you had to teach your daughter a lesson. Oh, I did have to.

It sounded pretty threatening. It wasn't quite as bad as that. No. And you've got scammed. I have been. It's all in today's podcast. The Songy Corn Flakes of Radio. It's all in today's podcast. The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

11 days without any new COVID cases in New Zealand, which is great news and also great, well not so great news, a lot of dry hands I was reading in New Zealand. Oh, the hand sanitiser and washing them. Yeah. Yeah, no. Dermatitis is on the increase, but that's, I guess

What do you use to cure it? I guess you would use some sort of... Moisturising. Yeah, right. How are your hands? Because I know you're a washer. Oh, no, they get very, yeah... Yeah, dry in between the webbing.

Yeah, and wash them too much, and then you don't actually dry them properly. That's the other thing I've discovered, and you've got to dry them properly. When was the last time your hands actually touched anything? That's a good point. They haven't been, like, physically skinned to objects. It's never good point. They haven't been like physically skinned to object.

Oh, for some time now. You're right. He leaves them waving around in the air. Like one of those... Like him with the frog and the muppets. Blow up things outside Godfrey's. Yeah. All right, we're on a very special journey.

On Thursday, this begins. We were meant to be doing a nationwide tour of New Zealand starting yesterday. But I didn't want to take my hands around it. Ben wasn't willing to touch anything so we had to pull pin on that. And it was meant to be a handshaking tour.

I can't do this. So we've come up with this. This week Jono and Ben were supposed to hit the road for a nationwide tour of kissing hands and shaking babies. But then someone ate a bat and we all know how that ends. So instead, The Hits presents Jono and Ben's very responsible safe social distancing tour. Featuring real life cardboard cutouts of Jono and Ben.

Starting in Bluff, it will be your responsibility to safely transport cardboard Jono and Ben 1,658 kilometers to the Hit Studios. The power is in your hands, Arturo. Because if they make it back unscathed and free of any hand-drawn felon-looking objects, Jono and Ben will give away $5,000 to one lucky person who posts a selfie with their cardboard cutouts. So listen to the hits and find out where to snap a selfie with the most interesting versions of Jono and Ben, the cardboard cutout versions. Trust me, they're far less disappointing than the real thing. Jono and Ben's very responsible safe social distancing tour

starts Thursday on the hits. Yeah, there it is. Jono and Ben's 5K cardboard cutout tour. It's starting tomorrow. Very exciting. Yeah, and it is. Jono and Ben's 5K cardboard cutout tour. It's starting tomorrow. Very exciting. Yeah, and it's depressing to think that the cardboard versions of ourselves are going to have a far more exciting week than the real versions of ourselves. But it's going to start in Bluff, and we're trusting you,

as the man with the nice voice said, to get it back to the hit studio. If you do, we'll give away $5,000. Simple as that. Kicks off tomorrow. I'm jazzed. You're jazzed. It's a Wednesday morning. Remember to double pump the vogels. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. We want to know the best thing you've

ever won, because Jono, you keep dragging out the story. Oh, my mate, this exciting thing happened. Oh, wait till you hear it. We waited. We waited for days. Yeah, no, I said on Friday, my mate won something on the internet, and it'll floor you, and I said on Friday, my mate wants something on the internet, and it'll floor you, and I'm going to tell you about it next. I just said you're going to tell us about it now. No, I'm going to drag it out.

I want to know what the best thing is you've won, and not all the one-night stands you've had, Ben. Okay, that's not what I'm talking about. All right, buddy? Get your mind out of the gutter. I wasn't even in the gutter. That's not true. Filth, smut peddler.

We're not here to talk about that, buddy. No, we're not because it's not true. This is the best thing you've actually won because he won something during lockdown. Changed his life. It literally changed his life and I'll tell you what it is next. And you know why I'm dragging it out?

Because I'm just wanting to leave enough time for the historians at the National Institute of Great Yarns to push record so they can document this yarn. All right. Well, then I guess I'll start. What have you won? Will you tell me what you've won? Oh, look, to be honest, the only thing I've really won

was a colouring competition in Masterton. I think it was New World back in the day. I think I was about 11 or 12. I coloured it in. I was like, oh competition in Masterton. I think it was New World back in the day. I think I was about 11 or 12. I coloured it in. I was like, oh, not that great. But if I tick the ages seven and below option, maybe I'll have a chance. And I won.

Won some confectionaries, some milky bars or something. Oh, so you aged yourself down to win a colouring competition. Yeah, I feel bad about it. Is there no end to your senseless crimes? I feel bad about it. Cheating innocent children out of confectionaries? I sent mum in there to get the thing. She didn't know.

She was accomplice. Guilty by association. They're really bad about that. I think a couple of years ago, actually, we phoned up the New World to apologise, and they were okay with it. In fact, we'll do this later on this morning. Where was the New World? In Marsden.

Yeah, we'll call them later on this morning and admit to your senseless crimes. In fact, we'll try and do it next. They'll probably be open. Okay? Oh, thank you. Okay, great. Clear your conscience, Ben. Producer Juju, you got your hand up.

Best thing you've won? Best thing I won was when I was a child. It was similar to Ben, except I didn't lie about my age. Yeah, because what monster would do that? I did a colouring in competition at Kelly Tarlton's and I won. And there were so many entries I didn't think I was going to win. And I won literally a life-sized stuffed penguin that was bigger than I was

and it was the greatest day of my life. The creepy thing was it was a real penguin that they had stuffed and handed to you. Producer Humphrey, you won a driving-based competition. I did.

I won a $40 petrol voucher and that was back when you only put $20 worth of petrol in your car so it was a big deal. I got two fills. Wow. And it was,

I feel like I cheated a wee bit too. I got a safe driving award. I got nominated by the local radio station Port FM. This was back in Fairleigh and I think probably the weekend previous I was probably racing my car around on the footpath. So I don't know quite how I won the safe driving award. Maybe it was

safe because you were off the road. You left the roads clear. I did think it was a prank at one point but anyway I took the win. Okay, if you can beat those 0800, the hits, the best thing you've won, and I'll tell you what my friend won. Will you? Will you? For me, it's been, what is it?

Three days, day three. Marty's on the phone from New Zealand's Breakfast. For New Zealand's Breakfast, welcome, Mart. Yeah, good morning. What was it, buddy? I went on a trip to Orlando. Oh, I've heard of Orlando. Yeah, that's amazing.

How'd you win that? I was through an electrical wholesale competition and 83 of us won it. 83 people? Gee, that must have sunk the business. 83 went to Orlando for a nine-day trip, one-day business. 83 we went to Orlando for a nine days trip, one day business. 83 electricians

sounds like an absolute shamble. Especially one day of business out of nine days, that's incredible. Spend all the other time at Disney World, my friend. Oh, good on you, Marty. That's a great win. Great win. Anne's from Wellington. Welcome to the show, Anne. It's lovely to have you on this morning. Best thing you've won?

A car. Whoa! Oh! Still not as good as my friend. Hang on. What's in a car? Where did you win this? It was a professional's real estate.

I'll give them a plug. In Whitby. And we sold our house. And I won a black Suzuki Swift. And the kicker was, I knew I was going to win it. And a friend of mine, we both had a dream that I was going to win it. Hold on. Did you have some sort of insider trading here?

Did you fix the competition? I just knew I was going to win it. She had a dream. She had a dream about it. Oh, that's awesome, Anne. You've still got your back. Are you still cruising around in that, babes? No, no, I've gone to a Toyota now.

Oh, good on you. Reliable car, the Toyotas, aren't they? They'll go forever. Very reliable. Very reliable. You look after yourself, Anne. You're a reliable listener. We love you.

Like your Toyota. That's incredible. Yeah. All right, so now's the time. No, I don't want to hear it now. I feel that. It's 7.27 that hits. No, my friend during lockdown,

he developed an addiction to online gambling. Right. This saw him lose a little bit of money, but also he won $40,000. No way. $40,000 in online gambling, and then he went to click to collect it, but then he pushed the wrong button

and put the $40,000 back into the game. Oh, so he went on another hand. And he was panicking. He was like, oh, dear God, I've just lost $40,000, into the game. Oh, so he went on another hand. And he was panicking. He was like, oh, dear God, I've just lost $40,000, which is a life-changing amount of money anyway. Oh, yeah, totally. The hand went his way. No.

He won $360,000. Oh, my God. Online gambling. No way. Wow. Now, everyone talks about the negatives of gambling. Yeah, because there is a lot. Oh, you lose your wife, your family, your spending.

But there's positives. It's like cigarettes. There's benefits. Cigarettes make you look cool. Gambling, sometimes you win some money. I'll be told to back back sometimes and let you just go out. That's amazing, though. It's an online gamble.

The only thing I ever get from the internet is abuse in the comment section of a stuff article underneath us. And the occasional pop-up, pop-up ads and stuff like that. Well, there you go. 360 grand. So he started a business, he gave some money to his parents,

life-changing amount, right? So kids, whatever you're doing, stop going to school, learn how to play blackjack on the internet and things will be all right. Where's the music they play at the Oscars when they get off stage? The drunk guys, we've got to stop talking. Serving bowls of lollies for breakfast.

Actual lollies may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, I don't know about you, Jono, I'm not a big user of Trade Me, but people love it. People love Trade Me. I don't like the negotiation side of it because I'm a shocking negotiator. Like, if you're ever kidnapped, please do not rely on me

to negotiate your return. No, no. I'm not a good negotiator, yeah. I've had some unique interactions the few times I've been involved in Trade Me purchases over the years. I've told you about the time I turned up with my old flatmate

to pick up something for him and a lady was eating an iceberg lettuce like an apple, like a whole lettuce. I was like, okay. That's disturbing. She's like, that's what I do. We had a conversation about it. I was like, okay. That's disturbing. She's like, that's what I do. We had a conversation about it.

I was like, oh, good on you. Does she eat the whole thing at once or does she nibble on it like a rabbit? I was like, oh, that's cool. So that's like, that would take an hour. It would take a while. It's a big, lettuce is a big. I got more fascinated about the, I had a lot of iceberg lettuce conversation with this lady. Does she have a mayonnaise or something on it?

No, she was just eating it. Sometimes she wouldn't eat the whole thing. She'd just have a bit and put it back in the fridge and pick it up again. Oh, save some of that for later. Yeah, like it is.

It's a big thing to have. But anyway. Who's to say she's right? Who's to say she's wrong? Yeah, that's... She may be eating lettuce correctly. I'm not judging. I'm just saying that's what happens.

Because imagine how much Edmund we put into peeling off the leaves and washing them. She could be doing it right. She's just going straight in there. Good on her just saying that's what happened. Because imagine how much Edmund we put into peeling off the leaves and washing them. She's just going straight in there. Good on her. So that was one interaction. But in the weekend, my wife, she'd bought something off Trade Me, and we were going around to pick it up.

It was like a little table cabinet thing. And she was like, oh, maybe I can get it a little bit cheaper. Because everyone wants to get a bargain. Everyone wants to get it just that little bit cheaper than what they were asking for. Everyone's trying to screw you down in life. Why are you nodding your head, Producer Judy? I'm not saying I love a bargain. Oh, yeah?

Not screwing people down? In my head, I thought she'd said $80 is what this thing was worth. So I was like, you know, let's not go on your good cop, bad cop. Leave it to me. Let the big dogs get off the porch. Let me be the negotiator. You stay here, love. Leave it to Dick.

Maybe I'll be the one to go in there and have a look at it and go, I don't know if it's worth $80. You would be such a watery negotiator. So I thought I'd give it a crack. I went in there, I was like, yeah. What, you're looking it up down with your arms folded like a true New Zealander? It's good, but it's not, you know. It's not $80.

Yeah, I was like, 60. 60 bucks. 60 bucks. Yeah, $60 cash. And the guy's like, yep. I'm like, oh, 60. 60 bucks. 60 bucks. $60 cash. And the guy's like, yep. I'm like, oh, sweet. Easy as. This is a girl.

I've done it, guys. I've done it. Congratulations. And we're here. We'll come along. And then he looked at me as I was picking up and goes, you know I only wanted 50 for it, right? I was like, what? And so I offered him more.

You somehow negotiated $10 more. Oh, but it is. And Amanda, who I'd said, hey, just keep quiet through the whole process, is sitting there going, you idiot. He would have been going, but why has he got an attitude about it? With his arms folded.

You know what? I'll pay you $10 more than you wanted for this, you idiot. So anyway, I'm now retired. I'm not doing any negotiations. You know how I said it about you and the kidnapping thing please don't even try

and negotiate my return if I get kidnapped either Ben eggs for breakfast it's Jono and Ben on the hits now full house the TV show

just want to mention that Laurie Loughlin was one of the actors played Aunty Becky she is going to jail for the bribery the scandal that erupted in the States a few months ago.

How long is she? Is she going away for like 18 months or something? I feel like quite a long time. Seems like quite a hefty sentence for the crime. And I was just reading, because Fuller House, the show that she's on, have kind of addressed it on the show in their fictitious world. There's a scene that's going on and they go, oh, you don't think that maybe they should run this past Aunty Becky?

They said to John Stamos' character, Jesse. And he's like, well, Auntie Becky's in Nebraska helping out her mother. I don't want to bother her with such tiny little things. They've interested in no way at all. They've made up some stupid story about... Yeah, well, they're not going to go and go, to be honest. She's in jail, mate. She did some crazy

stuff trying to get her daughter, her other daughter, into college. I wasn't part of it, by the way. She killed the A.M. He should be distancing himself. If anything, I'm disappointed I married her. I thought I knew the woman. Synchronise answers.

Yeah, this is synchronised answering. I tell you what, we're more in sync than Justin Timberlake in the 90s. Basically, Juliet, producer Juliet, throws out a category. Ben and myself have three seconds to give an answer, and if we answer the same thing at the same time, we take the prize off you. Ellen, welcome. Morning. Love your show, although people are saying

some nasty things about you at the moment. Yeah, to be fair, whenever I get asked to spell my name, I always reference Ellen. Yeah, I know. So it must be the bane of your life. Yeah. If you have the same name as a famous person, you're always having to explain it.

We were talking to almost famous people last week. I knew a Robert DeLero who was a painter. And there was the shambles of his existence. We talked to Harry Miles as well, who was almost Harry Styles. But anyway, that's not why you're here. No. You're here to win some Reading Cinemas tickets. The movies are open as of Thursday. They're the first

movie theatres to be open. The tickets are yours unless Jono and I can sync up on an answer. We don't know what these questions are from producer Juliet. We have three seconds to answer and we'll just go with the first thing that pops into our head. So congratulations first and foremost Ellen and good luck. Here we go.

All right, first category is name for me a music genre. Heavy metal. Oh, there we go. She's still got the tickets, Ellen. I get nervous. I don't know why I get so nervous playing this game. Next category. A school subject.

History. Geography. Oh. Did you change in your head a couple of times? No, I got on history the whole time. You change about five times, don't you? No, I shouldn't. All right.

Name for me an American president, past or present. Bill Clinton. Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln. How deep do you want to go? Why not? Abraham Lincoln. Great beard.

Barack Clinton. I thought I'd go deep. Anyway. I want to give away these movie tickets to Ellen, so I'm trying to go deep. Here's the last one. Here we go. All right, the last one.

Name for me a track and field event. Hurdles. Sprinting. Oh. Oh. Not the same answer. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Okay. Not the same answer. Ellen, you're off to the movies tomorrow night.

Reading cinemas. Get your popcorn. Shove some tangy fruits in your mouth. And get jacked up on 10 litres of Coca-Cola, okay? Thanks so much. No, good on you. You look after yourself. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Bye. No, what's up? Bye boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Ah, she wakes up and spreads celebrity gossip all over her vogels. It's producer Juliet with Spy. God, I do love some vogels, though. I'm having it for breakfast this morning. Do you double pump it? Yes, I do.

You have to, right? You do. You really do. Why didn't they design a brief that you didn't have to double pump? I know. It takes too long, doesn't it? Anyway, Lisa Kudrow from Friends has revealed that when they were filming, there were really extreme security measures in place

to the point that every night after she left set, her car was searched without fail every day in case she'd stolen something from set. So they weren't allowed to take anything and everything was just very orderly in place. Obviously very strict on who could come on set, who could leave. But she actually said that she managed to steal a cookie jar from Monica and Rachel's apartment.

That was the only thing she managed to steal and get away from the security guards. Oh, wow. Thanks, Lisa Kudrow. This would have been great if it was 2001 with this news story. Why has she held on to this? I don't know.

Now it's time to release my cookie jar scandal. Are you a fan of Friends, Juju? I don't follow it religiously, but I've seen it here I don't know. It's time to release him a cookie jar scandal. True. Are you a fan of Friends, Juju? I don't follow it religiously, but I've seen it here and there growing up. It just seemed to be on every day. Yeah. And you end up just watching it. And it was a good show, you know, but it was just always on. Have TVNZ2 stopped playing Friends ever since it started?

I felt like it was like, after Friends, more Friends. It was like, let's prop it up, TVNZ2, for a while there. But a great show., but a great show. Yeah, a great show. And in other news, Kylie Jenner, it's been announced, apparently Forbes announced it, who titled her billionaire status, I think it was last year sometime, said that in fact she's not a billionaire anymore

and apparently she filed fake tax returns to skew her net worth. She's saying that's fake. Yeah, well, Forbes just biffed her on the magazine cover. Surely some simple investigative research could have figured out whether she was lying or not. Maybe she ticked the wrong box. Remember you did that a while ago. You ticked the wrong text box.

Did you? Yeah, I owed bloody 13 and a half grand to the IRT. But the thing is, so I signed up for this job and I ticked the wrong box. I'm shocking with that sort of admin. Yeah. And they left it for five years. Really? Then they just phoned me and were like, hey, buddy, you owe us 13 grand.

I was like, well, you could have told me this year one. I reckon every day they'll check it and go, nah, he still hasn't. The bull schmuck still hasn't noticed. I bet they all gathered around the phone and I was on speaker and they were all laughing. For sweet sake, they had, who owed 13 grand? Oh, Dennis, well done, you had 13 grand? Oh, Dennis, well done, you had 13 grand.

I had to borrow money off my father-in-law to pay it back. And then I had to pay him back in installments, $5 installments every week. Damn. Yeah,

goddamn tax. Why is that a thing? Well, it's a thing. That's really sad. I owe 500 bucks apparently. I'm like, oh.

I was trying to explain it to the kids the other day. I don't know how it works either. You get money and then the government, and they're like, well, why? You know, like, yeah, it's like, well, that's what happens. It's like, oh. I was trying to explain it to the kids the other day. I don't know how it works either. You get money and then the government, and they're like, well, why? You know, like, yeah. It's like, well, that's what happens.

It's like, yeah, you'd see the little hearts breaking for the first time. Learning about text. What? They just take your money. Yeah, they do. Sometimes you're going to pay more. What?

Yeah, they're like, yeah, welcome to reality, kids. Even though they're under 10, Ben's like giving them the hard truths on the tax system. These are the things that Marty the Dinosaur won't tell you guys. And you want to know how you were really made? Well, you better sit down for this. And that is spy. For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz.

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Big news. From a small town, and this one comes from my hometown of Masterton. Woo, Masterton. Yeah, here we go. A 93-year-old lady, Rona Fraser, she doesn't have a car licence, but it hasn't stopped her buying a car, Jono.

Well, it should. It should be a major turn off. No, she's bought a $65,000 Mustang, brand new because she's got a driver and she likes to be driven around in a nice car. So good on her. Seems like a very dangerous combination, a powerful motor vehicle

and a 93-year-old lady without a driver's license. No, she's not driving it. She's been the responsible thing. She just likes to travel in style. It's pretty cool. You know the responsible thing would be buy a Daihatsu Charade. I love it.

I thought you with your bloody Bogan streak, you'd love this, mate. Yeah, no, it's a lovely story. A lovely story. She sounds like a wonderful lady, too. She's done so much in her life. Yeah, so we've got the number of the car dealership that sold her the Mustang. Such a powerful word, Mustang, isn't it? It is.

Wild Mustang. Sounds like an aftershave that Chris Hemsworth would advertise or something. So we'll go through. What's the name of this car dealership? Fagan Motors in Masterton. Fagan Motors. Here we go. Good morning, Fagan Motors.

Ray speaking. Ray, Jono and Ben from the Hits Big News small town. Welcome. You got cut off. What? Did you? Did we? You got cut off before. Oh, no, no. This Welcome. You got cut off. What? Did you?

Did we? You got cut off before. Oh, no, no. This is our debut call to you. And so far it's been professional and really enjoyed every minute of it. Okay. Ringing out because of the big news that has captured the nation, Rona Fraser's bought a new car from you guys.

Yeah, yeah. And she's 93. That's right. That's all I have to say. All right. Yeah, yeah. And she's 93. That's right. That's all I have to say. All right, well, thank you for your time. I appreciate your time. You have a lovely day. Okay, cheers. Wonderful insight there.

I probably should have led with more. I should have put it in a question. Yeah, no, this is where you went wrong. This is why I failed journalism school. I should have said a question. I just said the same He backed it up Ben I don't want to say that It was a shocking display of journalism

I know it, you know it So Ben Humphrey, producer Humphrey Is putting us on hold At Rona's Retirement Village He's tracked this down I tell you what This is a jazzy introduction to It makes me want to retire

Just so I can sit in this village And listen to this music. Wonderful bass line on this. Tell you what, if your pelvis is not grinding to this song right now, you have no soul. Hello, Palace of House, Linda speaking. Linda, I was just grinding my pelvis to your hold music. Wonderful hold music.

Oh, hello. You probably haven't heard their hold music before because you probably haven't run your work, but it's amazing. Very jazzy, wonderful, gets you moving. Anyway, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh. We're just reading the wonderful story about Rona Fraser

who bought a pretty nice car. Oh, yes, yes. It's going through to a... I feel like we're in a pocket or something right now. Does it sound like we're in a pocket? Yeah. There's a gentleman on the phone from a radio station and he wants to talk to you about your Mustang.

It's from a radio station. It'd be awkward if she says no now because we can hear. You're there. Hold on a minute. I'll just get it. Oh, thank you very much. Oh, we've got her straight to the source. He's on the phone, Rona.

All right, he'll explain. Okay? You're there. Hello, Rona. It's Jono and Ben from The Hits. You're there. Hello, Rona. It's Jono and Ben from The Hits. You there? Hello. Just a moment.

Explain to him that I'm a bit deaf. She's a little bit deaf. Oh, that's all right. Should we talk up a bit? Okay, I'll put it back on and just... Hold on a minute. They just want to congratulate you on the car. They'll talk up a bit.

We love your car. You there? We are. We love your car, Rona. It's so awesome. You'll still have to speak up. Rona, we love your car. We love the car, Rona.

Yes. Yeah. Yes, I'm waiting to hear what you... Oh, we just wanted to say congratulations on your car. It looks amazing. Very hard to hear. Oh, I'm sorry. And also, I was just reading you used to fly planes, airplanes.

She loved. Yeah. Cheers. Oh, okay. Sorry, no, she can't hear. No, that's all right. We just wanted to congratulate her for the car. And also, she was a pilot as well.

She was, yeah, yeah. They're just saying you're a pilot as well. She's really interesting to talk to, but unfortunately, yeah, she can't hear. No, that's absolutely. First woman after World War II to gain her private pilot's license in New Zealand, which is amazing. Yeah, yeah. She's an amazing lady even now. Oh, great.

Well, listen, you pass on our congratulations. Glad she's got a car. You look after yourselves. You too. Okay, thank you. Take care of yourself. Thank you. Okay, bye. Hey, you've got toothpaste car. You look after yourselves. You too. Hey, thank you. Take care of yourself. Thank you. Okay.

Bye. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my hips. I just thought I'd quickly mention, because of Instagram, you know, when you use Instagram, the app, there's like a freckled filter you can use. And none of this makes any sense to me. I'm not on there, Ben. Producer Julia.

Yes. You know when you use Instagram, there's like a filter that gives you freckles? Yes. It looks quite good. A lady in Germany has paid $445 to have freckles tattooed on, so she looks permanently like the app. Wow. Like the filter.

Well, there'll be no point in her life she'll ever regret doing that because that filter will be around for years to come. It looks like cute little freckles, you know? So, yeah. I guess it's better than roasting your face in the sun to get little freckles, you know? So, yeah. I guess it's better than roasting your face in the sun to get the freckles, you know? And enough you can afford it. Yeah, I prefer the melanoma, personally.

I prefer the OG approach. The New Zealand traditional way, eh? Burning your skin to a crisp and dealing with it later in life, like me. I've had things cut out of my head. Yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah.

I'm a moley individual. So am I. Yeah, very pasty and moley. Me and the son, not good partners at all. But I found out yesterday I've been scammed. $226 turned up on my credit card yesterday from Francisco Grease Investments. And I'm like, is this one of Ben's?

Has he been using my MasterCard? Grease Investments. I know you do have your grease importing and exporting business. I can't, is this one of Ben's, has he been using my MasterCard? My grease investments. I know you do have your grease importing and exporting business. I do, not going great at the moment. It's amazing how many people don't want grease in their lives. When you pitched it to me as a business model, I was like, grease, really? Okay. I should have gone with the freckle filter.

That was my other option, but yeah. So yeah, Francisco, it was like $226. And I was like, what is this? And then I Googled it and it's attached to a goddamn app the kids are using. So the kids use my phone and they play this Roblox. Have you heard of Roblox? Yes. My daughter plays that.

And she's like, can I get an app purchase? Because you can buy things. You can gift stuff to other kids. You have to pay buys that. And one, she's like, can I get an in-app purchase? Oh, because you can buy things. You can gift stuff to other kids. I know, wasn't it? You have to pay for that. I know. What is this monstrosity of an app? So I'm like, many months ago, I was like, yeah, okay, whatever.

I'll give it an app. Because I've just spent the whole time going, no, no, no. You can't get an in-app purchase. Shut up about in-app purchases. If I hear in-app purchase once more, I'm going to divorce myself from this household. But anyway, I caved one day at a moment of weakness. And then since then, automatic payments have been going out.

Oh, I probably got the same. Because I hear her going, oh, I just got a neon horse. Or I purchased a husband or a slippery rainbow or something. You know, she's got all these magical things. And it's just been going direct back to the credit card. So how much? $226. But then the other thing is too, I don't know if it's the same app. She's got another one where we're like raising this digital kitten.

Right. And then you get messages in the middle of the night going, please feed me, I'm hungry. Meow. And we go, meow. And they go, do you not love me anymore? It's like those Tamagotchis, whatever'm hungry. Meow. And we go, meow. And they go, do you not love me anymore? It's like those Tamagotchis. Tamagotchis, whatever they used to be popular 15, 20 years ago.

Yeah. Yeah, so goddamn apps. I'm bloody haunted by them at the moment. I need to check mine now because I think there's been some in-app purchasing going on. Just check your grease investments. Your Francisco grease investments. If you want to start a legitimate company name,

it doesn't sound, you know, a bonbon, does it? You're like, grease investments. Imagine how many dads across the world have been sucked in by this app scam, this pyramid scheme, and have to explain to their wives what Francisco grease investments are. I'm looking at it going,

oh God, that's definitely me. Better not bring that up. I don't know what it is, but I must have brought something. You know, that's probably what they go under. You're like, yeah, I brought something here. Yeah, they name it an embarrassing, like, big, busty Brazilian babes. And you're like, what?

Oh, geez, that was me. That was me. That was definitely me. Don't know how that happened, but that was me. Kia ora, this is Toby Mann. I'm the host of Gone By Lunchtime, a podcast for the spin-off podcast network all about politics and politicians, with me, Annabel Lee

Mather and Ben Thomas, careering wildly from the very serious to the very ridiculous. It's not for everyone. I don't think it would be Alan's cup of tea, but you, I reckon, will love it. Gone By Lunchtime. Grab one now wherever you get your podcasts. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey one now wherever you get your podcasts. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, we want you on 0800 the hits to give us a call. That's 0800 843 4487. You can text to 4487. What are your arrangements? Your relationship arrangements that other people go, oh, okay. That's against the grain.

But it works for you. Maybe you sleep in separate beds. Maybe you have an open relationship. Who knows? Give us a call right now, 0800 the hits. Because on the phone right now is Verity Johnson. You'll know her from the Paul Henry show on TV3. She's a very funny, clever writer.

She writes for stuff.co.nz, and she wrote an article on the weekend called Why I Don't Want to Live With My True Love. And to explain more, Verity joins us. How's it going? Oh, hi guys. Thanks for having me. I'm very honoured. Oh, thanks. You've got a very distinguished voice, don't you? Yes, yeah. You've been raising the sophistication levels of this shabby operation we're running here, Verity. Well, I say, heavens.

And now you're writing Stuff for Stuff, and a very interesting article I read in the weekend. Yes! A fascinating glimpse into my private life. Woohoo! Now Ben got this article, he forwarded it on to me as like great bit of content for the radio show. It's a very interesting situation that you have, which you've shared obviously

publicly about your living arrangements. Yeah, my partner and I have been in a long-term relationship for over three years now. We never wanted to live together, consciously decided to live apart. And then, obviously, during lockdown, had to come together and huddle together

for warmth and survival for eight weeks. So we went from never wanting to live together to actually being forced to live together during lockdown. And, yeah. So the long and the short of it is you guys, you want to remain together, but you also want to remain separate as far as living arrangements go.

Oh, absolutely. Kind of like you have this amazing, incredible relationship and you get to hang out together, but you also get to go home. And so if you're mad, you can vent all your frustrations at home and then come back and be super happy and you never bicker.

And then when we went into living together, it was like, oh, okay, now I have nowhere to go, and I'm angry, and I'm just going to vent at you for not filling the kettle up properly. Which is a fair enough argument. But that's the thing. When you move into someone else's space, or someone comes into your space,

you do things your own way. Yeah, you do. And I think definitely when you live apart, you get really comfortable doing things your own way. So when you do. And I think definitely when you live apart, you get really sort of, you get really comfortable doing things your own way. So when you come together, your partner's like, why do you use that knife to slice cucumber?

And you're like, because I just do, because I do, because this is my thing. Wow, lockdown got fiddly for you guys. Actually, in all honesty, he was wonderful. I was the awful one. And I hated how much of like a domestic grump I became. Brought out my very worst side. So did he pitch the fact that, hey, maybe we should live separately,

or did you come up with that solution? No, it was largely me. He's far too polite to do that. I was the person who was like, I think I should probably accept some responsibility for the fact that I cannot stop leaving wet towels on dry sofas and having you sit on them. It's ingrained into me. It's hardwired. So I was the person who was like, look, I think we had it better before. You do hear of couples who sleep in separate bedrooms and have a wonderful relationship.

Oh, we actually thought about it, my wife and I, for this job, you know, because we're getting up at 4 in the morning. And I was like, oh, should I sleep in another room because I don't want to wake you up? And she was like, well, no, I don't want to start that because, you know, you're going to end up being, you know, that's fine if that's your own, you know, you're into it. It works for you. But she's like, oh, I don't really want to start. I'd rather be woken up by you annoyingly every morning than ask me sleeping in separate rooms. I was like, that's interesting. I think people are worried.

The biggest thing that I get when people ask me when they find out we live apart and they're like, we obviously have separate rooms because we have separate houses. I think people are worried that if you don't sleep in the same bed each night, you're not going to have an intimate or romantic relationship. And I'm just like, man, that's not the case at all. Because you get that space to actually get excited about seeing your partner again. And I've always actually found the living in lockdown,

I got far, far less romantic and far less nice because I was always around all the time. Yeah, right. I didn't have time to go and like think of nice things to do or like, you know, come and be ready for a date night. Well, maybe you're doing it right. Maybe that, you know, maybe this it right. Maybe this is the way. Can I just say,

this is a very long play from Ben here to go home and say, hey Amanda, maybe we should leave separate houses. I'll sleep in this other bed. Happens to be my mistress's house. Hey, hey, hey. Exactly.

I was like, I see where you're going with this. Oh, we should get Verity on. This is not what I put it on Verity's article. It was a very interesting relationship topic. No, it is. And hey, who's doing it right and who's doing it wrong and who's to say? As long as people are happy.

And it sounds like, Verity, you and your partner are happy and you found out what works for you. And I'm calling you for not going, calling it quits, just going, hey, I liked it the way it is. I'm going back to that. It's good that you can actually have that relationship and be like, oh, you saw my worst side and you still want to be with me.

That's great. Let's move out again. and be like, oh, you saw my worst side and you still want to be with me. That's great. Let's move out again. Verity Johnson, thank you for joining us. And make sure you check out Verity's writing on her website. Very clever, very clever writer. Oh, thanks, team. Andrea's on the phone. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Andrea.

Hey, morning. Hey, it's good to have you on. Good to have you on. What's your arrangement? Oh, well, this is, it isn't current, but it's something that happened in the past. When I was in Croatia, I was going out with this guy, and

he was very traditional, so he insisted on sending a photo of himself back to my dad to get approval on the relationship, and my dad's not tech savvy, so we never heard from him, so he broke it off. Oh, just because he didn't get approval back from a photo?

He was probably like, who's this very good Croatian man who's just a very good looking Croatian man I've just received a photo of? He was probably confused. Yeah, totally. But yeah, it was only until I got back, he was like, why the hell did you send me that? Did you not follow up with an email or a call? Oh, well, I guess that's done and dusted then. It mustn't be for me. Thank you for your call Hey, Laura, cool. Oh, well, guess that's done and dusted then. It mustn't be for me.

Thank you for your call. Appreciate it, Andrea. Someone's just texted in 4487. I found out my parents' relangement was that they were very active participants in the swinging community. And quite a confronting way to find out when I returned home early one Saturday night.

It would just be like a montage of wrinkly skin. You'd be like, oh, my God, what is this? Oh, dear God. And we had a guy we used to work with. He broke up with his wife, but then they still kind of lived together. But then she found a new partner, found a new man, moved him in, and then moved the guy from our work out the back. So he was living in a shed while they were, his ex-wife and his new girlfriend.

They all seemed to work. Yeah, they were all happy. Everyone's happy. As long as you're happy, that's it. You do you. Were they all happy, though? Two of them were happy. The two in the main house.

I don't know how the guy in the shed was. He said he was happy, but he looked dead inside. What more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. What's that? Oh, no. Shut up.

Now what? Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening. Yeah, we are up early in the morning, and we like to get other people up as well, and that's why we designed this segment, The Rude Awakening. Yeah, so ruders should be pixelated. Get a pixelation program across.

Let's welcome from Upper Hutt, Jenny, to New Zealand's Breakfast. Morning, Jenbo. Hi, how are you? Good, what do you do for a crust? I'm a midwife. Oh, that's a very important job. Don't get more important than a midwife.

You don't, that's for sure. You must see some stuff, don't you? Probably not for the radio. Yeah, the birthing experience. I remember both the birth of my children took a very long time. I was sitting in a chair for a long time. Don't make it about you, okay, Jono? And did you faint when your babies were born?

No, have you seen a fainter? Yes, it happened. I imagine it would happen. Visually, it's quite a lot to comprehend. It's a lot to take? Yes, it happened. I imagine it would happen. Visually, it's quite a lot to comprehend. The whole experience is a lot to take in. All we do is we just kind of say, faint in the other direction.

It's not about you right now. Not that time to worry about you. Who are we going to wake up this morning? My daughter, Lara. How old's Lara, Jenny? She's 25. Oh, 25. How old's Lara, Jenny? I think she's 25. 25. 25 years old. If I know anything about millennials, they do not like being up before 7.

Producer Juju just doesn't even, she's 22, she doesn't even talk to us for three hours. Sits there in silence. She's actually said to us this morning when she's at nap. Going through to Lara. She answers four questions. She's going to get $40 worth of hell pizza for you, Jenny. Hello?

Jenny. Lara. Yeah? Jenny's your mum's name. It's gone quite quiet at the moment all of a sudden, but anyway. Lara, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits. You're on the radio. Oh, good morning. Yeah, you sound half asleep, but anyway. Lara Estrano and Ben from The Hits, you're on the radio. Oh, good morning.

Yeah, you sound half asleep, but you sound semi-coherent, maybe coherent enough to take part in our game show. Okay. Your mum has nominated you for this. You can win some Hell Pizza if you get four out of four questions. Here we go. Are you ready? Oh my goodness. Yep, I think I am. I'm glad you are, because I'm still scrolling through my document to find the questions.

Lady Gaga starred in what movie? A, Fast and Furious 19, Singing in the Streets, B, A Star is Born, or C, Lady Gaga in The Tramp? A Star is Born. Wonderful film. Wonderful film, isn't it? Yeah, a little bit sad towards the end, though. A little bit sad.

You know when he pees his pants at the Grammys? I'm like, oh, mate. Mate. Yeah, at that moment, I was like, oh, mate, mate. Yeah, at that moment I was like, oh. And Halsey's like, oh my God, and the crowd, yeah, it just felt really sad. Have you seen A Star Is Born, Lara?

I have, I have. My sister really wanted to go see it, so we saw it together. I didn't realise how sad it was that at the end, even past the ping, yeah, anyway. Yeah, on the do- Yeah, very sad. Oh, it's a sad movie.

We'll just settle on that for a little bit. Phil Dunphy is a character from what TV show? A, Modern Family, B, Broken Family, or C, Rank Family? Modern Family. Well done. Two from two. You've got $20 worth of hell pizza. Michael Jordan is a retired what?

A, competitive table tennis player, B, competitive basketball player, or C, competitive underground bare-knuckle fighter player? It'll be competitive basketball player. Yeah, well done. Go Michael Jordan. Have you seen that doco? No, I've yet to start it actually.

That's very good. I'm going to like binge watch it. Our producer Juliet loves us talking about it every day, eh? Spoiler alert, the Bulls win a lot.

Yeah, they do. No way. And final question, for $40 worth of Hell Pizza, Kingswood and Cortina are types of what? A, exotic dancers, B, exotic cars, or C, infections? Should I go with cars? Yeah, well, it's not infections.

Well done. You've got $40 Hell Pizza coming your way, all right? Oh, that's awesome. Thanks, guys. Thank you, Lara. Sorry for waking you up. You get out there and do what you do, which is what? I work for ACC.

Nice. Oh, I love all the stuff that you guys do. When people get injured and then you pay out and you... That's basically it. How the ACC works. Are you down with ACC? Yeah, me, me, me. Hell Pizza, free range ingredients, plant-based, vegetarian and gluten-free options available right now at hell.co.nz.

The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, you may have woken up this morning and seen on your social media your feed full of posts with a blacked-out screen. This is part of our Hashtag Blackout Tuesday initiative started in the music industry for people to listen and learn and pause on posting personal things or issues

unrelated to Black Lives Matter on social media. And now millions over the world have posted a blackout screen you'll see in support. Although it's been a little note, if you're going to do it, don't use the hashtag Black Lives Matter because that could clog up the channels for critical resources and updates under the hashtag. So you can show your support,

but Black Lives Matter, don't use that hashtag. And now with far less important overnight news. Scrolling through your feed. Flat Earthers. Yeah. What a segue. I love how you love talking about Flat Earthers. Yeah, and I'm obsessed with Flat Earthers,

only because a lot of them refuse to back down. Kyrie Irving, NBA player, was a Flat Earther. He's the only one that I've heard of who has backed down and gone, actually, you know what? I've been backing this for a long time, backing this horse, but actually, the earth is round. We spoke to someone once about it, and I

couldn't really quite understand why they believe this. Everyone believes their own thing, and that's fine, but what's the point? Why do they know? Oh, NASA made this up. Why? There's no... I can't see any benefit for NASA lying to us, saying the Earth is round when it's actually flat. But obviously the SpaceX rocket took off on the weekend,

and there was a shot pointing back at Earth, and someone tweeted, man, flat Earthers must be losing their mind right now. But then the flat Earthers came back, because then they always scramble for a defence and they were like, well, it was filmed in a studio, clearly. And if it's filmed in a studio,

like the amount of money NASA must have spent on CGI and green screen and filming because they may as well have done 300 trips to the moon with that budget. Maybe that's what James Cameron's here to do. He's come back to New Zealand, he's quarantining, he's making more movies for NASA. Maybe Avatar.

The four Avatar movies he's making is a whole ruse. As a director, he must be like, this is the greatest film ever. The space launches. But yeah, I mean, it probably does deserve an Academy Award. But that's their defence. That's their defence. Filmed in a studio. I'd love to see the studio.

It'd be amazing, wouldn't it? But it'd be such a secret. Like, you know? It's where they filmed Armageddon, where they did Bruce Willis' film. And Kylie Jenner from the Kardashian family, she's been lying to us, apparently. Well, Forbes magazine, which announced she was the world's youngest billionaire last year, have done an investigation into her tax papers,

and apparently Kris Jenner may have left some stuff out which might not make her the world's youngest billionaire. Oh, really? Yeah. Producer Juliet, you were saying that she spent quite a lot on... Yeah, so she spent apparently $206 million in the last month on a huge private jet and heaps of real estate deals. But also Forbes are claiming that she faked tax returns

and used a web of lies to boost her net worth. That's such a funny lie. I'm a billionaire, are you? Oh, well, we won't fact check it. We'll just take your word for it. We'll put you on the cover of Forbes magazine. Maybe she's like, you didn't really check what I'd said in the T's and C's

I'm a rupee billionaire for the Indian dollars whatever it is or a New Zealand you know she'd be a New Zealand kudillionaire

so yeah Kylie Jenner yeah 206 million on a private jet is it like a car as soon as you drive off the lot well she apparently

wanted to you know decorate it and theme it for her daughter's birthday of course that soon as you drive off the lot. Well, she apparently wanted to, you know, decorate it and theme it for her daughter's birthday. Of course, that's what you want to do. So that's probably what she blew all the money on, decorating the private jet for her daughter's birthday. I just get sore lips from blowing up balloons for birthdays. She's trying to decorate it.

It's a different kind of Kylie Jenner lip challenge you're doing. So anyway, Kylie might not be a billionaire, but hey, who really gives a shit? This is your new breakfast. Health star rating, still pending. It's Jorowyn Manomahat. The A to Z of New Zealand. We are calling every town and place in New Zealand one a day.

It's going to take us over two years to ring every place. We're doing it alphabetically, and we're still in the A's after about four weeks. Just to think, in two and a half years, my hair would have 100% receded. There'd be nothing left. You'd be working with Murray Deaker. Oh, I wish.

He's a great broadcaster. But yeah, we are calling every town in New Zealand, town and city, 570 of them. We're up to number 17 today, Ben. Still stuck in the A's. But today heading to Ashurst. Yeah, Ashurst. Now, I think it's a turn off.

I know my mum's like, you've got to turn at Ashurst. I feel like if you're going from Marsden into Palmerston North or something like that. Well done. You're like, Ashurst, you've got to turn. But there's not. I won't say there's not much in Ashurst. You could say that could be the town slogan. Ashurst, it's a turn-off.

It's a turn-off. Yeah, to go somewhere else. But you never want to say it's a turn-off because that sounds bad, right? It's a turn-on, if anything. Ashurst will get you going in places you never knew you'd get going. Is that right? Is that kind of where it is? Let me give you some stats about Ashurst. Ashurst is a small town in the Manawatu-Huanganui region of New Zealand's North Island. Located 14 kilometres northeast of Palmerston North,

there are four buses on weekdays and one on Saturdays linking Palmerston North to Ashurst. While there, why not visit the Ashurst Domain, which includes a camping ground, a lookout to the wind farm, a cemetery if you feel like dying, or get sniffed, licked and or bitten in the canine area. Oh, there you go. It's got it all.

But let's make a call and see what Asherst has got going on. You know I always like to give the moist reading of every town. Very moist at the moment. Oh, it is? If you like being moist, then you'll enjoy our Asherst, because you're running 87% humidity to there today. Oh, that is quite moist. There's a lot of moist.

Yeah, it's a lot of moist. Phoning Ashurst. Here we go. Welcome to our corner. Kim speaking. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hi. Hi. Who are you speaking to? Hi. It's John. I've been calling from the HITS radio station. Oh, hello. Hello.

We're calling every town and place in New Zealand, calling from the Hits radio station. Oh, hello. Hello. We're calling every town and place in New Zealand and today we're calling Ashurst. Oh, okay. Hi, how you doing? He almost sounded disappointed at us. Did we just tell you what we're doing? We're calling every town and city in New Zealand.

That shouldn't concern you. What should concern you right now is you're now the spokesperson for Ashurst. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, what do you want to say? Why do you want to get us there? Not when I say Ben and me, we can't commit to coming to Ashurst, but the rest of New Zealand.

Oh, that's a lovely little town. Oh, awesome. You're probably not the right person to talk to. Oh, no, that's okay. Well, you answered the phone, so for us you are. Oh, thanks. So what do you do at Ashurst? Just work here.

That's okay. I feel like your passion and enthusiasm for Ashurst is waning by the second. Now we've put you on the spot. Yeah, you did. What's one thing we could do in Ashurst? Not with you, just if we came by ourselves, separate from yourself, what could we do? What could you do?

You could probably just go and have a look at the wind turbines. I thought you were just about to say, go and have a look at the wind. You're like, oh, yes. So, stare at the wind turbines. Not a lot happening in Ashes. Oh, I couldn't get that from you, your enthusiasm for Ashurst. But no, there's a lovely little town there.

So, where are you calling from? The Hits radio station. Oh, gosh. Big fan, obviously. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, we've got a lifer on the phone here. I love your work. You look after yourself.

Thank you for calling. No worries. Have a gooder on the phone here. I love your work. You look after yourself. Thank you for calling. No worries. Have a good one. There we go. Continues tomorrow, the A to Z of New Zealand. We're in another New Zealand town. We keep going until we get through the whole alphabet. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show.

It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Now, I have two daughters, as you know, Jono. That you know about. Am I right? Well, yes, I know about. I am right. I am right. You're right. Yeah.

Sienna and Indy. And Indy's the youngest. She's eight years old. And over the last few weeks, she's been trying to say similes, you know, and animal-related things. You know how people say blind as a bat or quiet as a mouse or I'm as sick as a dog.

You know, they have things that relate, although I don't really understand the sick as a dog one. Unless the dog's a terminal. I'm as sick as a terminally ill dog is probably the correct way to... Stubborn as a mule, hungry as a horse, that sort of thing. I know these because I've looked these up. Trying to have this conversation with Indy

and say these, when you say I'm something like an animal, normally these things relate to the animal. But for the last few weeks she's been going around saying things. And every time she says one, I record it and get her to say it back. Have a listen. Andy, you look cold. You need to put a jumper on.

I'm as warm as a pig. As warm as a pig? Yeah. Who's to say pigs aren't warm? They're probably a hot-blooded being. Well, maybe you're right. She might be, right? She may be coming up with some new stuff, new territory here.

I feel like she just takes a thing and then she puts an animal next to it. Whatever animal she can think of in her head. Here's another one. I'm as cold as a chicken. Cold as a chicken. I'm as cold as a chicken. I like them. Like, I enjoy them.

They would be cold. They're out there in the shed. But they're feathery, aren't they? Like a plucked chicken? Yeah, cold as a shaved chicken. My boy, she didn't specify that the chicken had? Like a plucked chicken? Yeah, cold as a shaved chicken. My boy, she hadn't specified the chicken had been shaved or plucked. I had another one for you.

I'm smart as a penguin. Smart as a penguin. Which they are a smart being. Are they? I don't know. I'm just trying to back up your daughter here. Surely you should be playing on her team. Why am I defending her? If anything, it's my job to ridicule her. Your job to defend her

Oh, your penguins, very smart animals You've seen Happy Feet, the way they can dance and unison I've seen Morgan Freeman, he talks about them In the documentary March of the Penguins They're doing some stuff Some of the smartest animals around those penguins I never get the

You can't have your cake and eat it too Well, you're like, well then Why have I got a cake? Like surely, it always confuses me. You can't have your cake and eat it. Well, I've just gone to the cheesecake shop. Surely it's now my right to eat the cake. Oh, no, you can't have that and eat it too.

Well, you're like, I bought it. Yeah. Unless I'm a diabetic or something. Don't carry your eggs all in one basket. Well, put your eggs in one basket. You're like, well, why not? What can't I put all my eggs in? Yeah, I'm not going to have like 22 mini baskets to carry all my eggs around. And if I've got

enough eggs that fit within a basket, surely I'm going to keep them in the basket. That's a sensible decision. If I've got an egg basket, that's what I'm going to put my eggs in. I'm like, oh, don't put your eggs in one basket. You're like, why not? Remember our free, our boss Brad at our radio station, he would always Oh, he's like Indy. He wouldn't get it wrong.

He would get sayings just slightly wrong, and he'd be like, guys, we've gotten into a really busy period, so it's balls to the floor. And we're all like, we all look at each other, and we're like, isn't it balls to the wall? Why are we all putting them on the floor? And we got so, because he kept saying it.

And we got into a deep research project about it. And it was actually from the airplanes, you know, the throttle they use to engage the plane and make it go. Back in the day, back in like the World War II and stuff, they would say, you know, balls to the wall, and that would mean to make the plane fly faster. You'd put the ball from the throttle towards the wall of the plane. At no point in history have they ever put them on the floor.

So in the meeting, we're all sort of squatted down, just, is this what you want us to do? Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy. No, what's up?

Spy.co.nz. This is your only source for celebrity gossip. That's if you don't have the internet or have ever watched E! News. No, exactly. Come and produce a juju with Spy. So Hayley Holt is officially back on Breakfast TV this morning. So obviously in lockdown, while she was isolating, she really sadly lost her child while she was pregnant.

But she's back and she had this to say. And I just wanted to say, especially to you guys out there as well, that the messages of support that were sent in on Facebook and Instagram, I broke my rule and I read the comments and they were beautiful. And like I've been through a horrible, horrible experience. But the thing that I got out of it was the blessings. I really was made aware of my blessings. And she's also announced that she's got a new partner as well.

She's a lovely lady, Hayley. She's awesome, man. Good lady. The team is so supportive on breakfast. They're all like, oh, no, why aren't you more supportive

like that to me, Ben? In regards to what? Just be nice to me. Just be nice. John Campbell's like touching your shoulder and stuff. You never touch me. Touch me.

Touch me like you mean it. Right, we'll get into it. Weird. No, but I'm glad, I'm glad, jeez, that would be a traumatic experience. I know. And double down, because the whole country knew.

Because it's so public as well. Yes. So she is, as you said before, an amazing lady, Hayley Holt. A lot of time for her. She's been great to us and we wish her all the best. Totally.

It's great to have her back. Totally. And in other news, Carol Baskin has won control of Joe Exotic's former zoo from Jeff Lowe, who we interviewed. So basically, all this law stuff happened. They had caught all that jazz. I don't really know the details.

But they proved that Joe Exotic had fraudulently transferred the zoo to his mother's name. And it's all come clean now. Carol owns it. And Jeff Lowe, have 120 days to vacate the land and swap all the animals out and everything like that. Remember when that was the biggest scandal in the world? I know. Jeez, times are moving crazily fast,

aren't they? Yeah, Joe Exotic and is he still in prison? Yes, yeah. And his legal team is still trying to get him out by going to Donald Trump. So what will she do with, because the animals have to stay there. That's what the guy said to us, Jeff, when we were speaking to him.

He was like, we can't release them back into the wild now because they'll just get eaten. Yeah, so I guess she has to run the park, right? Yeah, exactly.

So that'll just be a park that she runs and she'll just take ownership of it all pretty much. You'd be nervous if you were her current husband,

wouldn't you? How many more tigers have you purchased, lady? I've heard a few songs, a few rumours. There's some street talk about you and tigers and husbands. Anyway, there we go. Producer Juliette was a spy. Wonderful broadcasting.

Thank you very much. For more you can hear. No, no, no, I'm talking over you. It was wonderful broadcasting until that moment. Yes, great. It was my fault. That's okay. Want more Jono and Ben?

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