Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - June 05 - Radio Hauraki's Matt & Jerry Hijacked The Hits, Dan Carter, Your Hitchhiker Stories

Episode Date: June 4, 2020

We want your hitchhiker stories...The Receptionist TestStory For Another DaySpyDan Carter called in... Well kindaBen's wife sent us audio of him doing karaokeRadio Hauraki's Matt & Jerry hijacked The Hits ChristchurchScrolling Through Your FeedSynchronised AnsweringThe A To Z Of New ZealandSpySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Jeez, I feel good. Don't you feel good for this podcast? I do, I do feel good about the podcast. Friday's day, I learnt that, welcome to iHeartRadio's number one podcast, Jono and Ben on the hits in the morning. It's not number one, but anyway, you like to say that? I've got a new talent.

Oh, what's that? I can tell what you've eaten just by you blowing your breath on me. I don't like to say that um i've got a new talent oh what's that i can tell what you've eaten just by you blowing your breath on me i don't want to do that there's nothing come over here no blow your breath on me no i don't want to there's nothing i find worse that even like being close to someone i'm like oh because i get conscious i'm always you know me i'm always getting gum and all sorts blow your coronavirus on me no i actually know wait to level one and then we'll be able to do it. Yeah, yeah, I'll play that again.

I can guess what you've eaten. What? Probably some sort of cereal with a yoghurt on top. Have I got it on my mouth or something? Is that what you're doing? There's a white crustacean on your chin. Oh, I see what you've done there. Was it nice?

Yeah, it was nice. Am I right? You could have told me four hours ago before we did the show. But anyway, it was a big show today. Dan Carter, a prank call from Dan Carter today. Very well done on me. You got me good. As well as Radio Hauraki, they pranked us unintentionally.

It was a prank opalypse today. Oh, yeah. Matt and Jerry feature on today's show. Surprisingly, from Radio Hauraki. Enjoy the podcast. The soggy cornflakes of radio. It Radio Hauraki, enjoy the podcast. The Songy Corn Flakes of Radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, this is Jingle Bells, where we phone businesses and see how well

they know their jingles. Surprisingly, 100% of them don't know their jingles. Sometimes. We do, because we work on radio all the time, right? We hear them all the time. Now, I had pitched another game, Shingle Bells, where we phone up people to talk about their shingles, but it was quite painful listening. I was like, oh, I'm sore.

It's all sore on my chest. And we're like, okay, well. Also preached a lot of patient doctor confidentiality. So we went with Jingle Bells. And today you might know the Mad Butcher jingle. Have we got that handy, Producer Juliet? Yes, I do. Yeah, you just can't beat the Mad Butcher's meat.

Great jingle. Great guy, Mad Butcher. I like it because it's got many layers. Many layers to their jingle. I mean, you don't want to take a baseball bat to the meat and beat it. Yeah, that's... Because they've already... Yeah.

And you can't beat the price as well. That's right. So it works on many levels. Exactly. So we're going to go... We're going to go through to the Mad Butcher now in Palmerston North to see if they know their jingle. Good morning, this is the Mad Butcher in Palmerston North. You're speaking with Janice.

Janice? How are you? Janice? Yes, that's me. Hello. You finish her off, Janice. Yeah, you just can't beat the Mad Butcher. Playing a loony tune to me.

No, we're playing you the jingle. We're playing the Mad Butcher's jingle. Oh! Sometimes it's hard to hear down the phone lines, but it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. you the jingle. We're playing the Mad Butcher's jingle. Sometimes it's hard to hear down the phone lines, but it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. We just wanted to finish off the jingle. We ring up businesses and we're like, see if they can finish off

their own jingle. Oh, okay. Alright, Janice. That sounds absolutely marvellous. Here we go, Janice. Count us down. Yeah, you just can't beat the Mad Butcher's meat. Yay! You got it. How's business today?

All good? Yeah, all good. Thank you. Yourself? Yeah, what's going on? No one been coming and beating the meat lately? Yeah, everybody couldn't wait for us to reopen. Oh, yes.

Yeah. And there's lots of feedback from that. A lot of customers, when they ring up or see if we're open or come in, say, Oh, I'm pleased you're open. Yeah, what's on special? We have got chicken breasts of feedback from that. A lot of customers, when they ring up or see if we're open or come in, say, oh, I'm pleased you're open. Yeah, what's on special? We have got chicken breasts. Oh, yeah? Yep.

And why do they always end in 99 a kilo? I don't know why they do that. I think they all do that these days, don't they? Yeah, they do. What's with the 99? I don't really know because you can't give one cent out of the counter. That's the thing. Just round it up.

Everyone does it. It's another thing. It just sounds good. Well, that's right. Chicken Bresson special? Yep. How much for 99 a kilo? Which one? We have got the boneless one, but it's got the skin on

and that's $7.99. And we've got the boneless skinless one for $9.99. Oh, I tell you, the skin on, you've got to remove it, don't you? Yes, you do. Well, not necessarily. You don't have to, but that's the fattiest part of the chicken. Yeah, but sometimes the most delicious part, though, isn't it? That's the thing. No, chicken.

Do you know what I actually gave my family? Campylobacter. Oh, okay. Yeah, by cooking chicken on the barbecue. Oh, yes. Not cooking it long enough, obviously. Oh, okay. Yeah, so something I'm sure you don't.

It's a nightmare. Have you ever had campylobacter? No, I haven't. No, not fun, not fun. No, you feel like you're about to get better, but then you get worse again. Oh, okay, you get worse.

Yeah, no, it goes on for a couple of weeks. It's a nightmare, but Janice, take us out. Yeah, you just can't beat the Mad Butcher. Oh, there we go, Janice. You're awesome.

You have a great day. Keep up the great work at the Mad Butcher. Bye. Remember to double pump the vogels. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, when we hit level one, we got a cardboard cutout of the two of us, Jono and Ben cardboard cutout, and we're going to send it to Bluff.

It's going to start in Bluff as soon as it hits level one, and it needs to make its way back to Auckland to our studios, and we need your help. Yeah, there was some intense discussion, too, about us waiting till level one. Our management were even concerned about the cardboard versions of ourselves spreading the virus and disease.

Not the real... Yeah, we're trying to be socially safe. The cardboard ones are now disease, let alone the real ones in the disease. That's the concern, but we are trusting you, you the listener, to transport these cutouts from Bluff to Auckland to the Hit Studios

if they make it back over 1500k we'll give away $5000 Yeah and along the journey we'll keep you going each day, we're going to do it as we go. Hashtag Jono and Ben 5k cutout, that's a hashtag if you get a photo with it on the journey we'll tell you where it is you'll be eligible for

the $5000 so even if you don't billet, even if you don't drive it up the country or let it hop in like a hitchhiker, you could still win that $5,000 by getting a photo with it. Jono and Ben's very responsible safe social distancing tour. That's right. Kicking off next week. Well, we're going well next week. We think it hopefully could happen on Wednesday if we hit level one.

Have you ever hitchhiked like our cardboard cutouts are about to do? Not, no, only for comical TV purposes. Not ever in a real life situation. They all look like they smell, hitchhikers. They all look like they smell. You look like you smell. You look like you've just walked straight. I wouldn't pick you up if you were on the street.

Just a message to hitchhikers. Look less smelly. You know, they all look like they smell like shaved ham or something. Like glass houses. This is the last time you wore a collared shirt. I love it how you're like, you look like you would smell. Well, I'm like you of all people. Like there are some things you can, you know,

it's like you having a crack at the ball community. Yeah, no, you're right. Stone's glass houses. There's some things you can have a crack at. But, you know, they's like you having a crack at the ball community. Yeah, no, you're right. Stone's Glass Houses. You know, there's some things you can have a crack at. But, you know, they're all just travelling down the road. Why have they got, like, tie-dyed parachute pants and looking like... I guess it's a cheaper way to go, yeah, to travel, you know. And they're putting their life on the line sometimes as hitchhikers.

I picked a hitchhiker up once. And it was on the train, actually. So I just picked a guy up on the train and we were traveling from now we were going from imbacable to auburn for a radio promotion to the big day out massive music festival all right and there's this american guy with a surfboard and his name was clay and he's like hey bro hey clay no i just got talking to clay and he was he was traveling around all the surf spots of New Zealand and I was like, what are you doing, mate?

He's like, just going to Auckland, surf some waves. And I was like, you want to come stay at my house? So Clay from California, I brought him home and Jen was like,

who's this guy? It's Clay. It's Clay. He's from California. So he came hitchhiking with you and then hopped on a train with you? Yeah. Right. And he was

pretty free spirit, obviously. And so I took him all the way back. He stayed at my house for three days. Wild weekend. Wild. I picked up a hitchhiker with a couple of mates once. I used to have a very old Morris Minor car, which I was very embarrassed about when you're a teenage yellow. This is so lame. They have a lovely smell

though, didn't they, inside? It went 80k tops. Like, it did not go far. So I used to take the back roads around the Wairarapa just to keep away from people. But I was hitchhiking once, me and my mates were going, we'll pick them up. And as we were driving along, the car was very wobbly. It was like, oh, this is wobbly.

And everyone was like, drive straight, stop doing a prank. I'm like, I'm trying, I'm trying. And then the front wheel suddenly shot off and you could see it going faster than the car in front of us rolling along the road and then

we were like on three wheels of sparks like that we had to pull over and this lady was out gardening out her front going

what did I just witness and this poor Hitchhiker was like oh my god I think I might get out now it's never a great sign when your wheels going past you

faster than the car too that's insane. Oh, 800, that's okay. Hitchhiker stories. Have you been a hitchhiker? Have you picked up a hitchhiker? Remember we spoke to a guy, a French guy?

He was in the South Island, just out of Christchurch, and he was hitchhiking, and a car stopped, and it was the Mangalmob, a car full of Mangalmob members. And they were like, hop in hop in mate where are you going he's like oh no just travelling New Zealand, they're like oh well we're going to the Hawke's Bay in the North Island, I don't know what I think it might have been the mongol mob AGM or something

and you hand out the bloody mongol mobber of the year or the most improved mongol mobber or best leather vest wearing you know and he travelled the length of the country with them, stayed at other members' houses on the way up. Wow. And said they were the most lovely people ever,

looked after him, fed him, put him up. He came to the AGM. I don't know if it's an AGM. Wow. If they look at the year's finances and... Jeez, what a story. And then he ended up at their party in the Hawke's Bay and he was just like, they just treated me beautifully.

He said he was a little interested at the beginning. He was a little put off, but he just said they just were lovely people. One of those experiences, you'd be like, okay, am I doing this? Great tourism, isn't it? The Mungamob tours of New Zealand. We could do that. All right, 0800 the hits is the telephone number. Neil's with us on New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you, mate? I'm pretty good. How are you,. All right, 0800 the hits is the telephone number. Neil's with us

on New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you, mate? I'm pretty good. How are you, sir? Well, we're doing well. You picked up a hitchhiker, Neil? I have, but the one I'm going to talk about

is my old man picked up two hitchhikers from America and they actually ended up staying with us for about two weeks. Ooh, that's a long time. Yeah, we actually took them around the Waikato, like to different tourist spots, you know,

like we've been to Rotorua and all the different places around. Two weeks, did it get to the point where you're like, when are these people ever going to leave? No, no, we're actually enjoying it. Oh, that's nice. Good on you. We're still in touch with them now.

Oh, isn't that lovely? This is like Clay. Those are the sort of stories that, you know, when they go back home overseas, they tell, you know, it's like, oh, we met these people. They're bloody good. It's like, yeah. This Californian surfing guy, Clay, he left his socks at my house.

I still wear them to this day. And every time I put those socks on, I'm reminded of Clay. Wonderful socks. Wonderful, comfortable socks. Thank you, Neil. Appreciate that. Dylan, you're on the air. Welcome to the show, mate.

Hey. Your dad did something with hitchhikers. Yes. My dad hitchhiked from Auckland all the way down to the bottom of the South Island and back. Wow. Is it an interesting game for him? How long does it take? He was 19 years old.

It took him a few months. He stopped off at a couple of towns. Had to get a job just to be able to continue his way down. Wow. To be able to pay. What an adventure. So how long did it take him? So all up, I think, from the top down

to the bottom and then back it was something like it was like a six month or a nine month all round trip. But he was working in between cities and towns. And he was staying at some people's houses, and yeah. Oh, manly man. I reckon he'd have like a checkered shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

Yeah. Yeah, one of those. And he'd have like calluses on his hands and big stubby sausage fingers, eh? Yeah. Digger driver. Digger driver. Yeah, driver digger. Yeah.

Yeah. No, dig anything out. You sound like a, I'm not that adventurous. You're that adventurous. I don't know. I can't imagine you being able to do that, Ben, either. What's that? Hitchhike around the whole country.

No, no. Or drive a digger. You can't drive a digger, actually. We've seen that on TV. You put one through my house. Your dad's a better class of human being than us, Dylan. You have a wonderful weekend. Thanks for listening, mate.

Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. This is the reception reception where we inconvenience hard-working receptionists to make us feel better about our professional lives because we're not in a role

radio announcer. It's pretty lowly. You're not in a role where you can walk into a business and go any messages for me? So this is what it's designed to do. Today we're going to do it a little bit different though, aren't we? I'm going to leave the room and you're going to ring someone, leave a message then I'll come back into the room, ring them up

and I'll find out as well if they can pass on the message. Whatever message you want to pass on, it makes me nervous. I just wanted you out of the room for this. I don't know if your morals would agree with the message I'm about to leave. So you walk out now. You go to the soundproof booth.

The soundproof booth. And I'm going to phone a haulage company in the Waikato to see if the reception will pass on a message to my friend Ben. Here we go. Good morning, Copeland Transport. Andrea speaking. Oh, hi, Andrea. How are you?

Good, thanks. How are you? Lovely day thanks. How are you? Lovely day out there, isn't it? Beautiful. Listen, hey, Andrea, can I just leave a message? Yes. Leave a message for Ben? We don't have a Ben here.

Oh, he gave me this number. He said if I leave a message with you, you'll pass it on. Okay, well, are you able to just take down the message? I can, but I can't give it to him because I don't know who he is. What's his last name? Boyce. Ben Boyce, no. Doesn't ring any bells?

No, we've never had a Ben Boyce work here. Right. Now he's a bit of a no-name. No. Yeah. He hasn't got a side of him or anything. So you've never heard of him before? No.

In any form? No. No, nothing. Not a Ben Boyce. Not a Ben Boyce, no. Anyway, I'll leave a message. Okay. If you can pass it on, that'd be great.

Sure. If you could just tell him the ointment arrived. Okay. For the chafing on his inner thighs Right, poor Ben And also if you could pass on another message to him Could he stop shaving himself in the bathroom? Yeah

Yeah, okay He's leaving curly hairs all over the floor Oh poor Ben, he's going to have nothing left He's quite curly hairs all over the floor. Oh, poor Ben. He's going to have nothing left. He's quite a smooth individual. So I'll leave that with you. Is that okay? I've got to go now. Okay.

Thanks for your call. Ben's coming back in from the soundproof booth. Welcome back, Ben Boyce. Oh, God. Okay, we're going to phone a trucking company. We're going to phone a haulage company in the Waikato. Okay, I'll just say my name. You just say, oh, hi, it's Ben here.

I understand there's a message left for me, and I feel relatively confident she'll pass it on. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Hi, Andrea speaking. Oh, hi, Andrea. It's Ben calling.

Yeah, we've got your message. We've got your message. I don't know what the message is. I'm a bit nervous, Andrea. And obviously, by your laughter, it's... Well, your ointment's arrived anyway. Is that my message? Oh, good.

I've been waiting for that for a while, so it's good that it's arrived. Oh, it is. Okay. There was another part of the message too. Andrew's obviously too polite to pass on the whole message. On the whole message? You've got a bit of chafing apparently in your inner thighs.

The inner, yeah, I have. In the thighs. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're part of this, Andrew. And the shaving bit. And I think you've left some bits on the floor. Oh, the shaving?

Yeah, okay. All right. Well, Andrea, I'm sorry to rope you into this. Well, I didn't, but I'm sorry my friend did. That's quite all right. Sort of teared up my day a bit. Oh, you sound awesome. Thank you, Andrea.

All right, you guys have a good day, eh? I don't know if you guessed, it's Jono and Ben here from The Hits. Yeah, figured that one out. This is the reception reception where we test receptionists to see if they'll pass on messages and thank you so much.

You're a superstar. Oh, we pass. Excellent. Oh, well done. Hey, thank you. Have a great day. Thank you, too. See you.

Bye. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Buy. Know what's up. Buy.co.nz With Juliet, our millennial producer,

Mildew, getting ready for another weekend of rocky walkers partying and breaking social distancing regulations. I'm actually going camping this weekend. Oh, yeah? Where are you going? Up north, I think to Rua Kaka, maybe.

Are you a tent situation? Yeah, tent situation. Apparently it's meant to be raining, but we'll see how that goes. So much admin involved with camping. Oh, there is. I mean, it looks fun once it's set up, but then packing it up and finding the little pegs for all the ropes and that. That's the thing.

You're right. Those spaces where you turn up and it's all ready for you. Glamping. You guys are glamping types of guys. Don't tell the South Island. It's good that we're not probably broadcasting. I prefer just sleeping under the stars after I've killed an animal with my bare hands. Right, yeah.

Anyway, you know, you're far more worldly than us, Juliet. Thank you. So enjoy your weekend of camping. So in some spy news, so the band that provided Joe Exotic songs on Tiger King has written a song about Carole Baskin, but you might know this one. Because I saw a tiger

Now I understand No? It's from the Tiger King, mate. Get amongst it. Oh, this is actually Joe. Yeah, because Joe Exotic, he did have a bit of a recording career. He released a few songs.

Yeah. So the band that was behind that and helped him out, they've released a new song called Killer Carol. Get a load of this. Was he murdered for the money by a woman who's insane? Would you form without a conscience, baby? What a bloody shame. Is the body buried deep?

Is the body underground? Tell me, Killer Carol, where the body can be found? About her husband. Who got fed to the tigers. Wow. It sounds like a parody song. It does. I know.

And all of those songs from the Tiger King and that one included, they're going to be all released as an album on Spotify and other streaming services. Oh, they are milking this tiger as much as they can, can't they? These rednecks are trying to get as much money out of this as they can. Are they still doing the legal thing with Donald Trump? Yes, I think so. But I don't know. I haven't checked on progress on that.

Well, he's not happy Joe Exotic because Carole Baskin's got to get his zoo right. I know. So he's like saying this is an outrage. Yeah. He's not happy. That's the word from inside prison. Yeah, but he sent his lawyer with no sleeves

to the White House to go and sort it all out. Yeah, exactly. In a big bus that looks like a party bus where people would dance on poles, you know. That's what they've gone to the White House in. It's a crazy, crazy story, but we'll follow it until it's dead. Yeah, absolutely. For more spy, you can head...'s what they've gone to the White House in. It's a crazy crazy story, but we'll follow it until it's dead. Yep, absolutely.

For more spy, you can head to... Like Carol Baskin's husband. You can head to the Stoke Island NZ for more spy. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. The big news yesterday in New Zealand, as far as sport was concerned, was All Black legend

and Canterbury legend Dan Carter coming back to rugby and playing for the Blues. We all know the Canterbury-Auckland rivalry. But I think it's awesome for the game that Dan's playing. And I was really keen to get Dan Carter on the show. Keen? You were like a tyrant. He sat us all down. We all had to sit on the floor while he was on a seat

on the bordering table. He had the power. He had his hands behind his head with his feet on the desk. And he's like, listen up, you little minxes. You don't get me Carter tomorrow. You're all gone. Don't say this. So what happened is that you guys.

He swung his big microphone around. Now, I thought this morning, because we got a message last night on our little message group thing. It's just like, Dan Carter confirmed in the morning. He's an early morning interview before the show because he's going on Breakfast TV. I was like, oh great, we've got Dan Carter. This is exciting. I put some questions down. Came into work really excited about talking to Dan Carter, but it wasn't to be. No, this is at 10

to 6 this morning. And to let you in on it, overnight, Producer Juliet and Producer Humphrey and Heidi, they went and trawled through hundreds of Dan Carter interviews and pulled bits of audio. So Heidi was in another room. Playing bits of audio like this, like just stuff that Dan would answer at another radio and TV interviews.

Thank you. Good to be here. Yeah, it was pretty humbling. Playing that down the phone. We started with a person from another station acting as his PR representative at the beginning of the call. And here is Ben's exclusive interview with Dan Carter. You can basically play a game. How long before I work out it's not actually Dan Carter? Morning, guys.

I've got Dan on the line. Please keep it quick. He's only got five minutes. Thank you. Okay, cool. Thanks. Hey, guys. Dan Carter, thank you for joining us.

Hey, how's it going? Congratulations on coming back to rugby. It's very exciting news. Good to be here. Thank you. Now, the blues thing came out of nowhere, mate. Yeah, it was a little bit strange, to be honest. And when they approached me about 18 months ago, I was like, really? No, it's a silly idea. It's a little bit embarrassing. But then I thought, you're never going to be able to please everyone. But the timing was right

and it's exactly what I needed in the stage of my career and you're really enjoying it. Oh, yeah, because your family, very staunch Cantab fans, your nana, your dad especially, are you worried you're going to be disowned by your family? No, I've lived here in Auckland since about 2008, but honestly, I never could do it.

Had a couple of offers. There was no other team I was going to play for. Right. Now, everyone's mentioning your age in every article. They're like, you know, 38-year-old Dan Cutters. Are the players calling you old man on the field? I guess I just really want to keep playing as long as I possibly can. I think the real challenge for me is to keep improving my game.

I want to be remembered as a rugby great. Now, Danny, are there plans to go back overseas or are you sticking with the Blues for the next couple of years? We've got a bit of a leadership group within the side, the experienced guys we've got some real experienced guys that are sort of getting up to their 40, 50, sort of 60 caps so they've got a lot of experience

that they sort of feed down to the young guys Yeah now a few years ago what would have been more embarrassing for you Dan Carter seeing your giant jockey billboard in town or seeing you in a blues rugby jersey? Yes. Short answer. Okay. All right.

Okay, right. So when's the first game? You go. When's the first game? Well, I'm not too sure, to be honest. Okay, now, today a lot of press, a lot of interest in your move to the Blues, obviously. Yeah, it's quite an unusual feeling, to be honest.

Yeah. Is this legit? Sorry, Dan. If it is, Dan. Is this, Jono, is this actually Dan Carter? Yeah. Dan Carter. Yes, it's Dan Carter. Can I just ask a question now, Dan. If it is Dan. Is this, Jono, is this actually Dan Carter? Yeah. Dan Carter. Yes, it's Dan Carter. Can I just ask a question now, Dan Carter? Dan Carter, is this you actually talking to us right now?

Thank you. Good to be here. No, it's not him. Well, I'm not too sure, to be honest. What if I told you it wasn't Dan Carter? What is it, though? It's obviously him answering questions. Listen, producer Juliet, producer Humphrey

have been taking excerpts from 300 Dan Carter interviews. We know how badly you wanted to talk to him this morning. I'm a big fan of Dan Carter. Well, thank you for your time this morning, Dan. Hey, guys. It was like a couple of answers. I'm like, oh, yes. And then a couple of them were like,

is he listening to what I'm saying or not? He's just like, no, I've got my answers. Is there anything else you want to say to him? Oh, Dan Carter, do you remember when you signed some underpants for me one day and then my mum Jenny washed them afterwards? No, not 100%. I didn't tell you about my mum washing them, that's why. Oh, Dan Carter, absolute honour and exclusive of Dan Carter,

who's not doing any press. The hits, number one for all your Dan Carter news. Oh, it's good. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Oh, we're in the middle of an absolute mudstorm at the moment here. I'm not happy, Ben. You can tell by the tone of my voice.

Right. No, our Christchurch frequency, our Our Christchurch Frequency, our beloved Christchurch audience that we know and love, all of them. Could name them all now, because there's only three of them. They've been listening to News Talk ZB this morning. Somehow Mike Hosking

skulked onto our Frequency first thing, strode on in with his bloody Gucci chinos and his Ralph Lauren polo shirt. Italian loafers, don't forget about those shoes. And then halfway through 7.30, it switched from ZB in Christchurch over to Radio Hauraki.

The devious, irresponsible shenanigans of Matthew and Jeremy in the morning. No, no, I will have none of this. Currently playing on our Christchurch frequency. So yeah, it takes apparently fixing it, but how do they fix it and go from ZB to Hodaki? I don't know. I'm like, surely just flick a goddamn button

and put it back to where it belongs. Oh no, can't do that. But we can change it from ZB to Hodaki on our clean living, fun, family friendly, polo shirt wearing, household shopper appealing brand, they're out there ruining it. We should see what you're wearing right now as you say this. Do you want me to describe and detail what you're wearing?

You can describe me. No, it's fine. If you want to pull the rug. He thinks I'm dressed like a homeless person from a clothing bit. You do look like that. But I'll have none of their filth on our brand. And I apologise to our Canterbury audience. Jono and Ben's very responsible safe social distancing tour.

Now, when we hit level one, we're sending cardboard cutouts of Jono and Ben, the two of us, to Bluff, and we want to see if the cardboard cutout makes its way back to Auckland Studios with your help. Now, if it gets to the studio successfully, everyone that's posted a photo with the cardboard cutout on Instagram using the hashtag,

hashtag Jono and Ben 5K cutout, are in the draw to win $5,000. We'll let you know where you can help transport it and how you're going to get a photo with it along the way. Now, before it's even begun, before the journey has started, we've hit a controversial snag. And I'm not talking about you offering free deep tissue Swedish massage to the printer who made the Cardboard Cutout.

Yeah, but I have that office still stands. And you're wonderful. Hands are magical fingers you have, Ben. We call them magic fingers, don't we, around here? Yeah, do we? We're just taking them to HR about six times. Old magic fingers back in at HR. Old fingers McGee.

That's not true at all. I know I'm now meant to let you talk, but I'm not. I can't stand for that one. Glenn from Temaru, welcome to Magic Fingers McGee. That's not true at all. I know I'm now meant to let you talk, but I'm not. I can't stand for that one. Glenn from Temaru, welcome to Magic Fingers and Jono on the hits. How are you? Hey, boys. G'day. How are you doing?

Now, Glenn has found a loophole. Now, this is the controversy. Okay. Now, the floor is yours. Explain your loophole. Well, just quickly, how big is this cutout? Are we talking normal human size here? Yeah, it's around about six foot, I imagine.

Beauty. Maybe it's just a little bit shorter than that. And it's probably, well, yeah, it's basically Jono and Ben white. So not that white, but it's us white. Well, that just sounds like the perfect size for my yoke. I'm sitting here in Timber's heart. So I'm thinking I might just head on down the bluff, hijack that puppy, come up to Auckland and claim my money.

Oh, claim my money. You sound like an evil genius plotting to take over the world. Oh, right. This is not how we saw it go. No, we took our eye off the ball. We were too worried about reigniting coronavirus with this. But while we were focusing on that, we didn't think about anyone trying to fraud the competition. I mean,

technically there's nothing stopping us from stopping, nothing stopping Yeah, we can't stop it. He's going. We can't go out like that. The only thing that should stop you should be your conscience, because you're taking money off your fellow HIST listeners. That's not really a good enough reason, is it?

If that's the biggest reason, guys, I think that money's mine, and if it's not, it's not really a good enough reason, is it? If that's the biggest reason, guys, I think that money's mine. And if it's not, it's going in the river. It's going in the river. All right. It's really smart.

It's really smart. It could be 99 to the competition. Is there T's and C's in this thing on the website? There is T's and C's, but okay,

well, we're going to have to put some more T's and C's in before it starts. Why don't we, okay, now here's the deal. Glenn, well done

Well played You know Touche Yeah But how about we create Stages for the cardboard cutouts So they had For example

When it starts It has to go from Bluff to Invercargill And then it stops there For a while People get photos In Invercargill And then we get the stage

From Another listener To transport it From Invercargill To Timaru Where Glenn is. Yeah. And then he can take it from there to Christchurch, for example.

So, ha! I tell you what, mate, if your promo crew's the size of Ben, they'll be 40kgs, tripping wet, and that'll still be my cutout. Well, we've just made up some T's and C's on the spot, so we'll see who wins this one. But well done, Glenn, well done. You have a great weekend, Glenn. And we've got a little bit more work to do behind the scenes.

It's quite clear. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Now, yesterday, Ben, we were sent some audio by your wife, Amanda. Audio of you singing karaoke last weekend, Saturday night. I thought this was in a private residence, you know, under 10 people. Cast your mind back to 1994, where you sung Seal's Kiss from a Rose.

I don't know what the follow-up song was. Ace of Base, All That She Wants? I don't know. You delved deep into the karaoke archives. Well, someone said it was a very tough song, one of the hardest songs to sing, so I thought I'd give it a crack, and it did not sound good.

There used to be a grey tower alone on the sea. Okay, okay, that's enough. That's a no from me. I like the high note you nailed. I didn't know whether to go high or low, so I just kind of went in. I just kind of made a noise that only dogs could hear. So you put it together with our seal,

so I was singing like a duet, right, yesterday? There used to be a grey tower alone on the sea. You were king, the light of the dark side of me. Love remains a drug that's too high not to be. Stop. I like the next bit. No, that when it snows. That like the next bit. I was really giving him like, oh, man. So we had a bit of an exec meeting and it was decided we're going to turn this into a thing.

Ben's Duets. So every Friday, people that find listens to the hits to the show get to vote on which song you have to do Saturday night karaoke to. And then Monday, we'll jill you up with the particular artist in question. It seems like a logical extension. No one wants to listen to this. No one does.

I do. Juliet? Yeah. Sign me up. So the two songs that we thought we'd put up. I can't sing. Clearly I can't sing. The two songs we put up for vote.

Lewis Capaldi. Oh, no. Tough song. So that's up for vote. 0800 the hits. Telephone number or 4487. The other option, we've gone back a couple of years because we know how deep you like to delve into your karaoke songs.

Adele. Never mind, I'll find someone like you. I love the long notes in all of them because that's where you crumble. The long notes. I lose confidence within a three-second sort of long note. Okay, so what, you want to text people? Texting through? You can text 4487 or R800, the hits, Ben's Duets, on Monday.

Capaldi or Adele, what am I going to be singing embarrassingly over the weekend that you can hear on Monday? Kia ora, I'm Jane Yee. I'm Alex Casey. And I'm Duncan Grave. We are the hosts of The Real Pod and Confession Cam Time. We bloody love reality telly. If we sound like your type on paper, join us each week for your

fix of reality TV news, recaps and gossip. On The Real Pod, it's perfectly fine to like reality TV. It's a safe space, so let down your walls, wear your heart on your sleeve and remember, it is what it is. And what it is, is The Real Pod. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network

and available wherever you get your pods. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, of course, things are slowly starting to return to normal in New Zealand. We're doing a bloody good job as a country, and for the first time in a long time, I went to the gym yesterday. I hadn't been, you know, I've been doing the home workouts through lockdown and stuff,

but I hadn't... You can tell. Thanks, mate. You're looking big. It's almost like, I don't know how you get your sleeves on over those arms. They're enormous. So I went to the gym and, you know, it was weird to go back to the gym again because you hadn't been there for a while.

But, you know, once you kind of get in there, you're like, okay, fine. Everything's a bit more separated. Use hand sanitiser, spray down stuff. Do they stop you at the door and go, sorry, no under 18s allowed? No, they don't. That's not a problem?

My small-sized body. But what I didn't realise is, because I hadn't been to the gym for a while, is, you know, you mock me, but I like to wear skins, performance, compression tights. I don't know why you do it. The only people who should legally be allowed

to wear skins are the Vodafone Warriors and Dwayne the Rock Johnson. That's it. That's where it starts and finishes. I know. And I am definitely not a person that wears skins without shorts over the top. To explain for those that don't know what skins are,

they're sort of tights, aren't they? They're like, they call them compression tights. I don't know what's wrong with everybody's normal skin. My skin's done me well. Until now, I don't know why I need skin on top of skin. Extra skin on top of skin. But there you go. But I did a warm-on yesterday to the gym.

First time back. But I'd forgotten to put shorts over the top of the skins and didn't realise until I'd got in there. And I'm like, oh, this is not a look for me. You've got to be a confident individual, like Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Yeah, Dwayne The Rock Johnson could wander around with skins with no shorts.

Yeah, like me. I'm like, oh, no. So I had a gym towel and I sort of just wore it like a sort of loincloth. Sort of tucked in over the top. Like a sumo wrestler. And then I was like, no, I had to sort of wrap up the gym and go home. I was like, maybe homework. Well, you had to wrap up something else more importantly and take that home.

There was literally like half a millimetre between you and nakedness. Yeah, I know. In the gym. But some people confidently walk around like that. All sorts of things. I've had a shocker in the gym. I've had two treadmill incidents. One you witnessed.

Yes. One you witnessed. We flew. It was a long flight. I don't know if it was a long flight. Anyway, it was a- It was like a 12-hour flight. 12-hour flight.

And then Ben was like, oh, let's go to the gym in Los Angeles and wait. Instead of going to sleep and ruining our body clocks, let's stay awake and let's go through. Let's go to the gym. Los Angeles and wait. Instead of going to sleep and ruining our body clocks, let's stay awake and let's go through. Let's go to the gym. You're like, all right, mate. And so we went to the treadmill. We're running along on the treadmills, and I think you just dozed off.

I fell asleep while running. How did you do that? Literally, I don't think my body's used to travelling at such speeds. It's shut down. I just saw you go whoop off the edge of the treadmill and end up over by the water cooler. I'm like, wow. And then I had another treadmill incident here

where I'd finished running, you know, two or three minutes in and I thought I'd push stop. So I was just going to go get a wipe here, wipe down the treadmill. But I didn't realise it entered sort of some sort of resting mode. So the treadmill's still going.

And then between me leaving, another lady walked up, and she stepped onto it, and just it took her out at a rate of knots. Like, her feet just came out from straight underneath her. And I was like, oh, dear God, I'm sorry. Are you okay? Are you okay? But she was saying she was okay. But the

tyre marks on her face were saying different things. The poor lady. Remember when her sister phoned us up? She phoned the radio station. We had to ring and apologise to her. It was vicious. The poor lady. Remember when her sister phoned us up? She phoned the radio station. We had to ring her. You had to ring and apologise to her. It was vicious. I felt awful. Oh, you were awesome.

It was a genuine mistake. Yeah. It's a lesson for new players. They still keep going if you haven't pushed them. Yeah, they're good. You never know what could happen to the gym. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads.

Now, you know, you tune into the radio. You just push a button. You know normally what you're meant to listen to because that's the radio frequency it's broadcast on. But today there's been a bit of a switch around going on in Christchurch. Absolute balls up. To bring the rest of the country up to speed, the hits frequency in Christchurch.

Firstly, this morning was taken over by Mike Hosking on Newstalk ZB. So he was broadcasting there all his biscotti and his espresso and Giorgio Armani sunglasses. He was getting that down there. He was getting a double frequency because he's only played in Christchurch and he gets played again on our frequency. Then 7.30 it switches over to the vape pens and wet t-shirt competitions

of Radio Hauraki. Matt and Gerry. And so they're currently on the air in Christchurch now. And so the hits listeners in Christchurch are phoning through to their show. Now accidentally we're now broadcasting on the hits frequency in Christchurch. This is a great opportunity for us to promote ourselves in Christchurch are phoning through to their show. Now, accidentally, we're now broadcasting on the hits frequency in Christchurch. This is a great opportunity for us to promote ourselves in Christchurch. Caitlin, welcome to the Matt and Gerry show.

I believe you're a hits listener who's accidentally being forced to listen to our show this morning. Yes, yes, that's me. How are you feeling about that, Caitlin? Um, a little bit disappointed, to be completely honest with you, but it's not the worst thing that could happen. What would you give us so far? You've never listened to our show before? I haven't, no.

What would you give us out of 10 so far? Well, you don't talk as much crap as they do, to be fair. Is that a good or a bad thing? Well, that's the thing. It's a little bit more interesting the more crap they talk. Oh, really? Heather, Caitlin reckons that we possibly need to talk more crap like Jono and Ben. I see you're a hits listener as well that's listening to the Manjaro show.

Well, yeah, I am a hits listener. Yeah, yeah, I got in the car to drive to work and turn on the radio and was a bit lost, to be honest. I thought it was for the kids that have been playing with the dial. But, you know, I don't really like Jono and Ben. So it's quite nice to have a change. Oh, look at you. I think we should do this more often. Oh, Heather, we'll keep you on.

Yeah, look at you. Very refreshing. Oh, Heather. So there we go. We've got some mixed response. We're stealing Caitlin and Heather, our only two listeners in Christchurch. They've gone over.

Some are happy about it. Some aren't, yeah. So we understand that they're going to call us very shortly. We're happy about it. Some aren't, yeah. So we understand that they're going to call us very shortly. We're going to be live on Radio Harake. We're going to address

this issue here. And we're going to be live on our frequency in Christchurch for the first time today. It's Radio Inception. It's quite confusing, isn't it? We want to say hello

to our Christchurch audience. Ben, I know we've spent a lot of time rebranding ourselves as a clean-cut, family-friendly option. And I can only imagine all of our good work being undone right now by Matt and Gerry on Radiofriendly option. And I can only imagine all of our good work

being undone right now by Matt and Gerry on Radio Hauraki. And they're ringing through right now. The hotline is going. Hello? Hello, is that Jono and Ben? It is. This is the hits. Or is it?

Well, is it? We're confused now. In Christchurch, it's Hauraki. We've taken over now. You guys, this frequency doesn't need your lowbrow humour. We've rebranded. We're family friendly now. Yeah, the people of Christchurch, they had Dan Carter taken from them.

They don't need this. They don't need to adjust to this now. What do you mean? We've got the host of Seven Sharp on the Matt and Jerry Breakfast Show, Jeremy Wells. He's very clean living. To be honest, we're just very nervous. It's a far better option for the CanTab audience.

Well, I just want to say this. If you're listening to the hits right now, don't forget that we're normally on 106.5 on the dial. Oh, jeez. We're in the hot real estate of 106.5. It doesn't even go up to 106. I thought it stopped at 100. I know that.

It's insane, 106.5. It might as well be 144. This is great marketing for you guys, as good as the Steady the Ship hats, you know? So well done, well played. Oh, Ben, I'll tell you what. This is the first marketing spend we have had on Radio Huttikie in seven years.

This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to us. Well, you take it. And we will charge you for the advertising. We'll give your mates rates on the rate card, 97.7. So we're under the 100 frequency in Christchurch. Oh, we'd do anything for 97.7. The things we did to get that, yeah, we don't want to talk about. We can't talk about it at the Hits.

Maybe we can now we're on Hodaki. Love your work, boys. Alright, thanks for giving us your frequency. We're not giving it back. Hello to Christchurch. We miss you, Christchurch. Oh, there we go. They're meant to be great New Zealanders, aren't they? Savage New Zealanders. to Christchurch. Hi Christchurch. We miss you Christchurch. Oh there we go. There we go. Yeah so there's Christchurch. They're meant to be

great New Zealanders aren't they? Yeah savage New Zealanders. That's uh. 106 though on the frill. Gee whiz. Geez I think they are. Is that even a thing?

I don't know if it is. It is the hits I think. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Yeah I know publicly

you've been a big campaigner a big anti-umbrella campaigner, Ben. It's just walking around with an umbrella. The actual just taking them with you just seems like a lot of maintenance. A lot of work. Well, not really. They're pretty light. They're pretty thin. It's one of the extra things you have to remember.

It's like carrying a stick. But if you've got to carry it on the off chance it rains, I'd just rather it rain. And then I'm like, oh, I didn't have an umbrella, than just having to carry it on the off chance it rains. I'd just rather it rain, you know, and then I didn't have an umbrella than just the, you know, having to carry around an umbrella. Oh, well, yesterday the joy I witnessed is there were torrential downpours outside work.

Is that when I was crashing into my car? I was thinking about umbrellas then. It was like... I was like, oh, I could do with an umbrella right now. Jesus had opened the floodgates, floodgates. Oh, it was really? Yeah, and all I could see you was scrambling around outside your car through the window. You were getting saturated.

You couldn't unlock the door. You were panicking with the boot. I did wish for an umbrella then. You're right. Every second counts in that instance. I know. You were soaking wet like a soaking wet beaver. Yeah, I was.

I was far stretched. Like a beaver who'd been beavering away in the dam. It's funny, though. I did get the car, and I was like, oh, jeez, that's the one time. That's my umbrella time. Yeah. I was. I was far straight. Like a beaver who'd been beavering away in the dam. It's funny, though. I did get the car, and I was like, oh, jeez. That's the one time. That's my umbrella time. Yeah. I smiled.

I was like, just last week, he was like, umbrellas are useless. Yeah, I know. They're a useless piece of apparatus. It really came back to bite me, didn't it? You tell that to Rhianna, mate. You tell Rhianna umbrellas are useless. She built a career off umbrellas, you monster.

More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Alright, this is where we look through your feed,

not your actual meals. If we're looking through Juju's, producer Juliette Mildew, millennial Juliette's meals. How many nicknames, eh? How many nicknames did you have to explain

them every time to? It would all be avocado-based, your meal. Yeah, I know. Your avocado consumption is astounding. I know. When I was a child, I ate no other vegetable apart from avocado. Like, Mum would just scoop half an avocado on my plate as a kid,

and I would just, it would be my favourite thing. If there was an intravenous drip we could mainline into your bloodstream, just avocado. Straight avo. Oh, so good. Now, some things that we've found in the news today. If you're waking up, New Zealand's biggest agricultural event, Field Days, going to be totally online this year.

So a virtual Field Days because obviously the uncertainty around COVID-19, they haven't been able to put it together in time, which is sad, but hopefully it'll be a success online. It's like the farmer's rhythm and vines, isn't it, Field Days? It is. We've been down there a couple of times. You came back, you got quite caught up in the magic. I'm one of those people that get swept up in the... You got two swan dries.

I've got a swan dry and gumboots. I was like, what is he doing? I have no right to wear a swan dry. But you wear it quite often, don't you? I do. And something that disgusts the farmers is I get it dry cleaned and they're like, mate, you don't dry clean a swan dry. You let a cold southerly

wash a swan dry. What an Aucklander. What a lecker. I drove down there in my Range Rover and bought some lovely swan drys. Got it dry cleaned. Got some mud on my gumboots. But it's a crazy, when we had to go down there and do a radio show and they're like, oh, we're doing the afternoon,

we're doing drive then. That's right. And we started at three, but field day shut at 4.30, so we're just sitting in this giant event centre by ourselves, talking to ourselves. I thought we were in a panic.

I was in a panic. They packed around, we're under a tent, a quick up, and they packed that up around us, so the tent went. It was pitch black. And the table went,

and we just sat there on two chairs doing a radio show to no one. I'm trying to unbend down a few days. How do we get out of here? Everyone's left. Nothing more humbling than that. It's crazy. It's the only place where you've got 100,000 people, but none of them are saying anything.

The farmers, they don't say much, do they? Yep. Bloody good, bloody good. Hopefully it's a good one this year online. I guess they're saying it has the ability to go global this year, being online. It's quite smart. It's the way of the future.

There was a lot of, I felt, premature cancellations of events during COVID. They're like, cancel Christmas in the park. But we're back in level one next week. You can still organise Christmas in the park. But I did hear the lady on where we get most of our radio prep on Kate Hawkesby's show, driving into work on ZB. The CEO of Field Day said it takes pretty much a year to plan it,

and they weren't sure, and it takes 10 weeks to set up. So they said, oh, well, we're just going to have to go with what we know, and that would be like, let's put it online. So there you go. Way to talk me down, mate. Put me in my place. Shut up, you bald idiot. You don't know what you're talking about.

And also, there was a big stoush in Parliament yesterday between David Seymour, ACT MP, and Winston Peters, Deputy Prime Minister, and this is how it went down. I'll answer the question, Sunshine, when I get to it, all right? David Seymour. It's all right, Grandpa. OK, Grandpa, did he say?

It's all right, Grandpa. It's all right. But Sunshine, only people over the age of 80 can say, all right, Sunshine. So Winston called him OK, Sunshine, and then he responded with, yeah, it's all right, Grandpa. What do you prefer, OK, Boomer, or it's all right, sunshine. So Winston called him, okay, sunshine, and then he responded with, yeah, it's all right, grandpa. What do you prefer, okay, boomer,

or it's all right, grandpa? Oh, okay, boomer's probably got a better ring to it. Well, and it went international, didn't it? Went international. If I was a politician, because he got kicked out, right, David Seymour. Seymour got kicked out for saying,

okay, grandpa, yeah. If you couldn't be bothered sitting in a long session at Parliament, wouldn't you just stand up and go, Ben, you're a bloody skinny idiot, and then get kicked out and you get the rest of the day off? True.

It's a smart play. It is. You're like, why can't I? I'm out. They kicked me out. It is very smart. Ben, why are you wearing a Captain Planet T-shirt?

You're a politician. They're like, right, out of here, mate. You've had enough. I told you. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. This is Synchronised Answering.

Very fun game that we play. Synchronised Odds. We're producing Juliette, Mildew, Juju. I love your nicknames. You've got so many aliases. Oh, I know. I'm so mad at you. I'm really from Yahoo.

Everyone else calls her Juliette or Juju, but you're like... Takes me five minutes to introduce you with all your nicknames. My mum calls me Etsy Spaghetti. I don't know where that came from. I'll add that to my list. We're producer Juliet. She asks Ben and me questions.

If we get the same answer at the same time, we steal a prize off a listener. It's pretty savage. Yeah, but we don't know what you're going to ask us, and we have three seconds to, in our heads, formulate an answer. We've synced up a couple of times, but it's very tough. Yeah, well we do spend, you know, 90% of the radio show talking over each other, so every now

and then you're going to sync up and answer the answer bed. Yeah, okay. Jenny, welcome from Upper Hutt. How are you? I'm good, thank you. Yeah, I love Upper Hutt. A lot of burnouts, a lot of mullets. Bit of a stereotype there, Jenny. I'm sorry, have you got a mullet?

No, I don't have a mullet, but there are still a few around here. Yeah, I remember my times in Wellington that some of my cousins lived in Upper Hutt. They were arborists and they were just a bit like 10.30 on a Saturday morning, they'd just get to the front of their house and start doing burnouts. I'm like, is this

a done thing? It's Bogan City, you know that. Love it, love it. All right, so Jenny, well done. You've won a double pass to Reading Cinemas to the movies. Oh, excellent. But Ben and me can steal those movie tickets off you so we can finally have some romantic time together.

If we synchronise and answer. Here we go. All right, name for me, Jono and Ben, a herb. Basil. Ore herb. Basil. Nice. Oregano. Yeah. Are you an oregano guy?

I was trying to think of a herb. That was the only one I had. Normally I have like a filing system in my head going, oh, there's lots of options. That one I'm like, oh, jeez, I don't have many. I don't use herbs much. You're a herbs person. I'm not again.

I've been using the HelloFresh. They come with the herbs and stuff. Oh, do you sort of sprinkle them with your fingers? Yeah, they come with a little bit of herbs. Like salt bait? Yeah a herbs person. I'm not again. I've been using the Hello Fresh. They come with the herbs and stuff. Oh, do you still sprinkle them with the fingers? Yeah, they come with a little bit of herbs. Like salt bait? Yeah, salt bait. I can imagine you. Jenny, you've still got the movie tickets.

Next category, Juju. Name for me a boy band past or present. Backstreet Boys. We're going to be in sync with In Sync, but we weren't. Okay, Jenny, the tickets are still yours. Name for me a Shortland Street character. Chris Warner. TK Samuels.

Why would you go TK Samuels? Why not? You're automatically trying to lose this. So Jenny gets tickets, I know you. You're like, we can't not give people tickets. I'm going to try and think of... Okay, we'll go one more. He tries hard not to sync up with me.

Okay, we'll see if we can try. All right, name for me a children's book. Harry McLaren! There you go! We got the tickets! I knew you were trying to get them wrong on purpose. Jenny,

I'm sorry you've lost your movie tickets, but I'll tell you what, you have won. You've won our hearts with this phone call. Thank you so much. I couldn't have anything better on a Friday morning. You look after yourself, Jimbo. Have a great weekend. Thanks, guys.

Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. Since we started this breakfast show on the hits, every day we've been calling a different town or place in New Zealand one a day until we get through every town or place in New Zealand. This is going to end up being the longest game on New Zealand radio, longer than Beat the Bomb or The Secret Sound

or will Gary McCormick make it through another one? Oh, jeez. Shots fired. You never know. Will we make it through another one? Oh, you never know that, too. Will we make it to the end of this two and a half years? Now, we started a few weeks ago doing this,

and we're still on the A's, and now we've made it all the way to Auckland. That's right. We've only got three more towns or cities to call, then we've hit the B's. Auckland, if you'd like to know a little bit of information, is the largest metropolitan city, home to 1.5 million people.

If you like sitting in your car and not moving, why not visit one of the many motorways in the city? Or maybe staying awake for an extended period of time is your thing. Then pop into some of West Auckland's backyard laboratories. Or if one of your hobbies is paying too much money for accommodation, then the city will provide a bevy of multi-million dollar shanty town style shacks for you to fall into debt for. And currently it's very moist.

Oh boy, oh boy. The moisture reader in Auckland at 87% moisture. All right. Going through to the Crafty Bakery here, Ben. You a big fan of a suburban bakery? I like a bakery, yeah. Always like a... Good morning, Crafty Bakery.

Clear me then. The Crafty Bakery. It's the Crafty Jono and Ben calling from the Crafty Hits here. How are you? Good, thank you. How are you? We're doing well. We are on a mission.

Do you want to hear about our mission? Yes. Our mission is to call every town and or city in New Zealand. It's going to take us two and a half years. We're doing one a day. And Auckland, where you live, with a crafty bakery, is craftily placed, is 17th on the list alphabetically welcome. Perfect.

There's 1.5 million people in Auckland. We've rung you. Oh, perfect. Just at random. Oh, really? Yeah. What do you think of Auckland? The highlights, the lowlights?

Auckland is amazing. Yeah. It has all my family here, so. And what was your name? Lavelle. Oh, so all Lavelle's family are in Auckland? Okay, so come and visit Lavelle's family in Auckland. That's a great selling point. Can they come and stay at your family's house?

Yeah, sure. Why not? That's an open-door policy at Lavelle's. And what else do you enjoy about Auckland? It has really good people, I guess. Ethnicity-wise. Oh, yeah, diverse culture. Yeah, all the different cultures.

I love it. Yep, yep. What about the... What about the bakery? This bakery is perfect. We have sourdough bread and filled donuts, all that stuff. You're doing your standard pies, your mince? Yes, we have organic pies.

Organic pies? Organic pies. Okay, so we're going to rattle through them. You just give us a yes or no. Mince? Yes. Mince and cheese? Yes.

Steak? Yes. Steak and cheese? Yes. Bacon and egg? No. No, no bacon and egg. Chicken chilli cheese? Chicken chilli cheese.

Oh, okay. And we have lots of vegetarian pies, including jackfruit and spicy veg. Changing the pie game. Okay, if someone comes to Auckland, one thing that they should do? Jump off the Harbour Bridge. Oh, and the bungee.

Yeah. I was like, oh, yeah, I see what you mean. The bungee off the Harbour Bridge. We've done that together, Jono, you and I. We have, we have. It's quite important if you say with a rope attached to your ankles there. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a good suggestion. You can also jump off the Skytab with a rope attached as well. Hey, well, listen, this has been great. Thank you so much for calling. Lavelle, look after yourself. You too. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Do you know what, Lavelle? look after yourself. You too. Thank you. Bye.

Bye. Do you know what, Lavelle? Do you know what? Yes. That was just a perfect ending. It just finished as the National Anthem was wrapping up. Yeah, I don't know if you heard that. Oh, yes, I did.

It was great. It's great timing. It doesn't get any better in commercial radio than that, okay? Thank you so much. And you provided that moment for us. That was all you. Yeah, we probably should have talked too long after that moment. We probably should have wrapped it up there, but it's been great. We've enjoyed talking to you. Oh, okay. Thank you so you. Yeah, we probably should have talked too long after that moment. We probably should have wrapped it up there, but it's been great.

We've enjoyed talking to you. Oh, okay. Thank you so much. Yeah, cool. You could have said you enjoyed talking to us. Yes, I do. Oh, yeah, good. I feel like Jono made you say that, but anyway. Have a good day. See you later. Bye. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, Jono, we hang out together, you know, a lot. A lot. Some would say too much. Some would say it's gone beyond a platonic relationship and it's venturing into marriage. The only thing stopping us from getting married are our other marriages. It's like a work marriage. It would be polygamy if we decided to go down to the registry office.

It's like a marriage that's 10 years in. None of the lovemaking. No. And when there is, it's like, you know, chuck it there. Get to it, mate. Get it over and done with. Something I noticed about you going, you know, hanging out with you all day as a do is you love to use a phrase

and I feel like you're overusing it. Do you know what the phrase is? Yes, I'll donate to your charity. Yes, I'll give my time and money to the children's hospital. Stuff like that. I haven't heard you say that once, even though we're hanging out 12 hours a day. It's bloody legend.

You're a bloody legend. Everyone's a bloody legend to you. That's so true. It does. G'day, legends. Oh, you're a bloody legend. And it's nice. Your heart's in the right place.

But I feel like you're overusing it. You use it like someone's like, oh, here you go. Here's a piece of paper you need for later. Oh, bloody legend, mate. Someone opens the door and keeps it open. You're like, oh, okay. Bloody legend. Oh, I'm sorry. If that's like, oh, here you go. Here's a piece of paper you need for later. Oh, a bloody legend, mate. Someone opens the door and keeps it open. You're like, oh, a bloody legend. Oh, I'm sorry.

If that's a bloody legend, then what's someone who, you know, finds a cure for COVID or like climbs the first person to climb Mount Everest? Well, they're a bloody legend too. Hey, mate, sorry. Do you wander around with a book, an A to Z book of the bloody legends that I'm allowed to call bloody legends? Or am I allowed to call people bloody legends? I just feel like a legend is, you know,

for someone who's a legend, these are nice things that people are doing and they should be rewarded and say, hey, thanks for that. But you're like, all right, legends. You know, bloody legends. It's good for morale. Who doesn't like being called a bloody legend?

It's like big balls. I'm like, hey, big balls. You'd be like, yeah, thanks, mate. Sometimes I feel like it's a little patronising. I'm like, here's your car keys. Oh, bloody legend, mate. I'm like, hey, big balls. You'd be like, yeah, thanks, mate. Sometimes I feel like it's a little patronising. I'm like, here's your car keys. Oh, bloody legend, mate. I'm like, he's taking the piss. I don't know.

So I'm just saying, you know, you use it how you want to use it. No, well, clearly I can't. No, you can. That's you. You do you. But I just wanted to say. You mumble. I do.

Is this a therapy session? Well, it wasn't meant to be, but I do. You're a mumbler. Okay. You're a mumbler. Especially at the moment, you know, your mumbling has reached peak mumble. I do. Is this a therapy session? Well, it wasn't meant to be, but I do. You're a mumbler. Okay. You're a mumbler. Especially at the moment, you know, where your mumbling has reached peak mumble. At the moment is when you don't know

whether to shake someone's hand or elbow them or hug them. And so he always ends up going, he goes in and he's like... He literally just does that noise. Because he gets all... I'll be shaking your leg. I don't know what to do anymore. Yes, I do. That's what you're doing. He literally just does that noise. Because he gets all angry. Are we shaking? Are we like... I don't know what to do anymore. Yes, I do. That's what you're doing.

That's what you're doing. And you groan in photos. What? When you listen to him, next time he's getting a photo taken, he's like going... I have a noise my wife pointed out to me. It's a smiling noise.

He's going to make a pained... All right, you text in caps. Nothing but caps. I'm sick of you. Stop shouting at me when you text. Yes. I received an email from Jono. Aggressively.

Hey, Jojo, I just had this idea. I was like, is he yelling at me? Hey. And he only emails once a week. On Sundays, he clears out his emails. Oh, look, I know that I'm not

meant to text in caps, but then when I look back up at the screen, it's all in caps. I'm like, oh, can't be bothered to go back

and do it again. Probably, oh, this was really good. It was therapy. It was good. End of the week, you know,

clear the air. Yeah, blow out the cobwebs. You're a bloody legend, mate. That's what I want to say. I did that on a good thing. You did.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with. You did. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. Producer Juliette, I tell you what, when she signed up for Spy, it was far less James Bond-y than she had imagined. With no spy skills. No.

Here she is from the vacuous world of celebrity gossip, Juliet. Hello. So, Reese Witherspoon, she's getting a bit of flack. So, she was paid over $8 million to narrate a TV show on a certain streaming platform that I've never heard of called Quibi. But other people in that same company are being made redundant. But the thing is also, her husband works for that company, so it's likely that he probably employed her

and he paid her $8 million to narrate this show. Wow. And it's also the lowest rating show on that streaming service, so is it worth it? Not sure. Did you get $8 million for narrating Road Cops all those years ago, John? My Road Cops cash put my kids through school.

Not you, though, because you can't say kids. Also, does he own the company? I think he's quite high up. Oh, what a, what a, what a. It reminds me of when Chris Hemsworth chose his girlfriend Dakota Johnson to direct their music video.

And she had it had... No, Hemsworth. Bloody what's his name? Chris Martin. Martin. Yeah. That's right. And she won the competition. No, Hemsworth. Bloody what's his name? Chris Martin. Martin. Yeah. That's right. And she won the competition.

To wreck their music video. Well, he would have been hearing about it if she didn't wear the competition. No, he's the one who entered the competition. Oh, God. Why did you enter nepotism at its finest? I know. And Chris Hemsworth, so he lives in Byron Bay in a mansion that is suspected to be worth $20 million now.

He posted a little video on Instagram basically showing off his house. And you can see, literally, they've got palm trees inside. It's been revealed that they've got also a 50-foot rooftop infinity pool on there. Oh, of course. He would have like, hey, bro, here's my half-pipe room.

Come and skate inside. You want to come to my indoor rainforest, bro? We'll hang out. We can just be nude. This is my nude room. Come and skate inside. You want to come to my indoor rainforest bro? We can just be nude. This is my nude room. He would be one of those guys, wouldn't he? He doesn't wear shoes anywhere he goes. Even when he walks into town and stuff, he's just like he's free and easy. Well, I guess Byron

Bay where he lives is a very relaxed place. There's probably heaps of Australians hanging loose you know? Come puff on my hookah pipe. What? I thought, what are those pipes? Are they hookahs? Heidi's nodding. Yeah, they're hookah pipes.

Okay, now I'm with you. What? What? What is going on? Yeah, they were thinking you were all sitting around. That's a little something for the six o'clock club, that one. I won't go away with that one after seven. Anyway, good on him.

$20 million. I know. Well, he bought it for, I think, $7 million. And now, because they bought the land, and then they constructed, you know, built the house. And with all of the extra embellishments that they've got, it's now worth $20 million. He seems like a guy that, if our paths ever crossed,

we'd be great mates. You know? Well, you know how everyone's like, I would be really good friends with that famous person only if they had the chance to meet me. You know? I'm sure you guys would get on. Why do you think that?

I don't know if you hang out all the time. Why do you think? He just seems like a guy that I'd get along with. Yeah, I know you do. How about, who's the celebrity that you think that would like you, Producer Juliet? Oh, I don't know. You put me on the spot.

You always hope that when you meet, if you ever do meet those people, they're going to go, you know what, let's go get a beer Oh, I don't know. You put me on the spot. I always hope that you meet, when you meet, if you ever do meet those people, they're going to go, you know what, let's go get a beer after. I'm hanging out. Anytime I did an interview with someone,

I'd be like, you know, we're all good, it's going to come, this question's going, what are you doing afterwards? Never happened. Actually, I met George Ezra a couple of years ago

and he was a great guy. So you're big friends with George Ezra? Yeah, George Ezra. Yeah, good fun. If only they had the chance to meet us mere mortals, we would have a lifelong friendship. Oh, totally.

For more spy, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app.