Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - June 09 - The Referendumb, Date Night Fails, How Much Have You Spent On Your Pet?

Episode Date: June 9, 2020

We're officially in Alert Level 1!How much have you spent on your pet?We're sending cardboard cutouts of ourselves around the countrySpyThe A To Z of New ZealandBen's date night failReception InceptionBoss Todd was caught leaving the pub on the News last nightThe Referendumb - Do you dry yourself in the shower?Scrolling Through Your FeedSynchronised Answers SpySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. This is the podcast. And it's a podcast. Yeah, welcome. Welcome. Do you know, I cheated on you with another podcast. Oh, you came back and you said, I've just been part of the Radio Hauraki podcast.

Yeah, their podcast intro. And they talk as much nonsense at the beginning of their podcast as we do. They were talking about something that we can't even mention on our family friendly podcast but you were involved in a debate. I got sucked into it. I got really involved in it actually. I had an opinion on it and everything. Stuff that we wouldn't talk about on family friendly the hits. But if you want to hear that for yourself you can head to the Hodaki podcast

but not now. Not before you listen to our podcast. This is probably the only podcast that starts by promoting another podcast. Yeah that's just the way we are here. We're very generous guys. Tell you what, Alan does a good podcast. Alan? Degenerous.

Oh, right. Does she? Does she do a podcast? I heard a podcast of hers over the weekend. I don't know how old it was. Oh, really? Yeah, she seemed like miserable. I know Conan O'Brien does a podcast.

He does a good podcast. Yeah. Jack Shepard's you like as well. He does a good podcast. Yeah, I did like Jack Shepard's for a while there. Oh, no, there's a few big players in the podcast game. Joe Rogan, obviously, is one of the top podcaster. Joe Rogan does his podcast while smoking the devil's kale.

Yeah, that's something else not for us as well here on the Hits. Not for us. Not for us. We just like good family-friendly fun. And that's all we're going to give you today. What's happening today on the podcast? Reception, reception. We phone businesses and use their reception to pass on messages to each other.

And Ben Boyce has been taking out some very dubious movie titles from a video store. Yes, they're still in business. Yeah, this is a very funny moment in today's podcast. Check it out. Enjoy. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Welcome along on a big day for New Zealand. Our first day at alert level one. No coronavirus cases in New Zealand. Coronavirus! It's free. Coronavirus! We're free from coronavirus. And we're making big news all over the world, New Zealand,

for being only one of nine countries with no active cases. So we can go back to just singing the first two lines of Happy Birthday while washing our hands now. Is that right? No. Now my food won't taste like Purell hand sanitiser. No, there's rules. Oh, there's rules?

Jacinda Ardern says, you know, there's still some golden rules, but we were kind of talking about these the other day. It felt like she said 10 rules and then she really tried to pad them out to get to 10. She only needed five. Five big bangers. Very hard to remember. And I don't know if we made it more confusing, but we tried to put Jacinda's golden rules into song form

so you won't forget. Have a listen. So here are the golden rules of level one for keeping the virus at one. If you're sick, stay home. You can use Zoom meetings on your Google Chrome. Two. If it's flu or cold, you'll have to call the doctor's phone Three

Please wash your hands for 20 seconds, try singing happy birthday Four That's right, there's more Disinfect all surfaces Five Please isolate You know you gotta stay inside your home, no moving Six

Be kind to all, just send a scrape in the barrel there Seven Please keep a track where you went to order that delicious Big Mac. Eight. Shops do your bit, now that's a stretch we must admit. Nine. Stay vigilant, we want to stop these rules but there's just one more. Ten.

Let's all be kind, honestly we could have stopped the list of rule five. So here are the golden rules of level one for keeping the virus at bay. We got ten rules, we got them. We got ten rules, we got them. We got ten rules, we got them. Somehow we made an already confusing list of rules more confusing. And if you don't remember those, well, then I don't blame you. So there are your ten rules. Enjoy Level 1, New Zealanders. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show.

It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Now, I've spoken before on the show about my dog, Bo. Oh, Bo's the most important cast member of the show. If you don't know what Bo is, he's a giant, uncoordinated polar bear looking... He does look like a polar bear. A canine. He's a white, fluffy, semi-dog, which is like a fluffier version of a husky. You say he's a polar bear.

We love him at home. He's very good-natured, but he's a bit of a shambles. Yeah, I mean, his body's too big for his maturity levels. He's got no control on his limbs. It's like when I say a polar bear when you watch National Geographic and they've got like a polar bear who's sliding down the side of a snow-capped mountain because they've lost their balance. That's Bo. That's how I like to imagine Bo. We love him as I say, but he's done some things over the years. He peed on a rug, someone else's rug, at a movie night.

We went to a movie outdoors and he peed on someone's rug. He ate a whole platter when we had friends over. We went to welcome them in the door. He'd eaten the whole platter. He stole a bra from a washing line when we went to my friend's house. It was from their neighbours. And yesterday I was mentioning... He mounted to your toddler?

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah, there's another one to his list. And he got into a stranger's car over the weekend who came around to pick up something. He just got in the car. Like, where are we going, guys? He's living his own life.

He's in his own world. You need to teach him how to not smile. He's always smiling. It does look like he's... Has he ever been sad? It looks like he's having a great day. Because all of those things you've just listed would make anyone else sad how to not smile. He's always smiling. It does look like he's having a great day. Has he ever been sad? It looks like he's having a great day. Because all of those things you've just listed would make anyone else sad, but not him.

He's not deterred by any of them. If anything, they make him stronger and more determined. Now, I know there's South Island who listen to this show. You know, they're not going to like this. But he's a big dog, as you mentioned, and you know, we're not always home. So two days a week, he goes to doggy daycare. Oh, girls. You can hear them turning off.

I'm sorry, Christchurch. Invercargill apologies. And every six months or so for doggy daycare, he gets a report card. So he's been given his latest report card. Which I'm going to hazard a guess that these are generally favourable because you're depositing money into the school's account.

Exactly. I mean, he loves it there, and they do a great job of looking after him. But I basically, I know he's a pain in the bum. I know this. I love him, but he's a pain in the bum. But they, and they know this, but they don't ever say this on the card.

They always find favourable ways of talking about the dog. Yeah, so here's his report card for Bo. Firstly, they give him like A's and B's for things like ball and tug, chase and wrestle. He's got A's for Bo. Firstly, they give him A's and B's for things like ball and tug, chase and wrestle. He's got A's for those. I feel like they're just generic filler. Is ball and tug a class?

Is ball and tug what you get me to do? Is that the same thing? It's not a class, but I do. Outgoing, all those sorts of things. But anyway, it says here, Bo's best achievement is trying his hardest to keep quiet when entering daycare. So he's trying his hardest.

But he's a loud, obnoxious mess. Yeah. So that's his best achievement. Bo is best known for, there's so many things we could say. That's what they say. But do they not say that? Well, not too many. We could bitch and moan about this dog all day long.

The main thing would be his handsome grin he gives the family. Yeah, so that's what you said. It would be nice if they taught him not to smile, just so he's got a range of emotions. And overall comments, Bo is your classic class clown. He announces arrival when entering a new classroom. Loud. Always shakes his tail feather.

Obnoxious. He knows how to get away with being cheeky. Disruptive. He's working hard on keeping his excitement contained. We can see his hard work He's unhinged And we can't wait For another amazing year

With Bo We'd like to keep your money Here's our 00 check account I mean they're great They do a great job Looking after dogs And he loves it there And they do a great job

Of feigning report card success They also take photos As well That you can get Class photos of the dogs But I'm like Oh that's one step too far For us Oh my god But some people love it You have never sounded Port card success. They also take photos as well. You can get class photos of the dogs, but I'm like, oh, that's one step too far for us. Oh, my gosh.

But some people love it. You have never sounded more like an Auckland. Anyway, 0800. They put a medal on the dogs. Oh, girl. I'm like, what did he get a medal for? I know this dog. This dog's not getting a medal for anything. He's not even getting a certificate of merit.

You know, when they just try. He's so happy in his photo, too. He's like, yeah. He's the one player that they don't hand the player of the day trophy to throughout the season.

So obviously, you know, it costs a little bit. It's like, you know, sending a child to daycare. And I know

the South Islander aren't going to like it, but I'm spending money on my dog to send him to doggy daycare. How much have you spent on your pet?

Okay. Make me feel better. 0800 the hits, 4487. Have you spent an exorbitant amount to get a favourable report card? What have you spent on your petbitant amount to get a favourable report card

what have you spent on your pet whether it was a vet bill whether it was souping it up surgery we'll get to that next 0800 the hits

is our phone number William welcome to New Zealand's breakfast you think you've spent a lot of money on your cat good morning

yeah I think a bit of a combination of our cat's been through a hell of a lot of drama and it's resulted in us spending a hell of a combination of our cats been through a hell of a lot of drama and it's resulted in us spending a hell of a lot of money. What was the dollar figure? Dollar figure, $10,000 in one year. Ooh!

Ka-ching! $10,000. What was that on? So that definitely wasn't on pampering. That was on a whole bunch of expensive dramas he sadly got himself into, including being hit by a car, being beaten up,

getting feline AIDS. Feline AIDS? I was talking, because we've got a cat as well. We were talking to the vet about that the other day and I felt like it was one of those things

like insurance making you get the extra thing. He's like, do you want an injection for feline AIDS? I'm like, oh, here we go. But yeah, so I did get it. It's obviously a good idea.

Well, no one's feeling like AIDS. I'm not feeling AIDS. Was there a stage where you're like, oh, you know, there's another option. No, because this is for the cold-hearted person who doesn't have an animal. There's an option. It crosses your mind.

Yeah, of course it does. As you're paying $10,000 you're like, I can always get another one. I'm sure your parents, no anyway, I'm not going to go there. Alright, let's head to Lake Rotoma. Welcome Cheryl to New Zealand's Breakfast. How much did you spend on your pet?

About $18,000. Oh, $18,000. Wow. This is a house deposit. I know. What is it? Well, no, it's Wow. This is a house deposit. I know. What is it? Well, no, it's not. Not in New Zealand. What sort of animal?

She's a bearded collie. Yeah, and so we had her in Rarotonga where we lived for 18 years. But we only had her for a few years there. She had been a mistreated dog. And we pretty much saved her, and we just couldn't leave her there. So we brought her back, which cost a lot of money to bring back. But we were heading to Europe to live, so then we had to fly her to Wales, where our family is.

She's got more air points than me. Yeah, and so then we went to Wales and we didn't like it so we decided to come back to New Zealand. We had to pay to bring her back but it's not just the flight, it's all the tests. There's so many blood tests and

it just goes on and on and on. The most travelled, more travelled than Spot the old telecom dog. And that dog clocked up some miles. Yeah. Cheryl, that is impressive. I don't know if we can beat that. Can we beat that, John?

Well, we'll try one more. Let's head to Taupo Tash. You're on the air with New Zealand's Breakfast. Bloody good to have you here, matey. How much did you spend on your pet? Oh, I've got to admit to it, $25,000. Wow. See, some of these dogs have had more surgery than the entire Kardashian family have had to their grand. Wow. See, some of these dogs have had more surgery

than the entire Kardashian family have had to their face. What was this for, Tash? Well, it's very similar to your previous caller. So mine was, we moved over from the UK and we brought our cats

and dogs with us. Just get new ones. Well, no, that's... Yeah, no, but you know what it is? The thing is, you know, I always,

they're for rescue animals and I always say an animal's for life. Yeah. is, you know, I always, they're for rescue animals, and I always say an animal's for life, which, you know, I firmly believe. Until you lose it. Until you lose it and get a new one. No, but I left my 14-year-old stepdaughter back in England. Oh, so you left your daughter there? Before the animals, you're like,

oh, we're going to have to leave you behind. Oh, we can always have another daughter. Can't find another dog, though. Oh, that's amazing, Tash. You have a wonderful day, and thanks so much for listening up the costs. We're going to have to leave you behind. We can always have another daughter. Can't find another dog though. Oh, that's amazing, Tash. You have a wonderful day and thanks so much for listening to the show. Awesome. Cheers, guys.

This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jorowen Manomahet. New Zealand has hit level one. It's a good feeling and we're sending cutouts of the two of us to Bluff tomorrow. We're going to see if they can make their way from Bluff to Invercargill

and then gradually make their way up the country. Everyone that gets a photo with it or helps out the cardboard cutout and uses the hashtag Jono and Ben 5K cutout can win $5,000 cash. Last time we travelled the length of the country for charity because we're very charitable guys, aren't we? Do a lot for charity. Wait, this was a cutout. You don't mean to brag about your charity.

It was a charity. But if you don't brag about it, no one knows that you're a charitable person. No, it's for other people to go, oh, that's nice that you did that. Yeah, but no one else is doing that for us, so I have to do it. I have to assume that role.

It sounds bad when you do it. Well, we do a lot for charity. The thing was, it was meant to be cycling up the country for Red Nose Day for Cure Kids. Curing the kids. We cured all the kids. We were like, this is for, you know, we're going to do it for TV as well.

So why don't we get the army to help us? We had an army tank. We did some other comical ways of getting up the country. But Brendan Pong here from TBNZ, he cycled the whole way. He did. Yeah, we didn't. We lied. We lied and said we were cycling up the country.

We got people to help us get up the country. And then we said we're charitable guys afterwards. We're terrible human beings. But we're up north. And Ben, you had to depart the tour. You had some sort of torrid affairs that you had to deal with. Had to get the lawyers in on. I failed my urine test for the cycling.

He was suspended from the tour. But me and Lance Armstrong were sitting back going this is total injustice guys We should be out there cycling We were up north in Kaitaia and we stayed in this hotel and it was like the freaking Shining Have you seen the movie The Shining?

Yes I thought it was going to be my last night on earth I feel like you've over dramatised thisatised this because I wasn't there. No. No. And there was no Wi-Fi. There was no cell phone coverage. Okay, we're in the middle of nowhere and we turn up and this guy sort of slowly pops up from behind the counter

and he's like, hello, welcome. And you're like, oh dear God, where are we? And there was quite a few people in the tour party, you know, we're all charitable people. There was sort of 20 people in the tour party. You know, we're all charitable people. There was sort of 20 people to check in. And so I checked in. No computers, all handwritten.

Oh yeah, old school, yeah. And I was like, oh mate, is there a place I can just sort of wait and, you know, to have a drink, maybe? You asked for a bar. Don't be able to wait. Mate, where's the beers? That was your first question.

And so I just threw there, there's a bar there. was your first question. And he's like, oh, just through there. There's a bar there. And so I walked through to the bar. Then all of a sudden, the same guy pops up from behind the bar, assuming a slightly different character, as the bartender. He was everywhere. He was at Fawlty Towers or something, isn't it? He was the cleaner.

He was the chef. He was on the front desk. He was the bellboy. There was no one else running this hotel and it was enormous apart from him. The hallways were enormous. In the morning, I was in the shower and I was like, where's the towel? And he just popped up out of nowhere. Started drying my back.

Many people thought they saw a ghost that night but it was you coming down the shower, Jono. A ghostly white figure. It's so white. And then the craziest thing was we woke up in the morning, and somehow, I'm gathering it was him, a lot of furniture had been slid into the hallway, and we were to clamber over couches and tables and stuff to get out. I love it.

Next on the show, though, is the couple cutouts make their way to Bluff tomorrow. We'll keep you posted on that, how you can win $5,000. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. New Zealand in alert level one. As of last night, Jacinda Ardern announced it yesterday, and we're making big headlines all over the world. One of only nine countries with no active cases.

Woo! Go New Zealand! Ben's going to go back to feeding me like a mother sparrow, we decided to our favourite form of eating. 75 days of restrictions and this is the first day

with no restrictions, no travel bans or anything like that so it's a good feeling. New Zealand's waking up to being part of something pretty special. Go back to licking door handles,

do whatever you need to do. I don't think we're quite ready for that. And we figured, or we guessed, we hazarded a guess that level none would be when the borders open. Yes, because there's still obviously travel restrictions

going in and out of New Zealand, which makes sense right now. I don't know if any of that's right. We just assumed that earlier on this morning. Now, Jacinda Ardern, our Prime Minister yesterday, was asked how she felt. What did she do when she found out there was no active cases of corona in New Zealand? I did a little dance.

I showed Niamh, she was caught a little by surprise, but she joined in, having absolutely no idea why I was dancing around the lounge, but enjoying it nonetheless. I reckon the Macarena. I feel like you've mummed her up with it. She used to be a DJ, didn't she? At the Rhythm and Bites? Yeah, well I said twerking

but then I was like, that's probably a bit offensive to our Prime Minister. So I thought the Macarena was a safe, family-friendly dance option. Or maybe the bird dance. Oh no, no bats or birds. Stay away from that. So that's what Jacinda Ardern did, the Prime Minister. Dr Ashley Bloomfield, what did he do when

he found out there was no active cases? I'm not quite as good a dancer as the Prime Minister. You have no evidence to base that on. Well, my? I'm not quite as good a dancer as the Prime Minister. You have no evidence to base that on. Well, my children, I'm sure, would opine on that. But I did, yeah, I've been described by one commentator this week as intense, but I did allow myself a broad smile. A broad smile.

A broad smile. What a treat to give yourself. You know what I'm going to... But we didn't allow... I'm going to party at Ashley Bumfield's this weekend, eh? We didn't get him for his charismatic charm and witty zingers, did we? We got him to pull us through this pandemic. Yeah, what a job he did.

What a job they've done. I don't want to see Ashley Bloomfield smile. The universe doesn't need Ashley Bloomfield to smile. Kittens die when he smiles. That's what happens. Well, I don't know if that's quite the case, but we don't know. We haven't seen it enough, and you're right. I'm glad he allowed himself a broad smile.

What happened to that one niggly person that was hanging on? Survived. Survived all good, and it's coronavirus free. I thought Ashley might have just gone over and just, you know. No, no. You can't. You can't say that. They were dragging the chain.

They were dragging the chain. Maybe that's what happened. No, it wasn't. I read about that. It was to do with a cluster in Christchurch and they're all good now. Yeah, right. They had it for ages.

Yeah, well, that's the thing. And then it mysteriously ended. You draw the conclusions. Oh, God. Please don't say that. Now, of course, rugby welcomes back fans this weekend. You can go to the rugby, go to Super Rugby, Eden Park and also Dunedin Stadium this weekend,

which is awesome. Yeah, awesome. We're back to normal, New Zealand. Let's party. Play an appropriate song, Producer Juliet. Level one. Everybody celebrate. To the song from 1976.

Cool and the gang. I could have played something a bit more current. Should I play? No, you had your chance. Again, it's, you know, it's, you know. It has the word one in it. Yeah, what is this,

a weeding? We had a good moment and then we lost it. Anyway. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben

on Facebook. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz Producer Juliet waiting to unload a big steaming pile of gossip on you. Come on in with Spy, Juju. Benny is going to be performing on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon this afternoon

New Zealand time. That's awesome, mate. Which is really cool news. She's bloody just exponentially grown, hasn't she? That's the first time that word's ever been used on this show and it was good. It was a good use of it. It was really good.

It was the biggest word ever used on this program. Yeah, so Benny, Kiwi musician, won a whole lot of music awards last year. Now her songs are massive on TikTok

and we were talking to her a few weeks ago and she was hanging out with Elton John. Yeah, I'm sure this felon thing's going to be probably one of the greatest moments

in her life but up until then it was meeting Elton John. Yeah, I can sure this Fallon thing's going to be probably one of the greatest moments in her life but up until then it was meeting Elton John. Yeah, I can't, I don't even know, man. That was hella weird for me but like, it was the coolest thing

and he's like the sweetest human. Well, he picked one of your songs and he's like, that should be a single and now that's blowing up big on TikTok.

He did. That's insane. So does Elton now want royalties for that decision? He might have enough good on her I'm very proud of her think of her like

a little sister a little sister that I'm not related to and she wants no part or anything to do with me her and Mitch James Mitch James is my little brother she's my little sister

in my mind they don't play in this game it's just me and you just cling on yeah it's good like they probably get kind of weirded out by anything.

And you're my... You're my... What am I? What am I? My wayward cousin. I can't. Who the family's like, oh. It's like my actual family.

Like, oh. Yeah, no, but we like you. We love you. Oh, good. You turn up. You just got some stuff. I haven't. I'm not as good as Mitch or Betty.

No. It's like, well, look at my brother and sister. They're singing and they're dancing. What are you doing, mate? You're just doing a shoddy show on the hits. Yeah, mate, that's what I'm doing. But then I'm on here too. Yeah, I know, which is weird.

It's a very weird imagination. Well, that's Betty. I think the moral of that story, the weird tangent inside. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty awesome. Yeah, so congratulations. She's doing great things. She'll be performing Super Lonely,

and that'll be out probably this afternoon. We'll keep you posted with that one. And for more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Well done, Juliet. I think of you like a mother. Oh, thank you. Yeah, you're like my mother. Mother who, I don't know how the logistics of that work,

because there's an age. Anyway, anyway, enough. We've probably spoken about this enough. The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Great day for New Zealand. We're in level one. For the first time in 75 days, no restrictions.

But that doesn't stop us from doing what we do normally on the show. I mean, nothing has stopped us from doing it. We just talk nonsense for three hours a day. And we find a different town or place in New Zealand one a day. We're trying to get through the A to Z of New Zealand. The A to Z of New Zealand. Today, where are we heading to, Jono? Awanui, Awanui. And would you like some intel on Awanui?

I would. Oh, good. I'm glad you said yes because I've spent many tireless hours researching. Minutes. Yeah. Tireless minutes. Awanui is a historical river port town in the far north of New Zealand, approximately seven kilometres from Kaitaia.

Awanui has a population of 339, and 330 of those people will be voting yes in the upcoming weed referendum. That's a stereotype. We'll find out if it is a stereotype when we call someone though. Heading through to the Waipapakauri Hotel, the nearest accommodation to Awanui. Hello, Waipapak Papa Kerry Hotel. Hi there. Are you voting yes in the upcoming weed referendum? I'm not sure.

We're putting you on the spot there. We don't really have time for that right now. We're waiting for a different call. Oh, sorry. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio stations. Sorry to bug you. We're ringing every town and place in New Zealand on the radio, and now we've come to your town.

That's really awesome. Sorry, but I'm waiting for an urgent other call right now. Do you have a phone system that allows another call to come through at the same time? Obviously not. No. So you've got to hang up from us. I haven't waited for a phone call for a very long time. Now we're talking.

We need to let you go. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for a very long time. Well, now we're talking. We need to let you go. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's all right. It's all right. All right, bye. Okay, so now if you've joined us, this is some pre-recorded radio content.

Yes. And this is 40 minutes later. So we're going to go back to Awanui to see if the phone lines are now clear. Hello? If the phone lines are now clear. Hello. I'm sorry. You called the same place again. We did.

We just want to know if it's safe to call you now. Is it okay to call you? No, I'm sorry. The person still hasn't called. Oh, he's still calling. Hold on. Hold on. I am smelling a classic smoke screen here.

We're going to call you every day for the rest of the year. It's going to be like Christmas Eve. You won't read about it. They're still even phoned. You're tying up the phone line. Next year you can call back and I'll tell you the same thing. Well played, well played. We haven't had this excuse before and I love it.

All right, well, we're going to get off the phone because I don't know how important it is, but obviously it sounds important. One of the greatest excuses I've ever heard. I love it. I'm waiting for a call and we're all waiting for a call. All right, well, hold up your phone line. Oh, well, thank you.

How sweet are you? Have a nice day. Lovely to talk to you on the radio. Yeah, thank you. All right, bye. So we may know, we will never learn about Awanui, but we will know their phone lines. They like to keep them free.

They do. The A to Z of New Zealand continues tomorrow. We call it a different town and place until we've rung every place in New Zealand. Remember to double pump the vogels. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Last night at home, we had a power cut for about 50 minutes. I was like, maybe this is what happens on level one.

You get your freedom back, but the power's gone. It's just moments like that you just realise how powerful power is, don't you? It was great lesson for the kids because they were at the other end of the house and then the power just went off and you just said, Mum, Dad, you're like, it's going to be fine, it's going to be fine, we'll try and find you. It was like the worst game of Marco Polo ever because I didn't have my phone on and just wanted to get down the other end of the house.

Moments like that you can prank. You're like, there's a murderer in the house, kids. Hide under your beds. It's a great lesson also too for the kids on what electricity does. Because they're like, can we watch TV? Nah. Can we, the fridge?

Nah. You know, all the things that electricity does. I couldn't have lived in the 1930s. I would have been a nightmare. Imagine that. So bored. When you get bored, you're like,

oh, when's it going to be 2020? I thought of a good game that we could play. Maybe you have to get dressed in the dark and see what you end up with clothing. But I'm like,

oh, you probably do that every day, John. I'm looking at you. Hey, hold on. This is about your power cut. Somehow this has ended up with my fashion decisions. But last night, the kids had eaten

and Amanda and I hadn't eaten it and then the oven was off. So we were like, oh, we can't cook dinner. And luckily friends from down the road who didn't have a power cut came up and looked after the kids. Why don't you go out? You know, you're working a wee bit at the moment.

Why don't you go out for dinner? I was like, nice and prompt you. You're working a wee bit at the moment? Yeah. What are you doing? You come in here and you sit in an air-conditioned room. Your wife's a teacher. She's working.

She's actually working. What are you doing? How are you? This is work now. What I'm saying right now is class is work. Oh, yeah, you're doing it good. So my wife and I went and prompted you a little date night up the road to a local place.

You never turn up for my date nights with you. No, I don't. Is it because I get dressed in the dark? I embarrass you in public? Is this what it is? to a local place, an Indian place. You never turn up for my date nights with you. No, I don't. Is it because I get dressed in the dark? I embarrass you in public? Is this what it is? Exactly. Yeah, you'll never hold my hands in public?

But we went out for dinner, my wife and I, and at the place we have, the curry place up the road, Indian place, and they had cricket on on the screen behind my wife. And so every time I would look at my wife, I'd be distracted by, and it wasn't even current cricket. But you love cricket. I know.

No matter what decade it's from. But it was from, it was like 2018, 19. It was Australia, India. It was like a really close 2020 game. So you knew the result of the game? Well, no, I didn't. I'd forgot the result,

but I just got sucked back into it. India didn't score many runs. And then Australia, it was getting close and I was like trying to talk and have this date night, but I was just, I could see my eyes just get, and Amanda's like, stop watching the cricket. I'm like, I'm not watching the cricket.

I'm like, I'm watching the cricket. All the way through. And she's got down to the last ball in the cricket game. And so Amanda's talking at you, but you're like slowly trying to copy her. My eyes wandering up towards the 2020 game. And it was an old game. I don't know why I was so transfixed by it. My eyes wandering up towards the 2020 game. It was an old game. I don't know why I was so transfixed by it.

And we were just saying during the song there that you've come in wearing your black dress shirt. I have. Now, it leads the team to believe that you weren't welcome home last night. Did you come and sleep in the boardroom here? Did you? Yeah, I did so. So did I.

But what a game, a 2020 game. You came in here to work and use the TV to watch the rest of the game. What a great result. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. A game we like to play is reception, reception.

We don't have a reception that we can use here where you can go, hey, someone take down a message for me. And we'll never get that. So we like to use other people's receptions as our own. Yeah. And so I phone up and leave a message. Ben, you go into our soundproof booth, can't hear a thing,

has to sit alone with his dark, dark thoughts. Yeah. And then you come back and phone them back and see if they'll pass on the message. Today we're going to head through to a haulage company in the South Island. Lyndall speaking. Hi, Lyndall. How are you? Hi, good, thank you. Just Jonathan calling from Video Easy. I just had a message that I was going to leave for

Ben. There's no Ben here. Oh, he just gave me this number and he said, it's fine, you can just leave a message with him and they'll pass it on to him. I can... It doesn't sound... Yeah, what's the message? The message, he's got a few movies that are outstanding.

He hasn't returned. Yeah, I can take that message. Yeah, that's fine. Okay. So he's just got some late fees on Grinding Nemo. How is this? $22 worth of outstanding late fees there Okay

And also he's two weeks late on ET the extra testicle I don't know who it is Okay I'll let this person know And there's one more Okay About two months ago It was pre-lockdown. Yeah. He rented out Shaving Ryan's Privates.

Okay. Yeah. So if he calls, can you just pass on that there's some late fees, Owen? Okay, no problem. Thanks, Lyndall. You have a wonderful day. Cheers. Bye.

Bye. And Ben, welcome back in. Welcome back in. What I love about this is I sit there in the soundproof booth. I can't hear anything. But all I just see is the big smile on your face as I come back in. And to see you laughing away, I'm like, oh, here we go. So you got a message to collect from Lyndall, is the receptionist.

Lyndall? Lyndall, yep. And she happily took the message. Okay. So she's a wonderful receptionist. The reception we've received from this reception, outstanding. Now time for you to collect the message.

See if we can close this deal. What's this? This is Ben. This is Ben. Jono's just left a message apparently with Lyndall for me. I don't know what it is. I honestly don't know what it is. So now I'm ringing up.

It's something to do with Jono and Ben. I'm really confused. I've already had a really good giggle about it. So apparently there's been a message left there from my friend Jono and now I'm just ringing to collect that message and I don't know what the message is. There's just some outstanding videos that need to be returned. Outstanding videos.

I didn't know Video Easy was still a thing so that was alarming enough. So I need to return these So even though the Video Easy is no longer around I still need to return them Okay I was going to put you on speakerphone but there's a customer up in the office Okay

So the videos just need to go back I don't know the titles, but I'm scared to ask. I'm bringing these up Freaky Friday and more wholesome videos. So, yeah, okay. So there is, what was it? Grinding Nemo. Shaving Brian's private.

And then an ET one. Okay, which one? That one's a bit out the gate. ET the extra testicle. She can't say that. You're a professional receptionist. I'm so sorry you've been dragged into this on radio with us. Listen, I told him...

I set this up. I told him that, you know, you can use the internet nowadays, but he's still sticking with Video Easy. I know, that's him I told him I told him that you know, you can use the internet nowadays but he's still sick of with video easy I know, that's why I was like, oh Lyndall, it's Jono

and Ben here we play a game called the reception reception where we test to see if receptionists will take messages for us Thank you so much you've been a superstar

You little bugger Can you hold the line we'll find something for you you're awesome Okay You have a great day You too, bye Oh, how good was she? Next, you'll find something for you. You're awesome. Okay. You have a great day. You too.

Bye. How good was she? Next, you'll find out. How good was she? How good was I? Oh, mate. Give me some credit. She tolerated your stupidity. You're always giving her the credit.

Oh, mate. Thanks for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Today, you want to throw out a scenario that happened to our boss, Todd, accidentally on the news last night. Come on in here, boss Todd. We love you, Toddy. Morning, guys. How are you? We're well. We got sent

some video evidence of what took place at 6.08pm last night on TVNZ1 News. I just can't believe it. There I am out there doing my bit for the New Zealand economy with the NZME corporate card, doing well. Meeting up with Mike Peru, you know, boss-employee chat.

I walk out of the pub and there's a camera crew there. And if you've seen it, by the time I get to the pub door, literally live, I'm getting texts. Because you know where most of NZME staff are? Already at home, slippers, smoking their pipes, watching the television news, texting me. I'm out here trying to... You're doing the real work, aren't you?

What do you call it? Stimulating the economy. Exactly. Stimulating the economy. Hey, yeah, it might be a Monday night. Are you at a bar on a Monday night? Who knows? It's six o'clock on a Monday night. Who knows?

What's the difference? Monday, Friday. It's just a day. So, Toddy, we'll put this video up on his breakfast. No, you don't have to do that. He's gone in the background. You noticed the camera too. What was going through your mind?

Mate, I actually thought it was a pre-record. And then I've had this horrific, all of a sudden came over me. I've gone, oh, my God, this is live. You tried to find an exit, I found, but you were blocked. I think at one point I just gave this bizarre salute. It was a weird sort of like... It was like you'd seen an old ex-partner that you didn't really want to talk to. You covered your face.

It was a great moment. A great moment in television. A great moment for New Zealand. It was like a used car salesman scurrying away from customers. I'm a used car salesman. Don't you worry, man. Let's be honest. Our boss, Todd, was on the news last night.

We're going to open up the phone lines. Oh, Andrew the Hat, so you can text us, 4487. Why were you on the news? We want to find someone who's also been on the news. Maybe you're in the background. Maybe you were the news story. George is with us on New Zealand's Breakfast. Welcome to the show, Georgie.

Hi. Never met before, but I thought I'd add a Y at the end of your name. That's nice. Now, George, you reckon you've made news. What happened? Well, I lost my favourite jumper and then I got into stuff. Oh, it's just been sent through a link from our producers here. This became national news.

You lost your jersey. How did you lose it? When did you lose it? Why is this news? I lost it after a New Year's Eve party. And then it's news because it's such a good jumper I suppose Well here's the headline, it says Auckland Man's two year search two year search for missing favourite jumper

it's a great jumper too, it's red and it's got the Apple symbol on it the Apple logo Yeah, it was super comfortable This is your Madeleine McCann investigation This is an investigation that, yeah, that does not... So how did it become a Stuff News story? Well, I just posted on Facebook, see if anyone had seen it.

Made a post, and then someone from Stuff contacted me, and then someone from MoreFam contacted me as well, and I was on that. Mate, can you mention more opposition companies if you try? I'm mentioning bloody stuff. I'm mentioning more FM. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, what, are you chucking a bloody edge or something as well?

So this was a while ago. Have you found the jumper? Well, it was a couple of months ago, sorry, to be honest. But have you found the jumper yet? I have not. Oh, George, I've seen it. It's a wonderful looking jumper. And I know what it's like when you get clothes that you? I have not. I've seen it. It's a wonderful looking jumper and I know what it's like when you get clothes

that you like and you want to wear all the time. I mean, I've been wearing the same clothes since 1990. So I feel you, George. So if you'd like to put a PSA out there for people if they've seen your jersey, where was it last located? Last sold in Teterangi, West

Auckland, I think think but it could be anywhere by now. A very distinctive red jumper with an apple sort of rainbow logo with the apple logo. It looks like a

great jumper. I hope you find your jumper and I'm glad that made national news. Well yeah, no we can't say I haven't looked

everywhere. What I love is it was a news story during the peak of COVID as well. This made news in New Zealand when there's a worldwide pandemic going on. Thank you, George.

Really appreciate that. Should we go to Abby too, Producer Humphrey? Yeah? Should we go to Abby? He's got his thumbs up. Abby, you get a thumbs up from Producer Humphrey. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast, mate. What did you make news?

Hi. I was swimming at Long Bay Beach with 300 hamhead sharks, along with loads of other people, but yeah. Oh, my God. You didn't realise there were sharks nearby? No. Tons of us have been looking up going, why is a chopper flying around?

And nobody announced anything or anything, so we just carried on. You think that's quite pivotal information, isn't it? That they could even get like a megaphone from the, probably want to get out of the water, guys. Oh, my God. So everyone was okay? Yeah. Hammerheads are quite common, not in that number,

but Long Bay Beach is quite special to them. Wow. And you had no idea until afterwards? I got home and my phone was ringing, and my mum was like, are you okay? Oh, my God. Were you live on the news swimming as well?

No, that day. Sorry, that question really stumped you. Sorry. It was a curly one. I'm sorry. That's what I'm known for, those hard-hitting, those hard-hitting where they really

get underneath the skin, don't they? Me and John Campbell, we're husking here. Yeah, the hard-hitting questions. There you go. Well, I'm glad you're? Me and John Campbell, we're posking here. Yeah, the hard-headed questions. There you go. Well, I'm glad you're all good, and thank you for sharing that story with us.

Great. Look after yourself, Abby. Thank you so much for listening to the show, mate. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Great to have you with us on a Tuesday morning of the day New Zealand hit Level 1,

which is awesome, a big moment for New Zealand. We're playing one related song. Level 1, 1, 1. Now, the referendum is coming up later in the year, and we want to start something on the show called The Referendum, where we throw in a scenario and we get your thoughts on 0800THEHITS or 4487ONTHETEXT, something you might have an opinion on. And this is something that's been

riling people up for years that I've known in my life because when I have a shower I don't like to dry myself in the shower. I like to get out and stand on the bath mat. In my mind that's what the bath mat is there for, is to get out of the shower, stand on it and then dry yourself off. You're worse than a war criminal.

What? The towel soaksaks you take your soaking skinny little bony malnourished body right and i don't know how long it takes you to dry you must just hear bones rattling when you're rubbing a towel up and down that skinny little thing skinny little frame and then it's the towel ends up soaking wet i bet and i bet i'm gonna follow on i would go as far to say you're not even someone who would pick the towel up the ground off the ground you just let it sit there and fester. I've got better at that.

Yeah, but you do. You just leave it on the ground. I used to wind up a flatmate for many years, flatting together because I would make the bath mat wet. And I'm like, hey, that's what it's for. When I am done in the shower, I am done. Drip dry in the shower. I'm out of there.

No, mate. It's a good cold year. I grab the towel, out I go, and away I go. Sometimes I don't even like to use a towel. I just wander around. Wander around the neighbourhood. Just get walking out. I'm just drying, out I go, and away I go. Sometimes I don't even like to use a towel. I just wander around. Wander around the neighbourhood. Just get walked out. I'm just drying, guys.

Yeah. So you're a fan of drying in the shower? Correct. Well, that's where the water is. It all drips off on the tiles, into the drain. Out. We're done. I'm done with the shower.

I'm out. But you're unnecessarily soaking a towel. Why do we have a bath mat? Otherwise, don't have a bath mat. The bath mat's there so you don't slip and smash your head into the glass. Don't have a bath mat anyway. Become a public service announcement. If you've got an opinion on this,

0800 the hits, 4487 on the text. Should you dry yourself in the shower or out of the shower? Producer Juliette. I'm in the shower. Especially in winter, you hang the towel over the shower and then you turn the shower off,

dry yourself when you're still in the steaming warmth and then you're all dry and then you're not cold when you leave the shower. That's why you won Best New Broadcaster. Your showering techniques. Stuff like that. Sensible life decisions like that. It was a weird part of the competition.

How do you shower yourself? Especially in 2020 though. Is this still really appropriate to this part? Yeah, no, it is. Trust me, to award Best New Broadcaster, we need to know their showering techniques. It's a given. It's all part of radio. So Ben, you're outside. Juliet, you're inside. Yeah, no, it is. Trust me, to award Best New Broadcaster, we need to know their showering techniques. It's a given. It's all part of radio.

So Ben, you're outside. Juliet, you're inside. Yeah, you're doing it. No, I'm good. Yeah, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. How long is the rotation

of your bath mat then? The soaking wet piece of material. It dries. It dries. There's normally a 24-hour period before you're using it again. So, you know, you can put it up.

What happens to the next, okay, you've had a shower. I'm staying over at your house. Great, yeah. Sometimes I do. Yeah. Yeah, and then you? Okay, you've had a shower. I'm staying over at your house. Great. Sometimes I do. Yeah. Yeah, and then you'll like help yourself to a shower. I have to, my feet have to deal with the soggy mess.

I'm sorry you've just come out of a shower to a slight soggy feet. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, your majesty. You know what you get out of that, arsehole? A soggy towel. You're lucky to get that. You're lucky. It's hardly like

standing in a pool. It's just a little bit like, oh, yeah. Oh, you're inhumane. Calls and texts are coming through. We'll keep, yeah, we'll go to one now.

Shall we take a quick vote right now? Let's head to Anthony. You're on New Zealand's breakfast, Anthony. Inside or outside the shower? Outside, but also without the bath mat.

You mad dog. Oh, whoa. Just what? No, because I'm the last one in my household to have a shower, so by the time I get there, that mat is so wet and cold, it's not funny to just go without it. This is a victim of your behaviour, Ben. See, poor Anthony.

No bath mat. Nothing soft to place his feet on. That's a step too far, literally. You're probably falling over on the bathroom floor. And I'm sort of grown up hard, so yeah. Okay, all right. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Scrolling through your feed. Yeah, this is proudly the sloppiest news coverage on radio. Yeah, exactly. Bring you up to speed with what's been happening overnight. We are very excited. New Zealand alert level one. One of only nine countries with no active cases. That is fantastic. Well done.

On a serious note. Yeah, since February the 2nd was our first day of travel ban. And so 75 days of restrictions. Now the first day without any restrictions, which is awesome. So it does mean that, Ben, you can go back to feeding me like a bird. Feed me like, you feed me

like, you be mother pterodactyl feed me like you be mother pterodactyl and I'll be baby pterodactyl. And you just put, you chew up the food. I don't know if I'm quite ready for that just yet. Bird feed me. I'm sure we'll get back to that stage. Bird feed me like you love me. And it started at midnight too.

Who saw that one coming? I thought Jacinda would give us like 48 hours, but she's like, nah, we're doing it tonight, which is pretty cool. And they asked in the press conference yesterday, how Jacinda Ardern, you know, how she celebrated when there was zero cases in New Zealand. This is how she celebrated.

I did a little dance. I showed Niamh. She was caught a little by surprise, but she joined in, having absolutely no idea why I was dancing around the lounge, but enjoying it nonetheless. I can imagine it was a celebratory twerk. Can you imagine?

Niamh's like, what? What's mum doing? Yeah. So that was our private... She dropped it low? She did a wee dance, maybe a twerk. We're not sure. I know. What would you opt for?

What would your celebratory dance be? Oh, I'm not a dancer. You would be. Get your hands out. Yeah, I know. But it wouldn't be good, eh? It'd be like a dad dancing to the Grease Megamix at a wedding. Well, then Ashley Bloomfield, of course,

the Director General of Medical Stuff. Yeah, that's his official title. He's done a bloody great job navigating the country through this. So how did he celebrate? I'm not quite as good a dancer as the Prime Minister. You have no evidence to base that on. Well, my children, I'm sure, would opine on that. But I did, yeah, I've been described by one commentator this week as intense,

but I did allow myself a broad smile. Did allow? What a treat. A broad smile. Oh, just treat yourself, Ashley. Move your lips up towards the top of your head. Christmas and no COVID cases. The two days I allowed myself broad smiles.

He's done a, you know, a fantastic job. Oh, yes, amazing. But he does seem like the type of guy who would eat the same dinner every night. And it'd be like... Just to save time. Yeah, schnitzel and Brussels sprouts and broccoli, but all with the recommended portions

from the New Zealand Health Society. He does. It's five plus a day. We're ticking that off. He would even have one of those plates you give toddlers where it's just got all the lines divided where you put the food in.

Well, well done, Ash. Well done, New Zealand. It's a pretty cool milestone for New Zealand right now. Open up the borders. No, stop. Open up the borders. Stop. We're very lucky to be here in New Zealand.

But opening up the gates this weekend for Super Rugby, how's the timing of that? Yeah, and producer Humphrey said he saw on the news the head of Eden Park going, it's going to be a sellout. I don't know how he knows that when they've sold no tickets as of yet. He's like, Eden Park going, it's going to be a sellout. I don't know how he knows that when they've sold no tickets as of yet. He's like, wishful thinking. It's going to be a sellout. Everyone's going to turn up.

I don't think the Blues have ever had a sellout. The end of last season, they were lucky to have two people in the stands. Yeah, they would have killed for social distancing last year, wouldn't they? Yeah, no, but it's great. That's fantastic. And the timing couldn't be better to launch Super Rugby Aotearoa. Yeah, so I think the first game was in Dunedin on Saturday night and then won on Sunday in Auckland.

Well, this is going to be a sellout, so get your tickets. Get them quick. It's fantastic. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben's very responsible safe social distancing tour. We said as soon as it hits level one, we're going to be sending a cardboard cutout version

of ourselves to Bluff, and it's on its way there now. Which, you know, the irony's not lost on me because, I mean, technically we could do it physically. Technically we could go and do it ourselves, but the problem being that, you know, we've spent an exorbitant amount of money on cardboard cutouts, corflute cutouts,

and it would be a crime upon the printing industry not to use these. So it's going to kick off tomorrow in Bluff, and we're leaving it in your hands, Aotearoa. Basically, we're relying on you, the fine listener to the hits, this bastion of broadcasting in New Zealand, to transport the cutouts from Bluff to the hits studio, 1,700 k's away.

If they do arrive here safely, we'll give away $5,000. That's right. So everyone that gets a photo with it along its way, and we'll let you know. We're going to do it in stages. We'll let you know. So tomorrow, I think we're going to try

and get it from Bluff to Invercargill. And so we'll let you know where the cutout's going to be. And if you get a photo with it, hashtag Jono and Ben a 5K cutout. Put that on Instagram, and you're eligible for the $5,000. Yeah, bundle the family up in the car, go to Bluff, drop them from Bluff to Invercargill.

Maybe you're a drug trafficker. Well, you could do a wonderful leg for us with the cardboard cutouts. I guess it's possible, yeah. Who's to say that they can't participate? Oh, no, yeah. We don't need to know what's going on, do we? No, we need to know. Just as long as the cardboard cutout's on its way out, we...

We ask no questions. We ask any more questions. But accommodation is... We thought last night, dear God, where are these things going to stay on the way? Well, because now we're going to do it in stages. People are going to have to drop them off somewhere, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. So we need to book some accommodation.

And so we're going to slowly throughout the morning phone motels from Bluff to Auckland to see if we can find a bed for these cardboard cutouts. Morning, Avalon Manor Motels. This is Rob. Hello, Rob. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. How are you? Good, good. We've got some cardboard cutouts. We're sending them around the country and they need night's accommodation. How much do you charge for our cutouts to stay the night?

For a cutout to stay the night? Yeah, we say cardboard cutouts, core flute to be more specific. Coreboard. Core flute, yeah. It's sort of a hard, plastic-y material. Quite weather resistant. Durable.

But inoffensive, and I guarantee will not cause a mess. Yeah, okay, so just run me by, what's going to happen with them. What are they going to do? They're just going to come. We just need a room for them. Just a room to stay for the night.

Maybe some breakfast in the morning. Well, they don't eat. They don't eat, do they, John? They don't eat, no. A couple of cutouts don't eat. They're not going to use the bathroom. They're just going to need somewhere to stay. They probably could stay in reception, to be honest.

Whatever you like. I'm struggling to figure out what's the end result of this. You and me both. That's a very good question. You have a wonderful day. I do, bud. So, here we go. A little bit of confusion,

but I think we've got some accommodation there in Southland. So $5,000 could be all yours. Look out for our cardboard cutouts making their way up the country. I'm just going to say cardboard. Can we just agree to say cardboard now? Every time we say cardboard, you're like, that's cornflour.

It's like just the cutout. The cutouts are making their way up the country. We're spending more time explaining whether they're cornflour or cardboard than how you can get the money. Do I sound like that when I say it? Oh, cornflour. Oh, it's cornflour. It's kind of like a harder sort of cardboard, sort of more pasticky.

It's like your dad invented core flute or something. You're like, I will not sit here and stand by and have someone call it cardboard when it is core flute. That's right. The environment has been damaged for this core flute, and it gets a shout out every time. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them.

They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I'm going to headline this, because I know you're not going to like it, Ben, because you don't like gas-based content. Oh, no, I don't. This is one of his pet peeves, is gas content. Yeah.

But I think you might enjoy this. Okay. Okay, and I'll try and tell it. Even though I don't enjoy gas-based content. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to try and tell it in a tasteful way. You know, sophisticated.

People are like, oh, it's always funny. It's like, no, it's not always funny. But that's fine. That's each to their own. I think you'd be the only person on the face there. So yesterday I was in a situation where I needed to help, you know, an elder member of the community out of a couch. And people are like, get out of the couch.

It's my couch. Get out of this flat that I own. She the couch, it's my couch. Get out of this flat that I own. She's like, it's my house. I've lived here for 50 years. Get out. I don't have the couch now. So I lifted her up. But I was having a rather windy day.

Okay. So I was like, well, maybe the situation, it's the elderly lady. You know, we get to that age. You know, sometimes the functions, I don't understand. That's what happens. I've had grandparents. I know how it works. I'm a senior citizen.

I was like, so it's you. I'm starting to like the story even less now. I was like, maybe it's a cute old lady just, you know, like tooting one away. So I lifted her up and I went, oh, bit of an ear tulip came sneaking out. From you? From me. Yeah, yeah.

And I don't know if she could hear or not, but I was hoping due to old age she couldn't. But then, because you have to put quite a lot of effort in, and, you know, your core, you're working your core. Is this for helping the lady or, like, earth tulip as you put it i'm trying to i'm trying to suck you know so it's not releasing yeah yeah yeah but the more i moved her it was coming out with each movement so it got to a stage where i was walking her along and the trouser trumpets were just coming out with every step. Right.

Okay. And that's the end of the story. That's the end of the story? Okay. Okay. Normally I'd go, oh, hey, we've got a bit longer. We can probably pad that one out. But no, no, I don't think we've said enough.

She didn't obviously notice. There was no end to it. So, you know, all radio stories have an end. That was just it. No, she never said anything. I didn't reference it. I thought, oh, yeah thought I could fill some time in on the radio talking about it. And that's the

honest truth. That is the end of the story. There we go. How did you enjoy it? Not being a fan of gas-based cooking. It was a 4 out of 10 probably for me. 4? I'm just interested in how many nicknames you can give the person. I had to work hard because I know he doesn't like it when you

use your base level ones. I appreciate it. I'm trying to protect him here. That's how you got the four points out of Ted. Morning, it's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's the first day of level one, pretty good feeling in New Zealand and we want to give away a prize right now on 0800 The Hits with a game called Synchronise Answering. Synchronise Answers. Yeah, it's a pretty simple one.

Producer Juliet fires out a topic. Ben and me have three seconds to give both of our answers. If we answer the same thing at the same time, we steal the prize off you. Now, I had a crack at this. I was waiting in the car with my kids the other day, and we were waiting for my wife to come back, and I was like, let's play

a game. Let's play synchronise answering with my two girls, Sienna and Indy. They're eight and ten. And they were amazing at synchronising their answers. Here's a wee edit, but they did really well. Name me a colour. Three, two, one. Yellow. Seriously?

Okay. Name me a singer. Three, two, one. Beyonce. Beyonce. What? Name your favourite out of Jono or Ben. Three, two, one. Beyonce. What? Name your favourite out of Jono or Ben. Three, two, one.

Jono. Someone said Jono. What did the other one say? Both. All right. I was so proud of their little out gag too. Yeah, they gave you a lovely little out there. It was a three beat gag as well.

Set up, set up, bang. Said Jono too. It was great. So wonderful. So we have some hell pizza right now. We can give that away, but we could win it back if we synchronise our answer. Tanya, welcome. Hello, how are you?

Oh, we're doing well, Tanya. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. What's on the agenda today for your tea dog? Oh, not a lot today. Maybe some Netflix. You feeling pretty good about things getting to level one? Oh, it's amazing. That's great.

Really good, yeah. So you thought you'd celebrate by staying inside in your house and watching some Netflix? You feeling pretty good about things getting to level one? Oh, it's amazing. That's great. So you thought you'd celebrate by staying inside in your house and watching some Netflix. That's it. I like it, I like it. Doing what you've been doing for the last 10 weeks. Love your work. Okay, Tanya, here is the first category. Remember, we can steal this pizza off you if we synchronise an answer.

Name for me a vegetable. Cabbage. Ooh, okay. Name for me a vegetable. Cabbage. Ooh. Okay. It's almost like I have to try and get telepathically into your head to try and figure out what you're thinking. And you're always thinking about what the saturated fat count is in hummus. It's right. The calorie counts.

I keep going hummus, hummus, hummus. No, I can't say it to this one. All right, next one. Who loves his hummus? Name for me a piece of camping equipment. Tent. Yes! Yes!

I was telling you. Oh, it's no good. But you know what? It's level one. We're going to give you the Hell Pizza anyway, all right? Awesome, thank you. You're going to enjoy that while you're watching some Netflix today. Thanks to Hell Pizza serving the best damn pizza

in this lifetime and next. Now some may ask, what was the point of that then? She lost? She lost? We ended up giving her the prize? Oh, it's a good day for New Zealand. Ashley Bloomfield had a broad smile. He allowed himself a broad smile. He had a smile for the first time in 24 years. Well Tanya, will you allow yourself a broad smile this morning?

I will. To celebrate. Look after yourself, matey. yourself a broad smile this morning? I will. To celebrate. Look after yourself, matey. Have a great day. You too. Thanks. Bye-bye. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up

with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Bye. No WhatsApp. Bye. Ducko.nz She's got a weepy right eye.

I actually do. She's got a weepy right eye, producer Juliet. She came to work yesterday saying, oh, my eye keeps weeping, keeps leaking. Yeah, it's just the one and I don't know why. It's just constant. I hope you don't have pink eye from camping. I hope I don't either.

Well, it's fine. I can't notice anything. That's good. It just feels weird. Oh, listen, I suffered conjunctivitis and boy, oh boy. You hate eye stuff. Yeah, I do. But, you know, when there's something wrong with your eyes, it doesn't look like there is, but you can feel it. Yeah.

You can feel it. You can't escape that. I know. All right. All right, wepi, what's happening in Spy? So David Beckham, he's in talks to launch his own cooking show. So in lockdown, well, he's an avid baker. I didn't know that.

Is he? Yeah, he loves baking, making crepes, cakes, and everything. So him and his daughter have been baking a lot in lockdown. And so he's been talking with BBC and Netflix. He's also been in comms with Gordon Ramsay for advice. Well, I thought he would just be like a macaroni, cheese and toasted sandwich guy. Yeah, well, I thought he'd have a chef. He probably does, to be honest.

But every now and again, people are like, oh, you take the night off, I'll do something. The thing I like about Beckham is every time I seem to see him on TMZ and all the gossip websites, there's always a paparazzi shot of him talking on his phone while driving, and they're like, Golden Balls is the worst driver ever. He's like a pedestrian stuck in his grill, and he's a shocking driver. There was a photo the other day of him parked up over a footpath, pretty much parked on a fire hydrant, without a lie.

Yeah, it was like in the neighbourhood of like, mate, what are you doing? I saw him out there and there's a photo he's parked on top of a person in a wheelchair

in the disabled car park. Oh no. I was reading an article on him too. He took voice coaching lessons when he was first starting out because he had a working class voice.

He's got quite a softly spoken voice. Yeah, so they taught him how to speak properly in his new world of sophistication. Well, now he's probably never looked back. He's too sophisticated for anything. And you'll like this.

You know what they call their house? Beckingham Palace. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I know. That would play your pun strings in your heart. That's a good one. I love that. I love that.

I love that. And also, Taika Waititi is going to be part of a new TV show called Ass. So it's Taika Waititi working with Jermaine Clement. So it's basically about a depressed and broke puppeteer who fills in. It sounds bizarre, but he's filling in for a famous donkey actor on a wildly popular American TV series because the donkey goes missing. So there's a human. It sounds really weird, it's a comedy

apparently. I don't know how he comes up with these ideas. When he was like oh you know I'll be an imaginary Hitler in a child's imagination how do you pitch that to the people and they're like yeah okay we'll roll with that he's an amazing brain, amazing brain. That's what I wonder with a lot of directors, they must

come up with ideas and how do they pitch them? That would sound so weird in the pitch. Like the movie Parasite that won the Academy Award. Oh, that won the best film, right? Yeah, yeah. It was really good, but when you're watching it

and once you're finished, you're like, how would they have pitched that? Because it just sounds so weird. Well, Corey Gonzalez-McCure, a very funny guy, with his writing partner, they're writing this Taika Waititi directed thing.

Yeah, yeah. So it's basically, it's going to be, it's a TV series, and stay tuned. We'll see what else happens. I like Corey's post. He was like, it's great to give these up-and-coming Wellington filmmakers an opportunity with Jermaine and Taika. That's good.

And for more spy, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the more spa, you can head to thehits.co.nz.