Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - June 10 - Our Very Responsible Safe Social Distancing Tour Has Commenced!

Episode Date: June 9, 2020

Our Very Responsible Safe Social Distancing Tour has commenced!Ben put his back outHas Tiktok turned your kids into zombies?SpyWhat do the cutouts need to see in your town?We want to hear your medicine mishapsScrolling Through Your FeedJono's UberEATS incidentThe A To Z of New ZealandSpySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. New Zealand, Aotearoa, land of the long white COVID-free cloud. We will now move to level one. It's the moment to strap yourself in. And if you're already strapped in, unstrap yourself and restrap yourself in. Because this is the moment you have been waiting for. Uh, no. I think we've got the wrong number. It's the moment our country's you have been waiting for. Uh, no. I think we've got the wrong number.

It's the moment our country's leaders have been preparing for. Me and Tim Shebbard. You forgot our names. The police motorcade has been booked, and so has the accommodation. You may have to hand-bathe us. There may be an extra charge for that. It's been years in the planning.

OK, it's been months in the planning. Look, we cobbled this thing together at lunch last Friday, okay? The printer has printed. The cardboard cutter outer has cut it out. And the Photoshopper has had to resign after they said there was nothing they could do to fix the image. This is history. This is monumental. This is not overstating the importance

of this whatsoever. Welcome to Jono and Ben's very responsible social distancing tour of New Zealand. Jono and Ben's very responsible social distancing tour of New Zealand. Jono and Ben's 5K Cutout Tour. Very exciting. It starts today. Stirling Point in Bluff.

We're just moments away. Remember, if you get your photo with our cardboard cutout, use the hashtag JonoAndBen5KCutout. And if it makes its way back to us in Auckland at some stage over the next week or so, you'll be in the draw to win $5,000 cash and you can help transport the cardboard cutout as well. You'll get a photo as well. Then you're in the draw for $5,000 cash. It's pretty awesome. That's right and

big day for Bluff. This is the biggest thing to have to Bluff since Bluff the Magic Dragon hit number one on Spotify on the charts. They're going to be taking a public holiday I hear in Balliwimbo. They're going to make this an annual public holiday. JB Day. Are they?

Not to be confused with the high-pressured reciprocal water system to wash your inner buttocks. Okay. Oh, B Day. I was like, where's he going with this? All right, let's welcome a lady who studied for five years at broadcasting school only to be standing in miserable, freezing cold weather

with inconveniently sized cardboard cutouts. Ashley from the hit Southland, welcome. Hi. What's the conditions like in Bluff? We spoke to you just before seven. You said it was dark and cold. To be fair with you, I'm still sitting in the car. It's freezing cold.

I've got three puffer jackets on. I've got two pairs of pants, a beanie, and, like, I don't think you'll understand how windy it is. This, you know, just, if you can get out of the car, at least. That's all we're asking. Well, it hasn't been launched officially, because next, Invercargill Mayor Tim Shadbolt's going to join us on the phone. He's going to officially launch the cardboard cutouts then,

at least because you get a photo with me, the cardboard cutout and bluff. Is that okay? I mean, it's all good for you guys because you're just sitting in the studio where it's nice and warm, and I'm standing next to the freezing cold ocean, trying to hold on to those cardboard cutouts so they don't blow into the bloody water. And she couldn't be having a better time this morning, ladies and gentlemen, ahead of the big launch of the cutout tour. Ashley, next, Tim Scherbold will be launching the thing off,

and maybe you can get out then and wait for someone to come and collect the cutout. 0800 the hits if you think you can transport them from Bluff to Invercargill. You'll automatically go in the drawer for that $5,000, and then later on today they'll be doing a citywide tour. I think they're closing off the streets with a motorcade, a citywide tour. Well, actually, in all seriousness, they're going to be at Gala Street Reserve, hopefully from 8.30 to 10.30 today, so you can pop down in Invercargill, get your photo taken with the cardboard cutout,

and you'll be eligible for $5,000 as long as you use that hashtag. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Hashtag this is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben's very responsible safe social distancing tour. It kicks off today, our cardboard cutouts. They're starting right now at Stirling Point in Bluff.

They're going to make their way up the country today. We want to get it from Bluff to Invercargill. If you get a photo with our cardboard cutouts at any stage, they're going to be in Gala Street Reserve in Invercargill from 8.30 to 10.30 a.m. Just hashtag Jono and Ben 5K cutout with your photo. Put it online and you could win $5,000. But standing by in Bluff, the happiest man on the face of the earth. He's happier than the Dalai Lama. Please welcome Invercargill Mayor, Mr. Tim Shadbolt.

Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast again, Tim. Thank you very much. It's good to get a wake-up call like that, you know. You're at a historic tourist attraction, that signpost at the end of Highway 1. Aren't you there? Aren't you meant to be there? Yeah, yeah.

Where are you? I was just telling you a bit about it. Are you there? Yeah, yeah. Where are you? I was just telling you a bit about it. Are you there? Well, you know, I'm close. He's close. You're meant to be a bluff. Where are you?

I'm at Stirling Point, of course, specifically. You don't sound like it. It doesn't sound that windy. I hear it's windy there this morning, cold. Yeah, well, you know, invigorating. Invigorating. I don't think like it. It doesn't sound that windy. I hear it's windy there this morning, cold. Yeah, well, you know, invigorating.

Invigorating. I don't think he's there, but anyway, we'll pretend that Tim Sherbolt's there, Mayor of Iwakago. Can you launch this cardboard cut-up out the country? Because the other day you did a speech for us and I think you forgot our names. Have a listen to this.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the Deep South and today we have a fabulous start to a whole new race and that is John. You started well, you started well. You lost confidence in the victory.

And then you forgot our names. That was the that was the dry run. We call it a virtual launch. You've got to get with it, you guys. That was a rehearsal. Since then, we've employed former US President Barack Obama's speechwriters to write you a new launch speech to launch this cardboard cutout tour, Tim.

Oh, that's good. That gives me a lot of confidence. No, good on you. As I was going to say, the signpost there that I forgot to talk about before is

it gets 85,000 visitors a year. It's our group's biggest tourist attraction. A signpost? I know the one. It's very distinctive. It tells where other places are in the world located to Bluff, right? Yep, too right. All signposts lead to Bluff.

Places you'd rather be, but you're right there at Bluff. To be honest, it probably doesn't deserve 85,000 visitors a year. It was quite an honour to get a photo taken a few years ago in front of that signpost. And that's where

our couple of cutouts are going to start right now. If you want to help out, transport them to Invercargill, you could be in the draw for $5,000. So it's over to you, Mayor Shadbolt,

with this. Jono and Ben, Jono and Ben, Jono and Ben, Jono and Ben. He hasn't got our names wrong. I can't get it now.

Over to you for the launch speech, Mian. Okay, well, it's great to see this huge crowd gathered here at the end of Highway 1, ready to spend these two intrepid astrologists. Astrologists. Astrologists. Astrologists. Astrologists. It's the longest

trip, longest trip that you guys are engaged in. It's a tiara track and it'll take you right up to North Cape, Cape Leanga and Okay. And we launch it now.

And we launch it now. I launch it now. Okay. And I've got a lovely pair of scissors here that you can probably see. Oh, cut the ribbon. Cut the ribbon. Here we go. Three, two, one.

One. Boom. I just left it. There you go. Three, two, one. One. One. I just love this. Three. There you go. There's some words. There's some words. And I don't know if Tim knows what we do for a job, but astrology.

I love it. I love it. We dabble in that. Mayor Tim Scherbel, love your work. Thank you. Thank you. We spoke to you on the Zoomathon a few weeks ago. I noticed you had a couple of missing teeth,

but what you're missing in teeth, you're making up for in a Kiwi can-do attitude, Mayor. Thank you. That's very kind. The carpool cutout, the journey is underway. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Just a text we got here from Liam.

He listens to us every morning. Thank you, Liam. He listens to us every morning. Thank you, Liam. He says he enjoys laughing along and he's just had appendicitis and out of hospital. And so he says the show's helping him through that. They do say laughter's the best medicine. Unless you've broken your leg or something, you probably need some tramadol.

I've been hobbling around a little bit this week. I've kind of put my back out. And now I think about it, it was a silly idea at the time, but it felt like a great idea. One of those ideas. Well, you know, now this show actually,

we mentioned on Monday, can't have any back problems because I got a compliment saying that I had wonderful straight back, good posture. So don't you, we're known for our straight, tidy backs.

That's what this program's known for. Don't you try and besmirch that. That's the literal backbone of the show is our straight, tidy backs. That's what this program's known for. Don't you try and besmirch that. That's the literal backbone of the show is our straight backs. Yeah. But in the weekends, it was actually a weekend before, so that's how long it's sort of been annoying me. I'd had a couple of drinks and had some friends over, and we have a floor in our hallway that's wood.

And we're like, this would be a great game to play on socks to see how far you could slide is this hold on is this the same night that uh you were singing seal kiss from a rose yeah what a wild evening oh mate we party hard yeah the boys loosen the tie pre-sex of karaoke then we had a sock game. It was quite fun. We put a bit of tape on the ground and you could see how far you could slide. It was like the Sock Olympics. So you'd see how far you could slide from that piece of tape

and then you'd see the sliding distance. Yeah, I mean, it's a game that most six to eight-year-olds tend to play. Fill in some time. But then I was like, well, hey, I could maybe change the game, even though we'd only been playing it for five minutes. I'll get a sleeping bag out of the hall cupboard because that'll be, you know, that's shiny and it'll slide, and then I'll come and run down,

almost like I'm eluging, you know, like a luge. So run onto the sleeping bag and then use that to slide along it. This would be great. So while standing? Well, yeah, I'll run and then I'll dive down into it like I'm a winter Olympian or something. Oh, I see. Sorry, yeah, right.

So you're not jumping on the sleeping bag like a surfboard. No, no. I was trying to be sensible but as I jumped, the sleeping bag gripped a lot more. It didn't quite slide and so I kept going

but the sleeping bag didn't and then afterwards, just one of those things at the time you're like, oh, that's a bit sore and the next morning you're like, oh, that's really sore. You know you're getting old when that sort of happens.

Oh, I injured my ankle last week. Just by existing. I'd done nothing. Yeah, what did you do? You're like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Just like hobbling around like a war veteran.

Yeah, like really badly hobbling around. Yeah, really humbling experience. Where like I have literally just lived my life and somehow ended up tearing my ankle. A friend of ours reached for a remote control once and I think he put his neck out. I mean, that's the real, that's like the laziest way to injure yourself ever.

Do you know you should go to the chiropractor? Sometimes my wife, Jean, gets me to do home chiropractic work and nothing more terrifying than... Oh, you do? I pick her up, I wrap my arms around her and she sort of puts herself in a mummy position. No way!

And I try to lift her and shake and shake and crack. Does it work? Sometimes. Then she has to go to the chiropractor to undo all my good work that I've done.

But she loves a website. There's a website called Crack Addicts. No. There is. No. For fans of chiropractic work where you can just listen

to chiropractors. And disappoint drug people that are like, oh, this isn't what I, oh, there was three people smoking pipes. Oh, this is just,

oh. So she's a signed up member of crack addicts. There we go. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now TikTok, it's basically a little video, a social media thing that a lot of people love doing dancing with. Yeah, I mean, it's an oasis, a never-ending oasis of complicated synchronised dance manoeuvres with

unusual-looking faces at the same time. It's not all dance moves, but that seems to be the most popular. My young girls, Sienna and Indy, they love TikTok. They love watching the videos. They love doing the dance moves. And I don't know, it's almost like they're brainwashed now.

Whenever they hear a song, it's like it's in their head. They don't even know they're doing it. They're in a trance. They'll hear a song, just play a little bit of one of them

and they'll just get up and they'll start dancing. Start manoeuvring. It's like wherever they are in the house, whatever they're doing, as soon as they hear that, it'll come on the radio

or be on something else. It's like it kicks off something in their brain whatever they're doing, as soon as they hear that, it'll come on the radio or be on something else. It's like it kicks off something in their brain. You know TikTok's owned by the commies, the communists. Oh, is it? Yeah, China. Oh, really? Yeah, no, I don't know if the Chinese government owned it, but it was a Chinese company, and there was a lot of concern

that the Chinese government were gathering intelligence on, I guess, prepubescent teenagers. Yeah, well, I don't know what information they're going to do. The theory is that this information they're going to do. The theory is that, you know, this generation eventually are going to be the world's leaders and then the Chinese government are going to be like, hey, remember when you were 14 and dancing to Benny Glitter?

Well, we've got some dirt on you. Well, they don't even know they're doing it. Like, the amount of times they'll be out there doing something at the dinner table, everyone will be like, stop, stop, stop, tick-tocking, you're tick-tocking. You know, they out there doing something at the dinner table, and everyone will be like, stop, stop, TikTok, you're TikToking. You know, they're just doing a little, you know, just like they've got some sort of nervous tick.

The nervous tick is for TikTok, I think. Yeah. When we're worried about the zombie apocalypse, I think we should be worried about the TikTok-o-plops. The TikTok-o-lops? TikTok-o-plops. So what we want to do is we experiment with you guys. If you've got kids in your household that love TikTok,

like my daughters, we're going to next, we want to play a couple of TikTok, you know, quick little songs that are popular on TikTok. We want to see if they're going to dance to them. Whatever they're doing, they'll just start dancing to them. Oh, 800 the hits. So what, we'll get a parent on. Yep. The radio will play the TikTok song.

We film them and see if they automatically break into a communist-fuelled 15-second dance routine. Yeah, we might do a couple. You can film them or you can just watch them and then you can give us a call. I'll wait 100 of the hits and see if it works. I mean, the commies got to you. You were doing TikTok for a while, weren't you? You had to pull yourself away from the madness

to eject yourself. You're like, what am I doing? You're a grown man. You keep saying to me, you're a grown man. You're on TikTok. You can't be doing this. I slapped you on the face. I was like, pull yourself together, mate. Anyway, you snap back to reality and you're like, I don't know, that got away on me.

What was I doing there? So anyway. This is what we're going to do is we're going to talk to you on the phone on 0800 THE HITS. You turn your radio up, then go and hide. We'll start playing TikTok hooks and you report and tell us whether the kids are coming out and automatically dancing. Like the zombie apocalypse, as you said before. And joining us on the phone right now,

a very professional broadcaster, probably one of the loveliest people you'll ever meet, and she's got hair on her head, the opposite of me. Please welcome, from Stace, Mike and Anika, Stacey Morrison. What an intro. I was just checking if I do indeed have hair on my head. I also have a couple of girls who are pretty hardcore TikTokers. I think I know them.

We're even at the kind of merchandise level. Oh, merch? Oh, yes. My daughters be at Charlie D'Amelio Merchandise. That's all they want? Yeah. And it's actually, we've been waiting eight weeks so far. That was a lockdown treat.

And Charlie hasn't turned up yet. Charlie is just sitting there counting her money, I think. Do you know my daughter, she's like, I need to meet Charlie DeMello. I'm never going to meet Charlie DeMello. So I spent 45 minutes yesterday stalking a 14-year-old girl on the internet on her website on how to contact Charlie DeMello. I was like, dear God, I hope the authorities don't look at my internet history.

Okay, so Stacey, we're going to thank you very much for calling up. You obviously heard the desperate plea of two breakfast announcers. We're going to play the hook. We'll get you to hide. Turn the radio up and we'll see if they come out and start dancing automatically. Okay, here's the first one. Here I am. Oh, she's good.

Oh, she's good. Even I know that one. The dancing? Yes. She's a savage. She actually savage. That's a t-shirt too. Booty hatchet. I don't know that it's really desirable but yeah. No, she actually smiled in her face. It's a weird thing. They actually do the same faces as Charlie and

the TikTokers. They try and do that cute little side tongue thing with the peace sign at the end too. The little wink. Every time I do it, the kids are like, you look like you've had a stroke. I'm like, I've got to try and be cute. Like the kids on TikTok. Okay, let's do another one.

Let's see if this next one works. If she can't clap without her hands, then I don't want that. I feel like... Oh, there's some good hand things. Oh, yeah, that one at the top. Renegade. Oh, yeah, I'm a no-go this one.

Two from two, they're dancing. They're dancing. We've got kids all over New Zealand dancing right now with this experiment. You can film them too. Put them on social media. They're like our little lab rats. Children, they're great for making clothes in factories and doing radio segments.

There we go. Give us a call or a text, 4487, if it worked for you. One more before we finish this off. Did it work? Did that one work? Yeah. She just actually does that sort of like an involuntary movement. It's kind of like you bang your knee

and then it goes up. Yes. It's an involuntary movement. Brainwashed. Brainwashed. There we go. Thank you, Stacey. Even I know those.

I knew all of those. I know the moves to all of those. And actually, that's the fastest way to make them stop us to join in. Stacey Morrison, back this afternoon with Stace, Mike and Anika. Thank you very much for your call, matey. Thank you for sharing the pain of our lives. Yeah, 4487 on the text. I want to know if that worked in your household.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Spy. The WhatsApp spy.co.nz. Ah, with producer Juliette covering all the celebrity cheating scandals, our foreign affairs correspondent. So a bunch of celebrities, they have their body parts insured

if something goes wrong, their iconic body parts. And it's been released about how much they've paid to insure those body parts. So Mariah Carey's legs, how much do you reckon she paid per leg? $9 million a leg. Her voice would be her main... Yeah, but I think because she wears the short little things and everything like that, short dresses. But she doesn't have legs, She can't walk on stage. She can.

She can still sing. Yes, she can. I don't know why she chose to insure her legs, but $68 million each. That's what they're insured for? Yep. Yep. What about Jay?

What's the excess on that? Yeah, I was just thinking that. That'd be quite a lot. And when can you cash in? I stub my toe. Yeah, I'm going to need that $68 million. Sorry, AMI. True.

Oh, God. And Miley Cyrus' tongue, when she had her big tongue-waving fad, she insured her tongue for $1.9 million. I wouldn't have called it a $1.9 million tongue. It was covered in grey stuff. Did you notice that?

She needed a tongue scrape. Yeah, I mean, it was a million dollar tongue? I'd give a million dollars for that tongue. I read an interesting thing yesterday on social media about tongues, that when you accidentally bite your tongue, it really hurts, but when you bite it just normally, it doesn't. And then when you're doing that, everyone is now biting their tongues. Yeah, that was the social media thing, but you're right.

It just really hurts, but when you do it... Show me your tongue. Oh, you've got a nice tongue. I'll just say it, yeah. Very nice. Tongues are weird, aren't they? Yeah, they are. Quite a weird thing.

My tongue. They're weird. You know, Miley had an abnormally long tongue, I feel. It was quite a long tongue. I see why she insured it. Yeah. And then you've got Julia Roberts, her teeth, 38 million. J-Lo's bottom, 33 million.

Bloody hell. If I was going to insure anything, I would insure my stumpy white legs. My white thighs. That's my trademark. They're illegal in nine countries, these thighs insure my stumpy white legs. My white thighs. That's my trademark. They're illegal in nine countries, these thighs. And your bald head, too. That's your thing. Oh, yeah, true.

What would you insure? Because I'm the one with hair for some reason. That's a distinguishing feature. No one's ever played Guess Who and gone, oh, you're the one with hair? It's true. You know what I would insure of yours, Ben? Your wonderful, kind heart.

That's the most important body part you have, mate. He doesn't mean that. You are so generous to a foal. What would you insure, Juliet? Of who? Myself? Yeah. Gosh, I don't know. Your weepy eye?

Yeah, my weepy eye. Judy's suffering a weepy eye this morning. You could cash in right now if you did, you're right. Can I insure just one weeby eye? I can't read what's on the screen in front of me with this weeby eye. And in other news, Reese Witherspoon, she's being sued. So she's got a clothing company called Draper James, and they wanted to gift teachers across the US a free dress.

Lovely thing. Lovely thing to do. About just under a million people signed up, but they didn't specify that they only had 250 dresses to give away in total. So someone's taking her to court. This is why I don't do charity. Stuff like the fear of getting sued. She's not trying to do a nice thing.

Where's my dress? Where's my food? Oh, God. Yes. Everyone should know that she didn't have a million dresses. Exactly. 250 is a large amount of dresses for anyone human to have. Yeah, exactly.

So not sure what's going to happen there. Hopefully it doesn't cost her too much money. And for more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. New Zealand. Whoops, wrong one. Jono and Ben's very responsible safe social distancing tour.

What I like is when the producer goes, oops, wrong one. We had a funny moment yesterday with producer Juju where something happened with the computers. I don't know what happened, but you were going, well, you were swearing. Swearing, swearing. Repeatedly, but very quickly.

And you just ran out of the room. We're like, what? What have we seen happen before? Grab, grab, grab, grab, grab, grab, grab. Just, yeah. And then Jono and I were sitting here going, is this on radio? What's happening?

Is this going to air? We don't know what's happening. We were in pre-record mode, team. I love a flustered producer. He keeps us happy. Now, our cardboard cutouts, they started off in Bluff this morning at Stirling Point,

the iconic Stirling Point, and they're making their way up the country slowly. We're doing it in stages. So they're on their way to Invercargill right now between 8.30 and 10.30 a.m. That's this morning

at the Gala Street Reserve. You can go down and get your photo taken with the cardboard cutout and if you hashtag Jono and Ben 5k cutout on Instagram you are eligible for five grand $5,000 as long as the cutouts make their way back to us at some stage. And we've got council

approval, we've got council consent in the form of Invercargill Mayor Tim Shadbolt who officially launched the cutout tour. Well it's great to see this huge crowd gathered here at the end of Highway 1, ready to spend these two atrepid... astrologists and...

Astrologists! Astrologists! So, yeah, he must know our deep, deep love of the zodiac star signs. I'm not sure he knows what we do, but I don't know what we do either. Well, what are we doing here? But yeah, it's going to be travelling through the country. And we thought, given the cutouts are going to be seeing the majority of New Zealand when they come to your town, what must they do?

What's the attraction that most people wouldn't know about off the beaten track? Yeah, the one thing that needs to go along and I can't really eat, but you're like, oh, you've got to get a pie from this place or you've got to go off a bungee jump off this place. Whatever it is, what's your attraction? You can give us a call right now and plug your business if you want. I know the big thing in Matamata, free parking. Free parking.

You can go, you park anywhere you want. It's free. Really? Oh, Hobbiton's pretty good too, but the free parking is even better. This is, you know, must they go and visit the famous burnout pads of gore? Or maybe the South Island's oldest Latino male stripper? I don't know. These are just, I'm spitballing here.

Okay. You're from Marston, isn't it? You asked me this yesterday. You're like, what should they do in Marston? And I was like, oh, I mean, I love Marston. I loved growing up there, but I struggled for a little bit. I was like, well, golden shears was the shearing thing. Oh, these are the big scissors.

Yeah, that looks like something else. Have you seen those? It's like, oh, they look a little bit like, yeah, something else. There's two round things and then one. Yeah. Yeah, well, you need to get a photo taken in front of that. It's very misleading what the town is championing themselves as. I looked on TripAdvisor because I was like,

maybe I'm forgetting about something in Marsden. And then the top 10 things to do in Marsden was visit the information centre. So I was like, to get information on what to do. Well, I guess it fills in some time. Yeah, exactly. It's a great information centre. Okay, 0800, that's the telephone number, 4487 on the text. Why don't you call us this morning?

We'd love to hear from you. 0800 843 4487 on the text. Why don't you call us this morning? We'd love to hear from you. 0800 843 4487. What is the tourist attraction that the masses don't know about but the cardboard cutouts should go and see? Yeah, what does the cardboard cutout need to do when it comes to your town? Plug your business if you want. We don't care.

Use our radio station for your advertising. Are we sounding desperate the higher we're talking? Okay. Yeah, okay, call us, please. Okay, 814. From Darfield, North Canterbury, isn't that Ian? Yeah, yeah, North Canterbury. G'day, how's it going?

My mum Annie Pryor, born in Darfield. Grew up on a farm there. Oh, lovely. Same here, same here. Oh, well, wonderful lady. She did a lot of heavy lifting to create me, I'll tell you that, Ian. Hey.

I'm just imagining you as a baby, probably like you now with less tattoos. Pale. You're pale, yeah. So what should the cutout do in Darfield? Oh, I definitely should eat a mince and cheese pie from the Darfield Bakery. I mean, that's a classic Kiwi hotspot. Thank you, Ian.

And I think what you'll start now is a raging pie debate. Oh, yeah. Because everyone thinks they know where the best pie is, but we will say you're the top of the list. The mince and cheese in Darfield. And thank you so much for listening to the show, Ian. Appreciate it, mate. No worries. Have a wonderful day. Let's head to Cambridge. Amber is

on the phone. Welcome, Amber. How you going? Good. Just gave you a nickname. We're not on a nickname basis, but anyway. That's alright. We can live with that. What should our cutouts do? We've got a newly opened petting farm just out of Cambridge.

A what farm? A petting farm. A petting farm. And so you just go along and pet animals and feed them and touch them and hold them and lift them? Certainly do. What are your big bangers? What have you got there? Give us your top three. Donkeys.

Oh, I love a donkey. Dwarf miniature ponies. Oh, little ponies. Okay, yeah. Uh-huh. And we've had newborn lambs. Oh, those are great. Oh, great.

Lambs are adorable, aren't they? Yeah, aren't they? At what age do they lose their cuteness and just become petrified sheep? Yeah. I don't know. We've got one that's 16 days old living in the house. Oh, cute. Sheep always look like they're just on the verge

of something happening to them. Yeah, I can imagine for them. It's quite true. They do. You're right. They don't trust anyone. We stick her in the paddock and she just runs scared from her mum

like she doesn't think she's a sheep. Oh, well, listen, you can go and visit the Kaipaki Farm with Amber in Cambridge. Julia, we're going to head to Hamilton in cardboard cutout form. What should we be doing, matey? Definitely DJing at the Outback this weekend. Oh, get to Hamilton.

Level one, it's going to be huge. We've been to the Outback a couple of times. I bet. And it's taken us four years of therapy to get over. To recover, they put sawdust down on the floor. A guy took out his eye, he had a glass eye, and put it in a drink and then drank it and then had it in his mouth.

He's like, give it a go. I'm like, oh, maybe not. But it was a lot of fun, a lot of fun. It's like a lawless society at the outback. You could DJ, though. Carball cutout DJs. I love it. Love your suggestion, Julia.

Actually, I remember hosting something there and I had to get on stage to MC, and there was a couple having coitus on the steps. Coitus. And I was like, oh. And they're like, hang on, mate, won't it be long? I was like, I've got to host this bloody raffle here. Anyway, wonderful place, the Outback,

and a great crew there, too. And I hope this weekend goes really well for you and you get back on your feet, Julia. Awesome. Great to be back in level one New Zealand. I like the outback. I think we're going to take one more before we go. Where do you want to go? Six? Is that what you're doing with your fingers?

Moose, welcome. Hey guys, how are you? Moose. Why are we putting Moose on the radio? Now I regret it. This could end badly. I feel like Moose could say anything at any moment. Maybe two drottos. Alright Moose,

what do you want to say? Well I reckon the cardboard cutouts should come out of my neck of the woods in coastal Taranaki. Drink some of my moonshine and then shoot some

clay pigeons with my beretta. I love Moose. I love Moose and I'm so glad we had you on there. We will try and get the cutouts to you Moose

in coastal Taranaki. What a beautiful part of the country. It's terrific. You look after yourself buddy and thanks so much for listening. Gracias. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, we want to talk about some accidents that have happened due to medication, some medicine mishaps, and 0800 the hits is our phone number, or 4487 on the text. If you want to text in, if you've got an example, because we just discovered that a friend of ours... So we're not talking about medical malpractice where a surgeon's left a scalpel in your intestines or anything? No, we're just...

Well, if you want to. That's a fun story, though, if that has happened to you. Yeah, if that's happened to you. I'll open it up to that. I'm not going to not take that story if someone's going to ring up. No, no. It's got nothing to do with medicine. It's got nothing to do with accidental things that have happened

during being on medicine or something. I specifically stated. Okay, good. So it's open wide. Like a friend of ours, we just discovered the other day that, this was a few months ago obviously before lockdown, earlier in the year he'd gone to the States with his family, gone to Disneyland and the first day he

arrived, he mixed up by accident his sleeping pills with his medication and so he took his sleeping pill before going to Disneyland and ended up like... So he had to spend the day at Disneyland on the verge of falling asleep. Like that movie Weekend at Bernie's from many years ago with his family

basically propping him up. He apparently woke up, felt like he kind of snapped to it mid-afternoon in the middle of Space Mountain ride going, oh my God, what just happened? So he'd just been asleep? Not asleep, but in a really confused sort of state. It was him and bloody Sleepy from the Seven Dwarfs, the sleepiest people in Disneyland.

You can't have a sleep with Sleeping Beauty's castle. You've got to hang out there. So those are the sort of things we want to know today. I went to Disneyland. I was lucky enough to go. It's amazing. But everyone's on mobility scooters. You notice?

Oh, really? Everyone's fanging around on mobility scooters. Are you on a chalice? Yeah. I was like, I want to around on mobility scooters. You're a chalice? Yeah. I was like, I want to be on a mobility scooter. I felt like a lot of them would just ride them to the front of the line, stand up and walk onto it. It was a hell of a hack.

That's a great hack. Hell of a hack, yeah. So medical mishaps, medicine mishaps. I remember for a prank starting first in radio. You're very vulnerable, Producer Juliet, you'll know this. You work for free for about nine years, don't you? And you'll do anything, you'll do anything. I mean, you babysitted Flinny's kids who used to work here.

At 5am, like two weeks in. And he didn't pay you for six weeks. That's right, EO. You're lucky you got paid. Yeah, true. In any other use of it, it would be called slave labour. But not here, it's just called an internship. But yeah, I was starting out and I was made to take for Oni Afoda,

a little blue pill designed to strengthen a certain part of the body for boomers. Did you know you were going to take it? I thought I was just going to take one. I was like, I can handle that for a bit of banter. Someone has snuck six of them in. No, that's dangerous. It was there till Sunday night.

I was like, should I amputate it? What do I do? It grew its own personality. It was horrific. So that was a medicine mishap. Yeah. And not on purpose too. I didn't volunteer for that.

That's the thing. We don't want to, yeah. My dad got an operation a few years ago and he had to get put under for the operation. And when they were leaving the next day, for some reason, he thought it was still the first day that he went in and he started having an argument with the parking guy

with my stepfather in the car going, this is ridiculous. We've only been here 30 minutes. They're like, no, this is 24 hours later. He goes, oh, this is, you know, I was like, Kevin, just, you're okay. You've been in the hospital. You've been under an anesthetic.

Yeah. Ironically, that is what you pay for some parking in central Auckland. So, 0800 the hits. Medicine mishaps whether you went to the dentist. I know a lot of funny videos of people being gassed at the dentist. Oh yeah, they come out and they... I don't know why people decide to film themselves

when they're still... I think it's usually family members who want to hold something over them. So, 4487 the text, 0800 the hits. What happened when you were on the medicines? Let's head to Te Puke. Justin, welcome to the show. How you going? Good, mate. Lovely to800 the hits. What happened when you were on the medicines? Let's head to Te Puke. Justin, welcome to the show. How are you going? Good, mate. Lovely to have you on.

What happened? So just before lockdown, well, during lockdown, I got a physical job, so about a week, and I had trouble sleeping with cramps in my legs, so I thought I'll just take some magnesium. It's meant to be good, and took three tablets instead of the recommended one that they tell you to start with and ended up with screaming diarrhea for the night.

Oh, screaming diarrhea. It's like lava. Oh God, that does not sound fun. I think lava's a bit thicker. Oh, okay. Thanks, Justin. No one's eating their breakfast right now. Oh, Debra on the phone from one of the most beautiful parts of the

country, Raglan. Welcome, Debra. Oh, good morning. How are one of the most beautiful parts of the country. Raglan, welcome, Deborah. Oh, good morning. How are you? Good to have you on, Deborah. Oh, thanks. Is Deborah here? How are you? Your husband, medicine mishap. Oh, bless you. So we obviously had two children and that was enough and went for a vasectomy.

So the surgeon kindly offered me a cup of tea because I'd had two children child-free pain birth. so he watched all of that so I thought this was going to be great and then he was so high on his gas that he thought it was a good idea to ask me to video it and I was like, nah, I don't think that's a good idea. What's a vasectomy?

Yeah, a vasectomy, yeah. So here is all the smoke coming off where they're steaming and burning the little tubes and so here I am videoing it going, it's not a good idea. And then afterwards, in the car sitting on his frozen peas, he's like, let me watch that video because he was still wasted. And then watched it and he was like, no, you've got to delete that. Delete that.

You do not want that clogging up your photo stream. Put it to your iCloud or something. Oh, exactly. Yeah, but it was gold. It was gold. Deb, love your work. You look after Raglan, eh? Oh, it's such it was cold. Deb, love your work. You look after Raglan, eh? Yep, all day, thanks.

Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben's very responsible safe social distancing tour. We've got cardboard cutout versions of ourselves who are a lot more exciting than the real versions of us and they started at Bluff this morning just after 7 o'clock.

Mayor Tim Shadbolt announced it, he launched it and now they're making their way up the country thanks to you guys and if they get back to our studios here in Auckland at some stage, whenever that is, everyone that's taken a photo with it and put hashtag Jono and Ben 5K cutout

and put it on Instagram is eligible for $5,000. And it was a rousing, have we got the audio there producer Juliet, a rousing speech from Mayor Shadbolt to launch the campaign? Well, it's great to see this huge crowd gathered here at the end of Highway 1,

ready to spend these two atrepid astrologists. Astrologers. Astrologers. Astrologist. He knows our deep love of astrology and that's why we're doing this. It's why we actually do our careers is to promote astrology and that was me and Shadbolt launching the campaign.

We cross now to our intrepid reporter with the inconveniently large sized cutouts, Ashley Gibson from the Hit Southland. Come on in. Hello, how are we? Good. Now, Ashley, we spoke to you first thing this morning a couple of times, pre-7 o'clock, post-7 o'clock,

and there was a constant theme from you complaining about the coldness and the temperature in Bluff. Well, to be fair, the sun didn't rise until 8.26 this morning, so it was pitch black, and I'm not a morning person at the best of times, so it was a hard start. Now, well, there's a photo on our Hits Breakfast Instagram of you, Ashley, with the cardboard cutout and the first people who kindly

took the sign for us from Bluff, but you're sitting there, and you said you were cold. You've got a beanie on, great, but you've got a t-shirt on. You've got no jacket. So, the problem was I had the lights on in the car to get the right lighting for the picture, but it was reflecting off my puffer jacket.

Oh, well, that makes sense. It's for the greater good, I swear. Because we've got a lot of puffer jackets in the office here, and we probably don't need them where we're located. And if any part of the country needs a puffer jacket... It's you, Ashley. I know. Maybe you should send some extras down.

Oh, I do like it when I'm going across the road to get my flat white latte in the morning or something like that. You know, just to get a little bit of a chill in Auckland sometimes, you know? It's fine. Don't worry about it. So, Ash, you're going to be there.

You're following the motorcade right now, the presidential motorcade, with Kayleen, who's transporting the cutouts. Wonderful, Kayleen, from Bluff to Invercargill. And then we're relying on the listeners to get them back to the Hit Studios. But you're taking the cutouts on a tour of Southland today. The streets have been shut down, we understand.

Yeah, yeah, all the streets are shut. There's no traffic at all. Nobody's going to work. Public holiday announcement. Great. I'm currently sitting up at Gala Street Reserve, so I have just arrived in Invercargill. So, yeah, feel free to come down whenever now, I guess.

Get a photo with the cardboard cutouts. Hashtag Jono and Ben 5K cutout. Chuck that on your social media, and you could be eligible for $5,000 just for taking a photo with cardboard cutouts. That's pretty sweet. Ashley, thank you so much for your help today. We really appreciate you getting up early for us

and helping us with our stupid journey. Hey, no problem at all. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Love this part of the show. This is where we read the first two lines of a news story then fumble our way through pretending we are informed on the topic

but bringing you up to speed with events overnight. That's right. And National Party MP Paul Goldsmith yesterday, he copped a bit of flack for a sexist sounding comment. He told Jacinda Ardern basically she should stick to her knitting in regards to her opinions on the Warehouse Group

and even Nicky K from his own party said, hey mate, you can't say that. Well, it is sexist. Yeah, sexist. How do they not know that he knows that she's a knitting enthusiast? Yeah. Did he double down and be like, and go Yeah, sexist. How do they not know that he knows that she's a knitting enthusiast? Yeah. How do they? Did he double down and be like,

and go back to the kitchen and go back to getting paid 15% less than your male counterparts? No, he didn't quite go there. He just basically said that he meant it in regards to like, you know how people say stay in your lane is his thing. You know, he said it before to Shane Jones in Parliament. So he said he said it to males and females. So that's his response to six-year knitting.

I'm not a fan of knitting. Oh, no. But knitted objects, like my nanny used to knit me scarves and things, and you feel a deep obligation to wear them. Because it takes a lot of effort, doesn't it? And it's like, yeah, it's not something that you traditionally go out and buy. It's not the first

thing you'd purchase. If you went to North Beach or something. But you're right. They put a lot of effort into this scarf. You're buy. It's not the first thing you'd purchase. You went to North Beach or something. But you're right. They put a lot of effort into this scarf. You're like, it's not that good. But I've got some great knitting puns, and I want to weave them into our conversation, if that's all right.

I don't think the words great knitting puns have ever been said before. I'd like to weave them into the conversation. There's one. I just think we should have a yarn about it, Jono. You know, Paul Goldsmith, bit of a nitwit. You can bad to back with me

if you want. Do I? I just don't want to feel like I'm just coming up with lame pun after lame pun. So you want me to cancel it out

and have free-flowing conversations? Yes, it is surprising, Jono. Yes, good question. I mean, Nikki Kaye said that. I mean, National Party, tight-knit group.. Yes, it is surprising, Jono. Yes, good question. I mean, Nikki Kaye said that. I mean, National Party, tight-knit group. You know, many people said, so what?

That's a pun, better rip down. But, you know, I guess that was just nitpicking. Did you want me to jump in? I can't do any more sewing jokes, actually. I've run out of material. Ah, there you go. And that's some puns. There's some free-flowing pun banter there.

Sorry. Also in football, in France, this is a crazy story. Yeah, so the game was going on, and one of the players bit his opponent's French stick. Oh. Yes, on the... With his teeth. Yeah.

And it's quite a biteable limb. It's quite a biteable appendage, isn't it? You know, when I see one, I'm like, oh, I could bite that. This is mid-game. Maybe it's the latest French delicacy, you know. They have frogs' legs and they have snails. Maybe this is it. Would it put you off?

Would it put you off? I think it would. A good tactic. I mean, his second half's going to be a bit shaky. I'm not going to go next to the biter. Please don't let him defend me. You know, they haven't outlawid those COVID rules, have they? You know what I mean?

Like sneezing to your elbow. You know, they haven't said anything about biting you. Can you contract it? Yes, maybe he's found a way. We'll find out after 8 o'clock. What? As a stunt. Let's do a radio stunt.

We'll flip a coin. Who has to bite who? Maybe not. And that is what's happened this morning in the world. We fumbled our way through that one. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up

with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, what drives me out of the bed every morning is my quest to take down the big corporates. Something like,

what was that movie Julia Roberts was in a few years ago? Oh, Erin Brockovich. Yeah, like a bald Erin Brockovich. Is that a pretty woman? There's another one. That was a great movie.

The one with Hugh Grant? No. Notting Hill? Oh, you're not sure? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, Notting Hill. I feel like Julia Roberts in Notting Hill. It's just a boy standing in front of a couple of people

telling him some stuff on radio. But our friends, they ordered Uber Eats on the weekend and it was McDonald's, and there was a lot of people at their house. So it was quite a hefty McDonald's order of sort of like $120. There was a large group of people. And they waited. It was Uber Eats delivery, and they waited for about two hours,

and nothing turned up. And they phoned the McDonald's, and they went answering the phone. I shouldn't say McDonald's, actually. Maybe a popular burger. You've said it all now. You can't backtrack now mid-story. You can't change the ending of the story if you're worried about corporations. You've said basically Uber Eats and McDonald's now.

You've set the platform. Let's just reset. A popular burger proprietor with a CEO who has large feet and a penchant for stripy clothing. I don't know where this is going, but this is all on you. And he likes putting a lot of white foundation on his face. Okay, this is the place.

Anyway, so they phone them and they didn't answer. They're like, oh, well, we'll just make dinner. Whatever. Forget about it. Next night, they were like, well, let's go back to this popular hamburger supplier. What happened to their burger? Well, this is the thing. I'll finish the story.

You just moved on to the next night. I'm back on the first night. So they go back. They're like, oh, we won't get delivery. We'll go down and collect it. Yeah. So they went down there, and they said to the people behind the counter, hey, we came, we ordered yesterday, but nothing turned up. And they're like, oh, that was you.

What happened was all of this food, the $120 McDonald's, was sitting on the counter for the Uber Eats driver to come and collect, but someone ran in, grabbed it, and ran off. But then the McDonald's, sorry, the popular burger people were like, oh, well, they didn't recook the order. But, you know, someone ran and took it

from where they leave it for the Uber Eats people to collect. Because they just sit there in bags just waiting, you know, on the counter. I wonder if people do that. Yes. History would suggest we should pin it on the Hamburglar

if you're going to pin this crime on anyone. But I thought that was quite interesting because I've been in the same position where you're like, what's stopping me from just walking up there and grabbing that? Well, especially when you go to a cafe or something and they're like, coffee for Jono? You're like, yeah, I'll be Jono. There you go.

And then the other thing is you phone Uber, and I've done this before, and you're like, or you message them and you go, oh, hey, this hasn't turned up. And they're like, oh, we'll just give you a refund. No questions asked. There's no questions asked. That's on your morals. I don't have any.

You know this. So you could literally order a lot of food, just say it didn't turn up, and there's some dude in Texas who's like, oh, I don't care. I'll just give you the money. There's no follow-up. Oh, yeah, but I'm sure the guy who was meant to deliver it, or the lady, or whoever it is, was going to get in, you know. Who knows?

Some hard-working New Zealander out there going to go, hey, mate, did you deliver that? Well, we're going to take Mr. Pryor's words. He said it didn't happen, and we've reimbursed him. These are just loopholes. What you do with them is over to you. Oh, God, okay. I'm glad we talked about that before 7 o'clock.

Yeah, this is why I did it. Get it out of the way for the 6 o'clock club. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling every town and city in New Zealand one a day until we've rung every place. We're about five or six weeks into this, and we've just got onto the Bs.

We've hit the Bs. It's taken some wits and determination to get out of the A's. And do you know this? Out of interest, I scrolled through the list, alphabetical list, of all the towns and cities in New Zealand.

Where do you think we're going to be really in the trenches? Have a guess. Oh, I would say round about the middle, M or N. The Ws. Oh, really? There's a lot of Ws.

We go from 486 to 570. Oh, my goodness. Nearly 100 towns with W at the front of it. Oh, my God. That's when we're going to be questioning our life decisions. But that's not until we reach W. Before then, we're going to get through B. Let's not jump ahead to W already.

No, we're only at B, and we're going to call someone right now. What town are we calling today? We're heading to Bellclutha, which lies towards the end of the Clutha River. It's about halfway between Dunedin and Invercargill with a population of 4,060. It was founded by Brian Belclutha, who sailed

here from Europe in the 1800s and arrived with a bevy of muskets, blankets and venereal diseases. Heading through to the Belclutha Bakery. Gold's Cottage Bakery. Belclutha. See what wonderful things we can do in Belclutha.

Good morning, Gold's Bakery. Shona speaking. Shona, it's John O'Bent calling from the hits. Hi. That's the reaction we're always after. Uncertainty. Hesitation. Apprehension.

Yes. We're phoning every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing it alphabetically. We have just hit B. Just hit B. Bell Clutha's the first of the Bs. Okay. And the excitement levels at Fever Pitch at the Gold's Cottage Bakery.

Um, I guess so. Yeah, yeah, great. That's what we want. Now, what can you do in Belclutha? Tell us all the wonderful tourist attractions. If we're going to go on TripAdvisor, what would be the top three things we should do in Belclutha?

Um, I don't know. You're probably asking the wrong person. Do you live in Belclutha? Um, yes, I do live in Belclutha. I couldn't think of a better person to ask. What things do you like doing there? The bakery obviously is great. The mutton pies are pretty popular.

Oh, I don't eat much mutton. No, lots of people don't like them either. The more you like them, the more you don't. Someone's just coming to the shop right now. Yes, that's our buzzer. Do you want to hand us over to them to see if they want to promote Belclutha? Hang on, wait here. Okay.

Lovely bridge. Have you seen the bridge in Belclutha? Hang on. Wait here. Okay. Lovely bridge. Have you seen the bridge in Bell Clutha? I'm just looking it up. I do like a bridge. Yeah. Useful for getting over bodies of water. Hi, cat speaking. Hello.

Bell, Jesus, all go there. It's like a motorway in your bakery. It is, isn't it? Jono and Ben from The Hits, we're just wanting to know what we can do in Bell Clutha. What do we do? Look, it's a great place. An hour from Dunedin, 20 minutes to a beach,

two and a half hours up to Queenstown. All the stuff you're naming is not in Belclutha. Oh, I know. It's out of Belclutha. Oh, okay. Specifically in Belclutha if we were to come there.

Yeah, I mean, it's just a position of Belclutha. What do we do in Belclutha? Oh, the stuff you do. You're close to a lot of other places, but yeah,

when you're there, what else can you do? Lovely river. Look, a very, very... Oh, yes, very nice river. Yeah. Good place to go fishing. The Clutha,

the Clutha River? Yeah, the Clutha River. Um, what do you do, Shona? Help me here. We're the gateway to the Ketlands. Yeah, again,

you've named another place, but let's go. Yeah, but we're the gateway. It sounds like you're a good place to go if you want to go to other places. Oh, what's Dolly... It's actually a central location. Dolly World?

What's Dolly World? Oh, no, we'll discount that. Okay, all right. Well, hold on. What are you hiding about Dolly World? Oh, no, I don't think it no longer exists. Oh, okay. No, but what we do know is that if you want to go somewhere else, go to Belclutha.

Exactly. If you want to get... Yeah, go to Belclutha. Exactly. It's the gateway to everywhere. It's the gateway to everywhere. You look after yourself. Belclutha. Just three hours from Fiji. 12 hours from Los Angeles. You know these are the things.

This is the way. It's the gateway. 24 hours from London. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Well, you have a lovely day, Belclutha, and enjoy your mutton pies. We will do that.

Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Have a good day, everybody. Bye. That was Bell Clutha, ladies and gentlemen, the A to Z of New Zealand. Great work. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Jono and Ben's very responsible safe social distancing tour. Kicks off today at Stirling Point in Bluff. We're sending our cardboard cutout of ourselves. It's going to start in Bluff and make its way up the country with thanks to you guys. And if you get a photo with along the way, hashtag Jono and Ben 5K cutout on Instagram and you're eligible if the cardboard cutout makes it back to us in the studio at some stage for five grand. Oh, frothing like a fizzed up can of Coke right now in T-minus 20 minutes until we launch this. This is, I now know what the astronauts felt like in the SpaceX spaceship a couple of weeks ago

about to launch. It's exactly like that. This is exciting. We head to Bluff where all of the big news organisations are rolling into town. BBC, TMZ, Pornhub, all the big guns are rolling into Bluff and we'll cross to our correspondent for some pre-cutout coverage.

Ashley Gibson, come on in. Welcome from the hit Southland. Hello, how are we? What are the conditions like, Ash, in Bluff? It's bloody dark and windy and cold and very lonely so far. Just like Ben's underpants. Dark, windy, cold and lonely. Very lonely. That's weird. That's a weird start, Ashley. So you're taking the cardboard cutout as we speak to Bluff.

Yes, I'm currently sitting at the sign, about to get out with it, but it's a bit windy and I'm a little bit worried it might blow into the ocean. So that's the number one issue right now. Ashley, I'll just pull you aside. You're setting quite a bleak scene here. I've just said all the big, I've said the New York Times are coming, all those Al Jazeera. All the big networks.

And you're saying you're sitting in a car, you're scared to go outside, it's too cold and windy, and you'd rather be at home in bed. I mean, I never said that last bit. No, we all know you're thinking it. You didn't have to say it. Let's be honest. We understand. That's fine.

Okay, so at 7 o'clock today, me and Tim Shabell is going to help us launch this thing, and then we're going to see if we can get someone to take this burden of a cutout off your hands. That would be amazing if they could do that. And see if they can get it. Today we want to get it from Bluff to Invercargill. And then this afternoon, I think it's going to be in Invercargill, we can get your photo taken at the Gala Street Reserve, I think, from later this morning, I think.

Yes, yes. So I'll be down there from 8.30 in Invercargill getting some pictures of the garland trees over the cutout. That is true. Good on you. This day doesn't end here for you, Ashley. The day doesn't end here.

I'm just so excited. Don't worry. We know your real feelings. Thank you so much, Ashley. If you want to go and transport the cutout from Bluff to Invercargill, you can meet Ash in Bluff right now, and she will be there with huge excitement and a big smile on her face.

Love your work, Ash. We'll catch up in about 20 minutes. Awesome, thanks. The cardboard cutouts, they make their way from 7 o'clock today from Bluff. As you say, five grand up for grabs if you get a photo with it. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy, go WhatsApp spy.co.nz.

Turn on the gas, prime the barbie because she's getting out the beef, the celebrity beef, producer Juju with Spy. I seriously, seriously look forward to every time how you intro me, just with weird and wonderful ways. They're definitely going to run out. It's great. I know, you've really set up something here now.

It's totally all on you too. I'm like, oh, I'll just sit back and watch this. We've signed a five year contract and in the fifth year I'll be like, Julia, you know what to do. Alright, so Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter are reuniting again as Bill and Ted. So it's called Bill and Ted Face the Music and this

time they've got daughters in the movie and it's still going to be following their time travel adventures. So the original movie was like 1989 or something? Yeah, it was. And we've got a little bit of, they sound exactly the same. If you guys are really us,

what number are we thinking of? Oh, they still talk like that? 69, dudes! So that's from the original and then this is from the new trailer. Bill and Ted. What have you got to say for yourselves? Be excellent. Oh, God.

They should have dropped the voices. I remember it being a great movie when I was younger watching that. It was a lot of fun. They were time-travelling to help themselves out on a science project or something, and they got historical figures, historical dudes from history to come help them and stuff. But yeah, okay, they're doing it again. Except the excellent adventure now has to take place between

nine and three because they've got to put the kids up for school. And then the excellent adventure is just set in Bunnings Warehouse because they have to go and collect some supplies. I got lost before because you mentioned Keanu Reeves and I started looking up about him. He's a really lovely guy. He's one of Hollywood's nicest people, apparently. Donated most of his money from The Matrix to charity.

He says, I've got enough money to live on now. I'll just give a lot. And there was a story, a lovely guy in Australia, just quickly, when he was filming The Matrix, he worked at a movie theatre, this guy. He said he was 16 years old and Keanu Reeves came in on one day,

a Wednesday morning, no one else was there. And the guy was like, oh my God, it's Keanu Reeves. And he's like, do you want my staff discount? Because he knew if he signed the thing, it's Count of Reeves. And he's like, do you want my staff discount? Because he knew if he signed the thing, he'd have to sign it. And he's like, well, I don't work here, but thanks anyway. And then Keanu obviously figured out he wanted to sing it just. So came back, bought an ice cream just so he could get a receipt. And I didn't want the ice cream, but just signed the receipt and gave it to him. Knocked on the door and gave it to him. Just so he goes, I figured you wanted my autograph, so here you go.

What if he was like, oh no no, no, I actually just... Just thought you could use the stuff to scout. You looked like some sort of weirdo at the movies on a Wednesday morning. Thought you might be struggling. Maybe he needed it. Would you go back to your original role, Ben, of, you know, a lovable dreadlocked rogue on Pulse Sport?

No, definitely not, no. The world's moved on, yeah. Bring them back. No, there's not. I actually shaved them off from me, man. Yeah, that's right. You did. It was the best movie you've made,

so thank you for that. So he was the last non-white man with dreadlocks. And Benny, she performed on Jeremy Fallon yesterday afternoon, and Jeremy gave her probably such an epic hype speech. Summer Breakout smash hit. I love this song. Am I too old to love this song?

I might be. I don't know. I love it. I love this song. I love her voice. I love the whole thing. Super Lonely is the song. It's the biggest.

It's all over TikTok. So if you're on TikTok, you know this song. Anyways, she's making her TV debut. Benny with Gus Dapperton here is super lonely. That's very cool. Did he rehearse that? Because it felt like he was just making that up as he went along. Because he's doing it from home. You know? Is that a script?

Yeah, it's a little bit of an ad lib for him. Hey, it's Jimmy. I'm just saying some words. Do I like it? Do I like it? Am I too old for this? I don't know. Not where you'd have an audience and someone else to bounce off, you know, the roots, the band, doesn't he?

Just a guy rambling to his cell phone in a garage. I love how he answers his own question. Am I too old, baby? He sounds very genuine in it, though.

He does. She's so cool, man. She's awesome. Even watching what she performed last night, she's like, she just brings, you know,

she's herself. It's awesome. She was dancing with two dogs. She was holding the dog the whole time. It was a wonderful core strength, Penny.

Very impressive, but you know, well done. Huge achievement and a huge milestone in her career. For sure, for sure. All from the comfort

of her own home as well. Yeah, well that's right. The easiest, best way to do it. And for more spy, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben?

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