Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - June 19 - Jacinda Ardern, The A To Z Of New Zealand, Can Jono Type With His Eyes Closed?

Episode Date: June 22, 2020

Jacinda Ardern called inOur cardboard cutout has been returnedCan Jono type with his eyes closed?What are your thoughts on the weed referendum?What couple things do you do separately?The A To Z of New ZealandSpyWhat perks did you get as a child?Scrolling Through Your FeedDon't Call Us, We'll Call YouBig News Small TownSpySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. It's a Friday and it's a big show for us. We had to try and track down the Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern to see if she could help us get our cardboard cutouts back. As well as talking to her about some other important stuff. Yeah, does the Prime Minister have a full back tattoo? This is a rumour that we got a hold of during the week. We held this information back

and then we sprung it on her mid-interview and she was not expecting it. No, so find out on the podcast. Her answer will astound you. Yes, it's big on the podcast today. Did I oversell it a bit? Yeah, it was a great clickbait. Yeah, yeah.

Her answer, does she? I made it sound like she has a full back tattoo. And now you're making it sound like she doesn't. So where's your head at? I've mind-effed you. I've done a classic. I've got it in there and I've just been into your mind. Hey, Ben, did you know John Wick?

Please never do that again. Did you know John Wick... The movie? Yeah, can't always... Kills three people with a pencil in the movie. Yeah, well, it's a very... My son Oscar told me that it was coming to a... It's a very my son Oscar told me that it was coming to

it's a very brutal movie like a very a lot of action he's like do you know John Wick killed three people

in a bar with a pencil and I was like well this is I guess I've seen them there's three of the movies he's out for revenge a pencil

yeah how do you kill someone with a pencil John Wick can do it lead poisoning it's a slow death it's a long play. Chew this. You'll feel the effects of that in about six to ten hours.

We'll come back. Anyway, enjoy the podcast. Has Jacinda Ardern got a back tattoo? Find out. Yes, no, maybe. The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We've got the Prime Minister calling up on the hotline right now. Hello.

Hello. It's Jono and Ben here. How's it going? Great. How are you guys? I was trying to prank you into thinking you'd called the wrong number. No time for this, Jono. She hasn't got time for this. Yeah, you know what? You've pranked so much. I even know your

pranking voice. I'm sorry, Prime Minister. Just an idea. Thank you for your time. How are you going? How's things at the moment? Because I was thinking the other night, my wife went out. I'm sorry, Prime Minister. Just an idea. Thank you for your time. How are you going? How's things at the moment? Because I was thinking the other night, my wife went out, I was getting a bit frazzled.

I was trying to cook dinner for the kids. I was making a Hogwarts replica cardboard castle for my kids' science project. You know, I was not even running the country. You're running the country as a mum as well. How do you do it? Just a good question. I eat quite a few as well. How do you do it? Just a good question. I eat quite a few fish fingers. I love fish fingers too.

The kids love them, don't they? Kids become a great excuse to eat chicken nuggets and fish fingers again. Are you cooking all 15 fish fingers at the same time I do? It's a lot. I have to admit that when, and I'm often not here to cook me each dinner, but when I am, I cook a few extra just for snacks. Yeah, it's good.

You can't go past a fish drink. I really found a new one. I'm with you, Jacinda. So I guess my point is that I do what a parent does. I just do what it takes to get by. Now, I want to ask you a serious question. How howling were you when you heard there were two new cases and who had to break that news to you? Yeah.

I think probably most people could imagine my reaction. I should say that the fact that we had two cases coming in from the border is not a surprise. It's a growing pandemic and we still have New Zealanders coming in. And of course, they're in quarantine. It's the circumstances that really got me, as you can imagine. So just like everyone else. So that was the bit.

I found out while I was in meetings. Can we reenact the moment? I'll be the person telling you and I'll be like, Prime Minister, two people came and got a coronavirus. And what was your reaction? Let's step outside. Okay, oh, it's one of those conversations. Because you can understand the frustration, you know,

and obviously you're feeling it as well. New Zealand, our team of five million, yourself, Ashley, the government did a great job. We got through, you know, lockdown. A lot of sacrifices were made by people, you know, work-wise and not seeing, you know, dying relatives and government did a great job. We got through lockdown. A lot of sacrifices were made by people work-wise and not seeing dying relatives and births and all that. And then obviously this happened and people are feeling a little bit frustrated.

Yeah, again, keep in mind, and you will have heard me say, we'll have more cases in New Zealand. That was always a reference in particular to the fact that the border, we have to let New Zealanders come home. And so that was always going to mean that we would have more cases. Of course, we're quarantining people at the border. So it was the circumstances of the compassionate leave that is the very frustrating part for everyone.

Yeah, and I think the other surprising thing is that people didn't understand that no tests were happening. Well, in this case, they haven't for these individuals, but tests are happening. That was the frustrating part. They were required to be happening, and in this case, hadn't happened. What was expected did not happen, so they were meant to have been tested, and that did not happen. So you're not worried about things going backwards? I mean, we had a weekend of full rugby crowds, it felt like we're

getting back to normality. It's not like that America's Cup we celebrated and then it was like, oh hang on. As I say, keep in mind we've always built the system for the fact that we would continue to have New Zealanders who would likely return and we needed to manage in a really safe way, which is why everyone goes into hotels. The thing

that I'm like, jeez we're going a bit hard now, is people turning on Ashley. They're like, Ashley's got to lose his job. From hero to zero. That was the headline. I was like, come on. The guy's done a great job. Look, we all know people are feeling

a lot of anxiety and anger and lots of things. Our job, my job, Ashley's job, everyone, is just to fix it. And so that's what we're all getting on with Our job, my job, Ashley's job, everyone, is just to fix it. And so that's what we're all getting on with. Now, Prime Minister, now this is a rumour that we were texting about you. Oh, yeah, we've got to ask the hard questions right now, Jacinda Ardern.

We've got a text to our studio during the week saying, I knew Jacinda when I was growing up in Morrinsville and she has a full back tattoo. She covers up. Have you got a full back tattoo. She covers up. Have you got a full back tattoo? We're like, oh, you need to ask Jacinda Ardern this. Full back tattoo. Oh, classic.

No, I do not. Oh, it would have been so good if you had a full back tattoo. We got the scoop. Did they say what it was? No, they didn't. They just said, oh, no, we're convinced that she's got a full back tattoo. She covers it up, does a great job. We're like, whoa, I've never seen a back, so maybe.

No, no, no, no, not correct. That's a rumour. That's fine. That one can continue. Yeah, that's fine. I love it how it's not a half back tattoo, it's a full blonde back tattoo. Yeah, yeah. Striking.

I know how busy you are, so just before you go, there's one little final thing we just wanted to ask you. Yeah, we've sent cardboard cutouts of ourselves around the country on a safe, social distancing, responsible tour, Jacinda. And the listeners are transporting the cardboard cutouts. But on Wednesday, some lunatic... He stole the cardboard cutouts.

And he wants them, he basically will give them back if we can get a happy birthday message from him, from you to him. Here was his demand. If you guys could get me a personalised video message from Jacinda Ardern, I'll release the cutout. So we thought, could you just say happy birthday to Daryl

the truck driver? We might do a video message, but can you say that right now? So you're negotiating with your kidnapper. Yeah, I mean, you've got some stuff going on at the moment. So do we, Jacinda. I don't know if you're meant to negotiate with the kidnapper. I don't know how that works. Well, I know the military have been called in for some

other stuff right now, so we're like, hey, we just want the safe return of our cardboard cutouts. Alright, so happy birthday, Daryl the truck driver. There we go. Oh, you don't know, you've saved us Jacinda. You have. Well, let's see if he follows through. What state

you're in when you carry a tattoo? That's true. Dead right. Well, you go back to hiding that full back tattoo. Thank you. And enjoying your fish fingers and yeah, good luck with everything that's going on at the moment. As I say, we are thinking of you and hope you get through this like you have done the last few months.

We will, team. Look after yourselves. Remember to double pump the virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I'm a big campaigner for the internet needing a spring clean. There's a lot of stuff clogging up the internet. We're responsible for a large amount of it. Yeah, but then I just got into a Taylor

Swift hole. What is Taylor Swift's favourite thing to order from Starbucks? This is clogging up the internet. What is it? She likes an iced Americano, Ben. You're quite interested. Oh, tell me. Do you want to know what Taylor Swift's favourite ice cream is? Yeah, go on.

That'd be cookie dough. Cookie dough. Yeah, that's a good option. Her favourite colour? She likes purple. Yeah. And now I say it, I'm really interested in all this stuff. It's quite disturbing, the 38-year-old man is

googling fun Taylor Swift facts. Please don't look at my internet history. Now, our cardboard cutouts, we've been trying to do a socially responsible, safe tour of the country. So we sent cardboard cutouts down to Bluff. Last week, and through the help of you guys, the listeners, we've been getting them up the country. The South

Island did their job. They helped us out. They got through and everyone that got a photo with them were helped out transporting the cardboard cutouts. Just hashtag JohnOnBen5KCutout. They're in the draw for five grand if they get back to us here at the studios. South Island's reliable. I can see why you want to separate yourself from the North.

Yeah? Yeah. You're upstanding citizens, fine people. Then it hit the North in Wellington and have we got dramatic music or something, JJ? Yes, I. Then it hit the north in Wellington. And have we got dramatic music or something, JJ? Yes, I can get some dramatic music. Hit Wellington. And they were kidnapped.

Taken. Taken from us. Someone warned us a couple of days before they were going to take it. And then that person took them. Apparently, they've got them. And they had a very unusual request for the return of the cardboard cutouts. Yeah. They wanted

us to personalise video birthday message from Jacinda Ardern. Very specific request. We had unmarked bills. We had marked bills. We had bills Ben had found from his favourite pole dancing club that we were willing to give this kidnapper.

But we can hold on to those bills. Thank you, thank you. Appreciate that. You can spend those this afternoon at lunch, buddy. I know it's an all-you-can-eat lunch there today. And it's just how you like to end the week. It's not true. With a wonderful strip bar buffet.

It's not true. Anyway, Daryl, the kidnapper. He joins us on the phone right now, back on New Zealand's Breakfast. Daryl. How are you guys? I don't know what your TSL is, your time spent listening, but we just had the Prime Minister on.

The radio on the truck's actually busted, so I didn't hear it. Oh, okay. Well, this is what happened around about 10 minutes ago. We've got to replay. Yeah, we do. Thank you.

Happy birthday, Daryl, the truck driver. Uh-oh. Is that a message from Jacinda Ardern? Say it again. Happy birthday, Daryl, the truck driver. Yes, it is. Oh, yes. So that's an audio message.

I asked for a video message. Oh, here we go. I knew you was going to call us on that. We came in saying, this is what you wanted, trying to smoke screen, and I knew you was going to call us out on the video. She's quite busy.

She's got a lot of things going on at the moment. And I thought an audio message from the Prime Minister, you know, surely that's good enough. Look, I mean, you came through halfway. You didn't quite get the whole way. So I'm not going to bring it right back to you boys. But you did pretty good, and I'm pretty impressed. And to be honest, sending a video

is a nightmare. Oh yeah. It would have been a nightmare for the Prime Minister to get the video. She would have to upload it to a Google Drive and send us the link. Yeah, a wee transfer or something. The logistics around it. Yeah, look, all I hear is excuses. Just say thank you for organising that. Look, I've got a job

north today, so I'm going to leave it just outside of Tauranga on the side of the road, and we'll call it a day on this one, eh? So you will drop them on the side of the road. You don't have to say where, because that would be quite nice. If we kind of knew where you were going to drop them, just somewhere on some state highway near Tauranga. Yeah, that's all.

Great, because I need those cardboard cutouts back because I'm going to use them to raise my children. So I can pretend that I'm there. Dad's always there. He's there. He tuned up to our graduation. But his mate Ben's always on his shoulder. Weirdly resting on his shoulder.

Weirdly resting. But they come as a pair, I guess. Oscar's winning. That was great. Well, hey, listen, this has been wonderful. It's been a wonderful part of the journey, Daryl. Exciting, unpredictable, and I'm pleased that we got a message from Jacinda Ardern.

I don't think we're going to get that. Yeah, look, thanks for that, boys. I'm impressed. So you're welcome. You're welcome for stealing the cutout. And you won't be seeing your pixelated face on Police 107 this week either, because we had spoken to them.

Not for this, but I think we will. Madrid driving is just shocking. Enjoy your birthday on Sunday. Cheers, boys. Good luck with that. Thank you very much. So that means the tour's back on, baby. We got the old gang back together.

If you want to head to the Hits Breakfast on Facebook and Instagram, I'm sure we can update you. We'll work out where they're going to be if we can get them back maybe in Tauranga some stage today, I guess. Yeah, don't forget, if you transport them from one location to another

or if you have a photo with them, you're in the draw for the 5K if they make it back to the Hit Studio. We're back. We're back. We're back. This is a good day.

Serving bowls of lols for breakfast. Actual lols may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. This show needs to be known for something. You know, on ZM they've got

the secret sound and Hodaki, they've got the secret sound and Hodaki, they've got the guy from Seven Sharp. Right. Don't they? What have we got? We've got nothing.

But I think I might have found our thing. What's our thing? I realised yesterday that I can type with my eyes closed. Now that is a skill. Can you type

with your eyes closed? Maybe a little bit. I can type a whole sentence with my eyes closed. We can be the show known for the guy that's got the skill. Maybe I type with your eyes closed? Maybe a little bit. I can type a whole sentence with my eyes closed. We can be the show known for the guy that's got the skill. Maybe I'll get a few letters wrong though. You would imagine me probably as a one

finger sort of guy on the keyboard. No, I'm multi-fingers. Magic fingers. Ben will testify to these magic fingers. The places these fingers have been. So you reckon you can type right now? Yeah. You tell me something to type and I've plugged it into that text to speech website

so the audience will know what I've actually typed. There's a clear screen. Can you show me? It's a clear screen. Here you go. So you tell me what to type and I'll have my eyes closed. It's a fun game. And we'll see how I go. My name is Jono.

Can I just see where Em is first? I don't know. I just need to get a good starting point. Usain Bolt doesn't walk up to the start line. He's also not claiming he's going to do the 100 metres blindfold. But anyway. So what did you want me to say? My name is Jono.

My. Yeah. Name. Oh, shh. Name. Is Jono. Jono. Yeah. And I am bald. Oh, shh. Name is... Is Jono. Jono, yeah. And I am bald.

And I am bald. Okay. Great. See where that goes. So I'll push start. Are we ready to go, Juju? Yeah. My B-A-N-W-U-A-H-E-B-B equals S-U-N-V-K-S.

There we go. There we go. Hey, so... Let's just play that again. My B-A-N-W-U-I-E-B-B equals S-U-N-V-K-S. I think you feel the same way now with that. Maybe we won't be the show note for the guy that can type with his eyes closed. Sorry, I came in quite cocky and confident there.

I was like, wow. I was practising it last night at home and I was like, the guys will be so impressed with this. Didn't quite work out. In your head? In my head, it's not how I saw this coming. I thought you were going to be like, wow, you can do it. But not quite. D-A-N-W-U-I-H-E-B-B equals S-U-N-D-K-S.

Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. 2020, already a big year, but later in the year, the general election and also the referendum. We were talking actually off-air yesterday, Jono, you and I, about the cannabis referendum that's happening. What are you going to do? What are you going to vote? I don't know. I'm really torn. Yeah, I thought there might have been three categories of you can vote for medicinal only, legal or not legal, but you said that's not the case.

Oh yeah, I did a bit of research last night and it's, so the referendum doesn't cover medicinal cannabis. Apparently that's already legal under the cannabis scheme. So it's basically just to say, do you want yes or no, should the recreational use of cannabis be legal in New Zealand? That's all you're answering. It's a conundrum, isn't it? Because I find you know, I've known people who have smoking

smoking the bloody dank. Don't try to sound cool. That sounds cool. The jazz cabbage. The giggle tree. I've indulged in that. But you know, on a serious note,

some of my friends, probably since age 15, every day, some of them it hasn't affected in any way at all, but others it's taken, you know, taken lives and a huge toll on their mental health. So it's such a catch-22, isn't it?

You can't have, in one sentence going, we've got to do stuff about mental health that in the other sentence, oh, go and smoke weed for your life since you're a teenager. And I also think, you know, because I don't know where I sit either because, you know, policing it

seems like a bit of a waste of police time. But then at the same time, now I've got kids, I'm like, I don't know if I want this to be. And you used to have dreadlocks. Yeah, so we know your history. We know your history, buckabong boy. You go to LA though, and it's, you know, we went

to work a couple times in LA, and it's legal there, and everywhere you go it just smells like weed, right? Yeah, it's unusual. Even in the hotel, we were like walking, you know, it's coming out of rooms and stuff like that. You ended up in a rap video. I did. Yeah, that was a wild night. It was a wild night. We were staying in the hotel.

It was on... It was near Hollywood, wasn't it? Yeah, Hollywood Boulevard. And the Grammys were on. You were now radio producer Carl at the time. Yeah, yeah. Just two bald, weird white guys from New Zealand. And we were staying on the same level as this hip-hop group.

And they were filming a video in their room. And it was like literally probably 30 people in the room. Lots of weed wafting out. And I walked past we'd just finished our radio show

and I was like that was a fun radio programme and they're like what are you doing? I'm like mate we've just done radio in New Zealand and they're like cool

and invited me in. They're like come on in. They were very welcoming. Very welcoming. Put a bottle of champagne in my hand and they're like we come on in. They were very welcoming. Very welcoming. Put a bottle of champagne in my hand. And they're like, we're filming a video. You would have ruined their credibility straight away. I know.

I mean, this room had all of the cliches you wanted. The only non-cliche was this bald guy from New Zealand. And then I had to sit on the bed in between two ladies. You know, not fully clothed. It must have been very cold. And I was sitting on the bed. And then these guys were like wrapping around me and I was awkwardly sitting there

holding a bottle of champagne. And they're like, wave it round. And I'm like, we're trying to wave this around. I don't know if you would have made the cut to the end video. Sharon, who we were doing the radio show at the time, she poked her head in. She was like, what's going on?

I was like, Sharon, come in. They need someone to dance. She's like, get stuffed. There's no way I'm getting involved in that. Come in here, these nice people need you to dance on camera. That is definitely not happening. I wonder if I did make the cut for that. I don't think you would have.

We made a lovely connection though, didn't we? And the room was very smoky too. I think there was some problems with the air conditioning. They got kicked out. Remember they got kicked out? Yeah, they did. There was a big for all. I don't think you're allowed

to film rap videos at the hotel. Yeah, and or smoke weed in your bedroom. But yeah, there was a big kerfuffle in the hallway. I was like, what's going on, guys? They're trying to kick us out.

And I was like, don't kick these nice guys out. I've just been in their rap music video. Oh, jeez. And that's the day I met Migos. It was wonderful.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We were talking yesterday. We know some friends of ours who, through their whole relationship, and now it's morphed into marriage, have had separate bank accounts. So they just work both jobs.

They earn their own money, and they spend their own money. Obviously, they both chip in for rent and whatnot. But, like, if she wants to go on holiday and he can't afford it at that time, she'll just go. She'll just go. She'll go, okay. Well, I'm sorry, you can't afford it. You couldn't manage your finances like I have.

But I'm off to Nelson because I can't travel out of New Zealand at the moment. So, yeah. Got us thinking, have you got a similar thing in your relationship? Separated? What couple things are you doing separately? I'm not in control of the finances at home and I'm glad because

I'm not. I'm not a safe pair of hands. Look at me. No, you're not. If Jen goes, I'm just going to sit there in darkness. Wouldn't have paid the power bill. The kids won't have any food. You keep getting messages from Vodafone every month, don't you? Yeah, I do. I don't even pay my phone.

I've got one bill to pay. It's a cell phone. I keep going, just put it on. I like automatic payment. Yeah, and I'm like, I like it. I like them wanting me. No one else wants me. You're like, ooh, Vodafone.

Once a month, someone wants me. And it gets kind of aggressive, slowly aggressive. But I'm useless at that front. It doesn't have to be a counselor. It could be like maybe you sleep in separate rooms, maybe you go out separately. My wife, you know, she loves dancing. She likes going, and I know she loves dancing

and I'm a white guy with no rhythm. I don't like dancing. Do you just send her out dancing? Yeah, I say, you want to go have a night out dancing? You go have a night out dancing. I can go catch up with friends or I can stay home. I don't mind, but you go out. It's your thing.

Have you never gone out dancing? I do, awkwardly. I would love to see you going out dancing. Awkwardly. How do you dance? Show me how you dance now. Play some music, Juju. Play like Rihanna.

Calvin Harris, Rihanna or something. I want to see that. No, I want to see it. Calvin drinks in awkwardly. One time I'll get my wife to film me doing it. You know, like I'm not a dancer. No, do it now for the social video. I'm not a dancer.

I just said I don't dance. It's not my thing. But you have. So I have. And I want to imagine what it's like. You can imagine it. One, I'm not a dance. I just said I don't dance. It's not my thing. But you have. So I have. And I want to imagine what it's like. You can imagine it. One time you'll see me dance.

Juju's just finding some appropriate music. Here we go. Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance. No, because I'm not one of those guys that I'm like, hey guys, how are you?

How are you? You always feel my... I can't do it, I can't do it. He's not laughing. I can imagine you'd be laughing on the dance floor. You're like... I can't do it, I can't do it. He's not laughing. I can imagine you'd be laughing on the dance floor. You're like, I don't do this. I can't do this. I can't dance.

And then Amanda will go, you've got no rhythm. I'll be like, I know, I know. Yeah, because I can't do it. I can't do it. It's not my thing. But yeah, but I have... We do that separately. She even went overseas and did three months of OE separately.

Oh, that's right. And you lived with your mother-in-law? Mother-in-law had a great time. Me and Joyce had a great time. We watched sport together. She's a big sports fan. Unusual. It's an unusual thing, isn't it?

She cooks wonderful meals. Joyce is a lovely lady. I hope you don't mind, but I folded your washing. I'm like, no, I don't mind at all. You know, so those sort of things. And then I went and met up with Amanda a couple months later. And you're like, I'm now going to marry your mum. Because we've had a wonderful time for three months.

We've connected emotionally and she's doing all of my domestic chores. Wonderful time. She's really into sport too. And doesn't go dancing. This is everything I want. And she goes dancing. It's on a Wednesday morning at the Returned Services Association. Okay.

It's awkward. 0800 the hits of the telephone number It's not quite as awkward. 0800, the hits of the telephone number, 4487 on the text. Let's get your calls this morning on New Zealand's Breakfast. What couple things are you doing separately? Have you got separate bank accounts? Do you go on separate holidays?

Do you not go out together at night? Do you sleep in separate rooms? Yeah, do you have separate friends? And maybe things are all good. We spoke to a lady the other day on the show that they moved in together during lockdown, decided it wasn't for them. They've gone back to their separate houses and just happy as.

Get on the phone. Get on the text. Stop what you're doing. Don't get ready for work. Call a radio show. That's what we want you to do. We know you're busy in the morning. Stop what you're doing. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We like to call every town and city

in New Zealand. We don't like to do it. We started it. We're in too deep. We can't pull out now. It's on a public platform. It would look bad if we pulled out now, so we've committed to the A to Z of New Zealand. That's right. It's going to take us, you've figured out over two years.

Where are we? How am I going to be in two years? I look like bloody Carrie McCormack in two years. What am I? You wish. He looks way younger than me already. But two and a half years we've never been more committed to anything

in our lives. Yeah, we're stuck to it. The ulterior motive is they can't fire us because we'll be like, oh, no, we started this A to Z thing. Yeah, exactly. We're in the middle of this. So we are calling a different town or place in New Zealand.

Well, town or city, basically, is what we're doing. Yeah. And it's going to take us over two years. We're doing it alphabetically. And today we've moved on to somewhere close to where I used to grow up. Yeah, so you grew up in the Macedon region.

And is it Bideford? Bideford is how people used to say it back in the day. region, and is it Bideford or Bideford? Bideford is how people used to say it back in the day, but who knows if they were saying it correctly. We're in the B's now. It's a small rural settlement located in Masterton. Ben Boyce, actually, from Masterton, and you were the captain of the Masterton debating team. No, Ness. Here we go.

No, stop it there. Stop it there. I know where you're going with this. I think we can connect the dots. You won three national titles. I think we can connect Masterton and debating. You can put that together. That was the team name.

I never did debating at all. You've just put this in to do a very lowbrow joke. Juliet's got it. I think we've given people enough time to get what you were getting at without saying it. You're a very successful debating team. Yeah, we are. And you don't even need to complete that.

I need to say the name of the team. No, you don't need to because people have connected the dots in their heads and it's a safe environment for kids to be listening right now. All right, let's make a call to Biddeford. Hello? Hello? Have we got hold of Biddeford or Bideford? Biddeford. It's Biddeford or Bideford? Biddeford.

It's Biddeford. Yeah, we're just having this debate. I grew up in the Wairarapa and I was like, I'm pretty sure everyone said Biddeford, but we could have been saying it wrong. No, you're saying it correct. It's Jono and Ben from The Hits here. This is the A to Z of New Zealand.

We're calling every town and city. And Biddeford is number 37 on the list. Is it? Alphabetically, not in popularity. Sorry to break the news to you. In popularity, it's about 368. We don't know that. How come I've been selected?

You're literally the only phone number on the internet from Biddeford. Is that because of the accommodation that we run? Yeah, you've got accommodations. Apparently, you've turned the old school into accommodation. Is that right? We have, yeah. We've got an Airbnb going there, yeah. Right.

It also looks like a great place to start a cult. You've got all sorts of stuff there. You should have started a cult. Yes, if you're into that, but they're not. Oh, yeah. So did you buy it as a school or did you buy it at... Yeah, so we rent it from the owners and they bought it as a school

off of the Queen. Off the Queen? Did they have to barter with the Queen? Was she running a hard bargain? Not themselves, no. I don't think the Queen was on the phone doing the negotiation. She's like, you're busting my balls here, guys. I couldn't go low 1.2 million. Oh, that's as low as I'm going to get, guys.

Oh, well, that's amazing. So what else can we do in Biddeford? You can see sheep and cows. Yeah, and then, of course, there's our Airbnb. We've got a swimming pool, tennis court. That's a great rural retreat.

Oh, lovely. And Ben Boyce, who you did mention at the beginning of this, came from Masterton. Do they still talk... Oh, really? Do they still talk about

the great Ben Boyce? Obviously not if she went, oh, really? Well, I'm from England, so maybe I missed out on that. But I've heard the name mentioned. I always wondered who the man in the legend was. Well, you're talking to the man, the myth, the legend now. I am humbled.

Do you know he's actually on the wall of legends at the Lone Star? Yeah, I feel like they were panicking at the Lone Star a little bit. So yeah, they really did struggle. That's probably a reflection on Marston and also me. But anyway. That's a claim to fame. I'm honoured. Next time you look at that wall of legends,

you just remember the day you spoke to the great man himself. I sure will. I sure will. I'm taking the time and date right now to mark it on my calendar. All right, now you're taking the piss. I love it.

Love having to talk to you. You enjoy your school that you've turned into accommodation. It looks awesome. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth.

It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy, the WhatsApp, spy.co.nz. She shoved her hand into the sloppy celebrity cesspit and it's come out dripping in gunky gossip. Here is producer Juliette with Spy.

Beautiful picture to paint. Mike Tyson, a movie, a biopic, is coming out about his life and Jamie Foxx is set to play and this is his sort of impression of Mike Tyson. When I called Mike a couple of years ago and said, Mike, how you doing? He says, I'll pray to Twala, my brother.

I'm just happy. I said, why are you happy? I'm just happy because I don't have a crazy amount of money anymore so I don't have a crazy amount of money anymore. So I don't have any vultures around me. So nobody can take anything from me. Pretty good impression. He's a talented guy, Jamie Foxx.

He can sing, he can act, and obviously do great impressions. You forget he was a comedian when he first started. He was in that show in Living Colour back in the day. Is that where he started? And he used to do impressions of people and stuff. He's a very talented guy. Yeah. And he's also bulking up for the role as well.

Of course, yeah. He's going to the gym all the time doing 60 pull-ups, 100 push-ups, all that jazz. Just torture, basically. That's just Ben's morning workout routine, isn't it? But Mike Tyson's having a bit of a resurgence at the moment, isn't he? Comeback fights, movies. This is all planned.

Everything's planned in Hollywood, but it's smart it's smart if he's got a comeback fight in a movie out at the same time he's going to be rolling in it true

he had a obscene amount of money at a very young age yeah he had tigers he had tigers living in a hotel room didn't he

with him for a while or was that the hangover I think it was the hangover I was wondering that I think it was the hangover or was it the hangover he might have had

similar sort of things was that a documentary the hangover no he already made a bi think it was The Hangover. What was it, The Hangover? He might add similar sort of things. Was that a documentary, The Hangover? No. They already made a biopic. It was The Hangover. It was The Hangover. I don't know if that was a true story, Jada. Yeah, there was another one about this ship.

Titanic, have you seen that one? Well, that was real. Well, that is based on a real one. Yeah, no, I'm trying to, I'm waiting for something there and it's backfired horribly. Yeah, no, it's actually true, based on a true story about Leonardo DiCaprio wasn't actually on the original Titanic. Wasn't he?

Really? Some truth bombs coming through. And Kristen Stewart, she's been set to play Princess Diana in a new movie called Spencer coming out next year and people are not happy because that, you know,

obviously you see the image of Kristen Stewart in Twilight and she's a bit awkward and a bit, you know, people are like, she's American too. Is she actually going to fulfil the role of Princess Diana well? But the director said he wanted someone to be mysterious and Kristen is exactly that. They look quite similar.

The photos I've seen online, they've got sort of looks of them looking the same. You're like, I can see how she could play a good role. Exactly, exactly. Do we need a Diana movie? Yes, we do. I love her. i feel like there's been nine diana movies do we do we need is there a market out there before mike dyson one to be honest yes yeah yeah i agree and it's well it's going to be focused on um the whole movie is basically going to be around the single weekend she decides that her marriage to prince charles isn't working it's not going to touch on her death or anything like that,

just that one weekend that she realises. Oh, the one weekend? Yeah, which is interesting, eh? So it's two days. Oh, my God. Do you need this? I'm excited. You've been running off with Camilla Barker Bowles.

This is over. There's the beginning and end of the movie. Camilla Parker Bowles. Not Barker Bowles. You've been doing the dog show on TV too long. Right now I'm going to resign it Parker Bowls. I thought you said Barker. You've been doing the dog show on TV too long. Right now I'm going to resign from all royal reporting duties. Thank you. I'm going to leave it in the hands of Juliet the Professional.

Thank you. I know nothing. Thank you. For more spa, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Kia ora, I'm Jane Yee. I'm Alex Casey. And I'm Duncan Grave. We are the hosts of The Real Pod and Confession Cam Time.

We bloody love reality telly. If we sound like your type on paper, join us each week for your fix of reality TV news, recaps and gossip. On The Real Pod, it's perfectly fine to like reality TV. It's a safe space, so let down your walls,

wear your heart on your sleeve and remember, it is what it is. And what it is, is The Real Pod. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network and available wherever you get your pods

New Zealand's breakfast just don't eat them they're chewy it's Jono and Ben on the hits I was in the dairy the other day and a guy I know

his kids walked in and they just started you know fishing through the ice cream bin and picking ice creams and then the dairy owner's like yeah yeah, no, that's all good.

Go and have a good day. And they just walked out the door. Didn't pay. No transaction. And I was like, what's that all about? And he said he's got a deal going on with their father. I don't know. Maybe their father's got some incriminating photos

of the dairy owner or something. But no, he runs a business. So he gives the dairy owner some goods. But no, he runs a business, so he gives the dairy owner some goods. Oh, they kind of look after each other. A free reign of a dairy at age seven. Hashtag dreams coming true. Imagine if a seven-year-old you

could just walk into a dairy and grab anything you want. Just grab something. Oh, I love it. Love it. Wow. Because you had a good little perk, a parent perk, didn't you, when you were growing up? Yeah, I grew up at, well, I guess it was. I grew up at school. My dad was the principal, so we lived on the school grounds in the holidays.

Oh, mate, I could ride my bike over Jettabars. I was the weird guy doing one-man plays to no one in the school hall. You could go and do maths in the actual maths classroom. Some of the things, when I look back, I was like, wow, what was I doing? Getting in the drama room, putting on costumes, no one's around. Did you have that key that was always attached to a giant piece of wood for the school pool? Yes, yeah.

I later learned out that was because it floats. Oh, the wood? Yeah, the wood floats. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. But I was surprised. Just don't go swimming with the keys. It's very hard to put it in your pocket, isn't it? It was always annoying, like a big two-by-four piece of wood.

Yeah, so we had to go to the school pool. So you got to go swimming in the contaminated, urine-laden school pool. What a treat. Did you have changing rooms there? Yeah, there was a little changing room. Was there a gap between the ground and the... Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. People would always look under at me and be like, hey, get away, get on, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People would always look under at me and be like, hey, get away. Come on, mate. Yeah, it was quite... It was quite good for peeping Toms, wasn't it?

Yeah, but not good for getting changed, you know? No, but the boys would be like, let's go look at the girls. The girls would be like, let's go look at the boys. You'd see this head slide under the... Oh, why's the gap there?

Who built that? Who was designing that? That was a flaw in the system, but anyway. Too much airflow in those changing rooms. So what's your perk when you were growing up or maybe now right now your kids get to

benefit from it. Yeah do they get to wander into a shop and grab anything they want Producer Juju your parents what did they do? Well mum used to be a nurse and so she still works in the medical field but we would just have heaps of band-aids, heaps of bloody stitches.

In the middle of coronavirus, I had so many face masks, so many boxes of gloves. It was bloody great. Free PPE gear, baby. Now who's laughing? I bet when you were growing up, you're like, thanks for this mask, Mum. I know.

But now you're rolling in it like a pig in. Yeah, good stuff. So what is your parent perks? 0800, the hits is the phone number. You can give us a text as well. 4487. Did you forget that? No.

I picked it up for you. It's okay, mate. I'll get you back. It's better when you tell the text. Let's head to Nelson. Sash, guess what, mate? Yeah. It's Friday, baby.

It is, but you might have misheard my name. It's Tash. Oh, that's all right. We started so well, and then I ruined it. I'm sorry, Tash. Tash, it's Friday, baby. There Tash. Oh, that's all right. We started so well. Maybe I ruined it. I'm sorry, Tash. Tash, it's Friday, baby. There you go.

I'll pick it up there. Tash, what's your parent pick? So my mom and stepdad owned a tavern when we were about, my brother and I, about year seven, year eight. So we got all the alcohol merchandise, like Woodstock T-shirts and bucket hats. So we're rolling around school and, like, people go on there.

People go on there. There's kids, like, rolling around there. Oh, I could crack a woody. Exactly. We have those bucket hats, T-shirts, everything. So we're fresh to Blenheim. That's where I grew up and having that sort of stuff in school

we were so cool sponsored by alcohol kids get it early kids get it early it's so wrong but it's so funny some KGB track pants and things exactly it was all terrible

have a great Friday, mate. Who's next on the text? We'll find you, don't we? Neil, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. What was your parent perk

when you were growing up? My father, he drove diggers and bulldozers. And he let you drive them at six years old. Oh, yeah,

we used to do, I used to do that. It was, when we'd go to school on the school holidays, we'd go with Dad, and there'd be a race between me and my brother to get on the machine. Sounds like a health and safety nightmare.

But it was a different time in New Zealand. Yeah, it was. Kids could smoke and they could wear alcohol merchandise to school. Yeah. Sounds like a lot of fun. Let's head to, oh, this is, as the song was playing, Ben was like,

we've got to call our friend Mike because he had the best parent perk growing up. Yes. Now, I made Mike tell the story on the radio before.

I felt bad for making him tell it again. And he told you, he said, quote unquote, you must be scraping the barrel now.

No, I just felt bad. We wanted to have day one of the show. Mike, how's it going, buddy? How are you, boys? You well? Yeah, it's good to hear from you, mate.

You had the best parent perk growing up. Oh, look, you know, back in my younger days, my old man used to be quite high up at Euro Disney. So we used to live next door to Euro Disney and get to go in three or four times a week, which was quite nice. He lived in Disneyland.

His cousins were goofy. Uncle Mickey. Yeah, so you lived on Disneyland Paris and you basically could go there whenever you wanted. Yeah, correct. I mean, it was a bit sketchy at school because you're just wondering who your actual friends are. Everyone wants to be mates with you. I don't speak to any of them anymore

but no, it was good growing up. It was a good childhood. The downside is every time the friends want to come over to your house, they've got to pay $150 at the gate. And you've got 50,000 people wandering through your backyard every day. So would they do fireworks every night, Mike? And did the novelty wear off?

Yeah, the novelty does wear off. There is fireworks every night, sometimes during the day even, which seems a bit odd being daytime. But no, we went back last year, actually, to say g'day and got treated very nicely again. So the perks still work. That is incredible, yeah. You know, I grew up at Disneyland Paris.

Hey, good to hear from you, buddy. Hey, great to hear from you boys. Keep well. Yeah, we should catch up soon. Not on the radio, just in a... No, actually, like, properly, yeah. Yeah, but we can have this conversation off air because, you know, the audience doesn't need to hear us

teeing up a drink. Well, we can teed up. Oh, no, let's do that, yeah. What do you do in the Sarbo? All right, good to chat, Mike. And there we go. Parent Perks, Disneyland Paris. How good is that one?

Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. It's growing through your feet. Yes, we've been hunting and gathering news like a news beaver. A greasy, greasy news beaver greased up in Vaseline and olive oil. And one of the big news stories that happened in the last 24 hours, Britain, after Brexit, aiming for new trade deals

with Australia and New Zealand. And Boris Johnson, who's their Prime Minister, he's been making pitches on social media, like pitches like a sales pitch to New Zealand and Australia. And I love the local references

he's putting in while we should trade with them. Have a listen to the New Zealand one. There's so much that we already do. I mean, let's face it. We buy colossal quantities of New Zealand wine, fantastic Oyster Bay. We watch the Orcs and the Hobbits that we think come from New Zealand. We export gin.

We export buses to New Zealand. But frankly, there's so much more that we could do together. And to you, Boris, we watch Coronation Street. We enjoy your lack of oral hygiene. And we watch Jason Statham movies as well. We do. That's a big thing. So much we love England.

He sounds like a bit of a drunk, though, doesn't he? He's got a fantastic oyster belly. He has colossal quantities of wine. It's all right, mate. Maybe we should ease back. And I love the sales pitch he did for Australia, why they should trade with Australia. More local references.

I want a world in which we send you Marmite, you send us Vegemite, we send you penguins, and you send us, with reduced tariffs, these wonderful Arnott's Tim Tams. And he had a prop there. He had Tim Tams. Send us Tim Tams.

So there you go. I thought we had Marmite. Oh, that was our thing. Is that British? Is Marmite British? Well, I know that they have a different type. It's in like the yellow pot rather than the red. So I don't know who started it first,

but theirs is different and it's weird. And it's just like you become accustomed to it. Oh yeah, I love it now. We get trained from day one, you know, from the moment you come out of your mother's uterus, they put Marmite in your mouth. And you build up a tolerance to it. But then anyone that comes over here, you're like from overseas,

you've got to try this. It was like, oh! Is this like a prank? We make all the celebrities do it. And when they try it, you give like Gwyneth Paltrow a spoon full of Marmite. She's got black teeth and stuff. She's like, why would you do this to it, you give like Gwyneth Paltrow a spoon full of marmite, she's got black teeth and stuff. She's like, why would you do this to me, you monsters? And of course, the other big news from the last 24 hours,

the quarantine in New Zealand is a bit of a shambles, to be honest. Everyone's turned on Ashley Bloomfield. I know. Have we forgotten all of his good work over the last three months? Well, yeah, we have. I say burn him at the stake. Yeah, because the headline this morning online was from hero to zero. I was like, wow, they've really gone hard on me.

What? Is it his fault? Is the general director of health or is it David Clark? Oh, I don't know. The health minister. Questions for Jacinda Ardern. But my favourite story to come out of quarantine in the last 24 hours. An Auckland homeless man, he's enjoyed two weeks of all expenses paid accommodation

at the plush Crown Plaza Hotel. So he just sort of bluffed his way in with some of the other people isolating in quarantine and got two weeks accommodation. So well done. Well played. He,

he probably, oh, not feeling, oh, get into a room, mate, quickly, mate.

I'll need the penthouse. Okay, whatever. So two weeks. Good, well, great play. So,

how do people find out? I think they said it only came to light after two weeks when he was asked for his home address. He's like, mate, Queen Street. Yeah, they're like, where about, oh, well, yeah. So well done, that guy. So there you go. That's what's been happening over the last 24 hours,

keeping you updated on a Friday. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now, when we started the show, we said, okay, what's the mission statement? What's the one thing that's going to get us out of bed every morning? And we said, one by one,

we want to turn every New Zealander against us by phoning them on the fly and making them participate in a game show that they don't want to be in. But they get a chance to win prizes. They do. They get $40 worth of hell pizza. That's kind of a make good on our part.

Yeah. And we used to do the rude awakening. You guys would phone us and we'd wake up your friends and family. And, you know, quickly we realised that a lot of people weren't willing to destroy their relationships. No. Because I was thinking, I wouldn't wake up and answer a phone. I wouldn't want to.

Would you want to ring up Amanda right now? Your wife? I could. We could actually just text. So, yeah, currently. So we could. Do you you want to ring up Amanda right now? Your wife? We could actually just text. Yeah, currently it works. So we could. Do you want to give her a call right now? We could do if you want. Yeah.

But normally, no. No. You're right. I wouldn't do it to mine. So we didn't know. We didn't think there was much longevity in The Rude Awakening. So we've come up with a new version, which is called Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. We phone people, and they've got no choice.

They have to participate. Yeah. They don't participate. They look like awful human beings. People that we hope will be up in the morning, but let's give someone a call. Discovery Modellage, Joe speaking. Joe, don't call us, we'll call you.

That was just meant to be the introduction. I wasn't expecting such a great reaction. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Hello. You're in the middle of a live quiz. I'm not, am I? It's a quiz and you can just answer four questions quickly and you'll get $40 hell pizza. Oh, good.

Jo. Yeah? You sound like a wonderful lady. I am. Yeah? I like to think so. I am. I like it. What do you give yourself out of 10 as a person? As a person? Oh, God.

10? 10 out of 10? Yeah, 10 good. Positive. Jo rates herself and I rate Jo. Yeah. Let's see how good you are at a quiz. All right, Jo, here's your first question.

Jeremy Wells is a host on which show? Seven Sharps? Seven Blumps? Pardon, pardon? Seven Sharps, Seven Blumps. Pardon, pardon? Seven Sharps. Just that type of gag answers, Jotter. It's multi-choice, Joe. There's a format.

I know you've never played this game before. There's a format that you need to stick to. Okay, mate. So you got one right. You got $10 half pizza. If I was in Cape Reanga, where in the country would I be? Top, bottom or middle? You'd be at the top.

Two from two, Joe. Gordon Ramsay is a celebrity Two from two, Jo. Gordon Ramsay is a celebrity what? A, mechanic, B, chef, or C, debt collector? Love to say debt collector, but he is a chef. Well done. She's just so good at this game. And finally, your last question, Jo, before we let you get on with your life without us in it.

Tiamaru is in which island? Celebrity Treasure Island, Heartbreak Island, or South Island, Jo? They are in the South Island. Well done, Jo. Four from four, baby. Ten out of ten for you as a person and four out of four for questions. You've got $40 for pizza. Oh, that's O for awesome. What are you going to spend it on?

I think I'll be spending it at Hell's Pizza. You've got no other choice. What a great question question though, John. It's not legal tender. Don't try and spend it anywhere else, Joe. Not the bottle store then. Not the bottle store. You have a great day, all right?

You too. Thank you very much. See you, Joe. More painful than your alarm clock. It's John O'Ban, all the hits. Are you a supermarket trolley rider? It's one of my only joys as an adult. What, getting in the trolley?

No, I don't sit in the trolley. I get pushed around the supermarket. It's the only way I do my shopping. One of my only joys. My wife, Jen, is to push me around. I want the cocoa bobs. No, you've had them last week. And I send that little thing

You fold out But put my legs through You know Facing her I like to face her And she pushes me around Yeah that's what I like doing No

You know when you're in the car park And you've got You're shopping in the trolley And you can ride it I lean up on the bars And I can ride down the car I love it Well sometimes I guess they do bars and I can ride down the car. I love it. Well, sometimes I guess they do, but not.

I can get up such a good pace, I can hit about 30 k's on it. If you get like, you know, Cool Runnings, the Jamaican bobsled team, I can get about 10 paces and just glide that thing all the way into the car and the thrill of not knowing if someone's going to reverse out and you're going to slam into them at a rate of knots. It's exhilarating. Well, I haven't, no, I haven't done that too often, but I'm glad that you do. It's a knife

edge though because you need your shopping to human weight ratio to be just right. I mean, it's You can go wrong at any moment. It can, so you need enough, you know, a lot of heavy frozen goods in there to counterbalance your weight. I do like doing, you know how they sometimes have those little trolley tunnels

that they go back into stack? I like from a distance seeing how long I can push it and see if it lands in, almost like a pool shot. Oh, that's a fun game. Obviously, you've got to be careful there's no cars around, but you're like, for 10 metres, can I get in? Do you land those? No, very rarely, but it's a fun little challenge.

Oh, these are just some things to make supermarket shopping more enjoyable. When I'm doing it, I'm like, I've got, I believe I can fly in my head. I tried to think of a better artist that I could pick, but there's no more appropriate song at that moment. R. Kelly's got his demons, but it's great for when I'm riding my supermarket trolley. Trolleys are an interesting one.

I think we've spoken about this before. You know, when you're pushing them outside of the supermarket, there's a distance, you know, that you can get to before people are like, well, hang on, you're taking that trolley or you just look- Before you look clinically insane. Or you look a little bit like, you know, you've got all your stuff in it and away you go. It's like, I believe it's like a 200 to 300 metre radius outside of the supermarket. If you're pushing a supermarket trolley beyond that-

Yeah. As soon as you can't see the countdown or the New World sign, you're like, okay. Maybe you shouldn't be pushing the trolley anymore. Are you a supermarket trolley rider, Juju? I used to be. When I was six. And then I realised that if I tried to ride it like you did, I could

just flip over. Dangerous game. Yeah. And they've put pedals on them now for that purpose. I'm imagining it's for that purpose. What? So you can just ride them. A countdown did. I had a the truth of it. And they've put pedals on them now for that purpose. Really? I'm imagining it's for that purpose. What? So you can just ride them. Oh, Countdown did. I had a couple of foot pedals.

I don't think they put them in. Oh, is that in Hortus 4? No, I don't think so. They're like, hey, you know, we need some foot pedals so we can ride these things around. Hell of a Christmas party at the supermarket that year. Has it ever gone wrong for you? Yeah, no, it has, yeah.

And it's embarrassing when it goes wrong. You shouldn't be doing it. You. You shouldn't be doing it. You know you shouldn't be doing it. You're no excuse. When it goes wrong, you're like, yeah, I was right at the trolley. So, yeah, just keep an eye out if you're shopping with me. I could come slamming into your Corolla. Not a morning person.

Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Right, now we're going to do this. Big news. Small town. And, of course, the bars and clubs around the country open up. You would have been at the clubs last weekend, Jono. Oh, I can't stay away from the clubs.

I'm a club rat. I go straight from the clubs to work on a Monday morning. I'm like, if you want me on the weekend, there's only one place you'll find me, it's in the clubs. No, no, that is true. But the clubs were open, that's the true thing. And in Marlborough and Blenheim in particular, they had basically people going to the clubs

like it was summertime. A huge weekend. Lines out the front. But it's not summertime. I know, but this is the clubs. The clubs were open again, mate, and people are back at the clubs. How busy were the clubs?

They were middle of summer peak busy. That's what they said. Oh, we're talking Jan, Feb. Yeah. You know when summer is. I don't need to reiterate that. Packed clubs, packed D floors. It was all on summer is. I don't need to reiterate that. Packed clubs, packed D floors. It was all on last weekend.

I don't know what they were dancing to. We'll find out, eh? Let's give one of those. Can I just say we've never sounded cooler? And they should send this off somewhere so we can get some good credibility with the millennials. Send that off to the Instagram or something. They'll love this.

To the Instagram. Yeah, I love it. All right, let's call our Blenheims Envy nightclub. Club Envy. Are we phoning a night. To the Instagram. Yeah, I love it. All right, let's call Blenheim's Envy nightclub. Club Envy. Are we phoning a nightclub in the morning? Yeah. And what are you

expecting from this? Doesn't the name suggest nightclub? Maybe people are still partying. Hello. No one is available to take your call.

Unless this is a human doing a convincing voicemail. Okay, well, let's keep pushing on the big news small town. The journalist just doesn't stop at the first port of call. Yeah, okay. Got another number here for someone in Blenheim. Another club.

Hello? Hello. Have we found the clubs? No, this isn't the clubs. No. I haven't rung a nightclub in Blenheim? A nightclub? No, is it?

No, no. Okay. What sort of club do you run? A very social one. A social club? Okay, that's good. We'll take any club in Blenheim. Yes.

Great. Okay, that's good. Whereas John and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. We heard there was a big weekend in Blenheim last weekend at the clubs, and we thought maybe you were there. No, no, I'm sorry, I wasn't. Okay. Can you pretend you were there for the news?

The clubs aren't even open. Well, they were last weekend. They had a big first weekend back, yeah. Oh, right. Oh, okay. First big weekend back, so you weren't there, but can you pretend you were there? Yeah, possibly.

Great. Can you just say, I was twerking on the dance floor. I was twerking on the dance floor. Yeah. Great stuff. I was getting my grind on. Can you say that one for us as well? No, I'm not going to say that. No.

Fair enough. Fair enough. I wouldn't either. It's getting hot in here. We all need to take off. No. No. Okay.

No. Actually, I'm on another phone call. So, yep. Okay. Thank you for talking to us On the radio We appreciate it It's okay bye Alright bye

There we go She gave us way too much time Way too much time So well done Blenheim Have another good weekend This weekend It's going to be The club's going to be pumping

Midsummer stuff They're telling us Oh Blenheim Get amongst it Like starting your day Without your morning coffee It's Jono and Ben on my hits Yes If a Kardashian's been injected Or infected Producer Juju Without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy. The WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz.

Yes, if a Kardashian's been injected or infected, producer Juju will be covering it. It's spy news. So, do you remember this wonderful woman here? I dreamed a dream in time gone by. The one and only Susan Boyle. Yeah. She is now on TikTok.

I thought she was dead. Well, so did everyone else. I don't know. She's just been MIA and now she's on TikTok and she's only posted one video of her doing a little dance with a couple of people on her lawn. And I'm just like, this is great. I want to see more Susan Boyle content

on TikTok. She was kind of like the people's champ of, was it X Factor or Britain's Got Talent or something like that? Britain's Got Talent, I think. And yeah, she really surprised the judges and everyone else because everyone kind of just took the mickey out of her. Oh, it was one of those champagne ones where you're like, oh, look at this one.

This is going to be a shocker. And then they flip it on its head and you're like, wow. I love those moments. That's why I tune into those shows. And you know they're coming too? Yeah. Sometimes you think they're going to be in there. Well, they've had to get to a stage where they trick you

because I'm always like, oh, they've gone to the effort to fly to goddamn Mississippi or somewhere and film something with this person. Surely they're getting through. But then now they don't always get through. It's to put you off the scent. It's very smart.

Yeah. What is Susan Boyle doing now? I don't know. Is she still performing? I have no idea. No follow-up questions. She's probably quite, she probably made a fortune.

Yeah, she probably did. I'd say so. But maybe TikTok's her new thing. Like Jason probably quite, she probably made a fortune. Yeah, she probably did. I'd say so. But maybe TikTok's her new thing. Like Jason Derulo, TikTok is his new thing. 23 million now. Yeah, wow.

So hopefully Susan. There's your daily Derulo TikTok follow-up update. Yeah, there's your update. But yeah, I love Susan Ball.

She looks like a lady you'd see down at the pub. Yeah, for sure. Making roast dinners, you know, when you buy a $10 roast meal from the pub. Playing the pokies in her brain. Yeah, she's. Making roast dinners, you know, when you buy a $10 roast meal for the pokies in a break.

Yeah, it's like, Rich, give me another Miami wine cooler. And in other news, Emma Watkins from The Wiggles, she revealed that she was self-isolating with her ex-husband, Lachlan Gillespie, also a Wiggle. And the reason for that, I was kind of like, oh, is this a Demi Moore,

Bruce Willis situation? But they've actually been in lockdown with the other wiggles as well so that they can release more music together. Oh my God. They must be leading

the most excruciating time. You know, I'm sure as a wiggle, you go to work nine to five. You do your skivvy business. You sing about red cars. You talk about washing your hands. Then you want to go home and just be... Eat your fruit salad by yourself.

Yeah, exactly. You want to go home and you chug a red car and eat for dinner. But not being able to escape that. I know. Imagine living in that world. I've been to a Wiggles show. That hour felt like nine. Well, because technically they're isolating with their colleagues.

So imagine if you guys were I mean you kind of basically at some point were in lockdown together well yeah true we kind of were part of that bubble you live together

basically see each other all the time yeah I know I know it's like the way and the tension is there too the sexual tension

like Lockie and Emma are they still together no they're broken up so that would make it even more awkward right yeah so I think they divorced a couple years ago so come on do what you have in there shoot shoot Chucky get your big lazy ass off the couch Lockie No, they've broken up. No. So that would make it even more awkward, right? Yeah. So I think they divorced a couple of years ago.

So, eee, go on, do what I have in there. Choo, choo, chugga, get your big lazy ass off the couch, Lockie. Imagine the passive-aggressive arguments they have. Oh, my God. And the other wiggles having to put up with that. I know they've got nicely through song form, probably. I imagine they'll be like, ooh, ooh. For more spot, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Start your day the wrong way.

It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. So we've taken to snooping through the Hits listener database. In a good way. Yeah, just to get some intel, getting some credit card details, so we can commit some online fraud. We're not skimming credit card details. Credit card skimming, yeah. No, but we thought it's Friday, and there's a lot of people that do some,

that help out the Hits behind the scenes. There's music research that goes on and people give up their time, which is amazing. And, yeah, more importantly, give up their credit card detail numbers, which we are very grateful for. It has purchased, Ben, a brand new car. What have you got, a Ferrari?

Yeah, I have, I have. You suit a Ferrari. Thank you, thank you very much. No, we have, in all seriousness, we've appreciated everyone that's taken part in the rate the hits, you know, when people choose the music, help us choose the everyone that's taken part in the rate that hits. You know, when people choose the music, help us choose the music that you want to listen to on the hits. And we found a little message today. Well, they choose an extraordinary amount of pink songs, don't they?

Well, they love pink. And so this is an attempt to make ourselves look like good human beings. Yeah, and also get into the weekend. You know, it's feeling good. It's Friday. We're going to reward someone who's put their name in details and helped out the hits through the database. We're going to call them right now. Her name is Victoria.

Hopefully she'll answer the phone. If she doesn't cry, she gets nothing. No, you can't. No cry, no nothing. The famous Bob Marley song. Hello? Hello, is that Victoria? Speaking.

Are you ready to cry? Yeah, I want uncontrollable, debilitating sobbing. Ignore her. Ignore her. Ignore him. Go away, Victoria. No, sorry. You've been putting me off my game.

Ignore Jono. Victoria, it's Jono and Ben calling from The Hits. Firstly, thank you for taking part in Rate The Hits. You're helping us choose the music. Hey, Victoria. We know you're working hard. And we're just reading, you wrote a comment when you rated the hits music online, and you said you hadn't been to the hairdressers for a while.

For a long time. Yeah, neither have I, Victoria. Yeah, but for different reasons. You've got no hair. Victoria, I'm sure you've... Nature and genetics are giving me a free haircut. So when was the last time you went to the hairdresser? I honestly can't remember.

We talked to the good people at Vivo here, and they want to give you a makeover to the value of $300, all right? Holy heck. Are you for real? Are you for real? Free haircut, free makeup, mate. No, we're not joking. This would be a sick joke if we were.

No, it's not. Part of me wants to say it's a joke. No, it's not a joke. would be a sick joke if we were. No, it's not. Part of me wants to say it's a joke. No, it's not a joke. You've got $300 you can spend. You can get whatever you want. Treat yourself because you deserve it. You're bringing up three kids. Obviously, it was difficult during lockdown from what we understand.

So go have a treat on us. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Oprah Winfrey. Oprah Winfrey, you need to go to the hospital, ask for a sanitised scalpel, cut open your chest, break open your sternum and eat your heart out

because that was wonderful stuff. You're on the air. Oh, you enjoy that. It's all thanks, as I said, to vivo.co.nz. You can find a salon near you. Proudly Kiwi-owned and operated with locations all over the country. And actually, they're doing a pretty cool thing with Laura on the 3 p.m. pickup as well.

They're going to have a chair, a special Vivo chair that people are going to get free haircuts as well. So it's an awesome thing. How's this place making money? Yeah, I know. It seems like a shocking business decision. It's a very kind business. Kind business, but not great for profits. Victoria, enjoy that haircut.

Thank you so much. Look after yourself. Have a good weekend. You too. Bye. Oh, there we haircut. Thank you so much. Look after yourself. Have a good weekend. You too. Bye. Oh, there we go. Leaving the show in a nice moment. You have yourself a wonderful weekend.

We'll catch you guys on Monday from 6 o'clock. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app.