Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - June 24 - The A To Z Of New Zealand, Jono's Voicemail Message, What Did You Flood?

Episode Date: June 24, 2020

Hello Podcasters! On today's episode we head to Bluff for The A to Z of New Zealand - Every day we call a different town/city across the country and we're only up to B... But we chat to the Green Wizard to hear about some of the amazing things Bluff has to offer! Jono also has a terrible answerphone that we need him to change, and we chat to someone who has spent the last 2 weeks in hotel quarantine after landing back in the country. ENJOY!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. On a Wednesday I've got a question for you today Jono. A question that my daughter's asked me last night and I thought it was a very good question. Yeah. Is it one of those, please don't tell me it's like a school question that's going to make me look like a fool. No, but it's, if you could only eat one food every meal, breakfast, lunch or dinner, for the rest of your life, you only had one food, what would that food be?

I was like, oh, that's a very good question. Can you have condiments with the food? Or you have to have the same type of, like if I chose potatoes. Okay, no, you can have condiments with the potatoes. Yeah, well, I'd go potatoes because I can turn it into mashed potatoes, French fries, baked potatoes, grilled potatoes. And then you're just having potatoes all day. Potato, I'd go potatoes because I can turn it into mashed potatoes, French fries, baked potatoes,

grilled potatoes. And then you're just having potatoes all day. Potato, grita... Tell that to the Irish, mate. That's what they lived off for decades. That was very good.

I really struggled. I struggled with it. I thought maybe like a soup because you could have various types of soup. What are you, like 85 years old? Don't have any use

of your teeth? Just slurping back on you. Well, you know, you can have a chicken soup, you can have a pumpkin soup, you can have a pumpkin soup, you can have various, you know, different types. You can have a hearty, meaty soup. You can mix it up a little bit.

But then I was like, oh, soup's a bit of a, I don't know if I want to get up in the morning and have soup for breakfast, you know? Well, I mean, does, you know, porridge, would that be considered a soup? Oh, yeah. Or is that a, yeah. It's Coco Pops, because it's all sitting in a bowl full of milk, is it soup? Eggs, yeah. Yeah. It's Coco Pops because it's all sitting in a bowl full of milk because it's soup.

Eggs. Eggs was another one. I thought maybe, maybe at a push you go to eggs for breakfast. It's a very good question. Yeah, that was a very good question too. Mate, I regret potatoes.

I would just be clogged up. Imagine how clogged up I would be. There you go. What food would you have for the rest of your life? Don't get in touch with us because this is the podcast but enjoy it all the same. Yeah, maybe you can have that conversation of your life? Don't get in touch with us because this is the podcast, but enjoy it all the same.

Yeah, maybe you can have that conversation amongst your friends and family now. Would you like us to pause so we have time for them to have the conversation? No, no, we might do this on the radio. We might not. But anyway, you think about that while you enjoy the podcast. Okay, so what have we got coming up in the podcast? I know you like to do a menu. Oh, okay.

Or have you wrapped it up? I've wrapped it up. Oh, you said enjoy the podcast and I keep going. Here you go. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

The A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling every town or city in New Zealand one a day. We're doing it alphabetically. It's going to take us over two years and

today, Bluff, the bottom of the South Island of New Zealand. Yeah, Bluff, previously known as Campbelltown and often referred to as the Bluff. Or the Pearl of the South, I was Zealand. Yeah, Bluff, previously known as Campbelltown and often referred to as The Bluff or The Pearl of the South

I was just reading. We know about Bluff oysters, we know about the Foveau Strait, the treacherous waters, we know about the signposts, the iconic signposts at the end of the country. Those things I do know. Yeah, well the locals will welcome you with open arms, just don't let them hug you because they have the power of a boa

constrictor. Squeeze the life out of you. Now we put it yesterday on our Facebook page to say who should we talk to in Bluff. There were two names that came through of people that they were recommended. The Bluff people. Marcus Lush a legendary broadcaster works out of Bluff and also the Green Wizard.

Now I hadn't heard of the Green Wizard until yesterday. We've got the number for him right now. There was a rumour that Marcus Lush purchased his house in Bluff with his EFTPOS card. The houses were so affordable in Bluff, you can just swipe your EFTPOS card. I wonder if the Green Wizard knows about that, because that's who we're calling. Is he Green Wizard for... I don't know. We'll find out.

For the giggle cabbage purpose or for... Or environmental. Top of the morning from the south. Top of the morning from the south. Top of the morning from the north. It's John O'Bien calling from the Hits radio station. I understand you're the Green Wizard. Yeah, hey, John, I used to claim to be a Green Wizard. No, we were just debating.

Is it Green Wizard because the laughing lawn clippings or the Green Wizard because of your environmental purpose? It's to do with the environment, mate. And I've been an environmentalist all my life. And then about 2012, I found that I had these wizardry, some wizard-like abilities to cast spells. So I decided to become a green wizard, and I've been one ever since. So you wear green robes? You've got a long, white, flowing beard?

Yes, that's me. You've got it. In fact, I heard you say pass down here the other day. I was just waking up in bed, and I looked on the phone, and I rushed down there, and you'd already taken off. Yeah, cardboard cutouts. in Bluff last week. You're right. You'd scurried north.

Never mind, but there's always next time. There is always. Now, Green, are you wearing robes every day? Is this your daily attire? No, no, no. Look, it's more for formal occasions usually these days. It's not too practical when you're out gardening. Or even just going to a supermarket, shopping,

or filling up the car or something. Well, sometimes I do, yes. Sometimes, but this time of year, I mean, like, you know, it was one degree this morning and it's sort of pumping up to four outside at the moment and the barmy acre of wood here. I love the fact, everyone we spoke to said you've got to talk to the green wizard, he's world famous in bluff and I love the fact that other wizards, you know, they may ride a dragon or a hawk but you drive an environmentally smart

car. That's it, I do indeed. I've got a smart car too. It's only got a couple of That's it. I do indeed. I've got a smart car too. It's only got a couple of mistakes in it. Now, Green Wizard, you said you can cast spells. What are some of these spells, and can you cast some here on top of my head? In fact, I've got my wand in my hand right now, and I can whiz a spell from up here, just like that. You just tell me what you want, and we'll have a crack at it.

Yeah, okay. Well, can you make Ben's body fully develop? And Jono's hair grow a little bit on his head. I'm going to do that now. I wish that Ben's body develops fully.

But it's going to take a little bit of time. Okay, great. Okay, well, it's taken a long time. You may like the cheese ad. Like the ad and the cheese. You're going to take time. Oh, well, it's taken a long time. If you don't like the cheese ad, like the ad and the cheese, you're on 20 to take time. Oh, the Green Wizard.

It's been lovely talking to you. Next time we're down in Bluff, we'd love to catch up with you. The Green Wizard of Bluff, the A to Z of New Zealand. Thank you for your time. See you out. See you out. Thank you. The Green Wizard, that was today's A to Z

tomorrow we go from Bluff to Brighton in Dunedin if you know someone or if you think you're the person to talk to or the business

in Brighton Lower South Island then 4487 on the text This is your new breakfast Health Star rating still pending

It's Jono and Mano Mahit Jono A bit nervous at the moment you've said you've got some audio that you'd like to show the jury. Now, this is from your phone. You used to talk about your phone before.

You've updated your phone. You're all bragging about your Apple update. And you were mocking me about my enormous text. Something you haven't updated is your message. Well, I'm guessing. I haven't actually heard it too many times because normally if you don't answer, I don't listen to the whole thing. But yesterday I tried. My voicemail message. Well, I'm guessing. I haven't actually heard it too many times because normally if you don't answer, I don't listen to the whole thing.

But yesterday I tried... My voicemail message. Yeah, I tried to call you and it got through the voicemail and I had to listen to it again. I was like, you know you can do this again, right? You know if it's not a good one,

you can have a take two. What's wrong with this? Well, listen to it. Hello? Sorry, I can't make it to the call. We'll listen to it. Hello. Sorry, I can't make it to the call. The phone, it's completely the message. I'll clear it and get back to you. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Thank you. Thank you. At the tone, record your message. So at first, it sounds like you're surprised that you're doing the message. You're a little, hello. And then midway through, there's obviously something going on. You're like, okay, I have two conversations. So something's obviously far more important than the phone message.

And then at the end, I don't know what was going on. I'd done no preparation for that content. Our boss would have a few things to say about that. He would. It's raw. It's real. It's effective. I've got a lot of stuff going on.

I'm doing a voicemail. The kids are over there. You can have a take two. Eh? You can have a take two. I don't want to do a take two. All I just figured, no one under the age of 50 is going to listen to this. And also, it's a voicemail.

Whatever you say before the beep is superfluous. Well, that's true. You know, words, words, words, beep. Everyone knows what to do from that point. You're right. You probably need a message. You just need probably a beep. I do actually remember recording it going,

I better get round to re-recording that, but I never got round to it. So it wasn't my to-do list. But no one else leaves voicemails on my phone apart from my mum, Annie. She's the only person who, every time I clear my voicemail, she's left like 30 voicemails.

Didn't we clear them the other day? Yeah, we did. This is a little baby of them. You have a message. Received 12th April at 9.35am. Hi, Jay. Happy Easter to all of you. You have a message.

Easter was a long time ago. Hi, just me. Wondering how you're getting on. You have a message. This was a long time ago. Hi, just me. Wondering how you're getting on. You have a message. Hello, just me. Just checking. Well, not checking. Just reinforcing my message this morning.

You have a message. Hello, obviously just me. Just checking in with you to see if you're affected by this craziness that's going on. You have a message. Hello, just me. I thought I'd just give you a call to say we're all right. Oh, good. That's it.

So I should just change my message to, Hi, Mum, sorry, can't talk. Leave a message, I'll get to it next year. Sometimes she even leaves a message going, I know you're not going to check this, but still leaves a message. That's me. I like the way she starts out. 4487, have you or someone you know

got a worse answer phone message than Jono's? Because I'd love to ring up and see if someone can beat that. How bad is my, like on a scale of those ones where it's like, hello, hello, nah, leave a message. They're pretty good. That'd be like a nine or a 10 out of 10. They get me every time.

There's no time that those haven't got me. So on a scale of that to mine, where am I sitting? You're at a 2 or 3. What is that? What is the hello, hello, hello one? That's like a 9 out of 10. That's a gag. Oh, well.

That's a gag. Yours is not a gag. Yours is just a fumbly attempt. Disorganisation. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're joined right now by the Deputy Prime Minister, Jono.

Winston Peters, welcome to the show. Good morning. Love talking to you, Winnie, and I've made your theme song, if you don't mind, Deputy Prime Minister. What's that?

Just another Winnie Wednesday. That sounds like Wellington. Well, that's a windy Wednesday, That sounds like Wellington. Well, that's a windy Wednesday, isn't it? Now, Winston, I wanted to ask you a quick question. Is your actual name spelt with a Y? W-Y-N-S-T-O-N. Winston, like that? There's two ways of spelling it.

Okay. Well, there is two. You're right I did read online I thought I'd done some research I had him with a hard-hitting question And he's telling me Yeah okay

Of course all my business is that easy Because I know you You opt for the WI Like the cigarette brand Ah yes that's right Nothing tastes good Like a Winston should Now we've got

Winston Peters with us here We're sending our cardboard cutouts around the country as a socially safe, responsible distancing tour, Deputy Prime Minister They're heading to Northland We know it's your town We had two questions, can they come and stay at your house with your wonderful white horse

and secondly, where should they go? What should they see in Northland? Well, it's a pretty big place. If you tell me where we're going to go, Monganui, Hokianga, Kaitaia, or Bear Valens, I'll be able to tell you. I think they're going to Whangarei. Oh, they're going to Whangarei?

Yeah. Well, Whangarei is great, but they going to Whangarei? Yeah. Well, Whangarei's great, but they need to get up further to see the coast. Oh, send them up near the Cape? Yeah. Can they come and see your lovely white horse, Winston

Peters? Yeah, they've got a couple of bags of cows, they can come, yeah. Now, Winston Peters, there's a rumour going around that a homeless person managed to sneak into a hotel during quarantine. The National Party are saying it's true. Labour are saying it's not.

Do you have any information on that? Well, actually, it's quite a fascinating story, you know, but if it is true, then the National Party owes the, well, the information to the officials because someone's just ripped off the system for two weeks. And if they think that's a great joke, then it's a funny sort of idea of the

National Party, isn't it? Usually they can't wait to pounce on some poor homeless guy. Who's the National Party? That's right. In this case, they think they've got a great story. So the answer is, come on, guys. If you think it's a

joke, that's fine. But you don't think it's a joke when other people who are making reasonable requests ask for something. But in this case, you think because it's political advantage, that's funny. However, I think that might be, as Ashley Br Bloomfield said

an urban myth and one of their better ones It's a great story if it is and fair play to the homeless man too that's shown some great initiative If it is true Now Winston Now Winston

you've done a great job helping sort out the country for many years. Can you help me sort out the Warriors' league side, Winston? Because, you know, obviously there's some things going on there and I'm a big fan. Well, look, I hate to say anything about that because everybody's an expert, an armchair expert at that. But they put on such a magnificent performance in their North Queensland. Yeah. And then they go out the next week and I thought, what's wrong?

Did somebody drug Queensland. Yeah. And then they go out the next week and I thought, what's wrong? Did somebody drug them? Yeah. It wasn't a great performance and then the coaches got it. It's a brutal game. Politics and sport. It's brutal. Well,

as a fundamental rule in rugby league, you've got to tackle. That's one of the things that's part of the game. If you don't tackle, it's good night news. Winston Peters,

Deputy Prime Minister, thank you so much for your time. We're going to send the cutouts over with a bag of carrots. Feed the white horse. You go and have a wonderful Wednesday because it's been just another winny Wednesday. Sing along, Winston.

It's not going to take off. You've got to find a new song, guys. Find a new song. Winston, have a great day. Okay, cheers. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Producer Juliet, next you want to share a story, something that took place in your flat.

Yes, so my flatmate, she, after a night of partying on every Saturday night, she likes to have a shower before she goes to sleep to make herself feel clean. That's generally what showers do. Yes. They do a good job of that. And so before she goes to sleep, she has a shower job of that. And so Wolf of Shireen goes to sleep. She has a shower, but it led to a bit of a situation regarding flooding.

Okay. So this is what we want from you right now on 0800 The Hits. 4487 is the text. What have you flooded? Someone's just texted saying, last time I saw Ben in person. He was so handsome. He damn near flooded my basement, if you know what I mean. Oh, wow.

What does that mean? I you know what I mean. Oh, wow. What does that mean? I now know what it means. I know, I put some socks in the tub and I forgot what I was running the tub in. Damn it. The basement was flooded. Why are you going around doing people's washing? You're like the nappy sand guy who knocks on doors. Doorstep challenge.

They always edit out the bits of the people who slam their door in his face. Get lost, nappy sand guy. They're bright pink colours. I don't have time for this. But anyway, Producer Juliet, you've got a great story from your flat. Yes, so on the weekend. Jeez, this flat provides a lot of content for this show.

Honestly, the stuff we get up to, it's quite interesting. So on the weekend, we had a bit of a party. And my flatmate, she always, every time we go out to town on a Saturday night, she likes to come home and have a shower once she gets home because she likes the feeling of waking up, even though she's a bit dusty. She's clean. Yeah, okay. And so she got in the shower and Ben, our flatmate who shares a bathroom with her,

just heard it keep running and running and running and running. Long story short, she'd got in the shower. She was still obviously a bit tipsy, a bit drunk, and sat on the ground, blocked the drain, flooded the bathroom, and then flooded the whole downstairs. And then the next day, we had a new flatmate moving in, and he hadn't really met her.

He'd met us a couple of times before. He's like, what is going on? So we were all just manically just getting so many towels. It was just horrendous and now there's marks on the doors because of the flooding. It was a new water feature. You've got a solar system. We've got an indoor pool in this place. Yeah, true. I sat down

in the shower the other day just to give it a go. It's an odd sensation. Have you ever sat down in the shower? Yeah, now and again. If anyone walks in on you, you've got a lot of explaining to do. It is an odd sensation. It's quite fun. Have you ever sat down on the shower? Yeah, now and again. If anyone walks in on you, you've got a lot of explaining to do. Yeah. It's an odd thing. You're like, whoo, here I go, sit down. So every time I hear stories about your flat, I'm like,

jeez, it should be the setting for a public service advisory commercial. You know, for the fire service and things like that. Before that, she put a roast in the oven, put it on 220 high at 3 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, pretty much. So what have you flooded? 0800, that hits the telephone number. Let's head to Kaipoi. Ellen, put it on 220 high at 3 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, pretty much. So what have you flooded 0800 that hits the telephone number? Let's head to Kaipoi. Alan, you're on New Zealand's Breakfast.

What happened? Yeah, it was towards the end of winter, and we'd been inside for most of the winter, and we thought we'd take our four-year-old boy for a drive down to the Womack. And we ended up going through this puddle and a bit of a splash up. It was quite cool. The boy loved it. So we saw another puddle.

So I thought I'd go through a bit faster to make the splash a bit higher. You're like, the crowd's loving this. I'll back it up. I'll double down on my puddle. Yeah. And anyway, it was probably about three quarters the height for the car. Poor drive vehicle. The four-wheel drive stalled.

The water started rushing through the doors. The missus was walking off with the wee boy, just walked away. The worst part about it was I had to use the four-wheel drive for work, and every morning when I went out, there was more ice on the inside than there was on the outside. Oh, because it was all wet, of course. It would have frozen overnight. What do you do?

Do you just open the doors and let it just pour out? Well, this guy came along luckily and towed me out. And I managed to start it up again. And, yeah, the seats were wet. The interior was wet. It was a nightmare. That's an original creative carpool karaoke there, I think, right there. Thanks for your call

Alan appreciate it mate no problem a friend of mine was running a concert and obviously there was a lot of truck drivers

and stuff bringing stuff to the venue and one of the guys he'd dropped it off he'd obviously had a long day

went back to the hotel was on the top floor of a three storey hotel turned on the bath fell was on the top floor of a three-story hotel, turned on the bath, fell asleep on his bed. The bath just kept running. He literally flooded all three levels of the hotel. Wow, goodness.

And it was like pouring through people's roofs. It was everywhere. And I don't even know if his insurance covered it because I think they fell under the... Oh, really? Yeah. A lot of water damage to the the... Oh, really? Yeah. A lot of water damage to the hotel. 0800 the hits.

What have you flooded? Tricia, welcome. Oh, sorry, Steph. Oh, sorry, where am I going? Steph or Tricia? We'll go Steph. Oh, Steph, welcome. How are you?

Oh, good, thank you. Welcome to the show. What did you flood? So when I was 15, it was always my desire to be a hairdresser and I was very very lucky to be given a week's trial at a very swanky hair salon in Auckland City in an arcade shop upstairs with another arcade

bit underneath and on about my second day I was washing dishes as you do as a hairdressing apprentice and one of the senior hairdressers came in and asked me to go and wash somebody's rinse out. And I was obviously very anxious to please and raced off to do this, leaving the tap on. And as I was rinsing this lady's hair out, she came back and said, were you doing anything before this?

And I was trying to think and I was just nervous as anything. And then she reminded me that I had left the tap on and it had flooded through the floor to a very, very expensive shoe shop underneath. It was a while ago now, but I think I remember Just grabbing my bag And leaving You're just going I'm out I've got nothing else I'm coming back And I'm not a hairdresser Oh such a great call That happened to a guy

Who we used to work with At our old place Crashed the car Three times in one week And he just walked out He's like I'm done I'm done

He just didn't turn up He just left it at the car park Running He's like There's no coming back from this Oh such a great call Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. In the weekend, one of my daughters, Sienna, had a friend's birthday party. And she was very excited about going. And as we've talked about a couple of times on this radio show already, it was one of these last minute information passing on from her to me that occurred.

Yeah, I mean, kids, if you're listening, pick up your comms game. Yeah. Your communication is shoddy at best, you know? You need to, it's life. You need to prepare for things. Yeah, exactly. You need to know about things.

You need to know what's coming. Can't just whimsically wander through life just going, oh, I've got to do this in 10 minutes. No, it works. That's right. No, it all works. So I knew about the party, but I didn't know that it was a costume, a dress-up

party. Yeah, right. And she told me this on Sunday morning. She's like, it's a zombie party. Everyone's coming in zombies and it's all spooky and stuff. I'm like, oh, okay, well, I didn't know about this. You know, it is quite intensive because I know you're a costume guy, you like a costume and you'd like to do it properly. So we had a look around at home. We're like,

we haven't got time to go anywhere else and we found an old princess dress of hers and we're like, oh, maybe we can tatter that up a bit and go as a zombie princess. We're like, we haven't got time to go anywhere else. And we found an old princess dress of hers. And we're like, oh, maybe we can tatter that up a bit and go as a zombie princess. You know, so we'll make her hair really messy

and we'll like put some, you know, dark lines under her eyes to make her look like she hasn't slept. But blood, we found a blood capsule coming out of her mouth. You're basically dressing your daughter up like a meth head.

Yeah. Or she'd had a big night out in Hamilton or something like that. So I turned up, I took her down to this party with her friends. Turned up there, walked around the corner of the party. No one else is dressed up. Oh.

Like, no one. Like, not at all. Like, I don't know where she got that it was a zombie party. So maybe the memo, missed something in the memo. But it was one of those. Again, the kids' comms game is off. Yeah. Something wasn't passed over on the playground.

I could tell where the other parents are looking like, what was going on there? Where has his daughter been last night? I'm walking around the corner like, G'day guys. And I had a little talk to see, you know, I sort of sat down.

I was like, what do you want to do? What do you want to do? You know, no one's dressed up. What do you want to do? And to her credit, she was like,

I'm all good. I'll just roll with that. Cause I was like, I can take you home now. We can wash your, you know, get, you know.

So she spent the next three or four hours at this party I left her there looking like I don't know like you said like she'd been having a three day bender

isn't that the beautiful thing though she goes zero yeah I thought that was pretty cool as a kid you're like it didn't matter

our friend someone we knew went to that barbie oh that's right she thought it was a barbie a friend of ours thought so it was like someone was getting married a friend was getting married she was like oh it's a barber. A friend of ours thought, so it was like someone was getting married.

A friend was getting married. She was like, oh, it's a Barbie party, you know? And she's like, great, great theme. And she dressed like Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde. She had a blonde wig. She had like a push-up bra. She had high heels, little dress. She even had a sash she got as well.

She's like, I'm looking the best for this Barbie party. Walked around the corner and it was a barbecue. It was just a Barbie. The other option was she got dressed up as a four burner gas barbecue. Might have been more appropriate. Everyone else is just like in casual like jandals and like shorts and some of that.

Why have you come over the top? Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy. No what's up? Spy.co.nz Alright, it's Jolly and Ben on the hits. Spy. No, what's up? Spy.co.nz. All right, it's time for some spy entertainment news. If there's a celebrity off to rehab or drunkenly eating a kebab, Juliet will have the filth.

What's going on? Thank you. So the Black Eyed Peas have talked about why Fergie left the band a few years ago, and the reason was because she wanted to focus on being a great mum, which is very fair enough, I'd say. Yeah, I mean, that's the most important job in the world, isn't it? Shout out to all the mums out there. They do good work.

Jennifer, my wife, is doing far better work at parenting than I am. I don't know if that comes as a surprise. Well, yesterday we were talking about microwaving Kranskis. Yeah, my dad meals. I put Kranskis in the microwave for 57 seconds and Ben laughed at me. I did? Yeah, he mocked me. He mocked me.

Cooking shamed me, but anyway. Damn. It is the most important job in the world. It is. It is. She spent a lot of time concentrating on being a mum, but in the meantime wasn't concentrating so hard on her singing talents. Remember when she sang the national anthem at the NBA All-Stars game?

Oh, Fergie, that's right. She gave it. She tried to make it her own version, right? The main thing is she's a good mum, though. Oh, I love that version, too. She was like, afterwards, she was like, hey, I gave it a crack. Didn't work, but I gave it a crack.

It seems like she was just making it up as she went along. I think so. The video's hilarious because all the NBA players are like, I try not to laugh and stuff. And Jurassic World Dominion, that set will now feature a drive-through COVID-19 facility. So everyone from the runners of the set to the actors and the directors will have to go through it before they enter set. And it's basically just to test if you've got symptoms.

Anyone with symptoms is not allowed through. And they think that might be the future of films, having like a little drive-through coronavirus testing thing. That makes sense. It must be costing a fortune for companies to become coronavirus ready, COVID ready. You know, I was talking to a guy yesterday. He's like, my company spends so much on masks and gloves and sanitiser

and signs and social distancing stuff. It would be costing a fortune. Totally. Yeah, the Jurassic World though, I know Sam Neill when we spoke to him. That's right. He's in the new movie. He was quite concerned about social distancing, in particular

one part of the film crew. Most of the animatronic dinosaurs take about 20 people to run them and they're all you know nerds around a little machine those nerds will need to be well mastered so a lot of a lot of thought spirit spirit thought for the nerds out there who are doing it hard inside the dinosaur costumes Let's hope they're not spreading coronavirus Coronavirus

For more spy you can head to the hits.co.nz It's like bullying Sam Neill You would never expect Sam Neill to say the word nerd We apologise in advance It's Jono and Ben on the hits A lot of chat about hotels at the moment And people who have come back from overseas, many of them New Zealanders,

in this COVID environment, they have to be quarantined for two weeks. Some prices advertising for some hotels out there, aren't there? Well, some, some. Stop saying my name. Stop saying our hotel name. I know, but you're integrated into the news.

You can't even pay for that sort of stuff. But then at the same time, that's probably the only way that hotels are getting a lot of business. And afterwards, come and stay in our quarantine penthouse suite. They must seem to go and infumigate them afterwards. Yeah, they probably had to wipe them down very well.

But what is it like to be quarantined in a hotel for two weeks? We wondered that. So we spoke to Sam, who joins us right now. Are you still in quarantine, Sam? I am indeed. Last day today.

Oh my God. Oh, so is it 14 days total that you have to do? Yeah, 14 days. But in fairness, I think because I walked into Heathrow alone and then I've had a night in Sydney over it, it's actually been like 17 days in total. Gee whiz. Is it a long time in the same room for 14 days? You have no idea. And so what time do you get released today? 305, which is super specific. Yeah, it is.

And it's exactly 14 days from when I touched down in the country. Oh, so you landed at 5 past 3 two weeks ago? Yeah. Oh, right. So what are you allowed to do during the day? Are you allowed out at all? And if you are, is it supervised? Well, what's weird, I think from the learning through this whole thing and reading all the other reports and stuff,

I feel like different hotels have different allowances of what you're allowed to do. So I've been in Ridges this whole time on Federal Street. And you can go out and supervise visits and things of like five people, but it's this like barricaded area down on Queen's Wharf and you take a bus to get there and it's super depressing. It's kind of like you're in prison really, isn't it? It actually is. Minus all the

shankings. Exactly. And the scary showers. Are you allowed to go to like the hotel gym? Nah, definitely not. Any like common areas like pools or any of the fun stuff that's usually in a hotel is gone. Like caution police tape across them and stuff. Oh, really?

So you're just in your room your whole time? So what happens with meals? They just knock on the door and leave it outside, that sort of thing? Yeah, and you have to wait like a minute before you can open the door so you don't come in contact with the person that's dropping it off. And so do you have to keep your own room clean or do the cleaners come in? No, you keep your own room clean. You can put linens outside to get replaced, which is quite good.

But it's super weird because you just feel like you don't speak to anyone. You're just entirely inside. Oh, so you have to put the sheets on the bed and do all that yourself? Yeah, all the lush hotel stuff is gone. Oh, really? Wow. What about the boomers on the radio? They're getting upset. There's not enough

testing going on. Are you getting tested for COVID? Has that happened? I have been tested for COVID and I don't want it ever again. It's a very invasive, very gross test. Stick up your nose, don't you? It's like a cotton bud, like a long cotton bud, right? Yeah, it feels like a pipe cleaner on the end though, you know,

like kind of fuzzy wire. It's awful and it feels like it's deep in your brain. I hear you think it's going to stop, and it doesn't stop. They keep going. Yeah, that's pretty much it. And the girl who did it to me is way shorter than me, so she was, like, reaching up quite a lot. It was just weird. She was directly under your nostrils, just firing.

She was shooting into your— Like a chimney sweep or something, Joey. Wow. All of a twist. So security, obviously, quite tight where you are, and I guess it's for a good thing, though, right? Yeah, for sure. It's been horrible in the way that you're alone

and you have a chance to think about every poor decision you've ever made in your life. You've really questioned your worth as a human being over the last two weeks. You have those days where you just want to cry for no reason, and then you have days when you're weirdly ecstatic. It's super random. But the security here has been amazing,

and there's also been a couple of really dreamy ones, which have been quite handy. Yeah, I'll put those in there for you, Sam. Oh, thanks. I knew you had my back. They're actually male strippers, and they'll do a performance for you at 3.05 this afternoon. But from a safe distance. It's awesome that they can use that uniform for so many things.

They've actually got don't trust their trousers, they're Velcro. They come off very easy. Now, Sam, do you get to fraternise with the other, what would you say, the other people? The other people at the hotel in quarantine. You do not, which is a shame because my sister was convinced I'd meet my husband in here. Do you talk to the person through the wall next door? No, they're surprisingly soundproof. I was actually a bit worried about that. So no WhatsApp

group or anything like that? No COVID? No. No, nothing? Okay. So what do you do to fill the day? Are you allowed movies or anything like that at the hotel or are you just pretty much internet and whatever? Movies doesn't come for free, but the Wi-Fi has been free, which has been a godsend. Oh, that's good.

And so can you order whatever food you want from the menu or there's a specific? No, it's a set menu. Oh my God, I'll send you some photos. It's intense. Yeah, you can order more stuff if you want, like chocolate and everything, but it's got the classic mini bar markup,

so I was trying to be good and not... Oh, you'd have to pay for that I'm guessing. Yeah. Gotcha. You'd get a mini pack of Pringles for $98 or something. Yeah. One a day. That's really fascinating. Well thank you very much for talking to us about that Sam.

No worries. I'm excited. What's the first thing you're going to do at 5 past 3 this afternoon? I'm going to have a glass of Craigie Range Syrah. She's been thinking about that for two weeks. She's mapped out the next 24 hours. I imagine it would be so long. Imagine what you get up to in two weeks.

And these people are in the same room. Very interesting chat there. Thank you for your time there, Sam. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Our cardboard cutouts have made their way from Bluff, thanks to your help, all the way up north to Whangarei. And if you get a photo with them or help transport them,

you can be eligible for $5,000. Just hashtag Jono and Ben 5K cutouts. Northland, stunning, stunning part of the country. Some would say the sexiest part of the North Island. They're like the Northlanders to the North Island, what Ben's legs are to this radio show. Your well-crafted legs. Skinny and...

Yeah, those little sex sticks. I like to call them fragile. But we did bring Northland and find how excited they were. Our cardboard cutouts are coming. The Jono and Ben 5K Cutout Tour is on. This is a story of heroes like Ashley, who bravely started the tour in Bluff. Bloody dark and windy and very lonely.

Heroes like Anne, who provided accommodation for the cutouts. You may have to hand bathe us. Bravely adjusting her cost pricing. The me being extra charged for that. Felix and Christchurch accepted the burden. Carry round cutouts of washed up schmucks. Her bravery was her silence, so the truth could be heard. You could go, no, you're not washed up.

And when the cutouts were kidnapped. I'm taking the cutout today. This demand was made. To get me a personalised video message from Jacinda Ardern. And Jacinda Ardern herself answered the call. Happy birthday, Daryl the truck driver. You've saved us, Jacinda. You have.

We salute these heroes, their strength, their courage, their efforts, while these two guys just sit on their backsides in an air-conditioned studio. Sucking on our soy lattes. Grab a selfie and you're in the draw for $5,000. Today in Northland, the Jono and Ben 5K cut-out tour continues. It's very exciting as they make their way around the country. Will they come back here to the studio? Will we give away $5,000?

Well, let's head to Northland right now. Dylan from the Hits in Northland, welcome. I'll tell you what, you might not be Richard, but Whangarei is bloody excited to have your cardboard cutout up here. Oh, it's a pleasure to be there in cardboard cutout form. Socially safe distancing tour. You're going to be taking them around Whangarei today, Dylan? Yeah, of course, of course.

We're currently in Cameron Street, Laemae, right now. We are going to try and get around, we're going to try and hunt down Woody Peters' house. Hopefully we can get in there. I heard you guys have a little conversation with him this morning. We did ask, we asked Winston if, because there was that news story of Winston during lockdown with his beautiful white horse,

which looked like it had galloped straight out of a Disney movie. That reminds me of what I imagine he looked like when Vladimir Putin rode that horse. Exactly. And we said, can the cutouts get a photo with your horse? And he said this, they're heading to Northland. We know it's your town. Can they come and see your lovely white horse,

Winston Peters? Yeah, they'll bring a couple of bags of carrots. They can come, yeah. So you need some carrots, though. A couple of bags of carrots. Yeah, that's the way. That's the way. The common theme for this car will cut out

to a theme for rain and wind because I'm sure we're in the middle of a storm up here in Northland at the moment. So you guys have really brought the weather with you. Oh, good. I thought the common theme would be no one turning up to get photos with them. That too.

But if you do get a photo, go and catch up with Dylan today. $5,000 could be all yours if they are transported safely back to the Hits studio and that's all in your hands. The responsibility is yours, Altaroa. Hey, thank you very much, Dylan. You have a great day, mate. All good, boys. Low in calories and low in laughs.

It's Jono and Ben on my hits. This is a fun game. Synchronise answers. Fun game I forgot we had an intro for, clearly. Synchronise answering where producer Juliet throws out a category. Ben and myself have to try and get the same answer at the same time in order to steal the prize off you. That's right.

So, producer Juliet, you got your questions? Who are we playing for? What's the prize? Let's see. Well, today, what are we playing for? We're playing for tickets to Reading Cinemas. Shirley from Cambridge, welcome to the show, Shirl. Thank you very much.

You sound like a wonderful New Zealander. I'm an old one. How old are you, Shirl? 77. Oh, my gosh. Why are you listening to us? As much as I love it, why are you, Shirl? 77. Oh, my gosh. Why are you listening to us? As much as I love it, why are you listening to us? Because I enjoy it.

Oh, bloody good. I appreciate it. We enjoy you, Shirley. What's the darkest thing you've done in your life? Got married too early. Got married too early. Okay. Some marriage counselling now.

We're not going to do the game. It's turned to marriage counselling for Shirley. You're awesome. Okay. not going to do the game. It's turned to marriage counselling for Shirley. You're awesome. Okay. That prize is yours. The movie tickets are yours. Unless Jono and I synchronise an answer,

then we take it off. Yeah, we can't take it off, Shirley. No, we can't. We're trying to sync up like flatmates sync up their body clocks. All right. Here we go. First category. Here we go, Shil.

Name for me a Harry Potter character. Harry Potter. Why would you go Ron Weasley? Because I'm trying to help Shirley out there. Harry Potter. Why would you go Ron Weasley? Because I'm trying to help Shirley out there. I know, he's on purpose. He's trying to do the wrong answer. Well done. You've still got those tickets, Shirley.

We haven't taken them yet. Okay. All right, name for me an organ of the body. Heart. Kidney. Nice. Heart was the obvious one, eh? I know, and you were trying to. I'm trying not to get the obvious one.

I like Shirley. I want her to win the ticket. Shirley, you've got a gold card. You get to go to the movies cheap anyway, mate. Yeah. All right. Name for me a rugby player. Zin Zan Brock.

Dan Carter. Zin Zan Brock. Zin Zan Brock. Yeah, he's a great remember. He's gone back to mid-90s rugby just so Shirley holds on to these movie tickets. Let's do one more. Okay, one more. Let's go.

Name for me a US state. California. All right. Shirley. Yeah. Ben has sabotaged the game purely so he can hold on to the tickets. He didn't play properly. We both tried to sync up.

That's what we try and do. But he loves you so much that you're going to go to the movies, sure. Oh, thank you very much. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Scrolling through your feed. This is looking at the news stories. We do a light dusting

of the news like a lazy cleaner. Yeah, and apparently women aren't washing their bras enough. This is a story that's going around on the internet right now. It says women should be washing their bras every one to two days or at least airing them on the clothesline in sunlight. But it's not something that's

generally done by the masses. No, well I find that I probably wash my months a week, and that's probably quite common, but then I know people who have done it don't wash it for way longer than that. What, like weeks on end? Yeah. Does it? No, it doesn't really get dirty. Or sweaty?

No, because if you're going to get sweaty, you're usually in sports gear and wearing a sports bra. Right. So your normal day-to-day bras don't often get too dirty. It's a placeholder. Yeah. It's a placeholder. It's not causing any offence.

How often do you wash your underpants, Pete? Daily. Daily? Oh, okay. I wouldn't go a day without it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're me too. You're like, you don't know the answer.

Don't you hate it when you're asking a question and then everyone's against what you actually do? Oh, yeah, that's exactly what I thought. I know my wife has a special bag that she puts her bras in. I have to put those in when I wash them in the thing. Yeah, yeah, so that stops them. And it's also, when you're washing bras, it's good to clip them together at the back when you put them in the washing machine as well

so that they don't, the little hook doesn't catch on other items in the washing machine and tear it. Oh, I didn't know that. When I'm folding, because I'm the folder in the house, I don't even know how to fold the bra. Do you just slap it in half? Really depends. Tuck it in?

I end up scrunching it. It depends on how the person likes it folded. You can just lie it flat or you can kind of twist it around so that they're like sort of cut together. I don't know. Not cheap. Not cheap bras, are they? No, no. What are we looking at?

$60? Yeah, $50, $60 if you want a good one. How long do you get out of them? Oh, a couple of years. Do you? Yeah. Well, it $60 if you want a good one. How long do you get out of them? Oh, a couple of years. Do you? Yeah. Well, it depends how many you have,

how many you go through. And how often you wash them. Yeah, exactly. Honestly, do you sleep in your underpants that you've worn all day? No. Neither.

Neither, me neither. I don't do that either. Well, you can if you want. I'm not the boss of you. No, but yeah. No, I don't do it. So why are you asking me if I do it?

And also, another news this morning, a world number one tennis player, Novak Djokovic, he's tested positive for coronavirus. Now, he put on a tennis tournament in Serbia and Croatia, his hometown, and basically to unite people, raise the much-needed funds. Unfortunately, four players have now tested positive for that tournament.

What was he thinking was going to happen? Novak Dikovic. All the players were like, what are you doing? A lot of people were like, this is the silliest idea in the world. Yeah, because it sounded like there was social distancing. I mean, his heart was in the right place, but I think at the same time,

it probably should have tried to bring people together. No. At a time where coronavirus is going on. Rife in Europe. Remember we went to the ASB tennis in Auckland and we were talking to one of the guys there, remember? And he said his job was to help drug test the tennis players and he had to watch the male tennis players while they pee

just to make sure it was actual pee going into the... Yeah. Because sometimes they use fake appendages, don't they? Yeah. To make it look like. Yeah. So they have the real one tucked away

and then they pull that one out and everyone's like, oh, well that's happening. Or they could just squirt something out of like a goon sack of wine or something if you're not looking,

you know? So he has to have his eyeballs on the balls. Yeah. That was his thing. That was his like technical official job was to actually watch

what they were doing to make sure. Are you wearing, you'd have to have rubber gloves on or something because you'd take the jar and it would be all, you know,

aim is, but you'd have to be precise wouldn't you? I'd say so. Have you ever been drug tested? No. No. No,

but I've peed into cups before for, you know, Have you? Yeah. What for? Like when you get tested, you know, like the doctors,

like when you're medical stuff. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I've done that. And just for my own, you know. That's what he likes doing, yeah, yeah. I've done that. And just for my own, you know. That's what he likes doing at home.

He likes pranking his family. And that is what's happening in the world. Well, some of the things anyway. Some of the things that we found interesting over the last 24 hours. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jingle bells. We phone businesses and see how well they know their jingles.

Ben, you dipped your toe into the jingle pool for a while there. You were writing radio jingles. I did write some radio ads for a while. What makes a good jingle? Just the catchiness. If you find yourself singing it, then you're like, oh, it's a good jingle. Is that the theory behind it, that it's like an earworm and it gets stuck in people's heads so when they think of a service they need

is that the thought process? Yeah, or you're going around singing something like that but it's not as easy, I'm not saying I was very good at it because jingles wasn't really my thing but there's people that were really good at it but it's not as easy as it sounds it's like writing a catchy pop song to a lesser extent, everyone wants

to do it but you can't always nail it So every time I think of meat I'm like you just can't beat't always nail it. So every time I think of meat, I'm like, you just can't beat the Mad Butcher's Meat. Every time I think of glass windscreens, I'm like, oh, show me a crack in your butt. Show you a crack something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the ballpark.

You actually wrote that one. I did. That was one of the few jingles I wrote. But yeah, okay, so they are popular. They get stuck in your head. But do they get stuck in the employees' heads of these businesses? This is what we test. Yeah, and today, Jenny and Home is one of our favourite jingles.

Have they around? Yep. Without your own, a Jenny and Home. Oh, lovely. That was a real heartfelt one. I love that one. And we want to see what... Who ends up singing the jingles?

Are they failed pop stars? Well, proper singers, you know, people that you can sing. Not me. Definitely not me. You did the Novus. Oh, Novus. Yeah, but that was like a talky sing-along

when it wasn't a proper singing one. That was within your wheelhouse. Yeah. So let's ring Jenny and Holmes right now

and see if they know their own jingle. Jenny and Holmes Wellington, Helene speaking. Oh, I have a good feeling about Helene. Do you have a good feeling about Helene?

I do. It's John Owen Ben calling from the Hits radio station. How's it going, Helene? Don't be nervous, Helene. It's not the Inland Revenue calling. John Owen Ben from the Hits radio station. Yeah. Are you pulling one leg?

No. Listen. We wish you were someone better and more impressive, but we're just us. Have I won something? Well, you have won something. You've won an audit from the Inland Revenue. An audit from the Inland Revenue.

Yeah. It's a bit of a comical sting. Super. They get us to do it. They get us to break the ice, and then they sweep on it. And then they'll come in and hit you with some hard-hitting questions. So now we welcome Derek. Derek from the Inland Revenue to really deep dive into your accounts.

No, we're just calling up because we wanted to see if businesses know their own jingles. And we love your jingle at Jenny and Holmes. Well, since you think we're so awesome, I've put you on speaker in the office. Oh, who's there in the office? Richard. Richard's there. in the office? Richard. Richard's there. G'day, Richard. Richard's our general manager.

Oh, we've got all your favourites. We've got Richard. We've got Maria. Oh, Maria's there too. How's Maria been? How are the kids, Maria? I haven't seen Maria in years. You've never seen her.

We must catch up for a big bowl of latte. You guys are very confused why we're calling, but we do love your jingle. We love Jenny and Holmes' jingle, so we thought we'd like to sing it with you right now. Don't even know it. I'll play it down to you, and we want the team from Jenny and Holmes in Wellington to pick up the

back end of the jingle, okay? Otherwise, we send Derek in with his calculator to investigate yeah there's nothing going on here we go we're proud of our country yeah mountains and streams we're proud of our culture one nation one team sing it Jenny oh it's a long version now I'm going to stop it here. Here's where it goes big and here's where Jenny-an comes in, okay?

Here we go. Are you ready? Yeah, we're ready. Okay. This is where we want Soleil Mio. Think Soleil Mio. Here we go. We're proud to own our Jenny-an homes.

We're proud to own our Jenny-an homes. I can't hear you. You're doing such a great job. We're proud to own a Jenny in Holmes. Sing it. Proud to... Or not. Oh, we're all shy here.

No, we're not. That's fine. You guys have a lovely jingle and you have a lovely day. Congratulations on winning a free plug. Take us out with a we're proudoud to Own a Jenny in Homes. We're proud to own a Jenny in Homes. Bring it on, Helene. We're proud to own a Jenny in Homes.

Come on, Helene. No. Fair enough. All right. You're doing great all by yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love your work, Helene. You have a great day.

You too. All the love, mate. Next on the show, I want to tell you about something I'm refusing to do at night. And I think many, many people out there would be doing this. And I won't do it.

Sleep? Yeah, probably that as well. You always come in, you're like, I got no sleep last night. Yeah, probably that too. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads.

I like pineapple on pizza. I like the ads that pop up on YouTube. Kiwi onion dip tastes like crap. Controversial call-outs. This is where Jono and I both say something that could be deemed to be controversial, and we throw it out there. Today you're going to cover off your pro stance on pay equality and how you think women should be paid 20% less, Bill.

Are you going to tick that one off? No, you always do. Juju, he thinks you should be on 20% less. Oh, cool. No, you don't. You always throw these on me. It's not the case. He doesn't. It's 30% less. No, not at all.

I don't know why I go along with your crappy gags. But I like it that you do. I just get a barrage of things that aren't true thrown at me. It makes for a fun morning. So, controversial call-outs. Yes, we both say something that could be deemed controversial. Ben, you're doing something that many people,

or you refuse to do something that many people would do every night. Yeah, I won't sleep next to my phone. Like, I'm worried that my phone is... You also refuse to sleep next to me as well. Yeah, that too. But I'm worried that my phone is transmitting stuff, you know, and I don't like that near my head.

And I got into it, like, you know, like about a't like that near my head. And I got into it like, you know, like about a year or two ago, I got really deep in the whole thing. I was bringing this in, it's quite embarrassing, but I bought this thing off the internet. Oh, that's right. It's a reader, nuclear reader or something, isn't it? It'll basically test the levels of all sorts of stuff.

And I'd go around the house like a guy in a tinfoil hat. Go around, go, oh, oh, the electric reader. Oh, yeah. So it's got, oh, the electric radio, oh, yeah. So it's got, it basically reads magnetic readings, electric thing. I haven't touched this for like two years. I'm like,

I've got to put this away. Don't turn it on in here. It's like bloody Chernobyl in a radio studio, mate. Oh, you see, look at there, look at the things go up. And as you go closer to things, it was,

oh, it was starting to do my head in, so I put it away. He was wandering around with this major. I started wandering around the neighbourhood too, like under power lines and under things and I was like, oh, hang on bed. Have a good one. Full of bad good guy.

So what does it do when you put it next to your phone? Does it go off the... Well, it depends on what one you've got it on, you know, like it's got magnetic, electronic radio waves. I mean, yeah, and it's yeah, it started to really freak me out. So I put it away and stopped using it. It looks like someone's just made it in their garage.

Can I tell you that? It does. It doesn't look like an official piece of technology. No, I don't think there's a warranty on it. It looks like a prop from a movie set from Back to the Future or something. So anyway, that's what I do that many people do. Don't you buy it off the internet? Yeah.

There's a lot of processes you had to go through to get that. I know. You know, there's a put in your address and your credit card details. I felt bad that I did. But anyway, I put it away and I just thought I'd bring it in to shame myself on National Radio and say I don't do this anymore. So you don't sleep next to your phone? I'm trying to be better, but I still don't sleep next to my phone.

Do you? Where do you put your phone? I put it just in the little bathroom next to the bedroom. So I put it around the, just in the, we had a little bathroom next to the bedroom so I put it around the corner and I still put it on flight mode. Yes, nice. So if I'm ever late for work, I'm like,

you guys aren't going to be able to get hold of me. So how do you wake up? How do you wake up? The alarm still goes off. Oh, so then you have to walk? So your poor wife Amanda's there, bang, bang, bang,

hold on, let me get out of bed. Walk 10 metres into the bathroom. It's not a great system. On my way, I'll pick up my weird nuclear reading device just to manage to make sure there's no radio waves blowing around. So there you go.

That's my thing that I do. That's probably unpopular. I don't clear emails. Oh, you don't? I don't clear emails. There was a point where I was trying to claw my way back, clear them once a week, but there's no need to clear them.

If there's anything important, if it's of any importance, call me, you'll call me or Ben, I know Ben would have read it he'll pass it on to me they get away on you don't they? They do and they've gone too far now, it's too far gone and I don't even do the once a week clearing now I'm like, it used to be Sunday used to be your thing

I used to get a barrage of emails from you on a Sunday replying to things that had already happened like an event on Tuesday, I need you guys I used to get a barrage of emails from you on a Sunday replying to things that had already happened. Yeah. You're like... Like an event on Tuesday. I need you guys to be here at 11.30. I reply on Sunday.

Sorry, missed this. Producer Juliet, you run a zero email system. Oh, yes. Well, I used to actually, but then it got too far. When you guys jumped on the hits, I was like, there's so many emails coming in and I've just lost track as well. But I used to like working from a zero inbox.

You've got folders of different things and almost the emails that are left in your inbox are almost like your to-do list or like to get back on or to sort out. So you're very organised. But eventually you're like, oh, this is too much. It becomes like all the junk mail in your letterbox. Yeah. You don't want to deal with it. You know, I'm just getting bombarded.

Someone signed me up to Donald Trump's mailing list, so every day I get like nine emails from Donald Trump saying, this is our time to donate. Donate now. Donate now. President Trump knows you haven't donated. And then hair loss products. Someone else also signed me up for a prank.

So that pretty much fills up 90% of my inbox. There we go. That's this morning's controversial call-out. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Time for our brand-new game show. It's called Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. No better way to start the day.

That's unless you prefer not starting your day being ambushed by a radio game show. Well, that's true. Yeah. But, I mean, it's a $40 Hell Pizza voucher. You've got dinner sorted tonight because dinner starts lingering over you mid-afternoon, doesn't it? It does. You're right. You start thinking about that tonight because dinner starts lingering over you mid-afternoon, doesn't it? It does. You're right. You start thinking about that.

So we get in early. Some say too early. Yeah, we call someone up. We put them on the spot with a live radio quiz. They haven't asked for this. But at the end of it, they are normally nine times out of ten rewarded with Hell Pizza. What happened to that one time out of ten?

Actually, it's been pretty much 100% over, hasn't it? Yeah. I just wanted to give it, like, add some jeopardy to this game show, but really, they're simple questions. We feel bad calling people so early that we're inevitably going to give them the pizza anyway.

Good morning, Shoreway Faire, Carol speaking. Carol? Is that the Carol who didn't know she was going to be on a live radio game show? Um, no. I'm gathering it is. That confused reaction, it is Carol.

Carol? It's Jono. You're Carol. We're Jono and Ben from The Hits. We're calling from the radio station. We've got four quick questions. You answer them all correct, you get $40 Hell Pizza. Are you ready?

Oh, right. Okay. Rightio. Yeah, cool. You were getting confused as to who was Carol. Yeah, yeah. I know I'm definitely Carol, but I'm thinking, oh, she was. Yeah, this is, oh.

You're Carol. I'm Ben. He's Jono. Yeah, we've watched you guys on TV and that, and you guys are so cool. Oh, thank you. Hopefully you still think we're cool after this, but we'll find out. Okay. Here's your first question, Carol.

For $10 worth of Hell's Pizza, what is the name of the popular internet search engine? Is it A, Poogle, B, Google, or C, Frugal? Oh, definitely B, Google. Here we go, $10 already. Imagine Frugal. Ben Boyce is quite frugal. He would like that search engine. Yeah, exactly.

Way to get all the tightest, the cheapest prices on things on the internet. Oh, wow. Question number two. What is the name of the Auckland rugby team? Is it A, the Auckland Blues, B, the Auckland Methheads, or C, the Auckland Oranges? Definitely the Blues. Well done. Well done.

You got $20 hell pizza. Here is your next question. They're pretty simple. Leonardo DiCaprio is famous for what? Somehow getting older, but dating girls aged, but remaining to date girls aged 23. B, acting, or C, wearing his caps way too far down his forehead. Okay, I'd say B, acting.

Yeah, well, we'll take all three. Yeah, all three. Oh, very good. His girlfriend yesterday actually just had her 23rd birthday, so there you go. Oh, I see. Oh, right, so he does have a young start. He does. He keeps dating girls aged 23, so as so there you go. Oh, I see. Oh, right, so you did have a young start. He does.

He keeps dating girls aged 23, so as soon as they go 24, he starts again. I think that seems about right. And last question, Carol. What is the name of the popular social media platform? Is it A, Sick Talk, B, TikTok, or C, Lick Talk? Okay, TikTok. You're so good, Carol. Oh, gee, thanks.

You've got $40 Hell pizzas coming your way just for answering the phone and putting up with us. Oh, that's nice. Oh, thank you very much. You are so lovely. You are lovely, Carol. Oh, you guys are too. Hey, we watch you guys and we think you're really cool. Oh, Carol, you go look after yourself.

Go get yourself some Hell pizza and you have a wonderful Wednesday. Have a good one. Oh, right. Thank you. You too. Hold the line, Carol. Someone will talk to you. They'll sort out the logistics. We're not good with that sort of stuff. Oh, okay.

Oh, thank you very much. You guys have a good one too. Oh, Carol, this is like one of those nice moments I thought we'd never have in Radio Jotter. Yeah, we had it with Carol. Thanks, Carol. Oh, that's so nice. Carol is just helping us out, making us look like better people.

I actually just hung up. Oh, she's going to get into the Hell Pizza. I dumped her. Hell Pizza tried their best chorizo and indie pizza. She'll be like, oh, I thought we were going to have pizza. It's a sham, Carol. It's a sham. Thanks for your gold, mate.

We're on with the show. She was awesome. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz.

Tell you what, some parts of the country may be having a water shortage, but she'll never have a celebrity gossip shortage. It's producer Julia with Spy. Thank you very much. Miley Cyrus, she has admitted that in the whole lockdown period, she has only washed her hair twice in the last four months. What? One for an interview with Variety

Magazine and one when she caught up with Elton John. And that's it. You'd hope you'd do it before Elton John, wouldn't you? I know. So that's pretty, I mean, she has something in common with Miley Cyrus. Sometimes I just do it so I feel part of the club. Oh yeah, do you? Yeah,

just give it a blast. Oh, this is what it's like. Yeah, adds another couple of minutes to your day. True. Doesn't it? Your prep time. True. What I've actually come to realise is that you guys, as men, and a lot of men, would only have to use a fraction of the shampoo that females have to use. Yeah.

And like, it must just wash, clean it so quickly, whereas I have to literally do a couple of shampoos and then do my conditioner and you guys just want like super quick. I know guys really have it easy when it comes to prep in the morning. I mean if you wanted to you could get ready in nine minutes. From start to finish. So good.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes when I'm waking up at this early. Yeah you're right. I always feel sorry when you know filming and stuff and poor females have to come in like three hours before getting makeup done. Oh yeah, because we were talking

to Hilary Barry the other day and she used to do breakfast TV and she used to get in at like 3.30 to do makeup for like 45 minutes.

If I was her, I'd just be like, ah, just fang me on there. Chuck me on there. I don't care. Use a Photoshop or something. Fix it up.

I can't be bothered. Can anyone beat Miley Cyrus? Four months, did you say? Yeah, four months. Four months.

Twice. Longest time not washing your hair. 4487 on the text. To be honest, actually, I will admit something. At the beginning of lockdown, when I thought I was going to be in lockdown for four weeks, but I had to start coming into work for it, I was like, oh, yeah,

I'm going to test not washing my hair for a while because apparently when you don't wash it for a while, it's actually really good for it. And then you don't need to wash it but then I had to see people so I was like, from a distance I was like, I probably should look a bit more presentable. Yeah, no. Miley Cyrus at the moment you could probably wring out her hair and get a whole bunch

of grease and lube up your door hinges. Probably. I'm going to squeeze that into the car engine. Get some lubricant in there. It gets really greasy, doesn't it? Quite oily, you're right. Rub it on your toast and connect his butter. Miley's oil,

yeah, you're right. Cook it in the frying pan. She could sell that. Cook your premium beef mince with it. There we go. And James Corden obviously is known for his carpool karaoke interviews that he does with celebrities. So him and Stephen Colby are caught up and they discussed how James could do carpool

karaoke. I just heard you saying this, how he could do it with the coronavirus. I thought these suggestions were great. Stephen Colbert and James Corden wasn't giving him that much. I know. How about a limo where you're driving in front and they're behind you with that partition up? What about Daft Punk? They already have their

own helmets. They've got their own, it's like they're wearing scuba equipment the entire time. I don't know if the chat would be that great. I got one more suggestion for you, and that is, since outdoors is better, why not a motorcycle with a sidecar? I think the sound might be an issue. I don't know. Come on, Corey.

I know. Give them something. It's going to be your three options here. Daft Punk, they wear helmets, sidecar, a limousine with a little petition. You know, these are great options. It's like me in our post-show meetings. I'm fanging out all the stuff. You're like, maybe another day.

That's not going to work. I feel sorry for him. Carpool karaoke, the one thing that amazes me is James Corden remembering all of the words to the song. So impressive. I know. It's a good job when the pain in the ass moment is your day having to remember,

I want to hold your hand by the Beatles because Paul McCartney's about to jump in the car. That amazes me. And also the fact he's never had a nose to tail, you know, because he's quite distracted by singing quite often, isn't he? He's all singing away. Don't they put it on the back of a trailer? Well, that's the rumor, right?

No, well, what actually happened there is he was captured. You thought he was driving the whole time, right? But then a fan took a photo of him being towed. And the reason for that, he was doing Carpool Karaoke with Justin Bieber. Usually he does drive, but he just had eye surgery and so he couldn't, they didn't trust him with the driving because he was recovering from

eye surgery, so they were like, we'll tow you today. You're right, it's going to be a great end to the segment when they have a fender bender on the motorway. Nose to tail, cause I wanna hold it. And for more spy, you can head to thehits.co.nz.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Our cardboard cutouts making their way around the country.

Thanks to you guys. They started in Bluff and they've made it all the way up north to Whangarei today. Yeah, they've kissed a lot of babies and shaken a lot of hands these cardboard cutouts they've done.

What are they going to do about kissing babies and shaking hands for the election? I mean, that's an election staple, isn't it? Go around kissing babies and bloody... Oh, you mean with the COVID environment? The politicians, yeah. I don't know. Pat a baby?

Can you pat babies? Pat them on the head? Condescending? No, no, I don't think... Is it a bad look? I don't know if you can pat babies, so I don't know. Can you pat people on the head? No,ending? No, no. Is it a bad look? I don't know if you can pat babies. I don't know. Can you pat people on the head?

No, that's probably that bad look as well. Bad look as well. Dogs, maybe dogs. You can pat a dog maybe on the head. Or maybe it's the patting dog tour. Get that value of it. Bring your dog out. Every man and his dog and the female, so it's 2020.

And come on up and you'll pat the dog. But our couple of cutouts are in Whangarei. And earlier today, we rang some of the people there just to see how excited they were. Cheviot Part 10 speaking. Jan? Yes? OMG. OMG?

You'll never guess who it is, Jenny. Oh, my God, is that you, Richard? No, it's not Richard. Disappointing. We're Jono and Ben From the Hits Radio Station Not quite as good as Richard But anyway Yeah, no

You're kind of taking the wind Out of our sails now Are you after my daughter, are you? No, we're calling to talk to you We're calling from the radio station We're sending cardboard Cutout versions of ourselves To Whangarei

We wanted to know If there's any talk Going on in the town Any talk going on? Well, to be honest, you're not Richard. I'm so sorry. It's all right. I wish you was, Richard.

Hello. How are you? I'm well, and how's yourself? Oh, jazz. Not as jazzed as Fongare is at the moment. You guys are frothing. You tell us what's going on. Why are you frothing?

Oh, because we're busy. Oh, you're busy? Oh, that's good. Oh, just everyone loves us, mate. You tell us what's going on. Why are you frothing? Oh, because we're busy. Oh, you're busy? Oh, that's good. Oh, just everyone loves us, mate. Oh, that's good to know. What's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station? We are ringing because we're sending cardboard cutouts of ourselves to Whangarei. Are you? Yeah. And we thought the whole town would be talking about it.

Really? Okay. There you go. So if you want to get a photo with them, where are they going to be today, Jono? Well, I tell you what, they'll be fighting off the crowds, if that's anything to go by, Ben. But you can find them today.

Cameron Street? Cameron Street Mall, that's right. Get a photo. You're in the draw for that five grand. If they make it safely back to the Hit Studios. They might go missing in Northland. You know, you don't know. They've done such a great job going from Bluff

all the way up to the top of the North, but who knows where they're going to go. The Taniwha could take them. Oh, yeah. The Taniwha up North. Hashtag Jono and Ben. Get a photo with them. Put it online, and you could win five grand

if it comes all the way back to us. Hey, make sure you join us tomorrow on the show. We're going to talk to an artist who we want to phone and ask, do they get annoyed when we talk over the introductions of all their songs? This is something that upsets you every time. It does, because as radio announcers, all we annoyed when we talk over the introductions of all their songs? This is something that upsets you every time. It does because

as radio announcers all we do is babble over the beginning of songs right up to the point where they start singing. Does it annoy the actual musicians? Okay, we're going to talk

to a musician who we play on the hits tomorrow and find out if it actually annoys them. We'll be back tomorrow from six. You have yourself a great Wednesday.

We'll see you then. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from six on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.