Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - June 26 - Your Haircut Horror Stories, The A To Z Of New Zealand, What Mum-Ribilia Has Your Mum Kept?

Episode Date: June 25, 2020

Jono had a bit of a haircut horror (yes you're thinking correctly, how can he when he's bald?!), we also talked about Mum-ribilia: the things of yours that your mum refuses to throw out. Not only that, but we also got the cast of Harry Potter on, in a very special way! Enjoy the poddy & enjoy the weekend!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. I'd love to get your calls if you want to. 0800... The hits. The hits. What did I have? I think I'm having a stroke. 0800 the hits? Yeah, no, I'm alright, mate. I'm battling on. How are you? I'm okay. You good, Juliet?

Yeah, I'm great, thank you. You can text 24487. Haircut horrors! So, yesterday afternoon, took my son. You, Hound, you had a haircut horror. I'll just hold,

step back, mate. Let it breathe. This is recently. Yeah, no, just let me. Okay, sorry, sorry. Come on the journey with me. Okay, sorry. So I took my son, Oscar,

to the barber and he was getting a haircut. Right. And while I was in there, the barber's like, oh, do you want a haircut? And I was like a haircut right and while I was in there the barber was like oh do you want a do you want a haircut and I was like

oh well I haven't treated myself to a barber slash hairdresser experience for a number of years I just do it myself I do a very patchy job I end up sort of shaving my head

shaving the back of your head is quite difficult you're always like you've got patches of hair all around yeah I imagine it would be very tricky I'd look like a mangy

hairless chihuahua you know one of those Mexican chihuahuas yeah and so I was like oh yeah I imagine it'd be very tricky look like a mangy hairless chihuahua you know one of those Mexican chihuahuas yeah and so I was like oh yeah I'll do this and he's like what's he charging you for

20 bucks easy money for him really that's probably why he offered it he's like this is a quick job yeah well I thought it was

going to be a quick job he's like would you like me to do a fade I was like oh oh nice I like a fade I like a quick job. He's like, would you like me to do a fade? I was like, oh, okay. Oh, nice. I like a fade.

I like a fade. I mean, nothing's fading faster than my hair off the top of my head. So I was like, okay, well, maybe this is a thing. So I was like, oh, okay, do a fade. I know you in these situations, you're very polite in these. You don't want to make a fuss. You don't go along with anything. And he was spending a long time on my head.

He spent far more time on my head than anyone has for a number of years. Right. And he was shaving and clipping and shaving the bed and lining up bits and pieces. So it's giving you a little fade up the sides. It was Michelangelo in the Sistine Chapel. He was working hard. If anyone hasn't seen you for a while, you still rock the same haircut.

Not much on top. I'm not meaning that in a way. So he didn't have a lot to work with, but he was working hard. If anyone hasn't seen you for a while, you still rock the same haircut. You know, not much on top. I'm not meaning that in a way, you know. So he didn't have a lot to work with, but he was working hard. No, no. So, no. And then he was like fading up here and fading up here. And I was like, well, maybe I've been doing this wrong the whole time. Maybe this is an era of a new me.

So a little bit longer on top and just shorter on the sides. When they say new year, new me, I thought this is the moment. This is the moment. New year, who this? And I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks. It was like I just had a haircut. An actual haircut. An actual haircut with a fade.

A style. You got styled. Yeah. Yeah. That's right, Ben. And then I walked into my house. Jen, my lovely lady wife, as I mentioned before, who I purchased for a pretty penny,

she said, oh my God, what happened? That was those were her first words. The first words? So when you've had a makeover, the first thing you hear, you never want to hear is, oh, my God, what happened? And I was like, oh, he did a fake. Oh, the kids are doing it, Jen.

It's cool. I'm cool. I'm still cool. Yeah, and I ended up looking like a well-used toilet brush. You know, the ones that have got the sides put down, but there's a few spiky strands up the top. So do you have to fix it up yourself? And then she's like, get upstairs and shave that off.

And so I had to shave the top off, so it's all just a number one. Yeah, but I think God's nature intended me just to be a thumb with a few prickles on top. And that's what I need to roll with. So that's why we want this morning your haircut horrors. Yeah, so what happened to you? Have you had a haircut? Have you given yourself a haircut or given someone else a haircut

that's gone terribly wrong? No, no, dying can go badly, can't it? Maybe a hairdresser is listening right now and you had an absolute shocker with a client. Would love to get your calls. 0800, that hits 4487. Ash, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast.

Good to have you on this Friday. What was your haircut horror? Good morning, yeah. We were in Thailand on holiday and my wife and daughters went to get the braids they do with the beads and all that sort of stuff. Oh, the regretful beach braids, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it takes hours.

So I was just wandering around town by myself and saw this Korean barber and I went, I need a haircut. So I was just wandering around town by myself and saw this Korean barber, and I went, I need a haircut. So I went in there, and he did a great haircut, but at the back, and I couldn't see, at the back where the hair ends

and the neck starts, he went right up halfway up my head, like seriously high, and shaved it off. And my wife and daughter just laughed their heads off at me. I was so self-conscious, I had to wear a beanie for weeks.

So the back of your hairline was sort of finished at the top of your ears, sort of thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, up that way somewhere. What, did he do it with a razor? All the way back up? Yeah, it was terrible. Oh, that's really good. Thank you, Ash. Appreciate your call. Let's go to Tony. You're on the air, Tony. Your haircut, horror.

What was it, T-Dog? Doesn't like the nickname. No. Tony? Tony? Tony! Tony, Tony! Tony!

Tony's gone. I don't know if Tony's there, Ben. We lost Tony. She was one of the good ones. RIP, Tony. Liz, welcome to the show. Your haircut, Horror. What was it?

I was a teenager in the 80s and put my hand up to be a model at a hairdressing competition. That would have been a lot of hairspray in the 80s, quite a highly flammable environment I would have thought. I reckon, I reckon. Afterwards I wish I was one of the ones sent away with a bottle of shampoo. What happened? I got a really harsh bob haircut, you know, pokey angle down my cheeks kind of thing and really high at the back

and then put a colour through that was supposed to be strawberry blonde but came out this really weird orange Oh you look like a carrot Yeah pretty much and this was just before my 7th form school ball so I was a bit traumatic I've never dyed my hair again.

So you had a shaved head up the back and a long spiky fringe at the front all dyed orange. Yeah, it was pretty wild. Yeah, it is wild. It's confronting.

There's a lot of stuff to take in. Thank you for your call. Appreciate that. 0800 the hits, your haircut, horrors. I just turned my mic off.

That was us. That was us. I was trying to wrap you up. All right, Ben, see you. Remember to double. That was us. We were trying to wrap you up. All right, Benzie. Remember to double pump the Virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We want to talk about what your mums have kept of yours because my mum, we've talked about it many times on the show,

she's a hoarder. She loves to hold on to things. I'm glad you add der at the end of that. It would be very offensive to your mother. Yeah, she'll just keep anything, whether it's plastic tags, cake crumbs. Plastic tags? What, from bread?

Oh, she's got things like that. You know, those little silica gel packs that they say you throw away after you. She's got like... What, in your shoes when you buy some shoes? Or you buy wraps, you know, like from the supermarket, you know, things like that. She just keeps those. You never know when you're going to use them. Her place is just full of clutter.

What do you need an enormous amount of silica gel for? I don't know, but mum's like, I don't want to throw it out. She just likes holding on to stuff. Because one day someone will be like, damn, I could go some silica gel. And she'll be like, well, you've come to the right place. Every time I go to my mum's, I'm like,

one day you're not going to be here. I'm just going to clean this place up. Because it's just clutter. I just get, I can't handle it. And she drops it all to you and that frustrates you even more. Like about a week ago, she came down to stay and she had four boxes of stuff,

of my stuff that she'd kept. And it was everything from school projects to toys to like weird articles she'd cut out of the paper about, you know, like,

and just like, it's yours now. These are yours. As if it's like being handed down through the generations. So I had a look at it all and I was like, oh yeah, I'll get rid of that. I don't need it, but I'll dispose

of that. And she's like, oh you can't do that. So she put them all back in her car and drove them back out the door. She was like, well I can't get rid of it. Was your partner like, oh you just left with that stuff to drop it off. You can't throw this stuff out. So mum rebellion Rebellia, we want

to know what is the most unusual thing of yours that your mum has kept? 4487 on the text or 0800 the hits. The most unusual thing that I've told you this story before. I went to a mate's 21st a few years ago now and his mum did a speech about him in front of everyone. She's like,

you know, I've been wearing this locket around my neck for many years. You've always wondered what's in it. And she opened it up. She goes, I've got a photo of you as a baby everyone, she's like, you know, I've been wearing this locket around my neck for many years. You've always wondered what's in it. And she opened it up. She goes, it's a photo of you as a baby. And everyone's like, oh, that's cute.

And then she pulled out this little thing from the locket and this. And everyone's like, what is this? And she goes, you know, when you were little,

you was a boy, obviously, and you got something chopped off. A little something chopped off. She had the foresight to keep the force.

Yeah, yeah. And she'd been carrying that around in a locket for 21 years. And the poor guy was... Did it look like a little bit of calamari? I wasn't close enough to see it. Oh, I could chew. You could chew on it. Yeah.

A piece of biltong or something. That's the most unusual piece of mummerabilia that I think you could ever have. A-A-L-800, the hits of telephone number. What has your mum kept over the years? Love to get your calls and your texts too. 4487.

Oli, you're on the air, mate. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. It's a Friday. Woo! Good morning, yeah. Yeah, I'm the only one excited about that and only half excited.

What did your mum keep of yours, Oli? I was rummaging, as you do, a few years ago through some old stuff in my cupboard at my parents' place and come across this box of old things,

old teddy bears, sort of, you know, photos and found wrapped up in tissue paper, milk teeth, baby teeth. Oh, all of you, she kept, you collected your baby teeth? Yeah, she collected my baby teeth, yeah. He forgot to say his mother was the tooth fairy. Yeah, she collected my baby teeth, yeah. He forgot to say his mother was

the tooth fairy. Yeah, well there you go. Yeah, kind of sport my childhood thinking the tooth fairy was real this whole year. Oh,

and the tooth fairy is real. Just sometimes they leave them at the place where they find them because she's got so many teeth.

She's like, I've only got one house, you know, I've built my tooth house. Yeah. So sometimes I just come, drop off money and then leave the teeth there because they're one house. You know, I've built my tooth house. So sometimes I just come, drop off money, and then leave the teeth there because they're a burden. You get to a stage where you can't overcapitalise your house

for the tooth, you know. I know, yeah. You've got to keep building on and building. If you've got it, you know. Risk versus reward. It's a property portfolio. And she's done all the extensions on the property, the tooth extensions.

Yeah, exactly. She's got a 10-layered house made of grotty, bleeding, gummy teeth. Yeah. You know, she doesn't need any more. But anyway, 0800 the hits. What did your mum keep of yours, Tessa? Tess, you're on the air.

Welcome. Hello, Dad. I think we're all... Hello. Oh, I'm good, Tessa. You sound like a bundle of joy. What did your mother keep of yours? Well, it wasn't actually my mum it was my neighbor's

mum it was my neighbors yeah so like um when i was really little i had like really blonde curly lots and lots of curly hair and she thought i looked like shirley temple and she absolutely just loved my hair and um she when my mum the hair, she asked for a lock of it. Oh, that's not creepy at all. She told me to see every single Shirley Temple movie. And, you know, it was kind of a nice memory. She was like 89, and she died like a couple of years ago, and she still has that lock of my hair.

Really? Your hair? Wow. It's a fine line between adorable and creepiness, isn't it? I'd put that in the adorable category. Yeah, it's very cute. Thank you, Tessa. I appreciate your call.

You have a great day, buddy. And Barb's on the phone from Auckland. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Barb, what did your mum keep? Marina. No, it was me. I'm the same age as your mum, and my younger son's ungrateful

and didn't want his cast from his broken arm or his glasses that got broken when he smashed his nose. Okay. But the eldest son was absolutely delighted at Christmas when I dug in the attic and pulled out the Ninja Turtle dressing gown that I had made for him and put it on his son. Ninja Turtle dressing gown that I had made for him and put it on his son.

Ninja Turtle dressing gown, that's pretty cool. You put it on his what? You didn't finish that sentence. His son. Oh, son. Oh, the phone cut out. And I placed it on his. I was like, Bob, this is a hell of a cliffhanger.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Look, he's 34. We don't go there. So, yeah, it was his three-year-old son who fits the dressing gown, and that's really cute. And do you know what? He asked me just the other day, Mum, have you still got my war hammer that I used to have?

I said, oh, you mean in the attic that I saved for you? He said, yeah, I think it's worth a bit of money now. Well, that's the thing. You don't know sometimes if you keep some of the toys from like 20, 30 years ago, they could be worth a lot. Yeah. That's why mothers do it, like Ninja Turtle little suitcases and things.

Have you still got your little war hammer, Ben? I've got my little war hammer. It hasn't been to war in a while. The little dragon. Yeah, the little dragon. I don't know what we're talking about anymore, but I'm just going to laugh at Ali. Thank you, Bob.

Get your mum's papers. We're all talking, we're all saying words. but I'm just going to laugh for the moment. Thank you, Bob. It's your mum's favourite. Look after yourself. We're all talking, we're all saying words. It's getting quite confusing now. Serving bowls of loels for breakfast. Actual loels may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads.

Now, big news. Harry Potter has signed for rugby. Now, this is a guy whose name, actual name is Harry Potter. Australian winger, who played a little bit for the Melbourne Rebels is now signed for the Leicester Tigers in the UK. And, of course, the internet.

They love this. Who do you think it's more of a bane on? Daniel Radcliffe. Is Harry Potter more of a bane on Daniel Radcliffe's life or more of a bane on Harry Potter, the rugby player's life? Yeah, because everyone's going, you're a tiger, Harry, and expecting a bit of magic from Harry Potter. He's like, shut up!

Shut up! It wasn't my fault my parents named me Harry Potter. You would almost go, you'd change, wouldn't you? Harry Potter or something. Yeah. And yeah, he's quite a good rugby player, actually. This is some highlights from Harry Potter's rugby game for the Melbourne Rebels.

Harry Potter receives 150 points for catching the sled. Gryffindor wins! Sorry, I missed that half an hour. You're part of the problem. You're part of the problem. You're like bullying this poor guy over his name. What are you?

You're bullying him. No, I'm not bullying him. You hate being called a bully. I hate being called a bully. Well, then don't bully. I'm not bullying him. I think it's awesome. What I love about Harry Potter,

I wonder if Daniel Radcliffe ever sits back and goes, I went through puberty over six movie installments. True. From the age of... He grew up. Pretty much in front of the world. Yeah. Incredible.

Do you reckon we could get the cast of Harry Potter on this show? Not Daniel Radcliffe? No, I was going to scale it back a bit. Have we got a more achievable slash affordable cast? Like people listening, do we have a Harry? Do we have a Ron?

Do we have a Hermione? Oh, a Ginny, a Neville, a Hagrid, a Dumbledore. A Death Eater. Are these people listening to the hits right now? A Dobby. You don't have to have the first and last name. No, no, just, okay.

So let's see how much of the cast of Harry Potter we can get. This will be fun. Next on the show, Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, you know it. Give us a call, 0800 THE HITS or 4487. How many of the Harry Potter cast can we get on the show? And on Monday, can we get Joey, Rachel, Ross, Chandler? We can turn this into a thing. Well, Ben, you'll be happy.

We'll start with the lead character. Oh, we got a Harry? Apparently not. We had a Harry. We had a, we lost Harry. Okay, we'll end with the lead. What we have right now is a flustered producer, Humphrey, and Heidi next door. We'll move on.

Ginny on line one. Have we got Ginny? You have, Hi. Boom. You're an actual Ginny? You're not just lying to us? No, I'm the actual Ginny, but I don't know where Harry is. No, we lost Harry. He hung up. He decided he didn't want to be part

of this. It was magic. The invisibility cloak and everything. He can be a bit shy. Do people always, do people sometimes with a Ginny when I say it spelled out, I go Ginny. No. Do people ever do that to you, Ginny? I get Jenny and I get Genie.

Oh, Genie. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Are we one of the Weasley characters? I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean, Ginny Weasley. So, well, thank you for calling up, Ginny.

My pleasure. Guess what? We've got Harry back on the phone. Harry. Yes. That's two from two. Apparently, Producer Ben's just saying, is this Harry McNaughton,

who was Gerald on Shorland Street? We've got an actor called Harry. Yeah. A famous Harry. I'm pretending I have to do better. If I can just keep the same name, that's great. That's an easy one. You should have been cast in Harry Potter.

I mean, right? I wrote and I wrote. It's just going to my forehead. Hey, well, thank you. That's two from two. We've got a Harry. We've got a Ginny. Ben, ring, ring.

Hello, who's on the phone? Uh-oh, it's Ron. Ron. Hello. Yes. We've got a Ron! We've got a Ron! You've got a Ron! Without further ado, Ron, Ron, Ron. Do Ron, Ron, Ron.

That's very good. So an actual Ron? You're not Ronald? An actual Ron. Well, actually, it's Ron, Ronnie, Ronald, whatever you want. You don't get many Rons now. Many babies named Ron. I shall name this cute little child Ron. I like it. No, you won't. Although the next President of the United States of America might be

Ron Howard. Oh, is he up for it? Is he? Is he going for it? I don't know, but it wouldn't surprise me. Wouldn't that be great? Ginny, Harry, Ron. We've got three of the cast. Thank you, Ron. Appreciate your call. Hopefully this next caller is a Voldemort. Is it? Who have we got here?

Hermione. No. Are you really? Nah, just joking. Oh, it was going so well. It was going so well. But thank you for ending it. Because we can't go on past now.

You have a wonderful weekend. You too. So we've got a Harry, we've got a Ron and we've got a... A Ginny. It Ron, and we've got a... Ginny. A Ginny, yeah. It went better than expected. Yeah, it did, actually. I was expecting none. Let's do that again with another thing next week.

Yeah, all right. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now let's look at some big news from a small town. Big news, small town. And now this news comes out of Dunedin, and now there is a toilet that was built in 1912. They reckon it's the oldest freestanding public toilet in New Zealand.

And there's a lady who calls herself the loo lady, Alison Breeze, who wants to make it basically so you can't destroy it. Make it like a heritage. Oh, a heritage building. Do you think in 100 years there'll be some charitable lady trying to restore the portaloos from Rhythm and Vines? That'll be me. They'll probably burn those after Rhythm and Vines, surely. Jeez, you feel so vulnerable in a portaloa, especially at a festival.

You're like, some guy with glow sticks is going to push this thing over, cover it in mud. But let's go through to Dunedin, let's call the loo lady and find out why she wants to keep this amazing old toilet. Hello, Alison speaking. Have we got hold of the loo lady and find out why she wants to keep this amazing old toilet hello Alison speaking have we got hold of the loo lady you have Alison it's Jono and Ben calling from the hits radio station how you doing hi good thank you welcome to the big new small town Alison uh oh wow we uh well mainstream media may neglect your uh your topical events we don't no it's it's kind of gone a bit viral, I have to say. Well, you have gone viral because you want to, not the toilet. No, that's why it's so viral. But you want to basically preserve a very old, rare Dunedin public toilet.

Yes. Basically, it's the only one of its style left in certainly Dunedin, but we think across the country as well. It's basically like a wee time capsule back into the 1912 Dunedin, but we think across the country as well. It's basically like we time-captured back into the 1912 Dunedin. And you're somewhat of a loo aficionado. I am, by default. You've got a website, loolady.nz, which sounds like some sort of website that you should be charging for the content, but it's not.

It's the history of New Zealand toilets. Yes, I've been very surprised at the public's interest in the topic, and I regularly do public talks. I've been on media quite a few times about the topic. People are fascinated by things that are long gone,

you see, and all those old toilets and undergrounds have all long disappeared. So this toilet that we're looking at is the only one left. It's never been done up. It's basically been ignored for years, which means it's survived. Wow, I'm looking at your bog blog, as you put on your website, which is very good. Oh, yeah, there's lots of puns.

Oh, yeah, have you ever got to talk about your favourite toilets? What would be number ones? What would be number twos? The undergrounds and the octagon would be my number one. Oh, underground. Right. What makes a great loo? Cleanliness, probably.

Which none of them historically have ever had. Yeah, true. I'm looking at your blog and they look bleak. Yeah. They were, yes. So when they were first built

they were amazing and they were great feats of expensive architecture but then you put people in the mix and it goes downhill. Some of my hottest dates came from calling numbers on toilet walls. So it's got a rich history in my heart. Do you know, Ben, one of his most favourite experiences in life was travelling to Japan and using their state-of-the-art systems.

Oh, yeah, they're very good loos over there. Have you tried them? Yeah, Japan are known for those, yeah. Yeah, the bidet is very wonderful. Once you have those, it's very hard to go back to a normal loo. Yeah, and I should also state too that I'm the loo lady in New Zealand.

There's other loo ladies across the world as well. Oh, right, right. We've all contacted each other. So this is your turf at the moment? Yes, yep, yep. You know what? Right around the corner from my house, Alison, is a toilet, public toilet, that when you go in, the door shuts automatically and it starts playing a keyboard version of Burt Bacharach's What the World Needs Now is Love, Love, Love.

And it is the most relaxing setting for anything, for nature to take place. Well, and see, that's the difference with today's toilets is that they all open straight up onto the street. The old days, it was embarrassing and it was all hidden away so you could never be seen going into a toilet. So, things have gone sort of full circle with the old toilets.

So, that is why this one, most people don't even know what it is because it's not an obvious toilet site, yeah. And so are you wanting to get back to its former glory so the students can come in there after burning couches? Ah, no. No. We have discussed this at length.

Nothing's off the table, but we probably would like something to sort of clean it up and show people what it was like. All the original 1912 tiles and all the rest of it are still in there. So it's nice to show people what, you know, the glory days of sanitation used to be. Oh, get the toilet still in there. So it's nice to show people what the glory days of sanitation used to be. Oh, get the toilet duck in there, give it a scrub, give it a polish,

get her open, that's what I say. Yep. Without saying all the words and the sentences, is this what the brick something house comes from? Because it's made of brick, right? Yes, well most of them, yeah, and all the earlier ones were, they were just little brick houses. Is that where the saying, obviously, that comes from?

That's where the saying comes from. They're all made of brick. Yeah. I never even thought of that before. A lot of sayings that come from that, yeah. Well, there you go. It's been very interesting. The loo lady, good luck with protecting this old, rare Dunedin public toilet.

Thank you. And hopefully you can hold on to it. A part of New Zealand history. Yeah, that's right. Are there some days where you're like, I could have been known for something else? I think it's way too late now. Too late now. Branded as the Lou Lady, I'm going to roll with it.

Yep, that's right. Hashtag Lou Lady. Alison, lovely talking to you. Cool, thanks very much. The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz People say the Kardashians got famous for doing absolutely nothing, but what do they say about the people who report on the Kardashians got famous for doing absolutely nothing,

but what do they say about the people who report on the Kardashians? Nothing but positive things? Yeah, yeah, true. And that's producer Juliette. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Now, Russell Crowe, he has done a thing with Vanity Fair where he is explaining Kiwi and Aussie slang to Americans.

And my God, he sounds bored. Naked. Yes, naked means tired. It's bigger than tired. If you're naked, you're completely tired. You're bereft of all energy. Choice as. This is sort of a combination of two things.

Choice means very good. As is. And then he just goes on and on and on. It's really, you just think he's going to. It's cool that he still remembers some of the stuff from New Zealand when he was growing up, but at the same time he sounds like he's over it. His enthusiasm for that project is very minimal. They could have got a more enthusiastic participant.

It was one of those things where he probably turned up and they're like, hey, mate, well, here's our idea. We want you to do this thing. He's like, okay, mate. I'll read them out in the same time and will not be excited at all in the slightest. Yeah, for sure.

Russell Crowe, you were talking about Russell Crowe before. Do you reckon you'd be scared to say the wrong thing to Russell Crowe? Maybe a little bit, but I reckon he'd be one of those guys you'd have a beer with and probably get on a house and stuff. Once you got him, you got him. If Russell liked you, you'd be like, yeah, man,

we're bloody good mates. It would just take a lot of work to get to that stage I think. A lot of ground work. He's probably quite dubious. He'd be like, okay, what's this guy about? And he'd hold his head sideways and look down with his eyes. He'd do that thing. Give me half an hour of a load with Russell and we'll see how we go. Give me 30 minutes with Russell, have a meeting at the Parliament. Or punch me in the face, one of the two.

Probably punch me in the face. And Billie Eilish, she has gone and unfollowed everyone on Instagram. So it's not the first celebrity that's done this. Adele does it, Beyonce. They don't follow anyone on Instagram. And I'm like, what are you trying to do? If you get famous, you don't need anyone, right? Yeah.

That's the thing. You're like, I don't need to follow anyone. I need to be followed. Is it because she doesn't want to engage with Instagram? Because otherwise you could just delete the app. That's always an option. True, true. Well, she hasn't said why she's done it.

It's just what people have noticed. But I reckon like you get to a stage, a celebrity status, and you're like, right, I'm cool enough that I can get away with not following anyone and no one will be offended because I am this person.

Yeah, true. You know what I mean? Ben's reached that stage. You've deleted everyone off Instagram and they've deleted you. Conan O'Brien, the US talk show host, he only follows one person on Twitter

and it's a random. Really? Just like a random lady in the middle of America and yeah, he's just like, picked someone at random and that's the only person

he follows. I wonder if he realises that like she's a random or it's intentional. It does and she got a few followers because she's the only person that Conan follows.

So nothing else would pop up in their feed. So nothing will pop up in Billie Eilish's feed. No, you're right. So just, it's just all her stuff. Just all her stuff. Very self-indulgent to Instagram account. What have I been posting? pop up in their feed. So nothing will pop up in Billie Eilish's feed. No, you're right. So just, what would be on there? Just all her stuff.

Just all her stuff. Very self-indulgent Instagram account. What have I been posting? This is the only content I enjoy. For sure. Sounds like me.

And for more spy, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook.

Now, we love Lord of the Rings in New Zealand, don't we, Jono? I've never seen it. I can't commit to seeing it either. It seems like quite a commitment. I should have jumped on the train when it left the station many years ago. Oh, we love it.

We love it. Have you seen all of them? Yeah, I have actually, yeah. And there's a new Amazon Prime TV series, and they're looking for extras. It's been filmed here in New Zealand for Lord of the Rings. Has Sir Peter Jackson got anything to do with it? No, I don't think this one.

Sir Peter Jackson must be like, oh my God, I just never want to see another imaginary fictional character in my life. Maybe he's a consultant or anything, but he's not directing this one. We went hard on Lord of the Rings.

Oh, everywhere. We traded. Like, Wellington's based their economy off Lord of the Rings, haven't they? Although we were saying yesterday they should have called the airport Lord of the Wings. Oh, that would have been so good. It's still not too late because there's still got a lot of stuff up there. They could change it.

Rather than Welcome to Middle Earth or whatever it is, it could have been Lord of the Wings. But anyway, if you want to be an extra in the new Amazon Prime TV series Lord of the Rings, they're looking for people with unusual faces. Why are you looking at me when you say that? You turned, you were reading and then you looked up and went,

unusual faces and you looked me dead in the eyes. Like character faces. Yeah. Now you're looking at me again. Things like that. No, he's not taking

his eyes off me. You know, interesting noses. Freaks. They're wanting freaks. Is that what you're saying? He's dancing around the fact saying,

Lord of the Rings, they want a whole bunch of freaks and you're saying I should. No, they don't want freaks. They that what you're saying? He's dancing around the fact saying, Lord of the Rings, they want a whole bunch of freaks and you're saying I should... No, they don't want freaks. They just want interesting looking people and if you're there, it's a pretty good gig too. It's actually really good money. Yeah.

Well, I do look like a dehydrated Gollum. Like Gollum who's just hopped off a long haul flight. Yeah, maybe they could save on the expensive CGI, the special effects. Excuse me? Yeah, I could put on a pair of nappies and wander around like Gollum. I can do that. It's almost weekend, so there you go. That's right.

That's what keeps me young, mates, keeps me young. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I want to know right now, did you have a worse start to the day than me? Yeah, you want to make yourself feel better because you've been rattled since 5am this morning. He hasn't recovered as he predicted. No, no. You get into work, you know, early,

you know, as we do now. And I went out to the office here. There's no one. There was actually no one in the office at the time. Before the show starts, you like some alone time just to sit on your computer and look at,

I don't know what you're looking at out there. God only knows. I put stuff as preparation for the radio show. Whatever you want to call it, mate. Whatever you need to explain to the IT department, that's fine by me. And as I walked back into the studio, I was like, oh, something stinks out here.

I looked down and there was dog crap everywhere. And we'd just noticed it was a very cute dog that had been probably 10 minutes beforehand walking past the studio, inside, in the office, from Megan, from Fletch Vaughan and Megan's show on ZM. They're just next door to us, yeah, and she's a lovely lady, Megan. I think she's mortified that her dog. And then we went in and we're like, what is this?

What is this? I'm waving my shoe. We bombarded, she came out, she has her hand over her mouth. Oh, no, I'm sorry. And it's now the time to tell you it wasn't the dog. It's now the moment. Oh, God, was it you? I'll put my hand up. Hell of a mouth. Oh, no, I'm sorry. And it's now the time to tell you it wasn't the dog. It's now the moment. Oh, God, was it you? I'll put my hand up.

Hell of a prank. Hell of a prank. So has anyone had a worse start to the day than Ben? You want to make yourself feel better? And I want to make someone else feel better if they've had a worse start to the day. Yeah, this is a day of celebration. This is Friday.

You're meant to be happy. You're not meant to be in the toilet mopping off dog matters off your shoe with napkins 4487 on the text so 0800 the hits have you had a worse

start to the day than me and we might find you some Reading movie movie tickets welcome to the show Steve from Taupo yeah how are you

oh it's good good to have you on mate happy Friday yeah yeah yeah happy crap day what happened to you what you had a worse start to the day than Ben? Oh, mate, I fell over the other day and I injured my shoulder and I thought, oh, I'd better go to the chiropractor.

So he very nicely fitted me in at 7 o'clock this morning. And I went in there, had my work boots on, you know, they've got big heavy tread. Went outside, hopped in the car, drove down there, everything's all good. Walked into the surgery sort of chiropractic area, put me on the bed, lifted my feet up and he goes, oh, shit. And I said, what's the matter? He says, you've stood in some dog dirt. And I'd marched it all through his...

Oh, no. And I said, well, it's dark What can I see You're making my nose This block And you just feel So responsible It's not your fault Yeah

But you're right I walked her Through the office I walked her Through the studios I feel your pain We're going to Hook you up

With some movie tickets Alright Thank you very much Good on you Steve Thanks to Reading Cinemas They're open again of course This is the danger Of having dog at work day

No it isn't. I know Producer Humphrey said they used to have, it was just like the SPCA out there at one stage, and he went to go to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, and there was a frothing L-sation going, like an attack dog about to launch at him when he wanted to make a conversation. Oh, hi, excuse me.

Just wanted to make a conversation. Oh, no, just, no, come back. Making a dog to work day was not a success. They're overrunning the office. I love it. So good. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the heads.

The A to Z of New Zealand. This's Jono and Ben on my heads. This is where we call a different town or city in New Zealand. We do one a day and we do it in alphabetical order and it's going to take us over two years to call every town or city in New Zealand. It's going to cost the company millions in toll calls. It probably is. What price do you put on two and a half years of phoning every town in New Zealand? Well, we'll find out in two and a half years. And if they deduct that from our wages.

But today we're heading off to Brightwater, which is near Nelson. Brightwater. Did you know Brightwater, home of Sir Ernest Rutherford? The Red Rutherford. The guy famous for being on the $100 note and nothing else. Not the splitting the atom thing? No. I just know him as the face on that picture of that money that you spray down at strip clubs, Ben.

I know how you party on the weekends. He cost Nobel Prize winning scientist Ernest Rutherford and also on the $100 notes. There you go. This is where he was born. Going through to Brightwater now. Brightwater. Remember last time we were in Nelson and we broke the world record for the most amount of people inside a giant G-string? That's right.

They all came down, didn't they? They did. Hundreds of people squeezed into a giant G-string. We had it custom made, obviously. That's right. One of our finest moments. Hello, Brightwater Dente, how are you? Hello. Are they still talking about the time

Jono and Ben came to Nelson and stuffed everyone inside a giant G-string? What are we talking about? No, clearly not. Okay, well, we are ringing every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day. And today's Brightwater's turn. What can you tell us about Brightwater?

Well, we have a bakery in Brightwater and you can come and do a 1kg donut challenge. You've got a kilogram donut? Wow. We do, yep. You've got to smash it in 15 minutes or less, and if you do, you get to keep the donut, and if you don't, you pay $30.

And get horrible indigestion. Yeah, so we've had 84 people do it, and only two have actually eaten it. So is there cream and stuff inside it or custard in it? Yeah, 1kg, and pretty much everyone vomited. And then you're like, while you're vomiting, can you also swipe your FBOS card and pay for this donut? Yeah, yeah, no, they get a paper bag for that.

Apart from baked goods, what else do you do in Brightwater? That's about it, really. Got a nice school, We have a few cafes. It's cool here. Obviously, Sir Ernest Rutherford was born there? Yes, it was. And do you know why it's called Brightwater? Oh, no.

You tell us. Because there used to be a flour mill here with a pond, and a guy looked over and he said, oh, look at the bright water. Well, that's not much of a story. It's as good as it gets. You guys realise I'm actually serving at work? Well, you keep serving and keep talking

because this is a hell of a multitasking session we're bearing witness to. I've got the bloody ovens going off. I've got to get my foot, belly and gravy pies out. People wanting chai lattes. Busy. You're very busy. I'm sorry, we've had convenience today.

I've got the bloody pies in here, the bloody chai lattes. You're a good sport. Busy, boys. I've got to go and make some money. We'll let you get back to it. And if we ever are in Brightwater, we'll come try the 1kg donut challenge. Thank you, boys. Nice chatting.

You too. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Very exciting news this morning. We were talking about around about 4 a.m. today. Massive for football in New Zealand.

New Zealand and Australia are co-hosting the Women's World Cup, Football World Cup, and we've got it over Columbia. Big news. And we've got some of the football ferns with us in the studio right now. We've got Hannah, Erin, and Anna-Lee. Hey, guys. Congratulations. Thank you so much.

Did you guys put the prop together yourselves on a spreadsheet or who does the prop for FIFA? Whose responsibility is that? To be honest, yeah, I mean, it is just FIFA, I guess. I guess it's just the way it turned out for us. And we're super excited. It's very awesome. Very excited.

It's bigger than the Rugby World Cup, this. Ben, you had some facts. 1.2 billion people watched the last one, which is amazing. Yeah, so it's going to be huge. It's the biggest sport in the world, and it's just going to be absolutely amazing. So you guys were up at three this morning to watch the announcement. I saw you there having a celebration-regard glass of wine in the morning. How are we feeling now?

Yeah, it was a nice early morning champagne. How wasted are you now? Do we need to get the beep button ready? Are you going to say some controversial stuff? No, no, it was good. So yeah, most of us didn't get much sleep, but it was well worth it. Yeah. Yeah, it's awesome. Jacinda Ardern, the Prime Minister

we understand, was making some calls this week to help New Zealand across the line. Yeah, old Aunty Cindy came to the party. So yeah, obviously great to have her support and the government support. Yeah, and just obviously really happy and proud of the nation got behind it

and got the win now I have a rumour about FIFA and you might be able to confirm this being professional footballers I don't know where you got this from

no comment that they have a secret bunker 19 levels under the ground where they hold all of their meetings no cell phone coverage no internet

I don't know where you've got this from this is my rumour can you confirm or deny football fans we won so I think it's

a pretty true statement yeah happened in the bunker all that decision making was made in the bunker it's very exciting to see you guys to the World Cup again

you guys have been a few times like the football fans right yeah pretty experienced squad we've been I'm coming up on my fourth I I think, now.

We'll be in fourth for 2023. I think, Erin, you'll be the same. All the same, eh? Yeah, so we're pretty experienced. Because the captain, Ali Riley, was a lovely shot this morning in tears with the announcement, which was pretty cool. That must mean a lot to bring football to New Zealand. Yeah, absolutely. You can just see

it all in her face like that. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have one of those moments later today. Can you do it now for our social media? I can't. I've got my mask on now. Football fans cry. Ben Savage comments make football fans cry. Don't make it about me.

Make it about the joy and the emotion. That's great. I always feel like a lesser of a human being when athletes come into the studio. Well, you are. Yeah, because you just look so healthy and organised. And look at this. Look at this, guys. This is what happens when you give up on life and you take a healthy path.

So you've chosen the right life. Congratulations on the Football World Cup. It's very exciting. And well done on sounding sober after five hours of non-stop drinking. Very impressive. Yeah. I won't comment on that either. hours of non-stop drinking. Very impressive. Yeah. Yep. I won't comment on that either.

The Football Ferns, very big news this morning. New Zealand and Australia co-hosting the Football World Cup. Stoked about that one. It's a very cool one. Damn right. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hips. It's growing through your feet.

There is no piece of news that we haven't looked at overnight. I even went to the Blenheim Countdown Community Notice Board and scoured that. And if you're in the market for a second-hand set of lawn bowls, Ron Sharpleton will be selling them. You get a hold of him on 03-348-9827. I definitely didn't make that number up as I was talking. Big news this morning. Announced just around 4 o'clock New Zealand time. Massive for football in New Zealand.

New Zealand and Australia will be co-hosting the Football Women's World Cup in 2023 and it's a move that online the football Ferns captain Ellie Riley she's been to three World Cups now I think and she was in tears with the announcement. Such an emotional awesome thing to happen for football in New Zealand. Well yeah because I know

traditionally New Zealand not a huge football nation but this is bigger than the Rugby World Cup producer Humphrey was saying. Yeah, 1.2 billion people as I said before watched the last World Cup. 1.2 billion people. Jacinda Ardern's

been making calls this week trying to help secure it. It was us. Us in Australia versus Colombia down to the final votes. Oh, do you do bribery calls? Well, Colombia's got a few things.

Yeah, you'll come to Colombia. I don't know. Can I do that accent? Probably not. Probably not in 2020. But I just did, and now I'm talking about it, Ben. But no, it's so exciting. You know, FIFA, the World Football Organization.

Oh, this is your, you've heard this once. This is what I've heard. There's a lot of questions and controversy that shrouds FIFA and people getting paid off to host Football World Cups because it's got a financial windfall for the nations. We're not saying that this has happened in this case at all.

Well, New Zealand's got no money to pay anyone off. Colombia, they might have a lot of money. But I heard they have a secret bunker. 19 levels beneath Earth's surface. This is FIFA. FIFA, yeah, where they hold... Why do they need that?

Well, they hold all their secret meetings and do all their shady deals, mate. So whatever. No cell phone, no cell phone coverage. It's like a stag do on a launch. Can't take your cell phones and all sorts of stuff, nonsense. They're not Bond villains.

It feels like you've created something else. 19 levels under the ground. I don't know what the other 18 levels are comprised of. But it is massive for football in New Zealand, so congratulations to the football fans and they'll be joining us after 8 o'clock in the studio, which is cool. Are you much of a football guy?

Are we? I do enjoy watching. I love watching the World Cups. It's always a time that I kind of, you know, the World Cups are exciting. We were lucky enough to go to a Champions League game in Portugal once, eh? Oh, yeah, we did not deserve to be there.

Like, yeah, it was a magic trip. But, gee, it's crazy how they watch football over there and support sport. They're letting off flares. They're burning their bloody grandstands. They're eating people. Oh, they get so excited

about it. It's crazy. When you're in New Zealand, you go to an All Blacks game and, you know, people sit there with their arms folded pretty much going,

come on, All Blacks. Yep, all right, we won. Not by enough, but we won. There was a riot afterwards in the street. Yeah. And no one cared.

They were just doing anything. Oh my goodness. Yeah, just from a game of football. So that is the big news story, as well as that David Clark, Health Minister, we played the little clip yesterday where he threw Ashley Bloomfield under the bus. The Director General has accepted

that the protocol wasn't being followed. He has accepted responsibility for that and has set about putting it right. And the camera swiped over and you just saw Ashley standing in the background. It's like he kicked a puppy. It was. A puppy that has navigated this country

through the first pandemics since 1918. Boom, straight in that puppy's throat. And the internet's been all over that one. But as well as that, they've changed David Clark's Wikipedia page. Now it says he's the Minister for Health and also an avid campaigner for throwing under the bus policy,

which I thought was pretty good. It was a dog move, wasn't it? It was the weasel. And Ashley said to come out and go, oh no, we're good, we're good, we've got a great relationship. I was like, oh. I reckon Labour just don't want to look bad

heading into the election. So they're like, Bloomfield, I don't care what you've done over the last three months, you're taking the hit for this, you schmuck. Okay, okay.

Jacinda, are you coming out with this press conference? No, mate, you're going out on your own. I'm making some calls about this FIFA thing. I've got some stuff. David Clark, you're the health minister. Do you want to come out? No, mate, this is all your fault. And then he's sent out there to do press conferences now. Poor guy. I feel sorry for Ashley.

That is what's happened over the last 24 hours. That's scrolling through your feeds. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up scrolling through your feeds. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now, we are heading into a weekend, and over the weekend, you make me do something. Yeah, I make you team up.

Sorry, Ben, for teaming you up with the world's most popular pop artist, buddy. I'm trying to do you a favour here. Ben, we learned, has a karaoke machine at home and if there is one person on the face of the earth that certainly doesn't deserve to have a karaoke machine at home. It's where we have people.

It turns into a fun time but it's been taken away from the privacy of my own house. You know, the audio evidence is now all across the airwaves, all over the internet. Yeah, well, because your wife Amanda sent us audio of you singing Seal, Kiss From A Rose. There used to be a grey and tower alone on the sea You were getting the light of the dark side of me

So she sent us that, and that's what got this ball rolling. So don't blame me. Blame the lady you married, for better or worse. And I think this is one of the worst moments. So what you guys do is you put me together with a producer, Juliette. You basically make me sing a duet on Monday with the actual artist. You cut me in. And it's the greatest part of my week.

I look forward to it all the time. I feel like you use my worst bits. Of course, you've got to. Well, you only do one take. You're like, I record one take, no take backs, whatever you get, you get. Oh, like Frank Sinatra's back in the 50s. Apparently that's what he did. For filming, he hated filming movies

and what was that movie? Ocean's Eleven. Ocean's Eleven. Apparently Frank Sinatra would turn up, he'd be like, alright, you've got one take. And he'd like be fumbling his lines and he'd be looking at the wrong camera and stuff. He's like, alright, we're done. And then they had to spend like months trying to edit around Frank Sinatra forgetting lines.

He used to do that with his singing. He used to obviously nail it quite well on the first attempt, but he would never listen to his – my dad's a big fan, so he'd tell me he'd never listen to his songs again because of that reason. He'd be like, oh, I could have done that a little bit better. I was like, well, yeah, you can. Well, you can. You had the chance to, Frank.

But you decided to walk out of the studio. But he's still an amazing singer. If that's his first take, it's better than no 90s. Why was he so busy? What did he have to do? Anyway, it was his job. He was a busy guy. Amazing singer.

Regardless, back to Ben's duets. He's also a busy guy, so he squeezes this into his weekend. This is what happened last week when we teamed you up with Pink. Yes. with Pink. Pink, yes. So say you'll stay with me tonight Cos there's so much wrong Going on outside Oh, hello. And this week, I think,

probably the hardest song yet. So tomorrow, when do you record it? First thing Sunday morning, do you? Well, sometimes. I have done the occasional Saturday night one if I'm feeling you up. But we're working seven days at the moment

so he does it before we go to work on Sunday and so this is like 6.30 in the morning he's karaoke-ing and this Sunday my friend you will be recording karaoke too. Up high there. Adele, she's done a great job of this. That's a toughie.

So come Monday, Ben co-labs with Adele. It's the greatest forced coupling since Heartless TV produces forced Art and Matilda together. That's worked out all right. Well, I'm still suspicious, and you know, I've made that very public to Art and Matilda that their marriage is a sham for reality TV. Well I don't think it's quite the case. Even their baby, sham baby he spends duets

back on Monday, very exciting. More painful than your alarm clock it's Jono and Ben on the Hats. Now I did a act of heroism yesterday, heroic act we catch a lift where we go down to a car park that we're in bed. I saw you do that

I witnessed you do this yeah and what did you think? what do you think? there's a hero when a hero comes along I thought it was a nice thing you did you should probably get some heroic music

or something Juliet if you want I can fill in time until you get the music no but we were in the lift and you know when the lift doors are open and you see someone like walking towards it

and it's a fine line. They're like, I can make this, but I can only make it if a hero puts their arm in front of the doors. Okay, it said superhero. Doesn't sound very superhero-y, does it? It'll do. It'll do.

You're right. It's one of those moments because there's nothing more awkward when someone doesn't do that. I know, and then you just see the door shut. So you're putting your arm out and you're saying, you're saying, I am willing to risk my limb getting lightly pushed together by two doors

so you can enter the lift. It's the equivalent of like, you know, when you're driving in peak hour traffic and someone lets you in and you raise your finger off the steering wheel just to say, hey, mate, thank you. But a lot of people don't put their arms in the lift. Have you ever done the opposite? When someone's coming, you're like, oh, sorry, mate, thank you. But a lot of people don't put their arms in the list. Have you ever done the opposite? When someone's coming, you're like, oh, sorry.

You've done it. You do it a lot. Oh, sorry. You're like, I could have just put my arm, but I didn't. Yeah, and you sort of hold your hand up and go, and there's the door slowly shut. Like it's slow motion, like I'm on my way there to do it. You did that to me last year.

I was like, this guy. I'm sorry. I was attempting to do it, just did that to me last year. I was like, this guy. I'm sorry. I was attempting to do it, just didn't quite get there quick enough. You know my reactions these days. They're a bit slow in your old age. Yeah. But there are little things you can do in life

to be a hero, aren't there? Yeah, there are. Like? Did you think I had examples? Have I not just given you the arm and the lift example? I don't know how you do this radio thing. I throw it back to you. Hopefully you've got some content.

No, I was going to say, the bigger the lift can be awkward at the best of times. We met that other guy the other day. He was a lovely guy, but it was a 25-minute conversation. Yeah, sometimes. We just kept riding the lift up and down with him. We couldn't get out. Because a mate of ours, actually,

who used to work in Australian radio, he got stuck in a lift with Russell Crowe really so he had to go downstairs and pick up Russell Crowe for an interview on the radio station

so it was just a couple floors and then Russell Crowe got in just him in the lift and then the lift broke down and Russell Crowe was just like it's a prank

oh you thought it was a prank he got really angry at first because you're like it's a prank I haven't got time for this and the guy's like no no honestly

this is not a prank we haven't meant to do this and they spent about 25-30 minutes and they kind of went from angry prank thing to having a conversation At first, because it's a prank. I haven't got time for this. And the guy's like, no, no, honestly, this is not a prank. We haven't meant to do this. And they spent about 25, 30 minutes. And they kind of went from angry prank thing to having a conversation getting on really well by the end of it. And just him and Russell Crowe hung out. I can't imagine Russell would be a free-flowing conversation. You'd be scared to talk to Russell.

You'd be worried that at any point what you said would set Russell Crowe off. Yeah, but apparently by the end of it, they like, oh, they're the best of mates. After Russell threw a telephone in his face, they made up in the end. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We play this game before 7 o'clock every morning. It's called

Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. A game show that no one is expecting. We phone people up. It's like the friend that turns up to your house unannounced, and you're busy doing something else. You've got to, you know, I was waxing my armpits, and now you're here, and now we've got to spend time together.

That's what this game show is like. Yeah, it's a bit like that. It's a bit of an inconvenience, but you can win Hell Pizza vouchers just by playing. The questions are pretty simple. Let's make a call now and see if we can thrust someone into a game show. Good morning, B2 to Gogol. Amy speaking.

Amy, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits. Guess what? What? Don't call us. We'll call you. It's a new game show that we're doing. You didn't even call us. We've called you.

You probably know that already, and you've got four questions to answer. And if you get them all correct, you win Hell Pizza. Oh, okay. Yeah. As long as they're not too hard. No, they're pretty easy. They're easy, mate. You run a petrol station, don't you? I don't run it, but I work here.

All right, here's your first question. Hubba Bubba is a brand of what? A, family-friendly pole dancing clubs, or B, bubble gum? Bubble gum. Well done. Family-friendly pole dancing clubs? B, bubble gum? Bubble gum. Well done. Can you sell that? Family friendly pole dancing clubs? Come on, kids.

Let's go to the family friendly, yeah. That's kind of like Hooters, isn't it? We went to Hooters once. All the kids were there. It was like a family restaurant. Yeah, it was. It's not quite... Anyway, we can talk about that another time.

Wonderful food at Hooters, though. Wasn't it? It was all perfect for you. It was all just like fried chicken and chips and all sorts. Kylie Jenner is the world's youngest what? A. Trapeze artist or B. Billionaire? B. Billionaire. You are on fire.

Two from two, you've got $20 hell pizza. The Roosters and Broncos are nicknames for what? A. Ben Boyce's legs or B. NRL teams? B. NRL teams. No one can stop her. She is on fire like unleaded petrol in a cigarette.

Don't be like that. Don't be like that. No. And final question. If I was ruffling, what would I be doing? A. Rolling on the floor laughing or B. Rolling on the floor lactating?

Rolling on the floor laughing. That's right. Well done. You've got $40 worth of help, Peter. As easy as that. Yay. Just by answering the phone and putting up with us for a couple of minutes. Oh, that's fine.

I can put up with you any time. Hey, now tell us what's happening in Gore today. Oh, I'm not quite sure. Nobody's probably awake yet. You opened the gas station incredibly early for a smaller town? I can't imagine you'd be too busy between 6 and 7. Yeah, we are. We get all the shares in and yeah, no,

busy enough. I take back what I said. What do I know? You look after yourself. Yeah, you too. Thanks for ringing. Hold the line. We'll get your details. It's all thanks to Hell Pizza serving the best damn pizza in this lifetime and next. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's all thanks to Hell Pizza, serving the best damn pizza in this lifetime and next. Like starting your day without your morning coffee.

It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Big news this morning in sports. Massive football in New Zealand. Very exciting. New Zealand and Australia are going to host the Women's Football World Cup in 2023. We're going to have a couple of football ferns on the show after eight. But also some quirky sports news that's out there as well.

The All Blacks, so the rugby side, and the Kangaroos league side are in talks about having a hybrid game. None of this makes sense. When you said, oh, two of your favourite sports are combining, I was like, golfing and tobogganing? This is going to be interesting. Golfing is your toboggan. You have to hit the ball on the way down the thing.

You're just adding an extra danger element. How is that logistically going to work? Because obviously you want to mix both codes. Do they play one half league, one half rugby? I don't know how it would work because there's someone online, NZ Herald actually, that said this could be an option. So 13 each team because obviously the league team are 13. And this is a little bit confusing.

Why don't the league players get two more? Well, that's a- Why do we have to come down to their level? We, like I'm in team rugby? Yeah. I have no affiliation with either. But this is one proposed way it could work. And I think this sounds a little bit confusing,

but anyway, you be the judge. So when the team is in possession in their own defensive half of the field, the game is played within the rules of rugby league. So play the ball. And then when it gets into the attacking half of the field, the game is played within the rules of rugby league, so play the ball, and then when it gets into the attacking half of the field, it's played in accordance with the rules of rugby union, Ruck and Moore.

Why don't they just have one half league? That's what I was thinking. And who's going to monitor that? The referee. Oh, you're over halfway now. Oh, we're switching into that. But then you're going to have to have a rugby referee and a league referee both on the field.

Oh, this is... It sounds like a cluster... But you'd watch it. You would watch it. Just like why you watch car racing, because you want to watch a car accident. The All Blacks are going to need to get a few more neck tattoos, have a few more off-field scandals

to match up with the league team. And wouldn't you just have your reserves bench? Oh, they just happen to be the Vodafone Warriors. So you just bring them on when it's league time. Oh, yeah. Sub off the rugby players and sub on. It seems like a great promotional stunt. Well, yeah.

A nightmare. A nightmare for the players, the referee. The people who have come up with this idea, they're not thinking about the actual people who have to execute it on the night. No, but logistically, great idea. I think it's a great idea. Hopefully we'll see that.

Lugby? Lugby. The official name? Lugby. Lugby, I like that. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz.

Yeah, like a bloodthirsty hyena waiting on the hinterlands of Hollywood, producer Julia comes in and strikes with spy, scandal, gossip news. Absolutely. And this song that everyone will know, it's being turned into an animated series on Nickelodeon. So it's going to follow

Baby Shark and his best friend William going around, swimming around their little cove, singing more songs, having a happy old time. And it's going to be 26 episodes beginning this December. Because there's toys now you can buy too that play their noise. I've seen in the shops as well. It spread across the world quicker than a virus

after someone ate a batch of this song, didn't it? Although not to like sort of university students because when we were at the other radio station we were at, me and Sharon came, we had to dress like a costume thing one day. And it was at the height of Baby Shark. We were like, we'll wear our Baby Shark costumes because we've done a video.

We turned up there and all the students were like, why are you in weird sailor outfits? Like no one had any concept of Baby Shark. To be fair, Baby Shark wasn't really, you know,

the university students drinking out of their shoes, not really target market. I was like, oh, okay, that's a bit lame. You come to the right station now, mate. Yeah.

I would go down a real treat at a hits party. You and your family do have a record of dressing up in the wrong sort of situation. Yeah, not reading the vibes. When you said I thought they were doing a series, I thought it was going to be a feature-length film where Baby Shark loses his dad after swimming off the reef but then finds him in an aquarium in San Diego. That could be something.

It's a plot line to a Baby Shark. That's a great idea. It's a plot line to something. Another movie, but anyway. It's a plot line to a baby shark. Great idea. Another movie, but anyway. It's an original score. Finding baby shark. And Harry and Meghan, they have signed to a speaking agency,

one that the Obamas and the Clintons are also signed to. So they will be using that as a way to earn income. How much? How much do you know? No, I don't know. It hasn't been said.

But it has been said that they will not be speaking about any royal issues or any royal gossip, of course. Well, what are you going to talk about? Megan, what have you got, mate? Here's a story about how I ripped a prince away from his family. No, that's a royal issue.

Oh, yeah, she wouldn't even talk about it. What would they talk about? Season three of Suits? Yeah, yeah. I once voiced an elephant documentary for Disney. Yeah, true. But they are releasing that book called Finding Freedom, which will be releasing a lot of secrets about the royal family.

So that'll be the goss one that I'll be for sure reading. You're a big royalist. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Not a big racist, just to be clear. No, no. Big royalist. And then the speaking engagements will just be things for the charities and everything that they already sort of do.

So that'll be cash money in their hands. Nothing. If I give them any more, we've done a few corporate MC events and when they go bad, they go bad. And I would just say to Megan and Harry, be prepared. Because we've had some shockers. I'm sure they're not going out there doing lame jokes or anything. Yeah, no.

And we know when we do our lame jokes, like, you know, in 10 seconds, you're like, oh, this is going to be a long night. This is going to be a long night this is going to be a long night for this travel convention for them and us for more spy you can head to

thehits.co.nz want more Jono and Ben you can catch up with the boys anytime just search Jono and Ben on Facebook the hits

you got Jono and Ben 8.56 oh boo I wanted to hear the rest of that song and you faded it down like a monster. I like Shrek and you've ruined it for me. Why didn't you let the song play out?

Well, I could, but I thought I'd come in and wrap up the show. Otherwise, they'd be like, what happened to Jono and Ben? You know, we do have to wrap up before nine o'clock. Ben, have a great weekend. Thank you guys so much for listening to the show. We'll be back on Monday from six o'clock. Don't forget our cardboard cutouts maybe might make their way back to the studio at some stage.

If they do, we've got five grand to give away. Seems like they're in Auckland over the weekend at Takapuna at the moment. If you want to go see them, go see them now. You can win $5,000. But we'll catch you on Monday as Jono said from 6. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from 6 on The Hits

and via the iHeartRadio app.