Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Male birth control is on the way!

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's Wild Wild Web!  Today we dive into the potential of a new male birth control shoulder gel and nefarious other advancements... See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On today's edition of the Wild Wild Web, Megan? We've all been waiting for it. Dreaming of the day and male birth control is on the way. Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's wide web. A swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle, Jono and Vienna are your fearless guides. Leading you through the wildest parts of the wild, wild web. This is the wild, wild web.

Kia ora, welcome along to another edition of the wild, wild web where we take an actual news story. We talk about that and then we see where the conversation heads to. It's the wildest stuff that we've seen in the last 24 hours on the internet. And Megan, you were just saying there's birth control for males. It looks like it's going to happen finally. I know there's been several tests, but God forbid those other ones have had horrible side effects where you get like migraines and gain weight.

There's the birth control about 15 to 20 years of marriage. Yeah, it's normally a good indication when things stop, you know. So it looks like, I mean, we're not going to get this till 2030, but what do you think? It's not a pill. What do you think? Injection? It's not an injection. Castration.

I mean, all of these things that women deal with. Yeah, yeah. A pill, an injection, implants. Hey, hey, hey, this isn't going to be some passive aggressive. Implants in your arm, implants up other areas. I mean, all of those things are options. Yeah, well, but I mean, in this instance, you're the problem because you're the one who starts making the baby.

We just start chucking it everywhere. What are those things when people get injured in the war, like a tourniquet or whatever it is? They tie a thing around their arm to stop the bleed. Is it like one of those around your testicles? I wish it was. And you're like, oh, that's tight. But then anyway, is that kind of...

I feel like... They're sheep too, don't they? And they eventually lose blood flow. The thing is with a male contraception, there's not the same incentive for you to really worry about it because it doesn't necessarily affect you physically like it does us if we don't know what i'm saying yeah i see what you're saying but then at the same time it does in the

you know yeah i mean but you can run away and pretend it never happened essentially you'd be a horrible human being if you do if you did so but uh so they had to make it something that would be easy and very low like side effects and that kind of thing they've come up with a shoulder gel literally get like a shoulder massage just rub a bit of gel on your shoulder yeah rub that in just like a cream to rub into your skin and you have to rub that into us just why is that not an option if it's for the females that seems really like injections horrible pills that make you feel yuck you got the world's best scientists like guys we need to work on this oh shoulder rub we're nice get a shoulder

yeah that sounds like a shoulder gel i'm with you on this one i just think that well if it's working for one why doesn't work for the other yeah the shoulder gel yeah i don't know yeah i mean i don't know the science behind it but hey if it makes you do it then that would be great 2030 is what they're looking at for that. It's a while away. Interesting. I don't understand how that technology would work, that you're rubbing something into your shoulder.

You sure need to be rubbing it downstairs. It must be like a hormone blocker or... It seems like it could. Well, you can't block testosterone. I don't know. And if you're rubbing it into your shoulder, you can rub it anywhere. Maybe it's not recommended to rub on your balls. Maybe it's very strong yeah yeah

well there you go there we go it's happening it's happening but not for a while yeah a real robot store anywhere in the future one of your ai and rubbing it on you well no just that would be like oh they'll probably like take our place anyway so the ai robots are having you know you're like oh sweet how was it all right yeah one i just think the robots are having, you know, you're like, oh, sweet. How was it? Robot sperm. Yeah. One, I just think the robots are probably doing it as us. Would you make love to a robot if it became normal? Yeah, probably. Because they'd just end up looking the same, wouldn't they? Yeah.

Would you be weird if Andrew... Don't judge me. You're just blow-up dolls. I'm not judging. I'm not judging. So Andrew brings home a robot, gorgeous looking robot. How would you feel about that? This was a TV show.

Do you remember that? I think it was called Humans. And there was a beautiful robot and everyone had like a robot in their household. And I think, I feel like the husband kind of fell in love with the beautiful robot. But the robots were very human-like. Right. Not all those robot cleaners and stuff. But that could be our future.

Very well could be. Sorry about our friend's mum. They had a robot cleaner. You know, one of those ones that goes be our future. Very well could be. Sorry about our friend's mum. They had a robot cleaner, one of those ones that goes around the house, the vacuum cleaner. Like a robo-vac. Yeah. But then I think the cat had had a big accident on the carpet

and just smeared crap all over the house for like eight hours. Came home and it was everywhere. That's the downside of those. I think technology's moved on a bit from that now. Oh, and you're not making love to the robo-vac. I mean, you could. That's the downside of those. I think technology's moved on a bit from that now. Oh, and you're not making love to the robo-vac, are you? I mean, you could, no judgement. Well, a vacuum cleaner's been... there's a lot of rumours over the years about people trying it on with vacuum cleaners.

I've never once stuck my dick into a vacuum cleaner. Thank you for that. That just seems like... no. Thank you for the clarification. Yeah, never. Never. It feels like it's a movie thing. Seems aggressive. Yeah. And it's so aggressive for me, I think.

Means minds, though. You see an orifice and you're like, yes. Yeah. Or you wonder. There's some saying, isn't there, about something and a goal? Yeah. And it's true for a lot of people. How would you feel about the glory hole I find a risky act?

Remember that? It was like a hole in the toilet wall. And you have to be very trusting. You have no idea who or what is on the other side. You put yourself in a very vulnerable situation. I guess that's probably the excitement of it, right? Could go bad. Yeah, jeez.

I think in those places, you'd think it wouldn't be. Everyone's kind of there for the same thing, aren't they? A glorious time in that situation, I'm guessing. That's your thing? And everyone's all up for it, then okay. Yeah. Each to their own. Obviously you have to go to Bunnings beforehand

to drill the glory hole into the wall. So don't you want one of those circular... How do you even find out about them? I guess you have to be in certain places. I don't know. Apparently, there were toilets nearby this building here, which were a frequent meeting place. Really?

Yeah, and they'd stamp out that behavior. Oh, really? In the toilets. But I guess if you're in the community, you probably know. Yeah. Where you need to go. Yeah, yeah. Where you need to go to do your things.

You know about it? Yeah. If you walk, people just using those bathrooms. Oh, this is a bit... Imagine if you're sitting down and all of a sudden one of those pops through the wall. Oh, are we too vanilla? Maybe we're too vanilla. Maybe we are.

Well, work toilets are definitely quite vanilla. There's no holes in the men's work toilets here? No, there isn't. Well, I've seen. Not that I've seen, but hey. I mean, what you could do if someone put it through, you could put the toilet roll on it, you know? Just funny. Would we get in trouble just for a bit of a stunt

we've made a hole in the wall? Oh, that would be. That would get a lot of talk around the building. What's the cubicle? Yeah. That would get a lot of talk around the building, that would. We'll just take a quick break from the Wild Wild Web and we'll be back after this.

Welcome back. Oh, my God. Speaking of appendages I got lost in a Timu hole yesterday Because remember I said Let's go home and see what the weirdest thing We can find on Timu There was a lot of unusual stuff

Crazy stuff Some stuff of adult nature Which surprised me the first time I went on there You can fry your eggs into the shape of one That's funny That's fun That's very good for a hen's weekend Which surprised me the first time I went on there. You can fry your eggs into the shape of one. Oh, yeah. That's funny. Yeah. That's fun.

That's good for a hen's weekend. After a hen's. Yeah, that's a nice little gift there. This I found really interesting. So you know your humble light switch? Yeah. You can buy a little... Would we say that's little?

That's quite... A decoration that you can stick on top of the actual switch part. And give it a little... Would we say that's little? That's quite... A decoration that you can stick on top of the actual switch part. And give it a little... I don't know. Who's put that all around their house? That's probably like... I think flats would be fun. Yeah.

Hence, you know, hence we hand away. We're going away. We're putting penises everywhere, you know. What I didn't get was this one. So it was like a banana, but it's kind of given birth to a duck. So the top half is a duck and the bottom half is a banana. I don't know. There's no part of it that makes sense to me.

What is it, though? Yeah, what is it for? Just ornaments. It's like an ornament. Decoration. An ornament. So it's got duck feet, then a banana, but the duck is inside the banana peel. So you've got the duck head coming out of a banana peel.

I don't know what the connection is. Well, I can't see a connection. Well, no, just the've got the duck head coming out of a banana peel. I don't know what the connection is. Well, I can't see a connection. Well, no, just the neck of the duck. It does look similar to a banana. Well, it's a goose, isn't it? It's white. Oh, maybe it is a goose. It looks like a goose neck that looks like the banana.

Surely there's got to be some tie. Yeah. It's Teemu, mate. I don't know if there is. They're hocking it off a $3.93 product, and away you go. You can buy it. What do you think is the best thing you'd purchase off the internet? I don't know.

I haven't bought too many. I've been tempted so many times. The amount of times I've seen that garlic press, I really want it. It's like a rocking one. You rock it over the garlic. Oh, yeah. That looks quite handy. You'll get it.

Why won't you get it? It's $4. Can I forward it to you? I don't want to start a Teemo account. We bought the, for the kids the other day, we bought off a Teemo as well. It's like toilet paste,

a toilet, you put your toothpaste in there and it comes, but it's like the end of a dog's butt. So your toothpaste comes out through the dog's butt. It's a bit confronting though. So you put the, I see,

so you put your toothpaste in it and then you squeeze it and it pops out through the hole. So it's just half a dog. You put it on the end of the toothpaste. I've got to use it in my own. It's a bit confronting. I don't know.

It feels a bit weird squeezed out through. Oh, my God. I'm getting, oh, no. There's so many things I don't need but I want. On Timu, yeah. Yeah. There is probably no product. Solar deck lights?

You couldn't find them on that website. For $10? Yeah. They look pretty fancy. Crazy. Yeah look pretty fancy. Crazy. Yeah, and cheap. Oh, a rolling egg storage box. I've seen these on TikTok.

Have you seen these? It's like a tower and you put your eggs in, you pull one out and they go roll down. I had to return an item because I didn't need it the other day. So I got to this place and it was next to a truck, kind of by the airport where you have to return stuff. But it was quite weird. There was a whole lot of machinery and things going on. And I was like, I'm here to return something for Timu at this point. He told me to go.

And they were like, yeah, just around the corner. And there was like a box next to a wall. And it was just a sign saying Timu returns. And you just put your thing in a box. You're like, oh. Like a cardboard box. Yeah, a cardboard box. No one manning it.

No nothing. It was just like, but next to what didn't look like anything to do with Timu or anything at all. Just like a giant building site. Yeah. Question. It was a box. But then in the end, like an hour later, I got a little thing saying, hey, we've rogged your return and it's all good. Two questions now.

Yeah, it was weird. Could you take something out of that box? Oh, potentially, I guess you could have. But there was people doing stuff around there. Yeah, but there was people. Non-Timu related things. There was a guy driving a forklift. No, I mean like someone else's return.

You're like, I'll put my one in, but I'm going to take a lucky dick of what. I imagine there could be some people who could have done that. Other question is, people are buying things for like $4 and it's coming from China and then potentially they're like,

oh, I don't want it. I heard they have a warehouse here. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's why it arrived so quickly. So maybe that's where it goes from the warehouse or maybe that's connected to the warehouse. I just they have a warehouse here. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's why it arrived so quickly. So maybe that's where it goes from the warehouse or maybe that's connected to the warehouse. I just found it quite unusual.

No reception. No, you could send things back if you bought it for like five bucks. Yeah. What did you return? Oh, some of the kids bought and then they were like, I don't want it anymore.

And then they'd already clicked through to get the refund. They were like, we already logged the refund. I'm like, oh, geez, well, I've got to take the thing out now. I was just like, yeah. So I had to take it out. So they've already been bugging been you want me long your refunds when you learn how to drive yeah so

it was one of those things that fell on me but yeah so i to be honest i can't remember what it was i just knew i had to take a package out to this place by the airport but it was handy it was handy yeah oh this cool nut cracker i don't even eat nuts that you need to crack that looks cool what do you think is the most pain in the arse thing you have to do for your children? Everything. Over the years. Well, yeah, you at the moment, you're doing everything. Yeah. Sort of driving around at the moment. It's great when they can

get the bus and stuff too, or they walk places now by themselves, but places further distance and stuff. As soon as they get their licence though, you're going to be like, you'll miss them. Yeah, yeah, true. Absolutely. You've got to enjoy every moment. You're not that far away from that. It's amazing that they want to spend time with you at the moment. I like sometimes

sporting things an hour away, an hour and a half away. You're driving, but then you're right. Ten years, I'm going to miss those moments. Well, they may not end up playing sport. You get to an age where a lot of people don't play sport. So lap it up. When you're driving

an hour with your son, is it quiet or are you like having DNA in the car? Yeah, he's really obsessed with,

it's very cute, just the universe and he is like researches it like, honestly, we can get him on space,

universe, galaxies, how far it's to travel Between galaxies And he's just like Last night before he goes to bed He's like You know what

I've just realised I'm just a speck I know yeah His place in the world Is really dawning on him So a lot And he'll just We should get him on air

He'll just rattle off So much stuff About space And he just Researches on YouTube And reads stuff So that's interesting. Like if there's any

quiet conversation he'll just start spouting off facts about space. I do love space stuff. I love NASA. Yeah, when you think about how small we are

in comparison to this whole universe. Oh, absolutely. And you're like, it's actually too much to think about. That's why, because he's quite a thinker.

And that's why I think it's quite daunting for him. He's like, it's just never ending. And we don't put too much thought into it, the average person. I'm sure the people at NASA do. That's why I've always liked it, though. Because if you're ever having problems or if you're feeling down,

I like to think about space because then you're like, well, I'm just a tiny speck. My problems are really insignificant in the whole scheme of things. That's what I like about it. It goes on forever. It goes on forever. It goes on forever. You don't even know where to start talking about this box. And what the possibilities are of, probably not us in our lifetime, but are people going to live there?

I know they're talking about sending up AI robots to kind of do drilling. Not the one I'm making love to the robot no standing a robot up there to hump the moon

just like what are you doing up there mate boom boom boom are you drilling making a glory hole in the moon that's the first thing

we need to do the ultimate glory hole Barry do we set up the sex robot the sex robot I turned the moon crater into a glory hole Barry do we set up the sex robot the sex robot I turned the moon crater into a glory hole oh my god

it's a bit big but we're giving it a shot we need you to drill for water and things like that well you're there getting your T-Mu packets

there we go we've come full circle that's funny to a whole lot of things there we go we better move on we've got an interview to do yeah

alright good luck have a great day