Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - March 01 - Can We Handle HOT HOT CHILLIES?

Episode Date: March 2, 2021

Ah another change in Alert levels here in NZ! Hope everyone is coping ok. Today we caught up with Dr Siouxsie Wiles on the latest outbreak and what we can expect moving forward. On the weekend we had to eat some of the hottest chillies (lord help us, still struggling) and we wanted to know whether anyone else has ever eaten crazy foods like that. Ben also went to a friend's house for some family drinks on Saturday night (pre changes in alert levels), but he got completely lost on the way there and ended up making a bit of a fool out of himself...! Enjoy the poddy, stay safe and stay sanitised!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings, friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. It's the podcast intro for the 1st of March, it's a Monday. How do you think the show went today, Ben? It was interesting. It's kind of surreal again, because New Zealand's obviously back into new alert levels.

Alert level three for Auckland, alert level two for the rest of New Zealand. So it kind of feels just a bit surreal coming to the office. There's no one around. There's only just us. There's the two of us and producer Juliet and producer Humphries in our own little bubble. But no one else is in the building. So it kind of just feels weird. And what more do you want, mate?

You've got your tight-knit group here. Oh, no, I love it. I love our group, but it just always, you just asked me how it was. It just feels a bit weird. It does feel weird, you're right. I think it's the unsettling not knowing what's coming next. And, you know, we're sitting here in New Zealand going, oh, we're locked down for a week.

There's people who have been locked down for a year. And we're very fortunate we get to come in and to broadcast. You know, it's very unsettling for a lot of other people there, you know, juggling jobs and can't go into work. And if you've got a business, you know, a restaurant, or are you putting on an event? I mean, we're really feeling for those people right now. It's the planning, isn't it?

Yeah. Because if you did have a massive event when can you even postpone it till well that's the safe zone you say we'll do it next month you're like what's next month gonna be like it might be fine it might not be so it's a yeah it's already a huge gamble putting on an event without covid let alone trying to navigate when you can safely do it so yes thoughts with everyone out there uh today on the show we actually did open up uh thanks to covid the community notice board to give people the opportunity to say Hey the

The Tiddlywinks champs In Milton have been postponed Till mid April Things like that No one actually phoned up from the Tiddlywinks champs Are they still going? Is Tiddlywinks when you clip the side of that circle disc I think you do your like

And it pops I haven't had a good game of Tiddlywinks for a number of years When was the I think you do, you like clip and you try and make it land into the... That's right. I haven't had a good game of Tiddlywinks for a number of years. When was the last time you played Tiddlywinks? No, I couldn't. It would have been at least over a decade, if not longer. Yeah, great game. It's quite a lot of skill too because you just had to nip that edge, didn't you?

I remember a classic quote from Tana Umanga, a legendary all-black rugby player, and the ref had a chat to him, and you could hear on the microphone and the ref's like, oh mate, you know, the bit of such and such sorted out, and he's like, oh come on mate, we're not here to play tiddlywinks.

And I was like, well that's true, they're not. They weren't there to play tiddlywinks. Who said that? Tana said. Tana did that, that's such a good line from him. We're not here to play tiddlywinks. So it's alright, he's like, hey mate, it's just part and parcel of the rugby game, I think was basically what he meant. Do you know the set-up time for tiddlywinks. Yeah. Yeah. So it's all right. He's like, hey, mate, it's just part and parcel of the rugby game, I think was basically what he meant. Do you know the set-up time for tiddlywinks, they say here on the website?

One minute. Skills required, strategy and physical skill. Your fingers are more needed. Physical fingers, don't you? Your fingers get a bit of a workout with tiddlywinks. Yeah. Maybe we should do some tiddlywinks. We've got a bit of time on our hands right now.

We could be doing some tiddlywinks. Also on the podcast today, the weirdest thing we've ever taken part in over the weekend. A competition, not tiddlywinks. And he hosted Norgie Winks. Yeah, that was strange. It was weirder than that. It was. You'll find out what it is on the podcast.

Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office, those two. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Now, on Saturday, Jono and I, we took part. We were doing some filming for something that's coming up later in the year. We took part in a chilli eating competition. And there was no part of my body that regrets that now. But, gee whiz. Wow.

My stomach is weak, much like my mind. I'm a very weak individual, but I can't handle out there foods. And we would play audio of us eating this, but I listen back to it, and it's basically just us going, choking. You couldn't talk. Your tongue, these chillies were so hot, it felt like your tongue was kidnapped by 49 daggers just stabbing at your mouth it was pretty unbelievable so you had to have these chilies around by round and then you would have

to chew them for 30 seconds before swallowing them and so my my taste buds in all seriousness they're not right this is two days later like i had i had a beer on saturday night afterwards i was like oh it tastes sweet and then the coffee the next morning, I was like, oh, this coffee tastes sweet. There's no, like, it's just not right. They just haven't quite got back into kilter. You know when you restart

your computer, it feels like that's happened to our taste buds. Taste buds. You couldn't talk. It's just like a pool of saliva in your mouth. There's just so much pain

and you're just trying to fight through these ridiculously hot chillies as you're trying to eat them. My mouth will never forgive me for what I did to it on Saturday. And I pulled out like third in. Ben, you did a bit better than me.

People were still going 14 chillies in. There's the hottest one in the world, apparently I thought it was the hottest one in the world, there's ghost pepper one. People just eat them whole. And there's a level above that that they got to. And you're like, after having experienced the little bit that we did, and you're watching these people do it later,

you're like, stop, just stop. Just stop. You can you're watching these people do it later, you're like, stop. Just stop. Just stop. You can't imagine what it's doing to their body. But people love it. I guess it's a really, it's like probably doing a marathon. It's like, how far can you push yourself to do these things? That's not healthy, is it?

No, my body's scared to part with what's inside it. Oh, really? Yeah, it's still frightened. We're all wandering around like a very fragile individual right now. But we wanted to open up this this morning. Because they keep scaring us, too. Sorry, they were like, oh, you wait till the middle of the night. There'll be cramps.

There'll be all sorts. Oh, yeah, you'll be rolling around in the fetal position. Oh, stop. And I just kept going, why do you do this to yourselves? They're like, oh, we love it. We love it. It's like a $200 bar tab or something. And some hot sauce.

And some hot sauce, ironically. You know that thing you just eaten, do you want more of it? So what we want to open up this morning on 0800 The Hits is Crazy Cuisine. Sorry, we rehearsed this. Crazy Cuisine! You just phone us on 0800 The Hits and you tell us

the crazy cuisine you've tasted. Either on your travels, I know the Wild Foods Festival, they have a whole bunch of crazy cuisine. If it's got a reproductive organ, you can eat it at the Wild Foods Festival, can't you? Even things over, has anyone ever had tequila with a worm? Like, that's something that they do overseas, right?

What was the worm in there for? I don't know. It felt like back in the day, somehow a worm had snuck into the bottle during the production line and they said, oh no, it's a thing. These things happen. So we put worms in everything. So 0800 the hits. Okay. What is the

craziest cuisine you've eaten? Have you gone, you've eaten a bit of stuff in your time, haven't you? Yeah, well the chilli thing would have to be up there. Yeah. Let me have a think about it. I'll come back to you with everyone else in the next song. All right.

How's that sound? That's all right. You want to come back with the people, dear? He's a man of the people. He's not going to out topic the people now. I'll come in when they come in.

That's right. All right. He's not above you. That's for sure. Oh, under the hits, 4487 on the text. What's the craziest cuisine

you've ever had? Jessie, you're on from Christchurch yep what's your crazy cuisine probably not as crazy as eating

bugs or stuff and tequila but while I was pregnant I had a craving for feta cheese and peanut butter together

together would you spread the peanut butter on top of the feta cheese or mix it all together no no you spread the peanut butter on top of the feta cheese? Or mix it all together? No, no, you spread the peanut butter on a piece of bread and then you crumble feta cheese over the top. Oh!

My wife, her craving was the juice of a gherkin. The gherkin juice. The juice of a gherkin. She would go to the fridge and open up the jars. Oh, she's going to have a gherkin. Oh no, she's going to have a wee sip. And juice of a Gurkin. She would go to the fridge and open up the jars. Oh, she's going to have a Gurkin. Oh, no, she's going to have a wee sip. And drink it like a glass.

Yeah, that was for a little bit. For like a week, that was her craving. I was like, oh, okay. Would you have to juice the Gurkin? Oh, no, they come in their own, you know, like the liquid. Oh, the leftover brine. Yeah, the brine of the Gurkin. You're like, oh, okay, this is an interesting thing.

But obviously that's what she was craving. Would she continue to drink Gurkin juice to this day? No, I haven't seen her to this day have Gurkin juice. I can see there's a part of you like, oh, okay, this is an interesting thing. But obviously that's what she was craving. Would she continue to drink gherkin juice to this day? No, I haven't seen her to this day have gherkin juice. I can see there's a part of you like, oh, it's not bad. But having litres of it. How much do you need of like a jar a day sort of thing? No, just like little sips, you know. We spoke to a lady once when she was pregnant. She would eat bloody cold water surf.

Washing powder. Washing powder was her craving. With a spoon. She'd sit on her couch with a pack of cold water surf, just spooning. Not recommended. How did they not kill her? I don't know. Out of our business to go, not recommended.

I don't know if anyone's thinking, maybe I will sit down this afternoon and watch some Netflix with that cold water surf. No, don't do it. Yeah, so she would not eat food. Just that. That is crazy. Cleanest insides.

Her insides were as bright as white. So I tell you, we'll go to Mel from Tauranga. Welcome. Hello. Crazy Cuisine. My crazy cuisine is tripe. What is tripe? I've heard of tripe. Okay. Tripe is

stomach lining. That sounds nice. How do you have it? It's delicious. I cook it up with my grandma. We're the only ones in the family that like it. And we just eat it with sweet chili sauce. So it sounds like the leftover stuff you get from a butcher's or stuff like that,

but you actually, like, you can eat it up. Yeah. It's the first or second stomach of a cow. Wow. Okay. You've kind of thrown us with this one. Try it. So you'd recommend it?

You think it's good? I recommend it. Do you fry it? Yeah, you can do a few things with it. Do you think it's one of those things that, because I find with a lot of food, sometimes it's your brain. It's the mind over matter thing, right?

Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like blue cheese, you know? Like, if you don't think about it too much, it's delicious. Yeah, it looks like organs on a plate. Just imagine pink organs dumped on a plate. Oh, yeah. And that's what you're eating.

Well, good on you, Mel. We talk a load of tripe every morning, don't we? Yeah, that's normally where I hear tripe mentioned, but not so much with people eating it. We'll go to Mary. You're on from Christchurch. More in a Mary. Crazy Cuisine.

What have you eaten? I was at a Japanese market a few years ago, and I ate tuna eyeballs. That's the thing. As overseas, you can eat all sorts of wild stuff, but I don't know who made us over here the police of what you can and can't eat. Yeah.

Because we're like, oh, you're eating guinea pig over there, but we eat cows here. Yeah, it feels like... They don't eat cows in India. Exactly. So you're right, Jono. It depends on what country you're in.

It's like a whole different ball game, right? Eyeball game, in fact. Here, Mary, tuna eyeballs. Describe the taste and texture. Well, texture was oddly enough what you would expect. But the taste I currently remember, it was kind of like sour and kind of buttery at the same time. But there were so many things at the market that I went to

that I didn't try. I was just, I don't know why I made a beeline for the eyeballs. That's what I was going to try. It sounds like a buffet of radio stunts. It does. Yeah. Hey, good on you, Mary. Have a great day.

Thank you very much for your calls. Morning. This show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Now, Julia Morris, she's one of Australia's top comedians. She's also the host of Australia's TV show, I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. You've probably seen that on New Zealand TV as well.

And what I love about that show, she does these amazing, funny intros, introing herself each week. Hi, I'm Dr Chris Brown. Oh, and I'm Professor Julia Morris. Hi, I'm Dr Chris Brown. And so am I. And I'm Kylie Minogue's body double, Julia Morris. Hi, I'm Dr Chris Brown. And so am I. And I'm Kylie Minogue's body double, Julia Morris.

And I'm the hologram of Julia... J... J... J... J... Morris. And I am she who shall not be named. And I'm a nut that may contain traces of Julia Morris. And I'm insert joke here, Julia Morris. She's very good, eh? She is. She's very funny.

And she's just, which is timely as well, given a lot of self-help required during this period in history. And she's released a self-help book, but it's kind of a bit of a piss-taking self-help book, isn't it? Yeah, a comedy book. But actually some of the advice that I was reading, it could actually be quite helpful. Julia Morris Makes It Easy is the name of the self-help book.

You can get it on Audible right now. And she joins us over Zoom. How's it going, Julia? It's such a pleasure. Thanks for having me on. I'm thrilled. Now, Julia Morris makes it easy. It's a new Audible book.

It's kind of, I guess it's a bit of a piss take on a self-help book. Is that right? That's exactly right. Look, last year during the old 33-week lockdown, I was at home with my current husband, Dan, and we were talking about what about celebrities who feel like they need to give people life advice, like a special undercarriage candle.

We thought she should have rebranded that candle the Vagandal. Yeah. And who wants the odour of that? Yeah, it's an unusual, but anyway. I can't light it up. I mean, why wouldn't you? So you decided with your husband to make a bit of a self-help book, which is now available on Audible, right?

Yeah, so am I, wait, should I be revealing all of this? Like I'm a person who loves to agree to everything and then I cancel. Your theory is just agree and then later on you cancel on the day. So rather than having that awkward face-to-face conversation, oh, I can't make it. You never have to have that conversation. And there's a specific moment to cancel as well. It's after you've had your shower when you still think you're going.

Oh, yeah. And then you're just like, oh, my God, I am so unwell. Or I'm still in Adelaide. The good thing part of the book is that there's some suggestions to build an excuse generator. So you press the excuse generator. It gives you the excuse. You make the call.

Then guess what? Because you thought you were going out, you've got nothing on now. You stay home the whole night with no plans. Oh, and you can hide from the children. It's the best of times. You just pretend you're out anyway. But it's actually called the EASY system because EASY is an acronym. E is what?

E is for expectations and lowering them, as in delete your hopes and dreams. Because the lower your expectations, the more success you're going to have in every single day. That's good, yeah. You're like an anti-Oprah Winfrey. I like this. What's the A part of easy? The A is arm yourself because people aren't going to enjoy it.

Get ready to fight. God, I've had some good fights. Well, you have. You're quite vocal against some people that have trolled you on TV and stuff like that. You've been quite vocal. I like to go to their office. No, just turn up at the office and that's kind of this fine line

between trolling because they're trolling but I like to bully. So then I will go to their office and bully them to pay them back for being a troll. Oh, yeah. Then the S is stop. Stop doing all the stuff you don't want to do and I'm going to let you know how to do that within this easy system. And then the Y, stand by, is for yippee.

The yippee is the celebration when you don't have to do any of that ridiculous stuff like rearing your children that you had to do in days gone by. It's going to get you a big window into just making it all about you. Now, be honest with us, Julia. When you got to why, were you really struggling to find a word to represent why? I've got Julia Morris with us from Australia. Now, do you find the longer you've spent on this earth, the less tolerance you have for other human beings? Oh, God, yeah.

I mean, I hate everyone. The good news is you can turn that into cash. I mean, I love my family, but I do love cash. Yeah, cash is far better than children, isn't it? Oh, that's the best. I mean, children. Talk about the world. It's like running the world's most ungrateful hotel. Only you do all the jobs and there's no pay. You're like a PA. We've seen you're like an unpaid PA with your kids, right?

Yeah. Dropping them off, picking them up. I've decided I'm going to get a little trolley and call it mum cha. Because you know when you're trying to feed the kids, you're like, oh, do you want some toast? No. Would anyone like some avocado? No.

Maybe I can make you some cereal. No. Can I do eggs? No. Would anyone like some avocado? No. Maybe I can make you some cereal? No. Can I do eggs? No. That's a very good point. The other night, and they can never decide what they want to eat, and they never syncs up. And so there was a point there where I was like,

okay, I'm going to go to four different takeaways to try and satisfy everyone there. And I was like, this is ludicrous. What am I doing? Stop the madness. I know. Can you imagine if we said that to our parents, by the way? I know our general, we are not a dominant, a lot older than you guys,

but can you imagine saying that to our parents? Yeah, I know. I mean, literally, a Le Snack would have been thrown at me and made me one of those small wooden spoons. That's about it. You're lucky to have that. The old Le Snacks really stuck it out through them. Our problem with the Le Snack, though, is the cookie-to-dip ratio

has always been off. Yeah. It's not ideal. I mean, that's what I call being scabby. Dish in the good stuff. Like, why give us double the amount of the healthy stuff and then only like, oh, oh, four shaving whispers, you know, like it's truffle oil.

It's a cheese sauce. Now, Julia Morris makes it easy On Audible right now Sounds very entertaining Thank you so much for your time We're big fans And it's been awesome Chatting to you

You guys Thank you for having me on I'm so thrilled Thank you Good on you Julia Julia Morris She's really funny She's great

Aussie comedian Yes very funny We apologise in advance Sorry about that Sorry about that Sorry to rope you into this Sorry you've been dragged into this. Jono and Pam.

Breakfast on the heads. The heads. The heads. Good news. She got her bulldogs back. Her French bulldogs, didn't she, Lady Gaga? Yeah, they were taken. They were kidnapped on Friday, New Zealand time.

But over the weekend, she got them back, which was pretty awesome. How were they returned? They were tied to a post somewhere around the place, basically. Did the kidnappers get the money they were after? I'm not sure about that. She put quite a big reward out on there. Half a million dollars or something. And I think some lady got their reward for saying where the dogs were or something.

Returned with no questions asked. Yeah, which is pretty awesome. I feel like questions should be asked. I understand. She just wants the dogs back. But her dog will be shot. Yeah. I'll ask some questions.

That's why we've got some questions. I've got some questions. Who the hell shot me? Can we figure that out? Yeah, that's a great question. Glad you got your dogs back, though. Over the weekend, I had an incident happen to me on Friday night. I went to visit some friends who had moved into a new house.

And I did the, where you put the address in your phone, you trust your phone, knows where it's going. You trust your phone. You just never put your own. And so I got all the way to their house. This is the right address, the right street. Went up to the door, knocked on the door. And it was a new house, hadn't been there before. And some guy opened the door and I thought the guy was playing a joke on me. I'm like, hey, Ben here, blah, blah. And he's like, no. I'm like, good one, mate.

Can I come in? He's like, no. I'm like, oh. No, you strange man. And I'm like, wow, he's really committed to this. If this is a joke, he's really committed to it. Sorry, whose house were you going to? A friend of mine.

So he wasn't my friend. So I was like, oh, I'm here to see blah, blah, blah. Oh, you thought he had just answered the door. He's like, not this house So I was like, oh, I'm here to see blah, blah, blah. Oh, you thought he had just come out the door. He's like, not this house. I was like, oh. And so sort of, you know, you're a little bit rattled by that. You're like, well, Google told me it was. Google's never lied to me.

And so I was like, oh, okay, sorry. So I went back to the car and had a look at my phone. And what I'd done, it was, there was two streets with exactly the same name in Auckland, but totally different suburbs. So I'd put in the right, I was the right, the right number, the right street. You'd done nothing wrong.

Totally, but the wrong suburb. I could see why this was so confusing for the guy. It's, I mean, it's a really humbling experience when you get lost, even when Google Maps is telling you where to go. I got to the right place, yeah. And I must look like such an idiot with the guy going, you're right, mate, let me in.

And he's like, no. Why would I let you in? And you're asking for someone else? What is this deal you want done? Yeah, but it can be a very confusing situation, that, when you trust you're putting your faith in a machine. I've no good at, I can't read Google Maps. You know when I have to sit in the passenger seat

and tell you where to go, Ben, I'm no good at that. Oh, you're like, left. Oh, back there. Left at 10. No, no, no. Do your turn. Yeah, no, I always panic following Google Maps. Are you good with maps, Ju?

Yeah, but I pride myself on my sense of direction. But that's very surprising, that situation, that the two suburbs, or the two street names are both in Auckland. Because, you know, you might Google search one address and there might be one in Texas, the same name. And that's kind of, but you're obviously not going to Texas. So you obviously click the one in Auckland or New Zealand. That always confuses me too when Google Maps is like, would you like to go to Philadelphia?

No. Surely it's 2021, you can zero in on the rough wheelhouse Of where I want to go It's quite a long flight But I remember my sister The first time she came out To visit me in Auckland I was like Take the exit at Simon Street

On the motorway And then she called me And she's like I'm on the North Shore You're like what? Where are you? I was like Do you see Simon Street?

She's like No I saw Simmons Street But I never Oh jeez That's the same thing It's Simon Street It's Simon Street What would you, geez, that's the same thing. You know, it's Simon Street or Simmons Street. What would you not know? Even though the universe has made it impossible for us to get lost,

we still managed to do it. Still finding it. Well done us. Well done us. They'll never be able to tell us where to go and how to get there correctly. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Everyone talking today about the change in alert levels.

Auckland alert level 3, rest of New Zealand at alert level 2. Yeah, and you'll know her from being on the news 25 hours a day. She's our favourite epidemiologist. Just don't tell the other epidemiologists we said that. Dr Susie Wiles, welcome. Good morning. Good morning to you. Interview number what this morning?

Only number 2 this morning. Oh, okay. Who was before us? I was on breakfast. Oh, breakfast. Okay, not bad. Number two off the rack. I'm happy to go behind a John Campbell and a Jay May.

How are you, Susie? Oh, I think I'm like everyone else, a bit tired. Yeah, a never-ending cycle. Yeah. I suppose you were the same. It felt like Saturday night when you heard the press conference was coming up. You're like, oh, this can't be good. It's not going to be Jacinda saying, congratulations, everything's going great, is it?

Just thought I'd have a fun nine o'clock press conference. So how long do you think this lockdown is going to last? Any idea? It really, really depends on just how many cases have been sparked by the person being out in the community for a week while infectious, really. It's so tricky about this virus, and especially these new, more infectious variants, is that some people don't infect anybody,

others start off chains of transmission that can result in like tens or hundreds of infections none of that is a reason for us to give up right we we see what happens when you give up by looking overseas and it's and it and it's lots of people dead and lots of people with long-term illness so we just have to stay the course and i guess the question is whether whether we are happy to stay the course for a little longer and it might be longer than needed or whether we try and do something short and then end up having to do another lockdown if it was too short. Yeah, well, that was a question we wanted to ask you.

Was the last lockdown in Auckland for three days, in hindsight, was that too short? You know, you see those things happening in MIQ where people get negative, negative, negative test, and then on day 10 or 11, they get a positive test. Yeah, so I was certainly, day three was saying I would have liked us to have stayed in a little longer because they were still waiting for some test results. But by the time they came back at the weekend, everything had been negative. You know, the wastewater sampling was showing there wasn't a

big outbreak so it looked like it was the size that um you know just using contact tracing and testing and isolation i would be able to to sort out and it would have been had uh the people been isolating um and this is the really tricky thing right is that people have to follow the rules um and before we get really i think everyone has every right to be frustrated when people aren't following the rules but there's a couple of things we really need to remember and one is that you know there is huge amounts of misinformation about the virus that's been circulating for the last year so we will definitely have people who you, have been told by their social media, by people they trust that, you know,

this is all just a big scam or, you know, it's not that serious if you're a young person. So we kind of have to, you know, bear that in mind, I think. And we also have to bear in mind that we do not want to create an environment where people who've done the wrong thing don't come forward for testing or don't you know aren't honest with contact tracers about where they've been and who they've been with that would be an absolute disaster for us and you always and

you've always got to really think about have you been the utmost perfect citizen when it comes to contact tracing in the way that you behave. Are you asking Susie this or what? I'm sure Susie's been fine. But hey, me on the other hand. But it's a timely reminder that you really do need to keep on top of that stuff and do stick by the rules

because this is obviously a catastrophic outcome for the economy. What is the early signs, Susie? Are we looking at a big outbreak, you think? Not scaremonger. Too long to say at the economy. What is the early signs, Susie? Are we looking at a big outbreak, you think? Not scaremonger. Too much to say at the moment. So that's what the wider testing is all about. So what we really, really need is anybody

who has any symptoms that could be COVID-19. And that's not just you have like, you know, a cold, runny nose. You know, if you have that, still get tested. But it's things like muscle ache and dizziness and headaches and fatigue. So people who just think, oh, maybe I overdid it exercising yesterday or maybe I had a bit too much to drink. Those are not reasons not to get tested.

We've got Dr. Susie Wilds with us. Where are things at with the vaccinations? I mean, when do you think roughly the general public might be able to start getting the jab? Well, that is all dependent on whether or when we can get vaccines here. So we know that one has already been approved in New Zealand. That's the Pfizer BioNTech one, which we've had two shipments of so far. And that's the one that's currently being rolled out to our border workers and people working in managed isolation and their families. We don't have enough of that to vaccinate everybody. So we've got a couple, well, three other vaccines, actually, that we've been looking at.

And what we have to remember is that there is, you know, globally a massive, massive need for vaccines. And in many countries, a much bigger need than we have. That's right. So, you know, there are people, there are countries where there are, you know, hundreds to thousands of people dying every day. And we just have to be mindful that while we want them

so we can go about our lives, actually, morally, there is a much greater need in other places. Dr Susie Wilds, before we go, the least important question but something that I wanted to ask anyway you obviously have distinctive pink hair. Is that an essential item and how do you go getting that through lockdown?

I mean where do you go? You got enough to supply? You panic buy some pink hair dye or anything like that? No, no I just end up going more and more candy floss coloured with longer and longer roots. To be fair Ben, I think Susie's got other issues. Yeah, you're right. The pink hair.

Anyway, Susie, we won't hold you up anymore with our hard-hitting questions. You have a lovely day. Thank you. Thanks on your Monday morning. It's time for this. Five words for 5K on the hit. You're only five words away from a massive payday. We have given out more money than government COVID schemes, haven't we?

We have. And we're hopefully giving away five grand right now as our Game of Word Association. You match all five words with our five words and you will win five grand. Okay, let's bring in Abby from Auckland. Welcome, Abby. Hi. How's lockdown, Abs?

Oh, it's okay. Homeschooling today. No. Are you working as well? Yes, we've got, we're working in separate rooms and, you know, the usual for everybody, I guess. Oh, well, one of these rooms could win $5,000. Could be a lot of noise coming from one of these rooms.

You've been hearing the game, Abby? Yes, I have, and my kids have made me call. Oh, well, that's good. Oh, don't sound like they've bullied you into calling. My kids made me listen to this atrocious show. No, no, no, we like listening to you guys. They're like, you've got a ring, you've got a ring. And you got through,

so there you go. You're ready to play the game. Who do you want to choose, Johnna or Ben, to go into the soundproof booth? Well, the kids tell me Ben. The kids tell me that, so the kids bullied you

into picking Ben. You would have gone with me, just for the record, but the kids want Ben. Into the soundproof booth he goes, but you know what we do now. Yeah, sure. We'll fire out five words. You just tell us the first word that he goes, Abby. You know what we do now. Yeah, sure. We'll fire out five words.

You just tell us the first word that pops into your head, and you could be starting this week, this lockdown week, with $5,000. Fingers crossed. All right, there's a bit of support there in the background. First word, Timberlake. Justin. Husband. Wife.

Cement. Mixer. Level. What? Level. Crossing, apparently. Apple. Tree. Level Crossing, apparently Apple Tree All five words you're confident with?

Apart from level You can have a think? No, I think we'll go Crossing, everybody happy with that? Are you happy with that? No No, I think we'll go crossing. Everybody happy with that? Uh-oh. You happy with that? No.

No. But I've got no other options for you. Yeah, we'll go with that. We'll go with that. Okay, those are the five words you're locking in, Abby. Well done. We'll bring out Ben from the Soundproof booth, producer Humphrey.

He's been sitting in there plotting and planning a way out of this pandemic. Did you come up with any results? That was quite quick. It felt like you smashed through those words there with Abby. It was a team effort too in the background they were playing. And they sound 72% confident. Well, I'm 46% confident

that we'll match up, so we'll see how we go. Okay, so not too much thinking involved from Abby, would you say? I don't mean that in a bad way. It was just the first thing popping into their head. What was the tactic there, Abby? Instinct. Instinct. Okay, here we go.

Let's see if we can... Go off your gut instinct, okay? Go off all that bacteria that's sitting inside you. Okay, here we go. First word. Timberlake. Justin. One from one, Abby.

Husband. Wife. Two from two. I thought you'd come up with useless. I don't want to bring my marital issues on there. Okay, yeah, we'll talk about that after eight. Cement. Concrete.

That exasperated, ah, from Abby. Lends me to believe you did not match. What did you lock in there, Abs? Mixer. Mixer, cement mixer. Oh, of course. A lot of options there. Sorry, Abby.

The following word. Alex told he told me so. Who's saying he told you so? Alex. Bring Alex. Check Alex on the phone. Let's get Alex on. I want to match with Alex. What? Alex, you told you so? Alex. Bring Alex. Check Alex on the phone. Let's get Alex on. Alex with Alex.

What? Alex, you told her so? Yep. Yep. What did you lock in, Alex? I thought it was concrete. Oh. Okay, Alex.

Okay, well, the next word was level. I would have probably gone level three off the top of my head. It was level crossing. Oh, I just think you're level three. New Zealand's gone level three off the top of my head. It was level crossing. Oh, I just think at level three, New Zealand's at level three. And the fifth word was apple. Oh, either iPhone or iPad. Oh, it was apple tree.

Hey, well, it's amazing how you think it. The first thing that popped in was technology apple, but of course, there's apples and the fruit. Yeah, before computers, there was actually, apples were doing quite well. Doctors were even saying if you have one a day, apparently it keeps them away. Well, we started so well, Abby, and then things fell apart. I blame myself, so I'm sorry about that.

Yeah, I blame you too. Let's all agree we blame Ben. I blame him for this lockdown as well. Yeah, it's all on me, guys. Hands up who blames Ben. Yeah, it's all on me, guys. I've got my hands up, Abby. I'm sorry, guys. Sorry,, he blames Ben. Yeah, it's all on me, guys. Hands up. I've got my hands up, Evie. I'm sorry, guys.

Sorry, New Zealand. I love your work, mate. Thank you so much for listening. Thanks. You're going to have a wonderful week. Keep safe and good luck with the homeschooling. Oh, cheers. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. The home of yeah, nah. She'll be right. And at the end of the day. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hits.

Bye. No, what's up? Bye. Docco. In bed. Tell you what. She'll be right, and at the end of the day... Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Spy. No, what's up? Spy.co.nz. Tell you what, she's a dump truck reversing up about to drop a load of mud all over your favourite celebrities. What's happening, Ju? So this is my highlight of the year so far. Prince Harry has joined James Corden on not really a carpool karaoke,

but they were driving around the streets of LA in a double-decker open-top bus. And this is probably Prince Harry's first interview with a talk show host since leaving the royal family. And then James, obviously topical, the crown is huge on Netflix at the moment. And there are so many stories of like, oh, what the queen thinks of the crown and everything like that. So James went and asked Harry, and it's quite an interesting answer.

And how do you feel about the Crown? They don't pretend to be news. It's fictional, but it's loosely based on the truth. I'm way more comfortable with the Crown than I am seeing the stories written about my family or my wife or myself, because it's the difference between that is obviously fiction, take it how you will, but this is being reported on as fact

because you're supposedly news. Yeah, I have a real issue with that. Very interesting, eh? Good point, isn't it? He's more fired up at news journalism these days. I know. That's a wonderful answer. And do you know what else he revealed in the interview,

which I thought was very exciting? He's not a natural redhead. No. He's been dying his hair this whole time. Okay, no. That Prince Archie, Prince Archie, Archie's first word

was crocodile. First word. First word. That's quite a complicated first word, isn't it? Yeah, it's like dada or things like that. Four syllables.

Yeah. Crocodile, yeah. And also the queen for Christmas gave Archie a waffle maker. And now Archie wakes up in the morning and just goes,

waffle. And Megan makes an organic waffle mix for him for breakfast. I saw that. Now I wondered behind the scenes, does the queen go to Briscoe's when they're having a sale and buy that or does someone else do it for her? I mean, how does it work? Is she online shopping? That sounds hashtag re-gifted.

Someone gave her a waffle maker and she's like, oh, it's Archie's birthday. I mean, what baby wants a waffle maker? True. But waffles are good. And if you've got a good waffle maker, game changer. Next year, she'll get him a petrol line trimmer from Bunnings. Imagine seeing a queen shop at Bunnings.

So, did you come out of the experience liking Harry even more? Yes. And he's just so attractive as well. You've got a thing for Harry, don't you? I do. I really do. It's quite impressive. We talked about it earlier.

They did a sort of military-style course, and he showed his core. He was climbing up ropes. He's very fit. He is very fit. Would you like to climb up his rope? Yeah. I don't even know what that means.

Put his crown on. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my gosh. And in other news, Emma Watson, there were reports all of last week that Emma was retiring from acting because she hadn't posted on social media and that her agent had said she was going dormant. But her manager has since come out saying she hasn't retired from acting.

Her social media channels are dormant, but her career isn't. So she's probably just, you know, taking a step back like Harry is from the royal family. If she's not on social media, she's dormant to me. Yeah. I don't want to have any part of it on social media. You're not on social media. I'm dormant to myself. I'm dead as well.

Well, good on her for taking a break. I imagine for someone like a celebrity of that stature too, what's the benefit of being on social media apart from potentially getting hate? Yeah. You know, Harry was just talking about it, wasn't he?

With the news. If you're on that level, you'd be like, there's all this misinformation about me out there. Why would I even watch it or listen to it?

Good honour, I say. Good honour. And that's Spy for More. You can head to the hits.co.nz. Was that the most insightful thing you think you've ever heard?

My sweet lips? Oh, it was quite, yeah. I was well said. It really resonated with me too. I was like, wow, that's really good. Don't spoil it by saying something stupid right now. Add these two men together

and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. It is New Zealand's breakfast as New Zealand tries to navigate through another unusual week. Auckland at level three, the rest of the country at level two. And that means there's many things cancelled or postponed that would have been happening this week. I know, just purely

on a selfish point of view, we're meant to be doing a lot of extracurricular activities for a TV show we're filming and all I keep thinking is well that's going to backlog up into a wild fortnight of just not going home, not sleeping so that's all I keep thinking of.

It was weird yesterday looking at the calendar for the week and then going, delete that bit. Oh, that one, delete there. Oh, the school picnic. Oh, no, that won't be happening. Oh, this won't be happening. I know, poor Oscar, my son. He's so gutted.

He's meant to be on school camp tomorrow. Poor things and all the kids missing out on camp. They look forward to camp. Exactly. Don't they? They look forward to wearing the same pair of clothes and underpants for six days in a row. Yeah.

So it is a real shame, but hopefully it's just a short-term bit of pain. You're feeling for the businesses out there. Oh, do you what? Yeah. I imagine a lot of them, and hey, I'm no businessman. I don't know if you know that, Ben.

I'm not a business guy. Okay. But you had business socks on the other day. Oh, I did, yeah. No, but I also had stubbies and a single one too, yeah. I had business feet. But I imagine three days

was probably, you could scrape through three days. Yeah. That mini lockdown. But hey, I don't know what seven days is going to do, but we do feel for the

business owners out there and all the workers too. And also if you're putting on events this week or in the next couple of weeks, things would be quite nervy. America's Cup has obviously been delayed by a few days. That's happening now

on March 10th. All going well. T20 cricket. We've got some cricket that was meant to be happening in Auckland. Well, they're not bringing it to Auckland now. That's going to Wellington. There are no crowds for the rest of the series against Australia. So they'll be playing that. Even outside of Auckland? Yeah, because you're going to have 100 people. So they have no crowds. Why do you have 100 people

scattered throughout the stadium? Oh, I don't know. I'm not Cricket New Zealand, mate. Stop grilling me. Yeah. Outerfields, which is a big concert that was meant to be happening this weekend in association with the hits on Saturday at Western Springs, that's now been postponed to December 4th, a Saturday.

It's featuring Benny, Fat Freddy's Drop. So great that they're still going to do it, but I was guessing that's not going to happen this weekend. And you think about all the tent hiring places, all Freddy's drop. So great that they're still going to do it, but I was guessing that's not going to happen this weekend. And you think about all the tent hiring places, all the caterers. Yeah. Hot dog makers, all sorts of stuff. Yeah, you know when you go to those places,

they've got the cool little donuts that you never get anywhere else apart from somewhere like that? Yeah. Those people. Lantern Festival in Auckland's been cancelled. Round the Bays was cancelled over the weekend. Solomillo's postponed some concerts.

The Blues, the rugby side, they're stuck in Wellington. They can't come back to Auckland because once they come back to Auckland, they can't really leave the area again. And they wouldn't be able to train. So yeah, they can't train at the moment. So they're just waiting to get negative COVID tests and to go, well, where are we going to go next?

Are we going to get any home games? Are we going to have to travel around? They'd be better off staying in Wellington and training, wouldn't they? Well, I think that's the case. They're just going to have to stay there? They'd be better off staying in Wellington and training, wouldn't they? Well, I think that's the case. They're just going to have to stay there. So you're really feeling for so many people this affects right now. So we really are feeling for everyone.

And we want to open up John O'Benn's Community Notice Board. Now, this is a platform for you to come on New Zealand's 17th highest rating breakfast show and get a message across there about an event you may be running, whether it's going ahead or it's been cancelled, like the Wairarapa Knitting Festival. Is that still going ahead this weekend? Maybe it's happening or maybe it's been postponed. The Gore

Finger Pointing Society are holding their annual event. Are they still pointing fingers this weekend? Well, if they don't, they'll be pointing their fingers at someone. The Christchurch Key Losing Club. Are they still losing keys? Who knows? If your event is on or off, you can call up right now, 0800THEHITS,

or maybe you know of an event, you don't necessarily need to be running it, 4487. Use the Community Notice Board. This is bloody some old school 90s radio for you. I love it. The Community Notice Board is open right now, 0800THEHITS. What do you want to tell New Zealand about your event? Is it on?

Is it postponed? Is it on? Is it postponed? Is it not happening? Welcome, Charlotte from Auckland. Good morning. How are you? It's wonderful to have you on the Community Notice Board. What event would you like

to broadcast? I regret to inform, but my husband, Blair Holland's birthday dinner is cancelled. So just a message to his friends out there. Where are you going

to have the dinner? It was just around at our place. Right. Are you looking for a postponement? It was just around at our place. Right. Are you looking for a postponement? Reschedule? Yes, we're looking

into that at the moment. And how will those attendees find out the new date? If they're listening now, but we'll also make sure we post on our community

notice page as well. Would you like to lock in the date now? We'll come back to that. She's like, I wouldn't like to hang out with this information. All right, well, Blair's birthday will be happening at some point. Although you don't want to get to a point,

you don't want to celebrate too late for that. You'd be like, oh, that was months ago. So, yeah. Yeah, Wayne. Well, you could hold till next year, couldn't you? Wayne, you're on. Welcome to the Community Notice Board. Hi, how are you?

What would you like to say, Wayne? Well, I'm pissed off at you Aucklanders Okay, yes You know, I blame Ben If you want to point the finger at anyone I'm the fool guy for this one You know, it is frustrating I can understand the frustration out there

What do you want to tell a country That says it's been postponed or cancelled? Well, the motorbike rally down in Waimate is being cancelled, which was going to be a big event because it was their 30th anniversary this year. Oh, mate. We're so sorry about that, Wayne. Can you reschedule? No, they've cancelled it.

Oh, it's a shame. It's a shame. Just hope we get back to normality soon. We had that little run for a few months. Oh, great run. It gave us a summer holiday, COVID. I know. Go and enjoy those weeks.

Yeah. Then it came back. Well, maybe if you Aucklanders did as you were told to do. Yeah, well, yeah. We're trying to. I feel like Wayne's really happy with Auckland. Yeah. I understand.

Sorry, Wayne. I don't know why I'm apologising for Auckland. Yeah. Taking it on the chin. It's all your fault, Jono. Good on you, Wayne. Okay, cool. I don't know why I'm apologising for Auckland. Taking it on the chin. It's all your fault, Jono. Good on you, Wayne. Okay, cool. All right.

And your team of five million right there. Yeah, I think we get, yeah, I know. It's the thing. It is, and I understand it is frustrating, you know, and you want to point fingers as well, but then that's not going to do any good now as well. So I guess being kind is our only option and hoping we can all learn these lessons.

Thanks, Jacinda. Be kind. I think you do need to be, you know. Let's go to Gary in Auckland. The Community Notice Board is open for you, Gary. Yeah, hi, guys. How are you? We're doing well.

What event are you cancelled? The Auckland Key Losing Club. We mentioned that before, yep. Yeah, it's a really hard club to get into, that is. Their annual event has been postponed, mainly because they can't find the keys for the club door. You're right, Gary. They don't have an open-door policy.

In fact, they have a closed-door policy. And just a panicked lost-and-found policy. Good on you, Gary. We'll go to Jenny in the West Coast. You can wrap up the Community Notice Board, Jenny. Oh, hi. Yeah, I've up up the community notice board, Jenny. Oh, hi. I've up to the Selwyn Sounds and that's now been postponed

to the 10th of April. What was the Selwyn Sounds? It's a line-up of New Zealand artists this year. Oh, yes, Stan Walker. Oh, wow. The Jordan Luck Band, Lady Killers. Shea Fu. Oh, what, Stan Walker. Oh, wow. Stan Walker, the Jordan Luck band, the Lady Killers.

Shea Fu. Oh, what a line-up. The remnants of Hello Taylor, yeah. Oh, wonderful. Wonderful. So the good news is it's going ahead. Yes, it's going ahead, but unfortunately we've already got plans on the 10th of April,

so it doesn't look like we're going to be able to go. Oh, well, I'm sorry about that. We can lock those Auckland people up. Thank you. Thank you again. Team of five million, we're all in this together. Everyone loves Auckland. I think that's what we've...

I think it's always been the feeling towards Auckland for many years now. Well, Auckland did not need COVID to have the rest of New Zealand dislike it. It's the biggest city. If it's going to happen anywhere, it's probably going to happen here. Yeah, Jenny, you go and have a wonderful day,

okay? Okay, thanks. We'll sort out those Aucklanders for you. Broadcasting live and mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Of course, the whole country talking about the new alert levels. COVID didn't really go away from the news, did it?

But it's back in again today. That's all that anyone's talking about. And there's so many terms that we've been using in the year that COVID's been around in New Zealand that have now become second nature. Just part of the vernacular. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that I wouldn't even known what they meant.

I probably still don't know what they mean, but I just say them anyway to sound intelligent. We say things now, we talk about cluster, we talk about contain, we talk about lockdown, bubble, level one, level three, level two, manage isolation, all those sorts of things, right? Yeah, and so we wanted to play a little game today where, Ben, I'm going to get you to phone a cafe in the South Island, and I'm going to be holding up bits of paper. Yes, you've got some paper here. That's what you do on radio when you say you've got a bit of paper,

but you're actually reading it off a computer screen. No, I can see. You do that. So that's a bit of paper. And you've just got to try and seamlessly weave these into a restaurant booking. Oh, so these are sort of COVID-related terms, I guess, into this. Okay, all right.

Okay, you up for the game? Because if you say no right now, it's going to put us in a bit of a hole. Producer Juliet, you've got the job of dinging and bow every time I try and weave these into the conversation. Let's see how I go. She's the best dinger in the game. Good morning. Oh, hi there. I was just wondering if I could book a table at some stage. Yep, for when?

I don't know. I was thinking maybe tomorrow. There's just a small cluster of us that want to come down and have a meal. Tomorrow? Yeah, maybe tomorrow. You know, can we lock down a time around about 11 o'clock in the morning? Yeah, 11 for lunch.

Yeah, do you have like, seating arrangement-wise, do you have like a couple arrangement wise, do you have like a couple of levels? Do you have like a first level and level one, level two

or is it just all on the same floor? No, it's just on, we don't, yep, just on the same floor. I don't have like a mezzanine or anything. Oh, okay,

I'll just have, I'll just go on level one then if that's fine. I was thinking about going to another restaurant but then I pivoted. I thought I'd come to yours. Oh, they're up.

Yeah. In Invercargill. Yeah, I thought that would be good. Or it's a bit of a special occasion. Do you have like fancy drinks? Do you have like a bottle of bubble? Yeah, we do bubbles. We have cocktails.

Oh, jeez. I can hardly contain my excitement for coming along. How many people do you... Oh, there's a few of us. I mean, you know, we're just, you know, working hard,

so it's nice to get on a break, you know, out on a break, outbreak. Yeah. You know. I mean, you know, we're just, you know, working hard, so it's nice to get on a break, out on a break, outbreak. Yeah. You know, it's, you know, you know what it's like. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Well, maybe, like, kind of left alone, you know, in the restaurant. You know, like, I like to be sort of by myself. You know, sort of managed isolation, I guess.

Okay. As such... We can put you next door. It depends how many people there is. Okay. Well, there is the, we have a table in the bar and it seats six people. It's like a little cosy kind of. Sounds great.

Thanks for the fire. It's not in the main restaurant or in our function room. It's like in the bar where it'll just be me and the other manager. Can you put under my name Dr. Ashley Bloomfield? Dr. Ashley Bloomfield? Dr. Ashley... Bloomfield. That's definitely the name I like to book things under. Yeah.

And cocktails-wise, I mean, what, you've got your standard cocktails, you've got Long Island iced tea, the Quarantine Martine. That's one of my favourites, the quarantine martini. Yeah, we've got quite a few. We've got about six or seven. We can also do ones that aren't on the cocktail menu. Just tell us and we'll make them. Well, look, I'm going to end my transmission of this call.

Can I grab your phone number, please? Look, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God, I want to go to the radio. Jono's making me try to insert as many bits of jargon from the news over the last few weeks into a phone call. Oh, my God. You're such a good supporter.

Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Mmm. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. New Zealand's got a feeling. Oh, here we go again. Mamma mia, here I go again. There goes some ABBA for Jenny Boyce, Ben's mum, huge ABBA fan. Mum loves it.

She loves these movies. She'll be appreciating that ABBA reference. Okay, so you were camping Saturday night, Ju, when COVID lockdown hit again? Yes, we had had a few drinks and it was in a part of, there wasn't much service. And so the internet was cutting in and out. We're like, what's going on? What's going on? And then we ended up partying at the beach.

Just saying, what's going on? Having a grand old time in our own little bubble. But yeah, it was a good fun weekend going up north camping. It's never a good feeling when you get that message going, the Prime Minister's going to do a press conference. It's not like she's going to get suddenly like surprise you. Surprise, everything's going great, guys. You know, just do a Saturday at nine o'clock a press conference,

fly from Auckland to Wellington. Just say, hey, it's all chill. All right, go back to having a good weekend. Have a great weekend. Chaka bra and all that sort of stuff. You knew that was coming. You didn't get a lot of warning, but you knew it was coming. And, you know, I was at some friend's place

and it was like, as soon as it happened, everyone's on their phones, you start thinking about the week and work. Some people had to take work calls and some people had to leave. You know, it kind of kills the mood, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. And then you get the bark, bark, bark text from the civil defence emergency text.

Yeah, you could tell Jacinda was doing a really good job of playing the role of a person who was really angry, but pretending not to be really angry through that whole press conference. Yeah, and all the journalists are like, you're clearly frustrated, like just trying to bait her, trying to bait her through the whole thing.

But I took Poppy, my daughter, for a COVID test on Friday. She's fine. But they are testing you and you look around the car park and you're like, this feels like the scene from a movie that Will Smith would be in.

You know, the last days on earth. Oh yeah. People sitting in their cars and walking up in the PPE gear and testing you. But they're trialling this new technology where you hold your phone up and they scan and you just fill the form out in your car while you're waiting.

Oh, that's a good idea. And she's like, this is the first time we're doing it. It's a demo, so there might be a few glitches. And you know those things when you fill out a whole form, 39 questions, and you get to the end and you're like, well, that was textbook. I couldn't have done that any better. Accept and proceed. And then it's like, bing, and it comes up

the red thing like, you failed to fill out this field incorrectly. And it was a date of birth and I kept going back and filling out the date of birth and like, okay, I've done it right this time, accept and proceed.

No, 30 times I didn't. All these other cars were going past me. Oh, so they went past you. Yeah, I was like,

well, he's nailing it, she's nailing it. What am I doing wrong? And then the PPE lady came up to me and she's like, what's going on?

You've been here for quite a while and everyone's overtaking you. I was like, this thing keeps incorrect field. And she's like, oh's going on? You've been here for quite a while and everyone's overtaking you. I was like, this thing keeps incorrect feel. And she's like, oh, I know, you just need to put dashes between the dates and the birthday. And I was like, did I just get boomed? Oh, you did get boomed.

And I was like, there's a 70-year-old lady who just drove past me. She's doing it fine. There's a child, four-year-old, just drove past. It was weird the four-year-old was driving, but they obviously filled it out fine. Isn't that crazy? Yesterday was a year since the first case of COVID in New Zealand.

Oh, what a way to celebrate. What a way to celebrate with another lockdown. I know, another lockdown. This is the new normal, isn't it? But we're trying to be positive today. Hopefully it's just a week for Auckland. The rest of the country, stop banging on about it, mate. We can do everything but have 101 people in a location.

101 Dalmatians could not be filmed in New Zealand right now out of Auckland. But apart from that, under 100 they can do it. They're carrying on as normal. Yeah, so we will try and not bang on about it for the next three hours. But we probably won't. We will. Let's make a hate

Auckland even further. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the even further. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees, and this is the B*** News. This is the only thing that's got more beeps than peak hour traffic.

The news and beeps, Juliet, you take news stories from around the world, quirky news stories. If it's got a man who's lodged his head inside a watermelon or a lady who's married a donkey, well, then it'll feature on this segment. And we've got to figure it out. Quite literally, your first story. Man faked **** because he didn't want to go to work.

Man faking something to not go to work. I'm going to go extreme. He faked his own death. Ooh. I mean, you can't go to work if you did. Yeah. Valid. I'm going to say man faked orgasm because you can't go to work if you're doing that either.

Yeah, people don't want you turning up to work like that. Stay at home, Brian. For God's sake. That's a good point. Man faked his own kidnapping because he didn't want to go to work. Almost your one, Ben. Oh, God. It's just as dark, isn't it?

I know. He literally just tied himself up, put a bandana in his mouth, and just lay on the side of the road, pretending he had been kidnapped. And then, obviously, the police looked into it some more, and it wasn't quite adding up. Figured out that he'd lied. And he did end up getting a bit more time off work

because he got fired. Oh, OK. Well, it all worked out then. It really did for him, didn't it? How could he not think that would ever go right? I don't know. Well, my thought is, I'm like, did he drive to the side of the road and just hop out of his car and lie on the side,

but then they see his car there? Did he have a friend that took him there? Who knows? How did he tie his hands up behind his back by himself? He must have been an accomplice. You know, someone helping him do that. Maybe there was. Maybe there was. But well done for getting fired, mate.

Next story. Plastic surgeon turns up for Zoom court hearing while in the middle of... I'm going to say while in the middle of a Sudoku puzzle. You can't put those things down no matter what you're doing. Quite tough, aren't they? But they're also, yeah, you really get involved. I reckon he turned up for a Zoom meeting.

He was giving himself a nose job, the plastic surgeon. Plastic surgeon turns up for Zoom court hearing while in the middle of operating on a patient. Oh, so he was actually operating a patient. He was. He had a surgical mask on, one of the little, what do you call them, like the bandana things that keep your hair away? I think that's what they call them in the medical protection.

Have you put your bandana thingy on? One of those things. And you could hear beeping in the background and it looked very much like a surgical room in the background. And the judge in the court was like, are you operating on a person right now? And he's like, oh no, no, no, there's another surgeon in here, I'm just helping out. And then they ended up having to cancel and postpone the hearing because he obviously wasn't focused. Was he up on charges?

It was some sort of traffic driving cut. Yeah, yeah. But still, you wouldn't want to be that patient, would you? I know. Hold here, I've just got some traffic issues I need to deal with. Are you going to be concentrating on me? No, no, no. You've only half finished my face.

Yeah, I know. And the final one. A woman chains herself to boyfriend for three months, an ultimate show of love. Ends up in... I'm going to say ends up in a quirky morning news segment at 6.20 on a New Zealand radio station. I imagine having chains around the wrist would be sore,

so you could say she had a chain reaction, I would say, to the chains. So she ends up in a chain reaction. Woman chains herself to boyfriend for three months, an ultimate show of love. Ends up in hospital with chain wounds. Oh, so she didn't have a reaction to the chains. Yeah, yeah.

And I still don't know why they're doing that, but they've mastered washing dishes, cooking, going to the bathroom, driving, all while chained together for three months. I think you mentioned these guys a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, we did. We talked about them. They were in the middle of being chained and now there's obviously... Yeah, they've had some issues.

The wounds look very infected, so they might have to de-chain. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, it's actually kind of bad. Quite weepy. Yeah. Yeah. Yellowy and gross. Oh.

So, yeah, that's that. Nothing says I love you like a weepy sore. Exactly. And that is the news and beeps. Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, on Friday, we're talking about horrible news

that Lady Gaga's dogs got taken. But I think that she found them over the weekend. Yes, yes, they were found. Two of her three French bulldogs were stolen and then they found the two of them taped to a, well, not taped, tied to a pole. Taped to a pole. I shall leave them gaped and taped to a pole.

Wrong choice of words, Juliet. Yeah, tied to a pole and all good and all safe. Because her dog handler was shot. Yeah. Oh, that's shocking. Yeah. But then Gaga was like, $500,000 reward for their return, no questions asked. I'm like, surely you want questions asked?

Yeah, there's a lot of questions that need to be asked. I was like, I'll be asking questions. Yeah. $500,000 and I'll get the police to ask some questions. Well, maybe the questions from Gaga, but the police have a lot of questions. I'm sure the person who was shot was like, yeah, please, can someone ask some questions? Yeah. Because I've taken three bullets here.

Yeah, well, fortunately, everyone's okay. Scrolling through your feed. All right, tell you what, here's Ben Boyce, one journalist who's not afraid to lightly tippy-toe around the tough topics. Well, the alert levels again have changed in New Zealand. As you'll know, Auckland alert level three, the rest of the country alert level two.

People were stuck in traffic yesterday. I don't know if you saw this. One lady I heard this morning on the news went from Rotorua to Auckland driving back yesterday. It took her like nine hours to get back into Auckland. There's just massive queues just getting in and out of Auckland. Some people trying to leave Auckland to escape and other people just trying to get home from their weekend. Jeez, I wouldn't have been good in that.

Imagine me in that, Ben. I'd be down side streets driving over farm paddocks. All you've got to do is stay on State Highway 1. We had that conversation. If you didn't hear us the other day, Ben and myself were travelling back from somewhere and all he had to do was stay on State Highway 1 to get from one location to another.

Somehow we veered off for a 35 minute detour through areas I'd never heard of. Yeah, some roads hadn't even been finished, literally they had to be finished, but we got there in the end. There was a stage where we gave a cow a lift, a hitchhiking cow. Are we off too, mate? Anyway, so well, nothing worse than

being stuck in that sort of traffic, is there? Why was there so much traffic? I don't know. It's just because the place has gone into lockdown. I was surprised there was, yeah, because I understand there's checkpoints going out at Auckland at the moment. Everyone's getting checked to make sure they're leaving the city for the right reasons. But coming back in, I was surprised. A full shout out, too, to the people who managed to escape before the cutoff.

You must do a quick packing. I mean, the press conference was at nine. People are on the road by ten. Like that is efficient. And also international news was made over

the weekend. James Corden, the host of the US chat show over there in America, who does carpool karaoke,

he had Prince Harry. He had Harry. Princess Juliet very happy about this. Exclusive Prince Harry.

It was very well done. He had like a 17 minute segment. It was impressive. It was so well done. He had like a 17-minute segment. It was impressive. It was so good. And I was just, I don't think I've ever watched Harry so intently in my life. He's so, okay, no, sorry.

I don't think you've ever watched anything for 17 minutes. You're a millennial. Yeah, true. It was very interesting though. He said that he'd never been on an open-topped double-decker bus in his life before. And you think about that and you're like, actually valid, but they're so iconic to the UK and London that you just

think that he would have, but he's never. And that's what him and Gordon went on. But he said no need to catch a bus. No. Oh, true. He did get driven around by the royal chauffeur. What were the highlights? They went to the Fresh Prince of Balear house.

The very house that Will Smith turns up to is good enough for the Fresh Prince. It's good enough for a real prince. Okay. Do you remember the song? Now, this is a story all about how man's life could flip, turn upside down. Now, take a minute.

Sit right there. Sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called... Look at you. See? It's made for you. All the way through that, he's like, please don't make me do this.

Please. Don't make me do the song. I thought he didn't want to be called Prince anymore. I thought he wasn't a royal. Well, that was James bringing it up. It wasn't really Harry saying, call me Prince, call me Prince. Call me Prince.

One more time, call me Prince. And then James Corden FaceTimed Megan as well from Prince Harry's phone. Haz, how's your tour of LA going? Haz? I didn't know we were calling you Haz now. No, you're not my wife, so... He's the worst tour guide in LA,

so I've never heard of him. Well, I'm the only tour guide you've ever heard, so I'm the best and the worst. He's having a great time. And then they went and did an army-style, military-style sort of confidence course or one of those things as well, because I guess Prince Harry was in the military for many years,

so he was actually really impressive, climbing up ropes and climbing over all sorts of stuff, so yeah. And then James Corden would grab a ladder to help climb, like, things, because he was just like, he's like, I'm no competition for Prince Harry. And so was it a carpool karaoke? No, it was just like an interview.

Just a ride-along sort of thing. Yeah, so they rode along on an open-top tourist bus at the start and then they just kind of went to a couple of locations around LA. Very interesting. And James Corden kind of got the jump on Oprah because everyone's been saying, Harry and Meghan are going to be at Oprah. But I guess in a way way he got the first interview which is very cool

I'm just loving that he is now jumping on board with American talk because this has never happened in royal history they're very secretive

so I'm like yeah give me the goss they tell you who's not loving it the Queen they're proud of New Zealand go New Zealand if only New Zealand

was proud of them Jono and Ben New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. Is Outerfields happening? I don't think. No, it can't happen this Saturday. I haven't heard officially,

but I'm hoping they'll be postponing that to another date. That's the event that was happening at Western Springs this Saturday in Auckland. It was meant to be. With Benny and... Matt Freddy's drop, Paige, and plenty of other artists as well. It looked awesome,

so hopefully that'll be happening in the not-too-distant future. Tell you what, if you haven't heard about all the latest celebrity news and gossip on this radio show, well then you've probably gone to a more up-to-date source of celebrity gossip. But here's Juliette. What have we got? So trending at the moment is Jonah Hill.

He posted on Instagram an article that the Daily Mail had published about him it was photos of him surfing in Malibu he's living the dream on the surfboard right

he's in his full wetsuit and then the heading says before showing off his tattoos while going shirtless to towel himself off and then it's a photo

of him you know just drying himself with a towel and he posted this screenshot and said I don't think I ever took a shirt off in a pool until I was in my mid-30s, even in front of families and friends. But I probably would have sooner if it wasn't for my childhood insecurities being, you know, made public with interviewers and the media kind of making

him feel worse about himself and how his body looked. Right. And so he said, you know, to the kids who don't want to take their shirt off in the pool, you know, I'm trying to lead by example here. It's okay if you're on the bigger side. Who cares if that's what, I don't know what I'm trying to say here, but, you know, who cares if the media might portray Jonah as someone who's, you know, on the bigger side, but that doesn't really matter.

He's saying, whoever you are, it's fine to be who you are. Yeah, and I think he's saying, I wish I'd have kind of embraced that earlier. Are you saying, I'm not out there for people to feel sorry for me or for angry? Either way, he just wanted to send love out to any kid out there who was growing up, just like he would have grown up.

And they're not alone, really. It was a lovely thing for him to do. And everyone's giving him praise for being that role model for people like that. And I should apologise for mocking you, Ben, and saying you have the body

of the pack and safe stick man. I'm fine, I'm fine. Are you fine with that? I'm okay, yeah. We get each other. It feels like you and me, we're not the Daily Mail picking on a celebrity right now.

It's just the two of us. So we're fair game. Yeah. We're fair game. Well, I did notice about Jonah Hill, actually. I noticed you didn't apologise for making fun of my bald... I was going to say, Jonah Hill with the same tattoo as you. Still not apologising.

Same tattoo as you on your arm. He's got the spider web on the arm. He does. I was thinking they'd go exactly the same as you. Oh, yeah. If only he shaved his head. Yeah, we would kind of look the same. Who knew he had so many tattoos?

I don't know that, eh? He's got them all over his arm and his chest. Hey, well, good on you, Jonah Hill. What a wonderful role model for young people. And there's a TikTok account that is called Deep Tom Cruise, and it's a person that's impersonating Tom Cruise, but they use this artificial intelligence technology that makes his face look exactly like Tom Cruise's.

And I mean... What's up, TikTok? You guys cool if I play some sports? I love it. So, and it literally looks like Tom Cruise's. It could be very dangerous if this picks up, you know? Well, I mean, they could create all sorts of videos and defame celebrities.

Honestly, you would not be able to pick the difference. And we use this technology on Friday. You head along to the hits breakfast on our Instagram and Facebook. Ben, you impersonated me using my face and it looked bang on. And I think you'll agree the impersonation is top notch as well. Yeah, it's me, Jono. Bloody hell, guys, mate, I just say stuff. Don't even think about it.

Because I love it. It's what I do. Crazy stuff out of my mouth. You never know what I'm going to say. It's normally stuff about Ben that's not true. And there you go. That's what you sound like. I can't tell the difference.

Who's talking right now? Who knows? And then I got to have a go with Ben. Hi, guys. It's Ben here. Just a little nervous. A little nervous about what could happen. I like to be on edge and keep my hands sanitised.

A lot of hand sanitiser. And when I take a photo, I like to go... Great impersonations. Yeah, you can check them out with the Face app. What's the app called? Something technology-wise. There you go. And if you want to find it, go and Google something technology-wise.

Thank you, Producer Julian. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hefts. We're just reflecting on five words for 5K today. Just sitting here reflecting on the show. It was a solid effort from you. I felt like I messed it up today. 745, we do this competition if you just tuned in for the first time.

Kia ora, lovely to have you with us. $5,000 we've got up for grabs. You've got to match five words with our five words, and this is how it played out this morning. Cement. Concrete. She had said cement mixer. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn't do the follow on. Sometimes you do the follow on word is the obvious one. Other times it wasn't. And I didn't do it today. It didn't work out. Don't be hard on yourself, though. You've already won $10,000 for people, okay?

You don't need to be hard. Don't beat yourself up, buddy, all right? You look after that little body of yours. Don't be beating that up. Another chance to play tomorrow morning, Five Words for $5,000 at 7.45. Maybe you can go back in the soundproof booth tomorrow. I like it because people don't choose me.

They go for a safe... You've kind of angled it that way. I don't like the pressure. I'm no good under pressure. Neither do I. I'd be a shocking diamond because pressure is not for me. Well, yeah, true. But you've done well so far.

We've got another $5,000 to give away tomorrow morning at 7.45. Also tomorrow on the show, we're going to be talking to a shark expert. This is a person who swims with sharks every day. As well as that, the winner of the Bachelorette, we're going to be chatting to them over the phone. The final of the Bachelorettes on tonight on TVNZ2. What do they win? It's love.

It's love, mate. What a shitty prize. It's the best prize of them all. The best prize of all. Do they win money? No, it's love. Love. Love.

So Lexi, tonight we'll make your big decision between the final two and we'll have Lexi and the winner tomorrow. Don't know who that is on the show. You have a great day, New Zealand. Stay safe out there. We'll catch you tomorrow from six. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from six on The Hits

and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.