Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - March 04 - What Is The Quickest Time You've Gone From Meeting Someone, To Moving In With Them?

Episode Date: March 4, 2021

Hello! Today we discussed the story of an English lady who went on holiday, met a French man, and 3 days later decided to pack up her life and live with him in a van. VERY DRASTIC, but it's worked out for them, as they are now happily married! We were sure nobody could beat 3 days from meeting to moving in, but we had some incredible stories from you guys about how quickly you moved in with your partner. We also tried out a new game called THE GOOGLE GAMES. We thought it would be an absolute flop, but we were very pleasantly surprised! Iconic Kiwi singer Neil Finn also joined us, and finally, Ben has informed us that his photo app is filled with absolute junk, but there's a reason why!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast on a Thursday. It feels like a really long week here in New Zealand, I guess.

You look like you've had a long week. You look like the week's got the better of you. I feel a little bit that way. Your eyes are a bit glassy, sort of rocking slowly back and forth. Yeah, no, it's just been, you know, it feels like the momentum of the year has just sort of been taken out of it. Yeah, the winds out of the sails to coin an America's Cup

phrase. Yeah. Is that a phrase they say in the America's Cup? Well, no, the sails, yeah. I'm sure they do. I'm sure they would have. Yeah. Now they're like... The foils out of the... I don't know. They might say some stuff. But anyway, Jono and Ben here. It's the 4th of March, Thursday the 4th of March, and as producer Juliette

astutely recognised on the show this morning, March 4th. March 4th. So maybe that's the positivity we need. March on 4th. But you're right, we were in the middle of filming a TV show. That kind of got it all on pause, obviously, at the moment. And there's bigger things going around. But I feel like there's the same frustrations that everyone's having.

And some of them having them on a much larger scale, where you can't open your business, you can't go out. You've got events you have to cancel. I mean, we're really feeling for those people. The momentum. The momentum. The year was off to a... We had a good summer holiday.

COVID left us alone. We're having concerts. We're looking at... We had a little three-day stint. We're like, okay, okay, we respect you. We know you're still around. Alright, alright. And then we're back here. I think, you know what, I'm going to call it now. And I'd like you to record this somehow. Oh, we are recording.

Great, well that's the job done, Tick. We're going to have no new community cases this week. I'm going to call it. So when are we coming out of level two, level one? No, I'd say everything will be back to normal by Monday. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right.

Okay. We'll ease back into a level two situation. And then by Monday, they'll go back to level one everywhere. Well, hopefully that's the case. That would be nice for New Zealand, wouldn't it? Did you record that? I did. Play it back if I'm correct. If I'm wrong, please don't. No, I'll play the case. It would be nice for New Zealand. Did you record that? I did. Play it back if I'm correct.

If I'm wrong, please don't. No, I'll play it back. I'll play it back either way. But that's okay. Today on the podcast, though, a really fun show. We catch up with music royalty, Neil Finn. I mean, you know, from Crowded House, from Split Ends, his solo work as well.

He's a legend. Did you know Crowded House were inducted into the Australian Music Hall of Fame I remember they played at the Sydney Opera House well the New Zealand

you know there's always that big debate of which is Crowded House New Zealand or Australia well they're already in the Australian Hall of Fame mind you if you had the option to be in the Australian

Hall of Fame or the New Zealand Hall of Fame you would choose New Zealand New Zealand well our Hall of Fame is just like a rusty old shed

with a couple of gumboots with cold bibs in them but I suppose for the most part they are made up

of they are a trans-Tasman band made up of people from New Zealand and Australia

so it makes sense Antipodean why can't we both love them why do we have to claim why do we put so much

weight on this fucking pavlova? Like, let's be honest. Let's just... Okay, you can have it, we can have it. We all enjoy it. True, that's a good point. We all enjoy it. We all put some stuff around about the same time.

We all went, oh, yeah. And we all like it. It doesn't mean you can't have pavlova, just because... No, you're right. It really seems like... But I feel like it's us not letting it go't have Pavlova just because I know you're right it really seems like and that's what Russell Crowe but I feel like it's us

not letting it go yeah Australia probably don't care no it's like well you could just say oh yeah it's like Stan Walker Russell Crowe

it's like oh yeah Australia, New Zealand I mean it's nice that we can claim these people in some way yeah and if Australia don't want them

they'll put them in a detention centre and kick them out of the country and then we'll have them back again. Exactly. As well as Neil Finn on the show today, we got talking about the coolest names off the back of John Legend, the singer who's got the coolest name around. How did he get his name? We find out today.

Yeah, and we spoke to a lady who named her son Maverick Ray. Oh, that guy's going to get some stuff done in life. That little baby. And as well as that, we... Oh, we also did the meeting to marriage thing, which was really interesting. We didn't think we were going to get any calls on this. The quickest time from when you've met someone

to moving in with them. Not marriage, sorry. Moving in with them. So, Ben, I meet you. You're serving me. You're pumping my petrol at the service station. I'm like, look at you. Why don't we move in with each other this afternoon?

Well, that would possibly be the quickest call we find, but only just. Just. Yeah, so enjoy that on the podcast today. Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office, those two. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. We want to know the quickest time you've gone from meeting someone to moving in in a relationship. Producer Julia, you just found this article from someone in France, a couple in France, right? Yeah, so this woman, she went on holiday in Spain and met this French man.

And after three days with him, she decided to leave her life in England and quit her job and move to the French mountains to live in a van with him. And they're now married a year later. Wow. So things are going great. After three days. Now if a friend came to you and was like, I'm just in France. I'm getting swept up in the madness. I'm carrying a baguette and I've got a lovely hat on. I've met a guy. I'm going to move in with him. He lives in a van. What would you tell me? You'd be like, what? You're quitting

your job? You're like, three days? Yeah, going to live in a van. I'd be like, are you sure you're going to do this? Is this the right thing to do? Three days is not long. I'm in love with him. But I feel like as a friend, I'm happy for you. Thank you.

Because I'm confident on this decision. He's quite quick. But hey, each year you live your life. You live your best life. As they say over here, au revoir then. Au revoir. Take care. Thank you.

And next day, I instantly regret that decision. Well, obviously not because they've been together for a year. Yeah, very happy at same. I mean, sometimes you know when you know you know, but three days is quick.

There must be people out there who can beat three days though. Sure, no. But can we beat a three day from meeting to moving in? I would just, I'd

take three months, less than three months from meeting to moving in I think is quick, you know, and there's nothing wrong with that. Obviously there's

nothing wrong with what they're doing, but that's quick. What would you consider an appropriate time from meeting to moving in I think is quick, you know, and there's nothing wrong with that, obviously nothing wrong with what they're doing, but that's quick. What would you consider an appropriate time from meeting someone to moving in with them, Jen? Meeting to moving in, maybe at least six months. Starting a relationship to moving in is different, but meeting to moving in. Yes. You reckon? You know what I mean?

Yeah, you're right, because you don't instantly meet someone and then go, hey, it's been a relationship. You're like, all right, from the get-go. The timer doesn't start there. And it needs to be a two-way street, that sort of call, because if someone, one party goes, meet you in the morning, in the afternoon,

maybe goes, let's move in, you'd be like, well, this is slightly unusual and unexpected. You don't even know their idiosyncrasies yet. You don't even know what their personality traits are like. I think it depends on the circumstances of where you're living as well sometimes. I know Amanda, who's my wife now, has been my wife for many

years, we moved in quite quickly, probably within six months or so, but she'd just moved back home. I was living in a flat with like six people. I was at the stage where you're like, okay, this is, you know, I'm ready to, you know, at some stage to move out of this flat. Six months is quick. You know, so we're about six months, I reckon at the stage where you're like, okay, this is, you know, I'm ready to, you know, at some stage to move out of this. Six months is quick.

You know, so we're about six months, I reckon. Was that from when you got together or from when you met? Probably from when you got together, yes. So not from when we first met.

Oh, it's worked out well for you? Yeah, it has worked out well. Couple of shaky years in the middle? You navigated through that. I actually remember moving in and she'd just broken her ankle and my friend was like, oh, come around and help me out

and he was hungover. And so I had to move. That was like moving the actual moving in day. Are you complaining about having to move your own stuff into the house? Yeah, I was all by myself. I was like, yeah. Anyway, can I mind about that now? No, that's not the point, mate.

Was your friend getting paid? No, but he was hungover. Mate, I was like, come on, mate. You knew you were helping me. Is your friend a moving company? No. But he sat down with a man who'd had a broken ankle. And they just sat there.

Well, I move stuff. I was like... Well, you moved your own stuff then. Oh, that seems unfair. I can see why you're disgruntled. Okay, now you put it that way. Okay, I'm going to do this. Let's open this up.

Can you beat three days from meeting and moving in? Or did you just move in in an unusually short period of time with someone? Love to get your calls and texts on this morning on New Zealand's Breakfast. Lizzie, you're on. Morena from Te Awamutu. How are you? Good morning. I'm very well, thank you.

And you? Oh, we're doing well, Lizzie. This is a very formal introduction to our radio conversation. Okay. Quickest time, Lizzie, from meeting someone to moving in with them. So friends of our mum and dad, they met and were married 24 hours later. 24 hours later, wow. And celebrated 55 years of marriage.

Isn't that a lovely romance story? The family must have been pretty pumped when they both announced they were getting married after 24 hours. Oh, well, I think the biggest part was he was in the British Army and I think he was due to be shipped overseas and he didn't want to lose her to someone else

so he married her. Oh, isn't that a sweet story? In 55 years is a heck of a marriage. That's amazing. He didn't have much faith in her though, did he? He's like, I'm going to leave. You're going to hop on some other guy. I'm going to war, mate.

You're going to be, oh, no, hell, that's, yeah. I'm going to have to snap her up right now in these 24 hours. Oh, romance. That's awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that story. I loved it. Yeah, go to Mike in Tauranga. Welcome, Mike, to New Zealand's Breakfast.

Quickest time from meeting to moving in, matey? Official meeting date, 16th of December, 1919. We've been married 28 years. 31 years in total. She's still my best mate. And I actually met her at a travel agency. She was my last resort. Wonderful gag at the end.

And how long from when you met her at the travel agency did you move in? How many days? Six weeks. Well, that's pretty quick. Turn around. What made you think this is the one, you know, for both of you guys? I don't know. We were mates.

Well, we knew each other before we got together. And she went out with a really dicky guy. And I said to her one day, well, what are the chances? And she goes, what do you mean? I said, well, if I ask you out. And she goes, oh, well, you've got to ask me first. So, yeah, that's how it happened.

Oh, wow. So, that's amazing. Let's throw a thought for that dicky guy. Let's hope he's doing well. Thank you very much, Mike. Appreciate that, bud. We'll go to Sue. Welcome from the capital in Wellington.

Quickest time from meeting to moving in, Sue? Overnight. Overnight? We've got a record. Wow. One day. Talk us through this, Sue. What happened?

How did it work? Well, I met him at a party. We went home together that night. I never left. We got married. We were together over 13 years. Had two kids. Wow, so you just basically, from that point on,

you guys stayed together for kids and a marriage. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah. That's really cool. Did you go home and pick up your stuff or anything? I'm glad it was done because we're not together now, but that's another story for another day. 13 years is a heck of a long stretch.

That's a hell of a stint. Maybe I'm a slow learner. Good on you Sue, have a good one. Jane, welcome from Ashburton. Quickest time from meeting to moving in, you're on the air. That night. We met at a party and that was it. They couldn't get a more New Zealand call.

We met at a party and we just moved in and we love it. How long't get a more New Zealand call. We met at a party, and we just moved in, and we love it. How long have you been living together now, Jane? We've been married, this is our 16th year. Wow, that's amazing. So what advice were your friends and family giving you when you said, I've moved in with this guy, I just met at a party? Nothing. They didn't give you anything?

We were adults. You know, I mean, I was 40. He's a bit younger than me. But you kind of know when you're that age. Yeah, right. Well, trust me, they were talking behind your back. No, they weren't.

Oh, that's incredible. About my action, man. Oh, have you got you and your toy boy going to have a wonderful life together, Jane? Thank you. What's the age gap? Oh, it's only three years, but he doesn't like it. Oh, he doesn't? Oh, really?

I'm three years younger than Jennifer. I'm a toy boy, baby. Yeah, you're an action man. I know what it's like. All right, you're going to have a good one, Jane. Thank you. Warning, this show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast.

They're trying a brand new game right now called the Google Games. We really have a separate, so we don't really know the answers to trivia questions, so we're going to give ourselves 10 seconds to Google the answer. You ask us any question you want. If we can't Google it in 10 seconds, you win. Now, I consider myself a typer with low to medium typing skills. You know, I back myself

to fire off an email in an acceptable amount of time, but you wouldn't want me transcribing a fraud court case or something. No, no. It's just the under 10 seconds pressure. It's quite a lot of pressure. We'll do an example right now. Producer Juliet, do you want to have an example? Yes. Okay, so you're on Google right now.

Let's go. Dwayne The Rock Johnson star sign. Oh, God. Johnson. You do get into a panic. Taurus. She got the answer. And you inevitably just end up yelling the answer.

Taurus. You get quite panicked, don't you? Well, listen, we've got a full board of calls. People wanting to play the Google games. Hell pizza to give away. Let's start with Lee in Auckland. Morning, Lee. How's lockdown treating you? It's alright. I'm still working.

Oh, you're lucky. You have some form of normality. Yep. What do you do, Lee? I'm a truck driver. Oh, a truck driver. Well, good on you. Essential worker out there doing it hard. Hey, good on you, Lee. All right, what do we need to Google? We've got 10 seconds to do it.

Jono, this one's for you. Lee, what's the question? What is the name of the first tank ever made? First tank ever made. First tank ever made, Little Willie. That's correct. Yeah. You've got there with plenty of time,

but we're going to give you out some hell pizza as well, all right? You enjoy your day. Thank you very much. Thank you for driving trucks around the country. Very important job. Good on you, Lee. 1915 that tank was made. Oh, there we go.

Little Willie. Little Willie. There we go. I can't help feel that Lee was setting us up there. Yeah. Well played. We won't go there. We'll go to Laura in New Plymouth, Morena.

Laura. Laura. Hi. All right. Question for Ben. He. We'll go to Laura in New Plymouth, Morena. Laura. Hi. All right, question for Ben. He's got 10 seconds to Google the Google Games. My fingers are on the keyboard. Ready to go. Who makes Unicorn Blood lipstick? Unicorn Blood lipstick.

Go, type. Use your fingers. Warm those fingers up. Four seconds left. It's coming through. It's coming through. Oh, Jeffrey Star. Four seconds left. It's coming through. It's coming through. Jeffrey Star.

Is it Jeffrey Star Cosmetics? It is. I didn't quite get there in time. We're going to send you out some hell pizza. Oh, awesome. Thank you. Very fumbly. I'll put that down to our shaky Wi-Fi. Jew, you can do this next one.

We'll bring Daryl in from T-Boy. Morning, Daryl. How are you? Morning, boy. Lovely to have you on, Daryl. All right, what's your question for Jew, the Google Games? For Jew, eh? Hey, what's my middle name?

Daryl. He's last, though. He's found a hole in our format. Well done, Daryl. Help beats the gum in your wake, my friend. You have a great day, all right? We apologise in advance. Sorry Well done, Daryl. Help beats the gum and you'll wait, my friend. You have a great day, right? We apologise in advance. Sorry about that.

Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this. Sorry you've been dragged into this. Jono and Pam. Breakfast on the heads. The heads. The heads. Carrying your phone

everywhere you go these days and particularly at the moment where you're like, if you go into a place you have to scan in through the COVID app. So I find a boy's got my... They're not tracking me, mate.

The 5G madness. I opened the borders. I opened the borders. What? Yeah, so I've got my finder in my hand at the moment. And so I was talking about this the other day, how I like to take photos of my handbrake. If I park my car on a hill or if I park my car for a couple of days,

I take a photo of my handbrake. That's not a euphemism as well. It's the handbrake in the car because I've had, you know, a much publicised, we've talked about this. Checkered. A checkered, where I feel like I put on a handbrake and they found the car rolling down the driveway. And so since then, I've been a little bit like,

oh, geez, just to make sure if it's ever on a hill or if anywhere, I'm like, oh, just take the occasional photo of a handbrake. And now I'm using the phone because I've got it, just like my memory if anywhere, I'm like, oh, just take the occasional photo of a handbrake. And now I'm using the phone because I've got it, just like my memory. Like, it's like, oh, we need milk. I'll just take a photo of the milk bottle. Or if I like park a car in a busy like car park

and I'm like, oh, I'll never remember where the car is. I'll just take a photo of the car. I'm like, I feel like I'm using, like I'm going to run out of, my memories are going to be no good in the future because all I'm doing is taking photos. Oh, so you take photos of a to-do list, essentially. And then if I'm like, I've got an iron,

I ironed my shirt the other day, I'm like, oh, did I turn the iron off? I took a photo of the iron. But that's the thing. So I don't have to think about these things later. Mate, your photo stream's more clogged up than me after a bash on the buffet. Like, it's just full of stuff.

And whoever goes back and looks over photos, we never sit down and go, alright, let's sit down for a few hours and just scroll through some photos. Yeah, because our photos all load up to the cloud at home. And so Amanda, you know, my wife and I, our photos all combine together and she's like, oh my god, there's

photos of the iron unplugged, there's photos of a car in a car park, there's the milk, what was the milk bottle photo? I was like, oh, I needed milk. So I just took a, you know, it's clog, you're right. It's just clogging up. A clog, yeah. But Julian, I imagine your phone's just full of nonsense.

Yeah, it literally is. And I actually, similarly, sort of, I entered one of those car parks that registers your number plate. And if you've got the app, it charges you. You get two hours free. And once I entered one of those car parks, I was like, sweet, good to go. And then I went to leave the car park and it charged me as if I didn't have the app where you get two hours free parking.

And I was like, this is a disgrace. So now every time I go into car parks like that, I take a photo of me entering in the car so that they can't prove that I didn't, you know. Much like Oprah is with Corden getting the jump on her with his Prince Harry interview. Julie, it was livid, livid. The other thing too I noticed is if something mildly interesting happens and you're with a group of people, people just pull their phones out. The puppy in the studio.

A puppy just walked into the studio. There were like five phones, like the paparazzi phones. And then you feel like if you don't pull your phone out, that you're signifying that you don't feel this occasion's momentous enough to store in your photo stream.

Why would you not take a photo of that cute puppy? Take a photo of it, you monster. I don't want to. I'm never going to look at it. Oh, you hate puppies. I actually looked online

and because I'm like, when you're taking photos of things, is it going to be good for your memory of that event Oh, you hate puppies. It was a cute bit. I actually looked online and, because I'm like, when you're taking photos of things, is it going to be good for your memory of that event or that occasion or worse? And they were saying, scientists, scientists, people that know these things,

sometimes it can do the opposite. If you take a photo, it can spoil our memories because we're basically concentrating on the picture or the photo or the video we're taking of the concert and you're not actually, it's not actually ingraining in your memory like it would if you were just experiencing it for yourself.

So the premise of this whole rant was use nature's photo stream, your mind, and you remember your photos forever except when you get Alzheimer's and then you slowly forget them and make up new photos. But I've got videos and videos of McNamara singing in concert, guys. At a distorted level.

And then the lights just blind the camera anyway. And from like 100 metres back as well. Were you even at Macklemore? Was it a strip club? It was Macklemore, right? Photography evidence. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits.

The legendary Crowded House are about to go on tour in March. They're just working out the dates all because of what's going on in New Zealand at the moment with the current alert levels. They've got a new single to the island that's out now. And Dreamers are the Waiting. Sorry, Dreamers are Waiting, Crowded House's new album. Their first album over a year and over a decade, sorry. It's a decade.

Jeez. June 4th, that's out. You can pre-order it right now from JB Hi-Fi. over a year and over a decade, sorry. It's a decade. Jeez. June 4th, that's out. You can pre-order it right now from JB Hi-Fi and joining us on the phone right now, the legendary Neil Finn. How are you, Neil? Very well, thank you. Lovely to have you on.

Lovely to hear your dulcet tones again. What part of the world are you in? I'm in Auckland, Newton. Oh, yes, I've heard of Newton. Yeah, just kind of, you know, in the bubble. Crowded House have got an album that, speaking of COVID, you guys had to sort of put on, I guess, on hold. It started last February, and then you basically worked on it

individually in your own home studios. What's the quickest that you've ever written a song? Three microseconds. Three microseconds? No, one did beam in that quickly once but it actually took me about half an hour to get it out and that was Better Be Home Soon. It was probably the fastest song I've ever written and it was

first thing in the morning, jumped out of bed. I mean, it doesn't pay to sort of look at those and go, well, they're obviously the best ones because they're not always. Some of the ones that I've laboured over, one of my favourite songs, Fall At Your Feet, had three different verses and took about two years to complete. So there's no rules.

Whatever it takes, just keep working. Yeah. Now, Crowded House have got a new single, To The Island. It's out now. You're all going well, going on tour. The dates are going to be announced pretty shortly. But you've got two of your sons in the band right now. What's it like, you know, being obviously their dad

and having them in the band? You know, do they have to listen to you? No, there's no real, I mean, we've really gone beyond. We've played together a lot over the years anyway, so we've developed a really good musical rapport. They've gone off and had fantastic experience on their own and been writers and arrangers and performers. So they come to the whole thing very much as equals in a musical sense. What's Christmas time like at your household when everyone's together?

Because obviously your brother, extremely talented like yourself, Tim Finn, you've got Neil Finn, you've got your sons. Is everyone singing out, doing themselves with harmonies and Christmas carols and things like that? We don't sing many Christmas carols.

We sing a lot. We've been lucky enough to do big family shindigs where we sing for the family and for friends. You know, there's quite a mythical, actually, and almost legendary band within this tight little circle called Stallion, who have only performed six times, and they are really the ultimate covers band, made up of, yeah, I'm not even going to tell you who's in it.

It's a secret. Oh, it's a secret oh it's a secret oh a secret family band I love it will Stallion do any public gigs well

they have to be very favourable terms no you can't just wander off the street for that one John you have to be invited

how many instruments can you play Neil because you've been playing music a long time well I mean I'm a piano guitar guy I can hear a decent

sound out of a few other things but no it, it's just all about piano and guitar. Because that's one thing I always regret, is never learning an instrument. I've got my kids doing drums and guitar at the moment, and it feels like you get to a stage in life when you're an adult, and I'm like, I wouldn't be able to learn it now. No, you probably wouldn't. That's what I wanted you to say, Neil, was it's never too late to learn. No, we're really always happy that not everyone in the world can play music. You know, where would we be?

That's right. You'd be out of a gig. You'd be out of a gig. Now, you've obviously had to shift the dates of the shows coming up. Has it been a bit of a niggle? Oh, well, I mean, we're on a knife's edge for this whole thing. We're understanding of the risk we were taking just having a tour booked, given that

rightly so, New Zealand has cracked into gear on a few occasions now. We understood the parameters. We were so eager to play, and it's any place in the world you can, and we're very hopeful that we still will be able to. We've shifted the first week into the last week. Fingers crossed,

arms and heads crossed, touching every bit of wood we can find. I think the tour's going to go ahead. I have a good feeling. Well, yeah, hopefully that's the case and right now you can catch the new single to the island out now and Crowded House Dreamers are waiting. The album is going to be out on June 4th. Free order a copy now at JB

Hi-Fi and it's signed. Personally signed. I don't know if it's personally signed, but we signed. Of course it's personally signed. There's no fakes in this bloody band, man. Of course it's personally signed. As we speak, Nick Seymour is finishing his 33rd thousand signature. He's

signing them all personally. Do the signatures get a bit more wayward from 33,000 in when you're signing? We take pride. We take pride. We miss a few letters out here and there, but they're still all of high quality. I must come clean, Neil. Many years ago, I was working on the Rock

radio station. A friend of mine was like, can you just get Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters to sign this piece of vinyl? And I went and interviewed him, and I completely forgot. And then so I had to secretly forge Dave Grohl's signature. Oh, that's a very bold confession, actually. I think you're going to be hearing from your friends.

But I wouldn't do that to Neil Finn's signature. No, no, exactly. Maybe on a mortgage or something, but not on a record. Now, quickly before we go, Neil, such a great body of work that you've had over the years. We just wanted to test you. This is called the one second song test where we play one second of your song,

and you have to try and figure out which one it is. Okay. Okay, here's the first one. Let it be. It was Weather With You. Okay, none from one. Oh, sorry, it was actually, that was a Beatles song, wasn't it?

Let it be, sorry. Okay. Here's the next one. Something So Strong. Oh, he's good. He's good. This is tough. Fall At Your Feet.

Four Seasons. They all sound the same to me. And if you want to go see all those songs sounding the same live, they will be on the road very shortly. You can pre-order now the new Crowded House album, Dreamers Awaiting. It's out June 4th.

If you get it from JB Hi-Fi, personally signed copy. That's very exciting. We always enjoy catching up with you, Neil. Love your work, and hopefully you can get on tour very shortly. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, Chris Martin, frontman from Coldplay, he's just run with a stock standard name that, you know, he could be an accountant, couldn't he, Chris Martin? Although one of his children, Apple, which I thought was a really cool name, right? It is a good name. We've spoken before about John Legend.

Whenever we play John Legend, we're like, was that his birth name? Is it a stage name? Does he just have an enormous amount of faith in his ability? And backs himself. Yeah, because there's a lot of confidence involved with a name John Legend. Like, walking into the room and going,

hey, I will now be known as John Legend. Imagine that in New Zealand. You'd be like, oh, right, mate. You would be John All Right in New Zealand. Or you might come out as John Legend. They would think you're a legend, but if you were too long in the legendary status, they would start hating on you and then pulling you down. Exactly. That's what we do in New Zealand. So John Legend himself has explained the backstory.

The origin story of his legendary name on Jimmy Fallon, the talk show and the States. Well, it was a nickname that some friends started calling me in the studio. The first guy to call me that was Jay Ivey. He just started calling me the legend because he thought I sounded like one of our old school soul legends. And it just caught on with our little group of friends. And then at some point I had to decide, am I going to stick with John Stevens, which I was perfectly fine with. I wasn't looking for a stage name. Or am I going to go with this more audacious name

and call myself a legend before I even have a record deal? And he seems like such a down-to-earth, humble guy. Yeah. And do people question your legendary status? If your surname's Legend, or do they just take your word for it? Oh, he must be a legend. He's calling himself a legend. Well, that's to say,

he didn't even have a record deal at the time, but now he's like, oh, I'm now John Legend. What? I'm wanting a rebrand. Personally, I want to become Johnny Legend. People might start listening to the show, being in Johnny Legend.

Johnny Legend. Why not Johnny Legend? You like Johnny, do you? Yeah, I like Johnny Legend. It flows a bit better. It does flow quite nicely. So yesterday after the program, we did a bit of market research, didn't we? Tested the audience out there in Aotearoa to see how Johnny Legend would fly.

Yeah, could you book a hotel room? And who would that be for? That would be under the name Johnny Legend. Johnny Legend. Johnny Legend. Write that down. You like that name? Like the name?

Is that a business name? That's his new last name he's trying to pitch. He's trying to go under the name Johnny Legend. What do you think? I don't think he's legendary though. Oh, okay. Who is he in real life? He's just Jono from Jono and Ben, which is a bit more disappointing,

right? A lot more disappointing. I prefer Johnny Legend. So you haven't said either way whether you like the name or not yet. You've lightly danced around the question. Well, I'm not usually asked those sort of questions when I answer a motel phone, so, you know, I'm very polite. You are very polite. You're like, this guy really rates himself.

Yeah, that's what you're thinking. He can go with Johnny Legend, that'll be fine. Oh, yeah, there we go. Got guy really rates himself. He can go with Johnny Legend, that'll be fine. He can go with Johnny Legend. I feel like John Legend may have a little problem with that. Okay, so you don't really want to stay at all. No, we're just on the radio. I'm sorry to waste your time. You're just on the radio, just making

polite conversations. Yeah, we're just filling in time. That's exactly what we're doing. We're filling in time. I'll put my pen down again. Oh, sorry, man. Johnny Legend always disappoints, doesn't he? No. Oh, God. Maybe I should be Johnny Loser.

Johnny Letdown. Johnny Legend Day already up. Johnny people. What a legendary thing to do. Call up someone, say your name. Have some polite conversation. That's what we do. That's Johnny Legend.

Okay, so what we want to open up on New Zealand's Breakfast, 4487 if you want to text 0800THEHITS is the telephone number. Who has New Zealand's coolest name? Yeah. Is it you? Do you work with someone? Is it someone in your family? I thought Lexi Brown, the bachelorette.

That's a cool name, eh? That's a pretty cool name. Yeah. Julia, you airdropped something to Lexi Brown. And what was her airdrop name? Lexitacy. That's great. So it's a versatile name, Lexi Brown.

Maybe your name's Alexandra Applebottom. Yeah. Buffy. Yeah, Bull Buffy's cool. Fernando Flex. Okay, now he's just saying things off the top of his head. Johnny Legend's not so good on the spot. Fran Firestarter.

Give us a call right now, 0800-THE-HITS-4487. We're looking for New Zealand's coolest name. Can head. Johnny Legend's not so good on the spot. Fran Firestarter. Give us a call right now. 0800 the hits. 4487. We're looking for New Zealand's coolest name. Can it beat Johnny Legend? We'll head to Karen. Hit the song, Jew.

Hit the song. My name is My name is Karen. It's your son. It is my son. Yeah. His name is

Maverick Ray Beauchamp. Maverick Ray? Ohamp. Maverick Ray? Oh, my God. Like Top Gun. Yep, that's it. If he is not fighting baddies for the rest of his life, Maverick Ray has chosen the wrong profession. That is such a cool name.

I know, and he's 20 today. Happy birthday, Maverick Ray. Yeah. Does he like his name? He must do, surely. He does, and he is a maverick as well, like in all aspects of the word. Tries everything, new spirit,

and just, yeah, pushes boundaries. Love him dearly. Were you a big Top Gun fan? Well, yeah. Yeah, who wouldn't be? Well, maybe you wouldn't be, but who wouldn't be back in the day? Hey, don't blame me, mate.

I thought it was okay. That was a great movie. At least I didn't call him Goose. Goose was the other character, right? Is that what he was named after, or what were the origins of Maverick's name? Yes, it was. He was going to be Nicholas, and then I watched that a few times when I was pregnant, and I was like, hmm, that's a cool name.

And I sort of, every day I would go switch between Maverick or Nicholas. And then after, when he's probably, when he's about six months pregnant, I was like, nah, it's going to be Maverick. Well, Nicholas is a good name, but you wouldn't be calling up for New Zealand's coolest name, would you? Yeah, good on you, Karen. And Maverick Ray, great start to New Zealand's coolest name. We'll head to Ash in mid-Canterbury.

Morning, Ash. Have you got New Zealand's coolest name? Yeah, well, my mate has. He's called Jimmy Cole. Oh, actually Jimmy Cole? Yeah, C-O-U-L-L. See, that rolls off the tongue as well. And there's some names

that you need to say the first and last name. Producer Humphrey had a friend there. You'd always call him Jimmy Cole, wouldn't you? It wouldn't be Jimmy. Always.

Always use his full name. And your boys were talking about Danger. We used to play rugby with a guy called Danger Wallace because he always used to injure our own players. How did Danger Wallace injure his own team? It's Danger Wallace.

Danger Wallace. Good on you, Ash. Thank you very much. ACC Wallace maybe Steph you're on the air Welcome Good morning how are you? We're good We're after New Zealand's

Coolest name So my dad is called Rick Blick It is Richard But everyone has always Just known him as Rick Blick Rick Blick

He sounds like a Gigolo or something Oh this is dad You're talking about mate Or a male stripper Yeah Rick That is a bit of a weird one. Rick Blick.

I like Rick Blick. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Again, you've got to say first and last, don't you? Someone's texted in 4487, Lucy Lawless, the actor. Now, that's a cool name when you think of... Oh, that is. That is a cool name. Lawless.

Lawless society. She could be an action hero seeking redemption for the kidnapping of her family. That's an awesome name. Lawless. Lawless society. She could be an action hero seeking redemption for the kidnapping of her family. That's an awesome name. I think I've just described the plot line to Taken. So please no one tell Liam Neeson. The movie was done. We'll go to Gary. Welcome from Auckland.

We're after New Zealand's coolest name, Gary. How are you guys? Mr. Frosty. I think that's a cool name. A cool name. Yeah, Mr. Frosty. I think that's a cool name. A cool name. Yeah, Mr. Frosty. Oh, Gary. He always phones up with jokes that takes me about five seconds.

This is a cool name, literally, Gary. It's all gone for a while. Jeez. Call him the closer because he ends a voice break for this show every week. Gary has come through again. Oh, Gary, that's so good. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah.

Nah. Yeah, nah. The whole movie. Yeah, nah. She'll be right, and at the end of the day. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Five words for 5K on the hits. You're only five words away from a massive payday.

Tell you what, call the cleaners. Tell them we don't need them anymore, because this game is sweeping the nation. It is our game of word association. We tell you five words. You say the first thing that pops into your head. And then if one of us return from the soundproof booth and say exactly the same five words, you're $5,000 better off.

And Ben Boyce has actually suffered a major outbreak of cash. He has given away $10,000 so far on this journey. And we'll welcome in from Wellington, Janelle. Lovely to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast. Janelle, how are you? Oh, I'm great, thank you. Can't believe I got through on the phone. It's a treat to have you on the phone, Janelle.

You played along in the car, you played along at home. Have you matched five words as a passive listener? No, not even close. Oh, OK, well then. But I thought I'd call up and give it a crack. Why not? Maybe this is the time to do it though, right? Yeah.

Better to do it now on the radio than in the car. You're dead right. So the big choice needs to be made now, Janelle. Are you going to pick Ben or myself? Today I'm going to go for Ben. He's the people's voice, we call him. Oh, geez. Back into the soundproof booth for an eighth day in a row.

They have faith in you, Ben. Locking down into the soundproof booth. We were going to get a cone of silence, but a giant novelty-sized cone was very expensive, so we opted for a soundproof booth, Janelle. Okay. You know how the game works. I'll list five words.

You say the first word that comes into your head. If they match up with Benjamin's, you will win $5,000. Here is the first word, Janelle. Mm-hmm. Uncle. Uncle. Auntie. Auntie.

Auntie. Locking in the opposite. That's. Aunty. Locking in the opposite. That's a smart move. Jew, would you have gone auntie? Yep, that would have been my choice, I think, as well. Great. Lamp. Lamp.

Shade. No. I've got my daughter and my husband playing. Oh, well, listen, Have a consultation, have a conference Family conference Yeah, shade Going shade It's good, I love this, it's a team effort going on here

Ask the family Are they happy with the first two words? Yes they are, they are happy Thumbs up, okay, third word Twinkle Twinkle. Twinkle. Yeah, that's going twinkle and little star. Hmm.

Maybe, yeah, star. Even though there's a word in between. Yep, star. Okay, all right. The fourth word. Botox. Botox Botox If you follow on with Jono needs some I will be deeply offended

Botox Yes, face Face Face And the fifth and final word. Paper. Paper. Wow.

Scissors. Scissors. Okay. Jeez, those are good words. Yeah, we've been playing this game a while. I think you should walk out of there at least 90% confident, Janelle and family. What have you put me down for? Paper, scissors or cut? Oh, I put you down for scissors. Do you want to change it?

No, I reckon scissors. Okay, that's all good. Paper, cut, scissors. No, I go with scissors. She's locking in scissors Alright, it's hard isn't it? It's really hard But we'll bring Ben out of the soundproof booth

Okay, great You're always going to second question yourself Of course That's always going to be hanging over you Janelle But as my dear friend emerges From the SPB as we call it in the industry She did well I'm not saying this to wind you up.

The whole family played. And they currently don't have a roof. They were going to buy a roof today. It's not allowed to rain ever in Wellington. That's right, and it's starting to get cold in Wellington. All right, Ben, you've got to match five words with Janelle and the whanau. The first word is uncle. Auntie.

Yay! Rock solid start. Lamp. Shade Almost went light Let's get some feedback from the family Janelle, what are they feeling? Two words in They're a bit excited I want to do this for you

The kids are excited I don't want to let anyone down I hate letting people down Twinkle Star I don't want to let anyone down. I hate letting people down. Twinkle. Star. Yes! I find this is the turning point in the game.

Once you're three in, the cash is just there. Oh, it's so close. Those kids. Think of the kids. I'm thinking no, stop it. Oh, it's so close. Those kids. Oh, stop saying kids. Think of the kids. I'm thinking of the kids. I want to win for the kids. The fourth word.

Botox. No jabs at me, thank you. Okay, I said that to Janelle as well. Botox. Injection. Oh! Botox Injection What did you go J-Dog? I went face She went face Botox face

Injection is I know to be fair to you It's probably another follow on word And the fifth and final word was paper Oh jeez there's lots of paper Yeah it's a wide one paper Oh jeez that's a tough one Patow Paper towels Final word was paper. Oh, Jesus. Lots of paper. Yeah. It's a wide one, paper.

Oh, Jesus. That's a tough one. Paper towels? Paper towels? Paper towels. No, listen. It all unraveled after word three. Oh, it started so well.

It did, Janelle. What did she say for paper? It started very well. Oh, sorry. Paper scissors. Oh, paper scissors rock. Yeah. Cuts was the other one that she was throwing around. Oh, okay.

But, Janelle, listen. You played well. That was a well-played game of five words and let's hope you get another crack. You're probably not going to, let's be honest. She might do.

Yeah, I'm not going to get through again. No, you should try. Let's do it again. But the time you did get through, we had fun and it'll live on in my heart forever, Janelle. Oh, me too. Thank you so much.

And thanks to your family as well. They played really well. Thank you so much. Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Lady Gaga, one of her songs, one of her massive hits, Poker Face, is getting a little bit of talk online

about some of the lyrics. Yeah, have you got Poker Face there, Juju? We're not going to spell it out what the chat is, but you know this song, Poker Face. You just go on Google do yourself a favour go on Google online and there's some

lyrics actually producer Juliet told himself the other day he said oh it was playing we're like oh sounds like something could be a little bit

rude in there but of course it wouldn't be but then radio stations have been blindly playing this song maybe for years

it might be the case because it seems like the lyrics are that way inclined had no one googled That might be the case because it seems like the lyrics are that way inclined. Had no one Googled the lyrics between the song release and now? I just think, well, who releases the actual lyrics? It has to be the artist. So people might have gone, oh, these are the lyrics.

And it wasn't until Lady Gaga said, oh, no one's actually noticed that before. Well, it's been the world's greatest prank from Lady Gaga because the family-friendly wholesome ass has been playing that song for a number of years. Now we don't know what to do. Hey, I was driving yesterday and outside a sushi shop, they must have been doing like click and collect, you know, a lot of the shops in Level 3, they have the desk at the front door

for the social distancing and I saw a tradie, hivers, love a bloody orange hivers, and he had the chopsticks, his sushi chopsticks, in his man bun. Sort of like a cutlery drawer for the head.

And I thought, oh, this is an unusual thing. Oh, so you just pull them out to use them for... And then I saw him probably got his sushi and he sat down and then he pulled the chopsticks out of his man bun

and then proceeded to eat his sushi. That's quite a good little hack. It's a great storage facility, although you'd be a bit concerned about hairy sushi at some point, wouldn't you? Yeah, you're right. It'd be like, here, my sushi's that from me or is that from the place I bought... Yeah. I've seen people around the office using pens now and again

to put a pen or a pencil in their hair. I've just been holding them in my hands. I'm boring. Yeah, well, no, anyway. I'm not going to go there. No, you did. You've gone there without going there. I haven't gone there.

I haven't gone there. I did see something online about festivals and if people want to try sneak alcohol and the most ridiculous ways people have attempted to sneak alcohol. Oh, you saw this online, did you? No, no, no, no, trust me, I saw it online. I haven't gone to a festival all over summer. And people would have, someone had like a really bushy ponytail,

like naturally very thick hair, had it in a high ponytail, and then sort of had another sort of hair tied down at the bottom of the ponytail, but in all amongst the ponytail was a bottle of vodka that had hidden and had been nestled in her frizzy hair. That ponytail was a bottle of vodka that had hidden and had been nestled in her frizzy hair. That's putting a lot of weight on your neck, isn't it? 40 ounces of vodka sort of pulling your head back. I know.

That lady's got a really heavy ponytail. Yeah, I mean, it was a horrendous disguise if you looked very, you didn't even really need to look that hard, but I mean, multiple uses for hair. Yeah, listen, I thought it was quite inventive um I had to do you use chopsticks well I am not too bad yeah is it so I just taught myself did you I just taught myself by watching other people at dinner yeah I first came in with a knife I held them like knives and forks I was like this is never going to work out because Annie Pryor never sat me down and showed me how to use them all right did you do did you

teach yourself yeah I think so. Yeah, I think you could kind of learn and you talk to people that know and pick it up. I always struggle with just when it's just the rice bit. You know, how to get the rice on the two chopsticks. Well, you can do like a little scoopy thing. Max was saying yesterday that he didn't know how to tie a tie. Did you? I didn't know how to tie a tie, Max. Millennial Max.

Until a year ago. You can teach yourself anything off YouTube I could have got a YouTube tutorial on chopsticks Every time we used to get changed when we had our TV show right at the start we'd be getting into a suit and then Jono would go away and somebody would be like what's going on here and one day I caught him secretly watching a YouTube video

How to tie a tie The most embarrassing thing you can be caught watching on the internet How to tie a tie video Step by step guide and I never nailed it The most embarrassing thing you can be caught watching on the internet. How to tie a tie video. How to do the thing you say. A step-by-step guide. And I never nailed it. Like, I would always have to go back to the video for it to teach me again.

YouTube is the world's greatest classroom. There's so many things on YouTube. You could teach yourself how to conduct a heart transplant if you wanted. It's probably on there. You could. A step-by-step process of doing it. You probably wouldn't be allowed to. We'll do it after 8 o'clock.

Okay. Okay, I'll transfer Julia's heart into your heart. Sounds good. It's happening all there. You could just step-by-step process and do it. You probably wouldn't be allowed to. We'll do it after 8 o'clock. Okay. Okay, I'll transfer Juliet's heart into your heart. Sounds good. It's happening all done through YouTube. Broadcasting live. And mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits.

Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz Hey, now Juliet's in. Sorry you caught me off guard there. I was caught in an internet clickbait article, as I always do, Producer Juliet, so I'm very sorry. That was okay.

And now I have to present a pre-written introduction for you. Here we go. I always wonder, when do you spend the time? Do you come up with these on the fly? Do you write them down? This one was very impressive. Yeah, they're really good. No one ever asked me to do these.

Yeah. And they're great. I know. They're really great, but I'm just like, we didn't. It's the most consistent thing I've ever done in my life is these mildly amusing

introductions. No, we start spying salmon news with producer Juliet and I just shut up and I was like, oh, Jono's got a little introduction.

Sonny has spent his day coming up with a piece and it's great. What is the time? It's great. It's great. It's so good. Alright, she's waiting

to pounce On a celebrity When they slip up Like the rest of New Zealand Pouncing on Auckland Here's Juliet So the Backstreet Boys Backstreet is not back Because they've had to push out

Their tour to March 2022 They were meant to come in April This year They were initially even meant To come in 2020 So they've had to postpone it twice Hopefully we see them By the time they're 60 Not back Tell me why in April this year. They were initially even meant to come in 2020, so they've had to postpone it twice. Hopefully we see them by the time they're 60.

Not back. Tell me why. Tell me why. To use some Backstreet lyrics. Can you tell me why they're not coming back? Because of COVID. Oh, it makes sense.

I just wanted to just you horn them. Tell me why. Tell me why. Have you been reading the news? Do you have a mild grasp on topical events? I don't care who they are

and what they've done as long as they love me, guys. That is so good. Will you go to the Backstreet Boys, Juliette? They're one of those artists where I know so many of their songs and they are bangers, but I don't know if I'd... It'd be a lot of fun, I reckon. It would depend on how much the tickets were.

Okay, if you got them in concert larger than life, you know? That's what that was, that's all right. Ben's trying to have a conversation and crowbar these things up, but it's not a free-flowing one, is it, Jude? No, it sort of works. Yeah, sort of works. Oh, John, I quit playing games from 1997. That was one of their songs.

Go on, keep Googling, Ben. Well, yeah, no, but it's hard because I don't know any of these other songs now, so I'm just putting it to words. He's just going to be mentioning rare B-sides that they release. So you're saying you wouldn't pay for a ticket, but if you were given one, you would consider going? I would definitely go if I was given a ticket. But also, if it was a reasonably cheap ticket, I'd be like, yeah, let's go.

You know, let's rally the troops. There you go. There's Julius Gage on the Backstreet Boys. Hopefully they're pleased to know that, weren't they? They are really good. Guys, what's the price range? An acceptable price range. Don't do this to me.

Are we talking under $20? No, maybe like $50. Oh, $50. Yeah, that's decent. Oh, they'd be happy with that. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. This lady who kind of knows us

would pay $50 to see it. And Billie Eilish, she's one of the teen sensations at the moment. She has a documentary out at the moment that's kind of covered her life as she's risen to stardom. And there's some footage of her meeting Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry backstage at Coachella. She already knew Katy Perry.

Katy Perry said, hey, this is Orlando, or like, this is my fiance. Billie gives him a polite hug, then just kind of keeps chatting away to Katy Perry. Kind of doesn't really look at Orlando, you know, intently. Knows he's there. Goes back, and then Billy's brother, Phineas, says, do you not realise who that was? She's like, what?

And he's like, that's Orlando Bloom. Go Google him. That was a wonderful reenactment of their conversation, too. She's like, what? That was exactly what I said. That's how the millennials speak. So, you know, get used to it. the millennials speak, so get used to it. So she had to go and Google Orlando Bloom. Oh my goodness, he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Bring him back to me. I want to redo that all over. I imagine too. Well, the first thing that comes up when I Google Orlando Bloom is a paddleboard incident. And I imagine she went, oh my God. That's quite a confronting shot. Yeah, no wonder she wants him to come back and kiss her on the cheek.

I'm just saying that. So that's, but Billie Eilish also said she's a huge fan of The Office, but didn't understand that the, she's like, oh, the British have done a knockoff version of The Office, and it's shocking. But not knowing that Ricky Gervais' one was the OG. Because the American one went on for many seasons, didn't it? It did a lot more than I think the UK one only had two seasons,

like 12 episodes or something, yeah. But they're pretty much just as big as each other, aren't they? Well, they both were big, but the US one kind of had its own life of its own for different characters and different seasons and stuff, but yeah. Well, there we go. Why would she know anyway? No, she doesn't need to know that.

She doesn't need to know that. She's Billie Eilish. She'll be just fine. Yeah, and that is Spy. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Mmm. Shona and Ben, breakfast on the hits.

I've got a note here on their little run sheet, which we have for the radio show, which sort of dictates what we talk about and whereabouts we talk in the program. You've written down here, option to talk about right now, biting the inside of your cheek. Yeah, no, I hope that someone else would have something more exciting to talk about that happened since we last left the radio show. Because this is a slot where we reflect on what's happened to us over the last 24 hours.

But you see, Humphrey's had quite a good story this morning about how, a great little observation that he went to get petrol yesterday, obviously Auckland in lockdown, alert level one at the moment. And he had to scan, you know, as you're scanning everywhere, but it was next to the petrol pump, which also said next to it, no phones.

So like, what are you doing? Well, that's a conundrum. Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, I was like, well, that's a very good point. So that almost bit me biting the inside of my mouth. Has anyone ever exploded using a cell phone on a forecourt? What happens? Why are you not allowed phones at the petrol pump? I think it's

to do... It's a fire hazard, isn't it? The electro feels or something. But then you've got a car sitting right there too. I don't know, mate. I'm not a scientist. Next time we talk to Nano Girl, maybe we can ask her the scientist. It feels like it's the same sort of level of crime as selling a not for individual sale can of coca-cola in a dairy

yeah well maybe but i don't know i don't know i don't know if someone someone maybe exploded at one stage do you want to take that risk though no why don't you see if anyone's exploded using a cell phone on a forecourt now we'll get to the sub the leading story it's hardly exciting but i just you know you eat food you don't but I just, you know, you eat food and you don't think about eating food. You know, it happens all the time. Some of us eat three meals, you know, a day. You autopilot. You do, but then all of a sudden you bite

the inside of your cheek and you don't know how it happens. And out of nowhere it's just the most intense pain. You know, enjoyable experience eating away and suddenly you're like, oh my god what happened? The problem is too though You create a lump on the inside of your cheek Which then stays there for a couple of days

And it becomes quite the bitey You keep biting it again Yeah But you're like How did I screw up chewing so badly? I do this all the time I know, what did I do? And it came out of nowhere

Like, did I do something different? You feel like you've done nothing different chewing wise But suddenly you bite your inside of your mouth And how did your cheek get in the way? I know. There's so many questions. Your cheeks are on the side. But just intense pain from like, oh, this is lovely.

You're like, oh, my goodness. So, yeah. The cheeks are the curtains of the mouth. They should never get in the way of your bite. But sometimes they do. Yeah, and your lip. Sometimes you get it on the inside of your lip too. Yes.

Yeah, yeah. That happens, but very rarely. It's one of those statistics. Are you more likely to get hit by a bus on the way? You know, it's one of those statistics. Nothing, I tell you what, cheek granted, lip granted, but nothing gets you more than biting your tongue. You need a few seconds just to regather your thoughts, don't you? I mean, what's something really wrong with you, Julie, if that happened?

You're like, whew, what happened there? Julie, have you seen anyone exploding on a four-four? Just a Juliet, what't you? Something went really wrong with you, Julie, if that happened. You're like, what happened there? Julie, have you seen anyone exploding on a forecourt? What do you got? It doesn't seem like anyone's exploded, but they say that if you drop your phone and it causes... It might break on the forecourt. And then it could reach some petrol

and then start a fire. But then it also says it is a myth. So... Hold on, your phone could break and then reach some petrol and start a fire on But then it also says it is a myth. So... Hold on, your phone could break and then reach to some petrol and start a fire on the forecourt? What? But then it says the myth,

which surfaced in the 1990s, is perpetuated through warning signs at almost every service station. But most experts agree that mobile phones don't pose a safety risk at the petrol pump. I thought it was, you know, sometimes when you're putting petrol in, you can see the sort of waves in the air from the petrol

fumes and I thought maybe it was to do with the fumes in your phone and somehow it could just catch on. That's like using one on a plane. I mean, what is me taking a call on a plane going to do to the navigational equipment? I don't know. Do you want to take that risk on the plane again? You know

I have many times. I accidentally left it on between here and Australia. I left my phone on the plane again. You know I have many times. I accidentally left it on between here and Australia. I left my phone on the plane. And if I had my iPhone, you could see it going back and forth over the Tasman. I know. And I felt awful. Well, yeah, you should do it because now we're a nation of narcs and we're narking on you next time you get on the plane.

I narked on myself. That's how much we're narking at the moment. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees, and this is The B**** News. This is a fun part of the show.

We always do it early in the morning. Ben, you always think it should be later. You believe this has got some credit. I always enjoy it. I feel like we bury it away early in the morning, you know, not in prime time. But I enjoy it. I feel like we bury it away early in the morning, you know, not in prime time. But I enjoy it. It's actual news stories from around the world. These are unusual news

stories that Producer Juliet, you've found and you beep out a word and we have to guess what the news headline is. Yes, and you ready for your first one? Let's go. Man realises dad in family WhatsApp group is **** after six months. Is the dad doing what

after six months on WhatsApp? I'm going to say it's actually not yelling and has been trying to figure out how to take caps lock off for six months. That's you. That's you.

I reckon the man realises after six months the guy in the WhatsApp group is not his dad. He's not him. The man realises dad in family WhatsApp group is a random stranger after six months.

Oh, there you go. There you go. Yeah, so it was this guy called Peter he accidentally added and didn't realise until his sister noticed. Who's Peter? Peter is his dad's name, but he added just Peter, a random Peter from his contacts or something, and it just didn't end up being his dad. But Peter played the role of his father. Yeah, he would read all the messages,

but he wouldn't respond. So he'd read and creep on the messages. He'd be like, oh, this is good to know. Yeah, yeah. You did a similar thing the other day with your email calendar, didn't you? Oh, yeah, I missed fire. I sent off probably, honestly,

probably about 20 email calendar invites to one of the big wigs at TVNZ. It was all like personal stuff too, like pick the kids up from swimming. We're having fish fingers and pasta for dinner on Wednesday night. And she still hasn't responded. She didn't turn up for dinner.

The kids are still waiting to be picked up from swimming. You're like, mate, I see you there. Remember, we got that message on WhatsApp. Both of us got that message on WhatsApp from this lovely lass who said, listen, sorry we didn't get to see each other at the party. Hopefully we can connect this week for dinner. Yeah.

I got the message. I thought, yes. I also got the same message. We even tried to call, but the number didn't go through to anyone. She texted Ben as well. Yeah, I know. What was that? There was a hole in her story, too.

Something about the party that she was like, sorry, I saw you at the party, but I didn't talk to well. Yeah, I know. What was that? There was a hole in her story too. Something about the party that she was like, sorry, I saw you at the party, but I didn't talk to you. Yeah. I was too drunk or something. Or she scammed her or something. I don't know how we were scamming, you know. Well, I suck at her because I haven't been to a party in five years. Next one. Amazon changed

its new app logo after some people said it looks like... I'm going to say it looks like something comical that producer Juliet would bring up in her news and beats. That's probably right, actually. I'm going to say Jono's head. Look at Jono's head. They're like, we're going to change that.

Amazon changed its new app logo after some people said it looks like Hitler's moustache. Oh, jeez. Okay. So the Amazon logo previously looked like a cardboard box with some blue tape over it, kind of like a cardboard box delivery. But the tape looked like a little moustache because it's got the Amazon tick, which kind of looks like a smiley face, like a little mouth. So it's got a little mouth and the little cardboard box sort of square looks like the moustache.

The tape kind of looks like the square. And so then they changed it to one that doesn't resemble Hitler's moustache. Yeah, the cape kind of looks like the square. And so then they changed it to one that doesn't resemble Hitler's moustache. I mean, Hitler did not do good things for that moustache. No. That moustache has been tarnished, hasn't it? Because before that, he was a massive Charlie Chaplin fan. Is that what? And that's why he grew them.

So Chaplin had the mou before Hitler, and Hitler was like, I love you. Much like you when you got all your earrings like Dennis Rodman in the 90s. Yeah, yeah, sure. Hitler was like, copied his, what am I trying to say? Moustache, yeah. Yeah, his moustache. And then Chapman was like, oh, better whack this off. Yeah, wow.

My dad made me take back my earrings to Pascal's. Did you actually have earrings? Yeah, I did. Wow. I was going through a phase, you know, as a teenager, scrunched on teenager. He dyed his hair pink like Dennis Rodman and got big earrings. And my dad's like, no son of mine, and then took this thing back. I was like, they were pretty big though.

He was like, you'd have a small one, but a big, you know. Didn't he say you looked like a pirate? Yeah, so in hindsight, I probably did. And the final one. Estonian rapper Tommy Cash unveils... I'm going to say, Tommy Cash, the rapper has unveiled a sexy new lingerie line with Adidas. Oh, I'm going to say...

Not enough rappers releasing lingerie. I don't think any so far. I'm going to say, very controversial, he's come out with a Nike shoe named by Adidas. Estonian rapper Tommy Cash unveils longest shoes in the world with Adidas. So they literally look like baguettes. People are saying you can chuck some ham in them and take them to Subway because they look like baguettes.

Oh, they're like clown shoes, aren't they? Yeah, they do look like if you buy a French sticker at the supermarket. They look about the same size as that. You're just showing us the picture. So one metre long. And Shaquille O'Neal, as we recently learnt, he's got a size 23 shoe, which is huge, and he would only fit about half of that shoe.

I mean, take a look. Here's Tommy in them there. They look very inconvenient. They look like his legs. You're like, is that his? It looks like he's doing the splits from where I'm looking at your picture. You would not be able to drive in those,

walk anywhere. Imagine dancing with the stars, you'd be like, you just have to stand still. Yeah. And pose for one of those photo shoots. Not practical, but maybe,

hey, we're talking about it, so there you go. Yeah, exactly. And that is the news and beeps. Oh, very interesting. There we go. They need to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New

Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits. He's just like those alarming graphics that scroll across the bottom of the screen. He's always on high alert, this man. Ben Boyce, what's been happening overnight, mate? Well, one of the most

popular promotions that's been on overnight, mate? Well, one of the most popular promotions that's been on in the last 12 months were the Smeg knives. The knives, sorry, that New World. So you got stickers

when you shopped at New World and then you got to buy these Smeg knives. Top quality knives at a real discounted price. Top quality knives. Some of the greatest

knives in the world. Beautiful knives. Tremendous knives. But now there's been an article, basically the article was like, the knives and the greatest knives in the history. Beautiful knives. Tremendous knives. But now there's been an article. Basically, the article was like, the knives and the free knives proved they're super sharp. So that was basically...

We read this article this morning. So essentially, this is an article warning us that knives are sharp. Yeah, well, that's basically the thing. Actually, some of the knives are free. Sorry, I said that you had to pay a discount. You got them free. But yeah, so there's 23 claims for knife injuries

that people have lodged with ACC to do with the word smeg or knife promotion in the last couple of months. But I guess when you think about it, I mean, knives are going to be sharp. That's the thing, right? Yeah, smeg's taking the hit here. It's like they're making top quality knives.

I've just said it before. Tremendous knives. Some of just said it before. Just tremendous knives. Some of the greatest knives you'll ever slice with. Yeah. And you would hope they'd be sharp, right? You don't want blunt ones. There'd be more news stories if they were blunt. Yeah.

I mean, in New Zealand, we got into a frenzy about those knives, eh? Because they'd run out of stock at the end and they were like, we need the knives and everyone's getting all up in arms. I try not to get swept up in a supermarket fad because the kids have gone wild on them in the past. I'm like, we need to stop this madness because little gardening and bloody cards. Oh, the Disney dominoes. We went crazy.

Oh, you did go crazy on the dominoes. We've got to get this thing. It's like, I think it was Timon or Pumba or one of them. We're like, we've got to get it. And we're asking people, because we've got the book, we finally completed the set put it together

and then we've never looked at it since how many times have you as a family sat down man it was like should we give this away no we collected that set but I haven't looked at it once

we will give that to our grandchildren they'll be like thanks for the complete set cheap ass plastic Disney set what was the other one

the the mini shops. Remember all the mini little items? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. We love a frenzy here in New Zealand. Poppy was chasing this gold bottle of Anchor Milk. It was like this forbidden bottle of Anchor Milk

that she finally got one day. Oh, she got it. And that gold bottle of Anchor Milk is the most important family member we have. And Dolly Parton, the country music star, she has already donated. I think we spoke about this a couple of months ago. She donated $1 million to a medical centre in Nashville for coronavirus research. Well, she went and got her COVID vaccination yesterday.

She wanted to wait, but they said much like, I think, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield and Jacinda getting it early on. It's a good example for other people that look up to these people to go, hey, they're getting it. Why don't I get it? And she did a parody of her song after the vaccine. Vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine. I'm begging of you, please don't hesitate. Vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine. Cause once you're dead, then that's a bit

too late. That was a solid parody. Yeah. It was really good. It was good, yeah. Just after she'd been vaccinated, so I thought it was very good. There's 23 companies with vaccines, pharmaceutical companies. What did she fund? The Moderna one.

Moderna? Moderna, yes. That was the vaccine that she got, the Moderna one. Moderna? Moderna one. Yes, that was the vaccine that she got, the Moderna one. And we just get Pfizer here, do we? I think, but we've also put our chips in with some other knife promotion. And we've got three coming. A three company. Oh, right. Thank you, Producer Humphrey.

There you go. Anyone can whip up a vaccine, can't they? I don't know if anyone can whip up a vaccine. No, that's a silly thing to say. But careful, the needles are sharp, okay? So just so you know, they may stab you. Much like this big knife from motion. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning.

They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. Listen, throughout this entire pandemic,

and it's been a year since New Zealand's been going through it, Juliet has been there day in and day out, providing us with updates on Khloe Kardashian's laser hair removal. And I'm forever grateful. You're welcome. Thank you, Juliet. I'm glad you find that information useful. Now, in four days is Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's interview with Oprah, the big sit-down two-hour bonanza.

And a new report came out levelling allegations of Meghan's bullying of royal staff when she was in the royal family. I read this last night. And so a while ago, reports came out that she was a bully in the palace and that, I think there were cases of a few staff leaving months after each other. And so people were kind of putting two and two together saying, you know, if Megan's bullying,

these people are leaving, surely it's Megan's fault. Is it workplace bullying? Or is it family bullying? Because it's a family situation. But it's a workplace at the same time. Like, you know, the way that Ben, you bully me around here. Me? I consider you family though.

And I get confused whether I should lay a complaint or just take it on the chin. But so these reports have surfaced just before this Oprah interview. And now Megan's spokespeople have said that it's a calculated smear campaign based on misleading information. And that it's no coincidence that distorted several year old accusations are being briefed to the British media shortly before she and the Duke are set to have an interview. So it's kind of like they've re-put them in the- It's real calculated sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, put them in the prison. You just don't know, I guess, you know, in that situation.

What I did find fascinating, because there's not even a teaser trailer of Oprah's interview come out, but already there's articles looking at the body language of Meghan and Harry. The tide has turned, according to the body language. And, yeah, so they were saying, the body language expert was saying, last time they talked, they were in the UK, and Harry looked confident, and Meghan looked a bit more like she needed some reassurance.

Now the tide has turned, and now Harry's looking, he's looking a little worried, he's looking a little less confident, Meghan's hands on top of him. You know, so it's amazing what people were analysing. Oh, thanks, body language expert. What, from a 40-second trailer? His hand is clenched like he does it. And I was like, well, he's talking about some pretty heavy stuff.

The music is quite dramatic. Were you silent or were you silenced? I just want to make it clear to everybody, there is no subject that's off-limits. Almost unsurvivable sounds like there was a breaking point. My biggest concern was history repeating itself. You've said some pretty shocking things here. Wait, hold up, wait a minute.

No wonder Harry's nervous. He's like, you ten of that soundtrack? That is freaking me the eff out. But apparently, it's classic, classic reporting though. Oprah's apparently livid with James Corden because James snuck in there with that sort of carpool karaoke-esque London bus interview with Prince Harry before she got to release her interview. Tell you what, you wouldn't want to livid Oprah, would you?

Oh, you don't get a car, you don't get a car. Is she livid? You don't get a car. I'm towing your car. Who knows? The thing I did find interesting, though, is Corden is on CBS and Oprah, the interview, is going to air on CBS.

Oh, this is the TV network over there, right? So maybe she is livid with the network decision to let Corden air his beforehand. She could be livid. Very different interviews though. I mean, one's a bit more comical

and light and the other one's like... Megan Markle's not going to ask to go for a pee in someone else's house in a mansion on Oprah's interview.

So yeah, there we go. Well, listen, I tell you what, we'll be talking about this for the next three months so you can guarantee that. You're welcome.

And that is by Harry and Megan in Oprah edition. For more, you can head to hits.co.nz. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben Breakfast on the Hits. The Hits.

Does she say it's complicated? It is the hits Jono and Ben? Does she say I've heard that song a number of times? Does she say promise me I'm never going to find you naked? At the end there. I couldn't quite hear whatever it was saying. Producer Juliet is very quick on the... Yeah you tell us Juliet before the end of the show. We're going to find you naked at the end there. I couldn't quite hear what everyone was saying. Producer Juliet's very quick on the... Yeah, you tell us, Juliet, before the end of the show.

We're going to end on a good note, though, like we always do. Why is it going to be a good day? Let's rattle through some calls as quick as we can at the last minute. Carl, welcome from Nelson. Why is it going to be a good one? Today we're firing up a new Oklahoma Joe Smoker at work, mate. Oh, great. I don't know what that is. Is this a meat smoker? Oh, you're shit we're firing up a new Oklahoma Joe Smokers at work, mate. Oh, great. I don't know what that is.

Is this a meat smoker? Oh, you're shit, Tess. Are you in the meat business or this is just going to be a lunchtime morning tea affair? Oh, no, no. Well, it won't be morning tea or lunchtime, mate. It won't be ready until tea time. This is just a box of minterers come out, try some new food. And we're trying to re-

sort of, what do you call it, invent a restaurant in Nelson here. Oh, what's the restaurant, Carl? Brightwater Motoring, mate.

Brightwater Motoring. There you go. Pop down, see Carl, visit his new smoker, the Oklahoma smoker and try some

meat. Jono, you're a legend. Love your work, Carl. Have a great day. Thanks very much,

team. You too, New Zealand, wherever you are, have a great day. We'll be back tomorrow morning from 6 o New Zealand, wherever you are, have a great day. We'll be back tomorrow morning from 6 o'clock. We've got $5,000 on the line for five words for 5K. Catch you then.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.