Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 01 - Angus Ta'avao, 10 Second Business Plug, Nano Girl

Episode Date: May 1, 2020

The Rude Awakening GameNano Girl called inWhat's the correct way to fold a shirt?10 Second Business PlugSpyLost & FoundAngus Ta'avao called inGuess the price of the mattressHow many followers does Ben's Tiktok have?10 Second Business PlugJono & Ben's Home School Day #9See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast on your Friday. Tensions are an all-time high in the studio. Ben, a little bit of a back story. Welcome to iHeartRadio's number one podcast. It's not number one, but anyway, you keep saying that, so one day maybe it will. We came to this company And big fans of Google

Google Drive, Gmail We had Google running through our veins We had our system sorted We had our system sorted We did Now then we come to NZMe Producer Juliet She runs a Microsoft system

Yes OneDrive OneDrive We've been here for now a month And every day she's like You need to come over to OneDrive You need to come over to one drive need to come over to microsoft we haven't we haven't i feel like you're knocking it at our door like trying to sell something we're like oh no no come back tomorrow we just keep following you off and then come back tomorrow

not a good day keep coming back i used a tactic though i um made sure the updated run sheet for monday was on a one drive rather than on your google docs so that made, so that made you move over. She's slowly been sending emails to our OneDrive emails so that we can't, yeah, so we had no choice. And she explained it to us before I sat us down. I felt like I was explaining, I felt like I was my dad. Okay, good enough. Yeah, I did, I did.

You were sitting there going, oh, you need to click this or that. And you're like, click that one, make that your favorite, and then that will just pop up on the top of your screen. And we're like, ooh. That is literally what it is, what it was. Anyway, fun times. Okay, well, fun show.

I forgot what we're doing because of my Alzheimer's. Where were we going? Well, it's a fun show today, actually, Giorno. We're joined by Nano Girl. Very interesting stuff about a vaccine to do with COVID-19. Yeah, how long is it until we have to wait for worldwide usage of a vaccine? And an All-19. Yeah, how long is it until we have to wait for worldwide usage of a vaccine? And an All Black

who can play the ukulele sings a song for us on the podcast, so enjoy. The Songy Cornflakes of Radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Britney Spears yesterday accidentally burnt down her gym at home. How do you burn down a gym? Accidentally her home gym.

Was she smoking while on the treadmill? I don't know. I was going to bring that up and spy. I've got the audio for her and everything. She wrote that song a few years ago that gives her a get out of jail free card. If she does it again, the oops, I did it again. So she's spying for this time, she's spying for the next. The third one's in trouble.

Time for the rude awakening. What's that? Oh, no Shut up Oh, now what? Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening We are up early and we want other people to be up as well So that's why we put them on the spot with a live radio quiz Going to head to Whanganui

Beautiful part of the country Next to the Tongariro National Park there Louise, welcome Good morning, how are you? Are you climbing, are you traipsing through Tongariro National Park there. Louise, welcome. Good morning. How are you? Are you climbing, are you traipsing through Tongariro as we speak? Not quite. Can you just pretend you are?

Yes. Yeah, great. How's it out there? It's not too bad. I'm actually just on my way to work. I've pulled over on the side of the road. What do you do, Lou? So I'm a carer for the elderly in their homes.

Oh, how has your rest home been? You haven't had any illnesses? No. So I'm not in a rest home. I go to their homes. Oh, you go to their homes. Oh, how has your rest home been? You haven't had any illnesses? So I'm not in a rest home. I go to their homes. Oh, you go to their homes and they're all right. I feel sorry for the elderly. Well, especially if they had to self-isolate for so long

and then be by themselves. A lot of them are by themselves. It's quite sad. It is sad. So do you hang out? Do a bit of a chat? Yeah, just do their personal cares and yeah, chat, cup of tea.

Yeah. Good people like you. That's nice you do that. You do that. Even when he comes on the show, a chat? Yeah, just do their personal cares and yeah, chat, cup of tea. Yeah. Good people. That's nice. You do that. Even when he comes on the show, I'm like, jeez, you're far better at being a human than I am. Doing some nice things. Why don't I go and visit elderly people? Can I just say that it's awesome to have you guys back on the radio, by the way?

The more you continue the nice things. You didn't stop with the elderly people. You said something nice to us. You make the old people and washed up radio announcers feel really good about themselves. The elderly radio announcers. All right, Louise. What we're going to do is we're going to wake up someone from your life. Are we talking a partner, sibling? Sibling, my brother.

Your brother. Okay, his name's Aaron. Aaron's got to answer four quiz questions correctly. Let's be honest. They're low ball quiz questions, low hanging fruit, and each question's worth $10 worth of Hell pizza, which the gates of Hell are now reopened.

Yes, at hell.co.nz. Hopefully Aaron answers. What's he meant to be doing? Sleeping. Okay, right, that's good. Well, that sounded evil. Oh, Aaron. Yes.

It's Jono and Ben. You're on the hits. You're on the radio. It's quite a lot to digest. We know you've just woken up. And you're on a game show. Here's your first question, okay, Aaron? Okay. Okay, you caught me at a weak time. What is the name of the national

anthem of New Zealand? A. Cherbro Cousy, B. God Defend New Zealand, or C. Yeah, Nah, Yeah? We'll go with B, but A sounds good. Cheer bro, cuzzy. He's got the first one. You got $10 from Hell Pizza.

Nelson is known as what? A, the sunshine capital of the world. B, the naturist capital of the world. Or C, the talkback radio caller capital of the world. Oh, um... I'm not sure on that one. A? Yes, sunshine capital.

I said the world. I don't know if it is the world. I'm sure there's sunnier places in the world than Nelson. Yeah, there probably is. You're right. There's a lot of hot countries. Kanye West is a what? A, 2020 presidential candidate,

B, rapper, or C, mixed martial artist? Uh, rapper. Yeah, he is. He was going to throw his rapper, or C, mixed martial artist? Rapper. Yeah, he is. He was going to throw his head in the ring, wasn't he? He did talk about it. Yeah, I don't think he has officially done that, right? And so you've got $30 from Hell Pizza so far.

And finally, Israel Adesanya. It competes professionally in what? A, KFC, B, THC, or C, UFC? Must be UFC then. That's right. Well done. There you go. $C or C. UFC? Must be UFC then. That's right. Well done. There you go. $40 Hell Pizza.

Not a bad way to wake up with some obnoxious radio announcers giving you free pizza. I bet you want to know who threw you under the bus here. Yeah, who's that? Well, she can own up right now. I've gone now.

I've got to go to work. She's out. She's out. Hang on, hang on. Just a mysterious caller who's got to go to work.'s out she's out hang on hang on just a mysterious caller who's got to go to work you'll never know who it was Aaron

you guys have a great day thank you so much for being such good sports awesome thanks love it remember to double pump the vogels it's Jono and Ben

on the hits I always thought you could do a wonderful I don't know if there's much of a market for it but a magazine paparazzi oh with that

with puppy paparazzi photos, taking photos of famous people's dogs. Purely centred around the dogs. I don't know if there's much more like Brad Pitt walking his dog but you're like, no, I didn't get him. You just see Brad Pitt's shins and then

the dog on the leash, the paparazzi. Oh yeah, that was definitely Brad Pitt. You could lie, couldn't you? Well, that's the joy, that's the benefits of paparazzi. No one knows. I feel like you want to see the celebrity and the dog. But it's not about the celebrity, it's about the dog. Yeah, but just to go, oh, that is Brad Pitt's dog.

Whose magazine is this, mate? If I want to look, I might want to invest in the magazine or advertise. Anyway, now we are new to the Hits audience and you probably don't know us that well. And I've got a few little quirks at home like a few little things that I like that I like to do that

annoy the other people in the house yeah he's got some leather pants that don't actually have anything on the on the back end that's not something

I wanted to share with the hits audience just yet that was a little quirk though yeah that's a little something what's that six months

in we'll reveal that about you that's right you know like I like turning powerpoints off you know this Jono you know

he turns off when he leaves the house, he turns off every PowerPoint in the household. I just like to know it's off. Is that every, it's not like when you just, when you go on holiday, is it every time? Well, yeah, if I'm the only one in the house and I'm having to leave.

At the moment, I don't, because obviously the family are there while I'm at work. I was wondering if you were doing it before you come into radio, turning anything off, and then your family wake up in pitch darkness. I like turning the Wi-Fi off at night and stuff like that. I just like turning switches off.

That's one of my quirks. He won't sleep next to his phone either. No. Because he feels the rays from the phone. I just don't know. You don't know. You don't know, so it's put away. You put it on flight mode, you put it away.

But phones might be like in 30 years when, you know how we look back at people smoking while flying or smoking in an office office and we're like, what are you doing? But people might be out with their phones. That's what I wonder. But anyway, flies is another thing that really annoy me. I'm like, keep the door shut, kids. Keep the door shut. Can't let the flies in.

I don't know why. Flies really annoy me in the house. How many flies have you got around the property? You can keep the door shut the whole time. Quite a lot. I keep the door shut. So I got so frustrated over the lockdown. Even summer? Just keep the doors shut the whole time. Quite a lot, I keep the doors shut. So I got so frustrated over the lockdown.

Even summer? Oh, just keep the doors, put a window open, that's fine, but the doors. Have you got air con? Keep them shut. Well, the windows are open

a little bit, mate. There's a bit of air circulating. This is the debate I have with my wife. Is she like, it's 40 degrees outside. Yeah, I don't know what the fly's inside.

So I got so frustrated the other day, I said to the kids, I was like, all right, 50 cents a fly. If you get a fly, I'll come home and at the end of the day you show me, I'll pay you 50 cents

a fly. I put a hit out. Basically I put money out like a mercenary on flies. Well, hold on. Who's to say a fly's life's worth 50 cents? Imagine the fly's family gone, what? He got axed for 50 cents? Does the man have...

No. And I gave you Does the man have, no. And I gave you, we got given those guns. We got given these guns. Oh, they're too barbaric, those things. We got given these guns that you put rock salt in and you can fire them. They're called the salt rifle and you can shoot flies with grains of salt. Oh, wow. I thought it was too full on for me. He didn't want it.

The guy literally wouldn't harm a fly. Well, I have. I put a head out on them. But I wouldn't realise that the kids, because they came home and they were like, look, six flies. I'm like, oh, well done. You get, you know, $3.

And then the next day they were like, five flies. I was like, wow, this is amazing. Well done, you know. You know, well done. Why didn't I just buy a can of Raid? This was really starting to hit me in the pocket. But then my wife was like, at the end of the day, yesterday she asked, you know what they're doing,

don't you? When you're gone, they open up the doors to get more flies in the house so they could make more money genius that is um your kids are gonna be rich when they're old damn it so i'm getting hustled by my kids a fly scam that's a fly yeah so anyway so that's there basically the moral of the story is don't live with me oh i thought the moral of the story would be like get your house sprayed for insects is that a good moral of the story would be like get your house sprayed for insects and bugs. Is that a good moral of the story? Why did we need a moral

to that story? I just needed to kind of recap on something. I reflected for a moment. I was like, what was the point of that story? There's many lessons we can learn from that, but we won't delve into them. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served.

It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Good morning. Now she's getting kids excited about science with daily experiments and fun at nanogirlabs.com. She also has great scientific advice for us to keep safe from coronavirus. And she joins us on Zoom right now. Dr. Michelle Dickinson, how's it going? It's going great. How are you guys?

Good. You're in your laboratory. You're sorting out a vaccine for this whole thing. You got that nailed yet? That is not my job. Nope. Not at all. That is. I am not going to do that. How does that work? It's a bit complicated.

So first of all, we've got the genome and the genetic sort of structure. And then we have to figure out how our body reacts to it. So we need to figure out what our antibodies look like. We then have to find those, figure out how to manufacture those. Right now we're looking at an RNA process, which is sort of the instructions in there, and then put that into a vaccine that means that your body thinks

that it's already been infected and then can code all of your immune cells to battle against the virus. It is not a quick process. Well, yeah. How long do you think, I know it's pretty hard to probably say how long that process could be. Do you think it could be a year away, two years

away, or you just have no idea? I reckon it's at least a year away. And don't forget, even if we find a vaccine, we still have to build manufacturing sites to be able to make enough for the world's population. That's a massive deal. Is it a race between the countries to invent the vaccine? Like, obviously

there's a financial windfall from this whoever does do it first but uh well are some countries holding back on purpose are some countries trying to become the first across the finish line how does that work this is the most open source i have seen science be ever i mean china literally released the whole genetic code straight away which wouldn't normally happen so actually it's a race for humanity rather than countries competing and That's cool. So this is really exciting. This is one of the first times that, you know,

the whole of science is focused on one challenge. We've sort of seen this in wars previously where, you know, everybody who had a brain who could do something was doing something for one cause. We haven't done this in the world recently in recent history. And so it's kind of exciting. Has New Zealand got the facilities and the scientists here to join that vaccine programme?

So, theoretically, yes, we do have some people who could contribute to the science. Remember, these are really big projects. We do actually manufacture vaccines here, but we manufacture animal vaccines for dogs. We're not dogs, obviously, So we potentially have the capability, but it would mean a lot of things would have to change. What we're better to do is actually help collaborate

on worldwide science projects where we can contribute our knowledge so actually everybody wins. Oh, wow. Now, always, sorry. Now, people are very excited this week about being able to get takeaways again. Is there any risk to going, you know,

getting a Big Mac or getting a takeaway coffee that you could get coronavirus that way? 100%. Yes. Stay safe. There's a couple of risk factors. And the reason why takeouts are closed before is because imagine if somebody was infected as making your food, then they have the potential to infect a whole bunch of people, which is why we didn't open takeaways until this period of lockdown now, level three. And also we've seen some pictures of people standing really too close to each other while waiting for their burgers. So just make sure you keep your social distancing going.

Yeah. Have you been out to the takeaway store yet, Michelle Dickinson? I have not. No? I've been very good. Although we were talking to you last time and you're living in your office at the moment. Yeah, welcome. I'm still here. Has the novelty worn off yet? Oh yes. Oh yes. Help me. Save me. Listen, I know we had a discussion last time and I was talking to you about the wonderful health

benefits of gargling Dettol. Which we don't recommend. You quickly jumped on and said please don't do that. I don't advise anyone does that. But then the President of the United States said inject Dettol. So what about it now, Michelle? Answer is still no. Do not inject Dettol. Dettol and other disinfectants are great for surfaces.

They are not great for inside you. My son wanted me to pitch you an idea. He's a huge fan. He was like, hand sanitiser kills the germs, obviously. That's why we're rubbing it on our hands why can't we extract this I guess is where Donald was going why can't we extract what is the good killing agent

from the hand sanitiser turn that into a vaccine inject that in the system Bob's your uncle let's get back to life and it's a great question so the way that hand sanitiser works is it's an alcohol what it does is it dehydrates the outside of the virus,

which means that it explodes that outside coating. The challenge is it dehydrates every cell in your body, including all the good ones that keep you alive. So if you want to do that, everything has to die. What happens if you're full of alcohol? You've had a lot of drinks. We've seen the consequences of that. So again, same thing applies.

Just putting alcohol in your system is not going to help. I've got like a ke consequences of that. So again, same thing applies. Okay, just putting alcohol in your system is not going to help. I've got like a keg of Heineken slushing around there at the moment for the last four weeks. It's not doing anything. We have to be clear here, the hand sanitizer is hand sanitized. It has 60% alcohol or more. If you're drinking that, don't.

I'm glad you have to be clear. That's good. Oh, Nanago, it's always so good catching up. It's the most fun we have all week, and that's probably a bleak insight into our lives, but it's a lot of fun. So thank you for catching up with us. Just don't tell his family that. Yeah, yeah.

This is the highlight. Hey, look after yourself, Nanogirl, and we'll speak next week. See you later. Bye, Michelle. Eggs for breakfast? It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Don't tell the sales department

because it's Jono and Ben's winning ad. We are giving away free advertising here on the radio. The catch is the person winning the ad doesn't know they've won the ad until we call them up. We've half written an ad. They've got to fill in the blanks and we'll surprise someone now. Who are we surprising today? Do you like meat? You're a fan of meat?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone loves meat. Half of vegetarians. Not everyone. Vegan, vegans. They're not a fan? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone loves meat. Half the vegetarians. Not everyone. Vegan, vegans, they're not a fan of meat. I don't understand when, are you vegetarian or vegan?

No, I eat anything and everything. Yeah, good. She's about to eat their computer and sitting in front of it. Yeah. But, you know, they have the things that look like sausages, but then they eat them. The soy-sages. Yeah. The soy-related sauce.

And they're a horrible addition to the barbecue. I like the name, the soy-sage. Yeah, because he's a pun, he's a fan of puns. I had a friend of mine who used to eat soy related to us. And they're a horrible addition to the barbecue. I like the name, the soy-sage. Because he's a pun, he's a fan of puns. I had a friend of mine who used to eat sausages. High stakes home kill, Christy speaking. High stakes home kill. Now, Jono and Ben from The Hits, it's good to have you with us. Hi, Christy.

Hi. Hi, we wanted to give you a free ad. Oh, oh, okay. Okay, caught Christy by surprise, that's fair. I mean, she wasn't expecting this. Yeah, I wish that was a surprise. Ben was just saying how much he likes the pun name of sausages, which are, you know, the fake sausages for the vegans.

And we're going to give you a free commercial. You've just got to fill in the blanks. Oh, okay. Alright. Have you heard about one of the Kiwi businesses? It's the... Oh, sorry. I'm so confused. I'm in the middle of homeschooling my three kids,

so I'm a bit bamboozled. Oh, listen, what are you teaching them? Oh, we're learning about the history of chocolate at the moment. Oh, that's... Okay, well, tell us something about the history of chocolate. Oh, um... Not that far. Okay, I tell you what.

Liz, have you got one of your children there? Shall we get them to do the ad? Hi. Hi. Hi, Maya. Well done, you've won an ad for your business. Have you heard about one of the Kiwi businesses? It's the...

High-stakes homegirls. High-stakes homegirls. Thank you. Famous for its popular... Sausages. Sausages. And don't forget the crowd favourite... Bear sticks.

Bear sticks. Bear sticks. But wait, there's more, because that's not even the best thing about them. Let me tell you about it right now. Our cranks keys. Our cranskies. Our cranskies. Oh, Jono, you made a nice dish with a cranskie.

Well, it was a nice dish and then you ruined it with bread. I made cranskies and pasta. I was desperate for ingredients and then put it all in a sandwich. Okay, they're not a fan? That's right, it's not for everyone. It certainly wasn't for my digestive system either. And who could forget their catchy slogan?

Oh, yes, we do. Cuts by expert butchers. Ooh, I like that. That's good. And their wonderful staff, who sometimes like to reveal a secret about themselves live on the radio. This is when you go deep. This is when we get to really know you.

Matt was a sharp black. Matt was a sharp black. Now, this is your partner, Matt, I'm gathering. Yes, yes, husband, yeah. And what's a sharp black? It's the New Zealand butcher team. Oh, wow. So they represent New Zealand like a butcher's Olympics.

Yes. There's a butcher's Olympics? Why have I not known about this? Yeah, he was in the team in 2015. Wow. And that's the last time that the Kiwis have won. Oh, my God. So he's an award-winning butcher. Yes. That's amazing.

He's married to the Dan Carter of butchering. Butchering. Butchering. Something like that. Yeah. Hey, good luck with the homeschooling. All right, thank you very much. No worries.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Producer Ben is in with us right now and a very interesting thing you were talking about before. You were selling your house. Yeah, so obviously gone into level three with lockdown and having our first open home this afternoon.

You come on here, want to talk about your financial woes? There's a shocking, shocking market to sell in. If you're in the market for an apartment, head to oneroof.co.nz and check out Holiday in Herne Bay. What's the Holiday in Herne Bay? You did get a plug in here, didn't you? That's the name they put.

That's the name they put on it. I love their little things for a day. Yeah, it's like sexy and sandring them. Yeah, wine and roses and such and such. Indoor, outdoor flow, wonderful. Entertainer's delight. The interesting thing is that, yeah, so open homes are back,

but just two people per day viewing. So we've got two people coming in this afternoon and then a couple over the weekend. And so what do they do? Do they have to wear gloves and masks? So they're not allowed to touch any of the doors and stuff, so everything's got to be open. Wow.

But, yeah, we'll just sort of wait and see. And can you be in the house at the same time? No, we've got a bail, so it'll just be the real estate agent. Right. Very interesting. Well, good luck on that. What did you want? Horny and Hornbay?

What was it? Holiday and Hornbay. Either option will work, right? From producer Ben to producer Juliet, we've got some spy entertainment news. Hello, yes. I feel like the producers are just doing all the heavy lifting. We can just sit back. We'll just sit back, guys.

Eminem has had a home intruder the other night at 4am. This home intruder slipped past a security team. The security team didn't hear the alarm go off, apparently. This guy broke in through the kitchen window with like a rock, with a big thing, to smash it open, and walked up to Eminem's room and just stood there. And Eminem woke up and was like, WTF? Called the security and then got him out of there.

But apparently the intruder didn't want to steal anything, but just wanted to see Eminem in the flesh. You're slim, I wrote you. You never... And the security... I was ranting about security the other day. You were actually, yeah. They do not...

You know, 95% of the time, their work is required very little, but you catch them off guard. Well, that's because they spend so much time sort of just waiting, right? Yeah. And then all of a sudden, oh God, it's here, it's happening, you know?

You wouldn't want to upset Eminem. I feel like he's Winston Peters of the rap game. He'd get told off at any moment from Eminem. Exactly. And the Backst Peters of the rap game. Get told off at any moment from Eminem. Exactly. And the Backstreet Boys, they were meant to be performing

in New Zealand in a couple of weeks. Nobody had heard anything about their concert. We talked about this yesterday, right? Oh yeah, but now they've

finally postponed it. They've finally said something about it and it was going to happen in a couple of weeks. They were like, they were going to have to get in

by this weekend and then obviously self-isolate individually, not together as the Backstreet Boys, but individually for two weeks to do the concert. So they've now said we're a whole year away. Very optimistic of them too. I like their optimism.

But then also how are they expecting people to stay in their bubbles but being in one place for a concert? Like that's just not allowed in New Zealand right now. Exactly. Because we were like, oh, we'd better write a funny trailer about this going buy your tickets to the Backstreet Boys. Started writing it, and the news broke, and didn't get to finish writing it. But we had semi-started this.

So we're like, what's the concert like when the Backstreet Boys are performing in Level 3? Please stand two metres apart. Away from me over there. Everybody. You better pull it down, that's all I do. It'd be kind of good if there was only like a hundred people thing, you know, and ticket sales weren't that good. You'd be like, yeah, that's all we can allow.

True. Well, they were meant to have two concerts, but now their next one next year is, their one next year is only, they're only doing one. So obviously they didn't sell enough tickets. Well, that's the thing. I mean, all artists are probably like, they don't want to sell out Arena now.

They want to sell as less tickets as possible so they can still perform. True. I'm pretty sure that's how they're all thinking. That's how it works. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

And of course, many countries all over the world are struggling with COVID-19, but there are 34 countries that don't have it in the world. Does Fiji have it? Yes, it does. It does. Yeah, but Samoa, Tonga and the Cook Islands

don't have any reported cases. So a lot of the places that don't have it are sort of isolated. Yeah, I think Fiji's got like 10 or 11. I was looking before. Oh, stop bragging about not having COVID

all you cool countries. 34, that's not bad. Yeah, 34 countries. But then there are some dubious ones like North Korea have said. Yeah, we're fine. We're fine. Plus our leader, he's still alive. He's still alive and kicking.

Don't you worry about us here in North Korea. Everyone's happy. Now, we are alone in a building here pretty much at radio, so we found something and we want to give it away. Jono and Ben's Lost and Found. Ben says found. I say stolen. It's better if you say found.

Yeah, it's for the courts to decide. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Fletch and Vaughan may have been designated to give away this paddleboard, but we stole it off their high-rating show and gave it to ourselves and to you. So what you need to do is answer five water-related questions to win a stand-up paddleboard.

This thing is enormous. Although you can't start to learn paddleboarding until Jacinda says it's okay. Unless you're an experienced paddleboarder, I think maybe you're right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's fine. But you can't just take it up now. Until then, you can paddleboard on top of your family, your children or your grandmother in your lounge.

We're going to go to Jesse in Wellington. Welcome, Jess. Hello. How are you? Oh, good. How's the capital this morning? Oh, windy. Windy is normal. Welcome, Jess. Hello, how are we? Oh, good. How's the capital this morning? Oh, windy. Windy is normal. Oh, yeah. So this is

an, I'm just looking at it now, Astron Mercury inflatable paddleboard with $999. It's worth a thousand bucks. It could be all yours. Are you a paddleboarder, Jess? Not yet, no. Oh, I can imagine you along that harbour drowning or something and falling off.

Okay. Can't you just imagine that bit, the Coast Guard being called? Yeah, like, oh, mate, the idiots like you, the bloody, yeah, stop us from other people. All right, five questions related to water. If you get all five in a row, Jesse, you could be drowning next week. Here we go. First question. The inter-islander ferry operates between Picton and which city?

Oh, it's a hard one. Must be Wellington. Oh, there we go. That was a gimme. Question number two. If you find yourself in difficulty or trouble, you could be described as being up the creek without a... How do?

Well done. He's got two from two. Which river flows through the Amazon rainforest? Amazon River? These questions. Producer Humphrey, it's almost like he just, should we just give him the paddleboard? Is that what we're trying to do?

Question number four. Name a hybrid form of swimming, dance and gymnastics consisting of swimmers performing a synchronised routine in the water. Oh, you think synchronised routine in the water. Oh, using synchronised swimming. You'd be right. Can you name something that rhymes with schmorter, but you could swim in it? Is that the question?

And here's your final question right now. This is for the paddleboard. You get this right, it's all yours. Peter Burling is known for which sport? Yachting. Sailing, yachting. We'll take it. He's off, he's onto the harbour.

He's going cruising with the inter-islander on his paddleboard. Well done, Jesse. Awesome, thank you, guys. It's all yours, mate. Sweet. He couldn't be happier. You can feel the ecstatic nature coming through the phone. Good on you, Jess. You have a wonderful weekend. Look after yourself.

You got this. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Joining us on the phone right now, All Black and Chief's prop. Actually on Zoom, it's Angus Tarvow. How's it going, buddy? Not a pleasure. I mean, not a pleasure. It's not a pleasure for you,

but it's a huge honour for us. Oh, it's a quarantine, mate. It's not a pleasure for you, but it's a huge honour for us. Oh, it's early, it's early. Angus Tauval, thank you so much for joining us, mate. How's it going in lockdown? Yeah, pretty good. We've sort of just gone into a good routine. We've had our ups and downs, really, I suppose, as everyone had, but good to sort of see a light at the end of the tunnel,

enjoying some good food at home, some good quality family time, so can't really complain. Yeah, but everyone feels like they have to say they're enjoying good quality family time, isn't it? Sometimes you're like, man, this family's testing me. Now, do you find yourself just wanting to tackle things? Not your family members, obviously, but just think, you must just be having the urge

to train and tackle and run. Oh, well, you know, my son walks past every now and then. I'll just test the old shoulders on him. A couple of hits on him, eh? Yeah. Well, you know, he keeps me honest. I've got to keep him honest. So we'll see how it goes.

You're like, now who's in the All Blacks, eh? Who's in the All Blacks? Yeah, you want some? You want some? Take that. Now, Angus, I actually ran into your mum a few months ago in the supermarket. And she gave me an idea for a TV show. And some people normally go, I've got an idea,

and you're like, I wonder what this is going to be. But it's actually a really good idea. She was like, I was thinking about you guys. You need to travel the country in a comical car, go to bars around New Zealand, and get the best joke from people at bars. That is a good idea. That's actually a really good idea for a show. That's legit my mum.

She said she was your mum. She might have been just claiming she was an all-black smurf. I'd probably say it would be my mum. She loves just yarning to everyone. But that's actually not bad. She hasn't told me that. I know. I tell you what, put the prop in at New Zealand on air.

We'll go thirds on it. We'll cut your mum in, obviously. She's the creator of the show. Why not? She'll be stoked. Now, obviously. She's the creator of the show. Why not? She'll be stoked. Now, you have been entertaining your family over lockdown by learning musical instruments, we understand. Yeah, I think it's as the lockdown's gone on at the start,

you know, it was real novel. It was awesome. I was getting better. And then sort of by the last week, week or so, the missus has told me if I want to get onto my sax, I've got to go into the garage or at least be two rooms away. Because usually I try to express myself when I'm on the sax, but sometimes when I'm learning something,

I've just got this real like dead look like. And I just look at her for some reason, for inspiration. And she just looks at me like, what the heck? Get out. You're giving me those sax eyes again. We've got Angus Tarbell with us, all black. When do you think, there'll be a lot of people listening right now going,

when can we get back to watching sport? Yeah, well, I think Super Rugby on the whole, having Africa, Hagiwara and all, I think that's pretty much off the table for this year just because the unknown of travel times and that. Depending on how lockdowns go within New Zealand, we can't train together at the moment. I don't think it's all level two.

And even then, there'd probably have to be some exceptions. So it's sort of just like we're up in the air as well. We don't really know. We'd love to be back out there playing. But hopefully within the next, I mean, month or two months, there'd be some sort of domestic competition with just New Zealand teams and then hopefully some All Blacks test matches with Australia or something like that.

Do you think it will help some players? Like, I was terrible at tackling. Do you think now you'd be like, oh, social distancing, let him through, couldn't get close to him? Ta, it's rare. Well, you guys know about the contact in there, don't you? A sort of broken collarbone?

Oh, yes. That's the first time we met you, Angus, was when we went to the blues training a few years ago when you were playing for the blues. And yeah, we put Jono in a tackle bag and he got tackled by most of the team and you ended up with a broken collarbone. Yeah, it was a bit funny.

We were all lined up. We were supposed to run up and tackle you in this silly-looking tackle bag costume. And then you just got smoked and it just turned real awkward. I was like... You guys showed no mercy. There wasn't one piece of mercy.

Honestly, as soon as you came in, I was like, nah, let's get this guy. It was who could beat me first. And then I remember just being on painkiller. Your doctor gave me a whole bunch of painkillers and then getting a very motivational speech

from Sir John Kirwan. Oh yeah, I remember that. It went from being the worst moment to the greatest moment of my life as John Kirwan's going,

so what you need to do now, mate, is you need to do this. I'm getting a pep talk from JK. This is incredible. That is living, breaking a bone

and being inspired by Sir John Kirwan. That's not bad. I would do it all again. Angus, how about with us via Zoom, All Black. Now, your ukulele, you've been practising that as well? Yep. He's like, please don't ask me to perform it.

And that's all the questions we have. Angus Taubau, thank you. And we're done. And we're done. I was going to get into a song, but I can even feel through the internet that you're dying inside. I'll go and grab it, but I don't know if it's tuned in the moment.

I don't want to bully you into a ukulele performance. I've seen you on stuff.co.nz and The Herald playing a saxophone with other radio shows. I was like, you can give us a bit of musical gold, mate. Yeah, and to be fair, I'm bloody sick of playing that sax on, you know, getting my shirt off. Yeah.

Why not switch it up with a bit of, oh. A bit of tuning. We'll just get the tuning part of it. All right. Here we go. A long, long time ago There was a volcano Living all alone

In the middle of the sea Yeah He sat down above his bed Watching all the couples play That's awesome. That was very good. How many times have you watched that movie Moana Yeah I think it's like

One of the You know they have those Like little short films At the start of the Different films Oh is that the one With the volcano Is in love with the other volcano

And they're across the sea Or the other mountain Across the sea The volcano's by himself He cries The ocean fills up Another volcano comes But he's under the ocean

And he comes back up And love Love happens It's a Shakespearean love story comes, but he's under the ocean and he comes back up and love, love happens. It's a Shakespearean love story. Thank you so much for joining us. You're such a good sport and stay safe in your bubble. We'll catch up with you soon, hopefully. Awesome. Cheers, guys. See you, mate.

New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. 0800 the Hits. That's our phone number. You ring up. You tell us what the item is that you bought, and we work out what the price was. Now, maybe there's something you paid a lot for, maybe it's something you paid just a very little amount for, and we want to see if we can guess it.

I love this game. Jono and Ben, guess what price you paid for something. It's one of my favourites. It's basically the price is right. It's a game show, but you give us a call now, 0800 the hits. But we couldn't say the Price is Right for trademark purposes. Now, Drake, this actually spawns off Drake, hip-hop artist Drake,

who he's just finished building his mansion. I think it's in Toronto, his hometown. It's incredible. It's on the video of his Toosie Slide clip. Have you seen that? Left foot slide. Which you were saying yesterday, which you're right,

it just feels like he's written that for TikTok. Just for TikTok. I mean, the song's nonsense. It's like, but people are going to do dances to it. Yeah. And Drake has built this mansion, a lot of expensive stuff in it, but the most talked about item is his mattress,

which you found out was how much? Over $600,000. $650,000, New Zealand. He's paid for this mattress. It took people like a month to make it. It looks like the biggest size, maybe like the Californian King size. It's a big size.

I imagine there's no roll together. It's probably posturpedic, right? Sealy posturpedic number. Yeah, but $650,000 is what he paid for this mattress. You know, there was that ad and it's like, you don't buy a bed every day. Well, Drake could. He could afford it.

But at that price, you wouldn't want to, though, would you? That would be a bed for life. That's a mortgage. That is... It's more than a mortgage in a lot of towns. I couldn't trust myself on that mattress because I'm like, my body's up to all sorts of nonsense while I'm asleep.

I'm dribbling, there's all sorts, there's stuff oozing, there's, you know. Yeah. I would just be worried about what was making my mattress dirty,

you know, and you shouldn't have to worry about your mattress. So, 100 of the hits, give us a call now. You tell us an item, like Drake could have phoned up and said,

a mattress, and we're like, oh, he paid $5,000 for it. He's like, nah, $650,000. And we'd be like, whoa, Drake, firstly, how did you get this phone number?

And secondly, that is a lot of money for a mattress. So we're going to go to Polly in Auckland. You name the item, Jono and Ben will guess how much you paid for it. And yes, I just referred to ourself in the third person. I love it. I bought a pair of Louboutin heels. Louboutin heels, the ones with the red, is it the red bottom? You know your stuff.

The blood red shoes. Cardi B's rapping about them. So I imagine they're expensive. Yeah, Louis Vuitton. I'm going to go $350. $350. I'm going to go $800. The $800 is much closer to the original,

but I found them in a second-hand store for $120. Get out of here! No way! Just get out of here! So what are they worth, Brand New? Brand New, what are they worth? Probably between like $900 to $1,200. Oh, mate, you put your shoes on

and you walk out of here with your head held high. Well done. Well done, Polly. I could have cried. Good on you, Polly. Have a have cried. Good on you, Paul. Have a good day. Thanks for listening. Catherine's in Christchurch.

Hi. Name the item. We'll guess what the price is. I bought 15 really good quality 800 milliliter water bottles. 15 really good quality 800 milliliter. Are these sort of metallic ones? Yeah. What have you got?

You got like a rugby team living at your house? Why do you need so many drink bottles? I bought them for my netball team. Oh, okay. I'd say... I would go $350 because, you know, you can pay $20, $30 for those things. Yeah, I'm going to go $120. $120. That's a lot of water bottles.

Oh, yes. Well, $120 is right, actually. $120. I got it. I got it. You, actually. $120! I got it! I got it! You caught the game. I got it! I've never got it.

$120! Wow. That's a good deal. That's a good deal. This is the greatest moment of my life. I'm going to retire. Thank you for having me. Thank goodness.

Goodbye. We've been waiting for this moment, New Zealand. It's heaven. Thank goodness. It's a fun game. We'll play that again another day, eh? Yeah. It was real fun.

Fun or stupid? I don't know. The lines are blurred. A bit of both. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. Now, of course, we're in level three. A lot of people, you know, pretty much still in lockdown.

And the most popular lockdown snack that people have made, do you know what it is? This is between us and the UK. No, to be honest. do you want my honest answer? yeah I've given this no thought no I didn't I threw it to you on the spot you could go at something

like say an apple or a red orange something that hasn't concerned me I know I know but it wasn't about hey this is a life changing thing this is just a bit of radio fodder a little bit of banter

so am I meant to talk back and come back with some more conversation? I just thought you'd say like an item that you would have at home. I don't want to play your shoddy game, mate. You'd say like a, say a muesli bar or something. But anyway, it's cheese on toast. You could have said any food in the pantry, in the cupboard, in the fridge. But you didn't. Yeah, I didn't want to.

I didn't want to play that game. Cheese on toast, most popular thing people have had at home, according to this survey during lockdown. Well, my life is better for knowing that now. All right, let's go. This is the big news from a small town. Going to some big news. Small town.

Today heading to Taranaki, New Plymouth, where a wonderful cafe owner has started an initiative to give essential workers $5 lunches. Oh, that's great. $5 lunches. Oh, that's great. $5 lunches. How much are you paying for your lunch, you schmuck? Probably $6.

I haven't gone out and bought lunch so far. What a loser. These are $5. But I'd say I'd be paying a lot more than $5 if I went out for lunch. What a wonderful thing to do. So healthcare workers, firefighters, police officers, supermarket workers, $5. That's great. Let's go through to the Batch on Breakwater,

cafe and or restaurant. Raul is the owner. The big news small town. Good morning, Batch on Breakwater. What up, Raul? It's not Raul, but can I help? Oh, sorry. Is Raul there, please?

He's not, I'm afraid. Oh, who's this? Victor. What up, Victor? Jono and Ben from the big news, small town, on the hits. Hi, how are you? We're good. We're just reading about the lovely thing you guys are doing for the community, $5 lunches.

That's great. Thank you. Yeah. Well, we wanted to give something back to the community for all the hard work that they've been doing. What a great thing to do. So what am I getting for $5? Tell me the deal.

We'd like a savory, a bit of salad, and a sweet as well. Oh, $5. Chuck a red surrey down. You've got to sell. You've got to sell for a wonderful lunch. deal? With like a savoury bit of salad and a sweet as well. Five bucks. Chuck a red surrey down. You've got to sell a wonderful lunch. That's such a nice... What about radio announcers? Low rent radio announcers? Also essential workers. If we walked in wearing

our headphones... Laughing at jokes that weren't that funny. Here we go. We just had another gruelling day talking garble. Would we get a $5 lunch? Yeah, anything for you would be fine. Oh, great. But you just have to let us know because we're obviously sold out today.

But if you want something tomorrow, just give us a call or just give us a message on Facebook. We'll send something up for you. Oh, wonderful. Listen, I was just doing it as a gag, but you've gone and taken it as a serious proposition and you're offering lunch. It's like there's a few logistical issues.

How big are your hearts? Now, I have another question. One last question. You have a lot of questions based on this $5 lunch thing. Why can't we just say this is a nice thing they're doing and just leave them be? This is stick-based. Stick-based.

Are you next to the big bendy stick? The wind one? No, we're just at the end of Breakwater Bay on the port. Oh, I see. So you know, because they've got a big bendy,

48 metres high, that big bendy rod on the waterfront there. Yeah, the wind one, there's quite a public attraction for New Plymouth. Yeah, well,

Ben's bendy rod is quite an attraction around here as well. Okay, enough about that. It's not even meant to bend. It's got an S bend. Okay, okay. It's a bit of a dog leg.

You have a great day, and well done again for what you're doing for the community. Thank you. Thanks for calling. You've got to look after yourself. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. We've been saying it's New Zealand's breakfast right around the country.

Yeah, and we like saying it, but we're having a hard time backing it up to prove that New Zealand's actually listening. We've been spot calling everyone from the whitepages.co.nz to check if they are listening, catch up on them, and it's the only survey that 100% of the participants have said no. Like even that one where they go 9 out of 10 dentists recommend, all 10 dentists would say no. I don't recommend this.

So we want to ring Gisborne today? Is that who we're calling? Yeah, we're going to head to Gisborne. We're going to head to the liquor shop there. Hi, Liquor Lantier speaking. Here she is. Here she is. Howdy-dee-doo-da-dee.

Hello. It's John Owen being calling from the Hits radio station. We're just doing a quick poll to check What radio stations you listen to right now If you don't say the Hits you're going to break our hearts We're actually not listening to anything at the moment Look at here There's something in the background

Don't you lie to us Don't you hide your radio station from us What's going on It's the edge Get that us? Don't you hide your radio station from us? It's the edge. Get that. In the last year, we would have been all about that, but not anymore. Hang up on her. Hang up on her. We need to end the week

with someone listening to this show. It makes us look horrible. I don't know if this is not a good look. We're going to go through to another liquor shop in Gisborne. Here we go. Pretend to be a radio announcer. Okay. Why? Hi, this is Lancia announcer. Okay. Why? As opposed to... Hi, Licklantia speaking.

Hi, how are you? Is it you again? Yes. How many places do you work at? Oh, we've got two stores. Two stores? You work at two different liquor shops? I was just like,

hey, we'll pretend to be radio announcers, which is weird because that's our job. We are. But anyway, I was like... Are you, we'll tend to be radio announcers, which is weird because that's our job. We are. But anyway, I was like, okay. Are you the only person working in Gisborne right now, answering every phone? You'll have to call the Gladstone Road store. Oh, another.

Are you going to answer that one as well? No. Tell me what. Since we've been talking to you last, have you changed your radio preferences? Well, we can put it on the Gisborne, but we're on the TV, so...

Oh, okay. Love your work. When we call a third person, you might answer again. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Joddo and Ben on the hits. Bit of a cold snap, meant to be coming through New Zealand next week. 10 degree drop, they reckon, potentially towards the end of next week.

I felt it this morning. I was going to wear shorts and then I walked out, so I was like, these pasty white legs don't need to be out today. Now, Ben, if you've just joined the show, Ben over lockdown got his grubby claws into TikTok. Now, if you don't know what TikTok is, it's a social media platform designed for, you know, sort of pre-pubescent people. Oh, it's not necessarily designed for that.

I mean, Jennifer Lopez is on it, you know. She's been through puberty. So have you. Yeah. There's a lot of people on it. LeBron James basketball, you know, it's family getting on it. It's things that people do. They get on it. They get on board. It's a bit of fun. Now you've got me second-guessing TikTok. Look, I've been

scared to post over the last couple of days. You've got on my head. But I want it to continue on so I'm giving him a chance. So we're just going, Ben, you need to get 100,000 followers

by May 11th. It's not going to happen. I don't even have 100,000 followers on Instagram and I'll be on there for a couple of years. Well, that's why I want to help you because if you don't get

the 100,000 on May 11th, we're going to decide whether we, you know, react to the TikTok account. And so I'm going to help you. You're not helping me. You're just mocking me every day, mercilessly. And there's no help to this whatsoever.

Here's the music producer, Julian. New Zealand, we need your help. We've bandied together as a team of 5 million to fight COVID-19. Now we need to lock down together again, this time to save a dying TikTok account. It's definitely dying. While in isolation for four weeks,

Ben Boyce developed an unhealthy addiction, an illness far worse than any pandemic, an illness that has seen him actively participating in TikTok videos, some of which have been more damaging to the economy than coronavirus. Oh, jeez. Despite repeated calls from the Prime Minister

for Ben Boyce to remove himself from TikTok, for the good of Aotearoa, he has spread his content like a pandemic. In order to combat... A fully grown man on TikTok. That left unchecked would have an unacceptable toll on New Zealanders. I have one simple message for New Zealanders today as we head into the next four weeks.

Please don't follow Ben Boyce on TikTok. It will break the chain of transmission and it will save lives. For just one follow. There's all types of wrong you. Anyway. For just one follow, you can save this fully grown man's TikTok account so he can continue to dance to

Benny's glitter. Film unnecessary 15 second videos while dressed as a horse or pretending to fly on a broomstick in front of his garage while dressed like Harry Potter. There is no more important cause in the world than this at the moment. So dig deep into your pockets and pull

out your phone and give Ben's TikTok account a follow. To reach his goal of 100,000, he needs to spread this quicker than a virus. Jacinda decides on May 11 if we drop to level 2. And Jono decides if we drop Ben's TikTok account from the internet

for good. The clock is TikTok-ing down. Will you help? Oh my God. So this weekend, follow Ben's account. You don't know. 100,000 views. What if you blow up on TikTok?

Oh, mate, I don't know. That could be the best thing for the show. I don't know what that means, though. I don't know enough about TikTok. I don't know what benefit there is. It was just a little bit of a hobby, and it's now gone out of hand. 100,000.

You can do it, Altair. We can do it. Ben Boyce. What is it? At Ben Boyce? I think it's teaching Ben TikTok I think it is Ben Boyce

I think you search I think that's how it works I don't know enough about it clearly if you've seen my TikTok videos not a morning person sadly neither of these two

it's Jono and Ben on the heads as we said earlier on Tuesday about 400,000 people returned to work the workforce which is cool

75% of the workforce that's what Jacinda said. Yeah, because I know you said it and you're like, I don't know where I heard that from. And then I saw it on the news and she did say it. Yes, I did say it. I was like, thank goodness, because I felt like I made up that stat. It was a good stat.

Yeah, I was like, maybe I made that up. And Jacinda did say that. This is why people come to our show for confident stats. Stats that we say and then we go, oh, hang on, did I make that up? Maybe I'll backtrack on that. And then, no, no, I didn't make that up. So there you go. It was true.

All right, we're giving you the chance because your business has maybe reopened and your clients, your customers, they might not know you're back in business. So this is your chance to plug on the airwaves across Aotearoa for 10 seconds that you're back. Chris, welcome. You're on the air. Morning, mate. How are you? Not too bad. We're on the air.

Morning, mate. How are you? Not too bad. We're doing all right. You've got 10 seconds to advertise your business. Take it away. Ridgeline Building in Christchurch. Holly and Brian will build you anything from a mansion to a man cave.

Ridgeline Building. Get in touch today. Oh, hello. Mansion to a man cave. That's great. Love the voice too. Yeah, Ridgeline building. You're going to get some hearty building done. Good on you, Chris.

You look after yourself. Good on you, guys. Thank you very much. Phoebe, you're on the air. Phoebe's back. Phoebe is back. She's back this week and she wants to advertise in 10 seconds. Take it away. Hi, I'd like to advertise AX Screen Printing.

We can print T-shirts, hoodies, pants, anything that you pretty much wear on your clothes. We're in Auckland Beach Haven. Oh, she got there at the end too before the buzzer. Nice work. Is there anything you can't print? Cars at the moment. We can't do car stickers. Oh, you do cars as well?

Oh, you mean like the wraparound, the decals or whatever? Yeah, yeah. We're going to get a cutter soon. Okay, Ben. Back off her. They've ordered the cutter. It's coming. I was just having polite business.

Who's always having a crack about your cutter? Even when you're not here, Phoebe. He's like, when's AAX Screenprint going to get their cutter? I don't know. But the car's ready. It's waiting. I've got to bring it over. Love your work, Phoebe. He's like, when's AAX screen printing going to get their cutter? I don't know. The car's ready. It's waiting. I've got to bring it over. Love your work, Phoebe. Justin, welcome. Justin's back.

Justin's back. He wants to advertise his business nationwide. Take it away, buddy. Mending High and Higher in Transportation. You can find us on Google, Facebook and Trade Me Under Services. Phone [phone]. Oh, well done again.

What was the name of the business, sorry, Justin? Mini High and Higher in Transportation. Right, okay, there we go. That's how 10-second ads work. You look after yourself. How has business been this week? Picked back up? Oh, it's quiet still.

What's the turnover, percentage-wise, that you'd usually have at this time of year? Normally up around maybe $600 or $700 a day, seeing as we're only a little sole trader. Yeah, that's one of my butchers. He's like doing 40% of what he would usually do at this time of year, but it's enough to cover his rent and all that sort of stuff. Well, hopefully we get some more people hiring some high abs.

Is that what they're called? Yeah, mini high abs. All right, awesome. Good on you,? Mini high abs. All right. Awesome. Good on you, Justin. Keep saving. All right. All right. This is a champagne radio ending for me there.

I apologize. They always say finish on an out. We didn't get that out today, did we? No, I just kept talking. You win some, you lose some. We should have, the out was, anyway. There was an out somewhere. If we were recording this, we would have ended it there.

But we're live, and that's what's happening every morning on the Hits. It's a lot of fun. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Of course on Tuesday Takeaway Places opened up again around the country and it felt like the nation swarmed on places like McDonald's right? Yeah. And I was just reading some of the stats

so 10,000 McDonald's employees returned to work around the country this week and they sold on Tuesday over 300,000 McDonald's employees returned to work around the country this week. And they sold, on Tuesday, over 300,000 burgers. And guess how many of those burgers were ordered without pickles? 100,000 of them. Oh, no, not quite. See, you've done this every time I go to do these.

I'm not going to say guess anymore because you always go way higher than the actual amount. Yeah, because then when he gives the figure, it's actually... It was 19,000 of those burgers. It's not 100,000, is it? No, it's not. See, you've done that again. It's just every time I go, hey, guess how much it is, you highball me.

And then I come in with the stats and they're a lot like... I was like, wow, 19,000 burgers ordered without pickles in one day, but you've now said 100,000, so that's in people's heads. And everyone's like, oh, it's not 100,000,

it's not 100,000. Why? Are you a... I don't mind gherkins and pickles. I everyone's like, oh, it's not 100, it's not 100,000. Why? Are you a gherkin? I don't mind gherkins and pickles. I don't mind, you know. And amongst the burger. What about you,

Producer Juliet? Oh, I bloody love them. Yeah. I'll tell you what, when my wife was pregnant, her craving was, for some reason, was gherkins and pickles

and I would catch her in the fridge drinking the gherkin juice. Like the, I was like, oh, okay. Oh, okay, this has gone to a whole new level. I think we need some professional help here.

Yeah, that was her thing. That was her, yeah. I get it, though, because you've told me that before and I had a little sip of it and I was like, oh, it's got a little bit of a tang to it. A little bit of a tang, I like. But there's the other news that we just read this morning in Rotorua.

All three of their McDonald's restaurants run out of food. Yeah. They've been ordered out of food. So we wanted to give one of them a call now just to see, are they open today or not? Ferris Springs McDonald's, Manik speaking. What up, Manik? Jono and Ben from The Hits.

Hi. You sold out of stuff, but you're still at work. How much do you love working when you've got nothing to sell? No, we've got more stock. Oh, you've got more stock. Oh, you're back in business, baby. Ronald's back. How busy have you guys been? Because there's obviously been a lot of people coming through. Yeah, it's been pretty busy. Like, it's been insane. What's been the big seller? Like, so people have had no McDonald's for four weeks. What's been the first thing that most people have

wanted? A Big Mac? Yeah, definitely the Big Mac. Yes, it's a staple, isn't it? But I like to veer off on the menu. I like to troll the new burgers that you bring out. That's one of my favourite hobbies. I've got to stick with the original sometimes, though, eh? Working there, I imagine you get to have a cheeky snack every now and then? Nibble on a hash brown or something? Nah, like on your break, but no.

And what was the first thing you ate? Oh, I don't know. The McChicken. Oh, yeah. Oh, nice. What was the longest wait time? Because we've heard about people waiting like four hours for McDonald's. I don't think it was that long.

I think it was maybe like, oh, 45 minutes. And what's your protocol? So do people obviously have to just go drive-thru? They can't walk into the store? Yeah, just drive-thru. Yeah, right. And what, do you just sort of chuck the bag at them? Do you hand it out on a... No, not at all. We've got like all our gloves and our distancing, so we've got

new like clear covers over our windows and stuff to keep it apart from the customers. Oh, that's great. And what was the turnover? Give us the turnover on day one. I want to know these sales figures. She's like, that might be for upper management, I think. Give me those sensitive sales figures. We've already put you on the radio without you wanting to be. Now we're asking for sales figures. Hey, will you go and ship out those McMuffs?

Okay, thank you. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Good morning, class. Quiet, please. Quiet, please. Quiet. I said shut your pie holes. Apologies, class. Quiet, please. Quiet, please. Quiet! I said shut your pie holes! Apologies,

that really went from zero to a hundred. Welcome to Jono and Ben's homeschool. A renegade, unsanctioned educational faculty fully supported by the Ministry of Education in no way at all. Now, tuck in your socks and pull up your shirts. I'm pretty sure that's how that goes. Please stand and welcome

your teachers with literally no teaching qualifications whatsoever, Mr. Pryor and Mr. Boyce. Welcome along. It is Jono and Ben's homeschooling, the final homeschooling today. You know what I appreciate about that? The smattering of applause that we edited in there to make us... We could have put, like, a big crowd.

For some reason, we decided to look like it was a real lacklustre, lukewarm audience. And that's probably a good indication of what this is. But it is a lot of fun. We play a few games, a few quizzes throughout the hour. And you could win a Disney Plus year subscription. Actually, watching Disney Plus last night, it's awesome. Everything from Starks, Skywalkers to Simpsons, all streaming now.

And I was watching The Simpsons, and they mentioned New Zealand. I love New Zealand. I live in New Zealand. I know. This is New Zealand, so I was watching The Simpsons and they mentioned New Zealand. I love New Zealand. I live in New Zealand. I know, I was like, this is New Zealand, so I already even recorded it. They were talking about The Hobbit. It also taught us that New Zealand's beautiful landscapes and attractive tax credits add up to a filmmaker's paradise.

For more information, visit www.nzfilmhere.nz. And they also had New Zealand, the millhouse of Australia. That's a great way to describe us. That's what they call it. But please tell them that our borders are closed at the moment, so they can't come in here and film anything. That's right. Okay.

But we can play homeschooling, so if you want to be our star pupil, 0800 the hits is the phone number. If you are still our star pupil at 10 o'clock, you will win that year's supply of Disney+. Yeah, you've just got to navigate your way through four classes. They are history, English, music, and a big ducks

speech at the end. It's simple and it's really a basic school. It is. It's the last day of homeschooling. We can't do any more after this. School's been shut down. It's been an investigation, an internal investigation into somewhat of what the teachers have been up to. And so we need to let you

graduate and spread your wings. Yeah, you need to go on next week to another school. But we are going to be joined by a big guest as well before 10 o'clock, and here's your first clue. Hey, Jono. Hey, Ben. I used to drink 10 cups of tea a day with two teaspoons of sugar in it. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. History. History. They say it never repeats, unless this bit features in a replay form at a later date. So our first class is history. We want a star pupil on 0800 THE HITS. And if you are a star pupil at 10 o'clock when school ends,

you'll win a year's supply of Disney+. We're going to head to Invercargill. She's Invercargill's favourite daughter. Claudia, welcome. Hello. Haven't done the research on whether you're the favourite daughter or not. Hopefully you're top ten, at least. What do you do, Claudia?

I am a school kid. Now, I am a school kid. What are you doing with your actual homeschooling, not the comical radio version? Are you learning every day? Are you pretending to learn every day? Pretending to learn every day. Yeah, that's the way.

That's the way. When do you think you're going to be back at school, Claudia? No idea. When do you reckon? Ben, your wife's a teacher, she said. I think we'll be level two on it. Level two. So the kids can all go back at level two.

I think so. But they only said things on the way up, right, what they were going to be. So they haven't quite. It feels like they're making it up as they go along. And with good reason, the government, obviously. Much like our school, we they're making it up as they go along and with good reason, the government obviously. Much like our school, we're just making it up as we go along. This is history, Claudia. Ben's going to hold up famous historical figures

and I'm going to describe them. You've got to name six in 60 seconds. Let's see if we can rip into it. First one, he's orange. He owns many golf courses. Oh my God. Shake it off. Shake it off. Lots of cats.

He's got a nice mullet. Owns a lot of cats. Currently serving 22 years in prison. Big star on Netflix at the moment. I don't know. Okay. We can still hear you whispering even when it's through the phone speaker. Climbed Mount Everest.

He's on the $5 note. Sir? Edmund Hillary. There we go. speaker. Climbed Mount Everest. He's on the $5 note. Sir? Edmund Hillary. There we go. Jaw, three-way handshake, former Prime Minister, but likes pulling ponytails. Pulling ponytails was his thing, wasn't it? Lives in something under the sea.

Square pants. Okay, he didn't say pineapple. He's a comedian. He's short in stature and he stars in, what's that movie with The Rock? Jumanji. Okay, she's a talk show host. Short hair. I think she got the 6 in 60.

Just on the buzzer too. On the school bell. Ben's going to count it up if you haven't. He's going to be brutal. We're going to hang up on you and 0800 the hit. Someone else can become the star pupil and win the Disney Plus for 12 months. You got it! You got it. You got six. You got there. You got

there in the end. Yeah, you passed. You passed on a couple, but you got the six, so you are still our star pupil. Hold the line and if you're our star pupil, by 10 o'clock you win Disney Plus for a year, right? Okay. Good on you, Claudia. Very obedient student, isn't she? I know.

I reckon Claudia wouldn't be causing any trouble at school. Now we have a big celebrity guest joining us before 10 o'clock. We just found out they drank a lot of tea. With two spoons of sugar in each cup. Yeah. Well, it seems like a lot of sugar. So 10 cups. Too much sugar.

20. 20 spoons of sugar a day? Here's another clue. Hello, even though I've toured the world, I still suffer from stage fright. I have panic attacks and even vomiting before shows. I know who it is already. You reckon?

You know who it is. I think I know. We'll find out before 10 o'clock. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Of course, it's the 1st of May, Justin Timberlake, and he sang it first, right?

It's gonna be May. It's gonna be May. It's gonna be May. He was right, and it's May today, so well done, Timberlake. Second time you've played it, and you keep saying to me, it sounds like he's saying it's gonna be May,

and it always sounds like it's gonna be May. It hasn't changed. Play it again. It's gonna be May. It's gonna be May. It's gonna be May. Yeah, definitely May. All right, let's get to our next class. It's time for English.

Fun fact, English is actually John Owen Ben's second language. So it is our English class, a year's supply of Disney Plus up for grabs. Thank you to Disney Plus for jumping on board. And if you go to DisneyPlus.com right now, if you don't have it, you can get a free seven-day trial. Is Disneyland open? Must be. No, it's not.

No. Oh, man. No. Happiest place on earth. Yeah, it's just the world is shut down by this, right? It's sad. Yeah.

Gee whiz. Let's just all sit for a moment that Disneyland's not open. No, no. It really can't. Is Rainbow's End open? No. No.

No, it can't open until level two. I read that the other day. Oh, jeez. Yeah. It's all all it's all yeah shut up someone ate a bat one thing sports games attraction everything the world economy why did that person go this bat looks really good but they know the consequences it was about to anyway we won't get hung up on that because claudia's from Invercargill. She's our star pupil. Welcome, Claudia. Hello.

What we did just then was a huge dog leg and you may have forgotten what we were talking about. We're doing the homeschooling. This is the English class. You've got to get through all four of our classes. You made your way through history beautifully. Producer Juliette is going to name some words, give you the meanings of those words.

One of them is the real meaning you have to decipher, which is? First word is, God meaning you have to decipher which is. First word is, God, I'm going to butcher this. Nudiestertion. I've never heard of that before. Is it a Martian on a nudist beach? Is it the act of peeling fruit or vegetables? Or is it the day before yesterday?

Ooh. Nudiest-ertion. Um, C. The day before yesterday. Claudia. Someone's read the Oxford Dictionary. Next word is doodlesack. Is this an artist's pencil case?

I'm thinking, Claudia's 15. Is this appropriate, Ben? I mean, you wrote these. I just saw Ben laugh. Is this totally appropriate? I don't know. We'll find Ben laugh and I just made it up. Is this totally appropriate? I don't know. We'll find out. Is it an old English word for bagpipes or is it a sleeping bag designed for poodle dogs?

The doodle sack. False. Well done. Well done. You've made your way through English class. And we made our way through that odd word while talking with you. Yeah, well, well done, Claudia. Hold the line.

You are still our star pupil. You've got another round. We're going to music class next, okay? Okay. All right. She couldn't be happier. I felt like she started with enthusiasm. She's like, this thing takes a while.

She's like, how long do I have to be on the phone for? Half an hour? I'm using all my minutes up for this. It's better be worth it. Don't forget, you can snake Cordia by 0800 the hits if she gets one wrong,

so stick around and we've got a big celebrity guest joining us before 10. Hi guys, my favourite artist growing up were the Spice Girls and Ella Fitzgerald. Oh, I definitely know

who this is. Stick around for that. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Alright class, time to shove a

slobbery unhygienic recorder in your mouth. It's music. She Ben on my hits. All right, class, time to shove a slobbery, unhygienic recorder in your mouth. It's music. She's a little bit disgruntled. We're sucking up all her data, but she's stuck with us. 15-year-old Claudia from Invercargill, welcome back, matey. Thanks.

You have been a champion all the way through this. Only a couple of classes to get through. I find this one quite difficult. You've got to finish the line in the song. This is music class. Here's your first one, Claude. You're a saint and I'm a sinner But I guess that I'm good enough when you're lonely

That's when you... That's when you call me 3am... No, wait, I don't know. No, no, you did it. Don't back out of it. You just nailed it. You just needed the call me and you got it. Oh, OK. Good on you, of it. You just nailed it. You just needed to call me and you got it. Oh, okay.

Good on you, Claude. On to the next one. Hey, soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do. You do tonight. Oh, Claudia. Yeah. Have we got a jukebox on the phone? Do you remember those?

Thanks, Prima. Have we got a cassette tape on the other end of the phone in B you remember those? Thanks, Prima. Have we got a cassette tape on the other end of the phone in Bacargal? iPod shuffle. Because you know every song. On to the next one. The rivers and

the lakes that you're used to. Oh, get out of here! You nailed it! You've got one more class to pass, Claude, then you've got to. Oh, get out of here. You nailed it. You've got one more class to pass, Claude, then you've got that 12 months with the Disney, buddy. Okay. You stick with us. Aladdin, Avengers, Avatar, they're all streaming now. Start your free seven-day trial at disneyplus.com.

Some terms apply. Yeah, don't forget, if Claude doesn't make it through the next class, basically you just phone up 0800-THE-HITS and you take that subscription off a 15 year old. Yeah. Sleep easy, buddy. Sleep easy. Now we have a big celebrity guest joining us before 10 o'clock. Here's your next clue. Hey Jono, hey Ben, Jessie J and Leona Lewis were both

in my class at school. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on The Hits. Alright everybody, shut up and listen to today's School Ducks. Our last year subscription to DisneyPlus.com, and it could be all yours right now. She's had a blemish-free record in our educational facility.

She has. Hasn't she? 15-year-old Claudia from Invercargill, welcome back, your final class. Claude? Have we lost her? She's hung up. Claire.

Claude. Because I know she was like, oh, half an hour is a long time to be on the phone. Have we lost her? I think she's we lost her? She's hung up. Claire. Claude. Because I know she was like, oh, half an hour is a long time to be on the phone. Have we lost her? I think she's back. I hear something. Claude. Yes?

Don't do that to us. Where were you? No, we're... What? Look, mate, we're... Mate, we're on the radio, mate. Don't go off and leave us. We're very lonely people.

It's our Kelly's heel is silence on the radio. We don't know how to fill it I'll start saying offensive things and get fired Yeah, so please, please stay with us Alright, Claude This is the Ducks, you need to give a big speech You need to brag about how well you've done With a valedictorian speech

And your topic, without saying Um or ah for 30 seconds Is why New Zealand Is the best god goddamn country in the world. Go. Well, we have... Oh, no. She said um.

No. Well, we have... She said um, Ben. She said um. I can't do it. She said um. I can't do it. Stop the clock. Stop the clock, producer Juliet. I can't. She said um. She said, um, Ben. She said, um. I can't do it. She said, um. I can't do it. Stop the clock.

Stop the clock, producer Juliet. I can't. She said, um. She said, um. I reject. Did she say, um? And... What?

She's still going. She's still going. She said, um. No, this is a shambles. No. Juliet, you need to stop the clock. You know what you need to do. And we...

She's still going. She's pretending not to hear me Hey look We'll We'll Okay so you hold the Hold the line We're gonna

Okay put on hold We're gonna talk about this We'll come back And we'll decide Did she say um Do you think she said um We'll come back We'll talk about this

We'll come back We'll go back on the audio We'll go back on the audio We'll bring Claudia back And otherwise someone else Might win the It's been a protest Disney Plus subscription Gary I'll wait back on the audio. We'll go back on the audio. We'll bring Claudia back. And otherwise someone else might win the Disney Plus subscription. Gary, I'll wait 100 of the hits because you may be stealing a Disney Plus subscription off Claudia. She's done all the hard work. I know, Ben.

I didn't design the game. Oh, okay. All right. We'll come back next. We apologise in advance. It's Joddo and Ben on the hits. Oh, high tension stuff. Claudia, who is our star pupil and made it all the way through our four classes,

had to make a speech for 30 seconds on why New Zealand is the best goddamn country in the world. And I believe she wasn't allowed to. Well, we said she's not allowed to say um or ah for 30 seconds while making the speech. I believe she said um. Let's have a listen to the replay. Go. Well, we have... Oh, it's an um.

I think it's more of a... It's an um. It's a little... It's an um, Claudia. You're welcome back. Did you say um, Claudia? No, I like grunted when the phone hit my face. Oh, a phone grunting.

It's a grunting. Let's listen phone grunting. It's a grunting. Okay. Let's listen again if you think it's a grunting. Go. Well, we have... Oh, I can hear the pain of the phone hitting your face. But we're meant to go to the next caller. Oh, and the hits.

So let's make this super awkward. I think we have a referendum too. Was it a grunt or was it an um? We'll get that to Jacinda. Holly's phoned up on 0800 The Hits because that's how it works. Holly, you savage. You animal. You monster.

Wanting to steal a Disney Blast subscription off Claudia. Yeah, it's a harsh call actually listening back to that. What do you think? Um or grunt? I felt like she was just, yeah, grunt. But hey, I'm here for it. But hey, I want to steal it.

Are you taking it? Well, we'll see. We'll see how I do. No, you don't have to do it. You just phone up and take it. Okay. Do I not even have to do a speech? No.

Oh, no, I feel terrible now. You should. This is your moment to come through for Claudia. I actually already have a Disney Plus subscription. Not like I pay already, so give it back to Claudia. Oh, there we go. What a moment. Claudia, put Claudia back on.

Claudia. Conference them up. Holly, you tell Claudia. Claudia, it's all yours The Disney Plus description Thank you Change Change in love Change in love

Oh we got a nice Swim in the end Oh good on you Change Holly No worries Oh that's lovely Spreading a little love

She went from a monster To an angel in 30 seconds What a rollercoaster This has been The final I'm schooling I'm still saying It was an um But hey That was me You're saying it was an um, but hey,

that was me. You're saying it's a grunt. Yeah. It was clearly a phone hitting the face. It was a grunt. We've got the five second rule game

if you want to play that next. You can take home that board game thanks to Planet Fun. Hey, well done, Claude. You enjoyed the Disney Plus, eh? All right. What a wonderful outcome, eh?

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram Before we go We've got to give away our 5 second rule game Or hopefully if we play that now Let's head to fielding

Okay kids, it's time for the 5 second rule Take that out of your mouth Jono It's not that 5 second rule Sorry I was talking all over you The words out of my mouth were talking all over you I apologise Jono's on the phone from fielding. Five-second rule.

Okay, buddy, you can win this game. Take it away, Ben Boyce. Name three things you might cook on a barbecue. Sausages, steak, chop. Well done. He got there with plenty of time. Okay, your next one. Name three members of the royal family.

Harry, Meghan Markle and Kate. Oh, well done. Jeez, you sound manly you sound like you've swallowed a man you're so manly and finally three places

beginning with the letter P Paris Palmerston North and Porirua oh well done five second rule is all yours thank you so much

for listening thank you guys for playing the homeschool it really has been a lot of fun the last few days thank you to Disney Plus as well

we're having to shut down the homeschool burn the files as well. And what are you counting me down? Ben was counting me down. That's why I stopped. Now I need to go. Stay safe. Stay sanitised.

Good day. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from 6 on The Hits. And via the iHeartRadio app.