Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 05 - Lost & Found, Ben's Takeaway Facts, We Are Doing The World's Longest Zoom

Episode Date: May 5, 2020

New Zealand has no new cases of Covid-19Scrolling Through Your FeedBen's takeaway factsRude AwakeningControversial CalloutsSpyLost & FoundWe got prankedJono had four showers yesterdayWhat kid things are you still doing as an adult?Win An AdSpyAround The NationBen's father in law's voicemailWe are doing the world's longest Zoom!Are you listening from quarantine?Producer Juliet has set Jono and Ben up on OneDrive...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Tuesday morning, Jono and Ben with you. Number one on iHeartRadio. It's not yet. I've listened to all of these and it sounds bad when I say number one on iHeartRadio. Well, because I have to keep jumping and going, it's not, because otherwise everyone's like, is it? It's not. No, it's not.

What a chance, because I've delved deep in there. They're not even in the top 100. Anyway, it was a fun podcast for you today. We got Carol Baskin'd. Yeah, we did. We got pranked real bad. Do you know how she got stitched up by those YouTubers? Well, we feel for her.

I was like, oh, I felt a little bit like after it happened, I'm like, oh, I don't know if I can trust the people around here. Yeah, our new work colleagues pulled one over us. Pulled one over, yeah. So we've only known you guys before. Yeah, Producer Juliet. Also, Ben, you've got your hands on what I think is the greatest voicemail ever left by a boomer in history. Oh, it's so good.

It is good. I keep keeping it. Every couple of years I come back to this, I'm like, this is the best message ever. And I'm just going to chuck a little fact in here. You know when you get click baited and it's like 33 of the world's greatest facts yeah well there was 32 of them are pretty average but one of them was really interesting what was that it was oranges didn't used to be orange they used to be green oh really so when did they become oranges and did the name but okay well did the name become before the color or the color before

oh something to ponder. We'll be back tomorrow. All right, with the number one podcast. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. We can give ourselves a bit of a pat on the back, New Zealand. No new cases of COVID yesterday.

That's awesome. All right, let's get out there and party. No, no. Groups of over 100. Go loose. Go crazy. Start kissing each other. Just find a stranger in the street and pull their mask off and kiss them.

No, Ashley Bloomfield said yesterday. No kissing. Well, yeah, don't slacken off yet, okay? It's just one day. This is to do with the lockdown, not because of Level 3. I like slacking off with the masses. Don't slacken off yet because we want to get out of this faster. So don't slacken off.

Great work. We're not there yet. Jeez, I had a shocker of a start this morning. Set off the house alarm at 4 o'clock. I'll tell you what, I'll be dealing with that later on today. Did you just leave? Did you turn it off? I just left. Still going.

And then I got to work. Did you hear that van outside work yesterday? The alarm was going off all day yesterday. It's still going now. Some courier van. This is outside apartment blocks. Oh, my God. This was pre-recorded earlier, prepared earlier. It's like 24 hours now.

I know. What's the battery life on that alarm? So, a lot of alarm issues this morning for me. Well, we've got a big... A great start to the show. And more hot fire banter like that over the three hours. We've got a big show today. Apart from Jono's alarm chat,

we've got a chance for you guys to wake up someone in your household. Oh, 100 of the hits if you want to wake them up and they can win a $40 Hell Pizza voucher. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Scrolling through your feed. This is the stuff you might have missed overnight, stuff you're waking up to. That's if you don't believe in visiting the internet before listening to the radio. We try and sneak in there before you get on your phone. What do you do when you wake up? Are you straight on your phone bloody scrolling? Although your phone's

in five rooms away but you don't sleep next to it. Yeah, well I grab it and then take it through to the kitchen. Is it the first thing you do in the morning? Well I would read it, like I make a coffee and read my phone, yeah. I think a lot of people would read something on their phone when they first think. When do you go to the toilet? Do you go before that

or after that? I probably, yeah, sometimes I would go to the bathroom, yeah. I'm straight up and straight in there, eh? What, the bathroom?

Yeah, I'm leaky. Like three times a night I'm up and down. Like an apartment building in the Viaduct. Now we are looking at scrolling through your feed. Things you might have missed

because you've been asleep. And in America, a Colorado man said he won Powerball twice in one day. He bought tickets on his way into work from a 7-Eleven and he bought some more tickets later. He won $2 million on two draws. What a twat. Don't you hate hearing stories like this? How's that?

I buy a lotto every week. Wednesday, the Wednesday draw and the Saturday draw. And all I seem to keep getting are those crappy bonus tickets. Do you get those? Oh, no. I don't replay. Every time you win a bonus ticket. And I've got a theory that it's to get you back into the store to buy another ticket.

That's my theory. So you would buy more maybe if you had a bonus ticket? No, well, it's like, oh, you've got another couple of lines. That's all you win. And then so you're back in the dairy and you're buying another. Hey, that's just my, that's my

conspiracy theory. Remember we did that thing for Lotto and we got hypnotised. So they hypnotised us, producer Juliette. Yes. And it was like, what would you do if you'd won Lotto? I look like such a bad person, but anyway, carry on. I was like, oh, you know, I'd share it with Ben. But the thing was, I don't think

I was hypnotised, but I was pretending to be hypnotised. I said I'd give Jono a box of beers and afterwards I looked really bad. It was like Jono said he'd share his millions of dollars. Maybe you weren't hypnotised. That's my get out of jail freak out on.

As well as that, you're waking up this morning to very interesting news. You found this one. Yeah, DJ Khaled. Khaled? DJ Khaled. You know him from shouting his own name over songs. DJ Khaled. DJ Khaled. DJ Khaled. He loves a DJ Khaled.

And what's it? We the best music, which grammatically is horrific. But he did this song with Bieber. That was a hit of a song. Hell of a jam. Yeah, so he's hosting, DJ Khaled, he's hosting an Instagram Live yesterday and out of nowhere pops up this bikini-clad babe and she just starts twerking.

And he's like, no, no, no, no, I'm a married man. Good, good. Have a listen to it. Oh, ****. No, no, don't do that. No, no, no, I got love. This is a fan love session. No, no, no, I got love. This is a fan love session. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Talk to me normal. Talk to me normal. No, I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. So he's like, no, no, no, stop, stop. I'm a married man.

I'm a family man. And she's just twerking. Get that off the hits. You're just seeing butt cheeks on the cover in the screen. But my thing is, if you're a family man, you're a married man, you keep saying it. Just end the phone call. End the Instagram live thing. Yeah, you kept it going for quite a while, didn't you? Yeah thing is, if you're a family man, you're a married man, you keep saying it, just end the phone call. End the Instagram live thing.

Yeah, you kept it going for quite a while, didn't you? Yeah, you see, you keep going. Oh. No, no, no, I got love. This is fair enough. No? No, no, no, no, no.

Talk to me normal. Talk to me normal. Talk to me normal, but I'll keep looking. It went on for two minutes. I don't know if his wife came and he's like, I told her I was a family man.

Well, she's now got no clothes on. So that's what you're waking up to this morning. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's been a week since we've been allowed takeaways and on the first, basically the first week of, 24 hours of takeaways, sorry, New Zealand ate five weeks worth of takeaways,

what we normally would buy over five weeks in the first 24 hours. I'm happy for that up-and-coming business McDonald's that they're finally getting a break. It's the big news. Small town. Today we're looking at some big news out of South Canterbury, although I feel like it could be big news out of anywhere in New Zealand at the moment because the headline reads,

liquor sales go up. Oh, really? Through the busy period basically. Through lockdown, liquor sales have gone up. I was thinking beyond this, like the government's forking out a lot of cash, you know, to help struggling people at the moment, but soon they're going to have to fork out for liver transplants

I think, aren't they? Yeah. We have to clear the hospitals for COVID. We have to clear the hospitals for liver transplants after this. I'd take your liver. Would you take mine? Well, how many options do I have? Just me.

Okay. Here's a hypothetical. It's pretty well used. One used liver. Yeah. Near new condition. Well, not near new. No, not near new at all.

It's near new. So you wouldn't take mine. If I said, hey, bro, I'm dying. I need you't take my, if I said, hey bro, I'm dying, I need you to take my liver, I don't know why that would be a situation. Yeah, where am I taking it? You wouldn't, into your body. Like if I was dying,

would you give me your liver? Would you swap? Is it one of those things I can function with? Like am I okay? You'll be right. You might end in a couple of years. Right. But you'd be all right.

Yeah, all right. To look like a good person on the radio, I'll say yes. He wouldn't do it in real life, though. Grant Kiriyama did that for Jonah Lomu. I know, what an amazing thing. He did with the kidneys. What an amazing thing he did.

Yeah, but you wouldn't do it for me. I said I would. On the radio. Yeah, on the radio. Anyway, we're going to head through to Timaru. We're drinking. Rampant drinking problem in Timaru. I don't know if that's the case.

It's good. The liquor stores are back open again I think they're doing click and collect and delivery around the country Good morning Henry, it's Hi-Fair Kelly speaking Oh you're sober enough to answer the phone Oh well that's debatable It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits Radio Station How's it going?

Good and yourself? We're good We're just reading about the liquor sales back up Yes Yeah I bet you know because you're working in a liquor store Exactly Are you shipping them out by back up? Yes. Yeah, I bet you not because you're working in a liquor store. Exactly. Are you shipping them out by the dozen?

Yes, we are. People rolling around on the ground outside? Not quite, but yeah. I heard the whole Main Street is covered in vomit. Is it? Oh, how dare it?

It's disgusting. What's the most popular thing on the books? Hold on. I'll just pull them up there. The most popular thing on the books? What, in I'll just pull them up there. The most popular thing on the books. What, in her accounting books?

Yeah, I was like, where's this going? Are you the Inland Revenue auditing her? Yeah, exactly. I was trying to sound like I knew what I was talking about. Did it work?

Yeah, sort of. Yeah, good. Very good. What are you selling most of on the shelves? Book shelves. I see where you're going. Probably R2D2s and Spirits you're going. Probably RTDs and spirits.

Oh, RTDs and spirits, like Woodstock bourbons and things like that? Yes, yeah, yep. Yeah, and what's your tip hole of choice? Depends on the day. I couldn't trust myself to work in a liquor shop. Do you own it or are you just working there? I just work in here. Yeah, right.

Do you get like staff discounts? Oh, yeah. I had a friend actually, he owned one in the Coromandel, but he employed an alcoholic. Oh, no. So he would get phone calls and texts from the customers going,

hey, just so you know, Lenny's passed out on the counter again. And there was an honesty system, like people would just leave their money on the... Oh, that's nice. I am in the Coromandel though. Yeah, but you're not doing that at Henry's in Timaru, are you?

No, definitely not, no. No, not if the boss is listening. So are people clicking and collecting, that sort of thing? Yes, they are, yep. So we went live the other day on Henry's website. So, yeah, that's all up and running, so it's all good. A new normal now, isn't it? It is, basically, yeah.

Everything's all online now these days, yeah. Good on you for adapting, eh? Well, you look after yourself. Keep safe and keep Timaru drunk. Yeah, everything's all online now these days, yeah. Good on you for adapting, eh? Well, you look after yourself. Keep safe and keep Temaru drunk. Yeah, will do. Thanks very much. Is that what you say? I don't know.

I don't know. Not really, but yeah. Have a good one. Thank you. Thanks. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Of course, no new cases of COVID for the first time in six weeks yesterday, which is awesome stuff, New Zealand. But don't slacken off, as Dr Ashley Bloomfield says. What's that? Oh, no. Shut up. Now what? Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening.

We are up early in the morning and we want other people to be up as well. So that's why we do this segment designed to wake people up and give them a chance to win big. Yeah, slowly we're waking every New Zealander up and slowly they're turning on us, one by one. Joining us from Auckland, Carl, welcome to the show, buddy. Hello. How's Auckland this morning? Looking good, buddy? Good overcast, cloudy.

How many times can I say buddy? Yeah, I reckon. I'm not a buddy guy as well, but I say it. You said champ the other day, and I was like champ. Champ's so condescending, isn't it? Carl, I reckon. I'm not a buddy guy as well, but I say it. You said champ the other day, and I was like, champ? Champ's so condescending, isn't it? It's so condescending. Carl, I apologise for calling you buddy. Even though you're a good friend of ours, you're a friend of the show,

and we'll be with you forever, Carl. Looking through your windows while you sleep. Who are we waking up this morning? I'll be waking up my sister, Tara. Tara, okay. So what we're going to do is we're going to ask Tara four questions. Each question's worth $10 worth of hell pizza. She gets all four right.

That's 40 if you're doing the maths at this time of morning. And Carl, what do you do? I'm a truck driver for a drainage company. Did you continue to work through the lockdown? We did indeed, yes, for emergency. What? Oh, hello. Hello.

Is Tara there, please? Tara, she's just not available right now. Oh, okay. Andrew, Andrew, Andrew. Just Andrew. Andrew. He will do. Andrew, there, please? She's not available right now. Oh, okay. Andrew, Andrew, Andrew. Just Andrew. Andrew. He will do. Andrew.

Andrew, he'll do. Andrew will do. Andrew, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits. Welcome to The Rude Awakening. A little bit of a grunt there. Okay. Kick the music off, you just Juliet. Four questions coming down the phone at you in an obnoxious fashion.

Each worth $10 of hell pizza. Are you ready, Andrew? Hello? Hey, how's it going? Good, good. How are you? All we got from Andrew was a grunt and then passed the phone over to you. So you're in the middle of a quiz show. Okay, all right then.

It's a lot to digest at this time of morning. We're Jono and Ben. We're on the hits, and here's your first question. Judge Judy Shineland hosted watch show. Watch show? Half which, half what? Rudy Judy, Courty Judy, or Judge Judy? Judge Judy. There we go.

There's $10 worth of hell pizza. Nicki Minaj is an acrophobic, meaning she is afraid of what? A, pants that cover all of her private parts, B, heights, or C, afraid of acrobatics? Heights. Well done. Hype. Well done. I know. $20 from Hell Pizza. Here's your next question.

Grant Robertson. There we go. How much did you chuckle when you came up with Grant, your 10 wishes, John? I had a little smile on my big bald face. And did I put a little smile on your little face there, Tara? A little bit of wee bit. Not really, not really.

Cheeky smirk on yours, Carl. Oh, yeah. Yeah, a little bit of a smirk. Ben, a little bit of a smirk. Okay, okay. Timaru is in which island? Celebrity Treasure Island, Heartbreak Island or the South Island? South Island.

Some would say these are too easy. Well, Liz, first thing in the morning, well done. You've got yourself $40 from Hell Pizza. Cool. Low-hanging fruit. Sounds like you've got a bit of explaining to do to Andrew. I don't know if he's fully awake with us, but you can thank your brother Carl for this, Tara.

Oh, thank you. All right. Okay, and this has been awkward. And you go and have a great day. Thanks so much. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook.

Producer Juliette, you've got a great fact about post at the moment. Yeah, so my friend's mum works for New Zealand Post. She said that on Tuesday after lockdown was lifted, over 500,000 tracked parcels were processed through the system. And those are just the tracked ones, and they're probably all the ones that were kept on hold and not deemed essential. So imagine all of them, including the non-tracked ones.

Like, that's insane. New Zealand Post is back, baby! We're back! All these... My wife just orders so much stuff off the internet and just packages. Every time I drive home There's a package on the lawn

I'm like what are you buying I don't even know What she's buying Oh during the Yeah Oh we need it It's essential items I never see what

The essential items are But they come out As wonderful new tops And pants They're essential items They're fabulous Pineapple on pizza Awesome

The French TV show They're overrated. I don't really like chocolate. Controversial call-outs. This is a segment that we do early in the morning because sometimes saying this sort of stuff on the radio could get us in trouble. Yeah, so Ben offers his controversial opinion on something

and I offer mine. And the first to get someone to phone up and agree with them on 0800 The Hits, they win the game so it's 0800 0800 448 oh my gosh you paid that the numbers upside down on the thing 0800 for us it's great 0800 843 4487 is the phone number or you can write in 0800 the hits now i think you should we should mix up who goes first because I think the person going first has an advantage in this game. Well, you went first yesterday and your opinion was?

What was my opinion? Oh, birthday cards. That's right. Yesterday's opinion was about birthday cards. Waste of money. Don't give me a card. I'd rather have five bucks. Yeah, and you've got a lot of people agreeing with you there.

They do. Okay, so here's my opinion. And I don't know how popular this will be. Kids don't need to go to school we can save a lot of money by not sending children to school what are you going to do with the kids there's youtube there's grammarly there's google the world's greatest teachers they just anything they want to know they just do it on that well someone's saying yes they're watching a youtube video or something on, you just put the caption thing on there and then they're reading.

I was like, that's quite genius. Exactly. I'm not saying fire teachers. Teachers can still be like, all right, kids, go and Google about West African rhinos today.

Come back to me at four o'clock. I'll just sit in my bed eating Doritos. So they still get paid, don't I? I'm not trying to say. So where do the kids go in this? Who's looking after the kids?

You haven't thought this through. But anyway, this is why it's controversial. They're sitting at home. Well, they're at home. Yeah, but who's looking after them, I hear you say? Yeah. Yeah, they look after themselves. They grow up quicker.

They Google it, all right. School of hard knocks. Why am I helping you out? Anyway, under the hits, if you agree with Jono, it's the first person to get someone to agree with him. Yeah, that's, and just think of the billions of dollars in education we'll save. Billions.

You're leaving kids, you're leaving eight-year-olds at home. Anyway. Turn the schools into fun parks, amusement parks. Oh, God. It's a winning idea. All right, well, I'm just going to say

the Tiger King, I know about it. You know, I enjoy the memes. I enjoy all that. I enjoy listening to Carole Baskin on TikTok, the song and everything. Killed her husband. Whacked him.

But as a show, I didn't, I was like, I watched two episodes and I was like, that's enough. I didn't need to watch the whole thing.

You monster. I wasn't really that into the show. I was like, yeah, it was curious, but I didn't need to watch seven episodes. So when did you stop?

Episode two. And I'm like, I've said enough. I have no interest in watching the rest. So you're saying you don't like the Tiger King? Yeah.

Get out. I'd say it. I've said some stupid stuff. I just said kids shouldn't go to school. But that is worse than anything I've ever said. As I say, I enjoy the memes. I know enough about it now to get involved and have banter with everyone. I'm like, oh, Carol Baskin. Oh, Joe Exotic is here. Crazy. I don't need to watch it.

I have no interest in watching the rest of it. But you never finish anything. You didn't finish that other one, The Making a Murderer with Stephen Avery. No, yeah, exactly. You didn't even finish Breaking the... You don't finish anything. Finish something in your life for once, mate.

I'll try. I'll finish up here on the radio. Hopefully you're going to finish your marriage properly. I don't know what that means. Oh, right, okay. Not head to divorce court. And we've got the phones going. Rose is with us from Otrohonga

Rose, do you agree with Ben's Controversial call out of hating the Tiger King Or my controversial call out of Not sending children to school Yeah, no, I agree with you What, me? Don't send them to school What are you going to do, Rose?

What? Well, I wouldn't If I had kids, my kids are all growing, I wouldn't send them back to school for some time yet. No, exactly, they can just push a button on the phone and be like, tell me about soda, and you'll get a full, you just, you can't find a better teacher, that's my argument. And you think about how much the government is pouring into education. Do we need them educated?

Stop talking. Stop talking. Kids are too smart these days anyway. Stop talking right now. Just dumb down Aotearoa. I'm going to wrap this up right now. Then we'll be back again tomorrow, same time, with more controversial comments.

Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Spy. No what's up. Spy.co.nz With producer Juliette who's been deep diving into the underpants of celebrity stardom. Exactly.

Now, Taika Waititi, it was announced on May the 4th might I add, that he is going to be directing a new Star Wars film. So he had already directed the season finale of the Star Wars streaming spin-off called The Mandalorian

so he has been chosen to direct it with her name is Christy Wilson-Kens who was nominated for an Oscar for 1917

I don't care about Christy Wilson-Kens I don't care because she's not Taika Waititi who's a New Zealander That's so cool eh that's amazing

is there any more he can do? I don't know. This is greater than the day then when Temuera Morrison was in Star Wars. That's right. He got cloned. He got cloned. But he didn't put on an American accent or anything. So he was just claimed to be the first Maori in space.

Yeah, it was awesome. New Zealanders are just taking over the Star Wars franchise. I love it. I remember once where we met Tiger White TT and he stuck his lightsaber into my exhaust pipe. What? Of the car. He used to have a very flash old Kingswood and

he took a photo of it and sent it to you. He sent it to me and I was like, oh well, I've got a goat photo on you, mate. Now look at Mr. Big Hollywood. I'm going to bring him down. I'm going to send it to TMZ or something. Look what he did to my car. Never reimbursed me. Clogged the thing up. Bad man. Bad man.

And Carol Baskin killed her husband. She has been so hard to get hold of for an interview. So many news sites have been trying to get hold of her to talk about the Tiger King and she has refused.

But then two YouTubers decided to try and prank her into an interview posing as Jimmy Fallon. And they essentially got her on Zoom, had her filming, and they didn't have Jimmy's face up because they said, you know, he's got cameras on him already so you won't be able to see him. And then behind the scenes they had lots of little audio soundbites of different questions from Jimmy. And they were lucky because Jimmy had already,

you know, he's interviewed the cast of Cats. He's talked about Cats on his show. A lot of Cat content. Yeah, and here's a little bit. I mean, when does anybody ever get to see a cat? After COVID-19, I just don't know if we're ever going to be able to do tours again. Okay, that's amazing. So

they just played random... So this was like about three or four weeks in the making, back and forth. I watched the video. There's a fine line between pranking and fraud. I know. My wife's like, I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for her as well. I didn't feel sorry for her. She just sat in a Zoom interview for 10 minutes.

Oh, no, but she got... Anyway, maybe I'm getting soft, but I... Back in the day, feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for her as well. I didn't feel sorry for her. She just sat in a Zoom interview for 10 minutes. Maybe I'm getting soft. Back in the day, mate, you would have done that and then you would have pulled down her pants. As a prank. She has actually come back and said that after she found out it was a prank, she said, it gave us a very welcome

good laugh. I was suspicious as we were doing it because the questions appeared taped but had no idea it would turn out to be such a fun prank. I appreciate their cleverness and they created the video in a nice way. They weren't, you know, taking the mickey out of her or anything, you know. That's good. Good on her. She was happy with it.

Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben's Lost and Found. We have got something that we've found in the office just sitting around and we thought we'd give it away on the radio Yeah, some would call it workplace theft And others would say Definitely stealing So there's no other option

It is the Sony soundbar And it's the only bar you're going to get into now Given lockdown But you can win it right now It's worth nearly $1,000. You've got to answer five questions in a row, and it's all yours. Sent to Timaru. Chris,

you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, buddy. There you go, mate. This sounds legit. What, the show? The show or the prize? The prize or both. Am I going to get done for receiving? Listen, if the police come knocking, we never spoke. Okay, Chris?

Gotcha. Okay, five questions in a row, buddy. Here we go. Question number one. Do you want to ask some questions today, Ben? Oh, there you go. You're a good quiz master. Axl Rose is a member of which rock band?

Guns N' Roses. One from one for Chris, the rubbish truck driver in Temaru. Question number two. Martin Lawrence acted alongside who in the Bad Boys film franchise? Martin Lawrence. Will Smith. There we go.

Just got there before the three-second timer. Okay, next question. Fun House was the 2008 album from which artist? The album called... Pink. Oh, my God. Oh, jeez, he's two away. He drives rubbish trucks

and he's driving a hole through these questions. Which actor voices Olaf in Disney's Frozen? Which actor? You've got me, Parsh. It was Josh Gad. You did so well, Chris. I'm proud of you, mate. Your family's proud of you and Aotearoa is proud of you.

Teenage Daughters got me through a couple there. You look after yourself, Chris. Thank you so much for listening to the show, buddy. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, of course, Tiger King is the documentary on Netflix that the whole world had been talking about. Yeah, and everyone's been

trying to, we spoke to Rob Lowe. Jeff Lowe. I call him Rob Lowe all of the time. Jeff Lowe from the documentary, but no one has been able to get hold of Carole Baskin. Yeah. And people talk shows from all over the world, radio shows, desperate radio shows like us

have been harassing her. She hasn't spoken to anyone, but these two YouTubers spent weeks convincing her that Jimmy Fallon, the talk show host, wanted to talk to her. And all they did was basically get audio sound bites

of Jimmy Fallon, play them down Zoom, and that was the interview. I mean, wow. When does anybody ever get to see a cat? After COVID-19, I just don't know if we're ever going to be able

to do tours again. Okay, that's amazing. We've got champagne pranking there. Champagne pranking. Just using bits of audio that Jimmy Fallon had said on previous interviews. You felt sorry for her? I did feel a bit sorry for her. You know, like...

You have changed. Remember the days you'd wake me up at 3 o'clock in the morning and smash my head? I'd do that to you any day of the week. And in fact... Oh, but not Carole Baskin. Not the lady who's accused of feeding a man to a tiger. We don't know that. She seems lovely. I didn't watch all of it.

Clearly I didn't watch enough of the Tiger King. I said I checked out after two episodes. Anyway, it wasn't just Carole Baskin who got pranked yesterday. We got Baskined. We did. We got Baskinised. By our producers, the people we trust the most. Yeah.

And this is just as newsworthy. Two low-level New Zealand radio hosts getting pranked. Pranked into thinking that we were talking to Ashley Bloomfield, the medical general practice guy. The guy who does the stuff. You know the guy? The medical. Yeah, the doctor.

Dr. Ashton Bloomfield. You know, he's basically in the news every day. For weeks we've been wanting to talk to him and we're like, hey guys, we'd love to talk to him because obviously he feels like he's just appeared out of nowhere but obviously he has a very distinguished medical career and we'd love to talk to him about the work he's doing at the moment.

Yeah, so for the same amount of time our producers have been out three weeks trying to get hold of Ashley Bloomfield. And yesterday, we thought we had an interview with Dr. Ashley Bloomfield. So a calendar invite was sent out. I went home and I came back for this interview. You did? After 12.

Joining us on the phone right now, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, thank you very much for your time. Good morning, it's a pleasure. Do you have time during the day to make these phone calls? Are you in between meetings at the moment? It's quite busy, as you would imagine, working with the Prime Minister, and we have 201 active cases.

None of those are in intensive care. So I was thinking, oh, this is definitely him. Seems like a little bit of a dry balls, but this is definitely him. It sounds like the guy. Yeah, he's not up for like, you know, like gag banter. He's, you know, he's doing a serious job. I'm doing a great job. And in our defence,

why would we think it would be anyone else apart from Ashley Bloomfield? But then the interview, it took a bit of a dog leg. A strange turn, yeah. Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, I know you probably won't really want to talk about this, but you've become a bit of a national icon, bit of the face. Sex symbol.

Well, yeah, you're on a fashion label I saw over the weekend. How do you sort of take that in your stride? Well, I think it's a little bit embarrassing, of course. I'm nowhere near as good looking or as sexy as you, Jono. But clearly, Ben, I'm a fair way ahead of you. I think you've got us mixed up. I'm usually the Argo one. Oh, yeah, he's the hot one.

I'm not sure that anyone in New Zealand understands which one is which anyway. We aren't so true. To be honest, I don't know. Have you got a vaccine for these savage roastings I'm currently getting? Well, talking roastings, I'm led to believe through officials

through the District Health Board that your production team, Ben, Heidi and Juliet, I understand you have been giving them a bit of shit. Oh. What? Sorry? Is this Oh. What? Sorry? Is this legit? What?

Well, on behalf of the Prime Minister, I would just like to say that that is f***. Guys, this is actually one of your old managers. The manager who used to work here? Who? I'm so confused. What? Hold on. The manager who used to work here? I was... Who? I'm so confused. What? Hold on.

Have you got someone impersonating Ashley Bloomfield? Maybe. I don't think Ashley swears that much, does he? Dean Buchanan. I'm so confused. This is... I'm like... You could have picked my voice in my life.

So there was an old manager here, Dean. Well done. Well done, guys. A lot of questions. The first one being why. Yeah. Why? I was driving home.

Why did they do that to us? I felt. So you'll be glad to know that all of our producers have been fired. Last night I burned down all of their houses. And Ben, you... It was a prank. It was a fun prank. It was a prank? You slashed all their car tires? Yeah, it was a fun prank.

Yeah, it was a fun prank. Thanks, guys. That's how we got Baskin. This is how we're going to start, is it, guys? Because this is how we're going to start. We know where it's going to go. I know. So, yeah, sympathies with Carol Baskin. Know exactly how you feel.

Now do you feel sorry for her? Yeah, I do now. I do now. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We both had eventful days yesterday in different ways. Yeah, I had to go home after the show yesterday. My son, he had a Zoom interview for his, he's applying for a college. Did a very good job.

I felt like, you know, when you're being interviewed by a teacher, you never feel like an adult, do you? No. You always feel like you're about to be told off. But anyway, he did very well. I was so proud of him. But when I go home,

I've got this whole thing where I was like, I've got to take my clothes off. I've got to burn them from any of the COVID that may have stuck to them. You can't be too careful at the moment, you know, right?

No, no. So you've got to go, yeah. Yeah, it's like entering Parerimo prison at my house at the moment. So I, right? So you've got to go, yeah. Yeah, it's like entering Pariririmu prison at my house at the moment. So I get home, take clothes off, and I have a shower. But then I came back to work in new clothes, which meant that when I got home again, I'd have another shower. So then by the time I'd done this, three showers,

because I'd had one and I woke up in the... This is why there's a water shortage in Auckland, you. The dams are at record lows. It's boring on a crisis. Oh, maybe you've seen all the rain last night. We're all good. Did you hear it all? No, that's what they said over the weekend.

It hasn't sold back up. The last 24 hours, the crisis is over. No, it's not. Would it make you feel better if I said I drank, made my family drink the shower water? Well, yeah. I made them drink the soapy, eerie water. No, but you do have to be careful, though, in all seriousness.

So, you know. Not about the water. You know, just about the COVIDy, eerie water. No, but you do have to be careful, though, in all seriousness. So, you know. Not about the water, you know, just about, you know, the COVID. Oh, the COVID thing, absolutely. But then, so then at night I had another one too. Okay. Making four showers. Well, you shouldn't have had that one. I wasn't allowed that one.

Well, no. Not if you hadn't been anywhere. But I was like sweaty. I was feeling sweaty. Well, I hope they were short showers. Yeah, they were all, yeah they were all yeah and like I said we drank the water as well oh good

consuming water my water related story yesterday which was quite weird I was at home after work and our neighbours next door

they're renovating so they haven't been there for a long time and I just saw someone walk past and I was like in their property and I was like

oh this is unusual that didn't look like the neighbour just from the fence and then I heard a splash because they've got a pool I was like oh okay their property. And I was like, oh, this is unusual. That didn't look like the neighbour just from the fence. And then I heard a splash because they've got a pool. I was like, oh, okay. So I popped my head over and go, you all right there, mate?

You know, just over there. You're always trying to sound a little bit. And is that like a threatening tone? You're always trying to sound a little bit more like. As if like, I can do something, buddy. You're all right there, mate. You know, like normally I'd be like, hi, guy. Hi. But I was like, yeah, you're all right there, mate.

Yeah, and the guy for some reason just went, yeah, I'm nude. And that's how he started. Hey, could you even see him? No. So he didn't have to offer up that information. No, but then I sort of went, what?

And I sort of popped my head over the bed. Well, that makes you more intrigued. It did. So I was like, what? And he was like, oh, hey, I'm a friend of the neighbours.

He said if I'm ever going for a run and I'll go past just to jump in the pool. What, nude? Yeah, what? Did he say you can just? Yeah, well, I don't know. Did he say you can just hop in completely closed? I don't know why he started with, oh, yeah, I'm nude. But anyway, he was in the pool.

Yeah, just popping in and away he went. I suppose you want a front footer, don't you? Because, like, if you're coming over the fence, he wants to go, hey, just so you know, what you're about to see might surprise you. And it did surprise me. Oh, there we go. Some fun water stories from yesterday. So maybe on your way home you can go past my neighbour's house and just hop in.

Save water. Yeah. Thank you very much. I felt like yesterday I spent three quarters of the day like a fish underwater. And I rubbed off so much skin with toweling. Imagine this thing naked, mate. Okay. Imagine this big white walrus.

Please, you give me that same warning. Okay. I'm nude if ever you're nude and I'm coming into a room, all right? Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. We've been talking a lot about TikTok, mainly because my kids are into it. They walk around like they just do dances.

Even when it's not playing, it's like they've got, you know. Yeah, everyone looks a little possessed, don't they? They just break out into random dance. Maybe that's where the tick comes from in TikTok, you know, because they just sort of start, you know, you'll be sitting there at the thing and they'll just be like, just doing a thing with no music and just doing a little bit of a dance.

You're like, all right, no, TikTok, get the table. But then I'm double standards because now I'm on TikTok. Oh, yeah, they got their claws into you. They got their ticky little claws in. So Ben's account's sitting at 16,000. Yeah, which I was happy with, but you, for some reason, decided I need to get it at 100,000.

Yeah, well, I want to make your TikTok famous. I'm not, I'm not. A TikToker. And the clock is TikTok-ing until next Monday when, if he hasn't reached 100,000 followers, that's another, what, 84,000 that we need to get. Numbers are declining for some reason, looking at the insights on the account.

You can see the bleak content that I put up there. What have you done? Have you done any video? Have you done any content lately, mate? I did one over the weekend. What was it? It was quite fun, where you basically put an outfit on the bed and then you lie back into it, and then you basically end up in that outfit. And I did it around the wrong way, but I love, people

are kind of helpful in the comments, but also at the same time, a little bit, listen to this comment. Great try, Ben. If you stabilise the phone, improve the lighting, and better the transition, your TikTok will reach another level. Oh, thanks, Taika Waititi.

No, but fair enough. It's probably right. All those things I did wrong. The lighting was off. The lighting was off. I didn't hit the phone. So next time, yeah. There were script problems from the get-go. Yeah, exactly.

So what children's activities are you actively participating in as an adult? Kidults, you can call us right now on 0800 THE HITS. Let's head to the Naki Taranaki. Jonathan's on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, J-Dog. Morning, guys. Hey, I'm only calling you

because my wife's already at work and my daughter's in the next room watching Paw Patrol. A couple of years ago, we bought a nightlight for our hallway for our daughter just so that if she got up in the night, she could find her way to us and all that kind of thing. It's a nice

pink nightlight. But the truth is, it was my idea because actually It's a nice pink nightlight. But the truth is it was my idea because actually I sleep better with a nightlight. Oh, look at your little sweetheart. It just makes me feel safe. Oh, yeah. Jonathan, and this is a safe place. Yeah, exactly.

We're here, we're all safe. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just pink and, yeah, it comes on, like if you walk in the hallway, it comes on. Oh, it sounds lovely. It sounds lovely. A bit comforting.

Just to know that everything's okay. That's what you want, right? I love the front that it was for your daughter now. Yeah, well, they don't know that, so hopefully my wife's not listening or anything. Let's be honest, she's probably not. Thank you very much, Jonathan. Appreciate your call. Vanessa, welcome. You're on the air. Hey, anything. Let's be honest, she's probably not. Thank you very much, Jonathan. Appreciate your call.

Vanessa, welcome. You're on the air. Hey, guys. How's it going? Yeah, we're well. You're a kiddo. What are you doing? So I just finished my morning Coco Pops. Drank some milk out of the bowl at the end. And they say just like a chocolate milkshake only? Yeah, crunchy. Yeah.

Yeah, crunchy. Yeah, I put tomato sauce on everything. Mac and cheese even, which I know is controversial. Oh, no. She's got the taste buds of a four-year-old. But even when you go to a kid's party, I mean, when there's those Cheerios that once the kids have got their slobbery, filthy hands all over them, you always dip in, don't you? Yeah, I mean, you don't want any of those flavours.

Once they're ice cold, hey, good on you, Vanessa, with your little kid pellet. Love it. And we'll end on that. That all could fade out. I tried Froot Loops for the first time in many years the other day, and I'm like, damn, these are great. I could feel my teeth

rotting away as I was eating, but I was loving it. I could just keep eating in this whole box. So what good things are you doing? You can keep them coming through on the text machine. Of course, you can text us at any time, 4487 as well, and I'll see how my TikTok account gets before next Monday. Wake up and smell them.

Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Of course, no new COVID cases yesterday, but Jacinda's saying, just reading, don't read too much into zero cases. Don't read too much, because that's all come from the lockdown. It hasn't come from the transition into level three.

Oh, they're always like, hey, just be careful, aren't they? I know. Go and lick some door handles or something. That's not what they do. Go and throw your hand sanitiser away. It's all safe to party. I see she's going to be part of the Australian Cabinet meeting today, marking the first time ever a New. I see she's going to be part of the Australian Cabinet meeting today,

marking the first time ever a New Zealand Prime Minister has been invited to be part of the Australian Cabinet. They're starting to claim her as well, aren't they? I would too if I was them. Don't tell the sales department because Ed's Jono and Ben's winning ad. This is where we recklessly give away free advertising airtime on the station.

And we've felt no repercussions so far because there's no one in the building to tell us off. So we're just going to keep doing this until someone with a pinstripe suit comes down here and says no more. No, no, no. So what we do is we just call a business at random and then we say we've written half the ad. You've just got to fill in the blanks. Yeah, and they awkwardly do. They awkwardly do. We're heading through to Gisborne right now.

Posty Plus. Good morning, Post through to Gisborne right now. Posty Plus. Good morning, Posty Gisborne. Tanya speaking. Gizzy, Gizzy, Gizzy. Oi, oi, oi. Gizzy, Gizzy, Gizzy. Oi, oi, oi. Gizzy.

Oi. Oh, sorry, that's more for Tanya. Hey, Tanya, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. How are you? Oh, mate, we're doing well. You've won an ad. Fill in the blanks, babes.

Have you heard about one of the Kiwi businesses? It's the... Ben. Hmm? Jono and Ben. Hey, even when you whisper, we can still hear you

through that. So we've written half the ad, you've just got to fill in the blanks. Okay. Have a listen. Have you heard about

one of the Kiwi businesses? It's the... Posty Plus. Famous for its popular... Cheap brands. You sound very whispery and suspicious right now. And don't forget the crowd favourite. I don't know.

There's no crowd favourites when you've led with cheap clothing. Where do you go from there? Affordable for anyone and everyone. What about Ben Boyce, who is a fully grown man, but he has a very tiny, tiny little boy-sized body? Do you have clothing for him? We definitely do. And who could forget that catchy slogan?

We do indeed. Is that the slogan? Postie is the place to go. Postie is the place to go. Posty is the place to go. And finally... And their wonderful staff, who sometimes like to reveal a secret about themselves live on the radio.

This is when we delve deep, Tanya. Tanya, you got anything for us? Where's that dirty laundry? Go and grab it and air it. Dirty laundry. No dirty laundry at Posty Plus? and air it. Dirty laundry. No dirty laundry at Posty Plus. I used to be the bend-on lady in town.

I used to fit a lot of lingerie. Oh, you look at him. So you would know intimately everyone in Gisborne's genitals, wouldn't you? Oh, jeez. Basically, yes. Basically. She can name everyone purely by looking at their mid-region.

So make sure you check out... Posty Plus Gisborne. Yeah. Hey, Tanya, you check out Posty Plus Gisborne. Yeah. Hey, Tanya, you are a great person, great human being. Oh, nice. I always like the Posty Plus catalogue.

Everyone looks so happy in it, don't they? Because we are. Yeah. I mean, you're not going to release a catalogue of depressed looking models.

No, you wouldn't. No. Did we get rid of them smiling? Oh, yeah, we did, but we thought we'd go with those others. They're having an off day.

Yeah, well, you keep safe, Tanya. Lovely to talk to you. Thank you. You too. Good on you, Tanya. I'm going to release a catalogue of depressed-looking models. It's fashion. Sometimes they don't look that happy anyway.

They do. They look starving and emaciated. They have a smile, mate. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz

Producer Juliette joining us with some Spy and Salmon news. Hello. So Harry and Meghan are releasing a biography. It's called Finding Freedom. Harry and Meghan

in the Making of a Modern Royal Family. What a load of shh. Ain't I right? Why is this firing you up all of a sudden? I don't even know who Louis was the other day. You're like, who's Louis? And now you're like, oh, how dare they? I feel like I just need to be a royalist on this show.

Speaking of that family, it was Princess Charlotte's birthday the other day and they released really cute photos of them. Which one's she? She's the middle child. Of? Kate and Will. And she's adorable.

You need to go to look at the photos, Johnna. Anyway. I'm sure she's adorable. You need to go look at the photos, Jono. I'm sure she's adorable. How's Louis? Louis is bloody. He's the one that's going to be struggling through life, isn't he? Yeah, he's got less responsibility. That's probably the one you want to be, right? Yes.

Yeah, but then they end up running away with some wayward American actress divorcing from the whanau. Exactly. And on that, so the biography, it's going to be written by royal reporters, but Harry and Meghan are working with them. And it's basically,

the aim of it is to portray the real Harry and Meghan and it'll detail unknown information about their life together and basically just dispel all the rumors. That's the goal.

But I think I'm like, wow, you're making money off the fact you left the royal family. And then you don't want to be part of the royal family. Yeah, you're making money off the fact you left the royal family. And then you don't want to be part of the royal family. But now you're trying to cash in on the royal family. To be honest, the thing I'm most upset about is how she made Mike leave on Suits. Because they were married on the character.

And then he ended up going, he was one of the main characters. And then he went off because she obviously couldn't be on the show anymore. So she destroyed the Suits franchise as well as the royal family. As well as the royal family. Ben's more fired up about Suits. There's an old other series. Mike, who was one of the main two franchise as well as the Royal Family. As well as the Royal Family. You know? Ben's more fired up about Suits. They had a whole other series. Mike, who was one of the main two people, wasn't even on it. Why couldn't Mike just get another girlfriend?

Yeah, well, because they ended up getting married and stuff. He could have just said it didn't work out. I'm still here. I can still function as a lawyer. Unfair. Unfair. God damn it, you, Megan. Anyway, another person that's getting a bit of slack recently is Ellen DeGeneres.

It feels like it's turned a little bit on Ellen, the vibe. Yeah, so originally a Twitter thread started about someone who went to the Ellen show and didn't get a positive experience. All these people climbed in and then one of her old bodyguards who protected her at the Oscars

a few years ago spoke to a news site saying that she was the only celebrity that he's worked with that never said hi, never thanked him. She was real cold. And just people are climbing into her now. So that's a bit interesting. I love this stuff.

I love this stuff. Such good thoughts. That she's a monster behind closed doors. I got into a hole of it yesterday. There's rumours that if you're on her staff, you can't talk to her without having chewed gum before. Because you had the same one at John and Ben TV show, didn't you?

I did. I did. It never looked me in the eye. No one can look her in the eye. If you're walking past her and she's not referencing, you've got to walk your back, you've got to have your back to her.

She doesn't want to even see your ugly face. Ugly face could make her day worse. And you're not allowed to use the bathrooms because apparently they're reserved for the Jonas Brothers.

That was another thing. I heard she had a baby coming in. Use the bathrooms. No, not here, but... No, no, I realise that. because apparently they're reserved for the Jonas Brothers. That was another thing. I heard she ate a baby. How often are they coming in? Use the bathrooms. No, not here, but... No, no, I realise that. Well, you never know when the Jonas Brothers, when nature calls, they need somewhere to go. And someone on her staff said she once ate a baby kitten.

I thought you were going to say a bat. When she comes out and dances, she once ate a bat in Wuhan and she caused this whole pandemic. It's Alan's fault. Down with Alan. Burn her at the stake. She's a witch.

Stop, I'm wrapping you up now. I'm wrapping Jono up. This is your new breakfast. Health star rating still pending. It's Jono and Man on the Heads. All right, we're calling every town in New Zealand. Around the nation. We're calling from Twizel to Taihape,

from Seddon to Shunterton Town, if that's a real place. We're doing it in alphabetical order from A to Z. We can't be called New Zealand Show if we don't talk to someone from every town and city in New Zealand. Yeah, you figured out it's going to take us two and a half years. I don't even know if I'm going to be alive in two and a half years. I'm not going to make it through this. Look at me. You feel like you need to donate money to me, don't even know if I'm going to be alive in two and a half years. I'm not going to make it through this. Look at me.

You feel like you need to donate money to me, don't you? So today, where are we going? We're going very shortly. We're going to head up north. But yesterday, we kicked things off. A, the top of the list, Ahora in the west coast of the South Island, town of 300. This is the Ahora Akamatoa store.

God, you're not very good, are you? I'm giving it a bash. Listen, we're phoning everyone in New Zealand. We want to phone someone from every single town and or city in Aotearoa. You're first on the list, baby. You're first, alphabetical first on the list. So where are you? Auckland.

The greatest city in the world? Auckland. Don't say that. Sucking on our soy lattes. Yeah. So that wasn't actually, they don't have phones there. We just had to use a really, really long piece of string and two paper cups. It's amazing the sound you get.

Let's make our second call. Day number two of ringing every town in New Zealand. We're heading to Ahipara up north. Hello, Lonnie speaking. Hello, Lonnie. Hi. Are you part of Ahipara Horse Treks? Yes. Uh-oh, wenie speaking. Hello, Lonnie. Hi. Are you part of Horse Treks?

Yes. Uh-oh, we got you. It's Jono and Ben from The Hits here. Oh, okay. Okay, caught you off guard by surprise. Surprise. Are you respectable? We can talk to you now.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what. That sounded weird. I don't know what. No, you're dressed respectfully. You wear what you want to wear because we're ringing every town in New Zealand alphabetically your day too. Right.

And so, yeah, you're second on the list. Where is Ahipara for those that don't know? Northland, far north. Okay, next to 90 Mile Beach? Yes. Is it actually 90 miles? No, I don't know if it is actually. My husband would say they got ripped off. Yeah, I don't think it is. It's actually 90 miles? No, I don't know if it is, actually. My husband would say they got ripped off.

Yeah, I don't think it is. It's actually 90 miles. I went up there at the start of the year, actually, took a drive all the way out there. Beautiful, beautiful part of the country, the sand dunes, where you can, like, get on a boogie board and slide down. It's quite fun. Or a horse. Slide down on a horse?

I didn't slide down on a horse, but I guess you could go horse trekking if you want to plug your business. Excuse me. I've just Googled how long 90 Mile Beach actually is. 55 miles. Yeah. This is false marketing. Okay, we're going to give you some time now to sell Ahipata,

the far north. Um, okay. It's a beautiful rural location. Um, um, beautiful town, good people. Um, lots to do you've got horse trekking of course you've got 90 mile beach, you're fishing

which is 55 miles you have the great surf awesome cafe great takeaways yeah and I feel like that came directly from you. Okay, I've got my girl here helping me.

How's the horse tracking go with the social distancing? Do you have to separate from the horses or are they part of your bubble? Oh, no, they're part of my bubble. Oh, nice. I wouldn't survive without them. All abilities. All ages, all abilities. Can you hear my hair on the background? All ages, all abilities. Give me a guess. All ages, all abilities.

Yes. That's fine. You always walk a bit funny afterwards, I find. Does that stop? No. No. Like, the only times I've been horse-drawn afterwards, I'm like, oh, okay.

Worse for men than women. Oh, really? Okay. And he asked me to massage it better. So that took a couple of days, didn't it Ben? We had to work that out. Got the Voltaren MU gel. Hey, look after yourself in Ahipara.

Okay. Keep safe. Thank you. Bye. Bye. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. A lot of people getting into the technology at the moment.

Zoom seems to be a big thing. Our house party as well. And even my parents. your parents as well. Yeah, nothing gives me greater joy in life than watching boomers learning new technology. I'm one of them. I'm one of them. We can talk more about that later. I felt it was degrading what you did yesterday, Juliet.

I felt like, oh, am I here in life? Am I here? Like I said, we'll get into that later. Well, actually, my wife was clearing her phone messages I here? Yeah, like I said, we'll get into that later. Well, it was actually, my wife was clearing her phone messages over the weekend and she'd saved a message. This was from a couple of years ago. John, I know you've heard this, but it's such a good message. Which is it?

It's just her dad. Her dad, Tim, who, a great guy, but he had a... I love it how you keep going, Tim's a great guy, I love him, but I don't love him enough not to play this message and ridicule him on the radio. Well, he actually loves it. I said, it's alright if I played it, and he's like, it's fine. Because this is the greatest OK Boomer moment ever.

So a couple of years ago, they got a new phone. So this is my wife's dad, Tim, and he went and left a message on my wife's phone. Now, have a listen to the start of the message. It started so well. Well, because boomers, one of their favourite hobbies is leaving voicemails. It's up there with phoning up talkback and complaining about the younger generation. So he got a new phone

and he left a message. You have a message received yesterday at 8.53pm. Hi Princess, 22.3. Hope it's a good day for you. Catch you later.

Another one of their hobbies, favourite hobbies is... Telling you the time. Telling you the time when you're like, well, the thing does that. The machine tells you when the message was received. But just so

you know... I'm telling you what the time is. So that was what could have been the message. It could have ended there and it would have been fine. And we wouldn't be playing it on the radio. But then the message carried on after a couple of seconds of silence. What are we doing now? What have you turned off? I haven't done anything. No. Just stopped.

I'm trying to ask you to end the call by hitting the red button. I didn't hit anything. Right. So he's talking to his lovely wife, Heather. Yeah, talking or bickering.

I don't know. They say bickering about how the phone works because it's a new phone and they don't know. He doesn't know how to end the message. But they always,

another thing that they like doing is if you're on the phone to them,'s a new phone and they don't know he doesn't know how to end the message but they always another thing that they like doing is if you're on the phone to them they like having a conversation with a third party whose mouth is not near the phone piece yeah they get really upset

it's like yeah I'm getting to that yeah I'll tell him about that you know you're like I can hear that I can clearly hear you guys arguing

and so then just when you thought that was enough of a message it carried on oh yeah see it switched off again oh really And then just when you thought that was enough of a message, it carried on. Oh, yes. See, it switched off again.

And just the sigh of frustration from her. That button as I pushed the button for the message. So there you go. One of the greatest, my gift from my family. Well, to yours. That needs to be in the National Museum. That's a great day for New Zealand there, voicemail. One of the great all-time messages.

Next on the show, Ben, you've come with a proposal this morning to work. And if we were to do this thing that you are pitching, it would happen next week and you're claiming it's a world first. Yeah, as far as I can tell, no one else in the world has been stupid enough to do it. Yeah, because they wouldn't waste their time and or be bothered.

But you want some shameless publicity for this new radio show so you're willing to do anything. No, I'm willing to... Anyway, we'll get to that. No, no. Yes. But no.

No, that wasn't the main reason. But if that comes as part of it... What is the main reason then? I'll come back to you on that. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook And of course, New Zealand doing well

in the fight against COVID-19 No cases yesterday and we'll find out next week if we can go to level 2 or not Yeah, it's happening Monday, isn't it? Monday 11th and we discussed this yesterday Next Monday, Jacinda Ardern tells us if we drop to level two. All going well. It could be the end of next week.

Yeah, well, we should do something to celebrate. What if we don't get it? What if we don't get level two? Yeah. Well, we should do something to celebrate anyway. Just do something to fill in time. What can I plan to do? Okay, tell you what.

Give me 24 hours. I'll come back tomorrow with something we can plan to do. Okay. Now, I've given you a little more. It's just over 24 hours. Oh, thank you. Another seven minutes of brainstorming. What have you come back with? Well, I thought of an idea that we could do that I haven't

seen been done anywhere in the world before and that's the world's longest Zoom call. I don't like it. Well, hang on. Let me post the idea. You already have. I don't like it. So Zoom meetings have been one of the iconic things about the lockdown. So I thought, you know, maybe this could be our last ever Zoom call.

Or even if it's not, let's just go out with a bang and let's have the world's longest Zoom meeting. So we go on Zoom for as long as possible. We can be joined by anyone around New Zealand, whether they be celebrities, people in interesting jobs, punters. It doesn't matter. You just Zoom in and it's basically like a tag team situation. We just keep going until we can't stop zooming.

Well, technically the world's longest Zoom meeting would be 41 minutes, just above that upgrading thing, because no one's got the upgrade. No, we've got the upgrade. We'll get the upgrade. How many hours are you anticipating? Because it sounds like a lot of hard work. I didn't get into radio to work. We just keep going.

We started in the morning of the show and we just keep going. I don't know. So it could never end. Keep going. There's no finish work. We just keep going. We started in the morning of the show and we just keep going. I don't know. So it could never end. Keep going. There's no finish line. You just keep going. Yeah. Well, keep going.

Everyone's at home if they're still in lockdown, and they can join in the Zoom call. Listen, mate, Dom Harvey's over on the edge. He's running marathons. What are you suggesting? We sit in an air-conditioned room just having a Zoom marathon. Well, it's a little easier. It's easier than running marathons.

We could train for a marathon if you want, but I probably can't do that next week. But I can get on Zoom. I was like, what an iconic thing to do in the lockdown. We'll have the world's longest Zoom call, a Zoomathon. It's next level. Literally, it's level two if we are on level two. And even if we're not, we're still, you know,

everyone's in lockdown and they can join us through the Zoom meeting. Yeah, listen, my stance level two. If we are on level two. And even if we're not, we're still, you know, everyone's in lockdown and they can join us through the Zoom meeting. Yeah, listen, my stance hasn't changed. I don't like it. There's an and between our names. I'm not just going to agree with you.

You always like to do these things that go for two or three days. I'm like, mate, I've got a family at home. That's why I like to do these things that go for two or three days. No, I love my family. I love you guys.

They'll be listening to Dom Harvey. He's running marathons. That's why they like him. That's why they listen. Oh, no. No. Not doing it. No, let's put it to the phones, all right?

Oh, 800, that hits. Let's do this. This is risky because it could go either way. One call to rule them all. Okay. Oh, 800, that hits the telephone number. Do we embark on the world's longest Zoom meeting, which could go for two or three days?

Oh, it could go. Let's go full day, see if we can get, I don't know. Let's not put a timer on it. Let's just say a long Zoom. A world's longest Zoom meeting. Hey, we'll go 0800, that hits. Oh, there's a call coming through just right now. Right now?

Oh, no, it's clear you've just walked out of the studio on your phone. Hello? Oh, Jono, shocking idea Hello. I'm with Jono. Shocking idea. This is you, Jono. Shocking, eh? This is you, Jono. You're on your phone.

You've left the studio. Sounds like too much hard work to me, mate. I wouldn't do it. So you're not recommending that we do it for the radio show? If you just listen to what I'm going to say. Okay, all right. Sorry. Thanks.

Have I missed my word? Okay, so we may or may not. One call, one call. Thanks for your call. Thanks for your call, mate. No worries, mate. Really love the show, guys. Oh, no, sorry.

Really love the show, guys. You got the wrong guy. Anyway, okay, so we may or may not be doing the Zoomathon next week. If you want to text us, 34487, if you think it's a good idea, we'll run a bit of a snap poll because I wasn't happy with that one call. You're the one who said let's do one call. Yeah, but that was you. I wasn't expecting to get you on the phone.

The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Okay, one song to get them on. We pitch a scenario and as the title suggests, we have one commercial friendly radio song to find a caller who's had that happen to them. And the question today was, have you come back from overseas and has the government put you in quarantine?

Where are you? Are we feeding you? Is it like a friendly prison with a little less violence? I don't know. We want these questions answered and we're going to head to Christchurch. Nicole, you're in quarantine. Hi guys, how are you? Oh, I can smell the COVID through

the phone. Can't you? I feel like I'm catching it off you. Why were you quarantined? I've been working on a cruise ship for the last six months. So we headed to Singapore and corona was quite bad then. So we've been in quarantine since March, no, February the 15th. And then we went back to Australia, got kicked out of Australia Waters and then headed to the Philippines and got a government flight home. Wow.

So you're on the cruise ship, just like staying there, not really travelling for a long time. Yeah, we haven't had passengers since then, so it's been a long time since we've had any contact with anybody. Is it just you just like driving the ship by yourself, cruising around? Yeah, that's the one. How many working on the ship with you guys in quarantine? There was 1,200 staff.

1,200, that's a lot of staff. And do you still have to work or you're like, oh, no passengers to look after? We were lucky that we got to use all the pools and stuff until it got real bad and then we had to be in isolation by ourselves in our rooms so they would just deliver food to us. So for like 17 days we were stuck in our rooms. We couldn't go out or anything.

So was anyone actually sick on the boat? No, we haven't had any coronavirus on our ship. The government in the Philippines are coming on every day to check as well. Wow. So, a serious question, what do you think is going to happen to the cruise industry after this?

Because I imagine things like this would sort of stop people wanting to go on cruises, which can be a lot of fun. Yeah, I think it's going to go down for a while. They stopped cruising for the next three to four months, so hopefully we can get back and running next year.

Ben, you're still out cruising, no, aren't you? Hasn't stopped your cruising. No, no. These people aren't about for that, though, at the moment. Well, thank you so much for calling through. And how long do you have to stay in quarantine for? For another 12 days, I think, and then hopefully we can get out

after that. Gee, well someone's actually texted in 4487 saying they are currently holed up in a hotel in Christchurch they flew back from overseas this week and they're allowed out for half an hour every day with a police escort and they're given food

loving life staying in a fancy mode of getting fed, getting massaged. I don't know if the massages are happening. Massage is part of it, right? But she said that guy next door tried to come back in with two prostitutes. Oh, really? Yeah, he was obviously stopped at the door.

And he's like, mate, what? Because they've got security and police manning the rooms. And like, what are you doing? Like, you can't. One's okay, but two's. No, none's okay. Social distancing. That's for sure.

That sort of stuff shouldn't be going on. Hey, well, thank you so much for your calls and texts. There we go. Really interesting to know what's happening. Because you hear about all these people. You don't know what the day-to-day living is like. And, you know, two weeks trapped in hotel rooms. A long time.

Remember to double pump the Virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben, mum's the word. Now, of course, it is Mother's Day on Sunday, and if you're stuck on Mother's Day gift ideas, nothing says thanks, mum, like a box of Cadbury roses. Got new limited edition packaging for this weekend, so Cadbury got it sorted for you.

Nothing says thanks, mum, like a box of Cadbury roses. It rolled off the tongue. I've lost all comprehension of what the wrappers mean now in relation to the flavour of the chocolate, like if they're out of the box, because obviously you get the display menu. I don't know, it's a wild guessing game. Sometimes I end up with a Turkish Delight

tasting thing in my mouth. Are you a Turkish Delight fan? No! It was like, am I going to offend the Turkish people here? I'll just double check. I'm more concerned

about offending Cadbury, but I don't know if Turkish Delight flavour is in the roses. I think you've got favourites in here. Well, I just want to go on a rampage

about Turkish Delights. I've got a box of leftovers. Save it for your non-Cadbury sponsored segments. I've got a box of just leftover Turkish delights that no one's touching in the house. People love them. No one's touching in the house. Well, the Turkish people, can I just say, are delightful from the outset, but their chocolates are horrendous.

All right, we're going to go to Mark. Welcome, Mark. G'day, guys. How are you? What's your favourite chocolate, Mark? I reckon it's probably the conch anyway. Alright, we're going to go to Mark. Welcome, Mark. G'day, guys. How are you? What's your favourite chocolate, Mark? I reckon it's probably the conchies. Oh, yeah. Sometimes you can get like a squirrel and nibble around the

outside, you know, the outer layer. Now, Mark, you're going to play our game called Mum's the Word. We're going to call your mum. What's your mum's name? Annette. What does Annette do for a living? Annoy me. No, she's retired. She's retired, so she's spending her time getting older,

taking up hobbies. My dad started learning Russian or something, Italian. He started learning Italian in his retirement. Amazing for you. Yeah, and they leave

a lot of voicemails is what my parents do. In Italian? Yeah, ciao. So what we're going to do is we're going to give you a word and you've got to see

how quickly you can get your mum to say the word. Either way, you'll win a Cadbury hamper, a Cadbury Roses hamper, and you'll be in the draw for a thousand bucks if yours is the best time over the week. They don't involve the Turkish Delight, so the Cadbury Roses. Ben's getting

nervous about my Turkish Delight, Ben. Alright, let's go through to Annette. The word that you need to get her to say is COVID-19. Six seconds, the time to beat the current record holder. What's the word? I missed Mr Wood? COVID-19. Okay. Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? You there, Mum? Hello? Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Are you there? Oh, I can't hardly hear you, Mark. Oh, okay. It must be that new disease that's going around. What's it called?

COVID-19. Oh! You spent about 10 seconds talking over each other. It's John Owen being calling from the Hits radio station. Well, well done. You've won a Cadbury Roses hamper. Oh, wow. That's lovely.

And you were in the draw for $1,000, but you didn't beat the time of six seconds, mainly because you were all saying hello over each other. Annette, are you doing well? How's the lockdown for you? It's going fine, thank you, good. Yeah, and what are your hobbies and interests? Gardening, reading, watching Netflix.

Oh, yeah. Watch that Tiger King doco? Oh, I watched half of it and then got a bit bored with it, silly man. How did you get bored with that? I'm with you on this one. It's seven episodes. You got bored of it?

Yeah, I've done three and then I'm like, that's enough. Yeah, that's what I thought too. I was halfway through. Seven episodes. Yeah, I know. Mark, have you seen all of the Tiger King? Yeah, I watched it all. Yeah.

It's like a train wreck you can't watch. Oh, I did. And Annette did as well. Hey, Annette, well done. We'll get you out those Cadbury Roses. Happy Mother's Day. Thank you. Hugs and kisses to both of you and Mark.

Thank you very much. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Now, we've been working with Producer Juliet for a few weeks now. It's been fun. Yes, it's been lots of fun. It's been 90% enjoyable for me.

Well, until yesterday, right? Yes, it's 10%, which is clouds come over 10% of our enjoyment of working with Producer Juliet. Hold on. See, Ben and me, we came into this organisation as Google guys, aren't we? Not employed by Google. That'd be nice, but we just use it as our system. Yeah, we like the Google, love the Gmail, love the Google guys, aren't we? Not employed by Google, that'd be nice, but we just use it as our system. Yeah, we like the Google, love the Gmail,

love the Google Drive, love the Google Hangout. Just like Google.com. I was going to say, you've got a Google, so yeah, you just Google it. That's what we'd say, right? That was our thing. That was our thing. And we'd store all of our personal photos on Google

in the cloud, and who knows who can access them. There's some grim stuff on there. Oh, wow. So we came across this new work here at NZME and you were like, we've got to get on this OneDrive. You might be Google guys, but we're Microsoft men. And women. We've got our Microsoft systems in place here at NZME.

You seem to be the bastion for this, like flying the Microsoft flag. Hell yeah. No, actually, I do like Google Drive, but I'm just working to not get you fired. That's the thing. So anyway, but we came in here and every day like, come over to, I'm sorry for this impersonation. It sounded, was that, I thought it was Juliet. Come over to the OneDrive. Come over to OneDrive.

And so we were like, yeah, no, we'll get to it, get to it. Just like, just palming Juliet off for about a month. Yeah. You're sending our emails to the system. You've even started setting up our work on the system, right? Yes. I've set up a folder called the Jono and Ben folder on OneDrive. I've saved it to your favourites so it's easy access.

You talked us through yesterday and I did. I felt like I was my dad and all of a sudden I was getting explained things. You're like, okay, guys, now we're going to sit down and put you on OneDrive. And we're like, okay. Okay, boomers, this is what we're going to do. Exactly. And she literally, like, it got to the point, Juliet,

where you're like, if you click that star there, that's a favourite for one of your bookmarks. And you can access it at any start. Did you guys know that? I didn't know that, to be honest. And yeah, it made me feel, I was like, I'm here. I'm here. So we're here now.

And we're on OneDrive now. So there you go. Because you're quite a systematic person when it comes to your emails. You were saying before you like to get your emails to zero. Yes, I do. I like to work from a zero inbox, although it's a bit up the wazoo at the moment. It means, you know, you have everything in your folders on your side, and once you've ticked everything off, you've replied, you've done that, you just drag

it to its little folder, or you delete it, and then everything in your inbox is everything you need to get back on. It's like a to-do list, if that makes sense. You're a tidy person. Tidy, organised. Can I show you a photo? This is from a friend of ours. This is how many emails Unready had in his inbox. Read out that number.

68,763. How's that make you feel? That makes me feel all anxious inside. And I was also worried reading out that number, I was going to do the Donald Trump and completely mess up how it was said. So she had 68,763 unread emails. When it gets to that stage, just give up. I've missed out on a lot of important stuff.

I'm like that too. I haven't checked this email for weeks. I've probably been fired from this job, but I haven't read the email. You have. I've got to get on the Microsoft system and have a look. We're all talking about it on the OneDrive. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits.

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