Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 06 - Zoe Bell, Lost & Found, Scrolling Through Your Feed

Episode Date: May 6, 2020

Scrolling Through Your FeedRude AwakeningWin An AdControversial CalloutsSpyLost & FoundWe're doing a Zoom-A-ThonBen on his daughter's toothSpyAround The NationZoe Bell called inBig News Small TownSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast on a Wednesday, Jono and Ben with you. Really excited about today's show. We're joined by Zoe Bell, a Kiwi stuntwoman, who's put together the most epic video online. It features Cameron Diaz, Margot Robbie, Drew Barrymore, and a whole lot of other stars. How do you get hold of those people? I don't know.

Why can't we? We can't get hold of those people. No, we can't get hold of them. We got hold of Zoe Bell, which was cool. Yeah, we can't even get hold of the Briscoes lady. This sounds like a joke. She is impossible to get. Do you know, I read the other day that obviously COVID-19 has stopped

so many things around the world, sadly, and even the Briscoes sale. Who would have thought? Briscoes aren't even having a sale? No, they wouldn't have been able to for many weeks. For the first time in history. I know, it's like, yeah, I mean. They'll be having a sale every day to make up for this. Oh, totally.

Once we hit level two. So we've got Zoe Bell. As well as that, we're doing something really big next Wednesday. Jono, you're slowly coming around on this idea. It's going to be big. It's a world first. It's a transformation for me. I'm transitioning into this idea. Yeah, it's a big idea. So check it to be big. It's a world first. It's a transformation for me. I'm transitioning into this idea.

Yeah, it's a big idea. So check it out on the podcast and you can check out that idea next week. The Songy Cornflakes of Radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Very excited. Got Hollywood stunt woman Zoe Bell. Zoe Bell joining us live via Zoom after 8 o'clock. She's just released this video with like

Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore and it's amazing, eh? Mate, the internet is blowing the hell up. I was on CNN yesterday, that video, so it's really awesome. I love Zoe Bell. She's a good lady. I mean, she could beat us both up at the same time. Oh, definitely. Even if we amputated all of her legs and arms, she'd still beat us up.

Yeah. Now, congratulations to Sam Kane, new All Black Captain announced last night. Oh, that'll mean a lot to him. What? That Ben Boyce said congratulations, Sam Kane. I'm sure All Black Captain'll mean a lot to him. What? That Ben Boyce said congratulations to Sam Kane. I'm sure All Black captain thing means a lot to him. But all right, so dig at me. Yeah, I know, fair enough. But I would like to say congratulations to Sam.

He seems like a nice guy. I've never met him personally. No, he does seem like a top player. He came back from a neck injury, broke his neck a few years ago. I mean, that must be so scary to come back and play rugby after that. Oh, he has got a fruitful life of Westpac commercials and Weet-Bix ads ahead of him now. My mum actually yesterday, speaking at All Blacks,

she sent me this photo, a little me, going, you could have been in All Black. I'm wearing All Blacks tops. How old are you there? I must have been about three. Too chubby, mate. Look how chubby you are. You're never going to make the squad with that.

I replied back yeah mum I could have been an All Black maybe if I was more talented less timid and bulked up a little bit I was like but the good news is I can still fit that All Black top

poster at the time he somehow got smaller than he was in a three year old very cute furler there Ben so thanks mum mum's like you could have been an All Black I was like no I couldn't

you saw me play rugby who's the captain of this show okay producer Juliet you can nominate yourself too producer Juliet Mum's like, you could have been in All Black. I said, no, I couldn't. You saw me play rugby. Who's the captain of this show? Okay, Producer Juliet. You can nominate yourself too, Producer Juliet. We've got Producer Humphrey next door. We call him Bumfrey. He hates it. We've got Ben Boyce.

We've got Juliet and myself. Okay, you're naming who's the captain of the show. I'm going to say Bumfrey. Oh, yeah, Ben Humphrey. He's a responsible one, isn't he? He's behind the scenes. He's pulling the strings. Yeah.

Ben was like, I'm dead. But Ben Boyce is secretly going, I'm the captain. He knows it. I'll wrap you up, John, because I've got stuff to talk about. And something else that happened overnight, if you're waking up this morning and you want to know what's going on in the world, a five-year-old in America, in Utah,

was pulled over by cops. He was driving the car by himself. So he was swerving. There was a car swerving all over the road. And the cop was like, oh, my God, someone's been in trouble. You know, is it a medical emergency? Pulled over the car. And there's a five-year-old boy in the driver's seat.

He'd driven three Ks from his house. And he was on his way to buy a Lamborghini. Oh, did he have an EFTPOS card? No, $3. The guy's like, you're a little short. Basically, a little short to be driving and a little short on the money for a Lamborghini. Oh, did he have an EFTPOS card? No, $3 in his pocket. The guy's like, you're a little short, basically a little short to be driving and a little short on the money for a Lamborghini. Did he even know where the Lamborghini shop was or was he just going to

type it into Google Maps? So yeah. Oh gee, I remember when I was about four, geez, 15 and I had my learners. Mum and Dad were like, you can take the 1991 Toyota Corolla up the road to the dairy to get some milk, you know. And that's the thing that you'd trust your son to do.

But then I went and picked my friend up. So this is why you're not show captain. This is an example why you're not show captain. I picked my friend Ben Russell up. And all I have is just friends named Ben. If your name's not Ben, you're not going to be my friend. I've got Ben Humphrey, the producer. Ben Boyce.

Just keeps replacing Bens with Bens. And we were going to pick up some babes or friend. I've got Ben Humphrey, the producer. Ben Boyce. Just keeps replacing Ben's with Ben's. And we were going to pick up some babes or something. I don't know what you do when you're 15. And I came around the corner, slid out, and went boom into a parked car. Oh, my God. And then I panicked and drove off. No. I did.

This is why you're not show captain again. It was a hit and run. And then I remember pulling into the driveway. And literally the bumper was going all the way home. And I pulled into the driveway and Annie and John Pryor, the look on their face. They took me into the police station because I'd been reported to the police.

I had to go to central police. It was a hell of a rigmarole. And all I was meant to do was get a bottle of milk. Remember to double pump the virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Of course, we find out on Monday When we drop down to level 2 And what level 2 will be like

We can find out tomorrow Please be haircuts Please be haircuts That's all I'm hanging out for You need one I know You're a shambles mate You keep saying every day

You want to do it I saw Hilary Barry did it to Jeremy Wells On Seven Sharp last night She didn't do a good job I saw that She ended up shaving a massive line up the back of his head. So if even Hilary Barry can't be trusted, then I'm definitely not trusting you.

Just trust me. Just trust me, you hippie. Look at you. No. No, what's that? Oh, no. Shut up. What?

Shut up. Oh, now what? Oh, it's Jono and Bede's rude awakening. We are up early, and we like to get other people up as well, get them to start their day with a live radio quiz. That's right. And a chance to win a $40 Hell Pizza voucher.

I tell you what, who wouldn't want to be woken up for a Hell Pizza voucher? That's great. Probably the owner of Pizza Hut. Yeah, true. They'd be the only people not happy about this. But Louise is in Whanganui. Welcome, Louise. Morning.

How are you? You sound sprightly alive and pumped up on coffee. I've been awake for an hour. Oh, yeah. Why do you get up so early? I got work this morning. You do, Louise? I'm a carer.

Oh, good on you. Yeah. Yeah, well, I tell you what, we're carers. You're showing no care for your flatmate right now because we're about to... No. No. We're going to wake up Andre, is it, your flatty? Yes, that's right.

So what's Andre meant to be doing today? So he's working night shift actually tonight at Fonterra. Oh. So he needs his sleep. Well, he needs an afternoon sleep, so he should be up now. Okay, so this is... Okay, right, doing this for the good of Andre. He should be awake.

Okay. So we're phoning Andre right now. Okay, so this is okay. Right, doing this for the good of Andre. He should be awake. Okay. So we're phoning Andre right now. Good luck with this, Louise. This could really divide the flat. See, I'm not one of these people that would answer my phone in this situation. Andre. It's John Owen Bean calling from the Hits radio station. You've been put on the spot with a quiz to win $40 Hell Pizza.

You ready for your first question? What? Hit the music, producer. Your flatmate is dropped. We're not going to mention which flatmate. We're just going to say it's dropped your winner, and now you have a chance to win $40 Hell Pizza. You've just got to answer some simple questions.

Okay. I have a question. How many flatmates do you have? One particular. So Ben, you're really... Yeah, I was hoping there might be a few there at the smoke screen. Anyway.

First question, Andre. Kim Kardashian posed nude in the December 2007 issue of what? A, Ben's Instagram account, B, Playboy magazine, or C, New Zealand home and garden? B. Yeah, well done. He's got $10 from Hell Pizza. You did repost that on your Instagram account, B, Playboy magazine or C, New Zealand home and garden? B. Yeah, well done. He's got $10 from Hell Pizza.

You did repost that on your Instagram account. No, I didn't. Post Malone, the rapper, has what words tattooed on his face? A, I am never going to regret this, B, always tired, or C, uh-oh. Andre. Yeah.

Yep. And that's the answer we're looking for. On to the next question. Donald Trump owns and operates 18 what? Dettol factories, golf courses, or tanning salons? Yep. B. There we go.

Yep. I feel like Andre's about to jump down the phone and eat us. Last question, Andre. I'm sorry about waking you up, my friend. Zayn Malik. Zayn Malik from One Direction. Didn't have a what before he was in One Direction? Didn't have a clue?

Didn't have a talent? Or didn't have a passport? I don't know. See? All right. So much enthusiasm for the project, Andre. Andre, we're going to give you $40. Hell pizza. He didn't have a passport, and I Andre, we're going to give you $40 hell pizza.

He didn't have a passport, and I know you'll be interested to know that. I don't want you to go back to sleep without knowing that, Andre. You can thank Louise for this. This has been John O'Benn on The Hits. We've got a listener for life in Andre. See you, Andre. Have a good day. Sorry about the early morning start. Go back to sleep.

A lot of grumbling, a lot of swearing. It was all a bad dream. Thank you, Louise. Thank you. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Don't tell the sales department because it's Jono and Ben's Winning Ad. It's Winning Ad where we phone businesses at random.

We've produced 70% of a radio commercial for them. They have to awkwardly fill in the blanks, fumble their way through it, and then we hang up on them. They don't know we're calling, though, and we really put people on the spot. We were saying yesterday that we'd crumble in this situation, right? Yeah, and we'd do it for a job. I wouldn't be able to do this. You're like, uh, uh, uh, you know, but that's part of the fun of winning an ad.

I don't know if anyone actually remembers the businesses or any of the advertising that takes place, but we're going to go through to our Thames right now, the Still Shop in Thames. Good morning, Still Shop Thames. Speaking with Jill. Jill? Yes.

Jono, Beno, the hits. Sorry? It's Jono and Ben calling from the radio station. How are you? We're doing all right. We're giving away free advertising, and we just thought you might for the radio station. How are you? We're doing all right. We're giving away free advertising, and we just thought you might want a free ad.

A free ad? Yeah. Is that something you're in the market for, Jill? Something we usually quite like. Oh, you're a bit desperate for some advertising, eh? Well, we're open. Okay, well, let's get you to fill in the blanks, Jill. Have you heard about one of the Kiwi businesses?

It's the... Still Shop 10. There we go. Famous for its popular... Outdoor power equipment. Woo, she's on fire. And don't forget the crowd favourite... Servicing of power equipment. But wait, there's more, because that's not even the best thing about them.

Let me tell you about it right now. The wonderful service we provide. Of? Of outdoor power equipment. And who could forget their catchy slogan? It's just a sigh. The Steel Shop teams. That's a good sigh.

It's a good sigh. It's like they've serviced my outdoor power equipment. And their wonderful staff, who sometimes like to reveal a secret about themselves live on the radio. We are the best. Oh, no, I don't. You started so strong.

You're like, I'm going to reveal everything. Oh, it's so good to have you guys back open again. Now, where can people find you? 317 Pollen Street. Good on you, Jill. 07868 8730. Go see Jill. That's the one.

Hey, Jill, obviously you deal with outdoor power equipment, as you like to tell us. Jono likes the vacuum as driveway. Surely there must be a better tool for that. Oh, there is a still SH-56 currently on special. I can get the SH-56? How much are we talking there, Jill?

$3.95. And what would the SH-56 do? It will blow your leaves into a nice big pile, tidy up your driveway and then you change it over and vac them all up. Does it suck and blow? It does. Put them down for two.

All right, Jill, you have a great day. Thank you. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. This is controversial call-outs. We both say something that could be deemed controversial by the masses and the game is the first to get someone to call up on 0800 THE HITS, which is 0800 843 4487, and agree with them.

Simple as that. Ben, I started yesterday. I'll hand it over to you. Pineapple on pizza, awesome. The French TV show, they're overrated. I don't really like chocolate. Controversial call-outs. I'm going to kick things off today.

Wearing socks to bed is fine. You can put socks on. You can wear them to bed. I don't know why there's such a stigma against wearing socks to bed. Because you've got to air your feet. Do you wear socks to bed? Sometimes. Not all the time.

But I don't know why people are like, oh, you can't wear socks to bed. Oh, unsexy. I'm like, well, if my feet want to be warm in socks, why do I need to take them off? What if you're, you know. I can keep them on. Really? I can keep them on. I can take them off.

Do you keep them on? Sometimes keep them on. Sometimes take them off. During. You know, look, just socks is, you know, that's the least of my worries, you know. As long as everything else is off. You've looked after. Yeah, but if you

go into the effort of taking everything off... I probably would, but there's sometimes... You know, like socks, I just don't know why there's such a big stigma against wearing socks in bed. Like if you want... Because they're designed for shoes. They're designed for keeping your feet warm. Who says they're only designed for shoes? The guy who invented them.

Then you go, hey, put these on, but you only put them on before wearing shoes. Well, the sheets are doing the work of keeping your feet warm. How cold are your feet? Well, if I want to put them on, you know? Oh, listen, I can't stop you. No, you can't.

At the end of the day. You can't. So I'm going to say... I'm not the boss of you. It's okay to wear socks in bed. That's my controversial call out this morning. What's your... What's Amanda's...

This is your wife. What's her thoughts on it? She'd probably say take the socks off. Yeah. Yeah. For some people, you can't wear your socks in bed. But I'm like,

if I want to, I will. But I guess the thing is, if you've worn your socks to bed and you get up and you're still wearing socks to work, there's at no point that your feet have had any natural air or light. Yeah, it's not like I do it every day.

Slowly your feet will rot off. You don't want to jump into a shower, you know? Yeah. It'd be like when those guys went to war and they never changed their socks. That's you. That's you right now. He's lost four toes just in the last two minutes. All right, what's yours?

If you agree with me, I'll 800 the hits, but I don't know if anyone will call up on that number. Okay. My controversial call out is Auckland is the greatest goddamn city in the world. No. Auckland is. That's if you forget about the traffic and the frightening homeless statistics at the moment. Well, you can't say it's the greatest city in the world.

Yeah, it's the greatest. I grew up here. I've got no problems with it. And I've made some notes because I knew that you were going to question me on this and I wanted to have a good argument have you been around the South Island

have you been to places like Queenstown oh it's nice it's beautiful so many beautiful towns in the South Island but then if you're there all the time

you become you know you get used to it whereas Auckland is a functioning city and a place to live is it how's your rail system

you can go sailing in the harbour on your boat shoes over to Waiheke for a wonderful cab sav at the vineyards. We have lost all of our South Island listeners. I can go cruising along the waterfront in my convertible Audi to play tennis at 10.30 in the morning. I've never hated you more than right now. I can walk along Queen Street and get punched in the face on Saturday night. In Auckland, we have some of the best scientists working in their backyards

and laboratories in West Auckland, making all sorts of advancements in science. I don't know if that's true. We are a progressive, forward-thinking city. And we have the most expensive houses in the Western world. Have you ever wanted to pay $1.5 million for a rusty shed in a city? Do you want to pay more than what a house is worth and come to Auckland? What are you, Phil Goff?

Everyone hates on Auckland. They do. But they also hate on Donald Trump, don't they? And that legend solved COVID-19 by saying we should inject debt holes. I say give Auckland a go. Who do you agree with? 0800 the hits. Sockman over there or Auckland boy over here. Tough one no. So I say give Auckland a go. Who do you agree with? 0800 the hits. Sockman over there or Auckland boy over here. It's a tough one today.

Maybe no one agrees with us. Let's go to the phones. Stanley, you're on from Auckland. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Stanley. Morning, guys. Stanley, Auckland,

the greatest city in the world or are you agreeing with socks and bed? I'm agreeing with the socks and bed. Someone from Auckland says it's okay to wear socks and bed, but it's not okay to say Auckland's the greatest city in the world. How often would you wear socks and bed? Not all the time, right? During autumn to winter.

Yeah, autumn to winter. Yeah, autumn to winter because it's quite cold. Keep your feet warm all night. Yeah, all night. All night. All night. No part of the night that those feet aren't warm. I'm with you, Stanley. Yeah, all night. All night. All night. No part of the night that those feet aren't warm. I'm with you, Stanley.

You're on the line, buddy. We'll find something for you. I appreciate your call this morning, all right? No worries. Have a great day. You guys have a good one. Good on you. Thanks for listening.

But do you know Auckland was the capital for 25 years in New Zealand? I didn't know that. I didn't know they were up north by Russell. That was the first capital. Yeah. They really couldn't stick with the decision back then, could they? They were like, we're here now, the capital. Actually, there's probably better places. We'll go there.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Spy. No what's up. Spy.co.nz. With the producer Juliet, she delves into the gossip from all over the world and it saves you from clicking on TMZ on the internet.

That's right. Or scrolling through your phone. Where do you get your filth from? I get it from E! News, ET Online, Daily Mail, just all of, everywhere. How do you know what's real and what's just salacious, made-up, tabloid gossip? Well, I really don't but Let's be honest, I have no idea. I copy and paste it and read it

on the radio. Exactly and one of those stories is Nicolas Cage is going to be playing Joe Exotic in a new mini series about him. I think he'll do a good job of that He will. He's slightly unhinged as well Nicolas Cage. Yeah I think he'll do a good job Yeah. So it's going to be

a little mini-series and Kate McKinnon is playing Carol Baskin. Kill her, husband, whack her. She's from Saturday Night Live, right? Yeah, Saturday Night Live. And so Joe Exotic's

husband, Dylan Passage, has spoken about it, said that he was surprised that Nicholas Cage was chosen. He thought it would be David Spade, who's from SNL, the was chosen. He thought it would be David Spade, who's from SNL, the guy, the blonde guy.

No, David Spade. Yeah, who was Joe Dirt. Yeah. And Joe Dirt is basically Joe Exotic. That's true. But yeah, so it's Nicolas Cage and Dylan, Joe's husband, wants Zac Efron or Paul Wesley,

who's in Vampire Diaries. Of course he does. He can pick anyone he can pick out. Zac Efron. You'd be like picking Kevin Hart or something. You'd just be one blinding... Can I get The Rock? The Rock.

Oh, no, probably... For me, playing me in a movie, I don't know, maybe Leo, Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, fuck! Elaborate yourself!

No, just because he's box office gold. His movies are like... The Academy love them. He gets nominated, you know? And Ben has a penchant for 20-year-olds. What about you? I reckon for you... I reckon Tom Hanks at the end of Philadelphia. No, but Vin Diesel,

but like one of those movies like when Matthew McConaughey had to, you know, look really sick and not eat for ages. So Vin Diesel like slimmed down. And you're like, wow, Vin Diesel as you've never seen before. It'd be you. So maybe it was his first like serious acting role, rather than blockbuster movies.

Yeah, right. So it's Vin Diesel as you've never seen him before in the bleakest time of his life. That or Pitbull the rapper. Yes, Pitbull. That's so good. And producer Juliette, I'm going to go Beyonce for you. Oh, thanks. Yes, love her.

And Dame Judi Dench has officially become the oldest cover star to be on British Vogue. So she is on the June issue. Her photo, I'll show you here. I mean, the people listening can't really see it, but you can Google it. This is her photo. Isn't that sweet? Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah, I know. Ben's always about, like, doesn't the Queen look great for 93? Now, that's a photo. Dame Judi Dench looks great for 80. She does look good. She does look good. So you can say that safely a photo. Dame Judi Dench looks great for 80. She does look good. She does look good. So you can say that safely about her.

She looks great. Do you know, every time I hear Judi Dench, I think of my friend Andy who had a dream once and he was like, I had a dream that you were hosting a new game show.

I was like, oh really? It was called Who the Judi Is It? And there was a whole show you had to work out which Judi it was. Which Judi Dench? Well, basically,

that was the only way. So episode one was Judi Dench and then after that, he was like, I really didn't think I had much legs as a show. Judge Judi? Judi, you was Judy Dench. And then after that, he was like, I really didn't think I had much legs as a show. Judge Judy. Judy, you can do an episode on Judy Bailey.

And he was like, there wasn't too many Judys. And everyone kept telling me that, the dream. I'm like, no, this is the greatest show ever. Apparently, I was really passionate about who the Judy is. Oh, that's very kind of you. Every time I hear Judy Dench, I think of the show that was in a dream of my friend. How long was the show? Like half an hour.

Half an hour format. And everyone was like, bad idea, Ben. I'm like, no, no, this isn't going to be great. But isn't the answer always just going to be Judy? Well, you're there, yeah, but you have to work out which Judy it was. And I'm like, it could be a different Judy each week. And they're like, how many famous Judys do you know? I don't know why I'm giving this so much airtime.

Yeah, I know. This TV show. We're just hoping that some production company's listening that might want to make who the Judy is. Thank you, Producer Juliet. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Thank you for joining us this morning.

Day two was yesterday where we had no corona cases, no new cases of corona. Yeah, I just heard wonderful Ash Thomas. She's a good newsreader. She's great. She's like the broadcaster my mum probably wanted me to be. Well done, Ash. But she was just saying that a US scientist has looked into the,

there were rumours that the Chinese had manufactured coronavirus in a laboratory in order, well I got into a deep hole of conspiracy theory. Their plan was they've got a massive population, over a billion people there. They wanted to just wipe out some of the top end.

Some of the elderly people. Bring the numbers down. And this was the rumour that they'd created this virus to just knock out some of the elderly people. It the numbers down. Right. And this was the rumour that they'd created this virus to just knock out some of the elderly people, and it kind of got a little bit out of hand. It didn't, it was. The whole sports, Olympics cancelled, flights grounded. Yeah, it kind of got away.

Whoever came up with that plan, there was a bit of a mad dog. He's like, run with me on this. But no, that's not the case. They've found out that there was no way that this could have been manufactured in a laboratory, which is good, isn't it? It's good to know because I was questioning humanity when I was like, would people actually do this? Well, yeah.

Well, thankfully, no. Yeah, I would. That'd probably be an idea I'd come up with, wouldn't it, Ben? Maybe one of those ones in the brainstorming session where they're like, no idea's a bad idea, but you'd be like... Hey, mate, get out. You just said you want to wipe out all the old people in China. You're like, Jono, that was a bad idea.

That's the one time. Anyway, let's give away this. Jono and Ben's Lost and Found. Now, we have found here in our empty offices at the moment a Sony soundbar that is worth over $800. You can get them from sony.co.nz. I was looking right now. So it's basically a sleek and compact soundbar,

a built-in subwoofer, and it's worth around about $829. I'm glad. I only like my soundbars to be sleek. Yeah, well, sleek is awesome. Anything that's not sleek, I will not have a bar of. And the Sony soundbar, I tell you, you'll be playing your bangers until three in the morning. You'll be waking up playing bangers and bacon for breakfast, bangers and mash for dinner.

It's a great prize. We're going to head to New Plymouth. Jed, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. Okay great prize. We're going to head to New Plymouth. Jed, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Hey, boys. How are you? We're doing well, Jed. You're an accountant on your way to work in the next?

Yeah, going on my way to take my desk, funnily enough, so I couldn't have come at a better time. Oh, good on you, my friend. Well, we're going to ask you five questions. If you get all five correct, that Sony soundbar is all yours. You're going to be keeping New Plymouth awake at night. Are you ready? I didn't realise there was a clip to go along with it.

I got it on my iTunes now and it's yet cool now to it, but I'll give it a shot. Why would we just give away a soundbar without quirky questions? How long have you been listening to commercial radio, mate? It's the backbone of this thing. Too long, eh? Too long. First question. Orange is the New Black is an original series for which streaming service?

Netflix. One from one. He's got one from one. A second question. How old was Adele when she released her album titled 25? 25? Yeah. Well done.

Yeah. That's a good way to do it because you can remember how old you were when you did it. I can never remember how old I was when I did stuff, when I released my first hit international album that bolstered me into a millionaire. Who has been announced to play Joe Exotic in a new TV series? We just talked about this. No idea on that one, sorry. Oh, it was Nicolas Cage.

Sorry, Jed. Oh, yeah, of course. He plays everyone, doesn't he? I should have known that. He does. You're a good man and you're a good accountant. I don't know that. You may be dodging the IRD.

You may be cooking books. I don't know. I don't know. But I'm just going to say you're a good accountant and I love your work, Jed. Awesome. Appreciate that. Have a good day, mate.

Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Now, we might drop down to level two next week. There's a chance at the end of next week, and I thought before we do, while we're still in lockdown, we should do one final Zoom call, you know, one final Zoom meeting and make it really epic, Jono.

You're not keen on this idea. Well, you know, I pitched it yesterday, and you're like, well, when you say this stuff, they go on for days. They go on for days. Well, I've made it into a promo. If you don't know what we're talking about, have a listen to this. Hello, Jono Pryor. Hello, Benjamin Boyce, formerly of television. Thanks for introducing me. Well, I've made it into a promo. If you don't know what we're talking about, have a listen to this. The Hats Breakfast. Hello, Jon and Pra.

Hello, Benjamin. Voice formerly of television. Thanks for introducing me. Hey, you know how everyone's using Zoom video calls during lockdown? Yes, Benjamin. Well, I was thinking we could do the world's longest Zoom video call. I don't like it.

Well, it's too late. We're already part of a promo. Jono and Ben's Zoomathon. The world's longest Zoom meeting. When it stops, nobody knows. Listen out to The Breakfast Show. Jono and Ben's Zoomathon. The world's longest Zoom meeting. When it stops, nobody knows. Listen out to The Breakfast Show. Jono and Ben. Next Wednesday.

On the Hats. See? Promo. You don't have commitments outside of this job. I don't care. So it's happening. Next Wednesday, it's happening.

Just because you've got a promo with a lady going, Woo! Doesn't make it official. Doesn't it sound happening too? Like it's happening. Woo! And it's happening.

What I notice about this station is they do love a woo they check a woo and do everything yeah it makes me want to do it

you know it doesn't make you want to do it listen I am 70% there although after 8 o'clock I want to pitch something to you

in order to get me across the line I need a bit of give and take from you I want you to eradicate something from your life oh okay

yeah and it's your rampant your rampant pornography addiction from you. I want you to eradicate something from your life. Oh, okay. Yeah, and it's your rampant pornography addiction. No, no, let's talk about it. No, don't have that. It's getting in between. No, it's not because this is made up. This is slander.

It's getting in between you and me? It's getting in between you and your job? No, it's not. What are you watching right now on your computer? I've got the run sheet

for the show. Oh, get it away. So next week, next Wednesday, 8 o'clock, we're going to start the world's longest Zoom call. Maybe. I haven't signed the release form yet. Celebrities can join us. You can join us.

Anyone can join us. We're just going to keep going nonstop. Like, people can just tag in, tag out, and we'll just keep going. I mean, I get why you're doing it. I get it's tough. It's probably, you know, one of the most memorable things from this whole thing. It probably eclipses the actual coronavirus.

Zoom calls. I never even heard of Zoom calls like about eight weeks ago. I got into a hole yesterday. The guy that founded Zoom, Eric is his name. Yeah. He has made four billion dollars he's made in 2020. Oh, really? Four billion dollars.

I don't know how you make the money off it. I guess when you upgrade over the 40-minute limit, maybe. Yeah, well, that's the only way. Or maybe he's collected so much filth and data on us all that he's got this. Or maybe there's advertising on it, maybe as well. But it goes, like, you're really letting people into your personal space, aren't you, on Zoom? And I don't know what everyone's obsession is with having to see each other. I don't know why

a phone call couldn't justify, but anyway. Everyone loves Zoom meetings, but there's been probably a lot of fails while that's been going on. There was David Benson Pope yesterday. Yeah. Former MP. He's a councillor in Dunedin. He was caught feather dusting. He was feather dusting in his underpants. Yeah, he had

a top on and stuff like that, but he had his underpants. Yeah, and I think he was just cleaning up, you know, in his underpants. Yeah, he had a top on and stuff like that, but he had his underpants, yeah, and I think he was just cleaning up in his office. Shocking stuff. I mean, the most shocking thing is he's dusting. I can't even remember the last time I feather dusted anything. I think he sees the good humour in it, but that's on the internet yesterday.

I don't know if he does, because we tried to get him on the show and his wife said absolutely no way. No, I was reading the article this morning and he says it's good humour. Well, maybe he just doesn't like us. Yeah, I think so. Because you were going to say he was shocking for dusting probably.

Okay, 0800 the hits. We're going to open this up ahead of the pending Zoom marathon, TBC. Have you had any fails on Zoom over the last four weeks? Your wife had one, didn't she? She did. She was talking to a whole lot of her work colleagues and one of the kids came into the room and knocked the computer, knocked the laptop off and it

sort of fell down and they were like, oh, are you showing us your crotch here, Amanda? Oh, it was shooting up, was it? She was like, oh, no, one of the kids knocked the things over, so yeah. She's a teacher. Yeah. So she could have gone, it's biology. Fortunately, it wasn't any students on at the time. It was all just the

other teachers as well. And fortunately, she was wearing pants. But yeah, but one of those situations where it was a Zoom fail. Okay, 0800, that's the telephone number. 0800 843 4487. 4487 is the text. Hey, have you failed on Zoom? Fiona, you're in Auckland.

What did you do? I didn't do anything. I personally just want to say a big shout out to primary school teachers that have to do these Zoom calls with 28 kids all vying for their attention, showing them the cats and the dogs and the rats and just screaming and shouting just to get this in. Even when she mutes them, they've all worked out how to unmute them. I think after this, I think every parent in New Zealand is like the teachers.

Pay them what they want. Pay them double, yeah. I totally agree. Because I'm like, no, go back to school. I've had enough. I can't do this. I've got an 8-year-old and a 15-year-old. So one minute I'm doing 8-year-old maths that's totally different to what I did when I was a kid.

And then all of a sudden I'm in chemistry. And it's like, whoa. I've tried doing it. I'm like, I don't know any of this. I couldn't even pass primary school right now. No, I don't think I could. Thank you, Fiona. Appreciate you listening. Have a wonderful day. We'll head to Toby. Welcome, Tobes. You're on the air.

It's New Zealand's breakfast. You had a Zoom fail? Yeah, I have actually. I was recently, well, I've had this girl that I've really liked for a long time. I've been dating and I wanted to, I proposed to her, but I wanted to get her dad's blessing, her dad's permission before I did. Oh, nice. So I thought that we'd go on a Zoom call together and just ask on there,

but we got busy catching up on pretty much everything. And by the time I finally worked up the courage really to ask him about this really big question, I looked at him in the camera and said, Graham, there's something I need to tell you. And then the Zoom call cut out because it didn't have premium. You had 40 minutes of pre-banter leading up to that. It was a lot to catch up on. We prattled on. Jesus, impressive.

Okay, I'm going to have to send you another link, mate. I've got to go. Send me a question to ask you. Thank you, Toby. That's right. So did you get your permission in the end? I don't know. Ask him now.

Ask him now. What's his name? Graham? Yeah. Graham, ask him now. Toby? Graham, we talked about. Toby? Graham, we talked about a lot on that Zoom call

and there's lots that we do need to talk about more, but if it's possible, can I please have your blessing to marry your daughter Nicole? Graham's just texted and saying no. He hasn't texted either way. So we'll find out. We might find out that cliffhanger

tomorrow. Give us a call tomorrow and find out. If you do get the permission, we'd love to hear back from you. Sure thing. Thanks, Tobes. To Lower Hutt in Wellington. Kate, you're on the air. Zoom fails. Hi. I was on a work call and my toddler came in

and was complaining that he was sick and then continued to throw up all over my lap, all in front of my work colleagues. On the laptop or just the lap? You know both. I had that the other day, and you're driving in the car. There's nothing you can do. They don't know how to turn it off.

It just comes out like a fire hydrant. And it goes everywhere. It's like, just try and control it somehow. My daughter doing that, she's like, I'm reversing, I'm reversing, she keeps saying. Everything was coming out. I'm like, yeah, well, I guess you are, you're reversing. They're like the clown, you go to those fairs and their heads are just tilting side to side. Just vomit just going everywhere.

Thank you so much, Kate. Really appreciate you listening. The world's longest Zoom meeting. It's happening next Wednesday, so make sure you tune in for that one. We'll see how far we can go. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy.

It's John Owen Battle the Hits. Two days without any new coronavirus cases yesterday. So well done, New Zealand. So good. It makes you proud to be a New Zealander, the way that they've handled this. Yeah, exactly. You feel lucky to be in New Zealand right now compared to so many other countries. It's just horrible.

Especially when you're saying New York had 300 the other day and that was considered like... That was 300 deaths. 300 deaths, yeah. That was considered a day that was on the lighter side of deaths. So it's just like, wow. Crazy times, man. Crazy times. Now a lot of people out there are doing great work for New Zealand and they have been given

a lot of praise and rightfully so. Doctors, nurses, supermarket workers, all those sort of people are doing a great work for New Zealand and they have been given a lot of praise and rightfully so. Doctors, nurses, supermarket workers, all those sort of people are doing a great job for New Zealand. Yeah, but you've noticed there's one industry or one particular essential worker that is not getting anything. It's not getting any gratitude and so that's what we wanted to do right now is pay homage to another sector of essential worker. Now in 2020 there have been many New Zealanders who have gone above and beyond to help out our country. Today we have no new cases of COVID-19 to report. The nurses, the doctors. Please tell me that is not your penis. No, no, the real doctors,

Jono. The supermarket workers. Hello, I am Stickman. Uh, no, the non-animated ones. And all of the essential industries. But there are some essential workers who we feel must be saluted. One in particular, Andrew Saville, One News sports presenter. What have we got? Have you got any sports? Yes, I do.

Every single day, this hard-working sportscaster fills TV airtime reporting on something that literally doesn't exist at the moment. Sport. I just wanted to prove that there is still some sport going on. Filling his designated news slots by explaining the days of the week. Yes, it is Sunday and tomorrow's Monday in case you've forgotten. Even resorting to covering competitive Tai Chi.

From the gentle-ish relaxation of surfing to the complete relaxation of Tai Chi. And getting mercilessly mocked by his co-hosts. It started okay, then it plummeted to great depths, and this is the worst television ever, and then it just kind of came back. To Andrew Saville and all of the sports news reading community, you really are good sports. Even if actual sports, sadly, won't be happening for a while. Keha kaha and lots of love from Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, someone email that off to Saville. Have you got his address, mate? I don't have his address. Why email that off to him? Someone tweeted at him. I don't know. How do you get that to Sav mate? I don't have his address I want to email that off to him Someone tweeted at him I don't know

how do you get that to Saville? He'll appreciate that I'll hopefully listen on the radio Andrew if you heard that we mean that you're doing a great job

reporting on nothing Yeah I don't know how they do it night after night I know they do resort to playing like internet trick shots

I notice a lot of internet trick shots and the other day they had these guys that were swinging sort of weights on their bits and pieces Yes on their ghoulies and they are internet trick shots, I noticed. Yes. A lot of internet trick shots. And the other day, they had these guys that were swinging weights on their bits and pieces. Yes, on their ghoulies.

And they are, I got into a hole of researching them, and they are a group of monks, martial artists, and that's their thing. They kick each other in the plums repeatedly. And that's their thing. Yeah.

I even saw a big totem pole swinging on a rope and they pulled it back and there was a guy standing there and it just went, wha-bang, straight into the thing. And he took it like a champ. Took it like an absolute champ. Didn't even flinch. Inside he'd be like, oh my God, that hurts so much. After eight o'clock, Ben Boyce,

will he be taking it like a champ? It's a radio stunt of all radio stunts. I don't know if that's happening. Morning, it's Jono and Ben on the Hets. I don't know if that's happening. Morning! It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. We're just paying a tribute to the essential workers, in particular the sports readers who are, well, they're doing their job reporting on

something that's not even a thing at the moment and someone's just texted in saying hey you buggers, us coal miners are keeping this country going. Hospitals, dairy companies and meat workers need us. Coal is king. You hear that, Greenpeace?

Coal is king. Oh, shout-outs to the coal industry for keeping our country going. And now we've started to flow on. Now we have a shout-out. We're just doing a show of shout-outs, aren't we? Delete all the music, Producer Juliet. We're just going to do shout-outs

to all the essential industries. Sounds good. Now I wanted to put out a bit of a public service announcement. This is probably something that you shouldn't do and I don't know why I did it, but in the weekend I, there was a glass of water on the bench for some reason. I thought it was my glass of water and just had a sip because I was thirsty. Dangerous

game, just drinking a random cup of liquid. I did think it was mine and then my daughter Indy was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, like that. And I was sort of stopped and she was like, my tooth is in there. So her tooth had fallen out and she put her tooth in the glass. In a glass of water. In a glass of water.

To wash all the gunk off it. Yeah, to do a bit of stuff with the tooth fairy, you know, like to get it a bit clean. The last thing you want is to hand a gummy bleeding tooth to the tooth fairy. She turned all those into a house. Like some sort of psychopath. She's got a toothy, gummy smell. Imagine how her house smells.

It would stink. You'd be brushing it. You'd be constantly brushing it, wouldn't you? Brushing your house twice a day. Come stay at my tooth house. No thanks. Come over for dinner.

How about you just come to mine? I've just got like a normal house that's not made of children's teeth. So I was like, hey, don't just drink random glasses of water. It reminded me of a story that you once

told me about your mum. My mum accuses me. My mum said I tried to murder her. When I was a teenager and I fully endorsed this, I was smoking. Big fan of smoking. New Zealand's only pro smoking broadcaster. I know you're joking.

What would your kids say if they heard that right now? They'd be like, Dad, you're embarrassing. That's what they'd be saying. But thanks to British American tobaccos, I'm putting those kids through school. Anyway, my smoking propaganda aside, I was smoking. I don't smoke anymore.

But my fingers used to get quite yellow from the nicotine. Right. And so I'd dip them in bleach in a glass. To hide them from your parents and stuff? Well, just because they stink, you know. They stink and it's not a particularly attractive part of smoking. So you have to take aside all the lung disease and the cancer. What is the attractive part of smoking?

I haven't worked that out, but anyway. I'm struggling to find the strong points. So I'd do that, but then I left the glass of bleach on the bench, and Annie Pryor came in. Did what I did, like just picked up a glass of bleach. Recklessly, and she just started drinking, and I was in the lounge, I could hear this. This is your mum.

You could kill it. Choking, and she came in, and she's like pointing, and I'm like, what, what, what now? What now? And she's like, and she's holding up the glass. I was like, yeah? What now? What now? And she's like, and she's holding up the glass. I was like, yeah, that's Janola. And she's like, you tried to kill me.

I'm not trying to kill you. You tried to kill yourself by drinking a random glass of water. So anyway, she had the cleanest insides in New Zealand. You made it straight. I was Donald Trumping before Donald Trump. True, Donald Trump.

So yeah, not recommended by the way. We're definitely not recommending that one. Stick around though, You made it straight. I was Donald Trumping before Donald Trump. True, Donald Trump. Not recommended, by the way. We're definitely not recommending that one. Stick around, though, because after 8 o'clock on the show, Kiwi stuntwoman Zoe Bell, if you haven't seen her video, it is blowing up the internet. It's amazing. She joins us after 8.

Another text here, commercial laundries. We're keeping the country going. Oh, they are. Let's keep it coming through. Who's keeping the country going? Let's give a shout out. It's still 9. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Jeez, we've made an error in judgement, Ben. We started thanking essential workers and now we've got

into a deep dark hole of other essential workers texting in saying hey, we need thanks as well. We started by paying tribute to the sports reporters who are doing their job

at the moment when there's no sports there. That's right. They're talking about nothing. They're talking about nothing. You'd almost think about cancelling the sports news. Or shortening it a little bit and go, hey, we'll come back to sport tomorrow

when there's a bit more sport being played. It should just be called, Sports News Presents Internet Videos at the moment. But sometimes they Skype to people's houses or reporters. So they're sticking with it. And from then, the floodgates have opened. Obviously doctors, nurses, supermarket workers,

you know, that we pay tribute to them and now we've had all sorts of other texts. The coal mining industry said coal is king. Pay tribute to them. The commercial laundries

have text through saying, give us a shout out. New Zealand farmers have and always will keep this country going, reads one text. Truck drivers, without us, you get nothing. Oh yes, I was thinking about them in the weekend. The truck drivers are driving. Truck drivers, without us, you get nothing.

Oh, yes. I was thinking about them in the weekend. The truck drivers are driving all over the country. Yeah, including this giant can of worms we've opened. We wouldn't have this if it weren't for the truck drivers. All right, 4487, we've opened this up now, so keep the text coming through. Government call centre workers, it's been brutal.

I can imagine. That's what they're saying. Yeah, many, many essential workers, thank you very much for your work you're doing. If you want a shout-out, we can give shout-outs all through the show. I'm going to keep it going. Why not? It's a fun thing to keep going.

Text 4487. We really do appreciate you listening and also the work you're doing for New Zealand right now. Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. And there's no more essential work than reporting on celebrity gossip. Producer Juliette. I'm going to give you a shout-out, Juliette.

I'm sorry. That's all right. I get my own spot on the radio. It's fine. So, Elon Musk has and his partner Grimes have given birth to a baby boy and it has the most interesting name. I mean, there's some

to chase up. There's like Moon Baby and Apple. Apple now at the time was the most, oh my god, Apple. But it seems kind of like just a normal name now. Yeah. For some reason. People are probably used to it a bit more. So Elon Musk, of course, is the Tesla, the owner of Tesla, the multi-billionaire, right?

Doesn't believe in coronavirus as well. Yeah. Good on him. Bit of a problem there. But his son has been called, and the way it's spelt is weird, X. And then there's a Scandinavian letter from the alphabet, and then A12. So the first name is essentially X Ash Archangel.

So that little letter that's a weird Scandinavian letter is pronounced Ash, and A12 is an aircraft with the codename Archangel. Oh, my God. Nightmare when you're filling out your customs declaration card. Why is everything, can you type it on a normal? I don't know. Look at that.

It's almost like it's an A and an E squashed together. Because if he's typing it out, the little guy on his computer, he's going to have to go and change the settings to Scandinavian just for that one letter, then go back to English. Yeah. Poses a lot of problems, doesn't it? I do like it when people name their babies funny things. Like, they just see the first thing they see.

Like, if I was to name you, Ben, I'd be like, laminated paper whiteboard marker table salt. I'd meet my cute little baby laminated paper whiteboard marker table salt. Lambie for short. Bizarre, isn't it? And Bruce Willis,

after spending a month in lockdown with his ex-wife Demi Moore and their three kids, he has finally reunited with his wife. Oh, he's got some explaining to do. That's right. So he ended up with his ex-wife. With Demi Moore, yeah, and their three kids. He has finally reunited with his wife. Oh, he's got some explaining to do. That's right. So he ended up with his ex-wife. With Demi Moore, yeah. And their three grown adult children

in Idaho because he couldn't get back to LA in time. And you said last week that his actual wife was dealing with their children. Yeah. So she was in LA hospital and she's like, you having fun? With your ex over there? Filming your quirky internet videos and she's like, you having fun with your ex over there?

Filming your quirky internet videos and dancing with everybody? You having fun? Yeah, I am. It's quite fun. They seem to be having fun though. I mean, from social media. So, I mean, but you know, who knows what went on there. And for more space.

I'm going to say that they hooked up. I'm just going to go out and say who Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. Well, they have previously, but I don't know now. No, on that thing. I'm just going to go out and say who Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. Well, they have previously, but I don't know now. No, on that thing. I'm just going to throw it out there. No one can get me. We're in New Zealand. No one's going to hear this.

For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. This is the A to Z of New Zealand. We decided if we are New Zealand's breakfast that we need to phone every town in New Zealand. I mean, it's the logical solution, isn't it, Ben? Exactly. And we worked out it's going to take us over two and a half years

to get through the 500 places, towns and cities in New Zealand. This is day three. So far, we've spoken to Ahora on the west coast of the South Island, Ahipara yesterday up north near 90 Mile Beach. Today, I don't know where this is. Ahitihiti. I don't know. Ahititi. Let's't know. Ahi Titi.

Let's go through to them now. Ahi Titi School, Chris speaking. Oh, Chris, Ahi Titi School. It's Jono and Ben from The Hits. Oh, hi. We are on a mission to call every town and city in New Zealand. It's going to take us two and a half years and you're day three. Oh, you're just fabulous, aren't

you? Well, we're not kind of quite a town. Ahi Titi? Yeah, no, we're a place. Okay, oh, a place town. Sorry, we're getting schooled by the person at the school. We're a place. And what's the population of Ahi Titi? Um, ooh, what's the population of Ahi Titi? Uh,

about ten. Can you name all ten people? Yeah, I can name all ten people. Okay, let's the population of Ahititi? About 10. Can you name all 10 people? Yeah, I can name all 10 people. Okay, let's list all 10 people in Ahititi. Oh, Tania, Raymond, Mavis, Morris, Mark, Alex, Grace, Liz, Tony, Seb, Ken, Joy and Gordon. You weren't lying. That is everyone's name.

They're not really in Ahitiki because they're about, you know, 100 metres down the road. They're 100 metres. They're not locals. They're not really. So what's on the cusp of 100 metres down the road? What would the next place be? Well, if you go, if we went about 22 kilometres north, you'd get to Morko. So where exactly is, for those not in the road, what would the next place be? Well, if you go, if we went about 22 kilometres north, you'd get to Morco.

So where exactly is, for those not in the know, and when I say those, I mean me, not in the know, of whereabouts is Ahititi in New Zealand? In the far north of Taranaki. Oh, nice. We are the northernmost school in Taranaki. So how many people would go to the school when it's open?

How many students? Ten. Can you name all them? What are their names? So I guess just one would go to the school when it's open? How many students? Yeah. Ten. Can you name all them? Yeah. What are their names? Seriously. So I guess just one teacher at the school? Is that you? Yeah, well, 1.3.

So are you like headmaster, teacher? No, I'm a girl. I'm a headmistress. Headmistress. Yeah. You're teacher, caretaker. Yeah. No, I'm not. No, no.

We have a local chap who comes and does a great job caretaking. But between me and the office lady, we do everything else. Oh, my gosh. You are a beautiful slice of New Zealand. Well, it is a beautiful slice of New Zealand, actually. And you answer the phone as well. I know. Well, actually, there's only two of us here today because officially we're open, but we don't have any children.

So we're just making a hellish mess by tipping out all the drawers. And we tipped it all on the floor and now I'm sorting it all out, you know. It's been lovely talking to you. What we'd like to do is give you an opportunity to advertise your town or place. Well, look, seriously, come to Ahi Titi. We need some more kids. It's just the best thing since sliced bread. I came here 30 years ago for five minutes and I'm still here.

Oh, well, there you go. So you're just begging for some more kids to teach. That's what we need. Just get someone to buy the farm next door, put a subdivision on. We've been talking about this for years. Double the population to 20? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

A few more names to remember, though. It might be tricky. Well, we can cope. We've been up to 48 kids here, you know. Up to 48? Wow. Are we on the radio? Yeah, this is the hits.

I would have done my hair if I didn't know. You guys have got to, I'm just looking on Google, you've got a lovely tunnel through the hill. We do. We've got lots of tunnels

all around us, yep. Yep, lots of tunnels and birds and the beach is just down the road and it's all fabulous. We just need a few more people. Okay, there we go.

They're begging for children in Ahe Teeheejee. Yeah, we are. But, you know, nice ones to go with the nice ones we've already got. Oh, you sound awesome. Thank you so much for talking to us today. We did have aititi. Yeah, we are. But, you know, nice ones. To go with the nice ones we've already got. Oh, you sound awesome. Thank you so much for talking to us today.

We did have a great day. Yeah, stay safe. We're world famous, Anahititi, now. Put that on a sign. Okay. She's awesome. Tomorrow, where are we going? Ahuroa.

Ahuroa. Again, it's the common theme. I don't know where it is. Oh, it's fine. I feel like we're learning something as we go. My mother-in-law, Cathy, is just texting saying it's where her friend was brought up. Ahi Titi. Oh, there we go.

One of the ten people. One of the ten people. Tomorrow on the show, the A to Z continues of New Zealand. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, before 8 o'clock, we started shouting out to essential workers. And I don't know if you're regretting it Ben or not but it

really just, it opened the floodgates for people to be like, you're missing out this you're missing out the bloody coal miners, you're missing out the truck drivers and it's all fair enough so we collectively decided that we would use the rest of the show to shout out essential workers. Yeah so if you want to keep texting us through

you can do so, 4487 is our text number and of course 0800 the hits is our final. Boys, meat workers are the black bone of this country. Everyone you think is aggressive. They might have been just like, hey boys, meat workers are the black bone. Are they all capitals? Jack from Silver Farms, meat workers.

But everyone sees they're the black bone of the country too. Here, like the truck drivers, the meat workers, the coal miners, truck mechanics. Shout out to the backbone of the country too here. Like the truck drivers, the meat workers, the coal miners. Truck mechanics. Shout out to the farmers of the Hawke's Bay who are doing it tough in the drought. It's come through as well. Mental health workers.

Oh, yeah, they're doing a lot of great work for New Zealand. The home support workers and rest home workers. I mean, we could be... Juliet, whoever's on next after this, I know the show's breakout local. We're going to have to continue on to 5 o'clock and do shout outs

well maybe we can include them in part of the thing I want to do next week oh god here we go the world's longest Zoom meeting so I thought before

you know we while we're still in lockdown let's have one last Zoom video call and let's see how long we can go for so next Wednesday we're going to start

at 8 o'clock and we're just going to keep going which potentially could be the last day of level'clock and we're just going to keep going. Which potentially could be the last day of Level 3. Yeah. And people can just keep Zooming in all day, meeting us about, chatting to us about whatever. You can even give shout outs to your essential service. We'll do it all day long. And Jono,

you're on the fence about this. Oh, it just seems like hard work. For not much return. What's the return you're hoping for here? A bit of chit chat, New Zealand Herald article. What are you after? A bit of fun for people in their bubbles. You know, if it's the last day of lockdown, they can hang out with us and, you know, provide some...

I have been on the fence for 24 hours and I've got an ultimatum for you. Right. Okay, I'll do your little Zoom-a-thon. It's going to be a big Zoom-a-thon. Your little world's longest Zoom meeting, whatever it is. Your little world's longest Zoom meeting or whatever it is. Your little attention-seeking publicity stunt.

Let's not pull back the curtain too much. Trying to get some traction in the market for this new show. It's a crowded market, Breakfast. You know that. It really is. Got to make some noise. Yeah. If you delete your TikTok account, which is the blemish on this show,

Ben Boyce's TikTok account, fully grown adult participating in TikTok. You delete that app and I'll engage in your Zoomathon. All right, I'll delete the app. You delete TikTok? I'll get it off my phone. This is meant to happen on Monday. I won't use it. I won't use it.

It's gone. Gone are the Harry Potter videos. Gone are him dressing up as a horse in a kitchen. Well, they might be still there, but the app's gone. It's off my phone. Okay, look, here you go. I'll have to get Juliet to show me how to do this. Which is another great sign that you shouldn't be on TikTok.

But anyway, it's happening next week. Let's play the promo. The Hey Breakfast with Jono and Ben. During the last five weeks, many things have been part of our lockdown lives. Not getting out of your pyjamas all day, panic buying toilet paper,

trying to work out what happened to Carol Baskin's first husband, and occasionally drinking in the afternoon. Ah, but let's not forget Zoom video calls.

Before we hit level two, we want one last Zoom meeting with the world's longest Zoom call. It's Jono and Ben's Zoomathon. Better upgrade to that thing

that you can go over the 40 minute limit. Starts next Wednesday on The Hits. What's happening? What's happening? Okay, Ben's off TikTok. You can already feel

the credibility soaking back into the show now. I thought we should give it a quick test right now because we don't want to keep going with Zoom meeting after Zoom meeting

as many Zoom calls as we can, like tag in, tag out and go for hours and hours. Well, you've come up with this wayward idea but not looking at any of the technical aspects of how long this can actually go for. So let's do it now. Okay, Producer Juliet, we're going to put a Zoom invite meeting request on our Facebook page. The hits

Breakfast with Jono and Ben on Facebook. If you want the Zoom link, you can text us 24487. One song to get them on. I'll see if your little Zoom thing's going to work. There's a bit of pressure on us. If it falls over now, how are we going to keep going for hours and hours if we can't even get one person Zooming us?

Okay. It's on the Hits Breakfast, our Facebook page. Go there, give it a like, and see if you can reply back to the Zoom. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We've started the Essential Worker Shoutout line. We started this at 7.30 and it has not stopped. Medical equipment salespeople.

Every time you say one, I'm like, yeah. Exactly. These people are doing great work for New Zealand. The corrections officers looking after your family, Ben, in prison. Right, yeah. They need a shout-out too. So if you want to keep texting us through on 4487, we'll give some shout-outs between now and the end of the show,

which is 10 o'clock today. Okay, next week we're embarking on a quirky journey of magical adventure involving the world's longest Zoom meeting because I'm picking it now. I reckon we're going to drop to level two next week. Well, because they say the earliest that could happen is Thursday. So next Wednesday, we're like, well, let's get in at least one last Zoom while we're in lockdown.

Yeah, because we might not need to Zoom ever again. So we are starting at 8 o'clock, and we just want to see how long we can keep going and how long we'll keep going is based around you guys. Keeping Zooming, meeting us, calling us. We'll just keep going. Yeah, like Ben says, if you've got a meeting you need to have, an agenda about what you're arguing over for dinner.

Yeah, we can just chat about whatever you want to do. And we put a link on our Facebook, the Hits Breakfast before, just to see if anyone would actually Zoom us. Yeah, a lot of hinges on this. I'm a technical guy. I'm a details guy. Technically, you want to see if it works. Yeah, I do, because you've come up with this idea

and it might not even be feasible. Well, our producer, Julia, is anyone in our waiting room? We do have a few people. I've clicked admit on the first person. I think they're just connecting through.

Okay, make sure they've got their mic on in their video. This is the thing that I always go back and forth with Annie and John, my parents, about. And it's by the, are you there?

Oh, there we go. Hello. Someone's in the car with it. They've got a dog behind them. Hello, who's this? I can't hear them. Turn your mic on. Turn your mic on.

See, this is what it's going to be two days of this. Well, that's what happens. Hi. Oh, hi. How's it going? Who's this? You were there. She's there.

She's got a dog. I can see her. She's got a dog next to her in the car. Oh, no. Ben, Ben, Ben. Can I pull you aside here for a team talk? Team talk, team talk. Is this how you sort it out?

No. Is this how you sort it out? No. There's internet issues. I'll be in this. Yeah? Okay. How did you see it going?

Let's go to someone else, Bridget. I appreciate someone coming through. I'm going to have to say bye. Okay. I'm sort of going a little bit into this. We're going to have a lot of celebrities joining us. People are going to keep coming through. Yeah, we are.

Look, we've been doing Zoom calls on this radio show for a couple of weeks. It's been going great. In fact, Zoe Bell, Hollywood stuntwoman, is joining us via Zoom in 15 minutes. Who have we got here? I think we've got Susie. She's got no video, but she's connecting to audio.

Okay, well, let's see if Susie can talk to us. Right now, Susie at any stage. Oh, hello, Susie. Hey. Hey, we finally got someone. What are you doing, Susie, at any stage. Oh, hello, Susie. Hey. Hey, we finally got someone. What are you doing, Susie? I'm working in my lounge office. Oh, what do you do?

I work for the Ministry of Education. Oh, well, good. Yeah, you guys, when do you think everyone's going back to school? Give us the official answer. Speak for Chris Hipkins. Oh, well, there's some there already. Not many, but probably a few more next week, let's hope. Yeah, so would Level 2 Thursday, for argument's sake, would that be

officially the start of school for all the students, or if we went to Level 2? Oh, I just could not possibly say. I think they're going to announce this week what Level 2 means, what the new Level 2 means. Maybe it is school, maybe it's not. Well, can I just say our first Zoom meeting for our Zoomathon has involved

a round table about the Ministry of Education. This is the sort of stuff that we're going to get next week on the Zoom. Thank you so much, Susie. You really helped me out there. Probably secured my job for the next three weeks. So the Zoomathon, it's happening next Wednesday. It's happening because we had one

good call from the first one. Can you remember the first one? No, but I remember Susie. She was great. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Next week, we're going to do the world's longest Zoom meeting. It's happening on Wednesday.

We're going to start at 8 o'clock and just keep going. And speaking of Zoom, someone joins us on there now, Kiwi stuntwoman Zoe Bell, not only famous for starring in Hollywood blockbusters, but she's got all her celebrity friends together. And over their cell phones, she's done a virtual stunt fight. It is amazing. It is awesome.

Check it out. It's called the Boss Bitch Video. It's on sites like CNN. It's all over the world. It features Cameron Diaz, Margot Robbie, Drew Barrymore, Scarlett Johansson, Lucy Lawless and more. And she joins us on Zoom. Zoe Bell, how's it going?

I'm good. Why are you wearing blue plastic gloves? I was saying to the guys this morning I read an article and it's got me paranoid about wearing gloves again. I took them off. Oh, really? Yeah. Just for like the general corona of it all?

Just the corona of it all. And I bought a 50-pack of them, so I've committed to them now. Yeah, you are. That's pretty committed. I'm ready for coronavirus and or open-heart surgery I've committed to them now. Yeah, you are. That's pretty committed. I'm ready for coronavirus and or open heart surgery if I need to conduct it. You could share the glove, love.

Yeah, I could. Do you want some gloves? I'm okay. I'm not letting it get inside my head here at work because I feel like it's just, you know, it can get deep and deep. I'm one of those people where I overanalyze it. So I'm trying to be okay. Work's a safe space. Are you a germ person, Zoe? Not at all. No. I'm'm trying to be okay. Work's a safe space. Are you a germ person, Zoe? Not at all.

No, I'm a like eat food off the ground kind of a person, which is... Here's my question about gloves though. Yeah. You're still touching stuff. So if you still touch people with your gloves or your face with your gloves, it's the same. Do you switch out your gloves five times a day?

I've had these for five weeks. Yeah, well, you did. It's not really healthy. I sleep in them, I shower in them, I wipe my bum with them. I haven't taken them off. The skin's slowly rotting off underneath here.

It smells like you've had a cast on in the summertime. We really do appreciate you joining had a cast on in the summertime. We really do appreciate you joining us. You're in the States in lockdown. That must be a really surreal and also scary place to be right now. Yeah, I mean, theoretically. So we accidentally sort of escaped LA. My boyfriend and I were due to go to Vancouver for four and a half months to do a film out there.

And then so we were like, I bought a little house in Colorado last year on a slightly grieving and day drinking whim. One of my best drunken decisions ever. Hold on, you got drunk and you purchased a house? Yeah, I didn't snog a stranger. I bought a house. Which is slightly more regrettable, I imagine. Yeah, I would say so.

My boyfriend appreciated it a lot more, I would say. Last time we saw you, Zoe, and I was a little embarrassed to make you do this. We were filming a silly little sketch for our TV show. And we're in a dingy park in the middle of Auckland City and we made you get changed in the park. For the scene, for the scene. It wasn't like you were getting...

Yeah. It wasn't just like... Can you take that off, please? We didn't have a trailer. We're not like Quentin Tarantino. Yeah, you know, we don't have those sort of, you know. But I had a lot of respect for you that day. I'm like, you're a Hollywood superstar

and you're getting changed in the car park of a... You know, there's a homeless guy shooting up in the corner. Getting changed with homeless guys eating food off the ground, you know. Now, Zoe, we've got to talk about this amazing video you've done during lockdown, the Boss Bitch video. You've got like a whole host of celebrities. It is, someone said the other day, it's the best thing you'll see on the internet all day. And they were not wrong.

It's gone everywhere. I saw it on CNN. You must be just stoked with how it went yeah i mean absolutely so i'd seen a video i didn't come up with the original idea i had a bunch of people sent me this video by french um amazing sort of parkour stunt guys i watched it and i was like damn that's fly i love. But there was only three women in it. And I think like two of the women, one woman was coming out of the shower and got knocked out by the guy accident. I was like, come on, we can do better than that.

And I just had a moment, I was laying in bed watching it and I was like, I could do an all girls one just with like stunt girls. And then I was like, oh, you know, I bet Lucy would want to play. And I was like, I think Tracy Toms would probably, and Rosario would be good. And I just had that like, I'll just reach out, you know.

So I sent out the first email, and the response was so sort of organic and positive. Like, I was sort of orchestrating, but I can't take full credit for that at all. That's just working with good people. No, this is what this interview's about. You taking full credit. Oh, sorry.

In that case, I orchestrated a lot. I wrote it. I just made sure everyone did exactly what I wanted. Now, that's the thing, because you said you reached out to all these people. Is it a big group email situation, like Cameron Diaz, Six at G? I don't know why it should be the Six Cameron Diaz.

It should probably be the first. Or like a WhatsApp group you've got with all your buddies? Or how does it work? With the stunt girls, it was. We kept the actresses separate just because, you know, a lot of, well, they're all quite big names. And so just out of respect, keeping their emails private. No, I understand that.

You can do that big group one where you don't see everyone's emails. You don't want to get the BCC and the CC wrong on that though, right? Oh, no. And I've done that before, so I just avoid it. Did you monetise the video on YouTube? About to. When you reach up to a million you're like surely there's some dollars

surely there's some dollars we've got Zoe Bell with us live from Colorado on Zoom now Zoe you've obviously worked with Quentin Tarantino for many many years now and I respect Quentin's work. Like, the guy's a genius.

But I reckon he'd be one of those geniuses where his admin in his personal life would just be a shambles. Like, his inbox on his email would be in the hundreds of thousands. Doesn't do it. He doesn't do email? No, he doesn't really email. He often doesn't have a cell phone script.

He still writes on a word processor. So it's like, it's for real. How does anyone get hold of him if he doesn't have a cell phone? And he doesn't email. I guess he gets hold of them. I think that's kind of the point. I don't think he wants to be bugged that much. Hey, Quentin, why are you not replying?

And he still has a landline, which I love. Oh, him and me. I'm the only person in New Zealand with still a landline. Well, Zoe, congratulations again on the Boss Bitch video. It is so epic. It's taken the internet by storm. Keep on kicking ass. It's so awesome to see what you're doing overseas.

We are so proud of you here in New Zealand. Stay safe, all right? Well, you guys make me homesick. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Congratulations to Sam Cain,

all black captain, the new all black captain. Well done SC. I like how they've got, you notice they've got all their initials on all the clothing there, don't they?

Oh yeah, they do. I always wonder like the logistics about travelling with 30 men and all their equipment. Like, oh, I couldn't manage that.

That's too much. No, I remember talking to the Sue Mad Butcher, you know, Sue Peter Leach, and he was saying that he used to be the Warriors manager and one of the jobs was counting the players when they got on the bus. And he'd start counting and he said, everyone would start going,

four, 86, 40. Just like, he was like, oh, jeez, it was just the most stressful thing made hard because all the players would just shout out numbers. And we have just been shouting out to essential workers. Speaking of, Kerry Purdy deserves a shout out. He's in T-Dow. Someone said he's the town postie.

He's a share milker. He's on the council. And he's been sorting food parcels. Oh, my God. Is he the only person in T-Dow just running the place? And speaking of small towns. It's the big news. Small town. Can we just give you small towns. It's the big news. Small town.

Can we just give you an open, pull back the curtain there. We tried to come up with like a little. A little catchy. You know how they do it. The fact of the day. Day, day, day. We thought, well, maybe this could be ours. Go again.

It's the big news. Small town. I've ripped off the big news from another broadcaster, James Coleman, years ago. Used to do channels anyway. And I'm just saying, small town. So it'll catch on. I don't know if it's going to. Have faith, have faith.

Today we've got some big news that's been provided by producer Juliet. Yes. So a family bubble is now complete after Lucy the cat has finally returned home after two and a half months. And this is in Tairua. So you told us that before and we're like, oh yeah. And then we went, how long? Two and a half months. Two and a half months.

So a cat came back after two and a half months. That got us interested. Yeah. That's why we're going through to John and Lee Hughes in Taitua. I was half listening to what she told us, Juliet. You always just half listen to Juliet, don't you? And then I went, oh, what, two months? I don't know.

I full listened to you, by the way. Oh, thanks, John. Afternoon, Jon, speaking. It's a miracle. It's a Christmas miracle, and it's not even Christmas time, Jon Hughes. Jon Owen being here from the hits. It's the big news.

Small town. Oh, it sure is. We heard about your cat. It came back after two and a half months. That's the small town news, all right. It's dominating the front page. You know it's about hit CNN and Al Jazeera have started leading with it too for their midday bulletin.

Oh, I'm so pleased about that. So explain the story to us. So what happened? How did the cat go missing and then how did it come back? No, it was sort of hmm, how can I best explain? Oh, hang on. Here she is, the famous lady herself, just waiting to be let in.

That's fine. Oh, did he carry me? John! John's like, we've spent a lot of time saying stuff, but we've ended up saying nothing, and I love it. John, did you get no away and did it come back?

We rang the right person? Well, what happened was that we used to let her out at night time. And usually because she asked, and this was in the middle of summer. She'll come back. She'll come in back through the cat door. Well, she didn't. Yeah. So you must have gone, oh, the cat's gone. I mean, you looked around for it, I imagine,

and then thought, yeah, given up. Did all of those things. And so we put posters out and we added ads in the paper and the SPCA and the local vets. And there she had five kittens. So she was very promiscuous, obviously. Yeah, obviously. So you think this randy cat may have just gone

and sowed wild oats for two and a half months? Well, possibly, but I don't think so, because she was spayed. Oh, OK. So you have no idea where she went to, but she's back. So anyway, in the middle of the night, 10 weeks after she went missing, I hear this, wow, wow.

And it was your wife? No. Hey, John, wow, wow. Anyway, I got up, and of course Lee thought that I was bloody sleepwalking or something, I picked her up and she weighed virtually nothing. And of course, we didn't have any cat food or anything here

because we'd given it all back to the vets and Fetty Anger. Yeah, so she's just made good steady progress since then. Oh, I'm glad. She would have been like, hey guys, I was only away for a couple of weeks, you gave away all my food. Yeah, so she's just made good, steady progress since then. Oh, I'm glad. She would have been like, hey, guys, I was only away for a couple of weeks. She gave away all my food. Yeah, yeah. You moved on.

Do you even remember me? I know. No, it's really good news. So what's news from your neck of the woods? Oh, mate. Mate, we've got nothing. We've got nothing compared to a missing cat. Yeah.

Oh, but there must be something. No, but this is why we phone you. Yeah. We've got nothing compared to a missing cat. Oh, but there must be something. No, but this is why we phone you. We've got nothing to talk about. You're here to fill in the airtime for us, not the other way around. Oh, God, but no, no, one's fair's fair. I've given you our side. Well, listen, can I tell you something about Ben? He's got a rampant gambling problem.

Okay, all right. He's off to the casino every second day. He doesn't need to know this. He's put all of his kids' savings on the line. What a good idea. Hey, John, you're a good sport. You stay safe in your bubble, and well done on the cat coming back. Good stuff.

Really neat to hear from you. Yeah, you have a good day, mate. Okay. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. And, of course, yesterday was day two with no new COVID cases in New Zealand. Second day in a row. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. And of course yesterday was day two with no new COVID cases in New Zealand.

Second day in a row. So well done New Zealand. Yes and well done to us as well Ben, you and me because at 20 past 7 this morning we shouted out to some essential workers, one of those being the sports readers who are reporting on something that is not even there. It's not even a thing at the moment and that started a very slippery slope of

people wanting shout outs in their essential, which we're happy to do. So we've spent an hour and a half doing it. Cleaners and essential workers, bus drivers, essential workers, self-storage staff operators, essential workers. Another text here. Hey, enough about the health workers and stuff. Give a shout-out to all of us international stock and currency traders working crazy hours following the US Dow Jones,

shorting the market, and making crap tons of cash from this downturn. Yeah, baby. So shout out to the international currency traders. Keep it coming through. 4487 is our text number. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits.

Now Mother's Day is on Sunday, and if you want to win Cadbury Rose's hamper and potentially $1,000 then give us a call 0800 THE HITS and we'll give you a word. You've got to call your mum

and you've got to get your mum to say that word in the fastest possible time. Six seconds is the current record. It's a tough time to beat. And just to prove how tough it is I thought we should have a go with one of our mums now, Jono.

Okay. We could ring your mum, Andy. Oh, she... One of her hobbies is hating being on the radio. She doesn't like going on the radio. But maybe she can go on the radio and you've got to get her to say, it's breakfast with Jono and Ben.

Okay. Hello? Annie. Hi. How are you? I'm well. How are you? Good.

What was the name of that show I'm doing again? What show? The show. Annie. You mean your breakfast show? Yeah. What did you call that again? With a hit breakfast.

With who? Well, with you. And who am I? Well, with you and Ben. Yeah, what's my name though? Oh, with you. And who am I? Well, with you and Ben. Yeah, what's my name, though? Oh, come on. Please, Annie, just what's my name? So it would be blah, blah, blah, and Ben on the blah in the blah.

Yes. Don't drag this out, Annie. You know how this goes. Please leave me alone. Please. You're more annoying than the telemarketers that call in the evening. Please leave me alone. Sounds just like a sad person.

Just please leave me alone. Sounds like I've been bullying my mum. Yeah. We'll talk about this off air, Annie. Bye. Love bullying my mum. Yeah. We'll talk about this off here, Annie. Bye. Love you, mum. No, love, he doesn't even say love you, Ben.

No. Gee whiz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.