Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 07 - We Caught Up With Rhys Darby & Also The Man Who Painted Penises On Potholes!

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

You may have seen on your feed pictures of potholes in roads being spray-painted with penises... The man behind this decided to paint phallic images around the potholes, so that the council would fix ...them. We chatted with him about his decision-making! We also caught up with comedian Rhys Darby, who is one of the judges on upcoming show The Masked Singer NZ, debuting Sunday night on Three. Finally, with Mother's Day on Sunday, we gave ourselves a little challenge & called our own mothers. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You too, bro. Jono and Ben. New to your mornings. Friends of Skinny. New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime.
Starting point is 00:00:14 Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. It's Friday the 7th of May. Welcome to the podcast. Love Fridays. I said this morning on the show, it's like the bed ejects me, like a trampoline out of bed, spring into action. You? Yeah, look, it's always, I feel like you had that negotiation with yourself
Starting point is 00:00:35 in that quick little instant. You're a slow riser, though, aren't you? You like to ease into the day. I mean, I get out of bed, but yeah, but I do like having coffee, flicking through the news, just sort of taking my time just to get into it. Takes the time, ease into it. Yeah. Just so you don't rip the plaster off.
Starting point is 00:00:48 No. Hell for leather. I don't snooze the alarm or anything like that. Like I get straight away, I get up straight away, but I do like that, you know. I like to be early for stuff rather than in panic. I like a flustered panic. I like a flustered panic. Just down the road, I'll be there in 15 minutes.
Starting point is 00:01:04 But no, welcome to the podcast Heading into the weekend Today on the show, geez it was quite a fun program Wasn't we? We had Rhys Darby come in He's a wonderful entertainer Rhys the entertainer What would you call Rhys? He is an entertainer, well he's a comedian
Starting point is 00:01:18 But he's also a great actor He's done so well, Rhys Darby Now when you think of all the movies and TV shows he's done so well Rhys Darby you know when you think of all the movies and TV shows he's been in we play a little game that uses just a small portion of some of them
Starting point is 00:01:30 there's been in Jumanji Yes Man with Jim Carrey as The Simpsons he's the voice over of The Simpsons and every now and again
Starting point is 00:01:37 he'd be watching something on TV like I was probably a few years ago the kids were watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates and then the penguin popped up
Starting point is 00:01:44 and it's like ah it's Rhys Darby you know playing the voice of he just you know he appears everywhere yeah he's done really well and I tell you what
Starting point is 00:01:49 he has appeared on this show because he moved from the States back to New Zealand for pandemic purposes and boy we have interviewed the crap out of Rhys Darby we have had him on well this would have been
Starting point is 00:02:01 his 8th or 9th appearance since he's been in lockdown when you get offered a Rhys Darby you don't say no no we never say no. Because it's Reece Darby. They just go, would you like to interview Rua?
Starting point is 00:02:09 And we're like, Darby, yes. We finished that. He's like, because he did a little online series during the pandemic. And we're like, yep, we'll take it. You know, he's doing this mask thing. Yep, we'll take it. He's going back to the States for work, he said. But he's like, you know, you can interview me at the airport too, one last time.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Just one last hurrah. Yeah. I'd love to go to the States, track him down for an interview as well. That would be quite funny. Obviously not that funny. We both stopped in an awkward silence. Maybe that's not a great idea. Okay, but thank you.
Starting point is 00:02:43 We'll wait for the pandemic to ease a little bit and then we'll track him down. I love that awkward silence. Maybe that's not a great idea. Okay, but thank you. We'll wait for the pandemic to ease a little bit, and then we'll track him down. I love that awkward silence. I was trying to think about what else is on the podcast today. Yeah, but in doing so, you created quite a difficult moment for us to navigate our way out of. You did. Okay, a hell of a hole there.
Starting point is 00:02:58 I did. As well as that, Jono has an idea for how we can get The Rock's attention, Dwayne The Rock Johnson. He pitches it to me on the podcast today. You're not fully on board with it. Not fully on board, no. So I've got the weekend to think about it. But see if you're on board when you listen to the podcast.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Don't you want to get on your hero's Instagram account? Is that a dream? But is that the only way to do it? Where's your commitment? I don't know. Anyway, enjoy the podcast. Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Now, Auckland Transport are in a wee bit of a stoush with a road safety campaigner by the name of Jeff Upson. Now, he's going around. There's potholes on the roads and he's basically wanting to get rid of these potholes for people driving safe on the roads. But he's taking an orthodox method to point out these potholes. Yeah he is and Jeff joins us on the phone right now thank you for joining New Zealand's Breakfast No that's all good
Starting point is 00:03:53 Please take this in the right way when we've been teeing up an interview with you we've been chasing you all week, you've been very elusive but everyone keeps referring to you as the penis guy Have we got the penis guy yet? That's what we keep saying to each other. But you've created a brand for yourself now.
Starting point is 00:04:11 I have in a way. It's a little bit of an accident, really. That wasn't the intention. So just to explain for anyone that hasn't read the story or haven't heard about it, what exactly have you been doing? So, well, some of the roads I'm driving on every day, just around my home and between my house and a friend's house or my house and work or wherever I'm driving,
Starting point is 00:04:34 you know, they're just a bit unsafe. They've got potholes, they've got undulation. There's a few spots where I could probably get airborne if I hit it a little bit faster than the speed limit. You know, I haven't tried yet, but some of these roads, you know, they're really overdue for a little bit of basic maintenance. And I'm just trying to highlight that with a giant fluoro green painter. So what you've done is you started out initially, didn't you,
Starting point is 00:04:58 spraying circles around them with green spray paint so the council would know, hey, there's a bit of a divot in the road, so to speak. Yes, yep. And also so that drivers can see it. A lot of drivers have told me, you know, because of my drawing on the road, they've been able to avoid hitting a pothole. And so then the circles weren't getting any traction with the council, they weren't filling in the holes.
Starting point is 00:05:20 So then you took some creative license and attached phallic objects to the potholes. Yeah, I mean, back in 2018, it worked perfectly because I'd complained about 20 times about this huge burnt pothole. And so as soon as I drew a penis on it, it went live on Facebook. And they sent somebody out that day. So they got results. They got results, your unusual method. They got results. They got results. Your unusual method got results. But the council not too happy about your method, saying
Starting point is 00:05:48 it could be dangerous going out onto the road, and they're not too happy with the vandalism, I guess. Yeah, I mean, I do apologise if I have offended people. I mean, I know there's going to be somebody out there who's offended by the word penis or a drawing of a penis, and
Starting point is 00:06:04 I do apologise. I am very sorry, and that's not my intention at all. I'm not trying to upset people. I'm just trying, the only way that I really know, to get that road fixed. The only way I know. Yeah, I mean, calling the council, that's not an option. Yeah, you've gone very light on detail with your artwork as well.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Which is good. It could be a rocket, a space rocket, John Owasemi, on the day. You could say it was that. Yeah, or I could just say it was a balloon and it was a long, shaped balloon with a, you know, it was ready to go to a kid's birthday. Oh, yeah. Like those ones that the clowns make animals out of. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those. Now, the council have been saying that they're threatening you with sort of legal action. What's happening there? Do you know anything about that? Yeah, so I've actually seen the email and that came from the media team at Auckland Transport or the public relations team at Auckland Transport and they've confirmed that Auckland Transport will be prosecuting the culprit.
Starting point is 00:07:05 They haven't specifically named me, even though they know it was me. They haven't named me in that email. And I have already given a formal statement to the police, admitting to drawing on the road. I'm very open and honest about this. I had no intention of lying to the police, so I've been very open and honest. Did the council say in the email it was a dick move, or did they make any puns?
Starting point is 00:07:30 Actually, there was an article I read, it said a dick move for all of the right reasons. Oh, it is? That's a very clever pun. Yeah, because you're doing it with best intentions to help out other people on the roads. Absolutely. At the end of the day, the only result, the end result that I want is that road to be fixed. That's it, really.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Yeah, so it hasn't been a complete balls up, so well done. Listen, keep up to date with your ongoing legal battle with the council. We'll see how that turns out. Yeah, no, I'll definitely let you know. I am optimistic. I'm optimistic that they will just fix the road and that will be the end of it. But to be honest, I am a let you know. I am optimistic. I'm optimistic that they will just fix the road and that will be the end of it. But to be honest, I am a little bit nervous.
Starting point is 00:08:09 I am a little bit worried about, you know, because maybe there's some gale time. I'm not sure. But only time will tell. The best part about this story that I've found is that the drawings, the spray painting, is actually to scale, I understand. No comment. No comment on that actually to scale, I understand. No comment.
Starting point is 00:08:27 No comment on that one. No comment, okay, all right. We're not going to get that exclusive. Hey, well, thank you so much for your time and all the best with your endeavours and your little legal stash that you've got over a very unusual thing. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Hey, thank you so much for having me on the show. I know, isn't it? Yeah, you did that. Yeah. Nah. Yeah, nah. The whole movie. Yeah, nah.
Starting point is 00:08:44 She'll be right, and at the end of the day... Jono and Ben, guy on the show. In fact, we've had him so many times on the show. Too many times, really, for the star that he is. Yeah, I know. We need to put him on the payroll. Rhys Darby, welcome. Hello, back again. Lovely to see you.
Starting point is 00:09:01 It's great because you've been trapped in New Zealand. I always say trapped in New Zealand. You've been trapped in New Zealand. I won't say trapped in New Zealand. You've been living in New Zealand during these COVID months and times. And it's been great. We've been milking you, taking full advantage of access to ReStarby. I see that, yes. I'm looking forward to leaving so that I can have a holiday. We're smoking to you in quarantine.
Starting point is 00:09:20 We're smoking to you on a place up north. We're smoking to you all over the place. Listen, mate, you're in a taxi on your way to your hotel. How's it feel to be in a taxi? Yeah, pretty good. These are quite similar to the other ones, okay? I know. We really have burdened you with a lot of chats.
Starting point is 00:09:34 And we apologise. But we've got you in under really exciting terms. The Masked Singer. Oh, yes. Hugely popular international show. The New Zealand version is happening on 3 and you're one of the judges. Oh, thank God you're telling me.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Did you know you did the show? People are telling me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was really, really cool. Look, I'd seen this show in the States. It's a real family affair. The kids absolutely love it. My friend Ken was on the guessing panel in the American version.
Starting point is 00:10:04 Ken Jong. You guys know who he is. Yeah, from The Hangover. Yeah. So he always raving on about it on social media, always looks like he's having a good time. So I thought, well, all right, I'll do it as well. I want to have a good time too. People haven't seen it before. They have amazing costumes and celebrities in the costumes and we all have to, you know, including yourselves, have to guess who the celebrities are. Yes, and I have no idea. Do they actually keep pretty stringent to that, do they?
Starting point is 00:10:31 Oh, my gosh, yes. You don't see anyone wandering around backstage, you're like, oh, it's such and such. I've never seen such tight security, not since my military days. Yeah, I mean, you can't see them. They're in their rooms and they get escorted. And they put like big sort of blankets over their heads and everything when they get them to the cars.
Starting point is 00:10:50 And they get them in really early before anyone gets there because there's an audience, of course. And so they can't see. And so none of us knew. So it was very tight. In fact, yeah, the New Zealand security at the border could learn a few things from TV3, I think. And amazing costumes too, what I see, with a bit of a Kiwi flavour.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Absolutely. Yeah, that was the fun part because you never know what's going to come out and all of a sudden this giant mower or there's a jellyfish or, you know, and they're sparkly and they're huge eyes. The jellyfish has got these anime eyes. I just couldn't take my eyes off it. I thought the New Zealand version of the mask thing, everyone would just come out in like balaclavas or COVID masks,
Starting point is 00:11:28 you know, medical masks or something. I think once we run out of ideas, that'll happen on season two. It looks awesome. It's on Sunday and Monday night on three. So check it out. It looks like a great show. Are the celebrities genuinely good singers? Yes, they are.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Yeah? Yeah. I mean, so good that you are trying to think, who can be that good and yet I don't know who it is. Oh, really? Yes, they are. Yeah? Yeah. I mean, so good that you are trying to think, who is that? Who can be that good? And yet I don't know who it is. Oh, really? So, yeah. Now, we've got Rhys Darby with us. Before we go, you're obviously on The Masked Singer
Starting point is 00:11:53 this weekend. It's on TV3, but you've been in so many great things over the years. We're so proud of you here in New Zealand. We want to play a quick game called Rhys' Pieces. A little bit of dialogue from some things you've been in and see if you can remember what the movie or the TV show was. Oh, I love memory games. All right, here's the first one.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Rhys Darby, what was this? Right then. Here you go. With the invaluable help of your associates, you must use your complementary skills to return the jewel to the jaguar's eye. Unbelievable. Jumanji, obviously.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Yes, Jumanji. Oh, whoops, that was the wrong day. Hey, come on on I know that one there we go there we go we like to bamboozle you with her play actually speaking of jumanji
Starting point is 00:12:31 can I show you something yes we put our family got the jumanji board game for Christmas you're so good in those movies
Starting point is 00:12:37 it's so good and I all of us have no idea how to play this game the rules are so complicated and I've got the rules here, and I just want to, just because you set the rules in the actual movie.
Starting point is 00:12:49 That's right. Well, the hard thing is you've got to get the thing open. You've got to get the box. The box is really airtight. And you're still trying to get the thing open. That's the first task. There we go. See, I've highlighted what I just want you to sort of decipher there,
Starting point is 00:13:02 Rhys Darby, the rules of Jumanji the board game. Because we've got this, but we've never been able to play it because we can't figure it out. Yes, well, of course, when an enemy card is drawn, it'll have an icon with a number. Now, this number indicates that the number of other players
Starting point is 00:13:13 that will roll with the leader, which is the person whose turn it is. Now, the leader gets to decide which characters will roll with him or her. To win a battle, everyone must collectively roll higher or equal, okay? Right. To the health points, of course.
Starting point is 00:13:27 Yes. Which are on the enemy card. Now, if you win, everyone who rolled gains a token. If you rolled less than the HP, which, of course, the health points, just abbreviated that for you there, which are on the enemy card, the leader loses a life and the board must be spun by the player who actually lost. Oh, it's simple, Jono. Everyone knows that.
Starting point is 00:13:49 What does it say on the instructions here? It says the same thing. It's just on the top of Rhys Darby's head, that. That's exactly how you play that. That's how you play the game. See, there's no images of me on this, so obviously I didn't give it the... No, they put Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson, Jack Black on there.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Yeah, well, they must have been given a little bit of cash on that one. Nothing for the Dabmeister. Ristabi's in the mask. We'll just play this game quickly before we end. He's got to go. But another movie Ristabi was in. Can you remember this one? Guy from corporate's here.
Starting point is 00:14:20 He wants to talk to you. I think it's about all those loans you've been approving. I'm just enjoying the moment. No, that's Yes Man. The Yes Man with Jim Carrey. Another great movie. My first big film. Must have been surreal. Very surreal. I still think about it. Like, for a first film, I would
Starting point is 00:14:36 have liked to have done, you know, maybe 48 Hour Film Festival. But no, straight in the deep end with Jim Carrey. Who's obviously, as a fellow comedian, I mean, you must have loved Jim Carrey for years. Yeah, I love him. He's my idol. And so to work with him and to have him go,
Starting point is 00:14:50 yeah, you're not too bad, mate. It was really going from zero to 100, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a good start to the career. Wow, that's awesome. Oh, Rhys Darby, so good hanging out with you again. Burdening you with another interview with us. That was not a bad one, though, this one.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Hey, when do you leave? Because we'll squeeze a couple more in. Do one at the airport if you could. Bruce Darby, can't wait. The Masked Singer
Starting point is 00:15:10 in New Zealand kicks off this Sunday at 7pm on 3. Try and guess the 12 local celebrities who are inside the costumes. Should be lots of fun and Monday night as well.
Starting point is 00:15:19 To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. I'll tell you what it's a good feeling, finding out to this code that Jono says he's got
Starting point is 00:15:28 that will help us all get rich. It's a code, it's a five digit number. Just say the number then. And all you need to do is, you need to say it out to the universe twice and also write the number out
Starting point is 00:15:39 with your index finger into the air. You're so wacky. Thank you, Juliet. You're not so bad yourself. Thank you. Is he going to tell us? No. Conditions aren't right. You're so wacky. Thank you, Juliet. You're not so bad yourself. Is he going to tell us? No. Conditions aren't right. Conditions aren't perfect. When he's got a secret or something, he just kind of lords
Starting point is 00:15:52 it over you. It's not perfect. It's not perfect. We want times. I can tell you're not feeling settled. Your tummy's not settled yet. I can tell you're not relaxed, Juliet. You're looking near. Times aren't right. It's not right. It will happen, though, before 8 o'clock. I hope it happens before Mother's not right. It will happen though before eight o'clock. I hope it happens
Starting point is 00:16:05 before Mother's Day and now Mother's Day of course Sunday and we thought on the show this morning can we do this now? Is it? Can we do?
Starting point is 00:16:12 Yeah Mother's Day if the conditions are right for a Mother's Day reference yeah. So we thought we'd play a little game right now with both of our mums. We'll do your mum Annie
Starting point is 00:16:20 lovely Annie now and maybe my mum Jenny a bit later on the show. We'll give Jono a word and he's got maybe 30 seconds to try and get his mum Jenny a bit later on the show, will give Jono a word, and he's got maybe 30 seconds to try and get his mum to say that word on a phone call. Now, the problem is, as soon as my mum Annie knows she's on the radio, she's going to say no words. She hates being on the radio.
Starting point is 00:16:37 It's up there with one of her most loathed things, along with people who don't have manners. Annie hates being on the radio. I'll tell you what, I've just thought of the word that I'd like your mum to say. Now, you've often claimed that your mum says the pizza franchise Domino's as Domino's. Yeah. Now, I want to see if she,
Starting point is 00:16:54 without too much prompting from you. Oh, if I've made this up. If you've made this up or not, or if in fact she calls it Domino's. Because it sounds very fancy. It does, yeah, I know. But I mean, I'm sure you lived on Domino's, did you, when you were a student, Juliet?
Starting point is 00:17:05 Absolutely, the greatest pizza ever. Don't they do like $2 pizza or something? Yeah, okay, so mum's the word. I have 30 seconds to try and get Annie to say Domino's? Yeah, yeah. Okay, we'll start the timer as soon as she answers, Juliet. We'll go through now. Heading through to Christchurch.
Starting point is 00:17:34 Hello? Annie! Yes? How are you? Good, thank you. It's me. I know. What are you doing? Your number didn't come up. Oh, hey, now, I was going to get pizza tonight. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Now, what were the major pizza outlets that you know? How do you mean, the major ones? Yeah, who are the big players? I don't know. Pizza Hut. That's what you get, isn't it? Yeah. And then what else is there?
Starting point is 00:18:11 Well, we get them from the Mediterranean, but that's not... That's like Christchurch. There's another... What other mainstream major... Burger King. Burger King? No. Well, Burger King doesn't make...
Starting point is 00:18:27 Jay, I don't get pizza. No, but if you were to order pizza and you weren't going to go to Pizza Hut and you weren't going to go to Hell Pizza... Oh, there was Hell Pizza. That's the one I was thinking of, yes. Yeah, no, but then you'd go to... Where else would you go? Domino's.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Domino's. It's Domino's. Annie. Yeah? It's me. Domenos Domenos Annie Yeah It's me Yes And I never know how to wrap up a prank call No It's Ben and me Yes
Starting point is 00:18:57 Yes, yes, she's aware of that Oh look, we were just trying It's Mother's Day on Sunday, Annie Yes Yeah Can we just explain it all to her? of that. Oh look, we were just trying, it's Mother's Day on Sunday, Annie. Yes. Yeah. Can we explain it all to her? And we're playing a game called Mum's the Word.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Right. Yeah. And your word was dominoes. It's dominoes. Yeah. It's actually, it's dominoes.
Starting point is 00:19:20 The what? The, sorry, what did you say? It's dominoes. I'll turn down national radio. I wonder if she's listening to a better radio station. Thank you, Mum.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Happy Mother's Day. Oh, I don't know what you want. Why did you call? She's like, I just turned down national radio for this. Why? I don't know. Why are you listening to the hits? Well, I like national radio.
Starting point is 00:19:48 I love you, Mum. Bye. She never says she loves you. No, never. Say you love me, Annie. Well, I put that in my Texas. I do it as you be. Yeah, she does.
Starting point is 00:20:00 She does. Bye. Bye. Bye. There she goes. She never says she loves you. No. Out loud. Puts it in Texas. Yeah. But does. Bye. Bye. Bye. There she goes. She never says she loves you. No. Out loud.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Puts it in Texas. Yeah, but won't say it publicly. Come out and say it publicly for once. Let the public know that you love your son. Watch you hiding. Yeah. Anyway, happy Mother's Day to all the mums out there. Yeah, I hope you have a great day.
Starting point is 00:20:21 We apologise in advance. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this. Sorry you've been dragged into this. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the heads. The heads. The heads.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Of course, it is Mother's Day on Sunday, and, you know, make sure you remember that. Is that like a threat? It's basically for me as well, to make sure I remember that. Write it down in your notes in your phone or something, mate. I'll do that. That's where I write everything else. We down in your notes in your phone or something, mate. I'll do that. That's where I write everything else. We've been playing a fun little game all morning, though.
Starting point is 00:20:48 It's Mums the Word, and basically we call our mothers, and we've got to get them to say a particular word. Just after 7 o'clock, Ben, I've spoken many times about my mum referring to Domino's as Domino's, the pizza outlet. And so you tasked me with trying to get Annie Pryor and Christchurch to say this word. If you were to order pizza and you weren't going to go to Pizza Hut
Starting point is 00:21:11 and you weren't going to go to Hell Pizza, where else would you go? Domino's. Domino's. Domino's. Now, it's your turn. Mum's the word with Jenny. Now, Ben calls his mum maybe three times a year.
Starting point is 00:21:30 And two out of those three radio content. That's right. And it's the present every mother wants for Mother's Day is to be part of a radio prank call. So what do you want me to say? What do you want me to get my mum to say? Well, I know you had like a sexy negligee as a comfort toy, didn't you, when you were younger? Oh, yeah, I did.
Starting point is 00:21:48 I used to take a petticoat, you know, to bed. It was like the thing I liked, the feel of it, the feeling petticoat, I used to call it, and take it to bed. Okay, well, okay. Then why don't you just try and get Jenny Boyce to say the feeling petticoat. Is that the name?
Starting point is 00:22:00 That was the name that I gave it. Do you remember the name? Yeah, well, I'm sure she'll remember that name. Let's go through. Jenny Boyce. Cell phone. Hello, Jenny speaking. Oh, hey, Mum.
Starting point is 00:22:15 How's it going? Oh, hello, sweetheart. Good, thank you. You're all good? I'm good. I'm good. I'm surviving the deep south. Oh, yeah. Cold. Sorry, just a real quick question. What'm good. I'm surviving the deep south. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:25 Cold. Sorry, just a real quick question. What was the thing I used to take to bed? What was it called? When I was a kid, when I was a little kid. Oh, you're not talking about the cute little petticoat. What was the name of that? Yeah, what was the name of the petticoat?
Starting point is 00:22:39 I can't remember what I used to call it. I didn't know that you had a special name. Neither did I, Jenny. This is news to me as well. What was the special name? What was your special name? Mummy. Mummy.
Starting point is 00:22:54 What was mummy? I didn't take mum to bed. You were sucking on... No, it was a feeling petticoat. It was a petticoat because it felt nice. It was a feeling petticoat. Yeah, that's what I was looking for. I didn't know that you had another name, but it was a special name.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Well, that was the name. Let's not make this sinister. Did he have a special name for it? Maybe it was just for you, you and the petticoat. Maybe the wider public, like your mum and me, never knew it. Oh, crazy. Have you still got it, your burning petticoat? You gave it back to me a couple of years ago.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Oh, yeah, your 21st or something. Yeah. A couple of years ago. Now, Jenny. Yes, darling. Jenny, just hearing the pure joy in your voice when your son called. Oh, hello. So happy.
Starting point is 00:23:41 Now you realise it's a part of a radio bit. How disappointed are you? Oh, well, look, hey, you've got to have crumbs when you can get them. You never know. Yeah. This counts. This counts. This counts. I heard about the Deep South. She's in Hector
Starting point is 00:23:57 at the moment. Very cold down there. It's a sunshiny now. It's going to be a beautiful day. Where is Hector, if you don't mind me asking, Jenny? It's not far frominy now. It's going to be a beautiful day. Where is Hector, if you don't mind me asking, Jenny? It's not far from Westport. It's on the west coast of the South Island, and it's a beautiful little village. Hey, well, Jenny, happy Mother's Day to you.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Oh, thank you, my friend. It's nice to hear from my son. There's a real bonus. Thank you. No, I say, just like what Jono said. Jono threw a lovely heartfelt message to you. Oh, thank you. I love you guys. Love you, Jenny. See you. No, I say, just what Jono said. Jono threw a lovely heartfelt message to you. Oh, thank you. I love you guys.
Starting point is 00:24:27 See you. Bye. How come I was the only one who said Happy Mother's Day? It's just your role. I love you guys as well too. I'm like an adopted son. Want more Jono and Ben?
Starting point is 00:24:39 You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now the one thing that small business doesn't need now, Ben, is a long weekend, okay? So don't start trying to flout all the time. Maybe if I say that enough, we'll get a long weekend.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Do you... I just want to talk about your relationship with your ID, your identification. Okay. Because, you know, the older and older I get, the less and less I get asked for ID, you know, and it's kind of, last night I was in a situation where I was in a shop and the young gentleman
Starting point is 00:25:17 in front of me, he was asked for ID. And then I could see, I came up with a big smile on my face. Oh, here we go. And I could, and the guy looked at me, and out of pity, he said, oh, have you got your ID? And I could tell it was just to make me feel better about the situation. And I was like, oh, mate, I know you.
Starting point is 00:25:40 This is flattering. And then I held it out there, and he kind of looked. He's like, oh, geez, okay. He's a bit younger than I thought he was yeah I had that a while back the last time I did get asked for ID
Starting point is 00:25:50 and I felt yeah I felt quite good about it I was like oh that's good and then the person looked at my ID and then go and they went
Starting point is 00:25:56 oh I couldn't have got that more wrong I was like I said that out loud and I was like oh okay but it's funny like the life stages you go through with ID,
Starting point is 00:26:06 you would have had this. When you're younger, all you want to do is appear older and so you forge an ID. Yes, and then you get your ID and you're like, yes, I'm in a prime. And then you flaunt that round because you're old enough to enter wherever you want to enter or buy what you want to buy and so you flaunt that round with pride. And then sort of in your late 20s,
Starting point is 00:26:24 you start to get grotesquely offended if anyone asks you for ID. Well no and then you've also got the stage in between that where you're kind of like yes I no longer get asked for ID because I don't look super super young and so I've started having that now. Some people ask me for my ID, some people don't. So you're loving it at the moment. I'm like, but then I'm also like now that that's sort of sunk in I'm like damn I'm getting old.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Yeah. Well, then from your 40s, basically the only time you ever get asked for ID is when you're pulled over by the police. Get your ID as well. Or the St. John's ambulance officer needs to know who they're trying to resuscitate. That's your blood type.
Starting point is 00:27:04 So it's a depressing relationship you have with the identification, isn't it? I even had it on a small scale. It just reminded me of last night because I said I took my daughter's ice skating. And this guy came up and he's like, hey, I seen you guys out there on the ice. Would you guys like to sign up for ice hockey? And we're doing free. And I was like, wow, I didn't know I was that good, but all right. And he handed over the card and it said ice hockey free, you know, Thursday nights, ages 8 to 14.
Starting point is 00:27:27 I was like, oh, okay, well, it's clearly not for me. But I got quite excited about it. He's like, no, mate, you're in the senior citizens. But that's also free at a discount. Bring your gold card. Morning, this show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Time to get rich quick.
Starting point is 00:27:44 What for? Well, I don't know. You've been saying all morning you've got a code. You're going to tell us the code? Ah, the code. Can you please tell us now? The code. The wonderful code.
Starting point is 00:27:54 No, not yet. It's a five-digit number that if you say it a couple of times to the universe, you shall be greeted and rewarded with riches aplenty. But now's not the time because Ben don't you sigh don't shut your eyes and sigh because people might not be ready for it they need to get a pen and paper they need to tell their family
Starting point is 00:28:15 hey get ready we're about to be rich you need to prepare within the next 10 minutes I'll see okay what are we going to do please welcome Dwayne the Rock Johnson Dwayne Johnson Dwayne the Rock do? Please welcome Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne the Rock Johnson. For 10 years, Dwayne the Rock Johnson has been Ben the Pebble Voices
Starting point is 00:28:31 hero. He inspires me. Now, Ben's challenge. Can he get on Dwayne the Rock Johnson's Instagram? Yes, I am trying to do a favour for my dear, dear friend. Are you? Make a dream come true. I thought at the start you were doing a favour and I was on board with this idea, but now I've started to question it the more we get into it. No, he's like, after the show, he's like, are you mocking me? Is this whole thing mockery?
Starting point is 00:28:55 No. I'm not. Why would I mock you? I don't mock you. Anyway, so... It's bullying. So Dwayne The Rock Johnson, yes, he's a hero of mine. I love Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
Starting point is 00:29:08 And I had been saying for a while that he posts videos and photos of people enjoying his tequila on his own social media. I was like, that'd be cool to get on there. Yeah, so we ordered some tequila. Millennial Mac spent, honestly, a month and a half ordering tequila. You couldn't, you know, due to duty and customs and stuff. Some places don't sell alcohol and then send it over. It was a nightmare. Anyway, we went to the back blocks of Eastern Europe
Starting point is 00:29:34 and managed to acquire a couple of bottles from a Russian entrepreneur slash international drug lord. So we've got these bottles here, two bottles of it. So you have the tequila. So now we've got these bottles here, two bottles of it, so you have the tequila. So now we've got the props. We just need to get you on Dwayne the Rock Johnson's Instagram account. So you want to film a little video with me
Starting point is 00:29:53 or the two of us with this tequila somewhere in there and you've been asking for suggestions and this has moved my throat. I'm like, well, a lot of these aren't fun for me. No, they're not. And we... The wind was taken out of our sails yesterday because we spoke
Starting point is 00:30:05 to Kate Roger, who has been in the room with Dwayne the Rock Johnson five times she's met him. And she kind of... She put me off a little bit. Yeah. You guys have got to kind of understand and appreciate for how much one
Starting point is 00:30:21 single Instagram post from the Rock is worth. I heard a rumour that built into some of his contracts for his films, he has a certain number of Instagram posts he will make about Hobbs & Shaw, he will make about whatever film he's currently in. And it's worth a million US per Instagram post. So I went, wow, that's what I did. And I think you smiled at me, didn't you? You smugly smiled at me.
Starting point is 00:30:47 You're like, this is never going to happen, but we're pursuing it. So we threw it out to social media. We threw it out to you. What should Ben do with this tequila in the video that we send to Dwayne the Rock Johnson to put on Instagram? And the votes have come through, my friend. Okay, what's happened? I'm going to front it, front foot it, and say, we've seen it before, we'll see it again.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Oh, no, I think I know what you're going to do. It's tried and true. No, I don't want another tattoo. You're going to say tattoo, aren't you? No. What if I said tat? The people have voted. They're like, get a tat
Starting point is 00:31:25 of Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Have a sip of tequila while you're getting the tat or whatever. He's going to put that on. There's a reason why tattoos get results in radio. They get attention. You know it's going to work. Your dream will come true. It's a big commitment.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Oh, isn't it? The only thing Dwayne the Rock Johnson is going to be doing fast and furious is posting that video onto his Instagram account. I thought we were past this sort of thing, though. No. The old John O'Byrne might have done like a tattoo. Yeah, but every now and then you go, a leopard doesn't change its spots. Tell you what doesn't change either, a tattoo.
Starting point is 00:31:59 So I've booked in a tattoo artist. When? For Monday. It's my artist, Fabian. You know the same guy who drew a dog smoking a cigarette on my chest? He will do your tattoo. Okay? Can I think about this?
Starting point is 00:32:12 No. Yes, I'd like to. Do you want the weekend to think about it? Yeah, well, that'd be nice. I was thinking a few hours, but the weekend would be good, alright? Okay, Monday morning, I want an answer. 7am. Okay. If not, the dream's over, I'm smashing the tequila. We'll find out
Starting point is 00:32:27 if that's happening. Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office those two. Jono and Ben New Zealand's breakfast on the hits Bang on 7.45 and it's time to hopefully give someone some money. 5 words for 5k on the hits You're only 5 words away from a massive
Starting point is 00:32:43 payday. Listen, we had a meeting yesterday. We had a team meeting yesterday, and we've been dragging this thing out too long, okay? Well, don't drag it out by talking about how long we've been dragging it out. Let's just get to it. We've been milking the drama for too long. Your chance to match your five words with our five words, and you can get $5,000 cash.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Let's go to Gemma. She's in Palmerston North. We have a wonderful affiliation with Palmerston North. Gemma, how are you? Yeah, good, thanks. Made in yourself? Yeah, good. We are on a mission, too.
Starting point is 00:33:12 We want to fix your town clock. You know, the one in the centre of town? It's got the wrong time on all four faces. Yes, yes. Well, hopefully twice a day it might show the right time. Yeah, but we want to get down there and we want to reset that clock. We want to do that for Palmerston North,
Starting point is 00:33:27 but we'll talk about that at another time because we don't want to drag this out. Yeah, right now, Priya. Okay, if anyone's listening from management, you know who's definitely dragging this out. All right, Gemma, your chance to see one of us into the soundproof booth. You've got Jono Baird or producer Juliette. I'll pick Ben this morning.
Starting point is 00:33:45 Oh, there we go. This is 5K Friday, ladies and gentlemen. That's what I've labelled it. I haven't got the official marketing assets for it just yet. We'll get the billboards out. But you could win five grand going into the weekend, Gemma. That would be pretty sweet. All right, let's do it.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Five words. And the first word that comes into your head when I say brows, not as in browse the internet, B-R-O-W-S, as in eyebrows. Well, probably eyebrow. Well, I kind of gave you the answer on that one. You kind of did. Yeah, yeah. No, that was my bad.
Starting point is 00:34:23 It's well done, Jonathan. Would you have had eyebrows too, Julie? Yeah, I actually would have gone that before you said it. Second word, iceberg. Maybe Antarctica? I had something else, but I won't tell you what it is because I've already given you one. Yep. Paw. P-A you one. Yep. Poor.
Starting point is 00:34:46 P-A-W. Dog. Moisturiser. As in... Moisturiser. Uh, face? And the fifth and final word for Gemma to win $5,000 and send Palmerston North into an absolute frenzy this morning.
Starting point is 00:35:07 City. City. I'll have to go with Palmerston North. Palmerston North City. Well done on the five words. We'll get Ben Boyce out of the soundproof booth. Come on, you skinny little devil. I love it when he emerges from the soundproof booth.
Starting point is 00:35:25 It's like opening a present at Christmas time. How are you feeling, mate? Feeling all right. That was quick, Jono. That was good. I was worried you were going to take too much time on the game, but I wasn't in there for long. All right, Gemma.
Starting point is 00:35:36 She did well. She matched five words with her five words. Now, the problem being that you need to get your five words to match with her five words to win $5,000 cash. No pressure. No, no pressure. There's a lot of pressure. I'll tell you what, I am www.excited.com about this
Starting point is 00:35:52 because I think we're going to have a Friday winner. Oh, don't say that. I've already branded it 5K Friday. Just get on with it. Get on with it. First word, brows, as in eyebrows. As in what? I'm trying to differentiate
Starting point is 00:36:10 from browse the internet. Can I say eye? Well done. Thank you. Is that what it was? I found that a really hard thing to explain. Just spell it out next time. Sorry, Julie. We'll talk about this after the show.
Starting point is 00:36:26 You're going to give me all the answers? Because then it can be 5K Friday. Second word was iceberg. I've got two. It's popped into my head. Should I talk that out? I don't know. Do you want to?
Starting point is 00:36:41 Because potentially when you do this, you give the answer and you get the wrong one. Okay, I'm going to lock in Lettuce What was the second one? Titanic No Neither of those
Starting point is 00:36:53 What did you go Gemma? Antarctica Antarctica Of course What a loser you are Ben Word number three was poor P-A-W Patrol
Starting point is 00:37:02 Moisturiser Face And city Word number three was poor. P-A-W? Patrol. Moisturiser. Face. And city. Oh, there's lots of options. Gemma, you were from Palmerston North. Can I go Palmerston North? Three out of five.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Sorry, for poor Gemma, you said? Dog. Dog, yeah. All right, listen, them's the breaks. That's what happens. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but I tell you what, you're always winning, Gemma, because you live in Palmerston North and you go and have a great weekend.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Yeah, you too. Thanks, mate. Two dads just trying to fill some airtime. Some might say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us. That is the main thing. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Bye. Thanks to HP, who have launched Instant Ink,
Starting point is 00:37:48 New Zealand's first at-home ink subscription service. All righty, it's time to hand you over now to the most professional part of this shabby operation. Producer Juliette, what's going on in Spy this hour? So Megan and Harry's son, Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, has celebrated his second birthday overnight. 6th of May was his birthday. No photo release, which is traditionally what the royals do,
Starting point is 00:38:13 and I'm desperate for a photo of Archie. Well, just Google a baby and then you'll be satisfied. Yeah, true. But instead... Do you know the other day we met producer Humphrey's baby when we were out, little Dorothy. And Juliet, you weren't there, but you were like, send me a photo, send me a photo. And Dorothy had left at that point. So Ben was like, take a photo of your face close up and go, cute baby, eh? I literally got such a fright when I saw it.
Starting point is 00:38:37 I was like, oh God, I wasn't expecting to see that. Yeah, it was a real close up shot of my big ugly face. I'm sorry. Giant baby, giant baby. But instead, to celebrate Archie's birthday, they have encouraged people to donate money to COVID relief funds so that people in countries that need it can get vaccinated, which is very wholesome of them.
Starting point is 00:38:56 That's nice. Thanks, Megan and Harry. Yeah. Yeah. Was that... No, it was not. It was nice. Why does it sound...
Starting point is 00:39:01 It sounded really sarcastic. Well, no, it was like, thanks, Megan and Harry. It was good. No, it wasn't like, thanks again. It was like, thanks, Megan and Harry. No, it was like, thanks Megan and Harry. No, it wasn't like, thanks Megan and Harry. I've changed the tone. Yeah, you've changed the tone now after we called you out for it. Thanks Megan and Harry. Yeah, that's better.
Starting point is 00:39:14 Well done, well done. Thanks Megan and Harry. So, happy second birthday to little Archie. I'm with less eye roll. No, it's good. It's a lovely message. So, who's listening to them nowadays? What do you mean? Are we all listening to them still?
Starting point is 00:39:28 Meghan and Harry. Now that they've fully left the royals. I feel like the public interest will still be there. Still there? Yeah, still there. They're going to do a reality show, surely. Oh, surely. Keeping up with it.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Oh, they need to, eh? That would be so good. Running with the royals or mixing it with the... Markles. Yeah, mixing with the Markles. That's not good, mixing with the Markles. Ming it with the Markles. Yeah, mixing with the Markles. That's not good, mixing with the Markles.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Mingling with the Markles. Yeah, but they're not other than the Markles. Hanging with Harry. Oh, hanging with Harry's good. What are they,
Starting point is 00:39:53 Windsors? Yeah, technically, technically, sort of. Winging it with the wind, anyway,
Starting point is 00:39:58 we'll do it. They're Sussexes. True. Oh, yeah. Soaring with the Sussexes. Oh, yeah. Soaring with the sucksers. Oh, yeah, that's good. Hey, we'll do this, but I'll tell you what, we'll offline this,
Starting point is 00:40:09 and we'll pick it up after the show. That's not the best thing on radio, is it? A brainstorm? No, no, no. And when Bill Gates and his wife Melinda announced their divorce, on that same day that they announced it, he transferred nearly $2.4 billion worth of stocks to Melinda on that day, which included 25 million shares of Coca-Cola,
Starting point is 00:40:30 a bunch of shares in a Mexican broadcaster, which was kind of interesting. I don't know why. So these are shares that he owns. Yeah, he owns and he's kind of transferred them over to her so she can keep them and they can keep growing, basically. Oh, wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:42 That seems like a really amicable... We love saying that word. Divorce. Yeah. So... It sounds like maybe this was all arranged before they went public with it. Like in terms of a divorce settlement. Gotcha.
Starting point is 00:40:55 You get this, you get this. On the day of the divorce, we do this. They had exactly the same press releases, I guess, on their social media. They rolled it out like a new Microsoft system or something. Just flawless. Flawless release. 100%.
Starting point is 00:41:08 Great PR campaign. And then they had control, alt, delete, and shut the relationship down. And that is five. For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Experts in semi-accurate, half-remembered information. Vaguely known information, but maybe not correct. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Talking a little bit this week about Bill Gates from Microsoft
Starting point is 00:41:29 and his wife Melinda breaking up after 27 years. Just read a pretty good social media tweet explaining the reason why they broke up. Melinda Gates was fed up with PC culture. That was quite good. That was quite good. That is beautiful Speaking of good little things
Starting point is 00:41:47 I wonder if she'll go Apple now The whole time she's probably like Oh I just want to use an iPad Well someone said that the other day That was another great tweet I bet she's buying up large In an Apple store right now I saw someone say that
Starting point is 00:41:58 Bill Gates is recently single And then the Queen is also recently single So imagine if they got together She's like 99 isn't she single and then the Queen is also recently single so imagine if they got single. She's like 99 isn't she? Punching 30 years above is I suppose you could. Speaking of people sending
Starting point is 00:42:16 you things from the internet, your parents, Producer Juliet, love to send you something. Yeah, so we have a family WhatsApp chat. I love it when the parents discover WhatsApp because they document everything to the whole group. Look, Dad's made a roast chicken. There's a
Starting point is 00:42:31 photo of Dad pulling out the chicken from the oven. Yeah, it's very entertaining but a trend that I've noticed in our family WhatsApp group is that my mum will send top tips and my dad will send dad quotes of the day. And every time mum says, oh, top tip, I just think of tip top ice cream and then I get hungry.
Starting point is 00:42:51 But some of the ones that she's sent are just such motherly sort of things. You were reading them out yesterday. It sounds like they come straight from a self-help website. This is for you and what, your other siblings as well? Yes, yes. And just my immediate family. Top tip, when grilling in the oven never fully close the oven door
Starting point is 00:43:09 as the grill is so hot that you may have a fire or at the very least burn your dish. Top tip, dad was not aware. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Why would they invent ovens that you can't just have the door shut when you're using them? Yeah, I know. See this is why I'm not sure if mum's checked her facts. It feels like that would be a huge fire hazard anyway.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Yeah. I do vaguely remember back in the day, parents go, leave the door open. But now I'm sure technology's moved on. Surely it's fine. Leave the oven door shut. Yeah. Maybe our oven is just too hot.
Starting point is 00:43:36 Top tip. Dad was not aware that one should always stand up when someone comes into the room when you're at someone else's house or if they come into your home. It makes people feel respected. Yeah, no, standing up's a big thing, isn't it? Top plant tip.
Starting point is 00:43:50 Put six cubes of ice on a plant once a week and it keeps it looking good. Thanks, Mother. That's quite good, though, eh? Yeah, pretty good. And then top tip. If you need to cough and do not have a tissue, it has been advised to cough into your elbow. Thanks, Mother.
Starting point is 00:44:05 We learned that a year ago. Wasn't there a top tip you were reading out yesterday about how you should post your online content to keep everyone interested in it? Oh, yes. It was top tip. When sharing a post on Facebook, always write the reason why someone should watch you
Starting point is 00:44:20 what you've shared or read what you've shared because otherwise they'll just scroll past. Yeah, I love it that your parents are trying to teach their millennials how to use social media. I'm just trying to teach my parents not to turn the phone off every time they use it. So you're doing better. Well, there you go.
Starting point is 00:44:35 The joys of group comms, eh? I know. So good. So good. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben. You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is the B**** News.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Thank you for that friendly reminder. It's like my calendar. It's kind of an audio version of a calendar. Oh, it's good to know these things. And it's also good to work out these headlines. These are actual news headlines from around the world. Some of the more unusual news that producer Julia has found. She's beeped out a word and we have to guess what that word is to make up the headline.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Belgian farmer accidentally moves. I'm going to say Belgian farmer accidentally moves judges on a reality show to tears, you know? It's one of those contestants that comes on, you're like, they're never going to do well, and then they... Yeah, and then motion music starts. Every time, you know what's coming, but you fall for it and you love it.
Starting point is 00:45:29 Oh, that's good. I'm going to say Belgian farmer accidentally moves Madagascar DVD, taking on board the theme song, I like to move it, move it. One of my favourite theme tunes. I was like, this was a long runway. It was a long play for that. Yeah, that was great, that was great. Belgian farmer accidentally moves French border.
Starting point is 00:45:47 So he lives on the border of, obviously, France and Belgium, and there's a stone that marks the border, and it got on his tractor's way. So instead of going around the border on his tractor, he stopped, got out, moved the little, it's almost like a concrete block, and moved it just to keep driving. And the Belgian mayor of that little town was very stoked.
Starting point is 00:46:09 They were like, we've made Belgium bigger and France smaller. We're happy. Google's going to have to readjust the maps. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that's a big claim. If I was him, I'd be like, yep, I'll move the border. Isn't there, like, the border between Mexico and America? I know Donald Trump, he's going to put a wall up. I think he did build
Starting point is 00:46:26 some wall. He did, you know, partially the way, but then they can just walk around the wall now, so it's but you can just literally walk between the two, can't you? Well, I think in some places you can, in other places you can't, depending where it is. You can't walk between the two because then they arrest you, don't they? Well, you're not meant to. No, yeah, but you could.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Um, yeah. If you dress up as a bush or something. And the next news story. Japanese town spent COVID relief funds on building... I'm going to go Japanese town spent COVID relief funds on building another giant Olympic stadium that may or may not be used. Yeah, well, it's going to have no fans in it, isn't it? Is it going ahead?
Starting point is 00:47:02 It is. Apparently at the moment it's still going ahead, but no fans. And I think the athletes pretty much within 48 hours of having their event have to be gone. That's so sad. Because, you know, they don't want people to mingle and stuff. You know the rumours, what they say about the Olympic Village. Well, it won't be happening this year.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Very promiscuous. It won't be happening this year. I don't really know about this one. I'm going to say Japan town spent relief funds on building a giant bidet. Japanese town spent COVID relief funds on building giant squid. Giant squid. So this Japanese town, it's usually quite reliant on tourism, and because of the lack of tourists, they built this giant squid,
Starting point is 00:47:37 spent $300,000. It's 13 metres, I think, and it looks hideous, but everyone's going and taking photos of it so it's working. It's like the L&P bottle in Pairoa. Pretty much. Why did you say giant bidet? Because you used one. I thought that was one of my favourite things over there in Japan.
Starting point is 00:47:56 Just such a great experience. It's like a water blaster for your bottom isn't it? They need to bring them to New Zealand. Why aren't they a thing here? I imagine you could get them but they're not as common as they are over there, yeah. At least make the toilet seat warm. Like, that should be
Starting point is 00:48:10 a thing everywhere. Yeah. A heated toilet seat is just a game changer. And the final story. Becoming a part-time **** is a big trend in China.
Starting point is 00:48:20 Part-time influencer? Hashtag ad? Hashtag spons? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, part-time model, train enthusiast. I've got nothing on this one, Joe. Becoming a part-time mermaid is a big trend in China. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:48:34 So the world's largest scuba diving organisation is now instructing free divers in mermaiding, which is basically free diving deep, but with a big, heavy mermaid tail on you so it's probably harder and a hundred people all did it at once for a show and then broke the record for the largest underwater mermaid show
Starting point is 00:48:53 so that's now a thing. The mermaids, we've discussed it before, why have they ended up with a fish bottom and a human torso? But that's the way to go though, right? Yeah, other way around, no go. Well, what if I liked human legs and a fish? I'm sure there
Starting point is 00:49:10 might be an option for you, but most people would probably go with the other option I would imagine. But regardless, if you fall in love with a mermaid, it's still like half a fish. True. Like logistically, what was that movie? The Little Mermaid. The Little Mermaid, yeah. With the prince. Yeah. He fell in love with a little mermaid. But then she had some magic, The Little Mermaid, yeah. With the prince. Yeah. He fell in love with the Little Mermaid.
Starting point is 00:49:26 But then she had some magic, the magic that she was on land without the tail. Yeah. She wasn't full tail on land. Yeah, right. So people weren't going, oh, you're dating half a fish. No. He wasn't getting judged by the rest of society.
Starting point is 00:49:39 No. What's that little thing you're talking about? Sorry, it's a horn here. I should really get it out of my hand because it's going to annoy the rest of you for the remainder of the show. I don't know who left this horn here. I should really get it out of my hand because it's going to annoy the rest of you for the remainder of the show. I don't know who left this horn here. And those are actual news headlines from around the world.
Starting point is 00:49:50 From stealing Mike Hosking's car to stealing the hearts of New Zealand. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Actual hearts being not bestowed. That's the name game. I'm frantically Googling both of us during that song because we get someone to give us a call on 0800THEHITS, tell us their name,
Starting point is 00:50:10 and then we have to present them with some clues to other famous people with that same name. But we quickly Google it in the song just to try and get a bit of a run-up, a bit of a head start, and it's so hard. There's a lot of unnecessary pressure at 6.30 in the morning on us, isn't there? Sheesh.
Starting point is 00:50:24 My heart's going. All right. Let's bring lot of unnecessary pressure at 6.30 in the morning on us, isn't it? Sheesh. My heart's going. Hi. All right, let's bring James on from Rotorua. Morena, how are you? Morena, boys, how are you? Oh, great to have you on, James. How's Vegas this morning? Oh, a bit makariri, Jono, a bit makariri, mate.
Starting point is 00:50:37 Now, there's a new show called Vegas coming out, isn't there? Yeah, I think on TV too, yeah. It looks good. I saw the ad for it. Yeah, it does look awesome. All right. Yeah, it's pretty good. Okay,. It looks good. I saw the ad for it. Yeah, it does look awesome. All right. Yeah, that's pretty good. Okay, James,
Starting point is 00:50:47 so we're going to get the clock going. 30 seconds, mate. As many famous Jameses as you can name. Let's start the timer. John, I'm trying to get some clothes. Here you go. Okay, he sailed the Endeavour to New Zealand and brought many venereal diseases to our shores.
Starting point is 00:51:01 James Cook. Well done. He was a famous singer, no longer sort of a funk singer. He sort of didn't button up his shirt back in the day. I'll move on. You won't know him as this. You won't know him as a James,
Starting point is 00:51:15 but he's an actor and a rapper, and he stars on NCIS, LL... Cool J. Boom. The Prime Minister of Canada, not actually known as James. Oh. What? Justin Trudeau not actually known as James. Oh. What?
Starting point is 00:51:27 Justin Trudeau as James Trudeau. Really? Yeah. That was a bit fast, eh? That was a bit. That went too fast, James. That 30 seconds went so fast. I'll give you a bonus one.
Starting point is 00:51:36 He was the lead singer of The Doors. Oh. Didn't wear a shirt. Spent most of his... I see James as well. Here's a little Jim. Yeah. Nah, pass on that one.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Jim Morrison. Okay, we've got two there. Not too bad, James. We'll bring Brad in from Richmond and Nelson. How are you, Brad? Yeah, awesome, Coz. Nelson's a great area, isn't he? Yeah, lovely.
Starting point is 00:52:00 I love Nelson. Yeah, nice and sunny. Yeah, the novelty's probably worn off for you. You live there. Yeah. All right, Brad, I'm going. Yeah, nice and sunny. Yeah, the novelty's probably worn off for you. You live there. Yeah. All right, Brad, I'm going to throw out some clues for famous Brads, and you've got to see if you can answer as many as you can in 30 seconds. Try and beat two, all right?
Starting point is 00:52:14 He's a famous actor in Fight Club, was with Jennifer Aniston. Brad Pitt. Yeah, Brad Pitt. Another famous actor in The Hangover and A Star is Born. We'll move on. Board games like Monopoly and Connect Four were made by Milton and? Bradley. Yeah, he's the host of The Chase on TV One.
Starting point is 00:52:35 Brad. It's all Brad. Okay, Canterbury rugby player, also a Brisbane Bronco. Are you thorn in my side? Oh, it's two a piece Two a piece Two a piece Listen
Starting point is 00:52:49 We'll bring James back on too Juju if possible mate That's hard eh James and Brad It's a Friday And we're a show That doesn't like to Disappoint anyone
Starting point is 00:52:58 Because we're shallow Radio announcers It fuels our egos To know that people May or may not like us But we're going to give you Both a $200 Trade Depot voucher Okay Awesome Thank you very much It fuels our egos to know that people may or may not like us. But we're going to give you both a $200 Trade Depot voucher, okay? Awesome.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Thank you very much. No worries. Thank you so much for listening. Have a great weekend, all right? You too, lads. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the Hefts. The Hefts.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Scrolling through your feed. If you like your news updates presented by a broadcaster who's barely awake, well, then I not so proudly present Ben Boyce. Come on in. The Chiefs, Crusaders, it's all on the line tomorrow night. The Super Rugby Aotearoa final taking place tomorrow night. So about 7 o'clock, I think, kick off. Pretty quick season, is it?
Starting point is 00:53:38 I don't know. I've missed all games. Well, I guess because there's only five teams. Yeah, five teams in the New Zealand competition. But next week, the competition starts with Australian teams, which would be good as well. So, new competition, Super Rugby. But, yeah, complete this one this week. And it's so good to see the Chiefs turn things around
Starting point is 00:53:54 because last year wasn't so good for the Chiefs. So, to see them in the final and doing really well is awesome. I remember you making all sorts of jokes about the Chiefs last year. That's not me. Yeah, all sorts of... Not me. Oh, Sam Kane this, Sam Kane that.
Starting point is 00:54:06 No. You're like, he shouldn't be all black. No. He shouldn't be all black, Captain. That's what you were telling me. No way. You're like,
Starting point is 00:54:14 can I write a piece in the Herald about this? Move aside, Chris Rattou. I want to say some words about Sam Kane. That's what you were saying on the radio. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:54:23 At first I was like, did I make jokes about the Chiefs? And then you started talking more. I was like Anyway. At first I was like, did I make jokes with the Chiefs? And then you started talking more. I was like, okay, no, I didn't. No, he didn't make jokes with the Chiefs. But that's fantastic. Isn't it amazing
Starting point is 00:54:30 that you can turn a team around in the space of under a year? Yeah, because they even had not the best start to the season this season, but they really have, yeah, performed really well. I think it was our little trip
Starting point is 00:54:41 to Hamilton. Remember we had a couple of Chiefs players in? Oh, Anton Leonard-Brown. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you picked it up again. You said you wouldn't pick it back up.
Starting point is 00:54:50 I left this horn. I was wondering what that noise was. Someone has left this horn here. Yeah. Possibly, this is the only thing worse than the recorder that I have in my bag. But you're like, you said, I won't pick it up during the thing, but then you picked this trip up again. I can't help picking it up.
Starting point is 00:55:03 I'm going to put it away. I'll put it away. Take it away from me. It's gone. Never again. You said it last time. I know. I picked it up. I can't help but picking it up. I'm going to put it away. I'll put it away. Take it away from me. It's gone. Never again. Last time. I know. I tried it.
Starting point is 00:55:08 And I heard a little through that chat. Anyway, that was two guys vaguely talking about the rugby final this weekend. I found this really interesting. Steve Jobs, of course,
Starting point is 00:55:17 was one of the creators of Apple. You know, the Apple computers, Apple iPhones. Loved a black skivvy job, didn't he? He did.
Starting point is 00:55:25 And he didn't. Him and his, didn't he? He did. And he didn't. Him and his wife didn't let their kids use iPads. What? He's the creator of Apple. They thought they were too addictive for children and hard to resist, even for most adults. He's happy with everyone else's kids using them, though. Yeah, so it was interesting.
Starting point is 00:55:41 And as well as things like they were right also about cyberbullying and harmful things on the internet. So it seems unusual that the people that helped, their company was part of creating iPads, didn't their kids use it? It's almost like it's not listening to the radio. You're like, how do you not listen to the radio? Well, they don't, but for other reasons that we embarrass them. That's interesting.
Starting point is 00:56:04 What's your iPad usage with your children? Do they use devices? Yeah, as I said before, I've got them on the family system, so I have to approve. I love the power. A little bit of power that he has in his life. Approving all their apps, no matter where they are. Yeah, it's so much fun.
Starting point is 00:56:20 I love iPads. I'm going to say I love them. Yeah, iPads have raised my kids to be wonderful children. Thank you. Thank you, Steve Jobs. I appreciate it. That is scrolling through your feed this morning. Some of the news vaguely glossed over from Jono and Ben.
Starting point is 00:56:34 They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand. If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. Bye. Thanks to HP, who have launched Instant Ink, New Zealand's first on the hits. Bye. Thanks to HP,
Starting point is 00:56:46 who have launched Instant Ink, New Zealand's first at-home ink subscription service. Here's our adopted daughter, and she's doing her chores right now, which also just happens to be our celebrity news update, and after this, you need to make your bed, okay,
Starting point is 00:56:58 Producer Juliet? Thank you, I will, I will. So yesterday, we were talking about Ben Affleck DMing a girl, an influencer on Instagram after she unmatched him from celebrity dating app called Raya or Raya. And now Matthew Perry, a video of him has been leaked
Starting point is 00:57:15 FaceTiming someone who he matched with on this dating app and he played 20 questions with her. Now it was a video someone was recording from the side of the computer very subtly, so he didn't know that he was being filmed, and this is the only clip that's been released. Do you always play with your hair this much? I guess so, yeah. Do you always play with your hair this much
Starting point is 00:57:38 was one of the questions he asked. Is that a bit of a stitch-up on Matthew Perry? What's the legalities around that? I don't know, I don't know. Seems a bit of a stitch up on Matthew Perry? Is that, what's the legalities around that? I don't know, I don't know. So. Seems a bit like. I think people are probably, because it's a celebrity dating app and influencers can use it, influencers may be taking advantage of the fact that they're finding out probably information about these celebrities or whatever.
Starting point is 00:58:00 I always find that when people like put about DMs and they put them out, you know, like they go, oh, these persons do that and they put screenshots., you know, like, oh, these persons, they put screenshots. You're like, well, that's kind of a private conversation. Yeah. Very naughty. It's a privacy, yeah. All that makes me lead to believe is Ben's hiding stuff he doesn't want me to film. We have a lot of chats about you at our DMs.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Yeah, right. What's going on, guys? Everything's great. Everything's great. What are you not wanting to get out there? It's all under wraps. Well, what's going on, guys? Everything's great. Everything's great. What are you not wanting to get out there? It's all under wraps. Well, that's... I reckon this is the start of, like...
Starting point is 00:58:30 I reckon more stuff, more FaceTimes and DMs and stuff will become public. With celebrities. Yeah, but then, you know, you go back to... We all reflect on how the media treated Britney Spears as she was growing up. And we're all like, on our high horse, how do you do that?
Starting point is 00:58:47 Yeah. So, you know, this is just the same sort of thing, really, isn't it? Yeah, totally. Just because Matthew Perry's famous I know. means you can film him
Starting point is 00:58:54 having a conversation. I know. Good point. It's interesting. And Mark Wahlberg, he has talked about how he had to, and has posted on Instagram, the transformation he's had in his body for a new movie role. So he's had to, and has posted on Instagram, the transformation he's had in his body
Starting point is 00:59:05 for a new movie role. So he's had to eat over 7,000 calories a day to put on weight for this role. And he has a whole team behind him that decides what he eats and monitors his health because he has to put it on so quickly. And he's a healthy guy. He's up at like 2.45 a.m. working out, isn't he?
Starting point is 00:59:24 He's got a wild routine. He's in bed by 5.30. He's up at 2..45 a.m. working out, isn't he? He's got a wild routine. He's in bed by 5.30. He's up at 2.30. He's gymming all the time usually, but now he has to put on a bit of weight and it actually is a big process that they've looked into. He goes to bed after the chase. He doesn't get to the news.
Starting point is 00:59:39 That's how early he's got to bed. Actually, he was on a talk show, I think, in the U.S., I think with Jimmy Kimmelmel talking about this role. And I think his team obviously wanted, they want to do it healthily because it's not good for you to balloon that much in weight over a short period of time. But he was like, in some ways, and he wanted to just eat all the things and drink all the things that he hasn't been able to do for years.
Starting point is 00:59:57 He's like, I want fried chicken. I want beers. I want to go. This is my chance. Because he's so diligent. Because he eats so healthily usually. Yeah, he's like, I've got three weeks, I'm going to go hard. Let's blow out.
Starting point is 01:00:07 We should put the before and after shots on the Hits Instagram. That is wild what three weeks of bad eating can do. That's only three weeks. And then imagine the opposite of that. There are so many stars who would have to lose a bunch of weight to fit a role as well. And that would be just as hard.
Starting point is 01:00:24 But you wouldn't be able to lose that amount in three weeks. No. That's the depressing thing about losing weight. It's like, well if you can do it in three weeks yeah, we'd all be king. You can put it on so easily. We'll chuck it up on our story there, Hits Breakfast and you can check it out, Mark Wahlberg.
Starting point is 01:00:40 And that is Spy from WeekendEarToTheHits.co.nz Wrapping up our show on a Friday make sure you have a wonderful weekend out there. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and happy weekend to the hits.co.nz. We're wrapping up our show on a Friday. Make sure you have a wonderful weekend out there. Yeah, happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and happy weekend to the weekenders. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.
Starting point is 01:00:57 Jono and Ben on the hits breakfast. Friends of Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.

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