Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 07 - We Caught Up With Rhys Darby & Also The Man Who Painted Penises On Potholes!
Episode Date: May 7, 2021You may have seen on your feed pictures of potholes in roads being spray-painted with penises... The man behind this decided to paint phallic images around the potholes, so that the council would fix ...them. We chatted with him about his decision-making! We also caught up with comedian Rhys Darby, who is one of the judges on upcoming show The Masked Singer NZ, debuting Sunday night on Three. Finally, with Mother's Day on Sunday, we gave ourselves a little challenge & called our own mothers. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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You too, bro.
Jono and Ben.
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New Zealand's most recommended telco.
Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.
Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben,
you can have them anywhere, anytime.
Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast.
It's Friday the 7th of May.
Welcome to the podcast.
Love Fridays.
I said this morning on the show, it's like the bed ejects me,
like a trampoline out of bed, spring into action.
You?
Yeah, look, it's always, I feel like you had that negotiation with yourself
in that quick little instant.
You're a slow riser, though, aren't you?
You like to ease into the day.
I mean, I get out of bed, but yeah, but I do like having coffee,
flicking through the news, just sort of taking my time just to get into it.
Takes the time, ease into it.
Yeah.
Just so you don't rip the plaster off.
No.
Hell for leather.
I don't snooze the alarm or anything like that.
Like I get straight away, I get up straight away, but I do like that, you know.
I like to be early for stuff rather than in panic.
I like a flustered panic.
I like a flustered panic.
Just down the road, I'll be there in 15 minutes.
But no, welcome to the podcast
Heading into the weekend
Today on the show, geez it was quite a fun program
Wasn't we? We had Rhys Darby come in
He's a wonderful entertainer
Rhys the entertainer
What would you call Rhys?
He is an entertainer, well he's a comedian
But he's also a great actor
He's done so well, Rhys Darby
Now when you think of all the movies and TV shows he's done so well Rhys Darby you know when you think of all the movies
and TV shows
he's been in
we play a little game
that uses just a small
portion of some of them
there's been
in Jumanji
Yes Man
with Jim Carrey
as The Simpsons
he's the voice over
of The Simpsons
and every now and again
he'd be watching
something on TV
like I was
probably a few years ago
the kids were watching
Jake and the Neverland Pirates
and then the penguin
popped up
and it's like
ah it's Rhys Darby
you know playing the voice
of he just
you know
he appears everywhere
yeah he's done really well
and I tell you what
he has appeared on this show
because he moved from the States
back to New Zealand
for pandemic purposes
and boy we have interviewed
the crap out of Rhys Darby
we have had him on
well this would have been
his 8th or 9th appearance
since he's been in lockdown
when you get offered
a Rhys Darby
you don't say no
no we never say no.
Because it's Reece Darby.
They just go, would you like to interview Rua?
And we're like, Darby, yes.
We finished that.
He's like, because he did a little online series during the pandemic.
And we're like, yep, we'll take it.
You know, he's doing this mask thing.
Yep, we'll take it.
He's going back to the States for work, he said.
But he's like, you know, you can interview me at the airport too, one last time.
Just one last hurrah.
Yeah.
I'd love to go to the States, track him down for an interview as well.
That would be quite funny.
Obviously not that funny.
We both stopped in an awkward silence.
Maybe that's not a great idea.
Okay, but thank you.
We'll wait for the pandemic to ease a little bit and then we'll track him down. I love that awkward silence. Maybe that's not a great idea. Okay, but thank you. We'll wait for the pandemic to ease a little bit,
and then we'll track him down.
I love that awkward silence.
I was trying to think about what else is on the podcast today.
Yeah, but in doing so,
you created quite a difficult moment for us to navigate our way out of.
You did.
Okay, a hell of a hole there.
I did.
As well as that, Jono has an idea for how we can get The Rock's attention,
Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
He pitches it to me on the podcast today.
You're not fully on board with it.
Not fully on board, no.
So I've got the weekend to think about it.
But see if you're on board when you listen to the podcast.
Don't you want to get on your hero's Instagram account?
Is that a dream?
But is that the only way to do it?
Where's your commitment?
I don't know.
Anyway, enjoy the podcast.
Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man.
The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast.
Now, Auckland Transport are in a wee bit of a stoush with a road safety campaigner by the name of Jeff Upson.
Now, he's going around.
There's potholes on the roads and he's basically wanting to get rid of these potholes for people driving safe on the roads.
But he's taking an orthodox method to point out
these potholes. Yeah he is and
Jeff joins us on the phone right now
thank you for joining New Zealand's Breakfast
No that's all good
Please take this in the right way
when we've been teeing up an interview with you
we've been chasing you all week, you've been very elusive
but everyone keeps referring to you as
the penis guy
Have we got the penis guy yet?
That's what we keep saying to each other.
But you've created a brand for yourself now.
I have in a way.
It's a little bit of an accident, really.
That wasn't the intention.
So just to explain for anyone that hasn't read the story
or haven't heard about it, what exactly have you been doing?
So, well, some of the roads I'm driving on every day,
just around my home and between my house and a friend's house
or my house and work or wherever I'm driving,
you know, they're just a bit unsafe.
They've got potholes, they've got undulation.
There's a few spots where I could probably get airborne
if I hit it a little bit faster than the speed limit.
You know, I haven't tried yet, but some of these roads, you know,
they're really overdue for a little bit of basic maintenance.
And I'm just trying to highlight that with a giant fluoro green painter.
So what you've done is you started out initially, didn't you,
spraying circles around them with green spray paint so the council would know,
hey, there's a bit of a divot in the road, so to speak.
Yes, yep.
And also so that drivers can see it.
A lot of drivers have told me, you know, because of my drawing on the road, they've been able
to avoid hitting a pothole.
And so then the circles weren't getting any traction with the council, they weren't filling
in the holes.
So then you took some creative license and attached phallic objects to the potholes.
Yeah, I mean, back in 2018, it worked perfectly because I'd complained about 20 times about this huge burnt pothole.
And so as soon as I drew a penis on it, it went live on Facebook.
And they sent somebody out that day.
So they got results.
They got results, your unusual method.
They got results. They got results. Your unusual method got results. But the council
not too happy about your method, saying
it could be dangerous going out onto the
road, and they're not too happy with the
vandalism, I guess. Yeah, I
mean, I do apologise if
I have offended people. I mean, I know
there's going to be somebody
out there who's offended by the word
penis or a drawing of a penis, and
I do apologise.
I am very sorry, and that's not my intention at all.
I'm not trying to upset people.
I'm just trying, the only way that I really know,
to get that road fixed.
The only way I know.
Yeah, I mean, calling the council, that's not an option.
Yeah, you've gone very light on detail with your artwork as well.
Which is good. It could be a rocket, a space rocket,
John Owasemi, on the day. You could say it was that.
Yeah, or I could just say it was a balloon
and it was a long, shaped balloon with a, you know,
it was ready to go to a kid's birthday.
Oh, yeah.
Like those ones that the clowns make animals out of.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One of those.
Now, the council have been saying that they're threatening you with sort of legal
action. What's happening there? Do you know anything about that? Yeah, so I've actually
seen the email and that came from the media team at Auckland Transport
or the public relations team at Auckland Transport and they've confirmed
that Auckland Transport will be
prosecuting the culprit.
They haven't specifically named me, even though they know it was me.
They haven't named me in that email.
And I have already given a formal statement to the police,
admitting to drawing on the road.
I'm very open and honest about this.
I had no intention of lying to the police, so I've been very open and honest.
Did the council say in the email it was a dick move,
or did they make any puns?
Actually, there was an article I read,
it said a dick move for all of the right reasons.
Oh, it is? That's a very clever pun.
Yeah, because you're doing it with best intentions
to help out other people on the roads.
Absolutely.
At the end of the day, the only result, the end result that I want is that road to be fixed.
That's it, really.
Yeah, so it hasn't been a complete balls up, so well done.
Listen, keep up to date with your ongoing legal battle with the council.
We'll see how that turns out.
Yeah, no, I'll definitely let you know.
I am optimistic.
I'm optimistic that they will just fix the road and that will be the end of it. But to be honest, I am a let you know. I am optimistic. I'm optimistic that they will just fix the road
and that will be the end of it.
But to be honest, I am a little bit nervous.
I am a little bit worried about, you know,
because maybe there's some gale time.
I'm not sure.
But only time will tell.
The best part about this story that I've found
is that the drawings, the spray painting,
is actually to scale, I understand.
No comment. No comment on that actually to scale, I understand. No comment.
No comment on that one.
No comment, okay, all right.
We're not going to get that exclusive.
Hey, well, thank you so much for your time
and all the best with your endeavours
and your little legal stash
that you've got over a very unusual thing.
Awesome.
Hey, thank you so much for having me on the show.
I know, isn't it?
Yeah, you did that.
Yeah.
Nah.
Yeah, nah.
The whole movie.
Yeah, nah.
She'll be right, and at the end of the day... Jono and Ben, guy on the show.
In fact, we've had him so many times on the show.
Too many times, really, for the star that he is.
Yeah, I know.
We need to put him on the payroll.
Rhys Darby, welcome.
Hello, back again.
Lovely to see you.
It's great because you've been trapped in New Zealand.
I always say trapped in New Zealand. You've been trapped in New Zealand. I won't say trapped in New Zealand.
You've been living in New Zealand during these COVID months and times.
And it's been great.
We've been milking you, taking full advantage of access to ReStarby.
I see that, yes.
I'm looking forward to leaving so that I can have a holiday.
We're smoking to you in quarantine.
We're smoking to you on a place up north.
We're smoking to you all over the place.
Listen, mate, you're in a taxi on your way to your hotel.
How's it feel to be in a taxi?
Yeah, pretty good.
These are quite similar to the other ones, okay?
I know.
We really have burdened you with a lot of chats.
And we apologise.
But we've got you in under really exciting terms.
The Masked Singer.
Oh, yes.
Hugely popular international show.
The New Zealand version is happening on 3
and you're one of the judges.
Oh, thank God you're telling me.
Did you know you did the show?
People are telling me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it was really, really cool.
Look, I'd seen this show in the States.
It's a real family affair.
The kids absolutely love it.
My friend Ken was on the guessing panel in the American version.
Ken Jong.
You guys know who he is. Yeah, from The Hangover. Yeah. So he always raving on about it on social
media, always looks like he's having a good time. So I thought, well, all right, I'll
do it as well. I want to have a good time too. People haven't seen it before. They have
amazing costumes and celebrities in the costumes and we all have to, you know, including yourselves,
have to guess who the celebrities are.
Yes, and I have no idea.
Do they actually keep pretty stringent to that, do they?
Oh, my gosh, yes.
You don't see anyone wandering around backstage, you're like,
oh, it's such and such.
I've never seen such tight security, not since my military days.
Yeah, I mean, you can't see them.
They're in their rooms and they get escorted.
And they put like big sort of blankets over their heads and everything
when they get them to the cars.
And they get them in really early before anyone gets there
because there's an audience, of course.
And so they can't see.
And so none of us knew.
So it was very tight.
In fact, yeah, the New Zealand security at the border
could learn a few things from TV3, I think.
And amazing costumes too, what I see, with a bit of a Kiwi flavour.
Absolutely.
Yeah, that was the fun part because you never know what's going to come out
and all of a sudden this giant mower or there's a jellyfish or, you know,
and they're sparkly and they're huge eyes.
The jellyfish has got these anime eyes.
I just couldn't take my eyes off it.
I thought the New Zealand version of the mask thing,
everyone would just come out in like balaclavas or COVID masks,
you know, medical masks or something.
I think once we run out of ideas, that'll happen on season two.
It looks awesome.
It's on Sunday and Monday night on three.
So check it out.
It looks like a great show.
Are the celebrities genuinely good singers?
Yes, they are.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I mean, so good that you are trying to think,
who can be that good and yet I don't know who it is. Oh, really? Yes, they are. Yeah? Yeah. I mean, so good that you are trying to think, who is that?
Who can be that good? And yet I don't
know who it is. Oh, really? So, yeah.
Now, we've got Rhys Darby with us. Before we
go, you're obviously on The Masked Singer
this weekend. It's on TV3, but
you've been in so many great things over the years. We're so
proud of you here in New Zealand. We want to play a quick game
called Rhys' Pieces. A little bit of dialogue
from some things you've been in and see
if you can remember what the movie or the TV show was.
Oh, I love memory games.
All right, here's the first one.
Rhys Darby, what was this?
Right then.
Here you go.
With the invaluable help of your associates,
you must use your complementary skills
to return the jewel to the jaguar's eye.
Unbelievable.
Jumanji, obviously.
Yes, Jumanji.
Oh, whoops, that was the wrong day.
Hey, come on on I know that one
there we go
there we go
we like to bamboozle you
with her play
actually speaking of jumanji
can I show you something
yes
we put
our family got the
jumanji board game
for Christmas
you're so good
in those movies
it's so good
and I
all of us
have no idea
how to play this game
the rules are so complicated
and I've got the rules here,
and I just want to, just because you set the rules in the actual movie.
That's right.
Well, the hard thing is you've got to get the thing open.
You've got to get the box.
The box is really airtight.
And you're still trying to get the thing open.
That's the first task.
There we go.
See, I've highlighted what I just want you to sort of decipher there,
Rhys Darby, the rules of Jumanji the board game.
Because we've got this, but we've never been able to play it
because we can't figure it out.
Yes, well, of course,
when an enemy card is drawn,
it'll have an icon with a number.
Now, this number indicates
that the number of other players
that will roll with the leader,
which is the person whose turn it is.
Now, the leader gets to decide
which characters will roll with him or her.
To win a battle,
everyone must collectively roll higher or equal, okay?
Right.
To the health points, of course.
Yes.
Which are on the enemy card.
Now, if you win, everyone who rolled gains a token.
If you rolled less than the HP, which, of course, the health points,
just abbreviated that for you there,
which are on the enemy card, the leader loses a life
and the board must be spun by the player who actually lost. Oh, it's simple,
Jono. Everyone knows that.
What does it say on the instructions here?
It says the same thing. It's just on the top of
Rhys Darby's head, that. That's exactly
how you play that. That's how you play the game.
See, there's no images of me on this, so obviously I
didn't give it the... No, they put
Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson, Jack
Black on there.
Yeah, well, they must have been given a little bit of cash on that one.
Nothing for the Dabmeister.
Ristabi's in the mask.
We'll just play this game quickly before we end.
He's got to go.
But another movie Ristabi was in.
Can you remember this one?
Guy from corporate's here.
He wants to talk to you.
I think it's about all those loans you've been approving.
I'm just enjoying the
moment. No, that's Yes Man. The Yes Man
with Jim Carrey. Another great movie.
My first big film. Must have been surreal.
Very surreal. I still think
about it. Like, for a first film, I would
have liked to have done, you know, maybe 48 Hour
Film Festival. But no,
straight in the deep end with Jim Carrey.
Who's obviously, as a fellow
comedian, I mean, you must have loved Jim Carrey for years.
Yeah, I love him.
He's my idol.
And so to work with him and to have him go,
yeah, you're not too bad, mate.
It was really going from zero to 100, wasn't it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was a good start to the career.
Wow, that's awesome.
Oh, Rhys Darby, so good hanging out with you again.
Burdening you with another interview with us.
That was not a bad one, though, this one.
Hey, when do you leave?
Because we'll squeeze
a couple more in.
Do one at the airport
if you could.
Bruce Darby,
can't wait.
The Masked Singer
in New Zealand
kicks off this Sunday
at 7pm on 3.
Try and guess
the 12 local celebrities
who are inside the costumes.
Should be lots of fun
and Monday night as well.
To everyone pulling
a sickie today,
you're not fooling anyone.
Jono and Ben,
breakfast on the hits.
I'll tell you what it's a good feeling,
finding out to this code
that Jono says he's got
that will help us all get rich.
It's a code,
it's a five digit number.
Just say the number then.
And all you need to do is,
you need to say it out
to the universe twice
and also write the number out
with your index finger
into the air.
You're so wacky.
Thank you, Juliet.
You're not so bad yourself. Thank you. Is he going to tell us? No. Conditions aren't right. You're so wacky. Thank you, Juliet. You're not so bad yourself.
Is he going to tell us? No. Conditions
aren't right. Conditions aren't perfect.
When he's got a secret or something, he just kind of lords
it over you. It's not perfect. It's not perfect.
We want times. I can tell you're not feeling
settled. Your tummy's not settled yet.
I can tell you're not relaxed, Juliet.
You're looking near. Times aren't right.
It's not right. It will happen, though,
before 8 o'clock. I hope it happens before Mother's not right. It will happen though before eight o'clock.
I hope it happens
before Mother's Day
and now Mother's Day
of course Sunday
and we thought
on the show this morning
can we do this now?
Is it?
Can we do?
Yeah Mother's Day
if the conditions are right
for a Mother's Day reference
yeah.
So we thought we'd play
a little game right now
with both of our mums.
We'll do your mum Annie
lovely Annie now
and maybe my mum Jenny
a bit later on the show.
We'll give Jono a word and he's got maybe 30 seconds to try and get his mum Jenny a bit later on the show, will give Jono a word, and he's got maybe 30 seconds
to try and get his mum to say that word on a phone call.
Now, the problem is, as soon as my mum Annie knows she's on the radio,
she's going to say no words.
She hates being on the radio.
It's up there with one of her most loathed things,
along with people who don't have manners.
Annie hates being on the radio.
I'll tell you what, I've just thought of the word that I'd like your mum to say.
Now, you've often claimed that your mum says
the pizza franchise Domino's as Domino's.
Yeah.
Now, I want to see if she,
without too much prompting from you.
Oh, if I've made this up.
If you've made this up or not,
or if in fact she calls it Domino's.
Because it sounds very fancy.
It does, yeah, I know.
But I mean, I'm sure you lived on Domino's,
did you, when you were a student, Juliet?
Absolutely, the greatest pizza ever.
Don't they do like $2 pizza or something?
Yeah, okay, so mum's the word.
I have 30 seconds to try and get Annie to say Domino's?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, we'll start the timer as soon as she answers, Juliet.
We'll go through now.
Heading through to Christchurch.
Hello?
Annie! Yes?
How are you? Good,
thank you. It's me.
I know. What are you doing?
Your number didn't come up.
Oh, hey, now, I was going to get pizza tonight.
Yes.
Now, what were the major pizza outlets that you know?
How do you mean, the major ones?
Yeah, who are the big players?
I don't know.
Pizza Hut.
That's what you get, isn't it?
Yeah.
And then what else is there?
Well, we get them from the Mediterranean,
but that's not... That's like Christchurch.
There's another...
What other mainstream major...
Burger King.
Burger King?
No.
Well, Burger King doesn't make...
Jay, I don't get pizza.
No, but if you were to order pizza and you weren't going to go to Pizza Hut
and you weren't going to go to Hell Pizza...
Oh, there was Hell Pizza.
That's the one I was thinking of, yes.
Yeah, no, but then you'd go to...
Where else would you go?
Domino's.
Domino's.
It's Domino's. Annie. Yeah? It's me. Domenos Domenos Annie Yeah
It's me
Yes
And I never know how to wrap up a prank call
No
It's Ben and me
Yes
Yes, yes, she's aware of that
Oh look, we were just trying
It's Mother's Day on Sunday, Annie
Yes Yeah Can we just explain it all to her? of that. Oh look, we were just trying, it's Mother's Day on Sunday, Annie. Yes.
Yeah.
Can we explain it all to her?
And we're playing a game
called Mum's the Word.
Right.
Yeah.
And your word was
dominoes.
It's dominoes.
Yeah.
It's actually,
it's dominoes.
The what?
The,
sorry,
what did you say?
It's dominoes.
I'll turn down national radio.
I wonder if she's listening to a better radio station.
Thank you, Mum.
Happy Mother's Day.
Oh, I don't know what you want.
Why did you call?
She's like, I just turned down national radio for this.
Why?
I don't know.
Why are you listening to the hits?
Well, I like national radio.
I love you, Mum.
Bye.
She never says she loves you.
No, never.
Say you love me, Annie.
Well, I put that in my Texas.
I do it as you be.
Yeah, she does.
She does.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
There she goes.
She never says she loves you.
No. Out loud. Puts it in Texas. Yeah. But does. Bye. Bye. Bye. There she goes. She never says she loves you. No.
Out loud.
Puts it in Texas.
Yeah, but won't say it publicly.
Come out and say it publicly for once.
Let the public know that you love your son.
Watch you hiding.
Yeah.
Anyway, happy Mother's Day to all the mums out there.
Yeah, I hope you have a great day.
We apologise in advance.
Sorry about that.
Sorry about that.
I'm sorry to rope you into this.
Sorry you've been dragged into this.
Jono and Ben, breakfast on the heads.
The heads.
The heads.
Of course, it is Mother's Day on Sunday,
and, you know, make sure you remember that.
Is that like a threat?
It's basically for me as well, to make sure I remember that.
Write it down in your notes in your phone or something, mate.
I'll do that. That's where I write everything else. We down in your notes in your phone or something, mate. I'll do that.
That's where I write everything else.
We've been playing a fun little game all morning, though.
It's Mums the Word, and basically we call our mothers,
and we've got to get them to say a particular word.
Just after 7 o'clock, Ben, I've spoken many times about my mum
referring to Domino's as Domino's, the pizza outlet.
And so you tasked me with trying to get Annie Pryor
and Christchurch to say this word.
If you were to order pizza
and you weren't going to go to Pizza Hut
and you weren't going to go to Hell Pizza,
where else would you go?
Domino's.
Domino's.
Domino's.
Now, it's your turn.
Mum's the word with Jenny.
Now, Ben calls his mum maybe three times a year.
And two out of those three radio content.
That's right.
And it's the present every mother wants for Mother's Day
is to be part of a radio prank call.
So what do you want me to say?
What do you want me to get my mum to say?
Well, I know you had like a sexy negligee as a comfort toy, didn't you, when you were younger?
Oh, yeah, I did.
I used to take a petticoat, you know, to bed.
It was like the thing I liked, the feel of it,
the feeling petticoat, I used to call it,
and take it to bed.
Okay, well, okay.
Then why don't you just try and get Jenny Boyce
to say the feeling petticoat.
Is that the name?
That was the name that I gave it.
Do you remember the name?
Yeah, well, I'm sure she'll remember that name.
Let's go through.
Jenny Boyce.
Cell phone.
Hello, Jenny speaking.
Oh, hey, Mum.
How's it going?
Oh, hello, sweetheart.
Good, thank you.
You're all good?
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm surviving the deep south.
Oh, yeah. Cold. Sorry, just a real quick question. What'm good. I'm surviving the deep south. Oh, yeah.
Cold.
Sorry, just a real quick question.
What was the thing I used to take to bed?
What was it called?
When I was a kid, when I was a little kid.
Oh, you're not talking about the cute little petticoat.
What was the name of that?
Yeah, what was the name of the petticoat?
I can't remember what I used to call it.
I didn't know that you had a special name.
Neither did I, Jenny.
This is news to me as well.
What was the special name?
What was your special name?
Mummy.
Mummy.
What was mummy?
I didn't take mum to bed.
You were sucking on...
No, it was a feeling petticoat.
It was a petticoat because it felt nice.
It was a feeling petticoat.
Yeah, that's what I was looking for.
I didn't know that you had another name, but it was a special name.
Well, that was the name.
Let's not make this sinister.
Did he have a special name for it?
Maybe it was just for you, you and the petticoat.
Maybe the wider public, like your mum and me, never knew it.
Oh, crazy.
Have you still got it, your burning petticoat?
You gave it back to me a couple of years ago.
Oh, yeah, your 21st or something.
Yeah.
A couple of years ago.
Now, Jenny.
Yes, darling.
Jenny, just hearing the pure joy in your voice when your son called.
Oh, hello.
So happy.
Now you realise it's a part of a radio bit.
How disappointed are you?
Oh, well, look, hey,
you've got to have crumbs when you can get them.
You never know.
Yeah.
This counts. This counts. This counts.
I heard about the Deep South. She's in Hector
at the moment. Very cold down there.
It's a sunshiny
now. It's going to be a beautiful day.
Where is Hector, if you don't mind me asking, Jenny? It's not far frominy now. It's going to be a beautiful day. Where is Hector, if you don't mind me asking, Jenny?
It's not far from Westport.
It's on the west coast of the South Island,
and it's a beautiful little village.
Hey, well, Jenny, happy Mother's Day to you.
Oh, thank you, my friend.
It's nice to hear from my son.
There's a real bonus.
Thank you.
No, I say, just like what Jono said.
Jono threw a lovely heartfelt message to you.
Oh, thank you. I love you guys. Love you, Jenny. See you. No, I say, just what Jono said. Jono threw a lovely heartfelt message to you. Oh, thank you.
I love you guys.
See you.
Bye.
How come I was the only one
who said Happy Mother's Day?
It's just your role.
I love you guys as well too.
I'm like an adopted son.
Want more Jono and Ben?
You can catch up
with the boys anytime.
Just search Jono and Ben
on Instagram.
Now the one thing that small business doesn't need now, Ben,
is a long weekend, okay?
So don't start trying to flout all the time.
Maybe if I say that enough, we'll get a long weekend.
Do you...
I just want to talk about your relationship with your ID,
your identification.
Okay.
Because, you know, the older and older I get,
the less and less I get asked for ID, you know,
and it's kind of, last night I was in a situation
where I was in a shop and the young gentleman
in front of me, he was asked for ID.
And then I could see, I came up with a big smile
on my face.
Oh, here we go.
And I could, and the guy looked at me, and out of pity, he said,
oh, have you got your ID?
And I could tell it was just to make me feel better about the situation.
And I was like, oh, mate, I know you.
This is flattering.
And then I held it out there, and he kind of looked.
He's like, oh, geez, okay.
He's a bit younger
than I thought he was
yeah I had that a while back
the last time
I did get asked for ID
and I felt
yeah I felt quite good about it
I was like
oh that's good
and then the person
looked at my ID
and then go
and they went
oh I couldn't have got
that more wrong
I was like
I said that out loud
and I was like
oh okay
but it's funny
like the life stages you go through with ID,
you would have had this.
When you're younger, all you want to do is appear older
and so you forge an ID.
Yes, and then you get your ID and you're like, yes, I'm in a prime.
And then you flaunt that round because you're old enough
to enter wherever you want to enter or buy what you want to buy
and so you flaunt that round with pride.
And then sort of in your late 20s,
you start to get grotesquely offended if anyone asks you for ID.
Well no and then you've also got the stage in between that where you're kind of like
yes I no longer get asked for ID because I don't look super super young and so I've started
having that now.
Some people ask me for my ID, some people don't.
So you're loving it at the moment.
I'm like, but then I'm also like now that that's sort of sunk in I'm like damn I'm getting
old.
Yeah.
Well, then from your 40s,
basically the only time you ever get asked for ID
is when you're pulled over by the police.
Get your ID as well.
Or the St. John's ambulance officer
needs to know who they're trying to resuscitate.
That's your blood type.
So it's a depressing relationship you have with the identification, isn't it?
I even had it on a small scale.
It just reminded me of last night because I said I took my daughter's ice skating.
And this guy came up and he's like, hey, I seen you guys out there on the ice.
Would you guys like to sign up for ice hockey?
And we're doing free.
And I was like, wow, I didn't know I was that good, but all right.
And he handed over the card and it said ice hockey free, you know, Thursday nights, ages 8 to 14.
I was like, oh, okay, well, it's clearly not for me.
But I got quite excited about it.
He's like, no, mate, you're in the senior citizens.
But that's also free at a discount.
Bring your gold card.
Morning, this show contains traces of Jono and Ben.
The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast.
Time to get rich quick.
What for?
Well, I don't know.
You've been saying all morning you've got a code.
You're going to tell us the code?
Ah, the code.
Can you please tell us now?
The code.
The wonderful code.
No, not yet.
It's a five-digit number that if you say it a couple of times to the universe,
you shall be greeted and rewarded with riches aplenty.
But now's not the time because Ben don't you sigh
don't shut your eyes and sigh
because people might not be ready for it
they need to get a pen and paper
they need to tell their family
hey get ready we're about to be rich
you need to prepare
within the next 10 minutes
I'll see
okay what are we going to do
please welcome Dwayne the Rock Johnson
Dwayne Johnson Dwayne the Rock do? Please welcome Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Dwayne Johnson.
Dwayne the Rock Johnson. For 10 years, Dwayne the Rock Johnson has been Ben the Pebble Voices
hero. He inspires me. Now, Ben's challenge. Can he get on Dwayne the Rock Johnson's Instagram?
Yes, I am trying to do a favour for my dear, dear friend. Are you? Make a dream come true.
I thought at the start you were doing a favour
and I was on board with this idea,
but now I've started to question it the more we get into it.
No, he's like, after the show, he's like,
are you mocking me?
Is this whole thing mockery?
No.
I'm not.
Why would I mock you?
I don't mock you.
Anyway, so...
It's bullying.
So Dwayne The Rock Johnson, yes, he's a hero of mine.
I love Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
And I had been saying for a while that he posts videos and photos of people enjoying his tequila on his own social media.
I was like, that'd be cool to get on there.
Yeah, so we ordered some tequila.
Millennial Mac spent, honestly, a month and a half ordering tequila.
You couldn't, you know, due to duty and customs and stuff.
Some places don't sell alcohol and then send it over.
It was a nightmare.
Anyway, we went to the back blocks of Eastern Europe
and managed to acquire a couple of bottles
from a Russian entrepreneur slash international drug lord.
So we've got these bottles here, two bottles of it.
So you have the tequila. So now we've got these bottles here, two bottles of it, so you have the tequila.
So now we've got the props.
We just need to get you on
Dwayne the Rock Johnson's Instagram account.
So you want to film a little video with me
or the two of us
with this tequila somewhere in there
and you've been asking for suggestions
and this has moved my throat.
I'm like, well, a lot of these aren't fun for me.
No, they're not.
And we...
The wind was taken out of our sails yesterday because we spoke
to Kate Roger, who has been
in the room with Dwayne the Rock Johnson
five times she's met him.
And she kind of... She put me off
a little bit. Yeah.
You guys have got to kind of understand
and appreciate for
how much one
single Instagram post from
the Rock is worth. I heard a rumour that built into some of his contracts for his films,
he has a certain number of Instagram posts he will make about Hobbs & Shaw,
he will make about whatever film he's currently in.
And it's worth a million US per Instagram post.
So I went, wow, that's what I did.
And I think you smiled at me, didn't you?
You smugly smiled at me.
You're like, this is never going to happen, but we're pursuing it.
So we threw it out to social media.
We threw it out to you.
What should Ben do with this tequila in the video that we send to Dwayne the Rock Johnson to put on Instagram?
And the votes have come through, my friend.
Okay, what's happened?
I'm going to front it, front foot it, and say,
we've seen it before, we'll see it again.
Oh, no, I think I know what you're going to do.
It's tried and true.
No, I don't want another tattoo.
You're going to say tattoo, aren't you?
No.
What if I said tat?
The people have voted.
They're like, get a tat
of Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
Have a sip of tequila while you're
getting the tat or whatever.
He's going to put that on.
There's a reason why tattoos get results in radio.
They get attention.
You know it's going to work. Your dream will
come true. It's a big commitment.
Oh, isn't it? The only thing Dwayne the Rock Johnson
is going to be doing fast and furious
is posting that video onto his Instagram account.
I thought we were past this sort of thing, though.
No.
The old John O'Byrne might have done like a tattoo.
Yeah, but every now and then you go, a leopard doesn't change its spots.
Tell you what doesn't change either, a tattoo.
So I've booked in a tattoo artist.
When?
For Monday.
It's my artist, Fabian.
You know the same guy who drew
a dog smoking a cigarette on my chest?
He will do your tattoo.
Okay? Can I think about this?
No. Yes,
I'd like to. Do you want the weekend
to think about it? Yeah, well, that'd be nice.
I was thinking a few hours, but the weekend would be good,
alright? Okay, Monday morning,
I want an answer. 7am. Okay.
If not, the dream's over, I'm
smashing the tequila. We'll find out
if that's happening.
Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office
those two. Jono and Ben
New Zealand's breakfast on the hits
Bang on 7.45 and it's time to
hopefully give someone some money. 5 words
for 5k on the hits
You're only 5 words away from a massive
payday.
Listen, we had a meeting yesterday.
We had a team meeting yesterday,
and we've been dragging this thing out too long, okay?
Well, don't drag it out by talking about how long we've been dragging it out.
Let's just get to it.
We've been milking the drama for too long.
Your chance to match your five words with our five words, and you can get $5,000 cash.
Let's go to Gemma.
She's in Palmerston North.
We have a wonderful affiliation with Palmerston North.
Gemma, how are you?
Yeah, good, thanks.
Made in yourself?
Yeah, good.
We are on a mission, too.
We want to fix your town clock.
You know, the one in the centre of town?
It's got the wrong time on all four faces.
Yes, yes.
Well, hopefully twice a day it might show the right time.
Yeah, but we want to get down there
and we want to reset that clock.
We want to do that for Palmerston North,
but we'll talk about that at another time
because we don't want to drag this out.
Yeah, right now, Priya.
Okay, if anyone's listening from management,
you know who's definitely dragging this out.
All right, Gemma, your chance to see one of us into the soundproof booth.
You've got Jono Baird or producer Juliette.
I'll pick Ben this morning.
Oh, there we go.
This is 5K Friday, ladies and gentlemen.
That's what I've labelled it.
I haven't got the official marketing assets for it just yet.
We'll get the billboards out.
But you could win five grand going into the weekend, Gemma.
That would be pretty sweet.
All right, let's do it.
Five words.
And the first word that comes into your head when I say brows,
not as in browse the internet, B-R-O-W-S, as in eyebrows.
Well, probably eyebrow.
Well, I kind of gave you the answer on that one.
You kind of did.
Yeah, yeah.
No, that was my bad.
It's well done, Jonathan.
Would you have had eyebrows too, Julie?
Yeah, I actually would have gone that before you said it.
Second word, iceberg.
Maybe Antarctica?
I had something else, but I won't tell you what it is because I've already given you one.
Yep.
Paw. P-A you one. Yep. Poor.
P-A-W.
Dog.
Moisturiser.
As in...
Moisturiser.
Uh, face?
And the fifth and final word for Gemma to win $5,000
and send Palmerston North into an absolute frenzy this morning.
City.
City.
I'll have to go with Palmerston North.
Palmerston North City.
Well done on the five words.
We'll get Ben Boyce out of the soundproof booth.
Come on, you skinny little devil.
I love it when he emerges from the soundproof booth.
It's like opening a present at Christmas time.
How are you feeling, mate?
Feeling all right.
That was quick, Jono.
That was good.
I was worried you were going to take too much time on the game,
but I wasn't in there for long.
All right, Gemma.
She did well.
She matched five words with her five words.
Now, the problem being that you need to get your five words
to match with her five words to win $5,000 cash.
No pressure.
No, no pressure.
There's a lot of pressure.
I'll tell you what, I am www.excited.com about this
because I think we're going to have a Friday winner.
Oh, don't say that.
I've already branded it 5K Friday.
Just get on with it.
Get on with it.
First word, brows, as in eyebrows.
As in what?
I'm trying to differentiate
from browse the internet.
Can I say eye?
Well done.
Thank you. Is that what it was?
I found that a really hard thing to explain.
Just spell it out next time.
Sorry, Julie.
We'll talk about this after the show.
You're going to give me all the answers?
Because then it can be 5K Friday.
Second word was iceberg.
I've got two.
It's popped into my head.
Should I talk that out?
I don't know.
Do you want to?
Because potentially when you do this,
you give the answer and you get the wrong one.
Okay, I'm going to lock in
Lettuce
What was the second one?
Titanic
No
Neither of those
What did you go Gemma?
Antarctica
Antarctica
Of course
What a loser you are Ben
Word number three was poor
P-A-W
Patrol
Moisturiser Face And city Word number three was poor. P-A-W? Patrol.
Moisturiser.
Face.
And city.
Oh, there's lots of options.
Gemma, you were from Palmerston North.
Can I go Palmerston North?
Three out of five.
Sorry, for poor Gemma, you said?
Dog.
Dog, yeah.
All right, listen, them's the breaks.
That's what happens.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose,
but I tell you what, you're always winning, Gemma,
because you live in Palmerston North and you go and have a great weekend.
Yeah, you too.
Thanks, mate.
Two dads just trying to fill some airtime.
Some might say it's pointless,
but the main thing is it fills in some airtime for us.
That is the main thing.
Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits.
Bye. Thanks to HP, who have launched Instant Ink,
New Zealand's first at-home ink subscription service.
All righty, it's time to hand you over now
to the most professional part of this shabby operation.
Producer Juliette, what's going on in Spy this hour?
So Megan and Harry's son, Archie Mountbatten-Windsor,
has celebrated his second birthday overnight.
6th of May was his birthday.
No photo release, which is traditionally what the royals do,
and I'm desperate for a photo of Archie.
Well, just Google a baby and then you'll be satisfied.
Yeah, true.
But instead...
Do you know the other day we met producer Humphrey's baby when we were out, little Dorothy.
And Juliet, you weren't there, but you were like, send me a photo, send me a photo.
And Dorothy had left at that point.
So Ben was like, take a photo of your face close up and go, cute baby, eh? I literally got such a fright when I saw it.
I was like, oh God, I wasn't expecting to see that.
Yeah, it was a real close up shot of my big ugly face.
I'm sorry.
Giant baby, giant baby. But instead, to celebrate Archie's birthday,
they have encouraged people to donate money
to COVID relief funds so that people in countries
that need it can get vaccinated,
which is very wholesome of them.
That's nice.
Thanks, Megan and Harry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was that...
No, it was not.
It was nice.
Why does it sound...
It sounded really sarcastic.
Well, no, it was like, thanks, Megan and Harry.
It was good. No, it wasn't like, thanks again. It was like, thanks, Megan and Harry. No, it was like, thanks Megan and Harry.
No, it wasn't like, thanks Megan and Harry.
I've changed the tone.
Yeah, you've changed the tone now after we called you out for it.
Thanks Megan and Harry.
Yeah, that's better.
Well done, well done.
Thanks Megan and Harry.
So, happy second birthday to little Archie. I'm with less eye roll.
No, it's good.
It's a lovely message.
So, who's listening to them nowadays?
What do you mean?
Are we all listening to them still?
Meghan and Harry.
Now that they've fully left the royals.
I feel like the public interest will still be there.
Still there?
Yeah, still there.
They're going to do a reality show, surely.
Oh, surely.
Keeping up with it.
Oh, they need to, eh?
That would be so good.
Running with the royals or mixing it with the...
Markles.
Yeah, mixing with the Markles. That's not good, mixing with the Markles. Ming it with the Markles. Yeah,
mixing with the Markles.
That's not good,
mixing with the Markles.
Mingling with the Markles.
Yeah,
but they're not
other than the Markles.
Hanging with Harry.
Oh,
hanging with Harry's good.
What are they,
Windsors?
Yeah,
technically,
technically,
sort of.
Winging it
with the wind,
anyway,
we'll do it.
They're Sussexes.
True.
Oh,
yeah.
Soaring with the Sussexes. Oh, yeah. Soaring with the sucksers.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
Hey, we'll do this, but I'll tell you what, we'll offline this,
and we'll pick it up after the show.
That's not the best thing on radio, is it?
A brainstorm?
No, no, no.
And when Bill Gates and his wife Melinda announced their divorce,
on that same day that they announced it,
he transferred nearly $2.4 billion worth of stocks to Melinda on that day,
which included 25 million shares of Coca-Cola,
a bunch of shares in a Mexican broadcaster,
which was kind of interesting.
I don't know why.
So these are shares that he owns.
Yeah, he owns and he's kind of transferred them over to her
so she can keep them and they can keep growing, basically.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That seems like a really amicable... We love saying that word.
Divorce.
Yeah.
So...
It sounds like maybe this was all arranged
before they went public with it.
Like in terms of a divorce settlement.
Gotcha.
You get this, you get this.
On the day of the divorce, we do this.
They had exactly the same press releases, I guess,
on their social media.
They rolled it out like a new Microsoft system or something.
Just flawless.
Flawless release.
100%.
Great PR campaign.
And then they had control, alt, delete, and shut the relationship down.
And that is five.
For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz.
Experts in semi-accurate, half-remembered information.
Vaguely known information, but maybe not correct.
Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits.
Talking a little bit this week about Bill Gates from Microsoft
and his wife Melinda breaking up after 27 years.
Just read a pretty good social media tweet
explaining the reason why they broke up.
Melinda Gates was fed up with PC culture.
That was quite good.
That was quite good.
That is beautiful
Speaking of good little things
I wonder if she'll go Apple now
The whole time she's probably like
Oh I just want to use an iPad
Well someone said that the other day
That was another great tweet
I bet she's buying up large
In an Apple store right now
I saw someone say that
Bill Gates is recently single
And then the Queen is also recently single
So imagine if they got together
She's like 99 isn't she single and then the Queen is also recently single so imagine if they got single.
She's like 99 isn't she?
Punching 30 years above is
I suppose you could.
Speaking of people sending
you things from the internet, your parents,
Producer Juliet, love to send you
something. Yeah, so we have a family
WhatsApp chat.
I love it when the parents discover
WhatsApp because they document everything
to the whole group.
Look, Dad's made a roast chicken. There's a
photo of Dad pulling out the chicken from the
oven. Yeah, it's very entertaining
but a trend that I've noticed
in our family WhatsApp group is that
my mum will send top tips
and my dad will send dad
quotes of the day.
And every time mum says, oh, top tip, I just think of tip top ice cream and then I get hungry.
But some of the ones that she's sent are just such motherly sort of things.
You were reading them out yesterday.
It sounds like they come straight from a self-help website.
This is for you and what, your other siblings as well?
Yes, yes.
And just my immediate family.
Top tip, when grilling in the oven
never fully close the oven door
as the grill is so hot that you may have a fire
or at the very least burn your
dish. Top tip, dad was
not aware. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Why would they
invent ovens that you can't just have the
door shut when you're using them? Yeah, I know. See this is why
I'm not sure if mum's checked her facts.
It feels like that would be a huge fire hazard anyway.
Yeah.
I do vaguely remember back in the day,
parents go, leave the door open.
But now I'm sure technology's moved on.
Surely it's fine.
Leave the oven door shut.
Yeah.
Maybe our oven is just too hot.
Top tip.
Dad was not aware that one should always stand up
when someone comes into the room
when you're at someone else's house
or if they come into your home.
It makes people feel respected.
Yeah, no, standing up's a big thing, isn't it?
Top plant tip.
Put six cubes of ice on a plant once a week and it keeps it looking good.
Thanks, Mother.
That's quite good, though, eh?
Yeah, pretty good.
And then top tip.
If you need to cough and do not have a tissue,
it has been advised to cough into your elbow.
Thanks, Mother.
We learned that a year ago.
Wasn't there a top tip you were reading out yesterday
about how you should post your online content
to keep everyone interested in it?
Oh, yes.
It was top tip.
When sharing a post on Facebook,
always write the reason why someone should watch you
what you've shared or read what you've shared
because otherwise they'll just scroll past.
Yeah, I love it that your parents are trying to teach their millennials
how to use social media.
I'm just trying to teach my parents not to turn the phone off
every time they use it.
So you're doing better.
Well, there you go.
The joys of group comms, eh?
I know.
So good.
So good.
Want more Jono and Ben?
You can catch up with the boys anytime.
Just search Jono and Ben. You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook.
Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is the B**** News.
Thank you for that friendly reminder.
It's like my calendar.
It's kind of an audio version of a calendar.
Oh, it's good to know these things.
And it's also good to work out these headlines.
These are actual news headlines from around the world.
Some of the more unusual news that producer Julia has found.
She's beeped out a word and we have to guess what that word is to make up the headline.
Belgian farmer accidentally moves.
I'm going to say Belgian farmer accidentally moves
judges on a reality show to tears, you know?
It's one of those contestants that comes on,
you're like, they're never going to do well,
and then they...
Yeah, and then motion music starts.
Every time, you know what's coming, but you fall for it and you love it.
Oh, that's good.
I'm going to say Belgian farmer accidentally moves Madagascar DVD,
taking on board the theme song, I like to move it, move it.
One of my favourite theme tunes.
I was like, this was a long runway.
It was a long play for that.
Yeah, that was great, that was great.
Belgian farmer accidentally moves French border.
So he lives on the border of, obviously, France and Belgium,
and there's a stone that marks the border,
and it got on his tractor's way.
So instead of going around the border on his tractor,
he stopped, got out, moved the little,
it's almost like a concrete block,
and moved it just to keep driving.
And the Belgian mayor of that little town was very stoked.
They were like, we've made Belgium bigger and France smaller.
We're happy.
Google's going to have to readjust the maps.
Yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, that's a big claim.
If I was him, I'd be like, yep, I'll move the border.
Isn't there, like, the border between Mexico and America?
I know Donald Trump, he's going to put a wall up. I think he did build
some wall. He did, you know, partially the way,
but then they can just walk around the wall now, so it's
but you can just literally walk between the two,
can't you? Well, I think in some places
you can, in other places you can't, depending
where it is. You can't walk between the two because then
they arrest you, don't they? Well, you're not meant to.
No, yeah, but you could.
Um, yeah. If you dress up as a bush or
something. And the next news story.
Japanese town spent COVID relief funds on building...
I'm going to go Japanese town spent COVID relief funds
on building another giant Olympic stadium
that may or may not be used.
Yeah, well, it's going to have no fans in it, isn't it?
Is it going ahead?
It is.
Apparently at the moment it's still going ahead,
but no fans.
And I think the athletes pretty much within 48 hours of having their event have to be gone.
That's so sad.
Because, you know, they don't want people to mingle and stuff.
You know the rumours, what they say about the Olympic Village.
Well, it won't be happening this year.
Very promiscuous.
It won't be happening this year.
I don't really know about this one.
I'm going to say Japan town spent relief funds on building a giant bidet.
Japanese town spent COVID relief funds on building giant squid.
Giant squid.
So this Japanese town, it's usually quite reliant on tourism,
and because of the lack of tourists, they built this giant squid,
spent $300,000.
It's 13 metres, I think, and it looks hideous,
but everyone's going and taking photos of it so it's working.
It's like the L&P bottle in
Pairoa. Pretty much.
Why did you say giant bidet?
Because you used one.
I thought that was one of my favourite things over there in Japan.
Just such a great experience.
It's like a water blaster for your bottom
isn't it? They need to bring them to New Zealand.
Why aren't they a thing here?
I imagine you could get them but they're not as common
as they are over there, yeah.
At least make the toilet seat warm.
Like, that should be
a thing everywhere.
Yeah.
A heated toilet seat
is just a game changer.
And the final story.
Becoming a part-time
****
is a big trend in China.
Part-time influencer?
Hashtag ad?
Hashtag spons?
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know, part-time model, train enthusiast.
I've got nothing on this one, Joe.
Becoming a part-time mermaid is a big trend in China.
Oh, really?
So the world's largest scuba diving organisation
is now instructing free divers in mermaiding,
which is basically free diving deep,
but with a big, heavy mermaid tail on you
so it's probably harder and
a hundred people all did it
at once for a show and then broke the record for
the largest underwater mermaid show
so that's now a thing.
The mermaids, we've discussed it
before, why have they ended up with a fish
bottom and a
human torso? But that's
the way to go though, right? Yeah, other way
around, no go. Well, what if I liked human
legs and a fish? I'm sure there
might be an option for you, but most people would
probably go with the other option
I would imagine. But regardless, if
you fall in love with a mermaid, it's still like half
a fish. True. Like logistically,
what was that movie? The Little Mermaid.
The Little Mermaid, yeah. With the prince. Yeah. He fell in love
with a little mermaid. But then she had some magic, The Little Mermaid, yeah. With the prince. Yeah. He fell in love with the Little Mermaid.
But then she had some magic,
the magic that she was on land without the tail.
Yeah.
She wasn't full tail on land.
Yeah, right.
So people weren't going,
oh, you're dating half a fish.
No. He wasn't getting judged by the rest of society.
No.
What's that little thing you're talking about?
Sorry, it's a horn here.
I should really get it out of my hand
because it's going to annoy the rest of you
for the remainder of the show. I don't know who left this horn here. I should really get it out of my hand because it's going to annoy the rest of you for the remainder of the show.
I don't know who left this horn here.
And those are actual news headlines from around the world.
From stealing Mike Hosking's car
to stealing the hearts of New Zealand.
Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits.
Actual hearts being not bestowed.
That's the name game.
I'm frantically Googling both of us during that song
because we get someone to give us a call on 0800THEHITS,
tell us their name,
and then we have to present them with some clues
to other famous people with that same name.
But we quickly Google it in the song
just to try and get a bit of a run-up,
a bit of a head start, and it's so hard.
There's a lot of unnecessary pressure
at 6.30 in the morning on us, isn't there?
Sheesh.
My heart's going. All right. Let's bring lot of unnecessary pressure at 6.30 in the morning on us, isn't it? Sheesh. My heart's going.
Hi.
All right, let's bring James on from Rotorua.
Morena, how are you?
Morena, boys, how are you?
Oh, great to have you on, James.
How's Vegas this morning?
Oh, a bit makariri, Jono, a bit makariri, mate.
Now, there's a new show called Vegas coming out, isn't there?
Yeah, I think on TV too, yeah.
It looks good.
I saw the ad for it.
Yeah, it does look awesome.
All right. Yeah, it's pretty good. Okay,. It looks good. I saw the ad for it. Yeah, it does look awesome. All right.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Okay, James,
so we're going to get the clock going.
30 seconds, mate.
As many famous Jameses as you can name.
Let's start the timer.
John, I'm trying to get some clothes.
Here you go.
Okay, he sailed the Endeavour to New Zealand
and brought many venereal diseases to our shores.
James Cook.
Well done.
He was a famous singer,
no longer sort of a funk singer.
He sort of didn't button up his shirt back in the day.
I'll move on.
You won't know him as this.
You won't know him as a James,
but he's an actor and a rapper,
and he stars on NCIS, LL...
Cool J.
Boom.
The Prime Minister of Canada,
not actually known as James.
Oh. What? Justin Trudeau not actually known as James. Oh.
What?
Justin Trudeau as James Trudeau.
Really?
Yeah.
That was a bit fast, eh?
That was a bit.
That went too fast, James.
That 30 seconds went so fast.
I'll give you a bonus one.
He was the lead singer of The Doors.
Oh.
Didn't wear a shirt.
Spent most of his...
I see James as well.
Here's a little Jim.
Yeah.
Nah, pass on that one.
Jim Morrison.
Okay, we've got two there.
Not too bad, James.
We'll bring Brad in from Richmond and Nelson.
How are you, Brad?
Yeah, awesome, Coz.
Nelson's a great area, isn't he?
Yeah, lovely.
I love Nelson.
Yeah, nice and sunny.
Yeah, the novelty's probably worn off for you.
You live there. Yeah. All right, Brad, I'm going. Yeah, nice and sunny. Yeah, the novelty's probably worn off for you. You live there.
Yeah.
All right, Brad, I'm going to throw out some clues for famous Brads,
and you've got to see if you can answer as many as you can in 30 seconds.
Try and beat two, all right?
He's a famous actor in Fight Club, was with Jennifer Aniston.
Brad Pitt.
Yeah, Brad Pitt.
Another famous actor in The Hangover and A Star is Born.
We'll move on.
Board games like Monopoly and Connect Four were made by Milton and?
Bradley.
Yeah, he's the host of The Chase on TV One.
Brad.
It's all Brad.
Okay, Canterbury rugby player, also a Brisbane Bronco.
Are you thorn in my side?
Oh, it's two a piece
Two a piece
Two a piece
Listen
We'll bring James back on too
Juju if possible mate
That's hard eh
James and Brad
It's a Friday
And we're a show
That doesn't like to
Disappoint anyone
Because we're shallow
Radio announcers
It fuels our egos
To know that people
May or may not like us
But we're going to give you Both a $200 Trade Depot voucher Okay Awesome Thank you very much It fuels our egos to know that people may or may not like us.
But we're going to give you both a $200 Trade Depot voucher, okay?
Awesome.
Thank you very much.
No worries.
Thank you so much for listening.
Have a great weekend, all right?
You too, lads.
Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben.
Breakfast on the Hefts.
The Hefts.
Scrolling through your feed.
If you like your news updates presented by a broadcaster who's barely awake,
well, then I not so proudly present Ben Boyce.
Come on in.
The Chiefs, Crusaders, it's all on the line tomorrow night.
The Super Rugby Aotearoa final taking place tomorrow night.
So about 7 o'clock, I think, kick off.
Pretty quick season, is it?
I don't know.
I've missed all games.
Well, I guess because there's only five teams. Yeah, five teams in the New Zealand competition.
But next week, the competition starts with Australian teams,
which would be good as well.
So, new competition, Super Rugby.
But, yeah, complete this one this week.
And it's so good to see the Chiefs turn things around
because last year wasn't so good for the Chiefs.
So, to see them in the final and doing really well is awesome.
I remember you making all sorts of jokes about the Chiefs last year.
That's not me.
Yeah, all sorts of...
Not me.
Oh, Sam Kane this,
Sam Kane that.
No.
You're like,
he shouldn't be all black.
No.
He shouldn't be all black, Captain.
That's what you were telling me.
No way.
You're like,
can I write a piece
in the Herald about this?
Move aside, Chris Rattou.
I want to say some words
about Sam Kane.
That's what you were saying
on the radio.
Anyway.
At first I was like,
did I make jokes about the Chiefs? And then you started talking more. I was like Anyway. At first I was like, did I make jokes with the Chiefs?
And then you started talking more.
I was like, okay, no, I didn't.
No, he didn't make jokes
with the Chiefs.
But that's fantastic.
Isn't it amazing
that you can turn a team around
in the space of under a year?
Yeah, because they even had
not the best start to the season
this season,
but they really have,
yeah, performed really well.
I think it was our little trip
to Hamilton.
Remember we had a couple
of Chiefs players in?
Oh, Anton Leonard-Brown.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
And you picked it up again.
You said you wouldn't pick it back up.
I left this horn.
I was wondering what that noise was.
Someone has left this horn here.
Yeah.
Possibly, this is the only thing worse than the recorder that I have in my bag.
But you're like, you said, I won't pick it up during the thing,
but then you picked this trip up again.
I can't help picking it up.
I'm going to put it away.
I'll put it away.
Take it away from me. It's gone. Never again. You said it last time. I know. I picked it up. I can't help but picking it up. I'm going to put it away. I'll put it away. Take it away from me.
It's gone.
Never again.
Last time.
I know.
I tried it.
And I heard a little
through that chat.
Anyway,
that was two guys
vaguely talking about
the rugby final this weekend.
I found this really interesting.
Steve Jobs, of course,
was one of the creators
of Apple.
You know,
the Apple computers,
Apple iPhones.
Loved a black skivvy job,
didn't he?
He did.
And he didn't. Him and his, didn't he? He did.
And he didn't.
Him and his wife didn't let their kids use iPads.
What?
He's the creator of Apple.
They thought they were too addictive for children and hard to resist, even for most adults.
He's happy with everyone else's kids using them, though.
Yeah, so it was interesting.
And as well as things like they were right also
about cyberbullying and harmful things on the internet.
So it seems unusual that the people that helped,
their company was part of creating iPads, didn't their kids use it?
It's almost like it's not listening to the radio.
You're like, how do you not listen to the radio?
Well, they don't, but for other reasons that we embarrass them.
That's interesting.
What's your iPad usage with your children?
Do they use devices?
Yeah, as I said before, I've got them on the family system,
so I have to approve.
I love the power.
A little bit of power that he has in his life.
Approving all their apps, no matter where they are.
Yeah, it's so much fun.
I love iPads.
I'm going to say I love them.
Yeah, iPads have raised my kids to be wonderful children.
Thank you.
Thank you, Steve Jobs.
I appreciate it.
That is scrolling through your feed this morning.
Some of the news vaguely glossed over from Jono and Ben.
They're proud of New Zealand.
Go New Zealand.
If only New Zealand was proud of them.
Jono and Ben.
New Zealand's breakfast.
On the hits.
Bye.
Thanks to HP, who have launched Instant Ink, New Zealand's first on the hits. Bye. Thanks to HP,
who have launched Instant Ink,
New Zealand's first at-home ink subscription service.
Here's our adopted daughter,
and she's doing her chores right now,
which also just happens to be
our celebrity news update,
and after this,
you need to make your bed, okay,
Producer Juliet?
Thank you, I will, I will.
So yesterday,
we were talking about Ben Affleck
DMing a girl,
an influencer on Instagram after she unmatched him
from celebrity dating app called Raya or Raya.
And now Matthew Perry, a video of him has been leaked
FaceTiming someone who he matched with on this dating app
and he played 20 questions with her.
Now it was a video someone was recording from the side of the computer very subtly,
so he didn't know that he was being filmed,
and this is the only clip that's been released.
Do you always play with your hair this much?
I guess so, yeah.
Do you always play with your hair this much
was one of the questions he asked.
Is that a bit of a stitch-up on Matthew Perry?
What's the legalities around that?
I don't know, I don't know. Seems a bit of a stitch up on Matthew Perry? Is that, what's the legalities around that? I don't know, I don't know.
So.
Seems a bit like.
I think people are probably, because it's a celebrity dating app and influencers can use it,
influencers may be taking advantage of the fact that they're finding out probably information about these celebrities or whatever.
I always find that when people like put about DMs and they put them out, you know,
like they go, oh, these persons do that and they put screenshots., you know, like, oh, these persons, they put screenshots.
You're like, well, that's kind of a private conversation.
Yeah.
Very naughty.
It's a privacy, yeah.
All that makes me lead to believe is Ben's hiding stuff he doesn't want me to film.
We have a lot of chats about you at our DMs.
Yeah, right.
What's going on, guys?
Everything's great.
Everything's great.
What are you not wanting to get out there?
It's all under wraps. Well, what's going on, guys? Everything's great. Everything's great. What are you not wanting to get out there? It's all under wraps.
Well, that's...
I reckon this is the start of, like...
I reckon more stuff, more FaceTimes and DMs and stuff
will become public.
With celebrities.
Yeah, but then, you know, you go back to...
We all reflect on how the media treated Britney Spears
as she was growing up.
And we're all like, on our high horse,
how do you do that?
Yeah.
So, you know,
this is just the same sort of thing,
really, isn't it?
Yeah, totally.
Just because Matthew Perry's famous
I know.
means you can film him
having a conversation.
I know.
Good point.
It's interesting.
And Mark Wahlberg,
he has talked about how he had to,
and has posted on Instagram,
the transformation he's had in his body for a new movie role. So he's had to, and has posted on Instagram, the transformation he's had in his body
for a new movie role.
So he's had to eat over 7,000 calories a day
to put on weight for this role.
And he has a whole team behind him
that decides what he eats and monitors his health
because he has to put it on so quickly.
And he's a healthy guy.
He's up at like 2.45 a.m. working out, isn't he?
He's got a wild routine. He's in bed by 5.30. He's up at 2..45 a.m. working out, isn't he? He's got a wild routine.
He's in bed by 5.30.
He's up at 2.30.
He's gymming all the time usually,
but now he has to put on a bit of weight
and it actually is a big process that they've looked into.
He goes to bed after the chase.
He doesn't get to the news.
That's how early he's got to bed.
Actually, he was on a talk show, I think, in the U.S.,
I think with Jimmy Kimmelmel talking about this role.
And I think his team obviously wanted, they want to do it healthily
because it's not good for you to balloon that much in weight
over a short period of time.
But he was like, in some ways, and he wanted to just eat all the things
and drink all the things that he hasn't been able to do for years.
He's like, I want fried chicken.
I want beers.
I want to go.
This is my chance.
Because he's so diligent.
Because he eats so healthily usually.
Yeah, he's like, I've got three weeks,
I'm going to go hard. Let's blow out.
We should put the before and after shots on the
Hits Instagram. That is wild what three
weeks of bad eating can do.
That's only three weeks.
And then imagine the opposite of that. There are so many stars
who would have to lose a bunch
of weight to fit
a role as well. And that would be just as hard.
But you wouldn't be able to lose that amount in
three weeks. No. That's the
depressing thing about losing weight.
It's like, well if you can do it in three weeks
yeah, we'd all be king.
You can put it on so easily.
We'll chuck it up on our story there, Hits Breakfast
and you can check it out, Mark Wahlberg.
And that is Spy from WeekendEarToTheHits.co.nz
Wrapping up our show on a Friday
make sure you have a wonderful weekend out there. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and happy weekend to the hits.co.nz. We're wrapping up our show on a Friday. Make sure you have a wonderful weekend out there.
Yeah, happy Mother's Day to all the mothers
and happy weekend to the weekenders.
Want more Jono and Ben?
You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits
and via the iHeartRadio app.
Jono and Ben on the hits breakfast.
Friends of Skinny.
Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.