Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 11 - Michael Chetner, BoozetalkZB, What Lengths Did You Take To Meet A Celebrity?

Episode Date: May 10, 2020

We're doing a Zoom-A-Thon Ben Barrington called inWhat lengths did you take to meet a celebrity?SpyShow FeedbackBoozetalkZBMichael Chetner from Zoom called inScrolling Through Your Feed Controversial CalloutsSpyThe A To Z Of New ZealandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast on a Monday. It's good to have you with us. We like to brag how we're number one on iHeartRadio. We like to do that first and foremost. We're not, but anyway, we also like to check if we're still on our old company's emails. Oh yeah, this is day two of the update. We brought you up to speed the other day that our old company's emails. Oh, yeah, this is day two of the update. We brought you up to speed the other day

that our old company, MediaWorks, they've still got us on their company-wide email, so we still receive electronic mail for them. I don't know if they know, but we keep mentioning it. We mention it on the podcast to see if it'll come back to them. Yeah, a little Easter egg. Okay, and we get a lot of salacious gossip from the officers at MediaWorks.

Here's one for you. In the subject line, does anyone have a hairdryer at work? So there you go. They're looking for a hairdryer over there. Obviously, their hair's quite wet at their company. Come over here. I've always said, we've got the driest hair over here at NZ Meat. So they're looking around the company for a hairdryer.

Look at my hair, Ben. There's none of it there. It's dry. It's how dry it is. So dry. Laminator has been borrowed from reception. Return it immediately. I've never laminated anything.

I've always wanted. It's a life goal. J immediately I've never laminated anything I've always wanted It's a life goal Juju have you laminated anything Producer Julia Maybe like once in primary school And it was probably the greatest day of my life Yeah The greatest day of your life

It's like when Ben did an experiment And boiled an egg and then bounced it And he said it was the greatest day of his life I did say it was the greatest day of my life And so that's some of the salacious emails We were getting around from MediaWorks. Well, wet hair, missing laminators. What is the future of that company?

I don't know. In the doldrums, if you ask me. We've got a good show for you today. It's lots of fun. We've got Ben Barrington, Dr. Drew McCaskill from Shortland Street. He joins us. They're back to work. They're filming again.

But a lot of weird conditions, obviously, surrounding the filming under a COVID-19 environment. And, Ben, we started last week Booze Talks ZB where we phoned the Talkback radio station News Talks ZB

sounding inebriated to see how long the hosts will leave us on air for. Ben, wow. What an attempt. I have a shocker, guys. He phones the parenting show drunk.

Have a listen to that and enjoy the podcast. We'll catch you tomorrow. The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben's Lost and Found. Now we are still in an empty building. We are that way until maybe level two.

So at the moment we've found a Dyson supersonic hair dryer. It's valued at $599. The supersonic hair. It sounds like it should be a member of the Avengers. Yeah, brand new. And if you want to win it, you've got to answer all five hair-related questions. That's right.

My only incident with a hairdryer that really traumatised me for the remainder of my life, we were staying in a motel in Napier with my mum and dad. Yeah. And Annie used the motel hairdryer, got her hair stuck inside it. Oh, really? And Dad had to go to reception

and get some scissors from the reception and cut. It got stuck in the motor. So yeah, hairdryer stuck to her top of the head. So is that the reason you've never... That's why I stopped growing hair from that day forward. You're like, no more hair for me. Alicia is on the phone from Taranaki. Good morning and welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Alicia.

Thank you. Great to have you on. Have you ever had your hair stuck in a hairdryer? No, I haven't. Well, I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. I tell you what, seeing that firsthand.

Okay, Alicia, we have a series of questions for you if you get them all correct. That supersonic hairdryer is all yours, okay? That'll be awesome, thank you. All right, your first question, what colour hair does Marge Simpson have?

Oh, there we go. One from one. Nice one, Alicia. What colour hair does Bradley Walsh from The Chase have? That's a random question. Brown. Brown, yes. Well done.

Are these all just going to be what colour hair does Donald Trump have? Orange. Orange. We'll give you that one. And Orange. We'll give you that one. We'll give you that one. Okay, the questions get a little bit harder for the last two questions. Dyson's headquarters are in which country?

We'll need your answer. UK? England? She's right, but it was... OK, we'll give it to you. We'll give it to you. Last question. This one we're going to have to be very strict on the three-second timer.

John Travolta played which character in the 2007 remake of Hairspray? Two. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You just ran out of sorry. I'm so sorry. You just ran out of time. I'm sorry. Thanks.

Oh. I don't want to talk. I hate you. You need to get a Mother's Day present. Oh. Don't bloody start this game. You know our weakness. I know.

You know. We'll find something for you, but it won't be the Dyson. Narcissistic radio announcers just want to please people. Yeah, we do. She knows our weakness. Oh, yeah. Hold the line. We'll find something for you but it won't be the Dyson narcissistic radio announcers just want to please people yeah we do she knows our weakness oh yeah we'll find something hold the line

we'll find something for you that Dyson hairdryer up for grabs again tomorrow at 7 o'clock why are we finding something for her we'll find something for her just because she said I didn't hear them

on Mother's Day she bullied us into a some sort of gift I almost gave her the Dyson hey just be happy that I didn't good on you Alicia have a wonderful day

thank you for listening remember to double pump the Virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. We want you in our room. Talk the night together. That may then last forever.

So start at 8 o'clock. No breaks, no sleeps. We're just going to keep going as long as we can. Yeah, and we want to do this, hopefully we go to level 2, 11.59 Wednesday night. This could be the last Zoom call on level three and the world's longest Zoom meeting. It's like, Ben, we spend a lot of time together,

but we find ways to spend more time together. No. Do we not? Like, I like spending time with you. Thank you. Don't. Stop. Okay.

No, you're going to carry on and say something. I was just going to say, maybe we should spend less time together, not spend over 48 hours together on a Zoom call. Yeah, well, who knows how long it's going to go for. We've done a couple of these over the years. We've stayed awake for various reasons. I was thinking about those before.

We drove bumper cars through the night and there was a period, about an hour and a half, where we didn't talk. No. Like, we just, we drove around a loop. You remember that? Yeah, I do. In toilets half, where we didn't talk. We drove around a loop. You remember that? In silence and just hating life. And then we were with the staff from Rainbow's End and we were all just

throwing a sponge ball and catching it while driving bumper cars, but no one said a word for about 90 minutes. Normally in a bumper car you're like, yeah, this is fun, but we're just like no. I was like, end me now. I want to get head-on collision in this bumper car. Another time we stayed out through the night,

we did some interviews on TV as well, and a big running storyline was your conjunctivitis. Yeah, I had a bout of conjunctivitis, producer Juliette, at the time. It was rampant. No, you had it, and then it went away, but you didn't take your full course of medication, and this was your problem.

Yeah, and I had quite a weepy eye. Always take the full course of medicine, Jono. Even the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, came on and she told you off. She told me off, yeah. We got into it. This was just, I think it was the same week that Labour announced that they were going to put her forward as the Prime Minister or candidate. And she came on because we had booked her pre that and we're like, sucker, got you beforehand.

And yeah, gee, I got a right roasting from her, didn't I? She's like, you've got to finish your full course of antibiotics. And yeah, so I got told off by the Prime Minister. I remember us being very delirious.

Oh, that's the thing because you do stay awake and you get, it's like without even drinking, you feel like you've been drinking. You forget bits, you get angry.

You got angry at me because I wanted a Don Boring. Yeah, oh geez, I was fired up for that Don Boring. I was like, eat your Don Boring. You're being Don Boring, I, I was fired up about Don Boring. I was like, eat your Don Boring! You're being Don Boring!

I think you said to me. Enough talking about Don Boring. These are the things that I got annoyed with you because you took off your uniform. I was like, the All Blacks would take the uniform off mid-game. I don't know why I got annoyed but when you're sleep deprived, you just suddenly start going, oh. Do you go through the waves of all the different emotions?

Is that what happens? Yeah, it seems to be like. The wheels fall off quite early, don't they? I mean, the wheels fell off as radio show day one. Still just scraping along the motorway, whatever this is we're doing. But, okay, name the most annoying thing about me, Ben, and then I'll do the same thing for you.

Breathing. Eh? Breathing. I'm sorry. He doesn't like the way I breathe. You know, it's not, like, you can breathe. That's fine. Like, I don't want you to not breathe. I'm sorry for doing the basic human function of breathing. But you have a breathing thing where you're not. I go through my nose.

Yeah, yeah. Like a little gerbil or something. And after 28 hours together or something, you're like. I was like, oh, jeez, I wish I'd just stopped breathing. That's what I'm thinking. I don't even voice it until now. One time I woke up, I just saw this pillow slowly going in my head.

Why won't you stop breathing? No, I don't want you to stop breathing. Just audibly breathing. It's like you need to breathe. Like everything else in your life, you're a showman. You're like, I know I'm breathing and everyone will hear me. Do you want to know the most annoying thing I find about you? No.

Yeah, okay. It's your generosity. Oh, stop it. It's too a fault. He's too generous. He's got such a big heart. And sometimes I like people take advantage of that. And that's what really annoys me about you.

Because I just said something like breathing and now I look like a small human being. Yeah. He's too kind, Juliet. And people take advantage of that. Oh, that's just sad. It is sad, yes. Okay, right,

wrapping that up. The Zoomathon, it starts eight o'clock. Please follow our journey. It's going to be online at the Hits Breakfast. You can watch the whole thing and you can listen to it

all over the Hits and iHeartRadio. Yeah, we got hold of the head of Zoom as well. We got so many questions like where did this thing come from? Where was it six weeks ago?

He's going to be joining us after eight. Serving bowls of loels for breakfast. Actual loels may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. We find out four o'clock today if we're going to drop to level two. A lot of people think if it happens, it will kick in on Thursday. But New Zealand's favourite drama, Shortland Street,

is back. They're filming again. Very few people around and a few changes behind the scenes due to strict filming instructions, obviously. And joining us on the phone right now to talk more, Dr Drew McCaskill, Ben Barrington. How's it going? Yeah, it's pretty weird.

It's kind of pretty strange. Not a great way to sell the show, mate. It's pretty weird. I don't know. But only the people who have to be there are there. It's all the writing staff and the script editors. They're all just working from home. But they're pumping

out the scripts. I can imagine because you guys would have been a little bit behind for obvious reasons during lockdown. Yeah, we normally have about eight or nine weeks in the can. Ahead of time. So of, the longer we're on lockdown, you know, those episodes start to run out.

So that's why TVNZ just pulled the show back to three nights a week. Ben Barry, do we hear there's no more, you know, there's no more sexy scenes, there's no more kissing and stuff like that? But I was thinking you guys have got the perfect workaround because as medical professionals, you wear face masks, so surely the kissing can happen through masks.

Yeah, I mean, that would... Could you have intimate scenes in a... in a surgery, in a... Leave the mask on. What about some light spanking with the stethoscope? Oh, I see. Just work around, just work around. It's just Ed living here in the writer's room.

Two metres away, though, alright. Two metres away, yeah. How do you guys come up with this stuff? As a doctor on the show, you're working on a vaccine or anything like that for COVID. Is that written into the storyline? Well, not for me because I'm a plastic surgeon. Yeah, true, true.

We're just not getting people coming in because, you know, at times people are watching me spinning and my numbers are down. You're here for breast enhancements, mate, not trying to solve a pandemic. Stay in your lane, Dr. Drew McCaskill. And so we have heard the rumour that you're having to do all your own make-up now. Yeah, yeah, so that's an interesting one. Fortunately for me, I'm married to a woman who works for a cosmetics and skincare company.

So she's a trained make-, so she doesn't mind. She doesn't mind at home when I get in the car and drive into work. We've got Ben Barrington with us talking Shortland Street and other things because I read last night doing some research on you, Ben, that you got told off during Lord of the Rings while that was being filmed. Yeah, that was sort of a significant milestone in my acting career. What happened then was I was personally directed

by Peter Jackson one day as an extra on The Two Towers, the second installment of The Ordering. But he told me, Peter Jackson told me to stop acting because I was apparently taking the focus away from Frodo Baggins. Like, giving it a bit too much scenery in the background. So you're overacting, basically. So was he like, hey, mate, tone the acting down just a bit?

Or was he like, stop acting, full stop, like, get another career? Stop acting. It was horrifying. There was hundreds of people on the set of this big film and extras, you know, like some of the main cast and everything. And he got up, they called cut on the, they ran this take of this particular scene that was all about Frodo Baggins. And Peter Jackson got up and he walked over

and whispered in the air of his first AD. And the first AD went, okay, Peter. And then she went, who was it who was standing over here? Which one of you was standing over here? Sorry to stop you there, but at that moment, were you like, oh, okay, Peter. And then she went, who was it who was standing over here? Which one of you was standing over here? So, hey, Ben, sorry to stop you there, but at that moment where you're like, oh, that was me, this could be like, you're amazing. We're going to replace Frodo with this guy.

This is the moment when he goes, can you just read this line? That's not what happened. Oh, no, that was me. Yeah, that was, she just goes, don't act. Just walk past. Don't act. Don't act. Oh, so Peter, she just goes, don't act. Just walk past. Don't act. Don't act. Oh, so Peter Jackson himself didn't even want to give you the courtesy of telling you off.

He went through someone else. He's like, I just can't even look at this. Can't even deal with that guy. Costing me millions of dollars. Get him out of my face. Yeah, you probably literally just cost a reduction of 50 grand. Oh, well, who knew that guy would end up being Dr. Drew McCaskill on Shortland Street? I know, right?

I know. I see he'd be watching Shortland Street now, of course. Yeah, and he'd be like, damn it, I missed. I made the wrong call there. Made the wrong call there. That overacting. That overacting. Where have I seen that before?

And lastly, Ben Barrett, you met Prince Harry at some stage, is that right? Yeah, yeah. Well, Prince Harry, you know, big fan of Outrageous Fortune. Right. Prince Harry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Was he?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so Prince Harry, you know, approached me one day and said, Hey, listen, you know, I just wouldn't mind just showing my appreciation to you and just telling you how much I enjoy it. No, if only. Hold on, Peter Jackson's just whispering in my ear now. Peter Jackson's just whispering in my ear now. I think he's acting again.

Wrap him up. I'll tell him, I'll tell him. I'm sorry, mate, you're going to have to go, Ben Barrington. You're a bloody good man, Ben Barrington. And Drew McCaskill from Shoreland Street. So you're filming today? You're heading to have to go, Ben Barrington. You're a bloody good man, Ben Barrington. Drew McCaskill from Shoreland Street. So you're filming today? You're heading out today? I'm not there today.

I'm not there today. I was there yesterday. I'm there tomorrow. We're shooting a lot less content at the moment because the numbers of people in the building are cut right back. There's just not as many people to do all that logistical on-the- the floor stuff.

So we're shooting out at a much slower pace. Right, there we go. We're looking forward to the all new five minute episodes of Shortland Street coming up.

Now available on TikTok and also TVNZ. Ben Barrington, stay safe and we look forward to catching up with you when we can soon. Thank you for having me.

Lovely chatting. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Zoom, check, check, check the Zoom. Check, check, check, check Zoom. On Wednesday, we're going for the world's longest Zoom video call. It starts at 8 o'clock, our Zoomathon,

and we don't know when it's going to stop, and we're frantically trying to book some people. You know, we're going to take just, you know, random people throughout the day and night, but at the same time, we want to, you know, pep up through a few big New Zealand celebs, all blacks, actors, musicians, politicians, comedians, all people throughout the day and night. But at the same time, we want to, you know, pep up through a few big New Zealand celebs, all blacks, actors, musicians, politicians, comedians, all joining us on the Zoomathon.

Ben, you have been cyber-stalking people. I have. And then he cyber-bullies them going, I've got some incriminating photos of you, so you better join us for our Zoom marathon. And that's how we're booking the guests. It's going well. It's going well so far.

So excited guests. Pretty extreme lengths, actually, to get a hold of these celebrities. And then we were just talking about this in the office, and producer Juliette said, piped up and said, the extreme lengths she went to to meet her favourite celebrity. Yeah, this was about seven years ago. I paid $500 of my hard-earned pocket money to meet Justin Bieber.

So you actually paid this yourself? Yeah. $500. I know. He was coming for a show or something, and I was like, I want to be VIP. Got, like, second row and then got to meet him, and I was, like, freaking out.

I was absolutely... So you mean I was freaking... You met him before the concert or after the concert? Yes, before the concert. I can't imagine Bieber being that enthusiastic about meeting and greeting fans. I think he went through a phase. When we met him a few years ago, he was great. I think he'd gone past that sort of, you know,

I don't give a crap sort of phase. He punched us in the gins, didn't he? He flicked us playfully. That's fun. I always say I've never washed them since. We didn't pay $500 for that. We probably should have, to be honest. Sam, I should have been working for you back then.

What was he like? Oh, I don't even think he said anything to me. It was literally like you walk in, you pose, you put your arm around him, pose for the photo, and then you're escorted off. You wouldn't put your arm around him now. Social distancing. Yeah, true, true.

And so that was the $500 gone. And then I experienced the concert afterwards. You got a good photo. Yeah, and he looked me in the eyes during the show because I was second row and I nearly died right there. Nearly, literally died. Was he looking you dead in the eyes, was he? I'm going to claim that he was. And yeah.

Well, that was a shocking investment. But mind you, I think you have a track record of. Well, that was a shocking investment. But mind you, I think you have a track record of shocking investments, Juliet. Your avocado consumption is astonishing. The amount of avocados this girl is having.

I love avocados. Inside, she's just like a giant jar of guacamole. Well, this is, you're a millennial and this is the stereotype. You've got a house deposit inside your system right now.

I know, I won't be able to buy a house, but it's okay because I've eaten the avocados. It's fine. So we want to know today on 0800 The Hits, the length you've gone to meet a celebrity or an idol. What have you done?

Have you paid $500 like producer Juliet? Have you stalked them on the internet like I have? We've got a friend who was trying to get a hold of Ricky Gervais to do some project with him or whatever, and he had no way of getting a hold of him. So he literally spent three weeks guessing his email. Like every sort of combination. Wow. 187, 188.

Why would you do this for three weeks? Is that even going to be worth it? Well he got him. He got it and Ricky Gervais emailed back going, how did you get this email? And the guy was like, I guessed it. And he just said, lol. So I'm surprised he emailed back because you don't have to say you got it. But yeah, good on him for emailing back.

So that's the link some people have gone to. What have you done? Oh, Andrew, the hits love to hear from you today, or you can text us any stage, 4487. James, you're in Wellington. Welcome to the show, buddy. G'day. Good to have you on.

What did you do? So Brett McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords came into the restaurant that i work at and so i kept uh messing things up so i could go over and talk to him a bit more by the way can i call you brett's been all right oh yeah sure um yeah i've just can you tell me again what you ordered i i think i i lost. He's like, this is the most incompetent waiter I've ever come into contact with. Exactly, but I got to talk to him like five times.

Sorry, what was it again? Mate, I've just told you. You just spill his meal all over his lap. Oh, sorry, I'll get that. I'll pick that up with my hands. Watch your dress just on the dry cleaning. I'll send that out to you. Good on you, James.

Appreciate the effort. There we go. Extra points, I think also. Oh, 800 the hits. out to you. Good on you, James. Appreciate the effort. There we go. Extra points, I think, also. Oh, 800, the hits. If a restraining order was issued, okay, for the lengths you went to meet a celeb, let's head to Tauranga. Jane, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast.

How are you? Good, thanks. How's it going? How good? Is Tauranga lovely this morning? It is. It's beautiful, actually. It never isn't, is it?

Yeah. Wonderful part. Wonderful part of the country. Okay, what did you do? How far did you go to stalk a celeb? When I was little, I was just, well, I think everyone was obsessed with Peter Andre. And just by chance, actually, I didn't even know. He would play a concert when I was down in Christchurch at a hotel once.

And my mum didn't realise. It was back before you could have swipe cards. So I just basically sat in the lift all day, just going up and down, up and down, trying out all the floors until finally on the last day, I ran into him in the lift. What, you lived in a lift for three days

so you could meet Peter Andre? Yeah. That sounds like the best radio promotion ever. It was literally worth it, though. And was he nice? I'll tell you one about it. He was really nice, yeah. I sort of freaked out when I finally saw nice? I'll tell you one about it. He was really nice, yeah.

I mean, I sort of freaked out when I finally saw him and I only just managed to say hi. Please tell me you told him you'd been living in a lift for three days. No, I just tried to play it cool. Isn't that what you're supposed to do with celebrity? Maybe you were the mysterious girl that he wrote the song about all those years ago. I suspect so, yeah.

That's amazing. Well, that memory will live with you forever. There was a room he had pec implants because he had such amazing pecs. Do you know Peter Andre, producer Juliet? No. Oh, gee, he was a very handsome man. I had to Google him just before. I was like, oh, gosh.

Yeah. He had a video where he was shirtless, sort of sauntering around the beach, wasn't he? Yeah, in the water, half in the water. It was very hot. Yeah. I mean, I'd be a mysterious girl for Peter Andre. I don't even know what that means, just saying words.

He's getting me all flustered now, just thinking about him. Thank you for sharing that story with us. Don't forget the Zoomathon happens Wednesday at 8 o'clock. Cindy, you're on the air. What lengths you went to to stalk a celeb? Cindy? Hi! You're on the air. Lengths you went to to stalk a celeb? Cindy?

Hi. You're on the air. Lengths you went to to stalk a celeb, Cindo? Well, I actually stalked you guys when you guys did your TV show. I was having difficulty trying to find out how to get the tickets, so I actually went to the cafe as an audience, and I asked Mike, and Mike actually contacted Ben, and that's actually how I managed to get tickets

to actually go to your show. Oh, wow. Listen, it's a bleak reflection of all of our lives if you're stalking us. It was a good show. I enjoyed it. Oh, thank you very much.

You're the only favourable review we ever received. We finally got it. Hey, thank you, Cindy. I appreciate it. I mean, I would pay someone to stalk me

just so I felt more important about myself. Yeah, we didn't know someone did. I feel like I should give you $. Thank you, Cindy. I appreciate it. I mean, I would pay someone to stalk me, just so I felt more important about myself. Yeah, we didn't know someone did. I feel like I should give you $100 or something, Cindy. Oh, it's always good. You have a lovely day. Thanks for listening. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on

Instagram. Spy. No what's up. Spy.co.nz. Producer Juliette in with some Spy Entertainment news. Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande

have released a new song called Stuck With You. I'm all ahead and drive me insane Maybe run your mouth I still wouldn't change And for the music video they got a bunch of celebrities

and people at home dancing with their partners. A bunch of celebrities like Demi Lovato, Michael Burble, Gwyneth Paltrow and all of them were in the video. The big guns. The big guns. Rolled out the big guns. Did you get asked, Ben? No.

You're a little gun. Sometimes I don't check messages of people I don't follow, so maybe that's, you know. Ben's a little, he's not a big gun, he's a little water pistol. Speaking of big guns, though, Carol Baskin submitted a video of her and her husband dancing, wearing outrageous fur cat things, and they did not put it in the music video.

Justin tweeted it and was like, oh, Carol Baskin. Killed her husband. Whacked him. And Ariana Grande Replied being like For the record I did not allow Or approve this clip To be in the actual video

But nonetheless It exists And that's unique And it's a real Yeah So they wanted to be Part of it Would have been a good cameo

I would have put it in the video Yeah Would you have put it in the video? Yeah I think so Yeah She's a big name She's a big gun at the moment Exactly

Have you seen their wedding photos? Carol Baskin and her husband? She's the latest husband, right? Yeah, the latest. Not the one that she fed to the tigers. Wow, I allegedly. She's got him on all fours, and he's dressed like a tiger,

but then she's got a leash around his neck, and she's walking him along. Those are the wedding photos. Wedding photos. That is so bizarre. High concept wedding shoot. You're going to have to go to the photography,

roll with me on this. This is what I'm visiting. Yeah, all right. And they went with it. And you also had big news on the Queen? Yes, the Queen, she is withdrawing

from public duties because of COVID-19 and Buckingham Palace is going to be closed for the summer. So usually they have tours all through Buckingham Palace for the public,

but they're shutting all that down, obviously, which is probably a safe choice. I see she still drives. Yes. I was Googling pictures of her driving in the range. She would be, it's not a safe pair of hands behind the wheels. She likes driving all over her farm, I think,

out by Windsor and stuff. She just has a hoon through the paddles. She'd be the ones going 35 k's an hour, that you're in a rush behind like, hey, there's this old lady! Oh God, it's the Queen. I'm sorry. I never trust people you can't see over the driver's seat. True. That's always my theory.

She's got a flat pink cap on. She'd look like a boy racing solo, wouldn't she? For more space, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Just like a chocolate milk cheek, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Of course, four o'clock today. We find out if we're going to be dropping to level 2 at some stage this week.

But, Jono, we've been doing the show for a couple of weeks now, and we've got some feedback. Ben, we've been doing the show a couple of weeks. How do you think it's going? Give me your honest opinion. Well, I'm enjoying it. I'm really, really enjoying it. Having a lot of fun.

Yeah, I think. I'm glad you're enjoying it, mate. Look, I feel like you're setting me up here. Look, I am really enjoying it. I'm having a lot of fun. It's fun to be on the radio. And it is a real honour to be waking up with people every morning and have them listen to us when they do.

Okay, all right. I'm glad you're enjoying the show. So this is the way you've set me up. You've lobbed up a softball here, and I'm like, yeah, I'm doing a great job. I'm doing it. It's fun. So what's the catch?

Well, we've got some feedback. Okay. We've got some feedback on the text machine. I'm just going to give this person a call. Is it bad feedback? I'll let you decide. It's New Zealand feedback. You wouldn't get a more New Zealand piece of feedback if you tried.

So we're going to go phone. Because I do understand in this job, you know, there's a lot of people that don't like you. Oh, it's just part of the course. And at first it's really hard to take. And it's hard not to take it personally. But in the end you're like, oh, that's just what happens. Eventually you stop crying in the bathroom.

Yeah, that's what happens. You understand? Oh, hello. Sorry, who have we got here? Barbara, who is this? Babs, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits. Oh, really? Hello. Good to have you on, Barbara. who is this? Babs, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits. Oh, really? Hello. Good to have you on, Barbara.

How's your morning? Uh, yeah, very good. You sound preoccupied. What are you up to? Uh, I was just putting a nappy into a rubbish bin. Oh, right. Your own one? Not her own one, mate.

I may be a grandmother, but I'm not that old. I can't wait till I start wearing nappies. I'm just going to let it all go. Now you yuck. Then you're wallowing it. Yeah, you do. You're wallowing it. Then I'm wallowing it anyway.

Now, Barbara, I don't know why we're calling you. I haven't even seen your text, but Jono's making us call you right now. Yeah, because you sent us some feedback, Barbara. Oh, yes. The fact that I'm still listening to you. Yeah, now, can I just dissect your text? Can I just dissect your text? Now, Barbara, you can jump

in if you want to add any further to this transcript. Morena guys. Morena guys. Lovely good morning there. Great start to the text. Right, thank you. And then you follow on. I admit to being dubious about your placement to replace Tony in the team.

Hey, you weren't the only one. We were the same. What was running through your head when you were dubious about us, Barbara? I thought, oh, these young guys. I don't know if I'll get your humour. And you race on about, rabbit on about different stuff

that I really think are a waste of time. Okay, so this is... Give it to us straight, Barbara. Yeah, don't pull back. Don't hold any budges. Then your text goes on to say, however... Ooh, however.

That's a turning word. However, I haven't changed stations dot, dot, dot yet. Oh. With two question marks. Now, what is that? Is that a threat? What do we need to do, Barbara? Actually, no, you're doing really well, guys, I have to say.

Now that I'm back to getting up at 5 a.m. again, let's work. You are an angel, and we will do anything to keep you. I tell you what, I make you this promise. When you do reach that age, I'll change your nappies. Okay. Oh, that's amazing. I told you for that. I don do reach that age, I'll change your nappies. Oh, that's amazing. I'm not told you for that. I don't know if that's what you want, Barbara.

That's how much I love you. There's a double pass to go see the movies, Reading Cinemas, when they're back open again. We're going to give that to you as well. Thank you for your feedback. Oh, how lovely. Thank you. I appreciate that. We really appreciate you giving us a go. That's all we can ask for and sticking with us. Dot, dot, dot. For the meantime. For appreciate that. We really appreciate you giving us a go. That's all we can ask for and sticking with us.

Dot, dot, dot. For the meantime. For the meantime. Yes, we'll watch this space, shall we? That's right. We understand there's lots of radio stations out there. You know, you can flick around, but we really appreciate the feedback. So have a great day, Barbara. Again, free things are always good.

Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We've got the head of Zoom joining us in 20 minutes to talk us... What was this thing six weeks ago that we never knew of? Zoom, yeah, exactly. And, of course, if you've just missed it, we are going to the world record for the longest Zoom call. It's happening Wednesday at 8.

The news, the opinion, the debate. It's News Talk ZB. This is an idea we had a few weeks ago where we try and call the proper radio station, Newstalk ZB, and pretend to be a little bit boozed and to see how long they'll let us stay on the air during their talkback hours. Now, it's a real stitch-up.

I feel sorry for the poor producers because we phone up and we're like, oh, good evening, my good sir. I would like to discuss the international trade situation. And then they're like, oh, we've got a great caller. And then when we were on air, we're like, hello, mate. How are you? So you kicked things off last week.

This is to see how long we can stay on the air. And you rang the building show? The building show. First thing Sunday morning with Peter Wolfkamp. 0800 8010 80 is the number to call. Kim, good morning. Good night, Peter. How are you going?

All right, Kim, and yourself? The wolf, woo! Peter. Right, what's your question, Kim? Peter, I love you, and I love you a heart, and

my wife, she's a real estate agent. Alright, mate. I appreciate the sentiment as well, and I'm sure it's shared around, but maybe for another show. So he cut you off after 33 seconds. That's the current record.

So you got on Saturday evening, was it? I haven't heard this year. So, yeah, I was expecting similar to you, that I would get on there and cut off pretty quickly. So I heard around about five o'clock they were doing a parenting hour, and all of a sudden they're like, cool, 180, 1080. I was like, okay, cool.

Oh, cool. And I pretty much got straight through. The producer's like, what's your name? And on the show, they do a show on the Saturday afternoon called the Saturday Afternoon Collective. They have two Tims on there, Tim Roxburgh and Tim Beveridge. So I thought, oh, it'd be funny

if my name's Tim as well. Three Tims. Three Tims and I'll say Timber and that was all I pretty much thought of. Why would you say Timber? Because the three Tims, I was like Timber I was drunk mate, that was my thing. I thought that would be fun, getting three Tims all at the same time, then I thought I'd get cut off

and I pretty much got straight on. We've got another Tim joining us, hi there Tim. Hi there Tim, how's it going? Tim, Tim, Tim. Three Tims on the radio, Timber. I'm sorry, I've had a couple of Tim beverages before starting, but I just want to say...

Sounds great. You don't need to send the kids to school. We've got Google, guys. We've got Google. We can Google anything. We'll end up raising a generation of anti-vaxxers and Trump fans. So the lady whose parenting expert was loving it, so I thought that would be it, like a good gag,

because his name's Tim Beveridge. I've had a couple of Tim Beveridges. I thought... Timber! I thought that would be it. But then I guess maybe they were needing more calls. They just kept asking me more questions, and I had to carry on.

So Tim, not Beveridge, but Tim on the phone. So what's the lockdown situation been for you other than the occasional Tim Beveridge? Oh, it's been pretty good. I mean, as I say, TikTok and Google have been looking after my kids quite nicely. And have you done anything yourself, Tim on the phone? Well, yeah, I've had a couple of Tim Beveridges.

Okay. Have you actually got kids at home at the moment or is this a fictitious call? It was that moment there where it was like a fictitious call and the radio part of my brain was like, oh, look, I'm tagging this show, guys. You sound like you're sobering up. Yeah, that's the thing.

The more I got into it. So then I gave a slightly more serious parenting question and answer here. Yes, I have got two kids at home at the moment. That'd be good. We have been doing it in all seriousness. We've been trying to do it in high school, but it's hard.

I pay the teachers whatever they want to be paid, I say. Do you think, I remember seeing a meme that went out around the traps saying that thousands of parents are about to find out that the teacher is not the problem. What do you think about that, Tim, on the phone? Exactly.

No, I think the teachers, as I say, pay them whatever you want to pay them because they're doing a great job. All right, we'd better let him get back to his Tim Beverages. Thanks for the call. Oh, my goodness. So it started off with me, Tim, and then we go, no, no, seriously, yeah.

My wife was listening in the other room. She's like, same as you, John. You said, like, you sobered up. As soon as you said, ah, seriously, yeah. You really dropped character. Minute 33, guys. Well, let's say 40 seconds of it was drunk. The rest was quite sober.

Intelligent conversation. And then afterwards, the poor parenting expert lady had to sort of analyse my call and sort of give a parenting response as well. So there we go. OK, minute 33, the time to beat Booz Talks NZ. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them, they're chewy. It's John Owen Battle the Hits.

Four o'clock today is when Jacinda Ardern, our Prime Minister, is going to announce if we go on to level three and when that might happen. I wonder if she's already made the decision or they do it today. Well, I think there's 10.30 I heard before they were doing some sort of a cabinet meeting, but she must be going in there with what she thinks.

Surely. Was it a coin toss? What do you reckon? I read something in the weekend. One of the bars was saying, you know, because they can't have dance floors, but they were thinking that maybe they could have every table as an elegant dance time.

Table, 64, 64, make your way to the dance floor, please. So you can up front everyone, do your little dance. Everyone has to watch you. I was like, I don't know if that's going to work. Producer Juliet, you're like getting on the D floor. Yeah, I love that idea. I think it's great. You do that?

Yeah. As an awkward white guy, I couldn't think of anything worse. It's safety in numbers on that occasion for me, right? You want to blend into the background and not be. Like the worst thing in my life is when someone goes, let's start a dance circle and we go in the middle. And I'm like, oh, please don't. Please don't make me do this.

We were doing something on stage at another radio station. Sharon, who we used to work with, she's like, get up here. We had everything planned. We were on stage at the concert. And she just pulled out an on-the-spot dance battle. And you just couldn't do anything worse to two uncoordinated white guys. And I think Ben got booed off by a stadium load of people. I did the sprinkler or something.

Everyone was like, boo! So over the weekend and during lockdown, a bit of puzzle trouble. Trouble went on in my household. For the last three weeks, my wife Amanda's been doing one of these puzzles, one of these thousand piece puzzles. I don't have the patience and or

intelligence. No, neither. And it's a good honour. But the thing is, it's been all over our table. We haven't been able to eat on our table for three weeks. So I'm like just... And you like to get stuff out of the way. Just finish the puzzle. Just finish the puzzle.

She got to the end of it and she was one piece short. She was missing a piece. This was a couple of days ago. And our new kitten's been playing with the pieces. So we're like, oh, he's probably played with it. Swallowed it. Yeah, I know. So anyway, I was sitting on the table for three days.

I was like, well, time to get rid of that puzzle. Let's pack it away. And so did you just swipe it in with your arm? Put it in the box. Just by myself. And I was cleaning up the house. I was like, it's been there for three days on display. You've seen all the pictures.

It's a gymnasium. They're all doing quirky things in the gym. They're all, you know, like, you've seen it all. It seems like a game of Russian roulette you're playing here. Not asking anyone. Just take it off your own bat. Three days, it turned up. It's like, you've seen it. And then I was like, oh, I got in a game of Russian roulette you're playing here. Not asking anyone. Just take it off your own bat. Three days, hadn't turned up. It's like, you've seen it.

And then I was like, oh, I got in a bit of trouble. Bit of trouble for that one. Oh boy, did I get in trouble. Because putting in 999 pieces of that over a thousand piece puzzle was not completing the puzzle apparently. So I wanted to talk to my mates here in the studio. You had 990 problems. 99 problems.

Put a puzzle piece at one. So is that a completing completing You've seen the picture No it's not If you haven't put the thousandth piece in You haven't completed the puzzle Correct producer Juliet It's the satisfaction of putting that last piece Right in the middle

And you're like yes It's a great feeling But it's there You've pretty much done it It's like making love but not Same thing Exactly the same thing. Exactly the same thing. But not putting a puzzle piece in, I don't get the analogy.

Coming up very shortly, we're doing a Zoomathon Wednesday, just before, hopefully we hit level 2 at 11.59 Wednesday night, if that's the time. We thought we'd do one last Zoom call. We're going to make it the world's longest Zoom video meeting. Morning! It's Jono and Ben on the hips.

Now, we're doing a Zoomathon on Wednesday. Hopefully, fingers crossed, the last day of Level 3. We find out today, 4 o'clock, when we will drop to Level 2. And the big winner of this whole lockdown has been Zoom,

the video calling facility. We've been running our lives on it, doing our jobs on it, and hating every single meeting on it. doing our jobs on it, and hating every single meeting on it. That's right. It seems to take a lot longer on Zoom for something that you could normally just go pop in and go, ah, can we do this thing? You're booking a time, you have to sit down and go through things, you know, but anyway.

It's a rigmarole, mate. First world problems. And we're going to do the Zoomathon, the world's longest Zoom Zoom Meeting on Wednesday and joining us ironically via Skype, no, via Zoom, is the head of Zoom Australasia, Michael Chetner. Welcome. Yeah, well, thanks very much for using Zoom, firstly. I think before coronavirus hit, we had 10 million daily active users, which is still a lot. I mean, but once Corona hit, we went up to 300 million daily active users in April.

Oh, my God. I guess it's been a result of keeping everyone connected. I think it's really interesting because we start seeing that we probably learn more about each other over Zoom now, seeing all these backgrounds and seeing kids and pets coming into Zoom meetings than we would have ever known before. Working for Zoom, do you guys have an office or do you just Zoom every day? Yeah, it's interesting.

So we, in Asia Pacific, we started our first office in Sydney three years ago now. And as we were building the teams up, we were hiring a whole lot of people all across the board. And so we actually were physically located in offices. And I guess even for us now, we've realised the power of our own technology. Do you think this is going to change? Because we've been talking about this quite a lot. Do you think this is going to change the landscape of how businesses operate and how we work on a day-to-day basis because we can save petrol, we can save time, we can save stress by just working from home on Zoom. Do you think a

lot of businesses might post-COVID adapt to letting their staff just conduct their job from home? Yeah, I think it's going to be interesting what happens afterwards. I think what we see now using Zoom and other technology for that matter is like what's afterwards. I think what we see now using Zoom and other technology for that matter, it's like what's possible. And I guess all of those limiting beliefs we had before around what we could do now have just, you know, now gone away. The genie's out of the bottle. Yeah. But I think the most important thing is it gives us the flexibility that we all crave in terms of, you know, how much time we spend at home, you know, with our families,

how much time we spend commuting to work. I mean, at the moment, we cut out a couple of hours a day just by not getting in the car or getting on the bus. So just from that perspective alone, I think that'll change. We're talking to Michael from Zoom. Now, Michael, we want to go for the world record, the longest Zoom call this week on Wednesday. We want to start at 8 o'clock.

How long can we go for on Zoom? I guess you probably can't get enough of Zoom. We've all had good practice now. So, yeah, so I think it's an ambitious project, but there's many things Zoom can do, but I don't think we can help with the sleep factor. Yeah, no, we're going to push Zoom to the absolute limit. We'll see how far your capabilities will take.

Have you got a record for the longest Zoom meeting or an account of how long the longest Zoom meeting has been so far? No, I think maybe some of us think that we're on records, but it's only an hour or so. No, no, I think this is a world first. I think this is a great way to showcase this to the world. So I wish you the best of luck. How do you guys make your money?

Because you get the free package up until the 40-minute one, and then above that you obviously pay to extend for unlimited meeting coverage. So I imagine a lot of your users would just be using the 40-minute thing? Yeah, so if we're having a meeting one-on-one like we are now, it's unlimited. So you can use that for as long as you like. So there's no 40-minute limit. Once we add three or more people on,

then we cut that at 40 minutes on the free version. So I guess what we're seeing, so we provide a subscription service, $20.99 a month. And I guess in some cases we're seeing, you know, that's, you know, that's not a significant outlay every month for, to be able to continue your business. If you're running a yoga class, you know, before you're limited to the people that can come to you physically in your studio. Now, you know, you can run a class and, you know, showcase that to the world. I guess anyone that wants to participate in yoga classes online.

So from that perspective, we see that there's a good mix of free and paid and it just really is down to what suits you. On Wednesday, we're going to embark on the Zoom marathon. We'll tell you how we go afterwards, if we're still living or if we're going to die for Zoom. That's how committed to Zoom we are. Awesome. Nice chatting to you. We better wrap you how we go afterwards, if we're still living or if we're going to die for Zoom. That's how committed to Zoom we are. Awesome. Nice chatting to you. We better wrap you up. We haven't paid for premium, but you have a great day and we'll hopefully talk to you again.

Thank you. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We claim we're New Zealand's breakfast, but we want to do something first. Yeah, we do. Some would say this is completely pointless, and to those people we say you're dead right. It's calling all 570 towns and cities in Aotearoa. The A to Z of New Zealand.

Weekday is going to take us about two and a half years by calling one a day, every workday. And we're doing it alphabetically. We started last week and we're still on the A's, obviously, aren't we? Yeah. Well, today we're going to head to, it's dubbed the most French place in New Zealand, and it wouldn't take much to be the most French place. You just need a breadstick and a baguette and a funny hat, maybe. And it's called Akaroa, just out of Christchurch. We're going to go through now. Good morning, Ekra Pharmacy. Oh, good morning.

Have we got hold of the most French town in New Zealand that will have you... Something like that. ...that will have you entranced with its historic buildings, magnificent harbour and passion? That's the one, and it's a magnificent view this morning. The sun is shining. The passion for fine food, you got that as well?

Oh, I don't know about fine food. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. We're ringing around every town in New Zealand. We're doing it alphabetically. You are day six. Sorry, day six? Day six, your town. No, she registered none of that apart from day six.

You have to start again. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Jon and Ben calling from the radio station. Ben-O and Jono. Close enough. We're calling from the Hits. Ben-O and John-O. Close enough. Calling from the hits. We're ringing every town in New Zealand. Right.

Yes. Can I just say this is as angry as Ben is ever going to get. And we're day six. You are day six. We're doing it alphabetically. Right. And we're here now. And everyone's caught up.

You're caught up. You know what we're trying to achieve. So we're all in this together. We certainly are all in this together. It's a beautiful day over here. Oh, that's wonderful. It's absolutely stunning. Now, tell us a little bit about Akaroa, because we know nothing.

You know nothing? Well, it's a lovely seaside town. The sun is shining. It's a picture postcard. You keep pulling on the sun is shining fact here. Yes, indeed. What about days it's not shining? Oh, well, it's actually been shining almost every day through the lockdown.

And you eat baguettes there, being a French town? No, because the shops have been closed. But hopefully things are sort of maybe getting back and running. Oh, you'll be frothing for a croissant, won't you? That's the one. Yeah. No, it's been fairly limited. Yeah, I can imagine.

Now, I was just looking on the history of Akaroa here. Did you know it was named after the botanist who sailed with Captain James Cook? That's exactly right, Banks. They brought all their venereal diseases to our shore. Did they? And they named the town. So Banks, how did...

They would have had to go and visit your chemist back in the day. Do you know what to do with this? It hasn't... I don't know. It's been growing. I don't know if the chemist has been around that long. Lovely to talk to you this morning. Very good.

Okay, you have a good day. Can we give you 10 seconds to sell Akaroa to New Zealand? And you can't say the sun is shining. I can't say the sun is shining. I can't say the sun is shining. Well, a lovely seaside town, a beautiful bosch, walks, lovely bird life.

Come and visit the place. And the sun is shining. You just wanted to say the sun is shining all the way through that. You have a lovely day. Lovely talking to you. Okay, bye. More painful than your alarm clock.

It's Jodowat Band on the Hats. We find out today when we're going to level. Okay, bye. Bye. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hats. We find out today when we're going to level two as a country. Yeah, four o'clock you're saying the Prime Minister is announcing. If I was the Prime Minister, I couldn't help but prank. I'd be like, which is not a great trait for a Prime Minister. No, you don't get voted in on your prank skills. But I'd be like, sorry guys, we're in level three for another six weeks. And everyone would be like, oh. And everyone will be like, oh.

And I'll be like, jokes. Get your drinks ready. But then when you're going to say something seriously after that, they're going to go, oh, this is another prank. That's why we voted in the pranky Prime Minister. You never know what he's going to come with. Now, over the weekend, I was reading this story. This is scrolling through your feed.

Scrolling through your feed. Yeah, we're just bringing you up to date with all the news overnight So you don't have to use your finger You know, you can get a sore finger going on your phone We're saving your finger Exactly Now, a kitten in Auckland A stray kitten took a ride in a car engine

Oh wow, we're reaching this morning We're scraping the barrel In the past, you know, we would have been on other stations We would have ignored this But I'm like, this is the sort of cute story that I want to talk about on the hits. And this is what happened. I thought, yeah, this is perfect. Well, we aim for this.

The backbone of this show is cuteness. Look at me. I don't get any cuter than me. So a kitchen, straight kitchen, got into a motor, a car's motor in South Auckland, took a trip to West Auckland. We're losing them, Ben. We're losing them. Survived.

Survived the whole trip. And they've now, it took an hour for them to get the cat out of the motor. They're flatlining. The fire department came along. And I thought it was quite cute. They've named the cat Bacardi. Bacardi. Yeah, because it liked being in the car.

And the lady who got it liked that. It was her favourite drink as well. So I was like, there's a cute kitten story for you Monday morning. I had a bloody cat up the tree on the weekend. And I was like, I wanted to get him down. So I even got the ladder from the shed and I was like, I wanted to get him down so I even got the ladder from the shed and placed it between

a branch and the fence so it had like a nice pathway. And it was like going It was like hissing at me, you know when they get their back up in an arch. They try and look all

really big, don't they? Yeah, jeez, he was going to come for me. So he's probably still up there, I don't know, I gave up. Take the ladder down? Yeah, I was like,

well mate, if you're going to hiss at me, take my pathway away from you. And also over the weekend, there was talk last week that Sonny Bill Williams, league player, rugby player, part-time boxer. All-round great human being. Oh, yeah, great athlete.

Could be fighting Mike Tyson. Well, that was the rumour, right? For a million dollars each, was it? Yeah, because Mike Tyson is now 53, and he's looking good in the ring. He's doing some training saying, I'm available for charity fights or any fights. And someone's like, I'll put a million bucks up. I'm available to punch anyone's

face in. For charity, for children, I'll do it for anyone. I'll do it, yeah. So Sonny Bill's come out and said, yeah, I'd fight him. Would he? What, are you a psychopath? Yeah. That would be... Would you fight Mike Tyson for, like, it's a million dollars. Would you get in the ring for a million dollars?

So you're essentially saying, would you get pulverised and knocked the hell out for a million dollars? I guess so. Oh, yeah. It's a million dollars. I'd be like the worst fight ever. Like, I'd step back, he'd swing, and I'd hit the ground and be like, oh, I'm done.

Ten seconds, you know? And you could buy your nice wheelchair a million dollars too if you're paralysed, can't you? Oh, God. Well, that's what would happen. Imagine me in there. Remember when you put me in a tackle bag, I got tackled by the Blues.

You don't realise how intense those athletes are until you actually are facing them, do you? Oh, yeah. Like boxes and things like that. But Mike Tyson wouldn't do it for a million dollars. Nah, he's coming back. I think there was another article over the weekend saying that it was like someone already put 20 million for him to fight. You know, so that's the sort of money we're talking about.

Yeah. It would be like, it's very mismatched, Sonny Bill, Mike Tyson. It'd be like us going to try and do radio with Mike Hoskin. It's like, what are you doing? But anyway, it's another field. Exactly. Not a morning person? anyway, it's another field. Exactly. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. What's that? Oh, no. Shut up. Now what? Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening. We are up early. It is a Monday morning,

and we want other people to get up early with us as well. The worst of all the mornings to wake someone up early. Yes, you're right. You peel yourself out of bed on a Monday. Chris, how's Timaru this morning? Yeah, Timaru's pretty dark. Can't see much at the

moment. What do you do? Driving the rubbish bin truck. Oh, now here's question, because I was talking about the bane of my life is getting rid of the amount of rubbish that I have. Is it illegal to put your rubbish in someone else's bin? Well, some say it is, but it's controversial. I'd just say have a go. Have a go. I imagine if it was someone's bin in an office on their property maybe,

but if it's on the street before rubbish day, those bins probably belonged to the council technically, wouldn't they? Just wear a balaclava and run for it. Just wear a balaclava. Anyway, back to the topic at hand. You want to wake up your wife Sandy, Chris, for the rude awakening.

What does Sandy do? She works in accounts. Oh, in accounts. A fishing company. Right, and she doesn't need to be awake at the moment using her Xero program, Xero accounting software. Yeah. Let's see if we can get her to answer four questions in a row.

Hello? Oh, she seems semi-awake, Sandy. Yes, I am. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Why? Why? No reason. We'll see you later.

No. We want to ask you four questions. You can win some Hell Pizza vouchers. Four questions? Yeah, four questions. At this hour of the morning. At this hour of the morning. That's right, Sandy.

Here's your first question. What would be an appropriate number of questions for this hour of the morning, Sandy? One. And you just asked it. You just asked it. Wow, she's sharp as a tack, Chris. She got the one right. Okay.

You get one question, Jono. I get one question? And you've had your question according to Sandy, but I'm going to get... I answered it and it was correct. Who's running this game show? It's me. Sandy is. This is the second day in a row that we've done this conversation.

We just get bullied into giving away the prize without playing our quirky game. Sandy, you've got the $40 worth of hell pizza. Oh, yeah, just like that. Well, you're the one who said, I've answered a question and you bamboozled us. We're the quiz masters. Chris is on the phone.

He's working. He wants to say hello. Are you on the phone? Yeah, he's there. We've been Quizmasters. Chris is on the phone. He's working. He wants to say hello. Well played. Are you on the phone? Yeah, he's there. We've been talking rubbish with him. It's been fun. You wait till I see him. What are you going to do?

Oh, I haven't decided. I'm too sleepy. Alright, some shocking revenge is coming your way, Chris. Well, you guys enjoy your help pizza and thanks so much for listening. That was easy. That was easy. Well done. You made it easy on yourself.

Well done, Seth. Thanks so much. Can I go back to sleep now? You can. Thank you. Yeah, she turned that around on you. It's one of those ones where you walk away, you're like, I just got played.

I got played then. How'd that happen? Well done. Enjoy your day, Chris. Good on you bro like starting your day without your morning coffee it's jonathan on my hits i like pineapple on pizza i like the ads that pop up on youtube kiwi onion dip tastes like crap controversial call outs what i love about it is about the honesty of the show. I'm going to be serious. I'm just going to be serious. I'm going to play the music, man.

You're like, uh... Sorry, guys, I'm flustered. Why are you flustered? We already started up there, okay? There's a lot going on. You're getting into loaded Australian music. I was loading in Australian music with five seconds to go. I was in my zone. Anyway, we're the most flustered radio show.

It's good to have a point of difference. That's right. Other shows are in control. You know, they know what's going on. Us, we're like, well, we don't even know what's going on. Join us for a flustered breakfast. That's exciting. You're always flustered in the mornings.

It's like you've overslept. You know, you want to listen to a radio show that's just a little bit panicky. It's us. Come on, I've got to be late. I've got to be late. I've got to be late. These guys sound panicked too. So it's hard to make controversial call-outs where we just say something controversial like,

oh, I'm flustered, sorry guys. And you give us a call if you agree with us or not. And Joe, you can take things off because you've got poor producer Juliet to load in. I was the cause of the fluster. I got Juliet to load in this music because this morning, what I want to say for my controversial call out is

Australia is a better country than New Zealand. You're just doing this to wind people up. It's Australia, as I like to call it, better New Zealand. Yes, it's more racist. Yes, it may be a country that was founded on criminals, but it's a country where you can shove sandpaper down your trousers, scuff up a cricket ball, roll an underarm

and take a boogie board bag full of weed into Bali and still be considered a national treasure. You can tan your skin to a point that it reaches the texture of a brown leather handbag. Oh, yeah, quite leathery. And there's dangerous things that can kill you at any moment. Snakes, crocodiles and bikey gangs on the Gold Coast. It's a far better country that's pillaged all of their natural resources.

And I, this morning, would like say, Australia is a better New Zealand. Wow, you came with some things, some points written down. I was just going to say that I like the smell of Rota Vegas, Rotorua. That was it, that's all. You like the smell of Rotorua? Yeah, I do. Rotorua, yeah.

I think you just get used to it. Oh, you do, but I even like it before you get used to it. So when you're travelling down there, you're like, I can't wait. But he was like, oh, poo, Rotorua. But I'm like, no, it's nice. Okay, 0800 the hits. Who do you agree with? Controversial call-outs.

Do you believe that Australia is a better New Zealand? Or do you like the smell of Rotorua? What's your favourite part of Rotorua? Ziplining. What's that? Yeah, I mean, ziplining Rotorua, and it was lots of fun. Yeah? I mean, zip lining. And it was lots of fun. Yeah?

Yeah, it was good. Was it a bloody hashtag sponsored zip line? Yeah, I think it was. Like, it was a gifted one.

And that's why you loved it. Yeah, that's right. Okay, 0800 The Hits. Oh, we've got someone on the phone right now.

Alex joins us on 0800 The Hits. Welcome to the show, Alex. Who are you agreeing with? Ben and his Vegas odour or Australia is a better New Zealand? Australia

may be a better New Zealand. Oh gosh! But I think we have a better Prime Minister. Ah, better Prime Minister. Okay, well you and me, we can both pack our bags and leave because we're going to get marched out of the country with pitchforks Alex, but thank you very much for agreeing with me.

It'll be good, Per. Good, and it's the only country where you can have a hat with corks on it and wear it and look cool. Has anyone in Australia ever actually worn one of those hats? I think it's one of those things that tourists buy. You always buy a didgeridoo and a bloody boomerang and a cork hat and say, I've been to Australia. Well, there you go, Jono.

You've got to win. Controversial Callouts will be back again tomorrow if we're not too flustered. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Don't tell the sales department because it's Jono and Ben's winning ad. This is where we give away free advertising.

Basically, you'd pay top dollar for this, wouldn't you, on any other day, but you get it for free here. Do the maths. You don't have to. No, we've done it. It's free. So we just give someone a call at random,

and we've half written an ad, and they've just got to fill in the blanks, put them on the spot. Tough thing to do on the spot. It is. So if you haven't heard it before, basically we phone somewhere, they fluster around, but they muck around for about 20 seconds, eventually figure out what we want from them, and get on with advertising their business.

Let's go through to New Plymouth. muck around for about 20 seconds, eventually figure out what we want from them and get on with advertising their business. Let's go through to New Plymouth. Good morning, Miller's New Plymouth. Leslie speaking. Hello, Leslie. It's John O'Bent calling from the Hits radio station. Oh, good. Hey, how are you?

How are you, Liz? Yeah, good. All right, mate. You've won an ad. Oh. Don't think about it. Just go with the vibes. Roll with the flow, Leslie. Have you heard about one of the Kiwi businesses?

It's the... Oh, the flow stopped, Leslie. It has stopped. We've written part of the ad. You've just got to fill in the blanks. Okay, sorry. Have you heard about one of the Kiwi businesses? It's the...

Miller's New Plymouth. All right. Famous for its popular... I don't know. Okay, we started well. We got the name out there. Have you got anything popular in the shop there? Oh, sorry. Yeah, tons

of beautiful winter clothing. Tons, tons of it. Beautiful ladies for New Plymouth. And don't forget the crowd favourite... Sleepwear. Lots and lots of sleepwear. Have you got some little negliges? Cheeky little negliges?

Hey, why not? And who could forget their catchy slogan? Don't know. Apparently you can't forget the catchy slogan. Yeah, they hadn't thought of one. And their wonderful staff,

who sometimes like to reveal a secret about themselves live on the radio. Here we go, Leslie. This is when we get to know Leslie. Any skeletons in Leslie's closet? A tonne, but I'm not telling you. Well played, Leslie. Well played. You've got a wonderful laugh, Leslie. There, happy customers are always saying...

Millers. They're just saying Millers. But are they saying it with a little more enthusiasm? Millers, New Plymouth. That's right. Where did you get that negligee from? Millers. That's right. Why are you wandering around in a from? Millers. Yay! That's right.

Why are you wandering around in a negligee in public? Because I got to be in Millers, eh, Leslie? Absolutely. Have a great day, Leslie. You're a great sport. Cheers. Bye. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now, if you're in Wellington, careful if you're parking in the central city because today they're starting metered parking again. Boo! And in Christchurch, apparently they've been doing it unless you're a central worker, then you get it for free.

So it's Auckland, for some reason, has been in a bubble of no parking. Oh, yeah, we said it the other day, you can just park anywhere. I literally, this morning, drove my car into the elevator at Sky City, took it to the top level, parked it on top of the Sky Tower

and came here. Still up there. That's not an exaggeration. That actually happened. Spy. No what's up. Spy.co.nz. Producer Juliet joins us with some spy entertainment news. So Mila Kunis, she is not on social media. A bit like

you, Jono. And she doesn't really know what TikTok is. A bit like you, Jono, and she doesn't really know what TikTok is. A bit like you, Jono. And she was on a live stream with her husband, Ashton Kutcher, and he basically took the piss out of her for not knowing what it was and for calling it a different name.

Can we put out a video on his Twitter or Instagram or whatever? By the way, this is how educated my wife is on social media. She calls TikTok the Tic Tac. So it's like when she's not pretending, when she's like, what was it, like the Twitter or the Instagram?

The Twitter. So she calls it the Tic Tac. I like it when you put the in front of it. It really ages you up, doesn't it? The Facebook, the Instagram. The okay boomer. And another news, Simon Cowell. Wow, this is really how the other half live, isn't it? Him and his partner were spotted in Malibu.

They were driving their $500,000 convertible Rolls Royce, filled, like, overflowing, basically, with massive toys for their six-year-old son because he was bored in lockdown. Wow. Well, that's the grounding for a well-rounded individual, isn't it? Look at how bougie they are. There are toilet lists. It's like Santa's sleigh. It actually is.

If Santa drove a half a million dollar Rolls Royce. It really is. It looks like it's going to fall over the top. You need some ties to sort of tie it down. Yeah, he should have swung by bunnings and got some straps. A bunch of cords or something like that. Exactly. It's insane.

And I'm like, wow. What I admire about Simon Cowell is he's obviously very rich, but he still wears the same T-shirt pretty much every day. He must have like 10 of the same. That V-neck. Yeah, like the same sort of just plain

sort of T-shirt V-neck. He must have like a wardrobe full like Batman. Is it the white one? The white V-neck? Yeah, the white V-neck. It's a great, you're never flustered about what you have to get dressed in the morning.

It's a classic look, right? It's a classic look. It never goes out of fashion. Never ages. Do love a v-neck. Yeah. Do love a v-neck. I can't pull one off.

Ben, you could pull off a v-neck. Pull a v-neck. No, I don't know if I've got the chance for a v-neck. You could do a d-neck. I could see someone like Jeremy Wells

wearing it, you know. Oh yeah, Jeremy Wells could do a v-neck. What determines whether a guy can pull off a v-neck or not? I don't know this. Well, listen, not my flabby little bosoms.

I couldn't do it. One of them would hang out the V. Might pop one. Controversial chat. For more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Can I say happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers out there? It's past. Unless you're in America right now, you can't. Yeah, well, to all the American mothers. New Zealand ones are shocking anyway. Americans got the best mothers. No, did you get your mum a present, Ben? I did, actually.

What did you get? I sent her, I was actually quite organised. I was quite organised for the first time. Just sent her like a wine and some chocolates and said, and the card said, I'm the reason you drink or something. So I thought it quite organised. I was quite organised for the first time. Just sent her like a wine and some chocolates and the card said, I'm the reason you drink or something. So I thought it was funny. Oh no, a bit of comedy there as well.

Did you have to film that heartfelt message for the radio station? Yeah. They were like, I can't do heartfelt. I think I said, happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mums out there and the bad ones as well.

Yeah. Because there are some shocking mums. You did, yeah. So you didn't do heartfelt too well, did you? No. But the sentiments were there. No, they weren't. They weren't there at all.

Weren't there at all. It must be an annoying day for the mums though because they get, you know, the kids are like, well, make breakfast and here's a plate of raw mince with maple syrup and Play-Doh or something. Did you make your kids move? I got to enjoy it. Actually, it was quite nice because our kids put on,

they've been going hard on this restaurant thing at home at the moment. Oh yeah, you've had a restaurant every night where you've been working at. Yeah. You're the waiting staff. But they actually put on

a roller skate movie theatre, which was quite good. So they were on roller skates. Sounds very dangerous. Delivering stuff to us. And we got to, I got to watch a movie even though it wasn't Mother's Day.

So I got like, yeah, popcorn and a drink and dinner served on it by a roller skating waitress. How hard was it to resist the urge to trip over the waitresses when they roller skate? Just stick your foot

out a little bit. Especially when you flick the light. The light's got to go off for the movie. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, no, you go.

No, you go. Oh, yeah, you go. Okay. I forgot what I was going to say. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app.