Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 15 - Jacinda Ardern, Rude Awakening, What Have You Slept Through?

Episode Date: May 17, 2020

We completed our 24-hour Zoom-A-Thon!What have you slept through?Shout-outs to businesses opening in Alert Level 2SpyJacinda Ardern called inBen apologies to Sarah WalkerWhat are you holding back from us?Rude Awakening Scrolling Through Your FeedThe A To Z Of New ZealandSpySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to Friday's podcast. It's been a big week for us here in New Zealand. We are now at level two and it's been a big week for us. We did the Zoomathon, 24 hours. We almost went of a non-stop Zoom video call. Yeah, very exciting stuff, but not as exciting as being number one on the iHeartRadio charts, this podcast. I mean, that's what we strive for. That's what gets us out of bed every morning, knowing that we're chart-topping. The

chart-topping podcast. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know your name was Joe Rogan. Is Joe Rogan number one? I don't know. He does a good podcast, Joe Rogan. He does do a good podcast. Yeah. Does he get high before that? He looks quite wasted. He does do some of his podcasts high, doesn't he?

They do, because it's legal. Because he gets deep and meaningful. I'm like, he's going to a place where only a man who's been sucking on the devil's lettuce would go to. He's good. Conan O'Brien's got a good podcast.

Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you who else has got a good podcast. Who? Don't say us. Don't put us in the same category as you. No, I was trying to think of someone else.

Maybe a good lesson is when you're doing a podcast intro, don't talk about other podcasts who are better than you. We've got a fun show for you today. A little bit delirious from staying awake for almost 32 hours. How Ben was embroiled in a sexism scandal with an Olympic athlete. We call her. We'll get that on the podcast for you too.

That is true. And we've got Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern as well. Have a... Have a... Have a... Have a... Have a... Wouldn't hear Joe Rogan doing that, would you?

The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. You're back in the studio after, well, 24 hours almost of non-stop zooming. It was like a bender without all the fun parts of what a bender involves, isn't it? Well, I felt drunk by the end of it. I can't remember half of it. Sort of you get the odd flashback of regret. A lot of regret. If you didn't hear any of it,

we tried to do the world's longest Zoom video call to basically celebrate New Zealand going from level three to level two. We started Wednesday morning at eight o'clock and we just kept Zooming for 23 hours and 39 minutes. And it just cut out mid-interview, mid-Zoom meeting with Nadia Lim, celebrity chef. And that sort of spelt the end of it. We were too delirious to comprehend what was going on or how we should tackle it on air.

So we sort of slowly faded out over a 40-minute period. Because we hadn't slept. We hadn't really had a break. And as you said, my brain just sort of kept shutting down during the whole thing. You thought we were interviewing a lady in America. You thought you could see a lizard in the background. I know. And there was a lizard crawling around.

And then you finally built up the gumption. So I asked her, is that a lizard in the background? She was like, yeah. And I was like, thank goodness. Thankfully it was a lizard. Ben wasn't going crazy. I thought I was for so long. There was a lizard crawling around the kitchen beach.

Yeah, just behind her. And I was like, oh my God, I can see a lizard. I can see a lizard and it's moving. No, it's not a lizard. Yes, it is a lizard crawling around the kitchen bench. Yeah, just sitting behind her. And I was like, oh my God, I can see a lizard. I can see a lizard and it's moving. No, it's not a lizard. Yes, it is a lizard. Because lizards stop. But you were interviewing her at the same time, but all the time you were just thinking about the lizard.

Yeah, the lizard. Anyway, I got home yesterday and I forgot that I had organised the roof painters to come over and he's like, I need to water blast it before the water restrictions come in. So I booked him. So I literally had this on top of my roof all day. Oh, am I meant to play it? Sorry, Juju.

I didn't realise that you needed it now. Oh, you see, it's a nice peace and quiet on top of your roof all day. Here it is. I'll play it off my phone. Because I said to Juju I'd play it off my phone, then I forgot I told you that. Sorry. It's okay.

Wow. Yeah, it was on my roof. Just needed some sleep after not sleeping for a whole night. Oh, my God. Because I got into the driver and I was like, oh, you son of a... That's right. Anyway, hey, fun times.

Fun times. We are awake and we're ready to go for another fun show. Remember to double pump the Virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Mentioned the other day that we really want to cash in on this whole COVID thing. And masks. Don't say cash in on it. I don't want to cash in on it.

I'm not going to cash in on it. That's why I'm also working on a vaccine. I want to cash in on this pandemic. No, but we did mention masks. And we. I want to cash in on this pandemic. No, but we did mention masks, and we're not going to cash in on them as such. I'm just saying that for just some banter, just trying to get some banter going. So we did actually think it would be nice

to have some masks and give some away. With funny sayings on them like, excuse me, sorry, I've got halitosis. Believe me, I am smiling under this. You know, those sort of things. Yeah, and then the wonderful people from Kindface who have been making masks during lockdown,

they got in touch and they're like, we'll give you a whole bunch of masks. You just print them and we'll get them out there and we'll give them away to the people. Yeah, so these will be free. But you guys need to help us come up with some slogans. So over the weekend, we need to come up with some slogans. We'll put a photo up there shortly on the Hits Breakfast Facebook page. If you've got a funny

slogan that we can put on a mask, we can get that printed and get that out there and give them away for free. Yeah, well you're going to go to the mall and go to the printing place? Yeah, I'll take it in. Get your hats embroidered with like loose unit and stuff. That's you, eh? You always go down there getting a loose unit.

Maybe like shaka. Burnouts and babes or whatever. Yeah, I'll do that. I'll get that printed. So we'll do that Monday. That's going to be very exciting. Awesome stuff. Now, we're just fresh off the Zoom,

Zoomathon, the world's longest Zoom video call. Completed it yesterday after 23 hours, 23 hours and 39 minutes. And a lot of the stuff we can't remember, so wonderful Aaron in production has compiled a montage for the benefit of you two remember stuff, but us as well, because, yeah, jeez, I can't remember three quarters of it. Here's some of the stuff that happened on our world record attempt,

our world's longest Zoom. Wonderful man, Lee Hart. Ah, Lee Hart. We've got Jess Quinn as well. Hey, Jess. Hi. My sister and her partner, who I bought the house with, recently found out they're having a baby, so I have a new flatmate arriving.

Yay! Is there any more room? Leigh Hart just asked, is there another spare room? Just for a couple of years, that's all. So Carolyn, you're a hypnotherapist. Can you help make this, whatever this is, go faster? I could hypnotise you within a minute or two if I was with you. Can you hypnotise me to have some hair?

We've got Guy Williams here. Because I've got to be very quiet because while I'm doing this crappy interview talking to you idiots from my bed, she's downstairs doing a parliamentary

select committee. You couldn't get opposite ends of the Zoom spectrum, could you? Being Anna Hutchison. Just in her doing this, so awesome. I just think she's magic.

Yeah, your numbers look great, whereas ours are straight. Chris Madden from 660, how's it going? Everyone, if you've got a local bar, everyone's got a Keith, and Keith's our favourite customer by far. You talk to him about lawn bowls

and what's going on at the club. There's a lot of politics at the lawn bowls club. A lot of politics. Just because they're old doesn't mean there's no drama. That's what my mum worked in a retirement village. She said they're going at it like rabbits.

We're on hold for Winston Peters just as airy as there. Look. How are you? What has your day been today? Well, I've got to be early about half past five

and decided to go through my notes for the Hoskins show and a few other things. Do you have any notes for our show or not? Well, this has been the most thoroughly prepared

interview I've had all day. So that's just some of the many highlights and lowlights of us doing almost 24 hours of non-stop Zoom video calls. Serving bowls of lols for breakfast. Actual lols may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. I hope you're enjoying day two,

or you enjoyed day two of Level 2 today. I'm looking forward to getting a haircut today. Oh, when I was going home, you said the bar, there was like hordes of people just standing outside barbers. It was like 20, but I sent you a photo and I was like, this is why I stopped growing hair. Yeah, that's the reason. Yeah, that was a choice, wasn't it?

No, I'm sorry. You got a lot of grief throughout the 24 hours of Zooming about your hair, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. I was playing for my Aunty Sally in Toronto. Yeah, your Aunty Sally was like, look at this bald idiot with big ears. I hadn't even met this lady.

Straight off the bat. I was like, wow. Anyway, she was a lovely lady. She grew on me. She grew on me like my giant ears. I love that she just like, she went from zero to 100 straight away with you. Like no chance to warm up with you.

So very tired at the end of it. Jeez, it was like we just mentioned before, sort of 34 hours awake and uh got home i think i flew home on a magical unicorn or something i can't remember we had so much just just talking words yeah banter like wait one stage in the night you were like list your five favorite criminals remember doing that i did yeah i had ted bundy at number one i was like please don't do this i don't know why i brought it up now uh but I was like, I am not taking any part of that. I was like, why don't we go?

But then you were like, you know, someone said Hitler. And we're like, well, I guess he's probably the worst criminal of them all, isn't he? We couldn't go there. He probably tops the list. So that's why we didn't. I don't know why I brought that back up, to be honest. I regret that now. Anyway, I pulled into the driveway of home and just gagging for sleep.

I think I even slept on the way home. And I pulled in and I was like, oh God, that's right. I forgot that these guys were coming over to water blast the roof before the water restrictions come in. And this was the noise. Listen to it. That's inside the house. Oh my God.

Is this what you need after being awake for like 32 hours? But I got into bed and I slept through it. I slept through it. That went on for four hours. I slept through it. Not once did I wake up. Well, I even think during the Zoomathon there was a moment there where I looked at you, your eyes were open,

but I don't think you were awake. I was asleep. Yeah. Crazy. So I want to chuck this out there. Oh, 800 of the hits. where I looked at you, your eyes were open, but I don't think you're awake. I was asleep. Yeah, crazy. So I want to chuck this out there. Oh, 800 of the hits. 4, 4, 8, 7. Why have you, yeah, beauty sleeps, sleeping beauties. What have you slept through?

Because when you're tired, you know, and some people, my dad, he can sleep through anything. Sometimes my dad, he's one of those, I think you reach a certain age in life when you get old and for some reason you just sleep. You look like you're dead. Your mouth's just open. We heard that the other day. There was someone who ended up in the morgue

and they were actually just sleeping. Yeah, just like a 75-year-old lady just having a snooze. Well, she's clearly dead. Take her off. Zip the bag out. Oh, hang on. No, hang on. Yeah, so what have you slept through?

What is the most amazing thing that you went, what? That happened while I was asleep? Yeah. We put stuff in my dad's mouth when he's sleeping, me and the kids, a little bit of a thing. Okay, 0800 the hits is the phone number. Give us a call this morning. Love to hear from you,

or you can text us as well. We're going to head to Whangarei. Frank, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Frankie. Good morning. Good to have you on. Do you know Whangarei Falls? Ben, remember you lost your prized dummy off the Whangarei Falls? Oh yes He had a big dummy, a stunt dummy that we threw off

Did all our best stunts on the TV show It was just a big soft dummy You thought it was us all along, it wasn't We lost it in the falls, didn't we? Did his last stunt at the falls Did you ever find it, Frank? No, not an area I visit. Our major concern was the police might have thought

that a body had been thrown off there. So someone dove in, got it, and they saved it. Hey, Frank, what did you see through? In the 1960s, I was in a small yacht, and we were in Tonga when Queen Salati died, and they had a 21 gun salute and we were moored about 100 metres from where the guns

were and I slept through the whole thing. All 21 guns. Jeez. Not even wake up on gun number 19? Yeah. No, the other crew told me about it afterwards. Wow. Yeah, because John was just saying one bang doesn't wake people up, but 21.

Not even 21. Wow. That's impressive. The 60s was a different time, Frank. How old are you, Frank? 65. 65. Well, thank you for listening, bud.

Appreciate you listening, Frank. You look after yourself, eh? Yep. Good on you. We'll head to Tauranga. Wendy's on the air. Welcome to the show, Wendo. Hi. How are you going? We're doing well, mate. What did you. We'll head to Tauranga. Wendy's on the air. Welcome to the show, Wendo. Hi, how are you going?

We're doing well, mate. What did you sleep through? I was looking after a friend's two children and she was doing an afternoon shift at the hospital and so I put them to bed and I gave her a key to come in and pick up her children and take them home when she finished her shift. Well, she had to come in the front door,

walked down the hallway past my bedroom to pick up one child and take her out to the car, and then she took, came back and got the second one, and the only time I heard her was when she was shutting the front door after she took the second child to the car. Ironically, the last time you looked after the kids.

Yeah, probably. Oh, Wendy, thank you so much for your call. You're welcome. Yeah, probably. Oh, Wendy, thank you so much for your call. You're welcome. Have a good day. Yeah, you too. She was going to say

have a good day, but I properly cut her off and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Wendy. You have a great day too if you're still listening. Kay's on the air. Welcome to the show, Kay.

Yeah, hi. Good to have you on, buddy. Thank you for listening to the show. What did you sleep through? I slept through my grandmother's funeral but with my eyes open

so I was sort of there outside but I wasn't there inside. Why were you so tired at a funeral? I was hitchhiking and I had to come back in a real rush. So I didn't have much money, so I caught the train when I was 17 at half price. And so you were so tired from the journey there. Yeah, because I had no sleep. And when I'm asleep at night, when I snore, it wakes me up.

So it's pretty loud. So you're like... Yeah, so everyone turns it around. And I was quite embarrassed because my eyes were open when I did it. That's a skill. We should put you on New Zealand. We should start New Zealand's Got Talent again and enter you into it. Now, as a hitchhiker, were you a smelly hitchhiker?

No, like they hit good rivers. Oh, you washed in the river. Sometimes you drive past and you're like, oh, you're too smelly to pick up. There's a stereotype. Oh, thank you. I'm not coming from your job anymore. You don't smell. You don't sound smelly.

You smell. You look like one of the, if I drove past you, I'd reverse back and pick you up, Kate. That's what I'm saying. Well, I hope so. I'll keep listening to the hits then. Oh, good. I saved it. Sav pick you up, Kate. That's what I'm saying. Well, I hope so. I'll keep listening to the hits then. Oh, good. I saved it. Thank God.

Lost you there for a second. Pulled you back. Pulled him back in. You have a great day, buddy. You too. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Of course, it is day two of level two here in New Zealand.

Things starting to get back to normal. The new normal. What have you got in your mouth? Sorry. What's in your mouth? I can tell. It sounds like you've got something in your mouth, but you're trying to cover it. That's exactly what I was trying to do. What's in there? Thanks for bringing it up, mate. What have you got in your mouth? What's in your mouth? I can tell. It sounds like you've got something in your mouth, but you're trying to cover it. That's exactly what I was trying to do.

What's in there? Thanks for bringing it up, mate. I'm setting some music by Snacklog. Oh, lovely. Is that all right? He comes to work with a little packed lunch for like a seven-year-old. There you go.

Little sandwiches with the crust covered. Sorry for eating. I was trying to finish it just before the news finished. It didn't quite do that. We're finding that with breakfasts. You don't get much time to do anything, do you? There's no breakfast, actually, that you can have during breakfast. I'm wallowing in my own filth now just because I can't leave the studio.

I thought every day I would be having breakfast, but ironically, I don't. But if you want to give us a call right now, if you're a business that's opened up during Level 2, you can advertise it nationwide on our show, 0800THEHITS. Whatever you want to say, we'll give you 10 seconds to say the nation next. Yeah, because you've just started back, your clients, your customers, but they might not know you're back, so tell them right now. 0800THEHITS or text 4487.

Let's do it. Millie, you're in Timaru. Welcome. Hi. Yes, I own a gift shop, boutique, and cake shop, and I literally just launched yesterday. Oh, wow. So it's exciting.

So I'm just on my way there to ice about 50 cakes for the second day because it went so well yesterday. Well, you've done well because you've said a lot about your business before the 10 seconds, so well played. Yeah, now we'll start the timer. Now we'll start the timer. You've got 10 seconds from now. Go.

Hi, I own a boutique, gift shop gift and cake shop located in 10 Church Street. Come along, get a gift for your late Mother's Day gift, and come see me. Cheers. Bye. What's it? What's it? Well done.

Well done. What's the difference between a boutique cake and just your battler cake? Well, I do like designer cupcakes, so you can come in and you can ask for really anything. I make handmade roses. I can put a cat on a cupcake if you you can come in and you can ask for really anything. I make handmade roses. I can put a cat on a cupcake if you want. Literally, I'm doing that this week. She killed a cat and put it on a cupcake.

No, no, I think. You know, like a cartoon cat or anything like that. I do cakes as well. But in the shop, there's always cupcakes available. I also sell clothing, giftware just all sorts of awesome goodies and New Zealand made things as well like New Zealand made products This is blowing out to a 90 second phone in

You've done so well You've owned this break I was going to ask you the difference between a cupcake and a muffin She's had enough of your time I've never asked that question I won't, because we've talked to you for way too long See you Millie Now we had a format.

The format was 10 seconds. Millie came in and she just owned it. She bamboozled us. We haven't hardly got time for any other calls. Corrine, you're on the air. 10 seconds to advertise your business. Right, so we're at Ikematua store. Come down and grab a bite to eat, some lunch.

We've got hot food, sandwiches and rolls, or gifts, bread, milk, anything you need, really. Nice. And you're stuck to the format. Corrine, we've got the detail in and out. And thank you so much, Corrine. Love your work. We'll head to Whangarei.

Will, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Take it away. Hi, I'm Ben. So I work at a screen printing factory in Whangarei. We print your summons, your T-shirts, your pants, your shorts, anything. Yeah, just make yourself look good. Screen printing shop in Whangarei. What was the name of it?

Sorry, I cut out a bit. Hot print screen printing. Is there anything you can't print? What if I brought a baby in? Could you print a baby? I probably could, but it would be kind of frowned upon. Yeah, I think it would be frowned upon. You print a t-shirt for the baby. How's that sound, Jono?

Can the baby be in the t-shirt which is being printed? No, no. Thank you, Will. I won't get you in any trouble. He's like, I don't want to say anything more. We'll take one more. Cole, welcome to the show.

Friday, and you've got 10 seconds to advertise your business. You're back. Sweet, mate. My name's Cole. My company name is Flawless. And we guarantee the best flooring services ever.

021 0887 4427. Nice one, nice one. I love a good floor. Great to walk on. Great to stand on. Thank you so much. We love the best, brother. Good on you, Cole.

You look after yourself. Have a great weekend. And that's how we play 10 Second Ads. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. It is Friday. It's a good feeling

getting to the end of this week, especially for us because we spent a long, long time awake. We were, for almost 24 hours, we were on a Zoom call. Hundreds of people

all over the world joined us and if you missed it, and also for us as we keep saying because we were part of it, we were very delirious, here's some of the highlights. Can you teach us the dance? Can you teach us the dance?

Can you teach us the Friday dance? The way you move that pelvis, Willie. Damn, I'm missing out. Hey, Simon Bridges, I'm going to have to get you out of my mind. You're only human. We've got Dave Nicholas. He's the Hits Day host in Canterbury. Jimmy Neesham joins us.

Big fan, Jimmy. How about that final? Oh, that didn't take long. We might have to hang up with Dave. Michelle Dickinson, Nano Girl. You should have trained for this. Into the ice baths they go. I'd like to say goodbye to my testicles.

So it's Rose McIver. Rose, are you an actor? I mean, no. Are you a gardener? How did Dad always turn his mic on? I think it's weird for you to leave school and be like, I want to be an influencer. Hey, we've got Joseph Parker here.

And we're going to do Dave Dobbin's Slice of Heaven. Savage has just joined us, hip-hop artist Savage. Are you pitching that you're going to do a rap battle, Ben? Yeah. When I look at you, I just see a sick Vin Diesel. Yeah. Ben, you're a really nice guy. I love you, bro.

Now I look like a bad guy. We're on hold for Winston Peters. Here he is there, look. Do you have any notes for our show or not? Well, this has been the most totally prepared interview I've had all day. Cut the teeth for the singers as well, you know. A lot of mouth there. I'm not going to let you get away with that.

Get out! I'm sorry. Do you know what he was saying before? He was like, I'll hit her up and build all those chicks in that ad. And I was like, mate. Do none of you watch Shortland Street? Of course we don't. After Shortland Street.

Did you guys watch your TV show? The problem was no one watched it. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Chris Darby. Vast collection of chips in the background. It was supposed to be more subtle, so I've got a new contract with Bluebird. Tony and Preble.

Our house burnt down like a couple of years ago. Does that make sense? What? And not once have you bought this hot fire gold. Did I tell you that my house, no, you didn't. The surprise guest, the one and only Hamish Blake. Hamish Blake. On any of your missions with Andy, was there a point?

Why are we doing this? You're not even doing any single figures here, are you guys? No, I don't think we've killed it that bad. A TV show. Because New Zealand's so small. Borders are closed. Incest Island. I think Jono needs

to go to bed. I think he's got some good talent coming out of New Zealand at the moment. Benny. You're clearly not talking about us.

I'm no cleverer than anybody else. It's all about having an interest, a passion and focus. You need a pep talk for sure. It was incredible. Marcus, I can't imaginep talk for short. I know, it sure was.

It's incredible. Marcus, I can't imagine you're on email. I am on email, but... Have you got a cell phone? Yeah. Struggled throughout the night, haven't you? Have you got a cell phone? On Acting Royalty, John Rhys-Davies joining us.

Played Gimli on Lord of the Rings. Did you get anything from the movie set? I got to keep the axe. Oh, my axe? Dwarves speak passionately because they believe. It's like a one-man play. Oh, I love it. My first Zoom call was a wedding.

Get off Zoom after three hours, absolutely sloshed. Suddenly just like back in your own home and you just sort of have to like go to bed. I invented this new game called My Thumb is a Drum. Was it We Will Rock You? Yes! Queen being played on Woody's bottom. This is a career highlight.

It's a great moment. I didn't realise they had showers in the building, so we had a shower down in the garage. What time are you guys down in the showers? Just slide into our DMs and I'll meet you down there. Okay, sounds good. Why has this meeting just ended? Is this the end of it? Is it a

record or not? Chris Mack is kindly joining us again. I'm absolutely devastated for you. I really couldn't be bothered hanging out for another five hours with you guys on a Zoom call, so let's call it there. It is the record, guys. This is the record, the world record.

23 hours. 39 minutes. There we go. We'll take it. We've done it, New Zealand. record. 23 hours. 23 hours, 39 minutes. 39 minutes. Here we go, we'll take it. We've done it, New Zealand Christmas. Congratulations. Thank you. Congratulations, guys. Thank you, New Zealand. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy, know what's up, spy.co.nz. Producer Juliet is in with Spy Entertainment News. So Joe Exotic's legal team are driving 23 hours from Texas to the White House in a massive bus with Joe Exotic's face on it with the writing, President Trump, please pardon Joe Exotic. So they're driving all the way to the White House to try and convince Trump to release Joe.

They also released a video ahead of them leaving because I think they're leaving on Monday aimed at the president as well. I'm Eric Love, a former law enforcement officer turned businessman and private investigator. We built an army of attorneys

to assist in the appeals process and right this monumental injustice. This legal team will pursue Joe Exotic's pardon application to the president of the United States. And he's like, we're going to 1600 Pennsylvania Ramps, son. I love the music at the back. It's like a movie trailer.

It's got this big bus. It's got a helicopter. It's got a motorbike doing a wheelie. I don't know why it's got a motorbike doing a wheelie. And his legal team, none of them have sleeves. They've all got their sleeves cut off their t-shirt. If I've got a legal team, at least put some sleeves on.

How can you take a legal team seriously? He's like, oh, damn it. We're going free Joe Exotic. Well, can you put some sleeves on, mate? Yeah, come on. To look semi-rescued. You're going to the White House. Put a suit and tie on or something.

Come on. So I don't know what they're planning on doing when they get there, but I assume they're just going to literally park the bus right outside and probably knowing them just chant, free Joe Exotic!

Yeah, that's it. Or something along the lines of that. They'll get moved on by some secret service or something, won't they? The signage costs on the bus must be astronomical. I know how much signage costs. It would have been an nightmare. I think these, now this is the problem. These people are probably like, when Joe Exotic gets out,

he is going to be worth multi-millions of dollars. The most famous person on the planet right now. Yeah, I know. They're leeches. They're leeching. They're leeching. So we'll stay tuned for that one. For more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz.

Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Listen, if the hotline's ringing here in the studio. Oh. Hello, Jacinda Ardern. Hey, how are you? Hey, how are you? You're sounding suspicious, Jacinda.

We've been quiet for baby reasons or just for suspicious reasons? I just realised I was not in my quiet part of the house. Okay. Yes, baby reason. Baby reason. Okay, we'll let you sort out the baby. We'll be back shortly with the Prime Minister next. She's found a quiet spot in her house to talk.

It is Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. How are you, Jacinda? Oh, not bad, not bad. Yeah, it's been a busy week, but not doing too bad. I noticed you come up when our phone system is unavailable. So a private number, okay? Are you not wanting to give us your cell phone? We're probably the last people you'd want to give your number to, right?

I think you'd consider that a common sense approach. Jacinda Ardern, of course, it has been a busy week. The country is at level two. Was there one thing that you have managed to do that you couldn't before or not yet? Not yet. She's got some stuff to do then. I know that.

I talked to her yesterday, but I was just talking to Clark about we were thinking about maybe going out for breakfast on the weekend, which is a very big deal. Oh, nice. What, a bit of a mid-morning eggs benny or something? We've got no plans beyond that. That was just it.

That was the conversation. Can I go outside this weekend? Yeah, that's a good idea. Can we go outside this weekend? Now, we spoke to you a few weeks ago, and Clark was meant to sort out a whitetail spider problem. We phoned him. He said he was on it.

And then we see an article in the Herald a few weeks later going, oh, there's still big problems with white tails at the Premier House where you're staying. We got, we actually, I don't know if you call it an upgrade, but we had what I think was a tarantula. A tarantula? Really? It wasn't a tarantula.

It was just a very large spider. Clacks found out the species. It was huge. Yeah. Absolutely huge. Every spider I come across, I'm like, it's a bloody white species. It was huge. Absolutely huge. Every spider I come across, I'm like, it's a bloody white tail. It's a white tail. I don't know the difference between them.

It sounds like you've got a colony of spiders at Premier House there, Prime Minister. This one was just sheer size, definitely not a white tail. Now, you've done such a fantastic job through this, and I want to congratulate yourself and Ashley, and obviously there's a team of people that you work alongside as well so we don't want to forget about them. But the press conferences I've found aggravating and I'm just watching them.

Can we offer a suggestion? Don't take questions. Just one day just say and I will not take questions now. That's it, you've heard it. Just do a mic drop you think. Because every time you're like we'll take questions I take questions, I'm like, don't take questions, don't take questions. Yeah, unfortunately,

it's not an optional thing really for me. So, yeah, it's just part of the job. I feel like a lot... It's interesting. I never find it any different than it's been for the last two years. Oh, right. Because I feel like they just make the questions

up on the spot. Yeah. There's no pre-prepared ones. And they're always trying to, I feel like they're always just trying to trip you up around the 10 person limit thing. They're always trying to think of a hypothetical scenario that could happen that you haven't thought of. Yep, yep.

That's probably not untrue. But yeah, again, I appreciate they have a job to do, just like I do. We better help each other in a strange kind of way. Yeah, because they're like, what if I've got a 10-person van, but I put two people in the boot? Or I've got eight people in my house, two of them are kind of short.

Does that mean I can have three others? Or one of them's pregnant, and then they've got some friends coming up, and they're not from New Zealand, but they counted as, oh, my God. I'm worried that you're just giving them ideas. Now, Prime Minister, we had another day of zero yesterday. Are you confident that we've gone to level two at the right time? I do think we've gone to level two at the right time. But now it's on all of us.

And, yeah, I'm sure other people have been seeing the news of other places that have done really well and then suddenly cases come back. So even out of Wuhan, I think they went roughly a month, no cases, and then suddenly they popped up again. So that's why, as much as I know people are out and about and probably thinking, why do I still have to do all this social distancing stuff? It is because COVID will still be amongst us. The way we can make sure it really doesn't take hold again is just following

all those rules. So please stick with it. The scary thing, I think, for a lot of people, the anxiety around it, is it really just takes one person. You look at Singapore, one person, one person just reset it all off. Yep. And that is anxious making, but hey, that's why we've put in place all the rules that we have.

So if there is that one person and it sets off a chain, it's setting off a chain amongst 10 people rather than 100 people at this stage or 1,000 people. So I know some of the rules for people will sound sometimes a little bit painful, but that's why. That's why we're at this early

stage, that if it does take hold, we don't end up putting the whole country in lockdown. We can deal with it because it will just be hopefully a small outbreak. What about the parents? I mean, Jono and I have kids. They've got to go back to school on Monday. I'm a little bit nervous about it, to be honest, but I guess all the kids are in the same boat

and all the parents are in the same boat. What's the advice that we can pass on to the kids? Obviously, they're going to get advice from their teachers, but what can you say? Yeah, and look, we understand that schools are a more difficult environment for keeping rules like social distancing and things like that because kids are kids.

And so that's why we wouldn't have made this decision to send them back unless we felt it was safe. But, you know, we do, we are still asking, you know, within schools, make sure everything's, the cleaning ratings are really good. You know, teachers are going to try and make sure kids do things a little bit differently. But we've also built in a bit of a buffer if they don't. And that's why we've gone back knowing that it's safer than it otherwise might be. We've got Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern with us now.

One thing we have noticed is you've said the number 10 quite a lot lately. This is an excerpt from your press conference on Tuesday. So that's where we've been really clear. The 10 is utterly consistent. If you want to go out to a restaurant or bar, they can't take a group booking of more than 10 either. You can't book out an entire restaurant for your entire party. It can only be 10.

It's three times in one sentence you said the word 10. So we want to play a game show with you. It's called... It's better than the other repeated line that I've had turned into songs and mashups. I know. Yep. You're like, what quirky internet video

is this press conference going to turn into today? Yep. We did one about all your great burns. You probably haven't seen it. I'll send it to someone. Give me your email address. I'll fire it along. Give it a like. You've had some great burns over the years.

The one on Duncan Garner the other day was great. I felt a little bit mean after that. I wasn't trying to be rude. No, it was gold. It was good. Garner was like, I've got nothing. I've got nothing to come back with. We want to quickly ask you a couple of quick questions.

A game show where every answer is 10. All right, Jacinda? Okay. Here we go. So, Jacinda, our dear Prime Minister, how many people can you have in the gathering at home? 10. Correct.

Well done. What was the name of the 1991 Pearl Jam album? 10. What number did Dan Carter play for, famously in the All Blacks? 10. Prime is on Freeview. What channel is it in New Zealand? 10.

New Zealand hardware store is known as Mitre What? 10. Yes. And beloved Engelbert Humperdinck song, this is when we're reaching, is about how many guitars? 10. Well done. Well done. I'd like to say ten out of ten,

but we didn't get ten questions for that one. You go and have a great weekend. Enjoy your outing with Clark. It's thoroughly deserved. You've done a wonderful job. We're all so proud of you. And have a great day. Thanks.

Hang in there, everyone. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hit. Sarah Walker, Olympian Sarah Walker, famous for BMX riding. She's very good at it. Although we learnt over the Zoomathon

we completed 23 and a half hours of Zoom interviews. We learnt she can't do backflips on the BMX. I think she'd do one into a foam pit. Into a foam pit. Yeah, silver medalist. Quite accomplished at wheelies. We got into a wheelie. And she doesn't put Spokie Dokies on her wheels.

We talked a lot of stuff. Just said a lot of rubbish because basically we were talking for 24 hours nonstop. Zoom call after Zoom call and half of it I remember and half of it I don't. Well, you probably want to forget this bit. It's tarnished. Our wonderful journey was tarnished

by a moment of sexism, a moment of misogynistic madness. Can I explain? So we had Sarah Walker on, Olympian, BMX rider, as you just said before, and we had Chris Mack on from 660, bass player,

and I said, oh, Sarah, you still in those Beef and Lamb ads that had the Iron Maidens in there? And Chris didn't know about this, so I was going to explain. You're like, he's a musician, he'll appreciate this because it's a play on Iron Maidens in there. And Chris didn't know about this, so I was going to explain. You're like, he's a musician, he'll appreciate this because it's a play on Iron Maiden, the band.

Yeah. So there's Iron Maiden, the heavy metal band from England, and there's Iron Maidens, Beef and Lamb, High and Iron, so a great partner, and the fact that they're maidens being females and they're made up of all, you know, Lisa Carrington, gold medalists, Eliza McCartney, bronze medalists, Sarah Walker, silver medalists, Sophie Pascal, gold medalists, Sarah Ulmer, gold medalist, Eliza McCartney, bronze medalist, Sarah Walker, silver medalist, Sophie Pascoe, gold medalist, Sarah Ulmer, gold medalist, the Everswindale sisters,

double gold medalist, and Alison Shanks, world champion pursuit cyclist. Oh, you've done your research now. I have. Alison Shanks, double pursuit cyclist. She's a world champion pursuit cyclist. He's never going to forget who was in this commercial because he basically said, oh, it was a group of females and Sarah,

Sarah took, Sarah took a conception. And there were a group of females and they were called the Iron Maidens. Did you have to name them? Hang on, wait, wait, wait, wait.

More than a group of females. Oh, no, sorry, yeah. Yeah, no, sorry. Yeah, I didn't mean to, yeah, yeah, like the supreme athletes in our country. Sorry, I didn't mean like that.

Sarah Ulmer, another Olympic gold medalist. You've got Lisa Carrington, multiple Olympic medalists. You've got Sophie Pascoe, the most medalist. Yeah, they're all awesome. Sorry, I didn't mean to be like that. I was just meaning for females in the pun. Another Olympic medalist.

Exactly, sorry. I meant in the pun formula. I'm not going to let you get away with that. The pun, the pun. I meant the pun. I love it, Lyn love it It's so good I'm not going to let you Get away with that

I was going to Go on Sarah Walker How awesome is that Ben's got it tattooed On his back now Even Alison Shanks Pursuit cyclist

World champion Pursuit cyclist Thank you I'm not going to let you Get away with that No I feel awful I messaged Sarah afterwards I was like

I feel so sorry Because it wasn't My intention at all I was just saying As I kept saying for the pun we had to be clear that it was female

oh shit that was the only reason why it mattered what sex they were and I'm sorry normally it doesn't matter sweet 20 it's only reasonable

that we call Sarah and apologise no don't back out with a text face your problems my friend I want you because you know

there's an and in between our names. I'm going down with you. Oh, yes. I'm sure to apologise. Calling Sarah Walker live. Hopefully she answers. Good morning.

Oh, Sarah, listen, it's Jono here, not the sexist one. Sarah, welcome back. I thought I was calling to apologise. She wants to talk to the one that's not going to offend her. Oh, don't. Now, I have him here. Do you even want to give him the time of day? It's over to you.

Absolutely. We've known each other a long time. Oh, yeah, but I'd like full respect to you. You're shooting me down by that because that was deserved. I was only saying it for the pun. I wasn't trying to, like, I've listened to it back many times. I'm highly embarrassed. I'm so sorry and it wasn't my intention.

I just, I saw it as an opportunity to mention the girls actually. So I actually, thank you for letting me talk about how amazing they are. Yeah, not the group of females, Ben. The gold medal winning athletes.

Now, Sarah, we got into some deep conversation about whether you put Spokie Dokies on your wheels. We did. We really grilled you. So I want to apologise because it was probably a waste of 15 minutes of your life coming on our Zoomathon. So that's the apology I'd like to make. Yeah, that's fair enough. Yeah, I accept your apologies. Thank you very much.

Sarah, you're awesome. What time of the day did we talk to you? Because it all just sort of blends into one. Actually, I don't even remember either, but I think you were quite a few hours into your Zoomathon. So, yeah, all is forgiven. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.

That's been mended. That relationship, we patched that one up. So thank you. I need another 80 calls to make now. We're ringing through everyone else now. We offended on the Xemathon. It's like we had a big bender and now we need to apologise for everything we did.

Sarah Walker, you're awesome. Nice to catch up. And all the best for the... Are you back into training again? Yeah, I rode the BMX track for the first time yesterday and it went really well, so I was really stoked. Oh, awesome. Sarah, we wish you the best of luck

and we'll come along for a race sometime, eh? Oh, that would be awesome. And maybe I'll keep you guys off the bike so you can only watch. I don't want you guys getting hurt. Fair enough. Hey, thank you, Sarah Walker. You're a bloody legend.

You have a wonderful day. Thank you. Have an awesome day too, guys. Thank you. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. We're Chris Mack from 660. He's been a good part of our Zoomathon with us,

so we really appreciate that. I feel like we need to give him something, pay him something. We took like at least six hours of his time. Family time too. It was important family time. We got his family to bring him lots of snacks him something. We took like at least six hours of his time. Family time too. It was important family time. We got his family to bring him lots of snacks and supplies while he was doing it. Yeah.

So no, thank you to... He was all like, Stella, get Daddy a drink. Or Stella, can you bring Daddy a glass? So many people all over the world talked to us and we ended up on radio in the UK. Oh, Capital FM? With Roman Kemp? Yeah, who's like one of the number one

breakfast show over there or something like that. We also played with The Chase, the guy from The Chase. We played at a quiz, thanks to Believe It or Not Quizzes with Sean Wallace, the destroyer from The Chase.

And we spoke to Antonia Preble, the actor. Julia, we were going to play this audio before, producer Juju Miller, and you whispered, play it. So now here we are.

It's okay. Antonia Preble, you know her from West Side, Outrageous Fortune and many, many other things and we've known her for a while and she has not told us the story. One Sunday morning in November 2018,

a neighbour passed by and knocked on our door and was like, your house is on fire. And we hadn't realised because of the way that this wind wind was going the smoke wasn't blowing into the house it was blowing away and at that point it was contained to the garage but by the time the fire engines got here it had gone like all through the roof and so the story kind of gets um even more hilarious or ironic we bought it in in August and we moved in in October.

We'd only been in the house five weeks. Like settlement had happened five weeks earlier. Can I pull you aside here? We've interviewed you about 10 times since then and not once have you bought this hot fire gold to our car. Did I tell you that in the house? No, you didn't. So, yeah, incredible story.

Thankfully, everyone was fine. I mean, obviously, the house was... The position's gone. But she said a really nice moment when the house was burning down. She was like, it's good. Everything's going to be fine. No one was hurt.

And we're going to be fine. Yeah, and so we want to check this out there. What are you hiding from us? What gold are we sitting on that we don't even know because you haven't called up and told us any gold story? It could be about any topic. Yeah, this is like if you were sitting on Graham Norton's red chair and you're like, what is the one story that I would like to tell Graham Norton in the world?

What's the one story you want to tell us? Why are you holding it back from us? Yeah, don't hold it back. You call us up now. Is it sounding quite desperate? It is sounding a little bit desperate. 0800 is the phone number. We'd love to hear from you today. we might find you a prize for your troubles.

We spoke to Antonia Preble. We love Antonia. Great lady. Spoken to her a number of times and she has never told us that her house burnt down. Yeah. Her house burnt down. We were like, why have you been holding this gold from us for so long? So we wanted to throw it out there on 0800

the hits. What secret are you keeping from us? Get it on the radio. 0800 The Hits is the phone number 4487 on the text. Let's go to the phones. Are we on hold for someone? I think we are. Have they put us on hold? I think they put us on hold. That's not our job.

Maybe it's like, you want to put me on hold, buddy? I'll put you on hold. We'll come back with that call very shortly it is the hits hopefully maybe it is the hits are you there sorry buddy

oh he's back apparently this is our anonymous caller they don't want to be known that's fine what was your story what have you been holding up from us

I was a lot younger I was about 6 or 7 so I was swimming in one of those public pools and I was swimming through the thing and in the middle it looked like a bit of a leaf or something so I started aiming for it and I was swimming in one of those public pools. And I was swimming through the thing. And then in the middle, it looked like a bit of a leaf or something.

So I started aiming for it, and I was headbutting it. What I didn't realize is that everyone else around the pool had actually pretty much, like, disappeared and got out of the pool. And the reason why everyone did it turned out to be a... You like it? Something from... Yes. I never see anything and go, I must headbutt that. That's never been my first response.

Jeez, I'd love to headbutt that. So if I squish it, I'll keep going? For a long, long time, I got the nickname Shithead. Were you like pushing around the pool like a dolphin? Yeah, pretty much, yeah, sadly. I don't know where the game came from or what my thought passage was, but yeah. That's very funny. You have a great day.

Thank you very much for listening to the show. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. What's that? Oh, no. Shut up. Now what?

Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening. We are up early in the morning, and we like other people to be up as well. That's why we've designed this segment that rudely wakes up someone in New Zealand, and we put them on the spot with a radio quiz. Yeah, it's like, you know, the authorities raiding your bedroom, except it's two hyperactive radio hosts first thing in the morning. It's not a nice way to start your day, but Michael's in Christchurch, and you want to wake up your wife, Sarah, Mike?

I do indeed. Brave individual. Yeah, that's very brave. Brave individual. What does Sarah do? Is she any need to be awake at this hour? She's a schoolteacher. She's got a Zoom at 10 o'clock,

but we're definitely going to catch her off guard. Okay, she's obviously starting back at school on Monday too, so this is probably her final day to get a sleep in. Hard-working teacher. Does she deserve this? Probably not, but what she could do is have $40 worth of hell pizza, Michael. Yeah, and, oh, mate, she loves her pizza, so let's do this. What do you do, Mike?

I run a workshop for hose supplies. Pretty random job. Hello, Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Michael's just telling us how he loves his hose. Welcome. Hose. Hose shop.

John Owen Benn here from the hits. Hi. You're on the radio, mate. Good morning. Good morning. We've got Michael here. You're in the middle of a live radio quiz. The more questions you get correct, the more pizza you win from Hell Pizza.

Here's your first question. Oh, my goodness. The characters Elf and Irene star in which show? Border Patrol, Police 10-7, Home and Away. Home and Away. Well done. $10 from Hell Pizza. Here's your next question.

Coffee is made from what? A magical country called Starbucks, B, good times, or C, coffee beans? C, coffee beans. Well done. Two from two. Schweppes is a brand of what? Leather masks, computers, or beverages? Beverages.

Yeah, you got $30 from Hell Pizza. Here's your final question. And Rihanna's full name is what? A, Rihanna Banana, B, Robin Fenty, C, Riri. B. Robin Fenty.

Yeah, well done. $40 from Hell Pizza, serving the best damn pizza in this lifetime and the next. That's a great way to start your day. Awesome, thank you. Michael's just telling us you're a teacher. Looking forward to getting back to the classroom

with all the snotty kids talking over each other. Yeah, I am a little bit, yeah. Have you been doing your classes over Google Drive and stuff? Yeah, I've been part of Zoom, so. How do you manage 30 kids on a video? I'm quite lucky that I just relieved, so I sit in on someone else's, but we mute them.

Yeah, my wife is a teacher, and she's like, you mute them, but then the kids, because they're quite smart, they work out how they can unmute themselves, and then they just start going for it, so yeah. Wouldn't it be great if you could just mute kids in real life? Like your one right now. We'll let you get back to that. Hey, you guys have a great day. Thanks for it. Wouldn't it be great if you could just mute kids in real life? Like your one right now? We'll let you get back to that.

Hey, you guys have a great day. Thanks for playing. See you, Michael. Thank you, guys. See you, matey. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed.

Yeah, welcome. We like to have a peruse of the internet overnight to just save you flicking through your feed. What finger do you We like to have a peruse of the internet overnight to just save you flicking through your feed. What finger do you use when you go and, when you use the screen? Are you using your index finger, Ben? Yeah, probably. Are you a double finger guy? No, no, just

a single finger, just a single digit. I was like, yeah. Well, use the index finger very pivotal, isn't it? It's quite an important finger. It is, you're right. You lose that finger, you've got three others you can use. You've got some other options, I'm sure you might do. Now, just before we mentioned that you, this morning, you had a shocker.

I did have a shocker. You probably haven't seen our social media, but if you have, every morning we do a little thing where either of us scare each other when we walk into work. So whoever's the first person here has the advantage and gets to plot and scare the other one when we arrive. Because we get to work quite early now for the breakfast show, so if you want to check out the hits breakfast on Instagram or Facebook,

we have a wee pat. You can scare the other person, give them a fright, get in a costume if you want, whatever you want to do, and the other one can't get upset because that's our pat. Now, I was hidden around the corner. Producer Juliet, you were filming, you were were under a desk and we were waiting for Ben to arrive and I just heard footsteps and I could see legs in the reflection of a glass window and I was like

well, you know, see legs prank. That's it. That's it. And I jumped out wearing very pink, vibrant Elton John esque glasses. And I was like, whoa! And it was this poor little fella from ZM,

poor little James from ZM, and he was holding a glass of water and it spilled everywhere, and he just got, he had the look of fear, panic, and why? Why did you just do that to me? And Ben, you were behind him.

I was behind him, because I was thinking in my head, oh, I wonder if I'll get a fright, and then you gave this poor guy a fright. He was pranking collateral damage. And so I haven't got a check in history with Port, that guy. Because at our other radio station, he came in and he was there for a job interview in the promo department. And he was sitting on the couch outside the studio.

And I came out because I thought he wanted a photo with us. I don't know why, egotistically, I thought he wanted a photo with us. And I put my arm around him. I was like, hello, little fella. Hello, little fella. You want to have a photo, mate? And Ben, you saw that all happen with him. And he was like, oh, no, no, I'm here for a job interview.

So you've given him a fright. You've also obnoxiously asked for a photo. And then just before, what did you call him? It's not James. It's James Jarrett. You suck. Oh, well, there goes the three. The trifecta.

We got the trifecta, guys. We got the trifecta, ladies and gentlemen. Wonderful guy. Wonderful guy. One of Jono's favourite people in the world. Also going through your feed this morning, a lot of people can't go to watch their favourite sports teams play, and a lot of the professional sports have to charge on

and they're going to play their sports in empty stadiums. Yeah, and this is a really good idea, this. This is from Korea, right? Yeah, South Korea, fans of their baseball team, they can't go, obviously, so they all took photos of themselves and turned themselves

into cardboard cutouts, sent them to the team, and then the team have placed cardboard cutouts of all their fans around the stadium. That's a really cool idea. They still had to pay for tickets.

That's a genius idea. Maybe we should start that for the Super Rugby season or something. Good idea idea Sounds expensive It does You want to get like 30,000 cardboard cutouts

Think about what you're saying here Just get ones of us And put it up somewhere That'll be easier We did We had For our old job We had some

And they would place them up At events and things But the major issue with them Was people drawing obscene Obscene things on our faces Yeah that's half the problem With cardboard cutouts You wouldn't believe people With the stuff people Draw on your face do you The major issue with them was people drawing obscene things on our faces. Yeah, that's half the problem with carbon cutouts. You wouldn't believe the stuff people would draw on your face, Juju.

Oh, disgraceful. Just a nightmare. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Don't you love getting up on a Friday? Love it. Love the feeling. Yeah.

Even though I was very tired from not sleeping for 24 hours, it is a good feeling going, Friday, just got to get through to today. Dig it in. You check out. We just say some words on the radio and go home. But we learned a new game during our Zoomathon. If you just tuned on to the show, welcome.

We're Jonathan and Benjamin. Yeah. Low rent broadcasters. And we just completed a Zoomathon, which was the world's longest Zoom meeting, Zoom video conference, video facility. It was to celebrate the move from level three to level two. I went for 23 hours and 39 minutes

and we actually, I think it was about sort of midnight, we spoke to Woody, who is one half of the Will and Woody radio team in Australia on Kiss FM and he taught us this new game they play on their show. I'm just going to drum a song on my bum, on my bare ass. And then you guys have to try and guess what the song is that I'm

drumming on my ass. Okay, I like this. Okay, good. Oh, I can't hear. The slaps are muting at the mic. Is it We Will Rock You? Yes! How did you get there? I couldn't even hear it. I was just going on the mic. It was like, we will rock you? Yes! I was! How did you get there? I couldn't even hear it.

I was just going on the floor. So yeah, I could just tell by the movements, the way he was spanking himself, that it was, well, that was the drum beat

to We Will Rock because my son, Oscar's learning the drums and that was the first song he learned. We tried a few other ones over the Zoomathon. It became a running thing

we did through the night. There's a little montage that unfortunately is up on our social media. The Hits Breakfast on Instagram, which has us, bare bums, and another cabaret performance. We had a lady come on for the cabaret performance. It turned erotic quickly. And quite a lot of blur on this post. I mean, it wasn't the family-friendly entertainment

you come to know and love here at the Hits. No, that's what happens after midnight on the Hits. I was like, when is this going to stop? Ben, you had your hand on the cord of the feed. You were about to rip it out. I know. Todd walked back in as well. He'd be gone for a couple of hours,

and it's like, what are you guys doing? She had bum tassels. She had tassels hanging on the cheeks, just sort of, it was fun. But then she stopped. She stopped. She was a good sport. She was a really good sport. She had tassels hanging on the cheeks just sort of it was fun but then she stopped. She stopped. She was a good sport. She was a really good sport.

She was quite interesting. Cost us a lot on the company credit card. I think we had to pay more if you wanted to see more. Anyway. She was great. We thought we'd steal

Will and Woody's game just once. We're not going to play Geronimo. He was like oh go for it. You can use it. We did ask him.

Yeah. Yeah. And we're going to play the bum drum. Ben is going to play a song's... He was like, oh, go for it. You can use it. We did ask him. Yeah, yeah. And we're going to play the bum drum. Ben is going to play a song on his bottom. On his bottom. I don't... Okay.

I've already had a shocker of a morning. I scared poor Gerard at ZDM here. I don't know if I... You've chosen the song that I need to do, but I don't know if I'll quite... And we're going to welcome to the show... We'll head to Rotorua. James is on the phone.

Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, James. Morning, Jono and Ben. Good to have you on, buddy. How's Rautaroa this morning, mate? Oh, she's a bit makariri today. Bit cold? Bit cold, mate, bit cold. Oh, good on you.

But it'll warm up. It's a beautiful part of New Zealand now. James, Ben is going to play his bum drum. You've got to try and guess the song that Ben is playing. I'm bending down now because You've got to try and guess the song that Ben is playing. I'm bending down now because I've got... It's the drum solo part of the song. Yeah, it's not the beginning bit,

James. That's the clue. The thing is, though, you start lightly hitting, but then you have to go harder to try and really convince the person of the song. Have a listen, James. Or do. That was the solo, how? Is that right? Oh, that's a Grilla song, Chocolate.

In the air tonight! Yeah, that's it. He got it! Oh, and the harder, the more times you do it, the more you really get, you spank yourself, don't you? Yeah. Full respect to those that enjoy that. Hey, James, well done.

We're going to send you out a Vodafone TV. Yeah, Vodafone TV. Thanks to our friends at Vodafone. Oh, the actual Vodafone TV. The Vodafone TV box that you plug into. Vodafone TV box. Awesome, Vodafone. Thank you very much.

It's really cool. I think very much, John and Ben. It's really cool. I think they're worth like $150. You plug it in and you can basically record stuff. You can watch stuff from about three days ago as well. It's really cool. Oh, awesome. Thank you very much.

I love stuff from three days ago. Well, no, you can. You can go, I missed that show. And then you're like, oh, just rewind that. And then you can watch it from three days ago. Handy feature. That's why I said I love stuff from three days ago. You're like, you're mocky. And then you can also go,

I need to record this series link. It's like having a, you know, like the box you'd have on Sky, but you have one of those. It's great. Oh, the channel's all there. Booty to go, baby. Well done on integrating my Sky into this as well, Ben.

Vodafone will be happy for that. Yes, it is. That's great. Do you want to plug Apple TV at the same time? Eh? No, don't, because they don't have the record function. Thanks, Spark, for your box.

No, there's boxes. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Hey, we are on a mission for two and a half years to call every town or city in New Zealand.

It's called The A to Z of New Zealand. The A to Z of New Zealand. We. The A to Z of New Zedland. We are a week and a half into it now and spoken to some, pretty much, I'd say 90% of the places we've called I've never heard of. I don't know where they are. That's what I like about this segment. We learn

something about New Zealand. Yes, we phone each town. We have a bit of banter. They explain what their town is, what it's all about. We hang up and we leave them to get on with their lives. So today we're heading to Albert Town. Not entirely sure where Albert Town is. No, no. So let's go through, Producer Juju.

Hello. Oh, hello. We've got Leslie. Yes. Leslie Burt. It is. Oh, from Albert Town. Who am I speaking to?

Leslie, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. We're ringing every town in New Zealand alphabetically, and now we're on Albert Town. It's a beautiful spot. Yeah, where is it? It's on the Clutha River. Do you know where Wanaka is? Yes, beautiful, beautiful place.

Wanaka? No, I've got a car. Oh, God, sorry about that. I bet you haven't heard that one before, Leslie. Albert Town's between Wanaka and Lake Hawia, four kilometres from Lake Wanaka. And named after the painful piercing procedure

Prince Albert? No, no, no, don't Google it. I've got absolutely no idea. Good, and don't Google it. Somebody. Yeah. The lake's beautiful down there, isn't it, Leslie? It's superb. Best time of the year here. Do you go swimming, Les? Oh, every day.

Do you? I feel like you're joking. You're pulling the wool over some of those smug Aucklanders' eyes, are you, Leslie? We've got a few smug Aucklanders who live here as well. Sitting there, smug comfort, don't they, those Aucklanders?, are you, Leslie? We've got a few smug Aucklanders who live here as well. Sitting there smug comfort, don't they, those Aucklanders?

They've seen the light. What is the population of Albert Town? It fluctuates because it's a holiday town, but it's probably local population would be about 8,000. Do you know what we're doing, Leslie? No. We're calling every town. No.

Leslie's like, interrupting Leslie's day. That's what we're doing. I'm sorry, Leslie. You were just filling in time in level two, I think. We're calling all 570 towns and cities in New Zealand. One a day. Going to take us two and a half years. Leslie, you're on the roster, baby.

Oh, well, you can pick me off now. You're done, Leslie. We won't be calling you again for two and a half years. Okay, you've brightened up my day. I might still be here then, hopefully. Listen, I'll probably die before you, Leslie. Never. Oh, Leslie, enjoy your swim today.

Okay. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. By the WhatsApp by doco.nz. Here's producer Ju. Producer Ju. JuJu's heading out with her family this weekend. You going to spend time with the whānau?

Yes, on the boat that we've got. Go out on to Waiheke. Do you sail the boat or do you fish? Oh, I like fishing. I love fishing. I've never caught a fish. Really? Really?

We even went out with Matt Watson, not that he was fishing. You caught the fish. Yeah, he was advising us. I caught a few. Apparently there's a, like a, what's the word?

I can't remember. Where if you've got bananas on your boat or you're talking about pigs, you won't catch any fish. That's like a superstition. There's a whole lot of things. And those are two of my favourite things. Pigs and bananas.

I never leave home without them. And in spy news, Mary-Kate Olsen, who was in Full House, she... Whatever happened to predictability? The Milkman, the Paperboy, the Evening TV. Massive show when we were growing up, Jonna, but it's all over Netflix now and they do Fuller House as well. But they were the only characters that didn't come back, the Olsen twins. You'd think they would.

They have that, you got it, dude. Yeah, that's right. That little thumbs up thing, pretty cute. But she has filed for divorce from her French husband. But the thing is, her husband is apparently kicking her out of their New York home on Monday, and she's like, well, I'm going to be homeless, because with coronavirus, I don't really have a place to go,

and New York's obviously so bad with it. And with the courts shut down, she's filed for an emergency one, and it's just have a place to go and New York's obviously so bad with it and with the courts shut down, she's filed for like an emergency one and it's just all a bit of a shamble. So she's like, yeah, I'm going to be homeless, which I'm sure she'll find somewhere to stay. He's been nice. He's given her three days to find a place.

It's not like saying I'm kicking you out on Friday. You know, he's given her a lead in time. Surely he can find some. He's being reasonable, you reckon? I think he's being reasonable. He said, hey. Well, I mean, clearly they're not getting along. Yeah. So he doesn't want. He's being reasonable, you reckon? I think he's being reasonable. He said, hey. Well, I mean, clearly they're not getting along. Yeah.

So he doesn't want to spend any more time with her than he needs to. She can go back to where she was originally. I mean, they had Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey staying in the same house with Danny Tanner, didn't they? So they lived in a really full house and they didn't have to kick her out. So she can just go back there. And Dakota Johnson, she is with Chris Martin,

lead singer of Coldplay. She was chosen to direct Coldplay's latest music video and she bet other filmmakers who applied for it. Oh, so she's Chris Martin's partner? Yeah, and she's trying to say, oh no, there wasn't any, I wasn't being favored. But apparently she's been chosen. And the backing up of that is that she's like,

yeah, I was super detailed. I had everything planned about the music video, even to the laces of what the people were wearing in the video. And so that's apparently why she got chosen. Well, mind you, if Chris was like, I'm having this competition, she's like, I should enter. He's like, oh, okay. He has to choose her.

Or else she's going to Kick him out of the house He's going to have No reason Why even have the competition Just go make our music video Yeah exactly True Just say I'll do it

Okay cool fine Yeah then no one Would have complained right See this is why Coldplay Is the worst Hey Hey Hey

No one says bad things About Coldplay I told you about my love For Coldplay I'm in the minority But I do love Coldplay I'm with you there, Benny boy. For more spy,

you can head to Are you going to go out on Juliet's boat as well? That's what we listen to on the yacht. Eat fine cheeses and Coldplay. Got my boat shoes

ready to go. For more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex

on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.