Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 25 - Sam Neil, BoozeTalkZB, Your Adult Playground Accidents

Episode Date: May 24, 2020

Sam Neil called inThe A To Z Of New ZealandWe want to hear your adult playground accidentsSimon Bridges called inBen reflects on past car crashesSpyBoozeTalkZBWe want to hear your claim to fameWin An AdScrolling Through Your FeedRude AwakeningNews In BeepsSpySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. It is Monday. It's a big show today. We're joined by the former leader of the National Party, Simon Bridges. Yeah, we are. Sorry, my headphones are just cool fully. We wouldn't talk about this on the normal radio show, but on the podcast intro, talk about the fact that the headphones just completely bounced off my head. Yeah. Yeah, interesting chat there. How's your miniature? I don't know.

They don't really – my ears aren't conducive to wearing headphones. Right. They don't really – so they always just sort of slip off quite a bit. I find these quite – or other than that, I've got a very slippery head. I'm a very slippery guy. You're going to get your head up before you come into work in the morning. As far as – oh, no, yeah. Again, we wouldn't do this on the radio.

We probably would, to be honest. Sam Neill, the legendary Kiwi actor, joins us on the radio we probably would to be honest Sam Neill the legendary Kiwi actor joins us on the podcast as well so it's a big show now whatever you wanted to say that was so important we keep reading out emails from our former employer MediaWorks who haven't taken us off their email list it's been what six months

now yeah it has yeah you're right yeah it's been six months so latest email from MediaWorks car PA589 has left their lights on in the car park. So, hopefully, if they're listening, they can go and turn those off. Because, no, nothing worse than getting into your car and realising that you've left your lights on. No, you're right. Isn't it?

The battery, you've got to call the AA, or if you don't, the jumper leads. That's a rigmarole. That is a rigmarole. That's the sort of banter that we like to do before the podcast. Also, they're clearing out the P-Drive as well. All right, we're done with that. P-Drives are going away this Friday. The Songy Corn Flakes of Radio.

It's Jono and Matt on the hits. Is this the one and only Sam Neill? I'm about to connect you with the one and only Sam Neill. I won't say I'm disappointed. No, who says I'm not? This is the one and only who? This is the one and only Courtney who and only Sam Neill. I might say I'm disappointed. This is the one and only who? This is the one and only Courtney who works with Sam Neill. Courtney?

Even better than the Sam Neill? Yeah, much better, much better. We tried to book an interview with you, Courtney, but you were too busy. Oh, well, yeah, I know. I'm too busy running errands for Sam. What do you do for Sam? Publicity. Oh, nice.

Yeah. Did he hurt his eye? Did he hurt his eye? He's all right now. Oh, that's good. Well, thank you very much for organizing this for us. We appreciate it. No, of course.

Absolutely. I saw it when the request came through. I said, we've got to say yes to these guys. Oh, that's very kind of you. Thank you. Thank you, Courtney. We hope we don't make you regret that. As you can imagine, he gets many, many requests. I can imagine, yes.

You went straight to the top. On that note, should I get him for you? That would be lovely. Yeah, all right. Hold on just a moment, guys. Courtney is pushing our bloody egotistical radio buttons, isn't she? I like Courtney. She is.

Get Courtney back on. Hey, guys, you're on with Sam now. Sam Neill? Hey, Sam, can I just say Courtney's doing a wonderful job for you. Good. I thought I'd give you a bit of feedback just in case you were thinking of firing her. She's doing a great job, Sam. She's great. How are you, Sam?

Very good. You're in Australia in quarantine while you were in the middle of filming the new Jurassic World movie. Yes, we had to sort of skedaddle out of the northern climes and back. Went into quarantine as soon as I got back to Australia and I've been here ever since. And now it's very difficult to get back to New Zealand, obviously. So you were filming... I'm not quite sure. I'm darkening the doors again, you know.

So you were filming in London, was that right right one uh for the new jurassic world movie and and then you had to race back to australia well i was in marrakesh on another job and then i was going straight on to the jurassic thing and um i had one night in london and then they said get on the plane so wow um yeah they've started work on that. They've been filming for a couple of weeks, but I'm yet to break into a run. Are you going to send all your bits via Zoom or something and they'll edit you into the film? Well, we're supposed to start in July.

You know, July, August. I'm not quite sure how we do that, but they seem to have plans afoot. Oh, that's good. But obviously it's not easy when you're up close and personal on a movie set to keep the required distances. No one quite knows how it's going to work. I know. It's interesting. Well, the last time we spoke to you, you said the original one was Steven Spielberg running

around with a tennis ball on a broomstick for a lot of the special effects do you think they have advanced the special effects for this one or about the same i think there's going to be a lot of green screen and um a lot of people shouting in your ear you know t-rex behind you you need to use your imagination a great deal at least you know that that sort of iconic shot where i take my sunglasses off um uh bizarrely um when you want to see yeah you want to see a very big dinosaur um you know there wasn't anything to see but um um yeah there'll be a fair bit of that gaping and gawping and then running like hell.

Yeah, good. But they'll all be, all the dinosaurs will be at a socially acceptable distance away from everyone. Yeah, that's right. But, of course, most of the animatronic dinosaurs take about 20 people to run them. And they're all, you know all nerds around a little machine can't do too much of the magic

those nerds need to be well well mastered I love it, do you get on set and say good morning nerds yeah I have really enjoyed watching you on social media during lockdown Sam

you've been playing Uptown Funk on a ukulele. You've been hosting virtual wine tasting, which seems like a great excuse to get drunk over social media. But you really have done a great job entertaining the world. Oh, thanks. Yeah. I just did one with Rachel House and Kura Forrester, which I was very happy with.

You seen that? I haven't seen it. Kuda's very talented. Yeah, they're great, those girls. And it's called Das Underachiever. They arrive at my house and they've been doing everything. They've been learning Russian. They've been doing yoga.

There's nothing they haven't been doing in lockdown. And all I've been doing is plunking on a ukulele. I was very happy with that one. And then I've got another little one coming up in the weekend with Helena Bonham Carter. Oh wow, mate. Just a little social video with Helena Bonham

Carter. We'll see how it goes, see if it gets any traction. Yes, we'll see how it goes. So who's looking after your vineyard at the moment, because you're in Australia you've got the uh the very famous two paddocks vineyard who you've got to trust someone there's got to be a special friend that looks after that oh yeah yeah um Mike and Jackie run that run that light clockwork and um and we you know we've got the new vintage came in and that was quite a challenge in itself. We had the very strict protocols around the vineyard

and no one could be picking in the same row and you had to stick to your own bucket all day and that sort of thing. So very time consuming and very labour intensive but all the grapes are in now. I'm very happy for that. Yeah. Can I tell you what I've fallen in love with during lockdown or what I fell in love with during lockdown was Peaky Blinders.

I didn't even know you were in it, Sam Neill, but then when I saw you, you were incredible. And it's quite a stabby, shooty, sexy sort of show. And I was like, is there anything Sam Neill wouldn't do for a role? Like, dress as Hitler, for example. Taika might have beat you. Taika did that one, didn't he? Yeah, yeah.

But do you ever get asked to do anything for a role that you're like, oh, I just can't do that as an actor? Oh, yeah, quite often. Yeah, quite often. Yeah, quite often. And it's not really the difficult parts. It's the easy parts that I tend to go, look, I've been there before. I don't think there's any reason to go there again.

And let's just give it a miss. That's generally the way it goes. Or you start reading a script and you start going to sleep at about page 10 and you think, if it's not working for me, it's not going to work for an audience. Those are my rules of thumb, generally. Right, so if you fall asleep during a script read, it's not a good sign. Has there ever been a role that you've turned down that you've gone, oh, jeez, I wish I took that? Yes, there's only one.

It was one of the guys in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Oh, wow. And I would have liked to have been one of those drag queens. But I didn't get it. I didn't think it was funny. I thought it was a bit patronising or something. And I

loved it when it came out. And I thought, I should have been on that bus. Oh, yeah, you would have been great. Well, I don't know if my dancing would have been interesting. Hugo took your role. No, it was if my dancing would have been in it. Who got the... Hugo was... Oh, Hugo took your role.

No, it was Terrence Stamp's role, actually. Ah. But that's the only thing I've ever regretted. Now, last time we saw... I'm yet to play a drag queen, but it's never too late. That's true. Last time we saw you, you told us a great story

about sitting next to Princess Diana at a premiere and your son embarrassing you by passing wind. Have you got another story that beats that, or is that your go-to story now? He's still mortified that I've told that story and denies it was him, but I know it was him. And he's a big farter to this day. I don't know why he bothers to deny this,

because it was clearly him. But it happened halfway through, because nothing much happens in that film, if you analyze it. Nothing happens for three quarters of an hour. And then as soon as there's the shaky glass, the dinosaurs start turning up and everything goes to mayhem. And that's about the time the farting started. He's mortified that she's gone now, Princess Diana.

It's too late to apologise. He ruined her night. Yeah. But she had small children of her own at this point, so she must have understood. Yeah, I mean, children are gassy. They're gassy beans. They are.

So were you worried that Diana thought it was you through the whole movie? Well, that was the problem. See, there was a draft, a big cinema. There was a draft that was going in an east-west direction, and I was upwind from her. And she was probably thinking, you know, that's a grown man. What are you doing?

He's one of the stars of this movie. So I could almost start breaking out into a sweat. I'm sitting beside royalty, and I know she's blaming me. That's a great story. Oh, my God. Elton John could have done a parody of his own song something in the wind yeah with sam neill uh now who's who's in quarantine in australia at the moment yeah um oh sorry uh well not exactly quarantine things things have um things have really eased

off um schools going back all sorts of things like that. And, you know, restaurants in a small way. Of course, it's not the same as it was, but things have really eased off. But travel restrictions are still very strong. I'm not even sure if you can fly to New Zealand at the moment. No, I don't know if you can at the moment. No, the borders are shut.

Last time, actually, you probably don't remember this, Sam, we interviewed you when you were doing junkets for Hunt for the Wilderpeople. And I was getting changed. I'm very unprofessional. I don't know why I was naked in front of Sam Neill. But then you were like, oh, you've got...

I don't think you're fully naked. I was butt naked in front of Sam Neill. It's not an embellished story. And you said, oh, you've got tattoos. I'll take photos of the tattoos. I was wondering if my tattoos are still clogging up the photo stream on your camera. Because your son or your son-in-law was a tattooist? No, my daughter's a tattooist and a very good one.

Down at Lake Hawia. There you go. Did you show her and was she judgmental of my tattoo choices? I mean, I've got a dog smoking a cigarette on my chest. She's very accepting of tattoos that otherwise probably wouldn't pass muster in her particular studio. It's a polite way of saying they put it on the,

what not to do the wall of shame. Samuel, I got to ask a question. I was researching last night and it said that once in Canada, you were, you're not let into a party for U2. Is that a true story or is that a false? You don't have to go into details, but was that a true story or a false story?

No, we were at the party, and then there was a strange bouncer because everyone was outside with Bono, and there was a DJ inside, and there was six or eight of us. We thought it was kind of boring being outside, being a cluster around Bonner. So we went inside and started to dance. We were a little bit pissed at this point, I think. And there was an overzealous bouncer

who'd been told that we were gatecrashers and he threw us out of his party. And the next day, U2's PR person rang up and said, he got chucked out. And I said, yeah, I was a little offended by that, as a matter of fact, because we were just doing what you're supposed to do with DJs, which is dance. And she said, I'm so sorry.

Look, would you like to, are you free today? Would you like to come to Boston with us? You and a friend, come on the YouTube plane, and we'll go to Boston, we'll put you up somewhere, just to make up for this. And I said, yeah, I think that would be quite good. So the next thing, I'm sitting opposite the edge and Bonner in a 737 and we

wing our way to Boston we get out, there's a cavalcade of cars with cops with lights on the back of their motorbikes and things and we roared into Boston no red lights anywhere the only people they do this

for are the President the Rolling Stones and you too red lights anywhere. The only people they do this for are the president, the Rolling Stones, and you too. You get a full, and you never stop for anything. You just go straight to the hotel. I saw them two nights in a row. It's an extraordinary operation. When they get out of the car, there are like 15 limos. When they get out of the car, there are like 15 limos. When they get out of the plane, there's 15 limos lined up.

And, you know, Bonner gets in the first one. The Edge gets in the second one. I think I was in number five with their manager. So there's nothing. There's never anything. They're never taken by surprise by anything. No one's going, I think you should take this one. They just get out.

It's all automatic. It's extraordinary. And they had, this was the 360 tour. I think each set was like, I don't know, it cost millions or something. They had three of them rotating around the United States so that while there's one traveling, there's one setting up,

and there's one playing that night. Wow. Amazing operation. I was absolutely staggered. But Bono said a very Bono-ish thing to me that always amuses me. He said, I said, I was amazed, Bono, you know, being in that crowd, the feedback that was coming back.

We were in the sort of mosh pit area, and just the warmth and coming out of the crowd, they know the words of every song. And the response you get is extraordinary. I'd never expected that. He said, Sam, that's our drug of choice. What? That's so gnomish, you know.

Did they pay for your flight back, or were you just stranded in Boston? I'm only first back. Oh, that's very nice. It was a round trip. Yeah. Sam Neill with us on the phone. Sam, you've been in over 120 films and TV projects, and we just wanted to play a little game with you where we name the film and you have to name the character.

This is Sam I Am. Okay, Sam Neill. It was a 1977 New Zealand dramatic action thriller film named Sleeping Dogs. What was Sam Neill's character? Oh, my God. I've completely forgotten. What was the name of the character? Smith.

Oh, Smith. Yeah, of course it was. It was. It was Smith. It was a couple of years, a while ago.. It was a hell of a year ago. A while ago. How can we forget Smith? It was based on Smith's dream. Yeah.

How could I forget that? It was a 1981 American-British supernatural horror film directed by Graham Baker. Omen 3, The Final Conflict. What was Sam Neill's character? Oh, I know this one. Damien. That's right.

Damien Thorne. Well done. A 1990 submarine spy thriller film, The Hunt for Red October. You were Captain who? Was it Borodin? Yes. Captain Borodin. Well done.

A 1993 New Zealand period drama film about a psychologically mute young woman and her pre-adolescent daughter, The Piano. He was? Stuart. That's daughter, the piano. He was... Stuart. That's right. Well done, he's on fire. 2004 rom-com directed by Richard Locraine, Wimbledon.

You were Dennis who? Oh my God, I have no idea. It was Dennis Bradbury. That's obscure. Dennis Bradbury. You're obscure. Dennis Bradbury. You're like, oh, what's that? I don't think they ever told me that. I think it would have turned the punt down partly.

They never told me his surname. A 1993 science fiction adventure directed by Steven Spielberg, Jurassic Park. Your character was, Sam Neill. Alan Graham. There we go. A 2001 science fiction adventure film called Jurassic Park. You were Doctor Who. Doctor Hammond.

That was a surprise. And a 2016 New Zealand comedy, adventure comedy, directed by Taika Waititi, Hunt for the Wilderpeople. Sam Neill was who? Uncle Heck. Well done. Well done. If I was you, I wouldn't be able to remember many of those.

No. Dennis Bradbury. That's really, really obscure. He's not happy with Dennis Bradbury. That's really, really obscure. He's not happy with Dennis Bradbury. Bradbury, really? He's going to write to the producers of Wimbledon and say, get me out of that film. Yeah, exactly.

Not too late. Sam, it's always good to talk to you. It's a real highlight for us. We love seeing you on the screen. We're so proud of everything you do. So thank you for taking the time and stay safe. And I hope you're back to work soon. And may I say, well done to New Zealand.

It's just absolutely extraordinary, the response to COVID. It's been fantastic. Yeah. Oh, good on you, Sam. It's been fantastic. Good on you. Keep safe over there, Sam Neill. Thank you.

Yeah, can't wait to get home. See you, guys. See you. Remember to double pump the Virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. This is something that's going to take us over two years to complete. We ring a different town or place in New Zealand,

one a day every day, and we do it alphabetically. We've shown more commitment to this than we have our families. I thought by now we would have given up on this, but I actually really enjoy finding out about New Zealand. Yeah, usually we're the type of people, like, we do something when they get bored of it within seven days, and then we move on to the next thing. Not this, but I actually really enjoy finding out about New Zealand. Yeah, usually we're the type of people, like, we do something when they get bored of it within seven days, and then we move on to the next thing. Not this, though. We have nailed our foot to the floor on this for two and a half

years. I'm worried. Look at me. I might not be around in two and a half years, Ben. Look at this. Producer Ben Humphrey, he was saying that maybe at the end of it, we should put together a podcast of all the A to Zs. That would be a tough listen. Wouldn't it?

We'll just approve that we've done it. I don't know if we should burden the internet with that. Well, let's worry about that in two years' time. Okay, we're only into week three. We're only talking about the magnificent podcast at the finish line. We're going to find Ana Kiwa, which is in the South Island,

top of the South Island, sort of Marlborough Sounds region, and producer Julie... She keeps going, Alward Bound, Al of Marlborough Sounds region, and producer Julie... She keeps going, outward bound! Outward bound! Producer Juliet, the only fact she knows about Arnakeyware is it's the home to... Outward bound! There you go!

No, you haven't actually. We're like, oh, did you do outward bound there? But you haven't. No, so I was meant to do it around the age of 18. I got it for my 18th birthday, but I've just never found the time to do it. You look like an outward bound type of person. Yeah, you look like you'd enjoy it. I've never done it, but you look like you would enjoy it. Yes. I mean, it does end in a 21k run, but I've just never found the time to do it. You look like an outward bound type of person. Yeah, you look like you would enjoy it. I've never done it, but you look like you would enjoy it. Yes. I mean, it does end in a 21k run, but... What is

outward bound? It's basically a I think you go for three weeks, no phone or anything with a bunch of randoms and you do like, you go sailing, you go rock climbing, you have to do a solo for two days, have to run, trekking, hiking, all outdoorsy stuff. It sounds like torture.

No phone, three ways, randoms, running between, oh my god, you've just described hell. You've been a comeback, you've discovered yourself and you're a better person. Okay, so we're going to go through to Anakiwi right now, find out a bit more about the town, if there's any more to it than Outward Bound. Going to head through to

a lodge here in Anakiwi. Home to 177 people? The lodge. That would be a cult a lodge here in Anakiwa. Home to 177 people. The lodge. That would be a cult. It's a big lodge. Anakiwa 401. Anakiwa 401. It's Jono and Ben at the hits.

Welcome to the A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling every town and city in New Zealand. There's 570 of them. Well done. You're number 15 on the list alphabetically. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. there's 570 of them well done you're number 15 on the list alphabetically interesting interesting yeah yeah not the response

that we were hoping for maybe a bit more of a wow yeah wow I'm just trying to work out if this is a wind up or if it's serious

oh well that's exciting for us both our town and yourself oh well not many people in your town

no we live in a very small village you're in the sounds there there's a lot of forestry for us both, our town and yourself. Oh, well, not many people in your town. No, we live in a very small village. You're in the sounds there. There's a lot of forestry. It looks like there'll be a lot of nude people, a lot of naturists. Is it a high naturist colony? Well, I'm not aware that there are a lot of naturists in our area, no.

Yeah, it feels like a place that you'd want to be naked and play volleyball in. It's certainly a very, very beautiful area. There's no doubt about that. But as to the nakedness of our holiday makers and visitors, I'm not so sure about. What do you do there?

I run a guest house called Anakeewa 401. There's bird life, there's seals, there's seahorses, free for everybody to come over and take a piece of it. I'm looking at a photo of your lodge right now. It's beautiful.

Oh, excellent. Yeah, it looks beautiful. Are you coming to visit then? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're tempted, aren't you? Yeah, okay. You want to. You want to.

Yeah, well, that'd be a nice end to the segment, Jono, if you just book in. Okay, I'll see you need my credit card number now. That sounds like a deal to me. Okay, all right. To support local business at the time, you know, Jono, if you just book in. OK, I'll just need my credit card number now. That sounds like a deal to me. OK, all right, OK. To support local business and the time, you know, Jono, you just book in there. Can't wait to hand over my credit card details

and come to your place and get naked. Get naked. I can't wait to collect your credit card details. I'm not sure about watching you get naked, though. I don't know why you wouldn't want to get naked. We could play badminton to get naked. For some reason, that's really not ringing my bell. No one needs that in the morning.

Have a good time fishing today, eh? You have a wonderful day. Thank you very much, guys. Good on you, buddy. Serving bowls of lulz for breakfast. Actual lulz may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. After your APAs, your adult playground accidents,

0800 the hits the telephone number. You can text too. I'd love to get your text, 4487. Telephone number's 0800 843 4487. On the weekend, outside our place, the local riffraff came out. The kids. Right. I don't know if they're riffraff.

That's just what you say when you're my age. Everyone's riffraff. You're riffraff a lot. Look at you, riffraff with your shirt and it's got all the stains on it being... It's fashion. Riffraff. You wouldn't understand, old man. That's what you say if you're riffraff, eh?

But there was about six kids from the street and they were erecting a zip line. So between two trees outside on the berm. And I was like, oh jeez I need to watch this because it's like going to the stock cars. You want to see the carnage, don't you? And I should have answered that. I probably should have stepped in. But I was like

no, no, no. Let's see how this plays out. So they did the rope up one tree, tied it around in one end. You know, it's the stuff you dream of doing when you're a kid but you never quite pull off. And then they climbed to the other tree and they climbed up. So what were they sort of like trying to slide across with? Yeah, so they had the rope and then they had the handlebars with the wheels on it.

So you could put it over the rope and then go down like something you'd see on Jumanji. Yeah, yeah. Or something. So, yeah, at one point they were like, should we use the power line? And that's when I had to step in. I was like, no, I'm meant to be the semi-sensible one here. And then they got into a bit of an argument. So it was about 45 minutes for them to set it up.

And then there was debate about who wants to go first. They all wanted to go first. And I was thinking, at what age do you argue about going last? Yeah. When you start thinking about consequences. You're like, oh, I want to go first. You go first and I'll see how it goes. Anyway, so the little kid got up there and we all started chanting.

I love how you're right in amongst this. I was literally sitting on the footpath. It was one of those moments that I was watching that if my wife came out, she'd be like, you're an adult. Take control of the situation. But yeah, we're chanting and we're like, I'll just make up his name. Billy, Billy, Billy. And he went down at a rate of knots

and it hits, you know, when you stop at the other end and you swing up. Oh, yes. He almost swing. He almost did 360. He came up to the top and then just dropped,

just like dropped straight down. But he held on. Wow. He did really well. You know, it was about five or six goes in and I was like, well, surely I need,

I can do this now. I've put the kids out there as the trash. The guinea pigs have gone. I'm going to have a crack., surely I can do this now. I've put the kids out there as the trash. The guinea pigs have gone. I'm going to have a crack. And so I gave it a bash. And I injured myself. But I didn't even get on the zip line.

What did you do? I twisted my ankle climbing up the tree. No. Yes. Sorry, kids, I'm out. I'm late. Oh, man. I was like, I can't do it. Because I already had a little bit of a niggle in the ankle

You did, you did And I just really She didn't know how you got it That's another old man thing I don't know how I did it But it's always a little bit tender The cold weather on my joints So yeah, I didn't even get to

I injured myself on a zip line Without even going on the zip line Wow So yeah, I didn't even get to zip. I injured myself on a zip line without even going on the zip line. Wow. So, yeah, adult playground accidents. Have you found yourself stuck inside a toddler's swing or something? Oh, yeah, that can happen, right? Or a slide that you overestimated when you went down.

My grandma, I was talking about her the other day. We used to live in Amberley Beats. We used to walk up to the park. She wore high heels everywhere. That was her thing. To the park? She walked up to the park and she wore high heels everywhere. That was her thing. To the park? She walked up to the park and was playing around with us at the park and then she was like,

oh, let's play some tennis. High heels. And rolled her ankle. Not even Serena Williams could play tennis in high heels. No, and then rolled her ankle. I remember her dragging her leg back with high heels

because she couldn't move it on. I was like, wow. That's an adult that shouldn't be wearing high heels at the park. move it on. I was like, wow. As an adult, they shouldn't be wearing high heels at the park. Although that should be a new form of tennis. High heel tennis. Just the jeopardy in high heel tennis. Could go wrong at any moment. Alright, 0800

the hits telephone number 0800 843 4487. APAs, adult playground accidents. Lower Hutt this morning is always the shining jewel in Aotearoa. And Adrian is coming to us from the hut. How are you, buddy? I'm good, thank you.

Good to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast. What was your adult playground accident? So I was a nanny about nine years ago, and I was trying to teach a two-year-old boy how to swing on a swing. And my foot got caught underneath the swing I was on, and my full body weight went down on it. It didn't break, but it was pretty painful. It was a whole block away, so I had to walk him home.

It's like Ben's poor grandmother in high heels playing tennis, dragging her leg home. It's a vivid memory as a child, watching your grandmother drag her leg. Like a wounded soldier. Yeah. Adrian, did you teach the kid how to swing? I don't think that they know. No, so taught them how not to do it too,

which is also a valuable life lesson. Thank you very much for your call. And Whanganui, Tony, welcome. Hello. Hey, do you have your New Zealand's brickie, Tony? How's your Monday? Good, good. Yeah, good.

You're lying through your teeth there. No one lies Monday, but I appreciate it. I am. I didn't even know it was Monday. What was your adult playground accident, Tony? Well, you know those fantastic hamster wheels that you run on, and they're all great fun until someone gets hurt? Yeah, it just seems like an accident waiting to happen though.

Yeah, what happened? Yeah, so I challenged my niece and we were having a good run on one and she was running quite a bit quicker than I was and it sucked me up the side of the wall. I fell face first from the top. Did you just drop down? Yep, broke my nose

and my glasses and within a week had two massive black eyes. Oh, no. Also, the force of it wrapped you up to the top and then just let you go. Was there a part where you're like, I'm going to make it, I'm going to make it? I'm going to get right around.

There was a part that I was going, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop, too late. We went on one of those in Timaru. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they get quite a bit of pace up, don't they? Yes Well, I don't know You never know how to stop them

Because once they're going, they're going You kind of need to jump out But yeah, fail Yeah, or you can ride it round to the top And drop down Oh, Tony, such a good story I'm sorry about that, though Thank you very much for your call

Eggs for breakfast It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, on Friday, Simon Bridges was overthrown as leader of the National Party. Politics, it's a brutal game, isn't it? And we said just before, no matter your political allegiance, you've got to feel for Simon as a human being. So we thought we'd check in with Simon this morning, see how he's feeling. And he joins us on the phone.

Simon, how's things? Yeah, I'm good, mate. I'm actually really good. I look disappointed, but it happens, eh? Felt sorry for you, Simon, because, you know,, I'm good, mate. I'm actually really good. Look, disappointed, but it happens, eh? Felt sorry for you, Simon, because, you know, we've worked with you a couple of times and you're a lovely man, you're a nice guy, and I was like, why are they backstabbing politics?

Politics is a dirty, rotten business, my friends. Isn't it? Yeah, yeah, nah, it's all good. I mean, look, there's silver linings to all these things, eh? I've got, you know, like I'm just taking the week off now, so who knows what I'll do, mate. We appreciate you talking to us, as I say, and I really like the way you put it into perspective the other day.

You sort of said to your wife, well, you explain it, like... Yeah, and I said, if I win, I win. If I lose, we win. And that's definitely true, right? So it's really cool. Oh, so more family time. Yeah. That's awesome.

That really is a great perspective to have on it. It must be a weight off your shoulders, though, Simon. You must be like, thank God I don't have to take that dog into the election. Well, you know, there's a little bit of that. I mean, I just think about this, guys. You know, just a couple of weeks ago, I was with you guys.

I was part of the world record longer Zoom call. You know, top of the world. Once a peacock, now a feather duck. My life goes on. You had that book that we were talking about, that big book from Singapore, and you hadn't read it. Well, you've got time now, Simon. A page a day.

A page a day, right? I'm going to be a much wiser man. I mean, I'll tell you what I did do over the weekend. I used a chainsaw for the first time, like, for two hours, and I've got muscles all over the place that I never knew I had. So it's things like that, right? I chopped up all this wood. I got time for my kids.

So, yeah, some definite silver linings. Now, were you pretending the tree was Todd Muller? No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't do that. No, not at all. Look, I just, you know, I mean, I'm still part of the national team, but I just wish the best for it. I think it's a great team, and I wish Todd and the team all the best.

It's been a great privilege being leader of the opposition, but it's also a great pleasure and privilege. I don't know how long have I been the MP. MP for 12 years, and, you know, I'll still continue with that, I think. I really enjoy that. How do you find out about that someone's coming for your job? You know, do you hear whispers? Do you get an email?

And then when you do, is it hard not to take that personally, you know, and to separate that? Yeah, there's a little bit of that, right? You sort of get a sense of it. It wasn't really until the day before, which I knew, you know, for sure that there was something going on. And so, you know, I talked around with a few people, and that's when I sort of did what I did which was

to say, oh well look, if this is going to happen let's get it on so we can move into the next week fresh and with sort of the National Party able to get on with the job it's got to do which is to stick up for New Zealanders and win an election. So yeah, I knew about 24

hours before I sort of pulled the trigger. Now, do you like walk into a room and everyone's talking and then they all stop talking? They're like, hey, Simon. You're like, hey, what's going on, guys? Buddy, buddy, over the last couple of years, I've got pretty used to that. You get paranoid.

I imagine you would get paranoid. Oh, yeah. Look, you've got to be careful about that. You've got to make sure you just stay true to yourself and your values. It definitely takes a toll on your family politics. As I said in my sort of closing speech to the media there, the gladiator in the arena, which I suppose is what I've been,

doesn't always feel the blows, but your family does. So as I say, this weekend, whether it's chainsawing, whether it's running around with the kids, I'm sure Todd's had an incredibly stressful weekend. Look, I've had a great one, and it's pretty cool for me. So the vote happened. Do you have to clear your office out that afternoon? Does the salary drop instantly?

Does your press person have to leave? Does it all happen pretty quickly? Yeah, there's a bit of that, right? So, no, you're definitely right. I mean, as the leader of the opposition, I was on the salary of bit of that, right? So, no, you're definitely right. I mean, you know, I'm on the, as the leader of the opposition, I was on the salary of a cabinet minister, right? So then drops are sort of by half. So, yep, there's all of that.

And then staff, look, they don't, it's a bit tricky. It depends what Tom and the team decide to do with some of them. So for many of them, they will stay on. Some, though, you know, look, I suppose they get used to certain style with me and will go. That's the way it sort of goes. As for my office, look, yeah, you know, it gets cleared out. And, you know, I've got a couple of antique Persian rugs

that are getting rolled up probably as we speak. And I said to my staff on the way, burn all the file notes. Don't let anyone read them. Shred them. Shred them. Shred it. Just a shred of read them. Shred them. Shred them. Shred it. That's the credit, darling. Clear my internet history.

I mean, one of the... It's a funny old thing, though, in Parliament, right? You're in the Parliament building. There's these office spaces that seem to be reserved for the former leaders of the opposition. I sort of move into a slightly bigger office, but with no one much around me. It's been a great ride, lots of highs and lows,

but a real privilege and a blast. And, you know, I'm looking forward to the next chapter, a bit of time with my family, a bit of taking stock. In comparison with you guys, I'm an old geezer, but at 43, I feel like I've got something to give. You look 20 years younger than me, Simon. Did Jacinda call you or text you? I don't think she had talk with Jacinda.

I must admit, Phil Goff, for example, takes one to know when he was there. He sent me a great text and we had a bit of a chat about all of that. And so, I mean, it's huge. I mean, God, to be honest, it's been a massive workload because there's been like hundreds of texts coming and thousands of emails. But it's at those times when you realise you're not alone. There's a lot of people rooting for you, thinking of you, and that appreciate what it's been like and the journey

and the ride that it's been. Well, thank you very much for your time today on a difficult week. And it's so good to hear you being so positive and finding the silver lining in this situation, Simon. Because we know when our TV show got cancelled, not quite the same, but it's a public, it's such a public thing that everyone knows. You can't go away and avoid everyone because

everyone knows, oh, your show got cancelled. Well, this end up having to talk about it 20 times a day. Yeah, well, I was thinking maybe I'd go into the supermarket with like a COVID mask and some sunglasses on. Yeah, do that today. Nah, but you're right and that's the way it goes. You know, I know for myself and you guys the same,

we just hold our head up high and be proud of what we've done and our families and keep on carrying on. So, you know, got a lot to feel blessed about. Well, hey, listen, thank you on behalf of the public for all the time and effort and sacrifice you put in, you know, losing family time and stuff. You sound more relaxed now, and I hope you enjoy your new lifestyle, Simon Bridges.

Hey, cheers, my friends. Simon Bridges, thank you for your time this morning. You sound more relaxed now and I hope you enjoy your new lifestyle, Simon Bridges. Hey, cheers my friends. Simon Bridges, thank you for your time this morning. Really appreciate that. What's more, Jono and Ben, you can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Jono, this happened?

I've had no accidents. I've wrecked my car off twice in my own driveway. True story. What? Yeah, in my driveway. You're the one who's in the accident. I've wrecked my car off twice in my own driveway. True story. What? Twice, yeah, in my driveway. That's the story for another day. What day? You say it's the story for another day?

Let's book it in now. I know how the radio thing works. This is not where we're going. Let's go Monday. Okay, Monday. Monday. Yeah, go story for another day. It'll be Monday.

Now, New Zealand's waited with bated breath over the weekend, or we lost many good people due to a lack of oxygen over the weekend just waiting with bated breath. This is not a story I really wanted to tell, but I'm not proud of the fact that I've managed to ride off two cars over the weekend or we lost many good people due to a lack of oxygen over the weekend just waiting with bated breath for Ben's story. I really wanted to tell but I'm not proud of the fact that I've managed to ride off two cars in my own driveway but it's happened.

I'm proud because it means we get some wonderful radio fodder. I agree. Producer Juliette, have you crashed any cars? Oh yeah. Actually in someone else's driveway. Oh, there you go, driveways.

I knocked their letterbox over. That can happen. Because it happens. Yeah, there you go, driveways. I knocked their letterbox over. That can happen. It can happen. Knocking a letterbox over, that's an acceptable accident to drive. Writing off two cars in a driveway. Yeah, both in very unfortunate circumstances. The first was when I was growing up in the Wairarapa.

We lived on a farm, about 25 minutes out of Carterton. And I decided for one day I was driving down a long sort of driveway we had. I was like, I'll push the odometer, you know, like I'll reset that and see how far away we exactly are from town. This is before Google Maps, obviously, were a thing. I'm a teenager driving down the road.

I used to have to go on my horse and cart back in the day. Lucky technology had advanced to an odometer when you were driving. And as I put my hand through the steering wheel, you know, through as I was going to push the odometer, I kind, I put my hand through the steering wheel, you know, through as I was going, to push the odometer, I kind of got it wedged between the steering wheel and the indicator. And for some reason... Had you gone up underneath the steering wheel? I'd gone through the gap in the hole.

I don't know why I'd done that. But anyway, I got it wedged in between there. And as I went to turn, for some reason, I didn't think of putting on the brake. I just veered off straight into a tree. Straight into a bag. It all happened so quickly. You panic, don't you? If anything, you'd probably put your foot on the accelerator

to go faster. So I rode off a car that time that way on a driveway and then another one, it was a few years ago. I was in my own driveway. Sorry, how many K's had you done for the odometer? Did you ever find it? I hadn't even done one. You hadn't even clicked over.

No, that was the sad thing. It was exactly zero Ks from the time I've pushed it to the time I hit a tree. The other time was in the driveway at home here in Auckland and we've got quite a narrow driveway to drive through at the best of times. Very hard to get out of and I'd

parked up because it's kind of up on a little hill where the house is on a rise. I swear I put the handbrake on. And it clicked off. Because I came inside and there was these kids knocking on the door going, do you drive a such and such car? And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, well, it's in the middle of the road.

And it had gone. It had backed itself out. Perfectly. Like it hadn't hit anything, right? Out across. Two lanes of traffic. Traffic. Oh, thank goodness to this day that no one was there.

And it hit the house across the road's fence and then back into the middle of the road and just sat there. And these cars were sort of just driving around it in the middle of the road. I'm like, oh my God. I love motorists say, too busy to get to work, so we'll just drive around this car. That is literally just...

I was like, jeez. So yeah, I don't know what happened with the handbrake there. Well, that car, that was the end of that one. I know what happened with the handbrake. You didn't put end of that one. I know what happened with the handbrake. You didn't put it on. I did put it on. You didn't put it on. I did put it on.

Well, then how'd the car roll backwards? I don't know. It clicked off. It clicked off. It malfunctioned. I did put it on. Now I'm so paranoid, I take photos of my handbrake. Really?

When I leave my car. No. Well, if I leave my car for any more than a day, I take a photo of my thing or on a hill just so I can know in my mind that if it ever happens again, I'm like, got the photo. Great photo stream too I've got photo of my thing or on a hill just so I can know in my mind that if it ever happens again, I'm like, oh, the photo. Great photo stream too I've got now of handbrake photos. If you're into handbrake pornography, Ben has got the connection for you.

You should start up a website, handbrakes.com. Put it on the dark web or something. Yeah, all the greatest handbrakes. They're up, they're down, they're halfway. All the positions. Kia ora, this is Toby Mann. I'm the host of Gone By Lunchtime, a podcast for the spin-off podcast network They're halfway. All the positions. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. I reckon. Love it. Gone by lunchtime. Grab one now wherever you get your podcasts. Just like a chocolate milkshake,

only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Buy the What's Up by doco.nz There's nothing that gets producer Juliette out of bed in the morning more than knowing that she's going to expose

the skeletons in the celebrity closets. Welcome, Mildew. Especially when I discuss the royals. I love this. It's my favourite hobby. You're like a 75-year-old woman from Taumaranui trapped in a 22-year-old's body.

You love the royal family, don't you? Yeah, I don't know why, but I just do. So Meghan and Harry, it was announced a while ago that they've got a new biography called Finding Freedom coming out. But it is said that in this biography that it was Harry's decision to leave the royal family and not Meghan's. So apparently he didn't like the term Megxit because it suggests that it was Meghan's idea to leave, obviously.

It's also a clever pun. It is a great pun. I do like the pun. And apparently it was Harry who was unhappy for a long time and he wanted to leave for more than a year and apparently Meghan was the one that was like, are you sure you want to make this decision? And that's that.

Could have gone with has-beens. You know, royal has-beens. See, this is why you're underutilised here on the radio. You should be coming up with international pun headlines

for the Daily Mail. The has-beens. Do you like that one? I like that one. Pitch him that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just send him a text. So you reckon it is her

or him? Well... The world reckon it is her or him? The world thinks it's her, right? The world thinks it's her because as soon as she entered, that's when everything changed, right? But you never know. It's better for us if it's her, isn't it? Yeah, because it provides more entertainment. That's right.

I'm more annoyed as I said the other day, she ruined Suits, the TV show. Oh, yeah. The royal family, I'm like, either way, I could take it or leave it. But the Suits show was a great show and Mike, one of the main characters, he was out. But it's gone, I think it's had its run.

Run its course, Suits. They tried to do another series afterwards. It wasn't quite the same. Imagine if they, because now that they're independent, Harry and Meghan, imagine if she goes back onto Suits to make a bit of money. Well, that's the end. She's voicing over the Disney elephant documentary.

Yeah. She's like, I've always loved elephants. Really? Always loved elephants. I mean, I'm like, yeah, I'm not... I'm indifferent about elephants.

Yeah. But I'm not... She's just saying that. So she's like, oh, I'm so passionate about this elephant project. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to Harry.

Don't lie to the world. We know the truth. You told him to scarve so you could voice a documentary about elephants on Disney. We know the truth. And there's five things to pack and save and Stickman now has Instagram.

You can check him out at instickman. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. It's our job over the weekends, Jono, to ring up Newstalk ZB, the proper radio station here in the building, and pretend to be a little bit drunk.

Inebriated, that's right. And it really makes you question what you're doing with your life when you're sitting on hold for Newstalk ZB to go on and railroad their show. These poor people have done nothing to us. They're the best broadcasters in the country, and that's why we play... Booze Talk ZB. Booze Talk ZB. Okay.

The opinion, the debate. It's Booze Talks ZB Booze Talks ZB Okay The opinion The debate It's Booze Talks ZB Now you have to see How long you can be Let on air for A minute and a half I think is the record Which I never think

We'll get back to No so 90 seconds That's a long time In the world of talkback That's It feels like six months When you're on air Pretending to be drunk

Ben was Started out You were the record holder You started out intoxicated but had sobered up by the end of the phone call. Yeah, it was such a long phone call and I dropped character.

I'm not very good at staying in character. So here's, by accident I phoned the same people the following week and here's how that played out. Jason, hi.

Hi. Hello. Hey Jason. Hey. Yeah. Are you Jono and Ben again? Jono and Ben rang us last week. Did they? They did. Are you Jono and Ben again? Jono and Ben rang us last week. Did they?

They did. No, Jono and Ben. No, Jono and Ben? And then when they savagely burnt us afterwards, they were like, yeah. Fair enough, fair enough. We are big and annoying. But then we awkwardly had to go upstairs last Monday.

We bumped into Tim, one of the hosts, and he did that thing when they point at you, and he's like, you. I know. You did that. I was like, yeah, well, we won't get you again this weekend. And we didn't because Ben, you phoned. Bruce Russell did a great show called In My Day.

Bruce Russell, lovely guy. I've known him for many years. Used to work in the same building as him. He does a great job. He's so busy. He's always on all the time over ZB. And the current record is to beat 90 seconds on air. How did you go?

Well, not great. I kind of didn't really have much of a story to tell on air, so I thought I'd go for the whole sort of sports hooligan sort of singing song angle, you know? Oh, that's a popular angle? I'm drunk and I'm having a good time, but I didn't get much of my song on air. Greg, good evening.

How are you? Oh, Bruce, I'm doing all right. I love your show, Bruce. Excellent. I love your show. Good on you. Thank you, Greg. I love it. I love the fact that the pubs are open, Bruce. It makes I love your show, Bruce. Excellent. I love your show. Good on you. Thank you, Greg. I love it.

I love the fact that the pubs are open. Bruce makes me want to sing. Bruce. Bruce. All right. Very good, Greg. I don't know. I don't know.

Did Greg think he'd get away with that? We couldn't continue that too long. I'd be carted off to the loony bin. Greg's already there. Oh! Sounds so fair. Yeah, all right. But the thing was, because I didn't know I was on hold,

because you don't know. So I'm going, who's on hold? Bruce Russell, Brucey, Brucey, Brucey. I'm doing a whole performance to no one. So that was 13 seconds with Bruce Russell, who sounds like he has had it up to here, and I'm putting my hand over my head. He's had it up to here with callers like you.

Oh, yeah. Okay, so Bruce Russell, you win this round. Why don't you, Bruce? It's a great way to fill in time on the weekend. Sorry, kids, Dad's pretending to be drunk on a better radio station. Boost All Zed be back next Monday. It's Jono's turn. New Zealand's breakfast.

Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, listen, what's your claims to fame? 0800, the hits telephone number, 4487 on the text. My dad, I was tellingo and Ben on the hits. Hey, listen, what's your claims to fame? 0800 the hits, telephone number 4487 on the text. My dad, I was telling you guys this over the weekend on our weekly Zoom meeting, very prepared breakfast radio show we have.

We only do it once a week. Every other day we don't worry about, but going into Monday we have a... Honestly, I've never been this organised. I feel very organised in my life. You colour-coded our sheets over the weekend. You spent a long time colour-coding. Now when we change things, we're going to go,

oh, yeah, OK, what colour is that? That's how organised I am. I spent five hours colour-coding sheets. Let him do his thing. What a bleak reflection of my weekend. Anyway, my dad, John Pryor, has lived in 24 different houses through 14 countries. I don't know what he's been running from.

That's really interesting because he was in the Air Force. He was like a navigator on the planes for the Air Force. And I was born in Seattle. So that was one of the places, obviously, he lived. Yeah, I lived in Seattle there in Federal Way. I remember that Mum and Dad always banging on about Federal Way. That's the street. Because it was at the Airbase, wasn't it?

Not in Seattle. Okay. But I grew up in Whenuapai here in the airbase. Oh, that was at the airbase, right. Yeah, as a toddler. And as a toddler, I acquired the skills to take out a soldier with two centimetres of Blu-Tack. I could kill a man.

No, you don't. I could kill you right now. No, you don't. See these disinfectant wipes? 99%? Yeah. Yeah? Germs?

I could kill you with one of these. But not all the germs. not 100% of the germs. The germs might get you. I might not. There were 0.1% of the germs. But yeah, he's just travelled around the world. Like, lived in Fiji, where he said it was very moist. Moist in Fiji, the climate.

Yeah, the skin actually reacts to it over time. Oh, wow. Yeah, lived in many countries. But 24 different houses. That's a great claim to fame. How many houses have you lived in? Hey, buddy. Would have been a few, not 24. I mean, because my parents separated,

so we spent that whole time living between places. So, you know, but definitely not John Price status. That wouldn't be my claim to fame. Is it good when they separate? Like in terms of? No. It's not good. It's not a highlight.

No. Christmas, maybe Christmas presents is your one time as a kid and you can be like oh mum doesn't do this and do you know you can play them off against each other yeah it's great

you're a great dude you want me to cry is that what you want me to do is that what you're trying to do Oprah it's good for a web video yeah put some tears mate so that wouldn't be my claim

oh I said before I crashed my car twice in my own driveway rode off two cars that would be a claim to fame right that's a great claim to fame other than that, the other thing I thought of was

when we interviewed Kevin Hart once, you and me, the comedian, famous Hollywood actor, and then I came back and interviewed him again and he was like, you do lame jokes. That's your thing. I was like, well, I guess that's your claim to fame.

That's your claim to fame. Kevin Hart knows you do lame jokes. He remembered me. If he's going to remember me, it was for doing lame jokes. You're the lame joke guy. Yeah. I was like, oh, okay.

I guess. Come see the lame joke guy live. Make sure you do it. Do another one of those lame jokes. That's it. That's it. Do it again. Producer Juliet, got a claim to fame?

Yes. Mine is actually Justin Timberlake. So I went to his concert when I was about 16 and I was front row in the mosh pit. And I caught him at a, you know when you're at a concert and sort of there's sometimes moments where there's two seconds of silence and I was at the front row

and it was after everyone stopped cheering and he was wiping himself with a towel and I literally screamed at him, can I have your towel? And he looks at me

and he's like, what? And I'm like, can I have your towel? And he's like, how old are you? And I'm like, I'm 16. And he's like, 16, you cannot have my towel and he's like how old are you and I'm like I'm 16

and he's like 16 you cannot have my towel at what age are you allowed to have a towel I think it was a sweaty towel and he was like

you're not allowed to have it you broke his concentration he was like what this is a sweaty towel and my friends

got it on camera and it was the greatest moment of my life it would have been greater if he got the towel though right we need to get that on our social pages I'll find it how old are you

so what is your claim to fame we'd love to hear from you this morning 0800 the hits is the phone number 4487 our text now producer Juliet you've done a great job but Social L is in here as well Social L from Australia originally. What's your claim to fame?

I made the top 46 death stories from Logan City. From Logan. Just out of Brisbane. One of the top 46 death stories. What, at number 40? They didn't rank it, thank God. Because there were football players in there. Do you know the band Savage Garden?

Yes. They're from Logan as well. So they're in the list The top 40 successful people from Logan Yeah They are Was it a magazine they published Or was it an article

It was in the state newspaper Oh wow And I got tagged in it five times And I'm like oh no There goes my dignity It doesn't have a good reputation That's all I'm saying What Logan doesn't

No What was Logan just It's on the motorway Isn't it on your way to the Gold Coast Yeah and if you are driving from the Gold Coast to Brisbane, you drive straight through, I wouldn't stop. Just keep going past it, 100km an hour. 120 you can do over there, can't you?

Yeah, you can. And it has an IKEA butt, so that's... Oh, IKEA's great. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's about the only good thing. And it has you, Elle. It has you. One of the top 40 most successful people from Logan in Australia.

Now on the phone right now, Rachel. Welcome. Hi. You phone right now, Rachel. Welcome. Hi. Your claim to fame, Rach? I got pulled on stage at a Green Day concert. Oh, wow. By Billy Joe. And?

And he sacrificed me to save everybody's souls. So, you know, you're welcome. Firstly, thank you. What a selfless act. Did you know that was happening? Or was it like they were going to get sacrificed? I kind of knew because I went two nights in a row. And the first night he wanted me to get up and sing.

But I was like, no, absolutely not. That's not happening. But then the girl who did get up, she couldn't really sing either. But she had a great time. And I was kicking myself for not doing it. and then the next night when he when he needed a volunteer all my friends like you have to pick rachel and um he got me up and the song required a human sacrifice so you were the sacrifice i went to green day and there was a lady that caught up uh who played the guitar they like anyone know the guitar version to this song and she got caught up she was amazing and then they

gave her the guitar afterwards yeah they get to keep the guitar version to this song? And she got caught up. She was amazing. And then they gave her the guitar afterwards. Yeah, they got to keep the guitar. And the next time we went, he got my brother up. And my brother just did a stage dive for like no reason. It was great. And then she got your uncle up. He got your uncle up. The whole family's been up there.

The whole family's been there. It was like, we're related now. Part of a satanic ritual with Billy Joe Armstrong. That's incredible. I would choke if they're like, come up and sing a song. And you're like, you'd get up there and then I'd forget the words. Yeah, that's what I thought. Great confidence from this girl. I still definitely

choked because he asked me my name and I said, um... And then he moved on. Thank you, Rachel. Appreciate your call. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. John Lovegrove. Now, John, listening on iHeartRadio, coming to us from Portland, Oregon, USA.

Welcome, Johnny. Good morning, boys. How are you? We're doing okay. Now, your claim to fame, we've spoken to you about this before, but it's a great claim to fame. Yeah, a few years back.

I set a few records. A few years back, I went to 77 breweries in one day. Wow. That's a lot of damage to your liver. A beer at every brewery? A small beer at every brewery. I had a team of drivers to get me around. Oh, my God.

77 beers. I didn't realize you're drunk at every one. Geez. I thought you just visited. You're not. That's how they make beer. How are you still alive? I didn't have a full beer

at every one I had a couple sips at every one not quite a full beer at least something wow there we go the champion binge drinker

on the phone here live from Portland I can smell the beer fumes through the phone you're on the other side of the world I actually went to a brewery I went to a brewery

in Federal Way a little while back before the lockdown too oh that's where I was born. Yeah, in Seattle. Seattle, bleak place. Very bleak place. 47 North Brewing.

Yeah, there we go. Hi, John. Thank you so much for listening. How's the lockdown in the States going, mate? Are you allowed out of the house? As of yesterday, the bars in my little part of the city are back open. I haven't been yet, but maybe today, tomorrow. Right, that's probably keeping you away from that part. That's the, tomorrow. Right, that probably keeping you away from that part.

That's the guy. Yeah, my wife is keeping me away from that part. Listen, I don't think there's any worry about you catching COVID with all that alcohol

running through your system. No, no, you inject it, right? You inject it. Yeah, the Dettol. Yeah, that's right. Stay safe, John. Lovely to have you listening on iHeartRadio.

Cheers, guys. Good on you. We'll take one more. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Sharon from Auckland. Good morning, lads. How are you doing? Oh, listen, we're doing well, Shed. Claim to fame.

What is it, mate? Oh, okay. So I was working Rugby World Cup at North Harbour Stadium, and I was told we had a special guest, but there was no sort of news of who it was. And I was standing there welcoming our guest, and there was this guy walking up there with a woman and a baby. And I'm like, I'm sure that's Orlando Bloom.

And it was like, don't be silly. Typical Kiwi. Don't worry about it. No one's special. And he walked past, gave me this big smile, walked on in, phoned my match manager, and he said, yep, that's Orlando Bloom. Shut up. Don't tell anyone.

And at the end of the game, before they sort of locked down all the traffic, I was told, get his car ready, he's going to be leaving. And yeah, I walked down to his car with him, had a long chat. He was telling me what he was busy filming and he had to get out before then. And what a nice dude. Really down to earth, easy going.

And the woman was Miranda Kerr with their baby at the time. Oh my God. So it was kind of cool. Oh, you personally chaperoned Orlando Bloom and Miranda. Now I've seen the photo of him on that paddle board. I hope he purchased a ticket for that thing as well. That's a full price ticket. That's a conversation for another day.

Oh, that's such a great comment. I even got a kiss on the cheek from him to say thank you. So that's, yeah. Oh wow, what a claim to fame. Did you have to load that thing in the boot? Pop the trunk, mate. Here we go. Thank you so much for sharing. That is your claim

to fame. A lot of businesses all back in running again. Went to the mall on the weekend, as I mentioned before. And, you know, it's good to see people out and about, but at the same time a little odd when you haven't seen people for, like, eight weeks. I imagine you got some sort of vegetable-filled boost juice or something from the mall, did you? You know me so well.

Some kale juice. Oh, I've got kale, but it was, yeah. Did you get a boost juice? It was a tag juice. A tag juice? Yeah, I thought you would have. I do like it. You know I'm partial to a tag. Yeah.

Now, this is where we give away basically the lifeblood of the radio station, the advertising. We're trying to do our part for the world at the moment. Ironically, we're doing it for everyone else and losing money for the company we work for by doing this. Yeah, the people don't know they've won an ad until we call them up. We just call a number at random. And today, where are we going? We're heading to

a hair salon in Pukekohe, just south of Auckland. Good morning, Rourke Hairdressing. You're speaking to Maddie. How can I help? Maddie, Rourke Hairdressing? Yes, hi. This is the time of your life. You've just won an ad. Jono and Ben on the hits. Oh. And we're giving

away free advertising. All you have to do, Maddie, is fill in the blanks. Oh Jono and Ben on the hits. Oh. And we're giving away free advertising. All you have to do, Maddy, is fill in the blanks. Oh, okay. Hang on one second. Okay. Jono and Ben from the hits are on the phone. We've won an ad. Hello, Carla speaking.

Carla, welcome. We're just doing our part to kickstart the economy. Oh, are you now? Yeah, yeah. Now, listen, are we doing God's work? Who's to say? You are doing God's work. Yeah, to say? You are doing God's work Yeah, thank you

You said it, thank you Yeah Alright, you need to fill in the blanks So you've won an ad Oh, wow What? You go Oh, you want me to talk now?

No, guys, guys, guys Ben, Carla Ben, Carla No, no, listen I can't hear you No, okay This is a shaky start It is

It's not your fault, Carla. It's lapse in communication. Take two. Here we go. Have you heard about one of the Kiwi businesses? It's the... Rourke hairdressing. Woo!

Here we go. R-A-W-K. What does it stand for? It's the sound of an albatross. Go on, do it. Rourke! Rourke! Is it something you name a hair salon after? Who's to say? It isn't, but it makes a fantastic brand, doesn't it. Rourke. Rourke. Is it something you name a hair salon after?

Who's to say? It isn't, but it makes a fantastic brand, doesn't it? Rourke. Rourke. Rourke. I've never heard an albatross, so I'll take your word for it. Famous for its popular... Great hairdressing.

Fabulous. They're Moe Rourkes. Is that what you do there? Moe Rourkes. No, they're not Moe Rourkes. Oh, OK. And don't forget the crowd favourite. Gorgeous high-end hairdressing out in Franklin.

Oh, do those things go together? Yes, they do. Yes, they do. You didn't even let me answer the question. Sorry, Sean. I'm sorry. I really interrupted. And who could forget their catchy slogan?

It's all about you. Oh, that is a good slogan. And their wonderful staff who sometimes like to reveal a secret about themselves live on the radio. No, we don't give our secrets away. Did you make up the rock?

It's the sound of an albatross. Is it really? That's an albatross there. No, that's not an albatross. I just googled albatross. Is it really? That's an albatross there. No, that's not an albatross. I just googled albatross sounds. Are you a fan of the albatross? There it is. See?

That's an albatross. Is that really what you named it after? It actually really is. I just saw the word once and I thought it was really cool. Looked it up and it said sound of the Albatross and I thought, that's a bit of me. How high were you at the time? Oh, not at all.

Tells you how much of an upbeat person I am, right? And you do sound wonderful. Thank you so much for winning an ad. Rourke hairdressing, high-end hairdressing. And Pukakohe. And Pukakohe, high-end hairdressing. It's all about you. It's all about you. And Pukakohe. And Pukakohe. High end hairdressing. It's all about you. It's all about you. And the albatross.

Yeah, thanks team. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Scrolling through your feed. This is where we have a look through your feed. We take your phone, unlock your passcode, scroll through it and by the way we break into your house as well.

It's all very creepy, but very necessary. These are the things you need to know. Waking up this morning and overnight in Auckland, a man has been arrested trying to escape from an Auckland hotel. Now, he was in mandatory quarantine, you know, came in from an overseas flight, and there was a fire alarm that went off in the middle of the night. And he thought that was his opportunity to make a run for it.

Did he set the fire alarm off? I don't know. They haven't said. They haven't pinned that one on him but maybe that was part of his play. So it's two weeks you've got to spend in a hotel room. Yeah and the same because there's not enough security guards at some of these hotels which you can imagine it's very busy. Some people

can't get out and do exercise so you pretty much are stuck inside your room for two weeks which would be really hard. It'd be a dream come true. Room service, watching all the cool movies, the ones you like to watch in hotels, you know. I don't know what you're talking about. They charge you for the next morning.

Oh, you mean like the Avengers? That sort of stuff? Yeah, Fast and Furious, you know, the high quality, the new releases. Yeah, those are the ones. Yeah, that's all right. Those are the ones. Yeah, so apparently he made a run for it

and the cops got him and he's been arrested. So there you go. How would they know? Because I imagine there's probably, let's say, 50 people in a hotel room. All standing outside at that time of night. Yeah, they're not going to know who's there for quarantine purpose. And then they're all together in a cluster with the other. I'm going for it.

I'm running. I'm going. He's left his bag inside. Maybe he's the one with the bags. There's a story I think someone I know was in quarantine

they came back from overseas and they said there was a bit of an issue with a guy wanting to bring back two ladies of the evening oh really

two of the that's all not social distancing two of them though two of them that's that's two yeah

one more than anyone can handle. I don't know if you get to pay as well, because I don't think they'll let through. They probably would still have to. Yeah. These are details. Ben, you seem to know a lot about the payment system. You definitely got to pay in that situation.

You've taken them out of their office. That's when you start charging. Also, we woke up this morning. There are big news all over New Zealand about building consents. It is big news. It was leading the news last night. Well, it's crazy. All of a sudden, overnight, the government's gone, you don't need a building consent to build a carport, like a sleepout, a shed.

Previously, you had to go to the council to get approval to do this stuff. It's going to save $18 million in admin fees. So any mad dog can just go out and whack up a bloody, I can build you a grow room that you wanted for your kale. Remember your kale you wanted to grow? My family, you know when my family made me sleep in a sleep out when I was a teenager?

Did they? On the farm. I didn't want to. But that's a teenager's dream, isn't it? In the end it became, at the start they built a house, they built a new house, and then they were like, oh, but you get the sleep out. Oh, okay. So I was like 25 metres.

Was everyone else in the house? Yeah. You were the only one out the back. Yeah. And it was no path, it was just a paddock to get in the morning, in a cold, you know, like wadded up a morning.

Jeez. I was like, thanks guys. Was there like a bathroom nearby? No. Not at first, not for two years. So in the middle of the night, if you know, like, what up a morning. Jeez. Thanks, guys. Was there like a bathroom nearby? No. Not at first. Not for two years. So in the middle of the night, if you had to go, you had to walk across the paddock? Oh, yeah.

Or just in the paddock. You're just kind of just there. I did actually that one night. You're like a dog. I know. It shows how much my family love me. But anyway, there you go. A bleak insight into my life.

And that's what you wake up to. And we'll get to the therapy session after 8 o'clock. That's what you're waking up to this morning. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Just noticed you're a wonderful hot pink nail polish man.

Yeah, yeah. I don't want to know the backstory. It just looks fantastic, matches your outfit. I'll tell you, a great, it wasn't a prank from my daughter but a great,

it seemed like a great prank because she was like, oh, can I put nail polish on you? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, fine, go for it. And then after she put it on, she goes, oh, by the way, we don't have nail polish remover. Oh, that's great. How long did you have to rock around with those? Most of the weekend I'll be picking away at it, but it's still, this is two days of picking

away at it. So there you go. So I'm still. So she did a fantastic job. Yeah, well, it's really on there. I never have, whenever I do it, like I do it, I don't have a steady hand. I'm kind of like Parkinson's disease, you know? I end up painting up half my fingers. But no, she's done a really good job. Yeah, so it's really there.

There you go. There you go. There's the backstory to that. This is The Rude Awakening where we phone someone from your life. I was just reading 12% of people dream in black and white. How crazy is that? Oh, really? Do you dream in black and white. How crazy is that? Oh, really? Do you dream in black and white or are you a colour guy?

I think I'm a colour guy. Yeah, I think I'm a colour guy. How about you, Juju? I think I'm a colour gal, yeah. Imagine dreaming in black and white. And then I was reading that blind people, obviously they don't have anything visual to call on in their dreams. Right.

So they're more off senses like smell and experiences. That would make sense. Because they're not seeing anything in like smell and experiences. That would make sense. Because they're not seeing anything in their dream. Crazy, isn't it? A little bit of sleep banter there. Oh, it does work quite well because we're waking someone up now. What's that? Oh, no.

Shut up. Now what? Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening. We are up early in the morning and we like to get other people up as well. It's all thanks to Hell Pizza serving the best damn pizza in this lifetime and next because the person you wake up could win some Hell Pizza. And Pamela, you're in Tokoroa this morning. How are you?

Freezing my butt off. Oh, and you have one of the best butts in Tokoroa. That's what they tell me. They're always talking about Pamela's butt. If that thing freezes off, the jewel of Tokoroa is gone. You know what I like about Tokoroa is you drive through, it takes you about five minutes, but you have a

boulevard of takeaways. Oh, you do, yeah. All the big guns are on the main boulevard. What's your favourite, Pam? Kiwi takeaways, they're the best. Fish and chips, but they sell the best ones in Tugra Oh, right See, everyone thinks they know the best fish and chip shop I claim the one I go to is the best fish and chip shop, you see

You'll have to pick me up and take me for a dinner date Well, there we go Take that sweet, sweet butt for a dinner date Yeah Alright, Pamela I might just leave you guys to it Yeah, enough flirting. The tension.

The sexual tension. You can cut it with a knife this morning. I feel a little bit awkward now, Lizzie. Even more awkward. We're going to call your husband John now.

Oh, awesome. Alright, let's see if we can wake John up and ask him four questions. It's definitely going to be a rude awakening for John. Just go as long as you can. Go, go on.

He better answer. Come on, Johnny. John. Oh, we've had a... You know what, Pamela? I'm going to call it. You sound like a wonderful lady. Oh, fuck, yeah.

What are you calling? What's going on now? I'm going to call it. I'm going to say, Pam, we're going to give you the $40 worth of Hell Pizza. Oh, you're awesome, otherwise I was going to beat him up

when I get home. Well, that's right. We've saved Pam beating up John. Yeah, you enjoy that Hell Pizza, right? Awesome. You fellas have a good day, eh? Hey, thank you for listening, Pamela.

Oh, yous are amazing. See you later, mate. And that's all. Thanks, Hell Pizza. Free range ingredients, Pamela. Oh, yous are amazing. See you later, mate. And that's all thanks to Hell Pizza. Free range ingredients, plant-based, vegetarian and gluten-free options are available right now. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I'm William

Teresi and this is the Beeping News. Now we've got our newsreader William, who, very distinguished voice, isn't he? Oh, what a great voice. But he's so young and handsome. He looks about 18. But his voice, play that intro again, Producer Juliet. I'm William Teresi and this is The Beeping News.

Oh, my God. So good. That's a voice. When you hear that, you're like, he should work on radio. When you hear mine, no. We're like, hey, welcome along. I'm sorry, New Zealand, you have to put up with us anyway. He's a 20-year-old with a 65-year-old man inside of him. No. We're like, hey, welcome home. What am I doing here? I'm sorry, New Zealand. You have to put up with us anyway.

He's a 20-year-old with a 65-year-old man inside of him. We'll have to get him in and talk to him at some stage this morning. He's filling in for Ash Thomas today. But, of course, this is the Beeping News, the segment that you bring to the table, Juliet. Yes, so I peruse the internet and find some stories, beep out one particular word. You guys have to guess what that word that I've beeped out is. Okay.

All right? And then we can have a chat about the story a little bit afterwards. Would you like to hear the first one? Okay, go. Donald Trump defies official coronavirus advice by sh** at golf course. By something at the golf course. Faked tanning at the golf course.

Damn it, I was just thinking of that as well. Injecting Ditto at the golf course. Is that what he's doing? The real one? Donald Trump defies official coronavirus advice by shaking at the golf course. Is that what he's doing? The real one? Donald Trump defies official coronavirus advice by shaking hands at golf course. He's just a law-abiding... He went to the mask factory.

Remember he visited the mask factory and refused to wear a mask. Not once. He was getting shown how they put it on next to a bin full of masks. Like literally hundreds of thousands of masks. He didn't want to put a mask on. In some states in America,

it's legal. It's illegal not to wear a mask. He's not... He's just... He's just got his own set of masks. He didn't want to put a mask on. In some states in America, it's legal. It's illegal not to wear a mask. He's not. He's just off to anyway. He has just got his own set of rules, doesn't he, that man? But I mean, he can't leave the White House. Ralph, we've got nothing to talk about.

There's no content for any radio show if he goes. He needs to stay in purely to give us something to chat about. All right, your next story in the News and Beeps, Producer Juliet. Nine-year-old boy cries

after mum surprises him with first **** since lockdown. His mum surprised him with first striptease. Well, I'm hoping it's a nice story. I hope it's not like first meal since lockdown or first spanking since lockdown.

Is it a striptease spanking? First driving lesson? No. A TikTok video? No. TikTok video? No. Here we go. Nine-year-old boy cries after mum surprises him with first McDonald's since lockdown.

Oh, that's cute. Yeah, he literally just started crying at the table. He'd been desperate for some nugs. I went there yesterday and I was in the drive-thru and what they do with the FPOS terminal now is they've gaffer taped the FPOS terminal to a stick and so the girl sticks it out the window

and the stick comes into your car and you're like the machine right in front of you. Okay, a lot of social distancing I guess. And then you go

to the next window and they've got this makeshift piece of plywood they've attached to the drive-thru window. You've got to leave your window up,

they come out, they put your order on the piece of wood, they shut their window then you bring your window down and you collect your order. Oh, wow. What a system. Quite the process.

Ronald's running a very stringent process. Let's go one more in today's This Is The Beeping News. Husband attempts to make a b***h for first time in 45 years and it does not go well. Husband attempts to make b***h for the first time in 45 years. What have you got? Lasagna. Husband attempts to make conversation with his wife for the first time in 45 years. What have you got? Lasagna. Husband attempts to make conversation with his wife for the first time in 45 years.

Not quite. Husband attempts to make a bed for first time in 45 years. Really? And it does not go well. 45 years he hasn't made a bed. Now, what he's done, well, now on lockdown, the wife's like, mate, you need to pull your weight in this household now.

You're not going to work. So he spent his time making the bed. They've got quite a lot of pillows like your bed bins. And he's just absolutely becoming really creative with it. He's got about seven display pillows there and he's putting them on top

of each other. He's stacking them up like a game of Tetris. Do you know that's crazy? He hasn't made the bed in 45 years. Our generation's fathers never changed nappies. Do you hear, that's crazy. Hasn't made the bed in 45 years. Our generation's fathers never changed nappies. Do you hear that story? My auntie turned up for the birth. That was the other thing as well.

Nobody down at the pub and then their wife would be like, I'm in labour. I'm with the boys. Having some beers with the boys. Lads, lads, lads. And then they'd get all salty that they had to go to the hospital and watch us being born. I know.

I think my dad pulled me out and then went back to the pub. Well, there you go. Those are the news and beeps for you this morning. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Went out in the weekend and... This is assuming that anyone's actually listening. What's that?

It's good to have you coming. You might be saying that to nobody. Yeah, probably. You can say it to me. It's good to have you coming, Jono. And yours too, Ben. And producer Julia. It's great to have you coming as well. You guys nobody. Yeah, probably. You can say it to me. It's great to have your company, Jono. And yours too, Ben. And producer Julia, it's great to have your company as well. You guys too.

There you go. But actually, I went out on the weekend, and isn't it weird to go out, something like two months ago, you would have gone out and you wouldn't have thought twice about it, but to go out around people for the first time, it's just a weird feeling.

It is an odd feeling, yeah. Even when people came back into the office here last Monday, everyone was sort of a bit tentative, and the bloody millennials at ZM, though, hugging each other, licking each other's faces. I can see why we're a nation of narcs. I know. Because you see things going on and you're like, oh, I feel like I need to tell them off.

I feel like a grumpy old man. Sit there, the millennials will be the death of us. They'll bring it all back. Yeah, well, New Zealand are actually, as a country, we're doing really well. I think 97% of our cases have recovered. There's only like 30-something or something people in New Zealand that have coronavirus right now. So as a country, we're doing well.

But you still feel weird being out and about because you haven't done it for eight weeks. When you went out, where did you go? Because I know you used to like to go to the Mermaids, was the popular location. Did you go there for dinner again? No, I didn't go there again. Although my daughter's favourite thing when she was younger was mermaids

and I remember driving past there one day and she's like, mermaids, can we go there? And I was like, well, this is a hard one to explain to mum if we do.

But yes, we can. It's the adult Kelly Tarleton. So we didn't go there. It was really hard one to, anyway, so we didn't explain that one that way. I said,

this is a story for another day. But I went out on the weekend to the mall and, you know, it's just weird to be around people again.

You get slowly used to it, but then some people are close to you, some of the people avoid you. I look at people wearing masks, and I think, oh, you're weird, you know? But then we shouldn't, because they're just protecting. You know, people wearing the PPE stuff, you think, they look paranoid, and everyone's like, oh, look at you in a mask. But actually. I think whatever you need to have

to feel safe exactly that's the only way we should be living right now because there was people that were close to us

and the more there were people that would sort of avoid you I'm used to that we're Jono and Ben we know how that works and then we went out

for dinner as well and I was almost at that stage that night where we went to our local place up the road I was like

can I do this you know you didn't want to walk in there mainly because you didn't want to walk in there? Mainly because you didn't want to pay because you're a tight ass. Open next day to pay for anything for six weeks. This is going to feel very unusual.

Actually, true story. I was so good at social distancing that I just walked out at the end. You didn't pay? I didn't pay until I got home and then I was like, uh-oh. And I had to drive back and pay for it. How did you forget to pay? Social distance, social distance, keep away from people, keep away from people and then I was like, uh-oh. And I had to drive back and pay for it. How did you forget to pay? Social distance, social distance, keep away from people, keep away from people, and out I walked.

Keep away from the Air Force machine. Yeah, so I social distanced myself from the Air Force machine. Did they know, when you came back, did they know that you had scarred? Yeah, I did. Oh, it's our kind of usual local place. They're like, ah, he'll be good for it. So maybe that's my new thing. And if he's not, we'll send it to the Herald,

the footage of him running out and not paying for the meal. And so were other tables empty next to you? I want to know. They were spread out. They were a lot more spread out than they would normally be. You know, it was probably like half the capacity of normal because everyone's got a bigger gap around themselves. I think two places in Auckland over the weekend

got done for breaching the conditions, didn't they? Yeah, producer Julie, you went back to your flat, didn't you? Yes, I did. Did you guys light it up, get lit? We did on Friday night. Thanks, Dad. Got lit, went to Macca's on the way home. Couldn't tell you if they did that with the whole procedures

because my memory was gone from that. Yeah, the procedures go out the window. This is the problem. This is why bars should reopen again because procedure goes out the window. Yeah. But it was good is why bars shouldn't be open again because procedure goes out the window. Yeah. But it was good fun. It was good fun. I'll do it again this weekend.

Back at it again. Back into your little cluster. I think the more you do it, though, the more it'll feel normal. That's right. The first time out, it's just, and in my head, I'm like, oh, I can't let this beat me.

You know, like eventually. You want to be sensible, but at the same time, you just don't want to go, I don't want to be that person sitting at home, not telling kids to get off the lawn. Before you know it, mate, I'll be back out there giving the old slap on the butt for the team morale. Okay.

Before you know it. HR have talked to you about this before coronavirus. I said it boosts morale. It does not. Okay, anyway. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy.

No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. Yes, producer Juliet copies and pastes stories from the internet and reads them out on the radio. This is spy entertainment news. And one copied and pasted story is that David Beckham, his lockdown addiction, has been buying big tubs of Big Mac special sauce on eBay.

Oh, good. Finally, he's checking out. Finally, he's given up the will to live, David Beckham. He's been too good for too long. You can make it at home. I think the recipe's online. We went to a friend's place just after lockdown. It was the first time. And he'd made it as well. He'd got the recipe online and made it and made Big Macs. Does it taste like? It does. It tastes a lot like it. Yeah. You know how sometimes people try and make KFC and never quite gnarly.

Well, he actually gnarled it. I'll tell you what I'm in love with, what condiment I'm in love with. The Kewpie mayonnaise. Oh, my God. Yesterday, I poured it into the bath. I bathed it. And now it's seeped into my pores and I smell like a sandwich now. But it is just sensational.

The mayo with the red lid on it. It's got no labels on it, which is concerning, but I don't care. It doesn't need a label. You don't need to know what you're eating. You just need to know it tastes delicious. There's none of that, you know, the dietary table on the back. That's not there. No. It's got no labels on it, which is concerning, but I don't care. It doesn't need a label. You don't need to know what you're eating. You just think it tastes delicious. There's none of that, you know, the dietary table on the back. That's not there.

No. It's just blank. It could be anything. It's a good mayo, though, eh? Put Kewpie mayo on anything and I will just absolutely hoon that thing. On that couch out there, then. After 8 o'clock, Juliet's going to eat the couch. Also, what I find is whenever I add pickles to anything,

it just makes it automatically taste like maccas. Have you guys, I don't know if I've just only just noticed that but if I add pickles to a healthy burger I feel like I'm eating

McDonald's right now. I'm not a gherkin. Are you a gherkin? I love them. No, my wife loves them. Oh, I love them. That was her craving. I've mentioned this before.

Drinking the gherkin juice. She would just drink it from the jar. Wow. Okay. Are you a little parched. I'm good, I'm good, thanks. You know, the stuff you know,

you just throw it out at the end. The brine. Yeah, she'd drink away at that one. And Chris Hemsworth, they're calling it a strange Australian habit, and it's him wearing bare feet everywhere. It's going viral a bit. They have a no-shoe policy for pretty much life,

obviously apart from formal occasions, but they just rock around their Byron Bay little town, no shoes anywhere, and it's been picked up. And people are like, what? You've got so much money. Sure, you can wear some shoes. Half of Gisborne is going, thank goodness, mate. The Gisborne Nikes, bare feet.

Are you a bare feet person? I used to be. Like, yeah, back in the day when you were like a teenager and stuff like that. Sometimes I'd just turn up to work in bare feet.

But then you're like, nah, nowadays you're like, oh, there's a lot, there's a lot of homeless that needles outside the building and things like that,

you know? Yeah, true. Imagine the bottom of Hemsworth's feet must look like the back of that computer. Yeah,

true. That's so true. But he probably gets massages all the time. Yeah, no, good on him. Good on him. He's rich enough he But he probably gets massages all the time. Yeah, no, good on him. He's rich enough

he can buy new feet every day. That's true. He looks like one of those guys who's never had to try hard for anything in his

life. No, no. G'day, mate. Oh, we'll give him a role in the movie. Yeah, mate, whatever, mate.

I was just going longboarding, mate. I wasn't wearing shoes. I just got one of those really long skateboards

and just cruised with my hands behind my back Shaka brother Yeah Just gonna get a burger Shield my girlfriend's surf bruh Oh do you wanna be Thor?

Okay bruh Sweet ass Yeah what's going on He's winning at life He is winning He's one of those people who always land on his feet his bare feet

And that is Spy Things to Pack and Save Stickman now has Instagram you can check him out at instickman Oh does he? Yeah he does Why? I don't know but go check him out has Instagram. You can check him out at instickman. Oh, does he? Yeah, he does. Why?

I don't know, but go check him out. Oh, I'd like to check him out. What's that again? Instickman. Instickman. Oh, that's good. Stickman's getting into Instagram. Hey, it's like you, Ben.

You're as skinny as Stickman. Now you've got some competition. Hey, I thought I was the only skinny one on Instagram. There we go. I've got competition. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.