Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 26 - Kim Crossman, Ben Ran Into Some Trouble On Friday Night, Who Have You Sat Next To On A Plane?

Episode Date: May 25, 2020

Boss Todd claims he created 'Wooh Wooh'Have you been to an awards ceremony?SpyBig News Small TownWho have you sat next to on a plane?Ben ran into trouble on Friday nightKim Crossman called inJingle BellsScrolling Through Your FeedRude AwakeningControversial CalloutsThe A To Z Of New ZealandSpySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast on a Tuesday, Jono and Ben. I was accused of pranking in the supermarket yesterday. Oh were you? And it was a very low level prank because I was in the produce section and I'd been sent to pick up some courgettes. You know courgettes? Yeah.

Popular vegetable courgettes. I know courgettes? Yeah. Popular vegetable courgettes. I'm aware of them, yeah. Yeah, and so I didn't realise that the courgettes also went under another moniker of zucchini. I didn't know they were the same thing. Oh, right. Yeah, gotcha. So then it was like, I was looking for courgette and all I could see was all these things labelled zucchini.

And so I asked the lady, was like excuse me my good lady uh courgettes the same thing as zucchinis you know zucchinis and she was like she's like looking around the camera is suspicious it's really what he's come to these days she's like are you pranking me like looking at me like an idiot and she's like yeah they're the same thing and then we'll die so there you go I didn't know that I don't know there you go she's like, yeah, they're the same thing. And then we'll die. So there you go. I didn't know that. I don't know. There you go.

Did you know that? Yeah, I did. But when you brought it up and you talked about it, but I hadn't given it much thought. Why would the same thing be labeled two different things?

Why did it? American versus British. Oh yeah. Americans call it zucchinis. Zucchinis. Oh, this is probably the potato, potato thing.

Yeah, all over again. It's all making a lot of sense now. Well, I've never heard anyone say potato, but anyway. So yeah, anyway, probably the potato, potato thing all over again. It's all making a lot of sense now. Well, I've never heard anyone say potato, but anyway. So, yeah, anyway, enjoy the podcast. It'll be full of great facts like that. Not a morning person.

Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We've got Boss Todd in with us in the studio right now. How's it going, Todd? I'm worried. Why am I here? Well, Todd, we've known you for a number of weeks now. I really like Todd.

Todd's a great guy. I was just doing a performance review, mate. Yeah, no, great boss. Great boss, Toddy. But we found out some information about the skeletons from your Australian past. Oh, okay. Because, you know, with New Zealand's Altair, I always welcomed you with open arms. But we feel like you need to come clean on some things you've done in your past.

One in particular is starting a trend, a worldwide trend. Well, this is what you claim. So it involves a nightclub and a certain noise that I guarantee everyone listening has made in a nightclub at some point in their lives. How did this get to you guys? Producer Humphrey told us. Oh, really? This is Ray. I'm under the bus. He doesn't have a microphone to defend himself right now. It is a moot question because I've probably bragged about it to him about a hundred times. So look, you know, you look back when you get to my age and you go, what have I achieved? What have I achieved? 30 years in radio, my commitment to the Goo Goo Dolls and to Pink. But what have I achieved? And what have the Goo Goo Dolls ever given back to

you? Yeah, exactly. They gave us iris masks. This is they did. This is a true story, and people think, oh, it's crazy. But in the mid-'80s, I was out at the clubs, and so we'd go to this club. It was back then, you didn't need up photo IDs, so as long as you had a licence that had the date of birth that said you were over 80, and you were sweet. It was a relaxed system back then. You could have pretty much just write it on a piece of paper

with a viviv and they'd let you in. So we're at this crowded bar and it was called Tramps. And we'd go to Tramps every Friday. Tramps? Tramps. T-R-A-M-P-S. Tramps. Okay.

Good club. Great club. Great club. Some fantastic things happened at Tramps. I've heard some dark stuff happened at Tramps. Some dodgy stuff. Stuff you'd want to forget about happened at Tramps. Dance floor's in the middle.

You're standing around the back. My mate Simon is at the bar and I could see him and I couldn't get his attention so this song was playing some 80s dance floor number. Relax, now do it. Could be.

Now, now, now, now, do it. Right here of music. And so to get his attention, I went, what, what? And so I've yelled that out. Then I've yelled it again. He's yelled it back, kind of get me a drink. Yep, sweet.

Everyone started doing it. It became a thing. A worldwide phenomenon. He's going, what, what? And in tune with the music and all that. And so it went on all night and we're laughing our heads off. And so next Friday we're back at Tramps, you know, get there at a reasonable time, quarter to seven and um the barman's pulled me up not the barman the big

bouncer at the door what's an unreasonable time sorry well if you got there straight after school it's a bit weird taking a uniform off first and put the hair gel in um so anyway the the bouncers just aggressively fingered me on the shoulder. Hey, the what what guy. And I'm going, what? You started it every night, Thursday night, Friday night. All they're doing is what what. And that night it took off and a cultural phenomenon was born.

Whoop, whoop. So Toddy, we're looking at the man there. Who did that? Whoop, whoop. Did it get to New Zealand? It's gone worldwide. Yeah. I'm sorry, we've all done it. Yeah, but, did it get to New Zealand? It's gone worldwide. I'm sorry, we've all done it.

Yeah, but I didn't know it was from tramps. Well, one bloke challenged me on this when he heard this story, and this was back in 97. He said it started at some gay nightclub on the beaches at Mykonos. I've not been to Mykonos. And he said, and then he could only pinpoint the year as 92, and I said, nah, I topped that by seven years. We were doing it in the 80s.

I don't know why you've been up to a mykonos. But you know, I've lived a life with hopefully more to go and I've achieved something. If you're questioning this, your name was mentioned on the Project Australia by a host over there, Fitzy.

Do you remember Todd Campbell who used to work at Nova? Remember, he reckons that he claimed he was the first person at a nightclub to go, I mean, if that doesn't verify it. He's a radio announcer. Would he not at least do his research? He has tech official, put it in the book. He started Woot Woot.

That is... No, Woot Woot. Oh, sorry. No, no, no, no, no. Woot Woot. 0800 to the hits. This is woot woot. No, woot woot. Oh, sorry. No, no, no. Woot woot. 0800, this is what we want to chuck out there. What do you think you invented? Yeah, do you think you invented something,

a saying that everyone uses? Do you think you invented a tool that maybe everyone uses? A dance move, a viral video. You've never got the credit for it. Well, this is the chance for you to shine. 0800 843 4487. On the phone right now, a dear friend of ours, Jeremy, has called in. Now, we actually know this story.

Jeremy, welcome. Hi. Claims he invented something. Now, the floor is yours. We won't judge. We won't interrupt. I invented the common triumphant celebration term, Chahoo, Jono, example.

Chahoo! Yeah. Back in 1996, back in high school, I just came up with it, and then other people at school heard it, they started doing it, and then the rest is history, really. You just said after

that it spread like wildfire through the Pacific Island community. Yeah especially a lot of Polynesian Pacific Island people at my high school and they just adopted it as their own which I love and it's gone and then next thing Savage is doing a song

I get wild in the pool Next thing you know Savage is doing a song that's been around for a lot longer than that. But hey, who are we to judge? The seat of the floor was yours. Yeah, it was just great. And I still, you know, you hear it every now and then.

I'm going past a group of young people and they're doing my heart skips a beat. I feel like as a dad, I've seen it in the movie Moana. I feel like The Rock had a Chahoo as well. So, you know, you've made Hollywood. Yeah.

And I'm just stoked. You know, I don't want anything for it. Who needs the accolades? You know, what price do you put on a warm heart, Jeremy, or your heart skipping a beat?

Well, there you go. Our friend Jeremy claims he invented Chahoo. Maybe hundreds of islands, hundreds of years of Pacific Island culture made a screen. Well, there you go. Our friend Jeremy claims he invented Chahoo, maybe hundreds of years of Pacific Island culture. I disagree. Yeah, I think so. But thank you, Gerry. No worries. Marty's on the phone.

0800 the hits. What do you claim you invented, Marty? What fad? Yeah, I invented a game called Aztec. Oh, the popular game, Aztec, that we all know and love. Well, what's Aztec? It's a multi-level game underground where you've got to fight all sorts of things

like spiders and snakes and all that sort of stuff. Oh, wow, and it's taken off. Yeah, well, I invented it and then all of a sudden it disappeared out of my bloody locker at school. So the next thing I know it's been publicised. Oh, someone stole the floppy disc and then made millions of dollars off it. Yep. Really?

Oh, my God. Yep. We need to get a fair go on to this. You sound pretty chill about it, Marty. You're like, oh, well, sometimes in life you lose millions of dollars Yeah, sometimes you do, don't you? What did you end up doing? What are you doing now? I'm a truck driver now

Hey, that's good, that's better than a bloody Multi-million dollar gaming expert, isn't it? My profession is actually an auto electrician Oh, even better, even better Oh, Marty Who would want millions of dollars when you can fix cars' auto electricity problems? Thank you very much for listening, Marty.

Appreciate it. Thank you, brother. Good on you, mate. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. We're going to do one song to find when we throw out a scenario and we give ourselves one song to find

to anyone listening that might have done this thing. Yeah, very exciting. I like the thrill of it, because you never know if we're going to be flailing around and filling airtime in about three minutes. That's dangerous radio. We just heard the news that the Oscars, the Hollywood film ceremony they have each year,

it's likely to be postponed next year because of coronavirus. And also the fact that there's been hardly any movies released this year. You know who I feel sorry for? I feel sorry for the cocaine cartels. I mean, their projected monthly figures will be well down with no Oscars or Grammys or any awards ceremonies. They've made some streaming movies eligible for the Oscars for the first time because I was looking before, the movies that have been out this year,

you'd probably get an Academy Award to Sonic the Hedgehog because that was one of the few movies that went to cinemas this year. So, you know, that would probably win Best Picture. Best Documentary goes to Joe Exotic. Yeah.

I don't think I've ever watched an Academy Award winning movie. Would you? Have you ever watched one? A couple, but often you don't, you know,

the ones that the critics like. Yeah, and they're all like translated. And obviously Jojo Rabbit, he won an Academy Award for Best Script, you know, Taika Waititi. So that was, you know, you've seen that one. Oh yeah, thank you, Ben.

I take it back. I take it back. They need some for Fast and Furious. Best Burnout. Best Vin Diesel Burnout. I guess that's the MTV Music Awards. So anyway, we're going to throw it out there today. 0800 The Hits is our phone number.

Have you ever gone to a big American awards show, be the Oscars, the Emmys, the MTV Awards, the Grammys? Have you sat in there and experienced it? What was it like? We'd love to hear from you. Or have you been to a low-level New Zealand one, like the Timaru Trampoline Awards, the trampy? Someone who's phoned us up right now is Jared from Stereogram,

now with the band Dead Favors. You've been to the Grammys? Yeah, no, I got to go to the Grammys. Oh, that is incredible. Yeah, no, I got to go to the Grammys. Oh, that is incredible. Yeah, it was pretty cool. And we went to the MTVs over in the States as well, which was awesome, man. Oh, MTV. Wow, far out.

Yeah. So you guys were nominated for a Grammy, right? We were, yeah. Yeah, we were nominated for Video of the Year. So, yeah, it was awesome. Is it a long night? Does it get tedious and boring? I don't think so

Little guys from New Zealand going out to the Grammys And sitting by a bunch of famous people It's pretty exciting, it's pretty cool Who did they have you sat next to? Well at the MTV's We were behind Marilyn Manson And then just down was like Gwen Stefani and no doubt a few other bands. Oh, behind.

Imagine Marilyn Manson would smell nice. Yeah. Would have a lovely musk. He was a nice guy, actually. I mean, we didn't talk for long, but we, you know, it was like Marilyn Manson. We were like, hey, man, just wanted to say hi, love your work. Does everyone talk to you?

Like, do they all kind of stick to themselves? Oh, we talked a say hi, love your work. Does everyone talk to you? Or does everyone kind of stick to themselves? Oh, we talked a bit. We talked a bit. There was a backstage room that sort of all the artists and nominees could go into and grab drinks throughout the ceremony. So you'd kind of run into people there. But we were trying not to be like the young guys

from New Zealand that were just running up to everyone going, hey, nice to meet you. Hey, nice to meet you. Yeah. Kind of like, you know, had to act cool at the same time. Oh, that's completely what I would have done. G'day, John, I'm from New Zealand.

G'day, I love your work. Yeah. Can I get a selfie? You know, you don't want to be that guy. So I would have done that. They talk about the seat fillers as a thing in those awards. So when someone goes on stage or performs, someone else comes and sits in their seat. Does that happen?

Right. I don't think we were close enough to the front to experience that, but I have heard that also. Oh, so the front rows get the seat fillers, I see. Well, yeah, we were, because, you know, we weren't the famous guys, so we were like up the sides. Yeah, but I have heard that. When they hand out the Grammy Award,

is that the actual award? I don't know. I assume so. Because I heard a rumour that they hand out fake awards. Oh, really? And send you out one later? Yeah. Well, yeah.

I never won, so I couldn't tell you. So you don't know going into it if you're going to win or not? They don't give you a little, you got it? No. No? No, I thought that might be the case, but no. No, they don't let you know. So I guess only the people that are performing and whatever, they obviously need to know. But yeah, no, they don't tell you beforehand. And so afterwards, you invited

to all the parties? We did. When we went to the MTVs, we went to lots of parties. The MTVs, we went to P. Diddy's party. Really? We went to this kind of before. It was at this big hotel. It was in Miami. It was at this big hotel with a big outside pool, and they had all these rooms that the celebrities would go in and get watches and clothes and things to wear on the red carpet.

So there's kind of like lots of people would come through there. We met the Beastie Boys and stuff like that. So that was pretty cool. Oh, you always wanted to walk into a room and get a watch and walk out again, don't you? The watch room. I got a watch. It was awesome.

Oh, you got a watch? I got a watch, yeah. What other free stuff did you get? I got heaps of stuff. We got lots of like Xbox stuff and sunglasses. It was awesome. I would be going ham on that. I would just have a duffel bag just scooping watches

and... Do they give you anything? Because you guys were nominated for a Stereogram and nominated for a Grammy, as I mentioned before. Do they give you anything? Do you get a certificate or anything like that or just the joy of knowing you were nominated? Yeah, no, you do. We got a certificate and we got, like,

this sort of Grammy nominee medal that was from Tiffany's. That's such a good story. Now, Walkie Talkie Man was massive, though, right? It was used in movies. It was used all over the world. Yeah, it did really well for us. Yeah, it was great. It was awesome, man.

I remember it was on the Apple iPod commercial. That's right. It was, too. Yes, yes, it was. And the movie Robot, it was on the Apple iPod commercial. That's right, it was too. Yes, yes it was. And the movie Robot, it was like an animated movie with Robin Williams as one of the voices, I think. Yes, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, it was in a few of those kind of like mid-2000s movies.

When you have a song like that with such, you know, a huge international hit, is it enough to retire on? No, unfortunately not. But all the watches you sold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. retire on? No, unfortunately not. But all the watches you sold. Nah, I mean, you make some good money for a while, but you've got to keep it going to be able to be successful long term, I guess.

The trick is you need 10 more walkie-talkie mans. Exactly, exactly. So we made some good money off that song, but then we spent all that money touring and doing more albums and, you know, just having fun. At that age, you don't want to be like, well, I'm going to save for my house deposit. Yeah, that never went through my

mind. Oh, Gerard, that's been really interesting. What an awesome thing to have experience. To go to the Grammys, go to the MTV Music Awards. It's amazing. Yeah, it was cool, man. It was cool. Thank you for having me on. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my it was cool, man. It was cool. Thank you for having me on. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads.

I'm being questioned by Ben Boyce, by producer Juliet, producer Humphrey, producer Heidi for what I've been looking at on the internet and I feel I need to make a public statement because I don't want this coming back to bite me. You come in and you're like, have you guys seen this guy? We're like, no. You know, he sends into all your things in your YouTube pre-roll. No. Oh, a couple of you guys have, and then you had some backstory.

Anyway, you explain. Well, listen, I'm getting bombarded. My YouTube pre-rolls and everything on the internet is currently bombarding me with advertising for a gentleman named Bobby Rio. Now, Bobby Rio, in all honesty, seems like the world's biggest douche stick. He is a dating coach for men who don't have game. And I'm like, I don't have game. I mean, I caught my wife in a moment of weakness. She thinks I'm dying. Our marriage is charity.

But Bobby Rio, so I clicked on Bobby Rio's link from the YouTube pre-roll and this guy, I feel like it's a prank that's about to be revealed and he's like, it's like a movie or something that's about to be released. Cause have a listen to Bobby Rio. Hi, I'm Bobby Rio. And in this video, I want to teach you two techniques you can use to gain the upper hand with a girl. So why is it important to gain the upper hand with a girl? Because every time a guy and a girl start talking one person tries harder and the person who tries harder holds less power now girls are funny because once a girl recognizes that she's the one that has the power it's like game over you lose collect your consolation prize and go home is he for real surely he's so you're saying that you're getting the seat because obviously they tailor things to your collect your consolation prize and go home. Is he for real? Surely he's not legit. Is he for real?

So you're saying that you're getting the scent, because obviously they tailor things to your YouTube pre-roll about things you've looked at the internet. You're like, oh, the other day we were doing our rap song. I was looking up Eminem. I was also looking up Eminem as well. Well, yeah. Clearly the internet has decided people who look up Eminem instrumental and karaoke versions.

I looked up multiple Eminem bands. Do I still get my Disney Plus pre-rolls? But I want to set a mission that we track down Bobby Rio. Why? I don't want to talk to the guy. I want to know if he's real or not. He's got books called How to Date a Cougar and Unlock the Legs, which are on Amazon. I don't know if this man is real.

So you reckon it could be a movie or something? I'm picking it's a hoax. Like a hoax Or a PR stunt Oh it's got people getting wound up about it Yeah because everyone will be like Who's this Bobby Rio idiot And then in six months

They'll be like All new Bobby Rio film out now It sounds like a Will Ferrell film or something So it sounds like terrible dating advice It actually got me thinking about When I was flatting The worst dating advice I ever heard One of my flatmates at the time

was talking about how he liked this girl. And another flatmate who came up with some interesting ideas, probably Bobby Rio ideas at the best of times. Did he email Bobby Rio? He was like, because he was like, I don't know how to get her details. I'd like to get her number.

And he was like, why don't you just crash your car into the side of hers? And then you'll have to, he was like, don't cause any accident. No, it's just a fender bender. But then you have to exchange details and get their number. I was like, oh jeez. That is genius.

But also creepy that you've got to follow her around so you can deliberately crash into her car. No, he's like, wait till she's not in the car. I was like, I'm not a monster. You're like, mate, this is still a stupid idea. The world's most expensive pick-up line. Sorry, I crashed my car into you. If you want your details, it'll probably just give you

your insurance company details too. Maybe it's the jaws of life for cutting the roof open. Hey, by the way, what's your number? I'll give you a call sometime. We can hang out. I don't want to hang out with a guy who just drove his car into me

in the Packersafe car park. I think that's Bobby Rio's top five tips, actually. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Van on the heads. Spy. Know what's up by doco.nz. She peers through the windows of all the celebrities as they

sleep at night. Just to bring you this news, it's producer Juliet with Spy News. Hello. So Taika Waititi and James Reynolds have joined forces and are reading James and the Giant Peach for families who have been affected by the coronavirus. Hi.

Ryan. Hello. Hi, welcome. Hi there. To this reading of James and the Giant Peach. Do you think Roald Dahl took the N out of his first name on purpose just to seem a bit different? Right.

A lot of competition out there. Perhaps all the letters in Roald Dahl are silent and the joke's on us. It sounds like the world's most awkward Zoom call. It actually does, eh? Ronald Dahl. I guess it could have been Ronald Dahl. He's really good mates with Ryan Reynolds, Taika, isn't he?

Yeah, they've done a couple of movies together now. Yeah, there you go. Well, I've got his email address, Taika, and the amount of times Ben gets me to email him to try and get him on the show. I've emailed the guy 20 times. I don't know why you've got his email address. I don't know why I've got it.

I've stumbled across it in a past life. Yeah. And I feel like I've spammed Tiger. I'd probably go straight to his spam. Every time we're doing it, we're doing the Zoomathon. Love you to join us there. We're doing this.

We're getting lunch down at St. Pierre's. Love you to join us. Just keep harassing us. Keep up, Tiger. See if he's coming. I'm turning up to court. Can you be a character witness? Got some beers Friday night. Tiger, you want to come to that? Yeah, anyway. Well up to court. Can you be a character witness? It's a Bears Friday night.

Taiki, you want to come to that? Anyway, well done to them doing it for charity. Yes, so people can donate if they want to to just a particular coronavirus charity, Partners in Health. And the Roald Dahl Story Company is also matching donations up to one million for anyone who donates as well. That's awesome. Which is incredible.

What a great initiative. Now, we've also got behind charity as well. We did our own version of a children's book, put it to song. Oh, we put it to rap, but we didn't do it for charity. Yeah, it's all for charity. It's all, yeah. We look like better people if we say it's for charity. Oh, we're lying.

Clearly, we're lying. We did put a book, a children's book, into a rap song. We got called out. We got challenged. And last week, we lost the challenge with our version of Lindley Dodd's Scarface Claw. No face claw! Skitty cats tremble and people all shout Whenever this Tomcat is out and about No matter what happens, whoever might call There's nothing that frightens him, no nothing at all Is he frightened of thunderstorms?

Certainly not Is he scared of the dark? Certainly not. Is he scared of the dark? Not a jittery jot. The wickedest tomcat that you ever saw. The mighty, magnificent scofface claw. Meow! So, Taika and Ryan Reynolds, not the only ones doing stuff for charity. They're not the only ones, but we aren't the ones doing that.

If you'd like to donate Ben's bank account number, should we give the 00, the ASB 00? No, there's not. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. This is some big news. Small town.

There's a very famous cat in Wellington that we're just hearing about in Wellington City. You've probably seen him if you've been to the capital. It's called Mittens. Now, Mittens is famous for wandering around the city, making himself at home wherever he pleases. He goes into shops, he goes into hairdressing salons, he goes in tattoo parlours, bars.

He goes everywhere. He's famous on Instagram. He's got like 50,000 followers on Facebook as well. And he's made international news this week. The Guardian, the Daily Mail, because he just got awarded the key to the city in Wellington. Does the Wellington Mayor that cats don't have opposable thumbs? They can't use keys.

Can't use the keys. Silly, silly Mayor. You could get the cat to order the city or something like that. Being a Wellington cat, it would be very trendy, wouldn't it? Be wandering around drinking coffee, wearing a fedora, thinking it was better than all the other cats. It has made international news, so we thought we might call someone in Wellington

and just see what the word on the street is about Mittens, the world-famous cat. Alan, you have got the greatest voice I've ever heard. That sounds good. Get out of the mood. We'll get you everywhere. Oh, Alan, as a radio announcer, I can only dream of having pipes like that, baby.

It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. We're just reading about Mittens the Cat. Oh, right. The world-famous cat that's apparently all over Wellington, all over Instagram, has got more followers than us. Yeah, I know. I follow that cat. Do you follow the cat? Do you follow us, mate?

The Hits breakfast. It's a very bleak follow, so... Oh, golly, yeah. Oh, God, that pity follow. Yeah. It's a very bleak follow, so... Oh, Molly, yes. Oh, God, a pity follow. So tell us about Minns the Cat. Do you see it at the post office? No, no, because we're in Kandahar. Yeah, so you've got to get... I think

he's down around Lampton Quay or Willow Street. Okay, well, listen, we will not stop until we talk to someone who's seen this cat, but thank you very much, Alan. It's been a wonder hearing your voice down the phone. See you later. All right, let's not stop. Let's go through to our...

We're not going to stop. No, we're not going to stop. We're going through to Lambton Quay, Ben. This is what a good journalist would do. Hair salon. Rodney Wayne. Love Rodney. Haven't seen Rodney for many years.

Well, no, you haven't, have you? Welcome to Rodney Wayne. You're speaking with Jude. Jude. Rodney for many years. Well, no, you haven't, have you? Welcome to Rodney Wayne. You're speaking with Jude. Jude, Rodney Wayne, Jono and Ben, the hits. How are you, mate? Oh, my goodness. I'm well, and you? Well, it's the big news small town.

We're on a mission. What are you trying to do? Please tell. We want to talk about the celebrity cat. Wellington's got a celebrity cat. It's got the keys to the city. Has he? Yeah, they've given a celebrity cat. It's got the keys to the city. Has he? Yeah, they've given a special award from the mayor.

It's got 45,000 fans on Facebook, 30,000 fans on Instagram. This cat's doing big things. The cat is cool. Hey, could you follow us on Instagram? Because he's got about 29,500 more followers than us. Really? Yeah. Could you give us a follow?

I think so. I think so, just because you are so nicely. Thank you. us a follow? I think so. I think so. Just because you are so nicely. Thank you. The guy at the post shop said he'd do it as well. It's out of pity, but we'll take it.

Oh, so you called the post shop before us. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, no. He was in Candala. He's the love.

No, no, no. Sorry. He was in Candala. Yeah. It was a missed dial. It was a mistake. I'm sorry. It must have been

a pocket dial. Yeah, yeah. Fuck yeah. Oh, we didn't want. I'm sorry. He must have been a pocket child. Yeah. We didn't want to talk to him. You should call him. He's got a great voice. No, you've already called him. He'd be all spent now. So why does Wellington love their cats so much?

We love cats. Well, no. The thing is though, with Mittens, he tends to just cruise around and turn up to places and people find that exciting. So he's a celebrity. He's made the Daily Mail in the UK. Why? I don't know.

I don't know. Don't they have some mangy cats that just hang around in the UK? Mangy cats. You have a lovely day in the capital. Thank you for calling. Have a great day. See you thank you for calling have a great day see you buddy bye

Lou in calories and Lou in laughs it's Jono and Ben on my heads you've got half a mouthful of my muesli bar I'm not going to ignore that I was trying to ignore that

let's just wait for Ben to finish his muesli bar no you go you go it's a hard thing on the breakfast show trying to eat your breakfast

there's a distinct lack of breakfast during the breakfast show it's that and visiting the ablution block, isn't it? I mean, you've got to time it, really. Join that Dua Lipa song. You don't know what we got up to. Dua Lipa wasn't enough time to hit a whole music bar.

So there you go, my small mouth. I learned that. We're learning this as we go along. Now, Sam Neill, we had acclaimed actor Sam Neill on the show yesterday. We lied and told him we were Graham Norton. So that's how we got him. But he told a wonderful story

about how he went to a party held by U2 and was kicked out of the party for dancing, and so they wanted to apologise to him. I'm sitting opposite the edge in Bonner in a 737. Really? And we wing our way to Boston. We get out. There's a cavalcade of cars with cops,

and we roared into Boston. No red lights anywhere. The only people they do this for are the President, the Rolling Stones and you too. How's that? How's that for an apology? They're like, oh, we'll put you on our private plane and fly you to our next show. So we spent three days in Boston with you too.

Now, what we wanted to do was, 0800 the hits. Who have you sat next to on a plane? Now, the only way you're going to beat that is if you've been in cuddle class with Mick Jagger or something. Yeah. So we'll lower the bar. But who have you sat next to on a plane? Yeah, who's been on a plane that you've been like,

oh, my God, this person's on there. The only story I have is sitting next to you, Jono. Oh, he always tells this. But there was a back story. Yeah, so it was a long-haul flight, Producer Juliet. You know, it was one of those overnight ones. So we went to sleep. I was on the aisle.

You were in the middle. And I woke up with your crotch in my face. What? I was facing him. Both of my feet were on the armrests. Straddled over me. What? I woke up.

Yeah, I know. And so this is his story. I needed to go and stretch my legs. And I was like, well, I don't want to wake my dear friend up here. He's in a slumber. He looks adorable. So I decided to clam and stretch my legs. And I was like, well, I don't want to wake my dear friend up here. He's in a slumber. He looks adorable. So I decided to clamber over him. And I didn't want to step on his legs or anything.

So I perched both my feet on both of his armrests. And at the moment, he woke up. I mean, he was just staring straight into me. Straight into me. So that's his story. Wow. That's why I always try and get an upgrade now If I'm flying with you, it never works though

For sure We were flying to Christchurch And I was sitting next to this guy And just started talking to him Because I'm one of those people that you're like You are, you don't like watching the inflated entertainment either Like he won't watch a movie, he'll just talk I'm like alright mate

I've got my headphones, he's one of those people It's like you've got your headphones on, you're like yeah yeah I'm watching a movie And you're a chatter on the phone I've got my headphones he's one of those people it's like you've got your headphones and you're like yeah I'm watching a movie and he's like oh my god and when you sit down to me and I start talking as soon as you sit down you're like oh no

I'm next to one of these he just keeps going he's not just one of those I'm like how's it going and then at the end you're like alright enjoy wherever you're going but he's just like

oh full in there for the whole flight remember I ended up taking some people in a taxi with us when we landed in New Orleans that's right and our boss

at the old radio station was like we don't have money to pay for this cab I think I gave in a taxi with us when we landed in London? I know, this is right. And our boss at the old radio station was like, we don't have money to pay for this cab. I think I gave them a taxi chair or something. But anyway, suddenly there's this guy on our way to Christchurch, and he was a police officer who I'm gathering was quite high up in the police force. He was very humble about it. But he was one of the first people to walk into the mosque after the attacks. And his just, you know, the poor guy,

this was a couple of months after the incident, but he sort of had tears welling up in his eyes. And he's like, you know, the worst time is when he's mowing his lawns and he thinks to himself, could I have done any more? Shoot. And I said to him, well, no, you couldn't have done any more. Like you guys. But I guess that would just play on there

because it's a horrible, horrible thing to happen to our country. And if you were part of that on the day, you know, just... Oh, I'm sure that'll never leave you. Never leave you. He's a lovely man. Lovely man. Anyway, way to bring the vibes down, Jono.

Oh, no. Well, I saw 0800THEHITS is the phone number. Who have you sat next to on a plane? I would love to hear from you today. Let's welcome Tracey to New Zealand's Breakfast. How's the North Shore this morning, Trace? Oh, it's a bit cloudy, but not too bad. Here we go.

The weather's come up a bit. The wonderful weather report there from the North Shore of Auckland. Tracey, who did you sit next to on a plane, mate? So I flew back from Australia with Neil Finn. Wow. It was one time when I had one of my business class upgrades from flying. And, yeah, jumped on seat number one and sat in there. And along he came and sat next to me.

And as the rest of the crowded house went down the far end of the plane, they all had a good laugh at him and took the piss out of him because he was up in business class. So he leaves the band out the back. Could they fly economy? Oh, Crowded House and Crowded down the back. Absolutely. It was actually quite funny because you could just see them going past

and just the stick they were giving each other. It's not my fault I've got the ear points? Yeah, might have had an upgrade. You know those situations. And he's Neil Finn. He can do what he wants. But, no, I had a really good chat with him all the way back. And, yeah, a really interesting guy to talk to, really nice.

And we even shared some few vinos. Oh, lovely. Yeah, really, really interesting guy to talk to and really, really pleasant. It was a flight back that's usually quite boring, made it quite interesting. I didn't actually watch any movies on that flight, which is really unusual.

You did a Jono. You just talked to someone the whole time. And in this case, it was Neil Finn. Was Neil Finn the going, shit, I'm next to a punisher here? No, I love your work. He was going, just shut up, will you? That's such love your work. Thank you for me going, just shut up, will you?

That's such an awesome story. Thank you for sharing it with us this morning. No problem. See you, Trace. Cheers for listening, mate. Let's head to Wellington. Sarah's on the phone from the capital. Welcome to the show, Saz.

Who's your next on a plane, mate? Well, I actually had quite an embarrassing run-in with one of the Jonas Brothers. Oh, really? Yeah, I had just boarded a flight from London I actually had quite an embarrassing run-in with one of the Jonas brothers. Oh, really? Yeah. I had just boarded a flight from London, and I decided that while everyone was still boarding the plane, I would head to the bathroom. So I went right to the front of the plane so that I'd be out of everyone's way,

and there's someone already waiting for the bathroom, and it's Nick Jonas. And so I sort of hesitate, and then I awkwardly cozy on and next to him and we stand there and we both wait for the bathroom and he looks, he kind of looks up at me and smiles and I smile back

and a few minutes later he looks up at me again and smiles and I smile back but I'm beginning to get a sense like I'm making him feel quite uneasy by me standing there. Oh I mean it's never a nice, it's never a pleasant situation

both people standing outside, whether you're waiting for a port-a-loo or an airline toilet. It feels like a long five minutes. It does. And you can find space. And this kind of goes on for maybe like 15 to 20 more minutes. And he keeps looking at me

and I'm really getting the feeling like he's becoming increasingly uncomfortable. And finally I realise there's no bathroom at the front of the plane. Standing next to him. He was just stretching his legs. I'm like, okay, what's this lady doing? I'm winning his crazy fans.

Is she going to talk? Oh, that's a great story. Thank you for sharing that with us. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I got into some trouble on Friday night, Jono. I was trying to do the right thing. You're always trying to do the right thing.

That's your fault. My heart's in the right place. That's right. You're generous to a fault, Ben Boyce. So I caught up with some mates after their work on Friday because the bars are open again, so they're like, yeah, come have a beer. Yeah.

Not with 100 people. No. You can do that from this Friday. Yeah, you know, because the bars are open again. So they're like, yeah, come have a beer. Yeah. So I drove. Not with a hundred people. No. You can do that from this Friday. Yeah, you can. You're right. A hundred person conga line if you want. It was just a very, just a small gathering, a couple of mates.

And I'd driven my car and I was parked in a parking building, had a beer. And then I was like, you know, I'm enjoying this. I'm enjoying catching up with people. So I'll leave my car in the parking building. I'll have a couple more beers, but I'll do the responsible thing. I'll take a taxi and Uber home. And this is why we love you, you're always doing the right thing And I was like well that's fine. I don't know how this would come back to buy you Ben. Yeah so I'll deal with that later

So I came home maybe a little bit later than I'd originally planned but I'd done the right thing And a little bit slurrier than you had originally promised So I thought I'd walk into the house you know like when a hero comes along the family would be happy to see me They were a bit like. Were you singing that when you walked in the door? That's what I family would be happy to see me. They're a bit like... Were you singing that when you walked in the door?

That's what I thought would be playing as I walked in the door. They're like, oh, you smell a little bit like beer. Outside the door, you're like, forget the song, put the song on. YouTube hero when a hero comes along. No one was really that pleased to see me, to be honest. They were like, you're a bit late, that sort of thing. Thought you were going to be home a wee bit before. Where's your car?

Was another question. I said, well, I left my car in a parking building. It's safe. We'll get it tomorrow. It's the right thing to do. It's the right thing to do. And then my mother-in-law, Joyce, Amanda's mum, my wife's mum, was at home. Wonderful lady, Joyce. As well. And then I sort of had a thought. I thought, oh,

it's going to cost me a lot for my car to be in the parking building overnight. How about I stay home right now with the kids? We can watch something on TV. We can hang out. And Joyce, my mother-in-law, can drive my wife, Amanda, down to the parking building, and they can pick up my car, bring it back.

Now, again, generous to a fault. This has got to save us money. The household. I'll stay here with the kids. I'll be on the front line. Yeah, I'd say, but I was fine. I was good to go. I'm in the trenches here.

But I'll send my wife and her mother-in-law out at 11 o'clock on a Friday night. They were a little bit reluctant. To get my car. But they did it. It was just simple. And Heinz was like, great, full credit to them. And it was nice for them to get out of the house.

You know, another generous thing. So I thought about this. I thought all the way through. I thought, well, I'll draw. You know, it's hard to find a car in those car parks. So, yeah, they're busy. So I drew, you know, a little map for Amanda, my wife. I said, this is where the car is.

You'll notice it here. I drew that before I gave her the keys. I was like, oh, all good to go. Off she went. Nothing like a drunkenly drawn map on a napkin for someone to try and find your vehicle in a 20-story car park building. Well, yeah, so about 25 minutes later, I got a call.

And I was like, man, have you not found the car? She said, no, I've found the car. I'm like, great. Your mum will go, yeah, she's left. Everything's all good except the fact

I didn't give her the ticket to get the car out of the car park building. So she's stuck at the car park building. Her mum's left her. She doesn't have a phone on her. Does she?

No, she does. She's calling you. I don't know why I'm concerned about the phone. She's using a string cup system. So then I had to get Joyce to go back.

Well, come back home, pick up the ticket, take it back down to Amanda. But Joyce would have been even happier. She's like, oh, great. So I get to go back again. This is great. I thought I was going home after this, but now I get to see you again.

Pick up the seat of grandkids again. Yeah, they're there. Take that back to Amanda. It turned into like an hour and a half for poor Amanda to go. She got home at three in the morning. I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. I haven't been home since.

He's now living in that car park building. I have, but thanks for your little tits, guys. Thanks for your little tits. Kia ora, I'm Jane Yee. I'm Alex Casey. And I'm Duncan Grave. We are the hosts of The Real Pod and Confession Cam Time. We bloody love reality telly.

If we sound like your type on paper, join us each week for your fix of reality TV news, recaps and gossip. On The Real Pod, it's perfectly fine to like reality TV. It's a safe space, so let down your walls, wear your heart on your sleeve, and remember, it is what it is. And what it is,

is the RealPod. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network and available wherever you get your pods. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Coming to TVNZ On Demand

is a new show all about the 80s. Putting millennials through some 80s-like quizzes looks pretty amazing. They take their technology off them and they've got to try and weave their way through this game. a new show all about the 80s, putting millennials through some 80s-like quizzes. Looks pretty amazing. They take their technology off them and they've got to try and weave their way through this game show hosted by comedian Guy Montgomery,

very funny individual, and the one and only Kimberley Crossman, who joins us right now from LA. Kimbo. Oh, kia ora, guys. I'm good. How are you guys doing? We're doing well.

I feel like you're on this show every week. We need to get you on the payroll. Yeah. We're using your talents way too much and giving you no financial benefit from it. Not that you know of. Perhaps I'm streaming things over this way, claiming it's my show. You don't know.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what she's doing, Jono. No, I don't know what you're doing. I'm sorry, Kim. I liked that on the publicity the press release that got sent out, Kim, it described you as an all-round it girl. Oh, did it? Yeah. That's hilarious. All-round it girl, as opposed to John O'Meara,

all-round S-H-I-T. Yeah. How do you feel? It girl? Is that how you describe yourself? That's, you know, that's what I've been working towards for a very long time.

So it's great to finally be noticed for my, actually, in all honesty, I'm not sure what it, what is an it girl? I don't know what an it girl is. I was just about to ask. It sounds like you've got a virus or something. She's got the it.

She's caught the it. Now, Kim, just before we get into talking about the show and stuff, I like to play a game sometimes of what are you looking at right now on the phone? I always like to know what people are looking at right now. So what are you doing? I am standing between two cats that at any time could have a rumble. So I'm kind of just doing like a parental stare. Oh, are they doing that?

Not yet, but you will hear it if it happens. It's the older cat. She's got more of like a... Yeah. Do you know a really interesting story? I recorded two cats in the middle of the night. I'll try and get this audio. Oh, Gigi's got this audio.

Listen to this audio. That was audio I recorded. Oh, they were on the deck outside your house, right? Outside my house one night, and I since learnt what was happening was a moment of passionate embrace between the two animals. However, there's a barb on the males. Yeah. And so when he's wanting to end the session,

it's quite a painful experience. Yeah, yeah. I just thought they were about to have a fight and I went out there and I was like, oh no, that's the opposite of fighting. They're lovers, not fighters. I'll leave them to it. Now you know to intervene. You've got to help all the female cats out there. I do. I'm going to sellotape it up. Now, Kim, the show's called Survive the 80s.

You weren't even around in the 80s, so explain how you got involved in the show and what it's all about. Okay, I went briefly in the 80s, but not really. Well, I got asked to be part of the show and yeah, I think for me, kind of my role getting to wear like shoulder pads and mum's clip- on earrings and crimp my hair and kind of learn a little technology or the resources from the 80s sounds like an absolute mess and something that I, as a voyeur, would like to watch as well.

Just millennials failing, really, sounds like what we're all into. It's a great concept for a show. I mean, I survived the 80s. The 80s were a different time. First time round, did you? You're still living like you're in the 80s, too. No social media.

No social media. I haven't changed my clothes since the 80s. Did you, in the show about the 80s, delve into whatever happened to white dog poop? Oh, no, the white stuff in the 80s, it was prevalent. It was all over the show. And then people would fill up 1.5 litre bottles of Coca-Cola, but with water, and put them on the lawns,

which was apparently acting as a deterrent so every front lawn in New Zealand had Coke or Sprite bottles filled with water. Why? A deterrent to who? To the dogs peeing and doing their business on the lawn. Apparently they've got a 1.5

of water. What is the logic in that? I don't know. It was everywhere. Honestly, I did it. I'm a scarecrow. That makes no sense. Kim, before you go, I'm going to play one last game with you, Kim Crossman. You're the host of the brand new show on TVNZ, On Demand, Survive the 80s.

Jono versus Kim. I'm going to play some 80s theme tunes, TV theme tunes. You're both in TV. Let's see how you go with these, all right? First to answer, Jono versus Kim. There's no planet that I'm going to do well here. Well, we'll see. All right, here's your first one.

I know it. Is it like Magnum P.I.? Well done. I'm going to go with like Kits. What does he call his watch? Knight Rider. No, it's not Knight Rider. Okay, Jono's up.

He's up by one. Here we go, the next one. Oh, Cheers? Oh, well done. Okay, it's one all. This is the decider. Sex and the City. No, this is a hard one.

It sounds like Sex and the City. I, this is a hard one. It sounds like Sex and the City. I don't know, maybe we should be playing this one. Why is this a hard one? Did someone get me too'd? Yeah. Who got me too'd? Bill Cosby.

Cosby. Cosby. Yeah, yeah. We should both get points for that because you only got it because I said you were right. You said me too'd. Yeah, okay. There we go. Well, that was a bit of 80s. Well done, Jonah.

Well done. You can catch Kim Crossman's show, Remember the 80s. It's on TVNZ On Demand. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jonah and Ben on the hits. I know it's very cold in some parts of the country. Do you know what I was thinking of when I was driving into work this morning? What's that?

Do you think they use refrigerators in Antarctica? Would there be any need for a refrigerator? Because the temperature is going to be colder than what the fridge could ever get to. That's a good question, but then inside your temperature could be warm, because they don't want to walk around in freezing. Yeah, but where's the stakes? Oh, just out in the snow

out there, go grab it. Yeah, I guess you could put them outside, couldn't you? You could save on, I mean, transporting a fridge to Antarctica I'm sure is not an easy task, is it? No, Mr Rental's not going to deliver there, is he? Yeah. So there we go. There's some interesting stuff that was running through my head this morning.

Well, speaking of businesses. This is Jingle Bells, where we take some of radio's most infamous, famous jingles and phone the store in question and see if they'll sing along to their jingle. Ben, you... No, normally they're quite busy. You know, normally they're like, they're doing work and we interrupt their day. Yeah. And I've got no time to sing a jingle here. I'm trying to busy. You know, normally they're like, they're doing work and we interrupt their day. Yeah. I've got no time to sing a jingle here.

I'm trying to make sushi at St. Pears. We're like, well, sing along to your song. Anyway, God, we're annoying. Yeah, but we're all filling in time. And, you know, they're doing their job. We're doing our job. And we respect what they're doing. They have no respect for what we're doing.

At all. Not an ounce. So, Producer Juliet, today we're going to do Tony's Tire Service. Everyone knows and loves tyres. Yeah. Tyres play such a pivotal role in all of our lives,

don't you? We don't really pay enough credit to tyres. You're right. So, everyone knows the jingle to Tony's Tire Service? Tony's Tire Service! It's a classic.

Oh, it's so good. Put that in the jingle hall of fame. I was just reading 39 stores nationwide for Tony's Tire Service. It's a classic. Oh, it's so good. Put that in the Jingle Hall of Fame. I was just reading 39 stores nationwide for Tony's Tire Service. Now, whilst searching out Tony's Tire Service, we found another tire service with a jingle also. Steve's Tire Service. Steve's Tire Service. But it's confusing also because Steve became the face of Tony's Tire Service.

I don't know if it's the same Steve, but he was the guy on the air going, hey, Steve here, Tony's Tire Service. He was the guy who basically took over the company. And it's quite an interesting story about how he bought the first tire shop and then it almost went bankrupt and he helped him turn it around. And there we go. So it's almost like if you've got a tire shop, you just put your name in front of it, then say Tire Service and have a jingle, and it's a winning recipe.

So we're going to go through to Tony's tyre service for jingle bells this morning, see if they'll sing along. Welcome to Tony's tyre service. He's speaking with Ona. Ona. Hi. Hi. Jono and Ben.

Hi. We're welcomed. Sorry, I was thinking you'd probably know us, but may I? Oh, my God. Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Huh? We're welcomed Sorry I was thinking You'd probably know us But may I Oh my god John and Ben From the Hits Radio Station I egotistically assumed That you'd know us

And you don't And it's all a bit awkward Oh no I do Now you're just saying that Because you're just very nice Yeah now you know You heard our feelings It's okay

It's okay We're playing a game Called Jingle Bells We just need you To finish this Tony's Tire Service What? That's when you come in and go, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Okay, okay. Tony's Tire Service. Yeah. Yeah. We love the jingle. We love Tony's Tire Service. Just reading about the history that was,

Steve was the face of Tony's Tire Service for many years. Yes. Now, we're just saying you don't realise how much importance you place on tyres in your life and how much of a pivotal role tyres have to play in your day-to-day life. Yeah, that's true. Every time you drive around

with your family, you're driving on those tyres. You're placing a lot of trust in those tyres, Jono. That's true. Which means we're placing trust in you. Which means we're placing trust in... Tony's Tire Service. Yeah.

There we go. That was a wonderful ad. We're trusting you. You're trusting me and Tony's Tire Service. Yeah. So good, so good. Anyway, we're... Can I just say Tony has paid nothing for this?

It's been priceless advertising. Exactly. I was surprised. I hope you get a pay rise or something out of this. You're a great sport. And stay safe. You will because you're on tyres that are safe. That are from...

Tony's Tyre Service. Yeah. Yeah, this has been a fun phone call. It has been fun. All right, you have a good day. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram.

Scrolling through your feed. Yeah, this is, you know, this is the news that the proper news is too scared to take a hold of, mainly because they've got credibility. Not us, though. Not us. Oh, some of these things they do talk about, but just not as lightly as we do. No, we just like lightly dust over it, have a bit of a laugh, move on. We read the headlines and, you know, we sort of make up the rest. That's how it goes.

These are things that have happened overnight that maybe you've missed because you've been asleep. New Zealand yesterday, no new virus cases for the third day in a row. We've only had one case in seven days. And now Jacinda Ardern has announced that gatherings of 100 people are allowed from midday Friday for churches, funerals, that sort of thing. What about mass swingers conventions? Well, the social distancing probably. How does that work? I don't know the ins and outs.

What a big 100-person Royal Rumble wrestling match. Again, social distancing, I think, you know, you're probably allowed 100 in the room, but I don't know what they're allowed to do together. I was hearing in the news, I heard Ash Thomas saying in the news, that there are rugby trainings starting up for 10 or less. How does that work? Because there's 15 people on a rugby team. Yeah.

Maybe they're going to have 10-a-side games. Yeah. But all five of them are going to be very out of practice. We didn't train for this one. It looks like we're going to be in level two for a month at the least. But something really that does worry me about what's going on right now, you remember these ads this is a COVID-19

announcement so they were all over the TV all over the radio for many many weeks well yesterday that lady the COVID lady she wasn't there this guy was this is a COVID-19 message from the Ministry of Health download the app now

I don't know but but I like him. I like him. He sounds more positive. The other lady's like, oh, I've been in the trenches with you guys. I've been talking you through this for the past 10 weeks. I'll give it over to my mate here. He can take you through to the finish line.

So the guy comes in right at the end and goes, oh, you got it under control? I'll take it from there. Thanks a lot. Thanks, love. Oh, man's playing this for you. There I go. I'm sure maybe it's just the actors not available

or for the voiceover in reality. She's probably voiced out. She's like, how much more do you want me to do? I'm done. You've got level two. You've got bloody mass orgies happening. It's fine. I've said everything there is to say.

We're back there. Well, thank God coronavirus is gone. Coronavirus. Coronavirus. We are on top of it, so that's a good sign. The warehouse, because Easter happened during the whole lockdown, so many people couldn't, well, I think the warehouse, you couldn't even buy anything even online.

So they had a whole lot of Easter stock. It's now available for one cent. You know, big chocolate, big Easter chocolates you can get for one cent. Oh, there you go. If you want to buy expired chocolate, one cent's about. I don't think it's expired yet. It must nearly be expired. Why are they hocking it off for one cent. Oh, there you go. If you want to buy expired chocolate, one cent. I don't know if it's expired. I don't think it's expired yet. It must nearly be expired. Why are they hocking off for one cent?

One cent? For a dollar, you can get 100 Easter eggs. Like, big Easter eggs for a dollar. Well, if you don't die of coronavirus... Coronavirus! Maybe diabetes might get you. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them.

That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben with you on the hits. Ben just pointed at producer Juliet as if she was

to do something, like play something. He gave her the gun, you know, the bang. Yeah, and I looked panicked and I was like, what am I playing here? It's quite a fun game.

I wish I did it on purpose. And I think panic's a young producer than just gun pointing at them you should just do that just point at it and see what happens are you on the hits

bang just pause a whole lot of sound effects and music and stuff like that a little bit of her just died inside I really did

it was you I meant to point to because you're talking about this your mate Johnny yeah no lockdown's obviously provided an opportunity for many people to learn new skills languages, pointing finger guns, you know

we've learned a lot of stuff but a friend of mine has said, well this is unintentional he didn't set out to learn this but he's a big wrestling fan and he always takes the day off for WrestleMania, which is generally on a Monday, isn't it? So he takes a day's annual leave to watch WrestleMania.

He's a fully grown man, but hey. He has watched a lot of wrestling during lockdown and he has developed a skill to recognise all wrestlers simply by looking at their crotch. So you could zoom in on a JPEG of any wrestler's crotch and you'd be like, that's The Undertaker. Oh, because I guess they wear distinctive tights. Yeah, I don't know if he's looking at the shape of the pelvis.

Yeah, like, oh, pink, oh, that one's the black tights, that one's got white tights. There's John Cena's penis. Yeah, yeah. So that's his skill, which is he can identify the rock's pebbles simply by looking at a photo, which will serve him, like I said before, absolutely no good in life. But he spent eight weeks doing that.

He reckons he could do wrestlers dating from the early 90s right through to your more recent ones. As you say, that's a skill that will serve no purpose. My mate, also in lockdown, he learned how to do the eyebrow roll. You know when you get your eyebrow, one goes up, and it's sort of like when you go to a sports game and people do the Mexican wave. It's like making your eyebrows do a continuous wave.

No, there was a cabriette with the young girl who used to do it. That's right. It's quite a tough thing to do. I thought of this YouTube video. I love this guy. Rise your brows up and put them down. used to do it. That's right. It's quite a tough thing to do. So my dad taught him off this YouTube video. I love this guy. Rise your brows up and put them down. Everyone can do it,

I hope. Then you put your brows down and rise only one. Try to work on your brows independently. This is a bit more difficult. I love the music behind this. It's like a 1997's

Hard House techno beat there. Why does he sound like a James Bonfiller? Is he the coach? Is he the eyebrow coach? He's the eyebrow coach. So if you watch that video. Is he good at it? Oh, yeah, he can do it.

He can nail it. And he reckons. But he's like, watch this video and you'll get to learn how to do it. But then halfway through he goes, yeah, in a few months. A few months? Yeah, so you've really got to work at it. But my mate nailed it over lockdown. What we need to do is we need to pitch a TV show to TVNZ,

Lockdown Talents. It's too late now. It's too late. But post. What did you learn during lockdown? You'd be like, oh, you put up a picture of a wrestler. I'll tell you, just somebody looking at his crotch and their eyebrow talents. And I can drink at 11 o'clock in the morning

and still kind of function as a parent. That sort of thing. And not stop till 9 o'clock when I pass out on the couch yeah this is a great show the lockdown talent show might be coming to TVNZ

some people skip breakfast the meal and also this show it's Jono and Ben on the hits oh what's that oh no shut up

oh now what oh it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening. We're up in the morning nice and early, and we like to get other people up as well. And if you wake up someone in your life,

you can win Thanks to Hell pizza, a $40 pizza voucher. And it's finally here, Hell's Reuben pizza, loaded with beef brisket pastrami, and it's available right now. Jessie, you're on the phone. You know that. That's not information to you. Welcome.

Hi. Good to have you on in Christchurch. Is it cold this morning? Yeah, and very, very wet. Yeah, cold and wet. It's so cold you can almost hear the boomers saying, told you climate change wasn't a thing. Now, Jessie, we're going to wake up your partner,

who's also called Jessie. Yeah. This is amazing. We know a Lee and a Lee. That's right. Lee Gilmore, Lee Dolby. Yeah. This is amazing. I love, we know a Lee and a Lee. Lee Gilmore, Lee Dolby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love,

great partner names, Jessie and Jessie. I had so many people tell me, don't get with him because your son will get so confused and like be so betrayed

and it's like. It seems like a very shallow reason not to be with him. Our names are never going to work. It's going to be confusing for the kids.

I know. You call your mum and dad, I work. It's going to be confusing for the kids. I know. You've got your mum and dad, I guess. You're really underestimating your kids. I think a kid can go, oh, that's dad. Anyway, Jessie, what does your partner do? He's a dispatch. He works in dispatch. Halfway through there, you started talking,

and you're like, I actually don't know what he does for a job. It's early, okay? It's a dispatch. He's dispatching something somewhere. So we're going to phone Jesse. We've got four questions for him to answer if he gets all four right. 40 bucks with a hell pizza. Let's go through now.

What time does he usually get up? About five-ish. Oh, so he'll be up? Maybe. Maybe. I'm not sure. He sounds awake. Um, about five-ish. Oh, so he'll be up? Mmm, maybe. I'm not sure. Hello, Jesse speaking. He sounds awake. He does.

Jesse, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits. Oh, good morning, guys. With Jesse on the phone, this whole segment's meant to be us waking you up rudely, but you sound like you're up and at him. I'm always up and at him, mate. Never sleeping. Always awake.

Never sleeping. No awake. Never sleeping. No off-button for Jesse. All right, Jesse, we've got to ask you some questions. I feel like you're going to do quite well because you sound wide awake. Who is the current All Black First 5'8"? Is it Rodan Garrett, Bowden Barrett, or Nodin Rabbit? Rodan Garrett. Rodan Garrett. We're locking in Rodan.

Yes, yes, yes, sorry, yes, yes. Locking in Roden Garrett? Yep. Not Bowdoin Barrett? No. Oh, Bowdoin Barrett? Oh, yes, yes. I'm not a sporty guy.

That's all right. You got $10 Hell Pizza? I like Roden Garrett better anyway. Dwayne Johnson's nickname is what? A, The Pebble, B, The Rock, or C, The Boulder? The Rock. Well done. There you go. $20 Hell Pizza. The Pebble B. The Rock Or C. The Boulder The Rock Well done There you go $20 hell pizza

Now he's on fire Here he goes Who is the current leader of the National Party? A. Simon Bridges B. David Seymour Or C. Todd Muller Todd Muller Yeah well done

Yeah I got that That was new I love your live commentary I got that one Kim Kardashian has her own line of what? A, cocaine, B, computers, or C, shapewear? I wish it was A, but yeah, C, C. C, shapewear, well done.

Right, $40 hell pizza coming your way, my friend. Oh, sweet, thank you very much. We were just complimenting Jessie on your great couple name of Double Jessies. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's quite confusing sometimes. Great conversation starter at any party as well.

You've got 10 minutes of banter there. Yeah, yeah, definitely, yeah. Yeah, and it's spelled differently, so that's an extra five minutes. You can talk about a spelling. So are you Jessie with an E? Jessie with an E, yeah.

Yeah, gotcha. And you're Jessie with a Y, are you, Jessie? No, no, I'm not. Oh, wait, that one. Oh, IE, oh. Oh, IE, oh, yeah, right, gotcha. And you're Jessie with a Y, are you, Jessie? No, no, I'm not. Oh, wait, that one. Oh, IE, oh, IE. Oh, IE, oh, IE, right, okay. Here we go.

Great banter. Hey, you guys have a wonderful day. Thank you for listening, and look after yourself in Christchurch. No worries, mate, you too. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

I like pineapple on pizza. I like the ads that pop up on YouTube. Kiwi onion dip? Tastes like crap. Controversial call-outs. This is where both John and I say something that could be deemed controversial. We do it before 7 o'clock, so hopefully we get away with it. Yeah, so the masses don't hear it and truly know who we are as people, but our 6 o'clock friends, you know our deep, dark secrets. Ben, I the masses don't hear it and truly know who we are as people, but you know, our six o'clock friends,

you know our deep, dark secrets. Ben, I'll kick things off today. Okay. I don't like Lord of the Rings. I've never seen it. What? But you can't say you don't like it if you haven't given it a chance. Seems like too much of a commitment to me. And I know this might be very un-New Zealand of me to say. We've traded off it for too long.

We're still milking. What bloody Hobbiton is still going, isn't it? Well, hopefully. Hopefully it is. Yeah. It's great. It's actually really cool. Even if you haven't seen Lord of the Rings,

I went and took the kids to Hobbiton a couple of years ago. They hadn't seen it and they loved it. I felt like we were just obliged to like it as New Zealanders. Not even Peter Jackson wants anything to do with it now. Aren't they making a TV series? He's like, no thanks. Please, I'm Lord of the Rings'd out. I feel hurt by this statement have you

watched them all yes yeah i watched them all i did enjoy them all i read them all on dvd as well before i ended they're really good yeah i was looking forward to watching they are long yeah but it's it's so fair you know if you've read the original story which i read the first one at the school it's a bit they're very long books. Okay. So, it's true to the books. When do we, when do we And the books, the size of an Oxford dictionary. Yeah, they're long. Okay.

When do you think we should stop trading off it as a country? Right. Oh, because it's always going to be our thing, right? I mean, maybe we could tone it back a little bit in Wellington. Just a little. You know? Because you went to a store in Japan and it was all Michael Jackson themed. Yeah, that was the only thing the guy had

and there was Michael Jackson stuff. This is post the documentary. It wasn't long after the doco and I was like, oh, is the doco not going here? Or were we just like, I bought all the stock. I've nailed my foot to the floor.

You need to kind of get rid of the stuff. You've got to let go. Hey, there's a few discrepancies. I've got some merch to sell here. Some great t-shirts with some hats. Michael Jackson sipper bottles. So yeah, okay, that's my only thing. I've never washed it. I think you should give it a chance.

No. I think your kids would enjoy it. Oscar would love it. You know, there's lots of fighting, there's battles, there's epic stuff. It's an epic storyline. So now you're making me feel bad for saying this. Well, yeah, because it's helped New Zealand's economy so many years. This isn't're making me feel bad for saying this. Well yeah, because it's helped New Zealand's economy for so many years. This isn't about making me feel bad. Well you said something controversial and I disagree

with it. Okay, what's your opinion? Also along the same lines, Game of Thrones, the TV show, my wife Amanda has just been getting into it and I watched it before her so now I get to relive it kind of through her going oh, such and such happened. She's up to the Ed Sheeran cameo bit last night.

So Ed Sheeran cameos. Which was a huge scandal. Oh, yeah. She was fired up about it last night. It pulled the audience out of the world of dragons and incestuous relationships. So I said, there's people, there's like ice creatures that come back to life.

A guy comes back to life in the series, as well as dragons and all this other stuff. And now she's getting annoyed because Ed Sheeran's the one that pulled her out of the world. What's his cameo? Does he come on there and sing Galway Girl or something? Fell in love with an Irish. It's very brief. They're like sitting

around like a sort of camping, sort of, you know, in the bush sort of thing. Is he singing? I can't even remember if he sings, but he's just like talking, you know, he's just talking. It's like a couple of lines and everyone's like, ah, boo, Ed Sheeran. So I'm going to say I liked Ed Sheeran in there. I enjoyed seeing Ed Sheeran in there. Why not? If anything, more Ed Sheeran. So I'm going to say I liked Ed Sheeran in there. I enjoyed seeing Ed Sheeran in there. Why not? If anything, more Ed Sheeran.

If anything, yeah, give him a bigger role. Ed Sheeran should have done a concert for them all. Yeah, wouldn't that have been nice? So there you go, that was my controversial call-out. I'd say more Ed Sheeran in Game of Thrones. Ben, I'm going to have a pull aside here. Why? In terms of controversial call-outs, I liked

Ed Sheeran in Game of Thrones. It's not going to divide the nation. A lot of people got fired up. You know what? I liked Ed Sheeran in Game of Thrones. People got fired up. My wife was fired up about it last night. I'm really at this stage with this segment.

Yeah. It was only because my wife was watching it. I was like, ah, it's fine. Let it be. Yeah, let it be. Why is it annoying you so much that Ed Sheeran's in there? Oh, people love hating on stuff. Did you just hear me ramble on about Lord of the Rings?

I know. I'm all hurt by that. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. This is where we call a different town or place in New Zealand. One a day until we get through every place in New Zealand. All the places.

And today, we're still in the A's. Yeah, jeez. I tell you what. we're at day 15. We've still got 10 more places to call in A's. We're not even, we're nowhere near being. We've got another week, two weeks. We haven't even moved on from the first letter. Oh, wee.

So we're phoning Aranga right now. And our Aranga is a wonderful little rural community, 40 k's north of Dargaville. Do you know what their main employment is centered around? No. Beef. Oh, yeah. It makes sense.

Yeah, a lot of beef. We'll settle the beef with Aranga right now. Who have they got beef with today? Probably us for calling them. Holiday Park, Lynette speaking. Have we got hold of the Aranga backpackers? Yep. Yeah, we do.

Lynette, it's Aranga, baby. Woo. Aranga, baby. Great. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Hello, Jono and Ben from the Hits. Hello. We're ringing every town and place in New Zealand one a day,

and we've got to Aranga, baby. Oh, you're only up to the A's. Yeah, oh, mate, we were just talking about it. You've got to make your rig along, boys, and you won't be finished by Christmas. How's Aranga? Tell us about your wonderful slice of paradise. We're Kirikiri Holiday Park and Oranga Backpackers,

and we're fabulous. We're tropical paradise in New Zealand. Tropical paradise. So if you need to get away, you can't get to Fiji, Samoa or Tonga, come to us. All right. Okay, I feel like we've slipped into an infomercial, but that's all right. I'm here now.

Yeah, that's what we do here. What's at your holiday park, then? Yeah, the Aranga is just a building in our holiday park. Oh, I see. I see. Have you been to Aranga itself? No. Oh, okay.

Well, we've called completely the wrong place. I'm very confused by this. What have we done? You haven't even got the right town, lads. What have we done? What have we done? I'm so confused. We're meant to phone Aranga.

Yeah. And we'll phone... Aranga Backpackers is the name of our backpackers, which is in the Kirikiri Holiday Park. Why would you name it... It's in Kirikiri in the far north. Why would you name it Aranga Backpackers if it's in Kirikiri when Aranga's a different place? Because we thought, shit, one day someone from the radio station

will call us if we're in A. And we'll get a free advert saying we're the Fiji of New Zealand. Oh, yeah, the winterless north. You're up north. Yeah, you're right. It's a lovely place. I'm going to make a call here. This is an executive decision.

We're going to leap ahead to K and Kirikiri. We'll knock Kirikiri off the list now. We'll come back to A tomorrow. So why should people come to Kirikiri? People should come to Kirikiri because it's beautiful. It's tropical. It's always sunny except for today when it's raining. And it's friendly and it has great coffee,

heaps of cafes. And are confusingly titled backpackers. Yes, that's right. Now, how long have you been there? Three years. How many locals in Kerikeri? Quite a few? Yes, there are.

It's about 8,000, 9,000. Oh, you're a big smoke, mate. Nice. You know, I went to Kerry Kerry over Christmas and I went to the gym and they had a dog on the treadmill. Apparently that's what the dog likes to do at the gym. He likes to go for a walk on the treadmill.

He's actually the mayor. He's the mayor. He's made some big decisions. Yeah, I was like, oh, there you go. He got up on the treadmill, wasn't going, he barked and then I was like, oh, I'll turn it on and away he went. Oh, good one. I was like, oh, there we go. Does he up on the treadmill, wasn't going, he barked, and then I was like, oh, I'll turn it on, and away he went. Oh, good one. I was like, oh, there we go.

Does he get up a good pace? He's quite good. He's going faster than me, that's for sure. Okay, Jono and Ben, you have a great day. Are you wrapping us up? Are you wrapping us up? I was talking about a dog on a treadmill. Yeah, that's right.

You lost me. I'm a cat. Okay, fair enough. Hey, lovely talking to you. You look after yourself. Shall do. See you, mate. Bye-bye.

The Aranga Backpackers and Kerry Kerry really tripped us up there, didn't they? I was very confused by that. Yeah, no, I don't know why. It'd be like saying the Taupo Hotel in Waikato.

Yeah. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Spy. Know what's up?

Spy.co.nz. Producer Juliet is in with some spy entertainment news. So Kevin Hart, his whole cheating scandal with his wife happened in 2017. But he has come out to say that the reason, because they're still together obviously, the reason that they decided to stay together was she liked the fact that they had a family and a household together and she was the one, she's basically saying, I am putting the responsibility in your hands

to make our marriage better and he loved that. He's like, yeah, I love that she put it in my hands because it makes me a responsible man and all of that jazz. What do you think of that, Benny boy? Benny boy is a big Kevin Hart fan and when this broke, when this broke, he was defending him. He was caught, there was some footage of Kevin Hart fan. And when this broke, when this broke, he was defending him.

He was caught. There was some footage of Kevin Hart canoodling him. Yes, that's right. At the time, we didn't know it was canoodling. It was with someone in a car. And everyone was like, oh, they're cheating. And I stuck up for him. Because Kevin Hart, as I said before you stay on the show,

I not only really like him as a comedian, I also like the fact that we interviewed him a couple of times and he remembered me. And he's like, you guys did lame jokes. I was like, oh, my God. Out of all the interviews in the world, he remembered me. And so that forgives him

for the Chetty's gift. No, no, I was just saying, you remembered me, I'll forgive you for Chetty. I've got a close connection with him. I was like, I really like Kevin Hart,

he's my boy. Yeah, I like Kevin Hart, he remembers me when we do bad jokes. So when this came out and he denied it, I was like, yeah, I'll back him on this.

Yeah, we weren't there, we don't know. He could have been ducking down to check the handbrake. Yeah. That's why he might have been ducking down. He might have lost his keys down here at the top or something.

I don't know. So I was like, whatever, maybe these are things. And then he denied it and then he went, eventually, I did it. Yeah, I know. But when you find out stuff like that about your favourite celebrities, it's hard to go against them when they've done wrong because you're like, well, I love you. He's only human and he's learning from it and he's being a better person.

Do you know his wife was pregnant at the time? Yeah. And remember how ham we went on Tristan Thompson for cheating on Chloe when he was... True. I mean, I put Tristan Thompson's face, I printed it out on the colour printer, stuck it to a broomstick and burnt him.

Burned him at the stake. That's how upset you were. Yeah, I was. But anyway, good on you, Ben, for sticking up for your boy. Yeah, well, it's their business. It's their business. Yeah, that's true. They want to deal with it. They're getting through this as a relationship.

I'm happy for them. And I'm just happy because they're happy. That's good. And as long as they're on the right track now, right? You know? A way to judge. Ben's mother-in-law fully backs Lance Armstrong and doesn't think he cheated on her.

Oh, yes, I love that. She really struggled with that for a long time. Still to this day, is she like... I think now she knows deep down. Yeah. And despite the video evidence, I think now she knows deep down. Yeah. And despite the video evidence, Ben still doesn't know deep down. Despite Camille Hart even admitting he did it, he still doesn't know. We don't know.

I wasn't there. I don't know. True, true. You never know. And there's obviously been speculation that Benedict Cumberbatch is in New Zealand. So he was filming on Rikino Island on the day going into lockdown. So whether or not he gapped it, was able to gap it back to the States or wherever, or he stayed, but someone has delved deep.

And so what they've done, this is something that I would do back in my fangirl days of Justin Bieber. There's a Zoom call of Benedict Cumberbatch on the internet and someone has looked at the books on the bookshelf behind him and seen that they matched the books in the bookshelf in a particular Hawke's Bay luxury lodge.

And so they're like, oh my gosh, Benedict Cumberbatch. Benedict Cumberbatch. Oh, it's such hard words. Benedict Cumberbatch. Benedict Cumberbatch is in the Hawke's Bay. Exactly. Kennebitt Cunderbatch is here. I'm going to stop you there before you say something like that.

We can't broadcast. How many different ways can you say that name, eh? How is this, though, for going to the extra level to try and work it out? Yeah, I know. It's like it's a different bookshelf almost. It's basically one series of books that they've gone, oh, that's the same. The Encyclopedia Britannicas or whatever they are. They were in two different photos.

Who loves Benedict Cumberbatch so much that they would dedicate, oh, that's probably two days worth of investigation. Did you know he can't say penguin? He calls it penguin. You can't say his last name. I would be throwing stones at Benedict. And that is thanks to Pack and Save Stickman now has Instagram

And you can check him out at instickman on Instagram