Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 27 - James Hardy, We Want To Give Away Green Queens, Misheard Song Lyrics

Episode Date: May 26, 2020

Misheard Song LyricsJono elbowed a chestWe want to give out Green QueensJames Hardy worked for the Queen and the Royal FamilySpyJulia RobsonDo you have to let your partner look through your device?Scrolling Through Your FeedRude AwakeningJono has a mate that's never criedSpyWe're late for the news!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast on a Wednesday, brought to you by HelloFresh. Yeah, now this is going to seem like an ad for HelloFresh. Well yeah, because I said brought to you by HelloFresh, so I just wanted to say thank you for supporting the podcast. You know, I appreciate it, appreciate it. Number one on iHeartRadio, so you can see why they jump on board. I've been eating HelloFresh.

I've never tried it before. Last night I had Korean beef. Never tried Korean beef tacos. Do you know my major problem with HelloFresh, though, is the meat gets stuck in my teeth. I've got a gap in my back of my tooth. Well, that's not your problem with them, though. That's their problem with your teeth. That's not their fault.

My teeth have rotted at the back and there's a gap with it so what's it their fault eh what's the major problem with eating in general is the fact yeah well I'm

blaming HelloFresh I need someone to blame no well don't blame them they're supporting our podcast they're awesome I like the fact that HelloFresh

it comes in different extra smoke screen I don't know what you're saying is that me talking about my meat teeth I don't care about your meat teeth it comes in little paper, like

each one comes in a little paper bag for each meal, so it's a lot easier. It's handy. I just go, oh, here's tonight's meal. Yeah, it is handy. It is handy. What's not handy is getting meat stuck in the back of your teeth, which is my problem. That's my fault. It's on me. It's on you. It should be on you, not them. Today we've got a really interesting podcast where

we chat to a private investigator and someone who was the barista for the Queen in Joy. The Songy Cornflakes of Radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I was clearing out my computer yesterday afternoon. It's starting to get a bit laggy, a bit cloggy, a bit clogged up. There's a lot of stuff that computer's saying, yeah. I don't know how to try to eradicate it all yesterday.

But I was going through some old videos and stuff, and I found this adorable little video of when Poppy, my daughter, was three. Yeah. Her and her mate were singing, you know, the much-loved Justin Timberlake song, Can't Stop the Feeling. You know this song? And I had filmed them singing this song,

and have a listen to their rendition. I'm going to place a leper you to dance, dance, dance. I'm going to place a leper you to dance, dance, dance. I'm going to place a leper you, dance, dance, dance. They've got no words right apart from the dance, dance, dance. They've mumbled their way through it like a drunk person in a bar who likes to sing along but doesn't really know the words to Semisonic's Closing Time. Yeah, true.

So we thought we would this morning throw it out there for songs you've been singing wrong, the misheard lyrics. It's a radio staple. It's been done before. It'll be done again. We're not changing the game with this. We're just taking part and enjoying the game.

When I signed the contract here with the NZME, I said, don't expect the game to be changed. If anything, we won't even affect the game in the slightest. We'll just sub on for a bit and then maybe get subbed off. Put us on the benches for the majority of the game. Yeah, so actually, I was like, I've got to misheard your lyric from my kids the other day on the phone. They were singing Old Town Road, you know, Billy Ray Cyrus' song.

Yeah, I'm going to take my horse to the hotel room. And take my horse to the Old Town Road was not what they were singing. Yeah, I'm going to take my horse to the hotel room. Take your horse to the hotel room. Where did you read that? Online. So the internet had wrote it for them. Apparently they thought that was the actual lyrics.

Tell you who's turning up after you take a horse to a hotel room is the authorities. Yeah, true. Why are you on a horse in a motel room? Very tough to get in a lift too, I'd imagine too. I mean, you have to sneak it in under the cover of darkness. So what is your misheard lyric? I was looking online. There's so many online.

I like this one. Missy Elliott, get your freak on. A lot of people thought it was get your free cone, ice cream cone. Get your freak on. Get your freak on. Get your freak on. Maybe subliminal ice cream messages. Good advert for Ben and Jerry's if they do a free cone Friday again.

Hey, 0800 the hits. That's our phone number. 0800 843-4487. I just remembered that without reading it. Geez, I'm so proud of myself. You can text 24487. Misheard lyrics. What have you been singing wrong?

Love to get your calls on. Hey, let's head to Christchurch and welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. Fiona, how are you, Fiona? I'm good's Breakfast, Fiona. How are you, Fiona? I'm good, thanks, guys. How are you? Oh, we're good. Thank you for joining the show, mate. Really appreciate it.

You misheard lyric. What was it? It was in Leona Lewis's Bleeding Love. I thought she said, you call me a banana instead of you cut me open and I. You cut me open and I. It does sound like you're calling me a banana.

Keep letting him, keep... Which is an offensive term, isn't it? Yeah. No, that's great for you. And I thank you very much. Appreciate it. Toby! Welcome, Tobes.

You misheard lyric. As we said, this is a well-trodden territory in the commercial radio game. We're not here to change the game. We're just here to play it for a bit. You're in, Buttobs. Well, I think I'm going to have something that might change it up because, you know, Maroon 5, that's what lovers do.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, when I was younger, I may have thought that that's what lovers do is actually try to do what llamas do. Try to do what llamas do. Llamas do what? Spit in each other's faces? Sort of hang out with their weird long necks.

So we're going to send you out a Jono and Ben face mask. Thanks to the team at Kind Face for you. In fact, every caller that calls us up today, we'll send one out for you. Face masks for everyone. Your faces will be protected. Okay, well done, Toby. Appreciate it.

From Lower Hutt, Georgia. Good to have you on the show with us, matey. What was your misheard lyric? Good morning. I thought Little Mix was saying, shout out to my eggs. What, like their ovaries? Shout out to my ovaries.

Maybe they just make a lovely scrambled egg or a potion. It's like, give a shout. They're the best. That's why you go to Little Mix's house. There's not enough songs shouting out to people's ovaries. No, you're right. There should be more. There should be more.

Hey, thank you, George. I really appreciate it. Let's head to the West Coast. Jo, you're on New Zealand's Breakfast, and you're a legend. What's your misheard lyric? Okay, so it's actually not mine. It's my friend's. So think of Grease and think of the song, The One That I Want.

The chosen lyric is, my shoes are made of plywood and I'm losing control instead of my shoes are multiplying. Okay, my shoes are made of plywood. I don't know how he did it. How did you get my shoes are made of plywood? In my defense, it wasn't me. It was a mate and we were slightly having a good time.

Yeah. Shoes are made of plywood. None of that sounds like it. Hey, thanks for listening, Joe. We'll take one more. Kev's in the capital. What was your Miss Heard lyric, Kevin? Mine was the Eminem song Monster with Rihanna,

and she goes, I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed. And literally until a couple of weeks ago, I thought it was, I'm friends with the mustard, that son of a bitch. I can see how you got that. I love this guy. This is good. It's very good.

Thank you very much for your call. Remember to double pump the Virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Of course, New Zealand doing really well in the fight against COVID-19. Just 22 active cases now in New Zealand. And everyone's like, open the borders. We've got to get the borders open. I was like, why?

Why are we opening them? Like, let's just get Australians. Get all the Australians in. It's like, why are we so bad? Governments, like, you've already bullied us into level two. Now you're trying to bully us into opening the borders. Australia's not even opening all their

borders between states yet. You know, let's at least wait until that happens, Well, we've got Nano

Girl on the show tomorrow, a scientist who we talk to every week. We can ask her when she thinks we should open

the borders. Because remember this time last week, she's like, oh, she hasn't been outside yet.

She thought it was too soon for us. She didn't trust all us idiots. So it'll be interesting to see her take on that tomorrow. 8.20, join us, Jono, I'll be back with the science. She didn't trust all us idiots. So it'll be interesting to see her take on that tomorrow.

8.20, join us. Jono, I've been back with Nano Girl. All your favourite characters. Now, Ben, I know that you understand I have a checkered history with greetings. Oh, you do? Yeah. You make it awkward.

I do. Yeah, I do. You were like on a marae once. Up north, yeah, we were at Cape Reanga and welcome there by the local iwi. And it was a line of people. I don't know if I've told this yet, it was a line of people and we were getting hongied along the line, but then some would hongie and some would shake hands, but there was no sort of like, I didn't notice that

Some was a kiss on the cheek. A cheek as well, yeah, but then there was no sort of consistency in terms of whether it was just the men ho-hongied and the women you kissed on the cheek because some of the women would hongie. So I was halfway down the line. It gets inside your head. I was all in my head. Yeah, yeah. And so I went...

You don't want to offend anyone in this situation. No, absolutely not. You don't want to break protocol. Yeah, so I went in with this lovely lady. I went for a handshake kiss. I thought this was going to be our thing because you had to kind of predict what was going to break protocol. Yeah, so I went in with this lovely lady. I went for a handshake kiss. I thought this was going to be our thing because you had to kind of predict what was going to happen next. But she was full-blooded hongia.

So she came in and I was in for a kiss and her nose ended up inside my mouth. Like you were a fighting Nemo or something, like a fish sort of on the end of her. Yeah, I was like, oh, gosh. She found it hilarious. Yeah, thankfully. She was like, this is a on the end of her. Yeah. She found it hilarious. Yeah, thankfully. She was like,

this is a first. It was definitely a first. And I was like, we always hang out. So that's sort of great and not great in the COVID-19 environment. No, you can't do it

but then, I mean, you know. You can't put someone's nose in your mouth. As a fumbly, uncoordinated white guy, the last thing we need is more complications

around public greetings. Oh, even, you're right, when a guy comes up to shake your hand, even before COVID, you're like, is he an elbower? Is he a shaker?

Is he going to go with those cool sort of bro shakes and I'm never going to nail this? Yeah, but now, I just don't know what anyone's doing

because you never know how. Have you shaken? Oh, you have. You've shaken someone's hand the other day. Yeah, and you didn't shake. And then I felt awkward because I didn't,

but I was remembering that you shouldn't. then i accidentally shook and then you felt awkward afterwards because you should i was like oh god i want to cut my hand off it's got covered got coronavirus yeah uh but yeah yesterday uh there was a lady outside work who i'd you know had known for a number of years and I hadn't seen her in a while. And she was like, hi, how are you? And I was like, oh, God, because we're going to have to have some sort of greeting. Is it going to be a handshake? Is it going to be an elbow?

Is it going to be a hug? Because, you know, on any other day it would be a hug. Yeah. And so I was like, okay, well, I pulled out a last minute elbow. What was she doing? She had arms open for a hug. I elbowed her bosom. Because I was like, I had my elbow and then she was wrapped around me.

You're like a WWE wrestler with a people's elbow. My arm was kind of trapped and stuck up like this, but it was like digging into her chest. We need to come up with a consistent thing that we all know we can do. There was a time there where it was like, everyone just elbows.

That was good. It was a safe time. But now we're in this transition zone, level two to one. I don't know what's happening. They need to announce this with the levels. That's what just happened. They need to come out and go, and level one will now be greeting everyone like this.

Oh, great. Thank you. We could have avoided what happened yesterday. Bloody nightmare. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Heading into a long weekend.

It's a good feeling this weekend. It's Queen's birthday on Monday. Oh, traffic's going to be a nightmare, isn't it? Oh, because everyone will be here, of course. Everyone will be wanting to get away, which is, you know, fair enough. Everyone's been in lockdown. So Queen's birthday, enjoy that. Now, producer Juliet started the show.

We did a bit of a sense of day. They call it in the industry sense of day. We mentioned something that could be on the people's minds, seem relatable of a sense of day. They call it in the industry sense of day. Mentioned something that could be on the people's minds, seemed relatable, that sort of thing. Yeah, that's what we did. Don't pull back the curtain too much, you know. Leave some things a bit of a mystery.

So Producer Juliet was like, oh, you and Ben, you don't deserve to take Monday off. You don't deserve to observe Queen's birthday. No, because the amount of times that I have to teach you guys about the royals and who's who, you didn't even know who Prince Louis was. I didn't know when he happened. Like, oh, he's one of the big deals of the royal family. He's an absolute character.

No one's going to care about Louis. Oh, he's so cute. I know more about Game of Thrones characters than the actual royals. Oh, that's really sad. And that's confusing. See, you guys are working on the hits. You need to know about the royals. You don't know about the royals.

And so I'm like, well, we've got Queen's birthday coming up. You guys should probably just work it. It's a good point, though. It's like the whole, if you don't believe, you need to know about the royals. You don't know about the royals. And so I'm like, well, we've got Queen's birthday coming up. You guys should probably just work it. It's a good point though. It's like the whole if you don't believe you don't receive. Exactly.

So producer Juliette, big royalist, doesn't believe. Well, we have done some research on the Queen who consistently says she looks great for 94. She does.

She does. She looks like an old lady. She's been on the Queen so long, she's seen 14 different prime ministers over her years. That is gulls. Yeah. That's a guy the Queen so long she's seen 14 different Prime Ministers over her years. That is gulls.

Yeah. That's a guy that's hanging in there at a job. So we've looked at some Queen facts to impress you. She sent her first

email in 1976. Did you know that? No, I didn't. First email in 1976 and then first Instagram post in 2019. She was a bit laid off the start line

on that one. Did it impress you? She owned her first house at six years old. Did she? That's impressive. That's the first time she got given a house. I like this one. This is my favourite one. Okay, it does impress you. Oh, she owned her first house at six years old. Did she? That's impressive. Yeah, that's the first time she got given a house. I like this one.

This is my favourite one. So this is what the Queen drinks every day. This is why I'm starting to like the Queen after this. So she, according to her cousin, she takes a gin just before lunch. Just before, like, 11.55. Like, she's in lockdown her whole life. It is.

She'll drink a glass of wine with her meal, followed by a dry martini and a pre-bedtime flute of champagne. I mean, that's boss. Every day. Every day. Amazing. It is like lockdown for the Queen every day. And she's the only person in the United Kingdom

who doesn't require a driver's licence. That is just iconic. That is amazing. Or a passport. Yeah, which after hearing what you've just said, it sounds very hazardous. She's got this drunk old lady. Where's your licence, ma'am? You're like, don't need one. There are photos of her driving

her Range Rover and she's so short she can barely see over the wheel. I'm like, that is probably very dangerous. She's probably just slouched down after all the martini she's had at lunchtime. So there you go. Oh, I'm proud of you. Learning about the royals, even though we don't know much about them. And she owns an elephant, two giant turtles, a jaguar, and a pair of socks.

Do you see why she is incredible? She is the more sophisticated Joe Exotic. Where do those animals live? Are they in a zoo or something? Surely they're not just roaming, bugging the palace around the outside. Ben, you've worked with me for a very long time. Do you think I would have read past the first sentence of that? Sorry, I know not to ask a follow-up question.

Don't follow-up. You know this. Why would you throw me under the bus like this? It makes you more flustered. Because you're my wingman. How dare you ask a follow-up question. Sorry about that follow-up question. I'm sorry, Jono.

I know your hatred for follow-up questions. So we thought because it's Queen's birthday and we know very little about the royal family, but we do like the holiday. 0800 The Hits, have you met the Queen before? Because we have someone that we know who was her personal barista joining us next. But if you have met the Queen, 0800 The Hits.

Now, we did promise that we were going to talk to a guy we know who was the personal barista to the Queen and he joins us on the phone right now. You may even recognise him from Married at First Sight. James Hardy, welcome. God, I know, Ben. How are we getting on? Oh, we're doing well, man. You're in Christchurch, building away?

Yeah, back to business as normal. Rebuilding. I tell you, they've done a great job of rebuilding Christchurch, haven't they? Yeah, it's getting there slowly but surely. Yeah. We learnt something about you when you were doing interviews for Married at First Sight

and we were like, this is the greatest story ever told by a New Zealander. This is even better when Ed Hillary came back from Everest and said, guess what I did? I just climbed that mountain. This is better than that. Yeah, you used to work for the Queen. Yeah, I worked for the Queen.

Actually, I was there when she celebrated, I think it was her 90th birthday. She actually slipped me a wee cupcake for her 90th, which was quite nice of her. But it was certainly an experience that day. Yeah, now, you don't sound like anyone who should have worked for the Queen, which I love. A little bit from Christchurch. Yeah, so how did you, just take us back to the beginning, the resume. What did you say on your resume that got you a job with Her Majesty?

Yeah, well, the resume was a little bit, oh, well, glorified. Yeah, as I imagine a lot of CVs are, right? Words with the royals in Monaco. We'll try not to use the word fake again. That got me in a bit of strife last time. But we'll go with, yeah, glorified CV. And sure enough, talked up the small skills I did have, and then, yeah, just landed the job. And so the role was what?

What were you doing for the Queen? So I was making coffee at Balmoral Castle, which is their holiday residence. Never made a coffee before in my life, so... That's where the glorification came in. Yeah, that's that. Training was provided, and before you know it, three weeks later, I was making a cappuccino for the girl. Oh, the girl.

Well, that's good that Lisa gave you training, so your first cup of coffee wasn't just for the queen. Yeah, nah, yeah, it was, yeah, so it was testing times. I didn't know what she was going to expect when she had that first sip. Does she like a chino? Is that her go-to, is it, or what is it? Yeah, ca I didn't know what she was going to expect when she had that first sip. Does she like a Chino? Is that her go-to, is it? What is it?

Yeah, cappuccino is what she likes. We sprinkle the chocolate on top. Yeah, she's a pretty simple lady, though. Our 22-year-old millennial producer, Juliette, is a huge royalist, and she's nodding her head in agreeance. Great choice with the cappuccinos, Your Majesty. I like that. So did you get to talk to them at all, you know, while you were working there?

Well, I probably got to talk to the Queen the most out of all the royals. I can remember just one day that I was real taken back. I went up to Cheddar Private Golf Course on the estate, and I went to go tee off at the 11th tee and looked to my left, and she was sitting about three metres away, just her and the corgi sitting there. And I had a bit of a chat to her, and sure enough, I'm no golfer, and, yeah, teed it up, been a bit nervous and whatnot,

and, yeah, sure enough, that one went over the fence. Yeah, I was like, you're going to want to shank it into the queen. Because you see her driving around in her car. She's down to earth, humble? Yeah, she's, as I mentioned to you last time, she sort of just comes across as a normal human being. There was nothing sort of, I don't know, what's the word to use, posh sort of kind of about her.

Like, she was a nice lady and just, yeah, down to earth and just got about her business like a normal person and such. So, did you meet Megan? Was Megan in the fold at this point? Well, she was in the fold, but no, we never crossed paths. Yeah, right. She was never invited, I see. Never invited to the Queen's place. Nah, not to the holiday home. She hasn't

quite got there yet. So did you live at the residence and just sort of be on call until the Queen or whoever came to stay? Yeah, so there was obviously the big castle where she lived in, and then there was sort of a bit of a wing off the castle that all the staff lived in. And, yeah, there was that many staff sort of working around the castle.

There was always someone that was keen on a coffee or two. So, yeah, sort of just hang by and make the old coffee here and there. And, yeah, when she'd come, she'd come once. Wow. And so it feels like if the royals were needing to trim any fat, like the cappuccino maker, like surely the cappuccino maker should be doing other stuff on the estate as well. What do you do?

I just make cappuccinos. Can you sweep the driveway? No, no, I just do cappuccinos. I don't know. I don't think they're short of a dollar, though. No, true. And so that's all you were required to do, make coffees and cappuccinos? Mate, yeah, pretty much.

I just stood by the coffee machine and fired away when I was needed. Prince Philip, he's wandering around looking like, just end me now. He's at that stage of life. I imagine he would have been a character. I've got some stories about him, but yeah, they're not for morning radio. Are they for afternoon radio? Because we can record it and play it in the afternoon.

I don't know if they're for radio at all. They're for after 8.30 at night, I think. Yeah, it was Finn Metzger's

words, I could put it that way. No, he seems like someone who spades a spade with Prince Philip. Yeah, he's an absolute character,

he is. But yeah, get on well with the likes of ourselves. What about Harry? William? You meet them? I met William,

yeah. But yeah, he was, I shouldn't say boring, but he was pretty plain Jane, old William. Yeah, no, you said he was boring. And then you backed it up saying he was plain Jane. So you almost doubled down on the fact that... He didn't bring much to the party. Maybe he didn't like

coffee banter with the coffee guy. Alright, there you go. Hey, listen, James, thank you so much for your time. Hey, no problem. Cheers for sharing that story again. And you look after yourself, buddy. All right, there you go. Hey, listen, James, thank you so much for your time. Hey, no problem. Cheers for sharing that story again. And you look after yourself, buddy. Good to hear from you. Yeah.

Hey, cheers. Thanks for having me on, guys. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Buy the WhatsApp by doco.nz. Producer Juju's joined us. She's wearing a brand new top that she left in her flat during lockdown. Hasn't been able to retrieve it again.

Has got it. And what's the problem with it? It's got these holes in the sleeves. The moths have got into it. And mum reckons the moths have got into it. And I'm like, do moths even bite through merino? Is that a thing? Take it back to the shop. Is it moth balls? Is it the thing they talk about, eh? Oh, I don't know. But I'm really sad. My dad came up with a voice who's always got a great

joke about moth balls. He's like, if I had a moth ball in this hand and a mothball in this hand, what would I have? A very large moth. That's what he says. What? Because it's got a very large... It didn't end up where I thought it was going to end up.

No, it's a typical dad joke. It's a flimflam. Yeah. Classic flimflam. All right, Juju, what's happening in Spy, mate? In Spy, so Betty White over lockdown, she's just honestly been doing what I should have been doing the whole time. She has been getting amongst the...

What, putting a damp ridge in your closet? She has been getting amongst the vodka martinis, hot dogs and fries. So what she'll do is she sits in her rocking chair. She's aged 98, by the way. She's 98? She's 98 and drinks vodka and watches game shows. Isn't that just a dream?

She's called Betty White. You remember how she was... She's just doing what every 98-year-old does, just sitting there waiting for the end. She was on Air New Zealand out a few years ago, wasn't she? And Golden Girls, a very funny lady, yeah. Yeah, she does a lot of... She's like the queen of cameos now, isn't it?

She pops up in a movie and she's like, Oh, it's Betty White. Well, she probably can't come back long-term to... I mean, she's not going to sign on for the next three Avatar movies, is she? No, not quite. For more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, what should you be posting online and what things can go wrong if you're not careful? Well, we're joined on the phone by a former Kiwi cop turned private investigator, Julia Robertson. Thanks very much for your time. Thanks for having me. Now, you've got a new podcast called Chasing

Charlie. Now, Chasing Charlie is something Ben does every Friday night. Let's not start with that. He's always like, oh, I need Charlie. I don't know what he's on about. Julia's better than this. I'm better than this. Anyway, Julia. Julia, what do you want to say to Ben? He can't find Charlie. Obviously, you did.

Explain, explain, sorry about John, explain about your podcast Chasing Charlie, what's it all about? Yeah, so let me tell you the real story. Thank you, thank you Julia. It's about a Kiwi born conman who manipulates my client out of money and

sex. I then take on a mission to uncover his real identity, track him around the world and get some justice for his victims. This is a true story. This is something that sounds like it happened in a Hollywood movie. So the guy posted an ad on Craigslist, I understand, saying, millionaire seeking the company of a woman, basically.

Is this where it starts? Well, that's where it starts for me. That's how I get involved. So my client answered one of his ads. But it goes far beyond that. So it's working out all the scams he did to reach that point where he went on to Craigslist and also what he did after the fact. So we're doing a real deep dive into his background.

And so what's he done to, obviously your client wasn't his only victim, what's he done to these people over years? Well, he actually made his first media debut in Fairgo in New Zealand back in the early 2000s. So he was ripping people off, taking money for furniture and so forth and just not delivering the product. He then went on to become Trade Me's worst online seller. So again, taking deposits. Then a warrant was issued for his arrest in New Zealand and he just went around the world destroying the lives of anyone he could come into contact with,

both professionally and obviously in his relationships as well. So how did you get brought into it? Like obviously someone was involved and wanted you to investigate? Well, when I worked out that this guy was a Kiwi, I'm a really proud Kiwi, so even though I do live in Australia, and I was just incensed that this guy was causing all this much trouble and destruction and he shared the same national identity as me

so I thought I'd do something about it. And so how much money did this guy con out of people over over your investigation? Well this is the thing no one can ever really be too sure he kept the amount of the scam so the monetary level pretty low but the number of victims incredibly high so I really have no idea the true figure or the amount of victims that are around the world. So how was it, so he would get into a relationship with someone and then slowly bleed money from them some way? Yeah, so in my instance with Vivian he would set challenges. So he's actually into BDSM

and other things that she talks about about her personal life. But in amongst that, he'd say, look, I'll invest the money for you, but we'll include this in part of our sex life. So I'm going to set a challenge. You have to get $10,000 by the end of the day. And if you don't get it, then I'll punish you.

We go into a bit more detail in the podcast. Right. So it's quite sadistic behaviour. This is Charlie. He's been scamming his whole life. Julie, what's the difference between what you do

and, say, stalking? That's a lot. Thank you very much. There's a hard-hitting question. Yeah, that's a bad one. I didn't mean that in an offensive way. I was just saying

it sounded offensive. Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean that. You basically called her a stalker. Look, I'm very proud of what I do. There, it sounded offensive. Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean that. You basically called her a stalker. Look, I'm very proud of what I do. There is a big difference. First of all, I'm a professional.

I'm a licensed private investigator and I also work within the laws and there is a big difference between private investigation and stalking. Does that satisfy your question, Ben? She's got a license. And so, do you spend a lot of time sitting in your car, eating Dunkin' Donuts

and watching people? Like in the movies, you know, they're always doing a stakeout, they're drinking service station coffee, they're sitting there having a, you know, that sort of thing. Well, Steve, funnily enough, in the podcast I actually talk about what I do as a private investigator because there are a lot of misconceptions, and that is probably the biggest one. That you're not a high consumer of donuts? Correct. Okay. Well, glad we cleared that up.

So we've figured out you're not a stalker. Okay, there. Are cheating partners, are they the most common reason that people would get in touch with you, or does it just vary? Well, look, I don't do a lot of infidelity jobs. It's a special type of investigator that can take on those jobs. The reason why you're dealing with highly emotional clients. And if you do an amazing job, you're essentially confirming cheating. And sometimes that's not so satisfying.

So I like to take on different jobs. Obviously, my experience is more aligned towards online investigations, so working out who anonymous people are, operating online, revealing their true identity. You would say nine times out of ten, if someone's got an inkling and they're going to the lengths of hiring a private investigator to see if their partner is cheating, nine times out of ten it would be the fact, right?

Most of the time, yes. You've got to take out the emotional side of it and a lot of people, like I said before, it's a highly emotional situation that people find themselves in. A lot of the time these people are being gaslighted by their partners so they're being convinced that nothing's happening and they really need that third party to try and get them that evidence that they basically already know, they just need that reassurance. What's a surefire sign someone's being shifty?

Is it a gut feeling for some people to go, I feel like there's something wrong here and that leads to more investigation? Oh look, absolutely. I think with the job that I take on, there's an element of the online world. So I always talk about digital footprints. Are they who they say they are? Can you confirm any kind of background? Obviously, in the online world, are they asking for money up front?

But then when you're going that one step further and meeting people in real life, are there times that are unaccounted for? Are they, in instances of infidelity, are they leaving their phone unattended? If they're not, if they're always with their phone in their possession, then of course there are some really obvious red flags there. We've got Julia Robson with us, private investigator.

Julia, I've been playing a lot of Cluedo over lockdown. I reckon I've got quite good at it. How good are you at Cluedo? And one day, would you like a game? Me versus you. Private Investigator versus average human being. I'd love a game. Thank you for asking.

That's so nice. Was this the first interview when you've been asked to play Cluedo? No, I just thought Private Investigator would be quite a good challenge in Cluedo. There's been a lot of firsts in this interview, I do think. You've been called a stalker. You've been asked to play Cluedo. I don't know what was the difference. Yeah, it's been a lot of firsts in this interview. You've been called a stalker. You've been asked to play Cluedo. What was the difference? It's been a rollercoaster.

It's been a bloody rollercoaster. What's the easiest way to find out something about someone in your job? Is it through social media? Is that where you'd start if you were investigating someone? I'd always start online. So just a simple search engine, seeing what pops up there, then social media, of course. Do you go onto the dark web? Have you been onto the dark web a bit?

Look, it's not that hard to get down there. You have, there's some crazy stuff on there, eh? Well, how often are you down there? She's actually probably part of a job, I recall. I shouldn't say this to a private investigator. But what I will tell you is my new kidneys are doing me the world of good. Oh, jeez, this is the first and only time we get Julia on our show. That game of Cluedo's off now. Because that's the thing.

I mean, people are blindly just putting out so much information about themselves on the internet, right? Is there something that we should be doing or not doing as far as that goes? Is there one thing you recommend to everyone listening right now if they've got Instagram, they've got Facebook, those sorts of things that they should not be doing? Well, I mean, the first thing that they should be doing is checking their privacy settings. And a lot of these social media sites are wonderful. It's very easy to do this, but I just don't think people are doing that enough.

And they may not realise that some of the information that they're intending to keep private has been set to public. Right. Could you launch an investigation into how much money Ben's making off his Instagram account? He's got hashtag... I want to know the numbers, Julia. I might hire you after this. Get a spreadsheet going.

No problem. I'm very transparent, Julia. You can look into that. He's always pointing at some products and smiling. Julia Robson, the podcast sounds amazing. Check it out right now. It's called Chasing Charlie. Thank you for putting up with our weird questions from time to time and also talking to us

today. You're very welcome. Thank you. We'll do this again. Kia ora. I'm Simon Bound and I host Business is Boring, a podcast that reckons it's anything but. Join me each week as I chat with some of the most interesting and inspirational players in the Aotearoa business scene and learn what it takes to make it happen

from accidental entrepreneurs to the brains behind some of the country's biggest brands. If you're into business or want to be, then make sure you follow Business is Boring wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network in partnership with Spark Lab. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, New Zealand, just 22 active cases of coronavirus in the country. Open the borders.

Open the borders to everyone. That's what everyone's saying. The Italians let them flood in. That's what not everyone's saying. That's what a lot of the politicians are saying. Winston's saying open the borders, which I find interesting. Because he's, you know, he's playing on the team red, isn't he? Meant to be.

Yeah, yeah. Meant to be. But obviously, I think he just wants to open them up to Australia. Yes, I think that's what they're saying. He's not like... Get it done sooner rather than later. He's not like, let's get a bloody 747 in from Brazil or anything crazy like that.

Now, a lot of things were obviously cancelled because of COVID-19. Alanis Morissette concert, which was due in April, has now been rescheduled. I heard in the weekend on the hits, November 21st this year, and they played this song when they talked about it. It's like rain. Great song. Ironic.

All the ironic things that made me think of the most ironic thing always reminds me of this song. So my friend's dad, when we were growing up, he was a fireman, which was great when we were teenagers because you'd go around to his house and he'd be like, I've got to work, I've got to go stay at the fire station. You're like, oh, great. Oh, I've got the house to yourself. Yes, as teenagers.

Oh, what shenanigans did you get up to as a teenager? Not much, not much. You did. Tell me the shenanigans. That's a story for another day. No, but it's great. Okay, what day? You say this a lot,

and I need to book him the day in the calendar. I'll put it in. Your story for another day. Oh, let's say 2024. 2024? Yeah, okay. What day on 2024? I'm okay, what day in 2024? I'm going to schedule it in.

You don't just get away with saying that story for another day. On this day in 2024, May 27. How does that sound? Hold on to this audio producer, Julian. You'll probably be working for News Talk ZB or something by then. You won't be working for us. But my friend's dad was a fireman, and he was working at the fire station one time.

This is his legendary story. And, you know, because they was working at the fire station one time. This is his legendary story and you know, because they stay overnight at the fire department and they have a little kitchen, they have a little area, a little lounge they sort of hang out in

and he put on his dinner and then he sat down on the couch and he was quite tired and fell asleep and woke up, flames, the fire station

was on fire. A fireman starting a fire in the fire station is like the ultimate ironic story. And it was like, yeah. Well, it couldn't be a more convenient location. You've got all the utensils you need to sort that problem out. You're right. It wasn't. It didn't like, the whole building didn't catch a light.

Because you're right. They had the fire trucks, they had hoses and all that sort of stuff. Oh, he would have been the bloody butt of the jokes at the next firefighters conference. Oh, mate, I'm there, buddy, yeah. So it was such a good story. And what were you getting up to while he was there? That's for 2024. Oh, 2024, sorry.

That's for another day. Nothing worse than watching Responsible Things. Mate, we're responsibles. Responsibles? We're your responsibles. I can't even say responsible. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads.

So joined now by Annalise who texted us earlier on the show, 4487. Love to get your texts and calls on New Zealand's Breakfast. Now, Annalise, little bit of a problem. This is quite a conundrum that you find yourself in, Annalise. What's happening? Yeah, so during lockdown, you know, obviously you can't really pop to the supermarket whenever you want. So I thought I'd do an online shop.

And, you know, it's not good doing it on your iPad. So I asked my partner if I could use his laptop because, you know, that would be way easier. And he just got really shifty about it and was like, no, no, no, no, just use your iPad, just use your iPad. And even resorted, like, saying, look, I'll just go to the shops, I'll just go to the shops. So it just makes me think something's going on.

Yeah, I know what's going on. He doesn't trust the delivery service, which is fair enough. This is a legitimate excuse. You know, you never know if the food's going to arrive fresh. You don't know. You're waiting around all day for the truck to turn up. I can see why he doesn't want you online shopping. Yeah, maybe that's his reason. Yeah, no, I don't

know. He just got really funny, like almost like a bit angry and just really like... Oh, nothing more frustrating than waiting all day for a truck to turn up. I can see why he's getting cagey and dodgy. So you think there might be something on there that he doesn't want you to see?

That's what you're thinking? Yeah, 100%. Like I'm just, I keep thinking about it and the more I analyse it, the more I think there's something there that he doesn't want me to see. Do you know his password? You could just wake up and bloody have a cheeky rummage. I keep thinking about it, and the more I analyse it, the more I think there's something there that he doesn't want me to say. Do you know his password?

You could just wake up and bloody have a cheeky rummage. No, he's changed that too. Ooh. Now, why didn't you just tell him to do what Ben does and get a burner phone from the petrol station? I don't. I don't. I don't know what's going on. I can understand.

It's one of those things, though. I don't feel like I've got anything to hide but when I do, it's still your own personal space. Your laptop and your phone is still your,

I get a bit anxious if other people have it or you know, and I also get anxious if I see other people's phones and they're quite low on battery I want to plug them in sometimes.

There's a lot of stuff that makes Ben quite anxious. I just plug them in and I'm like, oh that phone's low, got to plug that in. But it is, I guess it's your personal, it's like saying, that phone's low. Got to plug that in. But it is, I guess it's your personal,

it's like saying, well, have a look through my underpant drawer, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Well, it's nothing like that actually, to be honest. No, but it's kind of

as a personal space that you kind of feel that it's your thing. So I guess this is the question that we want to pose because we can't agree on this in the studio. If your partner asks you

to have a look at your device, do you have to let them? And it doesn't necessarily mean anything dodgy is going on, I don't think. Because I don't think if I said to you, hey, Ben, can I go on your computer for an hour? I don't think you would let me. You would never let me. I never thought of that.

I think we had to hand each other phones once and all the stuff you got up to. Jeez, I was promoting this and doing that, and I'm like, oh, God. So, yeah, 0800-THE-HITS-4487. Annalise, we will come up with a solution for you. There might be nothing to worry about. Oh, I hope not.

Producer Juliet, what do you reckon? It's a tough one because the bad side of me would just be like, oh, just steal the laptop and go through it anyway. But I feel like that would cause a whole lot of issues. Well, it's hard to come back from that one if you discover something. Yes, exactly, exactly. Well, then, because then you're like,

well, how did you discover it? Oh, well, everybody got geeks on wheels over here. We cracked your password and I got in. Yeah, no, it's a tough one. You find yourself in Annalise. Okay, we'll get some calls and texts on. Nick, thank you so much. Nick.

We'll get some calls and texts on and thank you so much for listening and have a great day. Thank you. All the best. All right, if you want to much for listening, and have a great day. Thank you. All the best. All right, if you want to help out Annalise, you can give us a call. 0800-THE-HITS or text us, 4487. Parmy North, Mike, you're on New Zealand's Breakfast, mate.

How are you? I'm good, mate. How are you? Oh, we're doing well, buddy. It's a pleasure to have you listening to the show, mate. What are your thoughts on this? Well, being a male, I would say that he is not doing anything quote-unquote dodgy i would say he's looking at sites that require you to be 18 years of age or older that may require a credit

card to look at yeah you're like the share market and stuff maybe online liquor purchases i know you're talking about we're picking up where you put them down. You got the liquor part right now. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, bye. Mate, this is meant to be family-friendly fun. For three years. Like you said, you know, bourbon, whiskey.

Yeah, all your favourite liquors. Thank you, Mike. Caller of the day. Catherine, you're on from Christchurch. Do you need to let your partner look at your device, if they ask, Catherine? What do you reckon? Well, yes and no. It's a hard one.

From personal experience, I have looked at my husband's device when I was feeling insecure and stuff, and really there was absolutely nothing on there except for, I don't know, the odd nudie photo from Pornhub, which didn't really bother me. But at the end of the day, our devices can have our deepest, darkest secrets on there from our worst days when we have been highly pissed off with them. And we message our friends and say what they've done and how pissed off we are and all the rest of it. Right. So, and that might have been three years ago, and you know that when your partner's having a look at your device that they cannot get through that temptation, and they will look. Yeah, right.

And you don't want them to see something. You feel like you have to explain everything they see, every single person that you may have messaged. You want to explain who they are, and the more you explain, the more suspicious you'll are. Yeah, right. Less explaining, less suspicious. That's a great lesson.

Hey, thank you for your call. Appreciate that. But a good message for Annalise too, that you're not necessarily going to find anything from Catherine. Catherine had a look, didn't find anything. Some great texts coming through here on 4487. Unless you know it feels too good afterwards if you have a look and then you find nothing because you'd be like,

oh, I always feel like you've done something wrong. Yeah, someone's texting, no way in a relationship should you have to be on your partner's phone. You should be able to trust the other person. And if it's not straight insecurity, I think, it's also just insulting to ask them. I got suspicious, another text reads, at the time my ex had a briefcase with number locks on it.

I made sure to note what the numbers were. I hope he was an international spy or an international man of mystery or something. I don't think he was if I continue reading. And so I cracked into his briefcase, picked the lock. Inside there were photos, a receipt for an engagement ring, and his diary. They weren't for me. Wow. So there we go.

Who carries a briefcase nowadays? The Wolf of Wall Street. Thank you for your texts and calls this morning. Very interesting, that one. And hopefully Annalisa gets us all sorted out soon. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. We are up and scrolling through your feed, basically telling you the things that have happened over the last 24 hours. What we do is we just read the first two lines from stories on the internet and then lightly dust over them and move on, Ben. So the country's slowly returning to normal right now, and it's very interesting.

Producer Ben, Ben Humphrey, your partner flew this morning. Yeah, last night. Last night, yeah, the last flight out of Auckland last night. And when she checked in to go get her boarding pass, she received a little bag and inside was a face mask and it was compulsory that you had to wear the face mask on the plane, a little antibacterial wipe and a Tim Tam biscuit. Oh, that's a way.

I don't know how you eat the Tim Tam biscuit with the face mask on. That's what I wonder, eh? When you have the face mask on, there's moments you have to pull it down to eat or drink, right? Yeah, I didn't actually ask her that. I suppose there's probably no meals on the plane, maybe? At the moment, no, I think you're right. Would that be a concern about spreading the disease? She was only going down the road, so...

Oh, right. To get a Tim Tam, that's a huge win. Yeah. Huge win. Oh, that's interesting. You know, the Corrie Lounge, they're not doing booze now. Just soft drinks, they said. I was reading in an article yesterday.

Oh, right. You know, I was a Corrie member. I was on air points. I'd have to take this bloody riff-raff in with me. He'd be my plus one every time. Yeah, I didn't get one because I just travelled with you. And then every time he'd swipe his ticket, it would go bang, bang. Yeah, it's quite degrading.

And I'd have a conversation with the lady. I was like, should we let him in? I don't know. He sounds like trouble here. He's going to get plastered would go bang, bang. Yeah, it's quite degrading. And I was going to have a conversation with the lady. I was like, should we let him in? I don't know. He sounds like trouble here. He's going to get plastered and fly to Timaru. So that's what's happening

if you're flying at the moment. Also yesterday on the show, Jono, you talked about how you injured yourself on the lamest way. So I gave it a bash and I injured myself. But I didn't even get

on the zip line. What did you do? I twisted my ankle climbing up the tree. No. Yes. It was a homemade zip line that the kids in the street had made between two trees. Yeah, I didn't even get to enjoy it. I twisted my ankle.

So I was thinking that was pretty lame until I heard Horsley, international pop star, talking on Roman Kemp's show, which is a British radio show over there. And this is what happened to her. I was loading the dishwasher, and I pulled the door down, and the kitchen floor was wet, and I tripped over the dishwasher door, and after 2,000 live shows where I'm jumping around for two hours, I finally fractured my ankle in the kitchen at my house.

Who's worse? Halsey, Isey I'd say was worse than mine. Lamer. She fractured her. A lamer. A lamer. A lamer injury.

She might have involved a tree and some climbing, some activity. You could say zip lining. Yeah. At least it sounds that way. They're saying dishwashing is,

yeah, but producer Heidi, welcome, welcome to the microphone. Hi, who told you this? We told you, you might have a worse injury than, a lamer injury than Halsey.

Yeah, it's really lame. Is it you, Juliet? Because I asked her before. I was like, oh, hey, can you talk about when you injured your finger? And you just rolled your eyes. I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, I was literally just unscrewing the NutriBullet and I snapped my finger in half and broke it.

Snapped it? Yeah, it was broken. What? Just by screwing the thing onto the Nutribullet. Just unscrewing. Oh, unscrewing the Nutribullet. There we go. It was a bit jammed, in my defence.

And it just, what, did you hear a crack or what? Yeah, it just popped out and snapped. Still, I think you've got a bit more credibility than a dishwasher injury. At least a Nutribullet's like blades and, you know, you can injure your finger by putting it in the middle of the thing with the blades. No one knows. No one needs to know the details, Heidi. Okay, okay, good.

Well, there you go. The latest injuries this morning. That was fun. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. What's that? Oh, no. Shut up.

Now what? Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening. It is our rude awakening where we rudely wake people up, just as the name suggests, because it is early in the morning. And if you want to nominate someone, 0800 the hits. If you wake them up, they could win some hell pizza for their troubles. It's a mild invasion of privacy, but it's for the radio, so it's okay. Now, Ben, I said that I'd like to provide a fun sleep fact every day this week.

Did you know giraffes only sleep for two hours a day? Oh, do they? They only need two hours sleep a day. Do they ever sit down, giraffes? Have you ever seen a giraffe, you know, just chilling, just relaxing? No, you're right. Another thing is sleeping, they must be standing as well. Oh, I'd hate to be a giraffe.

Just so tall and inconvenient. Yeah, such a long neck. Such a long neck. And then you're like, oh, and I'm awake for 22 hours a day? Oh, God. Just standing there? Yeah, while everyone else is asleep through the night. Like a giant skyscraper?

Poor giraffes. Shout out to all the giraffes listening. We've got Leon on the phone from Auckland. Welcome to the show, Leon. Morning. Good to have more in it to you. What are you doing in Auckland, Leon? I'm just a manager for a sales team. Back in the office?

Yeah, back in the office, alright. How are you waking up this morning, Leon? My wife, Kirsty. Okay, what does Kirsty do? She's in a similar role, but more admin. Okay, right. Does she have any reason to be up at this hour? Not at all. Not at all. Well, now she does. That reason, $40 worth of hell pizza. Hello, Kirsty speaking. Kirsty. Hello. Kirsty, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits. How

are you going? You're on the radio. Leon's here. He's on his way to work. Ben's here. He's looking great. Of course. Yeah, what's up, John? I'm looking shocking, as always. I've set the bar very low. You're in the middle of a radio quiz.

Four questions. You can win yourself some Hell Pizza. Here's your first question. They're multi-choice and they're very easy. I'll give you that. Kanye West is married to who? A, Jeans West, B, Kim Kardashian West, or C, the Briscoe's Lady? I'm going to take a wild guess at Kim Kardashian.

That's $10 worth of hell pizza. Your next question. Sylvanian families are what? An adorable range of distinctive animal characters with charming and beautiful homes, furniture and accessories. B, a group of travellers who live in caravans in the UK. First one. First one, yeah. Hey, I was looking at my daughter's Sylvania family. Right.

I'm getting really desperate for questions. I just look at things. You got so deep in that one, too. Kevin Hart is a successful... Oh, sorry. Kevin who is a successful actor and comedian? A. Hang on.

Kevin Hart? And Gerard Zucursi is? Kevin Hart? You're right. I've heard a ton. I see the guy do that on the chase. No, I don't. Oh, hang on.

I'm giving you that. Bradley Walsh, give me a heads up there. Whangarei. It's early morning. It's early morning. We haven't went to it. The one's awake, but anyway. Whangarei is located where?

A, Northland, B, Southland, or C, a special place in all of our hearts? That's A. That's A. Northland, well done. $40 hell pizza coming your way for your troubles. Mate? Now say something nice to your partner, Leon. I need a minute to think about something.

Okay, okay. Early morning, as I said, he is the kindest best man alive. The kindest best man alive. That's lovely. That's lovely. And you say something nice back, Leon. This is great stuff. Oh, yeah.

He's like marriage counselling. That's like marriage counselling. Name three things you love about Kirsty. Why are you making them do this? You just made them play a quiz game. All right, I'm going to fade out of this one, all right? Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Just thought-provoking stuff moments ago. I was quite thought-provoking. I called out all of the old philosophers, the Aristotle's, the Socrates, the Plato's, saying that, you know, everyone's like they're geniuses, but back in the day they had nothing else to do apart from get good at what they were learning.

You know, whereas 2020... They're very smart people. We've got distractions all around us, 2020. But we're like, who is going to be the philosopher of our time that in a hundred years, everyone's going to be like, oh, man, Kanye West. The problem is that nowadays we have all the bullying on social media and stuff.

Like if Socrates or whatever put out something on Instagram, everyone would go, oh, shut up, mate. Yeah, you're a dickhead, Socrates. You know, and he would have probably gone to his shell and turned off his comments. Sellout, fake, hashtag ad.

Yeah. And then producer Heidi was like, oh, maybe Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. I mean, he's got some great stuff. Socrates, Splatter, Joe Rogan, Kanye West. But you never know. You don't know.

Because I think they were probably considered lunatics back in their day. Everyone's like, shut up, Socrates, you idiot, you know? But then they were visionaries. Text us through on 4487 if you've got any one that we haven't thought of for that. I like Joe Rogan. Yeah, me too. I'm into that. Hey, Michael Jordan is on Netflix at the moment

and producer Juliette, you'll know that because Ben and me are boring to death talking about the Chicago Bulls documentary. Yeah, the last dance is on there and we want to talk about it every day and producer Juliette's like, shut up. I just zone out. Do you know we went out to lunch the other day

for a work meeting and the other guy there had seen it and oh, we had a great chat. Even my flatmate talked about it and I'm like, I'm just going to go upstairs. It's so good to talk to someone that cares. This documentary is just burdening your life and you've never seen it. That's how I feel about you guys

with the Royals. I can't. You guys don't care. But Jordan in it, he's quite an emotional guy. I didn't realise his dad was murdered. Yeah, yeah. Really horrible thing that happened while he was playing, you know. Anyway, he cries quite a lot and I was talking to a friend about it

and I was like, oh, I didn't realise Jordan cried quite a lot and he's like, you know, I can't remember the last time I cried. Couldn't remember?

No, he said he cried as a child. Yeah. But he can't, he can't. Well, not even like at a wedding or a funeral or a movie or something?

Not after the age of 10 this guy has not cried and he's now early 30s. Wow. He has no soul. Yeah. I'm a crier. You are?

Oh, jeez, I'm crying. Oh, mate, my tears could solve the water shortage. I've cried so much. That's fine. I like that about you. No, you always say that, but then you're like, he says it condescendingly. I like that about you that you cry.

I do. I think it's good. It shows a side effect. Because you wouldn't say it. You put up these walls, Jono, you always say that, but then you're like, he says it condescendingly. He's like, I like that about you that you cry. I do. I think it's good. It shows a side. Because you wouldn't say it. You put up these walls, Jono, you know? And you're not always like that. The worst was a leaving speech from a former co-host who I used to work with at The Rock called Robert Taylor, who was a lovely man. Anyway, I hadn't prepared anything.

And so the boss, Brad, was like, okay, over to you, mate, for a speech. And I just went. And everyone was like, is he taking the piss? Is this Jotto's way to get out of a speech? But I said, when you get into the hyperventilating sobbing stage, like I needed a Ventolin. Got quite uncomfortable. It did.

And then I just ran out of the room and had to sit in the cupboard. By yourself. Composing. Give yourself a pep talk. And I mean, if you're going to cry anywhere, the rock is the worst place. The only thing you should cry is tears of Cody's. You end up with burnouts

on your face or something. I'm a sucker for a Pixar movie. Oh, you do cry through movies. Toy Story, Up, you know, any of those movies, I just eyeball. And the other thing

I always find myself crying at is every year when you go buy the kids' birthday cards, I'm like standing in Whitcalls and I read them. They're always lovely cards about kids. I'm like I'm standing in Whitcalls, same as you.

Oh God, I'm crying in the middle of Whitcalls. Pull yourself together. No, no, because you read it, you think about your kids and you're like, oh, and they're growing up and it's one of those moments I'm like, oh my God, I've embarrassed myself in Whitcalls. What was the movie you were saying you cried through? Busty Brazilians 4. Oh yeah, that was an emotional movie, though.

She just wanted to dance and she couldn't. You didn't cry through volumes one through three? No, it wasn't. Number four got you. Number four really got me. All the feels in that one. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jodo and Ben on the hits.

I was just reading there in Japan, when tourism is allowed again, they might basically pay you to go there. Half of your fees may be paid, thanks to the Japanese Tourism Board, just to get the economy going and get to people over there. That is genius. What, they'll pay for your hotel or something? Well, it's basically half of your stuff.

They're looking at this plan that would pay half some people's holidays. That is so smart. Yeah, you're like, oh, go there. It'll cost me half of what I would normally pay and they'll pay the rest. Hey, genius. Go to the jail. You've been to Japan. You had a wonderful time, didn't you? You used a toilet that blew the bits out of you. I mean, they've got some amazing things over there and I feel

like such a key. We come back, oh, the toilet. Oh, look at the toilets. The toilets spray everything. But I mean, the warm seats, heated things, like privacy noises that go, you know, like privacy noises that go, you know, like the water, oh,

just wow. They've got like a smoke screen noise. Oh yeah, if you go for privacy and it'll have, like a sort of background noise, sort of white noise

sort of thing as well. But then, when you play that, everyone knows what's going on. You're hitting all the buttons. Oh, he's got the white noise

going again. I remember going in there and recording myself for the radio as my family stood outside going, what is he doing? I'm like, I'm on the bathroom. They're like, what were you doing in there? So I even made it weirder. So anyway. But there's more than just toilets there, I'm sure.

No, it's the most amazing place I've been to, actually. But right now, synchronise answering. Synchronise answers. Very simple game. Producer Juliet throws the topic to Ben and myself, and we answering. Synchronise answers. Very simple game. Producer Juliet throws the topic to Ben and myself and we have to get

the same answer at the same time and we've done it a couple of times. We never thought we'd be able to do this right? No and jeez we'd be great

in a police investigation wouldn't we? We would not falter. You could separate us into different rooms and our story would stay the same. So Shirley's on the phone

from Huntley. Welcome Shirley. Morena. Morena, morena. Morena to you. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. How's the bloody decker sign? Still standing, brother. Still standing.

How's your bloody local references? I do love the decker sign for Huntley. It's one of my favourite things. And I killed that chat. All right. That's as much chat as you can have about the Dekaside. What are your top three favourite things about Huntly? The Dekaside number one.

I like the Dekaside. I like the top twins. There's a mural there of the top twins. And I like the fact that we met a guy who was on the drink driving ads in Huntly, and he parked his car in the middle of the street, got out, and came and had a chat to us. His car was sort of like... It was holding up traffic. Yeah, he just got car in the middle of the street, got out and came and had a chat to us. That's right. His car's sort of like...

He was holding up traffic. Yeah, he just got out in the middle of the street and his car was parked. Oh my goodness. So I like that about Huntley and no one really cared either. Very friendly people here in Huntley.

Oh, it's a beautiful place, Shirley and you're a beautiful lady. So well done. You've won a double pass to the movies, the Reading Cinemas. You can go along there. But Ben and myself have a chance to steal those tickets off you

if we synchronise our answers. Producer Juliet, the first topic. All right, I want you to name for me a currency. Yen. We were just talking about Japan. Japan. That's how it was in my head. Oh, Shirley.

It's over. Japan. That's how it was in my head. Oh, Shirley. Oh. Oh. It's over. Shirley. Listen, you know what? I feel bad taking the tickets off you. We're going to send you to the movies anyway. Awesome, brother.

Thank you very much. We can't plan this. We don't know. My wife watched the video the other day. She's like, do you plan this game? I was like, no, we don't. We don't know what producer you need to ask us. I was like, oh, Japan. Yeah, that's producer do you need to go ask us I was like oh Japan

yeah that's all I wasn't smart enough to think of another one in three seconds so I stuck with that oh there we go that was surely lovely talking to you

have a wonderful day thanks for listening thank you you guys too bye have a great day nothing gets me more excited than that game I'm up and down

it's just pacing you know for the action that's been completed and our reaction, it's really not, it's out of sync. You're talking about that Michael Jordan documentary. It's like hitting the game-winning shot for us, isn't it?

Not a morning person? Sadly, neither are these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy, the WhatsApp by doco.nz. Here's our mate, producer Juju. Yeah, boy. There's nothing that gets this woman out of bed more in the morning than some celebrity gossip.

What have we got, mate? So, Avatar is being filmed in New Zealand, obviously, but it is the reason that a bunch of foreigners from all over the world slipped through our borders during lockdown. So there was special... He's saying, like, what's the Peters here right now? We let the foreigners in?

I told him. Not like that. Immigration. New Zealand people and New Zealand jobs and that's what I voted for. But that's the reason and who knew that people were,

I mean, that they were coming in. They had to get special dispensation from the tourism, the foreign affairs person who said, yeah, okay, you're coming in, you've got to quarantine

and all that sort of stuff. So it was allowed under them getting approval. But people were arriving all the time, weren't they, from overseas? They were just locked in a motel room for two weeks. Yes, but then there was a little period that they didn't have anyone arrive, I think.

Yeah, there was one day, it was like the first day since the 60s or something that no one had left or arrived in the country. First day since the 60s? Yeah. Jeez. I know.

That no planes had... No planes had left or internationally left or arrived into New Zealand James Cameron The director of Avatar Amazing man Oh yeah He's really good

He's a really tough director That's what they say as well Really Yeah he's a hard ass He's up at like 2.30 in the morning Works hard Works everyone hard

And he makes some amazing movies Obviously Titanic Avatar Some of them Terminator as well He's got some great hits A friend of mine was working on

one of his movies and he, in a fit of rage, this is the rumour, pushed a coffee cart down four flights of stairs. James Cameron did? James Cameron.

Oh my word. I don't know what had happened. I like to think that James Cameron didn't enjoy his flat white or maybe they'd put full bodied milk in when he was lactose intolerant or something.

Or an ex is drinking a coffee in the middle of Avatar or something. Yeah, they just kicked the coffee cup. Oh, my word. There were three employees inside the coffee cup. We never heard from them again. To make CGI versions of them. Yeah, yeah, no. But he's, and fair play to him, he's put so much money

back into our country. Yeah, he's got a house in New Zealand, right? Huge farm, huge estate and he's all about environmental, that's crap, you know? And he'll probably be

there for a while because the next four Avatar films are being made in New Zealand. And imagine how much money that's bringing into the economy. Yeah, exactly.

And jobs that's creating. Hey, Juliet, now should we have let them in? Yes! For more spa, you can head to the hits.co.nz.

Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Mate, we're grossly over time for news at nine o'clock. Okay, stressing out

poor Juliette. You're rambling too much. Before we get to that, OMG I Want One is back. Oh my God, I Want One. This time we handed the prize powers over to you.

The top ten prizes that you guys decided on are awesome. You can check them all out right now at the hitstockco.nz. And from Tuesday, Stace, Mike and Anika will be giving one prize away a day. And then in a couple of weeks time after that, everyone, one person's going to win every

prize. Yeah, you've got Air New Zealand credits to reunite with family, Wi-Fi for a year, Disney Plus subscriptions, trips to the shops for winter wardrobes, Dyson vacuum cleaners. Ben, a pamper session. Now you look like

you need a pampering. Now you're talking. Now you're talking. Have you ever been pampered? No, I don't. I can't imagine you would enjoy being pampered. I don't relax very well.

So even like massages and stuff, I'm like, okay, no, that's enough. Or do you like call it after five minutes or something? Yeah, I just don't relax. I spend the whole time feeling more tense. So yeah, I'm not one of them. I'm just, yeah, I'm that's enough. What do you like, call it after five minutes or something? Yeah, I just don't really, I just spend the whole time feeling more tense. So yeah, I'm not one of them.

I'm just, yeah, I'm a strange individual. Yeah, pamper yourself, mate. I can't. Yeah. Let me pamper you. All right, so if you want to win all those, then head to the hits.co.nz. Oh my God, I want one. It's back.

Now, Juliet, how late for news are we going to be anyhow? Oh, I'm stressed out. Should we stop talking now? Yeah, let's stop talking in one place, man. Yes. Okay. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from six on The Hits. out. Should we stop talking now? Yeah, let's stop talking in one place, Mads. You sure? Yes. Okay.