Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 28 - Bree Tomasel, A Bob The Builder Song Poll, Have You Solved A Crime?

Episode Date: May 26, 2020

We want to give out Green QueensWhat did the boss make you do?Nano Girl called inBob The Builder song poll - is it fixed it or f***ed it?SpyBree Tomasel called inWe featured on Having You Been Paying AttentionHave you solved a crime?Scrolling Through Your FeedThe A To Z Of New ZealandRude AwakeningSpySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast on your little Friday, Thursday. It's good to have you with us. Brought to you by our partners at HelloFresh. Thank you HelloFresh for sponsoring the podcast. Yeah, it's really good. I've never had a podcast sponsored. I don't think I've ever had a podcast before. Well you have, you just haven't talked about it. Ben, you know we fumble around for about 60 seconds at the beginning of these things.

I'm not sure why. I just feel like we should just get straight to the podcast. Oh, it's just like a slow build-up to the bevy of entertainment that is about to combust your car or wherever you are at the moment in the gym. It's some podcast conversation starters. I've gone to a website. What's your quote of the day, mate? What's my quote?

What's a quote you live your life by? Oh, I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Wonderful quote. Yeah, wonderful quote. He's an inspirational guy. Which, you know, I like. Some days I would like to go more than a quarter mile. Other days.

But you have to stop at the quarter mile. You're like, hold on. Quarter mile at a time. I'm done. Not really sure the meaning behind that. I live my life. Well, it's a drag racing term. Right. A quarter mile.

So it's like a quarter mile is how far they race. How they drag, yeah, no, that makes sense now. Yeah, this is why we got kicked off the rock. On the radio station, yeah. Conversations like this, mate. I should have just stopped with the Fast and Furious. Yeah, they would have loved that. But I went, I don't know what that means.

Anyway, enjoy the podcast. Enough of us. On the podcast today, people that have solved crimes. It's really interesting. As well as that nano girl, should you get a flu vaccine? We'll find that out and more in the podcast. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Hey, we sort of started talking about Queen's birthday yesterday and producer Juliette's the show royalist. She's also a practising Satanist as well. It's an odd combination of being a huge fan of the royals and Satan. But producer Juliette said that Ben and I didn't deserve to observe the three day weekend

because we mock the royals. We don't care about them. And you don't know enough about them. Simple as that. You need to learn. And a challenge has been issued from upper management here. We need to learn the royal family tree. If we do so successfully by tomorrow morning, we'll give away green queens. That's right. To every caller.

Yes. It's not the type of green stuff Ben usually buys for $20, but just a green $20 note. Yeah. So we'll be trying to learn the royals, and this is from Elizabeth and Philip of Down, basically, and it's tricky. It's hard, so I thought I'd give you a little pop quiz just to see how you're tracking along.

All right, are you ready? Okay. Got to have some royal music to make it official. Who are the four children of the Queen and Prince Philip? Charles. Andrew. Andrew. Anne. And the Prince Philip? Charles. Andrew. Andrew. Anne.

And the other one? Edward. Edward, yes. Correct. Well done. We have been learning. We've been learning. All right.

Who are William and Catherine's children in order? Oh, jeez. George. George? Yeah. George. They dress George like a 1920s buddy. Yeah.

Charlotte and the other one we did the other day, Louis. Yes. Louis or Louis? Louis. Louis, Louis, Louis. Okay. Who are Savannah and Isla's parents? Oh, God.

Who are Savannah and Isla? Is that the rugby player? Is that the... Is that... Tindall? Sarah Phillips? No. It's not?

No, not quite. Stephen Tindall? No. He was No. It's not? No, not quite. Stephen Tindalls? No. He was a warehouse, wasn't he? Okay, no. Don't know that one. It is Peter and Autumn Phillips. So Peter is the son of Princess Anne.

No one cares about Peter. Looking at this family tree, some of the branches seem very incestuous of the tree. But who am I to say? We're not doing too bad. No? We're not doing too bad. No, we're not doing too bad. Guess one more. I was feeling good at the start.

Now, not so much. All right. This is a slightly one, not towards the royal family tree. But what is Archie's full name? Harry and Meghan's son. Are we going to be questioned on full names? You've got to know the royals. Oh, it's just Archie.

Archie to his friends, aren't you? His name is Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Winds And just one more Bonus question Bonus question What a pretentious name

Yeah If Archie Baron Mount Windsor Doesn't get bullied At school for that name The bonus question is What school Did Prince Edward

Go to And this is really Fascinating No it's not Yes it is Why do we care about What school he went to because he went to

Wanganui Collegiate yeah no I got that only because I saw that on your computer when I was around your side of the desk before there we go

we're tracking well if we do nail the royal family tree first thing tomorrow morning I tell you what we give away green queens to every caller

thank you Juju you're welcome who's actually held the hand the sweaty clammy hand of Megan Marshall. Yes. And I was thinking yesterday, you won't be able to do that in the future with COVID, you know, like there'll be no more hand-holding in the Royals.

Glad I got in there early, team. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Now, a friend of mine who went on a team-building exercise just out of lockdown, they decided that they would go and rebuild the team, get the passion, light the fire again. It's interesting, those team building occasions, aren't they?

Oh, yeah. I like when you just go to a bleak, tempen bowling alley, eat deep fried food and drink at 10.30 in the morning. That's the kind of team building I enjoy. We had one for our TV show a few years ago where we went, it was a whole day of stuff and then we had a few drinks and then we went to it was a whole day of stuff and then we had a few drinks and then we went to a park and then we played some sports

games and it almost did the opposite because everyone got really competitive and by the end everyone was real bitter at each other because someone cheated. Because I missed out I didn't go to that part and I turned up and no one was talking to each other and like there was three of them were shirtless so I was like why is everyone wandering around with no shirts on? Yeah so it can do

the opposite. It can, well anyway they were on this bus,. I was like, why is everyone wandering around with no shirts on? Yeah, so it can do the opposite. It can. Well, anyway, they're on this bus. The boss is like, I'm not going to say where we're going. They're like, oh, let's get lit, let's get lit. And they pull into the Millennium Institute. Now, the Millennium Institute is an institute for high-performance athletes in New Zealand. So, you know, there's like a, where Eliza McCartney trains with her pole vaulting. Oh, yeah, there's a running track, there's a swimming pool, there's everything.

Yeah, and they're like, whoa. I didn track, there's a swimming pool, there's everything. Yeah, and they're like, whoa. I didn't know there was a bar at the Millennium Institute. There is, there's protein bars. That's the bars you're going to be enjoying there. The boss walks them out onto the running track. Oh no. There's like 12 of them.

He's like, right, little fact about me. I used to sprint competitively. Everyone's like, okay. so what we're going to do is we're going to hold heats we're going to hold sprint heats 100 meter sprint heats uh and then the winner of those heats will then advance through to the finals and take me on oh so he already gone through he wasain Bolt. He'd gone through the plate round. Oh, fair enough. Yeah, he cleared through. He qualified. He didn't need to prove his worth. And so then he takes off his tracksuit, and he's in like a full lycra, you know, the full...

Oh, the full kit. The full thing, you know. You can see everything. Like, there's nothing's left of the imagination. He's aerodynamic, though. He's ready to go. There's literally one millimetre of fabric between you and nudity.

And so then, yeah, my friend and his colleagues had to compete in five heats of sprint races. To take on the boss. By the end of it, you'd be tired. Oh, exactly. He's got the advantage. But, yeah, he's a big rig. He's not designed to go over 5km an hour.

So he's like at the 15-metre mark, he was puffing. Because 100 metres is the length you think it is. By the time you hit 50 metres, you're like, kill me now. Oh my god. Anyway, so then someone advanced through to the final and just got smoked by the Lycra guy. And that was the team building.

I mean, it's a great team building exercise. If your team is a professional sprint crew, training for the Olympics, then that is a good team building exercise. Well, if you want to turn your team against you, then maybe they all united over that. So we want to know this morning, what has your boss made you do? The most unusual thing your boss has made you do for work.

A friend of mine in the States was telling you yesterday, he's applying for a job. Oh, yes. He's got to go a six-hour job interview. Six hours. It's like it's a full day's work. If he doesn't get the job, it's like,

well, there you go. Do you pay for that? Did we tell you this interview process is five years? We don't pay you, but it's great if you just do all this stuff for us.

We decide at the end of five years if you're... Leave it six. You were saying, Producer Juliet, yesterday that a former radio show host made you do something.

Yes. When I was an intern and it was probably two or three weeks in, the radio host that I was working with... Let's not call him the radio, let's say who he is. It's Flinny from More FM Drive. I didn't know if that was out here.

Now this is the type of dark stuff they get up to over at More FM. Who knows what McCormack's up to right now? All sorts of shenanigans. So Flinny from More FM Drive. Flinny was filling in for the Hits Breakfast Show when he's usually on the drive show for a particular time. And he said, oh, Juju, can you please, like my wife's taking my kids swimming early in the morning.

I'm on breakfast. Are you able to come and babysit my kids at 5am? Like 45 minutes, it was a 45 minute drive from where I actually live because he lives like basically in Northland. What a monster. What a monster. What a monster. And I was like...

Did you get paid for this? Yes, but I had to hassle him for weeks and weeks. Trying to pay you in prizes for the radio station. So I ended up doing that, and I mean, he had a cute cat, kind of, and it was all well and good in the end. But no, the thing is, he's putting a lot of faith in an intern he's only known for two weeks. Can you go and look after my kids?

I can leave the house. She's like, I've got no expertise in this area. Exactly. I'll look after myself. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

It's been five days without COVID-19 cases in New Zealand, so the country's doing well, and we like to talk all things COVID. With our resident expert, Dr. Michelle Dickinson-Nanogill. How's things? I'm good. How are you guys? Yeah, doing well. We're still using Zoom, aren't we? We still use Zoom, Michelle. We're not letting it go.

Don't. It's going to be the future, I reckon. We're never going to see real people. We're just going to slowly modify ourselves to be these virtual creatures. Getting to know you over the last four or five weeks through Zoom, I feel like that's your happy place. Not having to interact with other human beings and their germs. Especially us. I'm naturally an introvert, so I'm quite happy behind a

computer, never seeing people. We went to level two and I'm still in my studio. Have you still not gone out yet? No. Have you not? It's safe. You can go out now. But you know what? Introverts have been able to celebrate during this whole lockdown

of our natural state without having to go to parties or see anybody and just live in our normal. And it's been lovely. And not have to make up excuses as to why you can't go to things. 100%. I did actually make an excuse. I hope he's not listening. I made an excuse yesterday. There was a 21st birthday party that I said I was busy for,

and I wasn't. I just didn't want to go out. What are you more worried about? Are you more worried about the 100-people limit, mass gatherings, or the borders being open eventually, or a bit of both? I am worried about the borders, I think. The 100-person limit, if there's untraced cases here,

it would spread quickly. But I actually think we've done a lot of testing now, and we seem to know where our infection rates are. The borders are really interesting, obviously, and there's going to be a lot of people coming in now. There are this new special project scheme going on where if you're part of, you know, a high-worth project like some of the film industry,

people are coming through from all over the world. And I haven't seen the restrictions yet on what's going to happen with them. And so that's where I'm nervous right now. Because Winston Peters, he's like, open the borders, get them to Australia only, granted. Do you think an Australian-New Zealand bubble could work well in the near future? I think it could work well, I think, in not so near but soonish future. I mean, if you look yesterday, schools opened in Sydney and two cases came up in a school in Sydney. So there are still new infection rates in Australia. And so I think we should just

take a little bit more time. Now, the contact tracing, we talked about the app last time. Now, in the weekend, I went to a couple of shops. It's quite confusing because there's various apps and you scan your phone, you think you've got the app, and then you get taken to another site. You have to enter your details, and then obviously not everyone's policing it. It sort of seems like an honesty system. It is an honesty system right now,

and remember that in retail right now, you really don't need to be doing the contact. The contact tracing is mostly for you. It's so that you can remember and have a virtual diary of where you've been. I've downloaded 19 apps, all tracing my whereabouts. If you want to find me, it's going to be very easy. Now, Michelle, the government announced too that they're

going to put $34, $35 million towards... $37, I think. $37 million. I just bumped it up. I put in a couple of mil. $37 million towards New Zealand scientists they just bumped it up. I put in a couple of mil. $37 million towards New Zealand scientists trying to find a vaccine. A, is that a lot of money

for a project like this? B, how far away is the vaccine? Scientists always tell you it's never enough money. Science is very expensive and so it's actually not. It's a large amount of money. Obviously, it's millions of dollars. But to create a brand new vaccine, it's not a very large sum of money.

What it allows us to do is what we do really, really well, which is key research that might help some of the bigger giants who have also done some key research to find the bits that are missing. So it's not a huge amount of money, but it's a lot for New Zealand. It's not a lot if you looked at how much the US is spending on these things. So it's a a huge amount of money, but it's a lot for New Zealand. It's not a lot if you looked at how much the US is spending on these things. So it's a good thing. How long away? We can't tell you. It's going to be a while, I'm afraid.

We still have to do lots of testing. Some of the initial results haven't been that positive around vaccination. So we're still going. It's still a long way away. At least a year. At least. Yeah, I saw a scientist on Seven Sharp the other night saying, to be realistic, probably two years before it's sent around the world. And then if another country invents it, I thought this was interesting,

New Zealand will be quite far down the list of countries that you'd hand it out to because obviously we're doing quite well in relation to a lot of the countries with COVID-19. And so part of this $37 million is a strategic plan. If we suddenly become part of a co-developing country nation, then we might have higher dibs on the list. And that becomes really important.

Producing enough vaccine for the world takes a long time. But look, we've had SARS for 10 years and we still haven't created a vaccine for that. And that's a coronavirus. The difference is we've got lots of scientists and money

focused on one type of vaccine now, which may help. But don't count the chickens. Dr. Michelle Dickinson, what's your opinion on the flu jab? Because obviously a lot of businesses, a lot of people around the country right now are thinking about getting the flu jab. What's your thoughts from a scientific point of view? Yeah, the flu jab.

Those are my thoughts, that's it. Especially if you're vulnerable. There's a lot of street talk. There's a lot of vicious rumors around the flu jab that you actually get the flu. They inject you're vulnerable. There's a lot of street talk. There's a lot of vicious rumors around the flu jab that you actually get the flu. They inject you with it. They inject you, so you contract the flu directly after you've had the shot.

Is that true? No, that's not how it works. What it will do is it will help your immune system to build up the antibodies, and to that, sometimes you can feel a little bit under the weather. Not always. It's a small side effect. Jeez, I'll tell you what. This is actually our last conversation with michelle during this

period and we've really enjoyed it michelle i'm almost like i might create a few more covid cases so we can drag this out longer just so we can keep talking to her i think it's a worthwhile right place but i think the way you worded it was very poorly but we have really appreciated your time uh it's so interesting and so insightful, so thank you very much. I hope you don't have to interact with any other human beings. Me too. Thanks, guys. See you soon. Morning! It's Jono and Ben on the Heads.

We were doing Misheard Lyrics yesterday on the show, and a friend reached out to me after the broadcast, and he's like, oh, I thought you might enjoy this. This is his son singing, you know, Bob the Builder. Bob the Builder. Can we fix it? Bob the Builder. Yes, we can.

Producer Julia was just saying they'd be great at a nightclub. Oh, yeah. Imagine that. Bob the Builder. Imagine that at Rhythm and Vine's Juju. Oh, it'd be so good. Just as the beat drops, mate. Everyone would be like, yeah.

Bob, woo. That's a beat drops, mate. Everyone will be like, yeah! That's a catchy jingle, isn't it? You could probably do a DJ set of like, you know, dance mixes of juju, juju,

juju, juju. Oh, sign me up. What's Suzy Kato's one? Oh, it's our time, kia ora,

tōnā, tōnā, tōnā. Anyway, we've tapped into a new market there. 20 year olds who want to go back to their childhood while high. Anyway, Bob the Builder.

So you know the song. Everyone knows that song. He's like, I thought I'd send you my son who sings it. And he's taken some creative license with the lyrical content, I think. He starts well. He does start well. But then I don't know what he's saying at the end. I'll let you try and figure it out for yourself.

Bob the Builder, hands and fists it. Bob the Builder, it's foot. So maybe Bob's gone. It sounds like Bob's gone. Listen, even my skills can't. I can't even fix this. Or he's so lazy he can't even be bothered doing

the job. Can I hear it again? Bob the Builder, hands and fists. Bob the Builder, it's first. It's the two options. Bob the Builder. No, mate. Sorry, you're going to have to get a new one of those. Or either it's fixed.

He's like, oh, it's fixed. Or it's another effort. There's two options at the end of that. Either Bob's done his job or he can't do his job. And he's like, no, sorry, I can't do that. Yeah, I'll let you decide. You can decide. We'll open up a text poll.

4487, what has Bob done? Maybe the whole building consent law come through. Bob's like, I can't do that now. It can't happen. It's too much red tape and paperwork with the council now. Okay, 4487, what do you think is being said there? Fixed or the other option where Bob's given up on life? Bit of a poll going, just played some audio of

my mate's little boy singing Bob the Builder. Popular song, Bob the Builder, you know it. Bob the Builder Can we fix it? Bob the Builder Yes we can! I imagine on site that song would get a little aggravating if Bob kept singing it.

Shut up, Bob! Alright, mate, we're fixing it. It's going to take weeks. You know how long building consents and all that take, mate. And so this was him with his rendition of it. Bob the Builder, hand and fix it. Bob the Builder, it's fixed. Now, a bit of a text

poll going 4487, whether it was what he was saying there, whether Bob was just like, oh, listen, I can't do anything with that. There's just, you know, no builder could fix that. But yeah, no, it's fixed already. Oh, so people think he's saying Bob's like, it's fixed. It's fixed. It's done. We've done it. Job's done. On to the next project.

Tuning through them, Bob. We're going ahead. Six projects till Christmas sort of thing. So business is going well for Bob the Builder there. Now, we have been on the show releasing our own face masks. Thanks to kindface.co.nz. If you're not feeling 100% okay, you can be kind to your community, show your kind face, wear a mask when you're out and about in public,

and there's a lot of people doing it. There are. I saw someone at the supermarket yesterday in full PPE equipment. Oh, right, like that. Like a boiler suit, mask, goggles. I was like, wow. Really? Yeah.

Either they've protected themselves from COVID or have been baking something the police wouldn't approve of. I like to see those people, you see them pop up on social feeds that are wearing like unicorn costumes or like TRX. They're fully covered, but they're doing it in a sort of comical way. That's my favourite.

The masks are sweeping New Zealand. Our masks. It's the new fashion craze, our masks, because our masks have like little sayings on them like, sorry, got a cold sore,

or apologies, got pash rash, just had lip filler. Yeah, they've got funny little slogans on them and we actually, I think we've got someone on the line who's got

a couple of our masks. Have we got a happy customer on the phone, Angela? We do, we do. How happy are you with your mask? It was good and the kids at school thought it was a classic. Well, you can't tell

that she's happy because you can't see anyone smiling under the mask, but we'll take your word for it. So what ones are you rocking about in? I've got the not talk to anyone. Oh, yeah. Okay. I forgot that one. It's hanging on my

rear vision mirror in the car. Oh, right. And then I got the no kissing, I'm married bit. Oh, no kissing, I'm married. Yeah, well, I'm not married, but I'm a single mum with three kids. Oh, you're like, if anything, kiss me, I'm open. Come at me. I did ask you guys to sign it, but you didn't come through with that.

Oh, did we not? Oh, okay. No, it was Ben. Ben was like, I'm not signing anything for Angela., but you didn't come through with that. Oh, did we not? Oh, okay. No, it was Ben. Ben was like, I'm not signing anything for Angela. No, I didn't even know that. He was like, she's a monster. No, no, no, not true at all. We'll sign another one for you, mate.

And send that out for you, all right? Hey, and thank you so much for wearing the face masks and looking. Yeah, it was classic. It turned up lunchtime and you got to wear it to school in the afternoon and you got lots of looks and smiles. Oh, well, good on you. And I hope you get that kiss you're longing for too, Angela. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. It's producer Juju. She's like the human TMZ, which would probably actually make for one of the worst human beings ever. But you're not. You're not.

So you're not the human. You're probably the human entertainment tonight. Oh, yeah. A more classy aversion. A nicer version. Yes. I like that. James Corden, he explained why he underwent surgery last month.

So he injured his eye eight years ago doing some filming. As part of a scene, he had to hit his head with a trash can and it screwed his eye up. Anyway, eight years later, it flared up again. And so he had to go to surgery. He went to the doctor. This is what happened. He went to the surgery and he had a mask and gloves

and all those things. He wiped the whole thing down and he took one look at my eye and he said, we're going to operate on it now. And I said, but I've got a show at 5pm. And he said, no, you don't. So right there, they just did it. And it's the strangest thing. Because you're awake, but it's numb.

So you can't feel anything. But all the time I just kept going, oh my God. I know why you're doing this, Ben. Ben's like, do the James Corden one. I didn't know what the James Corden one was. And he made her play that because, made Juju play that because I hate eyes.

Anything to do with eyes, eye operations. Why would you do that? Because I thought it was really interesting. No, you didn't. There's five other stories to choose from.

I thought the James Corden one was a very interesting thing. I feel like dry reaching. Imagine that. I heard that you were played a little bit more of it. In a way, he said it was a good thing

because he didn't have a chance to sort of worry about it. He just sort of turned up and then suddenly he's like, oh, what's happening right now? Because imagine going to sleep the night before, something like that. My eye, I had a very traumatic eye incident where a contact lens ended up behind my eyeball and then the guy was stuck his index finger in behind my eyeball

having to scoop it out. Then he couldn't get it, so then he did two. Like he was unhooking a hook from a fish's mouth. Oh, my God. And I never quite recovered from that. No, I don't blame you. A friend of mine got a new kitten recently and it was playing around with the kitten

and the cat went to scratch. No! And it missed his eye, but got his eye lit and the claw went through the eye lid and sort of pulled it out and it was like a fishing hook of his eye lid and

shut up shut up honestly shut up dear god he still hooked it out of the eye it's true sorry

I'll be like honey grab the car and run me over now so there you go I don't know I told you that why did I not told you that one before? How would you do that?

So this was a long play from you. You're like, start with the cordon thing and I'll end up with this horrendous claw in an eyelid yarn. Welcome to the show, guys. Great to have you on. And that is Spy Things to Pack and Save. And you can check out Stickman on Instagram

at instickman. I have checked him out. He's actually a really funny follow, actually. All the photos are all like, yeah, they're like out Stickman on Instagram at instickman. I have checked him out. He's actually a really funny follow, actually. All the photos are all like, yeah, they're like the Stickman drawings, you know, I'm going out tonight wearing this and all this sort of stuff. It's quite, it's a funny, it's a funny follow.

Has he got more followers than you? Yeah, probably. Definitely more than this show, that's for sure. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. No, it is Queen's birthday weekend this weekend. Many people will be travelling away and we're excited about it.

And Producer Juliet, you made our excitement less because you said we shouldn't be getting this holiday. No. Because we don't fancy the royals as much as other people. Yeah, you guys need to learn. You know, you're under the Commonwealth. You live in New Zealand. You've got to know your stuff about the Queen and the royal family.

Yes, Juliet's unusually defensive about the Royals for some reason, but we've been issued a challenge by our upper management here that if we learn the Royal Family tree Friday, tomorrow, we will give away green queens, baby, to every caller. $20 to every caller. That's pretty sweet. Going around to start a long weekend. Stuff you can buy with $20.

Oh, all the stuff you can buy with $20. It's unlimited. Yeah a long weekend. Stuff you can buy with $20. Oh, all the stuff you can buy with $20. It's unlimited. There's some stuff you can buy with $20. Now, we've done some research as the show's been playing out this morning about how to remember stuff. And it dates back to I purchased Kevin Trudeau's Mega Memory. You remember Kevin Trudeau?

Juliet, he was from the 60s. He taught everyone how to remember stuff. And one of his key points was turn things into a song and it's easier to remember it's also great

for radio content so if we turn the royal family tree great idea you know from Queen Elizabeth Prince Charles down if we turn it into

some form of a song it'll help us remember it and then maybe we can deliver that tomorrow and then you'll go oh yeah you guys know all the names. It's like when you're at school, you turn the periodic table into a parody song, didn't you Ben?

Made you pass science. Such a great parody song, that one. Because you, actually, you know all the words. I used to know all the words to the Kiwi Burger. You know that classic, I think, you know that classic song? We love hot balls, rugby balls, McDonald's, snapper schools, world peace, woolly fleas, Ronald's and Raising Bees, jelly beans, cricket's, snapper schools, World Peace,

Woolly Fleece, Ronald's and Raising Bees, jelly beans, cricket wins, Farskies, golf tees, superfans, cowry trees, Kiwi Burger, love one please. McDonald's Kiwi Burger, the classic New Zealand burger. I think you go, because we love all blacks, still but that's it. You know, you know how the song goes. Wow. You wouldn't believe you was a virgin until 25, would you? That's what I used to spend my time doing in my room.

What are you doing in there? I was embarrassed to tell my parents what I was doing in my room as a teenager. Oh, God, he's singing the McDonald's Kiwi Burger song again. I wish he was doing something else. But I almost buy him some marijuana. Mum's putting our dirty magazines under the door just to try. No, Mum, I'm moving the Kiwi Burger song. That's what I dirty magazines under the door just to try. No, Mum. I'm learning the Kiwi Burger song.

That's what I'm doing alone at home. What have we made? All right. This is what we want to chuck out there. What do you know every word to? Whether it's a piece of dialogue from a movie scene, whether it's a song, whether it's a commercial. You know one next. I think we'll get to that one as well.

Which is just as unusual as the McDonald's. You know all the words to this. I know some of them, but not all of this. So, yeah. we'll get to that one as well. Which is just as unusual as the McDonald's. You know all the words to this. I know some of them, but not all of this. So yeah, we'll get to that in a minute. What do you know all the words to? We'd love to hear from you

this morning. Not a morning person. Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Boss Todd has given us a bit of a challenge that if we can learn

the whole royal family tree tomorrow on the show, he's going to give away green queens to every caller on our radio show. So $20 to every caller. And we're actually studying. We're not doing too bad. You've got Queen Elizabeth, you've got Prince Charles. They made mad passionate

in a match. No. What? No. You said Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles. That's like... Well, maybe that could have happened. Oh, wow. Not a great start. I was like that sister there. Oh, fuck. I know it's like... Well, maybe that could have happened. Oh, wow. Not a great start. I was like, hang on.

Whoa. Start talking about... I said it with such confidence. I know. It's like, oh, we've been studying. Listen to this. Listen to me. His mum hooked up. Step aside and let the big guns play.

Okay, so anyway, we've got a bit of work to do, clearly. So we thought we'd put it into a song and we'll try and learn that song today and then deliver it tomorrow on the radio. If it's successful, every caller wins a green queen tomorrow leading into Queen's birthday. I think we're going to say the company's going to save a lot of money, actually, judging by that. So we wanted to know what songs

you know all the words to. Jono, this is something that always amazes me, something you know the words to, the Tux jingle, the ad for dog food. Yeah, I miserably failed at school, but somehow ended up learning every word to this. It has a fiddle sharp as an eye.

Tux keeps him full alive. Lean and mean and overdrive. He's hurting the cattle, shifting the mob. It's a fee for the working dog. Cape the anger to the bluff. There's only one for the working dog. Cape Leanga to the bluff. There's only one fee that's

good enough and it's tux. Keeps it full of life. That's a great song, that one, eh? That's up there with the Inter-Islander jingle. Oh, that's another great one. So we wanted to know on the phone, 0800 the Hits, what song do you know all the words to, embarrassingly or not?

Let's head to Andrew. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Andrew. What is it for you, matey? Bye Bye American Pie. Dom MacLean. It's my dad's favourite song. It's his only song he listens to. It starts so slow, but it's a great song.

He also did Vincent though, which was a bloody good song. So you know every single word of this song I do All 24 minutes of it Longest number one song hit ever Is it really? It is in the Guinness Book of Records Wow

For the amount of weeks it spent at number one Or as in the duration? The duration of the song And it was also up for a long time as well How long is the song? Eight minutes something? It's three point something minutes, almost four minutes. Wow, there we go, eh?

Well, yeah, it's eight minutes in the full version, I think. So maybe they cut it down for radio version. Did Steal Away to Heaven or Get to Number One, maybe. That's a long ask, so maybe it's not eight minutes. That is impressive. We'll send you out to John and Ben FaceMask. Thanks to our friends at Kind Face. What else on the phone there, Jono? Bye-bye, American Pie, and bye-bye to Andrew.

Welcome to Cherie from West Auckland. How are you going, matey? Good, thank you. You know every word to what? Ben knows every word to the McDonald's Kiwi Burger song. I know every word to the Tux dog food song. Serves us no real help in life, but anyway, we're here now. Mine is the animal chocolate bar from Nestle.

Oh, so we do. Producer Ben, Bumfrey just sent us through a picture of these from the 70s and 80s, these are for. Yes. So how does it go? I don't know if I know this one. Well, I was a kid at the time, so I really loved it. It was, I'm so hungry, I could eat a bear.

Mmm, now I'll eat a monkey. What? Hey, what you doing? Eating chocolate animals from the Nestle's Animal Bar. Chocolate animals? Every bar's got five different wild animals made from Nestle's real milk chocolate. 16 different animals in all. I'm wild about chocolate.

Me too. I think I'll eat a lion. Raw. Uh-oh. Nestle's Animal Bar for anyone who's wild about chocolate. Yay! Wow, we just met all 10 of your personalities there

yes you did as soon as we hit level one we're taking that around the country to town halls near you that's a great

one person play the one woman Nestle chocolate bar commercial from the 80s so good we'll send you out a John Lennon

face mask for your troubles that's amazing oh thank you you're good on you Cherie cheers for your troubles. That's amazing. Oh, thank you. No, you're good on your sheree. Cheers for listening to the show, mate. You appreciate it. Have a good weekend.

Kia ora. I'm Simon Bound, and I host Business is Boring, a podcast that reckons it's anything but. Join me each week as I chat with some of the most interesting and inspirational players in the Aotearoa business scene and learn what it takes to make it happen from accidental entrepreneurs to the brains behind some of the country's biggest brands.

If you're into business or want to be, then make sure you follow Business is Boring wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network in partnership with Sparklab. Like starting your day without your morning coffee? It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Now, you got this. It's a TVNZ show. with Spark Lab. Two of us, Jono, we got roped in. You Got This Is On tonight on 2 at 7pm. And setting the challenges for us is Brie Thomasale, who you'll know from the host of Celebrity Treasure Island and ZM as well.

How's it going, Brie? G'day, boys. How are we? Oh, we're doing well, Brie. You've done a wonderful job of hosting this show, which I'm gathering looking at it was sort of put together in a semi-rush during lockdown. Guys, it's been a crazy ride. I think that a primetime television show has been filmed on my iPhone. I know.

It's great to have, you know, the acceptable level of broadcast now. It's really dropped back about 10 stages. Ben, boys, the problem is when we film videos on Zoom, I don't have any lighting, but Ben's got a few cameras and lights. See, he sets up his lights. He looks like a Hollywood studio compared to my dingy little toilet I'm broadcasting from. So he's now gone to not using the lights and downgrading his quality so my quality matches. I'm so glad Ben's brought down his standards so the rest of us have a chance.

Now, tonight on You Got This on TVNZ, we actually get to feature as part of the episode. That was lots of fun. Guys, you guys are just hilarious. John, I knew that I could have taken or leaving, but it was a part of the show. I was sort of assuming that primetime television would edit out my milky white thighs or pixelate them or something. Standard, because the pixelation wasn't strong enough so you definitely

can still see crack. So you gave us a challenge in our bubble as the two of us and we were taking on, we didn't know at the time, Art and Matilda, you know, from The Bachelor and also Tony Street and her family, they were all in their bubbles doing the same challenge. It was, yeah, because you issued us the challenge that we had to recreate

famous pieces of artwork and so we were stuck here in the office so you that we had to recreate famous pieces of artwork. And so we were stuck here in the office. So you kind of had to scramble and we used like the stapler and the photocopier and stuff like that. We started strong, Jono, you and I, you'll see tonight. And then we kind of faded a little bit, you know, like we got excited about the first one and then we kind of checked out a little bit.

Am I going to say you panned it off to one of your employees that there's going to be an HR meeting? I don't know. That's all in the future. We'll see. Producer Juliet, sorry, we dragged you into this. It's okay. It's okay.

You had to sign a release form. Yeah, I did. Are you okay, Juliet? I've only just recovered, Brie. Brie Thomas, our host of You Got This On TV NZ2 and also hosts the ZM Drive show with Clint. And we're actually all in the same building. You issued us a challenge.

We want to now issue you a challenge. Oh, no. We have the telephone number of your boss, Ross. Oh, no. And we can actually see through the window right now. He's just down the end of the office, right? Your challenge is to convince Ross to pick you up at the airport now.

So you need to say, oh, listen, mate, I'm stranded at the airport. Will you come out to the airport and pick me up at the airport now. So you need to say, oh listen mate, I'm stranded at the airport. Will you come out to the airport and pick me up and bring me back to work? Because no one really likes taking people to and from the airport. Oh my God, you've really done me in boys. Why the hell would I be at the airport at the moment? Maybe you went out there and you didn't

realise there was no flights. You got dropped off, you stuck there and Ross can he pick you up? Yeah. A very complex backstory. How did I get to the airport? Why am I there? But not be following the news. Here we go. Good luck.

Hi, this is Ross. Sorry, I can't take calls. Please leave a message. Sometimes in life you try things, you know? And sometimes, sometimes people don't answer,

you know? I'm so disappointed that they didn't answer. I'm so disappointed that they didn't answer. I'm so sad. Oh, listen, well, we had an idea there, and I'm sorry, Bree, that you had to be part of that. Mate, it happens to us all the bloody time. Can I just say on a quick serious note, before

we finish, Bree, what you did the other day, you spoke on the radio, I thought it was really brave about some things that have been going on, and I thought it was really cool that you got that out there. Did you get good feedback from that? Mate, the feedback from, I mean, yeah, I did chat about how I was having a bit of a hard time at the moment. And I think it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do on radio,

I'm not going to lie, just to make yourself really vulnerable and kind of put your hand up and say, look, I'm not okay at the moment. But I wanted, I guess, people to feel like they weren't alone and that it wasn't that unusual to not be feeling quite right. And I actually found, you know, a lot of kind of comfort in the fact of how many people message me and how that's okay. And I really appreciate you saying that, mate. And I think it's a really important conversation

that we probably need to talk about a little bit more often. Oh, good on you. Very brave to be that vulnerable. And good on you. Listen, we've probably collectively spent 11 and a half minutes together over six different occasions.

And I would say collectively... There was a time I looked like I was pointing at your chest in a photo. Yeah, that was that one. That's a moment we'll never forget. That was 35 seconds., they've been the... That was the time I looked like I was pointing at your chest in a photo. Yeah, that was that one. That's a moment we'll never forget. That was 35 seconds. And those have been the greatest 11 and a half minutes of my life. You're a bloody great lady, Bree.

And you guys, I feel the same about you. You guys are so warm, so supportive of everyone around you. And that really reflects really well on you guys. And keep doing what you're doing, boys, because you guys are legends. You too, mate. You too. Oh, guess who's just come to the window holding his phone up.

It's Ross Boss, your boss. Oh, no. Let's get Ross in here. He's in here early. Maybe you can try and convince him now. Say you're at the airport. Oh, yeah. Cool.

Hey, Ross, you'll never believe it, mate. Bree's on the phone. She's phoned us. She's stuck out at the airport. So these rookies didn't call from a blocked phone number. I thought you might answer that. Which I've now

got saved as Jono and Ben trying to prank you. Totally not related, Danny. Bree, have you finished prepping your show for today? Because otherwise... Let's see about that. There's not going to be a show because I'm stuck at the air. So can you pick her up, Ross?

I can hear those planes in the background. There's so many of them. Oh, there goes a Boeing 738. Okay, I'm just going to go and do something else with my life now. Well, thank you for coming in and giving us an ending to this, Ross. We appreciate that. When pranking goes wrong. Oh, prank wars.

Catch it tonight. Brie, you are a legend. We love catching up with you and catch it tonight on the telly. You got this on TVNZ too? Always a pleasure, boys. Thanks for having me.

Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Just before we're about to start talking here, Producer Juliet turns on the microphone.

What did you say? What was the little pep talk that you gave us? I was like, don't daw Ben on the Hats. Just before we're about to start talking here, Producer Juliet turns on the microphone. What did you say? What was the little pep talk that you gave us? I was like, don't dawdle on this one too. One of my joys in the morning is watching Producer Juliet stress out that we're running over time because we've babbled too much. And so she's like, don't talk too long here. But now we've spent 30 seconds talking about the fact that we're running. I know, we've rambled on too much.

We've done everything the opposite of what you wanted. And now she's like, oh, God. You're like the kids where I tell them what to do one thing, they do the complete opposite. Now, last night we were on TVNZ's show, Have You Been Paying Attention? And we had to do, like, the guest quiz masters over. And they're doing it via Zoom at the moment

because obviously we're social distancing, you know, they're allowed in the same studio. So we went over to Jono's house because we had to be together and we're allowed to be together because, well, there's no bubbles anymore as such, is there? But we hadn't told your wife. No, no, she was out. Yeah, she was out.

And what we did do is get dressed into suits and boxer shorts. Zoom attire, you know, like flash top halves and boxer shorts on the bottom half. So we got changed in your lounge before we went into a room to do the Zoom call. Yeah, but you sort of walked in the front door and just took your clothes off. And he left his clothes strewn over the front door on the floor. I didn't realise the family were going to come back.

So then we were in the lounge and we were filming and the door was shut. We locked the door. Someone through the other lounge locked the door. Just to make sure that no one would walk in. And they were giggling away and stuff. So she walked in and she was like well this looks like a scene from the movies where the passion has reached such climax that they can't even contain their clothing until they've reached the bedroom so they walk at the front door boom clothes are off and then

and then all she heard was giggling out of a locked door room and then 25 minutes later we emerged sweaty and I was just like, what's up? Some explaining to do there. And I tell you what, there's nothing quite like the scene of walking in on a half-naked Jono and Ben. They were like two retired strippers who should be based in

Mochiwaka or something trying to earn an honest living. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Hey, thank you so much for joining us. We love hanging out with you. Apart from you, Dennis, you're a nightmare. But please stick with us.

Now, yesterday we spoke to a very interesting person, Julia Robson. Yeah, Julia Robson. So she's a New Zealander, but based in Melbourne. She's a private investigator, and she wanted to come onto our show to talk about a new podcast called Chasing Charlie. So she was hunting down a New Zealand con man who's... It's a true story, right?

Yeah, he's duped ladies all over the world, and the interview, it didn't start well. Now, you've got a new podcast called Chasing Charlie. Now, Chasing Charlie is something Ben does every Friday night. Mate, Julia's better than this. I'm better than this. Anyway, Julia. Julia, what do you want to say to Ben? He can't find Charlie. Obviously you did.

Poor Julia got wrapped up in our crappy gags. She's just here talking about her podcast. Yeah, and then you came in. Julia, what's the difference between what you do and, say, stalking? So we had a shocker. We apologise to Julia because she was lovely and awesome and it's a great podcast.

Yeah, and this is how it ended. We'll do this again. I'm not sure about that. But in between all that, in between the low points, she did discuss the Chasing Charlie and what the whole story was about he was ripping people off taking money for furniture and so forth and just not delivering the product he then went on to become um trade me worst online seller then a warrant was issued for his arrest in new zealand and he just went around the world destroying the lives of anyone he could

come into contact with, both professionally and obviously in his relationships as well. So Chase and Charlie you can find that we get all good podcasts and some shoddy ones as well Like ours. Yeah, it's available there too, but what we wanted to spring off there, because we were talking about this after the show, have you ever solved

a crime? I haven't No. My only one was when I was about 18, I used to have a Mazda and it was parked in my driveway and I got up to get a drink of water at about three in the morning. I was like, oh, the car's not there. And so I walked outside and it was sort of halfway up the driveway with all the doors open. Yeah. I was like, well, this is an unusual turn of events. So I went to check the car and shut the doors and, you know, park it back. But then as I was like, well, this is an unusual turn of events. So I went to check the car and shut the doors and, you know, park it back. But then as I was doing that, a carload of guys pulled up at the end of my driveway.

And they were guys I knew. And I was like, hey, man. And they're like, hey. And I was like, did you? They're like, yeah, sorry, man. We'll see you later. Did they know it was you and your car or were they? I didn't think they would expect.

Because what had happened, my dad had put in this very complex magnet system. So he needed a magnet under the dashboard to start the car. So I'm gathered that's what tripped them up when they were trying to, they were like, why is this thing not starting? They were obviously pushing it down the driveway. Then came back for a second crack at it. Then I was there and we had a very, very awkward interaction.

I never even called the police. I was like, oh, I guess we'll see you around then. All right, thanks for trying to steal my car, I guess. Good luck with the next one. I love it. You're like Ned Flanders in the neighborhood. It's lovely. So 0800, that's 4487 is our text number.

If you want to get us, 0800 843 4487 on the phone. Have you solved a crime? Have you stopped a crime? Has a burglar broken into your house and you've gone, hey, buddy? We were just talking about have you stopped a crime? Producer Humphrey's broken into your house and you've gone, hey, buddy. They were just talking about have you stopped a crime? Producer Humphrey's coming. You stopped what? Yeah, peeping Tom.

Can I just apologise to anyone with the name Tom as well because we've really tarnished the name Tom with peeping Tom, haven't we? Yeah, so I went on a date. This was years ago with a girl and I went to go pick her up from her house and I noticed that her front gate was light with a bike lock so I had to clamber over the gate to go and get her anyway

later at dinner she didn't mention anything I questioned her on it and she said she made up some excuse later at dinner she told me that she has a peeping tom and had so for like the last six months scary so when I went to go drop her home I noticed a guy in the neighbours garden

and so I chased him and I tried to call her while I was chasing him and she didn't answer so I thought what do I do, I'll just call 111 so spoke to the police, they couldn't get anyone out, they said you can't follow this guy stop chasing him and then I said

I'm not too scared for my own safety so I'll keep going, you call me back when you can find a police officer to come and sort this guy out because it had been going on for a long time and the girls in the flat were genuinely scared. So chased him around town for about 45 minutes at 11pm one night. Really?

And finally, yeah, the cops turned up and got him. Following him for 10k. I mean, you know, those guys must get a wonderful cardiovascular workout, those peeping toms. Well, you would have as well. You would have. Jeez, that's a good run.

So not the only thing he was working out. Oh, geez. Hazel's not solving a crime. Hazel, you solved a crime. What happened? You're in grey mouth. Hazel. Oh, hi.

Sorry. Don't apologise. Mate, have you heard this show? We should be apologising to you. Hey, no. I'm actually a meter reader. We go to properties and read people's power. And I approached

this property the other day and I thought that's weird. There's a cable going from the neighbour's house, which is a real scanty looking house, across and into my house. So I open the door and go in and next minute I see the cable literally is going through the bedroom,

through the hall, and into the kitchen. So I went into the kitchen and thought, that can't be right. So I unplugged it. And then I realised the bathroom window had been jimmied open. And then I come back into the hallway again because I needed to read my meter. And it's only then that I realised that the back door was also jimmied open. Oh, my God.

Cheeky. Someone was stealing your power. Well, it wasn't me, so it was the neighbour stealing the property. The owner lives in Christchurch. Oh, that is so, so smart, firstly, but very illegal. I mean, very illegal.

Shocking, shocking, but very clever. I mean, very illegal. Shocking, shocking, but very clever. I rang the customer and said, have you got some arrangement to share your power with your neighbour? And he's like, no. Wow. Hell of a play there. Hazel, thank you very much for your call. Text just came in here.

I made a shoplift to pay for everything they stole. When she said, sorry, I have a problem. My therapist told me that I need to write down everything that I steal. Then I showed her our selection of notebooks and pens and made her buy those as well. Turned a robbery into a $200 sale. That's a sales rep right there. Cassie,

welcome from Tauranga. Hi, how's it going? What crime did you stop, Cass? Oh, well, we, this is a few years back now, but we got boogered when we were a bit younger and had quite a lot of stuff stolen. And so the police came out and did their fingerprinting and all that that they do and didn't find a lot. And so they sort of said,

well, you know, there's not a lot we can really do from here. And because it was so much that was gone, we were absolutely gutted. So we thought surely there's something here they've left something behind you know whatever um and actually the next day we found a blood splatter on the curtain where they'd smashed the window um so we called the cops back up they came back around took the dna sample and um they actually had him on the system and ended up um arrest him, and he was wanted anyway, so he spent about three years, I think,

on bars after that. Gee whiz. Detective Rob Lamodo on the phone here. Yeah, I know. It was amazing. I think he spent, I think it was about two years he drip-fed money to us for after that. Oh, well, hey, listen, I tell you what,

you should be up on charges for stealing our hearts this morning. What a great story. Thank you very much, Cassie. No worries, guys, thanks. Appreciate it. Have a great day. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

It's growing through your feed. Now, Ben's done a fantastic job of looking through all the influencers' seductive butt shots to get these news stories. This is from your feed this morning. A really good feel-good story, though, that the nation's talking about this morning when you're waking up is the 23-year-old trampers, Dion and Jessica, they were found alive after 19 days in the bush in Kahurangi National Park.

Isn't this an incredible tale? 19 days? I couldn't even survive for half a day in the bush. Imagine us two in there. We just got no practical skills whatsoever. So they're out of food for a few days, but a helicopter spotted some smoke from a fire that they've lit, and they were even last night discharged out of hospital.

Like, they went in the hospital, and they're like, you know, you're all good, and off they go. So a remarkable story. It is, and in our WhatsApp group for the show last night, I saw Producer Heidi and Producer Humphrey saying, we're trying to get them, we're trying to track them down, which is a very good initiative. But I'm like, these guys have been in the bush for 90 days.

The last thing they want to do is come on the hits with Jono and Ben. Hey, it's 726. Welcome, trappers. Anything more painful than being in the bush for 90 days is talking to us. For nine minutes. People aren't going to go back there jeez have you been bushing before

have you gone bush yeah because I grew up in the Wairarapa so it's surrounded by oh lovely bush you've got to go walking through the it's like

did you feel like you had to go you kind of feel like you had to it's lovely it's pretty but it's not my thing to go tramping for 3 days

to a hut and then stay in there did you take a little bag of scroggin and head out there find yourself yeah that's probably my favourite part about it,

just being able to eat trail mix as you go. Okay, so if I was trapped with you, I couldn't eat you. You're too bony. No, you couldn't. Producer Juliet, we've got Producer Humphrey and Producer Heidi. Who would you eat?

Who would you eat if you were stranded in the bush? Juliet, you're starting with you. Oh, as in I have to choose? You have to choose out of everyone who you would eat if the show was stranded. Producer Humphrey. Bumfrey. You're going to eat Bumfrey?

Why? You've got to give us a reason. Oh, I don't know. What are you saying about Bumfrey's frame? No. The filling frame? He's offended by it. He's looking at you.

He's offended. I look like I could last you three weeks. Do you know why my reasoning? I wouldn't eat Heidi because she's pregnant and I wouldn't eat you two because you guys need to keep the show going. Oh, yeah. So I'd eat Bump Free.

He's the first one off the ramp. And your campfire stories are too long too, Ben Humphrey. That's what producer Heidi says. Love you, Bump Free. You could dine out on him for months. He's like a Christmas ham. He's offended. When he started the show,

it was offended. Another thing scrolling through your feed this morning. Elvis Presley, you know Elvis, legendary singer. Well, his jock strap, a diamond encrusted jock strap is for sale for $60,000. That's when you know you've got

just, you've spent your money on everything you need and you're like, what else can I do? Well, I can diamond encrust my genitals. Yeah, it's an amazing thing. It's also classed as sparkly and sexually potent. I saw it on TV. I was on Happy to Be Paying Attention. I was like, wow, that is sexually potent.

Imagine if someone came out of the bathroom wearing that. You're like, wow. It's got EP and diamonds at the top and then the rest of the jock straps all encrusted. Chafing? That's the first thing that comes to mind. Quite's quite dangerous to have sharp diamonds sort of playing in that region. We talked about your top not being washed,

but in this situation, would you want it washed or not washed? You'd nappy sand it in a bucket, I reckon. But then you're taking away the Elvis-ness of it. You know? Oh, has Elvis not washed it? I don't know. That's what I'm saying.

Would you wash it? Or would you go, oh, no, I want to keep it? So the first thing you think of is if you purchase Elvis' thing is to put your nose in it and just, oh, that's 100% Elvis right there. Maybe not. You don't get more Elvis than that.

That is what's happening in the world this morning. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. The A to Z of New Zealand. This is where we phone all 570 towns and cities in New Zealand. We figured it's going to take two and a half years. And gee, I've shown more commitment to this than I have returning to the gym after lockdown. Have you been to the gym after lockdown?

I haven't yet. I've still got into doing the home workout. With Joe Wick's body coach on YouTube? Yeah. I got onto him too. I followed your lead. Hello geezers, it's Joe Wick's here. Oh, that's savage. Oh, do some squats and some burpees. Yeah.

Choo-choo, you going back to the gym yet after lockdown? No, no, I have not. You've started paying again, though, haven't you? Yeah, I have. Which I think we all have, right? Yeah, I just can't be bothered right now. I'm going to let that ship sail for a while. The poor gyms, hey.

Yeah. Because I imagine a lot of people will be like, well, I could just work out at home now. Well, they've probably found ways of doing it over lockdown. You're right. Yeah. Anyway I imagine a lot of people will be like, well, I could just work out at home now. Well, they've probably found ways of doing it over lockdown, you're right. Yeah. Anyway, that was a real dog leak. Don't know how we ended up in gyms, but this is the A to Z of New Zealand calling all the towns today. We're heading to the

South Island. Ben, you been here before? No, I haven't. It looks like a beautiful place. Arrowtown. Let's go through, Juju. Hello, Golden Fleece, Kate speaking. Hello, is that Golden Fleece local upscale boutique focusing on New Zealand-made knitwear designer, leather jackets and souvenirs? Yes.

It's Jono and Ben from The Hits. How are you? Good, thanks. Now talk to us. Talk to us. We should probably be talking to you. You can talk to us, but we can talk to you. We can explain what we're ringing for.

We're ringing every town and place in New Zealand, one a day, and we've now rung Arrowtown. Yeah. And we thought, what better place to call than a local upscale boutique focusing on New Zealand maidenhood where designer leather jackets and souvenirs. Yeah. And you need to tell us about Arrowtown.

Yeah, well, it's a little town, but quiet at the moment. So we're near Queen, we're about 15 minutes from Queenstown. Oh, the big smoke. Lovely. Yeah, yeah. So not far away from there.

And how long have you been there? We've had this store about 20 years, so a while now. So obviously not as many tourists there at the moment for obvious reasons. No, it's very quiet. Yeah. Yeah, so we're now. So obviously not as many tourists there at the moment, for obvious reasons. No, it's very quiet. Yeah. Yeah, so we're waiting for everyone to come in.

And what's the town's deepest, darkest secret? Oh, I don't know if it has any secrets, really. Arrowtown, no secrets in Arrowtown. No. An open book. Yeah, that's right. What do you do in Arrowtown? What can people enjoy?

Lots of good shopping and eateries and good cafes. We've probably got about 11 or 12 cafes, which is quite a few for the size of Arrowtown. I'm looking at some images on google.com, a popular website, and we said it before about Alexandra and said all the photos look like a baby boomer's paradise. Oh, yes. Arrowtown's in the same category.

Tell me, what's there, Jonah? Yeah, lots of cafes and the colours here are pretty amazing in the autumn. Do you enjoy a cab sav or something similar, Ben? I do. Well, then you can go to the local winery, the Woolcrest. Yeah, lots of wineries around here. I feel like you would go to Arrowtown as a tourist.

This would be one of those towns you go to as a tourist. Maybe if you're from overseas and you'd be like, oh, I'm going to buy some as a tourist. This would be one of those towns you go to as a tourist, maybe if you're from overseas, and you'd be like, oh, I'm going to buy some woolen everything. Woolen socks, woolen jersey, woolen pants, woolen underpants, and then you get back to Brisbane, or wherever you come from, and you're like, oh, why did I do that?

You know when I go to Fiji and get your hair braided and then you come back and have to live with the regret when you return. The wool you provide in Arrowtown probably does that for a lot of tourists. Yeah, it's a bit like that probably. Beautiful spot. I'm looking online. It's beautiful. Does it snow there?

Yes, it does. Probably we get snow right down the town maybe a couple of times a season. Can you snowboard to work? Not quite. But you could have the excuse that you snowed in and you can't go to work. Yeah, some days you actually do get snowed and you can't get out. So you've used that excuse? Yeah. I've always dreamed of doing that. You see that on the American shows, like the Simpsons or something like that, even though it's not real. You know that documentary, The Simpsons?

And what do you do in Arrowtown? You're shacked up with a partner? No, no. No. On the market. This is getting quite personal. Sorry about that. You don't have to answer any of these questions.

Well, you know, this happened to me just right about Arrowtown. Sorry about that. I'm sorry. That was Jono, by the way. You probably don't know which one of us is which. That was Jono. Do you want to advertise for a partner on the radio or something? What are you looking for in a partner?

No, I've got things. Okay. We're just providing the opportunity, Ben. She can advertise Arrowtown in a relationship. I'm sorry about him. I'm sorry. Hey, well, listen, you look after yourself in Arrowtown. Lovely to talk to you.

Thank you for telling us that. And like your knitting yarns, you're certainly down to earth. We appreciate your time. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Now we had a meeting with Todd, our boss. Good old boss Todd. And he's like, I've got some audio from the show I want to play you.

And as a radio show, that is literally the worst thing you can hear. I've got some audio from the show I'd like to play you where you're like, well, this is never, it never ends well. It never ends well as a radio show. It's a show just to give some feedback on,

you know, what you're doing, what you can do better and it's good to get that feedback but it's also hard when you're in a room of other people

to listen to that. Yeah, when it's like, it's like evidence in court. Here is the shocking thing you did on the radio and now we can talk through it as a group.

Because we know at the time, we know at the time, we have done better than that. We live through it. We don't need to hear it again. So yeah, we had one of those things yesterday. He's like, I'll come into the room and I'll play you some audio from the show.

And you're walking in there. A little bit of you is dying inside as you sit down. But then a miracle. It was like radio Jesus was looking down upon us all. A true miracle happened. Yeah, because he was trying to connect his laptop to a little UE Boom, a portable speaker, and he was turning the UE Boom into a UE Boomer

because he was having a hard job trying to get audio out of this thing, you know? So he was like, oh, I'm trying to get this playing on my laptop. How do I connect this to this thing? And there were seven of us in the room, and at any point, any of us could have got off the bench

and helped him connect the Bluetooth. But I didn't want to hear the audio oh I did it in the end he couldn't connect so he had to reenact what happened

as a one man play those things though those portable speakers are very handy but they can stitch people up at the best of times we had someone

we used to work with producer Juliet not you someone we used to work with I'm just telling not you, that's someone we used to work with, I'm just telling you, who she was at home, her boyfriend was away and she was in her room

and she was deciding to watch something maybe a little bit adult on her phone. And she was like, Ben, was she watching the Busty Brazilians franchise that you're such a fan of? I don't know what she was watching. Remember we talked about that yesterday and you shed a tear in Busty Brazilians number four?

I don't know why I agree with you saying that, but anyway. She was watching something on her phone, she couldn't hear it, she's like, this is weird, I'll crank it up

a little bit more. Couldn't hear it at all and then, you know, her flatmate, she could hear laughter from the lounge. Oh no.

It was coming through the Uri boom. In the lounge, there was like eight of them in the lounge sitting around listening and then she came out

and had to collect it and they were like, listen, I don't know why she didn't just disconnect her phone and not go out there you would just want the ground to swallow you

at that point eh because that you that wasn't me she had to burn the house down after that it was the only solution we apologise in advance it's Jono and Ben

on the hits what's that oh no shut up oh now what It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Oh, what's that? Oh, no. Shut up. Oh, now what? Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening. We are up, and just like when other people are up,

we like other people to get up as well, you know? You never want to be the only one up. It's everybody's dream to be woken up for a $40 Hell pizza, and we wake you from your dreams for this amazing prize. Joining us from Otaki, Nikita, welcome to the New Zealand's breakfast. The New Zealand's breakfast. It's good to have you on. Hey guys. How are you? You're near the Tararoa Range, is there

in Otaki? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, nice and cold. Yeah, lovely array of marais around the area. You can go for a windswept walk as well. It's a nice beach. Otaki Beach is lovely. It's got an information centre.

Okay, I feel like you're just googling things about it now. And a wide variety of... It's got a beach. It's got a beach and a wide variety of shops. Did I say the beach? I thought I said the beach. Anyway, I'll just shut up. Jono, you do it. Hey, Nikita, what do you do, mate?

I'm a plumber and gas sitter. All right, now you're up early, obviously. You're heading off to work, but your soon-to-be husband, Chris, is currently asleep. Yep. Then we're going to call him. Ask him four questions for $40 worth of hell pizza. What does Chris do in Otaki?

He's a builder. Jeez, you guys are going to have the handiest house in town. Yeah. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris Chris Chris Chris it's John or Ben from the Hits radio station

grunt if you're semi-conscious he's here he's here this is the rude awakening you've got a quiz you can win some hell pizza

if you answer some questions by the way Nikita's on the phone too. How we going? Here we go. Here we go. He's on fire. All right, your first question.

How many children do Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have together? A, 6, B, 26, or C, 76? Good. Well done, yes. Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Vivian, Knox, and Shiloh. Oh, there you go. That's the line up there, all of your favourite kids. The Australian soap Home and Away is set where?

A, Summer Bay, B, Bummer Bay, C, Gummer Bay. A. There we go, Summer Bay. Yeah, Summer Bay. It's my wife's dream to visit the Summer Bay. Is it an actual place? Yeah, well, it's a beach. I don't know if it go, Summer Bay. Yeah, Summer Bay. It's my wife's dream to visit the Summer Bay. Is it an actual place? Yeah, well, it's a beach. I don't know if it's called Summer Bay.

Yeah, right, yeah. But you can go and watch the thing, and she's like, I want to go on the tour, and I was like, please don't make me do that. Ranger, Focus, and Cougar are types of what? A, male strippers, B, Ford motor vehicles, or C, yoga manoeuvres?

Oh, A sounds tempting, but it has to be B. The Ranger Focus and Cougar would be a great line-up for strippers. It probably is as well, you know, to be honest. And very topical here, actor Benedict Cumberbatch, who's in the Hawke's Bay at the moment. His full name is what? A, Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch, B, Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch, or C, Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch, B, Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch, or C, Pope Benedict Cumberbatch?

I'll go with B, lad. B, Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch. Well done. Well done. You've got $40 of our Hell Pizza vouchers coming your way. Oh, you legend. Hey, Nikita, what do you want to say to your soon-to-be husband? See you Saturday.

See you Saturday. Why aren't you guys seeing each other before Saturday? Well, we're getting married on Saturday, so. Oh, wow. Oh, that's exciting. Yeah, not too bad. Is everything all teed up? Anything you need us to do last minute?

Oh, you know, bring the piss. Good timing, because it's just Friday it clicks over to 100 people, right? Yeah, I know, but I was looking forward to the 10 people. Oh, so just say, hey, look,

we planned this beforehand. Sorry, guys. We've got to be safe. Well, we only decided last week to get married this week, so you know. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, well, congratulations. I don't want to say this is quite last minute spur of the moment, but that's awesome. It's all right. Don't worry. I'm not pregnant.

How are you organising a wedding in two weeks? It must be very stressful. Well, it is, especially because now, well, my mum's in hospital at the moment. She's all right, but hopefully she can get out by Saturday. Oh, my goodness. What an amazing end to the phone call. Yeah. All the best for Saturday.

I hope your mum can be there, and I hope it's a wonderful day. Yeah, thanks, guys. Good luck for Saturday, guys. And you've got Hell Pizza to feed the guests now. Yeah, I know. Yes, catering done. Thanks, guys.

Thanks to Hell Pizza as well serving the best damn pizza in this lifetime and next. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook.

Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz Yeah, from Kevin Hart to Kerry Woodham to Kim Kardashian West to Producer Juju's all over them. We've had a light dusting of Kerry Woodham based gossip though.

Yeah. Even though it's Kerry McIver now isn't it? It's Kerry McIver. Maybe need to go up to SSZB and just, you know, hunt her out a bit. Get some talkback gossip in here Producer Juju. So, Simon Cowell has revealed that he has not used his mobile phone in three years. And this is the reason why. Very simple. One morning I woke up and I've got 5,200 messages.

And I realised it was actually stopping me from working or living properly. So I just turned it off. And I love it. Jeez, do you expect, it's what you expect from the guy who's worn the same style T-shirt for the last 20 years. My God, I know.

How does 50 messages wake up in the morning? Yeah. Imagine how many people have died in his life and he doesn't know. I don't know, his family might have called him. Things that have happened. How do people get hold of him? I guess if they need to get hold of him,

they get hold of him. Email and all that stuff to get hold of him, they get hold of him. Email and all that stuff. He said that he's used Zoom a lot over this time and he probably will continue to use Zoom because it's so effective for catching up with family and things like that. We spoke to Zoe Bell and she was like, Quentin Tarantino, the director, doesn't have a cell phone. He doesn't even hardly use email.

Yeah. That's when you've hit the big time, eh? Where you're like, you can only get hold of him if you travel to the woods in his cabin. He sits in a cabin all alone waiting for his next project. So Bill Murray, the famous actor, he used to, I don't know if he still does, he used to not have a phone, email, whatever. So if you wanted him for a movie script, you had to send the script to a PO box.

Really? And on his own time, he would go down and check it. And then if he liked it, he'd get back to you. But he was saying, I saw him on Letterman or something, he was saying he missed a couple of roles he he liked it he'd get back to you but he was saying I saw him on Lenerman or something he missed a couple of roles he really liked because he hadn't checked

the PO box and I went down there and he goes oh this looks great sorry they filmed that like a year ago time for my annual clearing of the PO box

oh boomers I missed out on Titanic yeah one of these great roles you couldn't be without a phone you guys could could you? Oh, no.

Oh, if I was... It's quite refreshing not having it. Yes, yes. Like, if I was going away, or like you say, even though you guys hate tramping or something, if I was going away on a weekend walk or something, I could leave my phone at home and be okay with that. But not for a long time, gosh.

I'm a millennial, what do you expect? Yeah, Ben, you're on your phone all the time, eh? You couldn't be without it. Get a little bit anxious when you don't have it. You've got a love-hate relationship with your phone. You're on it all the time but then you don't trust it. You're like, you leave it in another room. Yeah, I do. You treat him mean, keep him keen.

He's worried about the raise that is giving off overnight. Yeah. I'm very suspicious of it but I keep it around. Keep the enemies close. You know what I mean? And that is five things to pack and save. And you can check Stickman out

on Instagram at instickman. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from six on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.