Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - May 29 - Six60's Matiu Walters, News In Beeps, We're Giving Away Green Queens!

Episode Date: June 1, 2020

We're giving away Green Queens to celebrate the Queens Birthday WeekendTohu Harris called inBoss Todd helped a burglar escape!We want to hear your almost famous names...SpySix60's Matiu Walters called inThe lengths you go to as a parentThe A To Z Of New ZealandNews In BeepsScrolling Through Your FeedControversial Call-OutsSpySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. On a Friday, heading into a long weekend here in New Zealand. And we're working in this new building, and sometimes I go into the bathroom here and our show is playing. Well, is that a good thing or a bad thing, to have your show being played in the bathroom? I've never had that before. Well, I've never heard it played anywhere else in the building, so I'll take the bathroom.

Okay, so that's what I'm... Was it both male and female? Have you checked both? No, I haven't checked both. Just know, I'd like to know the listenership of the cubicles. So I'm like, is it a bad thing or is it a good thing for our show to be played in the bathroom? That's my question. Well, yeah, I'm assuming it's a great thing because it doesn't get played out in reception.

It doesn't get played in the foyer. It doesn't get played anywhere else. It doesn't get played out in the management office. But it seems quite often when you go to the bathroom during the show, our show is playing. Oh you should check our ratings in the bathroom. Sky high, we're number one bathroom listening on this show. Here at NZME. Number one while you're doing number two. We have got a big show today, we've got Machu from 660, lead singer of 660. How well does he know his own songs?

We test them today. As well as that, Awari Tohu Harris ahead of their first game of the weekend. And we give away money to everyone. And I can't forget about it. Oh, almost Harry Styles joins us on the show. Enjoy that in the podcast. More painful than your alarm clock.

It's Jotterwood Band on the hits. It's Queen's birthday weekend and we have the opportunity right now to win you guys 20 bucks. Painful than your alarm clock. It's Jotterwood Band on the hits. It's Queen's birthday weekend, and we have the opportunity right now to win you guys 20 bucks. Green Queens heading into the weekend for every caller. If we can nail the royal family tree, because we got called out by our producer, Juliet, early in the week saying,

we don't deserve to have this holiday on Monday because we don't know enough about the royals. No, you guys need to learn your stuff. You work on the hits. You live in a country out of the Commonwealth. You have to know the Royals. No, you guys need to learn your stuff. You work on the hits. You live in a country out of the Commonwealth. You have to know the Royal family. Juliet, do you know we slave our butts off for four hours a day

talking words into microphones sitting in a lovely temperate air-conditioned studio. If we... No one deserves a three-day weekend more than us. It's a really hard life. On the cold face.

We're in the trenches every day, mate. Anyway, well, they say money doesn't grow on trees. Well, let's see if money grows on this royal family tree. What we've done is created a framework for ourselves. Yes, because we don't know what the royal family, we've been struggling to remember it. And so we've created a song with the help of Laura

from the 3pm Pickup, Laura McGoldrick. In fact, she's even got a wee message for us, apparently. Jono and Ben, it's Laura from the Pickup. I am disgusted at your lack of knowledge around the royal family. I am a royalist through and through, and I am appalled, but here to educate you as we head into Queen's birthday weekend. Lovely. She sounds great in reverb as well.

Like she's in a hall. Sounds very godlike almost. So what she's done is she's sung a version of Lord's Song Royals about the royal family, and we need to insert the blanks, basically put the names in as we go through the royals, from the Queen and Philip all the way through their kids and their kids. And if we nail this, we've got the royal family tree. And we give away green queens to every caller today.

That is $20. Imagine what you can buy with $20. Anything. As long as it's below $19.99, you can buy it. Yeah, you can buy it. Or you can put it towards purchases that are more than $20.

Thank you. Yeah, I mean, this is money and how you can use it. It's a very versatile form of currency. Okay, so we're going to go one for one, Jono. You fill in the blanks. Okay. You go first.

We've practised this. So we're going to start from Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip. Philip. And then we're going to go through their kids and then their kids' kids. Okay. Ready to go? Okay, you're the judge. Okay.

Never seen Queen Elizabeth in the flesh. Good start. Across the Commonwealth and around the world. Played by Dame Helen Mirren. Quietly, with dignity. In the movies. Slightly irrelevant. Buckingham is her address. Quietly, with dignity. In the movies. Slightly irrelevant. Buckingham is her address.

Heard the Queen marry. But for now, I send my thanks. She married Philip. The Queen has tolerance and abundance. Who said some odd stuff. And I just heard that I worked in a club. And he asked, what, a strip club? But all the kids are like.

Prince Charles. Great ears. Edward. No one cares, princess. Anne. Andrew. Don't mention his Anne Andrew Charles married Ty

Harry and Wills Camilla Fergie Andrew Beatrice and Eugenie Now Wills saw Kate birthed George Charlotte and Louis

Meghan and Harry Louie. Duke and Dutchess. My favourite. The Rios. Rios. It's a tight line of blood. Megan and Harry. Said you get stuffed. We're taking Archie. To Canada. Zara. Marry the bald guy.

Bald guy. With the bums from rugby. She's got a brother whose name is Pete. They rule, they rule, they rule. Is that right? Yes. And that's the Royal Family Tree. We've done it.

I think we did it. New Zealand, money for every caller. 0800 the hits. Let's open the cash line. Cash is flooding out of the cash dam. Wow, we did it. I'm so proud of you. We did it.

So as long as it's in a comical song parody form, we know the Royals. If we ever bump into any of them, we can vaguely chat around their cousins and other family members and pretend we know the Royals. If we ever bump into any of them we can vaguely chat around their cousins and other family members and pretend we know

the kids. 0800 the hits who wants to win money right now? Let's go to New Plymouth Claire's on the phone welcome to the New Zealand welcome to the New Zealand

breakfast. He's all flustered. I'm flustered. Oh she's hung up. Let's go to the next caller 0800 the hits why are they purple? What does purple mean? Purple means Ben's talking to them. Oh right. There we go. Let's go to the next caller. 0800, the hits. Why are they purple? What does purple mean?

Purple means Ben's talking to them. Oh, right. There we go. Who's this? Good morning. Who is this? Jenny. I'll tell you who this is.

This is the lady who's going to give us her 00 account because we're putting a green queen straight into it, Jenny. Oh, thank you. I've got another question, though. Okay. We're kind of hoping... I haven't received a card. Jesus, Jenny, mate.

Jenny, we just gave you $20. I'm really sorry to hear about that, Jenny. We'll just put you on hold. We'll get one of our producers to sort it out. Okay, thank you. Jenny, mate, I just gave you $20. She was ringing about something else. She's like, great, I've got $20.

I'm still waiting on a prize. Anna, welcome. You're on the air. Hi. How are you? Are you missing a prize or do you want $20? No, I want to win $20. Yay, you got $20.

There's the nice moment we were hoping for. Well done, $20. Heading into Queen's birthday weekend. Not a morning person. Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, last night was the first NRL league game happened in Australia.

The first sport, I think, combat sport to happen anywhere in the world, right? And they had sound effects because no crowd in the stadium. And a great solution from the NRL. Listen to this, you can't even tell. Jennings, Michael Jennings, back towards the centre of the ground, look out, here he goes!

Easy! Really clever. Sounds good, eh? The only person sweatier than the players is the poor sound effects person, pushing 300 sound effects throughout the game. They just pressed the wrong one, you're like, oh no, I'm doing this, I should be... And the Warriors, the our league side here in New Zealand, they really have become the darlings of the NRL because they've made a huge sacrifice to players. They've gone to Australia.

They've left their families behind, potentially up to six months. They don't know when they can get home. The NRL's locked them away in Tamworth. It's almost like the NRL's wanting us to forget about them, but we will not forget about the Warriors. No, that's right. They've got their first game on Saturday,

and joining us ahead of their first game is Warriors staff forward Tohu Harris and Tohu, it must be tough. You guys have headed to Australia, away from your families, potentially six months. We're really thinking of you guys. Yeah, it's a lot of us are finding it quite hard to be away from our

families. Hopefully it's not too much longer, but today's a bit of a hard day for myself. It's my son's birthday today so first birthday bit of missed of his so yeah, missing home today. I get real

tired being around a lot of people so I spend most of my time at home with my wife and son so yeah, that's going from doing that most of the time to not seeing them at all. Yeah, I find that. Your son, I was reading your son,

he wanted to go on the plane with you to Australia when you were going. I mean, that's just heartbreaking stuff, not knowing when you're going to see him again, I guess. Yeah, the weeks leading up to us leaving, he just refused to talk about it, refused to acknowledge it. On the way to the airport, the first time he spoke about it,

he started saying that he was coming with me, so it was a bit hard. Oh, mate. Jeez, the sacrifice you guys have made. When you come home from, obviously you guys went in for a meeting at the Warriors and they're like, okay, guys, go with us on this.

We're going to go missing for six months. When you come home and pitch that to the family, how does that conversation go? Yeah, it was a bit tough. We were sort of expecting it. We Zoom call after Zoom call nearly every day for a few weeks, and it was expected and inevitable, but, yeah, it still didn't make it any easier.

We've got Tohu Harris with us from the Warriors. Got their first game this weekend in the NRL. Now, you've obviously spent a lot of time alone in a hotel room. What has been the one act you've done and you're like, God damn it, I'm bored? Have you rearranged the little coffee sachets and that thing above the fridge? Oh, well, I don't have any more snacks, but when I did, being in the room by yourself,

like I had to sort of separate them. I had to put some in places where it sort of made it as hard as possible or out of reach as possible. I had to make it an effort to actually go and get some because it was too accessible. Don't want to eat the soggy chips I left in the toilet. So I found getting past that, it's better to just not have any. Now, Tohu, I'm a big Warriors fan.

We came to one media press conference a few years ago. We'd never been to one before. And I got a selfie with you. And then afterwards, I was like, oh, maybe that wasn't the done thing. I mean, how many other media are getting selfies with you at press conferences? None, probably. This is why you'll never make it as a journalist. I was just like, oh, maybe that wasn't the done thing. I mean, how many other media are getting selfies with you at press conferences? None, probably. No, this is why you'll never make it as a journalist. I was just like, oh, God, it's Tony Harris.

I'm a big fan. Can I get a selfie? You must remember that fondly, Tohu. He must have been a skinny, skinny white man. He's a fully grown man, but he's got the size of a boy's body coming to get a photo. You probably thought I was a little kid. It's actually good to have a bit of a change up. Those things can get a bit stale so

it's good to have a bit of a change up in those sorts of environments. I'm going to go on record and say this now because at the end of the NRL season, Ben you'll be like, Jono you're an oracle. What's happened here is you guys have sacrificed so much of your

personal lives. This is going to be sacrificed so much of your personal lives. This is going to be the golden story of the NRL. They're going to turn this into a movie. In fact, I would like to copyright the rights to that film. You're going to, okay. Okay, you're over there now. You're going to win the grand final. Okay, well, who would play you in the movie, Tohu Harris? It would probably be some extra with very few lines.

Is it weird playing in front of no one? Because you guys had a game before lockdown, right, in front of no crowd. That must be a really weird feeling, running out into an empty stadium. Yeah, it's a little bit different, but it sort of takes you back to when you're younger. I guess you probably had a bigger crowd because you had families there when you were younger. Do you want me to, I can just grab your email,

I can send you some YouTube links to some sound effects that you can play on your phone, like crowd going cheering or booing, the opposite, and you can just play that on the field. As you play. That wouldn't be too bad. We actually had some non-playing players sitting in the crowd cheering for us, which was a bit strange. There's a lot of pressure on the reserves, isn't it,

to really boost the atmosphere this year at the NRL games. They're going to have to put in the hard yards, that's for sure. Yeah, I've heard, I don't know if this is true or not, but because we have restrictions of the amount of people we're allowed at games, the 18th and 19th,

like, man, the two guys and 19th, like man, the two guys that have to warm up but don't play, I think they have to be the ball boys. Oh, really? Yeah. Man, the NRL is going back to grassroots. Aren't they, just? And what, you have to share the player of the day trophy around?

Yeah, get a pie and a drink. Yeah, some halftime oranges. Togo Harris, thank you again from New Zealand for what you guys are doing right now. We really do admire what the Warriors are doing and good luck for this weekend. We'll all be cheering you on. Thank you very much and thanks for having me.

Good on you, Tohu. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. New Zealand doing such a great job here getting rid of COVID-19. Only eight active cases. And basically from the Waikato down south, no cases at all. Bloody North Island, eh?

I hate the North Island. You're like, you're always flying the flag for the North Island. Auckland's the greatest city in the world. Not now. I'm a South Islander now. Oh, good. But, you know, well done, guys. It's awesome. Open up the borders, I say. Open up the borders. Just everyone. Get'm a South Islander now. Oh, good. But, you know, well done, guys. It's awesome.

Open up the borders, I say. Open up the borders. Get the Italians in here. No. The Brazilians. No, it's heartbreaking what's happening overseas. And, yeah, no, but I think it's great that we live in this New Zealand. We feel very lucky to be here right now.

Well, I think we're going to be fine if we don't open up the borders, right? Yeah. We'll just spend our money here in New Zealand. Now everyone wants to open up the borders. Yeah. Turn off the internet. We'll just live in our weird little world in New Zealand for Now everyone wants to open up the borders. Turn off the internet and we'll just live in our weird little world in New Zealand for the rest of our lives.

Hey, yesterday we were talking about have you ever stopped a crime? And producer Humphrey captured a peeping Tom in the act. And we apologise to all of the Toms out there because we've besmirched the good name of Tom. You're not all peepers. Half of you are, but anyway.

Now, after the radio show, you were talking to our boss, Boss Todd, about his crime-fighting abilities. Yeah, so are, but anyway. Now, after the radio show, you were talking to our boss, Boss Todd, about his crime-fighting abilities. Yeah, so Todd, he comes from Australia and he was working at a station. It was a little bit in the outback. And he was hosting the breakfast

show. And so he turned up one morning to the radio station in the hallway. He said there was just stuff strewn everywhere. And he didn't think much of it because, you know, it's just a radio station, there's stuff strewn everywhere all the time. There's always parties, all sorts of stuff, you know? There's messy people. Yeah, that's right. And so then he just walked straight into the radio studio, wasn't thinking

anything of it. And then he was like, I'll get a coffee before the show starts. And then he walks into the kitchen and there's a guy standing there with a giant duffel bag, but full, duffel, sort of over his shoulder, sort of like a cartoon, like the Hamburglar from McDonald's. And he's like, oh, hello, mate. And the guy's like, g'day, mate. And they're having a lovely conversation. Oh, that's good.

And Todd said, oh, you know, there was a few people that lived in the bush out there. And he's like, would you like me to call you a cab? Todd said this to the guy with the duffel bag. This is lovely. And the guy with the duffel bag goes, oh yeah, that'd be lovely, mate. Thank you. And he's like, okay, where are you heading? Got his address.

Gave him a taxi chit. Gave him a taxi chit. And ordered him a taxi. And then he went on his way. He was a nice guy, sort of. And then everyone came in at nine o'clock and Todd had finished his breakfast show and the staff are in a mad panic.

They're like, where's all the computers? Where's my wallet, my handbag? Everyone's personal items are gone. Pretty much the whole radio station had been stripped. There was nothing left apart from the carpet on the floor. Todd came out. And he's like, what's going on, guys? And the boss is like, we've been completely robbed.

There's nothing left here. He's like, oh. And I think it all was. It was all busy. You see anything unusual. You're like, I did order a cab for someone. Yeah. And the boss is like, what?

And he's like, I even gave him a taxi chit. A taxi chit. Gave the guy a taxi chit to pay for the taxi. And so, yeah, but good on, Todd. You never know when you can win over a listener. He'd probably be a listener for life in that guy. Loyal listener. Loyal listener.

He said, that was so good, I robbed the place and they pay for my taxi fare. Yeah, I think Todd even did up a convenient Microsoft Excel spreadsheet with everyone's PIN numbers and the taxi shit. Oh, here you go, mate, just in case you need those. Do you want to hand carry all that stuff? Yeah, I'll give you that. I'll take these computers, I'll put these in the boot for you.

No worries. Oh, very funny, very funny. And if you know Todd, only poor old Todd would do that. Stick around. Mind you, when you walk in, here's the thing, when you walk into a radio station, anyone could be here and you wouldn't look twice. There could be a satanic goat burning ritual happening.

I'd be like, oh, that's a sales team building thing. Or ZM are doing something weird this morning, you know? Yeah, you don't question anything. Yeah, the amount of odd stuff. So there you go. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. I met a painter yesterday and he handed me his card.

And do you know what his name was? No. Well, no, you probably wouldn't. I don't actually. You told me the story. Yeah, you do. You do. But good acting.

Good acting. His name is Robert DeLero. Robert DeLero. Both a D-I-L-E-R-O. So almost famous. Almost a grumpy. Almost Robert DeNero. Yeah, almost a grumpy old actor, Robert DeNero.

And he did a wonderful job. He really assumed the role of a professional painter, this guy. I'm really getting into character. It was very convincing. And overalls. He must get that all the time, though, the painter going, yeah. Yeah, I know. He handed the card and I was like, Robert De Niro.

And he was like, I've rolled his eyes. I'm going to have to have this conversation again. But there must be, we were thinking about it yesterday, there must be people out there that have names that were almost, almost famous, like so close to a celebrity's name. Yeah, have you got maybe a name like, I don't know,

Barrett Globama? No, this doesn't sound like a real name. My name's Barrett Globama. Would you take a Barry Obama? Yeah, okay, or like a Jacinda Hardern. Okay, yeah. That could work.

Moprah Binfrey. Okay, or real names close to that. Someone that you know, Producer Juliet, very close to Katy Perry's name. Kate Perry. A girl who went to my school called Kate Perry. No joke. It would be the bane of poor Kate Perry's life, wouldn't it?

Because it's a copy and paste conversation. Like I saw, I looked into Robert DeLero's eyes and I could see a part of him die as I started to engage in this conversation. So if you want to give us a call, if you have a name that's almost famous or perhaps you know someone like Jono Knows the Painter that's almost famous.

And remember, every caller wins a Green Queen 20 bucks if you get on the air today. Maybe you're called Ed Shurran. That could work. We actually looked on the white pages, didn't we, Ben? Yeah, and we've got a text right now that we're going to call back. Someone whose name is almost Harry Styles.

Yeah. Let's go now. G'day, Harry. Hello, is that Harry Miles? Just hang on a sec. I'm real noisy. Real noisy where I am. Harry Miles.

Yes, yes, it is indeed. Not only Harry Miles, almost Harry Styles. Almost. It's John O'Brien calling from the Hits radio station. Almost Harry Styles. Almost. It's John O'Brien calling from the Hits radio station. We're doing Almost Famous Names, and we stumbled across yours. Oh, goodness. Yeah, I'm right up there, eh? Yeah, goodness, yeah.

Friend of the famous of the stars. Yeah, and so, well, you know, what advantage in life has this given you, almost being Harry Styles? Counting from the top now, that would be none. None? None. I guess Harry Styles is probably a newish thing in your life. There would have been a time there being Harry Miles wouldn't have been your own.

You would have been the best thing. You almost, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bit of a moment. You have to count up the good things in your life, and hey, that has to be one of them, doesn't it? This is a moment for you? Yeah. This is a moment?

Yeah. Yeah, the low-rent radio announcer's calling you up. Do you sing? Do you play guitar like Harry Styles? Oh, no, unless, no. My talents are few. I talk a lot. I'm very good at talking.

I can run off at the gulp. But, yeah, I'm hardly a musical person. I can tell, and I know this is just a phone call, but I can tell you're just as handsome as Harry Styles. Oh, look, the kid knows nothing, mate. He's got nothing on me. He's got nothing on you. Yeah, forget about Harry Styles.

I mean, I can feel the sexual energy bursting through the phone line. God, Ethan, where's this conversation going to lead? What is this going to lead to, eh? I feel like I need to start paying for this phone call. Hey, Harry Miles. Harry Miles, he's almost famous. Thank you so much for talking to us. It has been my great pleasure

you guys have a great day and yeah keep it all happening and if you do get hold of that other Harry just let him know

that he has a lot to aspire to he does he's our second favourite Harry you'll always be our first gosh gee

you guys alright Harry Miles that's it mate rightio Brendan's with us from Hamilton welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast Brendan it's great Gosh, gee, you guys. All right, Harry Moss. Thanks so much. Rightio. Brendan's with us from Hamilton. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Brendan, it's great to have you with us.

Who do you know that's almost famous? I went to school with a Pete Jackson. Oh. Probably better than a Michael. Yeah, he was no actor either. So he wasn't quite the Peter Jackson. No, no way. I've caught up with him recently and he's going a bit

bored, so we've got a nickname for him now, Porno Pete. Okay. Why don't you call me Porno Jono, Ben? Oh, okay. Yeah, here last night, it's a bit of a situation. That's a situation, Brent. That's a situation.

Yeah, well, okay, I think I'm allowed to get out of this situation now and move on, but thank you for your call. I appreciate it. $20 coming your way. It's a bit of a situation. We've found ourselves in a... I've never heard it described like that, but yes, you're right. Ronnie's on the phone.

Happy Friday, Ronnie in New Plymouth. How are you? Good. How are you? Oh, we're doing well. It's lovely to talk to you. Who do you know that's almost famous? Well, I'm New Plymouth. How are you? Good. How are you? Oh, we're doing well. It's lovely to talk to you. Who do you know that's almost famous? Well, I'm married to Ricky Martin. And you sound like one of Ricky's types. Trust me, though, he doesn't quite shake it like the real McCoy. He's not living the vida loca?

No, he's not. But he's had his moments. One day he was overseas. He was late for a flight, and they were calling his name, well, Ricky Martin, please get to the aeroplane. And everybody was in the plane, were anxiously waiting to see him,

and unfortunately it was not the real McCoy. It was a real letdown. Guys, I'm here, Ricky Martin. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So good, your $20's coming your way. Enjoy Queen's birthday weekend. Thank you, you too. Good on you, Ian. Sorry. So good. Your $20 is coming your way. Enjoy Queen's birthday weekend. Thank you, you too. Good on you, Ronnie.

And let's take it out with Aaron from also in New Plymouth. Oh, what's that? Sorry, Judy, you're finger pointing. What do I need to do? Go to line one. Oh, sorry. Jackson, welcome. How are you?

Oh, good, thanks. Good to have you on the air. You sound suspicious. Almost famous. Oh, myself. What's your name? My name's Jackson Nicholson. Jackson Nicholson.

Jack Nicholson. Wow. We're talking. This is the only time we'll ever get Jack Nicholson on the show. Do you feel obligated to call yourself Jackson just to differentiate yourself or to make yourself different from the actor? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, okay. All right, well, enjoy. I've got Jack Nicholson, $20 coming your way. Thanks, Sue. You could forge quite important documents pretending to be Jack Nicholson,

couldn't you? You could really just scam Jack Nicholson, couldn't you? Yeah. If the person reading the documents may be a conjunctivitis and couldn't read properly, Jack Nicholson works well.

Thank you very much. 0800, that's the telephone number. You can get a conjunctivitis and couldn't read properly, Jack Nicholson works well. Thank you very much. 0800, that's the telephone number. You can get a hold of us at any time. Aaron, welcome from New Plymouth. G'day, mate. How are you? Almost famous. What is it?

Yeah, well, the guy's name that I know, I don't know if he's the guy that I'm comparing him to who's famous, though, but the guy that I know, his name's Ben Joyce. Ben Joyce. No way. He's scraping the barrel if he's benefiting off Ben Joyce. Yeah, I need to get a bit more famous for him to have any sort of benefit. That's correct. Well, Ben Joyce, there we go.

Don't you love it how Aaron's agreeing with you? That is correct. Yes, you are right. Oh, I love your call, Aaron. $20 a green queen heading into Queen's birthday. It's all yours. We're going to put it in your account. Nice work, team.

Just give us your number now. On here in your cross pin. And maybe Ben Joyce can fill in when I'm away. That'd be good. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Buy the WhatsApp by doco.nz. You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Spy, know what's up?

Spy.co.nz. Producer Juliet sleeping in a bed of scandalous celebrity gossip. And just to be clear, not sleeping with the celebrities. No, not quite. To get this information. No, no, no. But comes with the latest spy gossip news. Gary Busey said that he, 30 years ago when he had his motorcycle crash,

he had brain surgery, died during it, and then came back to life. So he claimed that he saw the light at the end of the tunnel, the angels and all of that jazz, and he said that he had the option to continue on or come back to life, and he chose to come back to life, and here he is today.

For those that don't know Gary Busey, Ben, you had an interaction with Gary Busey. Yeah, so he's an actor. He was in things like Lethal Weapon, Point Break as well. You'd know him if you saw him. He's one of those guys. He's a very distinctive guy. Life is winning the match against Gary Busey. I mean, he looks like me on a good

day. I think he was on one of those Apprentice shows with Donald Trump. He's quite a character. He's just out there. He's full on. When I was trying to interview him, because I went to his house and interviewed him at his house, and he was just, like, just pulling out all sorts of, he had a cigar, he was, like, trying to, you know, playfully trying to burn me with the cigar.

Really? He had toys, he was prodding me with these toys. It was a full act. It was like, oh, you know, it was full of, like, really entertaining as through the whole thing, like, messing around with me the whole time. And I was like, wow, this is incredible. And then afterwards, when we went to leave, we realised that our lights had turned,

had basically blown a switch in his house for his garage, so he couldn't turn those lights back on. We had to go find the fuse box going through. I can imagine Gary Busey wouldn't take that well. So we started moving stuff, trying to find the switch box. He's like, don't touch that, it's a surfboard from Point Break. You're like, oh my God. So he's got this movie memorabilia.

And it was quite funny seeing him because he was so crazy and out there during the interview. And then he sat down in his garage because his wife was coming home. And he's like, this is not good, guys. This is not good. We need to find this fuse.

My wife is not going to be happy. Serious moment at the end. Gary's like. He was like, just like us, Gary. We understand that, you know, your partner's going to come home, be it male or female, and you're going to get

in a bit of trouble. Chanel's not going to be happy with me. Uh-oh. So he'd gone from, you know, trying to prod me with a cigar to like, this is not good, guys. This is seriously not good.

I'm surprised you were let into his house. Yeah, I know. That's a very shocking thing. Gary Busey's been off the rails for years, hasn't he? Yeah. Mainly thanks to being on the rails as a result. And also tomorrow night,

660's sold out Western Springs show from earlier this year will be broadcast onto TVNZ1 at 8.45pm tomorrow. So if you didn't go to the gig or you did and you want to relive it, you can check it out, TVNZ1 8.45. I've seen the ads for it. They must have got a drone. I noticed they got a drone, lovely drone shot of all the... It looks epic, eh?

It does look epic. And you always get, because you're good friends with Chris Mack from 660, and I always ask him, how much did you make off the $50,000? That's why I'm still good friends with Chris Mack. I haven't asked him. He's never answered that question. How much did you guys make off selling $50,000? You've done it two years in a row.

Why are you still here? You should be retired. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys it's Jono and Ben on the heads today is New Zealand Music T-shirt day

and on TV1 tomorrow at 8.45pm is 660's epic sold out show at Western Springs from earlier in the year and they're also

raising money for Music Helps New Zealand and joining us on the phone right now lead singer of 660 Machu how's it going buddy all good guys thanks for having me on. Hey, anytime, mate. We're desperate to fill airtime, buddy.

We'll have you on every day. Fair enough. I was just thinking, a couple of months ago, you guys played to 50,000 people, and now we can barely hang out with 10 people. It's such a strange thing to happen over just a couple of months. It's wild, eh? I mean, it feels like February was ages ago

because obviously so much has happened in that time. I hope we can get back to that kind of crowd, you know? I'm feeling for your accountant. He's probably hoping you can get back to a 50,000 stadium crowd as well, aren't you? Yeah, I think we all are. All our mortgages are hoping we can get back to a 50,000 seat. Well, actually, speaking of that,

you guys have teamed up with Music Helps Live for the concert this weekend, so people can help support. Because every industry is struggling, and the music industry is one of those industries, right? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you're right that everyone's suffering and that we should do what we can to support, you know,

small business and your local thing, you know, stop lining up at McDonald's and and that we should do what we can to support, you know, small business and your local thing. You know, stop lining up at McDonald's and all that. And we've got Ronald on the other line. He's lawyered up to the eyeballs. But we're really happy to team up with Music Helps. You know, a show like the one we did at Western Springs literally takes hundreds of people months of work to put together.

So, you know, our colleagues and friends in the industry since COVID-19 came around, like, haven't gone. They don't go four days without having a gig, you know, whatever scale it is. And not only have they lost their livelihood, but these are real music people. They love music. So they've been kind of lied. Their livelihoods have been taken from underneath of them. And there's no real hope or real understanding when it's going to return to those kind of glory days. We're happy to team up with Music Helps

and try and raise a lot of money to help out these people that are suffering. Oh, good on you. What a great initiative. And so when the concert's playing out on TV One on Saturday night, people can text as well. They can donate to Music Helps. They can text 660 to 2448.

Do you know we went to Castle Street and we took a photo outside your old flat at 660 to 2448. Do you know we went to Castle Street and we took a photo outside your old flat at 660. What a ramshackle bleak house that was. Did you live in that thing? Yeah, we lived in there. And it's been renovated since then too.

So I walked through maybe a year ago and I was surprised how lush it was in there. New kitchen, new appliances. It was warm. We went there, the kitchen, a new apartment. It was warm. We went there, the front door was just open. It was the middle of the day,

the front door was open. And some guys were like, oh, go on in. And we're like, oh, do you live here? He's like, nah. So then we just, we started walking in there.

We just started wandering around. There was no one in the house. Typical 618H, you know, everyone's welcome. So did you have an open door policy when you were living at the place? I don't think we had a door.

We didn't have a door. We are so proud of what you guys have done since, you know, starting that 660 and flattened Dunedin and now selling out to 50,000 people. You know, that's incredible. But something I found really interesting looking up last night, you guys as a band worked with the All Black Psychologist. Yeah, Gilbert Anoka. Yeah, we Onoka.

We spent a bit of time actually sitting down with him and he shared his wisdom that he's been with the All Blacks so long about the psychology of working as a team, finding roles and be able to use everyone to your advantage to just kind of teamwork. That's the kind of thing they talk about with the All Blacks a lot. That's a really good way to approach it. Plus your tackling is exceptional now. Short ball passes, long balls.

Actually, speaking of greatness, your song, The Greatest, I love the attitude behind that. And it was inspired by Muhammad Ali and the Beatles, right? Yeah, that's right. We walked into the studio. We were working in L.A. And right up the foyer, there was a classic photo of the Beatles, right? Yeah, that's right. We walked into the studio. We were working in LA, and right up the foyer, there was a classic photo of the Beatles and Muhammad Ali. And those two have always been big influences for us.

And so we thought, hey, let's try and make a song that captures that energy of that photo. And then The Greatest was written on that day. I like The Greatest, and I like it because it's so un-New Zealand. I bet if you're in New Zealand, you'd probably have to call it the OK-est or something. Yeah, I think that's also one of the things that inspired us to do it because, like you said, it's not common for us Kiwis to try and, you know, big ourselves up.

But, you know, we think that's something that we should celebrate. It's great. It's good to want to be great and to strive for that. Yeah, I think the song's quite modest in American terms. It'd be like, we're the goddamn awesomest. Yeah. Well,

Murchie, we look forward to catching the concert on Saturday night on one and helping out Music Helps as well. Before we go, we wanted to play a real quick game, 660 songs in six seconds. We want to see how well you know your own songs.

Just play a second of a song and see if you can work out what 660 song it is, all right? W. Well done. Well done. Just play a second of a song and see if you can work out what 660 song it is, all right? Don't be a ruse. Well done. Well done. A second seems quite long, doesn't it?

Here's the next one, Machu. White Line. Two from two. Don't give it up. Oh, geez. He knows his own work. Yeah, how many times have you heard these songs? All right, here's another one.

Vibes. Oh, we were like have you heard these songs? All right, here's another one. Vibes. We were like, he's never going to get that. All right. Is this the fifth one? Yeah. The Greatest. They're getting shorter as well. Too easy.

Too easy. Too easy. All right, we'll give you this one. Oh, shit. Can I get it again no Despacito by Justin Bieber we got you it's always good to catch up buddy

and we are so proud of you at New Zealand you guys are flying the flag for us and I can't wait to see the concert 50,000 people on TV on TV One on Saturday Kia ora this is Toby Mann I, I'm the host of Gone by Lunchtime, a podcast for the spin-off podcast

network all about politics and politicians with me, Annabel Lee-Mather and Ben Thomas, careering wildly from the very serious to the very ridiculous it's not for everyone, I don't think it would be Ellen's cup of tea, but you I reckon will love it. Gone by Lunchtime grab one now wherever you get your podcasts.

Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. So last night about 9.30, I'm putting lovely little daughter Poppy to bed. It's very late. They usually go to bed at 8.30, so I was in charge of the household last night, and I did a very sloppy job. Right. So thanks for running a bit behind dad time.

An hour behind. You know, we were like in a fra bit behind dad time. An hour behind. And a frazzle the whole time. And Oscar had tripped over and smacked his head on the table. I was like, I was having a shambles. Dad's in charge. Things aren't going great, guys. But at least, you know, they're going to bed, right? They're going to bed. It's 9.30 at night.

And she lies down and I was putting the bed tucker in. She's like, I need to find a snail. I was like, what? She's like, I need to find a snail. I said, when? She said a snail. I was like, what? She's like, I need to find a snail. I said, when? She said, now. I was like, what? Why isn't, you've been home since three and you've waited six or seven hours

to tell me you need to find a snail. What do you need to find a snail for? Oh, everyone's counting on me. School project tomorrow. Sam brought this up at all. Sam brought this up at all. I love the way that kids think. You know, it just pops into their brain

way past the time. They haven't figured out how to prioritise things. I haven't brought this up at all. I love the way that kids think. You know, it just pops into their brain way past the time. They haven't figured out how to prioritise things. Like, that should be taught to them day one. The amount of times last year I'd take my kids to school, you know, when we were working afternoons, and you get there and I'd say, oh, by the way, I need guitar today. You're like, oh, well, thanks for telling me this.

At school you have to go back. Or, by the way, it's athletics day. Oh, thanks. You can plan for this stuff. We've walked the whole way here. You can tell us about this. You can do comms, open comms. Yeah, exactly. Just get plan for this stuff. We've walked the whole way here. You can tell us about this. You can do comms, open comms. Let's get this going, free flowing.

But anyway, you know you try everything in your power to get out of it. I'm like, oh, it'll be fine. She's like, it won't be fine. The group's counting on me to find a snail. I was like, so what do you want me to do? She's like, I want you to go out into the garden. You have to find a snail. Pitch black, freezing cold, 9.30.

So I go out there the first time I'm like half-heartedly wandering around the garden looking under a leaf and snails they're everywhere when you don't want

to find them yeah but when you're looking for one gee whiz and so I came back and I was like oh listen mate

there's none out there she's like there'll be one out there and I was like please don't make me do this she's like have you looked under the rocks and the damps and I be one out there. And I was like, please don't make me do this. She's like, have you looked under the rocks

and the damps? And I'm back out there with my phone, the torch on, trying to find a snake. I was like, where are you? Please. I even prayed to God. I was like, please, God. There's a God.

Just give me a snail. Give me a goddamn snail right now. And then I went back in again. I was like, listen, mate, there's no snails. There's no snails. And so I was feeling like I was failing her as a parent. And I was like, here's an alternative. Get up, get in the garden.

So I threw her in the garden. And I was like, put your hands up, like going, ooh, I don't know. And then I took a photo of it. And I was like, well, send that to your teacher and say you had a look and you couldn't find any. Look, it's late. Look how long we've been looking for. It's now three o'clock in the morning.

Pass their bedtime. I'm all because that's how dedicated we are to the school. It's now three o'clock in the morning. Past their bedtime, all because that's how dedicated we are to the school. I even went on to WikiHow, the website, how to find a snail. Have you looked under the sleeve? Have you looked under the sleeve? Snails like to hide in the damp, warm spot. I'm like, gee, what am I doing with my life?

But anyway, poor snails. Didn't find one. Didn't find one, didn't find one. So I don't know how the project's going to go this morning. But snails must just live in a constant fear that they're going to be plucked out of their comfort and put into a school project. And also when you walk along and every now and then

you hear that crunch, you're like, oh. You know, you didn't see them there. You didn't mean to. But it's quite satisfying. Don't you feel like crunch? That felt good. I know. Sort of our place on the bed. This poor snail's like, okay, I'm going to make it, guys. Dave why are you like crunch that felt good I know sort of outpaced I felt bad

this poor snail I was like okay I'm going to make it guys it's clear and it's taken him about three hours to get a couple of metres

I'm coming I'm coming it's been a week here I go guys it's still clear and then you walk out after like two hours you're like crunch

uh oh there we go just all stuck inside the creases in your shoes on the sole what happened to Dan oh yeah well he tried to make it between the wheelie bin and the path. He didn't make it.

I just wanted to eat a leaf and move in excruciatingly slow pace. That's all I wanted to do. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. Every day on the show, we ring a different town or place in New Zealand. We do it alphabetically one a day, and we're still in the A's, about four weeks in. Two and a half years it's going to take us.

I'm going to be eligible for the Super Gold card by the time this finishes. So I'm going to play a game today with you, Ben, because we have done a little bit of research previous to calling all of our A towns so far in A to Z. I'm not going to do any research, and I want you to guess where you think we're going. Arundel. Whereabouts in New Zealand do you think Arundel is? I have no idea. I'm going to go South Island Middle.

I'm going to go East Coast, sort of near Gisborne region. Okay. Yeah. We'll see who's right. We're going to go through right now with Producer Juliet. Karu, Peel Forest School, Lisa speaking. Hi, Lisa. Jono and Ben from The Hits.

It's good to have you on the phone. Thank you. That's when you can say, it's great to have you guys on the phone as well, but I'm not going to peer pressure you into that. Okay. And she's not going to succumb to that peer pressure. I like it.

I like it. Hey, we're phoning every town in New Zealand Town and city in New Zealand There's 570 of them We're doing them alphabetically And you are number 17 on the list It's Arundel, welcome to the show Oh yay Happy days

So where is Arundel, first question Arundel It's Geraldine. South Island. Well done. I said around the middle of South Island. Yeah, well, good guess. I thought it was on the east coast, sort of near Gisborne.

I was completely off the radar. No, no, you've hit the bullseye. Oh, yeah. Well, so what's in Arundel? What's in Arundel? Yeah. Trees, bush. Trees, bush. Okay, good. It sounds depressing. Is there anything rundle. Yeah. Trees, bush. Trees, bush.

Okay. It sounds depressing. Is there anything else there? Yeah. I'm afraid a rundle's a bit, yeah. Yeah. I'm afraid a rundle is a bit, yeah. Not too much to say.

I love that on the sign as I come into town. A rundle, I'm afraid it's a bit, yeah. Yeah. Listen, is it a town that you would drive through and play that hold your breath game in the car and you could make it all the way through the town? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's one of those.

It's a hold your breath town. So there's no real sort of, no stores, no shops, that sort of thing in Arundel? No. No? It's a bit, yeah. No, you've got to get to Geraldine, so you've got to drive a bit further up the road.

Oh, so what are you getting at Geraldine? What magical shops are you getting there? Oh, Geraldine's banging. Got loads of stuff going on. I feel like we should call you when we want to ring someone from Geraldine because you seem a lot more in love with that. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's our little local town, you see. Yeah, so, yeah, you've got everything there. Banging. It is banging. Geraldine. That's their slogan. It's banging. You go through a rundle, called town you see that yeah so yeah you've got everything there bang in it is bang in Geraldine that's their slogan it's bang in you go through a rundle

it's like welcome to a rundle it's a bit yeah but then you hit Geraldine welcome to Geraldine it's bang in it's bang in oh good on

hey lovely talking with you thank you and again you could have said lovely talking with you guys but oh sorry it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you.

You don't have to say that. You've made my day. It's not over, cook it. Yeah, all right. That's enough. You're awesome. You have a great day. Lovely to speak to you.

We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Are you going away this weekend? No, I'm not actually. We thought about you know, I feel like I'm getting older and I'm like, oh, there's going to be lots of traffic on the road. It's going to be more relaxing just being around. Just sitting

in a room by myself. What happened to me? What happened to me? You used to be a fun guy. Oh, the admin are packing the car, going away. Everyone's going to be going away. You know, I'm going to stay around and have a fun weekend. You're a barrel of laughs aren't you? Yeah. But everyone's going to be going away. You know, I'm going to stay around and have a fun weekend. You're a barrel of laughter. Yeah.

But everyone's got to be, oh, you'll be sitting in there in traffic on Monday, won't you? But then you might, you might be a flim flam. Everyone might think that and then the roads might be clear.

Oh, but people, yeah. That's the risk you play. That's the risk you play. People will be cooped up for too long in lockdown so everyone's going away. Nothing better than

sitting in traffic for seven hours on the Southern motorway. Love it. We go on holiday, doesn't stress you out at all. But it is Queen's birthday weekend. Whether you're going away or whether you're staying at home, it's an exciting weekend to look forward to. And Producer Juliette, a few days ago, you were like,

you shouldn't get to enjoy this extra day. No. You were saying that to us because we're not big royal fans. No, and you didn't even know who Prince Louis was on day two of you starting, and I was just horrified. I've never quite made it back from that, have I? Yeah, I'm not against the royals. I just didn't really, you know.

Every time I walk around the radio station, everyone's like, he doesn't know who Prince Louis is. Did you hear? Did you hear he doesn't know who Prince Louis is? It's salacious gossip all around the office. So you gave us a task today, and at 6 o'clock this morning, we 90% nailed it, enough to give away green queens to every caller. That was all we needed.

And we're going to hit the phones right now. I tell you where we're going to go, Christchurch. How's your Friday morning going, Nicola? Not too bad, just heading to work. Oh, good on your checkout, though, don't you? You've checked out now before you've even got to work, right? Yeah, I was listening to the radio, and I thought, oh, I might just stay in the

car for a wee minute. Yeah, turn up late, who cares? She's probably an open heart surgeon or something. Someone's dying on the operating theatre right now while she tries to win $20. She's got 20 bucks here. I actually work at the hospital. Oh, there we go. Well, let's hope no one's dying right now while you win $20, Nicola.

Let's give you a green queen. Cool. Well done. Enjoy your weekend.ola. Let's give you a green queen. Cool. Well done. Enjoy your weekend. Okay. All right, let's take another one. Let's rip through some calls. Let's give away some money, all right?

Okay, Richie, you're in Nelson. We've just deposited a green queenie into your cheque account. Well done. Oh, Ben, Jono, you little buggers. Thank you. Oh, you guys. You guys. you guys.

Enjoy that, enjoy that. Well done. You can get one third of a therapeutic massage at the mall for $20 there. Oh, that's a good tour. Maybe get your forearm massaged or something. Well done, Richie, appreciate that. And we'll take one more. Jake, how's Hamilton this weekend? Always pumping in the Tron, isn't it?

Hey, how's it going? Yeah, pumping, pumping. All right, 20 bucks is all yours. You've got a green queen. Oh, awesome. Cheers. Okay, you've got a queen in your trousers. That's how nice we are to you.

Enjoy your long weekend. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Kia ora, I'm Ash Thomas, and this is the B***hing News. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. What's the first story First story Heidi Klum kisses a **** again on America's Got Talent and insists it's good luck Heidi Klum kisses a

toilet door handle insisting it's good luck You do it every morning Ben and I'm like what are you doing and he hasn't stopped through COVID lockdown he was licking toilet door handles

I'm going to go Jono's bald head for good luck I have no idea Heidi Klum kisses a pig again on America's Got Talent and insists it's good luck. Yes. Kisses a pig? So she's literally, so on America's Got Talent someone had a bunch of pigs on stage

doing tricks and everything and she comes on stage and just kisses it. And it's not the first time she's done it because she's done it before. The pig's bigger than her. That pig is a monster. It's a huge pig. I don't think you'd have no choice. The pig would be kissing you. So she's right in there too. It's not just one of those.

It's the size of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. No one got any points from that one. These are actual news stories obviously that's just happened over the last 24 hours. Groomer gives dogs a much needed trim and the animals are after. Well that sounded rude. See what you've done there. Much needed trim.

The animals are less hairy after. Shaved after? Is that what they've done? Groomer gives dogs a much-needed trim, and the animals are unrecognisable after. Very innocent. Colder after? Yes.

Well, because it was in the UK, and obviously groomers haven't been open, so this groomer now first opens, and all these shaggy-ass dogs have come in. Like, mate, I need a haircut. And they're all puffy and cute now. Oh, yeah, I'm trying to put my dog Bowen for it. Do you take him to where?

We'll take him to a groomer's, like Animates or whatever. But they're booked up for months. Yeah, because same thing, right? What do they do? Do they shave the dogs? Do they? You can decide which part. Oh, you get to decide the haircut.

Oh, yeah, I guess you can. Shave your dog. But no, it's always shave my dog. He gets a little, you know, he gets it. Well, yeah, I guess you can cut it. Shave your dog. But no, I don't want to shave my dog. He gets a little, you know, he gets trimmed, he gets brushed and cleaned and stuff like that. Shave him. It's going to be fun shaved. I don't want to shave the poor thing.

I love seeing a shaved animal. They look so bad. They're hiding behind nothing. I know. It's like, poor thing. I love my dogs. Because they have quite red, pink skin like me. Quite sort of pink, rashy skin.

It's because you've got no hair. It doesn't mean anyone else has hair. I look like a shaved chihuahua. What does he look like? A naked mole rat. A naked mole rat. Oh, you're a naked mole rat. That's you.

That's your favourite animal. And the final story for this is the beeping news. I need more... 93-year-old's Facebook appeal goes viral. I need more... Viagra.

I need more people to vote for euthanasia. Not quite. No. Goodness me. There it is. I need more beer. 93-year-old's Facebook appeal goes viral.

Okay, the opposite of what I said. He wants to keep going. So what she did is held up, adorable, held up a little whiteboard saying, I need more beer, up to her window, and my lord, the people delivered. She got more beer, and there's a photo of her just with stacks of beer outside her house. Oh, look at her drinking.

She went viral for it. She was light like a boss on a porch. Oh, she's got like a whole, they're up to her shoulders. They're all stacked up next to her. I saw a story the other day out of America where a lady, around about in the 90s, had basically got coronavirus and survived in her 90s and she was chugging a beer to celebrate in a hospital bed like a 92-year-old lady.

I was like, that's pretty cool. Amazing. I think we've probably, she said, I need more beer and everyone in the community spirit came out but now she's died of alcohol. Too much beer, too much. Liver disease has got the better of her. That's lots of fun.

That is the Beeping News. We'll play that again. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's lots of fun. That is the Beeping News. We'll play that again. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jodo and Ben on the hits. This is growing through your feed. The amount of YouTube pre-roll ads we've had to sit through just to bring you this news so you don't have to look through your phone.

You just have to wake up and listen to us babble and fumble our way through topical news events. Now yesterday we talked about the two trampers who were found just out of Nelson after 19 days in the bush. Well, someone texted in with a wonderful gag. It was like, oh, they found the lady in the tramper. Would have been a great headline for the Herald Online.

A newspaper hasn't run that headline. There's an injustice in the journalism world. Well, this morning, a lucky teenager has managed to survive a night on the often treacherous Cook Strait in a wooden dinghy. He was rescued by the Coast Guards last night, and thankfully he's fine. And his cell phone was almost running out of battery, but he got in touch with the Coast Guards, and he's all good.

Where was he going? South Island, was he? I think he was going to South Island. Well, he's just hopped in his wooden dinghy. He's like, oh, now's a nice moment to go to the South Island. Yeah, I think so. I heard on ZB this morning as I was driving and the Coast Guard was like, yeah, we found him. And he was pretty relaxed and blasé about the situation.

Oh, really? He basically was just like, oh, it's getting a little bit rough out here. Because it can. It's a very treacherous sea. We went across there in a banana boat a few years ago. So towed behind another boat on one of those comical banana inflatable things. And I was building up to the day. I was super nervous.

Oh yeah, we were YouTubing videos of the inter-islander looking like it had sunk and like the waves were so big you couldn't see the inter-islander

then it came back up over the waves and we're like, oh, we are in for some drama-filled television here that we're filming but then we got out there

and it was... And it was what, like a one in 100 day or something or like it was just like glass on the water which was lovely for me but not so great for TV drama. We had to create drama.

I think I had to throw myself off the banana boat just to pretend that something happened. And the other thing that made me nervous when we did it because we were taking gifts on our banana boat. Things from Wellington to Picton. The things that people wanted. And we had that big, remember that soft toy? The big bear? The big brown bear which is about as big as us.

And we were dragging that behind our banana boat. I'm like, it just looks like a seal. Looks like we're carrying a seal all the way through. A shark's going to come up. Shark's going to come get the seal. And at one stage, a shark did come, but the crew didn't tell us. They filmed it, but they didn't tell us. I was like, oh, thank goodness we survived that.

We were hoping for a little more drama there, weren't we? Well, I was glad. From a safety point of view. From a TV point of view. It was shocking. It was shocking, really. But Picton's lovely

when you come into that little, isn't that a picture? I'd never been there before. It was wonderful. It was lovely. Yeah, no, it was like just a wonderful,

a wonderful boomer tour across the Cook Strait. We hired bikes, we went to vineyards, we did that sort of thing. Magical weekend. Also, scrolling through your feed this morning, these are the things that have happened over the last 24 hours. We hired bikes, we went to vineyards, we did that sort of thing. Magical weekend. Also, scrolling through your feed this morning,

these are the things that have happened over the last 24 hours. The NRL, the league, returned last night. The first contact sport in the world to return post-COVID. And something a bit different with the games last night. Yeah, so there's no crowds, obviously. So they've added sound effects to the coverage, to the TV coverage. It sounds very authentic. Have a listen. So they've added sound effects to the coverage, to the TV coverage.

It sounds very authentic. Have a listen. Channings, Michael Channings, back towards the centre of the ground. Look out, here he goes. He's in. I mean, no one is working harder than the bloody NRL sound effects person. Imagine that, just be sweating for 90 minutes playing sound effects. Like a DJ in a club.

Because a couple of weeks before, you know, everything locked down for COVID, they had games without sound effects. Have a quick listen to this. He has the Fox at O'Car back on the inside, runs towards Jack Williams, stops him and another penalty. Just a little bit lacklustre, isn't it?

You can hear the whistle really loud, but yeah, so they've done a great job. I remember speaking to the telly show, we'd do a live show in front of the audience and we'd always have to bolster the laughs with sound effects.

We'd always pretend, we're like, let's get everyone practising their laughs for later, but it was like, we were just recording them.

We just recorded them and made them laugh at our things. Later on, people would watch it and be going, hey, no one laughed at that.

And everyone's like, yeah! We're like, give it more laughter, give it more laughter. Well done, the NRL. I mean, that's some great improvising, isn't it? It is. Later on in the show, just after seven, in fact, we're going to talk to one of the Warriors players in Australia

ahead of their first game this weekend. Tohu Harris joins us after seven. It's amazing how much you don't actually place, I mean, how much you place on a crowd when you're watching a live event. To create the atmosphere and everything as well. You're right. Very important.

Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, I often like to talk about my dog. I love him. Bo is his name. I feel like you and your dog are a sitcom.

You're your own sitcom. Because you always talk, you say, yeah, he's a bit of a doofus. He's a big, white, fluffy samoyed. If you don't know dogs, it's kind of like a white, fluffy husky. You say he looks like a polar bear. He looks like a polar bear. And the problem is, though, your dog-to-human

weight ratio, the scales are off. He's bigger than you. You can't control him. Your bony little frame can't handle all that dog. He's such a doofus. He's lovable, but he is a doofus. His limbs all have their own brains operating them.

They all operate at a separate... So, yeah, I said a couple of weeks ago we were walking along a boardwalk around by some swampy marsh by our place and Bo, yeah, we stepped aside because that was social distancing as someone walked past with their dog and then my dog, Bo, fell over the boardwalk into the swampy marsh, taking me as well because I was attached to the lead.

He's quite heavy, as you mentioned, so here we go. That dog is the only thing clumsier than Todd Muller's first week as leader of the National Party. Oh, political. Political Zing. I like it. Topical. I love it.

Hey, feel that roasting, Muller? You've got a dog story and a political Zing. I like it. Topical. I love it. Hey, feel that roasting, muller. You've got a dog story and a political zing. I like it. So, yeah, so the dog dragged me into the swamp a couple of weeks ago. That was on a walk. And then yesterday, he's just, and it never ceases to amaze me the things he does, but we were walking along the road.

I was walking to get the kids from school. Me and the dog were walking along the road, and there was another dog on the other side of the road walking along with its owner, probably parallel to us. But they love seeing other dogs. Dogs love seeing other dogs. It's like the highlight of their day. Bo's like looking across, and Bo's like looking,

why is this dog not giving me any attention? Oh, I'm looking, and I can see from about 15, 20 metres that Bo's really like, come on, mate, you look over. This is what dogs do, mate. We look at each other. We sniff each other. I was like, oh, I just started ignoring Bo after after about 20 meters i carried on until i heard this big dunk and i looked over and bosa stopped shaking his head and he walked straight into the bus stop

pole on the street the white pole you could tell he was a little whoa so you're like mate oh i'm making a bit of a battle. I'm like, come on, buddy. You've got to focus. It was probably a hot dog across the road as well. No, he wouldn't look cool. No. It was quite a loud dog.

I'm the poor dog. So anyway, it's always an adventure when I go out with my dog. That's what I like. He's providing so much content for the show. I should print out an IR330 form and get him to fill it out because we need him on the payroll, that dog. Every week you come with a wonderful dog content.

I'm struggling for a radio story. I'm like, let's go for a walk, mate. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Monday, Queen's birthday and we're celebrating because we got the royal family tree nailed earlier in the show. We managed to learn it, Jono and I, so every caller

on the show today wins Green Queens, 20 bucks for your troubles. And about seven o'clock today, we'll give away some more. Controversial call-outs. I like pineapple on pizza. I like the ads that pop up on YouTube. Kiwi onion dip tastes like crap. Controversial call-outs.

Yeah, this is where we discuss Ben's... What? Ben's controversial pro-animal testing stance. See, this is where you say these things. We had a conversation yesterday with the bosses. They're like, people don't know the real you. No. They don't know.

Well, they do now, mate, because you like testing animals. Because you joke about it all the time. Then people are like, you've got kids. You know, you're married with kids and stuff. And it's like, yeah, we are. But they're like, oh, they don't know that part of you. Because you're saying stuff, slander. Slander.

And he likes animals tested. You do, you like the cute little cats with make-ups on their face, testing them with lipstick on their lips. I do not. You're just saying slander. Now, what controversial thing apart from that are you going to say? So what we need to do right now is share your controversial opinion on something and mine.

We debate it and see who you agree with. I'm going to say the pension. The old people who get the pension and work at the same time are clipping the ticket twice. What's wrong with that? Well, technically they're being cared for by the government with the pension. Well, why can't they work?

Because they're taking a job off a bloody lazy millennial. They should move out so a millennial can go in their first job and expect to be general manager. They need to vacate the role. It's the rotation system. No, I think good on them. If they want to work at that stage of their life and keep their brain going, keep active, do that,

and get some money, good on them. They deserve to be paid twice. They've lived their life. Exactly. They've lived their life. Exactly. They've lived their life. Go play some lawn bowls, take a discounted bus ride or a discounted ferry ride or whatever you do. I don't agree with that one at all.

Get paid by the government. Just get paid to live by the government. You don't need to work. You've worked hard enough. Stop. Controversial call-outs because, yeah, I don't agree with that. That's very controversial. Well, when I retire next,

when I hit the retirement age next year, it would be rude of me to continue this job. I need to vacate it for someone with a bit more energy and life and zest in them. Juju, for example. You know?

Juju, yeah. She'd be good. She'd be better here. You know, hazing life. Dead inside. Okay, well, there's Jono's controversial call-out. I'm going to say, and I know it's not quite topical, but it inside. Okay, well there's Jono's controversial call out. I'm going to say,

and I know it's not quite topical, but it got me thinking about with Queen's birthday weekend, Valentine's Day. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. It's not a holiday. If it was a holiday, maybe it'd be fine, but I feel forced to do something on that day. It's such a, what, who came up with this? The card people?

The people that make, you know, cards? This is what he says every time he's about to make love. I feel forced to do this. Amanda? I can imagine it's quite a formal process with you. Good evening. Shake hands. It's such a commercial thing. It's like, I love my wife, but why do I have to get forced

upon this one day and go to a restaurant where everyone's in the same position? No one wanted to be there on that day. And they're charging 15% more, aren't they? Yeah, it takes away the atmosphere on that day and they're charging 15% more aren't they yeah it takes away the atmosphere on that day because you're like you're all here

because you know why we're all here we used to do a thing which I quite liked Amanda and I before kids we used to go the day before and celebrate Valentine's Day

so you'd go to a restaurant and no one else is there yeah so when do you do it now well now we've got kids so we don't do anything no one else we don't do anything

we sit at home we fall asleep on the couch at about 7.35 exactly those sort of romantic gestures oh, now we've got kids. We don't do anything. Anyone else, we don't do anything. We sit at home, we fall asleep on the couch at about 7.35. Exactly, those sort of romantic gestures. So there you go, that's my controversial call out. Mike's actually phoned up and agreeing with you on 0800 The Hits. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast, Mike. You don't think we should have Valentine's Day? No.

Mike, where are you calling from? Like an earthquake or something? Thank you for taking time to call us. You agree with Ben we should can Valentine's Day? I think we should can Valentine's Day. And my thoughts on the pension. Are the old people clipping the ticket twice? Well, they could be, couldn't they?

Yeah, he's not going to agree with that. Too controversial. Mike, you've got $20't they? Yeah. He's not going to agree with that. Too controversial. Mike, you've got $20 for your troubles because every caller gets $20. All right. Thank you. Good on you, mate.

This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating, still pending. It's Jorowyn Manomahat. Buy the WhatsApp by doco.nz. There's nothing that'll get this woman

out of bed more than the fact that she's going to expose the skeletons out of these celebrities' closets. It's producer Juliette. Hello. So Duchess Camilla is the latest celebrity to join Taika Waititi for reading the James and the Giant Peach over Zoom. So he's had a big line-up of guests, including Benedict Cumberbatch.

Yes, I said that correctly today. Well done. So she is the first royal to join. It could be dangerous, the first officer said. That's it. It's a secret weapon. Holy cats. Send a message to the Queen at once.

Great delivery. That's awesome to get it though. That's so good. Every news story I hear about Taika, I'm like, you're getting too good for New Zealand. I know. Like, go. Go spread your wings out there in the world.

Forget about us. I think he has, probably. Yeah. He kind of has. You know, Camilla, as you say, Ryan Reynolds, Bennett at Comeback. Yes. They're all joining one day.

The Hemsworth brothers as well. Oh, what a dream. His contact list. Oh, he loses his phone. Bro, I would love to go through his phone. And in other news, Justin and Hayley Bieber are threatening to sue a plastic surgeon because he claimed on TikTok that Hayley has had plastic surgery. So he showed photos on TikTok of two photos of Hayley at different points in her life

and basically alluded she's had nose job, fillers, skin tightening, everything. And they're now saying now we're going to sue you because you're using my name to promote your TikTok and your business essentially remember Kylie Jenner it was all like

she's like I haven't had plastic surgery I haven't had it for like five years she's stuck with that storyline I know then one day she just gave in

she's like okay you're gone I've had literally every part of my body enhanced if you want to do it each to their own. Exactly.

Okay, so if we were to all get plastic surgery, let's pick one piece on each other that we need to work on. Ben, you pick me. You pick me. No, I don't want to do that. You're perfect the way you are. I love you the way you are. You pick me.

No. Okay, one thing. One thing that you would want to change, I would support you if you did, but if you didn't, you're great. Don't play this role, mate. What is it? I don't know. Hair implants. Hair implants are under your nose.

Oh, now it all happens. Now it floods out. Maybe your nose, alright. You know what I'd change about you guys? What? Absolutely nothing. Oh, don't. Everyone's beautiful. Don't do that. That's what I was trying to say. You're perfect the way you are. Wonderful people. And then you made me back.

But I need to change my nose and get hair implants apparently? Okay. I knew that was going to happen. That's just the first couple of things. That's stage one. Laser tattoo removal. It's like the levels

for lockdown and coronavirus. We're going through levels. You know, that's the first level. That's five things to pack and save and you can check out Stickman on Instagram at instickman. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up

with the boys' weekdays from 6 on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.