Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - November 02 - Producer Juju Ran The Auckland Marathon, The News In Beeps, Your Unusual Gifts...

Episode Date: November 1, 2020

Monday, we meet again. On today's podcast we called a Kiwi cafe in Idaho that sells meat pies (because they traditionally aren't a thing in America) called Kiwi Shake and Bake, to chat about their pies (bet ya they wont be as good as the pies in NZ 😉) and the vibe ahead of the US election! Jono also shared a story about how he had to coach his son's basketball team and how much of a shambles he is as a coach, as you can probably imagine! Finally, as people who have to go to bed early for work, we wanted to see if anyone goes to bed any earlier and WHY!? ENJOYYYYY!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Hey, this is the podcast. Here we go. We're back. Back for another day. How was your weekend, Benjamin?

It was good. Halloween, trick-or-treating and that. It was good. Can I give a shout-out to my mum, Annie Pryor, who tunes into the podcast religiously every morning, and she finds out news about what's going on in my life from the introductions of the podcast. Oh, that's good. Last week I said I'd go home because son Oscar was sick, and she texted

saying, is Oscar okay? I heard on the podcast. This is how I communicate with mum. Hi, mum. So you said once that she was doing it while working on a cross-training machine or something? Yeah, she's got her knee flares up, you see.

And so she's been advised to do some light exercise. Elliptical? Are they called those machines? I think they are called the elliptical. Oh, like on a cross-trainer thing. Yeah, one of those cross things

you use the arms and legs at the same time. I was on a conversation with someone the other day and I said, can I just call you back in a minute? I've got to go.

But they said, when I called them back, they thought I said I was on an elliptical machine. Can I call you back? I'm on a conversation with someone the other day and I said oh can I just call you back in a minute I've got to go but they said when I called them back they thought I said I was on an elliptical machine can I call you back I'm on a must be really dedicated to the gym they're like how was your gym workout I was like what to answer the phone on you know a treadmill or an elliptical machine you really have to have confidence in your breath in fact Juliet I want to bring you in here producer Juliet because you've just run a marathon that we keep banging on about. Oh, yeah. Can you talk and run at the same time? If you're an hour into it and someone tries to start up a conversation. It depends how – okay, so I did some training runs with my friend Ella,

and these were the long training runs. They were like 17 kilometres, and we started out chatting away, chatting away, and then it just absolutely faded out, and we were just in silence. It depends how fast you're running. If you're going at a slow pace, you can chat away, but it just takes more energy. You were playing us before some of your songs from your playlist. Very, very upbeat, very nightclub. Bangarang, Skrillex. Hardcore drum and bass, baby.

I noticed there's no slow songs. If the world was ending, JB Sax, that sort of thing. See, if I played that, I'd probably... Start crying. Yeah, or fall asleep. Lewis Capaldi, great songs, you know, just right along in a slow pace. Juliet sobs her way over the finish line. Yeah, crying.

If the world was ending, I'd come home and... The world is ending in my eyes as I cross the finish line. Oh, there we go. That's nice. Can you talk and exercise? I just give one syllable. Yeah. People love having a chat with you.

In the gym sometimes, you're like... Now's not the time. Now's not the time, please. A very exciting show coming up. When I say that, I don't know how excited you'll get about it, but we'll just say it anyway. This morning on the program, Ben Boyce, we discussed Kanye West, who got Kim Kardashian

a thoughtful yet quite unusual gift, we thought, for her birthday party. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, yeah. It's lovely, and she loved it, and that's the main thing. And that's all that matters at the end of the day, you know, but we all feel like we need to have an opinion on it.

No, what matters is our opinion. Two Nimwit radio announcers from New Zealand, that's the only thing that matters. But I always feel like that. I was like, well, Kim liked it. Why are we all going, well, that's a bit weird. Well, she didn't think it was. She loved it. Because everyone loves shoving their opinion down your throat.

That's our job. That's the backbone of our job, just shoving our, whether it's right or wrong, we just shove it down your throat. So enjoy more of our show, Shove Down Your Throat. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now I'm a shaky pair of hands at the best of times. You all right, mate?

You're twiddling with your headphones there? We're off air, but my headphones aren't working. I was like, oh my God. I can't hear anything. Sometimes I'm like, are people actually listening to this? Because that scares me.

You know, you get to the end of the show and you're like, what did we just talk about for three hours? I hope no one heard that. But anyway, shaky pair of hands and on Saturday I take my,

take our son to play basketball. He loves basketball basketball crazy it's a massive sport at the moment basketball yeah you're right it's huge

anyway PJ who's his coach lovely human being and he's like hey mate you can be coached today and I was like what

he's like you can be coached do the subbing and you know coach and I'm like oh jeez what's PJ doing

PJ had other stuff because he runs the whole tournament oh right isn't that what you do? he runs the whole thing so I was called in last minute as a coach

and I've had a checkered history with coaching in the past I did coach for a while and I was like this is too I can't control kids

en masse shout out to all the teachers out there because I'm like kids kids kids and they don't listen, they don't care I was telling you about how I had to try and do the same thing at my daughter's touch tournament

they had a phone and they were doing TikTok dance on the netball court too can we stop dancing to Benny try and score a goal that's more important for them but I want to send a shout out to the Noeline Taitoers and the Ian Fosters of the world.

There's a lot going on when you're coaching. Thinking about subbing. That was stressing me out. I had to sub someone on every three minutes. And then people are asking you questions. You don't want to disappoint people. You want to make it fair as well. You want everyone to have a good go.

And I was a flustered mess. So I wanted to pay respects to all those coaches out there. When you see the professional ones on TV, they cut to them in the box. They're looking cool, calm, collected. They know what they're doing. I don't know what I'm up to. We had a shocker.

And that's at halftime, you're meant to give the team talk. Sort of inspirational talk about how they can, you know. And they're all looking at me. I'm like, keep trying to get the ball in the hoop is what I came up with. Is that what you said? Yeah. And they're like, no. Oh, thanks, because we hadn't been trying to.

Thanks, idiot. Kind of the point of the game. And then I sent them back out onto the court too early at halftime. So they're like all wandering around and then the other team is still deep in their team talk. Oh, you're like, oh. I'd sent them out like deers in headlights. And then I was like, oh, I'd better go out and do another team talk.

So I ran back out on the court. Hey, remember what I said before, guys? Ball hoop. See if you can get that in. And then I did a team on three, and everyone put their hands in. And yeah, no, I had a shocking job, and I'll retire from coaching now. So no wins? Because you had a season of losses when you coached a few years ago.

Yeah, a couple of years ago, I was coach of the team. 20 losses in a row. Questions would have been asked about me if it was a professional gig. Yeah, you're right. Why is he still there? Because of the Warriors. Oh, hey, hey, hey. Always had to get that cheap shot with the Warriors, mate.

Of the Warriors. Judy, you got your hand up? Yes. Do you know what I find? I used to coach a football team when I was in high school. And do you know what I find is the most stressful part about coaching? Is who you give the player of the day to because if you've got

a whole season you're like there's always one or two star players consistently you're like you want to give them player of the day every single time but then you've got to share it around and then there's like the duds of the team and you're like oh I should probably give it to you There are duds in teams. I mean I was the dud in my team. I got player of the day one

I was like I don't deserve this. That's the thing when you're like, mate, this guy over here just scored eight tries. Why are you giving it to me? I didn't even go on the field. Player of the day to bed. You're like, thanks guys for this. This is really a shallow picture. Then you've got to hand it back the next week as well. Oh, there we go.

This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating, still pending. It's Jono and Mano Mahec. Now, Jono, every day we come in here, and, you know, because we get up early for this job, we're like, tonight we're going to go to bed early. One of us is going to go to bed early. And it doesn't happen.

No. You know, you get busy with stuff, kids and family and life. But last night you went to bed early. I did. I got to bed at 8.30 last night, and I, gee whiz, I loved every minute of it. Because all you do, I find as an adult, is all you do is just thinking about sleeping.

And as a kid, all you're doing is thinking about not sleeping. It's a sign of weakness if you sleep as a child. And so, yeah, 8.30 last night and I wanted to hold a competition. Who gets the earliest to bed? 0800 the hits is the telephone number, 4487. I imagine if we hosted this on Newstalk ZB, it'd be a hell of a competition.

Who gets to bed the earliest? They've hardly been awake to get into the competition. There'll be some people on Newstalk ZB right now being like, oh, 8.20 in the morning, time for dinner and bed. What time do you go to bed, Ju? I'm usually about 8.30, actually. Probably asleep by 9. Well, yesterday I was, I think I probably went to bed at about 7.30 because I did a big run.

I was so tired. Yeah, you did run half an hour. But hopefully to bed early again tonight because still feeling it. Because I want to know what the routine is. If you go to bed at sort of 7 o'clock at night, what's your routine? What time are you having to shower and eat dinner and do all that stuff? You're pulling everything forward if you catch up with people. You can't eat dinner at 4 in the afternoon.

Yeah, you're right. So give us a call right now, 0800, the hit's 4487 on the text. All right, the competition is on. Who goes to bed the earliest? Let's go to Janina in Kaipoi. Welcome to the show, Janina. What time is it? 9 o'clock.

Oh, okay, 9 o'clock I would imagine about an average bedtime, I've just looked here on the internet, do you want to know the optimum sleeping hours is 9 till 5, going to bed at 9 getting up at 5, oh really 5 in the morning perfect time to go to sleep, perfect time to wake up

perfect amount of sleep apparently what time do you wake up? what time do I wake up? What time do I wake up? Yeah. Seven. Oh, seven. So you get quite a decent sleep, don't you? 9 p.m.

I think that's a really good, I love hearing about your sleep. It really makes me happy. I'd pay top dollar for this phone line. Just like a 0900 sleep line. How long do you sleep for? Oh, yeah. I could dream of that stuff. All right, have a good one, Janina.

We'll head to Jessica in Hamilton. How's the Tron this morning, Jess? It's pretty good. Yeah, you're running a busy operation there, mate. What's going on in the background? Just about to take my son to kindy. Hey, mate. How are you?

Okay, so how many hours sleep are you getting? What time are you going to sleep? We usually go to sleep at eight. Eight o'clock? That's not bad. Does the little fella? I usually go to sleep at eight. Eight o'clock? That's not bad. Does the little fella in the back go to bed at eight? Yeah, we both go to bed at the same time. Oh, that's good.

And what time are you up, Jess? About 7.30, eight. Jeez, that's a long sleep. That's like 11 and a half hours, 12 hours. Yeah, pretty good. You sleep for 12 hours. You must be feeling like a million dollars. Yeah, some days.

Oh, that's great. Yeah. Okay, well, that's impressive. I don't know if we can beat that. I don't think I've slept for 12 hours this year in total. Love it, Jess. Thank you very much. We'll go to Vanessa.

Welcome. When do you go to bed, Vanessa? I, yeah, usually during the week it's about 7.30. Oh, my gosh. I have teenage kids and I just say, right, I'm off to bed now. You'll have to go to bed on your own. Leave them to fend for themselves? They do fend for themselves.

They're pretty good. And like you, what you said, when your daughter's going to be a teenager. My daughter's 16 and I'm like, and my son's 15 and I went away in the weekend and I said, look, I'm going away, you know. There's lots of alcohol in the cupboard. I invited my friends over and they had a massive party.

That's what you need to do. God, no, they don't do that. They don't do that. You're so lame. You're always going to go home this afternoon and put a vape pen in her mouth. Do something. For goodness sake. Oh, that's so good. You've got such responsible kids. What time are you waking up, Vanessa?

My alarm goes off at seven. Another 12 hours as well. Goes to bed at daylight. Yeah, I love my sleep. Is it harder now when it is, like Johnno said, daylight savings? No, just close the curtains and go to sleep. Oh, man, keep talking, keep talking. I'll pay $1.99 a minute for this.

Yeah. Good on you, Vanessa. Have a good one. You too, bye. And we'll head to Rotorua. Hayden, surely you can't beat 7.30. What time are you going to bed? Hayden.

Hayden's falling asleep right now. No, mate, you've got me back. Oh, he's back. We've woken him up. During this conversation, he's like, like I said, your show puts me to sleep. What time are you in bed, Hayden? Between 6 o'clock and 7.30.

Oh, my God. What time are you getting up in the morning? Between 2 o'clock and 3.30 in the morning. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, OK. But it must be hard going to bed at 6 o'clock on a Sunday night. Oh, the body's quite used to it now, so, yeah, it's over being a trucker. Oh, keep talking, though. 6 o'clock on a Sunday night? Oh, the body is quite used to it now, so yeah. It's over being a trucker. Oh, keep

talking though. 6 o'clock. And what are you doing? What sort of bed are you in? What size are we talking? Ah, sleep comfort. Just a green asleep comfort. Nice, nice pillow. One of those weird bamboo ones that Suzanne Poole sells. You've got it. The Bambillow. Oh, yeah. Oh, you are our winner of the earliest to bed.

We're going to flick out a prize, all right? Awesome. Sounds good, mate. If you achieve nothing else this week, you won that award. Yeah. Awesome. Have a great day. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show.

It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. A A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We call one a day. We're slightly making our way around New Zealand, calling every town. Yeah, we're having a good time doing this love it

Hikarangi which is 15 minutes from Whangarei in the North Island and according to the community website in Hikarangi

it's the perfect place to stop for a coffee and not much else according to the website also if you're interested in registering afloat for the Christmas parade please fill out the appropriate form on the website

and email it back for registration. Christmas parade on the 5th of December. Oh, good. In Hikurangi. And we're going to go through right now to the local taxidermist. Hello? Hello there. Have we got a hold of Hikurangi?

Yeah. How are you? Good. John Owen being calling hold of Hikarangi? Uh, yeah. How are you? Good. Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh, yeah. How's it going? Oh, we're doing well, my friend. You couldn't get a more Kiwi-sounding voice than yours on the other end of the phone.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Now, we call every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day. And today, it's Hikarangi's turn. Oh, yeah. And we just...

Oh, yeah. Now, just, oh, yeah. Now, we've just rung you out of the blue and we want to know about the place. Can you tell us anything? Oh, yeah. Hikarangi. Yeah. Yeah, well, it's an old coal mining town, great little town, close to the coast. You know, it's pretty perfect, really.

How long have you been there? All my life. And you, it's pretty perfect, really. How long have you been there? All my life. And you do taxidermy. I do. Big bore taxidermy. What's the biggest thing you've taxidermied? My whole marlin, actually.

Right. And so do you have to put your hand in there and pull all the insides out, do you? Yeah, pretty much. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, no, it's not the greatest job in the world, but it's quite artistic and creative. Sounds like you've got birds chirping in the background. Is that, you've got pet birds, or? Nah, no, I'm just out in the country, mate.

No, it's a bird. That's what the country sounds like, Ben. Oh, that's what it sounds like. I see. Those are called birds. They're not pets, they're just... There's no cars around here. No cars.

They sit in things called trees. Oh, do they? I've seen one of those In pictures In books Yeah that's right We like to We like to end these

With a bit of a On the spot commercial So I'll lead you in And you just fill in the blanks Okay What are you doing? No just It's an on the spot

Whoa whoa whoa What's going on here? It's an on the What's going on here? I don't know whether I'm being conned By one of my mates or not. No, no, it's John Owen.

Unfortunately, it's John Owen being from the Hats. So I'll lead you in, and you just fill in the blanks about Hikarangi. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Okay. All right. Hikarangi, a place for all to enjoy. Why not pop along and visit the...

Coal Miners Cafe and the lake at Waro, and the limestone rocks at Waro as well. And while you're there, you can't look past the... People that live in this town. And every local always says you've got to check out... The cafe. The pizzas. The four square.

And the list keeps going with other attractions such as... The beaches that are only just a short drive away. Oh, you're good, you're good. You got any more? And the locals' catchphrase. Well, that's a hard one. What a catchphr? And the locals catchphrase. Well, that's a hard one. What a catchphrase. What a catchphrase. Well, that's a hard one.

You got me there, mate. Really nice talking to you. And, yeah, you take care of yourself. Yeah, no worries, mate. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now we are giving away stuff that is in your cart with our credit card. Jono and Ben's company credit card. We have a company card. We don't know what the limit is on this card, so we're pushing the thing to its limit and we're buying items for you guys in your cart. You know, we all do online shopping

and often the time you put stuff in your cart and you walk away and you're like, I couldn't justify that. I just left it there in the cart. These are, you know, we all do online shopping and often the time you put stuff in your cart and you walk away and you're like, I couldn't justify that. I just left it there in the cart. So now we want to clear your cart.

We did it on Friday. It was a lot of fun. It was fun. Nikki, you're on the air. What's sitting in your shopping cart that you'd like us to pay for?

Augustine clothing. Augustine. I have had my eye on this sassy orange dress since the pre-sale. So congratulations, that sassy orange dress is all yours. Wow, thank you so much.

I've got a wedding ring. You've got the ring, my friend. Awesome. Hey, it's a pair of Catherine Wilson long heels and dolly tags. I'm just putting in the credit card details right now. What shoes are you wearing as we speak? Slippers. Burn them.

Because right now you're going to wear high heels for the rest of your life thanks to the Hicks. There we go. So that was fun, wasn't it? I've got very arthritis-y fingers.

These fingers have been working hard tapping in credit card details. We're going to do it again this morning. Let's welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast from Tauranga,

Lorraine Morena. Hi. How are you, Loza? How are you? We're doing well. We're doing well, Lorraine. Morena. Hi. How are you, Loza? How are you? Oh, we're doing well. We're doing well, Lorraine. What's sitting in your cart? Sitting in my cart is a cell phone for my son, Sheldon,

who's off to a different school out of town next year. Oh, okay. Oh, nice. Well, you want to keep in contact, don't you? Yeah, absolutely. Back in the day, you had to use string, a very long piece of string and two caps. Popular method.

So whereabouts is this phone that you've been looking at? Oh, it's only from the warehouse. It's not a very expensive one, but yeah. Well, I'm sure it does the job. Okay, so what the, okay, the warehouse, what sort of phone? It's an OPPO A5 2020. OPPO, okay, all right. And this will do, he can use this for school as well?

Sorry? He'll use it for his schoolwork? No, they're not allowed to use it for schoolwork. Oh, he'll use it for apps, TikTok, and phoning his mum. Yeah, I think so, yeah. Okay, so you've got A5 2020, $299, that's the one? Yeah, I think so. It might have been on official last week, but yeah.

All right. And you haven't purchased it yet? No, not yet. Well, we want you to keep in touch with your son. That sounds like a good reason. And we want to see if this goes through on our company card before I take all the glory for this. Should we check? Push pay.

Okay, push pay. It's through. It's through. Yay! It's through. It's through. Yay. It's been approved. Thank you, Lorraine. Awesome. Hey, no worries.

That's on us, okay? And when I say us, I mean the hits. And when I say the hits, I mean Boss Todd has to deal with this mess at the back end. Yeah, that's right. So thank Boss Todd. Thank you. No worries. We might do that again after 8 o'clock. So if you've got something that you

want us to buy on our company card, 4487 on the text and we could be hooking you up just like we bought that phone right there. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now Kim Kardashian. I've heard of her. Had a big birthday party. She turned 40

and Kanye West, her partner. I guess what do you get Kim Kardashian? I mean, she's probably got the ability to get anything she wants for a present, right? Herself. So he did something I thought was a lovely gesture where he got, her dad sadly passed away about 17 years ago, Robert Kardashian.

And so he created a hologram, like special effects of her dad talking and giving a message to his daughter. So this was played in front of the whole party. All of a sudden, a hologram of her deceased father pops up, starts giving a speech. Happy birthday, Kimberly. Look at you. You're 40 and all grown up. I am so proud of the woman that you've become, Kimberly, and all that you've accomplished. The most beautiful thing that I have witnessed is watching you grow your family.

You married the most, most, most, most, most genius man in the whole world, Kanye West. Keep doing what you're doing, Kimberly. Don't forget to say your prayers. That's a lovely message. I love how Kanye clearly wrote the script. You married

the most, most, most genius man in the world. And there's some liberties with the script writing. He's like, it's my script. I'm going to put this in there. This is my idea. Yeah. He's going to say that I'm a genius. She loved it.

She loved it. And that's all that matters. Really, when it boils down to it, she loved it. She thought it was great. She found it very emotional. So that's all that matters. So who cares if people online are going, oh, that's a bit odd. That's a bit weird.

Yeah, I mean, it's a lovely gesture. Don't get me wrong. But imagine, okay, I'm at your party, oh, that's a bit odd. That's a bit weird. Yeah, I mean, it's a lovely gesture. Don't get me wrong. But imagine, okay, I'm at your party, okay? It's your 40th. Right. And I'm like, guess what, Ben? I've got a hologram of Jenny Boyce. And you're like, what?

She's alive and she's at the party. Yeah, I know. But regardless, there's a hologram of her. And she started doing the speech. Would you be like, oh, okay, this is quite a lot to take in. Yeah, but I'd appreciate all the links you've gone to okay let's turn getting an answer to who looked like my mum or even though she's still there yeah like yeah like okay i'm dead i'm dead and then i as my parting gift on my deathbed i'm like make sure you get being a hologram of me at

his party and then i pop up uh ghostly white figure, like I usually am. Actually, at the last party I turned up to of yours, you're like, oh, it's a ghost. Oh, no, it's just him. Yeah, they got him early for Halloween. Pasty white skin. I've got the body of an 85-year-old Russian lady. Yeah, it's probably not your traditional gift. It's an unusual gift.

It's not your Repco voucher or anything like that. I mean, your dad got you a miniature leaf blower. Oh, yeah, he did. Yeah, a little orange and black leaf blower that you plug into your laptop and you can blow the dust off your keyboard. I mean, that's a gift where you're like, oh, okay, that's in the hologram territory, isn't it? Yeah, lovely gift, a lovely thoughtful gift. You're right.

Okay, so 800 of the hits. Unusual gifts that you've received, be it weddings, birthdays, Christmas, whatever, we'll take them. I can't think of too much. Just that cards that I've mentioned before from mum and dad. The saucy card. Oh, yes, the entitled Jews do a bubble bath, right? Yeah, you know, it was like they hadn't read the inside of the card. Outside it was like, I haven't got you anything, but there's some vouchers here you can cash in.

So they obviously thought they were like, you know, prezi cards or something inside the card. Outside it was like I haven't got you anything but there's some vouchers here you can cash in. So they obviously thought they were like you know prezzy cards or something inside the card but they were vouchers for very racy activities. I'll tell you a hands free massage. Was it awkward when you guys had the bubble bath or? You're like you want to cash in this voucher. Yeah before it

expires you've got to use it. Alright the most unusual gift we'd love to hear from you this morning. 0800 4487 on the text. Tracy, welcome. How are you? I'm good, thanks. How are you? Oh, we're doing well. Your unusual gift. What was it, mate?

When me and my husband got married, his friends thought it would wind me up but it's been an actual blessing. Gave me a chicken coop with six chickens. Now, there are gifts that people give you, like, you know, drums for toddlers. Oh, yeah.

That you're like, why are you doing this to me? What have I done wrong to you in a previous life? A recorder. You've got a recorder, Jono? Do you have a recorder? I gifted that to myself, though. I know. Anyone with a recorder. Yeah, so the chickens have come in quite handy, have they?

Yeah, I love them. Oh, nice. Are you getting eggs? Yeah, so the chickens have come in quite handy, have they? Yeah, I love them. Oh, nice. Are you getting eggs? Yeah, every morning. Are they suburban chickens? So these are just roaming around the backyard, eh? Yeah, we did have to do a bit of moving around in the garden for them. But yeah, most of the time.

And I'm in central Wellington, so I don't think my neighbours like me. So who needs your neighbours to like you, though? We're not out there to impress the neighbours, are we? Nope. Good on you. Thank you, Tracy. Appreciate that. Bianca's on 0800. The hit's Unusual Gifts.

What was it? I think she's still being chatted to, mate. Still being chatted to. Sounds like he's chatting her up. What are you doing next door there, Producer Humphrey? Still chatting away to people. Hello, Hannah. How are you?

Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. What was the unusual gift? My partner sent me up a clothes washing line in the backyard. Well that's a generous gift. You need dry clothes. This is like Ben. I bought a frying pan. It's one of many gifts for my wife

but the frying pan's all we remember, all we focus on. It was a nice frying pan but anyway that's... Yeah, well I think he's expecting me to do his washing. Yeah, well I mean a clothesline, it's practical. It's a practical gift. Much like a frying pan Ben Boyce, the frying pan didn't go down well. He was always like, amongst other

gifts. He's like, everyone focuses on the frying pan. Yeah, because the frying pan was a shocking present to give your wife. She was talking about how we, she, anyway, anyway. To be fair, like, I would love a frying pan for my birthday. I've got one. I'll order one if you want. Yeah, thanks.

I just want to get it out of the house now. Also, if you've got a spare room, you can live in as well. Making more life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz She is the journalist that Jack Tame wishes he was. Now to Juliet with the rash

update from Love Island. What have we got, June? So if Billie Eilish was on Love Island that would work quite well. But the Trump administration aka Donald Trump and all of his crazy people, have said that Billie Eilish is destroying America and this is, so basically how it worked was

they wanted to get a bunch of celebrities for this particular campaign and they basically had a blacklist of all the celebrities and next to Billie Eilish's name was she's destroying America and everything we stand for she can't be on the campaign and I think there was a photo that was released that said that. And there's just a list of all these different celebrities

and why they can't be on this campaign. And it's just all the celebrities that have ever slammed Trump. But it's quite silly because Billie Eilish is just this, what, 17, 18-year-old girl. She's not destroying America. I mean, come on. Isn't it lovely when a 74-year-old man is bullying a teenager? To be fair, he's probably not a target demo.

Billie Eilish. Yeah. Your daughter went as Billie Eilish as Halloween? Yeah, how'd that go? Yeah, good. Is she destroying America while she was out there? Yeah, she went out and destroyed the neighbourhood. Trump didn't come after her.

Yeah, no, but you're right. There's a few Trumps, actually, I seem to doubt about. It seemed like a popular outfit to wear on Halloween this year. Terrifying. It's Donald Trump. Terrifying outfit. I mean, I'd probably go as him as well. He'd be struggling to get musicians on board with his campaign, I imagine.

I think there's a few songs, right, that people are like, Rolling Stones are like, don't use our music. Don't use our song. Because I guess it probably makes you, gives you allegiance that you may not want. Either way, you know, you might want to remain impartial. I think he uses Kid Rock. Doesn't Kid Rock?

Bar with the bar, bang, bang. I think he does. All summer long or something. So he was in the Oval Office, Kid Rock. They had a photo with Kid Rock and Donald Trump in the Oval Office. Really? It's a sign of the times, isn't it? Every time I think of Kid Rock, I think of the time when you called him

he looked like a weasel. He's a bit of a weasel character, isn't he? Yeah, and then you came back and said, I look like a naked mole rat. Yeah, that's right. That was a fun day. That was quite early on. A formative day in our relationship there, Ochocho. It was. And other news.

So there has been ongoing, ongoing legal battles between Johnny Depp and his ex-wife, Amber Heard. That trial, you mentioned it on Friday after the show, Ben. It just seemed like it was dominating the news for about three weeks and then just disappeared. Yeah, so it was pretty much three months ago and you're right. You said the other day, whatever happened in that? Yeah, so it's basically Johnny Depp is taking a

newspaper or a news site to court for defamation because they said they labelled him as a wife beater and then that's when Amber Heard came in for the evidence and legal, all of that. And I think there were audio clips that came out and everything. And she's saying that he was. And he's like, well, no.

But the results, I think, are coming out later today. So we'll know what's going on then. So Johnny Depp was suing the paper for defamation. It's defamation, right. And then they called her in as a witness. Right, I see. Every time I see Johnny Depp, he's in an ongoing battle with himself to see how many scarves he can put on.

So many scarves. Every day there's more and more scarves around that neck. Do you remember years ago, quite a few years ago when we had our TV show, I did a prank on you in America. So we were in America and we were like, hey, we've got this junket interview with Johnny Depp. And I had to do something else at the time, whatever happened.

So you ended up talking. We got a Johnny Depp lookalike. He was spot on too. Oh, he looked so good. But I didn't realise just moments before going in, he's like, oh, I can't actually do the voice. I'm French. He was French. He's like, if you want me to say bonjour.

So I'm like, uh-oh, this is meant to be an interview. So we had to pretend that Johnny Depp was like't want to talk to me we even asked you questions actually it worked alright I was like sitting in there going he's literally saying nothing nothing he said nothing

at the end of the year and you're like you're in a French scandal moments before the prank you're like what oh you just brought that up now okay well you look like Johnny Depp

so that's great he was convincing anyway so the results of that tomorrow eh yeah yeah I think so have you seen that video that was circulating?

She secretly filmed him when they were having an argument. I know. And then he poured this glass of wine that just kept going. It was the most enormous glass of wine you'll ever see. You could have done a winery tour just on that one glass of red wine. Was he pouring it on her or something? No, no, he was pouring it for himself into a glass. Oh, I see.

He literally poured a whole bottle of wine into a giant glass. It was like a novelty glass you'd get for someone's leaving party at an office. Like a yard glass or something. But that's just his normal wine glass. I mean, to be fair, if you're going through with a court case like that, you probably need a glass of wine that size. And that's Spy. For more, you can go to thehits.co.nz.

We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Over the weekend was Halloween. It's a fun time. Yeah, did you get dressed up? Did you wear your skeleton costume? No, I wore my Deadpool costume this year. Oh, you mixed it up.

You've done five years in a skeleton costume. I've done a few years. I went Deadpool, full Deadpool this year. And one of my daughters, Billie Eilish, the other one, Harley Quinn, and my wife, she did Hermione from Harry Potter as well. I noticed Deadpool, though, you've got a full mask. You can't really see.

It's very hot visually impaired you felt like you wanted to keep it on but then you're like you're going to have a hot face was your face hot

I thought it was a great night because we wandered around the neighbourhood and then we ended up another place and then we ended up another party but great night of the year

to crash parties you know you just turn up and everyone's like oh it must be old Keith is it yeah you know just waving

or I was thinking if you're a door-to-door salesperson walking up there and you walk in costume and they're like, oh, what have you got? You're like, a sucker. Stay back now. Give me money for this. Join the Jehovah's Witness.

You're like, oh, I'm coming to the door. Then we'd hide out from you. I was wondering why two guys turned up in a suit holding briefcases, old costume. We had a party too, just for the neighbourhood kids. And it was, well, there's a message to remind us to text Doggy Dan, Ben. Oh, nice. Yeah, we party too just for the neighbourhood kids and it was, well there's a message to remind us

to text Doggy Dan Ben. Oh nice. Yeah we'll do that after the show. But yeah, kids en masse, you can't control them so basically you just jam

artificial sugar down their mouth and let them go crazy. It was wild the destruction they left. I could have made an insurance claim on the house

after that. See why Willy Wonka got into the game. Because it makes you feel good, doesn't it? Have some more lollies, kids. Have them just get them. You were talking about that the other day, and it's a very good point, that every other day of the year, you know,

you're like, don't take lollies from strangers. But this is the one day of the year you go around and you encourage. You walk around the neighbourhood going, yeah. And the house, the more creepier looking the house, the more you go, go in there, go in there. It goes against everything. And then the next day it's like, don't ever do what we did yesterday.

It's the one time of the year you can do that. How many kids got sent into like meth labs and things? People answering the door. Yeah. I was thinking also too for the parents, eventually we should start a Halloween for adults where you get like wine and beer at places you go. Oh, around the

street? You knock on the door, someone's like, here, would you go? You know, let's do it for adults. Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, and then who's looking after the kids when we're out doing this? Oh, I hadn't thought about that. They can drive us home. The guy who turned up in a Deadpool costume, you don't know who quite is, but he looks alright. He looks responsible. Like starting your

day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It is a big week in the world. The UK have just gone into lockdown for a month as well as that

in America. The election's happening this week. Gee whiz, a lot of stuff. The UK, so they won't get out until December.

Yeah, beginning of December. Wow, jeez. At this stage, I mean, it could go on for longer and then everyone's like,

is it going to be Christmas lockdown? We're lucky here, aren't we? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Let's just sit on that for a moment. You really do.

You really feel fortunate even going out and about on the weekend with Halloween and stuff. And you're like, overseas they can't, you know, they're in lockdown. You know, it's like, I'm just lucky to be able to do this. But yes, the election on Wednesday in the US and the amount of time that I have spent on whitepages.com trying to phone a Trump, surname Trump in the white pages. How long have we spent doing that? Probably an hour and a half.

And these poor people have probably been harassed by every radio station in the world. We'll call the Trumps. We'll call the Trumps. Ben was like, can we just call somewhere else? And I was like, no, no, we'll do it. And it was 90 minutes later and I was like, actually, you're right. I'll pull subs on this. I've spent way too much.

I was like, just, you're right. I'll pull subs on this. I've spent way too much. I was like, just call Biden or someone. How much company resource did I spend on international calls trying to get hold of a Trump? So anyway, we settled on a Kiwi cafe you found in Boise, Idaho for 90 minutes. He's like, let's call this Kiwi cafe. And it sells meat pies. Like they don't do meat pies in America, do they?

No. They're not a thing. Not like ours. They have apple pie, obviously, and things like that, but not pumpkin pie, but not meat pies. And so here's what we do. We call random people in the hope that they'll be okay talent to provide some friendly fodder for the show.

And we're going to phone through to the Kiwi Shake and Bake. Kiwi Shake and Bake. Hello there, how are you? Good, how are you? Oh, we're doing well. It's Jono and Ben from New Zealand, aka Kiwiland. How's it going?

Good. What do you do at Kiwi Shake and Bake? We make meat pies. Like pies that we'd have in New Zealand, like steak and cheese and mince and cheese. Yes. Have you got an actual kiwi bird pie? No, we don't have any of those.

Okay, I'll send you over some meat. No, we don't eat kiwi. We're not allowed to eat it, but it looks very tasty. Hey, listen, we're phoning up. They tell us there's an election going on there. Yes, there is. There's a big election coming up. We're just getting the pulse of the nation, just getting some street talk.

I'm a little scared, to be honest. Oh, really? Who do you think's going to win? Well, I'm hoping Biden wins. Trump is very close in the polls. It seems very close, doesn't it? Yeah. Do all of your family vote for the Democrats or are you divided? No, my family is very divided. Does it become a bit of a thing at Christmas dinner and stuff? Oh yeah.

Don't bring up politics at Christmas. Nope, definitely not. So how long have you worked at the Kiwi Shake and Bake Cafe? I've been here almost two years. Oh wow, and have you ever been to New Zealand? I have not. Oh, right. The bosses haven't taken me yet. So the business was started by New Zealanders over there?

Yes. The owners are husband and wife, and they are from New Zealand. Oh, wow. That's pretty cool. Yeah. What have they told you about New Zealand? Do you know anything exciting? I know that they don't have any snakes there. Yeah, that's exciting. Yeah. What have they told you about New Zealand? Do you know anything exciting? I know that they don't have any snakes there.

Yeah, that's exciting, yeah. That's pretty much the only exciting thing about New Zealand. Come to New Zealand, we have no snakes. Okay, this week, who's going to be your president? Who do you think? Oh, I'm hoping Biden. You're hoping Biden. But you don't sound that certain.

No, it seems like it's a close one, doesn't it? Yeah, I think I'm just scared. Well, that's not a good way to be. I know, I know. Hey, come to New Zealand. We don't have snakes. Yeah. You're welcome down here.

We've got pies, but you've already had those. Yeah. Well, lovely talking to you. We really appreciate you talking to us on our radio show in New Zealand. Oh, yeah, no problem. In fact, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to play the Star Spangled Banner right now, okay? And we want you to give an impassioned message,

an impassioned message to New Zealand, okay? Okay. Take it away. All right. Well, come to Boise, Idaho, and try our meat pies pies if you're ever in the States and vote for Biden. Lovely talking to you. You take care and if we're ever over your way, we'd love to come try a pie that we can get just up the road in New Zealand. Oh, yeah, definitely. When are you planning on going to Boise, Idaho, Ben?

I might have liked to. Maybe when this whole pandemic. You never know. You never know. Yeah, that's it. You never know. I like the name. My last name is Boyce, so I like the name of, you know, Ben Boise. You know, there's a pun there. I like it.

He'll move there purely for pun-based reasons. You look after yourself. Keep safe. All righty. Thank you so much. Have a good day. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Well, we've got one of these. Jono and Ben's company credit card. Never had one of these before. It's quite exciting and we decided to max out the cards. I don't really know what the limit is. No one will tell us so we're just going to keep going

until it declines. I love this though. It makes us look like great people buying all the stuff, buying people's affection. I don't feel bad. I don't feel bad about this. That's what we're doing.

Like a potential stepfather. You're like, come on there. Hello there. It's a new bike. Trampoline. I'm the guy. Love me, love me. Yeah, that's exactly what I feel like.

That's what we're doing. So we're going to go to Holly in Hamilton. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Holly. How are you? I'm great. How are you? We could buy you anything off the internet. You want a new set of abs, ears?

We can do anything. Hair dryer, I don't know. I'm just naming items that are coming into my head. But what do you want? I was looking at a dress from a local designer. Yeah, so it's been sitting in my cot for a while. Okay, and what's the name of that local designer sitting in your cot? Friday Flamingo. Friday Flamingo.

Friday Flamingo. It sounds expensive. Friday. Ben, this is a conversation he has with Amanda every day. That sounds expensive. As soon as you say the local designer, I'm like, oh, that sounds expensive. Oh, they've got a fancy website. It's not boding well for you, Ben.

What's the name of the dress there, Holly? It's an Aurora, I think. An Aurora. Let's look up the Aurora. That's a leopard print dress. Oh, it's not expensive. It's not expensive. Oh, it's a lovely dress.

Is it lovely? It is lovely. It's Ben Boyce. What are we looking at? Oh, okay. $119.95. How's that for you, tight ass? Okay. I'm okay with that. Oh, okay $119.95 How's that for you, tight ass? Okay

I'm okay with it We'll just see if the credit card's okay with that Okay, I'll just put the credit card in for you, Holly Okay If you can chant Type in the card Type in the card Type in the card

Type in the card Or we'll just chant type in the card That's fine Holly Yes You have got a brand new Aurora Dlippin Skin dress Oh that's great

Thanks guys Alright So you enjoy that dress That's amazing Thanks so much Alright When you're wearing that dress You tell the story of that dress

Okay To everyone you come across That's I will definitely do that Even strangers You know where I got this dress from They're like what okay Get the street talk out there

Good on you, Holly Love your work Alright, great, thanks guys Are we on time to do one more? We'll do one more We'll head to Matamata Gavin, you're on the air Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast

How are you? We're doing well, Gav What's sitting in your cart? Well, I'm asked to do a pair of red bands Like I said in the text These are on the verge of being a biological hazard. Oh, right, your current ones. Yeah.

Yeah, it's the new red bands. Okay. Now, if we put them out in the rain, they'll almost grow mushrooms. They're putting a hole in the ozone layer, these red bands. Okay, Gavin, we'll go on to the red bands website. From a local designer, red bands, here we go. Sounds expensive.

Okay, you've got a range of them. Here we go. Sounds expensive. Okay. Oh, you've got a range of them. You want the 69 ones, the $85 ones? Where are we at? Oh, I don't know. I don't know how far we want to split out. Let's go top of the line gumboots for you. I'm going to get $85 gumboots, okay?

What size are you? Size 12. All right, Gavin. You can burn those toxic boots of yours, my friend, because we've got you a new pair of red bands. Oh, that's very good, thank you. You know, the other way we could go around about these olive irons is we could turn them into some of those jandals.

Oh, recycle them. Yeah, I don't know how we go on about that, but we'll have to just make some... It's not a bad idea. Gavin, can you help us out, mate? We just need a little moment of tears for our promo that we're going to do,

so I'm going to go, hey, well done, you've won some gumboots and you just start crying, okay? Can you do that for me? All right. Gavin, you've got a new pair of gumboots.

Cry. Oh, no. I can't cry. Okay, well, I think we've got enough there. We'll just kind of loop it a couple of times. It'll make a great promo. Aaron, if you're listening who does our production,

see if that works all right. Yeah. A millisecond of crying there from Gavin. Hey, Gavin, you have a great day, my friend, all right? Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Kia ora, I'm Ash Thomas, and this is The B***ing News.

Yes, the news and beeps with producer Juliette. We were going to do the news and burps, but we get her to ghastly read our news headlines, but we decided this was more family friendly where you beep out certain words from headlines. We've got to try and guess what they are. Exactly. Are you ready for your first headline? I'm ready.

Let's do it. It's Monday morning. This is a lot of thinking to do at 16. You're right, actually. You poor things. Here we go. South African man eats 400 grams of

in one minute for Guinness World Record. 400 grams of I've got nothing. Sun-dried tomatoes. It's nice. There's a lot of sun-dried tomatoes.

I'm going to go maybe took the toddler you know what toddlers are eating and go sand from a sand pit. Oh, wow. I don't know. That would be impressive.

Sand from a kindergarten sand pit is woo-wee. Yeah, it's risky. It is risky like the bull pit at McDonald's. Yeah, exactly. South African man eats 400 grams of Marmite in one minute for Guinness World Record. And I had to search how big like a tub of Marmite was. And you know those massive ones, the big ones that you buy, it's about that.

I think that's like 500 grams. Oh, so he ate pretty much that in a minute. In a minute. And he got to a point where he ate so much that it got stuck in his throat. And you know when you get something stuck in your throat, you're like, I'm gone. This is the time I die. And he thought he was going to... Well, at least he died

what he loved doing. Yeah, exactly. Eating Marmite. Exactly. It sounds like a radio stunt. It does. That would get someone to do. Millennial Max, after 7 o'clock, will be trying to eat 400 grams of Marmite.

In 59 seconds to beat the record. Jeez. I mean, anything can be... This is my thing with world records. You can pick anything. I could be like, longest time holding two Samsung remote controls. Yeah, you're right.

They've really branched out a bit wide now, eh? It used to be like the longest fingernails or the tallest person or things like that. But now, yeah, you're right. You could lick that window. Ben gets a world record for licking an entire studio window. Well done. Exactly.

They're reaching nowadays. They really are. All right, next headline. Study finds that vampire bats... when they are ill. I'm going to say study finds that vampire bats don't feel well when they are ill. I'm going to say maybe they start COVID-19.

There you go. Very true. Well, it's quite ironic because... Study finds that vampire bats naturally socially distance when they are ill. Isn't that a bit ironic? They started COVID. It's them. It's these ill. Oh, okay. Isn't that a bit ironic? They started COVID. It's them.

It's these bats. Now they know. They're like, well, hang on, I've got it. I need to socially distance. Yeah, so maybe we need to take some notes from bats. Are they using the Tracer app, though, as well? Yeah, I think they've got their own little QR codes in their little caves and stuff.

That's good. That's good. They're not spreading the disease. Yeah, exactly. Team of five billion bats. Exactly. And the final one. Bodybuilder jailed for sending lookalike to take his...

Take his wife on an anniversary dinner date. It's a jailable offence, isn't it? White collar crime. Yeah. I was going to say his lookalike went and did his gym workout for him. He's his bodybuilder. Oh, yeah, true. Bodybuilder jailed for sending lookalike to take his driving theory test.

Isn't that quite interesting? Did he think he wasn't going to pass? So basically, well actually there were two scenarios. In his driving theory, in his theory test he had a little Bluetooth piece in. So he, no, so he sat the theory test, had a little Bluetooth piece in. They were like, right, that's a warning. But then for his

practical test, he sent someone else to do it. And I'm like, mate, are you just that shocking of then for his practical test, he sent someone else to do it. And I'm like, mate, are you just that shocking of a driver? Why didn't he just practice? Exactly. He's probably like, yeah, I'm too good. I'm a bodybuilder. But yeah, and it kind of reminded me, I think Rami Malek,

who played Freddie Mercury in the Queen biopic, he's a twin. And I think he got, his twin got him to do a drama performance at university for him to pass the test. Oh, this is a good one. We'll put it out there to the text 4487. Are you a twin and have you used this for evil powers? I can imagine it would happen a bit. Oh, you could send them into the NCEA exams.

So good, so smart. Yeah, so I know some twins. I've known them for 20 years, still struggle to tell them apart. Wow. Okay, text us 4487 if you've been using your twin powers for evil. And that is the news and beeps this morning. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. A big weekend of sport over the weekend, and many people in Auckland did their half and full marathon, including producer Juliette. Mmm, everything hurts. Have you discovered new muscles in your body? Oh, yes. Especially in my feet.

My feet are really sore today. It's weird that your feet would be sore after running 21Ks, out of all things. I'm like kind of limping around. No one ever looks cool running either. Everyone's just hating life. Every time you see someone running, you're like, why are you doing this to yourself?

I watched my two friends, because I just did the this to yourself I watched my two friends because I just did the half marathon I watched my two friends finish the full and one of them just looked like she was about to cry and just gave a big

thumbs down as she crossed the finish line to us and then the other one literally the finish line that's a thumbs up moment I would have thought

she'd be like ugh 42k's later honestly and then the other one just looked like she was in so much pain and I was like

wow so the most you'd run before this was how far about 17 K so this is an extra obviously a few more K's 4 K's

yeah yeah and you did it though that's awesome I did it in a better time than I thought I would so I'm very proud of myself what's your time

I did it in 1 hour 47 that means nothing to me but it sounds impressive it does right yeah the I did it in one hour 47. That means nothing to me. Sounds impressive. The fact you ran for an hour 47 is impressive to me. True, thank you. Now, Alan, Aussie Alan who works in the office, he came in Friday. He's like, oh, I'm going to do the marathon. And we're like, oh, we hadn't heard that you were

doing this. You've been training. He said no. So he was just going to do it on a whim. Did you see Aussie Alan and how did he go? No, so I texted him afterwards because I was like, I haven't seen anything from him. Usually he sends me Snapchats or posts on social media and I texted him saying, so, Allen, did you do the half marathon? And he's like, no, I ended up getting drunk last night.

And I was like, yeah, cool. He got drunk on a whim. He signed up for the marathon on a whim. He changes everything on a whim, doesn't he, Allen? He's a rollercoaster, that guy. When you hear stories like that about people who are like, oh, yeah, I just thought I'd turn up and do the marathon and won the game. He changes everything on a whim, doesn't he? He's a rollercoaster, that guy. When you hear stories like that about people who are like,

oh yeah, I just thought I'd turn up and do the marathon and do it. You're like, this just disrespects everyone who's spent six months training.

Exactly, exactly. Also over the weekend in sports, Silver Ferns, Silver Ferns spent England with my mum Jenny. She was over. We had to watch that.

It was good. Jenny loves a game in that ball. She loves it. Oh, she's a sucker. It was good. And also the All Blacks. Wow, wasted Australia,

didn't they? 43-5 in Sydney. We've got the Bledisloe Cup. Here's one of the highlights. Change of direction from Richie Moanga. Shows his face. Moanga.

Oh, that's brilliant. Individual Richie Moanga. The All Blacks defend their line. They defend the Bledisloe Cup and they win here in Sydney by 43 points to five. Oh, there you go. So what happens now? When they come back, do they have to quarantine for two weeks?

Yes, they do. Yeah, two weeks of quarantine when they come back to New Zealand. But yeah, not even the All Blacks get to skip quarantine. Oh, let them skip quarantine. They're the All Blacks. They should be able to do what they want. I love the All Blacks. Don't get me wrong.

Okay. There's a but coming. I love the All Blacks. Don't get me wrong. Okay. There's a but coming. There's a but. Yeah. When they win too much, it's like, you know, they need,

you know they're good. They can control the game just if they can make it a little bit more exciting. Right. How exciting was the first game against Australia? Yeah, it was actually

quite exciting. It was far better, wasn't it? So what I'm saying is, look like you're going to lose but then win at the end. Oh yeah, because I remember like, well, every time there's a game out of Australia,

but it's on a Saturday night, I always think of my wedding night. It's one of the things that reminds me because it was an All Blacks test out of Australia on my wedding night. And my wife, Amanda, is like, you're not watching the All Blacks on the wedding night. This is where it was quite close. It was close. It could be a close game. And yeah, we had a big day, a lot of festivities. And she ended up falling asleep.

But I was like, oh, it's about time for the All Black game out of Australia. And so I was like, oh, secretly watching it in the room. This was your wedding night. He's having an affair with Sky Television. It was a bloody good game, too. Always remember that wedding day. What a great wedding day. It's been Australia.

What a test. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Synchronise Odds. We haven't done this in a while. You're right. This is where producer Juliet asks us questions. Jono and I have three seconds to try and synchronise our answer.

If we synchronise an answer, we take the prize off our listener friend. Tanya, how are you? Hi, good. How are you? Lovely to hear your voice this morning in Christchurch. Lovely morning there, is it? Yes, it is. It's very nice.

You're sounding fresh out of bed, Tanya. A little croaky. I am. A little croaky. Have we brushed the teeth yet, or are you still waking up? I've just had my coffee. Oh, nice. You've got to ease into the day, don't you?

I know. Are you an easer into the day, Ben? Oh, well, I like to be, but not in this job, though. There's no time for easing into the day, don't you? No, exactly. Are you an easer into the day, Ben? Oh, well, I like to be, but not in this job. There's no time for easing into the day in this job. I would get up at about two if I had to ease into the day. This is the rude awakening. Yeah, like, all right, I'm done. Before you know it, you're doing competitions on the radio with Tanya.

Trying to think about answers to synchronise. Okay, Tanya, well done. You've got the hell pizza vouchers. But like tax, we could take these off you. Yeah, you hold there. You don't have to do anything else. John and I will see if we can synchronise and get that prize off you. Okay.

All right. Your first category is, name for me a state in America. California. Oh, you went broad. Yeah. Usually he goes quite niche. I was mixing it up today. Okay.

There we go. You've still got the pizza, Tanya. Name for me a comedy film. Revenge of the Nerds. Revenge of the Nerds. What? I don't think I've ever heard of that movie. Oh, it was in black and white in the 1920s, Juliet.

It was actually the first film that was ever made. I remember going to the picture theatre on my horse and cart and watching that one. Isn't it funny what pops into your brain first? I don't know why I thought Revenge of the Nerds. Random. All right, well, so far Tanya has got the helpings of vouchers. One more chance for us to synchronise and answer. Take it off her.

All right, name for me a way that you could relax. Message. Oh, there you go. All right, name for me a way that you could relax. Massage. Oh, there you go. Tanya, there's three misanswered questions. Well done, you've still got the hell pizza. Awesome, thank you. All right, you go and get less croaky. And enjoy the rest of your Monday.

Thanks. Love you, Tanya. Thanks so much for listening, appreciate it. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. He's growing through your pain. He doesn't care about the preliminary referendum results. He's rolled up another fat news bulletin

and is about to blaze it up for you. Oh, yeah. Well, if you missed the preliminary results... Tough word to nail, isn't it? Especially at 6 o'clock in the morning. It looks like a yes for David Seymour's end-of-life bill, but a no for the weed referendum. Yeah, interesting, isn't it?

I would have thought, you know, all the media that you saw and watched leading into the election and the referendum, that it would have been a resounding yes in terms of the weed referendum. You know, I went no on the weed, and yes on the end of life. I went no on the weed just because my friend, Tim,

he lost his life. Yeah. And I think a large part of it was due to that, you know? Right. And I don't think there was enough,

like, research. Interesting point, the Duplessy Allen mate I was listening to the other day, should have the referendum been about decriminalising it rather than the whole,

you know, what, yeah. Well, that was the thing. It's the first step. everyone's major issue was people being charged with it and it potentially being a racism thing as well with a lot of Māori locked up in prison.

So to resolve that, you would just go, well, let's just make it legal, but you can't grow it. Yeah. Was that? You're not going to get criminalised and not charged. Yeah. And that might have been something that more people would have gone for. And it's a no-brainer on the medicinal side of things as well.

But, yeah, it was interesting that that wasn't an option. The other political news, the Greens have obviously signed on with the government to join the Cabinet, which was, I guess, no real surprise there as well. I remember, like, when it comes to Cabinet, a few years ago I came up with what I thought was a great joke, never got great credit.

So John Key... Try it again. John Key, who was his Prime Minister, was putting together the Cabinet, and I said it wasn't as good as putting together the cabinet his brother was better uh his name is alan key because alan keys are great for putting together cabinets when you think about it you use it alec but he doesn't have a brother called alan i know but but you put together a cabinet with an allen key oh it was better his brother alan key he's better than he would have been better at putting together a camera yeah but then he doesn't

have a brother called Alan. No, no, no. But that's just, that was a joke. That's where it... That's where the joke never got. It's probably why. And it's still not. Well, it was very good.

No, it is good. I like it. Chance to bring it back. Hey, Prince William. I like it. Chance to bring it back, what, four years? I don't know, how many years later? Seven years later.

Seven years later. You'll barely remember John Key. Give it back for a round two. He's got some Muldoon gear coming up after 7 o'clock. Oh, some great jokes on Muldoon. And Prince William shared a recipe, the dish that he used to woo Kate when the couple were together at university.

So he was at university when he cooked this, but the dish was spaghetti bolognese. Yeah. Now this just feels like a Wednesday night, Dunedin flat, fill-in-the-stomach dish, doesn't it? Spaghetti bolognese. What's he putting in it? He's got his full recipe on there.

He's got, actually, he uses some grated carrot and grated celery. It's just celery. I was like, oh, okay. I didn't know. I just have mince on spaghetti. So you don't put any vegetables in there? No. I didn't know it was a thing.

Oh, you can, though. I mean, you can put onions in there. You can put courgettes. You can put whatever. You can basically chuck anything in there? No. I didn't know it was a thing. Well, you can, though. I mean, you can put onions in there. You can put courgettes. You can put whatever. You can basically chuck anything in there. I think so, yeah. Now, I'm just looking here. Now, this will make you go, wow.

Spaghetti bolognese. You won't get a spaghetti bolognese in Italy. It's not an Italian dish. Oh. It was invented by the British. Really? It's obviously inspired by Italian cuisine. But there's a guy here who runs a popular Italian restaurant in Italy,

says you can't get spaghetti bolognese in Italy. It's not a thing here. But then you go to an Italian restaurant, you know, here. Yeah. With a spag bowl. A spag bowl. A spag bowl. Spag bowl.

That's what won Meghan Markle over, eh? No, it was Kate. Oh, Kate. So who are we talking about? You need to get to know your royals. Oh, so Harry's with Meghan. Harry's with Meghan. William's with Kate.

He could have flown her to Rome to have an Italian dish. Can't get spag bowl, as we found out. Yeah, you're right. He's a prince. Anyway, that's Scotland to your feed this morning. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's a prince. But anyway, that's going through your feed this morning. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Spy. The What's Up Spy.co.nz. She may have run a half marathon yesterday, but one race she'll never stop running is the non-stop marathon. That is mindless celebrity fodder. That's Juliet with Spy. I wondered if your intro was going to be related to marathon. Yeah, it was.

It's the only day I can really use it now. True, true. Julia just did the half marathon yesterday and she looks like a shell of a human being. Yes, and I feel like a shell of a human being this morning. But celebrity news. So Adele has rejected $70 million worth of diet endorsement deals following her big weight loss. So I think over the last six months she's supposedly lost about 45 kgs or so, which is very impressive.

But of course, she's been approached by, you know, vegetarian eating companies, diet pills, and all of that sort of thing. Take the cash, Adele. Take the cash. Exactly. Sell the fit tea. Mate, all the fit tea you've peddled off on Instagram.

I haven't peddled any fit tea. All your diet pills. He's like, have you tried these, mate? No, no. And he's like, just't peddled any. All your diet pills? He's like, have you tried these, mate? No, no. And he's like, just take a photo of this packet of diet pills.

She's got integrity. And also, isn't she already done the thing? She's lost the weight, so it wouldn't be due to the diet she was endorsing. Yeah, because she could pretend that it was to earn it.

Exactly, Ben. She's got integrity. Exactly. That's why we love Adele, so no good on her. 70 million. Yeah, but she can lie to the audience, it's fine. Adele doesn't need 70 million. It doesn't. Now, you're very Adele. 70 million. Yeah, but she can lie to the audience. It's fine.

But Adele doesn't need 70 million. Does she? Now, you're very slight in frame, okay? Yeah. We can barely see him now. I can't tell if it's the microphone or it's his body. But anyway, if someone came to you and said, I'll give you 70 mil to endorse our diet, what would you do?

Oh, I'd have to research a bit more first. So that's a yes. 70 mil, I'm not a del. I don't have a degree. I have 70 mil in the bank. I'd do a bit of research into it. It's not like a fit tea or anything like that, but it was something that I thought would actually

could help people that would be interested. But if you had to lie and say this gave me the You wouldn't do it for 70 mil? Yes, you would. He's smiling. He's so... The problem with radio is you can't see him smiling.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Too much integrity, this man. And later on today in Ben Boyce's Instagram, hey guys, this is a diet pill that I've got. All right, Simon Barnett. Okay.

What about you with your morals over there? Look at him. Well, it's not going to happen, so I might as well look like I've got morals. I might as well look like a good guy. It's never going to happen, so yeah, I'll just say no, I wouldn't take it. It's all a facade.

It's all a facade. And Kiwi actor KJ Upper, so his most recent movie is one called Songbird. And he is getting absolutely roasted online. Oh, not online. KJ, we love KJ. What's he done? So the film is a COVID-19 inspired sort of dystopian film.

It basically follows COVID-23. So like a mutated version of COVID-19. The world's been in lockdown for four years, and there are some people that are immune to it and some people aren't. And if you're not immune to it, you have to stay inside, and, you know, the government or the big brothers are, like, coming around with guns, and if you're caught exiting your house, you know. Yeah.

This sounds like something that the Advanced New Zealand Party wrote the script for, Jamie Lee Ross and Billy T.K. Yeah, so everyone's like, wow, you're already cashing in on the virus when it's still a thing. You know, people are still dying. Quick turnaround on that production, though. Well done to them. I thought that too. And I was like, when would they have filmed that?

Because I feel like America's kind of still all over the show. Unless it was a movie that was sort of made and they just changed it. There's some really bad voiceover on some of the elements. still all over the show? Unless it was a movie that was sort of made and they just changed a few things. Changed a few things. There's some really bad voiceover on some of the elements. My favourite KJ Harper story is Ben Boyce messaging him

at three o'clock in the morning saying how much you loved him. No, I just said he was doing, you saw him proud. He was doing great things.

He never saw it, he never got back to me. Is KJ Harper bitter? You've been in line. I think he's doing great. And he's like, have you tried this Fit Tea? Ben is trying to see if he can endorse his Fit Tea. A little collab between Ben and KJ.

And that's five more. You can go to the hits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. A feeling good. Bum, bum, bum, bum. We like to end on the... Oh, sorry, you were going to say... No, no, no, you search Jono and Ben on Facebook. A feeling good. Bum, bum. Bum, bum.

We like to end on this. Oh, sorry. You were going to say. No, no, no. You go, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. Come back in. Come back in. Come back in.

You do it. You do it. No, we're just going to say the same thing. We like to end the show on a positive note. That's what we say. Give us a call right now. Don't mock it, though. Okay.

People aren't going to get on board with that. Is he positive or is he? I wasn't trying to mock it. I was just mocking the going to get on board with that. Is he positive or is he? I wasn't trying to mock it. I was just mocking the fact that we were talking the same thing at the same time. I like the segment. I'll tell you why it's going to be a good day for Juju. She finished a marathon yesterday and you can rest your body today. Oh, I'm so excited.

I'm probably just going to lie in bed and just sleep. Now, Ellen in the office, Aussie Ellen, had done no training whatsoever and was just going to turn up and do the marathon. He didn't turn up to the start line, though. No. Decided on a bender instead. Yes. I like that from Alan.

He got a day or two of glory around the office going, he's the guy. That's right. It's me. I'm going to do it. And most of us would have forgotten that he said he was going to do it. But it's a great play. It is.

And he's like, you know, what is it? All it is is just moving my arms and legs faster than they usually do for an extended period of time. How hard is it? So if it wasn't for you, Julia, I probably would have forgotten that Alan said he was going to do the marathon. But in two days, he would have been great. Oh, good on you, Alan.

He was the marathon guy. We love him. We love him. So we're going to go to the phones. 0800 the hits. Why is it going to be a good day for you? I'm just lost in another internet hole, guys, of 40 of the world's tallest celebrities of 40 of the world's tallest celebrities.

40 of the world's tallest celebrities. Okay. Do you know who the tallest is? Do I know the person? Yeah. Okay. Jeff Goldblum. Oh, he's quite tall.

Yeah, 1.96 metres. Liam Neeson, a close second. What makes LeBron James play basketball? He's a celebrity. Oh, you know. Here we go. He's always picking holes In my fun lists AJ Do you want to know the shortest

Kourtney Kardashian At the other end of the scale Right Yeah And I don't know what justifies A celebrity and what doesn't Ben Okay Alright

We'll just move on Because it's all about positivity If your job is being tall A basketball player Then maybe you don't fit in there Yeah you're probably right Okay Let's go to Kim and Fungaday

What's it going to be a good day For you Kimbo What's it going to be a good day Kim Oh you'rebo? What's it going to be a good day, Kim? Oh, you're great. What's it going to be a good one for you, mate? It's Tanya. Oh, Tanya. Why has Kim next to your name and I blame myself? I'm from Whangarei.

I'm from Whangarei. Okay, that's alright. Well, Tanya or Kim, I don't know what alias you're going under here. What's it going to be a good day for you? I normally work five days a week in the office and I get to work from home today so I have the best window view of them all. My dog at my feet. Jug on.

What's the year, guys? Look at my belly, Ben. It's jelly. I've got a jelly belly. Well done. I'm going to send you off to the movies. Come Reading Cinemas, okay? Tanya.

Tanya. Oh, jeez. Let's go to Sue in Hamilton. Is it Sue? If that's really your name, Sue, how are you? Why's it going to be a good day for you, Sue? We can celebrate today giving our staff a nice pay rise for the hard work they do. You're going to give your staff a pay rise?

Is this Boss Todd from The Hits? Pretending to be Sue? From Hamilton? Oh, give your business a pay rise. Is this Boss Todd from the Hits? Pretending to be Sue from Hamilton. Oh, give your business a shout out, Sue. We're Parentline. We're a charitable trust and we have wonderful counsellors and social workers. Service delivery lead is amazing.

Yeah, just awesome staff that do wonderful work with children. Oh, and you're going to give them all a pay rise and this is how they find out about it on the radio. Wonderful. Hey, good on you, Sue. We'll send you off to Reading Cinemas, okay, mate? Okay.

Love your work. What a wonderful thing you're doing. Should we take one more? Have we got time for one more? We'll go to Amy in Te Araha. Why is it going to be a good day, Amy? It's going to be a good day today because the sun's shining, and I'm just sitting here listening to you guys and feeding my little

babies. Oh, good on you Amy. I'm going to send you to the movies too, mate. You have a great day. Thank you. You too, New Zealand. Have a great Monday. We'll catch you guys tomorrow from sex. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the

iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.