Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - November 03 - Doggy Dan, Jono Pranked Ben Hard, How Did You Woo Your Partner?

Episode Date: November 2, 2020

Today was an absolute ripper. Jono pulled possibly the greatest prank on Ben today with the help of the whole team behind the scenes. Days of planning, money spent and secret meetings were what it took to pull it off. And we did, we HOOK LINE AND SINKERED Benjamin Ross Boyce! It's first up on the podcast so you won't miss it. We also had Doggy Dan from Dog Almighty on the show to answer questions you may have about trying to train your dogs or fix any issues going on - he literally knows everything about dogs! Finally, it came out that the way Prince William "wooed" Kate Middleton was by cooking her spaghetti bolognese... The most basic dish in the history of basic dishes. So we threw it out there and heard some of your stories about the weird ways you wooed your partner!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast, and today it's a big one because you, behind the scenes, you plotted a prank on me

that involved various people, all sorts of actors, involved an international phone call, a person as well. It was quite impressive. Yeah, no, there was a lot of balls in the air, to be honest. And I've never organised, I mean, I can't even organise my car to get a warrant. So I'm surprised that we managed to pull this off. But it involved the one and only Donald Trump. Or was it?

And no one's giving me any f***ing answers. Well, no, I'm not trying, I'm just trying to explain that we're from Radio Station New Zealand. Are you on a call with the Prime Minister? I don't know! I don't know! What I appreciated about it was the fact that it just came out of nowhere to me, because we were recording

stuff off-air. We've been calling a few random Americans around talking about the election. And then suddenly I'm like thinking I'm speaking to Donald Trump. Now, hey, mate, it's not your first prank rodeo. You've been pranking, you've had many years of pranking. A rich history of pranking. So to prank the prankster, you know, 20 illustrious years of pranking. You've really got to dot your I's and cross your T's.

I don't know if illustrious has ever been used with my career. But anyway, enjoy that on the podcast. Well done to everyone that put it together. You really got me good. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, yesterday after the show, Jono, you and the team here at radio put together the most elaborate prank on me

that I think you've ever done. Yeah, it was sort of four or five days in the making. A lot of cash exchanged hands. Oh, right. Unmarked bills to get this happening. But, yeah, basically after the programme yesterday, we were like, oh, the US election is on Wednesday. Let's just call a number in america

and see what they're thinking and we phoned five numbers off here none of them went through did they been that's right and then you were like this call uh the white house i'm like oh i don't know if we should be bugging the white house uh but what i didn't know is you had a whole elaborate plan all uh all mapped out with everyone here that you're about to hear is all in on it they're all actors they're all people like even even you, Producer Juvia, you were in on this. I was. And I didn't realise at the time. No, so everyone you are about to hear is an actor, apart from Ben Boyce, who is

playing his usual nervy self. Yeah, and jeez, you got me good. From where it started to where it ended, jeez, this escalated. So we bring you in on the action off here before the call's about to go through. US call. So what I might do, we'll just call the White House

and just go, I'll wish them good luck for the election. Call the White House? Yeah, they've got like a general enquiries line. You want to bug them a couple of days out from... Yeah. It's just the receipt. I've phoned them before

and they just hang up on you. But we might get a nice one. Yeah, the last thing they need is a quickie radio host from New Zealand going hey okay good afternoon

hello good afternoon hello good afternoon hi there how are you good Chris Warner calling here from the New Zealand government.

Prime Minister Ardern's Chief of Staff. Just had the Prime Minister on standby to wish her well wishes to President Trump. Hold this, sir. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? You're just going to listen. You there? Hello, Chris.

You there? Speaking. Paul Meadows, White House Chief of Staff. How's New Zealand today? Good, thank you. How are you? Good to hear. We're good, thank you.

It's a pretty busy time at the moment, as you may well guess. I imagine. Your team just got re-elected a couple of weeks ago yourself, didn't you? We did, yes We're all pretty happy The Prime Minister has been very busy aligning the Cabinet and putting people into positions I bet Congratulations on that

I was actually speaking with Ambassador Brown the other week He's on his way back home now. He said he's loved his time there. So thanks for having him. Oh, and we loved having him. He's a real personality. Now, I understand Prime Minister Ardern

would like a word with the President? Just to pass on the well wishes if you want to do that. Sure. That's very sweet. The President is just in a meeting at the moment. Let me just find out where that's at, if you don to do this? Sure. That's very sweet. The president is just in a meeting at the moment. Let me just find out where that's at, if you don't mind. No worries.

Thank you. Why have you gone way too deep here? Why are you posing as someone else you're not? It'll be fine. But what is the point of this? This is not... This is awkward, isn't it? This is causing anxiety.

I didn't know they were going to put the code all the way through. Yeah, but I didn't know you were going to be saying, hey, I'm whoever the hell you are from whatever the government. It'll be fine. But still, you're what? You've gone in deep. Well, you don't have to say anything. I haven't said anything.

I'm not going to say anything. It'll be fine. It'll be absolutely nothing. What is this? Chris, Chris, are you there? Hi, how are you? Hey, good, thanks. The president is just finishing up now

and he would love to have a conversation with the prime minister. We do need to be quick, though. Okay. She's standing by right now? Yes. This is a secure line, I assume. You came through Embassy Contact 1?

We just phoned the general line and they put me through here. But yeah, no, it's a secure line. All right. Okay. Well, you just hold there. And when I transfer you, you'll hear a beeping sound. Okay. That's just transferring you over to the Oval Office's secure line.

Thank you. All right. One second. Is this legit? Or is this you playing a joke?val Office's secure line. Thank you. All right, one second. Is this legit? Or is this you playing a joke? No, it's not. You're playing a joke on me. It feels like this is...

I don't want... I don't want... Juliet, you're going to have to be... You just be the Prime Minister. I don't sound like Jacinda Ardern. He's not going to... Don't... What do I say?

What do I say? What are you doing? Hello? Hello. Kelly. Oh, hello, Prime Minister. How are you? Good to talk to you again.

I'm very happy to be speaking with you. Oh, great. Great to speak to you too, President Trump. How are you? Well, I'm absolutely fantastic. We're looking at a very, you know, a rock solid win against Joe Biden. I think we're going to do very well in a lot of the key states. I don't think I'm going to have a landslide like you had, which was very, very impressive.

I have to tell you. I have to tell you. Thank you. I just wanted to say good luck for the election. I mean, I can imagine it's quite a difficult campaign. I know a lot of the hours that go into it and things like that. So yeah, all the best and hopefully once COVID is all under control we can

catch up. Well, I have to tell you, the job that you're doing with COVID is really, I have to say, I mean I'm doing a fantastic job but what you have done has been really, really incredible to say, it's been, I mean, I'm doing a fantastic job, but what you have done has been really, really incredible. And I think it's amazing. And I think you're just doing a tremendous job down there in Australia. And I'm so happy and I hope to continue it with the next four years in this next term. And hopefully you're not talking to Sleepy Joe because I don't think you'll like it.

Oh, really? Okay. Okay, thanks so much, Trump. Have a good rest of your day, okay? I'm really, really flattered that you reached out to me and I appreciate it and I count you as one of my friends, my world leader friends and I hope you feel the same way. Of course.

Of course. Thank you very much. See you. Okay. Thank you, Prime Minister. You're fantastic. Was that bullsh**? Was that bullsh**? No. You guys are on something here? I can hear people. Are we still on?

I don't want to talk. Is this the Prime Minister's assistant? Hello? Yes, hello. No, it's not. Who is this? Hello, it's... It's probably going to cause an international incident. Okay, this is not... Have I met you? Have I met you? Hello, it's... It's not going to cause an international incident. Okay, this is not...

Have I met you? Have I met you? No, listen... Kelly, who am I... Who is this? Why do I hear a lot of voices? Is this a secure line? I thought this was a secure line.

I don't know if this is a joke on me, but I don't want to talk on the radio right now. Shall I go out and get taught? This is President Trump. Who is this? Where are you going? Look, I'm very... This line should not be open.

This is a breach of national security. If you've hacked this line in any way, this line is being monitored by quite a few people. I don't know if this is... Quite a few people. I'm sorry. I don't know if this is actually Mr. Trump or not. I feel like there's a joke being played on me right now.

It certainly is. I'm sitting in a room with a bunch of people on a secure line, but I'm talking to someone who I don't know who I'm talking to. So if you could just kindly identify yourself. We're from a radio station in New Zealand. We don't want to cause it from New Zealand. I ministered the call. Somehow somebody else caught it,

and no one's giving me any f***ing answers. Well, no, I'm not trying, I'm just trying to explain that we're from Radio Station New Zealand. Why are you on a call with a prime minister? I don't know, I don't know. You better not be into that Borat bulls*** that happened to Mike Pence

because we do not like that at all. This crap is not funny. It's not funny. No, I'm not laughing. I'm not sure what's happening here right now. I feel like we're being caught up in something that... Listen, Ben, Ben, it's just the world's premier Donald Trump impersonator,

John DiDomenico, on the phone. Oh, Ben, how are you, buddy? It's been a long play. You're very good. What are we doing? Oh, the secret meetings behind the scenes to pull this off. John, you were magnificent. Thank you so much.

I guess I'm not going to fire you, Ben. I'm not going to fire you. I might fire myself. Panic stations in the studio, John. I was like, someone's making a joke on me, but you've, oh, geez, he's good. Oh, you are so good. Oh, thank you so much. Who were the other people then

oh they were just people in the office with American accents I mean there's a lot to piece together there is a lot to piece together I was like why is Juliet going in on

why is she part of this why are you pretending to be I like John John thank you so much for your time God bless you absolutely

this is probably the most listened to phone call in the history of phone calls hey you've got toothpaste in the history of football. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Now, the American election is happening tomorrow and you guys got me good.

You would have just heard it before the prank. If you missed it, check out our podcast where a very elaborate prank that went on behind the scenes. Which had you believing that we'd got through to Donald Trump's office lying, saying that we were Jacinda Ardern's staff and she wanted to

pass on her well wishes for the election and you were quite jumping and what you couldn't see was Ben jumping around the studio, taking his headphones off. I was like,

is this for real? Are you joking? And he goes, no, no, no. And I was like, maybe it's a joke on me, maybe it's not. I felt like I got in too deep.

You kind of left me in the studio. Alone. Alone. Both you guys ran off to get Boss Todd at some stage. And so I was just sitting there going, I don't know what's going on anymore.

So what are your questions? You said you had questions. I'm happy to answer all. This is like therapy. Okay. So let's work our way through it. So we first rang up, we obviously weren't calling the White House, right?

No, no. Who answered? So Boss Todd answered. Was that Boss Todd? With an American accent. Can we have a listen to that? Good afternoon, White House. Hello.

Good afternoon. Hello. Good afternoon, White House. Hi there. Oh, so that's Boss Todd. That's Boss Todd. But then I was kind of talking over him going, oh, because he kind of sounds half Australian-American.

I didn't know that at all. I totally would not have known that was Boss Todd. That's very confusing. So it wasn't the White House, so that was Todd. And then we went through to someone else who was like a White House staff member. And I'm guessing this was an actor as well. Hello, Chris.

Are you there? Speaking. Mark Meadows, White House Chief of Staff. How's New Zealand today? So that's Lockie, who's in the creative department. Who's a Kiwi? He's a Kiwi putting on an American accent. Unreal.

Oh, my God. Okay, so those are the first two. Okay, and then, Producer Juliet, you look very flustered as well. That was one of the things that sold it for me as well. I looked at Jono, and Jono was like, you know, it's good. And I was like, I couldn't get a gauge on him, but you look very flustered. Yeah. And then you got kind of roped in as well to be the Prime Minister.

Which I sound nothing like. Okay, thanks so much, Trump. Thanks so much, Trump. Thanks so much, Trump. I just thought you were quite flustered. And then say, thanks, Trump. Thanks so much, Trump. That's definitely how she's going to start it. You were acting as well.

You knew about this. Yes, yes, I did. Everyone knew about this. Everyone knew about it, yep. Yeah. And then I just got left. She wouldn't usually say thanks so much, Trump. No.

I just got left there in the studio. You ran off to get Boss Todd. Both of you ran out for some reason. And I didn't want to talk. And I just got left there freaking out. Look, ran off to get Boss Todd. Both of you ran out for some reason. I didn't want to talk and I just got left there freaking out. We're from a radio station in New Zealand. We don't want to cause it from New Zealand. A Prime Minister call. Somebody else caught it and no one's giving me any f***ing answers.

I'm just trying to explain that we're from a radio station in New Zealand. Where are you on a call with a Prime Minister? I don't know. I don't know. That was very well done. I have to explain that we're from Radio Station New Zealand. Are you on a call with the Prime Minister? I don't know. I don't know. Oh, it was very well done. I have to appreciate that. It was very well done. At that point, you thought you were talking to Donald Trump explaining a prank.

Well, yeah, I was sort of like, is this a prank? Like, there was part of me going, is this a prank? But then I was like, oh, if it's not a prank, I've got to explain to Donald Trump. Then I was like, oh, my God, is this actually happening? Because it all happened so fast. It was, yeah, I was like, one my God, is this actually happening? Because it all happened so fast. It was, yeah,

I was like, one minute we're calling like random Trumps in America. Well, because I suppose you don't, you're not expecting it. No, no, no,

no. So you're like, I didn't have any time to question whether we're actually talking to the real Donald Trump or not. So well done guys. That was very impressive. No,

thank you very much. I did none of the heavy lifting to be honest. So who was the guy that Trump impersonated? He's John G. Domenkos. He's based in Las Vegas and he's like, that's his job. He impersonates Donald Trump.

So he'll be hoping for another four years from Trump. So he gets paid for another four years. He's incredible, eh? So he's going on like the Howard Stern show and stuff after us, he was saying. Wow. So yeah, he wasn't cheap. But geez, he did a good prank.

The biggest prank is on Boss Todd, who has to pay for it. Who has to pay for the Trump and Benson. Hey, but the good news is apparently we've got some of these made, so that's all good. Hello, everyone. This is President Trump, the greatest president in the history of presidents,

and you're listening to the greatest morning show in the history of morning shows, The Hits Breakfast. It's huge. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben. The Hits breakfast. It's huge. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on The Hits.

Are we on air? That's the Hits. Jono and Ben. Sorry, sir. We had a chat to producer Humphrey. It was very interesting. What did he say? Producer, it's good.

Continue on your chat, producer Humphrey, and we'll just sit here in silence. Just listen to it. Just listen to it. Hold on. Just give us five seconds. We'll hear the end of it. Oh, okay.

All right. That was a good story. Really good. No one else can hear it on the radio. But anyway, now yesterday, producer Juliet, Prince William,

the big news came out worldwide that he had COVID back in April. He didn't let anyone know because he didn't want anyone to worry about him. I'm sure obviously immediate family would have known. I think there's a lot of shame for people who contract COVID, don't you? Because you feel responsible

I imagine you feel responsible for having it and you don't want to panic people that you've come in contact with. And it affected him quite badly. He was struggling to breathe. It's really sad. Yeah, I think they think that Prince Charles must have passed on to him, but Kate and the kids yeah. Classic Charles.

COVID Charlie. Yeah, of course he did. But Kate and the kids, yeah. Classic Charles. COVID Charlie. Yeah, of course he did. But Kate and the kids were all fine. But yeah, I think obviously he's better now, which is good to hear. Also yesterday, that news overshadowed the other news that we quite enjoyed. But that was when Prince William was wooing Kate in university. He cooked her a meal at the university. Well, I was going to say a flat, but surely he wasn't going to say a flat but they were surely he wasn't

at the university castle that happened to be on an estate so he cooked a meal which is nice and he cooked spaghetti bolognese which is the most

bland Tuesday night Wednesday night filler content dinner that you could provide on a date when you're trying to impress someone

yeah like there's nothing wrong with spaghetti bolognese he says he cooked it he walked to the kitchen grabbed it off the help and then walked a date. He says he cooked it. He walked to the kitchen and grabbed it off the help and then walked it back to Kate. Apparently he cooked it. He's got his recipe out and everything. He says he's not a great chef

but he did. He made this for her and this has helped them get together. She was impressed by this. Then they sat down and watched Country Calendar afterwards. Went to bed about 8 o'clock after a lovely... I own that country. That's pretty much New Zealand. That's how we own that. Now are you impressed?

Maybe that's what wooed her. Wasn't quite the speed. Oh, he's got a whole country. How many of these do you own? Oh, quite a few actually. So we wanted to know this morning on 0800 the Hats or 4487 on the text. What did you do? What was your unusual thing that you did to woo your partner? You know, was it

like cooking spaghetti bolognese? You know what it was for Jennifer? It was my full luscious head of hair at age 20. So you can only imagine what a bit of disappointment I had. So she's still with you now? Yeah, probably out of charity, if anything. William also had a luscious head of hair, didn't he? Yeah.

But yeah, don't try and make me feel better. A couple of countries as well, right? So 0800, but yeah, don't try and make me feel better. A couple of countries as well, right? So 0800, I'd love to hear from you today. We'll find some prizes for people that get on the air. How did you woo Amanda? I can't imagine you as a wooey type of guy.

No, I'm not really a wooey type of guy. What did you do to woo? I forgot no game. His Toy Story merch. She's like, oh, there's a guy with a Toy Story backpack. I could mother him. All right, we're going to go to the phones.

What did you do to woo your partner? Was it a spaghetti bolognese? Was it a signature move? Was it your dashing looks? Serena, you talk to us. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. Hello. Hello.

What did you do to woo your partner? So it wasn't me. It was him. We were both training up for a fight, and I was the only girl in the gym. And none of the other guys wanted to spar me, so it was really hard to train. But he did.

He kicked me in the head. Oh. And as that man was roundhouse kicking me to my jaw, I thought, there's a guy I want to be with. Jeez, okay. Well, he treated me fairly. Oh, there's a guy I want to be with. He treated me fairly. Oh, that's cool. I wanted a hard match and to

train and he did. And did you win your fight you were training for? Yes, I did. It was a match made in a bloody blood sport. Love it. Are you still kickboxing the both of you? Yes, and we've been together seven years. Oh, I would not want to break into your house.

Imagine it. Yeah. Both of you coming from both angles. Yes, and our son does jujitsu as well. He's an Oceana champ. The most dangerous family in New Zealand. I love it. Hey, well, thanks for listening, Serena.

There you go. All it took was a roundhouse kick to the chops. Oh, jeez. Okay. Good on you, matey. You have a great day. You too. Cheers.

Let's go to Justin in Invercargill. You wooed. How'd you woo, Justin? Oh, it was a great story. I was driving back from Gore, and there was, we laughed on the side of the road with a flat tire.

Yeah. So I pulled over and gave her a hand and then invited her for a drink at my local, the Northern. And next thing you know, we've been married for 10 years. Oh, very nice. All because you helped out a damsel in distress. Yeah, well, the time was actually quite stuck, so I didn't even do the job in the end.

No, yeah. You looked like you were going to, and that was the main thing. Exactly. It's a thought that counts, boys. It's good on you, Justin. Thank you. We'll go to Dee. Welcome in Rotorua.

What wooed you, Dee? Well, my husband sent me flowers every month until we had kids and we've been together for 28 years. Oh, every month he's given you flowers? No, until the

kids arrived. Oh, until the kids arrived. Then the love was gone. Then the marriage fizzled out. Oh, no, no, no. We're not logging together, but hey, it was nice at the time. That's such a lovely thing. Every month. Yep.

Was he going out and buying them or was he just sort of whipping past you? No, he would send them to me and then it sort of disappeared for a little while until I moaned that I hadn't had flowers. Oh, isn't that a lovely gesture? Now, there's people like that that make the rest of us look shocking. I mean, you've got a friend, Ben, who fills up his partner's car every weekend for it. Oh, yes, he's never put petrol in a car.

I'm like, you're making us all look bad. Yeah. Like, Terrence, stop. Don't. Don't you laugh, Dee. Just because we're below the bar. I appreciate your call this morning. Morning.

It's Jono and Ben on the hips. Now, this week, the BNZ are doing a very cool thing. They are doing a Scam Savvy Week at the BNZ. They've set up a website. It's called getscamsavvy.co.nz. And we're joined by Ashley Kaifong from the BNZ. Ashley, why are you doing this? Well, we've seen a huge increase in scams at the moment,

which is really concerning. So the bank's put together GetScamSavvy.co.nz and we're running this week to try and educate New Zealanders to stop falling for these scams. So what are we talking here, Ashley? What sort of scams have we got going? Because Ben, he was running a bit of a cheeky Ponzi scheme for a while

there. He never got found out. I wasn't doing it. Anyway, I won't talk about that now. But what have you got your eye on there, Ashley? Probably the most common scheme is the remote access scheme. This is where somebody calls up and says there's either something wrong with your internet or they're from your bank saying there's something wrong with the transactions. And what they're trying to do is actually get your confidence and then ask you to download software to get

remote access to your computer or your mobile phone. And then they get you to try and log on to your internet banking. And once you've done that, they can transfer funds without you knowing. And how many people fall for this? Unfortunately, far too many. Most of the scams that we see for remote access are probably about 50% to 60% of the scams that we deal with are remote access scams.

Wow. So the top five scams in New Zealand, I'm just reading that. So obviously fake lottery or prizes. You've got tech scam, phone calls, fraud letters, inheritance scam, and pretending to be government services. So there's a lot of a wide variety of scams that come through, don't they? Yes, unfortunately. And it's only bounded by the scammers or their imagination.

Whatever will hook in or people to give away their money. Obviously, obviously it's dependent on the website. But how safe is online shopping? Because I am just frivolously typing in my credit card to all sorts of websites. Is that a wise thing to do? Should we have an internet-specific card? That's also a wise choice. Online shopping's fine so long as you do your research,

do reverse image searches on the internet to see whether or not that lovely puppy that you've been looking for has come up somewhere else or has been sold several times. You can look online for reviews or comments from people. But definitely a good tip is to have an online credit card. Only has a small ballot on. We've got Ashley Kai Fong with us. It's Scam Week this week at the BMZ. BMZ scamming us all.

No, they've set up a website. It's called getscamsavvy.co.nz. So obviously on this website, it gives people tools, information, those sorts of things to look out for. Yep, sure does. And if you don't want to go into the website, you can go into one of our branches

and we're running Get Scams Savvy sessions in branches as well. 78% of New Zealanders, sorry, Jono, have been the target of a scam. I'm just reading right now. That is a lot. That's a lot. And how can you pick a scam as a scam?

There are some telltale signs, bad grammar, a sense of urgency, and it's the general thing. If it looks like the deal of the century and it looks too good to be true, then it probably is. Now, we're always focusing on the negative, the bad stories. Has there ever been

a good story where someone actually has got an inheritance or money from a prince? Has that ever happened or not? Unfortunately not. Not that I know of, but if you do find them, then give them my number because I'd like some of that as well. Well, that's good. I just wanted to know if those stories

were out there, but we weren't hearing about them. Have you ever been scammed, Ashley? No. I just wanted to know if those stories were out there, but we weren't hearing about them. Have you ever been scammed, Ashley? No. I'm happy to say I haven't. Yeah, you'd have to have a scam-free career. Otherwise, it was a shocking job placement by the BNZD. He's like, I get done weekly. This is where we tell you we're not actually a radio show.

You've been scammed. By the way, we need your credit card number and the three-digit code on the back. Is there a demograph, a certain demograph that gets scammed more than others? Like what I'm trying to say, long story short, is are there a generation now of tech-savvy millennials who will never be scammed or they actually do get duped? Look, scams affect everyone.

There is no real demographic of how the people being duped, even like 35 to 44-year-olds or busy life, not kind of paying attention to some of the stuff that they're doing because they've got a busy life, can get scammed. Do you catch the scammers? We assist the police to catch the scammers by providing them the information that they need sometimes. So if someone's scamming in an overseas country, eastern Russia, I've got it in my mind for some reason,

are they ever going to get caught? Are they ever going to get held to account? That's difficult to say. All I can probably tell you is the sooner that you tell somebody and speak up about it, because for a lot of people it's embarrassing, but the sooner that you tell somebody about it, the sooner something can be done. That's the thing, because you do feel a bit embarrassed, like you've been duped, right?

So you do, yeah. And I was reading again on your website that a lot of people don't report it for that reason. Yeah. Our message to people is, if you think you've been scammed, contact somebody, be it your bank, NetSafe, the police, 3DNZ, or even a relative,

and maybe they can assist you. Well, listen, this has been really interesting, Ashley. Ashley Kaifong, if you want to go and visit that website, Scam Savvy website, what is it again, mate? www.etscamsavvy.co.nz Do you know what would be a savvy scam, is if you were a scammer, hosing from the bank,

and you set up this website that everyone enters their details. I just gave Ashley off air my credit card details. Oh God. He needed it for the interview. I wondered why he needed a deposit. Ashley's like, I'm not laughing at that. He can't. I will not engage

in this banter. Hey Ashley, a really lovely thing you're doing for New Zealand. We really do appreciate it. Great, thanks for having me. Good on you, Ashley. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We were just talking to Ashley about scam week this week, and

yesterday I witnessed firsthand with my own eyeballs a scam in the supermarket. Oh, really? And it's something that I think all of us as children would have done at some point. It's a mini little heist that you commit on your parents. And so I saw this young child, she would have been four, five, in the checkout.

And her mum was preoccupied taking things from the supermarket trolley and putting them on the conveyor belt. Oh, yeah. And while she's doing that, I witnessed her, like, sliding packets of Skittles into the trolley. And little bits of Kinder Surprises. That's a good play. There was at least half a dozen chocolates.

And while mum's distracted talking with the operator, just blindly loading stuff on, got it through, passed the goalie. I was like, that is, did everyone give that a go when you were a child? Oh, definitely when the kids were younger, walking down the supermarket aisles, you'd be walking down, and it's almost a game. They'd put stuff in the trolley, and then you'd slowly put stuff out. Yes, they didn't notice.

It was the thrill of seeing whether anything would make it through the checkout as well. That's a little game you played, right? Julia, you said you flexed the pick and mix. Yeah. When I was younger, my cousin and I used to go to the supermarket and just go into the pick and mix and put all these lollies in our pockets and then we'd run out to the supermarket, run to the bathroom

and scoff them in the bathrooms and then we'd put the wrappers in the sanitary bins so that you couldn't see them and that no one would find out. And then I felt really guilty afterwards. But then the guilt went away and we'd do it all again. I think that's what they call shoplifting. Definitely theft. Yeah, that's illegal in the eyes of the law.

Haven't stolen anything since. Let me just put that out there. But she was only doing it last week. But since then, has not raided the pick and mace. It's been five days and we're really proud of her. Yeah, thank you. Are you one of these people too, and I really respect the people

that wander around the supermarket eating stuff. Oh, yeah. You know, the confidence of like just eating a bag of chips and then they swipe it through at the checkout, obviously, but I'm like, damn, I respect that human being. That takes a lot of gumption. You wonder, for everyone that's eating it and swiping it through,

you wonder how many people aren't actually swiping it through. The supermarkets must, you know. Let's call a spade a spade. The self-service checkers. I know what you're going to say. No. They're relying on a lot of honesty from us. They are relying on too much honesty. Too much. Because sometimes you put

fruit on and they're like, how many of these are in the bag? And I'm like, well, three less than there actually are. Thank you very much. It's too much. There's too much temptation in the self-service check-out. You know you have. I get too much guilt doing that in that situation, so I haven't. Have you fleeced the

self-service check-out, Choo Choo? I think I've once or twice put things through as a different item. I wouldn't make you be any pick and mix in the toilet. Of course, that's a low-level crime compared to your pick and mix heist. Yeah, exactly. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Joddo and Ben on the hits. Dog Almighty, it's a brand-new reality show that we're hosting,

looking for New Zealand's most talented dog. It's on TVNZ again tonight, TVNZ 2 at 7.30. And joining us is dog expert Doggy Dan. How's it going? Doing great. Now, Doggy Dan's kind of come on the show to offer his services, what you basically pay for,

for free this morning. So, 0100 the Hats is the phone number. Have you got a dog-related question that you could ask Doggy Dan you want to know? Ben, you got a dog. The dog was fat-shamed during the filming of our show, wasn't it? It was.

The vet said Ben's dog was eating too much. Has he put him on a diet? There's a question actually related to that, Jono. How do you know how much exercise to give a dog? It varies massively. A good test for whether you're over walking your dog, I would say is this. When you're walking your dog,

just sit down, you know, on the grass or on a bench and see what your dog does. If your dog sits down or lies down, chances are it's tired. It doesn't need any more walking. Can I ask a quick question? Because obviously there's that saying, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Now, I love

my dog Bo, as you know, but there's some things I'm like, oh, it would have been good to do more work with Bo earlier on. So is it too late for me now? No, that's a myth. The real problem is that as humans, we do the same thing again and again and again and then we say, oh the dog's stupid, he can't change. Well no, it's the owner who's not changing what they're

doing. So what we need to do is we often need a different approach to the way we're doing stuff. So for example, what is it that you're struggling with, Ben? His dog steals a lot of underwear from the neighbourhood. Oh, okay. Pick it up and put it in the wash basket. He does bark a lot when you get people over.

He gets very excited, very excitable. He loves people, which is great, but it's just trying to get him, you know, to be a bit calmer when people arrive. He just gets very excited. Yeah. So even there, you see, what often happens is we give the dog so much attention

when we come home. And so the dog learns that that's kind of the expected behaviour that, you know, if the dog jumps up and we pat them, then we're training the dog to do that and we're rewarding them for jumping up. So very simply, if you just stop doing that and ignore your dog for a little bit, then the dog learns that when people come through the door, they don't need to jump up and... Oh, that's good to know.

We've got Doggy Dan with us from Dog Almighty and he is here to answer any of your questions. If you own a dog, thinking about getting a dog, Dan is the man to speak to. 0800, that's the phone number. Alex is on the phone. Your question for Double D. Oh, hi. I was wondering, my dog has just started digging a lot of holes in the backyard. I don't know if she's trying to tell me something, but why does she keep digging them? So I would suggest that the chances are your dog's not so much bored as it's actually separation anxiety. Oh, I see.

So what I mean by that is people think, oh, my dog must be bored. But, you know, thinking logically about it, the question is when you come home, does your dog keep digging or does your dog kind of chill out and relax. So very often what actually happens is when you leave the house, dogs in general start doing things like digging home, holes, barking, stealing, washing off the line, destroying the place. All of that is actually separation anxiety. If you think of it like this, the dog thinks they're meant to be looking after you. So when the dog thinks they're meant to be looking after you and you leave the house, the dog can become stressed. There we go. One of the things they do is start digging or chewing. So it's really a leadership issue, in my opinion, rather than a boredom issue.

I see. So I'll just never leave its side. That's the answer. Yeah, that's the answer. No, no, no. This is where this is tricky because I can kind of explain to you what the cause of the problem is. However, explaining how to become your dog's leader

is a little bit more complex, but at least you know it's not boredom and I wouldn't go around just throwing food down and treats and lots of chew toys because that's not going to solve it. You need to understand how to become the pack leader. Cool. All right, there we go. Grow a tail and become the pack leader, Alex. Yeah, yeah. Thank you very much for your call. Appreciate it. and become the pack leader, Alex. Yeah.

Thank you very much for your call. Appreciate it. Ella's on the phone from Christchurch. A question for doggy Dan. Ella. Hi. So my dog is nine months. She's very smart, very talented.

But if she hears any noise outside, she'll just nonstop bark. And I just don't know how to stop her from barking. Okay. So funny this. Because all my solutions come back to if you know how to say your dog, hey, I'm in charge or we don't want to use the leader word too much

because some people don't like that thought but at the end of the day, your dog needs guidance. You're the one making the decision so the more the dog knows you're in charge,

the more they'll chill out and relax. So here's a couple of actual practical tips you can do. When your dog is actually barking, try to keep your energy low rather than overreacting

so what we tend to do is we shout knock it off or that's enough hey knock it off so if you this is something you actually try it's hard to explain it on the on the mic but say something like thank you very calm and then if the dog continues actually walk over to the window where your dog is. Look out the window and then just go, thank you, or say, there's nothing there. Turn and walk away. And watch what your dog does. You'd be amazed how just acknowledging

that the dog's barking, go and have a look, and just say, I've checked it out, there's nothing there, can be incredibly powerful because the dog realises you've listened to them, you've had a look and you're not bothered by it. Well, it's all about this. They vibe off you. So if Ben's dog, which is an absolute shambles,

barking around, stealing MDs, he's vibing off Ben. Yeah. A lot of the time they do. Totally. I mean, it's actually been scientifically proven that the dogs pick up on her vibe. I've heard you say before that dogs can often be a mirror of their owners like a reflection, yeah.

Doggy Dan, always good to catch up. Catch him on the telly tonight, 7.30 on TVNZ2 Dog Almighty and you can catch your, what's your website? People want more info? DoggyDan.co.nz or theonlinedogtrainer.com Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jonoonlinedogtrainer.com.

Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. And of course today, it's the race that stops the nation and a nation that's already stopped thanks to a virus that stopped the world. It's this. Start your Melbourne Cup Day Sweepstake Party brought to you by the TAB.

Now you're in the game. Just after five o'clock is normally the time it's on in New Zealand. And TVNZ have got from 4.30, they're doing a whole lot of coverage tonight on TVNZ 1. So make sure you check that out. And very disappointed that no crowds at Flemington today, which makes sense. I hope the horses are going to be socially distancing as well to be safe.

Yeah, so one will win, and then the other will be a couple of metres behind. One and a half metres behind. And they'll be using the Tracer app as well to be safe. Yeah, so one will win and then the other one will be a couple of metres behind. One and a half metres behind. And they'll be using the Tracer app as well at the finish line just so they know where they were at that time. But the thing I'm most disappointed about is we get no drunk, intoxicated Aussie bogans

on our news bulletins at 6 o'clock. Yeah, that was always a favourite, wasn't it? I love the annual story of like, oh, people overindulged and then there's some lady vomiting in her fascinator lying in a garden. And there's a guy like... That's where we start. It's like that whole meme at the moment. How it started and then how it's

going. It's basically like that. How it started, it all looked amazing and how it's going. Oh, sophisticated, yeah. Heads up in a buddy wheelie, but at the back of Flemington or something. An event doesn't derail so quickly, like the races. I mean, Juliet, you were at the races a couple of weeks ago. Were you head up in a wheelie bin?

Were you heads down? Almost, almost. I mean, a couple of years ago, I nearly got kicked off an Air New Zealand flight because I flew home the same day. I heard about that. Yeah, but I feel like I could go to the Melbourne Cup and I'd fit in quite nicely with those reckless people.

Why can't we just go along and enjoy the horse race? Why do you have to be funny? People don't even watch the horse race. They're like, well, the horse is on. I can't we just go along and enjoy the horse race? Why do you have to be funny? People don't even watch the horse race. They're like, well, the horse is on? I don't know. But I always get a little bit, you know, annoyed about the Melbourne Cup because of something that happened previously.

When I was younger, my parents were like, pick a number. I think I was about three or four. Yeah, pick a number. Nothing like getting into a rampant gambling at a toddler age. Yeah, and I picked a number and it came in. And they were like,

they always say, you remember when you won? And I was like, well, what did you buy me with that money, 120 bucks? They're like, we got you a new jacket. I'm like, well, I know kids' prices. You fleeced,

you fleeced the whole... You went to TNT Children's Wear. Ben still shops at TNT Children's Wear because he's got... Still got that jacket. Still got the body of a child. But I'm like,

you really got a whole lot, $100 a clear off the top, but anyway. TAB, anyway, have given us some vouchers thanks to the TAB and you can be part of the sweepstakes. We've been handing out horses

all morning. And now's the chance to do another one. If you want to win one of the horses in the sweepstakes, you've just got to text HORSE to 4487. And right now, should we allocate a horse? Should we do that? Yeah! Under the hood, if your horse wins that we allocate you, you'll get $500 cash and you can join the TAB.

And they'll match your first deposit if you join the TAB. Up to $100 in bonus bets. Use the promo code SPRING. We've got Manai on the phone from Lower Hutt. How are you? Good, thank you. Am I saying your name correctly? I don't know.

Manai? Yep, you've got it. Oh, nailed it. There we go. I want to pronounce it correctly. Hey, well done. You have got a horse in the race. You can be jumping up and down,

screaming at the television unreasonably at five o'clock this evening. Yeah, I should be home. We're going to give you the horse Avilius. Avilius, A-V-I-L-I-U-S, is your horse in the race. So if that wins, you'll get $500. Awesome. How does that sound?

Now, we like to end each phone call with a bit of a race commentary. So if you can take us out, Manai, with a bit of race commentary, horse racing commentary, definitely not throwing you under the bus here.

I wouldn't have a clue. Number three, coming in. Number four, coming closer. Number 10, fire nose. Number two.

Number three, getting closer. The other horses have also got four legs and getting close as well. That was a good effort on the spot. We appreciate it. You're on the line. We'll grab your details and good luck this afternoon. Sweet, thank you. And don't forget the TAB getting New Zealand ready for the race

that stops two nations this afternoon. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Bye. No, what's up? and Ben on my heads. Spy. Know what's up. Spy.co.nz. All right, now it's time for Ben Boyce

to pretend that he's interested in what Juliet is saying. It's the spy update. What's happening in the entertainment world? Just clearing some emails, but I am interested. Okay, cool.

Cool, cool, cool. So the Queen is reportedly going to be stepping down from royal duties in 2021. Wow. Passing the baton onto Prince Charles. So apparently she wanted to finish up when she turns 95,

which is in April next year. Yeah, I wish she could get a good seven or eight days retirement in before it's all over. Ironically, she's probably due to her needs. It's quite hard for her to step down. But that is a great innings. Such a great effort. Question I want to ask.

Do usually the leaders, the kings and queens, do they usually die in the throne and then someone naturally comes in? I can't remember anyone retiring, but mind you, I haven't been around that long. I think in previous generations, well, I haven't been around that long either, but I think in past, you know, I think they passed away and then it would be forced onto it. Because, you know, people are living longer these days, so I think the queen is just, just like knocking everyone out of the park.

She wasn't meant to get it originally, right? No, I think it was meant to be. There was a different line that was meant to happen. It was a brother or something. I watched The Crown and then he, anyway, due to marriage and royal things, he kind of went off and she got the role very young. So it means that little Prince Charlotte, Louis and George, all of them wouldn't probably be in the limelight.

Well, yeah. Well, that's what I care about. So it goes the Queen, Charles, William, then all of his children. Yeah. And then Harry would be after the kids. Well, but then their kids all have kids. So Harry's kind of out of it. He's shunted.

He's living in LA doing Instagram posts. Yeah, but let's just say a hypothetical. And thank goodness it didn't happen, because William had COVID as well. Yes, he did. So let's say in the worst case scenario that, you know, he wasn't around, Prince Charles had COVID, he wasn't around.

So they're all riddled with COVID in this hypothetical situation. Thankfully this never happened. How's the Queen? Has she got COVID? She's probably... A couple of years later, she's gone. And then you're like, oh, there's only the kids now. They're too young.

I don't know if this, I'm not a royal. Calling Harry. You've got to come back, mate. I know. We need you. You're back in. And he would have been like, who dis? He'd be like white baiting with Stephen Donald on the river.

And he's off the bench. Yeah. See, I reckon that'd be like Megan's worst nightmare to come back to the royal family. Not as queen, though. But then you had a good point. She'd be like, yeah, baby, I'm queen. She would laugh it up. She'd love it.

You know, so I'm glad that hasn't happened because obviously you don't wish it all upon anyone. Imagine that. Yeah, but there was like this. I love it how I don't wish it upon anyone but I created this wonderful hypothetical situation

just so I could see who would be the leader. It would fall on her. So at what age? In a sort of Game of Thrones style, you know how all of a sudden characters, some of your favourite characters just go.

I say, how old's George? Roll him in there at age seven. I think he's about, yeah, he's about six or seven now. Yeah,

that's the question. Fortnite for everyone and all sorts. It'd be a fun 10 years, wouldn't it? We're like, wow, they really painted

the palace and the actual bouncy castle. Literally. And that's five for more. You can head to the hits.co.nz. Start your day

the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Of course it is Melbourne Cup Day. Start your Melbourne Cup Day sweepstake party brought to you by the TAB.

Now you're in the game. Now if you want to text HORSE to 4487 you can go in the draw to be assigned a horse in the hits sweepstake if your horse wins. You'll win $500 thanks to the TAB and if you

join the TAB, they'll match your first deposit up to $100 in bonus bets. Use the promo code SPRING. There we go. Now, all you need to do is text HORSE to 4487 and you can be part of the hit sweepstakes. We've been giving away many horses this

morning. Have you ever ridden a horse? What's the last thing you rode? I rode an electric scooter. Oh, yeah, no, I've ridden a horse. I've done the horse trekking. Have you? Yeah, a couple of times.

I hear it's quite sore on your inner thigh. Well, I guess you're not really used to that sort of, you know. You're spread wide, aren't you? There's not as much cushioning in the suspension as you're going along. Does the horse seat provide a comfortable seating arrangement for your gluteus? It was okay, but I feel like at any stage the horse, you feel like, oh, yeah, I'm in charge, but you're not. At any stage the horse, if he's over you or she's over you, you're gone.

They're gone. Yeah. Now Juliet's saying move on. She's been grossing over time. She's doing the helicopter thing. Did you not like that horse banter? I thought it was great But we just need to be official here Hayley you're on the air

The horse is bolted Hi guys Good things Hey Hayley They tell us No chat with Hayley mate No time No time

Alright Hayley bye Hayley you're part of the sweepstake What horse do you want? I want the one called Surprise Baby We'll give you Surprise Baby Why do you want? I want the one called Surprise Baby we'll give you Surprise Baby why do you want Surprise Baby? my wife and I

are trying for IVF and wouldn't that be just such an awesome omen if we got a Surprise Baby aww would be would be $500 towards it

wow hopefully it all comes in for you imagine if it does this will be a wonderful moment we'll definitely replay this tomorrow if it does don't you worry about that

Golden Thank you so much No worries All the very best $500 could be all yours If Surprise Baby Comes in this afternoon Don't forget

You can catch the Melbourne Cup On TVNZ1 From 4.30 today It took a whole hour of a show Tiny Streets I think Is hosting it as well So it'll be great How long's the race?

Well no The race is not an hour The horses are like Well this has got longer this year. Oh, they've got pre-banter, post-banter. They fill it out for an hour. They have fascinators on. They have fascinating conversations.

Oh, man, I mean, we fill out. We need to wrap that up. Yeah, true. We fill out way too much conversation over three hours. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram.

Hard-hitting political analysis. We know that's why you come to this program and that's why we're going to deliver on it right now because about two months ago we predicted something. Yeah. That we were mocked weren't we around the office, around the political circles. The beehive was laughing in our faces. Everyone thought, yeah it was a mistake and it was at the time. It was. And we had Grant Robertson on the show from the Labour Party.

And all morning throughout the show, we said he was the Deputy Prime Minister. Yeah. And he wasn't the Deputy Prime Minister. No, we said it about 32 times. I don't know why we teased him so much. Have a listen. After seven o'clock on the show today, Grant Robertson, the Deputy Prime Minister, will join us. This morning we're going to talk to Labour Deputy

Grant Robertson. After seven o'clock on the show, the Deputy Prime Minister Grant Robertson joins us. As we said, Deputy Labour MP Grant Robertson is going to be joining us. We've got Grant Robertson, Labour Party Deputy Leader, joining us very shortly. Plus

Labour Deputy Grant Robertson too going to be joining us before eight o'clock. Grant Robertson, Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, joins us very shortly. Plus Labour Deputy Grant Robertson too going to be joining us before 8 o'clock. Grant Robertson, Deputy Leader of the Labour Party joins us very shortly. Joining us on the phone right now and we thank him very much for his time this morning. Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Grant Robertson, how's it going? I'm not by the way, we do just need to greatly

clear that up. No, I'm just the humble Minister of Finance. Oh! Who's the Deputy Leader? No, that's of Finance. Oh! Who's the Deputy Leader? No, that's Kelvin Davis. Oh, it is too! We've been saying it all morning, mate. So he was the Deputy Prime Minister or Deputy Leader of the Labour Party,

but he is the Deputy Prime Minister now. That's right. We picked it. We picked it. Not at the time. We didn't know what we were talking about. You know what I think happened is when Jacinda was shuffling the cabinet

and aligning roles to people, Grant went to her and he was like, oh, you know, they spent two hours on the hits one morning saying I was the deputy, so I may as well be the deputy. She's like, that's a good enough reason for me. You're in. It's awesome that he is deputy prime minister, deputy leader. So where's Kelvin Davis? What's he doing?

He's still the deputy leader of the Labour Party as well. He didn't want the Deputy Prime Minister job. He's happy being Deputy Leader of Labour. So there you go. It seems like everyone's happy with their new positions. What about our friend the Hippo? Chris Hipkins. We love the Hippo. He's got a ministerial position as well. He's doing a great job. How adorable is the

Hippo? We love that little guy. He got more votes in the election than any other politician. More people voted for him, votes in the election than any other politician. More people voted for him, Chris Hipkins, than any other, including Jacinda Ardern because of his electorate.

He got actually more votes. He's a lovable guy. I just want to grab him by his cheeks and go, I love you little hippo. My little, little hippo. So there we go. We predicted the future.

Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of music. Hey! We're guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We call one a day. We're slowly making our way all around New Zealand, learning about each

place as we go. And we're heading to Hikudaya, which is on the Hauraki Plains in New Zealand. It lies on State Highway 26. Also lying on State Highway 26, a couple of dead possums and a rabbit. But let's not focus on that because it's time to call the local school in Hikotaya.

Kia ora. Welcome to Hikotaya School. Karen speaking. Kia ora, Karen. How are you? Good, thank you. It's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. We're phoning every town in Aotearoa.

We're doing it alphabetically, Kaz. Oh, well done. And we're in the depths of the H's right now. And Hikataia is the next on the list. Wonderful. What are you wanting me to do? I just want you to help us out by telling us a little about the place you live in. How long have you lived there? I've lived here since I was 10, so a very, very, very long time.

Okay, we won't get into specifics. Won't ask your age. It's rude. It's rude to ask an age. It is rude. A lovely part of New Zealand? It is. It's beautiful.

It's a lovely little rural town. So we have one school, one pub, and a store. Lovely. And I love a town one pub, and a store. Lovely. And I love a town with a school and a pub. Do you ever mix the two up and take the kids to the pub? Well, no, not take the kids, but we go. You go. You get to go after school hours, right?

Friday afternoon teaching can get a little sloppy at times. Yeah. And so if people are going to come to Hekataia, what should they do? We've got the trail ride that goes in between, you know, so you can actually join up to Paeroa or Thames. Mm-hmm. And, you know, our pub is lovely. You can go to our pub.

Or you can go visit the school. Yeah. And then go back to the pub. Well, you could do that. Now, I'm just on an article here about the pub. Yes. And they tell me that the tavern owner had a heart attack Yes he did

And was brought back to life Oh wow What happened? Yeah he was very lucky, he'd gone for a bike ride I think And came back and wasn't feeling too good because he was working down in the South Island And he went to the local down there and yeah He's all good now? Yeah they brought him back

So now we've got a defibrillator actually at the Hookah Tire pub Oh I bet after a few drinks that comes out as a bit of a pranky machine. Who wants to get brought back resuscitated back to life? Leave it, leave it. That's for health things. Oh, you've been so nice to talk to you. Thank you for your time this morning. That's all right.

Now, before we go, we'd like to do an on-the-spot commercial just quickly. You just fill in the blanks, okay? Have you ever thought about a wonderful trip to Hikotai, where the locals always say, Hello, or Kia ora. While there, why don't you check out the local

hotel, Hikotai Po. Once you've visited there, you can always go back to the back to the pub again. And the locals always say you must remember to visit the... The local as well as the school and the store. And as they always say in Hikotai. It is a great place to visit.

Oh, I love your work. You look after yourself there. Thank you so much. Nice talking to you. We might see you at the pub sometime. Absolutely. All right, see you. Okay, bye.

Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Annie and Jon, they made me in a moment of passion. And then a lifetime of regret after that. But no, they're up at the moment. Went out for like an afternoon tea thing with them to a restaurant. And it was a pub restaurant. You know they do nice pub meals?

Yeah. The people next to us, which I found very interesting, they had two burgers and they were sharing a bowl of chips in the middle. They finished the burgers. They were plentiful burgers and they were obviously so full. And they probably only had the top layer of chips. There was still three quarters of a bowl of chips left on the table when they left.

And the people the next table along, once they departed, took the chips and started eating them. Oh, so they went over there and went, arrr, arrr. They seagulled it. I mean, we get all salty at seagulls for doing the same thing, don't we?

I guess they don't want the chips. Is it fair game? The restaurant's just going to throw them out. They probably are, aren't they? It's not like they can reserve them, so you're right. 0800, I mean, 0800 the hits. Yeah, a little quick snap poll here. Leftover food on restaurant tables from other patrons.

Can you go in and take it? Because this could be the key to dining out for free. You just sit at a table waiting for people to finish their meals and then just swoop in and eat the rest. I'm sure people would do it. Didn't your mate of yours used to go around back in the day? With drinks. Drinking drinks.

Before, obviously, a worldwide pandemic, and we went, oh, maybe we shouldn't share drinks with other people. Yeah, he would never buy a drink. And then so people would be drinking, they'd put their drink down and turn to talk to their friend, and he would kind of swoop in behind them and finish up very men in gypsy

yes and I mean it's not the sort of stuff you would conduct in a pandemic no right now no

and probably the fries sharing is one as well you're probably like oh okay with the randos that you don't know but I guess you would take some

rando chips wouldn't you mate that were free chips you love it you love it to save a dollar yeah I had that the other night. But there were people we knew at the table. They had gone to pick up. Yeah, it was the

kids. It was the parent. You know, when I said the other day the school disco was on, the parents had like, we've got two hours. We're hitting the pub while the kids are at the disco. But some other parents had ordered some food and they had to quickly go off the road. And I was like, well, I know these people that leave this year, so I have a little bit of it. You know, that's fine, but I hadn't gone to

the extent of going to another table. When I used to work at Ellerslie Racecourse as a waiter for a very short period of time, albeit Ben always makes fun of me for leaving halfway through a shift and never returning. Sometimes when I'd collect people's food, the plates, I'd eat some of it out the back in the kitchen. It's there.

You don't want to go to waste. Someone's texting saying, I do this all the time. 4487. You don't want to go to waste. Yeah, okay. Someone's texting saying, I do this all the time. 4487. Oh, really? I do this regularly. I hate to see food go to waste. Even when I'm full

and someone next to me leaves a half a plate of food, I'll eat it. Juliet, would you? Oh, yeah, I'm so that person. I'm always hungry and I hate wasting food. So, like, I'm definitely that person.

She's drunk out of a shoe, for goodness sake. She's going to have no qualms about it. Someone's calling on 0800, the hat's all right. What can you do? Ben Humphrey, should we talk to them? He's currently talking to them now. They're in the waiting room. They're in the waiting room.

Is he going to let them through? He's smiling. He's going to let them through. We're giving them a nod. Here we go. You've been given the nod. Who's this? This is Jonathan.

Jonathan, you've been given the seal of approval by producer Humphrey. You've made it through the first level of security. Well done. He's through to us here on the hits. Do you eat leftover food? Oh, absolutely. Man, food isn't cheap. And, like, you know, you pay for your food.

I like to eat food. And whenever I see someone hasn't finished their food, I grab it. I was at an East Indian restaurant and I didn't even see the people leave, but I saw on their table there was a whole basket of naan bread left. So I grabbed it and finished off my butter chicken with their naan bread.

Why wouldn't you? And then they came back and they were like, we just went outside for a breather. And a brick grape. And those guys demolished all our naan breads. Sorry about that. It's all about timing. And this guy's demolished all our Narn bridge. Sorry, I thought you were going to... Oh, sorry about that. It's all about timing.

Got to reiterate that. I really appreciate you, Cole. Hold the line, buddy. We'll send you out something. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. All righty, strap yourselves in, old turtle.

Here comes some hazy information about topical news stories from overnight. The Melbourne Cup happening today in Victoria. They normally say it's the race that stops the nation, but thanks to the virus, it's stopped the nation beforehand. It's the pandemic that stopped the nation. They're going to be crowd-free today for the Melbourne Cup, so no crowd turning up to watch the Flemington. Oh.

That means we can't have any fun shots on the news tonight of drunken people with their dresses hiked up over their waist peeing in the garden with their leave. That's true, that's normally what happens. You see guys rolling out of port-a-loos. That's the best part about the Melbourne Cup. It makes you feel better about your life. Many people will still be dressing up at home

in their small little bubble parties that they're allowed in Melbourne. But the Australian Betting Agency, how's this? Reckons at peak time today, 100,000 bets a minute is what they take on the Melbourne Cup and take as many as 20 million bets on the day. So it's a huge day. It's impressive. I always find, much like the yachting

when it turns up every 12 years, everyone becomes a horse expert on Melbourne Cup Day and they're like, oh, you've got to go number 12. She's a randy dog. Make sure you log there. That's going to win. That's going to win. And now all these people give tips, and I always take on board the advice.

But then after the race, none of them come through, and no one is held accountable. It's like you literally just said this is going to come through. I put my name to it. Yeah, now tomorrow in the USA, the presidential election, Trump taking on Biden. And it's quite interesting. I was looking at some of the merchandise that's up for sale

because a lot of merch all over the news. You see people wearing hats, T-shirts, outside the houses, right? Trump's done well with his merch. I mean, whatever you believe about his politics aside, the merch game. He's got red hats, camo hats, face masks. He's even got contraception.

Oh, there's so much. Dondoms. I was having a look before. So the Make America Great Again hats, obviously you see they've been flying off the shelves for the last four years. So whether you like Trump or don't like Trump, it seems like the merchandise pro or against Trump

always focuses around Trump. So he's the most popular one. Because you'd either buy it for someone who loved him or you'd buy it for someone who hated him. Yeah. So those hats are made in Vietnam and China for pretty much 88 US cents. There's a store in Washington, D.C.

that sells them for $12.99, the Magna hats. And they reckon they've sold 100,000 of them in that particular store over the past four years. So that particular store alone has made over a million dollars just on hats. They're noisy hats too. Aren't they loud? I notice he's increased the aerial font on it.

He has. Yeah, you're right. The Make America Great Again font. It pretty much takes up the whole front of the cap now. So there's also the Donald Talking Pen you can get in the store, which has a whole lot of sayings like, I'm really rich. There's the Stretch the Truth doll that stretches out as well. There's a fake news stamp

you can get if you want to stamp something as fake news. And I like this one if you're worried about your breath you can get impeachments. Beautiful, pal.

Annie Pryor for summer remember there was a period there she just kept buying me Trump merchandise because I was joking like I'm New Zealand's only pro-Trump broadcaster

for a while. There is a good look. And she got me this little bar of soap because he's got tiny, tiny hands. And it's Trump's tiny little hand soap, which sometimes we use. It's adorable. So if the merchandise is anything to go by,

Trump might take this out tomorrow. But as you say before, if you love him or you hate him, you're probably buying merchandise. Biden's just got his own range of Viagra pills. And bee pollen products. That was a lovely scrolling through your feed, Ben. Well done.

You should be proud. We apologise in advance. It's Jolly and Ben on the hits. We've got some swag up for you next, though. We're doing it right now. Oh, is it? Cheers. Okay.

What did you want to do it next? What do you do next? As in now, I mean next. Oh, is it? Cheers. Okay. What did you want to do it next? What do you do next? As in now, I mean next. Technically, you're right. Spy. The What's Up Spy.co.nz. This is next. This is next.

It's up now. Celebrity bulletin where we bitch and moan and shove our opinion down your throat, which at the end of the day matters to absolutely no one. But Juliet, what have we got in Spy? Thanks very much. So the long court case between Johnny Depp and the Sun News tabloid about label, it was a whole court case, defamation against him that he tried to claim, labelling his wife Amber Heard as a wife beater. He has officially lost that case.

I mean, no one even wants to be known as a wife beater, do you? Yeah, yeah. So the court saw that, you know, there was enough evidence on Amber Heard's side and the Sun newspaper's side. So he has officially, what do you call it? Lost the case. So does he now owe the Sun money? Or does he have to pay their legal costs?

Like, how does that work? I think it must be something like that. I actually don't know a lot about law. I'm not very good at law situations. So there are going to be a little appeal in this case. But there's another case that potentially will happen in the USA as well. I think it must be something like that. I actually don't know a lot about law. I'm not very good at law situations. So there are going to be a little appeal in this case. But there's another case that potentially will happen in the USA as well, a similar one with the Washington Post as well.

So it probably won't be the last you hear about it because he's appealing and then there'll be more and more and more things that... Really messy. I mean, these court cases are all messy and, you know, it was a really toxic relationship no matter what you believe from what went on there. It was sad. Can I just pull back, Juliet?

She's like, I don't know a lot about law. No. Which is a good thing, because if you did, you've definitely chosen the wrong job. I know. Pushing buttons on a low radio show. You should be at a law firm. Yeah, really. PricewaterhouseCoopers or something like that.

But anyway. I should. That might be my second career. Some of the things to come out of the court case is his spending, Johnny Depp's spending. So they reckon just before he went into rehab, he was spending $30,000 a month on wine. That's what we were talking about yesterday. He poured a glass of wine in one of the hidden videos that Amber Heard filmed of him.

It was the whole bottle into one of those giant novelty party glasses, and that was like a nine in the morning one. That was just getting the day kicked off. He's got five penthouses. He also owns a $22 million yacht, a village, a small village in France as well as an island in the Bahamas.

So he's got quite a lot of wealth even though apparently he's broke because of all of his expensive successes. Wow, surely those assets he can just sell them on. Surely he'll be fine. I mean, he might not get any more movie roles, but... Has this burnt his career?

Yeah. Do you think it has? Oh, yeah. What do you think of him now? Are you a bit like, oh, no? Yeah. Well, I did like him because I thought he was a really, really good actor. He's been in some amazing movies.

He's been in some really good movies, played some really good characters, but, you know, when this happens, you're like, hmm. Is he sober now? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Listen, I hope it all works out for both of them. This is not nice. When it plays out on such a public forum.

Yeah, you don't need that, eh? No, you don't need three schmucks talking about it on the radio in New Zealand, but that's what we're doing. Exactly. And in more lighter news, Beyonce has revealed a very surprising hobby that she has, and that's beekeeping. So she has two hives, 80,000 bees.

I'm not sure how she counts that, but that's what she said. And she makes hundreds of jars of honey a year. The queen bee. Exactly. I feel like she should start up for the pun. Like, you know? What do I want to know?

Because everyone's like, she's the queen bee. It's bees, yeah. You know, and it's like, yeah. But why wouldn't you? And now I have bees. It's like, yeah. Oh, this is the first pessimistic thing I think I've ever heard Ben

no I love it going in on Beyonce's beekeeping hobby out of all the things to go in on I just really wish I could do it I love a good pun

you know that and she's beat me to it what I want to know with celebrities did she come up with Queen Bee did she come up with her own nickname

no oh really or did the fans do it well you think of Beliebers that's who I used to be Did she come up with Queen Bee? Did she come up with her own nickname? No. Oh, really? I don't think so. Or did the fans do it? Well, you think of Beliebers. That's who I used to be. I used to be a hardcore Belieber. And then you've got the Swifties.

I think it's just a self-labeled thing from fans, isn't it? Oh, well, listen, I would like to spark a nickname for the boys. The Boysenberries. The Boysenberries. The Ben Boysenberries. If you want to join the Boysenberries, I'm running a website. Your annual membership fees are due. Yeah, more expensive some seasons, though.

It's seasonal, like the actual fruit. Prices go up. Great antioxidants, though. It's a very healthy club to be part of. And that's five. You can go to thehits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. It's the weekend. I can't feel my face. It is the Hits. Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. It's the weekend. I can't feel my face. It is the hits of Jono and Ben here. An amazing Halloween outfit, actually. He went as the nutty professor from the Eddie Murphy movie and looked incredible over the weekend. But, of course, this morning, Jono, you got me with a great prank.

If you missed it, it's going to be up on our social channels this afternoon. The video, you can catch it on the podcast where I thought, long story short, that I was ending up talking to the President of the United States. And no one's giving me any f***ing answers. Well, no, I'm just trying to explain that we're from Radio Station New Zealand. Are you on a call with the Prime Minister? I don't know. I don't know.

Very elaborate backstory. It's a long runway into that moment. But, yeah, if you want to see it, we'll get the video out on social later on today Now tomorrow on the show, we're joined by the Brickman There's a big announcement to do with Lego That's very exciting, as well as that Jack Tame live from the US, we'll see you then