Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - November 05 - Disappointing Dates, Shower Curtains, An American Election Overview

Episode Date: November 4, 2020

The US election is a TIGHT RACE! We caught up again with Jack Tame to get the latest on the vibe, especially because as we all went to sleep last night it seemed that Trump was going to win, but as we were waking up, Biden was more in the lead! WOWEE! Ben also shared a story about how he had a very lame date night with his wife Amanda, but it was self-inflicted *good one Ben...* and we had some hilarious calls about dates gone wrong. Finally, Jono was after a bit of praise because he reckons he's an absolute hero. A godsend. The greatest thing to grace this earth. And we gave it to him (sort of) because of his "heroic" story! Enjoy the poddy, it's a goodie!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Back at it again for the podcast. Here we go.

This is an exciting podcast. Sorry I just caught up watching the US election. It's hard to look away. It's so exciting. They do well. I find they do well capturing your attention with all their snazzy graphics they've got on screen. And everything's so dramatic. It's like, oh, they're up.

Oh, they're down. Breaking news. Yeah. Yeah, no, so it's good. As we currently speak, Biden ahead with the electoral college votes, as we're well educated on now. I feel like I know a bit more about it over the last couple of days thanks to Jack Tame we've been catching up with. 237 to Biden, 213 to Trump.

So that's a bloody, it's a close race bet. Overnight I've become an expert on US elections. Yeah. It's funny how everyone around the office today is all like that. Oh yeah, but you've got to take into account this and you're like, oh yeah, no, no. Oh no, let's not forget Iowa and Wisconsin. Wisconsin's coming through. It's always a swing state, you know.

It's one of the battleground states. I've never said the word Wisconsin so much in my life over the last 24 hours. I don't think I've ever mentioned Wisconsin.

Oh, Burger Wisconsin in New Zealand. It's great. Yeah, I haven't mentioned Wisconsin without the word burger in front of it. Yeah. But anyway, very exciting.

It's exciting. Tell you what, America does it well, don't they? They do everything well. Everything's big scale. And what's big country? Our election was done and dusted in six hours.

Yeah. It was like, oh, they were polling well, and that's exactly what happened. Whereas here, it was like, oh, they're polling well, but oh, actually, no, it could go either way. We could have a bit more drama in our election, couldn't we? Yeah. Like, oh, the South Island's saying no, and oh, okay, so the South Island's going to be governed by National, the North Island's going to be governed by Labour. Mix it up a bit, you know?

Yeah, no, but we don't. No, you're right. Check a sex scandal in there. Something. Oh, yeah, we'll mix it up a little bit, but yeah. Anyway, looks as though if Biden does win, it's not going to be an easy victory. I think Team Trump look like they're filing legal proceedings.

I've said it before, I said it again, the United States are a divided states. Well, you said that during the program today. And I was like, that is a great line. It should be a headline. And then he held up the New Zealand Herald paper. And it was called. Divided States of America.

Exactly. They had done it. Yeah, they did. I just liked it. And you had stolen their headline. And it's a good headline. Don't get me wrong. It's a great headline.

Yeah. When you said it, I was like, wow. Ben. I know. But I was looking at the New Zealand Herald. So thank you, New Zealand Herald. Isn't that amazing, though? That it is pretty. It's a 50-50 split, you was like, wow. But I was looking at the New Zealand Herald, so thank you New Zealand Herald for that. Isn't that amazing though? That it is pretty, it's a 50-50 split, you could say. Yeah.

You know? I feel like people that just vote one way, that's the way they vote, no matter who the person in charge is. No matter if they like Biden or they like Trump, they're just like, no, I'm a Democrat and that's what I vote. Yeah, hey, well we'll keep you up to date. When will we keep you up? No, we won't.

No, we won't. What do I think this is? Do I think this is like a live rolling coverage of the US election? Yeah we'll keep you up to date guys As the podcast continues on We won't We won't keep you up to date But we do have Jack Tame actually

TVNZ reporter Live Oh he's not live It's pre-recorded We played this earlier But he's in Washington He was live when we talked to him He was

He was alive He wasn't dead. Yeah. Explaining where everything's at now and how it's going to play out. Because you could have a president, you could have a winner in the next 24 hours. Whether that winner will be accepted or not is a whole other question. That's right. So watch this space.

We'll keep you up to date with none of it because here's the podcast. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We were talking about the big news of the day, the election, the US election, and the news that it's maybe overshadowed. And you say, Jono, I want to give the opportunity for you to talk

about your heroic act. Have we got the music producer, Juliet? Oh, listen, this is... A hero doesn't want to brag about his heroic... Which one of my heroic acts yesterday, Ben? There's so many. So A hero doesn't want to brag about his heroic... Which one of my heroic acts yesterday, Ben? There's so many. So the hero doesn't want to brag about, but... Pull the curtain back.

You wrote it in the run sheet for today. And I said, you leave me... Just before, you're like, you lead this one, and you bring this story in, because it's probably better if it comes from you. But anyway, so I will. I'll bring it in, so you don't look... So you look modest.

Oh, well, yeah. That's the plan. Yeah, I know. If you want me to be likeable... Yeah, so I'll bring it in. Yeah you don't look, so you look modest. Oh, well, yeah. That's the plan. Yeah, I know. If you want me to be likeable. Yeah, so I'll bring it in. That's fine. Yeah, okay, okay. So take two, take two.

So yesterday, Patricia and Juliet, we were walking back, John and I from, you know, we park our cars just around the corner. And so we're walking back

and a guy. Oh, don't talk about this, mate, honestly. I prefer this stuff off here. Yeah, off here. Coming up on the show. No, no, keep talking about it. Keep talking about it.

Okay, okay. Writes himself. Keep talking about it. This is how you're hoping. No, no, keep talking about it. Writes himself. Keep talking about it. No, this is not how I hoped it would have played out. It was actually in all seriousness it was a lovely thing you did. So a guy was looking down into a drain on the side of the road. He was looking down through the

cracks in the drain and we're like, you chat to everyone. What's going on? What's going on here, mate? And then he said, oh, my keys are down there. But he was a bigger chap, wasn't he? So he couldn't fit down the drain. He could pull the grate off, but he couldn't fit through the hole. It was quite a tight hole.

Yeah, yeah. Isn't it? Full credit to the Ninja Turtles. Yeah. For years they've been coming in and out of sewers. They have, actually. You're right. Haven't they?

We don't really, they don't pay homage to that. Don't think about the logistics. They've got big shells and nunchucks and all sorts of stuff. That'd be a tight squeeze for a Ninja Turtle. So anyway, I was like, mate, someone film this for social media.

You're a Ben. Get your phone out. Live stream it. Here we go. Hashtag hero. Just ran into this hero on the street. Kiwi hero. Can you play Mariah Carey on the social media video? So Jono, he's filming me, and I climb into the sewer.

Into? Into the sewer. It was into the sewer bed. You put your legs down. You did. You did. And my whole body was in there. All you could see, road level, was my head poking out of the sewer.

And then it was at this point I was like, ew, ew, this is disgusting. It's just, why did I do this? I could see on your face, you're like, I regret this instantly now. Yeah, and I was like, stop filming it, stop filming it. And then you have to, like, the keys were obviously on the ground somewhere, so I had to, like, feel it. Like, I couldn't quite duck, so I had to just slide my hand out and just feel around

the sewer with my hand so I picked up like a dead rat so I think I also picked up hepatitis and eventually you got the keys

got the keys and then a hero comes along with the strength to carry us so well done he was happy I hugged that guy, but then he was kind of like,

stop hugging me, you've just been in the sewer. Yeah, I was a little bit all after him, like, ugh. I made you hug me too. Yeah. And now you smell like crap. Not only talk it.

A great heroic act that I happily brought up on the radio. Yeah, thank you, Ben. It makes me look great. Well done. It was a lovely thing you did, so. That's the end. If you could just go. It was a lovely thing you did. That's the end. If you could just go, you're a lovely guy.

Okay. More from this lovely guy coming up after the ads. You're a lovely guy. More from this lovely guy coming up after the ads. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jono and Mano Mahit. We want to know your date disasters because on Friday night,

I had a date night with my wife Amanda. We hadn't been out for a while. Oh, jeez, I tell you what, going on a date with you, it would be scheduled up to the eyeballs, down to the minute. This is a bit of an impromptu one, but we ended up with a new babysitter.

You know, probably much like yourself, Juliet, young millennial, you know, impressionable, you know, I was like, I want to, you know, still look like I'm cool and with it, you know? I'm a cool dad. You know, we're going out, we'll be out. You can'm cool and with it. I'm a cool dad. We're going out. We'll be out.

You can vape in here. You can do whatever you want. Put your avocados in the bowl over there. Help yourself. TikTok room. We've got a designated TikTok room just for you to do your TikToks. We're going out with the cool parents. We're going out.

And so we went out. The babysitter arrived about 6 o'clock. We sort of went out not long after that. And as we were walking, we sort of walked up the road. We thought, we'll go in to have a drink at one of the local places around there. Went in, had a drink, just my wife and I. And I went to the bathroom. And on the way to the bathroom, there was some people that I knew

and they were kind of celebrating. The lads, they were celebrating. You don't want to bump into the lads on date night, Ben. Oh, they were celebrating. One of them just had a new baby, which is quite exciting. The other one had a new like a job it was like

they were doing shots lads lads lads lads doing a couple of shots they were like yeah mate because you're celebrating a new baby you're like oh okay

you know a couple of shots and I'm a lightweight I'm not a you know like yeah literally he is a lightweight he's 49 kgs

so and I was make it quick guys I'm going to the bathroom I'm on date night I'm on date night I'm a cool dad, I've got the millennial back there doing some dancing in the house,

it's all good, it's all good. Couple of quick shots, go to the bathroom, then came back, sat at the table and Amanda's like, you're quite tipsy,

you're a little bit tipsy. I was like, yeah, the lads, the lads and the shots. Got all the lads. It's all good, it's all good,

we're all good but then you know, tequila and stuff, it takes a while and then suddenly it sort of hits you. And I was like, we went to leave about seven o'clock to go to the restaurant. I'm like, um, can we just go home? I'm feeling

a little like I just want to go home. Or lie in a gutter. Yeah. And so we arrived back home not long after seven and you can tell the babysitter's like, okay, you're home now. Here's the cool dad. What's cool dad doing now? He's come on in. He's like, you pretty much haven't even been an hour. And you've gone out, you're

back in. You're like, yeah, all good. Thanks very much. We're done. And I'm like, date night. That was bad. That was date night? That was date night. You didn't even go to dinner? No. I was like, oh, just the lads. I don't play in that field normally. It's not me. So I shouldn't have. And

I regretted it. So it was a date disaster. Friend of ours, she went on a Tinder date with a guy and it was a day date, you know. And so they met up about 11. They were going to go for lunch somewhere and he's like, hey, we'll just swing in here quickly. And she's like, oh, okay, we're pulling up to a church. It's an odd location for a date.

Yeah, very odd. Unless you're Christian, then maybe it's an odd location for a date. Yeah, very odd. Unless you're a Christian, then maybe it's a perfect location for a date. So maybe it's not that odd. It's still quite odd even if you're a Christian, isn't it? I'll tell you, for a date at the church. Yeah, but anyway, so they ended up going there and it was his grandfather's funeral.

No. First date. Why? And she didn't know until turning up the church. Didn't know. He's like, I've just got to pop in here quickly. The whole service. Couple of asparagus rolls at the wake. And then they went off on

their reel where they were meant to go. But I mean, what guy has such a scheduling conflict that he's mixing up a date with a funeral? Yeah. And not telling you in front of, surely they could have rescheduled. Yeah. Or done the date after the funeral. His commitment to the date was quite impressive. It was, yeah.

I've got one on the hook here. I cannot lose it, even for my dear granddad. So we'll go to the phones, eh? Lucy, you're on from Christchurch. How are you? Yes, I went on a date with this guy. We went to a concert. Thought it was going to be pretty chill.

And then his mate turned up, who was absolutely hammered, and ended up spilling a whole tray of drinks down my front. And, like, I dressed up nice for this concert. So, like, a real good dress was ruined by his friend. Oh, Ben, now, is there anything you want to say to Lucy? I'm sorry, Lucy. I'm sorry that I turned up there, mate. No, no.

He had had some tequila shots. He was meant to be on a date. He ended up at a concert. It was a heck of a night, though, wasn't it, Lucy? No. Oh, that's really disappointing when that though, wasn't it at least? No. Oh, that's really disappointing when that happens,

isn't it? It is. I mean, you're sticky for the rest of the night and you just want to get changed, but yeah.

There's nothing worse than being sticky, you know? As a human, you're like, oh, can't get up. And you're doing,

yeah, your arms are sticking out and you're looking like a square, you know, trying to dry off. Did you stay, did you sit out the concert?

I did. I felt bad, so I stayed for a square, you know, trying to dry off. Did you stay? Did you sit out the concert? I did. I felt bad, so I stayed for the concert. But, yeah, I don't want to see his friend too much. No, fair enough. We appreciate it. You hold the line. We're going to send you out some hell pizza, all right? Thank you.

No homage was paid to your wonderful pun there, too. Stick around. That was amazing. Let's go to Helen, who's in Auckland. Welcome, Helen. Your date night disaster, what happened? Oh, it was a terrible date. The person I was meeting was late, which is never a good look. Turned up in track pants and a dirty t-shirt.

Sounds like Jono's attire. Hold on, when do we go on a date? Always running late, always filthy dressed up.ire. Hold on. When do we go on a date? Always running late. Always filthy dressed. Yep, yep. Continue on. Yeah, some careful questioning from me

because it varies, Ozzy, at this point to discover that he was married to me with his wife. But, you know, could we have sex? Um, no.

Oh, Jesus. But he's definitely part of it. Wow. So did he front foot it? No. So how a part, but he was definitely a part. Wow. So did he front foot it? No. So how did you discover that he was married? Just, you know, questions. Oh, questions.

Like, are you married? Was that the question? That's a great question. He answered too honestly. Oh, we're going to send you out some hell pizza as well. We really appreciate that call, all right? Thanks so much. He must have been like, oh, I'm just going to send you out some hell pizza as well. We really appreciate that call, all right? Thanks so much. He must have been like, oh, I'm just going to pop out and get some milk.

I'll go get some milk. You're in your garden now. You're under clothes. It'll be fine. And we'll go to Anonymous. Welcome. Anonymous birth name, is it? No.

No. No. What's your dating story, Anonymous? Oh, hi. So we had a date night planned at my boyfriend's house. So I thought he was going to cook dinner. We're going to have a few wines. So I decided to spice things up a bit and put on a trench coat

and only a trench coat. Trench coats have really been stereotyped, huh? Either perverts or ladies wanting to be seductive. Yeah. So then I turned up. He opened the door. I went inside. And when I revealed that I was just wearing a coat,

he looked quite shocked and then said he'd booked a table at a restaurant. He wasn't actually staying in. You didn't be close. And the taxi was on its way, so off we went to the restaurant. And I had to wear my trench coat the whole time. It wasn't a wintry night, so everyone must have thought,

why is this girl wearing a trench coat? She's a spy? If that's fired, you could say that. And then the restaurant waiter was probably like, would you like me to take your coat? No, no, no. No, no, no. Oh, no, please, no. Oh, that's so good.

We're going to send you out some Hell Pizza as well. We really appreciate you calling on us. Oh, thank you. Don't forget, Hell Pizza's got the new silence of the lambs. You can check it out right now. Heaps of vegetarian and gluten-free options available. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits.

The whole world talking about the US election. It seemed like when we went to bed last night, Donald Trump was slightly ahead, but now this morning it seems like Joe Biden's ahead. It's very confusing to us. So we're going to go to TVNZ political reporter Jack Tame. He's over there live in Washington, DC. Jack Tame, what the heck's going on?

Who knows, guys? When are you coming home? Yeah, I'm not coming home for another week. Who knows if we'll have a president or a definitive result by then, but yeah, fingers crossed tonight. So where is everything at? For those that weren't up last night watching it,

where's it ended up, Jack? I mean, the thing is that it's following one of the likeliest scenarios heading into last night. And that is that because there is a whole number of votes, like millions and millions of votes, tens of millions of votes that were submitted by mail before polling day, the actual results as they come in can be a little bit misleading. So for example, the mail-in ballots probably favour Joe Biden about three to one, but that voting on the day might have skewed more towards the President. So if they count all of the on-the-day votes, then you're like, okay, Donald Trump's ahead, Donald Trump's ahead, but then the more they count the mail-in ballots, you go, oh, actually Joe Biden

might be ahead. So at the moment, we're basically waiting on the votes to be counted in a few critical states and to get definitive calls in like Arizona, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. And then we should get a really good steer. But if I was to put a, I don't want to put a percentage on it, but you'd have to say that Joe Biden is in a slightly stronger position right now than Donald Trump from all of the numbers as they stand. Which is interesting because it has swung slightly towards Biden

overnight, basically, New Zealand time. It felt like when I went to bed last night, Trump was slightly ahead, but it's crazy in a huge country, it's coming down to just a couple of states. Yeah, yeah, I mean, this is, you know, usually one third of the states go to the Republicans, a third of the states go to the Democrats, and the remainder kind of decide the election.

But it is insanely tight. And what you're referencing is, yeah, exactly what I'm trying to explain. Like, basically, because so many votes were submitted early and were mailed in, and those votes, generally speaking, are counted later than the on-the-day ballots. You just get a bit of a skewed picture as to the overall state of the race. And clearly, the president's pretty upset with things. He's been tweeting like crazy this morning, U.S. time, saying like, oh, why is it every time they count the mail-in ballots, it's devastating for me and that sort of thing. So he's still threatening legal action.

We're expecting to hear a little bit more from both of the campaigns throughout the day. But clearly Donald Trump, if he indeed goes down, will not do so without a fight. That's the thing, because last night he was talking about the Supreme Court and all the judges, well most of the judges

on the Supreme Court are Republican. Well there's a conservative majority on the Supreme Court, six to three, but that's not to say that this will actually go to the Supreme Court in the first place. And it's not to say that if those judges were to make rulings, they would necessarily find in favor of Donald Trump. What is clear, though, is that Trump and Biden have completely different messages when it comes to the democratic process. So Biden's just saying,

everyone just hold it, like, just hang on a little bit, just take a breath, relax. We will just wait for all the votes to be counted and then we'll know where we stand. Whereas Trump's team are saying, and Donald Trump is saying,

we're being robbed, this is rigged, this is not democratic. Like, that is a real recipe for disaster. There is the potential for tens of millions of people, if indeed Biden does win, to feel that they have been robbed of the election. Isn't it fascinating, you know, you watch the media over here and you see stuff of Trump and you go, well, what's going to happen in this election? Is he going to lose?

But there's more people voting for Trump in this election than the last election. He's got, no matter what happens, he's got a lot of people that like him and want him there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, totally. You know, like they've got record turnout. They're on track for the highest turnout percentage of voters in America in 120 years, which is massive because usually they have pretty poor turnout. And I actually think you hit on a really important point.

You know, like Trump is easy for us to caricature because he's so unlike what we think of as being a president and his behavior is so unlike what we've come to expect of presidents. But actually to just write off all of his supporters as, you know, rednecks and uneducated kind of people doesn't really do a service to the full picture of people who are voting for Donald Trump. I think it's way more complex than that. You know, when we kind of reduce it to a two-dimensional thing where you're like,

oh, all Trump voters are stupid people or they're all racist or whatever, that probably isn't doing a very good job of trying to understand some of the dynamics that are at play. Well, Jack Tame was meant to be doing his wrap-up reports today. He was meant to come home, spend two weeks in a hotel, probably

at the jet park or somewhere. Now he's there, he's in the States until when? Yeah, well, I'm here for another week, so yeah, who knows what's going to happen in that time, but hopefully I just hope there's too much tension over the next few days. I hope that things are peaceful, but yeah, goodness me, I

have no idea how the next few days are going to unfold. Because I saw shops were being boarded up in Washington and for fear of riots. Well, Rodeo Drive, all the shops are boarded up. Has there been any unrest? There hasn't been so far. There was a skirmish last night in Washington, D.C.,

where a couple of people were stabbed. But there hasn't been, like, large-scale unrest at this stage. With that being said, the buildings are still boarded up. And, you know, clearly, I think the law enforcement authorities are pretty nervous about what could happen, regardless of the result. Like, it doesn't matter if Biden or Trump wins. There are going to be tens of

millions of people who are really upset about the result. So yeah, I think we're just going to have to wait and see. Jack Tame, we really do appreciate your time. I know how busy you are. So stay safe over there and thanks for talking to us this morning. Wait a minute, guys. Have a good one, eh? Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them.

That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The whole world are talking about the US election, which is coming down to the last few states. It's too close to cool, as they keep saying on the TV, right? Yeah, I just love watching all the CNN and Fox News reporters. They all look the same, don't they? All the Fox News guys are like white guys, grey hair slicked back and suits and a clone of each other.

And then you've got ladies whose faces don't move with blonde hair. That doesn't move as well. Nothing moves. They've got wonderful touchscreens technology. I don't know if you've been watching that. But then sometimes they trip themselves up because they go back to, oh, sorry, that was last election. Because they can flick between the results from this election to the previous one. It's like an iPad on steroids, isn't it?

Yeah, they're working it quite well because that guy on the screen right now looks like a potential boomer, but he's actually working a touchscreen and he's doing a wonderful job. And it's putting him on display. The world is watching his iPad usage now. I know. Everyone is zoned in on it. Max is just a millennial.

Max is saying he had a shocker last night. He had to reset the iPad. Turn it off, turn it back on again. On live television. But I mean, no one's working harder than that guy touching the iPad, that's for sure. But of course, the US election is dominating news, radio, newspapers everywhere all over the world right now.

It's overshadowing other important news. Yeah, and we don't want to look past the news stories that are going on in your life. So what's happened in your life? Newsworthy. Have you been engaged? Have you just got engaged? Kids' first day at school.

I don't know. Yesterday, Ben, I... Big news for you. Big news for you. No one covered it. It was completely ignored. I put something on Instagram TV all by myself. You did?

All by myself. First time you've ever uploaded anything by yourself to social media. And I wasn't sure if it had even gone onto the internet. I had to go this morning

and I said, I think I put something on the internet to Juliet. Yeah, he did and it was the most Jono caption ever. No emojis.

It was just like, oh yeah, it's up, sweet. I think it's her. Don't try and add emojis into the base. It literally took me 40 minutes to figure out how to do it

and I didn't want to call anyone because I knew I'd be laughed and mocked and you'd turn it into a radio bit the next day. So I sat there determined by myself. And apparently it's on the internet. So I don't know.

Well done. So you can find that somewhere on there. I don't know where you find it. I've had to put it up somewhere. I put it on Pornhub, I think. So what's the big news in your life? I'd love to hear from you this morning. Everyone that gets on the air will get a prize.

Come on, Kim. We're live. We're live on the location with Kim. What's happening in your part of the world, Kim? Oh, hi. Yeah, not much. Got some good big news. We celebrated our five-year wedding anniversary in lockdown.

Well, didn't get to celebrate it. And next weekend to celebrate that and my birthday, we're going away child-free. Oh, there you are. Child-free weekend with Kim and her five-year husband. That's big news. Do you know where you're going or is this a surprise? It's a surprise planned by the hubby

But yeah, I need to survive five years of marriage Oh, they've made it through five years of Has it been wonderful marriage or a couple of rocky patches, Kim? Not too bad We all have our ups and downs Yeah, we do 17 years in total That's fantastic

That's a great inning, 17 years. And marriage, marriage, it's a journey. We're all on this journey. If you're married. Yeah. Well, congratulations. Thank you for sharing that news. Hold the line.

We want to see you at the movies, all right? Thank you. Good on you. 17 years. They're the sort of numbers that should be on CNN. They should be talking about that this morning. The guy with the iPad could be zeroing in. 17 years. Oh, year four was a bit patchy. They got be talking about that this morning. The guy with the iPad could be zeroing in. 17 years.

Year four was a bit patchy. They got through it there. There they go. Yeah, but anyway, they're talking about the US election, so we're not talking about that right now. All right, we're going to cross now to Tania in Auckland, live in Auckland. We understand some big news in your life being overshadowed by the election. Yes, we found out we're having our first child and it's a baby girl.

We only found out last weekend. That's amazing. What is in this leading Fox News? Tania's baby girl. That's exciting. Yeah, we didn't know so my brother was the only one that knew and then we had a gender party.

Your brother was the only one who knew you were pregnant? No, he only knew the gender. Alright. How did brother was the only one who knew you were pregnant? No, he only knew the gender. Oh, right. How did he was the only one who knew? Because we gave him an envelope and then he worked up a surprise for us. Oh, right. I thought he was like the gynecologist or something. I'm not going to tell you anything.

Is that what a gynecologist does? No, no. Have I just made up a... I'll explain it to you later, Jono. Okay. So when's the baby due? 8th of March. That is awesome, Tanea.

Well, listen, everyone else might be ignoring your news, but not us here on The Hits. Congratulations, Tanea's baby. Baby girl, you go and have a lovely day, Tanea. Perfect, thank you. We want to send you across to the movies as well. Let's take one more bit of news. I can't. Sorry, someone's in my ear right now just saying something's happening in North

Canterbury. I understand. Ryan live on the scene. Welcome, Ryan. What's happening? Hey, guys. How are you? We're going good.

What's the big news in North Canterbury? Well, here in North Canterbury, I've got to go to my mother's during COVID. At the very start of COVID, before we walked with the dog, dropped the good? Planning weddings, building houses. What a year. Yeah, and in three weeks' time we're getting married. Oh, he's engaged, planning weddings, building houses. What a year. Yeah, mate, it still happens here. She's literally busier than the president. Why has this not been on the air? Probably building a White House as well too, I'm sure.

Oh, yeah. Well, congratulations on all those big life achievements. Cheers, guys. And that's Ryan from North Canterbury. We'll be sending you off to the movies too, Ryan. Enjoy that. Another thing to add on to your calendar. He won't be able to fit it in this year, but anyway, yeah.

Hey, Ryan, thank you for calling New Zealand's Breakfast, mate. Have a great day. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. It's just been reported that Joe Biden might have won the state of Wisconsin, which is one of the hotly contested states, but Trump wants a recount. So the poor people that had to count all those votes have to start back again.

Oh, mate. Five million and two, and we are done. I don't know how to recount. One, two. Do they do it by hand? I think, well, some states do. I saw some shots on the news last night. There were people in sort of almost like a factory.

They were all sitting there and counting them and stuff. And yeah. You would think that... I don't know if that's the same in every state. Technology has advanced a little bit further where you don't have to have poor people sweating it out in a warehouse for three days counting votes. Because there's a lot of room for human error, right? You imagine. Yeah.

That's interesting. That's interesting. Ben Boyce has just told me, I want to talk about my accounting friend. Oh, yeah. And nothing's more exciting than talking about accountancy. It doesn't sound that quite exciting. No. But yeah, so a friend of mine, she came back from the UK just at the start of the year and bought over her UK husband. And they moved to New Zealand before all the craziness in the world. And so he's an accountant, and there is a street in Auckland called Shorten Street, and it's in the middle of town. So it's, you know, it's one of the office streets and stuff like that.

But of course, there's the famous, the iconic show, Shorten Street, which has been on for many, many years, the medical drama on TV, right? But he didn't know that coming from the UK. So he's been saying for the last few weeks, he'd been going, you know, a few months, he'd be like, everyone's like, where are you working? He's like, on Shortland Street. He works as an accountant, but he just says on Shortland Street. Everyone's like, oh, wow, that's amazing. And he was like, well, this is obviously the place to be working. Accountants are superstars here. New Zealanders

love balancing sheets. And all of the people are like, yeah, the people are great. I'm a national hero. Yeah. And he said it wasn't until a couple of months after living in New Zealand he realised when watching the TV, he was like, oh, Shortland Street is a show. That's why everyone's getting quite excited. He's been cockily wandering down the street with a pep in his step. I'm an accountant.

The most drama at an accountancy firm would be, who's taken my calculator off my desk? Yeah. But he was like, yeah, Shortland Street's a very popular place to work. Is he still here balancing sheets? Yeah, he's still balancing books on Shortland Street, mate. He's still working on the street. But no one wants to talk to him now, do they?

You love Shortland Street, eh? You love it. Ben always gives me grief about it. He's like, you're the only person watching Shortland Street. Well, you're not. It's a popular show. Do you still watch it? I still watch it every night.

Really? Yeah, I love it. It's a popular show. Do you still watch it? I still watch it every night. Really? Yeah, I love it. I did not know that about you. We sometimes will talk, we'll interview the people from Shortland Street and they always think you're mocking them. I'm like, I'm a big fan of the show and they're like, oh.

How are you? Mate, no need for sarcasm. We're all here trying to earn a dollar. We're actors in New Zealand. There's not many gigs. And I'm like, no, no, genuinely. Interview's over. And then you get into some real intricate details about the show and they're like, oh, no, genuinely. Interview's over. And then you get into some real

intricate details about the show and they're like, oh, okay, no, he does watch. No, he does, and this is odd. Because they don't even watch it. The actors don't even watch Short Street. Well, I'm sure some of them do. No. Do you watch it? No. Well, I suppose it would be like going home and watching your work. Oh, do you listen to the podcast? No.

But you should if you don't listen to the show. I listen to the podcast. That's why i? That's right, iHeartRadio. iHeartRadio's number one podcast. Just got the insights this morning. Jono and Ben on iHeartRadio. There we go. And don't get that one recounted. Because I don't know if that's a mistake.

Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We've got a company card. Jono and Ben's company credit card. Now, I feel like we could just keep spending on this company card. I don't know what the limit is, but we just keep going. We just keep going. Boss Todd hasn't stopped us yet. No.

So he's like, keep doing it. It sounds good on air. He likes it when we give away stuff to people. It makes us look like better human beings. It does. Then we actually are. It's a big smoke screen. Terrible stuff.

Ellen DeGeneres has got nothing on Ben, boys. Wait till that scandal comes out. Thankfully, the election is covering the news at the moment. But once that news cycle dies down, my friend, it's going to be ugly for us. That's right. Now we're going to go to the phones. Glenys, how are you?

Good morning. Lovely to have you on. Glenys, I've never met a bad Glenys in my life. Oh no, we're only the good sort. We're only the good sort, so I was hoping you were going to be my first bad one, but you're not. Now Glenys, so what's in your shopping cart that you haven't been able to justify to buy, and we'll see if we can buy it on our company cart. Well if I can get it right this time, I think it's the Apple AirPod.

The Apple AirPods. Well you're still saying that with not much confidence. So what's the backstory behind this? Who is this for? Is this for you? Well, yeah, no, it's for my daughter. So during lockdown I endeavoured to be a very nice mum because she was whinging that she needed some AirPods.

And I've always just bought the wireless the wire normal $15 little things for her, and that's sufficed until now. And so I went online and I saw the Apple AirPods and I clicked them and bought them and they arrived. They were empty cases.

It was an empty case and a couple of little covers for the air. Oh, so you bought the covers. Oh, the covers for the AirPods are $28. Yeah, I got two. I got an empty case and a little, and some covers. I thought I was being nice

adding the covers. So you got covers for AirPods that you don't actually own. I see. And an empty case to hold the AirPods. And there's an empty case to hold it.

Oh my God. And this was $28. Wow. You know, Apple, I love the way they always change up their technology. It's like, oh, I had that adapter, but

we've changed it now. Oh, now these are wireless? What's going on? I think she thought I was playing a mean Jono prank on her. The look on her face was absolute horror. So you're all set up for AirPods. You can put them in a case. You can replace the covers.

We took them back and swapped them for just the normal. Have, we took them back and swapped them for just the normal. All right, well, we'll see if we can get some. Have you found some online there, John? I have. I've got some that are $280 here at PB Tech. That sounds like the ones. Is that the ones?

And you can't afford these at the moment, obviously. No, they're not in her budget anyway. They're quite expensive headphones. Well, I mean, your daughter needs to hear, and she needs to hear really loudly, directly into her ears. Hopefully it helps her listen to mum as well. That's right. Let's see if this goes through.

I'll put the credit card details in. It's gone through! Oh, wow, that's great. Glenys, your daughter's going to be ignoring you and listening to Benny in high volume directly pumped into her ears thanks to those ear pods, okay? Oh, thank you, guys. That's wonderful. All right.

We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Bye. No, what's up? Bye. Docco.nz. All right. Time for another episode of Spy.

She's fresh from playing Millennial Monopoly, where you just walk around the board paying rent and not being able to buy houses. Here's producer Juliette with Spy. Thanks very much. So Lady Gaga, her dad... Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga. And this will be relevant soon when I play this piece of audio, but her dad has voiced his support for Donald Trump literally one day after Trump basically slammed Lady Gaga on stage at his most recent rally. Now he's got Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. I could tell you plenty of stories. I could tell you stories about Lady Gaga. I know a lot of stories about Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. I've got loads of stories about Lady Gaga. One of them

that her dad is a supporter of Trump Yeah Maybe that's one of the stories Do you know I'm just reading about her father who is a restaurant owner

in New York City and Oh we heard about him during the coronavirus Yeah I'll just say that's still going but His restaurant

had to be shut down Yeah So small business owner probably a Trump supporter, you would imagine. Right. True. And Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga.

You'd think Lady Gaga, his rich daughter, could buy him a new restaurant. Kind of help him out, yeah. But maybe they don't have that sort of relationship. Would you give money to your, would your daughter give money to you? Oh, it's Lady Gaga. Yeah. Absolutely, yeah. True.

Who thinks she'd be the first person he'd go and talk to? Yeah, well. Lady Gaga He thinks she'd be the first person he'd go and talk to. Yeah, well. Lady Gaga, give me some money. Anyway, Meghan Markle, she has broken what they say a royal protocol again, even though she's, you know, left the royal family and all that jazz, by voting in the American election. I think, actually, no, it probably wasn't a photo of her voting. It was probably just another photo of her ticking a piece of paper in the news website that I looked at.

But she voted and it was probably for Biden because I remember a wee while ago, her and Harry had a video basically saying, you know, don't support Trump and all of that sort of thing. So she's voted, broken rule protocol. Everyone's, well, the news sites at least are up in arms about it. Oh, it's backlash. Because the Queen and the Royals don't vote, right? No, traditionally they don't. Well, I suppose they have to deal directly with whoever's in power at that time, right?

Yeah. Yeah, and afterwards as well. So I guess it would be a bit awkward if they're like, oh, I voted for the other one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think she's the first modern royal or something to vote in the last, I don't know if they've ever traditionally voted or not, but she's changing the game. I saw a lot of celebrities saying, I voted,

and some of them had stickers over their nipples and things. Did you see that? Yeah. I saw that on the Herald. Oh, funny you saw that. What was that? Was that when you were uploading the IGTV to Pornhub? Listen, I'm getting griefed,

because yesterday I uploaded my first video to Instagram. It took me 45 minutes, and I was thinking maybe it's gone to a less than savoury website But you're right, the celebrities were putting stickers all over themselves They were saying their bonus That's all I wanted to say You're looking at me like, have you got any more information or hot takes on this angle? And I'm, no, I've got nothing

I saw some nearly naked celebrities If that's what you want to know, that's what I'll tell you And segueing from naked celebrities back to the royals, certain members of the royal family have admitted to watching The Crown, which is obviously a big show at the moment. Princess Eugenia's watched it, and apparently the Queen thoroughly enjoys it as well. And they say it's been shot beautifully,

the music's beautiful, and it's a good representation. I don't actually watch The Crown, which I really need to, because I love the royals. Yeah, I'm surprised about that. It's been, the music's beautiful and it's a good representation. I don't actually watch The Crown, which I really need to because I love the royals. Yeah, I'm surprised about that. It's good. It's pretty good. I'm terrible at watching TV. It would be a surreal experience watching an almost documentary about yourself. Yeah, and you would probably, because, I mean, obviously it's based on all true story.

Yeah. True story. But then there's conversations that happen in rooms and they wouldn't have been recorded. So obviously it's an interpretation of what they think would happen. So the Queen's probably sitting there going, nah. I didn't say that. Nah, wouldn't have said that. That's not how that went.

But yeah, I guess. That's why she's complimenting them on their music and how well it was shot. She's like, the storyline was way off. Everything about it is fake except for the music and the shooting of the scenes. And that is Spy for More. You can go to the hits.co.nz. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now our boss Todd. We love him. We love him here. Our boss of the hitsits.co.nz. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits.

Now, our boss Todd, we love him. We love him here, our boss of the Hits. Lovable boss Todd. Love that little Aussie koala. But he did something that many people would have done, I'm sure, is had a bit of an email faux pas yesterday. Oh, that is ripe for a faux pas, though, the email system, isn't it? Oh, yeah.

So many things can go wrong. So, like texting, texting keep going on about it, we need the suck back feature on the text when you've sent something and you're like you should be able to suck it back out of their inbox somehow, I don't know how to do it. You sent actually a nice email with some

thanks and some praise to some of the team but then later on down the email you made a few sort of personal jokes. I made some personal jokes about Todd attending an establishment that could be deemed less than savoury. And he didn't go there for the record.

He didn't go there for the record. But you made this joke, and we all know that this is a joke on the thing, but Todd didn't read that part of the email and just saw the thanks part and forwarded it on to the management team. Upper management. We're talking big management here.

You know, board level management. He's like, look how happy everyone is. Everyone's like, Jono's, thanks from Jono. And then Todd came in here and he's like, saw your email. Thanks, mate. Really good. Hey, forwarded that on to the top level. I was like, what?

Did you see the bit about the thing? You go into the thing that you shouldn't have gone to and you're using company credit card? And he's like, huh? Because we all know that's clearly a joke, but he panics. You can see parts of his body literally shrivel up in front of our eyes.

Because the upper manager would be like, why is he, he's forwarded this on to us. Well, if anything, if it comes up in the expenses, they know it's been front footed. Is that a fringe benefit tax? Todd's like,

here you go, you've got it here. He's done the classic 2020 thing, read the first, it's like I would do how I approach news stories. I read the first two lines and pretend I know everything about it. I did one once of an email sent back. It was like a

bill, an invoice for something and I went to send it to my wife Amanda and like, oh, look how much this clown's charging us. I sent it back to her. Fortunately, it was for a clown for my kids' party. So it was fine. It wasn't but it would have been

ideal if it was because I felt terrible. Yeah I would have been in the email as well. Look how much this cloud is charging. He's like well I'm a good one. If you want the best you've got to pay top dollar. Clouds as well. Low in calories and low in laughs.

It's Jono and Ben on my hips. We've got a company card and we're spinning up until it declines. Jono and Ben's company credit card. I never had one of these before, but we've been given one. It's a lot of fun just putting some purchases on. We've been talking to you guys about stuff you put in your cart, your shopping cart for your online shopping that maybe you couldn't justify. Well, we thought that is a good reason to put that on our company cart

and we'll buy that for you. Jeez, the phones light up every time we mention this. We're going to go to Claire in Hamilton. Welcome to the show, Claire. Hi, how are you? I'm doing well, mate. I'm doing very well. How was your Thursday?

Oh, not too bad, thanks. I'm at work, so I'm kind of hiding in the corner so the boss doesn't see. Is it Guy Fawkes today? I think it is. You might be right. I just realised it's Guy Fawkes. If this was five years ago,

I'd have a rocket sticking out my nose outside doing a stunt. I hear on the hits, mate. Yeah, we don't put rockets anywhere. Anyway, we'll continue on with the show. Why are you hiding from your boss, Claire? You've got something sitting in your shopping cart. What is it, mate?

Well, it's actually some clothing for my husband's new business. He was made redundant just a couple of weeks ago, and he's always wanted to go out there and be a handyman. He's the last of the number eight wide blokes in New Zealand. Hey, hold on. I'm one of those. What do you do? I'm handy.

At what? At opening doors. Oh, yeah, you are. Yeah, that's about it, really. I don't like touching the handles, so you're quite good at that. No, Ben literally doesn't touch door handles, so I have to open doors for him.

It's the open door policy that we have in our relationship. It's not because he's like a diva or anything. He's got a germ thing. Yeah. So that's as handy as I get. So you'd like clothing? Yes. So what's the new business

that your husband started up? So it's a handyman service called Need a Hand Handyman and it's based in Hamilton. Oh, good on him. Yeah. And so you'd like some merch, some company merch?

Well, basically just some polo shirts and sweatshirts. So when he goes out on site to meet customers and stuff, he looks all branded and professional and a little cut. What a lovely thing of you to phone up for. And good on him for, you know, because I imagine that would have been very tough, but good on him for, you know, like bouncing back and starting up his own business. Yeah, I'm very proud of him.

It wasn't easy for him. So, yeah, hopefully it will go well. Okay, so we're looking at, what are we looking at here, Claire? What are you after on the website now that Producer Humphrey sent through? Excellent. It's some pole shirts and sweatshirts and it comes to just over $200. So $200.15. What was the name of his business again, just to plug it,

so when people want to get a handyman? It's Need a Hand Handyman. In Hamilton? In the Waikato region, yeah. Okay, cool. He'll do house and car maintenance. Anything that he needs doing around the house or car. Okay, this is awkward.

The card has just declined. No, don't. You're joking Is this a bad Look at my screen This is bad Do it again Enter the details again I'll push again

Enter the details again It's declined, Ben Oh, shit I'm sorry, Claire Okay You win some, you lose some We've got to sort Claire out What?

We've got to sort Claire out Claire, we need to We'll sort this out Don't to, we'll sort this out. Don't worry, we'll sort this out. We'll get this because this is a worthy cause. Oh, thank you.

That's much appreciated. Don't worry, we'll get it covered. Who's going to sort it out? We'll sort it out. I'll sort it out. I'll take responsibility. We'll sort it out.

We will pay, we will pay somehow. We will pay for your husband's merch, okay? Oh, you're awesome. Thank you so very much. Even if I have to sell my body on the streets. Oh, God.

It'll take a while. You'd get more than 200 bucks, mate. No, I don't know. I'd be struggling. I'd be working hard for years to get that 200. Oh, Claire, we will sort that out for you. And good luck for all the best for your husband's new business. Thank you very much. Love your work, Claire. The card, is it gone? It's gone. I guess it's gone.

That's the end of that. Now we're more in the red because we could not pay for that, could we? No, no. I guess it's gone. That's the end of that. Now we're more in the red because we couldn't not pay for that, could we? No, no. Well, we could have, but it would have been heartless. It would have been heartless

and it was well-deserved. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now, Shira Coke is back for the summer and we're on the hunt with Coca-Cola to find New Zealand's good buggers. Nominate someone in your community that you think is awesome and is a good bugger, and we could turn up and give them a little plaque

and $500 cash thanks to Coca-Cola. And Angela is on the phone. Angela, I understand you know someone who's a good bugger. He's the best bugger, yep. Who's this person? Who's this good bugger? Can we keep saying bugger? I don't know how many times we can say that.

You just say it a couple more times we'll get our quota up, okay, Ange? Yeah, cool. So who's this? Is this Peter we understand? His name's Peter. He's actually come with me today to come walk the dogs. It's his only day off. Is he right beside you? No. He's taking

the dogs for a walk. Oh, so we've got a moment now to talk about him. What is he? But in a good way. Yeah, totally. So what does he do? What does Peter do? Peter is a very gentle guy.

He's the head chef at quite a big elderly facility, restaurant. Yeah. And he's the main cook there. And he works works full time but he comes into work two hours every day before work and he goes around visiting the bananas and the grandad making sure they're okay he literally works

his butt to the ground. Wow, so two hours before work every day he's going around talking to the residents, that's amazing. Even when he finishes work he doesn't quickly rush out he'll prepare next That's amazing. Yeah, that's amazing. But even when he finishes work, he doesn't quickly rush out. He'll prepare next day's food. Wow. It's almost like that's all he has ever known.

Wow, Peter, what a guy. And right now, like, he is wearing these. He said to me, if I could ask for anything, and all I want is some decent work boots. Oh, listen. Because he's on the seats all the time and constantly keeps buying cheap shoes

and he's okay about it. Do you know what? We'll buy him some decent work boots. Oh, awesome. Because his chiropractor is like, seriously, Pete, the bottom of your spine is completely fused. Oh, my God.

But it's his passion to cook and his passion of people and old people. Pete sounds like a wonderful New Zealander, doing great things for the community and a very deserving person to put in for this Good Buggers Award. Awesome, yeah, definitely. And as John has said before, regardless of whether he gets the prize,

we'll pay for his work boots. That would be so awesome. Well, thank you so much for nominating him. He sounds amazing. He's so cool. Oh, well, lovely talking to you. Thanks so much for your time. Thank you, guys.

Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Big Trump supporter. We're just going to play songs from Trump supporters all morning. We're going to try and avoid the US election right now and scrolling through your feed because everyone's just talking about the US election and we thought we through your feed because everyone's just talking

about the US election and we thought we'd try and find some other news that's not based around the US election. Yeah, we thought we'd challenge ourselves. So both of us have had a task

of bringing a news story to scrolling through your feed this morning. Like homework, isn't it? Yeah, and jeez, I've gone to some dark places on the internet. It's quite hard to find stuff

that's not about the US election. I had to click on some things that I can't, I wish I never saw. Ben, I'm going to have to burn this computer after the internet. It's quite hard to find stuff that's not about the US election. I had to click on some things that I can't, I wish I never saw, Ben. I'm going to have to burn this computer after the programme. So what's your story all about? Okay, you've heard of the internet?

Yes, yes. I'm aware of it, yeah. A Norwegian company, I've gone to the Norwegian news here. This is how deep I've gone. Norwegian internet browser, Opera, is paying someone $9,000

to live stream them browsing the internet for two weeks. So basically just paying someone $9,000 to do what you do every day. Oh, what? Oh, really? So everything they research,

everything they click on. With no real agenda. No real agenda. They just want to... See where they get to. Where this person, would you trust yourself to live stream all your browsing?

You've got to be an open book. Oh God, they want you down because I really want to click on that. Can we go incognito? And then the person just went incognito for four days. Oh, they switched off for about four to five minutes,

and then they're back on. Okay, that was weird. They're looking a little sweaty. Oh, there we go. Why are they sweating? Oh, yeah, what an interesting job. How much did they get paid again? Nine grand.

Jeez. That's a lot of cash. Two weeks work. Well, no, it's not even work. It's just browsing the internet. Two weeks of stressing out about what people are seeing you look at on the internet. Well, that's very good. I went... What do you give that out of ten? Well, that's very good. I went...

What do you give that out of 10? I'll give that a 9. I enjoyed that. 9? Okay. I really enjoyed that. So you've heard of TikTok?

I've heard of TikTok. Much like I've heard of the internet. There's something going on TikTok right now. The TikTok, I think the kids are calling it.

To do with the chase. Now, the TV show The Chase, very popular quiz show. Kevin Boyce, my dad, oh, he loves the chase. He loves it. He does love the chase. I think quiz show. Kevin Boyce, my dad. Oh, he loves the Chase. He loves it. He does love the Chase.

I think anyone who's retired and has nothing to do with their day. Just loves the Chase. Loves the Chase. It's 5.30. It's the Chase. We need to put the Chase on. Oh, do we? Okay.

But it is. It's quite a very good quiz show. But so a lady went on the Chase in TikTok. Sorry. Sorry. A lady went on the chase in the UK. We'll edit that out. Start again. Thank you. Alright, pick it up from here.

Take two. So a lady went on the chase in the UK and she's now put it on TikTok that what happens behind the scenes of the chase. No studio audience. It's a lie. They're clapping. Oh! No one's there. It's very convincing. Yeah, because everyone's like oh, do you get to watch afterwards in the studio audience?

She's like, uh-uh, uh-uh, there's no studio audience on the chase. She also said that they have no idea, including the host, Bradley Walsh, who the chase is going to be before they come out, and they have to show up with their hair and makeup done, the contestants, and bring along five outfits. So there you go.

Well, it's hardly an expose on the chase. I didn't say it was an expose on the show. I didn't say it was an expose, Jason. I said I'd find some creepy news. Oh, listen, I know you were very generous to my story, but that's a four. I had the little subber that we needed out. We'll get it that way. Yeah, yeah.

Take that away, bro. Okay, okay. I'll pull you up to a five and a half. Thank you. So what? Is it basically like bring five outfits so you don't clash with the set? No, that's not scandalous. I didn't say it was scandalous. I just said it was... Bradley Walsh doesn't't clash with the set? No, that's not scandalous.

I didn't say it was scandalous. Bradley Walsh doesn't know who's coming out. Well, that's probably quite good. If anything, they're not lying. Shooter audience, is that wow you? I've heard of sound effects before. Five and up. It was interesting.

And that is Scully for your feed this morning. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Have you got a shower curtain at home? No, I don't. We used to have a shower curtain in our place, but not anymore. Yeah, no, well, I've been running a shower curtain for many years, many years. And I've been using my shower curtain as an outie, as an out of the...

Like my belly button, it's an outie. Yeah, gotcha. But then I only cracked the code just this morning. The thing's meant to be on the inside. Yeah, because it stays in the, yeah. For years. Really? I've had it just placed on, what have I been doing?

I was just, today it was like an epiphany in the shower. I once thought, maybe I'll just keep that in the shower. No, I've always just like left it in the shower. Have you ever once thought, maybe I'll just keep that in the shower? No, I've always just left it on the outside. I like it when it clings to my soaking wet body, you know, in the shower curtain, it sort of sticks to you and you can see it. It's always a bit unsettling. I remember you'd be having a shower,

it'd be quite hot and warm, and then suddenly it would suck on your leg. You'd be like, what is this cold thing? You can see your thighs through the shower curtain. They sometimes get a bit manky too. In the old flat we used to have a cross church, I was like, oh, this thing. through the shower curtain. They sometimes get a bit manky too. In the old flat we used to have a cross-shirt. I was like, oh, this thing. A flat shower curtain.

You got a shower curtain in your flat, Juju? No, we've just got one of those little door things. But I've got a question. Does your wife not see that you've had it on the outside and go, Jono, what are you doing? It goes on the inside. I mop it all up afterwards. Oh, okay.

We've had the debate before, haven't we, whether you get dry. You're a big dryer in the shower region, though, aren't you? Yeah, because I don't want to ironically put drips outside, and then when I get outside, I've got a massive shower curtain puddle. Another favourite thing, when you go into a glass shower and it steams up, I like pushing my cheeks sometimes up against the glass, just to see if they're even. The left one's drooping down a bit.

It's down about... No one needs this at 6.30. No one needs this mental image of that, do they? Like Trump, I'm down 4% on my left cheek. I find with the showers, you can take the handle off, and you can sort of wash yourself around. But I always feel sorry for some reason. I feel sorry for the shower handle handle because it goes to some places.

It hits the undercarriage as well. It's just sitting up there minding its business. He's like, whoa, whoa, what are we doing here? What are we doing? Oh, okay. You know? He's like, some of my mates are just screwed up here. They can't be taken off.

I know, but you're like, oh, here I go. Why did I have to be the one who travels around the body? If you were a shower, you'd want to be the one screwed into the wall, right? Absolutely. Or some of the fanciest ones have got the top rain ones. I'd like to even be up there. Just so I'm wetting the top of people's heads. There's some shower chair.

That's relatable. People have heard of showers, haven't they? Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Now, the US election, of of course is on at the moment. It is too close to call but it seems like no matter what happens the United States is not really that united. It's quite

divided isn't it across the board. It's a lovely headline but the divided states of America. I've kind of stolen it from a couple people. Oh the Herald have got their first. We're on the front page. It says the divided states of America. Can't take the credit for that. I tried to but I front page. It says the divided states of America. I can't take the credit for that. I tried to, but I couldn't. It sounded good.

I was like, it's almost too good for him. And it turns out it was. It was. Thank you to the NZ Herald for that one. Divided states of America. You would say it though. It was divided states. Yeah, someone did say it.

The Herald. They said it first. But I want to give you a challenge, Giorno, to call a cafe and to see how many bits of US jargon, election jargon, you can work into a phone conversation. Okay, so we're talking what? Trump, Biden, swing states.

Yeah, swing state, election, polling, Republican, Democrat, make America great again. All these things I've got written on pieces of paper. I'm going to hold them up and one by one you've got to try and work them into the conversation. If you work one in, we'll ring a bell.

Good luck. Robert Harris, Tracy speaking, sorry. Hi, Tracy. What's going on? What's the laughter about, mate? You know. A bit of office banter? Yeah's the laughter about, mate? You know. A bit of office banter?

Yeah, something like that. A bit of office. Listen, I've been biding my time, and I thought, well, it's time to call you. Yep. Okay. Now, I pulled out a trump card with the flatmates that I live with, and we've decided to come and visit Robert Harris in Greymouth. Right.

Good. Yeah. Would you suggest we come? Of course I would. Do you live in a house? Yes. What colour is it? Grey.

Mine's a white house. Right. Yeah, pure white, resin white. Yep. Okay, so I debated with the flatties. Put it to the vote. And you won. We elected you the winner,

so we'll be at Robert Harris this afternoon at 1 o'clock. I know. Okay, and it got a little heated there because they wanted to go. Have you heard of Bonsai Cafe? Yes. They wanted to go there, but I said, no, no, we put it to the vote. It's my democratic right. Cool.

Okay. So how many of you are there? There'll be four. Yep. All right. How long have you worked in the hospitality industry? How long? Yeah.

Too long. I was thinking of opening a pub. Yeah. And calling it the Republican. All right. Would you go there? Maybe. Yep.

Yep. Have you got an outdoor area? Of course we have. And have you got seating out the barrack? Yeah, we've got seating out there. You wouldn't want to sit out there today, though. Bit chilly. Yeah, a bit wet.

Now, your website states that you have a swing for the children. No. What is the state of that swing? We don't have one, so is it... Why do I keep banging on about the swing then? Yeah, I don't know. Basically. Well, a swing is my vice, I have to say. And also chocolates. Have you got chocolate

on the menu? Oh, in some shape or form, we would have. Yep. Now, who is your... If you were at a lawn bowls club, would you run for president? Look, it's Jono Obeid calling from the Hits radio station.

I was making Jono try and use as many terms about the US election as he could. I was holding up signs to weave into your conversation. So that's why I was so odd. That's all right. Was it natural and free-flowing? Yeah. You've really stuck with it for a very long time And I really appreciate it

I know Well didn't I? Have you literally got nothing else to do with your day? No You're very busy We've caught you at a busy time This is peak coffee making time Yep

Anyway who are you going to vote for in the election? Is what I'd ask you if you're in the US She can't vote Hey tell you what You've been a good sport We've wasted your time Could you hold the line? We would love to send you out a prize Righto then Alright is what I'd ask you if you're in the US. She can't vote. Hey, tell you what, you've been a good sport. We've wasted your time. Could you hold the line?

We would love to send you out a prize. Right, I did. All right, have a great day. It's a voucher for Robert Harris. We're making coffee great again. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Buy the WhatsApp. Buy.co.nz. Who's to say there's probably more important stuff we could be talking about right now? Not me. So now to producer Juliette with the latest on Cardi B's butt implants. What have we got, Juju? So with Cardi B's butt implants, no, I'm just kidding. David Beckham, so with the UK going back into lockdown for another month,

all the parents are probably going to have to start homeschooling their kids a little bit more. And David Beckham said that his nine-year-old daughter, Harper, is an absolute dream to homeschool. You know, gets up at eight, is very diligent, finishes at four, is just an A student, whereas his 15-year-old son, Cruz, is 45 minutes and is like, nah, screw this, I'm out of here. And it's a bit of a juggle for him, I think. Girls are more focused, though, I'm out of here. And it's a bit of a juggle for him, I think. Girls are more focused, though, I find. They say girls are more intelligent than boys. Right.

During those formative years, they seem like they're one or two years ahead of the boys. Girls will be sitting down playing and doing their thing, the guys are running around wrestling. Running, ramming their head into doors and things like that. Holmes, how did you find homeschooling kids? Because all it made me realise was how dense I was and how I don't know anything.

Some of this stuff's quite hard, eh? I'm like, how have I made it through life? You'd be secretly Googling it on the site going, oh, no, oh, yeah, long division, that's there, that's how it works. I know you should work it out for yourself. Yeah, you should go just by now. Are you my son, are you should work it out for yourself. It's better if you figure it out. Are you my son, are you?

Learn how to do that. Your teachers do a great job. That's all I can say. It either made us realise how dumb we are or how unimportant everything you learn in school is. How you can just navigate your way through life without knowing algebra. Yeah, trigonometry and things like that. And Latin.

Are they still teaching Latin? Oh, wow. I think so. I mean, there's obviously some jobs that some of these things would be helpful for. An engineer, for example. Yeah. But maybe it's just dumb radio announcers. I only went to radio school for six months.

Six months. And it probably shows. And that whole six months was just you trying to work out how to turn the microphone on and off. Okay. This one's on now. Okay. And now it's off. That was six months.

I just kept pushing the red one. What, is it on yet? No. It took a long time. The day I cracked that, they were like, well, you're ready, my friend. Get out there, mate. Say some stuff.

And Hollywood stars who said they would leave America if Trump got voted in would be Chrissy Teigen, Bruce Springsteen, Ricky Martin, Tommy Lee. So those were this year. Oh, they'll be sad to lose Ricky Martin. Not Ricky Martin. I'll take Ricky Martin. I'll take Ricky Martin.

Does Ricky Martin want to come here? Well, it's funny you say that because there actually has been a big surge in Googles from Americans on how to move to New Zealand. There's been a massive surge. Big surge. Big surge. I love your trumpet presentation. Big surge. But we always

do this. All the New Zealand media are like, oh, it's an increase in Google searches. I'm sure there's an increase in Google searches on how to move to Mozambique. True. You're right. All over the world. But we'll just focus on the New Zealand one. Let's just take it. Take the credit for it. And if Ricky Martin wants to sing She Bangs over here. Livin' livin' la loca.

Actually, livin' livin'. Livin', yeah. Livin' livin' la loca. And you come into livin' and look there. Upside, inside, out. Livin' livin' la loca. He needs to move here purely for that. Just for livin'.

And livin' livin'. He'll be like, this is going to work, Ricky, trust me. And that is Spy. For more, you can go to thehits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Hey, feeling good?

Want to end the show like we always like to do, with a bit of positivity. Why is today going to be a good day? Of course, the US election dominating many people's conversations around the country and around the world today, and it's still too close to call. Biden looks like he's slightly in a better position at the moment. He's got to, what, win three more states, you're saying, Juliet? He's been tracking this over to our political correspondent,

Millennial Juliet, in the panic room. Yeah, so if he wins Nevada, Arizona, and Michigan, which he's already slightly ahead in, then he will get 270, which means he'll be the next president. I don't think it's going to be that easy, though. I don't think Trump's going down without a fight. He already said he's going to go to court, and it sounds like they've already issued

something to stop some votes being counted in Michigan or something, so yeah. Nightmare for the next person who moves into the White House, getting all that fake tan off the white sheets. The bed sheets. That's going to be the first job. I'm just impressed, as I said earlier, that both the guys in their 70s, they were up at 2 o'clock in the morning. They were both a big late night.

You were saying they'd better get this election over earlier or else Biden might not be around to stick it out. Hopefully he is around for the next bit. Yes, he's old, but he's probably going to just be the face of it. There's going to be a whole team of people around him running the country. And he's been a politician his whole life. He seems like he's up for the job. That's right, Ben.

And that's our hard-hitting political take on it. We'll go to Nicole in Pocono. Welcome, Nicole. Was it going to be a good day for you today? I'm catching up with one of my girlfriends

for wines tonight because it's the last night that hubby's away on a course. Ooh, the naughty ladies. That's fantastic. Is she coming to yours? You're going to hers? You're meeting in a neutral venue.

Oh, she's coming to mine. Yeah, right. Sucking back on the Savvies tonight, Nicolas. Yes. Well, you enjoy that. You're going to have a great day. I look forward to your evening this evening. We'll send you the movies as well, Reading Cinemas as well.

Thank you very much for your call. And we've got Gareth. Oh, Gareth from Dog Almighty. Gareth. Gareth with the rat's tail. How are you, mate? Yeah, good, guys. How are you guys doing? How's it going rat's tail. How are you, mate? Yeah, good, guys. How are you guys doing?

How's it going to be a good day for you, buddy? Hey, mate, in the top ten. He's in the top ten of Dog Almighty. Coming for me. You're a legend, mate. Gareth, you have a great day, my friend. We'll look forward to catching you on Dog Almighty next week. Yeah, cheers, guys.

You too. Everyone listening, have a great day. We'll be back again tomorrow on Sex on New Zealand's Breakfast. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays

from Sex on the Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on the Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.