Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - November 06 - Paul Henry, Jono's Worst Of The Week, What Did You Find In Your Backyard?

Episode Date: November 5, 2020

Today we chatted to Michelle Dickinson who you may know as Nanogirl, she's a scientist but we talked to her about when she MET Joe Biden! He was in the country in 2016 and she was lucky enough to hang out with him & his family, and she dished all the goss! We also wanted to know the bizarre things that turned up in your backyard and my lord we got some weird stories. Paul Henry joined us to talk about his new wine (and how he felt when Ben's wife Amanda took a bottle to a BYO!) and his new book that's out. And do you remember Keith and Sally from a while ago? They're an adorable couple from Kerikeri, and Keith spends a lot of his time picking up rubbish around town, by choice! (Bless.) We talked to them a few months ago and now Keith has been nominated for our "Good Bugger" award. We always love talking to them! Enjoy the podcast & have a great weekend!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Here we go, we're back for another podcast. Paul Henry came in this morning with his bottle of wine

and we all ended up drinking it. Yeah, there was the moment, because Paul Henry had left, you went into the other studio, you were editing something. Producer Julie, I don't think you were in here as well. So I was just sitting at work, just still finishing off the wine that Paul Henry had given me. But there's other people looking through the window on their way to work. It's eight in the morning and they're looking through like-

Red wine. That guy's just drinking red wine by himself in the studio. Like out of context. It looks shocking. Upstairs, the New Zealand Herald newspaper are going to do an expose on Ben Boyce's rampant... Just sitting there drinking my wine. I'm like, oh no, because it was before Paul Henry left.

I have a slow drinker. And they're like, we can't hear you. It's a soundproof studio. Yeah, just drinking my wine. No, but we had a fun show though. Paul Henry, yes, he did come in. Gave us hot takes on the US election. He's always a good chap, Paul Henry, isn't he? He's a really fascinating individual., though. Paul Henry, yes, he did come in, gave his hot takes on the US election.

He's always a good chap, Paul Henry, isn't he? He's a really fascinating individual. I really like Paul Henry. And how he almost contracted walking pneumonia. I do that as sarcasm off Elton John. Walking pneumonia off Elton John. It was transferred almost through the Prime Minister. Yeah, that's right. That's a story that's on the podcast today, as well as that.

What turned up in your backyard? We had some amazing tales tales Do you like seals? Yeah Do you like horses? Yeah The horse one went in the dark Oh no I didn't Yeah

Better want to edit that out of the podcast Can we edit that out of the podcast? Keep it in Edit that out of the podcast No that's staying in It got grim Edit that out Max edit that out

And a gang member And a gang member with $60,000 Strapped to his chest Yeah Those are some great stories Yeah I've also enjoyed that in the podcast, except for the horse one, because that's going. That's not going.

Now, we want to know what ended up, what did you find in your backyard? Neighbours of ours, they've got a pool and they found a frog swimming around their pool. Really, like, vibrant green frog. Now, popular folklore would suggest if you kiss that frog.

Turn into a prince or something. Or you may get serious frog poisoning. But it's quite unusual because we're quite far away from any swamps or creeks or something like that. So the frog, I don't know how the...

But they grow out of tadpoles, right? So maybe there was some small tadpoles in the pool. In the pool. Logistics of that, I'm not sure. Maybe it was like that game Frogger where they go across the roads and then eventually ended uppoles in the pool. In the pool? Yeah. Logistics of that, I'm not sure. Maybe it was like that game Frogger where they crossed the roads and then eventually ended up in someone's backyard pool.

Yeah. And it's a lovely natural environment for a frog. It's a heavily chlorinated backyard suburban pool. They got it and they took it down. But they had to drive a couple of k's down to release it into a creek. Remember our friend Rob who we used to work with? He had a car end up in his backyard. That's right.

It was a drunk driver came off the road and went hurtling through his children's bedroom. Bedroom? Yeah. The child was okay, thankfully, and then ended up in his backyard. Wow. Three in the morning. Wow. The house was a write-off and the car.

So what ended up in your backyard? Now, this could be due to natural events, a hurricane blowing a car into your backyard. A tin man and a scarecrow and a lion in your backyard. That could happen. It could be a person who turned up in your backyard. You could have found some treasure in your backyard. I know Joyce, your wonderful mother-in-law, who you strangely lived with for two months while your wife was overseas,

won't delve into that. She found her wedding ring. She did. She'd thrown it outside and then she found it 20 years later. Did she throw it in anger? Yeah, it was there. I wasn't during an argument. Get out of the house.

This is going to. And then I was, oh, 20 years later, I'll find that ring again. Get some money for that at Cash Converters. So what did you find in your backyard? Do you remember every call that gets on the air? When's original Kiwi dip and a $50 supermarket gift card? Shall we go to Jodie in Clarks Beach? You can kick this off, J-Dog.

What did you find in your backyard? When I was living in St. Clair in Dunedin, we woke up one morning to a seal in the backyard. A seal? Was it singing Kiss from a Rose? No, more screaming like, oh, oh, oh. I like the singing seal better.

Seals, they can get quite aggressive, can't they? Yeah, we couldn't use the back of the house or the clothesline or the woodshed, and it was in the middle of winter in Dunedin for three weeks. And then animals, protection people finally managed to come and get rid of it down back to the beach. So the seal had pretty much made a home for three weeks. Yeah. And you were like a hostage in your own house. Pretty much.

That's where the seal lives. He's not paying rent, but we're too scared to ask him for money. We had to go and buy a gas heater and a bottle because we couldn't get to the woodshed. What would happen when you tried to get to the woodshed? It'd just come at you. Really? So you're obviously quite close to the beach, I'm guessing, right?

Yeah, yeah, so one street back from the beach. Being from Clark's Beach, you might suggest this. Yeah, quite close to the beach, I'm guessing, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So one street back from the beach. Being from Clark's Beach, you might suggest this. Yeah, yeah, quite close to the beach, yeah. That was a stupid question, Ben, sorry. Did you name the seal? Did he become like a pet? Yeah, there was definitely names, none that I'd repeat, though. Yeah, just a beautiful, get out of there thing.

Oh, that's amazing. We're going to flick you out some original Kiwi dip and a $50 supermarket gift card to buy some dippers for your dip, all right? Awesome. Thanks, guys. Thank you, Jodie. Thank you very much for listening. Appreciate it. We'll head to Chris in Te Awamutu. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast.

Chris, what ended up in your backyard? A horse. Wow. Just walked in? But it was still in the horse float. Was it from a car crash or something? No, we lived just down the road from a racetrack, and the guy was taking his horse to do the training in the morning,

and he, tying it behind his little truck, got to the racetrack, and, oh, got no horse float on the back, so he came trundling back and here's it upside down in our front yard, and the horse still kicking away inside it. And the horse was absolutely fine? I had a bit of a unfortunately a bit of a steel bar went through it. Oh, okay, okay. I regret

John asking that question now, but it was all good in the end, right? The horse was happy. They called the horse Ironside. Ironside, yeah. The horse lived happily with a steel bar inside of it for the rest of his life. That's right, it was a happy ending. It was actually quite, yeah, Ironside. Ironside. Oh, yeah. The horse lived happily with a steel bar inside of it for the rest of the song. That's right. It was a happy ending.

Happy ending. It was actually quite, yeah, it was funny. It was years ago now, but yeah. Thank you, Chris. Appreciate that. I have someone, Iron Man, the Iron Horse, that's still doing great things. Moose, welcome from Taranaki.

Wonderful to have you on. Always love it when you call through, Moose. What ended up in your backyard? A patched gang member. Okay. Obligatory, it wasn you call through, Moose. What ended up in your backyard? A patched gang member. Okay. A blanket tree. It wasn't my backyard, but here's how it went down. It was one o'clock in the morning.

It was a workmate of mine. He lived in Stratford. And I heard this horrible noise outside. And this dude had had a couple too many Vino's, probably Paul Henry's, and then smashed into the fence and went flying over the handlebars of his bike and landed in the vegetable garden, right? And he's sort of lying there groaning, and his chest was bruised and stuff because of the impact from the accident.

Then when the paramedics got there, they were using those special scissors to cut off his shirt and his jacket and stuff like that, which you probably would have been pretty upset about. And they found like 60 grand duct taped to his chest. He was doing a cash run in the middle of the night. Oh wow! $60,000! And like the horse, he was fine?

Yeah, he was totally sweet. He lost all his money. He lost a lot of money. Oh Moose, thank you very much. Shall we keep this going? 0800 The Hits. Hayley, welcome. You're on the air. It's good to have you on from Hamilton. What ended up in your backyard?

It wasn't actually my backyard, but my friend, every third day, she'd get a pair of women's underwear. And we figured out that it was her cat, Charlie, had a liking for going around the neighbours' clothes courses and getting all the underwear off. Do you know it's funny you mention this, it's funny you mention this Hayley, because Ben, a dog once, my dog Bo,

once got underwear off the neighbours' line once and now I have never been able to live it down. I had a chat to Charlie and I was like, look, I'm a size 12 and I'd like some lacy black ones. Some lacy black ones. Victoria's Secrets if possible. Get out there. Get out there. I love your work, Hayley. Cheers for listening. Of course, you get yourself

some original Kiwi dip and a $50 supermarket gift card, alright? Have a great weekend. From Golden Bay, let's go to Holly. You're on the air in your backyard. What happened? Well, I ended up with rather a lot of porridge in our backyard. How much? Are we talking a bowl?

Is this like the three little bears situation? No, we're talking about pallets of porridge, like a truckload of porridge. Did the truck crash into your backyard? Yeah, well, we were rural, so we're on a main highway, and yeah, a truck right at the end of our driveway was just flipped over. I think it just took a corner a bit wrong. Oh, jeez. And there's like a, I'm guessing

it's a written rule, but it's possibly also unwritten, that if a truck crashes because of insurance clauses, they can't pick up everything unless it's like mail packages and take it to where it's supposed to go. It's then just, you know. Give it to you. Yeah, cut a long story

short, we've got a lot, we had a lot of porridge. We're still eating porridge 12 years later. I have five children that I was feeding breakfast to, so I think it worked out quite well. My kids are now 48, still eating porridge. We literally had filing cabinets full, stacked full of porridge. Like, Mum, no more porridge. Overdosed on porridge.

Well, you know, you say, I think it's a written law that if something crashes into your house, you get to keep it. I think it's a pretty good law. I was hoping for wine and chocolate, but it didn't work out. Wine and chocolate track. Good on you. Original Kiwi Dip coming your way at a $50 supermarket gift card as well. Good on you, Holly.

We'll go to Jimmy in Auckland. Welcome, Jimmy. What's in your backyard? Hey, guys. I found go to Jimmy in Auckland. Welcome, Jimmy. What's in your backyard? Hey, guys. I found a bunker in my backyard. As in like a doomsday-style bunker?

It is a doomsday-style bunker. Commissionally laid concrete, concrete blocks, three massive rooms, about 50 square metres up. Ben would love it because of his sextant genetics.

Okay. Look, I told you there's I'll talk about that on the radio. You know, you combine this with the... It's not for rent, Ben. It's not for rent. You combine this with the knickers call we had at the top of this. This is not doing great things for my cancer right now, are you? Well, how did the dungeon

end up in... Not the dungeon, the bunker end up in your backyard, Jimmy? Honestly, I have heard some weird stories, but long story short, there was an owner back in 1996, a German guy bought the whole property. It's in Karaka, Auckland, of all places. And in 1999, he built this bunker

on the side of a hill. And I've had some builders come and have a look at it, and they've estimated between quarter of a million to $300,000 to replicate it today. Wow-wee. Well, 2020, of all years, might be a great time to start using that bunker. Well, the third room is the best one

because it's got four deadbolt locks and no windows. And honestly, my wife refuses to go down in that building at all. Well, I can imagine it'd be quite eerie quite freaky in there thank you so much for your call you get yourself a 50 dollar supermarket voucher as well some original kiwi dip have a great weekend all right thanks man don't forget to call me oh you're not right so i've already got your number saved so don't you worry about that how am i going along with that look this is anyway he's undoing the handcuffs as he speaks my friend remember to double pump the Vogels

It's Jono and Ben on the hits He's joining us in the studio right now It's very exciting He's got a new book He's got a new wine He may have a new attitude I'm not sure It's the one and only Paul Henry

Nice to have you here I haven't got a new attitude Hey, how are you? Look at that I mean, God, look Welcome to Family Friendly Fun, Paul This is the hits, my friend Haven't we changed?

Haven't you changed? I mean, look at the studio. I know. It's like it's just glass. When I started, you had no glass in a radio studio because of the, you know, the acoustics were appalling. And all the illicit drugs you were all snorting. You couldn't do that through a window.

It wasn't just drugs. We were snorting any number of different things. Well, I don't know. We'll start with the wine. You've got a new wine out now. This is the third. I feel like I've just come in here to peddle stuff. Well, I have.

I've just come in here to peddle stuff. Well, you've never had one of those otherwise, right? Yeah. And I'm hoping to get a free therapeutic mouthwash from you, John. You know I commit. These fingers are magic. I did. Yeah, yeah.

I've always felt they probably were. Okay, so I've got a new wine out. It's being released today. It's my third vintage of Pinot Noir, right? Now, I know this's being released today. It's my third vintage of Pinot Noir, right? Now, I know this sounds just like a shameless plug for my third vintage of Pinot Noir, which is out today, available only from Glengarry's. I'm doing a signing from 3.30 this afternoon

in what's the name? Just down the road, Victoria Park. Oh, Victoria Park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the park or at a store? No, at the Glengarry's. It's in the park. He's signing bottles for homeless people.

When the wine's all sold, I'll go into the park and do a signing for different reasons. But here's the thing. The reason I do this is that it's art. It's as close as I get to being artistic. That's very cool. It's like they are the best Pinot Noir grapes from Central Otago, from the best vineyards.

And I blend it with these guys at In Vivo and honestly, that is a $60 bottle of wine which we're selling for $30. But it's art. It's absolute. Do you want to try it? Well, you sent some to us and you were trying to...

Well, I was meant to try it and then my wife, who I've got on the phone right now, she went to a BYO last night. So Amanda's on the phone right now. Amanda. She took the wine. She took the a BYO last night. So Amanda's on the phone right now. Amanda. She took the wine. She took the wine.

You took the Paul Henry bottle of wine to your BYO, your work BYO. Oh, yeah. Amanda, Amanda, is Paul Henry Amanda? Oh, good morning. Hey, you already. Did you, like, this was an expensive but beautiful, these are limited edition bottles of wine.

It's not a BYO wine. Henry, Paul Henry, I drank your wine last night. Thank you. It was really nice. Oh, okay. I'm changing my attitude already. No, wasn't it beautiful? It was fabulous.

Oh, there we go. That's so nice. Oh, we don't need to open this one then. We'll leave this here sealed. Oh, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. You probably had it slightly too soon because it's only just been bottled. And do you know what? Bottling.

Here's an interesting thing to take, a factoid to take to your next BYO. Bottling tortures wine, you know, the actual bottling process. So you need to leave it for preferably a couple of weeks just to settle down, just to calm down. Really? So Amanda, out of 10, what would you give the Paul Henry Pinot Noir? Third installment. Pretty good.

I'd say like a 9.7. 9.7. Love you. You started by saying you hated it. The thought of it being carted to a BYO. I took it home. My parents were up from Christchurch. Thanks, Amanda.

Annie Pryor opened it. It sat on the bench and breathed. Apparently, he let it breathe. She let it breathe for four or five hours. Oh, they all hoed into it. Thanks, Amanda. Annie Pryor opened it. It sat on the bench and breathed. Apparently, he let it breathe. She let it breathe for four or five hours. Oh, they all hoed into it. Yeah, we loved it. It was delicious. Well, we'll leave this one here.

We won't try it now then. We can if you want. Yeah, let's do it. Mate, it's Friday. Yeah, it's Friday. I saw you were hosting the election on News Hub drinking wine. I know. I'll tell you a funny thing about that.

And this is how you know you've made it in broadcasting. I'm carrying wine into the studio. And this person saw me, one of the other people saw me doing it and picked up a wine and as they were walking and someone snatched it off and said paul henry's the only person that can drink wine on air yeah i was like no one's gonna stop him but uh so let's get on to the u.s election paul yep have you ever seen anything like this in all of your journalism career do you mean here we go this is the sound of this is going to get a very slurry abusive show by nine o'clock do you mean have i seen anything like the whole trump thing or have i seen anything like this particular election this particular election yes it happens

all the time it happens all the time i mean people think you know oh we haven't got a result you know it's been election day and we haven't got a result. And there was, when was it? Was it 2000 where the result didn't come until the 14th of December? So this was Gore. This is how Gore works, right? This is, yeah. And so there's nothing unusual about this.

The really unusual thing is you had President Trump, that speech on election night was truly extraordinary where one, he claimed victory when there was no reason to presume he should. Two, he then championed democracy and went on to say, we should stop counting votes now. He contradicted himself

so many times. Then he very quickly said, but let's keep counting in Arizona. Not on the other side. I loved it afterwards, you were like, what a time to be alive. I know, I know. Now we've got Paul Henry broadcaster with us in the studio. He's got his new wine. It's out right now.

His Pinot Noir is number three from Glen Gary. We're tasting his new wine at the moment. Isn't it lovely? And you give that a few years. Throw a couple more years of that. Of course, no one will. Certainly throw another week at it. It is lovely.

It's lovely. This is a very sophisticated segment on our show. Wine tasting with Jono and Ben. Paul Henry. We're talking about politics. Should we light up some fine cigars? Paul Henry, as well as his new wine out at the moment, he's got Paul Henry, I'm in a United State, his new book.

Very interesting. I've been sort of flicking my way through that. Found some interesting little tidbits about yourself as well. And the way books work is you open the first page, you start reading. You don't just flick through. Like a magazine. It's not an encyclopedia. I'll be jumping around.

I read about Richard Simmons. I read about the TV3. I read about you hugging Jacinda at Elton John, which I found quite interesting, that she had just hugged Elton John just before. So she hugged me. I mean, we're mates. We get on really well.

I gave her a hug. She gave me a hug. It was just perfectly natural. She gave me, it was just perfectly natural. And as she pulled away, she said, oh, you're not as sticky as Elton. And I said, oh, that's good. She said, I was just hugging him. He's obviously not well. And I said, oh, thanks very much, Jacinda.

This is before the pandemic, obviously. Yeah, that reduces the degrees of separation. Here's my, no, have you ever heard of walking pneumonia? He brought COVID to New Zealand. He did. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I can't believe you even remember walking pneumonia because that was the first time I heard it.

And then all of a sudden, journalists went around and found out that it was just a thing, aka COVID-19. Yeah. Now, a couple of other things I found interesting, just flicking through your book, the fact that you had a wedding, a surprise wedding as well,

which is everyone, you said it was a housewarming. So people turned up, they wouldn't be dressed for a wedding. No, no, because, no, so what, no. So we were always going to tell people a few days before that it was a wedding because, you know, there's some surprises are not always good, you know. So a surprise wedding's a dangerous thing. I went to a surprise wedding and it was meant to be a Barbie. Did it go well? It was fine, but it was like meant to be a barbie so we all turned up in shorts

and jandals and then they're like surprised we're getting married and everyone was like oh we could have worn yeah i mean the only upside is you you didn't need to get a present yeah but but no so the thing was my daughter my youngest daughter bella got married the weekend before so i didn't want anything to overshadow it. So I didn't even say we were getting married. And anyway, I've been married before. Diane's been married before, you know, back to your homes. Second time round. I lost all the passion with the wedding. I've put the gate code in now. I'm shutting the gate. Paul Henry as well, I found interesting. You've never changed

the nappy until this year. 2020, big year for you. I know. Did you read that, my whole first nappy thing? And you shouldn't be proud of this, but like three daughters, and I say in here that, you know, I now appreciate my ex-wife more than I did at the time. Right, yeah. But I knew at the time, I was smart enough to recognise that that was not going to be a pleasant thing to do.

So I always manoeuvred myself away from it. And then I found myself in the book, I go through it in real time. I found myself confronted with this grandchild who I will never see again until he's out of nappies. And I was the sole looker after her of him, you know, and I said to Lucy, my eldest daughter, his mother, I said, I don't mind. I can sit here for two hours. And I poured myself a nice glass of wine. I said, I'm fine. And so what she had done, because she knew I wasn't going to change a nappy, she had been feeding him banana to make him go to the toilet. But I don't know why you do that.

Don't even ask. But he hadn't gone. And so when I looked at him, and all of a sudden it was just me and Ray, me and Ray. And I looked at him. And I thought, that's a look. And it's a look of concentration, you know. And so I decided, as it

turns out unwisely, to try and stave off the inevitable by giving him a tub of yoghurt. Oh, right, to try and block it up. I just thought if he got into a tub of yoghurt, anyway, he painted himself, me and the room with yoghurt and then shat everywhere.

Oh, poor Henry, it's always good to catch up. He's got his new book out at the moment. He's got his new wine in Glengarry's. He'll be signing in the park this afternoon as well. Do you know that nappies don't have front and back written on them? Disposable nappies. Did you put it on backwards? No, but how would you know?

No, it's a guessing game. Unless you look at the one you peel off, which I don't know why anyone would do that. Why wouldn't they just put an F and a B? I don't know. Are you going to change another one, or are you like one and done? That's it.

Oh, yeah. I'm not going to see that child again. But what I would say is maybe I should work on nappies. I've got the book. I've got the wine. Disposable nappies. Oh, Paul the book I've got the wine disposable nappies oh Paul Herriot the new feature

I love it to catch up with you as always love your work thank you guys thank you serving bowls of lolls for breakfast actual lolls may not be served

it's Jono and Ben on the heads now Shira Coke is back and thanks to Coke we're on the hunt to find New Zealand's good buggers if you want to nominate

someone in your community that's done something really awesome we could turn up and meet them next week and give them a little plaque to say thanks, share a Coke, and give them $500 cash as well. Now, someone's nominated. Do you remember we spoke

to Keith and Sally about a month or so ago in Kitty Kitty, and Keith's been doing wonderful things around the community. We spoke to them on the radio. Keith, we're doing well. You're a good Samaritan, aren't you? You haven't spoken to my wife. Okay. on the radio. Keith, we're doing well. You're a good Samaritan, aren't you?

That's a massive opinion. You haven't spoken to my wife. Okay. What would Keith's wife say about Keith? Have a quick word. He's lovely. He does all the cooking, all the cleaning, all the ironing. Is there anything this man doesn't do?

Who is this guy? Who is this guy? So he goes around kitty-kitty, picking up rubbish, entertaining the local kids. He's adorable. They're both adorable. It was a lovely couple, and they have been nominated, well, Keith in particular, for a good bugger in the community.

And Sally joins us on the phone once again. How are you, Sal? Mustang Sally. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Oh, it's lovely to hear from you. Listen, we understand we've got a nomination from you.

You've got a good bugger in your life. That's right. I've got a good bugger in me life. I'm here washing up. Oh, there's the good bugger there, Keith. Yes, he is here, yes. He's there as well. I was thinking, I was hoping you were going to say it was your husband, Keith, and not another man. Oh, no.

I wouldn't change this one. He goes out and about. We learned last time he picks up rubbish all around the community, doesn't he? He sure does. He sure does. And did I tell you last time he does bubbles, giant bubbles? He blows bubbles. Oh, he's as big as a car, apparently.

Yeah, huge bubbles. And he goes on a morning and he blows them and all the motorists going to work and all the kids going to school all waving and stopping. And they love it. He's blowing bubbles with his mouth or? No, he has a wand, a wand. Oh, well, listen, can we get inside a bubble

if we come and visit you? Oh, you, listen, can we get inside a bubble if we come and visit you? Oh, you're too big. I can put kids inside a bubble. Oh, well, you can put Ben in. He's the size of a child. Yeah. Okay, can he fit inside a hula hoop? I can fit inside a hoop.

Yeah, we can give it a go. How big do you think we are? I don't know. I've never seen that. Oh, yeah, fair enough. Fit inside a hood. Most people can fit inside a hood. That's why they're designed.

Yeah. Everyone talks about staying in your bubble. Well, he's literally putting people in a bubble this year, so that's great. Yeah. So, yeah, that's amazing things that he does for the community, so he sounds very deserving. And he also, at the end of our road, we have a garden each side.

And it was totally overgrown years ago. The council never looked after it because it's a council garden. Residents never looked after it. So Keith went round the residents, got money off them all. And he laid, pulled it all out, cleaned it off and put pebbles in there

and it now looks great. Oh, gosh, I can see why you married him. Yeah, I know. You're lucky. Actually, I married him because I thought he had money. Turns out he had no money. He has a bubble-making machine, though, so that's good. I'd be saving up.

He was in the army and he'd been overseas, so he didn't have nothing to spend his money on and then we were pen pals. So he came and met me and the first time he met me, he took me shopping and he saw this lovely suit in the window in Liverpool. A blue suit with a white blouse and he said

oh would you like that? And I thought oh yeah. So he pulls out this big wad of money because cash in those days you know he pulls out this big wad of money, because cash in those days, you know, no pads. Big wad of money. And we go and we buy it. And I thought, oh, that's good. I'm on to a good thing here.

But when I actually got through all of that money, I realised that was it. That's all he had. He had spent all of his savings on your blue suit, white blouse. I hope you're still wearing it today. Oh, I wish I could get into it. I was only seven stone then. Keith, so you're nominating Keith for the Coca-Cola Good Buggers.

We could be coming to see you and share a Coke with him and give him some cash money. He can buy you another blue suit with a white blouse. God, he's giving it all. Do you know what? We didn't know that, that there was money involved. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we were gobsmacked. God, he's giving it all. Do you know what? We didn't know that, that there was money involved. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we were gobsmacked.

Oh, that's amazing. We were really gobsmacked. Absolutely gobsmacked. Oh, Keith, you do sound like a deserving recipient of this, my friend. So I look forward to potentially meeting you and Sally. Yeah, that'd be great.

Oh, I'm putting you in a bubble. Put us in a bubble, yeah. I'll show you a few tricks with the bubbles when you come great. Oh, I'm putting you in a bubble. Put us in a bubble, yeah. I'll show you a few tricks with the bubbles when you come down. Oh, okay. I can't wait. I'm very excited about these bubbles. Oh, this will knock your bandy. I'd like you to come and see my garden,

because I've got a memorial thing. I'm ex-forces, and I've got a memorial thing to the guys that I was with in the forces. Don't cry. Oh God. Oh God, you're crying. Listen, no, that's... He's got a memorial in the

garden to the guys that he was in the army with who got killed. Oh my gosh. He saw active service in the Middle East and Cyprus and that, so a few guys got killed. The stuff those soldiers saw and went through. Yeah, I know. It stays with them, right? I know, and like

there was no PTSD stuff then, you know, you came out and you got on with it. Yeah, you're right. Mental health wasn't spoken about back then, was it? No, it definitely wasn't, no. I'm okay now. Look, see? I have to say, though, he cries at the drop of a hat.

He sounds like a beautiful person. You both do. And we hope to meet you guys next week, give you guys a big hug, and thank you for what you do for the community. All right, Keith, I'll make some scones for you. All right. Look forward to seeing you. Put the jug on.

See you, guys. See you. I'll see you, guys. Thanks. Eggs for breakfast. It's to seeing you. Put the jug on. See you guys. See you. See you guys. Thanks. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now the results

of the New Zealand election, the official results come out today, including the referendum results, so they'll be out this afternoon. Still waiting for our swing state of gore in Stewart Island

to see where they're sitting. And I think Judith Collins might be taking them to court too over those results. Yeah, well you're right. The US election just seems to be dragging on. There was a great tweet yesterday from Mark Austin who said, never again can America mock cricket

for going on for days without a result because that's basically what's happening at the US election right now. We still don't know. There's about four to six states that they reckon are very close, too close to call and it could take weeks. The amount of times in my life I've counted up to 270. This has been the most exciting

counter. Has it for you too? Oh, it has. And you were saying online they've employed the use of an official counter to tally up the votes now. Yeah, that's right. A lot of people making this gag. Ah, that's one, two, three. Ah, ah, ah. So it's taken a long time to count, as you said. Very slow.

With the laughs in between the numbers, he's dragging these. No wonder it's taking another three or four days until we get a result. But we wanted to know this morning, wanted to throw it out there, and this might be one of those radio moments where you throw out something and nothing comes back. Yeah, we have a lot of those. Yeah, and that's fine. But has anyone listening right now ever met Donald Trump,

who's the current president and... Joe Biden. Who was the vice president and now wants to be president. Oh, 800, the hit telephone number. It could be a handshake. It could just be a wave. It could be yelling at them something as they're driving past. We'll take anything.

Yeah, Joe Biden came to New Zealand in 2016. He got an all black top from Jerome Kano. The more I read about Biden, I'm like, he's a good man. Hey, Joe Biden. His wife and child died in a car accident. So he would commute every day, hour and a half every day on the train, the public train

from Washington to Delaware, his hometown, just so he could put his boys to bed. How sweet is that? So he'd go to work and then come home. Every day they called him Amtrak Joe. That's right. That was the name of the train, Amtrak Joe. And he would hold meetings on there.

There's a photo of him and Kamala, his deputy, his vice, having a meeting on the public train. Feels like this should be at a more secure location. I don't know if he'll be able to do that if he's president, but we won't find out for weeks on that one. But anyway, 0800 the hat to 4487. Have you ever met Trump or Biden? Christina Winton. and do that if he's president, but we won't find out for weeks on that one. But anyway, 0800 the hat to 4487. Have you ever met Trump or Biden?

Christina Winton, how's the Southland region this morning? Hello. How are you, mate? I'm good. You met Donald Trump, they tell us. No, my teacher did. Oh, okay. All right, one step removed, but we'll take it. We'll take it.

When was this? It was a couple of years ago. She was on holiday over in America, and they walked past him doing one of his protests, and they had a big blow-up balloon of him as well. So did she see him or the blow-up balloon of Donald Trump?

Both, but this was my teacher. Yeah, right. We'll take it. We'll take it. The real version and a life-size blow-up balloon version. That's pretty cool. Well, thank you for calling up. You get some original Kiwi Dip and a $50 supermarket gift card to buy some dippers, whether they be chips or

they be celery or carrot. You can buy all those to dip in your dip, alright? Awesome, thank you. There you go. Saw two trumps, both full of hot air. Hashtag, am I right? This is exciting. On the phone right now, we have a friend of the show, nanogirl Michelle Dickinson.

How are you doing? Hello, how are you? I'm good, thanks. Now, Michelle Dickinson, I understand you met Joe Biden. I did. I was incredibly lucky to meet Joe Biden and his family when they were here in Auckland in 2016. Oh, wow.

This is insane. Now his family, I've been reading up about Biden. He's had quite a traumatic life, the poor guy, because his first wife and his daughter died in a car accident. Then his son died recently, too. Yeah, there's a lot of history there. And people who don't know his character then look into his history. He's had some real trauma. and he's worked through it all um and i think it shows in the fact that when he came to new zealand he did bring three of his granddaughters with him to come and see

you know something different so that was quite fun so when abouts was this was 2016 right 2016 he was here and he just visited australia and he was doing a bit of a tour and looking at reinforcing the u.s presence in the pacific and new zealand he was here for He had just visited Australia. He was doing a bit of a tour looking at reinforcing the U.S. presence in the Pacific and New Zealand. He was here for a couple of days. It was organized by the American ambassador then, Mark Gilbert. And, yeah, Mark said, hey, you know, would you like to meet Jared? I was like, yes. He was like, would you like to meet his family too? And I was like, do you know what I'd love to do?

I'd love to do some science with his family because his wife, Jill, has a doctorate in education, so she's passionate about education. And so I was really lucky. I got to do the formal events meeting them, and then they invited me up to their humongous hotel suite where I brought a whole bunch of science stuff, and we spent the evening talking about science and education

and doing some science with his granddaughters. In the hotel, so the hotel cleaners would have come in the next day and said no, who's been doing science in here? Bloody nanogirls everywhere. Oh, that's awesome. I'm always in trouble. So now he potentially could be the next president of the USA. It's pretty cool that you've met him and you've done

science stuff for his grandkids. You know, and it's really interesting when you get into politics, there are a lot of people who get into politics, I think, for the right reasons, which is to try and make positive change. My time with Joe, which was only one evening with him and his family, he really is about giving up everything

to just try and make positive change in the world and I think that's all we could ever want from world leaders, hey? How would you describe his character? Oh, he was really polite, really lovely, very charming, very friendly, very welcoming. I mean, just a real delight to be around.

He looks like a president, you know? When you see a photo of somebody, even if I hadn't been living on this planet, I'd arrive and go, well, there's your president. Yeah, but you know, he doesn't look like Jacinda either, so we've got to make sure our stereotypes of what presidents look like. Oh, damn right.

He looks like a male president. And then if I saw Jacinda, I'd say, well, there's your female president. There's your leader right there, you know. Well done. I think our history of presidents hasn't had that much diversity apart from obviously Obama. So, you know, we've got a lot of work to do around what

a president looks like. Well, you did right. You did right because at the moment, there's not much choice, is there? I would have thought they might have put Kamala up, the Democrats. Look, you know, I mean, I think America takes a little bit more time to think about diversity in some of those leadership positions.

I think we're really lucky here in New Zealand. You know, I think we've been really forward thinking in how we vote for our leaders. So yeah, America just seems to be a little bit slower in what it thinks can lead the country. Well said, Nanogirl. Now I understand as well, you're doing Nanogirl kids parties as well.

People want to get you along or the team along? We are. So obviously we had to give up our massive shows because we don't want to risk too much COVID spread. So we're doing Nanogirl birthday parties and parties at different venues. And it's been amazing. So we're doing Nanogirl birthday parties and parties at different venues and it's been amazing. So we come to your house, we've got presenters all over the country

and yeah, it's been pretty cool to bring some life science back to people's homes. Now I'm looking at your Instagram here, Nanogirl, and I can see you probably 400 metres in the air kite surfing. Yeah, that's my other hobby. How long have you been kite surfing for? Oh, longer than probably, that's my other hobby.

How long have you been kite surfing for? Longer than probably, yeah, a long time. Probably 15 years now. Wow, you look like a pro. I've done some comps, yeah. Wow. For a while. Listen, we've spoken to you multiple times. Not once have you mentioned this kite surfing hobby.

It's really hard to talk to you from the water, that's why. Oh, Nanogill, lovely. Oh, sorry, you've got more kite surfing based questions. No, no, I'll leave the kite surfing there. If you ever guys want to go for a kite surf, just let me know. I'll give you a lesson. Oh, okay. We will go for a kite surf. Does Nanogill look like a kite

surfer to you, Jono, or are you going to say anything else? She looks like an accomplished kite surfer. Now, if I'd come from another planet say anything else? Shoot, that's like an accomplished kite. Now, if I had come from another planet, I'd be like, there's a kite surfer. Good. Hey, Michelle, love your time. Love you. Thank you for your time.

And I'm sorry, I'm wrapping up now. Appreciate it. See you, buddy. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, made in Australia. I saw this on social media. He had his bike stolen a couple of days ago.

Like, he had a flash new push bike. But the person who stole the bike left their bike and put a little note going, I don't want to leave you empty-handed, and left their bike. And he was like, well, their bike was shitty. So it's less of a crime and more like a shady trade me swap situation. I guess in some ways it's a nice gesture from the thief, but also just a bit like he was like, well, it's kind of a bit of an inconvenience now, but I guess at least I've still got a bike.

That is a generous act from a, it reminds me of when I was at school and Tony Dalton said, should we swap chips? And I gave him my rations and he gave me a bag of ready salted. Same sort of situation. Rations are a higher grade of chip. Yeah, he got a better deal there. Yeah, exactly. But when it

comes to criminals in Australia, Boss Todd has an amazing story there, right? Oh, yeah, he was working at the radio station in the Outback with koala. I think his show was with the Koala. The producer was a kangaroo. The phone operator

was a snake. Where does a spider fit into this? He's coming, he's coming. But he was, he turned out, he was hosting the breakfast show, I think, at the time. And he turned up, he's like, oh, the place is open. Great. So he just wandered on.

So this is kind of in the middle of nowhere out in the outback. Middle of nowhere. Six in the morning. He's turned up for work. And he walks into the work kitchen. And there's a gentleman there with his hands full with a lot of products from the office. And Todd's like, oh, g'day, Cobber, Ayers Rock, Sydney Opera House, and other Australian references.

And the guy holding all the stuff's like, oh, hi, how are you? Todd's like, I'm good, mate. How are you? You look like you've got your hands full there. He's like, yeah, no, I do. And he's like, do you want a taxi chit to give you a lift home? And the guy's like, oh, I'd love a taxi chit. So Todd got him a taxi trip. I'd love a taxi trip.

So Todd got him a taxi trip. I think even Todd helped him carry the stuff from the station into the taxi. And then went and did his show. Did a wonderful show. Wonderful gesture, eh, for someone. You know, Todd had done a wonderful thing. Yeah, and then did his broadcast, talked about things like Pauline Hanson,

cricket. The Wiggles. Melbourne Cup. And finished off air and he got out and the whole office was in a panic. There was 20 people running around stressing or looking for stuff. And he's like, what's going on out here, Cobbers? And they're like, we've been robbed. Someone's taken everything.

And he went. Did anyone see anything unusual? We were like, yeah, I booked some guy a taxi. Quite he went, oh. Has anyone seen anything unusual? We were like, yeah, book some guy a taxi. Quite a lot of stuff. And I mean, to be fair to Todd, that's quite a disorganised criminal who doesn't organise transport

away from the scene of the crime. Yeah, right. Just sort of turns up, grabs the stuff. Hoping some generous person will turn up with a taxi, shit book. I love that story.

I think Todd was even loading stuff into the boot for it. There you go, mate. Closing it down. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Ben Voice Productions Limited proudly presents Jono Fryer's Worst Moments of the Week. I mean, a lot of stuff's gone on in the history of the world this week.

We're going to look back on this week. And you're still wanting to focus on my worst moments. I thought of any week in the calendar year that you'd be like, hey, no, there's other stuff to talk about. There is other stuff, you're right. But people were getting a little over talking about that all the time. So people want to hear about your worst moments of the week. That's what I like to think anyway.

And we're going to take you back to early in the week where we had Tanya on the phone, but you just kept calling her Kim. Let's go to Kim in Whangarei. What's going to be a good day for you, Kimbo? It's Tanya. Oh, Tanya.

What's going to be a good day for you? I normally work five days a week in the office, and I get to work from home today. Well done. I'm going to send you off to the movies, Kim. Reading cinemas, okay?

Tanya. Tanya. Oh, jeez. Do you know, actually, a fun fact of many South American countries, Tanya's referred to as Kim's. That's not true. No, it's not. We also spoke, we rang our hooker ticket this week,

and we spoke, it was like a possum factory that make things out of possum fur. And, well, the lady thought you asked a very inappropriate question. Now, are you the shop that does the possum genital warmers? We've got nipple warmers and willy warmers. And how are your nipples been? Do you need warmth from them? No, I'm too old for that.

Geez, that would have been an appropriate question. I appreciate you answering that, Kel. You're asking me. Maybe she thought, how are your nipples then? Rather than Ben, I think maybe that's

what over the phone was. I mean, she, full credit for her honesty. Open book. No, it was a big week for you, Jono, because this week you put your first ever video

on social media. You uploaded it yourself with no help at all. On IGTV, Instagram TV, you're right. Yeah, and you put your first ever video on social media. You uploaded it yourself with no help at all. On IGTV, Instagram TV. You're right. Yeah. You put it up. You put it up. It was a video that one of the, oh, the Trump prank you played on me.

Yesterday, Ben, I put something on Instagram TV all by myself. And apparently it's on the internet. So I don't know. Well done. So you can find that somewhere on there. I don't know where you find it. I'm going to put it up somewhere I'll put it on Pornhub

I think so what imagine if you're going imagine if I did upload it there a prank that you played on me over the phone with a Donald Trump impersonator

someone's visiting there for other reasons and they're like oh okay this is going to get good soon I reckon it's going to get good I reckon that guy's looking all anxious

and nervous about talking to the president I reckon he's going to take his clothes reckon that guy's looking all anxious and nervous about talking to the President I reckon he's going to take his clothes off soon What about that girl who's kind of impersonating a Prime Minister? What's she up to? This is weird We're not all hooking up

Coming to long play this one I'll give it a crack anyway And our final moment of Jono's Worst of the Week, quite possibly my favourite moment ever, we had Diane on and she had a great burn on you. Since Diane's good at guessing presents, just can we bring Diane back?

Okay, a 38-year-old bald man. What would you get them, Di? Uh, toupee. Touché for the toupee, Diane. And that is Jono's Worst Moments of the Week. Back again next Friday on The Hits. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. She is the hardest-working copier and paster of celebrity news in the game. Producer Juliette, what's happening in Spy? So, Laurie Lachlan, after the old college admissions scandal, she was sentenced to prison for, I think, two months. So she was Aunty Becky on the TV show Full House, which everyone knows, right? Yeah, and so she tried to get her daughters into a prestigious university college. The worst crime of them all.

The daughters being DJ Michelle. No, they weren't her daughters, actually. No, they were Danny Tanner's daughters. That joke doesn't work. Sorry, I take that back. I'm just trying to name characters from Full House. Joey. Joey's.

Uncle Jesse. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen twins They weren't the characters They were the Anyway But Laurie Loughlin She started her prison sentence And she

Before she When she first got into prison She has to be in solitary confinement Because of COVID When she first enters So they have to make sure She's not displaying COVID symptoms And everything

For a couple of weeks Before she can go into the regular jail And apparently Reports are That she is really struggling. Apparently, she's an absolute wreck in there. I can imagine it wouldn't be very nice. Yeah, yeah. And comparing from her, you know, luxury life that she's lived up until this moment,

it would be a pretty big shock. They had a nice house in San Francisco, didn't they? Ben, okay? The show's not real. Okay, right. She's in a lot of trouble, this lady. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, I don't mean to make light of the challenge.

How long is she in prison for? Two months. Oh. So it's not a very long time? Yeah, no. She's already gone... Away. She's used to a full house, mate.

She's by herself. She likes company? She does, she does. Anyway, let's all share a spirit of thought for Laurie. And I hope she makes it through all right. Thank you. Sounds good. It seems like such a low-level crime to be sent to prison for, doesn't it?

I guess I've kind of made an example of her, I feel like, in this situation. Who's her husband? The husband's like, is it William H. Macy? No, I think there was another, no, that was the, no, no. But they were also involved in a similar thing. William H. Macy, the actor was involved, wasn't he? Yes, with his wife who was on Desperate Housewives as well, yeah. She's also an actor as well.

So they were paying off officials to try and get their kids into university. Oh, you mean donations and stuff to get the kids into a better school. Yeah, and fabricating their talents as well. I think one of them, you know, trying to say that they're a professional rower or something along those lines, yeah. Well, if that's not enough to send you to prison nowadays, I don't know what is. And the TV show Popstars, which was big in the late 90s, I think it was,

is coming back to TVNZ. And obviously Pop stars made, made what? True Bliss. Here's a 22 year old trying to talk about a show that was around when she wasn't alive.

True Bliss were a big deal in New Zealand. They created the pop stars a show that got into 50 countries around the world.

They did 50 versions of it. They were the original American Idol, Pop Idol. This was a show before that. It was amazing. Yeah, unfortunately, they did all that

and didn't make the billions and billions of dollars that Simon Cowell made. Yeah, but they made True Bliss. Thanks for saving me there, Ben. You're welcome, you're welcome. I didn't really know much about it. But, you know.

Have you heard the song? No, never. Have you not? No, never. This is True Bliss. So this was a group that was formed, they were like New Zealand

Spice Girls, weren't they? And yeah, this was, was this the only song they did? No, I think it was another one as well. It was another single, which I can't remember off the top of my head right now. So this was Tonight's Tonight We Make Love Until The End. Yeah. And so no, it was a really innovative format. Yeah.

How old were you when this was on? In 1999, I would have been one year old. One year old. Yeah, I'm a little Gen Z-er. You know, you can't really expect much from me to know about this sort of thing. Yeah, no. Well, it didn't show. That was the main thing.

It didn't show that you'd know. Exactly, not at all. The song's longer than 15 seconds as well. You lose interest. Exactly, exactly. And that's Spy. For more, you can go to the hits.co.nz. New Zealand's breakfast.

Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. When it comes to journalism, he is not afraid to ask the hard questions, like how do you replace the printer paper? That's tough.

It's typical. And whereabouts is the sugar in the communal work kitchen? He asks these questions, and he'll get those answers. And why is the door so heavy to the studio? That's another question I ask. But right now we're looking at some of the big news stories, not just in New Zealand but around the world. The US election just keeps going.

Still too close to call. Six states still to come. It's very, very close. It's anyone's game really. And it's quite interesting because all the Trump supporters, including Trump, are like, stop the count! Stop the counting of the votes! And then all the Biden supporters are going, every vote must be counted.

And according to social media, a lot of people have said they've brought in a count expert. Ah! That's one! Two! Three! Ah! Ah! Ah! I like that. It made me laugh this morning when I saw that. Although it's going to be a very slow count. If in between every number he's like, ah, ah, ah.

You can pick up the pace a little bit. Isn't it a great, can I just say, thank you to this US election for great light banter. We had to go to a morning tea yesterday. Oh, yes. And, you know, chatting to strangers. You're like, this is 10 minutes of light banter. Sure, you're watching the election.

Oh, yeah. You go through your thing. Oh, Nebraska, Minnesota. Oh, it banter. True, you're watching the election. Oh, yeah. You go through your thing. Oh, Nebraska, Minnesota. Oh, it's great. Yeah, it's a good point. And yesterday it was pouring down with rain, so you had the weather chat. US election, light banter o'clock.

Loved it. I keep this thing going, I say. And if anything, it's been a wonderful education on where the certain states are located through America. Probably for Donald Trump as well, too. Nebraska? I've never heard of Nebraska. So we'll keep you updated if any results come through of the election this morning. I mentioned before, too, Paul Henry joining us after 8 o'clock.

He lives in the US and he's a huge follower of the US election, so we'll get his take on things, too. And he's a tree seed. If he could vote, he would vote for Trump. He would have. At last election, He said that in his book, actually. Yes, I wonder if he still thinks the same. As well as that, there's a couple of shows. A couple of old shows are getting returned to New Zealand television. A reboot, The New Zealand Apprentice, is back on TVNZ next year.

Money, money, money, money. Hey, I tell you what, The Apprentice worked well for one particular political figure. Yeah, exactly. Could be our next Prime Minister. As well as that, Popstars. Do you remember Popstars back in the day? They started, this show started True Bliss. Great song, great song.

They're a great group. And this, Popstars was 50 different versions of this show went around the world. And they made versions in 50 different countries. And it was basically before American Idol and Pop Idol and that. This was the show that started it all here in New Zealand. Yeah, by a Kiwi. And I think Simon Fuller, who was the creator of... Pop Idol, American Idol.

Yeah, kicked that trend off, was inspired by the show. Yeah. Unfortunately, the makers of the show didn't quite... He's inspired by it. It changed a few things. They made billions of dollars. They did a new version of it. Far more successful.

No, but amazing. I mean, awesome that we started the radio. Oh, it's fantastic. And it's such an original idea for that time, too. And I remember Trubelis was the biggest thing out when they were formed. And if you can't, you probably weren't around, Julianne. No, I don't think I've ever heard of them before.

No, they were sort of like the Spice Girls. And they all auditioned. And they obviously didn't know each other. They were put together in this group, and they recorded that song. Can we listen to it again? Tonight's the night. Tonight's the night we make love to the end. How on earth had they been making love until that point?

We never found out, did we? Had they been stopping halfway? Uh-uh, we're out. We're out. No, no, we're out. We're out. No, no, that's enough. We've done a quarter. We'll clean this up again another day. No, tonight's the night

where we finally finish this job. They were massive, though, and I'm sure this next series, which is hosted by Kimbra, a pop star you'll know from... Kimbra's doing it. That's awesome. So it'll be great

looking forward to that next year. You know her from Somebody That I Used To Know. We probably could have got the actual song. We sung it, there we go. Oh that's going to be cool that's exciting and I think it feels like given this year, the pandemic, COVID etc, it's a reset

on entertainment. Yeah. We just want basic, base-level entertainment. Like a dog show. Like a dog show. Like two idiots hosting a dog show. That's where it's gone back to. Reset entertainment, I say. It got too complicated.

It got too judgy. It got too cynical. Yeah. Back to dogs and people singing. That's right. That's what it's all about. That is scrolling through your feed this morning. Morning.

It's Jono and Ben on the Hats. The A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling around every town and city in New Zealand. We call one a day. We're slowly working our way around New Zealand. At this stage, we've finished just in time to find out who's president of the USA. Two and a half years. Will Biden still be alive?

We'll find out. We're going to Hope. A place called Hope. Never heard of Hope. No. It was previously known, and I hope I'm pronouncing this correctly, as Ranzau.

And it was a settlement just south of Nelson. It's in between Richmond and Wakefield in Nelson. And Hope began as a German settlement. Right. Hence the name Ranzau, which was named after the captain of the boat that brought the people from Germany to New Zealand. Okay.

Oh, that's tough as we go, aren't we? We're like the Te Papa of radio. Many great places we could call and hope, including the local drug dealer, the Hope Dope, the local Catholic priest, the Hope Pope, or the runaway wedding venue, the Hope-a-Lope.

But we've decided that we're not going to go on a rhyming pun-based phone. Oh, it sounded fun. I know. We're going to go to the only place in the town that doesn't rhyme, the Hope School. Hope School, Janet speaking. Hi, Janet. How are you?

Oh, good. How are you? It's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station here. Really? Yes. I can hear dinging and ringing. There's a lot of stuff going on in the background there, Janet. You've got a sound effects machine in the background, Jan. Let's call a telephone.

Oh, a telephone. All right. Well, hey, look, sorry to interrupt, but we're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We call one a day. Today we're calling Hope, and we wanted you, if you could, just tell us a little bit about the place. Hope?

Yeah, that's what we're hoping. We all live in Hope, don't we? Oh, my God. The two Hope puns straight off the bat. One from me, one from you, Janet. That was great. What you've done is you've engaged in a pun-off with Ben Boyce, and this is going to continue in pockets throughout the conversation.

I'll just warn you, okay, Janice? I'm hopeful that it'll continue, but anyway. Did I use that one? Oh, dear. Tell us about Hope. Hope is a little rural settlement about seven kilometres out of Richmond, Nelson. Love it. Population, many.

Tell me, what did you think of the 1977 movie Star Wars A New Hope? Well, I'm still hoping to see it. Hopeful that you'll see it. Okay, great. I'm just looking for hope puns. Well, you carry on. Shall we continue on the conversation? Yeah.

And how long have you lived there, sorry? I'm still living in Hope, but I do live in Richmond, so yeah. Is there any stage you think you might abandon Hope? Never. No, okay, good. you think you might abandon hope? Never. No one could ever abandon hope. Good. And what would we do if we went there? What would you suggest?

Hit the Great Taste Trails around the district. What is the Great Taste Trail? It is a cycle trail that links the city to the sea, to the Abel Tasman. Go and have some nice food and wine and ice cream. Oh, lovely. Sounds delicious. Yeah.

I mean, I've never been to heaven, but I'm sure they've got a hope in heaven. I bet they do. Oh, there's another one. There you go. It's really working hard to work this out. It's working hard. It's about now you realise there's not that many hope puns. You know.

Once you've batted off the first couple. Yeah. I hope you're happy now, John. Oh, I'm okay. That's all gone. Okay, yeah, guys, I'm probably done, guys.

Can we let Janice get on with the day? Yeah, I think so. Okay. This has been a good interlude for my morning. Oh, I love it. Us too.

It's been a good segment on the radio show for us too. I was just about to send out a public advisor about Empedigo, so, you know. What's Empedigo? School sores. School sores? Tell advisory about Empedigo, so, you know. What's Empedigo? School sores.

School sores? Tell me about Empedigo. What is this? Wow. Empedigo is a bacterial skin infection. Oh, I see. It usually affects infants and children. I didn't know this.

Yeah, funny that we've got children at school. That'll be there. You've got a prime Empedigo setting there. Yeah. So what are we doing with Empedigo? What's the email we're going to send out? Well, we'll just, you know, get some treatment. And once you've started your ABs, you know, you can come back after 24 hours.

Right, okay. Highly contagious. Yes. Have you got any Empedigo on your... That's a bit personal. It's quite a personal question. We might have to avoid that one. Hey, well, lovely talking to you, and you take care and hope.

You guys have a great day. See you. Bye. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Hey, driving home yesterday, and I thought, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to drive home through the park and enjoy the park.

Nice. And I thought, because, because you know you go home and you do believe it or not we do a little bit of work on this program it does not sound like it and you're like what sort of work are you doing I don't know the answer to that people are almost like disappointed when you say that to them we put effort into this we'll put some effort in there

sounds like you just make it up. But anyway. So I was like, oh, what I'll do is I'll go to the car park of the park and I'll sit in my car on my laptop and work away. Oh, nice. And I'll tell you what, it's until that moment you realise that everyone looks very suspicious sitting in a car, in a car park. You look around and you're like, what are you up to, buddy?

You know? Not getting out of the car, especially on a laptop, too. Like, everyone's going to be like, what's this guy doing? Yeah, you're either about to deal something illegal, meet someone who's not your partner. Or you're looking at something you don't want anyone else to see. That's what people were thinking. Where right now, well, you probably are. You probably don't want people to see your radio prep for the show.

That's very embarrassing. You'd Well, you probably are. You probably don't want people to see your radio prep for the show. That's very embarrassing. You'd rather be looking at adult websites. Less embarrassing. No, no, I was looking at an adult website, not doing preparation for a radio show. Yeah, because when you're in a laptop in a car, you're like, what is this dude up to? You're dead right.

I was outside your house one time. That's right. The neighbour came and knocked on the window. And your neighbour's a lovely guy. He's a lovely guy. He's very free. He knocked on the window. He's like, you want to know something? Without a word of lie, he's like, see, he's a lovely guy. He's a lovely guy. He's very free. He knocks on the window. He's like, you want to know some...

Without a word of lie, he's like, see, you're on a computer. I was like, yeah? He's like, you want to know where I get all my videos from? I was like, what videos? He's like, you know, videos. I was like, ah, okay. And so he gave me a website of just where he finds all his content. Right.

And I was like... an unusual conversation started. He thought you were in the need for that, so hey. Yeah, but we were in a car park one time. You and me remember, we were just sitting there waiting to hook up, I think. Oh. That sounds right, yeah. And then we got out of the car. No, we actually had to meet someone.

We got out of the car, and there was another vehicle in front of us with two workers in and they were like, we thought you guys were doing dealing. We're drug dealing. Because they thought, see, a lot of assumptions are made. Just people sitting in cars and car parks. And that's all they do. Maybe they're just sitting there. Maybe they're just prepping their crappy radio show on their computer, not wanting to look at weird videos. So the ironic thing is you're probably preparing this break right now, what we're talking about right now. Well, that's right. While sitting in there looking like

you're doing all sorts of shenanigans at the bar. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Paige, she's a Kiwi artist destined for big things. She's already got the attention of Billie Eilish and Lizzo with songs like this. It's a very cool song, that. And she's one of the artists confirmed for the Outerfields 2020,

Saturday, March 6th, the Outerfields at Western Springs, featuring Benny, Fat Freddy's, Lady Hawk, and more to be announced. Tickets from Ticketmaster. It's going to be a lot of fun, the Outerfields. Oh, this is okay. This is awkward. So what date did you say The

March 6th March 6th yeah Okay I was actually planning A festival on the Inner Fields Anyway We can talk about that

Later Because we've got Paige On the phone right now I want to talk to Paige Who's confirmed for The Outer Fields How are you going Paige Good

How are you guys going We're doing well But hey Paige Have you ever thought about Doing a gig on the Inner Fields with me? I'll pay you more. Maybe.

Maybe. Oh, you've committed to the outer fields. It does look like a good time, though, doesn't it? Yeah, I'm pretty excited, eh? It's going to be really cool. 12 hours, more than 12 hours of music is what? Too much music. That's quite a lot.

That is too much. That's a long time. No, what more could you want? 10 hours. I feel like because of like 2020 and stuff, it's pretty cool. Pretty cool to be learning about your career because you're super busy. You're a singer, you're a songwriter, you're a podcaster, you're a YouTuber. And do you still have your day job at Krispy Kreme as well?

I have just left recently. You don't want to hear about how I was there. Just like move on from that. I'm a sucker for their Simpsons donut. Oh yeah, pretty good. They've got one where they stick a Kit Kat into. Oh yeah, the Christmas donut,

the Christmas tree. Yeah, no, there's some good ones. Anyway, we're not here to talk about the outer fields and also donut career. But you're like, back off the donuts. I'm here to talk about... I understand that you've got the attention of a few massive international artists

by, you know, you put your covers out on YouTube and it's kind of gained attention from a few people. Like who? You do the honours. You're so humble, are you? Okay, Lizzo. Lizzo. Lizzo. Ruby Rose.

And you're also Billie Eilish as well. She follows you on social media. Yeah. Crazy story, eh? Like two years ago. I mean, I looked at her and I was like, oh, that mustn't be real. And then I looked at her and I was like, oh, oh. Oh.

I love her. Oh. Why? Like, why? Why would she do that? That's awesome. How? Like, why? Why would she do that? That's awesome. How did it come about? Oh, I was commenting some really dumb stuff on her Instagram.

And then she, like, I don't know why, thought I was funny, which is quite outrageous and a bit absurd. That's awesome. She followed you because of your comment, not your musical career. Well, like, I think she looked at my account because of my comment, and then she saw that I sang, and then she kind of went through all of my music. That's awesome.

And obviously Lizzo, did you do a cover of a Lizzo song? I did a little cover on my Instagram, and then she posted it on her story. Everybody kind of talks a lot about the Lizzo thing but it was quite short-lived. Still cool. Hey, I'll be dining out on that. That's for sure if Lizzo was, you know. That would be my official

business title. Hi Paige, do you know I'm followed by Billie Eilish and Lizzo reposted one of my things. Well, I mean, I did put it on my CV. I'm super grateful for it though. You're using the social media the way you want to use it and I'll use it just to peddle off

my diet pills and fit tea. That's what I'll stick to doing. Okay? Good on you. I'm not going to judge you. Why are you guys judging you if you're going to do that?

But I'm an influencer. I'm an influencer and I am making bank. Okay? No. Okay. He's not. He's not even on social media page.

That's a sad thing. You might have noticed when I said the social media. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. We've got Paige with us. She's performing at the Outer Fields March next year, Western Springs. It looks awesome.

Now, Paige, I noticed on some of your social media, you're a fan of a bucket hat. Oh, I'm a big fan of a good bucket. Yeah. Now, Jono tried to wear a bucket hat a few years ago. Can I come in here, Paige, if you don't mind? I came to work one day. It was three or four years ago.

Well ahead of the current bucket hat trend, might I say. And I came in with a black denim stussy, I think, if I remember. It was, yeah. Bucket hat, and I got shamed out of the office. They said I look like a party pill dealer from Rhythm and Vines. See, you've got to just kind of like, you've got to go into it tastefully. We were in capsule beanies before this event. No, it just came out of nowhere.

Did you grant it? It came out of nowhere. Maybe a little bit confronting. You know, you've got to start off with a beanie, you know, work your way up. You can't just come with day one bucket hat. Everyone was like, oh, he's wearing a...

We love that. That's bold. That is bold, but anyway, I threw it away and burnt it, and now they're a thing, and Ben's like, oh, I might buy a bucket hat now. I know, now I'm like, Jotter was ahead of the fashion trend, because they're cool now. But they're not good for when you're doing radio, because you've got to put headphones over a bucket hat.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, see, that's tough, because then they, like, look all flimsy and weird. Yeah, yeah. Now, I'm looking at your photo and your bucket hat here, and you look good. You look good. Oh, thank you.

You pull off a bucket hat. Hey, Liz, it's been lovely meeting you. Yeah, you too. You keep doing what you're doing and we'll talk later about signing off that contract for my Inner Fields Festival. Yep, yep. Just give me the time. I'll give you

the time. Yeah, maybe you can play the Outer Fields and come and do a headline. I'll kick on the Inner Fields. Nice to talk to you, Paige, and congratulations on all your success. It's awesome to hear you on the radio to talk to you, Paige, and congratulations on all your success. It's awesome to hear you on the radio and to see you doing big things. So it's very cool. Oh, thank you, guys. Cheers.

Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy, the WhatsApp by doco.nz. Okay, now for an hourly update on how much more money the Kardashians have made than the rest of us. Juliet, come on in with Spine.

Thank you very much. So, Solomio's singer, Penne, he has been in Europe recently for some shows that he was doing over there. And initially he was in Germany, but then Germany had to go into another lockdown, I think. And so then he was like, okay, I've got no accommodation in Germany. I need to go somewhere else. And then he went to London and then obviously London's, well, the UK has just gone into another lockdown

and he was denied from emergency accommodation or emergency cover, I think. Yeah, he's trying to get home to New Zealand, I think. And he couldn't, you've got to book it. It's pretty much booked out until Christmas to get back. You've got to get a ticket, don't you? Because there's only so many rooms for quarantine here in New Zealand. And so I think now he has to stay in the UK.

Yeah, and so he's in the UK and new restrictions mean that he can't stay in hotels as well. So where's he going to stay? Exactly. So he's trying to figure that out, I think. Yeah. Oh, God. He actually works on one of our affiliate stations. Yeah, Flava.

Here at the NZME network of radio broadcasting organisations. And I remember saying when he was leaving, because his flight was delayed by about a week and a half, even leaving for Germany as well. So it was probably a bit of a gamble going over there in the first place, you would have to say, wouldn't you? I know. Poor bugger.

I know. So he would get back at this stage at Christmas, on Christmas day or near round. Oh, if he has to wait for sort of four to six weeks. Four to six weeks. And then he'd have to isolate for another two weeks on top of that. Yeah. And there must be stories like that all over the world.

Expats trying to get back. Oh, for sure. For Christmas. Yeah. You know, let's spare a thought for them. Okay. Yeah, no. There we go.

There we go. Spare one thought there. We did. It was a nice moment. A nice moment of silence. It's like no one's dead. No. It's not an immemorium.

Pay tribute to them right now. No, but it would be terrible. We can sit here and go, oh, we get to go home. We get to do it. You know, we get to live our lives. But you actually got to, when it's happening to you. And you want to just come back, you're happy to quarantine, you're happy to follow the rules but you just can't

get back out. It must just be a giant, I'd say a ball lake, Benjamin, if I can coin a phrase. You get to a point where you'd be like, can I just swim home? It's a long swim. But yeah, that's an option. A Russian fishing boat.

Can I jump on one of them? Maybe not. That seems like a safe option. And James Blunt, his song, You're Beautiful, which everyone knows. You're beautiful. So there's a... When I hear that, I think he's always singing it to me. Yeah.

It's one of those songs, isn't it? You haven't listened to the lyrics that closely then. It's all about spying someone in a train station, right? And so he's got this US stalker woman who's, you know, as a celebrity, you have your stalker fans. But she once demanded royalties for that song because she claimed that she was the woman in the music video. Oh, that he spied at the train station.

Yeah, and that he was stalking her. But in fact, she's the one that stalks him all the time. And so she's like, nope, nope, that was me. You know, I need royalties for this song. How do we know?

Like, we're just, you're telling me the story and I think we're all assuming she's a crazy lady. What if she's right? What if Blood has been stalking her and wrote an international smash hit about her?

That's a bit creepy. I was there. I saw you looking, mate. Yeah, let's not cast judgment too early on this. Thank you, Joey. True, true. Yeah, you're giving her the benefit of the doubt. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. I was there. I saw you looking, mate. Yeah, let's not cast judgment too early on this. Thank you, Joe. True, true. Yeah, you're giving her

the benefit of the doubt. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. I'm blaming James Blood. James Blood's a stalker. I'm going to go on record and say it. All right, sounds good.

Who writes very catchy, lovable songs. Yeah, he does. Cute, lovable personality. Charming British man. And that's five. For more, you can go to the hits.co.nz.

Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, New Zealand's top ice cream was just awarded. I always hang out for New Zealand's top ice cream. Is it a hokey pokes? They already summed up 2020 this year. Okay, so the mint chocolate was one of the winners,

one of the top winners. It was joint winners, so that's fine. But the other one, vanilla. Vanilla. Oh, it's the reddy salted chip of the ice cream community. Is it a French vanilla or just vanilla? Not apparently. I mean, I'm sure it's great, but you feel like... I mean, it's a good base. You can

top it up with all sorts, but vanilla? Yeah. I'd like in a rum and raisin. Oh. Sorry. Sorry. Get out. What's wrong with raisins and ice cream? Really? Yeah, I like rum and raisin. Hey, 487, back me up on rum and raisin. Rum and raisin. Rum and raisin. Out of all that What's wrong with raisins and ice cream? Really? Hey, 487, back me up on rum and raisin. Rum and raisin.

Rum and raisin. Out of all, that was the first thing that came to mind. You had rum and raisin. I love rum and raisin. That's the last cab off the rank for me. What are you going? I'm probably not going. You're some fat-free, 99% fat-free.

Rum and raisin. If I've got to splurge out, you probably wouldn't go, really? I love rum and raisin. You're not a rum and raisin fan. No, no. You probably bloody like the banana fruit this too, don't you? He just likes the alcohol content. He's like, that one's got some booze in it.

I mean a glass of rum and a small packet of raisins. Oh, I see what you mean. A few texts flooding in for rum and raisin. I just made a wild accusation that rum and raisin's the best ice cream on the market. Johnny Wild, who we work with on Dog Almighty, just texted, I'm with you, rum and raisin, the queen of ice cream, he says. Thank you, John.

Another text here, 4487, Jono, you boomer. Rum and raisins are simply for old people's pellets. So a mix of feedback on the rum and raisin. Look at your Werther's original as well. I'll be spraying my hose at skateboarders on the afternoon. Now we want to start the show as we like to do. Why is today going to be a good day? Give us a call.

Let's start the weekend right. Let's go to Jackie in Auckland. What's going to be a good one for you, Jax? A bit strange. I'm getting a wisdom tooth out and I'm actually looking forward to it. I bet you are. Because they go in and out of your gums. They can cause infection, can't they?

Are you just getting one or all four? Just one. Are they knocking you out? I'm hoping not. I'm hoping just a local. Oh, well, there you go. Good luck for that, and enjoy your new oral setup. Thank you.

Thank you, Shona. You going to have ice cream? She might be enjoying some rum and raisin ice cream. I'll bring around a cup of rum and raisin for you. You can get some original Kiwi tip and a $50 supermarket gift card. Have a great weekend, all right? Thank you so much. Good on you, Jax.

Tanya in Christchurch. It's going to be a good one for you. Why, mate? Oh, we're getting a new puppy. We're going on a road trip up to Nelson, and I'm going to pick up our new puppy. New puppy? New puppy in the house. Well, well done, Tanya.

What's the dog you're getting? A blue heeler. Oh, nice. Oh, Ben has no idea what that is. I shouldn't have asked that question. You can tell by him going dog show. No, there was one on Dog Almighty the other day. Yeah, of course there was.

You're right. How could you forget the blue heeler? Yeah, exactly. Ben, you're a disgrace to dogs. Yes, yes, I know what you're doing. Thank you, Juliette, for that photo. You have a great weekend, all right? Yes, thank you. a disgrace to dogs. Yes, yes, I know what you're doing. Thank you, Juliette, for that photo. You have a great weekend, all right? Yes, thank you.

Enjoy the new puppy. You too, this thing, and have a great weekend. We'll catch you Monday morning from 6 o'clock. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.