Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - November 17 - Doggy Dan, Guess The Guest, The A To Z Of New Zealand

Episode Date: November 16, 2020

Producer Humphrey revealed who our big celebrity guest is this Thursday! And some of you guessed it on our social media... We also played another round of Man Vs. Child where Jono took on a 9 year old in a quiz. We caught up with Jack Tame about his experience doing hotel quarantine, and how he even went in the White House! And Doggy Dan joined us again to ask your dog related questions, he's veeeery in tune with dogs and is an absolute expert. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Ah, that's me sucking down a fresh cup of joe. Couldn't be any more Auckland right now, drinking your flat white.

I called it a cup of joe. I know, but it's from that one No one knows it's a soy fat mocha latte Non-cafe Welcome to the podcast today You know what I did this morning Getting up early and coming into work I took my set of keys

And my wife's set of keys I don't know how I grabbed both sets of keys But somehow I managed to do it And I've got They look like nothing They don't look similar in any way I've been driving her car Anyway I've just you know I've got They look like nothing They don't look similar in any way I've been driving her car Anyway, I've just, you know

I've blown out I'm going to go home today and deal with that Deal with the fallout of that Yeah, no one ever likes it when someone's taking their keys And it's totally my fault I've got no excuse whatsoever Was there a part of you when you saw Because I saw you on the phone mid-show

And I could tell you were having a marital discussion Yeah Was there a part of you thinking Oh, I see I saw you on the phone mid-show, and I could tell you were having a marital discussion. Yeah. Was there a part of you thinking, oh, I see them, but I won't tell her I've got them? A little bit going, I can come home and I can hide them, because she'll be, and hide them under the bed and be like, oh, no. I found your key, oh, you left them in your, yeah. And then you would have turned into the hero because you found the keys. Oh, I should have, it's too late to do that.

See, I'm not quick enough in that moment. I just went, oh, oh, no. But you're right, I could have just bitten them. Oh, no, they're not here. The pocket you were wearing yesterday, I thought I checked that. She would have said, no, no, I'm not well enough. When I got home, I looked everywhere. Oh, mate, it took me hours.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right, I should have done that. I can't recreate it now. I can't, there's no. Well, call her back and go, actually, no, no. I don't. Oh, I thought I had your set of keys. I don't. It's just mine. Yeah. And then I'm like, but yours were at home. No, I thought I had your set of keys. I don't. No, you're not. It's just mine.

Yeah. But yours were at home. No, it's still going to work. And just tell her never to listen to this podcast as we hatch our evil plan. Anyway, I had a fun show this morning. It was really exciting. Spoke to Jack Tame, TVNZ broadcaster, journalist. He was over in the US for the election.

He's in quarantine at the moment in Hamilton, isn't he? And he was sort of discussing the details of quarantining and what it means and the process you go through. He actually phoned Paddy Gower, News Hub political correspondent as well, in the same phone call, who's also quarantining back from the US election. That's right. As well as that, we've got a massive celebrity joining us on the show on Thursday. We'll be trying to guess it for the last couple of days. We find out on the podcast who it is. Are you happy with the result?

I think it's pretty awesome. Yeah, that's a pretty good get. Would you rank it as one of your greatest interviews? I think for this show, it's great. Okay, taking the show aside for you. Oh, great. I mean, geez, famous. I love it, mate.

I'm a Kiwi, mate. I love talking. There's nothing I love more than talking to a famous person. And this person is super famous. And also, I'd love... There's nothing I love more than talking to a famous person. Oh, that's just a Kiwi. You're like, oh, yeah.

I love it more than my family. More than two sets of car keys. That's how much I love it. But I can't wait to talk to this person. We're going to be doing something special with this person as well over Zoom, which is pretty cool. So, yeah, I can't wait I tell you my wife

is going to be so jealous that we get to do this on Thursday alright we'll find out who that is in the podcast she won't be jealous of the fact that I've got two since car keys

maybe you can go home with the keys and go oh by the way guess who was on the show on Thursday have a great day the soggy cornflakes of radio

it's Jono and Ben on the hits now producer Humphries who works with us on the show he's booked a big celebrity guest, an international guest that we're talking to on

Thursday, and like we're in some sort of sore horror movie, he's making us go through some pointless challenges it seems. A lot of names have been bandied around, and he's just giving straight yes or no answers to questions. Here's how it played out yesterday. Is it a male?

No. Is it an international star? Yes. Do they name their initials AK? Are their initials KK or like Kim Kardashian? No. No other than Madonna. It's not Madonna. It's not Madonna. Good guess though.

This is really easy. It's Al McPherson. It's not Al McPherson. It's not Al McPh guess, though. This is really easy. It's Elle Macpherson. It's not Elle Macpherson. It's not. It's not Elle Macpherson. Is she known for her acting? Yes. Ooh! And apparently,

producer Huffrey says, if anyone guesses it correctly, you can win some high-end merch from this particular person. So, for example, if it was Donald Trump, you'd get a vat of fake tan. Or a Magna hat.

Or a Magna, yeah. Or Angelina Jolie, you'd get a vat of fake tan. Or a magna hat. A magna, yeah. Or Angelina Jolie, you'd get a free kid or two. All right, so something that relates to the person that you could win. I don't know who the person is, but if you want to get a guess for our guest to guest, next 0800 the hats, help us find out who it is. And as you said before, if you get it right, you could win some of the merch from the person, whoever that is. Okay, we'll get Producer Humphrey in next.

We'll quiz him, put one of those FBI lights in his eyes and shine it in his face. Now, on the text 4487, I'm just going to chuck these names out there. Beyonce. No. Meghan Markle. Oh. No.

That's a good guess, though. That's a good guess. That's a good guess, though. That's a good guess. That's a good guess from someone. Oprah Winfrey. No. Can I be disappointed? Who is this person? I might have built it up a bit much.

That's just regular. Oprah. Oprah. Jeebus. Okay, we'll go to the phones, shall we? Let's go to Kim in Turoa. Producer Humphrey awaiting a question with a yes or no answer. Is it Gwyneth Paltrow?

Oh, no. That's a really good guess because she's got the business, she's got merch, she's an actor. Yeah, you're right. Nice one, Kim. That's a really good guess. Yeah, guess the guests. Morris is on from Tauranga.

Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Morris, what's your question for Ben? Oh, hi there. Lady Stone Martha, so I've got another one. Hmm? Nicole Kidman? Ooh. Nicole Kidman.

Smart people listening to this show. Maybe she's giving away... Because you're winning some merch related to the person. Maybe it's Keith Urban that we get to win. Seeing her merch. Yeah, the country singer. Unfortunately, Morris, it's Keith Urban that we get to win. See who emerged. Yeah, the country singer. Unfortunately, Morris, it's not.

Okay. It's guest to guest. We've got someone huge, huge. Apparently. On Thursday, we'll go to Rachel in Tauranga. What do you reckon, Rach?

Rachel, you're on the air. Morena. Note here on the phone next to her says Dolly Parton, producer. Oh, right, because Dolly Parton's got a new book out, is that right? Yeah, yeah. No, it's not. Not Dolly Parton. She only works 9 to 5 as well.

I don't know if the international time zones will work out. We could get her in to wear a wheelchair, but this is at 9, you know? Dolly Parton, I'm sorry, mate. We could sneak her in at 8.59, get a cheeky minute with Dolly. So still, no one guessed correctly. Is anyone getting close? Are we in the same field? I feel like there was a couple of good guesses there in that round,

but we're still a wee way off. Can you tell us today? Look, if no one guesses it by ten past eight, I will let you know because you do need to do some prep. Okay. To 8.10 this morning, we'll find out who the big guest is. Guess the guest. You can text 4487 if you've got any ideas.

Producer Humphrey will reply on the text machine for you, and whoever guesses correctly gets some high-end merch related to this person. I can't wait to find out what this high-end merch is. It sounds like something you had to take back home from overseas or something, a bag you can't open or something. Remember to double pump the Virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Jack Tame, he's a TVNZ host and reporter.

He's just spent the last couple of weeks travelling around the States covering the US election. And now he's back home. He's, of course, in two weeks of quarantine. And we thought we'd catch up with him to find out what exactly happens when you're in quarantine. How's things going, Jack Tame? Gentlemen, very good, thank you.

How are you? I'm very good. And now you're in quarantine at the moment, I understand. Oh, the bright lights, big dreams. Here comes Hamilton. It's actually not that bad, eh? Well, I actually heard you. I feel like we're going to regurgitate some stuff

from your fine show on Newstalk ZB. But I found it really interesting. I even did one of those moments where you stopped the car and you stayed in the car listening because I found it really fascinating, all the stuff, the processes of going into quarantine. Oh, thank you. Yeah, it is.

Like, I don't think I had fully appreciated, like, the logistics for going into quarantine, which is a dumb thing to say, right? Because, like, we've been hearing about it for months. So you are a week into it, are you? Oh, no. I wish. No, today's day four.

Day four. Oh, yeah. Today's day four. Day four. Today's day four. I imagine you start talking to yourself at some point. Have you launched into that territory? I haven't completely lost my mind or anything this year. Although you can see you're allowed six beers or a bottle of wine a day. And so you can see how some people might end up getting a bit lit in their rooms, you know.

And you can have that at any time of day? Good question, actually. Yeah, I think so. I guess there's no rules, right? Start breakfast drinking, Jack. Talk it through. So you're on the plane, you land in New Zealand from USA, and then they tell you on the plane, right, where you're going?

Yeah, yeah. So everyone's like, ooh, where are we going to be? Where are we going to be? And I'd texted Paddy Gower because he'd come in a couple of days earlier than me. And he was like, oh, bro, half our plane went to the Millennium in Auckland and half went to the M Social. The M Social's super fancy, so everyone was stoked. And I was waiting for the good news. And then I see this police officer walk on board the plane,

right up the front, walks along the little air bridge thing, gets the microphone from the air hostess, and he's like, hi, everyone, you will be doing your managed quarantine time in Hamilton, and you just heard the whole plane go, oh.

And as you said, it's less about Hamilton, which is a wonderful city. Wonderful city, wonderful city, incredibly hospitable people, but it's more that after being on a plane for 13 hours,

you really don't feel like getting on a bus for 13 hours, you really don't feel like getting on a bus for another two, you know? Is Paddy Gower living it up in some five-star? Yeah, 100%. I'm pretty sure Paddy

has, like, ocean views and, like, he's in, like, the suite that Katy Perry stays in when she tours New Zealand, you know? Listen, we're going to

call Gower now. Oh, you're going to call? And we'll compare quarantines. Hopefully he'll answer. Hello? Paddy. Paddy Gower, it's Jono and Ben here from the Hits radio station. How's it going?

Oh, good, boys. Why do you sound so suspicious? Oh, block number and, you know, I wouldn't want to have a prank played on me like the one you played on Ben the other day where he thought he ran into Donald Trump. Fair enough. Well, guess what, Paddy? We have your counterpart, Jack Tame, on. He's in Hamilton in quarantine.

You're living it up in some lavish five-star penthouse suite. We were comparing quarantines. How are you finding quarantine, Paddy? Yeah, not bad. Not bad. I mean, obviously, I've been listening to you guys most mornings. Put it on and, you know, kick into it. And that's, you know, that helps waste some of the time.

And just sort of chill out. If there's a way to make quarantine more painful, it's listening to us. Is there anything you want to say to Jack? He can hear you. Hey, Jack, mate. Paddy, enjoy your foie gras, mate. Enjoy your daily Bollinger that gets dropped off in the... Yeah, that's his bottle of wine he's allowed to drink.

We'll be doing a fine on the trot. All right, see you, Paddy. He's going to have a bath in sparkling water right now, Paddy Gow. There we go. Oh, Paddy Gow. Just before we wrap up on quarantine, Jack, so I found it interesting as well that you can't obviously recycle because of, like, contamination,

as well as that also your washing. It was interesting about when you're allowed to wash your clothes. Yeah, so I just made a bad call and I should know better because I'm fortunate to have done plenty of traveling. And whenever you travel and you have an opportunity to do your washing, do your washing.

That's the best advice I can give you. So I was running on fumes by the time I got back to New Zealand. And then I was like, oh, that'll be all good. I did the washing on my first day in the hotel. And in my 86-page guide, they were like, you're not allowed to do washing until after you've passed your day three COVID test. Wow.

And so you get tested for COVID on day three, and it takes about a day to get the results. So I'm still waiting on mine. Hopefully it's okay. But then they can't do any laundry until then, because in case you've got COVID, they don't want to be trying to launder contaminated clothes. And so now you've resorted to turning clothes inside out now?

Oh, it's so grim. I'm doing the whole, like, doing the washing things in the basin and hanging them from my windows. And I'm on, like, an internal kind of courtyard-y room. So there are other people in quarantine whose view, their only view is off my room, and so I'm like hanging shit out my window. You almost said, from what I heard, someone get on the bus when you arrived in Hamilton, almost like a little bit of a pep talk,

trying to lift everyone's morale, was that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there were a couple of people who get on the bus. This guy, there's like Tainui Komatua, came on the bus, and he was like, Kia ora e te whanau, n mahaere mai, kia ora. And, you know, everyone was, you know, when you go to an event and there's an overly enthusiastic MC

and no one's really digging it. And the MC's like, is there anyone here from Auckland? And the audience is like, yeah. And he's like, come on, guys, I can't hear you. Is there anyone? So he was going, I want everyone to say kia ora on the count of three. One, two, three. And everyone was like, come on, guys. I can't hear you. Is there anyone? And he was going, I want everyone to say Kildare on the count of three. One, two, three. And everyone was like, Kildare.

And he's like, come on. Everyone say Kildare on the count of three. That's kind of cool that he did. I love the COVID hype man. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And everyone was like, Kodo, we've been on a plane for 14 hours. Everyone's exhausted. But it was actually really nice.

Jack, you went into the White House and everyone's exhausted. But it was actually really nice, eh? Jack, you went into the White House and had an interview. How did you score this exclusive? So I've known this Kiwi guy for many years who's got one of the most senior jobs in the White House. And actually, I went and saw him over in D.C. last year. So I went in and saw him in the West Wing last year and he gave me a big tour of the West Wing. He was very generous with his time then,

and we just keep in touch since. And I've always been bugging him for an interview, and he's always said, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. It was pretty amazing. On the day after the election, it looked like Biden was going to win, but Trump was already starting to tweet crazy stuff. I went into the White House then,

went into the Oval Office, like, just walked around. It was amazing. And House then, went into the Oval Office, like just walked around. It was amazing. And yeah, then a couple of days later had an interview in the Roosevelt Room, which is like the big, it's like the room you always see on the West Wing or you always see in those kind of famous photos

when they're, you know, having meetings about what country to invade or what do you think. How to recount votes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Wow. It was amazing. It was incredible because, you know. How to recount votes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Wow. It was amazing. It was incredible

because, you know, the West Wing's quite small. For people who, you know, you see it on TV a lot. You see the White House on TV and the White House has three areas. There's the area where the president lives, which is the East Wing.

There's the White House itself, which is the bit in the middle. That's where they kind of host banquets for foreign leaders and that sort of thing. And then there's the West Wing where the president's staff do all their work. But it's really small, like super small. And some of the most senior members of the White House just have incredibly crappy offices. Oh, really?

Like tiny little shoebox offices because it doesn't matter how good your office is, what matters in Washington, D.C. is proximity to the president. So you will take a hot water cupboard if it means that you're closer to the president. And the people who have the offices closest, honestly, they're tiny. It's ridiculous. We went inside the Oval Office, are you saying, as well? Yep. Yep.

Went inside the Oval Office. What's that like? What's up on the walls? What's up on the – is it photo frames? What's in there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like there are pictures of the president's favourite other presidents. There's a little sign saying absolutely no electronics to be brought in here whatsoever.

What was the mood like post-election inside the White House? Well, everyone was very professional when I was there. But they had, so remember in school how if you ever were going to watch a TV show, if you had like an English teacher who was slacking off and was there, but they had, so remember in school how if you ever were going to watch a TV show, if you had like an English teacher who was slacking off and was like, oh, today's class is we're going to watch an episode of The Simpsons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know how you kind of wheel in a TV and they have like a TV on a little trolley thing? Yeah.

So they all had those, but kind of fancier versions. And each of the TVs had the partition screen on so you could see four different screens. And they were like, oh, and they keep on joking. They keep on being like, we don't usually do work and we just want to see the results. So we're just watching how all of the different cable TV networks are reporting the results at the moment.

So Chris Liddell is the deputy chief of staff to Donald Trump. He's a New Zealander. Wow. Yeah, he's got an amazing background, regardless of what you think of him Staff to Donald Trump. He's a New Zealander. Wow. Yeah, he's got an amazing background, regardless of what you think of him working for Donald Trump. So he's from Matamata. When I say he's from Matamata, I mean, like, when he talks,

he sounds like someone from Matamata. He's not, like, super Americanised or anything. Yeah, he was a hit-a-cut old Harvey. He was, like, the director of the New Zealand Rugby Union and stuff. And then about 20 years ago, he went to the US and he got a job of a lifetime. He was the CFO, the Chief Financial Officer for Microsoft. Like, he had to do job interviews with Bill Gates.

He's one of Bill Gates' most senior advisors, you know, and senior executives. And then, yeah, he became good friends with a guy called Mitt Romney who ran for president in 2012 when he was involved with Romney's campaign and Romney lost to Obama then. But he kind of stayed in those circles and, yeah, when Donald Trump won the presidency,

they were like, oh, well, this guy has a really good experience in the private sector. He doesn't have any baggage or anything. He comes with a good reputation. And so they hired him. And we can understand at least 10% of what he's saying. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

It's pretty funny. I mean, like, you know, for a lot of Kiwis, and the feedback from my interview has been really interesting because, like, a lot of people just absolutely cannot understand, you know, or forgive him for ever working for Donald Trump. I mean, having that proximity to power, you could make an argument, I think, that Chris Liddell is certainly one of,

if not the most influential New Zealander in the world. Maybe even more so than the Prime Minister? Probably not. But he's constantly holding meetings with Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos. And, you know, he meets with Trump every day. And, you know, he's well aware that there are many New Zealanders who will never understand why he could work for Donald Trump. But, you know, he said to me that he thinks the goods

that he was able to do with Trump outweigh the controversy. And that's kind of a decision he made every day going back into the office. And like you say, regardless of who he's working for, to get that high and that far is a remarkable achievement for someone from Matamata. Yeah, I'll be frank. I don't think a New Zealander will ever have that position ever again. It's amazing to know where Kiwis, or to find out where Kiwis end up.

Yeah, yeah. He, you know, he's a, what, Mount Albert grammar. Then, you know, he followed a similar trajectory to you guys. He, you know, did a philosophy qualification in Oxford, you know. Yeah, that sort of stuff. We don't like to brag about ours. That's what keeps us on the down low. Yeah, we'll all end up at the hits one day.

Chris will come back here. Oh, Jack, hey, listen, well, thank you so much for your time, mate. Really do appreciate it. This has been really interesting. Yeah, very fascinating. Oh, no, my pleasure. Nice to chat. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast.

Actual lolls may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now tonight, TVNZ 2, it's the new reality TV show we're hosting with some incredible dogs down to the final nine, if you watched it last night, Dog Almighty, it's called. And joining us is the dog expert from the show, Doggy Dan. How you doing? I am on top of the world.

You look on top of the world, literally his background on Zoom. It looks like a world he's sitting on top of. Now, Doggy Dan, quickly becoming the most favourite part of this show. I know it's our boss Todd's favourite part of the show. He's loving it, eh? He's like more of Doggy Dan, less of you guys, is what he's saying. The amount of times we're on the radio, and the amount of times you're on the radio, you get far more compliments

than we do. Can I start with a question, Doggy Dan? I was walking my dog, Bo, in the weekend, and, you know, a male dog, and I'm just like, how much do they have in the tank? Because the dog is just like, he's raising his leg and, you know, he's peeing left, right and centre. I'm like, surely he's got no more pee left in him.

I mean, do the dogs have an extra sort of tank of stuff to sort of, you know? Have they got a backup bladder? Yeah. So, look, there is two different types of sort of, what do we call it? There's peeing when they need to go to the loo like we do. And then there's marking, which is kind of different because the marking, I guess one way of saying it, it sounds a bit mean, but marking is a bit more like doing some graffiti, you know,

putting your signature on the wall. And so when another dog smells that an area has been marked, what do they do? They try and mark over it or they back off? They're like, well, this belongs to some badass. Well, this is my kind of interpretation of what I understand. If you go back to the wolves, what the wolves will do is they will have a territory.

So if you go to Yellowstone National Park and you have a look at the wolves, they have an area and it's almost like they don't have the ability to put up a fence. But what they do have the ability to do is mark with their urine, this is the edge of our property. And so a lot of the wolves will kind of join in and they will do that, as I understand, they'll mark. But then there is almost the one-upmanship as well.

And I've heard, I don't know how true this is, but the higher up that the dog is able to mark signifies and suggests how tall and big the dog is. If you've got a dog question for Doggie Dan, I'll enter the Hetzel 4487 on the text and he'll answer them for you right now. Miranda, Doggie D is waiting for your question. Okay. So I have, my son has a black cat, and I have, my mum just died, and I've inherited an overweight Labrador. I did have two questions.

One was how do I get her to lose weight, but the cat's been sick, and now the dog's sneezing a little bit. When do I know when it's an issue okay so the the vet one is really is a vet question i don't like to stray into the veterinary health area it's not my area of expertise i like to try and be i would go off your gut instinct and if your dog maybe sneezes five or ten times in a day i'd be probably saying something not quite right it may just be that they have like a little bit of,

a tiny little leaf or some sort of hay thing, you know, up their nostril or something they can't get out, which is tickling them, but it could be more serious. So that's that side of things. Okay, five or six times. And how do you, with an overweight Labrador, what's your advice there?

So there's a couple of things. I mean, there are some great programs on the internet that you can actually get hold of, which will walk you through step by step. And again, this is moving a little bit into kind of not my area, but I do have quite some understanding of what you can do. At a very basic level, a lot of it is to do with calories in, calories out,

same as humans. So check the food that you're feeding your dog and make sure that it is maybe not, you know, calorie packed because some stuff really has got a lot of fat in it. And the other thing you can do is you can always, you know, there's ways of stretching the food out. For example, if you use a dry kibble or dry dog food, it is incredible how much the volume can swell by if you leave it soaking overnight it triples in size you can get something like maybe vegemite and water and mix up a bit of a broth or gravy pour that over the top suddenly she's got a huge bowl full of food but there's not actually that many calories in there it just takes taste night lots of vitamins nutrients so

you can swell the food and then also just extending the amount of walking she gets. Just walking, nothing too strenuous, that's all it is. And, of course, it's good for us as well. Hey, there we go. There we go. So you're mind-effing the dogs into thinking they're eating more. Smart play, Doggy Dan. I need to do that with my food.

Thank you very much. Appreciate that, Miranda. Let's go to – oh, is this Bree Thomasel? G'day, lad. Bree from ZM, the afternoon show, Clinton Bree. And I know you do have a brand new dog, Whitney. That's right. Whitney Houston's her name.

And being a diva's her name. Well, Doggy Dan can hear you, Bree. What's your question, matey? Doggy Dan, been watching the show, love your work. Oh, lovely. Look, she's 14 weeks old at the moment and she just loves to chew on my hands, my arms, my shoelaces, my shoes, everything. How do I stop that? So this is an age where, you know, a lot of people will recommend that you kind of let your dogs bite your fingers and then train them not to bite your fingers later on.

However, I've got quite a different approach, which is just don't teach your puppy to do something that you don't want them to do later on. For me, it's a bit like letting a child bite other children when they're kind of like one year old, and then at two year olds, you're telling them not to bite other children. It doesn't make sense. You know what I'm saying? Who's letting their two-year-old bite their two-year-olds you're telling them not to bite other children. It doesn't make sense. You know what I'm saying?

Who's letting their two-year-old bite their two-year-old? I raised quite a bitey child. I was like, you bite whatever you can, mate. Just one year, two years. Yeah, it just doesn't make any sense to me. So I would suggest at about 14 weeks of age, start redirecting. The key is to redirect the puppy onto something

like another toy a chew toy and and check the texture so the texture of the chew toy can make a huge difference in other words some you know you want a variety of textures because some puppies will want to chew hard plastic some puppies will want more of a rope texture some puppies may want more of a sort of um a rag or something like that so you want to have a whole array of different things that you can redirect your puppy onto and there are lots of tricks like you can smear a tiny bit of something smelly again i say vegemite just because it and just the tiniest bit and the dog's like the puppy will be interested in it you

redirect once twice three times and then here's the key bit. There's puppy in the background. Puppy's listening. So when your puppy bites you and says, no, I don't want to chew the rope toy, I want to bite your fingers, you have to stay very, very calm and quiet. And I would take puppy, lift puppy up and put puppy in the pen without a word. Or you could use timeout as long as it's safe, like a bathroom and just leave puppy there. How long time out for? Two, three minutes to start with. I mean, as the puppy gets older, you can do much longer. But just start small.

All you're doing is avoiding this kind of puppy bites and you shout, no, no, and the puppy bites you again and you go, no. Because what happens there is the energy just rises and it ends up with the puppy biting you and loving the fact that the puppy can make you scream. Gotcha. Gotcha. Makes sense.

Oh, there we go. She knows some stuff, doesn't she? Yeah. Lovely to hear from you, Bree. Lovely to hear from you, lad. Love the show. Keep up the good work. See you.

See you, mate. Keep it up. Theonlinedogtrainer.com if you want to go and visit Doggy Dan's website on how you can be the leader. Doggy Dan, thank you so much for your time. Very knowledgeable. I hope to catch up with you in a couple of weeks. And Dog Almighty back, 7.30, TVNZ2 tonight.

Next on the show. Great being here. Thanks, guys. Have a great day. Oh, sorry, mate. You're still going. Next time. You're still going.

No, he was just saying goodbye. That was all. Oh, no, you're still going. Shut everyone. It's time for me to talk. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're excited because on Thursday we're meant to be joined by an international guest,

and we don't know who the guest is. Yes, and producer Humphrey, Sir Peter Jackson, has dragged this one out like Lord of the Rings since Friday. It's been over three installments. It has been three instalments. The end of the trilogy hopefully nearing. You've been guessing on 0800, the hits on 4487 on the text. Names have been coming through all morning.

You're just giving yes or no answers, Producer Humphrey. Rachel Hunter. No. Another text. Kate Hudson. No. Melissa McCarthy. No.

Rebel Wilson. No. Victoria Beckham. No. Jennifer Lopez. No. No. No. No. No. Oh, really? Paris Hilton, another guest on social media?

Stormy Daniels? No. Stormy Daniels, the Donald Trump lady. Meryl Streep? No. Okay. A lot of names have been bandied around, but we do know it's a female. She's an actor.

And so it could be anyone, as long as they're from overseas and act. And are a female. That's right. Now, you reckon there's a few people that have guessed correctly? There has been, yeah. There's been a couple of texts come in this morning,

plus on social media, the name's been bandied about. Of course, if you do guess correctly, you win some high-end merch. Well, everyone now goes in the draw, right, to win everyone the correct guesses? High-end merch. Yes, all the correct guesses have gone in. Okay, Gavin, you're on.

Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Gavin, guess the guest. We're doing this with producer Humphrey. Who do you think it is? Oh, I reckon it could be Alan DeGeneres. Oh, Alan DeGeneres. Evil Alan. Good get.

I mean, great get to talk to Ellen. No. Oh, that would have been a great get. Yeah, it would have been. Ben would have made me eat my words then, wouldn't you? What do you want to say about this? What do you want to say about Ellen? It's a montage of you saying Evil Ellen for the past six months.

Let's never get Ellen on the show. Good on you, Gavin. I can do the interview then. Holly, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Guess the guests on Thursday. I can do the interview then. Holly, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Guess the guests on Thursday. I think it's Sarah Jessica Parker. The one

and only Sarah Jessica Parker. Is it Sarah Jessica Parker? Please welcome Sarah Jessica Parker. I'm Sarah Jessica Parker. Sarah Jessica Parker. Where'd you get those clues from? Six in the City, Sarah Jessica Parker. How'd you guess that, Holly?

Well, there were some pictures on social media of like a handbag and shoes that immediately made me think of her. Sarah Jessica, you've actually done some good producing. Carrie from Sex and the City, that's such an iconic show. She is. Yeah. Hey, guess what, Holly? You've got one of the bags.

One of Sarah Jessica Parker's bags. Oh, that's the merch. That is the merch. Oh, you haven't stolen a bag from Sarah Jessica Parker and given it away. She makes these bags. She makes these bags and they are beautiful. How the heck did you get Sarah Jessica Parker on the show? So, she has collaborated with New Zealand wine company Envivo.

Oh, right. I saw this. Yeah. Yeah. So, not only are saw this. Yeah. Yeah. So not only are you guys going to chat with her, but you're actually going to zoom into her New York apartment and have a wine with her. Oh, that's cool.

That's cool. An 8.30 in the morning wine. Don't pretend that you're worried about that. It's not my first time. Just put your beer down for five minutes. Going full breakfast club here now Holly

you get the high end merch you're a legend that would be awesome thank you how long have we got with Sarah Jessica Parker well you're actually lucky you've got half an hour

oh that's wow that's too much time yeah she probably won't spend that long with us but well that's great for us, though. That's awesome.

So Thursday morning, what time? 8 o'clock. 8 o'clock. Tune in. We've got Sarah Jessica Parker. We're having wines with Sarah Jessica Parker. You'll be listening, Holly? Yes, of course.

Sounds awesome. Oh, good on you. It would have been awkward if you were like, no, I hate your show. I only listen to win that bag. Have a great day, Holly. Oh, that's very exciting. Thursday morning, 8 o'clock,

Sarah Jessica Parker joins us, of course, from Sex and the City. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. A lot of discussion around the Bird of the Year Awards, which were announced. Was that yesterday the winner was announced,

the kākāpō, the wonderful green bear? Is the kākāpō or the kia that when you go to the forest, they jump on your car and peel out the rubber? I think it's the kia. Is it the kia? The cheeky kia. But the kākāpō getting fat shamed by CNN this morning, saying officially the world's heaviest parrot is one of the things.

Your dog got fat shamed and it doesn't feel nice, doesn't it? Yeah. When you've got an animal that you own that gets fat shamed. it doesn't feel nice doesn't it when you've got an animal that you own that gets fat shamed how's Bo's weight loss going I haven't taken him back haven't weighed him for a while

but we're walking you know we're walking every day I hope we're doing alright the vet was like oh he's a bit oh yeah and you're like

cutty cute he's like yeah a little bit like he needs to because he's so Bo's really fluffy obviously

yeah it's a samoyed it's a fluffy samoyed yeah I realise he needs to... Because he's so... Bo's really fluffy, obviously. Yeah, it's a samoyed. It's a fluffy samoyed, yeah. I realise he needs to shed a few kiwis. But hey, poor old Bo. He's happy. He's happy. He's always happy.

He's a chubby little happy thing. Love that guy. Love that guy. But yeah, the bird of the year. There was some controversy too this year with, you know, vote tampering apparently with the bird of the year. Someone was up for three hours

during the middle of the night putting votes in for the spotted kiwi, but they didn't think too hard about it because they sent it all from the same email address. They did that and they also voted for Joe Biden as well, I think. So there was a recount demanded. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, the kākāpō won out.

But I recorded two birds that are outside my house at the moment, and I'm not a bird expert. Right. What are you? I don't know. Why am I here? I don't even do this job properly. I'll find my thing one day.

But these two birds, they're on opposite trees on different sides of the road, and it seems to me like they're just having the same conversation over and over and over again. Have a listen. Hello, mate. It's like, hey, mate, I'm over here. Hi, mate, I'm still over here all day long. Wow.

Same conversation. It's like my grandparents who had Alzheimer's, just having the same conversation over and over again. You saw that? Yeah, I'm still over here all day long. Wow. Same conversation. It's like my grandparents who had Alzheimer's, just having the same conversation over and over again. Yeah, I'm still here. Oh, yeah. No, I'm still over there. I don't even know what sort of birds they are. Is one a tui?

I don't actually know. I feel like it sounds like a tui. Oh, listen, I don't know, mate. I don't know. What I was going to say, it's a very good observation from you. Like, I would not notice that. No, it's driving me crazy because it's all day. They don't stop.

All day. All day long. Play it again. Play it again. Yeah. I wonder what they're talking about. I don't know, but they're forgetting it immediately after. The Kakapo One Bird of the Year.

They're like, what? They're what? I feel like we're on a better radio station playing bird sounds in the morning, right? We should do that a bit more, shouldn't we? The Bird of the Day. No one's tapped into that market yet, have they? No, I don't think so. No, all right.

That'll be our thing. Okay, we'll do the bird sound of the day every day. We've got Jack Tamer joining us out of quarantine. I wonder what other things he's noticed. He's just sitting there with nothing to do, like bird sounds. And I've got things to do with my life. Exactly. That's a bleak reflection of what I think about

during the day. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. Now to a bulletin of made-up stories quoted by anonymous sources, which may or may not be true.

Here's Juliet with Spy. Thank you. So the cast and crew of The Matrix 4, including Keanu Reeves, so they have been filming in Germany, and Germany's got these specific lockdown rules still going on. I think no parties of over a certain number of people

and everything. Tell you what, the Germans, they'd be running that with precision, wouldn't they? Imagine their lockdown. There'd be no funny business in lockdown there. I know, they'd be running that with precision, wouldn't they? Imagine they're locked down. There'd be no funny business in lockdown there. I know, it'd be quite scary. You'd be like, oh, if I'm going to break the rules,

am I just going to get, is this going to be on my criminal record? But they, to wrap the film in the shooting of the film, they wanted to throw a party, as you probably do on a lot of movie and TV sets, but you couldn't, obviously, with COVID restrictions. So they disguised it as a scene that they were shooting, a party for the movie, to get around

the fact that they weren't allowed to have a party. But they then got found out, and they're still claiming, no, no, no, it was for a scene in the movie. Oh, so now I'm going to have to put that scene in the movie. It's drunken production in turns, woo, in the middle of The Matrix. That's an unusual scene in the middle of that Matrix. You're like, what is that unusual scene

in the middle of that? That's what I was thinking. Speeches too? I'd like to think, you know, Tanya, great work out there. Yeah, Tanya!

Yeah, Tanya! Give it up for Tanya! But isn't that genius, the little loopholes that people are finding to get around the restrictions? Yeah. I would probably...

Keanu doing like the limbo on the dance floor. It's going to be an unusual plot line to The Matrix. I always thought that like, you know that whenever you've got cameras around you, for whatever reason, it looks official and you can get away with anything. You could film a scene where you pretend you're doing a movie

but you're robbing a bank and everyone just thinks you're... Oh, you're walking on in. They're like, oh, they must be there. They must know what they're doing. They're part of the scene, I guess. Apart from the poor bank teller who's like... Who's like, I'm not in the scene. Why am I?

I haven't got the script. That's a really good point. You can just get away. We always used to do it with TV. Like, if you couldn't get into, like, an event you were trying to film in, you'd just walk and talk with the camera past security. Oh. And you'd get in.

So if you're ever struggling to get into a nightclub, Juju... Okay. Get a camera crew. Okay. Your heart crew. They're quite expensive, but yeah. Just walk and talk your way in. That sounds great.

I'll do that. I'll do that next time. Because no New Zealander wants to be on camera. No. So you know once you stop someone talking on camera that you're going to end up on camera, you know? Yeah, yeah. And Ed Sheeran, I think you might like this story, Jono,

because I keep on banging on about it. Well, kind of. So it said that his first demo album he made when he was 13 is going to be auctioned off. Oh, God. So it's auctioned off for the second time after a previous auction or after a previous copy made, I think, almost 100 grand. It sounds like Ed Sheeran's just auctioning everything off.

Is he okay? Yeah, it's quite a lot. No one tell him about Trade Me. Geez, he could be chucking everything up there, wouldn't he? Every second day there's a story about Ed Sheeran selling his socks from when he was a kid and he used to play soccer. Maybe it's like my mum did that. She came down a while ago and bought me a box of stuff to clear out.

Maybe Ed Sheeran's like, oh, what do I do with this? His parents have come over to his giant mansion and gone, here's all your stuff for your child. And he's like, oh, I'm just auctioning off the charity. That becomes the big tension point between children and their, or between kids and their parents. Yeah. Is when you grow into an adult, the olds,

they want to lump all your stuff back on you. And I'm like, I don't want my 1B5 English yearbook from when I was 13 years old. That's what my mum did. I told you about this before. She brought down two boxes full of stuff. She's like, you need to sort this out. This is yours.

And I looked at it, looked at it, and I was like, I don't need any of it. And she's like, oh, you can't throw that out. Put it back in the car and took it back home. You should auction it off, Ben Boyce. No one wants my crappy English essays and stuff. Well, you never know when you want to look back on your fifth form geography workbook as a fully grown adult.

At what point in my life am I going to have time to do that? Even when I'm nearly dead, I'm going to be like, no, no, I've got other fun stuff I want to do. There's the internet now, right? Yeah, so anyway, that's what you've got to look forward to, Ju. Your parents haven't done going to be like, no, no, I've got other fun stuff I want to do. There's the internet now, right? Yeah. Exactly. So anyway, that's what you've got to look forward to, Ju. Your parents haven't done that to you yet, have they? No, but they've got a whole storage cupboard full of everything that I'm just waiting for them just to...

It'll happen. Yeah. It'll happen. I know. And Christmas decorations. Annie with her Christmas decorations, my mum. Oh, your mum loves that. And that's Spy for War.

You can check out the hit stock on NZ. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, this week, the NCEA exams are happening all over New Zealand for school students. So all the best if you're sitting here. Exams are a very nerve-wracking time, isn't it? Well, today, what's on today? Oh, here we go.

Media studies at 9.30 this morning. Earth and space, science, drama, chemistry, classical studies. In all seriousness, how do you think we would go working in the media, doing the media studies exam? Shockingly. But this is the problem. This is what media does in general. They're like, oh, it's such a high and mighty medium

and you need to do, oh, there's a good study at the university. And you get here and you're like, everyone is just making this up as we go along. Honestly, you look at management, you're like, hey, that's not good. That's not right management. You look at management, you're like, yeah, just... Hey, that's not good. That's not right management. You look at management and you think, what a great job they are doing. They are the only ones that know what they're doing.

The rest of us wasn't for management. That's exactly what I was thinking. That's what you've got to say, right? Yeah. Yeah. But we all just... No, not management. Not management.

Don't do management, mate. Sorry, but you know everyone's just making it up. Not management. Okay, not management. Off air that we can. Don't do management, mate. Sorry, but you know everyone's just making it up. Not management. Okay, not management. Off air that we can talk about. Okay, yeah.

On air. First rule of media studies, don't talk on air about management. And how they're making it up as they go along. That's how you'd fail. So what we're doing

this week is a wee game putting Jono against the kid. Man versus child. Now yesterday I have some issues. The feedback I received from the public on the street, the street talk was... Are you making this up, like management?

No, no. This is official feedback. Yeah. That you made me look like a fool. You made me look like a fool. I gave you the kids' questions. Yeah, I know, because I've complained in the past that it's swayed towards the kids winning.

So you gave me the easy kids' questions, but then you gave the answers to the 12-year-old girl. I gave the, no, no, that's just very, it was a smart kid. It was a smart kid yesterday. So today, no. If this happens again, I cease this segment. Well, what would you like?

Would you like the easy kids questions to feel smarter? Would you like the hard? I'd like the easy kids questions. Oh, you don't want the adult questions? Or the older questions? Okay. Let's welcome to the show, Olivia. Welcome from Rag questions. Oh, you don't want the adult questions? Or the older questions? Okay. Let's welcome to the show, Olivia. Welcome from Raglan.

How are you? Good. Nine years old. Yeah. Nine years old. Yeah. Not a great start when you're having to double check that. Yeah.

Nine years old. And listen, I have no qualms about destroying a nine year old in a quiz. Okay, alright. So you want the easy question, Jono? Okay, Jono, we're going to start with media studies. Spell media for me. M-E-D-I-A. What? M-E-D-I-A. Yeah, well done. I nearly didn't

spell it. I know. Probably had a stroke mid-word. Okay, Olivia, okay, here's the tougher question. Sorry about this. Please demonstrate for me an understanding of the rules that govern the media in New Zealand. The Advertising Code of Practice provides rules for advertisers. All media should comply with these codes.

However, if a member of the public religion advertisement has breached one or more of these codes, they may complain to the advertising standards. Thank you. Complaint court. Yep. The complaint is heard by the ASCC. Okay, Olivia.

I'm going to stop you here, Olivia. Give it to Olivia. Olivia. Now, you can answer honestly, darling. No, no, but don't. Are you? No, no, no, no. Are you reading?

I'm patronising with darling. Mate, she's a smart cookie. Are you reading a piece'm patronising with... Mate, she's a smart cookie. Are you reading a piece of information that Ben sent to you? Okay, next question. That's not one of the questions, Olivia. That's not a question you have to answer. No, interesting. Okay, your next exam, Jono.

Earth and space science is what's happening today. Jono, can you refrain from smiling? Can you mention, when you give me the answer to this one, what is the ice planet which is nearly four times larger than Earth? What is that planet? It's Uranus. Thank you. Thank you for not smiling and giving me the correct answer there.

Thank you. Okay, Olivia, your Earth and space science question. Does the influence of gravity extend out forever? Good question. No. Okay. What was that? The attractive force called gravity does not extend beyond galaxy groups.

If you look at this, it's not. Stop it. Pull pin, Olivia. I'm ending this madness. Everyone knows what's happening. The whole team's against me. Character defamation. An attack on my character.

Olivia's still reading. She's sticking to the script. And granted, well done. You were dragged into this, Olivia. Your collateral damage. It's not your fault. I'm not pinning this on you. Hey, Olivia, you're a great sport.

We're going to send you out to beat the parents board game from Planet Fun and some hell pizza vouchers, all right? Thank you. Just out of interest, what was your answer to the chemistry question? Chemistry is a scientific discipline involved. Yeah, no, thought as much. There we go. Okay, wrapping this up now, Olivia. Thank you

very much. Enjoy your day in Raglan. We are not doing man versus child again. Oh, mate, sore loser. And good luck for everyone sitting the NCEA exams this week. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them, they're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono and Ben

with Razene, taking the guesswork out of choosing colours. This is an awesome prize up for grabs. We're giving someone a chance to pop open two Resene tins of colour paint to reveal a prize. We're going to give you a $500 Resene voucher straight off the bat, and if you match the two paint tins,

the colours correctly, you'll get an extra prize from Resene. It's like a game of memory, isn't it? Here's what happened yesterday on the programme. Number two and seven. Two and seven. All right, Jono's down there. He's going to open up number two.

No, this is the grey. Okay, seven. Is this another grey? Shark grey. Is it a shark grey? We're popping the tins. Oh, no! It was the scrumptious pink.

So number two was shark grey. Number seven was scrumptious pink. So number two was Shark Grey. Number seven was scrumptious pink. Trying to remember that. Like you say, it's like a game of memory. And if you match up the two colours, you can win some great prizes. We've got things like bungee jumping, skydiving, vouchers to your favourite restaurant, barbecue as well. There's all some great stuff from Resene right now.

Now, before we even get started, Leanne, you know what we have to tell you? What? You've already won a $500 Resene right now. Now, before we even get started, Leanne, you know what we have to tell you? What? You've already won a $500 Resene voucher. Oh, that's amazing. That's pretty awesome. No one walks away from here a loser, apart from Ben and me at 901.

Every day, every day. All right, now, thanks, Resene. We'll give you a chance to open a couple of paint tin cans in the studio. What number do you want to go with first? What number do they go up to? One to ten there, Leanne. One to ten.

Okay, I'll do eight. You're going to do eight. You're going to pop eight. Now, to describe it, we've got like a drop sheet down in the studio and the ten paint tins spread out. It looks like we're about to start renovating but have been procrastinating for five days. It does.

So we've got ten paint tin cans from Razine down in... So I'm going to open this. Now, Ben, you'll have to name the colour for me when I pop her open. Okay. Tin goes open number 10. What have we got here?

Sorry, you didn't realise how unhandy I was. I can't even remember tin. That's a yellow. It's a yellow. Okay, we've got I Dare You Yellow. All right, so that's, if you match this one up,

you get a New Zealand adventure experience, a bungee jump or a ski dive. What's your next number you want to open up? I'll try two. Number two. Okay. This was popped open yesterday. Oh, it was, wasn't it?

You can change. I haven't opened it yet. The tin is yet to be opened, mainly because I'm so bad I can't open it quickly. Okay, we'll do six. Six. Okay. Okay, number six.

If this matches with yellow, you could be winning the bungee jumping experience. Oh, it's a shark grey number six. Oh! The shark greys come up. I tell you what, risky having open paint tins in this studio full of expensive equipment,

but doesn't matter for you, Leanne. You've got Max. Are you filming me this whole time with that phone, are you? Is that professional or personal? Personal, mate. Oh, is it personal? Yeah, good. He's a specific, a fumbly guy trying to open paint tins with headphones on.

Leanne, unfortunately, no extra prize, but you got the $500 Resene voucher and it's back tomorrow, okay? Awesome, thanks, guys. I think someone else tomorrow, if they're smart, will be taking home the Shark Grey prize pack, which is a Shark Tank experience from Kelly Tartans. And it's all thanks to Resene. Bring out the best in your home

with a huge range of colours and wallpapers from Resene Colour Shops. There's a lot going on when that happens, isn't there? Paintings and talking and concentrating on paint colours. Too much. Too much. Someone said too much. Morning! It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. Scrolling through your page. Alright, he's the Simon

Dallow of 6am news bulletins. Ben Boyce, what's been happening overnight? Taika? Yeah, Dallow's got the 6pm, I've got the 6am. Who's to say what's a better time slot? Well, Dallow is. He's a better time slot? Odella. He's in prime time. You're right.

No one's listening to this. As we just said before, masks are going to be made compulsory on Auckland public transport and flights around the country. From Thursday, it's going to be a legal requirement, but also causing a little bit of talk is the fact that by Christmas,

the government could be tracking smartphones, which I think kind of makes sense, right? Uh-oh, get out your monofoil hats. They'll be coming. Oh, what's his name? Advanced New Zealand. Billy TK Jr. Jamie Lee Ross. They'll be marching up a storm. Yeah, the people that

didn't like 5G won't like this. But you're like saying to us when we were just chatting about this before the show, it feels like they could already track you anyway if you've got a smartphone. Oh, yeah. Have you got a phone? You're traceable. Can't you put ones on your partner's phone that they don't know that is on there

and you can trace them if you don't trust them? Oh, really? Yeah, I was reading an article the other day that people who are a bit suspicious of their partner's whereabouts can put this app on. What's the legalities of that? I don't know. That's a very good question. I mean, but if you're doing something

and you get caught, you're like, you never told me you were tracking me. I wouldn't have gone to those places if I knew you were tracking me. I would have got a bird of phone or something. Yeah, but you would assume in 2020 that if you've got a smartphone

that if they want to get you, they can get you. If they want to know where you've gone to, they can investigate, surely. But I mean, yeah, I don't know why the Labour government wants to know why I went to Burger King and ate 300 burgers in the car park last night.

I think that's everyone's main fear if they get, you know, COVID is the fact that all your details of where you went get spread all over. That's the embarrassing part. What's the most embarrassing location you've been to in the last three days that you wouldn't want the public to know about? Probably the Hits Breakfast with John Oldman.

I turn up here daily. I'm part of the show. This cannot be made public. And as well as that, the bird of the year. Every year, it's the same birds. We never get any new birds. But it seems like it's such a big deal. And this, I was looking on CNN

international news website this morning. They even aren't publicised about the New Zealand's bird of the year. was looking on CNN international news website this morning. They even publicised about New Zealand's Bird of the Year. So it's making international news mainly because there was a voter fraud scandal. Remember someone in the middle of the night tried to put on... They wasted two hours of their life voting for the spotted kiwi, wasn't it, from memory?

Yeah, it was. You're right. Spotted kiwi's adorable too, but it looks quite... You know, if you're walking through the forest, you'd accidentally kick it or something. It would roll over and roll down a bank. But it was the kākāpō that won our Bird of the Year this year, so congratulations. But hasn't it won like... It's won before, so it's the first time that our bird has won twice.

Why does it change though? Why does our favourite bird change? I don't know why we're like, last year, ah mate, we don't care about you anymore. We're on to this one. And it's, you know, the birds don't know they've won. The birds have no idea they've won the birds have no idea they've won this competition it means nothing

to the birds yeah I would say if anything the bird of the year should be chicken you know I mean mate you know like we eat it

oh yeah you know you deep fry it or it's a quarter pack or whether it comes in a roast I mean every year chicken for me

would be the bird of the year well I think we should be the bird of the year. Well, I think we should taste the bird of the year. That's what we should judge it on. What's the tastiest? Has anyone tried a Kia or a Kakapo? Well, no, they're protected. Yeah, no, I'm not going there. And that is scrolling to your

feed this morning. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. The A to Z of New Zealand. That song's a real get up and go, is it? It is. I'm on the edge.

Yeah, it makes you feel good about it. Be good if you're driving into work or something. Yeah, motivates you. Tell us then. No, it motivates me to do the A to Z

of New Zealand right now. There's a segue I tried to do. Didn't quite work, eh? But we're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We call one a day. It's going to take us over two years to call every town and city in New Zealand. Yeah, and as the great philosopher Tupac once said,

Inglewood, always up to no good. But I can find nothing but good intel on Inglewood in the Taranaki region of New Zealand. You can stop off at Inglewood before you venture into the Egmont National Park. It's a great place apparently to pick up provisions and ask about hiking safety. Their wildlife park is much like Ben's approach

to workplace relations. Hands on. You can pat possums, llamas, rabbits, pigs, any hairy beast you can think of you can pet it. Or if you prefer a hands-off wildlife park, then Englewood is not the place for you. But we're going to go through to the local bookshop, which we did yesterday. Englewood Bookstore, Lorraine speaking.

Hi, Lorraine, how are you? Good, thank you. John Owen Ben from the Hits radio station. Oh, right. Oh, right. Listen, that did not sound positive, Lorraine. That's not a reaction that we were after. Oh, I didn't mean it like that. Yeah, no, but your true and honest feelings came out,

like when you've had six drinks. They just came out just then, and that's all right. We'll plough on through. Right. So we're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We call one a day, and today, Inglewood's turn. Oh, nice. Yeah, so we'd like to learn about the place. We call one a day, and today, Inglewood's turn. Oh, nice. Yeah, so we'd like to learn about the place.

We just called your number at random. Aha. The book centre. Yeah. Can you judge a book by its cover? Because they say not to, but sometimes when I'm in the bookstore, I'm like, that book looks good by the cover. Yeah, yeah.

Well, surely that's what you should do is judge a book. That's actually why I judge a book by its cover. Yeah, and you read the back of the cover. It's still part of the cover. You're right. You're doing all the book by its cover. Yeah, and you read the back of the cover. It's still part of the cover. You're right. You're doing all the judging by its cover, aren't you? Let's talk about Inglewood. What's there to do in Inglewood?

What is there to do in Inglewood? Oh, you can do whatever you want to do. Does that mean, does your reaction insinuate that there's nothing to do in Inglewood? No, there's lots to do in Inglewood. You can go shopping. Oh, good, at the bookstore? At the bookstore. What else is there to do in Inglewood? No, there's lots to do in Inglewood. You can go shopping. Oh, good, at the bookstore? At the bookstore. What else is there to do in Inglewood, ladies?

Go shopping at the bookstore. Go shopping at the bookstore. All my customers are saying to go shopping at the bookstore. That's exactly what they're doing right now. And is there any tourist attractions? Any tourist attractions? There's the Funho Museum, the original Funho toys.

Okay. You sound quite distracted right now. Yeah, I'm distracted right now because I've got customers. You've got customers, yeah. And I'm the only one that works here. Oh. I do everything. How many customers in the store? Two.

Can we do a little market research? Okay. Ask them if their favourite radio show is Jono and Ben on the hits. What do you think of the hits, Jono and Ben? I don't listen to them. Oh, okay, okay. If we talk more about books, would they tune in more? No, they're too busy looking.

No, okay, okay. They're too busy looking. That was a brutally honest response. That was good. And I appreciate you going, oh, okay, okay. Okay, so Englewood, we... And we've got the mountains, so you can go for a check up the mountains. You can go to the beach.

The beach isn't too far away. Oh, you've got lots going on, haven't you? Yeah. Well, Englewood, I tell you what, if anything, it has a wonderful bookstore. Oh, thank you. Now, Lorraine, I've tried to... You need to come and visit. I've tried to resist saying this through the whole conversation, Lorraine,

but do people ever go sing Adele and set fire to Lorraine? Do they ever say that with your name or not? No. Okay, just me. No. I set fire to Lorraine. What did Lorraine do? Oh, you know, don't you go out in Lorraine.

You know, there's two songs. Oh, yeah. You've had that one? Okay, right. Okay, just market research. Okay, good to know. Hey, good on you, Lorraine. Okay.

You're an absolute superstar. So are you guys. You look after, well, not according to your audience. You're going to have a wonderful day. Okay. More painful than your alarm clock It's Jono and Ben on the hits Synchronise Odds

It's a wee game we play Where producer Juliet asks Jono and myself a question We have three seconds to come up with an answer to that question And if we synchronise our answers Say the same thing at the same time We take the prize off the listener Yeah, we try and sync up like a disgustingly cute couple who finish each other's sentences.

We're going to welcome from Lower Hutt, Steve. How's the Hutt this morning, Steve? How's it going? We're doing very well, thank you very much. You're on your way to work, are you? Sadly, yeah. What do you do for a job, Steve? I'm a project manager.

Oh, right. Quite vague. I don't know what projects you... Yeah, we keep it like that. Yeah, keep it vague. School projects, any projects. But I admire people who project manage. I mean, there's a lot of plate spinning, I imagine, Steve.

Yeah, 100%, 100%, pulling the truth. Yeah, a lot of people management. I wouldn't be good at managing people. Would you, Ben? Oh, you can manage people. You do all right, don't you? I've got a little bit of support for the producing stuff,

but you know. I'm just not good at the organisational stuff. I'm a sheep. Put me in with the flock. I'll just go where people tell me. Anyway, Juliet's going to throw out a category. We need to sync up our answers to steal the hell pizza off you, Steve.

All right, your first category is name for me an ocean sport. Diving. Okay, wakeboarding, diving. You've still got that pizza in your mouth, Steve. You can project manage that into your system. Well, so far, two more questions to go, though. Name for me one of Santa's reindeer.

Blitzen. Oh, yes! We did it, Steve! Oh, my dinner, how are you going to manage your way out of this one? What? I wasn't even looking at you in the eyes. No, neither was I. No, that was pretty good because I thought, no, he won't go Rudolph

because it's too obvious. Rudolph's the obvious one. because I thought, no, he won't go Rudolph because it's too obvious. Rudolph's the obvious one. So I thought we'll go a few back. We'll go a few reindeer. The ones sitting on the benches. Listen, Steve, we love you, mate. Okay? You mean a lot to the show, Steve.

Oh, God, he sounds like a drunk uncle. I love your heart, the way you approach life. And you know what's going to happen here? You're going to get the pizza anyway. Oh, brilliant. Does it render this whole topic? Well, it does when you talk about it on the radio like that. We could go, oh, sorry, Steve, you didn't win.

And then off you go behind the scenes. Well, let's do that. Sorry, Steve. Thanks so much for playing. But unfortunately, you didn't win the Hell Pizza voucher. Can't all be winners. No, you can't win the Hell Pizza voucher. Can't all be winners? No, you can't get the new Silencer of the Lambs pizza they've got right now,

the free-range ingredients, plant-based, vegetarian. No, that won't be happening, Steve. You won't be getting any of that stuff. Oh, he's hung up. He's so angry. He's irate. There we go. Not a morning person?

Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Three seconds to find one. That is it. It's Jono and Ben, the hits. Three seconds to find one. That is it. It's Jono and Ben 6.37. What's three seconds to find one?

Oh, it's a classic thing that we always do to producer Juliet when the song's just finishing. We're like, hey, can you get that bit of audio? Literally five seconds.

She's like, what? Well, you sat there and didn't say anything while the whole song was playing but right at the end you're like, can you get this bit for the next thing?

It's a sick and twisted game we like to play with Juliet but you always come through. That's the problem. I think I might have found it. So we'll just run the gauntlet. You make a rod for your own back there, Juju. Now, we're talking to our dear friends at Sister Station,

affiliate station here at NZME, Radio Hauraki, Matthew Heath and Jeremy Wells. Matthew Heath. You might be familiar with their programme. They do have a great programme, don't they? They do. And we're just sitting there chatting. We just. Yeah, they do have great programmes, aren't they? They do. Very funny. And we're just sitting there chatting.

We just talked a lot of rubbish with their muse today, didn't we? And we saw for their podcast or something we were doing. Yeah, so we had a bit of a chat. It was like a good 30-minute chat. It was. Yeah, it was the most time we've spent talking. Yeah, I did talk to them. But there were microphones in front of our face.

Anyway, we got talking about a commercial that, well, because Ben has a rich history of commercial writing. That's how you got your start in broadcasting. Yeah, I started in radio writing ads. You know, the annoying things that interrupt your songs and the other annoying things that radio announcers talking. Well, I wrote some ads for a while. Yeah, you got a rich history with glass-based commercial,

glass repair-based commercial. Yeah. You wrote the jingle to Show Us Your Crack. Show us your crack, crack, crack, crack, crack. It was a bit of a remix version there. Oh, yeah, I heard that one. I didn't write the remix. Kygo has jumped on the remix.

Kygo did Tina Turner remix and now doing the Show Us Your Crack one. Ah, I noticed. That was me at the end, yeah. And this led on to a competing glass commercial, which is if you're outside of Auckland you probably haven't heard this. It's a company called Auckland Glass. Now I didn't write this ad but I wish I did because

it's a very memorable ad right? It's extreme. If you've heard it once you go I know exactly the ad you're talking about. Yeah and a game that we just started playing but it was quite fun to play. Between the announcer saying Auckland Glass there's a gap isn't there We just started playing, but it was quite fun to play. Between the announcer saying, Auckland, glass, there's a gap, isn't there?

And there's the glass smashing sound effect. And for some reason, there's an unnecessary dramatic pause between him finishing and the glass sound effect playing. You never know when it's going to come in, the glass shattering sound. It feels like it tricks you every time you listen to it, right? It's like when a beat drops at Bay Dreams for you, Julie, and you never know when it's coming.

Wait for it, wait for it. There it is. So here's a game where it's like, guess when the glass sound effect is going to play. Auckland glass. Oh, see? It just goes on for one or two seconds too long. Yeah, and even when you listen to it again,

listen to it again, you'll still try, you'll pick it, you'll go, oh, here it comes, but even when you listen to it again, listen to it again, you'll still try and you'll pick it. You'll go, oh, here it comes. But no, you'll get it wrong. Auckland Glass. Now. No. See?

You can't get it. Let's have a go. What was the timing of that ad? Like, what did they, you know, how did they do it? I like to think about the behind the scenes. They were like, well, we wrote an ad, not quite long enough. Maybe we'll just space things out. Oh, you know, what was the backstory behind it? Because the read's quite slow as well auckland glass when you need a glass repair call

maybe the guy voiced it was the guy they really wanted for the ad and then he went home and then the studio engineers oh god this is not long enough we're gonna have to space out every bits of his words okay so in your car in in your office, at home, whatever, around the breakfast table, let's see if you can guess when this glass sound effect is going to hit. Auckland glass. Now. Now.

Oh, Julian got it. Well done. Well, that's a fun little game that you can play with the family, a game the whole family can play, is when is the Nox's glass sound effect going to come in? Lots of fun. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the family. A game the whole family can play is when is the obnoxious glass sound effect going to come in? Lots of fun. Like starting your day without your morning coffee.

It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy the WhatsApp spy.co.nz Alright, here's a three minute update of us going all in on Evil Ellen DeGeneres or Megan Markle for absolutely no reason.

Ellen won an award yesterday. Ellen, I know she got People's Choice Award. She's our daytime talk show host of the year. Evil Ellen. Best daytime talk show host of the year. Evil Ellen. Best daytime talk show host. She came out and she dedicated to staff, thanked her staff.

Oh, well done. Well done, Ellen. Just the most evil daytime talk host. But well done, Ellen. You're the nice one of the show, Ben. I can't help but feel that award was what? You know. What? Manufactured. What? Listen, I wouldn't put

it past Evil Ellen to create an award ceremony just so she could give herself an award. Oh God. I agree with you. Anyway, we're not going to go all in on Evil Ellen here. So, Benny. We're just going to go half in. Half, yes. So, Benny, on more positive news,

she won four Tui Awards at the Aotearoa Music Awards on Sunday, but she was asked where she was going to put her awards because now she's on the rise, she's probably just going to keep winning awards, and she says she wants to put them in her bathroom. And I was kind of like, why would you put them in your bathroom? But then she made a very valid point,

which I kind of agree with, that you're sitting down, so you may as well stare at something and you may as well stare at a lovely award. Oh, so she's got a sort of a bathroom with a toilet inside the bathroom, same room situation. Must do. Yeah, right. Interesting place to leave them. I know your grandparents had a carpeted bathroom, didn't they? And a full bookcase. A full bookcase of books in there, right? Yeah. So you can just read while you're grandparents, so you had a carpeted bathroom, didn't you? I had a full bookcase, full bookcase. Really? Full bookcase of books in there, right?

Yeah. So you can just read while you're doing your business. Yeah, because some people would put magazines and stuff. They had a full bookcase right in front of you. But even if you're like, oh, this book is interesting, I never wanted to take that book away with me. Yeah, well, hugely contaminated bookcase, isn't it? Yeah, but yeah, and as you said before, carpeted floors, lovely touch. There was an era in the 60s and 70s throughout New Zealand when you carpeted your bathroom.

Risky move with guys, knowing guys and their aim. Just imagine the horrendous things that have happened to that carpet. And wouldn't mould grow quite easily in carpet on a bathroom? It's not a great idea, right? Yeah, no, I'm glad that went out of fashion. Yeah, and it always felt like when you walked on it in bare feet, you're like, what's going on here? What's happened to this carpet?

And ex-President Obama, you could say, he's recently done an interview, and everyone's always like, bring back Obama, bring back Obama, because he was a good president. But he says he has no intention to return to the White House, and this was the reason why. I'm not planning to suddenly work on the White House staff or something. No cabinet position for you, Mr President?

There are probably some things I would not be doing because Michelle would leave me. She'd be like, what? You're doing what? Purely because Michelle has had enough of politics. Oh, well, I don't blame her. Don't blame him. Eight years of his life as president, that's not even factoring in all his years previous to that as a senator,

which I imagine were long days and seven days a week situations. It'd be pretty much 24 hours a day, seven days a week, that job, right? Yeah, for sure. You don't want to look backwards. I mean, Ben's not going to go back to the bloody edge.

You're the rock. You're Ford's. Hey, mate, they'll get rid of me here. They know who knows. The option's open, mate. But I'm happy here. But you don't want to rule out anything, mate. Any one of his 40 radio stations he's worked for in the last two years.

Mate, you've seen us jump around heaps, you know. I know. Never say no. Okay, all right. So what? We are saying we'll go back? No, I just say don't say no. Never say never.

But say you're enjoying your time presently. This is where I want to stay right now. But you never know what the future holds. Yeah. But I'm happy right now. Good. Well done on hedging those bets. And that's fine.

Assuming that radio is still going to be a thing in 10 years. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Yeah, give us a call right now and tell us why today's going to be a good day. Are we under the hits? Give us a call. Now, I just witnessed you have quite an amusing conversation, but I haven't been able to ask you what was going on.

You were hunting around your bag going, oh, yep, no, sorry, I do. And what happened on the other end? So why it's not going to be a good day for my wife in particular, because when I came to work this morning to get here at five, I've got my set of car keys and her set of car keys. How did you end up with both sets? I don't know. She's like, have you got my set of keys?

Because, you know, when you're in that frantic panic, when you're like... You just grab stuff. Yeah, well, for me and also for her going around going, where's my keys? Where's my keys? I'm late for work. Yeah, well, I've got both sets of keys.

I don't know how, but I've got both sets of keys. And there would have been at least 20 to 30 minutes of searching before the phone call. She would have been like, he wouldn't know. No, I know him. I'm married to him. He definitely wouldn't know. I'm normally pretty good with stuff like that,

but today I've taken both sets of keys. So what's the end result? How's your wife getting to school today for teaching? Kids have no teacher. I'm guessing an Uber sort of might be a good option today. I'm guessing, yeah, it might be an Uber. She loves it, loves it, loves it. What does she love it?

Can we get her on the phone? She'll be teaching right now. No, she won't. It's not nine o'clock. No, mate, she'll be teaching. Ten to nine. No, no, just get her on the phone. I'll get her on the phone next.

I think, is it Amanda from Auckland with us on 0800? It's Amanda. Why is it going to be a good day for you? I don't know. It's not going to be a good day for me because somebody, Ben, took the keys so I couldn't lock the door and then I couldn't drive the car to work and then I had to get it over and then I'm waiting and there's just the kids waiting for me and I'm like, I don't want to go to the bathroom.

I was just the same Ben who just moments ago admitted to taking your keys to work and his keys. I've got two sets of keys right here. I'm so sorry. Oh, well, there we go. Don't talk to my boss. She's standing right here. Let's not make it too awkward. Let's not make it an employment situation. Thank you, Amanda.

Hopefully your day gets better from here on and while I've got multiple car keys and house keys. Thank you very much. I'll tell you what is locked, my friend. I don't know. I thought I had something there, and then I had nothing. But let's go to the phones. Brett, you're on from Bay of Plenty.

Why is it going to be a good day? Brady. Oh, Brett's gone. He said there's a note here saying hopefully he's going to get offered a great job this afternoon. So Brady. Oh, Brett's gone. He said, there's a note here saying, hopefully he's going to get off at a great job this afternoon. So good luck there,

Brett. And Hui is on the air from New Plymouth. How are you, Hui? I tell you what, that was a great lesson in vetting calls,

wasn't it? Oh, geez. Oh, good, oh, good. This is the first time

I rang to this. Oh, well, nice to talk to you. Why is it going to be a good day? Because I'm getting really excited for my graduation rang to this. Oh, well, nice to talk to you. Why is it going to be a good day? Because I'm getting really excited for my graduation. It happened on Thursday. Oh, so what are you graduating in there?

Who are you? I did my master's training for my early childhood education. Oh, you legend. Will you go and look after those early children? Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast.

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