Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - November 19 - Hilary Barry, Your Embarassing Parent Stories, Big News Small Town

Episode Date: November 19, 2020

Kia Ora! It was the NZ TV awards last night, and although Dr Ashley Bloomfield was nominated for personality of the year, he then pulled out and instead Hilary Barry from TVNZ's Seven Sharp won, still just as deserving though! We caught up with Hilz Baz about her night and her win, and her apparent love of the bar. We also discussed how Matthew McConaughey's mum openly talked about the fact that her husband (Matthew's dad) passed away while making love to her, but she discussed this in an interview while Matthew sat next to her looking as embarrassed as ever. So we asked you guys, what is the one embarrassing story your parents always bring up around you, that makes you want to sink into a hole...?! Finally, Ben told a hilarious yarn about what his friend accidentally did with his mother-in-law, so hilarious, and we discovered Ben may have a skeleton in the closet about his own mother-in-law too! Enjoy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the podcast intro, welcome! Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Thursday, it was an interesting show today.

We had Sarah Jessica Parker on. It's not every day you can say that. No. Really? Unless we replay it tomorrow, then we'll say it again tomorrow. We might replay it for the Six O'Clock Club tomorrow. Yeah, so then we'll say it again tomorrow.

It's not every day. It's two days you have Sarah Jessica Parker on. Yeah, but what's going on Producer Juliette? I think we have a separate podcast for Sarah Jessica Parker. So not this one?

I don't think so. So it's going to be its own extended podcast interview. Oh, really? Yeah. So it won't be be its own extended podcast interview. Oh, really? Yeah. So it won't be featured in this podcast that we've currently said we had Sarah Jessica Parker on the show. Or can we put it in two podcasts? Probably. I don't know.

Put it in its own one. And then put it in its own one. Okay. That defeats the purpose of having its own one, doesn't it? No, not necessarily. Oh, maybe. Sometimes we start with the thing that everyone wants to listen to so then in that case it probably does because you want to listen to the first bit i'm stopping this conversation

i don't want to be a weird blanket is this something that we should have met about before turning on the microphone maybe probably but we're figuring it out as we go along so what have we ended up where have we settled are we putting it in this and doing its own podcast or have you gone oh if it's in two podcasts. I feel like it needs to be in this podcast at some stage just to bolster this podcast. Are you not confident

in the rest of the content? Oh, the rest of it's fine, but you just, this podcast without Sarah Jessica, that was the main crux of the show. I mean, we've spent now 90 seconds talking about Sarah Jessica.

I think it's in two podcasts, maybe at some stage in the podcast. This one, but if you want to listen to it on its own thing, go to that other podcast. Yeah, exactly. What do you some stage in the podcast. This one, but if you want to listen to it on its own thing, go to that other podcast. Yeah, exactly.

What do you cut out of the podcast? I don't know. Most of this. I don't actually know. I should get Mr. Alan in here. Alan compiles it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he probably cuts out all the times when Ben goes at 6.05.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And the songs. Yeah, the songs. The songs. Yeah. Because you can't play music in podcasts. I don't think you can. I recently discovered that, so yeah. How did you learn that harsh lesson? Yeah, the songs. The songs. Because you can't play music in podcasts. I don't think you can. I recently discovered that.

So, yeah. How did you learn that harsh lesson? Well, funnily enough, my sister does her own podcast and she got me to edit it. I've spent so long editing all her podcasts. And sometimes she mentions a song. So I was like, oh, I'll pop the song underneath, you know, make it sound cool. She comes back. She goes, no, we can't have the song.

You're not allowed music in podcasts. I was like, oh, wow. Hold on, who's this pod? What is your sister doing? You're sharing yourself around podcasts? No. You're editing multiple podcasts? What's your sister's podcast?

It's called Hatch Conversations with Creatives. So she, like, talks to people who have done their, like, maybe left the corporate world and gone and started something creative on their own. She talked to actors. She talked to the casting director of Jojo Rabbit. Wow. Yeah, it's quite cool. She's a bit of a novice, but it's great.

Yeah, that's a very specific podcast, isn't it? What's ours? What's our market? Just shit. We just throw stuff at the wall. Yeah, it's a podcast that may or may not feature Sarah Jessica Parker. Depending on what day you're listening to. We can't guarantee that. No, no. Enjoy the podcast. Whatever on what day you're listening to. We can't guarantee that. No.

Enjoy the podcast. Whatever comes up next is not up to us. Yeah. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Last night, the New Zealand TV Awards were held. Did you go? Yeah, I did.

Oh, you did? Yeah. Oh, really? I won an award for the person with the least amount of hair follicles on television. It was you, Dr. Drew McCaskill. Lee Hart was up there. It was a tightly run contest. But I got it in the end.

Third year running, I've got that award, baby. I was just saying I didn't go. Yeah, I went, though. Oh, good. It was fun. It was a really fun night with all of my friends. Hobnobbing, pressing the flesh. And do you know, Hilary Barry won TV Personality of the Year,

which is fantastic. I think this is like a People's Choice Award. That is. I was joking before, obviously, about it. I wasn't. I won the Board Award. Okay, that's a fact. But it's awesome.

Yeah, Hilary's so awesome on telly, and it's great that she won this. Yeah, so she was, you might remember this was the category that Dr. Ashley Bloomfield was also put forward for. But he gracefully, gracefully pulled himself out of the race. I know. He just said, I'm just a humble public servant.

And I'm like, could I fall in love with this man anymore? I was thinking that's great, but I also thought there's obviously a spare category for TV personality of the year. Who's taking that spot? That was my main concern. I was like, well, we could, surely we could get, you know, there's another spot, but they didn't pick someone else.

Oh, you mean someone's vacated. Yeah, he's vacated. What, someone else in there? Yeah, well, you know, I would have put probably Mike McRoberts. What were you angling for? Mike McRoberts, obviously, clearly. Put Mike McRoberts in there.

Should we call Hilary Berry? No, no. Hilary Berry's the TV... We've got her number. Don't call her. She's been up at the awards, celebrating an award. We'll see if she's awake. If she's not awake, we'll just leave a message on her voicemail

that she'll clear in about three years. Okay, and give her a congratulations and go through. We scored her number from the newsroom here. Hopefully she answers. Hello, Hilary speaking. Oh, she's awake. She answered. Hello. It's John O'Byrne. How are you?

You sounded very sprightly for someone who went to a TV Awards last night. I'm absolutely faking it. I wasn't sure who was ringing, so I just thought I'd fake it. Now we're just going to get a depressed Hilary Berry. I'm having a slow-ish morning. It's slow like that.

Oh, we're just ringing up to say congratulations. It's well-deserved. We love you, and it's great that you got it. Oh, thank you so much. Look, it was really lovely, but can I just say, we all know that Dr. Ashley would have won had he not pulled out. But you know what? I'll take it.

Yeah, good. Oh, so you're saying you got a consolation prize? Definitely. It's like it's Miss New Zolland and you know, they leave it to the last two and then they go, and the runner-up is... That was me.

You felt like how I felt when I played rugby when I was a kid and they handed out the Player of the Day trophy but you knew it was on Rotate. You knew it was on Rotate. You thoroughly deserve it, Hilary. Oh, that's very kind. Look, it was a lovely thing. People took the time to vote,

so that was very kind of them. Now, something we noticed in your speech last night, you made a nice speech, obviously honouring Ashley Bloomfield, but you said something at the end. Can we have a quick listen? Thank you to everybody who voted, and if, like me, you voted for Dr Ash, well, sorry about it. Have a great night. See you at the bar.

It's a lovely speech, but you ended with see you at the bar. Now, if we can cast your mind back to the election not too far ago. Have a listen to where you ended. Yes, I know. Have a listen. Thanks very much. See you at the bar. See you at the bar.

See you at the bar. There's a worrying pattern starting to develop here, Hilary. Yeah. Well, look, it's good that people know where to find me. I'm worried that TV's getting in the way of your drinking, really, all your TV commitments. And I'm very generous. I love to shout around,

so the two sides of my personality are colliding. Very sociable and love to shout at other people and drink. Congratulations. And I mean this, Hilary. What you see on screen of Hilary is what you are like off screen. You're a wonderful person, very easy to talk to, and a lovely lady. And I'm not quite drunk. Maybe that's why you're easy to talk to.

You just say stuff. Do you know what I'm actually doing right now? What's that? My outfit last night was borrowed, and I got quite warm by the end of the evening, so I ditched the jacket, and I was just wearing that lovely white shirt. And I was having a great old yarn to Wendy Petrie at the after party, because we had moved on.

And she spilled an entire glass of red wine down this borrowed white shirt. Oh, no. I've got the knacky sand out. I've got this shirt. Anyone who works for me. It was a good tuxedo look it was awesome. It was a bit different

I wanted to wear something a little bit different. There wasn't a frock with sequins and so I felt really lucky to be able to borrow that. They certainly won't regret lending you that. That's for sure. Hilary, well done again.

Well deserved. And I love to catch up with you this morning. Thank you so much. Take care, you two. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jorowyn Manomahit. Now, I found a video on the internet,

which is a story you brought to Spy a week or so ago, Juliet. It was Matthew McConaughey, a story about his mother and his father. And his father is no longer with us. But what happened, how his father passed was slightly comical, yet would have been devastating at the same time. Yeah, I feel like they're laughing about it now because obviously it's an unusual way that the father went. Yeah, so Matthew McConaughey

in a picture of this is sitting next to his mum. They're being interviewed by Jada Pinkett-Smith on that Red Table talk show and she puts the question forward to Matthew McConaughey's mum about his father's death which happened in quite an intimate setting. Yeah, this is a long time ago.

I haven't died making love to me. Right. And I remember saying, you know, when he fell back, I said, what's the matter, big boy? I wear you out. And he's no response, no response. And I'm thinking, oh my God, something's wrong. So I run across the street to my jury

room, my neighbor, and I say, something's wrong. Something's wrong. I don't know what it is. And so I had no idea that it was too much. So mid-courteous. And then Matthew McConaughey is sitting there. He's sitting there dying inside. He's going, this is not alright,

alright, alright. Like, Mum, why are you telling this story again? You know? Yeah, you can tell. He's just sitting there going, oh God, this is on camera. And you never want to hear your mum say the words, what's the matter, big boy? Did I wear you out?

No. It's a shocking collection of words for any mother to say. Next to her son. Yeah, I do. I mean, she can say it to who she wants to in the bedroom, but your son doesn't want to hear that. And let alone with a mic attached to you being interviewed on a video. McConaughey's like, this is going to go viral.

This is going viral. He is dying inside. So what we want to open up here this morning on the hits, 0800 the hits, you can text too, 4487. What's that one story that your parents, or your parents when you were younger, always brought out and you just, your head sank into your hands? A little bit of you died inside.

My parents loved to bring up the fact that I had a woman's petticoat as a comforter. My nana's petticoat. They loved to bring that up. Any opportunity. You've still got it, disturbingly. Oh, well, yeah. I know. They gave it to me and I feel like I can't throw it out.

It was your nana's petticoat. Yeah, yeah. And so I don't know how you obtained it. Whether it was off the person. It was off the person. I will take that. how you obtained it. Whether it was off the person. It was off the person. I will take that. Thank you very much. Nope.

No. It was off. Nice family. Was it gifted? Oh, look, look, I like it. How did you get it? I don't know. I was very young.

Was your nana like, I see you take quite the shining to my petticoat. I shall give this to you for Christmas. I like the feel of the petticoat. It would take it to bed as a comforter when I was a kid. No, I didn't know what it was. You like the silky texture. Yeah, the silky texture. Now, can I just, Juliet?

Yes. He has told us a story multiple times that his dog steals the underwear from the neighbour's washing line. So once. So once. Now, link this back to a child. You know, everything spawns from your childhood. All right, okay.

A love of undergarments. A rich love of undergarments. Okay, 0800. What's that one story your parents always tell that kills you when you're in the room? You can text 24487. Love to hear from you this morning. Producer Juliet, you've got one your father always busts out.

Yeah, so when I was about three years old, we were in England and we were standing outside Buckingham Palace. And you know when you're a kid, you kind of run around with no pants on. That was me when I was three years old. Dad was holding... At Buckingham Palace you had no... Outside.

No trousers on outside Buckingham Palace. No. That's not okay at any age. True, true. Disappointing the Queen, why don't you? No, but Dad was carrying me and I peed on him. And there are photos of me and Dad and there's just pee down all over the shirt. Outside Buckingham Palace.

Outside Buckingham Palace. And I'm sitting there like with a big grin on my face. And he always tells, I'm pretty sure he told it at my 21st and everything like that. Yeah, right. It's a good, you are right it's a good you are it's a good risky move anyway

risky move risky parenting move can't help it that could have been avoided with nappies yeah that situation

I don't know and I imagine he's walking you back holding you out yeah so 800 that hits the telephone number Charlotte

you're on from Christchurch welcome to New Zealand's breakfast the story your parents always tell well when I was in primary school, mum and dad came along to help out at one of my school discos. I think I was like maybe year four

or something. It started off embarrassing. Mum and dad started dancing in the middle of the dance floor. Oh no. And then they started kissing. And then at school I was known as the girl for like a whole year as the girl for like a whole year

as the girl whose parents hooked up at the school just now. Great, great play from the parents. Bashing on the dance floor. It was so embarrassing. That is incredible. I'm going to mention that tiny gun in that story today too. Oh, they're in the moment. Yeah, you know, once that kicks off,

it doesn't matter if there's a bunch of six-year-old kids around you. You can take that opportunity good on you Charlotte that's a really funny call thank you very much your friend had a 21st had this happen so much like your dad

telling an embarrassing story this was at my friend's 21st his mum got up and she was like some of the family have been wondering why I carry around

a locket around my neck it's a picture I've got a picture I open it up now It's a picture. I've got a picture. I open it up now. It's a picture of my son who's 21 today. And I was like, oh. And she's also next to it is a little bit of my son

that we cut off when he was born. He's obviously a male. They cut off a little bit. And I've been carrying that around for 21 years. You're like, oh, my God, this is the best story ever. And she holds it up like a shriveled piece of calamari. Oh, my God. My friend is just like, oh, it's a hang inside. And she holds it up like a shriveled piece of calamari. My friend is just like, oh, it's a hang inside.

And then she plays it back in the long. What happened to it? I think she put it back. She's like, you can have that now. And he's like, no, you can't. No, thank you. Goes great with a holy dip. Yeah. Gary, you're on from Auckland.

How's Auckland this morning, Gaz? Yeah, it's all good. I'm in Maracana, paradise up here. Oh, it is a wonderful part of the country there. There's the stories your parents bust out that have you dying inside.

What is it for you, Gary? When I was about six or seven, used to go to Sunday school back in the UK and they got a phone call from the Sunday school teacher to ask me to stop asking for motorbike stories.

And they're going, you know that there weren't motorbikes in biblical times? And I was most indignant. I said, there certainly were. Moses took his triumph and went into the wilderness. Yeah, I got stood down from Sunday school. He stood down from Sunday school for too much motorbike content.

Yeah. It might have worked out better for the big man if he had a motorbike. Could have got away from all those evil, just all those evil people who turned on. Thank you for your call, Gary. Appreciate it. All good.

Have a good day. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. A friend of mine had a very awkward encounter with her mother-in-law, so they went away last weekend to an Airbnb. So it was her and her husband and their a very awkward encounter with her mother-in-law, so they went away last weekend to win her B&B. So it was her and her husband and their kids,

and they brought the mother-in-law along as well. It was by herself now. You can't fully relax around in-laws, can you? You've still got to keep up appearances. You've got to keep up, yeah. Yeah, like I'm not wandering around in underpants and stuff. No, and they get on great, my friend and her and her mother-in-law. But in the middle of the night,

my friend had to go to the bathroom and she was like, you know, because it's a small-ish house, but I'll try and do it without the lights off. It was a risky move

to go down the hallway, you know, and try and do it in a new house. Well, you're hyper aware of other people, aren't you, when you're in a group situation. I always try and not make as,

I try and make as little noise as possible when I'm in that particular area in the middle of the night, which takes a lot of target practice. It does, you're right. A lot of credit given there. So she went down the hallway, went to the bathroom, came back, hopped into bed, thought nothing of it

until she woke up in the morning and she'd hopped back into bed with her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law was totally fine with that. But it was just an unusual... Wake up spooning the mother-in-law was totally fine with that But it was just an unusual Wake up spooning the mother-in-law She was like Oh okay Sorry about this

It was all just one of those Unfortunate things Got back in Double bed Lights off And then gone Oh okay A bed's a bed

Yeah well Everyone was okay with it But a very awkward You've got a very special relationship With your mother-in-law, Joyce. No, sorry, I shouldn't bounce from that story into this story. But you did live with her for a while when your wife was overseas. She went overseas and I moved in with my mother-in-law.

There was no accidental spooning that went on there. No, there wasn't. Which is great. What was the reason you moved in with Joyce? Oh, because Amanda, my wife, she went over at the time. I was going to say my wife at the time. I feel like I'm flustered. I don't know why I'm flustered. What went on with Joyce? Why are you flustered?

This is just a normal story, bro. Have we touched on something here? So anyway, Amanda went overseas for a few months. I was meeting up with her later. Obviously, we had to move out of our place. So I was like, hey, I'll move in with my little-in-law, Joyce. Oh, so you pitched it out of our place. So I was like, hey, I'll move in. I was literally in a lot of joy. Oh, so you pitched it?

What? No, I think. No, I don't think I pitched it. It's best for you to do it. I said, okay. It was great. We had a great time. A lot of washing was done for me.

A lot of things. Oh, it's great. I was really enjoying it. He basically assumed the role of an eight-year-old boy. He would come to work. He'd come home. His meals were cooked. His underpants were folded.

It's amazing. I'll fold it cooked his underpants were folded it was amazing I hope you don't mind I've folded your underpants yeah great that's great whenever you say I hope you don't mind I've folded your underpants

no one is ever going to go I mind no one is ever going to say you mind but Joyce is a lovely lady she also is not only very generous with her hospitality

but also believes Lance Armstrong is innocent from his drug cheating with a cyclist. Yeah, I think that's, I don't know how that's, we don't bring that up, you know. She was passionate, passionate.

She's a big Lance Armstrong fan. And obviously when you build someone up, you know, you're like, oh, they're awesome. And then you find out, it's hard to take those things on board. Like even Lance Armstrong was like, oh, I did it. You got me.

And George was like, we don't know. We don't know. We weren't there. We weren't there. No, but Lance was. We still don't know. We don't know. We weren't there. We weren't there. No, but Lance was. No, we still don't know. It's like saying Tiger Woods accidentally tripped over and fell on top of 200 women.

We don't know. We don't know. We weren't there. It could have been quite trippable conditions. You're dead right. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Here's a question I'd like to pose to you. How long do you hold on to a secret? If someone's told you a secret, when's the appropriate date where you can start spreading that around? Is there a date? I don't know if there is. Oh, you have to hold on to it for life?

Well, I feel like it's their secret to, you know, you can't just go, well, I waited three weeks, now it's open to the other. I don't like to think of myself as a gossipy person, but everyone loves it. Everyone, I love as a gossipy person but everyone loves it I love it, you love it there's so much stuff even on radio that we're like

I don't know if I'm meant to say this but I'm going to if that was an off air conversation just don't tell me anything you're right, we have three hours of talking to do and I'll probably just say it on the radio at some point so as a general rule, don't tell me anything. But media is quite a gossipy industry anyway.

It's like, oh, did you hear Tony Street stole coffee beans from the communal kitchen? Ben Boyce has been putting his glass recycling in the landfill bin, stuff like that. I mean, Ben Humphrey, our producer, he started a wild rumour that Mike Hosking had a helicopter pad on the roof of the office and that swirled around like helicopter blades, didn't it? It went round the office.

That's right, it did, yeah. Everyone thought that was a legit thing. I feel like you've got a secret that you want to say. I'm not saying you say it now. I'm not going to say it on the radio. No, no, no, but I feel like you're really just itching to tell. That's the thing, you're just like, yeah. I'm like a sieve.

I'm going to leak. You are. I'm like a guy with a prostate problem that's going to leak And you're like being centre of attention too So you're like Everyone listen to me So when you've got a secret you know that's going to attract an audience It's a wonderful social currency

What I get frustrated with is people that If they've got a secret that's fine But don't tell me you've got a secret Don't go oh yeah I know something about them, but I can't say hello. Why'd you even do that? You know, because they're kind of lording their secret over you. But I know you don't like to think of yourself as a gossiper, and many

people don't. But here's what I'm going to say. People love hearing secrets. There is no one on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy receiving a secret. Juliet, you're nodding your head. Oh, absolutely. I'm still holding on to secrets that people have told me two years ago that I'm like, I'm...

Are you a good holder? I'm a real... If you guys want to confide in me, then you can. Oh, wow. Okay, we can open the book. Tell me your secrets. Don't tell me anything

because I'll turn into a phonotop. I think I told you about it a while ago when I'd arranged a secret dinner out for my wife and some of her friends. And I was like, I told the kids. And the kids are shocking at that. They're like, who can we tell? I was like, well, don't tell mum.

It was the me kids. And they were like, can we tell the new babysitter? I was like, I guess you can tell the new babysitter. But then she arrived at someone we hadn't met before. And the kids were like, oh, dad's got a secret about you. What about the babysitter? And I was like, well, it's not really about her. So I could just see Amanda looking at me,

looking at the baby like, what's the secret that your dad's, we have to tell you in the bedroom. So off they went to the bedroom like, this is incriminating. You know, because I couldn't say to Amanda what the secret is that we're going out for dinner and some of your friends are going to be there. Plus I'm having a rampant affair with the babysitter. That's what it looked like.

And this is why I don't tell kids or me secrets. It's a great lesson. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Time to look at some big news. Small downtown. This is news, making news.

Not necessary everywhere, but we want to make it news everywhere, right? Yeah, I don't even think you'd find it in the bowels of the odd news section on some news websites. Yeah, but we will not ignore this. It deserves to be there, right? That's right, as journalists, respected journalists, we will not ignore these stories.

And today we're going to head to the South Island where we're going to talk to a world champion sharer. Now this is not to be confused with a generous human being who shares either way too much information or everything they receive. A sheep sharer. She's part of a four woman team who hold the world record for sheep sharing. They did 2,066 lambs in nine hours. Wow. That is incredible.

Nine hours taking a sheep from a fluffy, comfortable feeling to a naked, pink, nervous-looking animal. And Sarah joins us right now. Sarah Higgins, we understand you're very busy. Yes. We will try not to hold you up. That's okay. Can we pretend we're very busy too, but we're not really?

Well, you do work for the hit. We've got stuff going on, mate. We've got some pink songs to play. We are, what are we doing? Ben's having a coffee. Yeah.

He's clearing an email. There's stuff going on. Hey, we've all got stuff going on. Very good. Hey, Sarah, a world record,

Sheep Shearer. Yeah. Have you got that on a business card? Oh, I don't. That's a good idea. Yeah, chuck that on. Have you got that on a business card? Oh, I don't. That's a good idea. Yeah, chuck that on. Or get it printed on a hat or something. You know how you can go to Capabilities

in the Westfield morning, get a world record holder? Yeah. I don't want everyone to know. So how many sheep did you share to get this world record? And what time? I did 528 in nine hours total time sharing.

So it was four of you that, dare I say, shared the record for the sharing. That shared over 2,000 sheep, is that right, in nine hours? Yeah, we did, altogether, we did 2,066. Wow-wee. And nine hours, is that non-stop? Are you having a break? Are you drinking some water?

Are you keeping up the fluids? Yeah, no, we have a break almost every two hours. So we started at half past five in the morning and finished at five o'clock at night. Does sharing transfer into other areas of your life? Like, could you become a barber, for example? People have always asked if I could clip a dog or a

horse. I haven't tried it yet. No, what about a bald radio announcer, about 38 years old, giving up on life? Actually, 39 now, actually a year older, more giving up on life. Could you give that a go? Actually, it does get done, but we specialise more in taking mullets off. Oh, I see.

Because there's not much to do for John, you'd feel like you wouldn't want to charge him for that, would you? You'd be like, oh, mate. It's a pity shave, isn't it? You're like, oh, really? It's a pity shave. Do you know when he did get his hair cut one time, he ended up getting his eyebrows done as well.

Remember that? Yeah, the guy was like, oh, they're getting a bit long. You want me to shave them? But he said it as a, you know, you're a professional shaver. You're a shearer. You deal in this, the removal of hair. Yeah. He said, your eyebrows are getting a bit long.

You want me to give those a bit of a blast? And he said it in a tone that this was a regular thing. And, you know, it's an occurrence that they do every day, like an everyday thing. I was like, yeah, sure. And he shaved them. They came clean off. Well, it would have matched your hair.

Yeah. It would have been all right. The guy was probably feeling guilty that he was taking money off you for a haircut you didn't need. I've got to shave something. He wanted to shave something. Well, I must admit, I do. I live on a farm now, and I always have all my life,

and I don't think I'd survive living in town. My cousin Stu worked on a highland sort of sheep farm in the middle of the South Island. He came to live with us in the middle of the city, in Auckland City, for about six months. I bet he was hard work. My main problem with Stuart, I love him, he's a wonderful cousin, is the meals he would cook.

He would make nachos that would cover the entire plate and sort of go up in a pyramid mound. Like his appetite was... You're working it off When you're doing that When you're in the country You're always on the move right Insatiable Yeah

Do you know what I agree I look at my sister And her family That live in town And myself and my partner If two of us would eat Just as much as what

Her family are for The entire See she's got big appetites Those rural folk Yeah Do they get Is there like a sharing Now excuse my ignorance

Is there a sharing season Because obviously you want them Fully covered during winter right Yes We sort of have two seasons We're all folk. Yeah. Is there like a shearing, now excuse my ignorance, is there a shearing season? Because obviously you want them fully covered during winter, right? Yes. We sort of have two seasons, like a winter and a summer season. So how many sheep have you got to shave or shear during a season? We probably do close to 100,000 sheep. Oh, my.

Between how many shearers? Four. 100,000. Geez. And so this is your full-time Oh, four. Hundreds of thousands. Jeez. And so this is your full-time job, obviously. Yeah. We just get a wee bit of a holiday in sort of like April and November. Wow.

How do you survive without flat white decaf soy lattes? I have a coffee machine at home. Oh, you've got a coffee machine. That won't backfire. You could probably just milk a cow directly into a cup of coffee, couldn't you? Well, or a sheep. Can you milk sheep? Yeah, people do.

Absolutely. No. What do they do with the milk? Do you drink it? Do you pasteurise it and drink it? I'm quite uncertain that if you went to town and went looking for it, you would be able to find sheep's milk. Really?

When you're milking the sheep, are they like, what are you doing to me? Do they have that look of fear in their eyes? They get tempted with food, so they actually get very used to it and they love coming. I've done it. I've been, a friend has a sheep milking farm in Nelson. I did not realise you could milk sheep. You can milk anything, can't you?

Anything is milkable. You can. And Ben's looking at me because he knows what I'm going to say next. You can milk Ben. I've offered him that I would milk him. I don't want to be anywhere. He doesn't want to be milked. This is almost getting past PC for radio.

Yeah, no, no. We're on the hits, mate. We're on the hits now. Enough of this. Carry on. Well, lovely talking to you. Congratulations on all you do. Amazingly tough work that you do.

100,000 sheep. Yeah, great honour to be rewarded. Amazingly tough work that you do. A hundred thousand sheep. Yeah, a great honour to be rewarded. Sounds like you really deserve it. So, yeah, nice talking to you. Thanks very much. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, hide and seek.

You know, it's a household classic. It's been around for probably... It has. What do you think about it? Hide and seek's probably been around for hundreds of years. It probably started in quite a dark place, hiding and seeking. No, Jesus did the hide behind the rock thing, didn't he? And then appeared three days later.

He was the original hide and seeker. He's like, gotcha, I was in there the whole time. And they're like, we've been looking for you, mate. Oh, and you pretended you were gone forever. Yeah, I know, anyway. You got me. Anyway, but yeah, Poppy, my daughter, loves it. She's right in the zone of hiding and seeking.

I always got so excited and had to go bathroom, you know, because when you hide, you get really excited as a kid. And this was just on the weekend. I know. I'm too excited, kids. And they're like, what? What are you doing? Just go hide and seek.

I get very excited when I'm hiding, especially when you have a good spot. You're like, oh, this is so exciting. Yeah, but I love playing it with Poppy. But, you know, the, I fight i fight now correct me if i'm wrong no parent can be bothered playing hide and seek after a few games because the thrill is gone they've got three or four hiding locations and she's so lovely and honest that i'm like where are you and she's like in the cupboard oh yeah like that's yeah i remember kids would do that to a certain age, you'd be counting and you'd go in and you'd go,

you guys ready? They'd be like, yep. And you'd be like, suckers, you're behind the curtain. I heard your voice. I know where it's coming from. It's a champagne mistake. Your whole generation's making it and we are owning you. We are destroying you at hide and seek.

But yeah, no, so she's like, oh, let's play hide and seek. And I'm like, okay, well, I'll start counting. So I sit on the couch and she runs off. I'm like, oh, let's play hide and seek. And I'm like, okay, well, I'll start counting. So I sit on the couch and she runs off. I'm like, one, just watching TV. Two, three. No, you're just watching TV two, though. That's a one, two, TV two. Just watching TV two.

One, two. And I go, ready or not, here I come. And then I sit on the couch just going, where are you? I can't find you. And I just give myself five minutes alone before embarking on the hide and seek. Yeah, I see what you're doing there. The poor thing's sitting there starving in a cupboard. But's a yeah no it's a fun you play hide and seek when you're young do you oh absolutely also spotlight was a big one when we'd be going away

to beach houses and stuff all of our neighbors would be playing spotlight which is at night time and you have the torchlight and i think it's kind of this is it similar but you have to get make it to home base or something like that oh yeah i love spotlight and sport life. But they're changing the rules on the games too. The kids, he's a handball. You ever play handball with the tennis ball? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It used to just be straight, bounce it before the line, go like that, but they bounce back. Now there's like the bloody Baghdad bomber and the red eye drop and all these manoeuvres

that, you know, I play it as the most confusing game now, handball. Oh wow. He's like, you're out. I'm like,

what am I out for? I just bounce the ball back and he ends up in a bit of a heated dispute, Hamble. I end up bickering with a 10-year-old child about the rules of Hamble. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed.

Hey, good morning, everyone. Moreno here is a news update from a guy with more journalism credentials than a toddler, but less journalism credentials than an adult journalist. You sort of sit in between. Probably less.

More on the toddler end of the scale, but hey, that's fine. I'll take it. In New Zealand, we bought a second COVID-19 vaccine. The government, they've allocated $66.3 million towards buying some vaccines for New Zealand, which is a lot of money, isn't it? But I guess in the grand scheme of things,

it probably isn't. Have they announced, which is a lot of money, isn't it? But I guess in the grand scheme of things, it probably isn't. Have they now, because they had gone with Pfizer, who announced last week that they had one that was sitting around about 90% success rate, and we had 750,000 shots of the Pfizer vaccine. But have we hedged our bets? Have we gone further? We've gone to another company as well, basically Johnson & Johnson.

Love Johnson & Johnson. They have a, well, they hopefully have a vaccine for us. We've bought upwards of 5 million doses of that, 2 million which will arrive next year, mid-next year, and the other 3 million should we need it the following year.

But at this stage I haven't heard Johnson & Johnson in the vaccine race. I didn't hear them in the game. I've heard them in the No More Tears Shampoo race. Exactly didn't hear them in the game. I've heard them in the no more tennis shampoo race. Exactly. That's how, I mean, the other one, Pfizer, they're responsible for the Viagra. Yeah.

So, yeah. So, but what I found interesting, so Pfizer said they were the Viagra company. They said they had a vaccine last week that offered 90% protection. Everyone's like, wow, that's amazing. They'd been working hard on that. And then Mordena, which is another US company, they said they were 94.5% effective. And they're like, wow, that's amazing. And they'd been working hard on that. And then Mordena, which is another US company,

they said they were 94.5% effective. And they're like, ooh, okay. Why does Johnson & Johnson come in? I don't know, but Pfizer's come back and gone 95% now. How about that? Extra 5%. 0.5%, sorry. So there you go.

You know, producer Humphrey was saying something before the show. I don't know if this is correct or not, but I'll spout it off anyway. Most vaccines only have around about a 90% success rate. Oh, so this is great stats. This is fantastic. Well, 95? Very soon they'll be like 112% effective. You'll be like, is that possible?

I don't know. They're just going to keep going and going. This will just eliminate any virus ever in the history of viruses. Now, last night the TV awards were held. What happened, Ben Boyce? Well, Hilary Barry won Personality of the Year. She's great, Hilary Barry on Seven Sharp. And she got on stage and she

paid tribute to Dr Ashley Bloomfield who was also nominated for Personality of the Year on TV. And he pulled out because he was like, I'm honoured. I'm a mere public servant, he said. He's not a TV personality, but this is what Hilary had to say. This is really, really lovely, but I do want to acknowledge the MVP in the

category who pulled out to Dr. Ash. Thank you to everybody who voted and if like me you voted for Dr. Ash, well sorry about it. Have a great night. See you in the bar. Hilary, she's awesome. Well deserved, Hilary. She's so good

on TV, but her last line, see you at the bar. Now, if I could take you back to the election not too long ago, how did she end her election coverage? Thanks very much. See you at the bar. See you at the bar. Has she got a problem?

Do we need an intervention? I feel like Tiki's in the way of her drinking. Yeah. See you at the bar. See you at the bar. See you at the bar. No, she's lovely. But what you see is what you get with Hilary Barry, isn't it?

She is off camera what she is on camera. Unlike us, we are despicable human beings. The stuff we get up to, far worse. You think we're bad on microphone. Think about what we do off. Hilary Barry, just say, see you at the bar. See you at the bar. We went to those TV awards once and, ooh, strap yourself in.

It's a long haul, isn't it? Yeah. The whole time we were plotting, how could we get out of here? But thankfully we won an award, not because we won an award, just because we could actually get out of the room. You can exit because you go through the bar.

You're like, oh, okay, we're done. And we actually did get to the bar. See you at the bar. See you at the bar. No, well done, Hilary. That's right. Any other big winners from last night? Oh, yeah, lots, lots of big winners.

Paddy Gow must have taken away something. Yes, Paddy Gow won for his documentary as well. I think best documentary and best presenter in entertainment category as well. Oh, good. He deserves that. He's very good, Paddy. Best news, three news as well. So, yeah, I like that.

Is it the best news? Do they deliver the best news? Like it's kittens and rainbows for all. That's great news. Or was that actually the best news coverage? I guess it was the best news coverage, right? What do you say they just deliver great news to people? The best news.

Guess what? Marty and Tina are getting engaged today. There's no such thing as COVID. Over to our kitten reporter next. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand.

We're calling a different town or city in New Zealand. We call one a day. We're not going to stop until, well, we stop for weekends and some days. Public holidays. Yeah, yeah. Annual leave. But eventually we will call every town and city in New Zealand. Then we'll stop.

In fact, over the Christmas holidays, I'm going to do it just on my own phone. Just go, hey, g'day, where are you? How are you? So Jono and Eva, Jono and Ben. Anyway, but today we're heading to Kai'u, which is located in Northland, 22km from Kedikedi. It's got the slogan, Small Town,

Big Heart. Maybe they could look at changing their slogan to Kai'u. We're probably freaking ages away from where you are. But this small town has suffered multiple floods over the years, did you know, Ben? No. That hasn't dampened the spirits of the locals,

even though they've been literally dampened. And the chemist which we're about to go through to looks like it's in a building that used to sell ointment to the soldiers in the New Zealand land wars and most recently sold ointment to our producer, Millennial Max who suffered severe allergies in Kyo last weekend. Oh, he was saying about that, right?

Thanks to the grass. Oh, there you go. So we'll head through to the chemist. Kyo Chemist Viv speaking. Viv, Jono and Ben from The Hits here. How are you? Oh, okay. Yeah, we phone every town in New Zealand.

We're doing one a day. It's Kaio's turn today. Oh, lucky. Yeah. You run The Chemist? I do. And it looks like it's in a tiny little colonial building. It sure as hell is.

Yeah. It used to be the, it's a church. Oh, really? It's a stained glass window if you look from the outside. I'm looking at the photos on Google Maps here. It looks like a beautiful small-town chemist. It's a pretty cool place to work. We've got Whangaroa Harbour, which is around the corner here,

which is all the game fishing stuff. There's lots of historic stuff around here. So, you know, it's beautiful walks. And what dragged you to this wonderful part of the world, Viv? I've been in Northland since I got here in 99. So I just like the weather and it was

meant to be the winterless north that comes and goes a bit. But other than that, it's a nice place to be. Now, I do detect an accent. So you've obviously come from South Africa. I have, yeah. And so we've branded it the winterless north. But there is winter there. You know, it's not like you avoid the season, right?

That's right. So is it a lie? Have we been lying to the world? A little bit. She's like, I won't lie. You have been. It rains here a lot. Kaya is also known for flooding.

All right. Okay, now you're a chemist, aren't you? Yes. Eczema. My friend Ben's eczema's starting to flare up. It's getting flared up. Well, what can I do? Lots of things.

For starters, you want to stop him using soap. Yeah. Well, he does use a lot of hand sanitiser. Yeah, okay. Hand sanitiser's got alcohol in it. It's very drying. There was a wild shortage of hand sanitiser during the pandemic, wasn Hand sanitiser's got alcohol in it. It's very drying. There was a wild shortage of hand sanitiser during the pandemic, wasn't there? Well, during the lockdown.

Yes, there was a wild shortage of a lot of things. And then it almost seems like there's too much. All the sanitised places are like, we need to make heaps. It's great having lots of it, but it's almost like there's too much now, right? Yes. My thought, my local chemist was making bootleg hand sanitiser. Were you doing that? Yes. My thought, my local chemist was making bootleg hand

sanitiser. Were you doing that? No. There was a bit of a market for it back there. We were quite lucky because we had a local initiative here which was making sure everybody had hand sanitiser so we made sure we didn't

really have too much of a problem not having enough. You wouldn't have had any cases in Kiowa, surely? Not that I'm aware of. That's good to hear. We had plenty of roadblocks and stuff. We drove up north the other day. A lot of roadworks going on, isn't there? Yes, it is.

And, yeah, what's on special at the chemist, the Kiowa chemist? What can we get today? I know a lot of chemists have... We're rural chemists, so you can get just about anything. Oh, anything. Okay. Name something, Ben. A steak.

A steak. No. We'll draw the line at food. Okay. That's probably the one thing you can't get here. Sunglasses with flames down the side of the arms. No, I think we'll draw the line on that. Guys, as much as I love having this conversation,

I've probably got five people waiting for me now. Oh, sorry. You sound very busy. Viv, no, we continue this on. We'll call you back for part two. Have a lovely day. And you. Oh, isn't it funny when people cut short our chance?

Well, mate, we're just there for a yarn. They're in the middle of a work day. We're like, what else? How's the eczema? What can we do with it? You know? Can I get a steak? Yeah, I know.

They're like, this is great. But yeah, she was lovely. She was awesome. I would have just hung up. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Jono and Ben with Resene, taking the guesswork out of choosing colours. Now, each day this week, we give you the chance to open two Resene tins of colour

to see what paint is inside. If you match up the two tins of paint, the same colour, you'll win a prize. But we're going to give you anyway a $500 Resene voucher. How does that sound, Kath, from Nelson? It sounds awesome. Thank you. You got some painting to do, Kath? Well, I do now, don't I? Well, you do. You've got a $500 Razine voucher, which is awesome.

So yesterday we've taken out the two shark grey, which were a match. So number two and number six, they don't exist anymore in our 10 paint cans. But number seven is pink and number eight is yellow, just for your little game of memory, okay? Okay. So I actually was talking to the people at Razine yesterday, and they told me Michelangelo's only regret in life was that he didn't use Resene products to paint the Sistine Chapel. Oh, yeah.

That's a fact. That's a fact, Kat. That's how good this paint is, okay? All right. All right. You sound excited. Let's go. What number's you going to pick?

Which is your first number? Number four, please. Number four, Jono. Okay, so Jono's going over to the corner of the studio. We have now eight tins of paint in the corner of the studio. Okay, number four. I love the way he brings it away from the... Probably bring it over to the expensive equipment.

I understand. I understand why. Number four. Okay, here we go. Okay, is... Oh, that is the scrumptious pink. Oh. And it is a scrumptious looking pink.

I don't know why on earth you'd paint your house this colour, but it's a good colour. It'd be great for a room. A great room. You're right, Pete. You wouldn't go full pink on a house, would you? Maybe you could. Barbie would. Yeah, that's right.

She's opted for a pink, hasn't she? Okay, so do you remember which was the match for this one? Number seven. Number seven. Okay, let's find out if you're right. Have we got another scrumptious pink? Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Kath? Yes? Kath? We've got another scrumptious pink? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Kath? Yes? Kath? We've got a scrumptious pink. Yeah. Oh, you rubber. You scrumptious little thing. Okay, Kath, you've won a voucher to your favourite restaurant.

Thanks to Rosene as well. Oh, groovy. That's awesome. Oh, that is very cool. So congratulations, $500 from Rosene, their gift voucher, and a voucher to your favourite restaurant as well. Thank you. So you can paint the town scrumptious, scrumptious pink.

Oh, you're not out. Jen, my wife, she works upstairs here at the company, and she came down yesterday, saw all the Rosene tins. She's like, why don't you get us, Rosene, to paint your house? And I'm like, that's not how it works. You don't just get paid tins. And Ben was like, you'd have to do some sort of prank. And Ben would have to paint my house and it'd be like,

oh, no, you painted it half Spanish grey. Oh, I wanted extra white. Oh, no. Looks great, though. It looks great. Paint it with test pots, man. Paint it with test pots. Yeah, good on you, Kath.

You're a thinker, aren't you? Thanks very much, Kath. We'll play it again tomorrow. Thanks to Resine Colour Shops. Bring out the best in your home with a huge range of colours and wallpapers from Resine Colour Shops. Bring out the best in your home with a huge range of colours and wallpapers from Razine Colour Shops. Hey, nice work. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz Listen, our show focus groups tell us these stories have no significance whatsoever, but we keep ploughing on regardless.

Juliet, here's Spy. What's going on? Thanks so much. Now, this is significant if you'd bought tickets to Crowded House because next year in March they're touring the country, but some people are going to be getting partial refunds for a portion of their ticket. Now, this is because Ticketmaster have this thing that I didn't know about

and I'm sure not many people knew about it previously, where they hike prices depending on how in demand the tickets are. So if they're selling out fast, they'll hike up the prices. And Crowded House didn't know about this. They didn't agree to this. So they published basically saying

this is not how we want to sell our tickets and so now Ticketmaster are going to be refunding that sort of extra price. That portion. I didn't realise that's how it works. They go fluid with the market demand. I thought ticket prices were just ticket prices and obviously so did Crowded House.

And so did everyone. Yeah, so it must be a thing that Ticketmaster do but it's probably not something that people want, right? Well, if you want a reliable ticket source, I always go to Via Go-Go. They've never let me down. They've never let anyone else down, apparently.

No, that's right. And their prices stay the same. Flawless. Exactly. Well, that's good on Crowded House for stepping up. Yeah, for sure. Like, what happens at the consumer rights in regards to that? Because they would have been advertised at a certain price,

wouldn't they? Initially. You would have thought so, right? Probably. But I guess on the website they can kind of just change the price any time, right? Would that be the case? I assume so. Jumping the fence is always an option too, guys.

Don't forget that. It's Spark Arena though, isn't it? You don't have to get in. Yeah, you really have to plan it at Spark Arena. You can jump a fence, but then you have to somehow get through some doors. And security. Or let's this guy jump in the fence.

It's not even a fence. You have to bring a fence. Jump over it. And then they probably won't let you in at the front door. For the full effect. And George Clooney, he confirmed that. So back in 2013, I think there were a few rumours

that he gifted 14 of his closest friends about a million dollars. He never confirmed it until now in an interview. And he said that basically these 14 friends all helped him out when he, before he was famous. And so he's like, how do I repay them? I've got all this money. This was before he was married to Amal and had kids. So he's like, what do I do with all this excess money?

I'm going to give them an espresso machine. That's what I could have done. Yeah. Yeah. So we got like, what do I do with all this excess money? I'm going to give them an espresso machine. That's what I could have done. Yeah, so he got out $14 million. But the story that I found quite... So he gave 14 of his friends $1 million each. Wow, that's amazing. But he gifted it to them all

in cash. And you think about how do you get $14 million in cash? But the story is quite funny. So he figured out there was this place in Los Angeles in an undisclosed location, real subtle, and you can go

and they've just got giant pallets of cash. And he took a, he got an old beat up van that said Florist on it, drove to this location, only his security guard and his assistant

knew about it, went down. This is like an Ocean's Eleven heist. I know, literally. And got $14 million in cash and just packed it into the van and then gave it to all of his friends. You'd be so nervous. Oh, my God.

I know. It's like when you transfer money to go overseas and you're like, uh-oh. Yeah, I know. And you look and you feel like you want to act normal when you walk out. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You're like, I've got $900 in American dollars here. Oh, God. Got 900 USD on me here.

I know. You'd be so worried, but he did it successfully. So he was going to do it, I understand, leave the money to them in his will. Yes, yes. So he was like, well, why am I waiting to die to give my friends this money? I may as well give it to them now. Well, I've left you my wisdom teeth that I got removed two years ago in my will, Ben. Thank you for that.

So there you go. I can give them to you now if you'd prefer. I'll wait. I'll wait. Wait until you both probably did so you don't need it. And that's five and more. You can check out the hits.co.nz. Wake up full of shame.

Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're just talking about a guest we've got on the show tomorrow, Lance Savali, who's a New Zealander doing amazing things on the international dancing stage. Yeah, he's danced with J-Lo, Beyonce,

all the top artists. Rihanna, who's just in Rihanna's fashion show and I was just saying, is he a dancer or a choreographer? And you're like, both.

We think he's both. So did he choreograph Rihanna's fashion show? Question for him. First question for Lance tomorrow, he's on the programme tomorrow, Lance Savali.

Listen, why is it going to be a good day? We'll go out with you, Nicole. Why is it going to be a good question for him. First question for Lance tomorrow. He's on the program tomorrow, Lance Savali. Listen, why is it going to be a good day? We'll go out with you, Nicole. Why is it going to be a good one? And Bocono.

I got my hair done yesterday, so I feel like a whole new person today. Oh, me too. We're in the same boat. You got your hair

done, did you, John? Yeah, I got my hair done. You haven't noticed. Oh, no, I haven't. You're wearing a hat. You have a great

day, Nicole. Thanks so much for your call. We'll catch you guys tomorrow from sex. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake. We'll catch you guys tomorrow from sex.